The Boyscast with Ryan Long - AMERICA NEEDS A DIVORCE

Episode Date: June 18, 2021

The fellas came back from Nashville with some stories and a recommendation for America. Also Hollywood getting into podcasting, Fats on Planes, and more.  As always 2nd Episode a week up at patreon.com/theboyscast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And you can tell our friends, and they can have my things when we're dead But we don't end forever, but we don't end forever Welcome to The Boys Cast For those of you who don't know, the first podcast exclusively for The Boys Reached 600 patrons Sick So, I'm gonna shout out to the $20 and $50 Oscar Svensson for the boys real name yes

maybe tilden cats rice on we go with a stage name just uh type of guy from breaking bad puts rice on your drink straight up mo and jared allen those guys high support level appreciating the squad and i think i should do a boy's tip so that's what i'm going to start out with and this is an old school tip for the boys some of you might be sleeping and you're sleeping with your chick and she's you know how girls you know how girls be cuddling you know you know how bitches be trying to cuddle you be trying to sleep they be twitching legs and shit so this is what you do and they can't because they'll always creep over right you start in the middle of the bed and then before you end up uh you know you wake up at 3 a.m and you're doing cliffhanger off the

side of the bed essentially so what you do and this is you have to put your bed in the middle of the room you can't be a corner guy which is you know grow up you don't need a corner anyway right you put uh she pushes you over and then as soon as she falls asleep, you get up and then go and then sleep on the other side of the bed. Switch sides. It's not a bad move. The ultimate boy's move. So then she wakes up.

I mean, the ultimate boy's move is getting her own goddamn apartment. Well, that's the thing, though, because they'll keep pushing and pushing, right? Yeah. But they'll keep pushing up against you, so eventually they'll just fall off the bed. So there's two points. One, they'll wake up and you'll get a good night's sleep. Or two, they fall off the bed and you say,

did I prove my point? See? See, that's what happens. Stay on your goddamn side. See, what I like to do. That's what I deal with. What I like to do is I draw an actual line. And just keep the guy on the other side.

Yeah, go stay on the other side, buddy. Yeah, also, in addition to Based Fauci in the studio, we have Based Harry. Based Princess Harry. My life's a bitch! He actually got lessons from Albany. He's been doing that. Based Harry's been

keeping his girl on the other side of the bed. What's Harry been getting up to? He has some boys' tips, too. He was saying that you don't take small steps you ever see those guys that sometimes that's one of the most things i notice when you watch a guy taking really small steps like jiver i don't know if you do this but a lot of times when i'm walking i'll match my steps to the guy like just for some weird reason it's almost like a ocd thing i sync up my steps with the guy. Well, you'll cause you'll. Oh, you're saying just like if you're walking with a friend or anyone, right?

You sort of look at if you're walking behind a guy, like naturally you'll notice like who's doing. Oh, you're saying just a stranger. It's just a stranger. Oh, I know. And then always, if you notice the wienery or the guy, the smaller the steps, even if it's like a big tall guy with long legs, they'll take wienery steps. You'll notice. Because they're almost like prancing. There's a racial component to this as well.

My favorite, Chris Robinson has the funniest joke. A comedian from Toronto, a black guy. He goes, man, black guys walk the slowest. And you notice it when there's some old Chinese dude on a fucking 95-year-old dude with a walker and he's just blowing by. He's like man black guys walk the slowest he's like and you notice it when there's like some old chinese dude on like a fucking like a 95 year old dude with a walker and he's just blowing by he's like blowing by every one of them so also to start the episode now that we have the new studio i don't know if you know this danny but i've hired a diversity uh consultant and this

can't be good for me so we will be replacing both of us with women. So this is going to be the first men's podcast by women for women. Are they white women? No, of course not. I was going to say, because that's not good. And so basically, it's going to be the first podcast for the boys by women for women. So it's a podcast for men for women. So those are something that you can look forward to. So we just came back from Nashville.

Smashville. Smashville. And I would say that the biggest takeaway that I've been thinking about doing a sketch about this and stuff forever too and before that

I actually did want to say this sketch and this is a proposition to Danny on the air. So I like the idea of like, you know, there's the first gay, everything's a big topic like going with the first gay, whatever, you know, you're the first gay podcaster on the air. So I like the idea of like, you know, there's the first gay, everything's a big topic, like going with the first gay,

whatever, you know, the first gay podcaster on the boys cast. First gay astronaut. Yeah. Right. So, but the,

uh, this is like, there's the first gay politician and then another guy's the first gay, gay politician. So, you know, someone's like, I'm gay,

but the other guy's like, but I'm like, is he gay? I think you said this on the last podcast. Gay guy. No, but so you have to have a ball gag in your mouth and stuff like that. Oh, I could do that.

I have range. Would you be willing to wear the leather bondage outfit? Sure. Really? Okay. Yeah. For a sketch? Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, can I bring the one I have? You got to take it off your boyfriend. I have one. your boyfriend yeah um i have one but the main thing my main takeaway after touring around this country for a while is that america needs a divorce if if you think i mean a lot of people talk about the idea that you go okay this is two fucking different countries right and if if you think about it it's like it's a pretty lock step where you go like if you were a therapist is kind of the way that I was thinking about it. And the,

you know, you have a, uh, the ones half the country and the other, the girls like the other half of the country or whatever. Yeah. You know, the,

the guy being like, it seems like you just want to help everyone else and you don't even care about me anymore. And she's like, stop being so selfish. You know what I mean? I'm just like, you always want to,

you keep wanting to give all our money to our kids and you don't even want to work for themselves and she's like i mean texas's entire position yeah and the guy's like we're in debt you know how much debt that we're in and you know and the girl goes well maybe if you stop spending all like oh you act like you care about money but you just want to spend all your money on military supplies you've got this huge gun in the house and the girl the therapist like okay well listen um would you be willing to stop putting him in a blast online to your friends if he'd have a smaller gun in the house and they're both like no fucking way no deal not the best the best was so we saw on saturday

night uh sebastian yeah this is like calco hilarious but every time he would say anything remotely like you know what i'm fucking sick of these masks place would erupt remotely like, you know what? I'm fucking sick of these masks. Place would erupt. Yeah. Like any sort of like anti-COVID, like what would be considered like, I guess any sort of conservative stance because he's obviously not. They would go fucking berserk.

They would go, because they're just like, thank God, like you're just not another one of these fucking like Hollywood dudes who's just like trying to shove all this bullshit down your throat. They're so pumped. He was just logical. He goes certain things. He's like, yeah, who's just like trying to shove all this bullshit. I know they're so like he was just logical.

He goes certain things. He's like, yeah, it's just like a logical take. And they were just like, finally, someone is just saying it. I couldn't believe their go insane. And then, you know, like you probably shows up on fucking like media. I being like Sebastian Maniscalco goes on conservative rant about masks. That's exactly like that's what it would be. And he goes, he goes, hey, like we're're vaccinated we don't need to wear a mask outdoors you can really go to those places and get

reverse clap like that kind of claptor great like it was crazy i don't know if you saw a clip but dave rubin uh your everyone's favorite stand-up comedian's been back in the mix doing stand-up and he posted a clip and he goes you know am, am I a liberal? This is stand up comedy. Am I a liberal? Am I not a liberal? He goes, oh, you know what? I am proud to say that I'm a conservative. And then he goes, well, you can clap for that.

He goes, I thought, you know, you guys are forgetting that we're live here, people. But he was, you know how you would do a joke, like some people do a joke and they go hey you can laugh like yeah he was like you can clap because he was because they missed giving him an applause break for saying he's conservative like the purple hair comics and like brooklyn being like i'm against abortion you can clap for that yeah it was the exact same thing he's like do you guys not know that i'm here they're like oh sorry oh. You're literally the other side of the coin. Yeah, he thought it was like a big reveal. But no.

Imagine doing stand-up and your punchline is going, I'm a conservative. Yeah. And then you're like, that's where the big laughs come in. This is the part where I go, I'm a conservative. It really is. You go, this is so two different worlds. It's irreconcilable. Some of the things that I noticed, even just, it's almost a Canadian thing too, but it's the two sides.

I'm going to throw Canada into the mix of my analysis here of the American needing a divorce. But just, we met tons of fans. We met a whole bunch of people and we've been touring all the liberal places, all the conservative places. And I'm going to do a, see, conservatives be like be like this but liberals they be like this but canadians so one of the biggest things i noticed even online is everyone from fucking canada and it's a little of a brooklyn thing probably too like those kind of places is they're very self-depreciative to the point where they refuse to promote themselves so if you watch any of our friends back home, it'll be like, hey, another comic posting about his show, come or don't.

