The Boyscast with Ryan Long - #83 Women are Better Street Sweepers
Episode Date: September 10, 2021A Comedy Show Fight, Boyfriends Girlfriend likes Trump, Talibans all male government, Gavin Neusome says women rule, white lotus, Abortion, Feminist Reddit vs Mgtow, Her Husband was Cheating with a Ma...n. Extra Episode Every Week at http://patreon.com/theboyscast SUPPORT THE SPONSORS AT http://keeps.com/boyscast http://bollandbranch.com promocode: boyscast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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And you can tell our friends, and they can have my things when we're dead
But we don't have forever, but we don't have forever
It's time!
It's time!
What time is it?
Boys time!
What time is it?
Boys, what's that from?
Girls time?
It's first an announcement
I'm gonna put some ceremonial music here
Cause this is a big deal.
Announcing officially the recording.
The music will be added in post.
Do it live.
Do it live!
The music will be added in post.
The Stand, October 21st, recording my third comedy special in New York.
The tickets will sell out.
I put them on the Patreon first, but they are available now.
Tickets available.
And also, warming up for those shows,
there'll be dates in Plano, Austin, Bloomington, MN, Chicago,
and a couple other one-nighters.
So, if you want to be there, be part of fucking history.
Yo, we taking over.
You know what I mean?
We doing this.
People want to say, everyone said, I was going to make a video.
Actually, I might do it today.
Everyone told us that, you know, I couldn't do a special.
All the guidance counselors, they said, you can't make a third special in New York City.
That's like, you know what that reminds me of?
Remember back in the HBO special days, everyone used to put a little sketch at the beginning?
Yeah.
And it would be like, the sketch would be like, at your guidance,
do the actual sketch. Because nobody,
I actually like that. The sketch is coming out tomorrow, so everyone
right now will have already
heard the sketch. So this is
a reverse
pre-commentary to the
sketch. I was saying put it in front of the actual special
like a la the old school. Well, I'm not
going to do that. Well, you can put it at the end.
You know what's funny?
The funny part is, well, now I'm for sure doing it.
And the funniest part is because this is coming out Friday and we're filming a little earlier.
So everyone listening to this podcast right now has already seen it and are laughing at you.
Being this fucking dumb jerk.
Fucking idiot.
He's not even listening.
Ryan's telling him it's coming out Thursday.
And he's like, well, maybe it goes in the special. We already saw it. You can put it in the special. Everyone's not even listening. Ryan's telling him it's coming out Thursday and he's like, but maybe it goes in the special.
We already saw it.
You could put it in the special too.
Everyone's seen it.
But what about people on the internet?
He's having trouble with that.
He's having trouble
with those kind of complicated
time situations.
Yeah, it's literally
in a time machine.
So,
this is what people don't realize
how dangerous comedy is.
So, I'm at the
Grizzly Pear Comedy club and this is a thing
people just think you know we go out there record the specials la-di-da it's a battleground yeah
in new york city i told you this right what the fight oh yeah so i'm in fucking the grizzly pear
we're at the show some comics on stage doing fine.
Guy in the audience stands up.
He has something to say,
you know,
more of Ryan,
some shit like that.
I can't remember exactly what he said.
We need more.
He starts complaining.
Someone else in the show walks up to this guy.
He's like,
you better get out of here,
you know?
And then the guy's like,
I'm not going anywhere.
He grabs his chair and the guy tried to take him and then he's like a grown man he grabs
his chair so he can't be taken out and the other guy fucking decks him yeah um punches the guy
like a few times his face is like a bloody so blood explodes you know when someone gets punched in their face like explodes
yeah yeah cops show up they're fucking literally uh i would just walked into i go i was walking
by and i was i did like five shows that night and i walked by i was like i'm gonna try to grab a
spot of the pair mate pandemonium immediately the fucking guy runs it comes out to me goes
ah can you take over hosting for a
couple seconds you know it's like that right 15 cops show up they start interviewing people like
who did this the whole thing so and then uh you know the everyone involved run but the guy who
was like a grown man he kind of looked hawaiian or something like that big he had like a ponytail
looked like that type of samoan okay or her. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.
His face is so bloody.
He's dripping blood.
His cover shirts covered him up.
And he's standing in front of the grizzly pear,
like describing the guy being like,
he looked like this and this and this,
they're trying to find him.
And it was like the audience.
So I go up,
the guy goes,
Hey,
can you take over hosting?
I go up the audience and I just did 10 minutes of telling them that the
paddy wagons waiting for them. And them they're gonna have to give their statements like
i'm saying you know we're gonna do finish the rest of the show even gabe was like dude i just
literally said go introduce the next comic yeah i'm on stage for 15 minutes i go i go you know
honestly and everyone having a good time then it's good that uh we are gonna finish the show
which will be fun for you guys to have another 20 minutes of entertainment because after this,
you will have to all go to the station,
give your statements one by one.
You've been assured
that it's only going to take 10 to 15 hours,
so you'll probably be back home by the morning
if it's going on or not.
Make sure not to rat.
Yeah, I know.
Everyone there was like,
do we actually have to go to the station?
And I came back.
I know it sounds tough.
Well, it's really tourists, too.
There's probably tourists, so they're like, is this customary here where to go to the station and i came back i know it's really tourists too there's probably like tourists so they're like is this customary here where we go to the lot of
tourists there yeah but so we got and what i ended up having just nothing i'm not to be honest i
don't think i want to comment on this too much for sure you don't want to fucking i think ryan
don't want to turn informer and farmer that's there was there There was a big thing of who's going to turn informer.
For sure.
Imagine Ryan shows up.
I want to go on record and say I don't know who did it.
Yeah, no idea.
It's a bit of a whodunit.
But also I want to comment, as everyone always makes me laugh,
because I have a stupid voice.
Yeah.
Whenever I do anything and also i i did
that video the the covid video which the point of it was that i was singing bad yeah let me do
but the um the amount of comments that are like maybe stick to comedy you know they ever yeah
like you were like they were just like oh cool ryan's taking a foray into music yeah so but
every it's so funny to me because everyone always, it's the same thing when
I used to do karaoke.
I remember doing karaoke and I'd always be bombing.
I remember on, on a vacation once and I was hitting out all star and I was pretty nailing
it.
So, but he was dumb.
And then every, everyone there was, uh, they'd go on after and then, and I will, you know, karaoke people.
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
You have the regulars.
Every time you're doing karaoke, there's six people looking at you like, he doesn't even
know what I'm about to do.
Just cracking their knuckles.
He doesn't even know what I'm about to do right now.
Unleash on the world.
When it starts to get breathyhy you know they fucking take karaoke seriously
that's a that's a big one they like they get very breathy and then they leave little pauses
in between a lot of that so i'm always bombing and everyone's looking at me like oh yeah yeah
yeah that's fun that you do that and i was like i have literally at the when this was happening at the smash mouth day i was
like i was like i mean i have the 18th biggest song in the country right now
i sold 100,000 albums excuse me excuse me yeah yeah so many people uh oh
ryan he says don't quit your day job and try to sing.
I go, pal.
That's so funny, though.
The people are just like, oh, cool.
Ryan's getting into singing.
Yeah.
That's like the takeaway.
They go, hmm.
Everyone thinks I'm so bad at singing.
But OK, there's one thing that I found.
We're going to go into it as we go.
But I did a deep dive on a lot of Reddit stuff.
Someone sent me one article, and I got fucking deep.
Oh, yeah.
This was the first one.
I went into this Reddit.
Reddit polyamory is wild.
And so the first article, this guy, and he's having essentially a problem that we predicted in the video.
His wife's boyfriend likes fucking Trump, which to me, in the video his wife's boyfriend likes fucking trump
which to me i hate when my wife's boyfriend likes trump my wife's boyfriend every time my girlfriend's
boyfriend likes trump he says my wife and i are new her first boyfriend seems like a nice guy
they've known each other for a long time so So he's fine with the first boyfriend. Fine with the first boyfriend. Good dude. First boyfriend.
Really, really railed his girl well.
He had no problem with this guy.
And if anything, they were boys.
Yeah, they were boys.
You know, they have a schedule and stuff like that.
But that's where things got off the rails, he says.
But our daughter is bisexual, which you would imagine.
Sure, of course.
And this guy votes for people who would actively harm them.
My wife isn't thrilled about it either. So his wife's not thrilled about the new ex-boyfriend liking Trump. which you would imagine. Sure. But this, and this guy votes for people who would actively harm them.
My wife isn't thrilled about it either.
So his wife's not thrilled about the new ex-boyfriend liking Trump either.
It makes it hard for me to be supportive when she's chatting with other new guys from apps.
I'm usually excited to see how it's going.
So he's like,
he's like a fucking online dating cuck.
Like he's just like,
how's the,
how's the chat going?
Yeah.
He's,
you know, he's on the bed with his hands up.
So what did he say? What did he say?
Tell me more.
Tell me more.
Like, who did he vote for?
It's Trump.
