The Boyscast with Ryan Long - #56 Yannis Pappas is for the Boys (THE BOYSCAST)

Episode Date: March 5, 2021

Ryan and Yannis talk about the world, having kids, career moves, history hyenas, and mistakes learned from.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And you can tell our friends, and they can have my things when we're dead But we gonna live forever, but we gonna live forever And you can tell our friends, and they can have my things when we're dead Welcome to the BoyzCast with Ryan Long, first podcast exclusively for the Boyz Still for the Boyz, Boyz, Boyz, Boyz, Boyz, Boyz Year of the Boyz, I'm thinking of making that shirt Me and Johnny, the guy who does my merch, cheers for cheap We talked about doing a Year of the Boys. I'm thinking of making that shirt. Me and Johnny, the guy who does my merch, cheers for cheap. We talked about doing a Year of the Boys shirt. Today, I have a conversation with Giannis Pappas. And I'm sure that a lot of you know who he is. History hyenas, among a million

other things. He's got had this huge long career. And I did a video with him, the lesbian conversion treatment. And I thought he was one of those guys that when I edited the video, a lot of times you're like looking for takes where it's him. It was like so easy to edit because he was so funny. I was editing and being like,

yeah, Yonah's funny, dude. So he's been very cool to me since I moved to New York. Hilarious guy. And before I start, just want to say, have two dates, Orlando and Tampa coming up

if you want to check them out because we leave for Miami and we're going to be there for a month. And hopefully we'll be adding more stuff. Also, this episode is sponsored by Forbidden Clothes, still Forbidden Clothes Week. And we did so much numbers, apparently, that it broke their site. And I got a million messages being like, I can't buy the shirts. And his site was down. And all that stuff.

So that's all back up and running. So if you do want to buy the shirts, they've got a whole bunch of stuff promo code ryan10 forbidden clothes week and this is my conversation with one of the funniest people in the world yannis papas here with yanni b we made it what's up ryan long how are you yeah buddy are you and you were just in Miami. I'm going there tomorrow. Yeah, I was just in Miami. It's wide open. Yeah, I mean, Schultz is down there. And every month you spend in Miami, you lose one button on your shirt. You just slowly open your shirt until it's completely open.

When you see a white guy with, like, a completely open shirt in Miami, that means the guy's been there six months and he's left his family and he's now doing lots of cocaine. That's a lifer. We have a office, me and Danny have an office in that Schultz building. Oh yeah, that's a great studio down there. That's a great building.

It's cool. Yeah, very cool. Danny had a fucking sick tweet today that made me laugh hard about Dr. Seuss. It's real funny. Oh, I think I saw that too. He said that, what was it? Do you remember?

He said, yeah, he said he didn't think Dr. Seuss deserved to get canceled until he saw his book, The Kike on the Bike. Kike on a Bike. He had an okay one yesterday too where he said that because of the WMXN he was like all I know is that WMXN belong in the kitchen

he's killing it yeah it's so fun how much the country has gone off the reservation it's actually at first I was like, I get angry at it. Now I'm like, you know what? This is the best thing that ever happened to comedy is how crazy people are. We have so much to make fun of. Yeah, I saw that you posted with, I think it was Zuby and he was like, white people

need to stop doing this. And you're like, yeah, don't stop. It's hilarious. Please don't stop. Yeah, it's really funny. Please don't stop. Yeah, he was saying can white people stop apologizing for being white and i was like no please continue we're we are a

monolith we're all guilty you know we all think alike we're all evil please keep it going treat us like the israelites treat white people when they pass the street and stop to listen to their ranting i kind of have this argument with people a lot because a lot of times you'll have people that are like, oh, you're like, you're so mad at this stuff. Like, why do you care? And I'm like, no, I'm not mad. I think it's hilarious. Right, right.

Yeah, there is. You see people that they're like fired up. And maybe I'd say maybe there was like a minute in like 2016 where I was like, yo, this stuff's the worst. And then five, because, you know, you like lose a few jobs and you don't get, and then you kind of, but then very, very quickly, I was just like, oh no, this is hilarious. And yeah, so it's like, I'm not talking about it on stage.

I'm talking about it on stage cause it's funny to me. Yeah, it's, you know, like the political correctness and the wokeness, it's funny how I started to learn about it because I've said so many crazy things as a comic. I didn't – and I come from New York. Like I was born in Brooklyn. So, you know, people are – kids are brutal to each other when we're a kid. I mean I grew up with – you know, my neighborhood was like – it was white, Puerto Rican, black, Jewish.

I grew up with everything. Yeah, I got it too. Yeah, that's how we were friends. We made fun of people or each other's cultures. Like if you called your Muslim friend like a muzzy or if you, you know, it was, that means he was your friend. So the way I learned about world culture was kind of like, I assume this, the way someone coming out of a coma

kind of learns about technology. I was like slowly going, what's going on? Oh wow, this is, it was like a disorienting and weird and strange and foreign. Yeah. No, it's fine. Because you've been on the road again, right? Yeah. I'm just starting right now.

And I'm ready for that fucking Brazilian strain. I'm ready. I'm ready. I took down that fucking Wuhan strand. Now I want that Brazilian shit. It better have a fat ass and be what Bang Brothers advertises. I felt like that when i was going on the road again because that was one thing doing comedy you kind of just live on the internet too

much and i guess everyone's just not people when i was back on the road you you kind of were like oh here's the sensitive things and whatever it's still going to talk about them but then what i you i forgot was the like dynamic of normal humans when you go no if there's a table of like indian dudes they can't wait for you to make fun of them like i had a bunch of hasidic dudes there was like four of them and i kind of talk about that stuff a bit and then they were like yo do more of and then when they came up to me after the show they're like that was we are dying and it's like they're like do us do us they can't wait for you to do their group it's not the opposite where they're like i hope he

doesn't touch our indian stuff right it's the opposite if you do opposite where they're like i hope he doesn't touch indian stuff right it's the opposite if you do pakistan they're like yeah but do indian and then they go oh that's my dad you know they like can't wait yeah they're the only people who are upset the only indians that are upset about jokes that you make about indian are indians who can't afford to get into the comedy show because i'll tell you what there's not too many indians who can't afford because they're fucking crushing it. And yeah, when you see them live, they're like, yeah, make jokes about us because we're doing great. You're punching up because we make more money than you do.

Yeah, it's also inclusive. I used to do that joke. I haven't, I don't think, said it in America because in Canada, we have so many Indian dudes. So when I, kind of the way that you have like Latinos and you go to watch comedy clubs and everyone's talking about that. And I'm kind of a little bit like, I guess, you know how every Latino does this? And I go, I don't know.

We don't really have those. Like, do they? You just have to take their word for it. But in Canada, we have so many Indian dudes. And a lot of times the comedy club would just be like 40, like finance frat dude, like Indian, you know, just rocking out. You know what I mean?

Just doing coke in the bathroom type of dudes, finance bros, but Indian. And I used to do that a lot. Like a lot of white girls would be like, Oh, you know, you got to feel sorry for this guy. And the guy's like, I make 200 grand a year and I have nine of your friends in my boat tomorrow. So. Yeah. You know, usually Canada is a little bit behind the United States culturally, but it seems like you're confident Indian guys are a couple of years ahead of ours. Yeah. Our confident Indian guys are rocking out there.

Well, they go two ways in Canada. So half the Indian dudes, well, there's certain ones that kind of go computer Asian. So there's like a, but that's not that many. Like there's a few Asian Indian dudes that sort of become like,

you know, gamer guys or whatever, you know, that kind of guy. but for the most part you either go full finance like frat dude or they go like gangster like which is kind of what more your latinos do they go the closer to the black guys where they you know uh urban like like rap music love the toronto raptors do they valid do they keep when they go gangster, did they keep the, the headpieces?

No, we don't. They didn't barely any Indian guys rock the headpieces, but it is always fun. You know, it's always cool when there was that band Das Racist. It was like a rap group and the guy wore the turban, you know,

like there was a market for like a cool, like there was a bunch of these like tattooed turban guys popping up. And I think girls were digging the tattooed turban guy. They were except for that, that, that super fan at the Toronto Raptors games. He's an Indian dude. He's like the most famous. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And he, yeah, he rocks the turban hard. I don't think that guy's the sex symbol that I'm talking about.