They have to ironically post like, I started another podcast just what the world needs, another podcast from a white guy. Watch it or don't. Whereas you watch Americans, and especially not super fucking local, they'll be like, this is the funniest podcast in the fucking world. Yeah, yeah, they have... If you don't come, you're a fucking idiot. Be at this show, you pussy.

They have more rapper energy. Yeah, yeah. And it kind of got me thinking about this idea that there's so much people that talk about entitlement right and they go you know all these people are entitled but it's like to be successful you kind of have to be a little bit entitled you know the idea like whether whatever you think that's what you like whether you think you're gonna get this or you think you're gonna get that you're gonna get closer to the one that you thought yeah and it's like it isn't the point is entitlement is annoying so people that

show up and they're like i deserve this but it's like unrealistic optimism and entitlement are like a pretty important ingredient for being successful 100 for sure like it's you know having lofty goals and stuff and i mean there's an element where you're like wait do you believe you're going to like do this or not or not because it's like a lot of it is like you don't and if you're like wait do you believe you're going to like do this or not or not because it's like a lot of it is like you don't and if you're not really selling it but you're like you're not really selling the fact that you even think this is possible or you just when it when it is like it's not impossible yeah i mean you everyone knows the guy that his dreams are unrealistic it's turning into like a this is like gary v podcast right now you go you can fucking do it

yeah i mean i'm always i'm always a little on that shit. No, no, I'm not saying it in a bad way. It's just funny. But yeah, you do, you kind of do though,

where it's like the, I mean, you listen, it's the fucking Henry, Henry Ford. No, but I'm not saying this. So this,

I guess my point isn't that you, like you have to be, cause what I was going to say before is everyone knows the fucking dude. That's like, I'm going to be a is everyone knows the fucking dude. That's like, I'm going to be a fucking rap icon. I'm putting it out there now. Like the post of status. I'm just putting it out there right now.

Tomorrow, this year, I'll be a fucking on billboard. And you go, yeah, that's like, they have to be fucking realistic to some degree, you know,

you want, but there's other, maybe give yourself five years for that goal to be, you know, I'm sure Drake, when fucking Drake was 15 on Degrassi. I mean, granted he was on Degrassi, but I'm sure he was telling people like, you want, but there's other, maybe give yourself five years for that goal to be, you know, I'm sure Drake, when fucking Drake was 15 on Degrassi, I mean, granted he was on Degrassi,

but I'm sure he was telling people like, I'm, I've heard someone, I heard he was saying, he would say, he's like, I'm going to be the biggest rapper in the world. And then there's 10,000 other rappers that heard that.

And then they go, Oh, you just say you're going to be the biggest rapper in the world. That's it. They, you have to do this stuff. That's the problem is that the people who are like, don't want to say that it's because they've seen both sides of that. And they go, well, I's the problem is that the people who are like, don't want to say that is because they've seen

both sides of that and they go, well, I've seen the fucking totally crazy people who say that. You're like, I don't want to be that. Well, they so don't want to be,

that's what I think. People are so scared to be that like douchebag that they end up being, it's like you're like, because anyone who like puts himself out there, you get,

you're going to get flack. Like even that old thing, like even when you're in a fucking relationship or you have friends, the one that sticks out a little bit, it's like, oh, Mr. Big Shot, I'm going back to school. You think you're fucking better than us? You're taking night classes now to get your GED? To be a security guard. Mr. Hot Shot?

Yeah, I am better than you. To be a security guard, yeah. Yeah, I am. You think you're fucking better than us but yeah there's so many people they're so just like oh like oh i guess so they don't if you don't think you deserve anything like you're not going to get anything and i think so many people in the last little bit have kind of ended up in that pile where they're like i don't even just you know i'm fucking i'm so not entitled it's like well yeah you're things aren't going to work out very good for you. You got to be like, I, Ryan Long, deserve a hot chick and a set of titties.

I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And gone, darn it. I deserve titties. I always thought it was a funny diss when people would be like, well, you think you're better than some people? It's like, yeah, I think I'm better than some people. I don't think I'm the worst person.

Yeah. But the idea that's like, you got to think I'm better than some people. Yeah. I don't think I'm the worst person. Yeah. It's like, but the idea that's like, you're like, you got to think you're not like at the very bottom of all people. You can't think you're at the very bottom. That'd be sick if there was like in the future when everything was so like everybody was tracked and they straight up put a ranking of every person on earth. Like they knew, but they knew every person on earth and they go like, you remember how like in school, like in university, they would just like pace the fucking grades.

Yeah. Like they would say, here's everybody's grades. And you would just go to the fucking board and find your grade or whatever. Like just that way to go find your ranking. And then some would be like, I'm literally the last ranked person on earth. Right now we'd be ranked on who has the best opinions. Who has the rightest. The rightest, yeah.

The most in lockstep, you know what I mean? Just nail it. They got rid of the honor programs in schools. I think it was in Canada. I think it was in California. California. Fucking Sax is going crazy about that. He's losing his goddamn mind.

He goes, well, we're taking away fucking advanced math or whatever the fuck. That was like when the- They all are. They're all actually just livid about that. They're like, what the fuck? Yeah. So it was that old thing.

I saw people kind of posting this, but it was the idea that, you know, they in practice equality or equity is like they're like holding one person up. But in in reality, it's they just chop down the other guy. Yeah. So, you know, whatever. I'm fucking. I don't know who's this helping i guess the bottom person yeah you go now if that person who was nailing it it's like you could apply that to anything i mean there was that old sports thing right where most of the

people that were good at sports were born in the first half of the month right yeah the january in january right and that well that's not not in America because their years start in September, I think, for school. So it was soccer. No, it is because it's just sports. Sports. The cutoff date is always like, whenever it is. Whenever it is, the people, because you're playing against someone that you're a little older at the beginning, you get on the best teams and you get the best.

Best coaching. You get the best coaching. Yeah. So you could say that about anywhere and you go anywhere that's the top one you go okay well let's just take away the thing and you go look we're more even and you go nailed it it's like america you know america could say hey well how much do people make a year okay well how much do they make a year and fucking i don't know abu dhabi and be like wow let's fuck you know be easier to it'll be easier to take these salaries down when it well that's the whole one percent people like

you know friends of ours who are like calling people you're like oh they're in the one percent you're like i got bad news for you so are you yeah exactly but they uh anyways the therapist would be yelling at people going you know you brought our son to a drag show and she's like it was one time you're overdramatic. That whole thing. Right. And the other thing I was thinking about on the therapist tip was, I think everyone thinks therapy is bad, but like if you can get in the groove of therapy,

getting your girl to lots of therapy, everything she says to you, she's like, I'm having this problem with my boss at work and my coworker. And you go, I think this requires a professional. Yeah. You know what? My problem is my girlfriend's a fucking therapist literally my girlfriend is a therapist

and so give tell me your problems and I literally be like so what would you tell someone who is having this issue and then she'd be like and then or like would you maybe give them some sort of exercise and I'll be like well then why don't you just do that yeah yeah but she just wants to vent yeah but I'm like why can't I'll be like, well, then why don't you just do that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But she just wants to vent.

Yeah. But I'm like, why can't I'll straight up be like, I'll give her like suggestions. I'm like, do the thing that you would tell someone who pays you all this money to do. And then she's like, fuck you. Her advice is I was telling the guy, well, yeah, I'm dealing with a patient right now. And I told him what he needs is a solid hour of his boyfriend venting he needs a solid hour of venting to uh i was saying that yeah because girls used to talk to their moms and sisters but because of the internet they all hate their moms and sisters yeah so that's why the boyfriend had to like take the role so that that's why we really

need to get those fucking chicks into the therapist no my girl loves her mom they talk all the time it's just well then that's good yeah but she's probably a little talked out you get the third string after she comes out she's talked out but it's always so funny because i'll straight up like i don't do therapy she is i've never she's a therapist and i'll start up does she try to break you down no but i'll straight up have common sense things where i'll say like oh like she'll have some issue i'll be like why don't you do this and then like she's like oh like i'm like what would you tell a client? She's like, basically that I'm like, so then just do it. Yeah, I know. They don't want suggestions though.

They just want to talk it out. I just want to talk it out. Does she ever try to diagnose some of your weird problems? Like where you run? No, because she's not that Danny. This is what he does when I walk fast. Even my chick, she noticed that she goes, why? It's like, this is what she said to, she goes, Danny seems like so normal in every way, except

for a couple of these like weird quirks. So if four people are walking down the street, Danny will just race ahead and walk, you know, 50, 60 meters ahead of everyone. Andy doesn't know where he's going. So he goes like this. He storms out. So everyone's like, oh, this guy's in a hurry.

