The Boyscast with Ryan Long - An INSANE Throuple Arrangement, KeKye West & The "D-Bag Tax"

Episode Date: October 8, 2022

KeKye West, crazy throuple arrangement, Danny's new documentary and the D-BAG TAX! NEW MERCH: http://ryanlongstore.com/ SUPPORT THE SPONSORS AT: Babbel.com/boyscast - Up To 55% Off Your Subscription Breathefum.com/boyscast - Promocode BOYSCAST For 10% Off Your Order Mybookie.ag - Promocode BOYSCAST - Doubled First Deposit Up To $1000 Fitbod.me/boyscast - 25% Off Your Subscription Or Free Trial SUPPORT THE BOYSCAST: https://www.patreon.com/theboyscast http://ryanlongcomedy.com MERCH - ryanlongstore.com Ryan @ryanlongcomedy Danny @dannyjokes LEAVE US A FIVE STAR REVIEW! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Fellas, fellas, there is a sneak boys cast launch of the new fellas designs. They're supposed to come out Monday, but it's going to come up a couple of days earlier. So if you guys can go before anything sells out, Ryan Long Comedy or ryanlongstore.com. I'm not going to announce it anywhere else. There's like three new designs. Everything else is restocked. And as you know, things do sell out. ryanlongstore.com.

Go there. Check it out. RonLungStore.com. Go there. Check it out. Badass Designs. And then also, next weekend, me and Danny will be in Charlotte, Greensboro,

Raleigh, and then after that, Austin, Detroit, Portland, Phoenix, Plano, Toronto, and Baltimore. Okay. Sorry again for being

one day late. The boys. The boys cast. The lads. The boys cast. The dudes. Prepare yourselves one day late. Who you fat. Coming down the court. Coins with the dunk.

Ho, you fat. We got another three-pointer there from ho, you fat. Ho, you fat. Yeah, it's where you start emphasizing the wrong words. Like, is there any emphasis on one of those three words? The new basketball player's name is ho, you fat. What is, like, that seems like it would be a Chinese name. I thought he was Chinese for sure.

Right? Because I guess Ho... What is he? He's like, he's like an African guy. Well, that's weird. What is like... Colonized, maybe? We got a... By China? Yeah, we got another free throw from Ho Yu Fat! That would be good to be the announcer and just staring at the other girl while you do it.

He sounds like he needs to play for the Harlem Globetrotters. Anytime. Yeah, yeah. That's definitely where you're at the club. You go, oh, you fat. And then he's behind you. You know what I mean? You go, what?

Did you just call me? Behind you. Hey, it's me, the basketball player. Steve, how you fat? He's driving down the court. Oh, you fat. And he's in the food court. Oh, you fat.

Stole food. Now you in court. Oh, you fat. Your weight's so big you'll break a court. Oh, you fat. Stole food, now you in court. Ho you fat. Your weight's so big you'll break a court. Ho you fat. Hey, baby. That would be good.

Hey, baby. For your girl's birthday, you get them to do, not a cameo, but you go get the signature. You go, baby, I got you a signature

from your favorite basketball player. From my new favorite player, Ho you fat. Ho you fat. Yeah, so definitely, I'm going to be saying Ho you fat a lot. Ho you fat. Yo, fat Yeah so Definitely I'm gonna be saying

Ho you fat a lot Ho you fat Yo are you that Basket player Ho you fat Yeah Just anybody Just walking around

Ho you fat It's a great jersey Although this is one of Those lame sleeve jerseys Yeah whatever I actually saw that too And I was looking at it And I was thinking

Ho you fat jersey Would be nice And it's a stupid Stalker style Yeah No thank you Lame Speaking of Clothing articles Yeah So I just got back From tour Clothing I was thinking, oh, you fat jerseys would be nice. It's a stupid stalker style. Yeah. No, thank you. Blame, blame.

Speaking of clothing articles. Yeah. So I just got back from tour. Clothing time. Yeah. Clothing time. You don't have to wear some, but you can't be naked. So there's like an in-between.

You've wanted to do a muumuu for like Jen Danny's mom style. Oh, yeah. in between you've wanted to do a muumuu for like jen danny's mom's stuff oh yeah i was in the cleveland and there was this uh lady that uh i was in the the convenience store and i was trying to buy like a charger for something right and there's big line right and this lady starts looking at me and she goes oh you know like you know what i mean someone just wants your attention for something being grumpy and i go and i, I'm trying to look forward, right? Like a Mr. Bean kind of thing? No, it was equivalent of like if I was watching TV and I was like, and then you were like, what? Yeah, it's like a girlfriend thing. It's a girlfriend thing.

What is it? What is it, right? She was trying to get, she wanted me to ask, right? Right. And then I was like looking forward. I'm not engaging. And then she goes, she eventually just launches into it she goes those bandanas made in china can you believe that oh she was trying to be like so she was mad that the bandanas at the convenience store were made in china and i go oh crazy and i just kept looking back at the front

and then she picks them up and she goes anywhere else in the world and i go oh where you would rather be made here i guess or something and then she was like anywhere other than china and i go all right she was trying to get you into her shit she was she was really hyped up and she's like she was flipping out she's not gonna be happy when she finds out where everything else is made but and they weren't even american flag bandanas we're talking like a fucking cheap camo bandana she didn't like the brown and right was she in the market for one like no she no she like a fucking cheap camo bandana. She didn't like the brown and white. Was she in the market for one?

No, she had no interest in buying a bandana. She just looks at the tags of everything. I think she was paying for gas. Lunatic.

She's fine with the gas prices, but she did not like the bandana situation. It was pretty crazy, dude. She was going off. Anybody else she was

trying to get their attention? There was a lot of Cleveland stuff that was wild. Yeah, no, everyone was there. There was like probably 10 people in the line and I was the only sucker that got into it because she was trying to get their attention? There was a lot of Cleveland stuff that was wild. Yeah, no, everyone was there. There was probably 10 people in the line,

and I was the only sucker that got into her because she was right in front of me. That's what headphones are for. Yeah, I guess I could have been like headphones or whatever. And then the other one, I had a pretty good one where one of the people that was driving me from gig to gig, this lady who was actually super nice, but then she started getting into the Jeffrey Dahmer stuff.

And she was like... Chicks love Jeffrey Dahmer. She will she her beef was she was like because i think we i don't even know if we mentioned serial murderer that no no no she's fine with that fine that part got her fucking rocks off eh but no her beef was that um that basically he the priest came by at the end and said he's going to heaven because he repented, right? Last episode stunker. I didn't watch it, but there's some debate within the religious communities whether or not he has his spot in heaven or not, right? Well, if Hitler's in heaven,

why isn't Jeffrey Dahmer in heaven? Well, if you repent, you get to go to heaven according to Catholics, I guess, right? But not according to her religion. She's Christian, and in her maybe I'm misinterpreting, but this is what she told me. She's like, well, no, that's why Catholics are wrong. And it was like, it's funny to this is what she told me she's like well no that's why Catholics are wrong and it was like it's funny to see

in like so she's saying he is in heaven she's saying he's not not but she was pissed off that she was like you know how you'll see people

like Muslims and Jews have fights yeah she had like an old school like beef with Catholics of course it's like one of the oldest like beefs

it's like I know but you don't see that a lot anymore you kind of those get sort of clumped into the same thing. Sort of like Indians and Pakistani. I feel like in Ireland or something,

we call them, it's like the Catholics and the Protestants. That's what it was. They're killing each other. They're still fighting over this shit. Yeah, the Indian and the Protestants where it's like you have a dad being, the Indian guy will be like,

my dad hates Pakistan and my dad hates Indians. And you're like, guys, guys, they're both right. But the, the Catholic, she was, she was like flipping out on them

and she was going off about, you know, and that's why the religion makes no sense. It's like literally two different things. Well, she's saying,

well, in her thing, she goes, she started going off. She goes, listen, like I have a friend that, you know, he did all this bad stuff and he's repented. But I don't know.

Will it be enough? Like, I guess we'll see. Like she's waiting. She said God can see what's in your heart. I love how she's certain that she's getting to heaven. She's going into it. She's pretty nice. I think she will be.

Oh, okay. She was very nice. She's just, she thinks that some of these other people, you know, they think they can just kill people their whole life and then go to heaven i mean honestly what she's saying seems pretty reasonable but it is actually more reasonable than the catholic if catholics think jeffrey dollamer goes to heaven i think your heaven means nothing then yeah yeah it's like so anybody's there as long as the last deathbed fucking changes their mind well that that is the loophole right you go actually but but then they say it has to be real. That's their thing.

They go, well, he actually had to be true. Yeah. That show literally was like, this is cool for a bit. And then I go, this should have been a 90-minute movie, not 10 one-hour episodes. That's every documentary. I know. Every documentary is nine documentaries.

I know. And you're just like, there's no reason that this needs to be ten hours. No, they gotta do fucking nine things on my sister or something. Because really, it is a ten hour movie. Yes. If you're allowed to binge watch it, you just made a ten hour movie with a tiny break in between. That's why.