Right. Right. Yeah. But he definitely, he has sex symbol money. I'll tell you that. Cause he's got front row fucking seats. He does not, yeah. So he runs a bunch of car dealerships. It's funny because there was a few things where, when this stuff was all, he runs, he's a car dealer. I forgot in Canada, your benefits make you rich. Yeah, when this guy, when, you know,

there'll be like one thing where someone said something to superfan on like an instagram and every story was like racism against superfan blah blah and then basically so every blog was like you know everyone's being racist against superfan and and he's the best guy ever and it was like let's not forget that this guy made his fortune scamming you. He's legitimately a used car dealer. The amount of people that fucking walked away from the dealership with just a hoopty, the wheels falling off so he can buy his Raptors tickets. His job is literally the job that they named slimy business people after. He's the cliche slime ball.

Yeah, yeah. I didn't know that i thought he was probably like i thought he was like a hedge fund guy you know like i guess that's funny i was stereotyping him i was stereotyping i was going i was probably some fucking hedge fund indian guy who's smarter than me went to went to mcgill and and and speaks fucking speaks, you know, French-Canadian. You got to call it French-Canadian. You got to call it French-Canadian because I know you may have some French fans and they want to distinguish. I hope not.

Those are not French people. We're French people. Yeah, they don't. They're a different breed. The Quebec people, they're always trying to get out of Canada every 15, you know, years. They're like, we're getting out of here

the way that I guess Texas is here. But yeah, no, that guy had essentially, you know, a used car dealership with his face on it, like Bipin Dapara's car dealership or whatever. I assume he inherited it. I don't know. Yeah. So he was like, his kids will be that because he's an immigrant, right? The kids, like his kids for sure are like probably finance bros. They're the confident douchebags who come to your shows. And when you're in the T dot. Yeah.

Just rocking out. And I always find, this is what I always say. Culturally, they they're at an advantage in the same way that other races are with each other. Indian dudes are at an advantage because they think like a seven out of 10 white girls hotter the way that,

and I don't mean it because I mean it, that we were like that too. We're all see like a black chick and I'll be like, Oh, that girl's hot. And my black friends would be like, why she didn't got an ass. Like that girl's a seven. Cause we just like have different cultural tastes. So there's all these, like, I'll find like Indian dudes. I'll be like that girl smoking. I'm like, that is a basic, like average girl sort of bad skin. And they'll be, so they get, if you're like a finance Indian bro with money, you just have the pick of the sevens.

And in your mind, it's like shallow how, where they're mine, it's all 10. It's funny. Yeah. Cause when like we all culturally, we all kind of like different things. There's no, I mean, you know, stereotypes come from, come, come from, come from somewhere. And you know, like black dudes do like a thicker girl typically. And I think that's my theory. That's my theory why Jessica Krug, like Jessica LaBombayera, which is my favorite, and Rachel Dolezal, I think they were able to get away with it for so long.

You think they have the body type? Yeah, black dudes just couldn't see past the fat ass. It's like the Yankee pinstripes. It just blinds you. And they're like, Oh, she's got to be black. Cause look at that fat ass. Do you want to know my theory about it? Yeah. Okay. So this is what I think it comes from. And this is probably something wrong with what I'm saying, but I think that because black girls are, uh, I bet it's a little firmer. So when you get a white girl that's really fat, she starts to look more sloppy. So I think, so we have more of a disdain because, you know, you grew up, if your mom gets fat, it's fat. But I think that, you know, even like the same way

black guys can be like cooler when they're fat, because it's not as like rolly. It's a little more of a firmer fat. So that's why it starts to the big asses whereas like if if in the white white bodies if they start to get fat it just starts to get like sloppy yeah i think but i but i think that comes from the place that we're talking about that me and you just don't want to fuck black chicks where the black dudes will be like i want to fuck her i yeah she she just looks like i like black chicks but yeah but no you but no, the white, the fat white girl looks sloppy to you, but there's some black dude who'll be like, he'll fucking, he'll make that wife. Yeah. Loves it. Yeah. Yeah. Loves it.

Well, there's, we have a chat group with like some of my boys in Toronto, like comedians and this black dude, Anthony, he's like, he's pretty hood dude. Like went to jail and stuff every day. Every second day, I would say he sends us a message in the group being like yo you seen this new comic she's fine and all of us are like that girl's disgusting are you crazy yeah legitimate seven and then you said that like a skinny white girl you're like look at how hot she is he's like like, are you fucking, he's like, are you crazy? He's got no meat on her.

In our mind. Yeah. And in his mind, I sent him a picture of olive oil. Black dude. Yeah. Black dudes treat the women. They like,

like when, when somebody gets disappointed about the portions at a restaurant, they're like, that's it. Fuck it. I mean, come on. That's skippy.

It's funny. You've been doing, well, I almost don't like it because you and Tim Dillon and some other people have been trying to make Clubhouse happen. And I'm like, yo, stop making this a thing. But I saw the funniest ones. What was your thing? Big Pharma behind fat and proud celebrities. Yeah. And then is it racist to not be

racist? Did you get to the bottom of the fat and proud celebrities on the topic of fats? I got, yeah, I got to the bottom of it, but I figured it out. I mean, I'll tell you that's, I figured out who was behind like Lizzo and Lena Dunham. They are being paid surreptitiously. They're, they're being sponsored. They're being sponsored by Big Pharma. Those are commercials for Big Pharma. They basically want the obese and proud celebrity to make everyone feel like their body type is okay. So then they can sell their cardiovascular medication to them later in life when their fucking heart collapses and they need all the medications. in life when their fucking heart collapses and they need all the medications. So they are behind the positive body image fucking Instagram accounts.

And then COVID was the fitness industry's reaction to that to try to get people to slim down. So actually it was the fitness industry that created COVID to scare people into getting into shape. So it's been a war between pharma and the fitness industry behind closed doors. I didn't know the fitness industry was run by Asians. Dude, it's a proxy war because it's a proxy war.

They both got nukes, so it's mutually assured destruction. So they know that they can't have an all-out war or the whole world will die. So they're doing it through these outlets, through these channels. It's good going up to like a really fat chicken, calling her a puppet for big pharma. You're like,

come on, you're getting a paycheck from Johnson and Johnson, right? There's no way you could be this happy about being this fat. You're a fucking circle. You look like a fucking satellite. You're in on this. Is that girl a little,

is she kind of working with big pharma? I'm telling you, man. I mean, you know, it's in their best interest to keep us all fat and out of shape. They sell a lot of pills to people like that. Yeah, that's with everything, right? That's the, what is it, 60% of women are on all sorts of medications? Yes. I mean, you can't deny that it's in their interest

for us to at least not be okay. Yeah. Their whole industry is like, is there something wrong with you? Please, please let there be something wrong with you. Yeah. Yeah. I did a video that probably is coming out next week.

It's a therapist that tells the world to change. So it's like, you know, the girl comes in and she's kind of like, you know, oh, I'm low. I did it with Corinne. And then she's like you know the girl comes in and she's kind of like uh you know oh i'm low i did it with karen and then she's like oh i'm lonely and the therapist is like have you tried writing a letter on the internet telling what men could do differently you know like it's all just the removal accountability but it is it's that it's like remove all the stuff and then we can pump you full and chitching did there's a conspiracy that the that the the same thing's happening with the trans

stuff that because all these places have the patent on all the trans medications yeah i mean it's they definitely have an interest in it you know i mean there's definitely an interest you know you don't know and why not why not we live in an era where you don't need evidence or you don't even need to be a journalist to write about something. So you heard it from me first. I'm a self-proclaimed journalist, and I've done absolutely no time in the field, and I have no data to back up what I'm saying. So that's why you should enjoy it because it's controversial. I think that, well, to be honest, that to me is like what all this is happening.

Because really, if you're talking about that stuff, I would think it's probably closer to never let a good tragedy go to waste. Where it's like the company see like, oh, this fat thing. And then they throw flame on it because they're like, we can profit on this. Probably, you know, some of these things start organically, but then everyone gets their grubby paws on it or whatever. But that's what these journalists do. They look at things that kind of happen and they go, do what you just did, where they go, this is because of this. And you go, wasn't because of that. And you go, it wasn't because of that.

It's just, there are two things that are also happening. And yeah, that's like, but there's- Right, they can't just go and sponsor the dollar menu. They can't do that, but they can certainly encourage it behind closed doors. You know, let's keep that going. It's a very good thing for our business. Yeah, let's keep girls, what was it called?

Girl fucking, what was Lena Dunham's show? Girl Hatton? What was it fucking called? Girls, yeah. Girls, fat, confident girls. Voice of our generation. Yeah, they're like, keep that on. Keep another couple seasons.