Andy knows where he's going. Doesn't know where he's going. I know where I'm going. Okay. I know where I'm going most of the time. You guys are fucking walk slow shit. I don't know where he's going i know where i'm going okay i know where i'm going most of the time you guys are fucking walk slow shit i don't know i just walk fast it's not like i'm not like taking off i straight up just like have you ever been walking with one person like me and okay no no never in the airport for yeah so for example if me and danny are in the airport for example and we're walking for like eight minutes in the airport danny will just walk

like 50 60 meters ahead of me. It feels like if I was a chick, I would be like offended. I would go like, does he not want to be seen with me? No, never with my girl do I do that. But like, yeah, you do. If we're, when I'm with her by myself. I think you do, man.

She's noted. She goes, he always does that. Well, I did it the other day. Because I pointed out and she goes, yeah, he always does that. Well, I did it the other day when we went to go watch the fireworks, but I'm like, she was late and the fireworks started. So I'm like, we need to get to the fireworks.

But the fireworks. It was fucking her idea. You got there. You're trying to make me miss the fireworks. That was her idea. I was like, show up at this time. Then we're late. The fireworks start.

We can't see them. So I'm like, you're going to make me miss the fireworks. So did you get there by yourself and set the blanket out? No. And then the funny part is and then she and then so i start walking fast and she's like uh and then she's behind me because she took a fucking like instagram video yeah and then at some point i'm like yeah we're missing the fireworks so i i like she caught up and then she fucking takes off she's like should we run i'm like no i'm not running to the fireworks i had my flip-flops on and then

she fucking rips and starts running. Dusted you. You're like, I don't run. I just walk unreasonably fast when I'm with people. I walk as fast as I walk. Probably the way I'm explaining it doesn't sound as crazy as it is, but everyone notices it. They talk about him behind his back.

I go, Danny. They go, ah. Not ringing a bell. Fast walker. Fast walker. Walks in front of people. But it's not a fast walker because if you're walking fast, he'll walk faster. No, it won't. It's like a walker yeah fast walker walks you know walks in front of people but it's not a fast walker because if you're walking fast he'll walk faster no it's competitive no if you walk i'm not a competitive walker if you just fucking walk a normal pace you're a competitive

walker i've honestly always been like that though because i don't know i just walk fast so if so when we're not like in a sweat i'm not like oh my god like i'm fucking like bent over being like man that was a fucking hard watch he's checking his heartbeat i got a long i think maybe you just have a long gait yeah i wonder if i'm actually taking you know the worst part is danny takes the small steps that fucking harry was talking about so he walks i look insane really fast tiny steps and usually wears the hat with the propeller on it i just look extra crazy but if you if you are half the country and it was kind of like to be honest there is so much complaining you know from both sides and uh i get i guess i get it but there is this other version where you're like okay let's

say you fucking live in new york and you hate this shit it's like like kid rock we went to his bar or whatever right like everyone's yelling at him everyone's's mad at him. If you just moved to Nashville, never hear about that ever again. Never see another fucking person that thinks that like moved to, you know, maybe not Austin, but like someplace in Texas, you're like, no, all those people you hate, you'll never see one ever again. Exactly. Yeah. I mean, and people do and vice versa. You're like, if you live in fucking, I think that probably works more the other way. Maybe it's starting the other way maybe it's starting the other way but starting to people it is starting where people move from california

to texas or whatever but it's like if you grew up and your parents are you know like the shirts we saw they have a shirt that says if this flag offends you i'll help you pack yeah totally danny bought nine of them yeah if that's your household and everyone in your house has got a shirt that says if this flag offends i mean new'll be passed. I mean, New York is literally. And you go, move to Brooklyn. You'll never see that ever again in the rest of your life. I mean, New York is full of these transplants who straight up, their parents are conservative. And they're like, they live in some conservative town.

They're like, fuck all these people. I'm moving to New York. Yeah. And they leave. And I've been talking about this on stage. But the idea that everyone, no one in this country, you know, no one in this country you know no one in this country uh makes small talk it's all all like very you go you go to half the country and they're like straight up fucking you know uh well they won't even stand for the flag and then you go to brooklyn they're like well they won't even

let her dog be trans like immediately and you're like can anyone talk about the weather and they're like i can talk about whether or not the fucking palestine you know but but and again you could say the same thing about us you go you and i go i guess you know to some degree it's fucking our jobs i mean but maybe i probably to be honest that's why i'm more like this i moved here because i got a fucking bucket full of opinions i've i've been i've been known to like be on dates with girls bring them home to my house and like instead of having sex argue with them till 4am i'm that guy so i think i fit in among the arguers absolutely but we got it we got off the plane we have a fucking driver picking us up oh that was so funny yeah we immediately well what's up guys first thing he says he goes you guys aren't one of them new y queers, are you? No, sir.

Yeah, he's got the sign. We get in his car. Within five seconds, he goes, it was made in a lab, you know? This guy's right into it. He goes, it's all fucking fake. Well, I think we asked him about masks. That was the thing.

He goes, do you want us to wear a mask? He goes, I don't need any of that gay shit in here. It happened quick. Kung flu, motherfucker. He was like, oh. Yeah motherfucker yeah yeah so within 15 seconds you go which is you know and no matter where everyone tells you their opinions like they're like you already think them right um so nashville in general like kid rock he's right if you come here he's like public enemy number one right now yeah Yeah. Everyone's yelling at him because he's calling people a fag and shit at his shows. And then he doubled down.

No, he wasn't even at his shows. No, he did at his show. Oh, no. The main thing was he was doing karaoke. That's when he did it? Yeah, he was doing karaoke at some random bar. Was he karaoke-ing at Kid Rock's? No, I don't think so.

And then someone was filming him because they're like, oh, it's Kid Rock. And then he was all drunk and he's just like pissed off that they like just wouldn't leave him alone i guess because he just even though you're like your kid rock doing karaoke what do you think's about to happen like you don't think this is my can a guy live yeah yeah a gator guy live like dude you're a famous rock star like you get to do this in real life louis ck shows up to the park and just starts telling jokes in a circle oh yeah oh no i can't just tell a few jokes to a couple friends just tell a couple yarns yeah yeah yeah and so anyway anyways and then he started michael jordan plays basketball at the local court totally dumbfounded the people want to watch yeah

the people want to film him you're like it's like mj playing ball you're like oh come on oh i can't play i just shoot some i can't shoot around without. But yeah, like the funny part with the thing with him too is everyone was yelling at him. But if you look at the, so I looked, I like to watch the quote tweets when everyone's getting yelled at or whatever. And so basically the main thing people were fucking saying like oh yeah that he grew up not poor so he said fag again and everyone flipped out and they go and everyone was like oh says the guy who actually grew up rich and they're like this is his house and i guess that was and you're like like anyone cares yeah like any kid rock fans like what yeah so basically kid rock grew up like upper middle class and then he became a rapper in detroit and then he became you know the country star you know

the nation's darling uh mr america right and i you know i like kid rock yeah but everyone was saying that that was like the number one tweet was like huh is you know when they you post something and then they post a tweet from before and they go, this you? This you? Yeah, totally. That's what they're saying. Fish your house? It was their big gotcha for him. That's weird.

It's for someone who says stuff and doesn't care and has no repercussions. They gotta really scrape the bottom of the barrel to find like, oh, how could I burn him? He's probably like, oh, you think that house is big you see the house i live in right now that's my fucking pool house that's so true oh so true so true um but he's got a fucking eight-story bar he's got everything's kid rock you know everything's kid rock paraphernalia he's got like a football jersey with rock on the back.

He's got his own beer there. Like he's living the life there. And apparently he just comes to clubs. And Nashville isn't so young. So he's still like crushing just fucking milfs probably. Probably. You know what I mean? Like 35-year-old hotties.

I'm sure he's not getting anybody over 30. I don't know, dude. You think kids fucking... I bet you he takes like the hot 30-year- 30. I don't know, dude. You think kid? You think kid's fucking... I bet you he takes the hot 30-year-olds. Yeah. You know what I mean? I don't think he's fucking scraping the 20-year-olds. I think he likes a little bit of wear on the tie.

He's an American boy. Like some stretch marks. You ever think he'll just bring back an entire bachelorette party? Because it's just nonstop bachelorette parties down there. Possibly, yes. He goes, come back to fucking Kid Manor. Yeah, come back to Rock Manor. Yeah. Yeah, come back to Rock Manor. Yeah.

Yeah, I think Kid Rock is just out there slaying. He just walks around doing cameos. Like, they live like kids at camp in Nashville. Which I think Nashville was very fun. But I do think I agree with the hipsters. Every town has their hipsters where they go, it ain't that great. But I think I agree that it's very corporate. They go, if you want the real shit, you got to go to Memphis.