I mean, we have friends that make documentaries, and we see them, and there's six episodes, and you go one episode, you go, really, the truck driver there was a pretty small part in this whole thing needs a whole episode does he you're talking the truck driver's ants now yeah so i actually might be making a documentary what are you gonna be talking about about that peter shickley guy i've been getting your love it dude i've been getting obsessed dude i've been getting deep did i tell you that we asked so for people who don't know because i've been talking

about there's so many projects dude this guy peter sh Shickley Won the Grammy award I talked to a guy This morning Who was on the Dude I talked to a guy This morning Who was on the Grammy committee Okay

Okay like I'm literally Like calling people I tell people Okay so this guy Peter Shickley He's like a composer He is An orchestra guy

He went to Juilliard He won best comedy album At the Grammys In 1990 1991 1992 1993 Somehow he won The best comedy album four times over like Dice Clay.

He beat Dice. He beat Sam Kinison. He beat George Carlin. And no one's ever heard of this guy. Nobody's ever heard of him. Dude, Dice was at the stand last week. And I go to Joe, our buddy Joe Harari, who's the manager. It was Dice's birthday last Thursday.

So I go, can you please go ask him about this guy, Peter Schickley? I'm like, I'm not going to bother him on his birthday. He's a nobody. Oh. Dude, he goes, literally he goes to ask him about the, he Peter Shickley? Oh! I'm like, I'm not going to bother him on his birthday. He's a nobody. Oh! Dude, he goes, literally he goes to ask him about, he goes, at first Dice goes, yeah, well, he's like, I'm the biggest comedian in the world.

You think the Grammys are going to let me win? Of course not, right? And then he was like, but do you know who this guy is? He goes, no, I don't know who he is. Nobody knows who he is. What the hell? It's the weirdest question. Is this sort of like a Shazam situation?

You know what I mean? Shazam, like the movie with Shaq? No, you know the thing where they say that we remember something that didn't happen. Oh, no. Like, dude, it's... Do you know what I'm talking about? No, what's Shazam? You don't know that thing that everyone says on the internet?

Remembering a movie that didn't happen? Shazam? Oh my God, dude. Not like the... No, I don't know. Talk about your fucking man crush. Anyway, so this guy is not my man crush, but I'm going to track him down.

I talked to a guy who was on the Grammy committee today, and the guy thinks that he thought... Mandela effect. Oh, Mandela effect, yeah. He thought that the Grammys was bullshit, and this guy who literally used to be a Grammy voter, but then wrote an article about the secrecy behind it and then got booted, which is how...

He got booted from the Grammy committee for writing this article about how it works the sin bad movie that doesn't exist thank you oh the sin bad movie i thought that was jack believe you don't know jack he spent a little less time focusing on your boyfriend dude i'm literally like fucking pepe silvia right now with the red strings being like going nuts about this but so anyways this guy's theory i talked to him this morning and he goes uh he goes i think what happened is he figured out- Talked to who this morning? This guy who used to be a Grammy voter. Wait, you're talking to him? Yes.

I had an hour long phone call this morning with him. Stop it. I swear to God. So that's what, you got so deep. I'm so deep. Because everybody who I keep telling about this is they're like, Danny, you have to keep going with this. Like every single person I've asked and they're like, yeah, this is insane.

So you're going to go visit him? Yeah. He lives in New York. I'm no, no, I didn't talk to Peter Shickley. I talked to the Grammy guy who used to be on the guy who got fired. Cause he's telling me how it works.

And he goes, I'm pretty sure that this Peter Shickley dude figured out how to game the Grammys. And that's, and he just did it as a big joke to win them. Cause how do you game them? Because so essentially the guy goes like on these categories that aren't the big categories and i guess comedy falls under that not that many people are actually voting it's like this whole anonymous thing and because he's an actual orchestra musician

who like has all these musician friends who are probably in the academy he could just submit himself and then tell his buddies to go vote for him so he if he can get like 30 people to vote for him kind of like that's the guy goes's like, there's way less people. He knows everyone in the Academy. Yeah, and there's hundreds and hundreds of people. So this guy's like, there's way less people who vote for this than you think. Like it's 200. Yeah, so he's like, honestly, for these categories.

Because he's like, for the best polka album, he's like, nobody actually listens to it. Nobody knows. Gotcha, it's Weird Al every year. Right, or whatever. So he's like, I'm pretty sure my guess is that he figured out a way and he was just doing this as a joke against the grammys to game the dude his bio like if you go what did you guys talk about on the phone i was just telling i go to how does

this all work i'm like you're sitting there smoking a cigarette like dude i'm i'm telling you this is driving me 1942 it's driving me nuts. And yeah, he's just like- Are you having sex? And you're just like mid-sex? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It just doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense. Everybody thinks I'm a lunatic

because I'm like, I keep bringing this up. You brought it up to me 40 times, yeah. Yeah, but dude, when Dice goes, the guy who, like Dice got nominated one time. He won five years in a row. No, yeah, the guy won four years in a row Dice was nominated once was the biggest comedian in the world and you go do you know who the guy who beat you at the

Grammys was he goes never heard of him four years in a row he beat you too no no he only beat him one year in a row because Dice only got nominated that one year but he pays attention we pay attention who wins the best comedy you think that but every comedy autistic nerd that I've talked to who's like everybody's like I'm an encyclopedia.

So far, one person has ever heard of this guy. And what did he say about him? He goes, and his thing was, he goes, yeah, I'm a huge classical music guy. That's why I know about him. So you're going to do a documentary on this guy? Maybe, yeah. I've been talking to, another guy I was talking to is this guy, David Silverman. Does it end with you and him getting married?

Maybe. No, it ends with me tracking him down because he lives in New york but he's 87 years old i've emailed him i've you don't have him you don't have a documentary of course of course right so i that's the whole thing is i gotta get to him but i uh his bio and stuff if you look at his twitter bio it just says like or or instagram bio it says uh composer musical satirist, something else. Doesn't even sit under the Grammy. Doesn't reference the four straight Grammys for best comedy album. It's so crazy that he doesn't even talk about it. He's avoiding the whole thing.

Why is he avoiding it? I don't know. Why would you not say, hey, I won four Grammys in a row. What's he hiding? Something. Something is being hidden. I'm telling you, something is going on here that is for this on that's there's just that is a good documentary

to make because you need to have a little obsession to make these documentaries i know and i and all the fact that he's here and then our boy dave from canada he made this hilarious fucking uh like cover of like it's called stolen laughter and it's his face. So you got to stop trashing him. If you're trying to get me in your doc. Well, he hasn't watched. He's not on the internet. You don't know,

dude. He's, you don't know what he's capable of. This guy's, this guy can be capable of anything. I don't know. Anyways, that's all I'm going to talk about it.

I got it. For now. Yeah. We'll see. Dude, for now. It's, it just boggles my mind that nobody's heard of him.

I've never heard of him. Nobody has. Nobody has. Yeah, I feel like the first two times you told me too, I was just like, what is he going on about?

Now I sort of get more why he cares so much. Dude, but every person I keep telling this to, I tell them the story and they go, this is insane. Right.

Like every person, I went on Revenge of the Cis, I told them all about it, they go, this is crazy. Yeah, you seem to be pretty into it. I am. Okay, I'll tell you what.

I'll add some financing to the doc if you actually make it. Okay. To make up for the fact that I don't really care that much. I'm having trouble caring about this guy. My hope is that he, yeah, I don't know. My hope is that he had some major dirt on some Grammy. Well, that's maybe what it is, yeah. It's a cool story, though, if it is.

Yeah, he blackmailed someone or something. Or if he really really did it as a joke as like a fuck you to the grammy and just they just i don't know pass under the radar four years in a row but it's like he beat weird al the year weird al sold two million copies for that nirvana album yeah how many podcasts have you think you talked about this on three i would say that's about low ball and does my own count yes four yeah he's probably getting up there now. You're going to... You think he's unknown. How unknown is the guy that only talks about him?

You know what the problem is, too, is I was kind of hoping that I would talk about this and someone would just... Is your chick getting pretty fed up with this? No, I haven't even really talked to her about it, but... This is becoming almost a problem a little bit. You know what the thing is? You're going to be going to a therapist.

It is. You're going to be in the padded walls going, I've been saying that honestly and the thing i was really hoping for is i would tell this to someone and they just give me the explanation and then i just move on with it because you're because you know people in comedy because we know everybody in comedy but the problem is everybody everything that i tell everyone tells it just pushes me further into this is insane well they because everybody else everybody else is sort of like they say oh that's crazy and then they sort of look back and they go they go yeah he's losing it is danny all right he's talking about this composer dude this poker guy nobody ever heard of him that is this ends with you and padded walls that's

where the doc ends this no where this ends this guy and you and padded walls and peter's shickly as the co-host of the boys cast i fucking hope so man it's me and him and he'd be like yeah that guy wouldn't leave me alone dude i go yeah i don't know i don't know it's fucking i'm the problem is i like there's a couple of people like yeah but it's like it's the grammys you know okay like the simpsons guy who i was talking to was like he sent me got a simpsons guy the you know? Like the Simpsons guy who I was talking to was like, he sent me- You got a Simpsons guy? Dude, the director of the Simpsons movie. You've been gabbing up with him about shit, really?

