The Boyscast with Ryan Long - ABORTION ROAD TRIP & STAR SEEDS

Episode Date: May 7, 2022

Abortion road trip, acting role identity changes, Dave Chappelle getting tackled and Starseeds SUPPORT THE BOYSCAST: https://www.patreon.com/theboyscast http://ryanlongcomedy.com MERCH - ryanlongstore.com Ryan @ryanlongcomedy Danny @dannyjokes SUPPORT THE SPONSORS AT: Breathefum.com/boyscast - Promocode BOYSCAST for 10% Off Keeps.com/boyscast - 1st Month Of Treatment Free LEAVE US A FIVE STAR REVIEW! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And you can tell our friends, and they can have my things when we're dead But we don't live forever, but we don't live forever And you can tell our friends, and they can have my things when we're dead And abortion, abortion, abortion It's abortion time Dude, I got, honestly, on the way here I got an abortion, last night I got an abortion You gotta get them while they're hot Get them while they're hot

Abortion here, old timey abortion There's a guy in Union Square, yeah, they're hot Get him while they're hot Abortion here Old timey abortion There's a guy in Union Square Yeah, they're starting to do pop-ups Pop-up abortions? Dude, I cornered the market actually The moment I saw it too I fucking went You opened up a Florida abortion clinic?

No, no I went and bought every Handmaid's Tale costume on Amazon And then I fucking Then I relisted them for double the price And they're all sold out Yeah, that's what you should do it's hustlers dude it's Gary Vee

fucking hustler mentality that's the thing you all sleeping Danny sees you all sleeping and I'm taking advantage of women's rights being rolled back

all of you guys what you guys see when you see a school shooting you say oh that's sad what Danny sees is a stock market buying opportunity like a Jim Cramer

goes bye bye bye bye, bye. Yeah, you know what's going on. Dude, okay. I couldn't even watch the Met Gala because I was so fucking mad about this abortion stuff. How about this? How many people were at the Met Gala being like, fuck, I wish I dressed as an abortion.

Oh my God. If that was one day later, every person would be in a dying fetus outfit. Dude, they all show up and they go, you're also wearing the fucking dress that says abortions for everybody? With red paint on it they're all wearing they keep the coat hangers in the outfit okay what about this for the new movie road trip yeah it's road trip i think three i don't know if they had a second one if they did i don't think they had the second uh maybe they

did so this is the sequel all the old cast dj qualls t green's back in the mix but it's a guy who is a chick gets pregnant in a place where abortion is not legal and he's got to get her across state lines before she changes her mind oh right like that you know how the guy yeah he had to get back to the thing right so he's got the girl in the car and then uh tom green's the abortion doctor by the way he's the wacky abortion doctor yeah he goes down there to do the abortion and just like a rubber chicken comes into frame he goes squeaks it yeah yeah he pulls out like a fake thing he's like a hamster he goes what's this she goes well he goes i'm just messing with you here's the fetus i'm just messing with you what the hell pulls out the shop pulls out the shop

vac he goes let's do this shit yeah he's having like a comical sequence you know what's so funny actually you know how Corinne he's licking the fetus rubbing his ass on the fetus yeah yeah yeah my bum is on the fetus

my bum is on the fetus so that's what he's doing it's like the sausages there's fetuses hung from playing the piano Yeah, yeah, yeah. My bum is on the fetus. My bum is on the fetus. So that's what he's doing. He goes, mommy. It's like the sausages. There's fetuses hung from playing the piano. Daddy, would you like some fetuses? Daddy, would you like some fetuses? And they're all just fucking.

That's what happens when you walk inside the place. Tom Green's abortion hour. Yeah. And his dad's the guy that thinks abortions are bad. God damn it, Tom. This is serious business. Yeah yeah so i'm thinking that but you're in the car right and there's all these all the signs that are like abortions murder you know what i mean no woman would ever have an abortion so you've got to keep trying to distract

her like video game style or you go hey look at this like you know what i mean oh my thumb's falling off you're doing some trick thinking maybe I should just keep it. He goes, no, no, no, no, no, no. Eyes down on the game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's looking at the thing. You just swerve the card. Every time she sees the thing.

To me, that was the funniest thing was the idea of like the guy who really wants to get the abortion and all this stuff. Right. So they go, you know, they go, oh, abortion might not be legal in some roe v wade and the guy goes no he's he's crying his eyes out and she's like you seem a little too upset about this what's the matter you're not really that into women's rights you go no my life is over this is the worst thing that has ever happened to humanity the girl goes, whoa. I thought we talked about potentially having a baby. I thought that I would be able to convince you out of it.

I was bluffing. I could be able to get you to go to fucking New Jersey. The guy that's way too mad about this. Dude, I was listening to Christian radio. Yeah, you were. Because I was in the car. I rented a car and I was driving back. So I had four hours. So I'm going to listen to the fucking radio. You love weird radio stations. I love radio. Yeah, you were. Because I was in the car. I rented a car and I was driving back so I had four hours so I'm going to listen

to the fucking radio. You love weird radio stations. I love radio. Well, I just know. You know what? I was like, I want to know what everybody's take

on the abortion thing is. You know what the funny part is? I was listening to on Low Value Mail. You do have a pretty good old school AM radio style voice. No, honestly. I'm like,

that's what I'm going for is an AM radio show, right? It's got it, yeah. Yeah, so then I was just listening for some tips and stuff and I just wanted to see. For one, a weird thing is I listen show, right? It's got it, yeah. Yeah, so then I was just listening for some tips and stuff, and I just wanted to see. For one, a weird thing is, so I listened to NPR.

It's all women. It was weird. NPR. All women, and they're all like, abortion's the worst, but then I turned on the Christian Conservative because they're all on the AM dial. One of the shows-

Abortion's the best, you mean. Yeah. Oh, abortion's the best, yeah, sorry. And then the AM show, one of them was this Christian show, and literally the opening music was like, ba-na-na-na-na-na-na opening music was like, they were so pumped that abortions were illegal now.

They were like celebrating. They're playing all this like fucking super like uplifting, like celebration music. I was like, this is the best show. Do you know what's funny? Because they don't have that in Canada. We don't have conservative, like we have like one radio station's conservative. I think a lot of the AM's conservative. But like in Canada, it's like, they're not like hardcore conservative here.

They're like, I'm like, Oh, these are like fucking, these are like, ah, end of times are near. Like they're really,

this is the first time. And there's 10 of them. End of times. We've actually changed it. End of times aren't near. Yeah. I guess the end of times aren't that near. It was,

it was, um, making me laugh. The idea that pastors now are essentially, because, you know, they kind of do the same thing as podcasters in a lot of ways.

They spend a week like prepping their thing and then they come give their hour speech or whatever to the congregation or whatever, right? But it's funny now because the pastors

probably have to get into the social media game so they have to do the same shit as comedians. Like, they have a guy doing their clips for them You know what I mean they gotta be on TikTok the ones that want to be successful if you want to be

A successful pastor you gotta be doing all the same Shit comedians are doing you know what I mean Yeah and they're just like fuck I just gotta Cause you know how he's gotta think about what's going Viral he's like you know we'll talk about that and he's Like oh that's a little hack you know I gotta be on Cause so many comedians begrudge You know they're like fuck I don't want to have to

do any of this shit. I just want to like do. I just want to do my shit. That's probably like, I just want to spread God's word. It's like, well, it's too bad. And you go, all right, well, talk about it to fucking 12 people who show up every fucking Sunday afternoon. Right?

Yeah. Yeah. But just the guy that is fucking way too pumped about this and his girl goes, you know, I was thinking I don't want to get an abortion you go you want to let ben shapiro win this is you have two options right now you let the daily wire win is that what you want and you know i mean you just you're pulling out people you're just forcing her to watch all the people she hates i mean do you know there's gonna be some women who are like i just like we just need to have abortions just just like to send the

message that's what i mean yeah yeah just abortions just like to send the message. That's what I mean. Yeah, yeah. Just like, we just got to send the message that abortions are okay by having. There's one guy right now that probably has some chick pregnant and she's been calling him like,

I'm pregnant and I'm going to keep it, this and that. And then this happened. And then she was out there protesting how great abortions are. And this guy's like, oh, so me. He's so happy that he becomes religious and he's against abortions now and this guy's like, oh, so amazing. He's so happy that he becomes religious and he's against abortions now.

It's full circle. Are you going to go to fucking abortion protests and do some streeters? No, I don't think so. You don't got the guts? I don't have the guts. I think I might do

a sketch about it though. Yeah, yeah. But I don't know if I'm going to do a streeter there but I think I am going to do a sketch about it telling the girl,

you need to go on sex strike, baby. So I pay the doctor off to be like, you go to the abortion doctor and he's there and he's like, you pay him to be like, you know, you have an hour to decide because it's going to be done. And he keeps hitting the clock like tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, an hour before they win. You know what?

The one thing is there's probably gonna be i know that all like conservatives are pumped right now on the line there is gonna be probably pretty serious blowback from this where it's like california is gonna do some wacky shit you know like it's gonna be illegal till the kids 95 pretty soon yeah i actually so uh because i can't actually get a beat on because they're trying to figure out who leaked this, right? And some people are like conservative leaked it. Some people are like Democrats leaked it. I'm like, I don't really know.

Like this could really go either way in terms of who this benefits. I don't really know politically who this benefits because there's like an election coming up. I couldn't really quite get a beat on it. I don't have a beat on that either. But I do have a beat on the fact that fucking necrophiliacs is going to get added to the lgbtqin pretty soon lgbtn they're advertising in two years because this is gonna be like captain crunch coming out of the closet as a necrophiliac and he's like we need uh you know this is this is

his but they're still like very consent oriented so they have to make sure the family's estate is consents before the consents before the the corpse you know what i mean before the corpse yeah yeah has the thing there's gonna be there's gonna be legitimately pedophiles fresh out of prison they're gonna be arguing for you know to remove the hundred meters away from kids stuff he's a pedophile but not a monster he's just looking he can't look he's just got a wandering eye he's got a wandering eye oh he's never act on it he can't take? He's just got a wandering eye. He's got a wandering eye. Oh, he's never act on it. He can't take a peek at the school. This is a cruel and unusual punishment.

Teaching masturbation class to one-year-olds. Wait, did you say necrophiliac? Yeah. Like the dead bodies? Dead body disposal. Yeah. Have to do it after your foes are killed. There's a, you know what?

This also changes a little bit. I think depending on what happens, some of those places like Austin are probably going to be, it's going to be a hit for them becoming like comedy hubs and stuff like that. I mean,

definitely who, I know who this is not good for, white guys trying to be in entertainment. This is another hit for us. I honestly saw that. I go, another fucking, yeah,

another thing that I have nothing to do with. That's going to's gonna 100 impact me i mean i've already given up on that whole thing i know right but like at the same time you're like if you're the type like we know people who are you're gonna walk into a comedy club girls just gonna punch you in the face yeah i mean we know so many people who have not given up on that because they don't live in reality or they live in canada or whatever and if you if you were up for a job when this happened in entertainment like if you're up for for a job in Canada and you're a white guy, you're like,

you just took a hit. Yeah. You're like, what did I do? I didn't do anything. Well, that's fucking like wrote the United States Supreme court overturns Roe versus Wade.