Yeah, she's on the bed talking to the guy with the, you know,
she's got a headset on talking to the guy.
And then he's there looking over the thing like how and then just her face goes flat so what does he look like race and
they go he's a white guy go okay okay i mean that's yeah i mean you know he says
this could be okay i mean whatever at least he's a democrat so that's fine
he's from Florida
oh
and she says
looking
once the pandemic's over he's looking
forward to her going on dates
once we're out of the pandemic
but the other guy he has zero
respect for
can any others share similar scenarios so this
is the kind of stuff that's going on on reddit but the other guy they all think it's like a
safe space for their weird shit right yeah this is the the funny part is the the you're watching
a guy bang your wife and like getting her ready for the day. And then you're like, I have zero respect for this guy.
The only thing I have respect for
is how you rail my wife.
I just got to say something.
This guy,
I have my girlfriend's boyfriend.
I just want to go to the limb and say,
I don't have that much respect for him.
No, not.
I had a lot of respect
until I found out who he voted for.
Well, that's what happens.
The problem is the girl comes back and he's like, okay, peg me.
And she goes, I was talking to Jimbo and he doesn't want us to do that.
He's sort of got me thinking I don't want to do that anymore.
I go, I'm starting to lose respect for this guy.
When he sees this guy, it's like a hello Newman situation.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, hi.
They just cross paths as they're just swapping, girl.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Swapping, like tagging out.
Hello, Jimbo.
Imagine when this guy is fucking,
the guy pulls up with his mega hat to pick his wife up
and his truck.
Oh, what a bummer, man.
He has the truck.
You think he has the truck nuts?
You think he's got the truck nuts hanging? He goes, oh. It has the truck. You think he has the truck nuts? I think he's got the truck nuts hanging.
He goes, oh, it's fucking truck nuts.
How much dangling.
How much would this guy hate?
His wife just getting picked up by a guy with balls on the back of his truck.
Bull balls.
Bull balls.
That's so funny.
But anyways, that's the kind of stuff going on.
But we have bigger problems than that even,iel what what are the problems that we have well it pains me to say this
but the taliban formed an all-male afghanistan government what do you mean all male no you heard
me right like all men yes i know what you're thinking no they didn't not our taliban well
i just want to say.
Like the Taliban Taliban?
Yeah, that is correct, according to CP24.
Ugh, at least they're not all white men.
Are they white?
That's the only redeeming factor.
At least it's not all white male.
I do want to say that I do want to give props to the Taliban to have some diversity.
100% POC.
They're 100% marginalized POC, but male.
According to this thing, he appointed to key posts of interior minister was Sarajuddin Harakini,
who was on the FBI's most wanted list for a $5 million bounty on his head,
and he's believed to still be holding at least one American hostage.
Oh.
But he's not white, though.
Cancel culture doesn't go as hard over there.
No, no, no.
Here we go.
Let me ask you a question.
Do you have any hostages?
No.
No.
It's like you can't even fucking take an American hostage anymore
without someone on the internet just coming for your job, huh?
Dude, all-male government, first of all, right out of the gate,
is not going to be a collaborative environment, that's for sure.
No.
No, what about, like, you know know women's uh rights like abortion laws all that stuff where men it's
gonna be a bunch of people grabbing their fucking balls is what the taliban government's gonna be
bunch of dudes in pajamas grabbing their balls only benefit is workplace harassment's gonna be
down sick days do you think they have to hire somebody to bring in to harass or like how does
it work are these do they harass the most like effeminate guy yeah yeah that must be hard being like enough because you know there must be
some guy who's like just by default is the most effeminate guy in the taliban like everybody's
like oh fucking sally over here yeah he's like i'm not bro i'm not gay i'm hey our pick slapping
his ass and shit like that. The new foreign minister,
another prominent figure from the Taliban's last time in power,
faces a difficult task.
Give the cabinet's lack of diversity.
I'm going to stop reading because I'm fucking fuming.
What do you mean?
It's super diverse.
It's literally all POCs.
They changed what their diverse means.
Disagree.
Disagree with you, CP24.
Well, that's the thing.
They're trying to push the narrative now that apparently women is more diverse than the taliban nothing's more diverse
than the taliban i for one blame white supremacy do you think that the talibans ever mad you know
other places are mad that white supremacy gets so much credit because like in afghanistan well
if you think about how many white supremacists there are in america a pretty small amount right and then you know they all see all this stuff and they're they go you know all of
uh all these uh uh racist from uh all these indian dudes killing stuff and then all these like
liberals like white supremacy strikes again and then they're just like like i beheaded seven
people yesterday and then there's a guy oh there's a guy in the middle of a field being like,
you know, we don't even have to work
anymore. He doesn't even leave
his chair. He goes, you know,
we've done enough. We've set the groundwork.
You know what it is? Like, they build
like, you know, those football
throwing machines or like the
batting cages. You go, we got this machine that just
throws the rocks for us now. It's on an
auto feed. It's like, we don't really do anything it's just chill does all the stoning for us stoning
machine geez it's all automatic they have uh okay well to cleanse the palate well anyways i would
just like to go on record as saying not a fan of this new taliban of this non-inclusive i'm gonna
cleanse your palate and make you feel better.
This is what a real politician sounds like.
Women are smarter in politics, smarter in civics.
They're smarter in economics.
Women rule.
Man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Turn on the TV, Larry.
Larry Elder.
Ever heard of C-SPAN?
What a bird.
He doesn't even believe there's a glass ceiling.
Elder doesn't believe there's a glass ceiling.
He actually said this.
You can't even make this up.
He said, it's right, he said, for employers to discriminate against women.
He said, employers have the right to inquire about an employee's reproductive future
because they're just, quote unquote, protecting their investment.
Boo!
What is this, the Taliban's new leader?
This guy's pretty good.
They don't even believe in the women of people. I love you turned him into ronnie dangerfield
oh they don't believe the women of people
hey larry elder you you turkey you don't think women are women are better than men? This Larry Elder, he doesn't even think that women can run 40 feet in the air.
Women are sick.
Women rule.
Women do rule.
I want to go farther.
He goes, oh, yeah?
You think that that's the only thing that women beat men at?
Women are smarter scientists.
Women are better at strongman competitions.
I mean, literally every Nobel Prize winner ever has been a woman. That's a fact. They're better at strongman competitions. I mean, literally every Nobel Prize winner ever
has been a woman. That's a fact.
They're better at winning Nobel Prizes.
They are. They're better at opening jars than men.
My favorite
NBA basketball player of all time?
Woman. My favorite baseball player of all time?
Woman. Favorite football player? Woman.
My favorite men's hockey
player is a woman. They're better at
opening jars. They are better at saving puppies
The great one
Hayley Wickenheiser
Hayley Wickenheiser
Is that his wife's new name?
No no no
I thought you knew
Maiden Gretzky's
Daughter's new name
Oh no no no
I know
What's his name?
No the Hayley Wickenheiser
Is the Olympic Canadian
I thought you were calling
It's just like in Canada Because she's so decorated And everybody's like Yeah two best hockey players No, the Hayley Wickenheiser is the Olympic Canadian. Oh, I thought you were calling the great-grandma
Wayne Gretzky's daughter.
Because she's so decorated and everybody's like,
yeah, two best hockey players ever,
Wayne Gretzky, Hayley Wickenheiser.
And you're like, I think somebody else is second.
They have better eyesight than men.
They tell better stories than men.
They smell better.
It's funny because he was talking about the, you know,
girls, they shouldn't be able to ask if you're pregnant.
But you can usually tell.
But the bottom line is it's a scam.
Yeah.
Like if you're a woman and you're eight months pregnant, you start a job.
You host the guy.
For sure.
Also, there's a real way around this is you can't ask a woman if she's pregnant, but you can ask her if she's fat.
Yeah, that's the thing.
Or you go, yeah, are you fat?
And then she'll be like, no, I'm pregnant.
And then, well, I'm solved.
That's the scam.
That's the scam.
There's always a way around these things.
Let me ask you a question.
Are you fat?
No, I'm pregnant.
No.
That's the new boss.
Because that's what you do.
Because then women's just like, she'd be like offended.
And she's like, I'm not fat.
Are you pregnant?
Oh okay yeah we can't hire you And if she says she is fat then you go oh good
I'm so mad at you and you go what if I give you a job
Well in addition
To sticking it to the Taliban
The city council
Of Melbourne
Is also in accordance
With Newsom In being part of the solution because they
have said that they have banned men from being street sweepers because women are better street
sweepers than men.
I can see women being better.
I feel like if you say that, it's like you're like the sexist.
Yeah.
Why is it sexist?