Yeah, because I found a shickly tweet and he replied to it. So then I messaged him and I clicked on his profile. What'd you say? What do you say? So this guy followed me already. So then I DM him

and he's like an OG animator of the simpsons from 1987 like he's like and you said hey what's going on i go hey what's the deal with this guy you know him and he goes i go how did he win four grammys he's like honestly i don't know i don't know either uh and he goes yeah it's weird like i don't know he's like he's sworn to secrecy something going on hollywood secrets something going on i don't know that's all I can say Said too much Speaking of comedy In Toronto If you're in Toronto October 15th Our boy Paul Thompson

Is doing his first Comedy special It's gonna be super fun Paul Thompson is PaulThompsonFineArt.com So you can get tickets there We're shouting that puppy out So

Yeah He's only There's only like 30 tickets left So go And like a bunch Some of our other Super funny friends Are gonna be on there

Yeah Highly recommend Yeah go check out His comedy special Anyone who used to Go to the corner Or whatever Knows that he was

Like the man But probably Okay this A couple of small things Before I actually do have Some of the best articles In a while this week Is the first one

Probably like the most Fucking joke shit ever Is like you know How Mark Wahlberg said That he would take down The 9-11 plane Yeah So new Mark Wahlberg thing is he was doing an interview

and he said that he could play 18 holes of golf in less than an hour. Which is insane. By the way, as someone who golfs, they're like, we have a group of friends and we always go slow and we get, literally, they come up to us and be like, yo, you gotta pick it up. And we're playing like four and a half hour rounds.

Some people play five and a half hours. Well, you have to be running and he says, he goes, I would tee off at six in the morning and then run down the golf course. We'd hit a drive and then just sprint to the ball. And then the caddies would come with the cards. So, yo, can you imagine if you were, first of all, anyone that's in front of him, imagine there should be a nightmare. The guy behind you is like, you look behind you, a guy's sprinting full speed and it's

Mark Wahlberg. He has to use the same club the entire time probably no no no because he's meeting the cat so the caddies drive up to the ball okay then why then sprinting didn't help if the car got there first the whole purpose is he's sprinting so he gets there before the caddy but if you're still waiting for the caddy then how does the sprinting maybe maybe he just hits the and then he grabs the club he needs but the problem is like the thing is sometimes you don't know what club you need until you're like i'm in the woods yeah i need this club i'm on the fairway every time well no because he's hitting a drive you can't hit it well who's doing this with him too he has to be by himself but the funny part is with this stuff it's like it's one thing if you're like hey i've got

this crazy guy i know that tries to be the first guy at the course and runs the course and plays with one club and you're like this psycho, we know it. It's a whole other thing if it's Mark Wahlberg hitting a ball.

I guess the caddy would be waiting out on the fairway. Sprinting as fast as he can. There was a guy on the PGA Tour who did that this year, but I think he...

He sprinted between balls? Yeah, he was running because someone told him. Because he was, I think he had already been eliminated from a tournament. Or he was going to miss the cut or whatever. For being too slow? No, no, no. For just his score. And then someone told him what the record was.

And I think as a joke, he's like, you know what? I'm just going to go for the record. Oh, as a joke. He's like, whatever. I'm over anyways. For the fastest time. And so I'm just going to try. And he was sprint, as a joke. He's like, whatever, I'm over anyways. For the fastest time. And so I'm just going to try. And he was sprinting from thing to thing.

Well, that's a joke. But that was like a joke. Mark Wahlberg does it dead seriously. That's a lot of running, dude. This is ridiculous. Like, you're talking about, assuming you don't hit any shanks, you're still doing like 6,000, 7,000 yards.

Dude, if you had the guy behind you, on the hall behind you, you see him sprinting towards you so mark walberg's full of baloney but i love it this is what i've been saying this forever though that this is what action action stars should be is they should a little bit believe that they are in real life yeah and i've been saying that forever one of the biggest reasons is that like jason momoa's stinky action star is he doesn't he's like he comes out there and tries to play a tough guy and then he goes back

and then after the action star movie's done, he goes and talks about how women are so great. Of course, yeah. He's actually like, how you, you know, his wife, everything he has

is because of his wife and we need to do better with the environment and just fucking pussy Hollywood shit, right? Yeah. You need an action star who's like,

Hollywood needs me. Like, you need, you want an action star who's like, there's no movie in you need you want an action star who's like there's no movie in the world that if i wasn't a star of wouldn't be the number one hitting the box office like that kind of cocky energy yeah he doesn't have that i mean because he does that but yeah momoa does not have that no not a chance i just can't i guess he's in so fit that even the running doesn't tire him because you're like if you're like trying to putt and you're just like

like you're like kind of huffing and puffing it doesn't make for good putting i guess he doesn't care about his score i don't know it's weird it's so stupid but i love it loki okay his friends probably fucking hate it his friends don't go with that yeah yeah you want to go for a round they're like uh yeah not really i like try to relax i'm gonna go all right boys i gotta take a quick second here to tell the fellas about Babbel. If you're trying to learn a new language, maybe you regret not doing it in school. Maybe you're traveling abroad. You want to impress the ladies. Maybe you just want to have a conversation with someone that speaks a different language.

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It's only a thruple. But it's a... So sexologist Tamika Wilder opens up about living with boyfriend, husband, and kids. And every line in it...

Dude, there's lines in it legitimately from the sketch. It's crazy. It is in the state. A lot of crazy shit going on in Australia, right? Is it? This is Australia.

We've got the Mamma Mia's all Australia stuff. What's Mamma Mia's? The articles we always read from MammaMia.com. Oh, is that Australia? That's all Australia what's Mamma Mia's the articles we always read from MammaMia.com oh is that Australia that's all Australian yeah a lot of wild stuff

happening down there yeah there are a bunch of freaks over there freaks we know a lot of listeners are from Australia I know I might do that

in probably a year and a half and I'm looking at coming to London maybe next year too London I know because I looked at it and the numbers were high so it might be worth doing

it's not that crazy of a flight either to London but also there is something to be said about if you start dating a girl and you go what's her job and she goes I'm a sexologist you know that's gonna come with some nutty shit

that's what you know Necro he goes I'm the sexorcist would you ever tell that to your chick and you go you know I'm bringing three other girls back you go babe you know I'm a sexologist what are you supposed to do what did you think I babe, you know I'm a sexologist. What are you supposed to do? What did you think I meant when I said I was a sexologist? A sexologist.

That's, you know, Necro, he goes, Necro, the sexist. And at the end of it, he goes,

suffocate on load. That's the end of the song. That's good shit. Necro, the sexist. But yeah, So she's dating You start dating the sexologist You're gonna have some problems

Yeah I mean you're asking for money You're raising the sexologist kids right So Tamika Wilder Who's based in the Byron Shore And she has her work as a sex coach Which probably The worst advice of all time You know what I mean

That's If your girlfriend started going to a sex coach That would make your life a living fucking hell Oh brutal you know i would be one of those things where i'd be like you're going to this person as a sex coach once a week like that's the end of i'm not participating in whatever it is oh imagine she goes whatever journey you're is couple sex coaching you'd come in and she'd be like we're starting with swings like okay we're gonna fucking work on that core everybody put in their butt plugs everybody put in their butt plugs we need you hanging from your legs upside down and your girl's got a dildo on smashing

in your face. You're like, I hate this. It'd be a nightmare. You know what I mean? Worst thing ever. So the sex coach, what you need is a dude sex coach that's like, you know, you're going to want to go in then out. It's going to be sort of an in and out situation.