Nobody's watching. Like, keep it on. Here's another couple million to make people believe that people are watching that shit. That was the, yeah, that was the voice of the generation for the fat, gross community. Yes. And we can say that about her because she once supported Homolka, whatever her name was. What was her name again?

Homolka. She supported Carla Homolka? She supported Carla Homolka. She made a joke. Oh, I think you said that. Yeah. Remember we talked about that on Hyena. She made a joke.

And so if you try to fucking come at us lena dunham we got some fucking cancel ammunition right back at you bitch what's he doing now do we incur i did kurt masker's podcast and he he he's always talking trash about that show but i think the funniest uh thing was she did this vote rap so it was a rap for uh to vote for hillary and she legitimately raps and she's like hillary is the baddest girl like it's so crazy and charlamagne the gods in it i think i saw it and it's yeah it's cringeworthy you know i actually thought girls was funny when it started uh what's it called girl yeah i thought it was funny when it started like at the beginning and then because i thought it was kind of a little bit of a parody of that.

And then it started to kind of take itself too seriously. Like all that, that, that, that ethos, that kind of whole era kind of did. And it kind of just, I think it just jumped sharp. But at the beginning, always, always, always. I mean, it's like, that's like the human condition. That's like our big flaw is like, we just can't stop. It's like, we never know when to just be like, that's like our big flaw is like we just can't stop it's like we never know when to just be like that's enough it's like you know just keep we're like the original woke people

are like the original alt comics like david crawd they were actually good and then now it's like we gotta cancel dr seuss like we're all the way down to fucking dr seuss dr seuss was getting it today yeah because these the people that followed those people just, you know, they're doing it. They're just charlatans. They're just doing it. So they have a,

you know, a raison d'etre. It's like that. They don't have any skills. So they're just fucking doing it because it's the only job they can get. And so now they're fucking finding, I mean, do you make who,

what adults are sifting through fucking Dr. Seuss? Cause you know, it was a single, it was some young single kids who you mind, who, what adults are sifting through fucking Dr. Seuss? Because you know it was a single, it was some young single kids who were like, what they do is they, the way we brainstorm comedy, the woke crowd gets together and like, okay, what do you got for me? It's like they have a journalist and they're like, Dr. Seuss, I read one Dr. Seuss, there's the fucking, there's the character in there that could be construed as a stereotype. Now, good. Let's run with it. It's like that. They do the same shit we do when we fucking brainstorm for jokes.

They're just brainstorming for someone to fucking cancel so they can be the one to do it. So they don't have to look in the mirror and say, Jesus Christ, I don't know how to code and I'm not funny. This is the only job I can do.

Yeah, they workshop it on their blogger friends. Yeah. Chocolate's racist. Is that something? Does that work? their blogger friends. Yeah. Chocolate's racist. Is that something? Does that work? Does that cancel it? Yeah. I mean, it's nuts, man.

It's absolutely – it's because they don't – humanity just doesn't know when to stop. It's like, okay, dude, you won. It's like gay marriage. You guys won. You don't got to kiss naked in the street outside my window. I support you. Like trans window. I support you like trans people. I support you.

I'm so I'm such a socially liberal person. Like I'll put G.I. Joe figures in my ass and march with you. Like I don't care what I need to do. But it's like, you know, if you're fucking if you're if you want me to pretend that that six foot eight lacrosse player who just transitioned last week, you know, is maybe not supposed to be on the field with my girlfriend, who shouldn't be in college either.

And that's a shout out to fucking, you know, recent news stories. Then, you know, yeah, I can't do that. I can't pretend that I don't see that. Yeah, it's the same thing as like, you're supposed to pretend things aren't funny when they're funny. I always said like, there was this really huge guy. He was like, you know, this bodybuilder guy and he came out of the closet. And I was like, we're like, that's pretty funny.

And this girl's like, I mean, how is that funny? And we're like, okay, you win. It's not funny. The biggest, like toughest guy we know, like fucking a dude. It's not funny. I like, I was saying, I like head butts and dude's butts. And I can't laugh at that. I got it.

It's crazy. It's, it's actually crazy. It's like, uh, you know, I don't know how this took over, but it's like, yeah, people are not their thoughts. They're not their tweets. It's like, you know, it's like if people are not their thoughts, like yesterday, I was thinking, you know, I wanted to kill my wife. That doesn't mean I'm, I'm a murderer. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It's just like, the bitch just needs to get off my back. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It's just like, the bitch just needs to get off my back,

you know? Yeah, I mean, everyone's been there and you only execute it on it 20, 30% of the time. Exactly.

But it's like, if I tweeted it, I'd be done. If I tweeted, people, it's crazy that we live in an era where people treat tweets as actions. It's hilarious.

Yeah, you're pretty aggressive on Twitter. I, this is even the clubhouse thing because, Yeah, you're pretty aggressive on Twitter. This is even the clubhouse thing because, dude, you do so much stuff. And a part of me is like, you know what? There's like a do things you're already doing a little bit.

And it's like, okay, I can add probably more videos in. I can add more podcasts. But it's like, can I add another like two hours a night where I just go talk right to me? And I watch you guys do it. And I'm like, yo, stop it. This is going to become mandatory. Yeah. Well, I mean, you have a, you set a pretty rigorous schedule for yourself. I mean, you're like on the, like a Saturday night live schedule. You do one a week. Yeah. I don't do them all one week though. I do like two at a time. And then,

you know, even now I've done four at a time. So I kind of run it like a, a show like that, where I block shoot and then I kind of make, then can do okay now i can run to do this and write and then we're working on a movie and blah blah blah but yeah it's like with all that stuff though those things to me it's like i'm i know i'll be on it and i've done a few where i'm like even left you know left fur he was like dude you gotta get on it it's like it's building my following like this and this i look he's got like 600 followers. I go, get the fuck out of here. Yeah.

You say love. And also just like, go back to modeling, dude. I'm not sure if this is for you. You know, you're like 23. You're hot. You've got great bone structure. It used to be fat. He's 800.

Used to be fat. Oh, he blew up again. Love's got some meat on his bones. Yeah. Black guys would love that yeah he was all his Instagram photos were just like him sucking his cheeks you know if he could stay away from Carvel you know he's a good looking kid but some kids just can't keep their paws off of Carvel yeah he no that's exactly what it is but he's in like every other comic I don't know if you ever got into karate because of the because every every comedian does karate or boxing now i know i know it's hilarious it's like yeah no i here's the deal if you know jujitsu i bite so i mean good luck with all those years of

training but i fucking bite and that's how you beat jujitsu i will just bite i'll grab your dick i'll try to put a finger in your eye i do all the things that are illegal in MMA. I'll take you fucking out. Sign the contract, Dylan Dallas. I want to go 6'9", style, and get a bodyguard. Yeah. I was actually thinking that because I was – and then I was like, all right, I'm being crazy, but I'm doing all these like street interviews.

I was like, yo, that might be like interesting because when I used to do my TV shows, we used to just like have a big crew and it was kind of safe. But now I go with this guy, Johnny. He's a big guy. And I was just like, we're doing, we are doing some pretty crazy stuff. I'm like, I bet I could push it a lot farther if I just hired a bodyguard for 500 bucks an hour, like a real guy. And then it's like, then I could really push it. And then I was like, I think this is getting crazy. I don't need a bodyguard, but I mean, you don't, you probably

don't need one just because you got your brother, right? What? Oh, my brother's big dude. Yeah. What am I going to call him? Hey, I'm in New York and I'm about to get beat up. He's a monster. He's a big 6'6". Yeah, my brother's 6'6", but he's also like a big tough guy. You know what the funniest part is? Because, you know, you just kind of, in your brain, your big brother's just bigger than you.

He was like, we were talking and he goes, it's so weird. I remember that I used to be able to beat you up and then it switched that I could beat you up. But I remember you beating up my friends and I was like, Evan, I was 20 and you were 11. I was a grown man and you were a fucking grade 7. He was like, yeah, I guess so. But you didn't remember it like that? I always think that's so funny. I was a grown man and you were a fucking in grade seven. Right, right. But you didn't remember it like that? I always think that's so funny. Yeah, it's like the psychological advantage.

Like the older has that psychological advantage until it's broken. And then it's like, you're like, fuck, what do I do now? It's like with the dad too, right? Yeah. Like, could you take your dad? No. Well, towards the end, yeah, I could beat the shit out of him towards the end. I mean, he lived until 91.