Women are better at cleaning.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I know. It is so funny. sexist yeah why is it sexist women are better at cleaning oh yeah yeah i know i was thinking
it is so funny than being like you're like yo women are better at cleaning we need to give
you more cleaning jobs they're like excuse us this is has gone full circle where for inclusivity
all cleaning jobs will be women i am opening up of a mopping business i'm yeah yeah i am opening up a
floor scrubbing with a sponge business and for inclusivity purposes only women and you go a guy
comes in there he goes this is a woman's job and they're just like it feels like you're doing this
exactly you're like wait i'm pretty sure you frame this slightly differently you're a piece of shit
just a slight change in the framing i'm opening up a cooking cleaning business yeah totally
it's like the everybody's like women belong in the kitchen and then women are like we don't just
belong in the kitchen and then women are like we don't get enough kitchen jobs you're like okay you want to go back in the kitchen they go yes yeah but we don't just belong in the kitchen. And then women are like, we don't get enough kitchen jobs. You're like, okay, you want to go back in the kitchen?
They go, yes.
Yeah.
But we don't belong there.
We want to be.
My new business is called Ryan's Cookers and Cleaners.
And I'm announcing right now that I will only be hiring women
because women are better at slaving in a kitchen than men.
Women are better at doing laundry than men.
Yes, facts.
I'm opening up a cooking, cleaning, and laundry business.
And chatting.
But we only hire diverse women.
Yeah.
And I'm only hiring women
because women are better at doing my laundry than men.
There will be a thing, too, where someone's like,
we only hire diverse women
who are
of a questionable uh like you know legal standing in the country like they're basically you know
just the most vulnerable you're like wait so you're just like hiring illegal aliens to clean
stuff for diversity's sake i will only be hiring undocumented undocumented minority women.
Yeah.
Because women.
Because we care.
Are better.
I'm opening up a business that cleans shoes with toothbrushes.
My shoes with toothbrushes.
And I will only be hiring minority women.
Minority women.
And sometimes, just for fun, we'll hire men just to fire them.
And I'm hiring an ironing business because women are better at ironing than men.
You ever open up your eyes, Larry Elder, you'd see that.
If Larry Elder could open up his fucking white supremacist eyes for two seconds,
you would see that women are better at cooking my meals while I yell at them than men.
Throwing an empty wine glass at the wall when my food's cold.
Much better.
Women are better at rubbing, tugging than men.
That's why they get all the jobs.
That's why they get all those good jobs.
Open up your fucking eyes, Larry.
It's the condescending you know the upper east side
condescending laugh.
You don't even know.
If Larry
held her to anything
he wouldn't know.
Then women are better at concrete mixing
than men. I wonder if fucking
Newsom's wife just rolls
her eyes at this shit at this point.
No she that's what happens.
He goes, he goes, yeah, we're going to come in.
If, if you wouldn't mind cleaning up a little bit, he goes,
women are better at cleaning our house than men.
Women are better at making my bed than men.
Take that.
Women are the best.
And they said, the council said it was a progressive leader
and it is passionate about social inclusion.
The type of inclusion that says if you're a man,
you will never clean a street in this fucking town again.
Yeah.
It's actually interesting.
I saw,
I can't remember what news network,
but one news network,
they just announced that they're more than,
they've crossed the threshold into, they're more 50 women on air now like they've crossed over
we're more than 50 women are better at tv women are better at news and broadcasting
news than men but that's the thing is their goal was they go okay we want 50 that's what and then
they got over it so now they got to be like just whistling me like well nothing to see here nothing to see here just the news
network doing that because then they're gonna go with the whole because then someone will be like
hey like some guy is invariably gonna complain be like hey like so you guys wanted 50 50 now it's
60 40 for women so could we start clawing back some of you? And they're going to be like, well, no,
because we were talking about 50% of all of them in the world.
In the world.
So we're doing our little...
Yeah.
Afghanistan's really fucking us over on this stuff
because they're going to get counted towards the total aggregate.
Right?
The Afghanistan broadcasters?
Yeah, they have good...
ABC, Afghanistan Broadcasting Corporation.
That's some bullshit.
The other ABC.
Some new jobs did open up for the boys though.
So if you live in the Texas area,
you had an idea for one,
but I had a different idea for one.
There's a new ban
where you're allowed to snitch on people
that anyone who gets near an abortion.
Anywhere near an abortion,
which,
so we,
if you've been following the podcast,
we took some losses in um this uh stock tops baseball card company a few weeks ago and so we're
looking to recoup it and what i'm thinking we do is so this new abortion ban basically you can sue
you don't even have to be in texas but you can sue anybody from texas who has an abortion after
six weeks and this is on the books as of today,
right? Anybody who helps them. So like the Uber driver, maybe if the person who fills up the gas
at the gas station on the way to the abortion, anybody who works at the abortion, the landlord
of the building, you could just, it is open season. You get $10,000 every time you win one
of these cases so we're gonna
make this money back by just frivolously suing anybody involved in the abortion salino and parnes
salino and parnes well so we have two where there's two options option one yeah is we go with
uh dog we go dog the abortion hunter the abortion i'm already working on getting the fucking mullet wig that's well i don't even yeah
i feel like i kind of could pull that guy off a little bit no you have to be his fat wife
fat gross wife the best is the south park when carmen is the fat yeah i love that when anyone
has like a really fat gross wife, just joking around saying,
when you're just doing it nonchalantly,
like, okay, so James is going to be there.
Will his fat, gross wife be in attendance?
Like, who's coming tonight?
It was me, Danny, Brad, Daryl,
his fat, gross wife, Tommy.
You know, just the usual group.
Just really fucking nonchalant.
The Fat Grows type.
But you play Bounty Hunters, Fat Grows.
Yeah.
And then I'll be Bounty Hunters.
Yeah.
Get on the ground!
They go, what is it?
You know, let me ask you a question.
Did you sell Gatorade to a woman after her abortion?
On the way to her abortion? Did she tell you that she needed to be hydrated a little bit?
Because you can't do an abortion dehydrated.
Do you think there is going to be...
Well, no, because this law is not going to last, right?
Well, but they need to go to the Supreme Court and all this stuff.
So you said you got to know the scoop on this.
How does it work?
It's the craziest thing.
One of the craziest things ever.
So essentially in Texas, they passed this law where
you like they didn't want to essentially the the state meddling in preventing people from abortion
so what they're saying is like look we're not doing anything we're not stopping you from getting
an abortion however what we have done and i guess like it's some weird constitutional loophole is if you get an abortion after six weeks any person in the united states
can sue you civilly so it's not criminal it's just civilly sue you for i for up to ten thousand
dollars or at least ten thousand dollars but okay so this is what i don't get you're telling me that
i go okay so let's say someone got an abort now you're okay you're the uber driver okay let's say
you're the uber driver yes you're getting sued so let's say you're the Uber driver you're getting sued
so let's say
we're driving someone
to an abortion
and you have
$10,000
is it first come
first serve
what if
100 people sue him
can anyone sue him
I don't know
that's what I'm asking
it doesn't make any sense
I'm telling you
I agree
it's crazy
but yes
it's like
well then
obviously
if you sued the girl
you could sue
20 people
20 different people that I get but what doesn multiple people could sue you. If you sued the girl. You could sue 20 people, 20 different people.
Okay, that I get.
Yeah.
But what doesn't make sense to me is if you sued someone and got money,
well, why wouldn't I just sue them now?
You might be, well, you wouldn't know.
You have to know that this person got an abortion that was like, right?
What do you mean?
But you sued them and it's a court case now.
Yeah, I get it.
So you could literally come up to me and you go,
just sued this girl, got $100,000.
Honestly, it's such a stupid-
So why couldn't someone else sue her then?
It's such a stupid law.
None of this is going to hold up.
I agree it's not going to hold up.
I'm just saying that's what the current law is.
Well, it doesn't make any sense because it's like-
Yeah, for sure.
So anyone that helped anyone in an abortion, you could bankrupt them by anyone suing them.
Yeah.
And the craziest part is you don't even need to live in Texas.
You don't need to live in Texas to do the suing.
Well, it's just one of those things that, you know how many, there's so many laws where
they just, you know, when they say, oh, we're not gonna
enforce this or whatever. Like,
no judge is, I don't know, it just seems
like, obviously, this
isn't going to happen.
Well, I think, well, first off, eventually it will
go through the Supreme Court. Is this one of those things where it's just saying
fuck you liberals?
Is that kind of what the idea here is?
I think it's a part of it.
I think another way is it really is going to open up a debate around abortion again,
because they have this new loophole.
So I think it's going to go to the Supreme Court, and it will eventually get thrown out.
But it'll take time.
But the problem is, in the meantime, because legal processes take time, in that period,
they're just going to basically open it up for people though just like no one's getting any money from this
if anyone he thinks what you think you're going to be the lawyer like you know in tow trucks when
there's a crash and they all that is what it's going to be so you think the lawyers are going
to show up yeah someone has an abortion and then there's going to be dude there's going to be like
private investigators who are kind of like not that busy right now.
Yeah.
They're just going to be like abortion about it.
Yeah.
There'll be dudes who are like straight up just like knocking girls up on purpose and then just trying to distract them for six weeks.
And then after six weeks, be like, oh, you need an abortion.
And then I know a guy.
Cha-ching.