And now I don't get to work in comedy or whatever. Do you remember the old school? Do you remember Tucker Carl, Tucker Max? When he did the abortion clinic thing that was like the old school pranks so tucker carlson or tucker mac so no it definitely wasn't tucker carlson tucker mac back in the day uh paid this is when he was doing stuff with ryan holiday he was like he wrote that book about advertising for american apparel and stuff and they were doing all

these wild publicity stunts and he bought the name of an abortion wing yeah oh he he named oh i didn't know that he named it tucker max abortion wing and then went outside and it was a big publicity stunt or whatever right because he banged so many chicks and he said that right it's it's funny to think that ryan holiday that was kind of his start doing all that tucker max stuff and now he exclusively talks about stoicism yeah he's like the stoicism guy yeah i uh the abortion pranks my favorite ones were when the super religious guys would just firebomb an abortion clinic you like that one just sort of funny message that hey no no no yeah yeah that's part of the road trip thing is you have to get through those people you know what i mean oh yeah yeah yeah yeah the fucking protest you gotta bring her into the abortion clinic in a hockey bag so she doesn't see any of that nonsense god hit the

god hates fads people yeah Yeah, exactly, right? We got some new stuff. Probably the crazy, it is, you know, this is a perfect time, this is probably the ultimate in, which is kind of a throwback in comedy for everyone will be mad at you. Because especially if you think about it right now, you know, liberals are having

a meltdown, Republicans are on sort of like a little bit of a moral high horse, you know what I mean? Yep. yep so it's uh we're not murderers i was well they're saying you're murderers you know what i mean that's what i'm saying yeah yeah exactly so i was posting things that was getting like quote tweeted by uh liberals and republicans getting mad at me it was a little bit of a throwback of the old days well because it's there's the big thing where it's that's the sweet spot yeah because people are like well you shouldn't be like liberals would be like you shouldn't be joking about this even if you agree with us and it's... That's the sweet spot. Yeah, because people are like, well, you shouldn't be... Like, liberals would be like, you shouldn't be joking about this,

even if you agree with us. And it's like, yeah, I know. I've got the message. This is not in my fight. You're not allowed to talk about this. And be like, well, then... But then they always seem to retweet guys that agree with them. So it's like, what you mean is I can talk about this if I agree with you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The worst is the conservatives... And I do it the way that you want to do it. Because we have conservatives and they're like, yeah, you know, we hate abortions, right? And I go, no. Well, you have to choose between essentially no free speech and I hate jokes or no abortions, the kind of religious stuff, right? Yeah.

That's a biggest one where people go, and I had this argument with a couple of people because I haven't, you know been arguing with a few people. You don't like to dabble in the argument. There's that very much stuff where it's girls. It's like, well, you say it doesn't affect you, so you don't care. First of all, I rarely get really mad about anything. I try to live in a comedy realm.

There's these people that we go, well, you're a dude. It doesn't affect you. It's like, yeah, you live in Canada. It really doesn't affect you. Yeah, it really doesn't affect you. Or you live in New York or LA. This it doesn't affect you and it's like yeah you live in canada it really doesn't affect you really doesn't affect or you live in new york or la like this also doesn't affect you it's this really affects it's it is weird because it affects not like not i'm not gonna say not that many people no i know what you mean though because most of the people that a lot of the people that

live in the places that it might affect agree with it they either agree with it or they have the means to just hop to the next day exactly just the poor people right because there is no scenario where i if i did want to like had a scenario where fucking dude if you move to austin impregnate right impregnate uh your fucking uh ten mistresses yeah but say you move to austin you do comedy and they go and you fucking have a situation you go yeah i go i don't fuck yeah we're going to california we're going on a fucking road trip i'll take you to russia if i got it let's go to north korea pyongyang fucking yeah so you are right it affects and that's the thing it's like so most of the people and then they're saying they're like well i care about what i care about other women you know what i mean you go so why can a girl do that? But a guy can't. Also,

hello, but two of the fucking Supreme Court justices are women. Two of them are like more than two of them. No, it's obviously the women. I think most of this stuff, which is why it's complicated, is like the most liberal arguments,

like kind of don't make sense. They're kind of just like constructed to. Yeah, of course. You know what I mean? Yeah, they're not superly. Logically rigid.

They're not. Because a lot of, you know, a lot of people, I, a lot of people, I saw a lot of things where, oh, a bunch of just white men deciding and you go, yeah,

but it wasn't. No. It's like it wasn't white men. There was women. And white men decided to put it up in the first place. There was fucking black men. No, it is a little bit

of a Groundhog Day thing watching, you know, people get so mad and like all the marches yelling and stuff. It was like a little bit of a four-year thrift. I think we're going to see some people kind of scratching that fucking riot itch.

Yes. Dude, I think you're going to see a fucking insurrection. And then you're going to also have to see Huffington Post watching. You know why? Some insurrections are actually pretty good. You know who was super pumped? Tim Pool was so pumped because he's been calling for civil war forever. And goes this is it oh yeah this is the one is the civil war that's another one that you've seen the flipping which you know shows that no one actually cares about

any of their real principles or whatever but you watch a bunch of uh chicks they were posting like what was her name chelsea manning and all these people oh yeah you know liberals need to start forming militias and get guns and stuff like like i thought you wanted them to get taken away chelsea manning leading a fucking militia yeah that's good stuff right yeah dude motherboard uh that was a good one they posted basically saying uh well there's a there's this uh off the market abortion drug you can use and it's called horse medicine it was not oh real oh my god yeah something about the yeah so it's basically misoprotol and it's horse medicine but it can also be used to induce abortion they're like this is why it's good and it's like this it's it's a fucking bizarro timeline

oh yeah dave smith had kind of the best take too where he's just like yeah probably not uh good that you guys were all like fucking my body my choice and you don't know what a woman was all in the last like kind of six months. Right. Not a good time for the fucking pro-abortion people. Yeah, yeah. I was actually thinking about that because there's so many places

where you could say my body, my choice, but then most people would agree like, okay, my body, my choice, but then a lot of people that probably are against abortion think heroin should be illegal. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.

And a lot of people would say that kids can't transition so really they're saying my body my choice once you're 18 or something like that right or you can't uh drink till you're 21 like what argument what my body my choice argument could either may and then obviously the other way it's like okay i'm down for uh you know my body my choice but no is cigarettes and then obviously what the republicans think which is why this whole thing people are just arguing the other way yeah they're arguing two different arguments right because they're saying my body my choice and they're saying well obviously we're not talking about your body we think it's the kids autonomy or whatever right yeah well they think you're

just like it's a louis ck joke they're like yeah you're some people think it's uh what was it some people think it's killing babies some people don't yeah and you're like it's yeah like you are killing a baby but whatever you're fine with it no i think that even when you were saying with the uh the the most people can do it it's like that's how i think about a lot of laws where i guess i'm just like yeah i mean you can make all the laws what you want i'll figure out what i'm gonna do i'm gonna do what i'm gonna do you know what i mean but i guess from the start from the basic thing is it seems like this thing sort of wasn't on constitutional from the start but there was enough judges that agreed they would hold it up is that the idea uh that's what it's and then rbg kind of fucked them by

dying during trump thanks well but if she was if she was a team player for them she would have uh resigned under obama so they would get a new person right but she said oh you know she had that fucking God complex. She thought she was going to live forever. They had a God complex. She thought she was

going to live forever but only the boys live forever. She walked down the street, sees all these people wearing fucking notorious RGV shirts or whatever. She goes,

I ain't going nowhere. Yeah. And I don't, you know, it's one of those things where I'm not ever going to fucking get on the front lines

and argue too hard about anything even though that everyone's been yelling at me every which way that i do the amount of people that it's like i need telling me i need to take a stand on this and that and this and that for the last you know five to ten years funny because you've you've yet to do with once i never will yet to acquiesce and they think that you're eventually going to be like all right yeah here let me stand up because this is you know it matters to me or whatever right but the um i mean basically only the only real thing would be like if comedy gets banned or

something you'd be like okay i found the thing where i'll would i or would i move right like if they i mean to be honest yeah probably but i still wouldn't hold a picket sign i can't i can't imagine me holding a picket sign and being that's not calm open up even a yeah it would be a job no i try to dedicate my life to a life of service of being funny and I really believe I could never that's what people

don't realize about fucking being funny it's a life of service that you've dedicated yourself to it's kind of like the priest that he was like

he has the information where the guy confessed to him and he wants to solve a murder but he's dedicated his life to this because I love yes you think I don't

want to do that sometimes but I've dedicated myself to this I I love yes you think I don't want to do that sometimes but I've dedicated myself to this I took an oath to the joke but I kind of so my point was there isn't a lot you could argue that's not every person um even if you agree it's like it's one of those things where there people are going to be so crazy over the next little while that there's not much that I want to fucking uh no you're i mean all i want to do with this stuff is just inflame people i that's why i sing it's a good time for that

just to be inflammatory but isn't there something so funny about like liberals like because obviously it's one thing just like uh pissing off whatever like uh on the i'm offended crowd or whatever yeah but isn't it funny you're pissing them off when you actually agree with them on the issue. A hundred percent. Yeah. That's the best. Isn't it not fun? Like,

I know like part of me is like the, the comedic mind sometimes is almost, you go like, yeah, you know what? I might become, uh, anti-abortion for like a couple of minutes just to fucking piss people,

even though I'm not at all. Yeah. Well, my, my, the persona. So my philosophy on it from the start which that isn't like to not go too into the actual thing what i because i do think about this a lot anytime where people have the things i always kind of was like okay the

people are arguing two different things i know one person's saying it's not a kid yet but that article that that doesn't really hold up where it's like that's the louis ck thing you're saying where it's like it is a little bit like it's if you if you think like well it's not a baby yet well then how could you argue like we need to change the terms and all this stuff well it's fine here that it was there so it's like were you wrong before it was a baby then so obviously and then i kind of think about it if you go okay from a from the killing baby's perspective if you said imagine this mother and she had a baby that as soon as the baby was born it was going to get tortured for life right and you essentially like mercy killed that kid or whatever right even if it was one i think most

people would agree that would have been the move you know what i mean sophie's choice if you will it's sophie's choice so i think if you go by that you'd automatically unless there's a religious connotation you would probably say that's the moral thing to do, right? And so that's just like an extreme case, right? But if I was to say, I don't think of human life as that valuable. And I think most people don't. And that is a big crux of some people's argument

is they think that human life is the ultimate. It's specifically valuable. Specifically valuable. It's the ultimate thing. But then it's the same thing. Some people go, it's not. But then how would you, how could you,

like, I guess then you're looking at greater good, but you're saying hey i'm gonna go serve send people to war i think most people would agree to send people to war even though they think this right yeah so if you agree with that principle then if you said okay well what about having like a ton of babies that end up poor and are on welfare would that not be the greater good okay so greater good argument you're already into semantics yeah but what i would say is if you're actually being real about when it's a child i think consciousness to some degree would make sense of like okay when when do we agree that like you know the mother can't just like kill her kid i think from a point of view that i would say i think it's consciousness right yeah but then you would say back to that some

people go heartbeat well but then okay exactly right but no conscious and then there's a lot of people the the most fundamental of it where they straight up go conception like the moment that that sperm like fertilizes that or whatever egg that's it that's the point and for me i kind of see all of those things just see semantic arguments if i was being like in reality you go when's this a person i guess once it's sort of like has its first like conscious thought or whatever right well i mean then you're like then you're like, then you're like, you know,

they say you're online as a human, but that's like three years old. Well, but that's, that's so I kind of do think that, but then you say, well, then by that logic,

you could kill a kid when it's one. It's like, yeah, but like, obviously that's going to be a hard sell. Oh, exactly. You're not going to say,

you're not. And once there's a baby there, it's like, I think you could like, you have to just make reasonable, like you got to pick some point oh well exactly you have to pick some and i think there is a point of and the problem is is that i think the points people said were pretty reasonable for a while and then they tried to start well they tried yeah they tried to be like hey why don't we go like heartbeat and then some people are like well you know what

heartbeat seems fine but why don't we just do like as long as it's in my womb and then you go well yeah but that's whatever 30 some odd weeks and like there's kids who are born premature at 20 weeks who live normal lives right so how could you argue if it wasn't alive if it was and i guess and they go as long as it's inside of me but that's when you start constructing arguments probably like you say well yeah but it wouldn't have lived without the mother or something like that right and then they go yeah but we had had to rig up this apparatus to keep it alive where it actually wouldn't have been able to. I mean, the main thing is that everybody wants us

to be such a binary simple. It's not that simple. And it's the least simple. And then there's also the sort of overarching thing of what society do you want to live in and how do you design that? And it's like, you know what I mean? So, yeah.