So when he was in his 80s, I could fuck him up. But it would be elder abuse. But, yeah, it's the psychological. It's like I remember when I was dating Jessie Mae, she had a chihuahua, and we got a pit bull together. And the chihuahua was older, and, like, we brought the pit bull in as, like, six months old. And the chihuahua would just, like, jump up and hang on the pit bull's lip

and just bite it. And the pit bull was just old and the Chihuahua would just like jump up and hang on the pit bull's lip and just bite it. And the pit bull was just scared because the Chihuahua, which they're like the Joe Pesci's the dogs, you know, he just had the fucking, he just had the psychological advantage until one day the pit bull just figured out like, yo, you're a fucking squeak and I'm a pit bull and turned around and yeah. And then the Chihuahua just never fucked with him again. But it's like, yeah, if your brother brother has that you had that advantage over him until one day he just he looked at you and he was like no i'm i'm as big as this dude he took that one swing and you

flew into a wall and it was open his spell was broken you know what i i know i know all this stuff about you now too but i was just thinking because like back in the day i it is funny because you posted like you you used to do the character um what's the girl's name marisa yeah and i seen i knew you before i moved here but i saw like you posting recently and then corinne was like i didn't realize that how popular that character was before like so you kind of had this whole you know viral life before you before this new one, right? Yeah, my comedy career is like a cat. It was dead, then it was alive, then it was dead. Now it's probably dead again.

And then I'll try to bring it back to life again. Why is it dead again now? I'm a fucking COVID long hauler. I'm intubated, but I'm still breathing. I feel like you guys are killing it right now. We killed it, but we decided to end history hiatus. So it's, yeah. So, but yeah.

I was getting shit for it. People, cause I was on, I don't know if it was the last one but it was the time you announced it. So everyone was messaging me that I broke you guys up. Yeah, it could have, yeah, it could have been. There's so many rumors. Yeah, it was a mutual, it was a mutual breakup. It's totally amicable.

We're just doing other stuff. Who knows? We may get back in the future. But it was such a hot podcast that, you know, who knows? But Long Days, my new podcast, is doing great. It's out of the gate. It's doing great. And a lot of IE fans are loving it.

So I'm excited about that. But yeah, Mauricio was, you know, this was like 2000. First I had Panos. Mr. Panos was like 2008, nine. So it was like before wokeness, when people really shared things on Facebook, like it was things were really viral. It was like kind of before hardcore algorithms were, you know, doing things. So it was like it was people going like, you have to see this, you have to see this. And yeah, Maurice hit. We shot those in our living room of our rent-controlled apartment, and they just went viral.

And then I toured and would do her live, and just, like, we would have the best shows. Oh, you were doing that live. We did it live. I did a show with both of them. I would do two different shows. Then I brought them together. I would do both the characters, you know.

And, yeah, she sold a lot of tickets in certain markets, and it was just great. It was just a character that went viral, you know. It's funny looking back at it now, because in now's context, you're like, some pretty aggressive, edgy stuff. And so there's a warning on it when you go there now. There's a warning on it on YouTube, which is so la-

And you know what's the funniest thing about that is, the fan base was all Latin, black, and gay. They loved it. That was the ones who loved it. I mean, all the shows were packed with uh with minorities minorities that and and gay people i mean gay people would come and like dressed up and dragged and like have fucking wigs so it's funny because it's such a cancelable cancelable character but like you know they're frustrated especially when it was big like

and the woke movement was starting they were probably just like frustrated because they couldn't do anything because the people they were trying to speak on behalf of fucking loved it it's like britney spears to the gays they're trying to cancel her and every gay guy's like you're not taking britney no just you can have everything else just fucking leave us britney and just leave us that age medication do you know that's helpful to our community yeah as, as long as they get our prep. They're not going to fuck get rid of that shit. You know what I feel like helps with probably someone like you, and I think it

helps and hurts, but when we're talking about you know those other celebrities where you're like, you know, they kind of begin the woke thing and a lot of these people are making bad stuff now or whatever and the Americans just can't like know when to stop the thing. But also I think, and I kind of had a similar trajectory to view of like up and down a bunch of times.

And I think a lot of it is just the, that like contrarian thing what's in you. And even like, I don't know, it sounds like you've all those things you stop history. I ain't is when it's popping off, but I've even have that with standup where it's like, if I do something and people start to think of me as like this edgy guy and I

show up and I'm like, yeah, I think I'm going gonna go clean tonight. Like it just, my instincts are to go so against whatever they're expecting to do, just comedically. It just, to me, that just means you're a real comedian because I think our role, if we have one, is to always kind of keep society honest,

to keep powerful people honest, arrogant people honest, ourselves honest. We're always just trying to shit on the thing to keep powerful people honest, arrogant people honest, ourselves honest. We're always just trying to shit on the thing that seems to be in favor, that has the advantage. We're like the perennial underdog that's always trying to check shit. And we're rascals.

We don't like to go with the crowd or the group because the mob is probably the most dangerous. It's just as dangerous as a dictator. The mob is kind of what puts the dictator in power in the first place. So we're always going against the mob. And you should kiss our fucking feet for doing so. You spoiled fucking brats, because we were the last thing standing between fucking Empress AOC. And when she puts you in her fucking gulag, just remember, we were trying to awaken society to the nightmare that was coming. gulag just remember we were trying to awaken society to the nightmare that was coming yeah it's exactly that and then people sort of they they start being on that mob but they start

the their thing becomes a new mob and they forget the reason they were doing in the first place and they're just like no we're like you know what we believe in you're like well things changed since then it's like now that's not no longer the tides. It's kind of the same way that, I mean, even I'm sure you have the same thing, but if I'm doing an all white room, like I'm going to be making fun of white people exclusively. And if I'm doing a all gay room, I'm making fun of gay people because that's the power dynamic. That's what people, you must've talked about this, but like how much people screw up, like punching down and all those concepts.

Like it's almost like you, there is actually truth to these things. Like there is a dynamic that you want to be punching up. It's like, but then they bastardize the concepts and try to turn them into like fake rules, you know? Right. Right. Yeah. It's true. I mean, like, like, like we said before, it's like, people just go too far. Like you're theoretically correct. You want to kind of try to punch up um you know because yeah it's funnier it's not cool to just go hey look at that you know look at that disabled guy i mean yeah we get it but you know you know life is not black and white and so you can't you can't you can't set the rules because of what you like or don't like or else then we're not free anymore that's what i

always think is so hilarious about the right-wing guys who are like we're free we're here for freedom brother i'm an american you know i drink hulk hogan i shit them out i'm fucking red white and blue brother budweiser every day and then they're like okay i believe in freedom but here here's my caveats you can't be. You can't vote to the left. Don't kiss the guy in the mouth. Don't eat sushi. And vegans are all faggots. You're like, okay, so that's not freedom.

You just want the world to be your tastes, you hypocrite. Freedom is you're over here fucking going to see a Ryan Long show, and then there's two guys butt fucking at the next club, you know, and you're totally fine, and you might even be friends. You know that's freedom it's like hey you're into that shit i'm into that shit we all kind of figure out a way to just kind of understand that it's a free country and that's cool but people are too fucking shitty and that's why they need us to remind them that aoc's got fucking natty bombs and i can't wait for her to be empress because i will fucking stare at those tits all day and I'm already

a married guy so I'm ready for a dictator I will not fight I'm not going to march I will just fucking do what you say because I'm already obeying my wife so AOC just fucking motorboat me bitch with your proverbial wokeness I'm ready take me down could be a threesome we get AOC's you know if you're

going to be progressive get in there with that dude me and you are going to be cellmates in her once she sees your skits and she catches my characters we're going to be cellmates yeah once the resistance starts rounding up comics yeah that's the other one

the people like that makes it the bastardizing of comedy when you talk about like representation all that stuff you go yeah but there's more groups than just races and like genders it's like the same thing you just said left and right like that's also representation or you know if i'm working class and they're not or this guy's a trucker like when you go to the thing if you're a if you uh are a musician and you're like oh i'd like to see songs about music like there's more to people than just their like race and their gender i mean unless you're a, and in my mind you're just that.

But if you're a guy, there's more too. It's a complicated pie. There's exceptions to every rule, yeah. Yeah, that's why I love the white people, the straight white people. That's like the boogeyman now. It's like, pretending white people are a monolith is so hilarious.