Baby's gone.
I'm rich.
And then you tell all the boys.
You see this girl
she's got a rich dad
we can fucking tweet him
it's insane
it is one of the
it's not happening
I agree
but it's just like
one of those things
where you read it
and go like
this is
whoever thought this up
like is crazy
I guess they didn't
yeah I guess
they've
removed something else
that made this
I remember
I got in a fucking
car accident
once in Toronto and the two tow truck drivers showed up and got in a fucking car accident once in Toronto.
Yeah.
And the two tow truck drivers showed up and got in a fist fight.
Over who got the car?
Yeah.
We got in our van.
It was the band van.
We got in a big fucking crash.
And the one guy goes, you know, this is mine, this is mine.
It's two Indian dudes.
The one guy pushes the other guy.
They punch each other.
They get in this big fist fight.
And then we're just there at the van being like,
okay, but we need to be told if you guys can sort this out.
And apparently that's pretty common.
Yeah.
Well, that's the thing is on the highways,
they always wait out.
Because if you want to call one,
sometimes it'll take an hour,
but you can just have one show up in five minutes.
Do you know how they do shout my abortion for the girls?
It'll be like, you know,
how it turned into a big like
feminism thing yeah like you know the shirt that says show my abortion yeah you're having like
abortion parties and stuff it's literally like a badge of honor to have an abortion gotcha but
i think i was thinking it was making me laugh the idea of like the male saying that you're
being progressive but you doing a shout your abortion. Like, yeah, I got 45 girls to have abortions.
And I'm shouting it!
And I'm proud of everyone!
I'm at the top of the mountain!
But like, it's just such,
like you're busy Tucker Max.
Be like, the girls are all there like,
I had an abortion, I had an abortion.
It's like, I caused 30 abortions!
I solidarity, ladies!
I did it myself.
I had sex with 45 girls.
No condoms.
Most of the girls wanted to keep the baby,
but I went there and I talked them out of it.
Poking them.
She's like, I poked the holes in the condom
just to get them pregnant,
just so they could know that they're strong enough
to have an abortion.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just wanted them.
Women think they're just not strong enough to have an abortion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just wanted them. Women think they're just not strong enough to have an abortion.
They wanted to have the kids.
But I, as a master negotiator.
And I wasn't impregnating 20-year-olds.
He's like, I'm literally knocking up cougars.
This is their last shot.
Their last shot.
And I'm still convincing them to be brave enough.
I'm screaming it from the top of the mountain.
It's just bravery, really.
Like, if you're 40 years old, never had a kid, and you have an abortion, that's fucking bravery.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's no question.
She's so brave.
She probably thinks this song is about her.
She's so brave. She probably thinks this song is about her but and it is she's right she's right
because she's fucking so brave i am screaming my that's so funny though you know knocking up like
some chick while you're like you have a girlfriend like you're like you know the classic like you're
some politician and you get a bunch of chicks pregnant cheating on your wife.
And then you convince, you pay them all off to get abortions, and then you yell that at the top of your lungs.
I think it's funny.
I convinced three of my affairs to have abortions.
It would be funny if you're one of these guys who's trying to, like, sue chicks or whatever, but you're knocking them up.
And every time you come, you go, ka-ching.
She's like, did you just say ka-ching? And go it's just like something i say when i come it's
don't worry about it unrelated did you say ka-ching i am a strong man who's convinced 95
girls that i cheated on my wife with to have abortions tell you who's gonna be busy as fuck
gloria all red because she's gonna be taking all these abortion cases pro bono probably where all these chicks are getting sued
gloria all right it's got to cover them all how funny is it to be the girl then like some high
end politician convinced you to have abortion he goes you know the the basketball thing when he
offered her money he offers her 10 you know ten thousand. She takes the deal and reads in the paper the next day some other girl being like,
that dude just gave me $20,000.
No!
You find out.
I'm loving a guy at the top of a mountain like, ladies, right?
Abortion.
Scream.
Our abortion.
Abortion.
This is not what we meant.
Anyways. Women are brave.
That's all that matters.
The only thing we know is women are
better at street cleaning. Women are
braver. They're better soldiers in the
army. They're better at making my bed.
They're better at cleaning
the bedpans. We will be only cleaning
we are only hiring
female bedpan cleaners
at the old age home. Because women are better at cleaning up shit than men.
You know what?
If women ran the country, there wouldn't have been a 9-11.
It would have happened on 9-10.
Why is that?
Because it just would have happened.
They're better.
It would have happened earlier.
Oh, it would have happened.
Wouldn't it?
I see.
Okay.
They're better.
They're better.
I think it would have been three towers if it was women in the Taliban.
That's the fucking thing They could
They probably would have
They would have
Infiltrated the Taliban
They would have infiltrated Al-Qaeda
Yeah
I mean it would have been
Passenger 54 scenario
If it was all women on that flight
They were taking so many
Fucking towers down
Dude they would have
Pulled out the box cutter
And then it was just like
Fucking female Wesley Snipes
Just coming up through
The bowels of the plane
No this is a woman
Suicide bomber
It's like
Yeah
The woman suicide bomber They go of the plane? No, this is a woman suicide bomber. Yeah.
The woman suicide bombers, they go on the plane,
and then they take three Advils,
and then they start an Instagramming story like,
that's it, I'm killing myself.
Three Advils?
I'm committing suicide.
You have a bunch of hot dogs taped to your chest.
That's not a suicide vest.
Hello? It's not just a cry for help. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do
it. I'm gonna crash this plane.
Just so you know, I'm gonna do
it. It's like, ma'am,
you're being disruptive. Can you please put your mask
on? She puts her mask on.
Hello!
I'm gonna need therapy for this.
That's a
woman suicide bomber. That's a woman suicide bomber.
That's a woman suicide bomber, yeah.
All right.
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month free keeps.com slash boys cast now so i did a deep dive uh this week because someone sent me
something on feminist reddit and i got real i know you told me i know you're like did you see
the link i said yeah i'm looking at it reddit was reddit uh became very kind of woke over the years
and they kicked out they you know they got rid of all the subreddits they were were aggressive right
except for there's a few ones on there's a few ones that sort of stuck right but the interesting
thing about the feminist like I was looking at fourthwave.feminism.com and all this stuff because
someone sent me this funny thread but they're very much more like old
school feminists like they're almost migtao in that there was some degree where it was almost
more respectable it was almost like girl power okay girl read it girl girl like power and and
the migtao stuff the feminists read it and the migtao half of it is like fuck men and fuck women and then a part of it is um
like hey brother you know just so you know we're there for you brother yeah like some of the
MGTOW camaraderie yeah yeah there's some of that stuff right but this stuff for example
this isn't like that new woke stuff they're like they're against porn
do you know what I mean are they yeah they're very much like almost uh no this whole new stuff where it's
you know it's very uh uh all the sex positive like they're not all like no sick we're all
prostitutes yeah yeah yeah yeah they're like no prostitutes this stuff's bad like yeah objectification
and all that stuff exactly they're basically 90s like it's just like 90s kind of it kind of is yeah
yeah and it's weird it's like they have remember that girl that one of the big viral interviews about the kamala harris titties that's what that girl said she's like i you know i were
against i'm an anti-porn activist that was the thing right yeah but it's weird so i want to do
a comparison of the men one too but then i'll go through their article because the first thing they
said was on both of them and i'll tell you what i thought about all
this stuff is the the female feminist reddit and the migtao stuff why they were kind of similar
because they both have valid concerns that people it is good to have support for for example the
girls there's a lot of it that is very you know women's issues like for example you know
we have to have pregnant we have to get pregnant earlier you know if we want to have kids you know
we're smaller than men it's you know scarier to be smaller like in all this kind of stuff socially
you know what i mean there are industries that are predominantly men and if you want to do those
like i've never had any problem or thought there's
anything wrong with support groups to talk about that stuff even with men their valid concerns was
like you know uh they can't get the kids in pregnant in uh divorce you know what i mean
false accusations hurt men more or whatever right sure and there's all these stuff where it's like
they are all valid concerns but the weird part about both of them and this is kind of where i feel like all this
stuff falls apart and then when it turns into the is a lot of them are based on the premise
that men and women are the same almost yeah do you know what i mean so it's very um why everything needs to be equal yeah well
that's the thing is the yeah it's it's the worst kind of like logic because it's just because we're
not because we're not and you don't have to like it's the round fucking square peg in the round
hole like you don't have to just like change everything so that we're equal it's fine not
being equal and that's what and we're not in some in many ways exactly and all of their
so when it's kind of like support for men because we're different or support for women because we're
different it makes a lot of sense but as soon as it becomes we all we need equal every it's like
it's it doesn't make sense it's just exactly equality is literally a concept it's not like
it doesn't so i'll show you yeah i'll show you kind of what one of the
things that even in the men's reddits or whatever where it kind of was losing me it's like they were
talking about how it's uh you know harder for victims of um uh false accusations or whatever
right and then they were you know they talk a lot about how it's not fair that uh men you know when men are like
sexually assaulted by a girl it's not looked at as as the same right yeah and then they've said
and they go and it shouldn't be well yeah that's kind of what i think and it was like even when
you know so they go when you were falsely accused and ruin someone's life this is where it started
to feel like the modern woke stuff of this like even in something like ruining your life so a lot of
people will say uh well when you do this when you'd false act accuse someone it makes it harder
for real victims that's like big argument sure and they're saying even when something like ruining
your life you have to frame it in a way that will help women because otherwise no one would care
about it right which is like true but it's not really a reasonable goal to think that's not going to be
the case it's like yeah yeah women are smaller and people are gonna care the same thing people
are gonna care about women and children more of course so it's like yeah it is just like a
political thing but yeah you're but it's like yeah that's true and it's always going to be
women and children first that's a saying that everybody knows.