If you want the real shit, you got to go to New Orleans. It's very corporate. Every place is the guy playing, pour some sugar on me. It's got literally Vegas strip vibes. Vegas strip vibes. A lot of people playing, pour some sugar on me. Tennessee whiskey everywhere. Although those bluegrass band we saw

was dope. I really liked them. All the girls. Everyone's super talented. No, no, but that bluegrass band. I don't know if they were playing originals, but they were playing bluegrass. There weren't one recognizable song unless you're like in a bluegrass. Yeah, but I think. They weren't even playing Dixie Chips songs. No, they fucking ruled. You're right.

There's a few people that ruled, but that was also during the day. At night, they're playing the classics. They were squeaking in some cool shit at the 4 p.m. set. No, the Kid Rock is like, because it's an elevator, every floor you go to, it's just like, new floor, same song. Yeah, it was. It was a fucking bizarro world

because there's five floors at Kid Rock's bar, and you get on the elevator, it takes you down one floor, and you get out. The band looks exactly the same. the layout looks exactly the same they're playing the song the band the song the band played two seconds ago totally like I just heard this upstairs yeah they're playing Ted Nugent you just heard it three seconds ago 14 years old the Nugent um one of the it was cool meeting all the all the fans like we basically sold out the show all the fans like hung out after and there was uh it was funny the me and Danny were walking around that strip and we're like fucking celebrities there yeah but the one funny part that I was

noticing was that everyone that uh that like likes us they're all fucking I maybe this is just like dudes and maybe I'm like this too probably and everyone's fans are a little bit like them kind that likes us, they're all fucking... Maybe this is just dudes, and maybe I'm like this too, probably, and everyone's fans are a little bit like them, kind of a little bit, but there is so much of every person wanted a photo, but they're too cool,

so they go, I don't know, I know this fucking... And you're like, dude, I took nine photos, you watched me. It's like, you're like, there'll be a... I swear to God, at one point that we do like a photo and you're like dude I took nine photos you watched me it's like you're like

there'll be a I swear to god at one point that we do like a line so people like everyone wants to do photos so you do like a line up and every person

who just waited in line to like do a photo yeah I know I don't know you want to do like I guess we can do like a photo I know it's fucking whack and I'm like

literally that's why I'm here it's too funny we were like it's not like you had some cloak or invisibility cloak. We saw you waiting. But everyone's too cool for school. Especially nowadays, it's the most normal shit to ask someone for a photo. Yeah.

Like, if you're fucking super famous, that's your whole day is people. The weirdest though was the guy at the chicken place. That was funny. That guy was weird, yeah. Yeah. He was like, he was nice, Yeah. Yeah. He was like, he was nice, but then he kind of was,

I, cause he started, he goes, how'd you like, we're like greasy, like we're eating fried chicken at the Hattie B's place. And then he's like, Hey,

and he's like, how'd you get into comedy? Like how do you start a handshake? And we're like, literally like just covered in grease. How do you get into comedy? Almost the funnier move though, is in hindsight is giving him the handshake. just fucking go oh yeah here we go just like just

be like here you go how about this we're just like you're sliding all over the place he goes yeah but he goes how do you get into comedy i was like who else would you ask that you know what i mean like imagine you saw like a hockey player and you're like how'd you even start playing hockey yeah it's just such a funny question yeah it's honestly like i understand the question the venue for the question was so weird we were yeah it was also strange there yeah but that was not nearly the street imagine joe rogan you see him at a restaurant or something you're like oh my god joe rogan it's like i love your shit how'd you get into podcasting and you go what yeah it was very strange dinner like but we had the weirdest one so we'll tell this story.

And this guy was drunk out of his mind. Maybe he woke up in the morning regretting it, not to air this dude out, but it was wild. Yeah, yeah. So we finished the show, and there's this comic, John Christ, who's like, he does YouTube stuff too. And there was a bunch of other comics that were there for the festival, right? Everyone with Theo Vaughn was in the mix. A lot a lot of people were in the mix a lot of comics moved to

austin to nashville to nashville yeah so a lot of people live there and so we finished and he's he's got he's got some bar where he's like okay you can guys can come in and we have uh uh whatever free drinks up top and it's like a rooftop and all this stuff so we don't know like it was me Danny the two other comics it's like okay you know we can probably a couple people but so this guy that we've that we've never met he kind of comes up and he goes I'm gonna come and we're like okay let me ask and we kind of put it out there like hey could we bring some new people and they're like no there's no it's tight like, hey, can we bring some new people? And they're like, no, there's no, it's tight. Like, just come with comics. Like, if you have artists, we can kind of get you in.

And I go, listen, there's no way. And he goes, you know what? I'll just try. Yeah. The funniest part, too, is he was doing that on me. And then I just kind of bailed on him. And then he kind of just like moved over to you. He moved over to me.

But then he goes up to the other two comics that were on the show. And he was like, I'm coming tonight. And then the black dude was kind of like, he's kind of getting fed up. He's like, dude, you're not coming or whatever. And then I kind of go over to him. I'm like, dude, I hate to like be this dude to you. But I'm like, they, no one at this point, you're not coming. It just ain't happening.

Like we're going to this bar. If we go and you want to try to meet us there, that's fine. And he goes, you know what? I'll just get in the cab. Cab comes. He starts trying to get in the door. Yeah. And then he sits in the front seat

and then, first of all, you're not even supposed to be in the front seats now and then he won't leave and this went on for like 20 minutes until eventually the, you know, the guys we were with are like,

get the fuck out of the cab. Yeah, right, dude, get out. They're like, we told them to go, this is the name of the place. If you can get in, get in. Like, you're just not coming in with us.

It was hot girl behavior. This is the type of behavior that like a 10 out of 10 chick could maybe pull off. But even still, because the moment they were like so desperate to like, you're like, what the fuck's going on here? I mean, she wouldn't be in that situation. No, no. We would be like, yeah, get in, bitch.

People would have made it work. Come sit on daddy's lap. Yeah. It would have been like, no, we can't get her in. You send the photo. He goes, we'll make it work. Yeah. That's probably what he wanted to do.

But just like some super drunk dude that you don't know. It it's like people a lot of people have a lack of the social cues yeah i'm the opposite i'm like if there's a little tinge yeah even like yeah i'm like no like so for you it's probably the other way where you go like they maybe do want you to come and i'm like i'm just gonna go home how many times when we first moved here when we didn't know people that well we'd be hanging with people and they'd be like oh we're going to so-and-so's house you should come i'm like we don't really know him i don hanging with people and they'd be like, oh, we're going to so-and-so's house. You should come. I'm like, ah, we don't really know him. I don't want to just... You'd be like, oh, I'm bringing so-and-so

and we never met yet. Now I'm at his... You know, you don't want to fucking be that guy. Totally. Such a strange thing to be, but... Anyway, that guy was weird. Funny. But it also, like,

even when you go to places like that, too, and you see all the people on the strip playing you know their whole they just live their whole life is get up and then they play a kind of a little like comics where they do a set here and then they take their guitar over and play in another uh and it's just like they're just it's kind of the same with chicks where it's like there's so many lives available you know the idea of like decision fatigue and all that sort of stuff yeah i think it honestly was even like stressing me out it's kind of like when you're fucking with your chick and you start thinking about other you know what about this chick i'll remember that one

it's like there you go this job ah maybe i should have another job it's like oh that'd be fun to be like a fucking this you go that'd be like maybe i should do that life just be a musician in nashville maybe i could live there you could live anywhere have any type of chick. There's just so many infinite possibilities that you really have to sort of stop thinking of like that. Yeah. Or it's impossible to be satisfied. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You can't think of what ifs. That's not healthy. But you can't never think of it because then you'll never make any good changes. So it is tough to find. Well, you can't constantly be looking for like a better thing in everything. No.

You gotta like once a month be like this is my what if time yeah you sort of just scroll through facebook like that'd be nice i could do her maybe i'll be a plumber yeah roofing looks fun yeah it could be a roofer yeah just like fucking darts with the boys i do sometimes think like what you know because you have obviously friends from back home and you go like what would be like i do think sometimes you go that life looks fun, but I know I'm like, if you just snap my fingers and gave me that life, I'd last two weeks before I was like, oh my God. Yeah.

That was that old David Cross joke where he was kind of like, you know, when he said that, uh, when he sees like heroin addicts and they're just like living in a fucking, you know, den and they just do heroin and they have no bills or money and he's like it's almost a little romantic where you're like i could that'd be fun just just fucking the other heroin chicks and then you go do more heroin and your only task for the day is get heroin yeah like you see and i i even with all that stuff the guy that's just like just non-stop drunk all day partying like hanging out at union Square with the other homeless guys. Like maybe fuck a homeless guy behind a bin, you know, beg for 10 minutes, get enough money to buy some food and have a beer, have a brew at the park with the locals.