You're ignoring a few world wars where just white people slaughtered each other by the millions. I'll tell you, it's just white people do not care about each other at all. There's no white unity. White unity happens with these small little groups of white supremacists, which hilariously are always the worst representatives of white supremacists, which hilariously are always like the worst representatives of white supremacy. It's like, if you ever see the guys who are like, whites are superior, you're like, if I, you know, I'm not buying you. If you're the car telling me that you're better, that's like the fucking super band trying to tell me something. I'm like, if you're,

if you're superior, you're not going to doing a good job selling it, Bubba. You got three teeth and your wife is your sister and your dog's off a leash and it's running around in the yard. You're breaking a lot of community rules. And I don't buy it. I feel like there's two types of white people, though. We're the worst or we're the best. And both are bad. And like the we're the worst.

They're like when you see those people do like white people, we're the friggin worst. And you're like, I mean, you specifically are making a good case for this. You know, like the, the white people are so bad. And you're like, I mean, yeah, if I just saw this, I'd probably be like, yeah, you're right. You do seem to be like an annoying breed of white person. Right. And it's like, yeah, down with the patriarchy and it's like, who's paying for you to go to NYU? My dad, but, but down with all the other patriarchs.

Yeah, let's keep that one. Hey, what's something that you would say that having like career ups and downs for like, you know, you said like three times or whatever, what would be something that you say you know now that you kind of, that screwed up on the first couple that you feel like you're getting right now and you know a little better?

Yeah, the industry is an absolute mirage and you can say anything you want about them. It doesn't matter. Get your fan base. The entertainment business has exploded into a million pieces and everyone mistakes their piece as the whole. And that's when I know like

one of my friends is getting arrogant when they're walking around like they're Matt Damon and they think that, I'm like, none of us are Matt Damon anymore. We're all touring bands. We have our fans

and it's the greatest era to be a comedian ever. Just accept it. Stop fighting against it. Stop going, fuck these internet guys. Really? Do you want to go back

to when a booker who used to be a bartender controlled your fucking face? Do you want to go back to when a booker who used to be a bartender controlled your fucking face? You want to go back to those days where there's three fucking liberal arts women who are sitting in an office going, you know what? This is what makes me laugh. Or do you want to be able to build it yourself and be Ryan Long and fucking go and sell out and make a living and not care about COVID and not wear masks and put us in danger because he's Canadian and Canadians don't play by the fucking rules because they have free health care they take their fucking health for granted because they know the government's going

to cover their ass oh they're playing by the rules dude you have to get locked in a hotel if you even want to go back there by the way I don't I don't think I told you this but I got the most aggressive message I think I might talk about it here but but I got a guy that said, he goes, I was really enjoying you on history hyenas. I thought you were really funny until you talked about going to Tampa for, and having that big show or whatever. Now I think you should fucking die. Fuck you. You're a B and it went on and on. I'll go, Whoa, this guy goes, I hope your family dies. It was like the most aggressive message I've ever seen.

Yeah. And then if you ask him about the CCP in China, he'd be like, don't say that. They're good people. But Ryan Long, fuck you. Yeah, 100%. That's their culture. Yeah, but no, don't say anything about Chinese and where the virus comes from.

Don't fucking say anything like that about what they're putting certain people in concentration camps or they just like outlawed gay marriage or some shit. Just don't, they just took high. Don't say that. But Ryan long, you didn't wear a mask.

You fucking piece of shit. I talked about this last episode, but the, the, the prime minister of Japan said that we're thinking about letting women at the meetings as long as they don't talk. I mean, kids got a point, yeah. I mean, in the free market of ideas, I mean, I think that one might win, you know?

And he's talking about Asian women. Imagine if he was talking about white women. I mean, yeah, I mean. Or Latino women. Yeah, then it would be. Yeah, I mean, that's funny that he's talking he's saying that about japanese women's like how how much less could they talk that's a chat that's chatty to him i mean jesus christ their silence is bothering you

just tell him to bow more i feel like the one thing that i was thinking about is that the the idea that everyone gives you advice and even if their advice is right, it's like wrong for you. So it's like that idea that even now I get so much people in America being like, oh, do this, do that. And you go, even if you're right, I might not want to do that because it's not the right thing for me. And then I'll be going down a path and you're like, maybe you were right that it helped me get bigger, but it was, I didn't want to do that. So now I'm, now I'm the clubhouse guy because I, because I, cause everyone told me I had to do it. Not. And again, once again, I will give the disclaimer

that I will 100% be on clubhouse doing these chats. You know what I'm going to do on clubhouse? I'm going to find a way to prerecord them. You just pretend like you're live. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, this is, this is the best era. If you want to do what you want, this is the best era. You have a chance. You have a shot. You know, it's like the internet allows you a shot to actually do what you want and try it and be successful at it. So it's like that's the thing. When I strayed from that because I had my early success on the internet and then I went and I took the money, did some TV shows and stuff like that and made great money and, you know, bought a house or whatever with that,

saved that money. But do I have regrets like did that set me back? I think so because I think at the end of the day, it's the fans that matter, your fan base, where your power comes from. And that's why I said you can say anything you want because if you build a fan base, don't worry. You know, those opportunities will come knocking because they need your fan base more than you

think they do it's kind of like the only job where where people do that too because if you think of a guy who started his little like contracting company and he's got you know maybe got like two trucks he's got four employees and he's kind of running his own little business it's not like in the back of his mind like i hope a bigger contracting company hires me i could stop doing my own it's the only thing where you like build up this whole business in hopes that like you can just never do it anymore and just get this everything and dad can sort of take care of you it's true it's kind of true it's funny like that yeah yeah i mean there's nothing to get there's only something to build right now so it's like if you're a comic star now just like build something build a podcast do skits like like you like skits like you i mean

it's like you know it's like, do, do whatever. Do get on Clubhouse, whatever it is. I don't know, fucking take, you know, figure it out. Even the logistics of it. I mean, like you probably work a lot, but it's such a different thing when it's your time. I mean, even like the idea of, you know, people always talk about the Saturday Night Live thing or whatever.

And I'm like, I would imagine like getting up Monday and then I take a subway to, I don't know, where is it? In Times Square or whatever. And then I go to that building and i'm like i would imagine like getting up monday and then i take a subway to i don't know where is it in times square or whatever and then i go to that building and i'm like how is that better exactly than what i'm doing and you're like well i don't maybe like you get to go to the oscars i don't care about the oscars i care what these guys think like i don't know yeah and uh you know it used to be the only thing you could say is like oh well they make more money it's like that's not true anymore. That's the big thing that changed. Yeah. Yeah. That's the big thing that changes. Like, that's not true either. I mean, all you got to do is go take a peek at Tim Dillon's Patreon. You're like, oh.

I try not to. Yeah. Things have changed. Yeah. It's changed. You go, you go check out Schultz's studio in Miami. You know, you look at your shows. I see you post and it's like, your seats are full. It's like, things have changed. So it's like, not only is there a lifestyle advantage to it that you get to do what you want, but now there's a, it seems to be a monetary incentive as well. Yeah. I was talking about this. Like, yes, uh, yes, I did the, what are you going on over there?

Oh, that's just, I, I got my, uh, my vibrator is warm, is warming up my, uh,

warming up my motorcycles. I'm going to Italy after this. Come on. Are you, you're not get out of here. No, no. I just feel like motor stupid.

I just feel like that's sad. That sound just goes like I should, I should be in Italy. Yeah. When, when fucking me too gets to Italy, it's just going to crush whole culture i guess i can't talk to women anymore like if i can't grab a german's girl without like what's the point of being italian if you can't grab a german tourist ass without her permission leaving all your knuckle hairs on her butt for evidence

i was saying though the idea that it's funny because you know even like hollywood they don't know how to make stars anymore like they used to be like oh we can make a star so i'm like because they threw away their vows so much at the same time that people kind of do like rogan can make a star like the same way that uh then like i was saying these young guys the nelk boys it's like they just like signed a guy brought him into their crew and got him to a million followers now he's super famous and it was like these idiots on the internet are doing what they used to be able to do and they're like we'll make this person a star and everyone's like you suck our dicks if you think we're gonna buy that person as a star right right right yeah pretty soon it's gonna get ridiculous

and we're gonna have to go back to the industry that's for sure you can't keep the people in control for too long yeah the people have a little too much control right now. Cause yeah. If we start getting too much power, then we'll all start making our wives famous. You know, whatever pussy we're whipped on, we'll be like,

Hey, let's come on. I've been with girls like that where they're like kind of out there for the clout. Like, yo, you're not going to retweet my thing. I go,

we, this cannot be our dynamic. Your day, your wife isn't in the industry, right? No, thank God. Yeah. That's, that's a, she's not, she's far away from the industry. And you've done that before though. I've done that before. Yeah. I, it can work. I mean, I've seen a few that work, but generally it's like two people who are going, look at me, look at me to narcissist. That's, that's, that's, that's notists. That's not a recipe for success generally.