So I get why people think both of those things and why it's like you can have your i understand yeah i understand all both arguments 100 and also there is something to say with the states rights thing i guess where it's like okay well maybe that was the whole purpose of the country and again like you know it's like you can live with that they can decide in their states and it's like yeah you can move and people and people change their minds about this stuff too that's uh one thing i've realized like in the past is like people really are like yeah i thought this and then and then and then my my girlfriend got pregnant and she wanted and i wanted to keep it and i looked at her and she was fucking pissing me off no no it's like it's like i wanted to keep

it and she yeah oh that's one of the a guy called it last night he's like i wanted it she didn't he's like he's like there's no fucking way you're getting an abortion like he's like i wanted to keep it and yeah yeah oh that's one of the guy called in last night he's like i wanted it she didn't well that's obvious and he's like he's like there's no fucking way you're getting an abortion like he's like i don't care give it up and or like just give it to me i don't yeah you're not doing it you're not doing that's my kid did they have it yeah and then it's just good now that'd be every day you're having you're like with that kid and she's trying to tell him what to do and you're like what are you you're trying to kill her not together no no no but she's like well my mom wants this you're like, what are you, you're trying to kill her. No, we're not together. No, no, no. But she's like, well, my mom wants this. You're like, oh, well, your mom tried to kill you. Hey, your mom wanted to literally fucking execute you

in the womb, so. Yeah, she, your mom, your mom literally found out you were pregnant and then went and bought a guillotine outfit. Yeah, it's a,

it's a weird one. So that's going to be interesting to watch fucking this unfold or it won't or it'll kind of nothing will happen yeah i'm sure people in the fucking ukraine are not pumped about this either they go hey can we get back on us there are four issues ago we're we're regular people dying right now yeah there are nine issues yeah i know there it's amazing how that just kind of

was like yeah best of luck with that you got our attention you got our attention for like the maximum that you can hold america's attention which is like a season of american idol or some shit and then they're just like yeah well it's sort of not even the ultimate one to go back to the first thing which i always want to do where are they now the original where it was like there's these children that are being murdered and enslaved and all this stuff coney and then you go and then well i was kind of doing a joke about that it's like remember when there was real problems they're like hey there's these kids like being sex trafficked and murdered and everyone's like oh my god and then they were just like that was the old issues and then it turned into we need more asian movie stars and

then uh you know it needs to be james wong not james bond and then all the kids that were like getting sex trafficking were like, we're still here. And they're like, you'll get your, you'll get your preventive, we'll prevent your murders when the government pays for a man to transition, a woman to get boobs. How about that?

Yeah, it's like, it's just, it is crazy. The attention span for stuff that, like, I honestly think like if, you know, there was, I mean, I feel like that, don't you even on a personal level, sometimes you go, let's say you have a relative or whatever, that's like going through like a bad time or whatever. You're just like for two weeks, everyone's like, Oh, what can we do in this and that? And it's like, okay, can we get you money? Can we get you into like a facility?

And then it's maybe the second time you have to move on. And at some point you're just like, yeah, dude, ukraine now waving the flags sorry all right so that's that but the uh this is probably one of my there there was one article this is my one there was two things this week they were my favorites uh in one reddit thing and then one article and this this was help. My friend claims a new identity every week to get acting roles. This is the fucking best. It's a good one, right? This was, I love this one. Banger alert.

Paul Thompson. It's the banger alert. It's their show, YouTube. Check it out. So basically. I honestly saw it right this way. I go, is this Alex Stein? This is such an Alex Stein thing.

It seems like a bit. He sets up a camera in a fucking acting class oh i see what you mean i'm a new thing every week you go you they well basically they have this uh you know zoom acting club or whatever right and then they're a casting agency and they meet and they you know they're basically like a drama club yeah but they all uh put on these essentially off broadway garbage productions probably right and she goes uh one of her, one of the people in the thing, keeps changing their identities because they basically are like, you know, if you're going to be trans, you've got to be trans.

Obviously, anyone can be a white man. But if you're going to be – anyone can be a straight guy too. But a gay guy can play a straight guy. But if you're gay, you need proof of sucking dick. You need to show up to the audition with a picture of you blowing a dude kind of thing, right? This isn't fucking 2018 anymore yeah so you but this person's been doing like a missed out fire for every day every day showing up he goes yeah we're uh we got

a question for uh a trans uh africa i have just i have just the part it The day he shows up, he goes, hello. Does the mouth crack. Hello. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We have a new nanny that wants to audition here. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Also, now today we have a French non-binary. Hello. Okay, can you do a mexican accent i was recently what's up man hey what's up man i was trying to go too low i was going oh i'm latinx man okay so that's how you do that i'm here for the part of the latinx yes that's what this guy's doing right and honestly it's a don't hate the player, don't hate the game situation. I agree. I 100%. Right?

Look, you made the rules, and I'm just fucking playing by them. And it puts them in such a box because, you know, their thing is... You don't question identity. It's the cardinal sin of all. Yeah. Strict down from heaven.

It's rule one of the identity game is you can't question someone's identity. Mm-hmm. Literally rule number one. And someone goes, hey, it's a pretty easy system to game. It's a pretty easy system to game, right? Because if you ask me about my identity,

if you challenge me, then you're either admitting that the whole system is bullshit or you're a bad person. You admitted it could be scammed. Yeah, exactly. And their whole thing is they go, oh, as if people are just scamming it. And then they can't be the ones to...

Although some of them is ridiculous. Okay. Not buying it, so she says. During the pandemic, I joined an online theater community,

which is, that's code for pussy crusher community. I don't know if you know about those online theater dudes, but they're just like plowing the field.

Where we read through plays and musicals on Zoom, I write to you because i'm concerned about a friend i made when i joined the group taylor and we don't know whether taylor's a guy yeah they do they that actually annoyed me because they're kind of questioning whether taylor's non-binary but then be like i hope it's i hope it's a guy i think it's a chick also i know

taylor when i met taylor taylor had a different name and pronoun. So they switched to Taylor. So you're right. It was probably like a girl that switched to a non-binary name. Maybe. But you don't, they don't, they're very.

Well, they don't want to call it a guy or girl because it's, it's not. It's not important. Yeah, exactly. Even though it kind of is the whole story. Yeah. We'd like to know.

So she changed her name and pronouns when someone announced that they were doing a read-through of a non-binary character. So she... Oh, let's just say her name was Bill at first. So Bill, and they go, we got a non-binary role.

And she goes, that's fucking nuts. Because I'm actually neither a boy or a girl. My new name is Taylor. Bill just pulls out the clippers and just gives Bill a wacky haircut and goes... Taylor, nice to meet you. Taylor.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're non-binary? Yeah, just shaves the sides of the head. Does a couple nails. Paints a couple nails and goes... At your service. Taylor, at your service, madame. Ready to read.

All your thespian needs. Ready to read. Taylor asked to play this character, but was told they could only play the part if they were non-binary. The next day she announced non-binary. So she's kind of sick. Oh, did she say she or they?

No, no, they. They said they. Taylor. So they said this can only be a non-binary person. She goes, what a fucking nutty coincidence. This is, I've, what? What luck. Yeah, she goes, ah, shucks.

And then she comes back The next day She goes You'll never Fucking guess What happened last night I Fucking

My gender disappeared Oh yeah You gotta be a gay guy He comes back He's like Just blew a dude So here let's go Let's go

Let's go Still super bro-y Yeah we got this character Goni played by a gay guy That's so crazy Let's go. Still super bro-y. Yeah, we got this character going to be played by a gay guy. That's so crazy. Let's fucking go, boys. Ripping burps. Yeah.

Let's go. Let's go. Taylor here. Let's go. Let's go. That's too good. Good stuff, right? We have a Demi Romantic character.

Well, hello. I guess they call me Demi Romantic. Let me just Google what that means. Oh. I described it. Just my luck. Oh, that's perfect. These people are fuming, right?

They're gritting their teeth. Oh, that's so crazy. I'm not in binary, and everyone's like, oh, my God, that's so great I'm non-binary and everyone's like oh my god that's so great for you and then she's like looking at the other person winking at her

and then the one person is just sitting there it's the one real non-binary person who knows it's all a scam but they also can't say anything because there is kind of a scam too

yeah she's a damn I wish I thought of that right yeah exactly what yeah you just when did oh she goes

you can't just turn non-binary overnight it's like how did you do it overnight fuck okay busted I usually would give Oh, she goes, you can't just turn non-binary overnight. It's like, how did you do it? Overnight. Fuck. Okay, busted. I usually would give someone like this the benefit of the doubt.

People come out at a different time for different reasons, which I completely respect. So that's the thing. She's like basically can't dead name or she can't do anything. Of course. She's probably getting in trouble. Like everyone's calling her a bigot. She's like, Bill,

I mean, Taylor. And everyone's like, well, I know. However, it turns out before I met Taylor, they also wanted to play roles for the tinks people.

When turned down, they suddenly came back with a DNA results suggesting their grandmother. You go to the 23 and me. And she said that she came back basically saying she's one eighth of somewhat like probably one sixteenth, I guess. Yeah. Because her grandmother had an affair with someone that was from Brazil and she learned like from one class to the next. Yeah. They go, hey, we got this meaty part for only a Latinx or whatever.