Oh, yeah. You go. I didn't even get that joke, too, where he talks about how they all like wave around until I moved to East Village. And then they're everywhere. Yeah, they're everywhere. Just like literally just hanging out I did but I I did feel a little like decision fatigue coming back where I'm just like maybe I should move there maybe I should move there and be a musician and then I honest to god I was going to sleep last night and I couldn't think and I was sitting there being like

what about I could do that what if I just did like I I did that a few months a year where I go I'm gonna stop being because I'm especially Like I I did that a few months A year where I go I'm gonna stop being Cause I Especially now I'm like I have enough Connections probably In the industry Even in music

Through comedy and stuff I go Maybe I could do that I could go like Play drums in a band In Nashville For like a month and a half Then come back

To my normal life And I woke up Being like Yeah that was crazy Like a Kid Rocks bar Passing a bucket around I don't wanna pass The bucket around But I would I would be like A cameo drummer the way i see it but then i was

honestly going through logistics i go the number one reason i hated playing drums because you'd have to uh carry the drums so then it's like i guess i have to have a car so i'd have to bring my drums to the set i'm like okay well what if you're also living in nashville yeah so i have to move to nashville for a year and a half i go what if i i just made a deal with the band where they already had the drums set up and then i could just be the drummer and i was i was going through all this shit in my head yesterday and i was like i think you know that girl thing where everything is like i think that might be something that i need right now in my life yeah and then i was like yeah i could just one month a year kind of like ari zafir he always just always just goes and does some weird shit in the bushes for a couple months a year.

I was like, what if I just go and be a drummer in Nashville? That's it. For a month every year. Leave it all behind. Leave it all. Yeah. And then I was having logistical issues. You do like your first few sets would be fine.

And then you'd be like, fuck this. Well, yeah. So the moral of the story is you fucking can't always, you know, thou shall not covet another man's wife. I think is another man's life. Thou shall not covet another man's life. Yeah. But yeah, it's so I think that's that. I'm sure there's always another man looking at you being like, you know, I could be a for sure that gay podcast.

Oh, I'm sure there are. I could be a fat gay podcaster. Oh, I'm sure there are. But I'll tell you a perfect example of that. There's so many people. I mean, I don't know if you have this. And I think I know myself well enough at this stage of my life. But sometimes I'll look at other people that don't have all this controversy in their life and you're kind of like, that'd be a simpler, you know. Absolutely.

But I know myself well enough to do, whatever I did, I'd cause trouble on that, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I was, if I fucking was in tech, I'd be like, we should be doing things different. Like, I'd be that guy probably no matter. You'd be James Damore being like, writing everything like, women and men are different.

Well, maybe it wouldn't even be about this stuff it might just be about like the policy sure you know if I was working at a fucking construction company you know it'd probably

take me whatever amount of time to be like I should start my own one this is all why are there all these rules like I'd be fighting some other stupid fight there

yeah there's always gonna be a battle yeah there's all so I think I'd be that but I know that they'll be how many of those people will be like, I wish I could fucking do what you do and actually say what I actually want to say

and say the truth, but I'm like, too much of a pussy. Yeah, for sure. And you could be like, you could. Now go start on this. And after like a week of starting on it, they'd be like, oh, fuck, no. Well, they aren't that guy. I think that's the closest you can get is, so probably the moral of the whole thing is the closest you can get is so probably the moral of the whole thing is the closest you can get to not to knowing that it's the right thing for you is matching your personality and who you are with the things you go.

Okay, I know I need this with chicks. I know I fucking need a set. You know what I mean? I know because here's a perfect example. Long term. I know that I get bored of like really tall girls or bigger girls

so it's like if I'm dating someone longer term I know that I get less bored of it if they're small so you kind of do

all this deducing and then you can come to the you're of a type yeah yeah and you go it's not to say you don't look around

and go he's a tall one right now fucking top but then you know what I mean he's a tall boy but you can get close you can get close Fucking pop. But then, you know what I mean? He's a tall boy. But you can get close. You can get close enough to match it.

I was, you know how people, girls say they want honesty, but like, you know, really, that's just autistic. Yeah. It's like, oh, you know, I want you to be honest. But that's like what autistic people do. Like, you're fat. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I was saying like. You know what I mean? Yeah. But, uh, but I was saying like, you can lose a few. Yeah. If girls, what girls honest, like if what a real honesty is a girl being like, the girls would be like, do you think that girl's hot?

What? I don't care. It's like, okay, you want honesty? I want to fuck her. I want to fuck her. I want to fuck her.

I want to fuck her. I want to fuck her. That seat up fat cashier. I want to fuck her. I want to take every single one of these girls for a spin yeah

not that kind of honesty isn't that honesty for a guy though what do you think of that guy you think she's hot here's the honest truth

I want to fuck every single one but I think you know what it's almost I want to fuck 95% of girls I think girls

like know that well they just know they don't want to hear it they don't want to hear it but I think they know that. Well, they just know. They don't want to hear it. They don't want to hear it, but I think they know it. I'd never admit girls are hot if they go, what do you think of this actress? I go, kind of annoying personality. I always divert it.

You'd neg them. I go, yeah, I don't really like actresses. She'll go, no, but her looks. I go, I don't really. It's not a brunette. Actresses for me aren't good, man. It's like, don't like a brunette. It's like, I'm a brunette.

It's like that type of brunette. That's a different type of brunette. You don't want nothing to's like that type of brunette that's a different type of brunette you don't want nothing to do with that type of brunette you gotta keep it away but it is funny but that's why the Instagram and everything makes

you know this point hasn't been made but that's why Instagram and Facebook and everything makes people so fucking depressed because it's like it's one thing and you know that idea that

with these two ways of lives like you know being in the fucking city and all the flashing lights and seeing everything and being online being an online person you have to see it all whereas there is so much to say about you have your fucking house in the middle of nowhere you have four friends none of them are doing that much better than you like you're one of your friends isn't a fucking billionaire yeah like you guys all kind of make the same amount of money so you don't have like oh what if i was rich no one's rich this is what it is but they're all comfortable and yeah they're like you're there's oh you're not comparing your girl to every girl that's what i was like maybe yeah maybe i'd rather fuck karen but that's what i was saying is like you know i

have friends who have that and you do have social media, some of them. And you do see that and you go, oh, that looks kind of nice. But I just know that I'm like, if I got into that, or I moved to Huntsville, Ontario or something and just set up shop, I'd be like, whew. It looks nice for two seconds, but it's not what you want. No. No, Danny, your personality, you need the thrills and chills.

You need the light, the camera. I need the thrills and chills. You need the light, the camera. I need the thrills. I need the hustle, the bustle. Danny needs the... The subway stabbings, the face slashings. The works. But I've been watching... So I got a couple articles, but the fucking...

The Hollywood... Hollywood's always late to the game and everyone has been watching hollywood getting into the podcast game and it's spotify but it's all industry let's just call it is um you know call her daddy just got 60 million dollar deal joe rogan god that's crazy i think it was joe rogan got 15 000 i believe and they uh so i was listening to all the hollywood podcasts and i know this because we we have friends that that started a podcast and they go our our agent uh their agent was like you need to start a podcast the money is in podcasting kid yeah you know it's like it's like before in comedy they used to tell people like you need a

shtick you know what i mean like you got to be the you got to remember that tool guy remember one of my favorite comedy like memories was this dude one of the dudes at yuck yucks when we were like doing the mississauga club okay just doing like whatever their open mic and he was like you need to do a joke it was to you remember he goes i look like remember he goes he goes you got to say like i look like the love child of and that was when i was like man these people are so cooked like you're supposed to be like fucking like picking talent and this is like it's literally you're like the booker and like this guy who like runs yuck yucks and he's basically like you need to say that you're like the love child you're like start your well you haven't seen

enough of that like you haven't seen that 80 times you told me i should start my set by saying it. Wait, you haven't seen enough of that? Like, you haven't seen that 80 times? You told me I should start my set by saying I'm the love child of two things. Yeah, and they were like, holy shit, dude. I'm like, oh, my God. And this guy was in charge of booking talent. I know. It's like, man, I was like, fuck. And he does comedy, too. I know, but it was just like these little things that you remember along the way.

I forgot that. Yeah, they didn't say it. I'm like, it was like that memory is like seared into my brain where like oh god yeah they're so always so fucking late to the game

so all these people have been there you know you need to you need to say this or you need to you know

have this look right that's been going on forever and they always show up to the game late but I've been I watched cause if for some reason

iTunes deleted all my thing when it renewed itself so i had to add podcast back so i just looked at like the top podcast the top comedy podcast and this and it's all it is is like famous people that have a podcast right now yeah and it's it's so bizarre because it's like they don't you could tell they don't want to be doing it it's just you know spotify or these podcast networks are like, well, we're going to sign 10 deals for podcasts. And Jason Bateman's agent gets wind of it and he's like, what?