I don't feel like it's the move. And also the other reason I feel like it's the one reason that I kind of always think is like, you're so in control of what you say and what you do. And it's like, you know, and whatever, maybe we get out of control and say the wrong things. But at the end of the day, like you're accountable for it. Whereas when you're dating someone,

they're out there saying stuff that, you know, girl does this and this everyone's kind of making fun of you and whatever it is right like if you're how much did kanye west get killed over whatever kim kardashian did and whatever maybe he has more money but just from like a being a comic standpoint it's like it's just an extra thing it's like having a mom that's like really present that's always doing wacky stuff at your school and you're like mom you have to stop like this is hard enough as is to you know my friend group is savage and you showing up with your tits out is not helping right yeah you go uh yeah all you you guys are all watching the back of the room and she starts doing jokes about the guy she's dating who has a little dick like jesus christ you know i've seen that too where the yeah the girl's being like oh yeah i'm dating this guy

he's fucking so crappy at sex he's such a weirdo and the guy's standing there like ready to go honey good set you know that line's really that line about my small dick's really working have some respect yeah hey you should tag it with this yeah i'm also i also don't even pussy that good giving it giving it tags yeah you used your engine the time that i uh came quick and nothing even came out remember that jam i had to come in my mouth there you could use that it was real funny when i caught you cheating and then i groveled back i'm obsessed with you because i'm obsessed with you what did you think how's the how's the How has the married and kids affected your thing?

Because you did it, I feel like. In my mind, when I put your trajectories, it feels like you did it at the right time, even though it's late, but for doing all this shit. Do you feel more stable? It's so great. It's the greatest. Yeah, I mean, it's cliche, but I got it.

I'm not wearing a wire. And I know I have to say it because it's my kid and my wife. But yeah, it's just, you know, you can't, you know, life, you get to a point where you've, where you've kind of done, you've done being younger. And then so like, have like, doing having responsibilities, like adult responsibilities is kind of refreshing, especially when you're a comic because we're so about ourselves and so narcissistic and always trying to do things for us and uh it's nice to uh not to think about yourself third or second or third you know so that's it's a good thing because i mean it's it balances you out i think as a comic because

we're always thinking about ourself and that's, that can't be too good. It might balance out your act a little bit too, even just having anyone you're caring for, whatever, because when you stop thinking about yourself and get out of that, it's sort of like, then you just actually think about jokes or whatever the thing, like you're just not, it's not about like me and my career. You're just like, it just becomes like, you know, think of the jokes, do the thing. And you probably remove yourself from a little bit from it that can help too. That's a a great point i never thought of it that way but i think you're right yeah that makes a lot of sense i feel that for sure your ego out of the thing which can be probably positive fucking ego is the worst it's the fucking the the gift and the curse of humanity yeah definitely

what was it uh what's the new rogan studio like because uh that because i felt like you probably should have done that earlier but then but uh like you went in a like awesome episode and everyone loved it but was that what's the studio in austin like since you're going there i mean it's real funny because the old studio looks like it's in texas and the new studio looks like it's in la i mean the new just, it kind of looks like a fucking fancy sushi restaurant, you know? And, uh, Oh, you mean I've seen the studio obviously. Yeah. Yeah. I meant the, like the, is it a compound? I was just at Tim pools yesterday.

This guy's got a compound with like a half pipe and all that. It's one of those, the thing you're looking at the Patreon, like I kind of see the operation. You leave being like, right, these guys are, that's kind of cooler than what I've been doing. Come back to the bedroom in New York

and you go, you guys are fucking out piping his house. Yeah, but yeah, well, that's because, I mean,

that's because you live in New York. I mean, you go back, you know, you go back to fucking, uh, not to run,

not, not Canada because the taxes are too high, but you go, you go, you know, go to any other state. You'll live like a god.

No, I'm from Toronto. Toronto's expensive. Toronto's like the same as here at, but you go, you go, you know, go to any other state. You'll live like a God. No, I'm from Toronto. Toronto's expensive. Toronto's like the same as here at minus the exchange rate. But when the same thing, like I, my rent here, whatever, someone owns a huge house in the wherever the hell. Right. I don't know.

What's a good reference. Iowa. I was still in the places. Yeah. I think it's just maybe Matthew McConaughey is there. That's the only one. I think he's got a ranch there orughey is there. That's the only one. I think he's got a ranch there or something, Idaho or Iowa. But yet, no, it wasn't a compound.

It's not crazy. It's not crazy at all. It's kind of discreet. And yeah, I mean, he's just the coolest dude in the world, man. He's just like, you're just talking to a comic and he's so nice. He's like just a benign king kind of he's got you know obviously yeah he's he definitely is a he's uh he could make you you know and it's great that there's a comic that that does it and also what's great about him is he's not looking to do that like he's not

he just does what he wants like he has on who he wants when he wants there's no rhyme or reason to it like he just hit me up on Twitter. It was like, are you going to be in Austin? Of course. I was like, yeah. You know, I just answered yeah. I wasn't going to be like, oh no, I'm not actually. Actually, I have nine dates in Austin

and they're all flexible. I was like, I live there now. Whatever you want, I'll be there. But yeah, it's like the girl where she's like, are you going to be at the bar tonight? And you're like, yes. Yes. Yes, I will be.

It's funny when people critique him too because it's such a hollow critique because it's so obvious who he has on or whatever. It's like he has on who he wants to talk to. That's why he'll be like four MMA guys in a row, then one comedian, then one comedian he'll have on six times, then he'll have on some left-wing thinker, some right-wing think some right wing thing,

an astronaut, a bus driver. He just kind of, I feel like he does exactly the guests he wants that day. He's just like, I want to talk to this dude. And he just goes and he does it. And that's, so there's no, like, there's no like philosophy behind it. There's no like taste making behind it. It's just like, if he meets a chef, I bet you he's a dude who like he goes to wrestle you gotta be in my pocket because he he treats it the way it was made it was an organic thing he made in his house and it's still that thing like there's no booker

it's just him and jamie you walk in and do the fucking podcast the only difference is there's like millions of people listening but it's no different than what i'm doing right now with you i know it's it is and i, yeah, you were talking about criticism, even like guys there's, you know, and probably on a smaller scale, anyone like you gets it too, but some people will start to be like, Oh, this isn't as aggressive. You know, he's not doing as crazy stuff as it was before, or he's not saying he's watching. When he says more or whatever it is. And you go, I mean, if you're the,

if you're the biggest guy bringing on a bunch of people that say like wild shit, it's like that's how the ecosystem should work it's like you know it's like there is some degree of the age thing too it's like if you're you've been doing this forever and it's like you bring on the people that kind of have these interesting perspectives and let them say that i think that's you know kind of there's some there's like an honor in being that role in the ecosystem as well. Not that he doesn't have aggressive opinions or whatever. No, totally. I mean, that that's his thing. He's like a facilitator. I mean, he, he, he lets you talk. He has you like, there's nobody better. I don't, I don't know if there's anyone better or who could have that

range of discussions with that, that range of people. And care about them. Yeah. Yeah. And like, keep the conversation going or like, make a conversation with the astrophysicist kind of tolerable. You know what I mean? Those guys are not fucking born entertainers, you know? So it's like, it's a, it's a, it's a real skill and it's real. It seems real egoless because he makes it about them. Well, that's what I want to hear. I kind of look at it like the rap thing a little bit always when you go the guys that i don't like and it's and i don't know if i

like this guy or don't like this guy but obviously like i think eminem was cool but i i see there's certain people like that that they're 30 years into their career and their attitude is still like i'm the freaking best and these new guys don't know how to do it and then the people that i kind of think it looked good getting older or whatever they're like yo who's these new guys don't know how to do it. And then the people that I kind of think it looked good getting older or whatever, they're like, yo, who's these new guys?