They go, ah, they come back. He goes, I've got fantastic news everybody yeah well my grandmother was raped by a latin fellow sean king trick sean king trick yeah yeah so she pulled the sean king king trick right so that's kind of one of those things they're like hey we got a role for a native and you go fucking naughty my great-grandmother just found out she boned a chief so i'd like you i'd like to be called the chief from now on as you do yeah so uh from here on out you're gonna call me big binary that's her indian name that's her that's her native name two spirit yeah yeah i guess you go to spirit right spirits that's her rap name like two like two

pack like two spirit you know yeah she has the bandana on the front you know what i mean that's so fucking nuts because i just found out that my mom's a whore yeah hey you know sometimes the the god shines down on you god shines down on you and my mom was taking that latino dick let's go no he's didn't it's so crazy though this one gets so he's gone yeah he's gone non-binary they they they've gone non-binary. They? They've gone non-binary, and then they went to, you know, they went to Latinx, and then... Oh, actually, you know what? I figured this out. I cracked the case on It's a Woman.

Of course. Yeah, yeah. Because of the hijab. Yeah. On a different note, Taylor used to call himself an atheist, and they were offended by statements like thoughts and prayers. Of course Taylor was offended by thoughts and prayers. Now Taylor wears a hijab claims to be

muslim and posts a lot about their experiences with islamophobia after only being muslim for a day and yeah yeah so now she's a non-binary uh latinx muslim but like does she keep all the shit like she goes like are we adding them on like you're getting a new degree like a new accreditation or those like that's the old me? I think all of her stuff goes together so far because she goes, she switched to non-binary, and then she's like, I have Latinx heritage and I'm Muslim. So she's got a hijab on.

She's a non-binary. You go, why are you wearing a hijab if you're not a woman? The best would be actually if it is a guy. Dude, how fuck a guy in a hijab yeah yeah oh yeah you've been experiencing some islamophobia wearing your hijab as a dude probably from muslim people muslim men are just like fucking really giving you the gears on the islamophobia because you're a dude wearing a hijab yeah i'll tell you what these people like jabs and hijabs they're two favorite jobs what do you think in the order doabs and hijabs They're two favorite jabs

What do you think in the order? Do they like hijabs better or jabs better? Hijab Okay, they like hijab first Then the jab Then the jab second So she goes And posts a lot about her experiences with Islamophobia

And two days ago she was saying Thoughts and prayers, wow You know what I mean? You have this There is no God And now it's praise be Allah One day later When a meaty part comes up the thing is we know actors and they're crazy some of them like this they are this crazy and so hungry for so fucking hungry and like fame like

they will you know it's a classic like you know stab you in the back cut your throat like actors will do anything yeah because it is a real game like that where that's how you kind of get ahead and they've really made it into this game too where you know before is like you can just go suck a casting director's dick and now that's off the table and now it's just like hey it's all identity based yeah you can't suck a casting director's dick your grandmother had to suck a uh like a guy's dick at home depot exactly so yeah so now he's a hijab right he's showed up and they're saying like yeah i know that you're playing the mexican farmer but we also have a part for the you know the person that was not a terrorist and everyone thought they were a terrorist and then she goes that is fucking nuts let's go

yeah but the jab on ties it up let's go he chugs a beer let's go you can't drink beer that's haram that's jerzy right i can't drink beer anymore so there's basically and she's like there's islamophobia everywhere now she's like a you know she's wearing the mexican outfit the native outfit yeah just everything she's got a headdress on top of the hijab for a role in a community theater production that does that is worth mentioning too right yeah this is a role in like a community theater production no one's gonna see nobody's gonna see it's all uh just family and friends yeah we need a trans person let's go just drops the dick up on the spot i can also play an

executioner but no no no no no no just putting the music on like in the background yeah just indian well i'm also a Sikh oh did you see that uh Rob uh Doug Ford oh yeah he posted the Muslim thing so he posted the doug ford who people always all remember rob ford but doug ford was his brother who's like the governor but the the in uh in ontario canada right and um basically he switched there was like a muslim holly holiday l something is ed right and he posted all these tweets being like love the Sikh community happy holiday happy Sikh new year so whatever it was a muslim holiday happy but he's wearing all the Sikh like the orange shit he wasn't wearing the orange shit

yeah he was really he was wearing like the fucking trudeau with the orange no no one knew nobody in his thing knew Dude that's so funny They probably told him what you're celebrating And then he kind of crossed wires And like when he went to tweet it He goes Yes I'm in your shit I got some brown shit I got it

I love our brown friends That's so funny I didn't know he wore the outfit Yeah he was wearing the orange thing Holy shit I just saw the head i don't know if that's like a family guy skit where they're like hey it's the indian holiday uh you know what's an indian holiday i don't know diwali diwali yeah it's diwali and then you show up with your head dress you know what i mean and you go honestly your people this is stolen land the whole thing

and they're like what i mean in his mind he goes i go, honestly, your people, this is stolen land, the whole thing. And they're like, what? I mean, in his mind, he goes, I just want to go to the fucking Leafs game. He just wants to see the fucking Leafs play some puck, right? He wants to go to the cottage on Gay Pride. He skips every Gay Pride to go to the cottage. Oh, my God. I didn't realize that. That's funnier than I thought.

Yeah. Good shit. Yeah. He's a gaffe machine, as they say. So, yeah, yeah. yeah good shit yeah he's a he's a gaffe machine as they say uh so yeah yeah that is those guys are the best because they kind of own it because he's like yeah i'm like it's you know working class kind of guy you can pull that off a little better than like if you're a fucking mr liberal like if justin trudeau did the wrong holiday he'd probably get it a little harder oh yeah well he never would doug ford's getting it hard but he's also like, okay, what are you going to do about it?

Justin Trudeau gets it right, but he just goes way too hard. Oh, yeah, he does. I mean, he literally doesn't fucking paint his face. Yeah, exactly. So she also said that she's a cancer survivor.

She's in her early 20s. She said she's a cancer survivor. The next one's insane. Because then I'm like, what do you need to do? A heart attack is a guy thing. A heart attack's a guy thing? I mean, it's more likely to have a heart attack if you're a guy.

Yeah, that is true. Why do you think that is? Because the bigger brain pumps the blood through more? Precisely. Bigger hearts, more caring, you know? Yeah. It's a rare disorder where she cannot eat anything with iron or they faint. Or they, I keep saying she and I.

Oh, several stalker ex-boyfriends. Several stalker ex-boyfriends. So no, this was a trick. Soboyfriends so no this is a woman who had in her 20s who had a heart attack that must be insanely rare so yeah well

I mean obviously didn't she didn't yeah I don't know if I've burst your bubble just for the Danny's fished in like the rest of the people there

they go okay 23andme stuff well you think that they can say stuff like that like well actually it's more likely for men to have

a heart attack but she's like she's like I was in the Twin T towers on 9-11 and i survived you go you weren't born i was in the 2004 yeah okay yeah i was in world war one i fought in the civil war yeah for the north i was in 1812 all the things. So now she's had cancer, she's wearing a chief's hat, she's got a hijab on. But nothing worse, the worst thing is obviously the stalker. And she's basically turned everything into a one-man show,

a one-person show. One-person show. Yeah, so she's getting all the good roles and this one person's just thieving because she's sitting there, a measly non-binary who hasn't even had any stalker ex-boyfriends. Maybe that's why she got into all the costumes because of all the stalker ex-boyfriends you know yeah so she's a master of disguise situation turtle turtle turtle yeah she's also uh we had we had an animal role and turns out she's a turtle she can play any role i do like the i always like

the idea of the actor that can play any gender race or religion like he's so good he can play any role I do like the I always like the idea of the actor that can play any gender race or religion like he's so good he can play like a nine year old man or a four year old girl yeah

just the ultimate actor but the convenient the convenience of the identity traits is getting cast she's getting cast in shows it's a little suspicious

to me so she's just a little suspicious yeah honestly I'm like the person who's writing this is a fucking idiot oh yeah yeah definitely you're only a little suspicious to me. So she's just a little suspicious. Yeah, honestly, I'm like, the person who's writing this is a fucking idiot. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, definitely. Or you're only a little bit suspicious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a tad suspicious. I don't want to... Tad. Again, you can never, you know, you never want to question someone's identity.

Something is afoot here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Imagine going back to this girl's boyfriend and being like, you know, I have a hunch that something's off here and you're going back to this girl's boyfriend and being like you know i'm i have a hunch that something's off there and you gotta be like are you stupid this person who's writing this too is like after all this shit probably is flipping through the channels tucker carlson's on you go this guy makes some fucking points to top it all off they recently posted a status acting people asking people to stop

lying about their identity traits for clowns. That was my favorite part of the article. So basically, this woman goes into the thing and she's like... Close the door behind you. It's close the door behind you for sure. But also the balls of the one person's like, hey, I have something that I wanted to maybe bring up to the group. And she goes, yeah, me too. Apparently someone's been lying.

I have reason to believe that someone in this group has been, she's got the fucking chief's hat on. This would be incredible. At this point, she's got like an Irish novelty size hand on. Dressed as a rabbi, like just every single thing. I have reason to believe That someone Every time you cut away You cut back

Dressed as something totally different That someone in our midst And now I'm not gonna point fingers Points the novelty Says Irish hand Every time you cut back She's got the African hat on Yeah just totally

Something different Now I don't wanna be One to point fingers here Cut back She's got the african hat on just totally now i don't want to be one to point fingers here she's got the fucking giant african lip ring and they're like i am not there's reason to believe that someone in this very group has been lying about their identity

now if this person exposes themselves, I don't want to... And then they point it out. They go, it's the original girl that wrote the article and everyone goes, get her out of here.

They definitely get the wrong person. Now that we got that bigot out of here, let's rehearse. Now that we got that bigot out here, I will be auditioning

for the role of baby number three. Ah! Oh, that's some good shit. That is some fucking good. And she goes, do you think some of these things may be true? They're probably lies, but I feel like I should address this.

No, she should never address this ever. And this person is a hero. Yeah. And I imagine this person now runs this theater company. They're starring. That's true. It's going to take a quick second here

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like the extent to which they're close to smut. They're often, and sometimes they do do real stuff. I guess like most places. But they get close to the alien baby sometimes. They also have super clickbaity headlines where you click on the headline and you go, oh, this is nothing like the headline. Gotcha.

Like they just fake kind of. But I just thought this headline, I was chuckling to myself for four hours about it. So basically, I'm not even going to go through the article, but basically, a Guns N' Roses drummer said in an interview that he knocked out Dave Coulier once, right? The drummer for Guns N' Roses? Drummer from Guns N' Roses once said that he knocked out Dave Coulier at John Stamos' wedding. And the headline was losing his cool.

Wouldn't that be if Dave Coulier did the punching? That's why I love it. It doesn't work. Losing his cool. What do you mean? Like he lost him when he punched him?

Yeah. Isn't that great? So the headline is Losing his cool And then Oh Dave Coulier Lost his cool Like

No Someone else Lost his cool And punched Dave Coulier Isn't that great Yeah That's the kind of Yeah so anyways

There's nothing more to it Than that But it just made me laugh For half an hour I'm just like It doesn't even make sense Doesn't matter though Losing his cool

more importantly is the people who probably like there aren't 400 retweets you know yeah people be like yeah he did fucking lose his cool yeah dave coulier lost his cool after he got punched i guess yeah and then people are probably telling your friends yo you hear dave coulier punch out the drummer for guns and roses that's what you think when you saw it yeah yeah yeah remember when uh hunter collins uh like maybe eight years ago, a comedian from Toronto posted a collage of every local paper doing articles on comedians saying is no laughing matter. I know. So it's like a total NPC. Yeah, there was like, you know, kind of when they post the NPC articles, but there was 85 different articles or whatever it was from all the different newspapers of you know the

the like uh the kin mound herald yeah it says uh for so-and-so comedy is no laughing matter i know every single one is no laughing matter but telling jokes is no laughing matter or or it'll be a charity thing like you know that he's doing a fundraiser for polio. And although it's comedy, it's this fundraiser. No laughing matter. I mean, I'll give credit to the first person who ever came up with that. No laughing matter is okay. Solid.