Jason, can you go talk on the mic for an hour a day, for an hour a week, and we'll give you fucking 40 grand a week or whatever it is. Because they can be like, their new podcast is by. But it's a different game. It's like the equivalent of, I don't want to see Jason Bateman do stand-up comedy either. And I don't want to see him play basketball. I mean, I do want to see Jason Bateman tell us what he really thinks. Yeah, but he won't. But he won't, obviously.

You're right. He would have to be Jason Baseman. Yeah, like people are like, yeah, tell us what you actually think. But that's not what it is. Don't give us your fucking like, you're on the couch at Letterman. It's an hour of the couch at Letterman and you know so they're having a thing

and they're talking about you know and representation is important you know so that's something that we're thinking about and the one guy goes well you know

I can't speak on that like they would have conversations and most of the things they would get to like it was Jason Bateman and three other famous guys and he'd be like well you know

I can't speak on that because I haven't had that experience and it was like then don't have a podcast your whole thing is like well, you know, I can't speak on that because I haven't had that experience. And it was like, then don't have a podcast. Your whole thing is like, what about, you know, you're that chick that did that. I mean, I'm not a chick.

So what can you speak on? Your acting craft? I guess the only thing we're just going to go tell us stories about famous people you've met. That's all they can do. But only the stories

that like you can tell because you probably have way more stories. He probably has stories about doing Tokov fucking Shaq's dick. Yeah, like they probably all have crazy stories that they won't tell. Right.

And all they could do is just. It's not a good filtered art form. No. So, yeah. So, yeah, Bateman's got this one. And then they have another one. It's the fucking Kevin from the office has got a podcast where he interviews people from the office.

Like they're showing shit at the wall because they basically go, you know, they're literally like Kevin's there. He's like all of a podcast. They're like, what do you want wall because they basically go, you know, they're literally like, Kevin's there. He's like, all of a podcast. They're like, what do you want to do? He's like, office shit, I guess. And so he interviews people from the office. It's episode one's Jim. Episode two's Pam.

Episode three's Steve Carell. Episode seven's like a guy from the warehouse. Yeah, totally. Now, episode 12, he's like interviewing fucking key grips. The funny thing, too, is because some of the, like, he, in terms of like, the funny thing too is because some of the like he in terms of like again the famous no because like the really famous people you know he's getting

that's a one-time deal like you're getting corral corrals like i'll do this obviously you're so all the super famous ones and then you're like okay i guess we're going toby for the seventh time and toby's still high yeah he's like you're still in the top 10 now. Yeah, but I'm saying like best case scenario. Episode 100 is like Kevin doing reviews of the, remember that time we interviewed Steve Carell? Yeah. It's the only time he's ever been allowed to be in a room with him. I guess people love The Office like so much that.

You fucking have to, to hear episode 12 of that. I'm sure his agent was like, you could do a podcast. And he's like, you know what? Cause I know, you know, he's probably like, I think he's a big sports guy. Maybe he's like, I'll do sports. You're like, nobody's gonna 12 of that. I'm sure his agent was like, you could do a podcast. And he's like, you know what? Because I know he's probably like, I think he's a big sports guy. Maybe he's like, I'll do sports. You're like, nobody's going to listen to that. Do a thing about The Office.

Yeah, do it. I mean, you know, that's... The thing is, there's just like, there's money grabs and then they go, what are we going to get? Like all these people that are all going to fucking get canceled in two seconds.

So they go... There's also this element of chasing that fame. Because you do see a lot of people who when they were on like the biggest show in America and then they're not anymore and you're never like I wonder if he like you know I'll never touch that ever again like

never getting back there no because I'm not a star I'm like I'm a supporting character and I was a supporting character on like one of the biggest shows ever it's like that's never happening again because you can't be a supporting character again I was a supporting character on like one of the biggest shows ever. It's like, that's never happening again. Cause you can't be a supporting character again. Yeah. So he's just,

I wonder if there's an element where he's like, you know, I have set for life money wise, but yeah, he is set for life money. Oh, for sure. No question.

But he's probably just like wants to taste of that, you know, taste of the heat. But I don't even think it's so much like anything against Kevin or his motivation. His agent literally said, Hey, they're fucking this new company's giving away boatloads of cash for their podcast they want fucking famous people do you have anything yeah and the guy sent a ton of pitches kevin probably sent his agent tons

of pitches and they go we like the office one i wonder if he's lo and behold i wonder if he has sort of any contract or if it's just maybe a smart thing. Like, because, you know, you never, like, I wonder if there's any guys like that who are, like, have non-orthodox ideas, I guess would be the thing where, you know, stuff, and, like, he's there, he's, like, contractually, like, he's like, yeah, you can't just become,

like, fucking conservative dudes and all this wacky shit. Oh, and the office, he, and then... Like, I wonder if he had any sort of deal with them. Like, well, I mean, we've seen it where the guy that was putting PCAMs up, wacky shit. Oh, and the office. I wonder if he had any sort of deal with them. Well, I mean, we've seen it where the guy that was putting PCAMs up, they took down the show

because of that. So it's like, I mean, put it this way. The Cosby show got taken out of syndication in different places. Yeah. So can you imagine

you were fucking Daryl from The Office? Yeah. I mean, he's probably the biggest wild card out of anybody on that show. Okay, so let's say your pan... I don't know who was on there that didn't have a big career pick your person uh the redhead chick okay redhead chick and then imagine fucking kevin from the office

starts going out there you know he's fucking he's out there doing the stefan molyneux tour or like at the capital fucking he's at the cap like. Show. And then they take fucking office out of syndication. And Kevin cost you fucking $20 million because. That would be a bitter pill to swallow right there. How mad would you be? Think the liver? Oh, whatever. How mad would you be if fucking Kevin got out there with his opinions?

I mean, we literally know people in canada who are on this huge show cute that this guy fucking put up these p cams and then all in this like apartment he was renting and literally like cost like not even exaggerating a hundred people work a hundred people tons of money tons of money because all the money's residual cost these guys fucking millions yeah and then on top of that the next season's come. And that guy was in a fucking movie recently. Yeah, he was in Nobody. That guy's back working. That was the crazy thing.

So why can't they put the thing back on? Remember, we were in the theater. I go, that's the P-Cam guy. Yeah, Danny couldn't believe himself. I know. So we go, so there are the cam footage back on the market. Yeah, anyway. But so all of it, you know, and the premise I was saying,

that everyone needs a divorce and stuff. But it's like it's interesting to see the fucking power stuff where. What's the best way to describe it? Like, you know how Bernie Sanders like got screwed and they made that. It's kind of like these people. You hate to be like the fucking powerful elites guy because it's almost seems like cliche but the moves that they pull to try to like take over podcasting to try to i was watching here's a perfect example like you saw the washington post thing recently so it's not the hugest thing but jeff they did a fucking jeff bezos owns the fucking washington post and they

had an article that said the um elite should have more say in who's the president or some version of that and jeff bezos runs the runs a paper and he put a put that headline out there right and then everyone got mad and they changed the title again they switched the headline to something super normal. Like, secondary, primary should be, you know, changed or whatever, right? Yeah, yeah.

And then, all this, it's just like these little things, but Andrew Yang, for example, so they're giving him like the Bernie treatment full out, right?

They do not want Andrew Yang to be the mayor. Oh, he's getting crushed. I mean, he's really not polling well. I don't know if it, but he was polling number one. He was,

but I don't know if this is like some sort of conspiracy thing or anything. I've been, yeah, I've been reading about it if it's... But he was polling number one. He was, but I don't know if this is some sort of conspiracy thing or anything. I'm making one. Yeah, I've been reading about it, and it's apparently conservatives, so the dude Eric Adams, who's in the lead or whatever. I was reading about this briefly, but he's polling super high with conservatives, even though he's not. And I think just Yang, he's too niche, and minorities don't, minorities don't really like him that much,

even though he is one, because he's- I think people do like him. I think this is the, Danny- Dude, he's like fourth. I think you're eating the narrative. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. No, no, no, this isn't, no, no, no, because the president-

They go to Danny, they go, people don't like Yang. Danny goes, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. Because the presidential debate, I do agree, he got fucked. They were specifically removing him from- Let me tell you what they did, and you tell me what you think of this Okay Because it's actually a specific thing

So And it also Is a point of Yang being a bit of a cock But basically What they did was Forever in these races You vote for who you You just put your person right

They changed it this year Yeah Yang was pulling at number one And they changed it this year For the first time ever That what happens is was pulling at number one, and they changed it this year for the first time ever that what happens is you put your number one, two, three, four, five, and then if you could,

so basically you could not get the most people voting for you and still win. And to me, that reeks of like, even if Andrew Yang gets the most votes, he ain't winning. Well, yeah, you get a point or whatever. Correct. So I was-

You don't think that's a little fucking fishy? But I don't think they start, they didn't put that into effect. They're always- No, no, but they didn't put that into effect before he, he's only been running for mayor for six months or something. They don't want him to win. It's the first year ever. I agree on the presidential thing.