You're not going to want to go longer than three, four minutes. That's going to start to hurt her. Yeah, sex coach for the boys. It's actually bad for the vagina if you start working. If you start passing that four or five minute mark, you're going to be doing some damage to the downstairs. Yeah, you are. So I suggest you trying to figure out how to finish up

within the first four or five minutes is for your own good, ma'am. That's the kind of sex coach you want, not the girl that's like, you're going to want to block off four or five hours a day this is so annoying insane sex coach what what do you what could you possibly even get the thing is she said but she shows you she shows you one of those fake jobs too where you go like oh i'm a sex coach you go how many people do you coach it's like i've won a month one of mine for sure one a month she helps moms who want to reconnect with their sexuality joy and pleasure she told host maggie kelly um about what some might view as an unconventional living that's the other part you got your fucking mother your kids

is at the sex coach and he goes what is the sex coach life like she lives with nine guys this is all her boyfriends this is who you're getting coached by yeah there's gonna be some changes around the house that's not good that's all it's all this is the peak of the thing where i say girls always give the advice that ruins people runs the other girls lives of course her so she goes it was i was very clear from the beginning of our relationship that i had a polyamorous or open relating values and that was something that was non-negotiable in terms of my relating style and you date the yeah you date the sex let's be clear you date the sexologist sexologist is going to get some strange on the side yeah they are you think you're going to date the sexologist it's sexology research that is it's like i'm working

on my master i'm doing my research i'm researching yeah you come home just like nine guys walking out what's up what's up dan daniel are you guys her research partners yeah you come in you guys all tamika's research partners okay what kind of mess we got in there they go oh it ain't good you're mopping the floor grab the hazmat suit because you're gonna want to i got you some magnum condoms really as you asked for your research yeah that's you mopping the ceiling with your mom do you guys have to leave the ceiling fan on hey do you mind uh making a little bit less mess when you're researching. I do love the idea of you walking into the house and the nine guys,

Danny, Daniel, Danny boy, they all slap you in the ass. Or giving me the Donald Trump handshakes, the one where it ragdolls you a bit. I'm like, ah. They're all giving you a rough handshake. Hey, you got a good woman in there. Oh.

Hey, you got a good woman in there. Hey, I wouldn't recommend she sits on hard surfaces. We left a donut in the bedroom. She's going to want to use that for about a week. My research. I met this person who's now my partner, and I came back home to the father of my kids and told him about this person I'd met. I'd said, I'm not willing to not see this person again there's just something with us it's a thread that

I must follow yeah sounds like you're really leaving it open for him to say no no that's no this is at the dinner table and then you're like okay and kids how was your day all right this is so crazy dude it's so funny but obviously there is um uh if you are some like freaky dude or whatever there is a part of like if you are if you are this this is probably the biggest part where this these kind of people why they ruin people's lives so much it's like if because if you are like a sexologist you blog about sex you're like living this lifestyle and it's almost for content to some degree you know what i mean the same reason that like if you're a youtuber that like causes trouble and gets kicked out of places like getting arrested might

be good for your career but if you work at general motors getting arrested is insane thing to do of course you know what i mean for your career right so it's with these people she and it's the same reason why like hollywood people can kind of pull off different relationships. A lot of them come, you have more money. There's a lot of things like that, right? Yeah. But with her, she's given very specific advice probably that only works for one specific person. Has some guy that's a super weirdo.

You know what I mean? And she's always saying, you know, I'm just trying to live my truth. And you're like, that would be great if that didn't involve other guys moving in. That would be great if you were a dude that just smashed tons of girls like her sister. And you're just like, I want to just live my truth, babe. My truth is having sex with your sister. I was just getting in touch with my truth. And I realized that my truth is smashing all the fucking hot females.

You got to be like, whoa, we're just living our truth, aren't we? That's my truth. Are we not doing that? Yeah, my truth is also not telling the truth afterwards living my truth is actually lying so everyone has their own truth my truth involves a lot of me not telling the truth there she goes jameika made it clear that it didn't happen overnight describing rob's transition into the household so he kind of you know at first he just bought a he brought a few bags and a backpack the boyfriend moving you know there's that awkward thing with the kids where they're like you're not he tells him something to do and

you go you're not my father he's like that's right i'm not your father i'm your father's wife's boyfriend and you will give me some respect i'm your stepdad dad yeah that's right i am uh no he goes he goes you're not my dad no he goes that's right but i am her dad yeah i am her dad he's uh i think we actually hung out with the kids once or twice on her own and then the two dads hung out on their own and then it would be all that's a real awkward one i'm just sitting out there that's the thing with the it's in the sketch the two dads have to spend some quality time together. And then it would be all five of us,

and we just kind of stopped gradually. No, the two dads is very like, oops, sorry. Oh, oh, oh, sorry. Oh, oh, oh, oh, sorry. Oh, you're going to take her for, oh, sorry. Yeah, yeah. So, you into video games? Yeah, yeah.

What do you do? What stuff do you like? It's way funnier if the one guy is like you know it was very much uh like a tough guy with leather jacket just here to smash the wife and doesn't want any of this stuff you know what i mean he like he basically turns the og dad husband into like a step kid like yes correct yeah he goes like there's gonna be some changes around here yeah he's sort of and he sort of like bullies him a little bit like he's eating cereal changes around here yeah he's sort of any sort of like bullies him a little bit like he's eating cereal he just says you know

no like the old dad's eating like an ice cream cone he just gives him like a little taps it into the mouth gives him like the over-unders and stuff like what's it over I'm doing when someone goes in like behind you just push them over someone like all the classic oh yeah the kid you get the kid to bend down yeah push them over hip checks over like just a little hollow yeah basically basically what mark walberg did to will ferrell and stepbrother stepdads or whatever right but um it was also important she explained that rob and harry have lots of conversations so this is my favorite part because not only do they have to have the two guys living there she insisted that on top of that we're gonna have to have lots of conversations which

actually sounds probably worse like to me the fact that some guy is coming and smashing the wife is probably not as bad as all the sit down round table discussions you have to have about it after absolutely horrible all the conversations lots yeah like they have to have about it after. Absolutely horrible. All the conversations. Lots. Yeah. Like they have to do like a recap after like they have a three song. She wants, she wants,

yeah, but she's like, if any, just spreadsheets and stuff and like, yeah, this is just a woman that found, you know, it's,

it's kind of like a Hugh Hefner style where it's like, you have a guy that just has a bunch of girls living in it. And he's like, you know, and the best way to do this is this. And I like it this way. And this way it's like, yeah, you convinced a bunch of girls to be in your cult or whatever

you know i mean and this is like a woman who's i would imagine fairly masculine who basically convinced like two dudes to be the woman in his cult yeah i mean she's straight up sad i guess she before they got married she said this is how i am but then like she's like yeah i met this guy and like it's just it's not up for debate whether he's gonna be right the guy goes oh okay so it's cult leader dynamic is essentially what the scenario is you know what i mean but i feel like a guy wouldn't have the audacity like even like mafia leaders you know don't have the audacity to be like the guma's moving in oh hell no you know what i mean only girls have the audacity for that kind of stuff like guys at least admit that they're getting away with something when they have those scenarios a girl would have a scenario like this and be like no

we're all on the exact same page here and we're gonna have lots of discussions about it i mean even in the sopranos when the one called tony's house like that was the ultimate like not great yeah you don't even call my house are you crazy what are you out of your mind yeah so you're not moving in yeah right the communication the open relating piece is huge. Open relating piece. A lot of people find it quite exhausting, mainly the two guys. I find it exhausting just listening to this shit. She goes, Dave and Rob moved in.

And a lot of the guys, mainly Dave and Rob, found this very exhausting that we had to have so many conversations, but you've got to be really on top of it. So, convo time. And then the guys are just like, you sure you don't want to just go bang him again? Probably, you know. Can we do anything other than these fucking conversations?

I'd say it might be just time for you to get another smash in with Robby, though. Robby, get her. Dave, Rob's like, Dave, I think you're up. Hey, hey, hey. No, no, no, no, no. No, he goes, no, it's the opposite. They're like, we have to pretend like Dave, I think you're up. No, no, no, no. No, he goes, no, it's the opposite. They're like,

we have to pretend like they, I insist. After you. I mean, look, you're the one who pleasures her the best. I wish it was me, but you just, you lay it down so good.

You've got the golden piece from God. I would not want to disgrace her with having to go in there and give her my little piece. He goes, actually the piece isn't as big as some people say it is. It's pretty bad. And I go, no, no, no.

You're just being modest. You're being modest. We all know. Yeah, but I couldn't get it up that one time. But that's more work for her. And she likes the work. You know that. So that helps her tire her out.

Gives her an extra seven to eight minutes to add to the whole equation. And then he starts being like... Like giving these little keys. Get in there. Go bang my wife. Oh, but I did it Thursday and I gave her quite a talk. Gave her quite a dick on Thursday.

Oh, yeah. But the week before that... Yeah. And then it's like the sketch. There's like a schedule and like... And then it's cut. They have to start...

Oh, this isn't fair. And they go, all right, we'll do it. Yeah, but it's the opposite them trying to put the other person on the schedule that has to be

it's either the yeah the dude's just like kind of operates like a like a woman in a cult or the one that I

hope it is sometimes is the guy that's just so over it but he doesn't know how to get out he's too much of a pussy to get out but he just wants to play video games i mean they do have two kids so he's like maybe just like hey i'll just sure but all the convo has probably made it worse although i imagine if he's worried about fucking up the kids you'll fuck them up less by

getting a divorce and doing a split parenting than probably introducing a new guy yeah probably a little yeah probably this will screw the kids up a little more i would say but especially all the convos and the kids probably have to be there for the convos they need to hear this you know what i mean kids this is the schedule it's just the same as a regular relationship she says but with extra pretty similar but with extra people there were some days we'd look at each other like oh my god this is awesome i love it she goes it's the same as a regular relationship, just with extra people. You're like, yeah,

that makes it so different. Yeah, exactly. It makes it not possibly more different. Do you think that the other guys, when she looked at them like, oh my God, this is awesome.