Amazing. They go, holy shit. Yeah. They probably were like, someone's done this before. They tell you nobody's done this? You're kidding me. I'm the first no laughing matter. They're probably like, I might get a fucking Pulitzer Prize for this.

Yeah. Nobody's done this You're kidding me I'm the first They're probably like I might get a fucking Pulitzer Prize for this Yeah So Chappelle got You know The comedians are In the scope We're in the scope right now We're in the scope And this guy got on the stage Tried to tackle him

Real crappy The crazy one too Is you're like This wasn't At a club This was at the Hollywood Bowl Yeah How do you fucking get on there?

I don't know I mean I guess You can get up, right? If you just, I mean, I've been at concerts where there's tons of security, but if you find the right hole, you can pop up there, I guess. Yeah. Have you actually, there's been a few things in the last round of the NBA playoffs at Minnesota versus Memphis.

And there was like three different chicks on three different nights who got on the court. One of them chained themselves and then one of them tried to super glue their hand to the court. Really? Yeah chained themselves. Yeah, I saw. And then one of them tried to superglue their hand to the court. Really? Yeah, she basically got down. That's hilarious. She puts her hand on the court. What was her end goal? They have some protest.

Was it to be funny or a protest? No, protest. Oh, then now it's crappy again. Chicks aren't doing stuff like that to be funny. Yeah, you're right. Chicks never do anything to be funny, eh?

Yeah, they're doing that. No, I mean, that stuff is... You're right. Anytime someone does something wacky like that as a prank, it's a fucking dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, a prank is... You're right. Anytime someone does something wacky like that as a prank, it's a fucking dude.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, well, it's... Closest is like Chair Girl. Yeah. No, they're like naked and they're doing something wacky, you know? Getting tackled. So she tried to super glue her hand and...

And it did not work at all. They just picked her up. What was it for? I think some animal. I think an animal. No, they wanted to, you know... Like a PETA. Oh, animals.

In that realm, something sort of animal, something. But then the one did chain herself, and it did cause a huge delay because I was watching the Raptors playoff game that night, and the TV feed for that started like 45 minutes late because there was this huge delay in that game. Interesting. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that was the comedy part. Because the chain, that was the smart one. I respect it. They go, okay, we're going to go get bolt cutters and... Hit her with them. Yeah. Imagine they just hit her with them and they just leave her body. Okay.

This is the message for everyone. Yeah, we need the bolt cutters. We're going to play a fucking game while she just bleeds out right here. Yeah. Well, it wasn't really. It was just interesting because the protester got fucking murked. So it was kind of a win for God. They were sending a message out there.

Weird protester got murked up. A knife that looked like a gun. Apparently it was kind of a win for they were sending a message out there weird protest got murked up a knife that looked like a gun apparently it was not a gun but he tried to tackle him yeah but then you I guess you like press the button then a knife comes out of the gun why would you have a knife and Chappelle got to do what all the

what everyone was saying Chris Rock did where he made some good jokes after said the obvious stuff like it was probably a trans person or he said it was Will Smith and all this well no Chris Rock did where he made some good jokes after. He said the obvious stuff, like it was probably a trans person or he said it was Will Smith and all this. Well, no, Chris Rock did the Will Smith. He goes, Chris Rock said, was that Will Smith? And then he got, so Chris Rock kind of got to make amends. Oh, he got to make his amends.

Yeah, he got to go, was that Will Smith? Chris Rock was next. Will Smith, yeah, was on stage. Came on stage and goes, was that Will Smith? Oh, that's a banger. That's good for him. That's good for him. He got to make amends. But also, yeah, it wasn't the same for chapelle just because it wasn't will smith it's

just some deranged person yeah but chapelle got to say well as the trans protesters whatever so everyone got it was everybody got that was a win for comedy in that scenario yeah yeah comedy got yeah win for comedy a loss for security that's exactly security there's the security circles like you know every everything has like a There's security circles. Like, you know, everything has like a fucking... Security circles, yeah. Everything has like a fucking, you know,

like their Reddits and stuff and security Reddit because this is a fucking shameful day for us. Yeah. Guys, guys, if you're fucking in security...

Hang up your peppers, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're in security and you think this shit's okay, this is making us look real bad. Basically, yeah, they all like, they put their walkie-talkies

at half volume. Yeah. They all like, they put their walkie talkies at half volume. Yeah. Yeah. Solidarity. There's a lot of like fucking security, like profiles getting changed. Oh shit. So in solidarity with the abortion stuff, decided to do uh um the talk about uh

toxic masculinity but uh so uh buzzfeed's uh up to their old tricks and vice is shutting down by the way did you see that they're shutting down no they're trying to sell off all the parts i saw that they're just bleeding money or whatever i saw that so i think i might do another video um with all okay so i was looking at, you know, I did the video. I got fired from Vice or whatever, but I wanted to do another video, like kind of a sequel to that about all the stuff they've been doing recently because it was essentially, you know, saying that they're going to shut down and I'm going to lose my job. So I was going through a lot of Vice articles and they had, I've talked about a few of them

here or whatever, but one of the things I would, you know, when you're doing a bit where it's kind of like this, this, this, this, this, this, and you hit on it. So I was going to put like eight in a row,

but there was, they had, I found without working that hard, like eight articles that were all around the vein of not gay, but I boned a bunch of guys. You know what I mean? Yeah. So I love the idea of just doing like,

just that, you know, the good work that I've been doing. And it's all the articles are about like how I'm straight, but you know how straight men are actually sucking dick, right? And then the articles that I was thinking about writing, like how I went to an orgy with 95 guys, but I'm still actually probably the straightest guy I know. It's like, I'm married to a dude right now.

Is this gay? Yeah, but it's actually not gay. Why straight men are getting gay married and living with the guy and having sex with him every night? Do you think advice, they have the level of awareness where they go like,

maybe we shouldn't have done that? Or are they like, what's going on? I don't get it. No. Well, I mean, I think some people have talked. Or they go like,

yeah, see, they're abandoning abortion. Do you want to know the actual answer to that? Yeah. This is what I think. I think the people at the high end have already been paid out on all those things they knew that this was like a temporary wave they're riding and most of the smart ones got paid out of any stock that they owned and stuff like that or at least half yeah

well i mean they're big corporations on them apparently uh shane smith made a ton of money like a lot of these got he made his money 10 years ago so a lot of these people made all their money and or of, you know, used these big positions to leave while they saw the ship sinking. But I think like young people with

the mind virus are, you know, they're just soldiers, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's what I'm saying. Those, the mind virus people, like are they kind of No, they're soldiers.

They're the people out there, you know, fighting the war. They're the people that are fighting the war where it's like the olden days where they didn't know the war was over

six months ago. Yeah, yeah. And they're just blaming the culture. They go like where it's like the olden days where they didn't know the war was over six months ago yeah yeah and they're just blaming the culture they go like it's just everybody's wrong kind of well racism's so high that racism won yeah exactly yeah because i know disney owns like 20 of it i didn't know that either until i started looking into this which is interesting to me that's not a good purchase for disney i don't know do you think we could set up a tier you better off with one more roller goes do you think we could set up a tier? Be better off with one more roller coaster. Do you think we could set up a tier for the Patreon where if we hit it, we'll buy Vice? Yeah, a lot of people are tagging me saying that I should buy it. What do you think the fucking... I turn Vice into just like turn fucking straight up for the boys publication.

That would be amazing. Probably be successful. Yeah, that'd be funny stuff. But they said straight men are... But anyways, that's why I was bringing that up because they go, straight men are sharing the weird things they were told not to do because it's gay

and it's only further proof of just how archaic, fragile, and masculinity is, right? Yeah. And this is... None of them prove that, by the way. None of them... Yeah, they're just nonsense. They go...

Also, there was a super Like Trump guy at the thing At the shows this weekend in Tampa Which were super fun San Diego next weekend But there was a super gay Trump guy And I had a pretty good bit of him When I was saying he wanted Trump to build the wall And then put a glory hole in it

That's funny Not bad right What made him super gay Like he was Like was he wearing like a MAGA hat No He had I don't know JJ was talking to him Oh you just found out That's funny. Not bad, right? What made him super gay? Like, was he wearing, like, a MAGA hat? No. He had, I don't know.

JJ was talking to him. Oh, you just found out. He was gay or whatever. And he was with her. I mean, I don't know. Super gay that he was. But I'm wondering, like, was he in, like, a rhinestone MAGA hat kind of thing? I mean, mostly just the boning dudes part. That'll do it.

I think he had the accent that's it yeah and his boyfriend he was sitting on his lap blowing him during the show does that enough for you Danny yeah what accent

southern yeah um also there's another thing with that Madison Cawthorn guy which was making me think how stupid people are

where basically they were saying there was a he's the wheelchair guy right and then basically there was a big all these people were saying there was a, he's the wheelchair guy, right? And then basically there was a big, all these people were saying that he's actually gay and it was like a scandal

because they found all these basically leaked Venmo requests with his buddy and all the Venmo requests. Well, there's also a photo of him wearing lingerie. Yeah, but all of it was a joke. Yeah. Like all of this stuff was, dude, every one of my venmo requests is something no but the other ones are like the i guess with the lingerie stuff that's i think they were that's

what it started yeah but okay so i still think that was just him being a bro kind of like being funny or whatever but even if not people were posting the venmo requests like gotcha and it was just like every guy who's funny sends a funny Venmo request yeah that's like anytime I send anyone any money unless it's like something where I don't want to screw up their taxes you know what I mean sure yeah like it's always like payment for keeping the secret that you're gay yeah yeah of course like you're really on the nose you go not even you go yeah for payment for uh not telling your parents.

Restitution for what your people have been through. Brackets gay. Brackets homos. Well, yeah, they were like money for the quickie at the airport or whatever. But these are what proves their toxic masculinity won. I rejected a girl's advances. And then she said I must suck dick more than her. I told her we're equal

at about zero. So boom. And yeah but you go well that she basically so this girl stole the guy's line of being like probably a lesbian. And on top of that so a girl calling a guy gay proves that our masculinity is fragile.

These things don't generally make too much sense. When I was a kid, my dad called me a sissy because I cut a sandwich diagonally. So what do you think? That's gay or not gay

cutting a sandwich? No, that gives you more surface area. A lot of old school gay. I wouldn't do that. I'd say it might be a little girly man if you cut it into squares

like a kid. No, girly man is when you cut the crust off. Girly man's cutting the crust off. Yeah, if you cut the crust off, you go like, this guy's a little light in the loafers, huh? I remember when I was growing up, my dad, I remember specifically, it sticks with me.