He got fucked. This, I don't. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. On this topic though- I'm conspiratorial about it. so i am very conspiratorial my girlfriend has uh like regular cable and so there's this new york like spectrum channel it's like new york local news and they display all of the de blasio press conferences and the other day i like woke up it's like nine and she like she put on the tv and it goes straight to the new york channel and he was doing this press conference explaining to

people how ranked choice works voting and it was with this like New York channel and he was doing this press conference explaining to people how ranked choice works, voting and it was with this head of democracy chick and they were doing it voting on pizza toppings. It was the fucking weirdest. They were explaining and he goes, we're voting on pizza toppings and you almost have to watch it. It was like a 30-minute press conference

about how to vote with this new system but they didn't because people can't understand anything other than pizza toppings and he's like he thinks he's so funny de blasio like and it was the biggest cringe fest oh my god that's weird dude yeah but uh the the fucking cuck move that andrew yang did that i was like that i thought was wild is people were fucking tweeting hey andrew yang's that i was like that i thought was wild is people were fucking tweeting hey andrew yang's my second choice for mayor and he was retweeting them yeah that's like you know me retweeting like ryan long's my 85th best favorite comedian and i go he's retweeting that he's people's second choice yeah i go someone needs to get this guy a fucking uh a better campaign or a better i

don't i wonder what his issue is why people don't want i would if i could vote for a mayor i would vote for him okay so i i'm i'm building a case here so i you know that's why i'm putting these things together like the hollywood the podcasting the andrew yang the washington post and there's i i told you this recently we should get a gavel yeah dude i'm building a case we need a hammer and a gavel against the fucking elite you're out of order they okay so recently i've had people offer me money to support some specific thing opinion wise so they go hey and i didn't i didn't know this happened but i guess i'm getting in the fucking uh public consciousness enough that people do it

but i go so people and this was the big thing with that that youtuber casey nice dad or whatever his name is yeah he basically took like three million bucks to endorse Hillary and he wasn't political at all. And he didn't seem like that guy and he came out and he was like, I'm Hilldog through and through. And it kind of came out and I think he even admitted it.

Basically, it was like he took a bunch of money and I know a few other things that came out like that. But, and that's, you know, whatever. I think that should have to be disclosed in my opinion. Like that's, yeah, political.

I mean, political financing is like a highly regulated thing. Well, I don't know how this was allowed to happen, but so people... Oh, you're surprised that Killary was able to slip one through? Well, I'm telling you, it's more common than you think, man.

These people are up to their old tricks. People fucking message me for some opinions that they want me to have. I go, I go... They're like... And I just go, you know, I'm not interested in any of that. Like, I don't, I don't even know what their opinions were. Cause I would, I'm like, yeah, I don't do it like that. Totally.

Yeah. Honestly, that's despicable. Now here are five reasons why I support Israel. I would say that'd be funny if, yeah, if you see just some random stats, like Ben Shapiro comes out and he was like, you know, and actually I've been wrong, Palestine. You're like, man, that guy's pockets just caught. Can't even fucking walk around. Weighed down with those fucking heavy pockets.

Yeah, the camera pans down. He's petting a gold bar. He's like, I was sort of wrong. I just didn't know. Like real, like fucking chic chic like oil money okay so this is you're right it's getting all in the conspiracy zone but what do you think about the fucking the banks buying up all the houses you know how that's been going yeah that was the black rock thing i um and it seems like every that's not a conspiracy they are doing it i know but how do

they get it's like you know they they get this to happen and then they get every fucking in lock step they get every fucking publication to be like this is sick no no they were getting criticized pretty black rock was getting criticized for it i didn't see not my main ones i didn't see uh i saw so many articles going around that are like saying no one's gonna own houses and that's the life that we should be living like you know it's living. Because BlackRock's buying them to rent them? So yeah, basically BlackRock is going to buy up every fucking piece of property. I think it's a function of, I could be wrong on this, but I think it may be a function of low interest rates. Because right by me in Toronto where I lived, there was right at King Street and basically King and Dufferin.

They put up this giant fucking like, it was like this, you know, six condo giant complex that was supposed to be for sale. And then they pulled one of those shady ass moves where rental market got so good that they just returned everybody's money to them like two years later.

They're like, we're not building this and we're just going to own this and rent it out. Yeah, I know. So obviously there is some like market component and it is a good investment for these places and they can get huge loans or whatever but then there's the other component of it where it's like it's like feels like the government's fucking like involved it's like they want like what do you want i mean with the interest rates they kind of are and the problem is like

the people who set who set these policies all used to work for like blackrock and goldman sacks yeah like they're not like our arms or whatever they're not distance they're all intertwined the policies are so fucked even when with my credit card there's these discrepancies like for example i'm allowed i have fucking you know i started this margin account at my bank and i have like they allowed me to have like 150 on margin or whatever right credit basically yeah it's credit yeah it took me a year to get a 500 credit card and then they gave me the three thousand dollar after a year and a half where i'm just like like i said it's like hey lend me three thousand dollars and we'll

lend it back to you yeah so well the stocks are secure it's because you're that loan security well they'll liquidate your account before it ever gets you could do that on the other one without a fixed but my point is they would do that same thing anyway but my point is that there's obviously like regulation that is the reason why i'm sure a bank would look and go this guy's got x amount of no your credit cards like every credit card you have is unsecured yes but the reason okay the the the banks operate in accordance with the law they would be giving credit cards all over the place. Yeah, yeah. If they can't because of, you know, it was like the credit crisis.

They would be handing people fucking loans right, left, and center if they couldn't. But the laws are so like wishy-washy. I was actually talking to Matt Sinkholm about that today. What were you saying to him? Well, he's trying to buy a place and he has, so he's like, you know, all his money's from investments and his like businesses, but he doesn't have proper like tax returns. all his money's from investments and his like businesses, but he doesn't have proper like tax returns. And so he's trying to get a mortgage. And basically the guy's like,

I can give you, I can get you a mortgage for any amount that you want, but the interest rate is super high. Yes. And cause it's like the interest rate is like double what it should be basically because. Yeah. That's,

that's probably what I could get to. It's like, and it's because all these banks are, you know, their hands are tied. They can't get their hands are tied. Yeah. So that's another one.

And then John, the John Stewart thing. So John Stewart came out and he went on. John Stewart. Base. John Stewart came out and he was on. He went on Colbert and he basically said that he thinks the virus is made in a lab, which is like Fauci said it. And Stephen Colbert is like, he's still out there.

And he was like, what are you? Republic? I know. What do you say? Fucking. What are you working for ron ron johnson yeah and it was so bizarre to watch so john stewart considering like yeah literally john stewart made stephen colbert essentially and everyone was kicked off like brett weinstein's channel just i saw that two more strikes and for fucking you know saying shit that any like is becoming fucking common opinion right now but also like yeah brett ronstein the super fucking liberal professor like liberal arts

professor like what could he possibly be saying that's worthy of like strikes he's questioning the fucking narrative yeah yeah just like i'm gonna probably be in trouble for questioning the bank narratives that'd be so funny if i get a strike no you get three at once three at once for the question the interest policy keep your mouth shut on these interest rates pal well so you know what the craziest part about the the all the censorship stuff is that so the covid was the number one thing that you couldn't talk about and you would get a strike if you questioned any of it you know fauci if you if you so much is said this guy isn't sexy when you know he's a fucking sex icon he's if you and if you went against the narrative that

fauci's a sex icon you would get a strike but it was making me kind of like the interesting part was okay how are religions allowed to have their channels you know i mean you go it is not proven that god is coming you know jesus is coming back it's definitely not proven that you know scientology uh all their shit so you go what's the difference between saying that Trump's going to come back and win the election than to say, you know, some other Lord and savior is going to come back to win the election. And the only thing I can think of is one's not dead yet.

So it's like, you can have all sorts of wacky theories as long as you call it a religion. Is that really what it is? Like, how can you be able to say religion stuff on a YouTube channel? It's not proven. No, it's like literally just these,

there's like fucking five people who run these giant, you know, things and they're, they're deciding like they just act like their whole thing is they go, Oh no, no, no. You know, we don't like, it's just like we run this and we're just like a for profit business. Like we don't decide, but you're like, yes you do. You're just making this decision and you know, the government is pressuring them or whatever. And, but even before, like when Trump was still in office, it's like the government wasn is pressuring them or whatever and but even before like when

trump was still in office like the government wasn't pressuring them yeah and they were just like yeah these are decisions we're making we're a private business and if you don't like you fucking scram you can scram if you don't like it yeah it's essentially what they're doing and they like and then they just say they're like oh what we didn't they're like we're not we're just running our business and you know they're going against the cdc i mean yeah like zero hedge getting literally kicked off of twitter banned from twitter for saying something that's now common opinion yeah and i mean again john stewart was like saying you know he's throwing people for a loop because john stewart's like he kind of uh he was still funny and he just does he just he says what he thinks a little bit more than.