Do you think that that's what they were also? Yes, this is. Red your mind. Well, no, the one guy who just like needed a place to stay. That's possible.

And he's just like conning himself into a. On the count of three, let's say what we're both thinking. One, two, three. This is awesome. Kick him both thinking. One, two, three. This is awesome. Kick him out.

You might also think this is awesome. I also believe this to be awesome. I also believe this is an awesome situation. We've changed the configuration, and we've changed the living configuration. So they made some modern... Do you think the two dudes just share one bunk bed, and she has a king-size bed? Yeah, they got two bunks. The kids have bunk beds. The dads have bunk beds. She just has a king size bed yeah she's got they got two bunks the kids have bunk beds the dads have bunk beds she just no this is what happens there's two bunk beds and then she's in the like uh like an enclave like kind of beside the room but it's one big room and there's strings attached to a bell on either bunk bed and she kind of holds

them at night and then she pulls whatever string she wants the guy to come. And they can't fall asleep because they're just staring at the bell hoping it doesn't go off. They're like, and goes, I'm ready. Are you ready? What have we gotten ourselves into? You know,

this is them, the Seinfeld episode where they're putting the tryptophan in their turkey and stuff like that and trying to get her to go to sleep so the dads can play with the toys yeah yeah you know that's uh yeah so she has like two bells and she looks at them and she goes who am i thinking are we a rob night we're your dave night and then she yeah they have to scurry over and she goes uh i gave you three minutes what were you doing over there oh i was just chatting with dave just just hanging out

and the boy's dad is here like all the time we're all really close friends my boyfriend and the boy's dad they hang out and go for walks and give each other hugs hugs she says they're not gay but the hugs is that would be the ultimate if they're just two gay dudes and then they really flip the tables on her. That's huge. And yeah, she was the breadwinner. But yeah,

that's not happening. But imagine she walks in and I'm having gay sex and then like her whole world's fucked because she's like, wait, what? And she can't say anything. She's a sexologist. Sexologist.

Rude. Yeah, yeah. Sexologist can't be against that. Total tables. Maybe they're just like, the only way out of this is if we fuck. They're like,

look, I don't like this as much as you don't like this're just like, the only way out of this is if we fuck. They're like, look, I don't like this as much as you don't like this, so there's only one way out. It's like that James Franco movie. I'm going on top. I'm going on top. He's got to cut his arm off

or whatever. This is like the equivalent of, fuck, I don't like this either, but we're going to have to fuck if we want out. There's only one way

to get our old lives back. Yeah, I guess that they weigh each other to see who gets to be on top they have like a whole system they're doing like the fishing you know the fishing cheating scandal guys like putting lead weights in his stomach just to weigh more oh yeah but i do love the fact that you say the dad's hug i think that's one of those things where the whole family has to do the hugs and they go are we handshaking we hugging we're doing okay we'll just do one two i guess there hi okay uh yep uh that was weird uh all right robbie again it is your time tonight anyways so i had a couple

uh thoughts on the topic of because i feel like um i feel like uh i've been talking about uh like the black red bill stuff sort of taking over the internet yeah and a lot of those clips go viral and stuff and it kind of had some thoughts what i thought yeah i had a thing where i thought he was a little off too and i was i just sort of like honing my my uh thoughts on this but one of the things with this that i was thinking on the plane is that you know how like girls all do things like tell other girls like be slutty and no one should care

and that kind of stuff and obviously like there is some guys who don't care and whatever there's like a spectrum like anything else right but the truth is

the telling girls to like put on weight and like be you know just be like gross and put on weight and like be like you know make yourself

not a prize like make yourself not sought after at all essentially right like everything that guys like it shouldn't matter essentially it shouldn't matter you know what the reason why girls fall for that a little bit is because it's sort of the same phenomenon as when guys like get really fat and then like take their shirt off and like get like become the drunk party animal like everyone loves them except for girls it's sort of like that it's like in the woman so for girls valid you're really like pretending you're doing this for you're doing it for girls validation you know what i mean like yeah y'all do they are they go like what does it matter what a man thinks that's the whole point right exactly like what does it matter like a man doesn't get to say have an opinion but isn't that

very similar than like to like the fat party animal dude that actually doesn't get to say, have an opinion about my body. But isn't that very similar to like the fat party animal dude that actually doesn't get chicks? Kind of. You know what I mean? And those guys, there always is a little bit as they get older, like I would want a chick though. Of course. I mean, these women, I guess the difference is they can get somebody. They can get smashed. Yeah.

They'll get somebody just not great. And then one of the reasons why girl advice is so bad for guys and and vice versa because it kind of whenever i like a lot of times when i'm telling people things with like women i feel like it doesn't resonate with them that well and one of the reasons is there's too many premises that have to be like accepted first if that makes sense and like so if you're if you're telling it kind of reminded me of this like here's a good example and i feel like i figured out a way to like say this clearly um you know if you have a parent and i feel like my parents a little bit like

when even doing comedy and stuff like that yeah they it's not like my parents were pushy but they were to the point they do look at this as like something that you don't actually do for real like it was obviously you do it at first and but that never like affected me like crazy but if ever i have a problem in the industry like it's maybe a little bit less now but like even like you know growing up if i had a problem like let's say like oh like i'm i'm supposed to do i'm doing this tv thing and i do this it was like all the problems would kind of be like the overarching well like entertainment's very like you'd almost have to explain you have to every time before ever like talking about the thing you need to justify the whole existence of course of course yeah you know what I mean yeah whereas like with girls there's

so many things that they don't like agree with the premises that it almost reminds me of And I thought this is the best way to look at girl advice to a guy is a human is like a software, right? Yeah, and the right advice at the right time kind of comes at you like a plug-in for your software Right like a Chrome extension, but it has to be compatible with the software Interesting. So if you if you have like a software that's like running your life a certain way and then like let's say your computer program is really good at this and then they have software that's like good for like this emotional computer

that kind of like thinks a certain way. And then some of it's a virus. Some of it, yeah, you put it in yours. It's like a virus. It's like a virus, yeah. It operates like a virus. Like a woman gives you bad advice to a dude, she just installed a virus on It operates like a virus. Like a woman gives you bad advice to a dude, she just installed a virus on you.

100%. Yeah. Because, yeah, so I think that the times that I'll give the ones to a woman is that like they can't just optimize for one thing at once. I feel like they're bad at like thinking about that. So a lot of times I'll forget

that I have to give them advice where it's like, okay, it's not an option to just like not have this much like family time and not have this much. So it's like okay it's not an option to just like uh not have this much like family time and not have this much so it's like my advice is always like change the whole thing because like i'm just like this doesn't make sense how you're operating yeah my advice is trying to install a virus i'm trying to like change their operating system usually right and that's not going to happen no but the guys they can modify their operating system but i think that that's a good way to look at it when you're looking at someone giving you advice understand if it's like compatible with like your personality's operating system. But I think that that's a good way to look at it. When you're looking at someone giving you advice,

understand if it's compatible with your personality's operating system. Oh, for sure. It's such a good way to decide. Also, always get a second opinion if it's anything of any sort of... But one thing they always say is being great involves taking advice,

but it also involves understanding what advice will actually... Not to say. Yeah, which one will be compatible. But if you think of yourself like a software and you you're putting plugins in i think that's like a good way of looking at it interesting and then that led me to my last point because i don't want to go on in this forever but it led me to my last point which was uh the kevin samuels and a lot of people like that do say something that i've said a version of which they always say with women

uh don't tell them your problems you know what i mean yeah and i've kind've said a version of, which they always say with women, don't tell them your problems. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I've kind of said some version of that. Like, you know, there's almost no point. And their thing is like with a pergamy and stuff like that, which means girls date up.

Whenever you tell a girl your problems, it's just making them... It makes you worse in their eyes. It makes you worse in their eyes and they'll eventually like lose respect. But it's like, that's not... I think that's not totally correct because I think what the truth is, is if you think of yourself like a company and think of,

if think about you being an employee in a company or an investor in a company or anything like that, right? Okay. If the stock's going up and the company looks like it's going up and growth is happening, they're making more money this year than they were last year, but they're have problems like, you know what I need? We need more employees. We're having trouble with this thing. Like, oh, like we're too overworked. We need more staff. Like you're allowed to have problems like you know what i need we need more employees we're having trouble with this thing like oh like we're too overworked we need more staff like you're allowed to have problems they just can't be stock is dropping problems yeah they can't be like fatalistic problems like you don't want to be like hey we're bankrupt and she's like okay well i'm going so the problem you can tell girls all your problems which is what they want they think because they're like oh i want you to be open and tell me all your problems you're like no you don't

you just want these like kind of small ones you don't want this you don't want the really serious ones they want like emotional stuff but sometimes there is a benefit to telling a girl a bunch of problems

just to get her off your back of course you know what I mean just be like oh I'm so stressed out with this thing and like all this stuff this Peter Shickley dude

is ruining my fucking life so she right dude that's the best one actually you'd say she goes yeah I don't care about this. This counts as a problem.