Everybody's heard.
Like there's a pecking order.
But there's also even more of that,
that men don't think of themselves as a unit the way that girls do, right?
No.
So men don't think of themselves as like...
Men are more competitive.
They don't see...
Yeah, exactly.
I think there's like a biological competitive,
this aspect where like,
if you go back to kind of like,
what's the
gad side thing he does the uh biological whatever i can't remember what the term is but yeah so the
guys are just way more competitive yeah so they don't think of themselves as like one big evolutionary
biology so you have to you have to kind of make individual um appeals to men whereas to women you
kind of do have to make
appeals to being like, listen, this is going to be
worse for all of you.
So it is kind of like how people
naturally are. But that was... Plus we all know
women are a bit cattier, so they
don't like dissent in that. But yeah, it was
one of those things where
it is kind of like if you're going to a guy
and you go, hey, listen,
we should put protections in because some guys might come and beat you up or whatever.
You know, guys might not care.
But if they go, hey, we need security here because some of the women might get like.
Yeah.
Most guys are OK.
For sure.
I mean, every guy who has a girlfriend, their girlfriend at one point in time, unless she's like really, really gross, has told them that like even the gross ones are like, yeah, like I was walking and some guys are like yelling at me.
Oh, it's New York City.
It's worse than anywhere.
Oh, yeah.
New York City is worse because it's like legit crazy people.
You got a nice left titty and a right titty.
Yeah, yeah.
But they're like great.
Like it's like someone who's like literally wearing like track pants that are completely soiled on the front and the back
yeah and they're like hey baby you won't go out later come on baby there there's the guys outside
my house and it's a gaunt you have to run a gaunt to love yeah so yeah it's like but if you say to
me you go hey we should get some cops in here because these guys are going to, you know, it's going to be better for men.
I don't want to.
But you go, it's better for women.
So obviously that appeal makes sense that it's less safe for women.
But then they have their same, the women have the, the women's feminism groups have all
that same shit where it's like everything is, I put, I put, so the thread that they
did was called things men do that are misogynist right uh just i mean one word
answer everything yeah why even have a thread saved you the reading but it really was when you
start boiling down all the things it was just things we don't like about boys yeah like reasons
why boys are different my favorite one is that there's one that keeps coming up the most which is they go when a guy refers to a woman as crazy that's the real hot
button i know that's the one where you could tell like that's almost like you shouldn't have said
this so much because like a guy that's like a real insight women do not like being called crazy
well i so there was i found especially when they're acting crazy that's when
they like it the least well that so that was i had different categories i made this was these
were the categories of to describe all of the reddit and all of it could be summed up and just
things we don't like about boys yeah but there's the the first type is when it's like they're just
things people do you know i mean it could go both ways like for
example they say they only we hate how men when men only respect women that are attractive that's
misogynist yeah and that was a big one we saw a lot in the thread it goes like if a woman is
attractive she gets a pass and treated with sexual interest but if she's ugly she's useless to him and it's just that yeah hot
people have it easier yeah period but it's not do you think that if some guy is 900 pounds he
doesn't have a harder life with women than george clooney or even other guys that's the thing is
like guys to other guys are the same like that even when they're not trying to fuck them of
course yeah like it's but again we know this is obvious and then you tell these people they're
like what so i'm crazy what are you saying ryan are you saying that that uh what i think's crazy
but i think that they just it's like every they funnel everything they don't like into it's misogynist when it's
just this is things that everyone does yeah this is like definition of an echo chamber by the way
because it's like a locked post i'm sure anybody who's like who's like yo you bitches are acting
up delete they do you would see a weird one and then it would be a nine deleted comment yeah yeah
totally it's like it's all just like hey you're only allowed to kind of think in this framework.
Otherwise, like.
Well, here's another crazy one.
They said, if you talk to them and they say all their exes are crazy, that's another thing
that men do that's misogynist.
But you've, I've been with many insane girls where they go, yeah, the last five dudes I
dated are fucking, they're all so bad
yeah and you go well either that's what you like yeah or you're nuts i mean the thing with the
crazy usually when that's what you like it's because you're fucking like that too yeah also
we know guys who are like yeah i just like i'm in a i only date crazy chicks me yeah but that's
always not always a pretty good.
Sometimes, for sure.
They're fun.
They're like,
most,
they're more volatile.
Cool and like funny chicks
are generally kind of nuts.
A little wacky.
But yeah,
but they're saying,
oh, like my ex was,
he says all his exes are crazy.
Yeah, that's what he's into.
He's had options of regular chicks.
Well, that's, you just said the same thing as I said, but the other way around. Yeah, exactly. He's like, yeah, that's what he's into. He's had options of regular chicks. Well, you just said the same thing as I said,
but the other way around.
Yeah, exactly.
He's like, he gets the option.
He matches,
goes on a fucking Tinder date
with some chick who's like boring and plain.
He goes, I don't like this.
I want the girl who's fucking splashing a drink
in some random guy's face on the first date
and then making me try and fight him.
And then you go,
it's still fucking hot.
Yeah, exactly, right?
And then she does that and she goes, I don't like that my uh boyfriend says all it's like you
fucking took a box cutter to a bouncer's face right on a date and you're not allowed to tell
them yeah and what and that's crazy all of a sudden so that's yeah just that goes both ways
yeah of course and then uh they go when you have a problem at
when a guy has a problematic relationship with his mother it's crazy and you go but every woman
that uh she's like i don't even fucking talk to my dad that's not a red it's like yeah these are
not misogynist this is just people so you go you know with the the men's groups all go uh
So you go, you know, with the men's groups all go, uh, misandrist, misandry, misandrist.
But you, so what's, how is that a girl being like, I don't talk to my dad. It's like, so that's cause he's misogynist.
It's a patriarch.
But if you don't talk to your mom, it's cause you're a misogynist.
Cause you're a misogynist.
It's like everything that people do.
Well, again, it's like, if you just start from the starting point that all men are misogynists,
then it's very easy to just work
backwards to say like anything is real one reasons why men are misogynist has a dick yeah basically
and then they said uh the amount of people who don't listen to female artists or watch movies
without female stars is astounding and that's kind of the exact thing i'm saying about before where you know that is this idea of
why on earth is it problematic that men want to watch men's stuff yeah and girls want to watch
the fucking kardashians or whatever it's it's all on this predicated on this principle that
any differences in entertainment is somehow a problem i mean it's really it's any differences in entertainment is somehow a problem.
I mean, it's really, it's any differences, not even entertainment, just any differences, period.
Right.
Yeah.
They're not going to rest until we're fucking once a month shoving a tampon up our ass just so we can sympathize with their plight.
You know, when these people started to lose people, I think,
because this is where I was going backwards.
Like there are valid concerns from each gender. Of course.
And then you go,
I think they lost everyone.
Probably the number one place they started losing everyone was when they
started lying to make their points.
Like for example,
the trans stuff I'd say,
you know,
cause if you ever talk to girls that are into this stuff about
uh for example why women shouldn't uh or why trans people in women's sports is a problem
they're clearly lying well no the real lie believe it but they it's this the whole thing's so
dishonest yeah i totally agree i think that where they really lost people is they go look
women should compete or trans women should be allowed to compete against women and you go
okay i'm i'm listening and they go because there's no difference between men and women
physiologically and go well everybody knows that's not true but they'll say things they'll go but
again even though you know what i'm saying is they give they start off with this point you go okay
like i'll hear you out and then their first thing is you're like,
the most blatant lie that everybody knows to their core.
And they go, this is your whole thing?
Have you heard what they say, though?
The argument they say is they go, well, if that's true,
then sometimes there'll be a guy and sometimes he's a girl
and they'll be the same.
You know what I mean?
They'll say that, well well why is this girl uh
stronger than this guy and you're like yeah if you find a girl that's stronger than a guy
that girl will be stronger than a guy than that guy and you just and you go you you're looking
at these people being like you can't possibly think that's a real argument right you just have
you've already decided what the thing is and then you work backwards i think that's probably not only that but like when you do it with sports another thing
with sports is like so people give a shit about sports people give a shit about sports but also
sports is very quantifiable who's the best like there is someone who lifts the most amount of
weight yeah but in like in our better off but like in comedy we have these things where someone's
like oh women are funnier than men there's no real way to quantify that, right?