Well, he's like, he's again, he doesn't have corporate bosses. So he's. He's also, yeah, he doesn't have corporate bosses. And then there's also, I mean, he's sort of, he knows how to play the game a little bit better where it's like appeal to more people, even for what he's doing. Like, you know, he, one of his big things was like the nine 11 firefighters, whereas like Colbert would probably, you know, I'm not, I'm sure maybe he's done something like that, but he would never make that his whole thing.

It was all, it would always be like, you know, Trump's bad, but even if he was like a positive for helping people, it would be, you know, undocumented immigrants or some shit.

Yeah. Whereas like, I'm sure helping like fucking servicemen is considered like a right wing. It is a right. It is. It's literally blue lives matter. Right. Exactly.

Right. So I don't know. even it was even funny watching like uh biden he went on and he was like yelling at the media or whatever he's like gone full trump yeah i know oh yeah yelling at the the same chick who like basically uh would get yelled at by trump yeah the exact same reason it's just like okay so maybe it's just her. Yeah. So at the end of the day, I think that you need a divorce. And that was my, that was my premise. But the funniest thing that I will say in this episode is,

so there was this video that went pretty viral on Tik TOK and everyone was sharing it. And it was a guy being, you know, talking about fat shaming and all that stuff. Right. And his premise, which was amazing. It was, and my friend even messaged there, like, I think this might be my

Joker moment for fucking red billing. Cause it was like, um, if I don't want to be fat, that's fat phobic. Like if you go, I just don't want to be fat and you go, well, there's lots of evidence that proves we don't even have a choice over how big we are. And it's like, yeah, I guess what a coincidence that athletes are fatter on the off season. They had no choice, right? It was like that wild, right? And it was like, this is the kind of stuff. But I was just thinking it's so funny that in El Salvador,

if you tour to those places, because there was an article that said heavier passengers on planes means new safety limits for airlines because Americans are so fat. They never had a choice, but it's... No one has a choice, but for some reason America is just a thousand times fatter than everywhere that has no food. Oh, dude, Nashville is...

Chubby puppies over there. I saw a lot of dudes in Nashville with like a pretty big wife that looked unhappy. Yeah. You know, when they married her and she's been eating fucking fried chicken. Hattie B's. Shout out to Hattie B's.

Mainlining fried chicken. So this is the thing, the latest data from CDC's national center for statistics published that the 2015 to 2018, the survey puts the average male at 199 pounds and the average females 170 pounds in 2005 it was uh five percent less men were 190 and women were 160 dude women weigh an average of 170 fucking pounds in america yeah that's big i wonder what it's i wonder what the it is in like europe like uh it's got i mean it's I mean it's so much smaller

I'm sure But the funny part is When you go on a plane to El Salvador They have so Don't care about all this Fat shaming shit They weigh you Before you go on the plane

And Danny says It's tiny planes everywhere But they go They literally A girl goes They go how much do you weigh And she go 130

And they go 140 Next And she's like I don't want to go to El Salvador anymore. I don't want to go to El Salvador. I know, a lot of tears on that fight.

Yeah, imagine if I went and they weighed my chicken at like 100 and I like to keep her at 95 so now we're in a fight. I'm trying to find the average weight

of an Italian woman. Oh yeah, you think they're fucking bringing up the weight? No, no, 65 kilos. So the Italians

are bringing it down well no we're just saying so it is a United States thing for sure like United States is we have the list Asians are bringing the weight down a little bit what country do you think is the heaviest

I think it's America no it's America's Samoa the average weight of a woman in America's Samoa is almost 220 pounds holy shit dude that's a that's a big woman that's a big fucking so they did love funny though they have regular samoa it's 90 kilograms and then american samoa 98 so you just put american in front of anything it's getting jacked up and they did love island so they've always they've been saying love island in uk is like the biggest show where they have to pick who they're going to be with and all that

stuff you know and they they started doing diversity like going hard on this stuff so they're like we want some fat people on the show and how the show works is the people all stand in a row and they get eliminated right they? They pick the best people first. So every episode one starts with some fat chick standing there because she didn't get picked. Yeah. Because, yeah. So, and then this week they go, this year they go,

we wanted to really get diverse. So they're having a girl with no one leg. And that's a thing. So they're, so, but like if people don't pick so i guess people might pick her just not to seem fucking weird and i'm sure the chick's hot and whatever but it's like it's just so funny it's like so you're you have a hotness show where people yeah purely if they pick the hottest and then the at the end of the episode you're gonna have a fat chick with one leg standing there because no one picked her and you go, oh, win for fucking diversity somehow.

Yeah, that's fucking... Isn't that crazy? Well, did you see the Victoria's Secret? Yeah. What they're doing where they're basically, they're like, we're done with the angels. They still have hot chicks, but they're just like, they're all activists.

Yeah, they're all activists and some of them are trans. No, they have one chick who's a size 14. They used to be the whole thing. I saw like Priyanka Chopra and those ones. Yeah. But one of them is also like, she's like a size 14. It was like on the cover.

She's a, she's a bigger girl. Yeah. It's a two pager. Yeah. And they're just like, they're done with all the, yeah.

I mean, I'm surprised if anything, what took you so long? Yeah. Like with companies like that, I'm a little bit like, how did this not happen two years ago? Yeah. Let i mean it's crazy which means they held off how many internal battles did they have i mean it's trump though like trump is like the linchpin that was like

removed that just took all of this stuff down like yeah he's i've said this like for a long time but like he when we like kind of do the post-mortem on this stuff, it's going to be like that exact moment was the thing that just was so transformed. Like, you know, he's the guy Cosby and fucking like Weinstein and like all that stuff, all these companies who were like, we can't be sexist anymore.

We can't be misogynist. All on our hot girl show. All that stuff is just like, cause of him. If it was like Hillary Clinton was the president for the last four years, it would be fucking Victoria's secret runway models getting raped non-stop by harvey weinstein and it would just be that's how it is that would be the world yeah that would be the world we're still living in fucking we're watching kids say the darndest things with bill cosby like just all that shit i think you're right yeah he's i said it before i can never

make it work as a joke but i'm like he's the greatest thing that's ever happened to women in my lifetime. Why? Because women are like all this, you know, all the Me Too stuff. Oh, all the. All this shit of like. Although we need a hundred girls on every job. It's a reaction to him getting elected. It's like it was purely reactionary.

I thought you said Cosby. No, no, no, no. I'm not sure where you're going with that. No, no, no. You mean Donald Trump. Yeah, but Donald Trump. Yeah, it was like he got elected within two years because they hate him so much. They're like, we're firing all the guys.

We're like burning this shit down, like everything. And it was, you know, they honestly like it started with the Women's March, like him getting elected, Women's March. And then it just went to fucking like nuclear. They did. Yeah. Well, we'll see if it crawls. Well, folks, we're going'll see if it crawls. Well, folks, we're going to see if it crawls back.

We're going to do a review of the richest women in the world. On the patron is our attribute to women. And all 10 of them happen to be by marriage. It's a, you got to start. Kylie Jenner, Kylie Jenner, patreon.com slash the boys cast.

And more importantly, if you're not coming to the, if you're in New York, you've got to come to the fucking show. Me and Danny doing five shows. Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Justin Silver will be there. Corinne's doing guest spots. And Chris from Brooklyn. And Ian Fidance is going to do a spot too.

It's going to be a fucking sick ass fucking weekend. And it's pretty close to sold out. We sold almost 1,000 tickets so far, I think. think so numbers are pretty high and i'm pumped about it so it's my first like proper and i know obviously not everyone listens in new york but like you know these are the big places and it's a broad you know i'm on broadway i'm doing i got on broadway you can make it here you can make it anywhere i'm on broadway so yeah i'm on broadway catch me doing my act it's gonna be a singing and song and how's everybody doing tonight i hope there's just one person who like i guess caroline's doesn't do that or whatever but like you know there's that whole thing where all the

like the scammy clubs be like jerry seinfeld's here yeah yeah you know and then caroline doesn't do that but i just love all the fucking people showing up for that. What's the difference between the blacks and the whites? Women. The wage gap's a myth. That'll be Jon Stewart's next thing. Wage gap's a myth. Jon Stewart, catch him next week on The Blaze.

Catch John Stewart, his new series on The Blaze, and catch us at The Boys Cast, patreon.com slash theboyscast. And next episode on The Boys Cast, we are also going to do a Q&A for everyone asking questions and stuff like that too. Not this week, but the next week. So join it and ask questions.

Ryan Long, Danny Poloshuk. Peace.