Thank you. But also, I don't care. Guilty word. Yeah. I think so. Yeah. She goes, you just got to give the softball problems.

It's kind of like a... They can. I think they're not going to help that much. But I think a lot of times you'll talk about, I talk about girls that I'm with about things that I'm dealing with or whatever, but they can't the underlying assumption can't be like you're fucked of course

because then they're like well why am i even investing in this ship that's sinking and the word yeah that obviously and then also the advice they're going to give to help you when they have absolutely like no like you know concept of what's going on with that and they're like oh what about this you go no like you like it's even worse because then they start giving you this bad advice and it makes you bothered that that's like you're like i told you and they go well why don't you just like call up saturday night live and ask them to be the star of it you're like that's not how it works though you go but what just go get lauren they give you the number and i give you yeah you know like the uncle advice you go why don't you just like call up madison square garden

and ask if you could do a show there? Yeah, you'd be better off than just saying you should quit than that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. At least that's just like, and I go, yeah, I'm not quitting.

You go, okay. Agree to disagree to some degree. Whereas that, they're right because you're almost rather numb. It's woman-splaining. It's literally just woman-splaining. Yeah, so you don't want that.

So what the- It's like Monty's joke. You're like fixing your car and then like your mom comes out and you're like, don't do it like that. You're like, fuck do you know about fixing a car?

Yeah, no, it was the land that was fixing his house and he goes, I've been a landlord four times. Yeah, yeah. No, he had one about the car too. He has the same joke. He had a tough week on,

obviously with a few of those things going on. But yeah, I think that's the best way to like describe it is like, yeah, it's the same reason with your buddies. Like even, I think it's the same with everyone a little bit like once in a while there's like a fatalistic problem that i think is probably better suited for the bodies than the thing but really you're complaining about

like somebody at work or this yeah like you have problems but they're not like you're still stable because no one likes someone that it's like the whole thing's a mess no no i mean some people do actually well they might some girls like a fixer-upper that they can own i guess yeah yeah but their lives are generally messes too it's not like they have everything together and they just want some complete disaster and also you'll lose all the hand in the relationship in return for being that guy yeah of course so that's you know that's kind of i think it was a little more nuanced it's not that you just can't tell your girls a problem it's just like she's you

can't ever like sacrifice the fact that you seem like a good ship to be on yeah for sure yeah you want to be like uh you want the boss to come out not to say that you're always the boss in relationship but like i'm just saying in the company analogy let's say even the representative you want the company representative to come out and be like um you know you know like things are going good but we need this we need this you don't want the boss to come out and be like yo we're fucked yeah you're like the pilot who's like does anybody know how to fly this thing yeah yeah yeah exactly right because then they're like i'm getting off this plane and getting on a better one yeah so that's probably the full synopsis of that that's that's accurate which is theory yeah not bad theory i thought my hard drive theory was okay you should

start a boys cast he's not even girl guy really it's like a in general sort of like a feel like it's a good theory yeah you're sort of boys devices are a little theories channel yeah maybe i could do a theories channel theories and queries just a specific just all the theories no just take one day's is theories and Wednesdays is queries. All right. If Peter Shickley doesn't kill me first. That would be crazy if we got a knock on the door. Hello, Daniel.

Hello, Daniel. You've been fucking asking around about me. I recommend you mind your business. We definitely talk like that. I want you to your business. We definitely talk like that. He does, totally. I want you to keep my fucking name out of your mouth. I hope so.

I hope he's like an actual piece of shit. He seems nice. Yeah, you're going to get a call from the Grammy committee like, what's this? What are you doing?

What are you doing? Yeah, what are you doing, dude? You know too much. It's like someone... This shiggly guy is going to be the death of you. He might be.

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25% off your subscription or try out the app for free. Try it out for free when you sign up at fitbod.me slash boyscast. That's 25% off your subscription or try it free at fitbod.me slash boys cast let's get back into it so bros you obviously saw that you know what's funny did you know but someone we

know uh comic who i'm not going to name anything past that but posted in bros like no like two weeks ago posted uh just an instagram story and it's like hey i didn't know it was a girl and it's like i didn't know i had a like a private theater right beside my house this is awesome like it's a joke because they were alone in the theater okay and i just didn't think anything of it and then i think the next day i watched the next story and she was watching bros no way she was alone in the theater not a single person only person in the theater well listen this is what i'll say about bros because yes i'm not gonna watch the fucking bro is the tree should we watch it no have you seen the trailer it's like

okay you know what have you i actually have some real theories about this yeah okay so me too i've been actually sort of i do have some theories about this also interesting we'll see if they're so basically bros and this is what uh there's like the whole thing the trailer was like you know this is a movie not for you like the trailer was one step away from like kicking you

you know what I mean it was like oh how do you feel about movies you homophobe finally a movie not for straight people what do you think

and then it did bad and then Billy Eichner who I think he's made some funny on the street stuff agreed everyone who isn't a homophobic weirdo should go see Bros Tonight

you will have a blast and it is especially uniquely powerful story for a big serene especially for queer folks who don't get this opportunity that often i love this movie so much go bro so listen i know you gotta sell tickets and i know that you gotta try to get on some wave or whatever right but my there's a bunch of stuff but i'll just say my overarching thesis and then we'll start from there yes we are getting in deep in bros yeah my over should my over a bunch of bros we're just a couple bros talking about bros bros on bros exactly right bros the the probably the most part is that hollywood can't hollywood is like four years behind cultural trends always right like they started making this movie three years ago, right? Of course.

And then they can't decide whether being gay is actually super normal and there's nothing big deal about it, or it's this crazy edgy thing that like no one is. And so they toggle back and forth between being like, because if it's a normal thing, they would just be like, you know, everyone should go see this movie, but they have to be like, this is like,

finally someone's making a gay movie and you're like, they made 4,000 gay movies this year. You think there's like, not gay representation on television? Yeah, right, like, Superman's was gay. Everything, yeah, Velma is now gay. Oh, yeah.

And you know what's crazy? There's like, 1 in 30's was gay. Everything, yeah. Velma is now gay. Oh, yeah. And we know it's crazy. There's no short, there's like, one in 30 people are gay. In Hollywood, it's like way higher probably now. Yeah.

It's like the most represented group, right? It's 20% of the whole population right now. Exactly. So it's the most represented group. So it's just become like, they've won their battle where it's completely normal. Of course. But Hollywood was like,

yo, we used to be able to normal. But Hollywood was like, yo, we used to be able to get some heat by being like, we're on the LGBTQ thing. Now they can no longer get that heat. Cause no, everyone's like, yeah, it's a gay movie.

So they have to like go extra hard and be like, it's the gayest movie of all time. At the time when they told everyone representation is the most important thing in the world. People want to watch movies with them. Anyway, here's these movie with these nine guys having an orgy. And you're like, okay, well, I probably won't watch that.

And then also it's the same thing as She-Hulk where you go, guys have to watch this with their like girlfriend or wife or whatever. Like no one. Yeah, not like a bunch of boys being like movie night. Yeah, right. Let's grab some beers. So they're going for a very specific demographic.

The demographic that's like watching the movie almost like to stick it to white men. Yeah, which is mostly women. And my last point was also very specific demographic, the demographic that's like watching the movie, almost like to stick it to white men. Yeah. And then my last, which is mostly women. And my last point was also just from a movie making standpoint, like if I was even like involved in this, I don't think the name was a good name.

Bad name. Yeah. Like, like you doesn't need to be called bros. It could be the same movie, not called bros. I agree. And it like,

you would have honestly, bros was like a poor choice of name. Yeah. And then, well, anyways, my last thing was, because if you have like the super gay movie

and like, obviously you're trying to be in the LGBTQ space and you're trying to be kind of like soft and you know what I mean? Feminine and stuff like that. I think he should have paired up with like the South Park. Like find a director, like Judd Apatow. It's like, you go the softest topic, the softest energy for girls.

Then we're going to get the softest. There was like too many things that were just like, it was too much. Judd Apatow already, he was always pairing with edgy guys and sort of making soft movies. That was his sort of niche. It's like, that works a lot better when the original thing wasn't so soft also.

Yeah, you need some sort of contrast between the two things. Exactly. Everything can't be everything, right? So anyways, those are my kind of original things. You tell me yours. So I mean, okay. So obviously there's a few things. Exactly. Everything can't be everything, right? So anyways, those are my kind of original things. You tell me yours. So I mean, okay. So obviously there's a few things at play. One being,

there's the kind of obvious, I don't think he tweeted, but he at some point came out and he goes, if you voted for Donald Trump, even if you're LGBT, if you're a conservative, don't see this movie.

Don't come see my movie. That's what he thought. The numbers are going to be a little high. Yeah, that's what he thought. He'd go, yeah, but 81 million people voted for Joe Biden. So if like- You know what that is, Danny?