Like you can't be like, oh, look at this guy's statistics, her statistics.
There's no statistics.
Someone just picks or whatever.
Like there's no way to – whereas you could say like, look, like this guy has the biggest lift in the world.
This woman, this is her lift, and there's 50,000 men in front of her.
And that's it.
Like I don't know.
I saw another – what was another one i saw it
was a when i was looking at um vice last week it's just something version of it goes hero activist
makes um uh she is jailed for 11 years and then uh right under that it was anti-vax protesters
are a threat to the world it was just like hero protester and then the next one
was like it was literally protesters are heroes and then right under that protesters are a threat
to the world it was just like what's the difference it's like well they're protesting something i don't
like and it's just so they when they the dishonest arguments is probably where they lost i fucking
hope we get you know the spanish flu that's everybody was kind of what everybody compared
this to well at least when it started yeah the spanish flu that whatever in get, you know, the Spanish flu. That's everybody was kind of what everybody compared this to.
Well, at least when it started.
Yeah.
The Spanish flu that whatever in 1918.
And, you know, it just like literally one day disappeared.
It was just like gone.
It just it infected the whatever people and mutated and couldn't find anybody.
But I just can't.
Spanish flu salsa.
No.
The Spanish disease.
That's what they like.
You know how they say people were like have the sniffles from cocaine, the columbian flu it's something like that but it's like ketamine
um but anyways i would love to because then all those people if this just goes away and you go
all right so what's your what's your identity now it's like there is no covid like so many people
are hanging their head on the fact that covid's like like people are like yeah covid's gonna be
here for another decade and they go i hope so i fucking hope so we'll be so pissed if covid just happened to disappear all those people
who have like literal uh like i'm sure there's not a ton of them but people have like the covid
molecule and like vax date on their tattooed on their arm vax me i guess you could always cover up tattoos I want to do songs for the vaccine
I thought that's a funny one
Vax me my friend
Again
Vax me
Then they got into the specific scenarios
Where you go I mean I don't know that's a thing
But they said how men treat women
That they're attracted to
They're usually pretty nasty and rude to people
That they like and you you go, yeah, maybe in
grade four. Yeah.
Oh no, they're saying they're nasty and rude to
people they aren't. They are attracted to.
You're literally taking like the
tiny subsection of people.
That's what I mean. You know. Yes.
That's how you know he's a misogynist. Yes. And when I'm single,
I'm probably a little more friendly to
some chick that I want to
have sex with versus someone.
No, they did both.
They literally did both.
Oh, they said both.
They said both.
They go, how men that treat women they like bad, that's misogynist.
And then treat, if they only treat, they don't just treat all women equal.
But the one where they say you treat women mean that you're attracted to is like, what are you, in grade four? That's what I was saying. I mean, yeah, I guess if they just learned about negging. Hey, you stupid bitch. you're attracted to. It was like, Oh yeah. What are you in grade four?
That's what I was saying.
I mean,
yeah,
I guess if they just learned about nagging,
Hey,
you stupid bitch.
You're mystery.
The best.
Yeah.
Mystery.
The best are the people who are like just guys who just learned about
nagging,
who have like never touched a woman before.
And they go,
Oh,
so I just call her a dumb,
stupid bitch.
And she's going to have sex.
And then you go,
yeah,
try that out.
Nagging is like nagging.
If you don't know how to do it. And you're like, you just like, it's a
real binary where you go, oh, what's up, you fucking stupid bitch?
You're a slut.
Anyway, so are we going home or what?
And she like, splashes a drink in your face.
I'm like, ah, I'm going to try that.
Back to the drawing board.
And nice tits fatso.
I actually do think they're nice tits.
I just was, don't want to be too complimentary.
I just came from my pickup artist class,
and I just wanted to say you have big thighs.
I mean, all of it is premised on
be pretty decent looking, charismatic, and funny.
Yeah, I know.
Pickup artists are the biggest scam in the world
where they're literally just rinsing suckers. Yeah. said you'll see you know what it is though but there's some
people who are like can't talk to women and then eventually they're like if one thing i think the
pickup artist thing does is is teach a lot of people to be like hey like this is where your
standing is and don't try and go find some fucking 10 out of 10 when you're like a five
eventually they'll just figure that out and at least find someone.
Maybe it at least teaches them to try.
Cause exactly.
It's like,
no,
go out there and like take fail.
And then you know one thing.
And then at least know where you stand with women.
Like where,
well,
a lot of people have that idea where they go,
Oh,
you know,
that guy just gets so much girls or whatever that,
you know?
And then you go,
no,
no,
no.
The guys that are like having a lot of sex that you would consider, you know, players or whatever that you know and then you go no no the guys that are like having
a lot of sex that you would consider you know players or whatever the fuck you go that guy's
getting turned down a ton too oh insane amount yeah yeah yeah like every you know what i mean
i remember my like my girlfriend tells me sometimes she's like yeah i was like in union square some
like guy came up to me or whatever and i'm like and he's like she's like why do you guys do that
i'm like because he did that
a hundred times that day and he probably got 10 numbers yeah what's up girl nah i'll go yeah yeah
yeah yo what's up girl you single nah i'll go word but even at a bar you want you know the guys
that are trying to fucking trying to fucking go home handed tonight not empty handed Handed And then they said Oh this one
She goes
Women are misogynist
Like my dad
When he assumes
I don't know anything
About cars
And that's one of those
Things where you go
Well do you
She goes
No but that's not
The point
That's funny
It's that he assumes
I don't know
That's why I'm laughing
I go But your dad So your dad knows whether or not you know about cars, I would think.
Yeah.
Have you historically been into cars?
And if not, if you talk to your dad and you recently got into cars at 30 years old and
your dad's like, and you go, I want to buy a car.
You go, oh, well, do you need my help since you don't know anything about cars?
What the fuck? Are you out of your mind? I'm a fucking car expert.. You go, oh, well, do you need my help since you don't know anything about cars? What the fuck?
Are you out of your mind?
I'm a fucking car expert.
It's like, oh, when did that start?
Last week?
Well, you've never mentioned anything about cars.
It's like you locked your keys in your car seven times last month.
Yeah.
So a man assuming a woman's not an expert at anything.
Guess what?
My dad assumes I don't know anything about cars.
And he's correct. Yeah,? My dad assumes I don't know anything about cars and he's correct.
Yeah, I know
because I don't.
So that's one of those things
where you go,
well, it just depends on
whether it's true or not.
And they said,
using women
as their personal therapist.
It's okay to reach out to a friend,
but some men take it
to a whole new level
when talking to women.
And you know what that one is?
Again,
that's not something men do
that's something men do that have friends as women yes who think about all our friends that
are the most emotional lo and behold they have the most female absolutely that's true because
they will listen to that and it's like the reason you know that's not misogynist that is being a
chick yes i mean whatever just be more emotional it's you know they get they get closer to each The reason you want that's not misogynist. That is being a chick. Yes.
I mean, whatever.
Just be more emotional.
It's, you know, they get, they get closer to each other.
They have more interests.
You go, Oh, can you believe these guys that are hanging out with me? They want to talk to me about, you know, their problems and stuff.
It's like, yeah, if they didn't want to talk about their problems, they wouldn't be friends
with a bunch of chicks.
That's true.
When you tell your guy friends, your problem, you just get called gay yeah dude i'm not
i have friends that like call me and you know oh this and this and this i i've literally said i go
this seems more of like a girl yeah okay yeah are you after you i'm the
what that's nuts yeah that's crazy man yeah that's fucking nuts oh what the funny thing to back you call when you're a guy telling a story you go do you tell me the funny part you
go pretty funny thing happened about it like you tell me the funny part uh-huh you and maybe you
kind of go yeah and it sucks or whatever but you're not like yeah you know and i'm you know
i don't know what to do and this and that.
You go, yeah, it's something you have to figure out
because first of all, this is what girls don't realize
about all, everyone that's, they're just venting
because they just want to vent to you
because no one takes anyone's advice ever.
No.
No.
Rarely.
Never.
Maybe rarely.
99.9 times out of the 10.
You hear two girls talking,
they give each other advice for
four hours straight and then neither of them does any of it yeah they just go back to
girls the amount of times a girl's like i don't know maybe i shouldn't be with this guy and then
all our friends we go well if you're gonna break up with her we'll be there for you talk about all
the things then the next day the girl's like i didn't break up yeah yeah i didn't do it and then
they'll do it again yep suckers cycle that's you being a sucker you go this misogynist talked to me for eight
hours you don't have hang up ryan um you calling women suckers that's kind of misogynist i don't
even mean suckers in the sense that um they're being sucked into something i mean suckers because
women are better at sucking dick oh men are well you get a little beard ruffle i've had a little bit of both
i can't confirm and then they went through others where men are just always wrong you know no matter
what they're going to tell it tell women the crazy one is the biggest one too and people are like
look you know the crazy one comes up so much in this.