Then we were at the hockey game, and the ref had really puffy hair, and he goes, when they have puffy hair, you know they're gay. I have puffy hair. It was drilled into me at a young age that the guys with puffy hair are gay. Huh. Isn't that funny? And now that I think about it, I'm like, what gay guy has puffy hair?

Also, you had puffy hair. No, that's curly hair. But it was pretty puffy. I guess it was puffy. You always used to do this stuff. I think he's talking about more of like a, I think in his mind, it's like the 80s flakacy. Oh, yeah, that kind of puffy i guess it was you had you always used to do i think he's talking about more of like a i think in his mind it's like the 80s flock oh yeah i think so yeah kind of what you i don't know you told me a puffy haircut was gay i don't know 90s were a while time yeah so i don't think puffy

hair is gay but i don't also think that uh okay we say you're a little light so that's our so that's what i was my whole thing was i think we decide if they're actually gay or not yeah um i was saying that uh cutting yeah cutting the you hit it a nail in the head cutting the crust off yeah but diagonally that's just a smart way to cut a sandwich she goes our masculinity is fragile because i sing a lily allen song during karaoke and people called me said that was gay or whatever right yeah so i think this falls into the category of not because they also said another one was use a straw so i used a straw and people say you're gay so that you know it's funny they go i use a straw and he goes i was drinking boba tea yeah boba tea's not straw's not gay but there is guys that have said that like

i'm not i'm so straight i'm not gonna you know that's like a black guy thing where i don't use a straw because i don't if you drink with the straw with your tongue out that's gay so you again danny's hit the nail on the head again because in my opinion it is not about how you do the straw or it's not about what if you do the straw it's about how you do the straw you're like this we go yeah exactly right provocative way of yeah and then the same with lily allen if you're kind of singing willy lily allen uh ironically you know big burly guy and you're like and he makes me smile you're kind of you're having fun you know now you're a fun guy yeah but if you're up there and you're just in it yeah if you're singing you know christina aguilera karaoke and you are in it unless you are you're not even reading the words like you go you need help with the words you go not at first

he sings that for a while like if you're doing that and then it makes me smile it makes me smile that's lily allen so if you're doing that so I would say anytime any guy does this it's a little lighten the lighten the light this is great like if you do the hand thing where you're kind of

doing the notes if you plug one ear I'll plug one ear but you actually have nothing in the on either side yeah for sure

so any breathy singing so if you're singing like the Whitney Houston, like, and I will always love you. If you sing it like that. But if you start getting breath involved, you go. And I will always love you. Any breathy singing? Yeah. I would say, and let's not even say gay.

I would just say. We can't. A little feminine. Yeah. A little feminine yeah a little feminine where you go if your boy who is you know Mr. fucking athlete

gets on stage and he starts like you know snapping while he's singing Spice Girls oh for sure it's a little different than you know

him and the boys singing Spice Girls because it's funny if you're singing a really feminine song it's inherently kind of funny yeah that's

generally the point why you pick it. Right. Unless you're like, no, no, no. I'm dead serious. What are you guys laughing at? Tell me what you want. I want to, I want to, I want to. Yeah, you're the guy that does that.

You and your friend of the sanguineous. I want to, I want to. And you're doing it. Yeah, yeah. It can get a little. And you're arguing about who gets to be scary spice and who gets to be posh spice and you want to be posh spice

and then you that's a red spot yeah yeah yeah well you might be right yeah you might be yeah so if you're gonna say that I mean

I don't think it's that crazy where if you go if I saw a guy doing that I go oh your buddy's gay yeah and I bet you I'd be right a lot of the time that's the thing

these people never want to admit that you go okay well what if we're right though using a straw not a straight man but back in my bartending days, I asked a man if he wanted to see a dessert menu. He was like, if I wanted dessert, I'd order wings like a real man. Yeah. So I think that, uh, that's the first one where you go, if you're ordering wings for

dessert, it's a little fragile masculinity. That is real. That's yeah. Yeah. If I, uh, y'all have some some dessert give me a 32 ounce ribeye please you know you had a 64 ounce ribeye for dinner i go do you not hear me yeah really fucking really compensating for something you're definitely compensating a little bit at the very or or dessert you're jordan peterson you can only you be like, I am on the carnivore diet.

What's your problem? Well, that leads to my second question. Is dessert inherently a little girly? I mean, no. No? Oh, yeah, because you didn't like that question. I'm fucking Dolly Parton over here. I forgot how much of a dessert boy you were.

See, I almost never order dessert. I don't actually. The most I do is take a bite of the girls. I don't order dessert very often, but I like dessert. Yeah, you do. I do like dessert, but I don't. You order it. I feel like you're the type of fruitcake that goes to a separate place just for the dessert.

No, no, no, no. Definitely don't do that. Because you heard about this to die for spot. No, that's more JJ. Across town. That's more JJ. There's this to die for spot where No, that's more JJ. Across town. That's more JJ. There's this to die for spot. We can get dessert on the Upper West Side.

No, not like that. I will go somewhere far for a meal, and then ideally they have dessert there, and then sometimes I'll get it if I'm not too stuffed. All right. Yeah. I'm not against dessert. Stuffed with dicks.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not against dessert. I usually just stuff my face with the main and the most. Ordering wings like a real man, we'll say, we'll give them one there. We say masculinity is a little fragile. Yeah, that's a compensation. The one time at summer camp, this guy who'd just

been swimming in the lake told me, you could tell how cold the water was by looking at how hard his nipples were, but don't stare too long, he said, because that's gay. You were the one who told me to look in the first place so that's basically like a scene from a gruber yeah i don't get who's gay in this scenario well the guy's coming that's me saying to you hey you can tell how cold it is look at my nipples and then goes hey don't stare too long so we'd have to have more information on that one if i was like oh you can tell look how hard my nipples are you can tell

how cold it is and then you stared for like four or five seconds. I'd go, okay, I think you saw it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he goes, what? You gave me permission to look. This is just a weird interaction between weirdos. It doesn't prove anything. They had sex that night. Playing as a female video game character, I'd say, is a little gay.

Yeah, sometimes I played as Princess in Mario Kart. Yeah, and also at Mortal Kombat, you might be like Sonya or something like that. get stuck with them i mean i'm not playing fucking but if your go-to is a girl not a guy it's a little little yeah yeah there's there's questions to be asked right if you're what it's just because usually they actually use in the thing it is princess too in in mario kart yeah okay so not gay yeah not gay not gay not gay not not not not gay not gay and the last one i was told using the word assumption made me gay so that is the word ass in it so it is gay so i'm moving on yeah i mean you forgot the turn signals which is insane this guy thought big words might make me intellectual in his mind intellectual equals

gay so assumption is not a big word so yeah that one's just stupid well that's that's when you know you're dealing with dumb people because dumb that is a dumb guy thing to be like oh that's fucking gay and you go oh you think assumption's a big word huh yeah assumption oh mr harvard professor and then you had one when you're using turn signals using turn signals is gay uh using turn signals and not as some sort of euphemism which it's not a euphemism nobody's been like hey you're a fucking uh jerry over here uh uses turn signals if you know catch my drift you know what i mean he uses he likes to turn signal if you catch yeah you're picking up what i'm putting down because but literally using them while driving to turn or change lanes

i'm i will say to you i was never the hugest turn signal guy you can imagine. Yeah, I used them occasionally. I've also crashed a ton. Yeah. The best is the comment. Failed my driver's license five times. Me too, actually. The best is the comment, though,

and it goes, someone's commented to this, and it goes, what? So not breaking the law is gay? Oh, that comment is a little over the top. A little sassy. No, they have the ministry of truth now to decide who's gay. They need a of truth now to decide who's gay. They need like a ministry of like gay to decide who's gay.

They make a list, like an old school. Just a master list. They have a master list. Every gay American. Once you get on that list, it is not easy to get off. Yeah, but it has nothing to do with rights or anything. All it is is just like, you know, it is what it is. Yeah.

It's a positive list of anything and you're like i'm not gay though you go why it's a problem it's a good thing to be on there i wonder if they thought that before you sang that lily allen song yeah i wonder if they're like fuck it's not good everybody keeps calling it the ministry of truth they don't like it what well it's not called it's the disinformation yeah but the ministry of truth is from 1984 or whatever but they're probably like ah fuck people keep calling it

the Ministry of Truth well it's pretty close yeah no I know that they were idiots with the Disinformation Governance Board what are they doing I have no idea

there's something people that have been wrong this is what I wanted to do a video about that one that they were wrong they've been wrong the people that you know it's like

I mean the head of it literally fucking they've been wrong tons and tons of times she said that the Hunter Biden laptop she had an okay excuse for that one well she said she was live tweeting yeah i'm not saying it's uh like mine doesn't want to get on the bad side of the disinformation i'm not saying i'm not saying it's true or not true what she's saying i'm just saying as far as excuses go that's not the worst excuse but whatever the government's either

way who's the fucking arbiter of truth i mean who do we even she is yeah exactly but that's not the worst excuse but whatever the government either way who's the fucking arbiter of truth I mean do we even need to say she is yeah exactly but that's what I mean obviously like

you know what she's gonna be she's gonna be the arbiter of mainstream consensus yeah that's what he's gonna fucking be yeah

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cast okay this is the best reddit we've had in a while am i a star seed so five or six different people message me being like you have to check this out. And me and Danny did a deep dive on star. This is by the way, if you ever go to a fucking fish or grateful dead concert, these are all star seeds, a lot of star seeds. So star seeds,

if you want to know what they are, star seeds are highly advanced spiritual beings and souls that originated from distant planets, solar systems, and galaxies typically far from Earth. So it's kind of women are from Venus, right? Yeah. But they've made a thing where they go, I'm just like a wacky old soul.

They've decided that, well, the thing about me is I was actually a soul from a different galaxy that was sent here, and I don't even belong here. Yeah. And they said there's 77 million star seeds on earth right now so it's and they go can you believe it's only that low and they go okay quite a few star seeds let me guess none of them are in china no all the stars yeah how many stars yeah how many star seeds are in like the middle east oh zero that's weird they're all important how many are in africa zero weird it's crazy there's no crazy there's no star seeds at all. Well, they would argue that they probably don't know that there's star seeds.

Oh, okay. I guess, right? Fair enough, yeah. Because you know, I'm not in... How did they get the number? I guess it was beamed to them. They go, there's 77 million of your brothers and sisters on Earth. Go find them.

I have no idea how they got that number. That's a pretty good point where they're coming up with their star seed statistics. I guess maybe they take Portland and then they have how many people self-identify as starseeds they times that number by the population of the world yeah so these evolved souls carry a multitude of wisdom within along with special abilities and gifts so this is it's kind of a girl being like he's like why are you fucking doing all this stuff it's like well i'm from a different planet so yeah i'm not gonna fit into your system you know what i mean hey could you clean up the house you go yeah well as they're grumbling like on my planet you know you wouldn't

fucking dare tell me that on my fucking planet yeah you wouldn't have to tell me if it wasn't my home planet hey you've been dragging dirt all over the floor. You go, yeah, well, we don't even have floors. Everything's dirt there, so fuck. Hey, you don't know how to use this computer program very good, eh? Or your job. You're like, hey, we really need you to learn this. It's like, fuck, this prehistoric program. We're using light beams.