If most of them come see the movie, we're good. You know what that is? That's the guy at the beginning of the night at the Barbian, like, I'm going to fuck that. Totally, totally. I'm only here for tens, boys. Yeah, he pulls out the strip of condoms. He goes, going to be using all these tonight. And then at the end of the night, he's just like going home.

He's like, ah. That's like ah that's exactly what that's what that tweet was that's the but he straight up he goes to half the country don't go see this movie yeah exactly

okay well that's not great start Billy but I have actually a different theory this is more of a oh you got a theory more of a scientific

if this involves your fucking guy again no it has nothing to do with him nothing to do with him so do you remember I brought it up in our group chat so do you remember there's the the article from there's an article um a psychology article from 2017 that said that they they were showing uh pictures of to uh people and like that the physiological response of straight men to gay men kissing was the same as them seeing photos of maggots

do you remember that there's an actual cycle yeah i remember them it's in psych it's like psychology today or it's just i mean but i'm saying you're like but all the all that that study says is that like you're kind of like it's grossed out is one part of your brain one part of your brain i'm not saying like obviously this is specific i'm sure it's the same part if you see like a of like a disgusting people have sex. Of course, of course. But I'm just saying that if that is in fact true, which they're saying, this was a peer-reviewed thing. They went too hard on it?

They just maybe went too hard and then straight guys see that and they're just like, yeah, I don't know if that is in fact true. Which, again, this is a peer-reviewed thing in some actual journal. Well, they would consider it homophobia, yeah. I guess they would consider it homophobia. And yes, maybe it is homophobia. I'm just saying that that could be a contributing factor. So you're like, you're now like half the people and then you're just like chopping up this pie

to the point where you're really just left with like a small sliver. Well, who's it for though? Because like when they do like, when they show titties, like you know what I mean? You're like, obviously low-key it's for the, you know, like dudes will see a titty and be like, nice, right? But the thing is like, there's no stuff. No women are disgusted turned on by two gay dudes

having sex no but they're not turned off and they're they are I know lots of girls but like not not that physiological

you think your chick would be like like that would turn that would be hot to me to see you make out with a guy not hot but not a physiological response

if your girlfriend like saw you banging a dude I think she would be like grossed out by that yeah obviously banging a dude if she has eyes if she has oh yeah I would too if i had a fucking mirror but it's more just like i don't think there's a physiological response the same as like based on this study

so anyway that's just a theory no i'm sure that's like a part of it yeah that's a part of why and it's also marketed like that like the orgy and the thing exactly that's what i'm saying all that it was like a graphic film. They tried to make what's like with the chicks. That was like the funny movie with the wedding whatever.

I can't remember. Bridesmaids. They took that formula and they go we're going to do Bridesmaids. Gay guys. Yeah, sure.

And you go I don't know if it really like there's like the I didn't see the movie so we're only talking about the promos with the box office yeah yeah so i just think that yeah so i think there's something to be said uh what

you were saying and my my theory is that like hollywood needs to decide whether the like they can't keep flip-flopping their marketing strategy of being like the first time this has ever been done and no one wants this but we're making it no one wants this thing because that's what they're saying like nobody wants us to make this gay movie and and you guys are probably not gonna see it like because you're yeah and you're like are you right yeah it's like either they're lying yeah or they don't believe it yeah so it's like there's like a hypocrisy in their own strategy if you truly thought that nobody wants to see this movie why are you making it exactly like other than a fuck you because they don't believe that what

they actually think is they're like hey if we pretend that like this movie's like fighting against some power obviously right that it's gonna help us right but the truth is that power that's fighting against is like the mainstream thought yeah and again yeah there's no lack of representation for gay people right now so no and honestly grossly over a million people pointed this out but there was like um you know brokeback mountain was huge there was gay movies that were huge like you know that it always makes me laugh wasn't in the trailer it just makes me laugh of course but also it's like that just makes me like the idea that they talk about this gay stuff we know a million comedians just went on

tour with jj it's like Tim Dillon's one of the Biggest comedians in the world Like You would never hear Like that kind of marketing Of being like Imagine being like Oh you don't like Tim Dillon

You're a homophobe Of course You know No one Like It's obvious that They're making up something That doesn't exist

Yeah Absolutely Like Brokeback Mountain You know how many people Probably went and saw the trailer And they go like Yeah it's just a bunch of dudes And their horses

I like that And they go And they let the controversy Speak for themselves I bet Brokeback Mountain Sort of slid it in there Being like You know how many people probably went and saw the trailer and go like, yeah, it's just a bunch of dudes and their horses. I like that. And they let the controversy speak for themselves. I bet Brokeback Mountain sort of slid it in there being like... And it was getting all these amazing reviews and also those... And again, that was like two huge movies. That actually was a first at the time.

Yeah. That was probably the majority of... It started out with straight people had a good run. And also it was just like you i think it's just crazy to be to try to be like there's some you know first here and then say this stuff that like you hear every day all day in every media publication of course i just can't tell it like how can you be so it's a crowded market that's the best way to describe it for sure the the like because there's a certain percentage of people that will like watch movies for like activist reasons there's a certain percentage of probably gay dudes they'll watch that because they actually think it'll be like

a good movie and there's certain people that maybe would like it but they won't watch it because they think that it's like it was so marketed not towards them right yeah but at the end of the day doing well in general there's a that percentage isn't that great and the market is so crowded for people trying to be like hey we're like representation absolutely and it's probably hard for them like you know i saw their ads on taxi cabs and i'm like i don't know if like a taxi crab cab driving around like harlem or fucking lebronx is like your demo for bros like yeah they couldn't decide whether no whether they did need to show it to certain people it's

almost it almost seems like someone that like wanted their movie to fail so then they could be like of course yeah well i don't know what kind of that's a weird ass win you go no yeah we lost 20 million dollars but made our point we're the good guys here yeah we're the good bros so i don't think that yeah i think that that i think that that's people that live in hollywood that in their mind the rest of the world is like legitimately like such. Everyone hates. I just don't get it. Because like is Hollywood like not doing that thing that they used to do where if you did bad, they fired you.

Not anymore. No, Judd Apatow's got enough goodwill. Yeah, he's got. Yeah, he's got unlimited goodwill. Yeah, he's got. He's gonna probably make seven more. But they also, you know, every day you turn on the thing and they go a new person's gay. Like they just did one.

They said they're making the Wizard of Oz and and they're adding some gay characters i thought they were all gay the lion definitely well it's definitely gay who do you think who do you think is gay the lion all of them it was sort of making me laugh the idea that the other characters are gay like it's the like when they make the wrong ones gay like they're making like the wizard who's a fraud gay you know what i mean like the wizard comes out and he goes, I'm a fraud. Also, I'm gay. Like I'm gay. It's like,

it doesn't even non sequitur. I mean, you know what I mean? Instead of making like some of the sweet characters gay, you make like the witch a lesbo. You know what I mean? You make them, you make the cranky lesbian.

Cause that's actually, you know, the cranky witch instead of on her broomstick, she's throwing up softballs. He's working in glove you know what i mean this is gonna be like she's got her softball on your broomstick all the flying monkeys are just gonna be white guys yeah flying white guys flying white men yeah full size too because they obviously can't be like little people yeah full size too because they obviously can't be like little people all the bad guys just flying six foot white men just the wizard's gonna be a

flying brock turners yeah totally the wizard is gonna be a jew i yeah it was making me laugh the idea of the the person that the they introducing all these like gay characters but only making it like ones they wouldn't want. What'd you want? You made three characters. Well, you're trying to beg and choose.

Yeah. It was not enough beggars and choosers over here. Um, probably one of the, uh, funniest things that I've seen that I've been like laughing at myself about. So basically the hill did this story, but so in the army, mental.

Yeah. You know what I'm talking about. But it's insane. It's fucking nuts. Good stuff, right? Yeah, but it's just crazy. So when people die, they can donate their body to science, right? And I've just donated my dick to science so they can study the greatness. You know what I mean?

Smallest dick ever. This was attached to a human man? What? They can study the greatness smallest dick ever this was attached to a human man they can they can what they can study its ability its abilities grab the telescope yeah so and then uh this man when he he donated his body and they kind of had some like shady dealings going on where the company that was getting all the bodies donated was selling some of the excess bodies donated and then he found out that they used his mother's body um to to as a ied blast test his grandmother so like they took a 90 year old woman's body and strapped it into like a chair a chair they had an ied beneath it and they go like honestly imagine the amount of people who were like that's probably like 20 people

Oh, you know all like downrange and they go. No one nobody's like are we doing? Yeah. Yeah Yeah, like was she like a military head like does she love the army that we're doing this? Are we sure this is okay? Oh, yeah, it's all good. We have everybody signed off on this is all good. Uh, who wants to blow this dumb bitch up? Yeah, I love the idea of the guy going to the office that day. He just wanted to see what was going to happen. Her arm lands in his hand. Dude, this is wild. It was really crazy.