You know, they'll bring them on and I'll be the legend that kind of interviews them. And I kind of always think that's like a better way to do it. And then it's like, Oh, why don't you do this? And it was like, you like,

even with like, I do this like on the street stuff or whatever. When I was 20, I used to go and just get kicked out of places and do this. And now it's a little different, but I would find the new guy. I like looking at the new 20 year old guys. to go and just get kicked out of places and do this and now it's a little different but I would find the new I like looking at the new 20 year old guys I go check this guy out this guy's freaking wild because I'm not 20 anymore right and then there's the right other version of what that looks like and then there's the 70 year old guy that kind of

comes out once every month and does his like you know with a one set and everyone's like oh this guy's back and there's there's such a like a graceful way to do and i think certain people just make like the right moves that seem classy that's the word that i'm looking for class act right yeah it's um it's called aging gracefully you know it's like it's what madonna's not doing is what you said yeah yeah they're trying to be on the new thing like oh that it's funny because yeah madonna was a perfect example we're talking about before where it's kind of there's uh she was very like she was kind of a modern feminist at the time and probably whatever

whatever you thought of her probably did a lot to push the ovalton window of what women could do or whatever but then now the whole thing's changed and she's just kind of doing her same old tricks that she was doing then without like any context of what it is. And now it's just, you know, you're you're like, oh, screw the man. And you agree with every single institution in the world. Yeah. And she's also still trying to look the same. And it's like, look, you're you know, it's not going to I mean, I get a little work maybe being done. But I mean, once you look like you're just constantly in a wind tunnel, it's a problem.

You know, everyone, everyone knows you're in your sixties. You can't, you got to embrace, you know, the change. Nobody lives forever. Yeah. You guys had a good philosophy when I was on the podcast. I'm sure you've said before, but it might be the Michael Jordan thing too, but you're like, I mean, Republicans buy tickets too. So who gives a shit? I'm not here to pick a side of, you know, I'm just trying to do comedy and the more the merrier.

Yeah. I mean, I, that's a, activist comedians always annoy me the most because it's like, you're pick, pick a, pick a lane, you know, pick a lane. Like you, are you, are you here to change the world? Are you here to, you know, be a comedian, which is always kind of make fun of people and check everyone. I mean, they're kind of like opposed a little bit because once you pick a side, you're not really a comic anymore. You're an advocate. You're, you know, it's a touchy thing. There's a thin line. It's like, you know, of course you can care about

things, have your opinions, you know, whatever, your personal opinions. But like the job description is not really to be an advocate or an activist. The job description is to go for laughs first or to be a rascal and piss people off and just keep, you know, throwing wrenches in what the dominant zeitgeist is to make sure that that zeitgeist is honest so yeah this whole kind of claptor shit it is not really comedy man it's like if you want to do that fine fucking you know you know because it's like if you want to do that go in the field that my generation before the internet if you want to be a journalist you had to go to iraq you couldn't just write about you could just write about iraq if you want to be a journalist you had to go to Iraq you couldn't just write about you couldn't just write about Iraq if you wanted to write about comedians like

if you were an open mic level journalist which the people who write about comedians make them that that's like the open mic of journalism like that's where you start out there's a lower shit it's like what's going on at the stand it's like let's send the fucking 22 year old idiot to go talk about fucking what what Dave Dave Smith's up to. So it's like, if you're going to, if you're going to write about that, you at least got to go into the club, right? You can't, I mean, nowadays people just write these scathing articles from their fucking underwear in the safety of their own home. They haven't spent one minute in the field and I'm supposed to take what they say as fact. It's like, go fuck yourself.

And I'm supposed to take what they say as fact. It's like, go fuck yourself. Yeah. You know what? There too, because the reason why I think too, when you talk about like the activism and comedy doesn't go well that good, it's because they have different things that make them good. Like activism doesn't, if you're want to be nuanced and like really get to the bottom of an issue, that's better for comedy.

But nuance actually hurts activism. Like no one's, you know, you're not going to get your cause more heard by being like, well, it's kind of complicated. get to the bottom of an issue that's better for comedy but nuance actually hurts activism like no one's you know you're not going to get your cause more heard by being like well it's kind of complicated like that's not how you that's how you start revolutions that's not how you get people kind of rallying behind you it's like simple phrases that you know kind of oversimplifications and right and how you know like uh the funny thing is never the right thing i mean the class clown wasn't funny because he said the right thing at the right time. He was funny because he said the wrong thing at the right time, you know, or, you know,

however you want to phrase it. It's like, yeah, that's your activism is kind of diametrically opposed to comedy. Comedy is about saying the wrong thing. You don't go, hey, you want to hear something hilarious? Racism's wrong. And everyone's like, yeah, yeah, it's like that. No, what's funny is going like, hey, let to hear something hilarious racism's wrong and everyone's like yeah yeah it is it's like that no what's funny is going like hey let me tell you how racism's great and it's like that's comedy you know and that's uh people understand that you're being ironic but at the same time you're keeping everything honest and being like are these anti-racist

people going a little too so you just it keeps everyone. You're a rascal always fucking mixing it up. We're rascals. We're fucking supposed to be rascals. Yeah. I couldn't agree more. I remember when Aaron Berg, this is like a few years ago, he was debating this like super. This next guy coming to the stage. Absolutely hilarious. This next guy, let me put, let me put my cigar down. This next guy coming to the stage, absolutely hilarious. That's a pretty good Berg, yeah.

Yeah, give it up for Paul Verzi, everybody. He did, he had this girl on, and I always, like, remember this line. He was like, you and your people are comedy ISIS, lady. And I was just like, that's so funny. Called her comedy ISIS on, like, a SiriusXM interview. Yeah, they're like good terrorists. They're there to like bomb. They fucking want you to bomb.

Hey, did you, when you started History Hyenas, were you really into history? Was that kind of like, that was the deal was that you don't know it that well? No, I love, I majored in it in college and like I go on, yeah, I go to go to museums i go to it's like one of my favorite things and chris one of his favorite things and hyenas was an animal i was just always obsessed with because of how unique it was and so we just organically kind of came up with those

two things and like let's do that and then uh we just thought it would be fun if we go to like history like at the beginning we were going like to museums and he would fart and we'd laugh and we'd talk about it. And we went on history tours. We'd go to like civil war battlefields and you know, I take a piss on sacred grounds and we talk about it. So it was stuff like that. And so no, it was our passion, but obviously we're not good at, we're not good historians. It seems like you are bad, but I just thought you posted,

you're like the Greeks were slave to Muslims for hundreds of years. Right. And I was like, well, that's true. Yeah. Yeah, that is true. Yeah. That is true. Yeah. The Ottomans, the Ottomans, uh, yeah, they conquered Greece. They conquered the Balkans. Like that's the reason why, um, some places are, you know, like, um, you know, uh, in Kosovo, they're Muslim, you know, but they used to be Christian. They were converted. A lot of places like that.

I think Croatians, too, maybe if I have that right. I may be wrong, but I'm pretty sure Albanians, a lot of them Muslim. Yeah, no, they conquered Greece for 400 years. So my grandfather was technically born a slave on what used to be a Greek island called Imbros. But when he was there, there was a Greek, they kicked all the Greeks out, but there was still like a persecuted Greek minority that lived there. But the Turks controlled that whole area. So, yeah, that's true. A lot of people don't know that because it's Islamophobic.

Do they, do the people like in Greek right now, do they bring that up? Like, is that a topic? Oh, they hate Turks. Like, yeah, Turks are like, the way black people hate white people and they have reason to is the way that Greeks hate Turks. It's just like, they, I mean,

it was, you know, it wasn't the same type of slavery that happened in America or the new world with the, you know, the middle passage type of slavery, but it was slavery. I mean, Greeks were second-class citizens and, you know, you can, the local sultans could do whatever they want to you. And they did. I mean, they raved, they did whatever they wanted. They controlled Greece.

It was ruled until we had Greek independence. We fought them and kicked them out, but it was 400, around 400 years of slavery. That's a lot. That's Danny has the, this joke where he talks about like, I guess it's Rosh Hashanah is where the Jews get like a bunch of white people get together and talk about how they were slaves 10,000 years ago. And they're like, never again. And he's like, yeah, I mean, no shit. Never again. White people in America. But yeah, they have a chip on their shoulder about it. What was your top topic that like that you were was your number one that for that you were interested in we had some classic episodes

um what i think the funnest one might have been one of the most recent was uh our bernie madoff in a uh episode it was so interesting to learn about that dude and how great a thief he was. I mean, he was like the goat of thieves, like just the way, I mean, to imagine he robbed from the most successful, shrewd, brilliant people. And like, they didn't suspect the thing. And he got away with it for like 50. I mean, so long. What kind of stuff did he do? Oh, dude, He was just like,

he was, he would go to every baseball game. This is what he was great at. He was so great. Like he's a con man, right? So con man, it comes from the word it's, it comes from confidence, man. So it's like, uh, yeah, it, it comes from a guy who used to walk in and he would go to rich people and he would be wearing like a three-piece suit. And he was like, I bet you you won't let me borrow your watch. And he would like challenge their ego and their confidence. And then they would give him the watch and he would disappear with their watch. So it's all confidence and it's all pretending to be the opposite you are. And Bernie Madoff was the best at making himself feel exclusive.