It's like me playing Pong right now. Yeah, these people don't work. These evolved souls carry a multitude of wisdom it's estimated there's 78 million here on earth less than one percent of the earth's population so about you know one in 150 people is starseeds kind of situation within the small number though they are believed to be more than 19 different types of starseed and starseed beings so there's starseeds right and left compared to according to these people and then so this is the article i'm reading about what starseeds, then we'll go through some of the starseeds comments.

But so we have to find out if me and Danny are starseeds because they give you a test to find out if you're starseeds. I've been to a fish concert. I'm not a starseed. You don't think you're a starseed? No. According to this test, basically anyone who takes the test is a starseed.

Oh, okay. The test is incredible. Generally, you can tell just by looking at someone do you ever feel like you don't even belong on this planet that's all that kind of stuff right okay so have you ever experienced homesickness not really no okay well either of i really but if you experience oh you never did toronto you've never kind of missed being missed i like going back you never missed it you never missed your friends in Toronto

or family in Toronto or anything like that? Or your life in Toronto at all? No, no, no, really. I'm not like homesick. I've been like, Well, you're not sick. Well, some people are like fucking crying in tears being like,

I want to go home. I miss my mom. That's how I define homesickness. I'm like, I want to go home. I hate this. The only time I've ever felt that probably is if I'm really, really cold. Like, let's say you agree to go like snowshoeing or something like that. And you're like two miles into the forest and it just gets so cold and windy.

And you're just like, yeah, I think I'm homesick. This is what homesickness is. Because I don't like being out here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something like that. Okay, so if anyone who feels homesick is a starseed. So Ryan's a bit more of a starseed than me. I guess I'm more of a starseed.

Well, you're. Check for Ryan. He sounds like you're the complete opposite of a starseed. So Ryan's a bit more of a starseed than me. I guess I'm more of a starseed. Check for Ryan. He sounds like you're the complete opposite of a starseed, where you're just like, I'm basically a robot that was designed here. Yeah, I am. Yeah. Okay, so if you love extraterrestrial shows and programming, you ever listen to Aliens? You ever watch Aliens?

I like Coast to Coast. Do you like Aliens vs. Predators? The movie? No. Okay. I haven't seen it. I like Coast to Coast. What about the Jetsons?

Did you like that? No. Okay. I like Coast to Coast. What about the Jetsons? Did you like that? No. Okay. I like Coast to Coast. What about Ghostbusters? Did you like Ghostbusters? I had when I was six years old. I had the plastic Ghostbusters backpack.

Starseed. Starseed. Starseed. Busted. Busted. So if you love extraterrestrial shows and programming, you might be a Starseed. So that's why it's like you're basically watching, you know, you never watched x-files or anything like that oh mr mr mr you're not super into it but i like x-files i saw some episodes but more importantly i've watched coast to coast which

is like they listen to coast to coast they talk about that show so now we find out that danny is a star seed and they said i'm a star seed yeah yeah um what. I can't think of a good star song. I mean, I just did the best one. What's that one? The Weeknd? Oh, that's it. I'm a star seed. Wait, he has a song called I'm a star seed?

No, Star Boy. I'm a star seed, yeah. I'm not coming up with anything good. Nothing coming. I kind of got the best one. You kind of nailed it. That's the real star seed move of you, of got the best one you kind of nailed it that's this a real star seed mood of you to have the best stars okay if you're empathetic so do you find yourself having empathy or do you like to see

animals getting tortured I guess I could be empathetic. Two for three on the Starseed chart right now. Uh-oh. So this is this chart where they make girls do a survey. They go, are you thinking of yourself empathetic? Yeah, this is Scientology for women right now. Hey, would you fill out the thing? You're a Starseed.

These are really vague. If you're empathetic, you might be a Starseed. Are they vague? They seem pretty specific, actually. If you're empathetic and sometimes feel homesick, you might be a starseed. Are they vague? They seem pretty specific, actually. If you're empathetic and sometimes feel homesick, you might be a starseed. Oh, this is the... Freedom seeker.

Of course. So if you're a freedom seeker... I am a freedom seeker. Did you love Vax Mandates? I love them. I love freedom. He doesn't want to be called a starseed. But this is a funny one

because it almost puts a little bit of a damper. Because obviously this stuff was sort of old school hippie freedom. I'm just like a free gal, you know? I don't want to be locked down to a job, for example, right? Yeah. And then you'd say to them, you'd be like, oh, so you agree that maybe the Vax Maynards are in the... No. No, I like the Vax Maynards.

And you go, oh, I guess you're just not a starseed. No, but that's the whole thing. That was the bizarre thing about this all was that it was the fucking the hippies and the the right-wing people were like right we agree but some hippies yes but hippies were at a crossroads where they had to decide whether they became you know kind of a freedom person or they became like a a government loving hippie yeah but they weren't though that's what i'm saying they're that's some of them went that's how so many like went so right like do you think most deadheads were all all like pretty they i'm sure some of them got vaxxed because they're just like for whatever reason but i'm

sure they're not like yeah we need to fucking i mean some of them for sure were gotcha but there's like the real hippies were like you know well anti-vaxxed okay but there's also like the live laugh love people that would be into be calling themselves star season it's just funny saying they'll never they're not a star seed because they don't, love people that would be into be calling themselves starseeds. And it's just funny saying they'll never, they're not a starseed because they don't have freedom, people. That's true. You've had a triggering major trauma life event, which doesn't even make sense. Why would that make you a starseed that, you know, I was beat up when I was younger. Well, if you're a woman, then you've had many of those just by design.

I guess. Being alive. But yeah, you're right. This is like some fortune teller bullshit. No, it's cold reading. Like, dude. Oh, you're intuition is strong. Like, again, like you're intelligent and love like some fortune teller bullshit where you say oh it's cold reading like dude oh you're intuition is strong like again

like you're intelligent and love learning so you like holistic so when someone goes no I'm not intelligent I hate learning yeah it's like there's no

there's no option of a different you like babies children and animals and they like you back so girls are star seeds you're fascinated with astrology

you're you're into conspiracy theories. So that's another one where you'd have to say your average live, love, live, laugh, love girl isn't a starseed. And you're vegetarian or vegan.

You feel drawn to crystals and you read about starseeds. So we just, well, we just read about it. So go to a lot of a fish show or something or like Bonnaroo, some shit. This is fucking, there's a million of these.

There might be 77 million. Actually, now that you say it. 77 million starseed? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'd be fun to have your significant other believe that she's from a different planet. Weird that they have dreadlocks on here. Nasty dreadlocks? You sport nasty dreadlocks. Or do you get them after you realize?

Non-traditional hairstyles. Or do you get them after you realize that you're a starseed? Yeah, after you realize you're a starseed. It's that. Earth is the only place where you get sent to a mental... So this is a Reddit thread. So this person has a bit of a beef that she's airing out to some of the other starseed. Earth is the only place where you can get sent to a mental hospital for having psychic powers,

and you're a starseed. So this person's in a mental hospital right now tweeting. They don't even realize that I'm a starseed. I know. Because then I have my psychic powers and you're a star seed. So this person's in a mental hospital right now tweeting. They don't even realize that I'm a star seed. I know. Because I have my funny too. Cause you go, Hey, they gave you 20 opportunities to just prove your psychic powers.

If you could just, yeah, I can't do it on command. It's not on command. It's not on command. She's going to do some, she's in the courtroom and she's like, ma'am,

if you, uh, do you really believe that you're from a different planet or you know your family's getting worried uh they want to lock you up at least have to have you know for a couple days and then she goes well how about you i'll see you in shit okay i'm a little rusty right now why don't you make that uh cup move over there and she's like I'm a little rusty right now. It's like, why don't you make that cup move over there?

And she's like, fuck. And then she goes, yeah, well, I already know you're going to send me into mental prison because I have starseed abilities. Can you really be a prison though? You know, it'd be good if you could convince girls that you're a starseed, that are starseeds and be like, I'm getting a message from the other world that says I'm gonna get blown by you what the fuck do you know what that means i'm not really i'm new with my starseed thing have you ever had something like that where you just saw an image of me getting blown over behind the porta potty she goes i don't believe it no no it's saying uh you're gonna want to stick a crystal up my ass while you're doing it it's she goes oh that sounds pretty legit i

don't know are you familiar with the starseed thing Because I'm getting Like a bit of a vision Of tonight You convincing Three of your Starseed buddies To blow me back to back Does that mean anything to you Sorry I blacked out

Did I say anything What happened I don't know What planet What planet are you from And they're like You know Zachtagon

And you go Shut the fuck up Stop it I was also from My dad was from Zoctagon holy shit you're you're kidding me you're also from Zoctagon yeah I thought I was the only person I've never met another person from Zoctagon unzip zip please open so these are the kind of things that this this person's getting into she's going to jail uh then another person says are we star seeds brackets basically angels and demons that decided to incarnate as humans?

So a lot of them don't know whether they're sort of from a different planet or they're angels and humans from a different realm sort of. It's funny too, because you could tolerate a female starseed. I've met many, but the guys are absolutely insufferable.

The guys stink more? Oh, the worst. Because girl starseeds is kind of just like hippie girl shit that you're you know yeah whatever

what are the guy star seeds that are more annoying wandering around just I mean it's just I think just a generally are those kind of the guys

that do the weird dance yeah there was a guy a fish this is a perfect example I saw a fish in Madison Square Garden and everybody in like the pit was dancing

they're just like whatever dancing around enjoying and then he was watching fucking fish for I'm not even kidding you, I kept looking at him for an hour like this. He was going. He had his hands up in the air?

He was receiving the music. He had his hands open, palms receiving it. He was, Trace, Trace, sing to me. It was like having a religious experience. He was receiving it. There's so many times where I go, he's might be sending it back to his other world so they can experience. He's like an antenna.

Cause they're like, this is probably why they sent me here to get this message. I'm an antenna for fucking Zorg. Dr. Gone or whatever. But like everybody was fucking Dan and he's just like, Oh, that's good stuff.

Receiving the music. It was what he was doing. I just, I'm a vessel for the music. It was. What he was doing. I'm a vessel for the music. Right. Just receive it. Just receive it and give it back down to the earth. Yeah, so you're saying, okay, I can understand why you think Guy Starseeds might be a little more annoying. This person says, I had a dream one night after I jerked off.

So this is a Guy Starseed and a reptilian devil wizard. All the Guy Starseed stuff's about them cumming. Yeah, it's all cum-based. All the guy starseeds about them fucking... And a reptile devil lizard woman came to me and told me that starseeds are demon seeds and she was naked and had my sperm on her breasts.