Yeah, they said telling women to take it easy.
They don't like it.
I love telling my girlfriend to take it easy.
That's one of my favorite things.
Are you dating someone that's flipping out?
I get what they're saying.
We're not anything to do with misogynist.
Telling someone to take it easy doesn't work that good when they're flipping out.
Yeah.
It's not even when she's flipping out.
She's just like sometimes, you know, she's a little neurotic or whatever.
I'll just be like,
you just need to chill.
And she's like,
don't tell me to chill.
I'm like,
I only tell you to chill when you need to though.
She doesn't like it.
Not a fan.
Hey,
take it easy.
Take it easy.
Yeah.
You go,
okay,
this is a lot right now.
I'm very much,
I remember when my ex,
it was like a most handful that I've dated in a while.
I would always be like,
you know, I'll tell you what we're going to do here.
You're going to go in that room.
I'm going to come back when you're ready to be a human again.
I was thinking of that stuff.
I go, yeah, when you're done, you're tan.
Time outs.
Well, because I never flip out unless I pretend to.
I go, you have to act like I'm mad.
Sometimes you have to act like you care for some reason yeah it's like the stella it's like i go listen you're ready to be a human put on your big girl pants put on your big girl pants
and then they said saying you're not like other women or or when a guy says he's not like other
guys so both are bad yeah like if you go to a girl it's like oh it's a good thing you're not like other girls or if a guy says you know i'm not like other guys. So both are bad. Like if you go to a girl, it's like, oh, it's a good thing you're not like other girls.
Or if a guy says, you know, I'm not like other guys.
Both of those are misogynistic.
Just don't talk.
You know how you could not be a misogynist?
Just never speak.
Yeah.
They say hating cats is bad.
That's misogynist.
Oh.
Not just being a cat person.
That's a preference and it's no big deal.
But not liking cats at all is a good sign of misogyny and control issues.
So if you have 19 cats.
I just came across this comment that's making me laugh so hard.
Ex-boyfriend ate my crisps.
He knew I always had for lunch.
Then he said it's bad for me anyways. That's a fucking misogynist. Misogynist piece of shit ate my crisps. He knew I always had for lunch. Then he said it's bad for me anyways.
That's a fucking misogynist.
Misogynist piece of shit eating your crisps?
That's a misogynist.
And then the last thing, which a category of I don't understand.
This is a big one that came up three times.
And they said calling women females is a big problem.
Yeah.
and they said calling women females is a big problem.
Yeah.
This is, so they go,
a guy friend who always says,
who says females,
I've asked him kindly to stop saying that word around me and I've even explained it to him
why it makes me uncomfortable.
He refused to try to understand.
If somebody tells you something
that makes you uncomfortable,
you stop doing it,
that's a general rule,
and I go, females?
Then I saw two more,
it goes, can we as a society stop referring to women as females in casual conversation no matter what the terminology
is outside of biology it feels dehumanizing uncomfortable and overwhelmingly sexist it's
so funny because because my response to that is oh you guys are all being crazy
you know females is a problem that's crazy but what is wrong with what what is that i don't
know i feel it's just a power thing where you go well i looked it's like policing they said at the
very least the clinical term females is like homosexuals when used in everyday conversation
it gives the impression that women and gay people are from a different species but why doesn't male
males so this is this is when you're talking about the echo chamber thing.
This hasn't even made it to the mainstream so much yet.
So I remember our friend Danny Martinello,
comic in Toronto,
he went to a show,
this like feminist show that we know in Toronto,
and he was in like the green room.
And I think he was like,
you know when the shows are having like the they're about to end or whatever so everybody's
in the green room and there was some comic and he goes hey what's up females and literally like they
all what we're like females like excuse and they really were like i mean it's it's the you know
the bowl cut feminist crew and they were like excuse me females like they were going crazy sort of an appropriating
asian hair by the way of the bulk of females i've never heard that but you learned something new
i thought it was more of like a kind of like a smooth guy like rap thing maybe be like what's
up all the feet like i feel like snoop dogg is calling everybody females. All the females in the building.
Yeah, I feel like that's because
they're just like hip hop,
cool guys call people females.
But why is that a problem?
Well, maybe because then they're like,
well, they're, I don't know.
Again, I think it's,
they just,
they pick all these things
and then they say like,
you're not allowed to say that.
So they must really hate
the male-female washroom.
They have to go into a bathroom
and it says female on it
and look like to them that's their n-word apparently if you put it i think if you put
the s on the end if the bathroom says females that's fine no no that's bad that's female i
think it's fine females is when they're like what and yeah in their mind they're going into like
what is essentially a the bathroom this is for coloreds yeah yeah exactly
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No sheetless mattress.
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um there was a few other things that i think i'm going to talk about on the patreon instead
because this article which is kind of a throwback for me from the first thing i saw in polyamory
but this is a first person account.
And these are not to be sleeped on.
Huffington Post first person accounts by girls.
Yep.
So this is what's going on in some wacky communities.
This is a woman that says,
my husband was cheating with a man,
so we made an unexpected life changing decision.
Are you on the edge of your seat already, Daniel?
Yeah.
Just before the holidays in 2017,
I was convinced that my husband was in the throes of a midlife crisis,
and I discovered he was having an affair.
It was a much like the classic middle class suburban cliche,
except for the twist that he was cheating on me with a man.
So she walked in, this guy's knee deep in a dude's butt.
Well, we raised our children with the understanding
that love is love,
so much so that they both felt the need
to come out to us as straight,
to give you a type of family, this is.
Yeah.
The kids are coming out.
Mom, dad, other dad,
the guy that dad has a leash attached to with a ball gag in his mouth i don't
know this yet though i have something to tell you all i'm straight i think that well that's
well you have to think though if they have kids that had to come out as straight the husband was
probably putting on putting out feelers i'd love to meet this husband and you're just like hello
you know it's probably pretty obvious but the husband's like
kids he's very like
you know if the guy's gay
there's nothing
you think about it like
so their kids were really pushed
that it's fine to be gay
is it a coincidence
like my dad probably
you know my brother came out
as gay but like
it's not like good or bad
but it just wasn't like
a hot topic
if they've been drilling this
into their kids heads
that there's nothing it's just funny like a guy that's in the closet having've been drilling this into their kids' heads that there's nothing,
it's just funny.
They're not like-
Like a guy that's in the closet
having sex with their men
to the kids being like,
like for example,
if someone in this household-
They're not,
it's not okay to be gay in that household.
It's important to be gay in that house.
So,
Stuart had assumed that when I,
that when I discovered his affair,
I would leave him
and he would lose the kids and his friends,
his family, his community.
Pretty good assumption.
Yeah.
In almost most places.
So I made the choice.
She decided that she was going to not do that.
And she made the choice to figure out a way forward with him,
which is kind of funny if he finally got caught and he was like,
finally, I can just, you know, whatever.
We'll separate. I'll live my life. I know. He thought it was like, he can just you know whatever we'll separate i'll
live my life i know he thought it was like he thought it was his out he goes fuck i've been
looking at that forever finally okay yes i'm gay she goes we can make this work he goes what
no i don't want to make this work i want to fucking get railed at bath houses yeah she goes
no i'm telling you we can make this not so so. She got him. He's packing his bags.
You know what?
Well, I'm so sorry.
I'll get out of your hair.
Get out of my hair.
What do you mean?
I've never loved you more.
You go, fuck off.
You got to be kidding me.
Is this a joke?
Oh, God.
How funny.
You're joking me, right? You're joking me, right?
You're kidding me, right?
And then she goes,
Stuart didn't even know about the Kinsey scale of sexuality,
so she's educating him on some of this stuff, right?
Yeah, she's educating him, even though he's like,
literally sucks dick.
She's like, this is what it's like.
Well, because he's like, you know,
I got cop on this dude.
I'll be out of here.
And then she goes, no, let's talk about it.
You know the Kinsey scale?
And she goes, listen, all I know is I'm blowing dudes.
She pulls up like a fucking PowerPoint.
He goes, did you just have that ready to go?
She goes, yeah.
And yeah, so she decides she's going to make this work
and they're going to figure it out.
So she told him about the Kinsey scale.
He has no idea about any of this stuff.
And then she goes, I decided that if he was gay, I would be his best friend and wife so that we can have one big, happy gay family.
This guy.
That's what I was loving.
The idea of him being like, yeah, I guess we give that a shot.
I guess the really big, happy gay family is an option.
Give that a shot. I guess the really big happy gay family is an option.
I helped him create his online dating profile and took sexy pictures of him to upload and sent him articles on gay relationships.
Oh, my God.
What a nightmare.
You know what I mean?
I think I know why this guy's gay now.
This is his wife.
Can you believe that, though?