So he would turn a lot of people down. And so he created this vibe about him like in order to invest with Bernie Madoff. If you want to get conned by me, yeah. Yeah, if you want to be – it's amazing. He was stealing your money, but you were like – people were trying to – they were like trying to get in. He was like so else. And it was like, they were competing to have him steal their money. And cause he was like, he was like, had this reputation that he was the only guy who could give you this 1% return, this 1% return guaranteed, even in recessions. And because of this allure and

how nice he was, he went to, he remembered every birthday he called, he went to funerals. He spoke on the phone with you for 40 minutes. He went to dinner with you. And then to be able to keep the mathematics in your head with your accountant about, about the Ponzi scheme, because you're basically stealing from your richer clients who won't notice it to pay the lesser richer ones that might. It's like a brilliant mastermind thing that you, that he perpetuated for so long without them knowing he stole perfectly until just like one he stole so good people raise red flags like how's this guy providing one percent returns when the whole economy shit everyone's losing money

and no red flags if it wasn't for this one guy his name was more copolis who happened to be a greek who who just like hounded him and figured it out but everyone else was going he even he ingratiated himself to the committees to uh to all the the groups that were that watch for corruption he was like on all the boards like he his brilliance is so underappreciated and we really went into detail that episode was probably it was one of our last and it was probably our last like really good one um and uh that was fascinating to me to learn about how much he stole i love a good con man yeah that's great yeah he's great dude great um before i before i let you go oh you know what i actually i was gonna ask you one more thing but

so the austin thing you are moving to Austin potentially, but right now you're thinking you might kind of go back and forth? Yeah, to start out, I might just go and spend a lot of time there. That never lasts, though, right? You always say you're going to do that, and then you go to one place and you just stay wherever you like better, right? Right, right, right. It's just with the wife and the baby, I'll figure it out.

But, you know, I love what's going on down there, the scene. Is it great? It's great. It seems great. You and Tim were – yeah, it looked like you were having a ball. Yeah, I mean, it seems great. I mean, who knows? It looks like New York's going to take a little while to come back.

So, I mean – and the beautiful thing about the internet is you don't have to be in New York anymore. Yeah, you can go anywhere yeah yeah okay yeah because i we're going to miami for a month right now me and danny and we're fuck yeah we're just in the waters dude i mean it's a yeah not the best deal i'm i'm uh still paying my rent here and the whole thing's there's a lot of leakage in my system right now money wise but i'm kind of like you know yeah it's true i mean if if one of those places pops off like we're pretty mobile like there's nothing no strings holding me down so but you could yeah you could do it from anywhere you could do what you do from anywhere yeah the um the the last thing i want to say uh before you go is uh give me your thoughts on uh andrew cuomo and the situation

oh yeah that's great yeah cases are going up in new york right now are they oh dude i mean i mean oh yeah i meant his sexual assault charges yeah yeah he's getting killed he went to public enemy like that uh it's so funny it's so funny now and um it puts his brother in such a weird position i mean you know he was like i'm not comfortable yeah he. I mean, you know, he was like, I'm not covered. Yeah, he's gone. And I love it. He's like, I can't cover it because I love my brother. It's like you had no problem covering it when everyone loved it. Yeah, when you guys were fucking giggling.

That's how dishonest the media is now. You guys were fucking giggling. It was such a softball interview. They shouldn't have allowed it then. Now they're not going to allow it because of nepot it because it's like it should have been obvious back then that you shouldn't be interviewing your fucking brother who's the governor if you're a journalism but journalism in this country is really what's behind what's ripped this country apart and there's nobody to check them there's no consequences they can continue to lie they can continue to uh you know just fucking shit on your

reputation with no evidence no you know no no they can do whatever they want and no there's no because journalism is and then they go whoa free press free press it's like yeah dude but you can't yell fire in a fucking crowded movie theater so there should if there should be like funds where you could sue them for free like if you have a case oh there should be like funds where you could sue them for free. Like if you have a case, there should be like a government fund where you're like, I want to fucking sue. Sounds like some Peter Keel can start. Yeah, it's got to be some consequences. Like you can't just say whatever about anybody. You can't do that.

You can't just fucking do that. And the only recourse people have is suing. So people got to fucking start suing. The problem is suing when you're not the Washington Post or the New York Times, you can't afford to sue them. So it's like, there's gotta be, you know, there needs to be some sort of fairness doctrine that used to be that the FCC had, or there has to be some consequences, some like legal standard for truth. That doesn't mean like, Hey, you can't say lies or editorialize, but it's gotta be called an editorial. If you're, if you're writing an article

you can't you can't just be like a not accredited journalist just kind of like this is what you're like what's your research you there has to be consequences to that if you say if you're if you're purporting to be an objective journalist there has to be consequences if you do if you editorialize and it used to be it used to be like an editorial section and this and they were separated so you knew and now it's like everyone's a fucking everyone's you know editorializing everybody's doing fiction because it sells better it might be sort of the the solutions that way too where you go you know you're saying like how can we fix this and you're like no let this fucking shit die and that, that is the news

is all fractured off, but yeah, maybe there's a benefit of having a actual news station that doesn't lie. I mean, look, I mean, the mafia is gone, but you got to admit like the mafia, not being a lot of problems. Cause there's, I mean, there's just some people that, you know, the mafia would just put them in a ditch and they would send a message and people wouldn't do it. There's some people who just need to be put in a dirt tub. You got to just put them in a fucking dirt tub and give them a little bit of a fucking bubble bath, but you can't do that anymore. But, you know, there was some positives to that

too. I mean, you know, it stopped these fucking maniacs who, you know, trying to ruin people's families and careers and shit like that without any fucking, you know, it's like you can't do that unless you have evidence, hard evidence. You can't do that. Even if you think a guy's a dirtbag or a girl's a dirtbag, you can't just write a full fucking article with the weight of a whole newspaper

and their history behind you just because somebody said something. It's like you got – this goes back to the thing. It's like get in the field. Do some homework. Like you're just writing this from your house on your computer? Yeah. Fuck that, you know? Yeah. That would be great

if some of these silicon valley guys because they're always out there you know we're fighting the culture war it's like okay we'll fight it with a billion dollar fund to sue journalists for people that were defamed how about that instead of doing another appearance on you know whatever like that's a great idea yeah that's that's a great idea awesome dude okay thank you for uh coming on man much appreciated yanni long days is the new podcast and i saw right out of the gate you had huge numbers so it was already popping off dude awesome thank you yeah it's called it's yanni long days but the podcast is called long days with yannis yeah either long days with yannis pappas Just Google it or find it on iTunes.

Or the YouTube channel. You can watch it on the YouTube. Yeah. Where are you going next live days? I'm going to Dallas. Soul Joel in Royersford that we're all doing. It's my good old friend Soul Joel. I'm so happy for him.

He's got a comedy club there. And he's been killing it this pandemic with the heated dome. So I'll be there March 3rd. New Brunswick was awesome. I did the Stress Factory oh yeah he does it right it was the first time i did one of those that was actually heated the other heated domes were igloos i was freezing to death yeah no vinnie does it right so yeah i'm at uh royersford pa at soul joe's march 13th um and then um yeah on march 20th, I'm in Gotham. I'm doing a virtual live comedy event. So you can get tickets for Gotham, limited capacity,

but then you can watch, you can buy tickets and watch from anywhere in the world. I'm doing all my characters. Like, I don't know if I'm gonna dress up. Do I check it out? Oh, you're gonna do the whole, yeah. That's a better way to do a Zoom thing. Like if you're doing a virtual thing,

that is probably a better thing to do because the standup thing virtual is a little tough. Totally. And you can get tickets on yannispappascomedy.com and then Dallas in April and Sidesplitters in September. And I'm adding dates now and I'm going to go bug chase and see if I can get that Brazilian strand of COVID. I honestly – that's good to hear that you're not like because I a little bit was feeling like I moved to New York and then I was like oh everyone here is really cool and then you guys are like all leaving it's like okay some people are kind of not all leaving and I'm like am I crazy so

okay Giannis thank you very much brother thanks Ryan thanks for having me