She stole the sperm and said, if you masturbate, you leave the seed on the ground or better ground demons will come and get it and use it to make evil spiritual larvae and astral parasites that they attach to people so is it that is that's the question after all the question is like so do you guys think that's what we are anyone else experiences pretty specific right yeah pretty specific right so uh what do you think guys is that what we are anyone else experience this pretty specific right yeah pretty specific right so uh what do you think guys is that what we are and the other yeah the girls are like

what's it what's it so they're sort of like I'm just a vessel for empathy Yeah that's good jam music There was that one Yeah Burt Nielsen band was the one that I liked And then Martin Madesky Wood's my favorite jam band Jazz funk

I thought Martin Madesky Wood was the best jazz funk Yeah and then So all the other star seeds are there and being like star seeds I'm just feel the empathy

and I'm in touch with children and just the animals love me birds come to me and they all fly and they land on your arms

birds come to me just the holistic remedies and the other guy's like hey I got some demon angel woman that i just cummed on her tits i'm thinking that's kind of being a big part about being a star seed right it was a fucking cum everywhere that's so funny that is that's what starseeds are doing Hey I just guys

Fucking stop the music I just cummed on an angel From her tits Yeah that guy runs in he's yelling and screaming Everyone like the town crier trying to get everyone's attention But they're too wrapped up in the music There's this devil woman Man

Chill out man I actually enjoy just feel the vibes bro that's the thing because I'm like someone just puts an acetab in his mouth and closes his mouth

for him it's funny because I like the music but then I kind of hate the scene I love the scene no but I don't hate the scene

you're a star seed but I do get a lot of enjoyment when I go to these shows because there's so much shit that I can just laugh at I love the scene. No, but I don't hate the scene. You're a star, dude. But I do get a lot of enjoyment when I go to these shows because there's so much shit that I can just laugh at. I love stuff like that, too. But I do like the music, but then I see all the stuff, I go, oh, that's hilarious.

Well, that's how I feel about protests or any big gathering with thousands of people. I spend half my time people watching. Exactly, yeah. I had a buddy that sold the helium things at festivals. He used to go sneak into Grateful Dead. Yeah, he used to sell the balloons in the parking lot. Oh, man, that's the funniest.

Man, you leave a fucking Grateful Dead concert at Madison Square Garden or Fish, and they're all like, because the cops are trying to break them up and this weird game of cat and mouse, and then you see all these guys that are fucking up against a wall with eight balloons. Oh, yeah, crackhead thing, yeah. They thing yeah like shaking but it only lasts for three minutes or yeah less and

they're just like and you're like are you okay yeah i'm a starseed i'm a starseed man it's just all about empathy and i'm do you feel the waves you feel the earth's gravitational i just come in this bitch's eyes. And she's got devil horns on. Stop the music. And there's blood. And she's blood. And she said that she's going to use my sperm to attach to people to turn them into devils.

What do you guys think? He's getting bumped around in the pit by the people. By the way, number one most upvoted comment to this thing is, what the fuck? Stop it. Yeah, look at this. So the starseed said no. So this guy had this crazy thing, and he goes,

because the last thing, he goes, many people that you meet in the physical world, if you have dreams of them in the spirit or astral plane, you can see their real form or their spiritual form, and they may even look remotely human. Either they are demonically possessed, demonically oppressed, or perhaps they are starseeds. The demons that are the oppressed demons? The woman woman in israel who is the great

granddaughter of the great kabbalist was a queen in the spiritual realm and she has all this nonsense and then just the number one comment what the fuck most upvoted comment all right so this guy is definitely not a star and it was from someone whose thing is astral traveler so this guy is in the way he's in the game yeah what the fuck are you talking about dude astral travelers not astral travelers no no it's none of this none of this no you're making this look bad this next person says is loss of loss of interest in food and ascension symptoms so a big part of it is they think that eventually they're going to ascend yeah to their old planet right like they were just sent down here to send a message and then they're going to

go so a lot of times when they're boom maybe that's the guy who's receiving the music he was no he's trying to get sent up back to his old planet he goes come on come on beam me up he like opens one i'm ready yeah yeah he goes I'm ready Yeah so Anytime That's a bullshit It's like the Haley's bop Haley The

Heaven's gate Yeah That's what they thought Was gonna happen to them When they drank all the Kool-Aid And fucking with the Nikes That's the classic cult business Right you go

You think you're gonna ascend You could probably That's any girl that thinks She's gonna ascend You could convince to do anything You know what I mean Yeah You go you know what

We need to expedite your ascension Let's try some shit you know what if we bring five girls here at poison what if we bring five different girls into our relate you you round me up five girls and the five of you all have sex with me and then uh we'll see if that god likes that as an offering yeah we're really doing it for him and i will channel his dick so we are really giving him the win. You're getting fucked by God you're basically getting fucked by God and we'll see if he likes this offering it's always dumb playing

it's always dumb playing it's not a good episode for me to be wearing my grateful that's why i forgot you wearing the dead sweater yeah we're gonna be some fucking jam-based forum being like this guy's fucking making fun of us yeah shit so they said um i don't feel like eating anything especially uh the time that i recently underwent 30 hours plus intermittent fast to detoxify and she wasn't even hungry also i'm having frequent diarrhea so is diarrhea something yo is diarrhea on the list no no this is no no danny it's this it's you running through the festival everyone's thing and you're running through the festival because you got his shit

really bad you go star seed coming through guys move it move it star seed emergency star seed emergency star seed emergency my girlfriend's uh also you know what else would know what is a uh diarrhea is a symptom of tons of drugs yes that's right why do i have diarrhea it's like because you fucking haven't eaten 40 uh 40 hours And you're blasted On fucking cocaine My girlfriend And her brother They're really into

This band The Disco Biscuits And they They told me a story That one time On the floor Of some show Someone just took

A huge shit Oh it's a star seed Move right there Like just right In the middle of the concert Just someone took A fucking They just couldn't

They just couldn't hold it And they took a shit And then everybody Do you think that they Wanted to go to the bathroom But they just couldn't Miss the fucking tune Or yeah He was receiving everybody was like do you think that they wanted to go to the bathroom but they just couldn't miss the fucking tune or yeah

he was receiving the music probably or it's just one of those things where you go yeah I'm shitting right now and that's it that's that she's like buddy

it's coming out I would there's nothing I'd love more to go to that urinals but I'm fucking a vessel for another world to receive boom boom

and then they put we're playing And then they were playing some The band started playing some jam Some jam about shitting on the floor Shit in the pit I think was it Really Yeah they started They made some song off the top Shit in the pit

And then they all cleaned it up That's great They all cleaned it up Like some hippie commune shit No no no Security game Everybody take a scoop Everybody

Roll up your sleeves It's time We gotta do this together We do this together. Come on, everybody. Togetherness. And we're cleaning. We're cleaning.

We're cleaning. We got shit in the pit. That's how the songs all sound. We got shit in the pit. Shit in the pit. We got shit in the pit. That's a very good jam, man. We got a good jam, man. We got a good jam, man.

Replicate going on. We got shit in the pit. Come on, everybody. We got shit in the pit. Go low now. We got shit in the pit. Everybody now. Shit in the pit. And then everybody starts clapping.

Shit. All right. All right. Okay, a couple more. Is it disrespectful to call extraterrestrials aliens? We got a bit of a woke Starseed. So this is the Starseed that probably has a problem with the vaccine stuff, right? She's probably been having a bit of a... Yeah, well, they...

Her freedom personality. Her body's her temple. Yeah, exactly. But her freedom personality has probably been a little bit of a contrast with her, you know, let's not be problematic, right? Right, right, yeah. I've heard that it's a little disrespectful

to call extraterrestrials aliens. Is that true? So that's going on in the Starseed community, a little bit of whisperings. They're called aliens. Like, what are you... What is this, 1985? Oh, my God god i've heard um that is also good because you know most of the time the fables of aliens when they abduct you like no good comes of that right yeah it's just going up your ass it's

going up your ass every single time right we got shit in the star scene. Shit going up your ass. Shit going up your ass. Yes. So you're basically getting probed and you're like, please, aliens. I'm so sorry. Excuse. Hey, Carl, did you just hear what he called us? No, they're doing their votes.

What did you just call me? What did you just call me? By the way Best answer I don't know if you saw this That is I'm so offended right now Can you believe what I'm dealing with?

Wow No he goes Wow He goes Wow In 2000 Wow In 2000

No it's more like It's like In 16 8 4 5 We still Take this abuse in 4, 5, 5, 6, year of the year of our jargon. By the way, someone answered this question. Okay, what did they say?

They go, some care, some don't. If you were interacting with an extra- Depends if you got like an alien that just went to college or not. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. They just finished their fucking first year of gender alien studies. Alien gender alien studies. If you're interacting with an extraterrestrial,

you could try asking for their species name so that if you ask them questions, there isn't any confusion on things. Literally the... While you're getting probed. It's the gender. It's the same thing. You ask them what their gender is.

Yeah, what's your species? Their pronouns. Mm-hmm. Species is just pronouns for... So there you go. Now you're getting probed. It's the gender. It's the same thing. You ask them what their gender is. Yeah, what's your species? Their pronouns. Species is just pronouns. So there you go. That's very good to know. Yep. Starseeds Among Us.

Sometimes I go to a shop or a cafe and it comes to my mind that people who work there could be starseeds that just aren't aware of their journey. So, I mean, this is like walking around and she's sort of having like a, fuck, that could be a starseed, that could be a starseed. Like kind of in those movies, right? Where you're like, not and she's sort of having like a fuck that could be a star seed that could be a star seed like kind of in those movies right where you're like not sure who's an alien then you see the one guy like like uh independence guy yeah so that's she's living her life like um that but you're right in the vegan hippie community it's probably really easy to pick up girls with like star seed shit yeah so i recommend any hippie dudes to be a vegan hey you just walk up i up it was one of the

things on the list someone's just eating granola at like some hipster hippie hippie cafe and you walk up and you go starseed hi i'm right how did i know how did i know let me guess and you just go you go they go they don't even know we're from a different galaxy alpha centauri uh no it's that you go you know it's funny people here don't even know When you're from a different galaxy She goes How did you know He goes Hi I'm Ryan

We all know don't we Mind if I sit Yeah yeah yeah Hi Can I get two chia puddings Please Thanks Two chia puddings

And a matcha latte Thanks Two chia puddings And a matcha latte Hi I'm Daniel Name's Daniel That's my human name Name's Daniel That's my human name.

Name's Daniel. That's my human name. You probably already knew that. He just seems so empathetic, dude. So have you always braided your armpit hair? Or is that it? You know, they used to do that on Zaragon. You know what?

Let's not talk star seed business. You know, I am telling you. And then the last one I'm going to do. Amazing. Hello. I wanted to tell you I've been taken to ships by a blonde haired ET. It was two days ago and I'm thinking it could be a dream, but it was so real. So some of the star scenes actually think they were abducted.

Yeah. So that's an interesting one. And then you come running back. You go, oh, guys, I was just taken by a ship and I was gone for two days. And everyone's like, bro, you were asleep for half an hour. Dude, that was fucking set break. Dude, you were gone for seven minutes, bro. That was one balloon. You were gone for seven minutes, bro.

Fucking hippies. Yeah. Well, there you have the episode, gentlemen. Danny, take us out. Yeah, come here. Ladies and gentlemen, San Diego next weekend. Yeah, you too. At Ryan Long Comedy.

At Danny Jokes. At Danny Jokes and at Ryan Long Comedy. And Patreon, we just had a live stream this week you could still listen to it after the fact we just had a live stream at the patreon listen to it after the fact and five dollars a month extra episode leave us review on our tunes