You get caught blowing a dude danny and then she goes
you know i brought you some garments for your photo shoots just show a little skin work it
there's a few techniques i like to use when i suck your dick work it she brings like a fucking
dildo so we can practice we'll practice together she's setting up his dating profiles and then she's taking pictures of him oh my god oh yeah
you're a good little gay boy you're gonna get so much dick smile small put out that dick sucking
lips it's your ex-wife mother your kids mother your kids this guy this guy would have been so
much better off in the old days where he just like was on the dl this guy's probably like listen i
just want to have my family and suck a couple of dicks on the side.
He wants to be like the guy from Sopranos.
Yeah.
He just wants to...
He's a thug!
He's a thug!
Hey, come on.
She's giving him advice
and articles on gay relationships.
She's never been in one.
She's like, you know,
you don't want to divulge too much on the first minute,
minute two,
however,
really go ham.
Yeah.
So she goes in February,
2018,
he's,
he,
he,
uh,
he moved out of the house to a larger nearby by city so he could explore.
So they're staying,
staying best friends and a big happy family but he's gonna take
a six-month hiatus where he goes to the city just a different city yeah because they're not enough
ass to tap oh he probably lives somewhere where they're but how funny is that though so they're
best friends she's made his dating profile it's like a kid going off to college sort of yeah
they have a big ceremony it's like you know what you go pound that ass I want you to go to the big city
I want you to pound all that ass
Till your heart's content
Here I got something for you
Your hand is just like a cock ring
Get out there slugger
She's packing
You know he's packing his suitcase
She's crying
Like you just
You're gonna pound so much
Fucking ass over there buddy
You're gonna make me proud I want you to get, buddy. You're going to make me proud.
I want you to get that dick wet.
Those bottoms don't know what's coming for them.
Yep, she's been training him.
She gave him a Rocky montage.
You know what they did for the pounding ass to Rocky montage?
She made him do some gay first dates where she wears a mustache.
She just looks like Freddie Mercurydie mercury she yeah they sit at
the dinner table and the kids are like why does mom have a mustache and a hat and a pipe and she
goes we're role playing we're role playing so she plays like that and then she goes okay tell me what
you do uh hi hi sir okay now and then uh he's got she has the, she has the pipe smoking while he's pounding her.
This is really Sherlock Holmes.
Now, I want you to go to that big city and I don't want you to come home until your ass is sore.
Next time I see you walking through that door, it better be walking funny.
I want to see you walking funny through this door.
The overly supportive wife, which should be mad, is so bad.
By the middle of the year, Stuart had determined that he was bisexual
and he wanted to stay married to me.
He's all fucked out at this point.
Yeah, he goes, all right, I got that out of my system.
So he decided he wanted to be both.
So he comes home and he goes, all right, I'm back.
Yeah, I'm fucked out that was a doozy of a six months though let me tell you you know what poppers are i didn't either
but he goes also uh by the way i blew my ass out a little bit you know what a prolapse is i got that yeah so
what they did was they created an ethical non-monogamy marriage agreement with lots of
rules including when and how frequently they should see each other's texting times and
expectations so i would love to fucking go to my girlfriend and i'd be like okay so we're
gonna set some texting times
don't text me unless it's in the
schedule
otherwise I won't get them
you go kind of funny I'm just looking at the schedule and I don't see this
as one of the windows you have your lawyer as president
excuse me Mr. Polish
and she goes
well what if I want to text you at dinner he whispers in your ear
you don't have to say anything
you have the right to remain silent.
I'd like to take the fifth.
I'd like to abstain from this conversation
as we have previously had this agreement
and you said that you will not be texting me during dinner.
Yep.
We had a therapist and my husband's therapist
described the conditions we were living under
under what he would describe as a powder keg
and it was uh destined to
blow up so the therapist wasn't down therapist got the therapist was saying what we're saying
he goes what he goes yeah this isn't gonna end yeah the therapist is probably like okay well
he's gay so he's figuring himself out now we should work on you because you want to keep this
marriage going even though he's gay yeah yeah what's like what's going on with you and she goes
oh no no it's more of a him thing let's focus on him you're i didn't even think about
that because i was just thinking about how funny it was but you are right it is sort of a girl
being like she can't accept that this is all it's like your life is falling apart his is kind of
starting i guess he has this like re restart to his life and you're like oh my world's actually come crashing down how do I latch on
to his new thing
that is true
what a codependent
bitch
like at some point
he goes
hey listen
you gotta
this is my gay life
yeah he goes
are you straight
and she goes
yeah obviously
I married you
he goes
okay well I'm gay
now
so you need to find
someone who's straight
it's not someone who's gay yeah but i guess he
said it's kind of one of those things where she goes you know it's like you try to break up with
your chick and she goes well uh can't we just be in an open relationship and you go yeah okay let
me try that you know i mean basically your breakup didn't take. Yeah, you drag it out. Sure, we'll drag us out. Yeah, let's.
He's like, I'm going to go pound ass in the big city. In the big city.
And then she goes, well, when you're ready, I'll be here.
He goes, okay.
It's literally a guy going off to, you know, high school relationship.
You're going off to college.
You go, yeah, for sure.
We'll kind of.
Yeah, we'll stay in touch.
And then he comes back six months later.
He goes, still here, huh? Yeah, yeah yeah yeah really he was hoping you might have it i figured you
would have had a new guy by now and she goes no i'm just waiting for you no i'm waiting for you
okay well you still have that wig and mustache
and then she said then things began to shift i poured so much energy into stewart's sexuality
his anxieties and making sure that his gay relationship was going well his stress overwork
his fears i need to knew i needed to work on myself so then she talks about she had big fears
that she overcame so this is the big fear that she owed to overcome for herself which is pretty funny and
also by the way she uh had a threesome with roberto she goes there was a bunch of stuff where
she goes blah blah and she was like and also uh he even let roberto his new husband have sex with
me so so uh stewart said that his new husband so stewart's boyfriend yeah also took his wife for a
spin took it for a spin. Took her for a spin.
Sure, why not?
She goes jealous.
He goes, I can't have anything, huh?
But this is what she said.
This is when she realized that she was free.
She was at a diving board and she has problems.
And she said, when I was seven years old,
we were spending time at the hotel on a family vacation.
My fearless sister jumped off the diving
board so fearless so brave yep she dove and cannonballed into the water again seven-year-old
woman cannonballed off the diving board into a pool brave brave very brave laughing and smiling
women are better at cannonballs laughing and smiling to the to applause
of my dad then it was my turn my dad clapped and smiled as i walked to the edge of the diving board
i stood there staring at him staring down into the abyss of the holiday in waters paralyzing with
fear and the uncertainty of the unknown and what would happen if i couldn't if i couldn't jump i couldn't jump
and i had to live with that as i told stewart that he started crying and he said i can't believe you
never told me that and i go what whoa whoa whoa whoa that was the whole story yeah she goes how's that she hasn't she realized she hadn't dealt with her own trauma from that
time when she couldn't jump off the diving i was totally expecting to be like i went on the
diving board and then someone molested me yeah the diving board broke my my bathing suit flew
off like you expect something really... And a tiger attacked me.
Yeah.
She goes, she had to deal with her own trauma
because she couldn't jump off a diving board
when she was younger.
Stuff.
By the way...
I mean, you might have to deal with your trauma
that your gay husband has a separate life
that you're essentially managing.
You're essentially his manager for his gay relationship.
And at the end of the whole thing, she says it worked out and she was happy about it.
By the way, if you listen to this podcast, if there is one thing as a guy you should ever take away from this,
is that if you go on a date with someone and she says she's a freelance blogger, run the fuck away.
Because they'll do all this crazy shit just in the name of getting like one
thing published on huff post every four years like she's like fucking doing this all this crazy shit
in her life and she's probably like oh you know i can write about this this is gonna be like a good
so true it's gonna be a good piece for vice or refinery for or whatever and you're like why are
you doing all this why and then she goes it's just because it's gonna be a good article it is true
because she you know she's like oh everything's so good but it's not because you're writing about
it and you're you know you're exactly like there's an oh you know it's the it's like reality if your
life's fine if there's cameras around you then it's not reality anymore yeah it's something
different if you're doing this so you can write your progressive article.
Yeah.
Like she didn't do this whole thing and at the end of it be like, you know what?
I should get into blogging.
I'm going to submit this.
Not a chance.
This was all part of it.
She's a freelance blogger with a husband.
Yeah.
Messages with the guys.
And then she decides, I'm going to be his pimp.
Who are you meeting tonight?
Roberto?
Better wear something frilly.
No, what underwear?
Did you clean your rectum out?
She goes,
she's just taking notes.
She's got her legal pad.
This is good stuff.
She's like,
can you move to the city?
Make sure to subscribe to the patreon.com slash the boys cast for a bonus episode every week where we're on fire.
We're going to be going through a lot of interesting stuff this week because there was so much to talk about.
Buy tickets to my show in New York City in my third stand up special.
New York. New York City in my third stand-up special. New York.
And I just want to say to all the females out there, we appreciate you.
We appreciate the fact that you are a female.
Female.
For pay.
For pay.
Or not.
Peace.
Bye.