How many people must have signed off on this and nobody was like... There's worse things, though. Imagine they go, we're using your grandmother's body. We're just trying to figure out what level of torture Gaddafi took. You're just doing the ass, just shoving stuff in your grandmother's body. We're just trying to figure out what level of torture Gaddafi took. You're just doing the ass, like, just shoving stuff in your grandma's ass. Well,

like, wasn't there, like, don't they have these ballistic dummies? Like, remember that, what's the show with the two dudes? I can't remember what it's called.

Rectal torture. Would you rather have rectal torture when you delivered your body or would you rather have IUD blow you up? I'm dead? You're dead. IUD. Yeah,

exactly, right? No, they're just, it'll be funny they're just doing like the grandma like what did you use my grandma's body for we're seeing when he kicks to the face a woman's before you do you have before you totally cave in the skull you can just like make a plaster skull or something oh it actually wasn't science but we here we do like to

do curb stomp fridays they have to see the dumpster behind this place trying out yeah just moves like that they got around arm bars and all this stuff just so what happened like they ever in the ring like a wrestling ring for the army wrestling ring and they're just tossing yeah they're all doing like people's help stunners does anybody want to do a tombstone on this brown yeah it's more it's a morale test what test what did you you did a test in the army yeah but it was a morale test just test how how many dead bodies we needed to get the morale up for them to stunner them i mean i guess it's technically counts as science but yeah so it's pretty fucking oh it's great stuff so i've got an even uh uh

better thing on the topic of army because well actually there's a small thing but apparently the army has been having like a real hard time recruiting lately and a lot of people have been doing the collages of like uh the army saying like you know numbers are 25 down and then the like right beside it being like free sex changes if you'll join the army like they basically said the free sex changes like that should get the numbers up yeah yeah yeah yeah that's that's uh that venn diagram full overlap well they've got that too but they got the billy eichner's fucking publicist that's what they got the same publicist for the army is the billy eichner publicist like hey america is the worst country in the world come defend it and we'll cut your dick off it's so crazy too because

you're like they're doing all this stuff for free when yeah but you're like they're like obviously desperate if this is what they're doing and then you're like just like raise the pay raise the pay is obvious right but the truth is though this this goes back to like ancient times though that there there's like a big known thing in like military uh theory and all that stuff was they used to just make like normal people would go to the army and they'd be forced to or they'd get like their crappy pay and it'd be like almost a crappy job and they realized if they could make it this sort of like high ceremony job that's why they have all the medals and yeah you know all that stuff is a big recruiting tool right of course you know they come back like the number

one hero they make you you get to be exactly right which is actually fair deal because the number one All that stuff is a big recruiting tool, right? Of course, of course. You know, they come back. You're a hero. They make you get to be a hero. Exactly, right? Which is actually fair deal because the number one way to get guys to do something is go, you know what? We're going to set it up in a way that girls think it's hot. Yeah, you get status. Yes.

Guaranteed status. Which really, it's like cut to the chase, is guaranteed sniz. Yeah. Like if you're in the army and you come back and you're decorated, maybe not if you live in downtown New York, but if you live in the right place, you're going to go to the bar

and you're going to get some snatch. Absolutely. So you legitimately, you're giving a guy an extra $20,000 a year in girls that are going to think that's cool. Is that why stolen valor

is such an issue? Because it's stolen sniz? Mm-hmm. Is that why the real issue we don't care about you fucking larping as us you're taking our pussy right bro i got my fucking leg blown off and yeah and you're just walking around and you're walking around with my goddamn women so this leads me to my next point jj lieberman friend of the podcast. So this weekend, he has this meet. So there's these guys called Wounded Warriors.

And they actually came to our show where you were at as well in Minneapolis. Yeah, that's where we met them all. So we met them. I did their show. So you did it with J.J.? Yeah, with J.J. So they were trying to do something. I didn't end up being able to do it.

But J.J.'s been doing these shows for all these people in the army. And the guy's super cool. And he was like, a lot of these guys have crazy stories where the one guy was, they're like machine gunners. Of course. Where he came back and you go, this guy killed like 150 people

with a fucking... Yeah, like a gun? I was going to say a trigger that like... Oh yeah, like autumn. Yeah, whatever. I don't even know if that's true. But crazy stuff where they come back and their mind's all messed up.

Or worse, you've lost your legs and all that shit. Of course. These guys do all this stuff I know that's true, but crazy stuff where they come back and their mind's all messed up or worse. You've lost your legs and all that shit. So these guys do all this stuff, and obviously there's nothing that would heal them more than having J.J. Lieberman come and do comedy for them. Tell them you're going to fuck their ass. Yeah, J.J.'s stand-up is the only thing that could heal them, right? He goes, I'm going to fuck your ass. Apparently they like it. I'm not trying to fuck up his gig here.

No, no, J.J.'s the to fuck up his gig here. No, no. It's the best. Yeah. No, the show went great, too. Okay, so you did one. But, so the reason I'm bringing this up is JJ got some- Some swag. Some swag.

Oh, I was wondering if that counts as stolen dollars. And this motherfucker has been walking around in his Wounded Warriors shirt. He got three free things on our last thing. So we go to the coffee shop But we're in between towns So we're kind of like small town Gas stations I go to pay for my thing

He goes gets the coffee The lady goes on the house sir Oh JJ needs to fucking chill on that But what is he supposed to do She didn't say specifically He goes That is the best thing ever He said he's gotten like five free things dude i went with wearing the shirt but it is it's stolen now but technically they go

he never said he's in the army he goes i do work with this organization right so maybe they're just the fact that you work with the organization because dude but i've been my boy my boy who you know who was like uh the he was in the army like Secret Service guy or whatever We went to the Ripper's when he was here. He get a stolen lap dance. No, no a few years ago Whatever and it's like, you know sapphire. It's like $25 cover charge and there was like four of us and we go I'm in for free. He was all they Hands him his ID they look at it. They go. Oh you guys all you're on with I'll come in for free And they're all like thank you for your service blah blah blah and like they let us all in for free

Really? Yeah for being in the Secret Service? No, well, he's in the Army. He had his Army ID. His Army. Yeah, yeah. But it was just like Army ID and they go, because I think maybe some of them

are, I don't know, but they go like, or maybe they have a policy like, free tuggies for the Army or whatever. You know what I'm saying? They send them over the special girl

that's willing to do the extras. Yeah. Well, they do get some. The moral of the story is you do actually get some perks. I mean, you're defending the goddamn country. No, but I'm just saying,

like, I've heard of these kind of things. Yeah, yeah. Like, I know certain places it's, you know, you get to be a Walmart greeter or something, right? Yeah.

But I didn't realize the extent to which you're kind of, like, getting free stuff all day long. Yeah. That's pretty... Not so bad. Yeah.

What happens if you're a cop but also you were ex-military, but like, cause they kind of hate the cops. No, they don't hate the cops over there. Not right. Not over there. Yeah. I wonder if New York that works.

I had my big video this week as anti-cop actually. Oh dude, that was so funny, man. That guy where he's like. They tried to give it, they gave us, and I just wanted to clear the reason I brought it up actually. Cause I wanted to clear something up because everyone in the comments and my comment thing wasn't working on my phone for some reason.

On YouTube, the app was glitching. No, the app was glitching. But everyone was saying I should have paid the guy's ticket. And I sort of agree with that. But the guy said, he goes, I get these all the time. I never pay them.

And he ripped it up and threw it in the garbage. I just didn't include that in the video. Gotcha. So I'm not going to put the things together and then give him some money. Yeah, yeah. But I think they're right. I maybe should have paid for it.

So you can't smoke in Union Square? Insane. Yeah. But I think they are they're right. I maybe should have paid for it. So you can't smoke in Union Square? Insane. What are you doing? I was smoking in two cops giving him a $300 ticket. Go walk into Union Square right now we're by there.

It's like there'll just be 500 people smoking. No it's ridiculous. So they just picked him? People are smoking weed which is legal now. Yeah. Canopy's back.

I guarantee you they are not giving non-white people they don't have the nerve for that right now. Like imagine the PR thing if you go like walk up on some like black guy I guarantee you they are not giving non-white people. They don't have the nerve for that right now. Not a chance. Imagine the PR thing. Dude, there's no chance.

If you go walk up on some black guy and you'd be like, here's a fucking ticket for smoking a cigarette with all the Eric Garner and all that shit. There's no way. No. That was crazy. It was very like, what are you doing now? Dude, I watched that video and go like, oh, this guy must have a warrant. No.

And they ran his name. We were doing an interview. I know. And to be honest, at the time, none of me was thinking this is crazy because like at the i was so in like trying to make something funny that when the cops came over i was more like oh sweet like yeah i wasn't even crossing my mind i just love like bothering people in positions of authority that are trying to do their job yeah especially like there's nothing that makes me laugh more than the idea of like listen pal i'm trying to do my job here you try to do their job. Yeah. Especially like, there's nothing that makes me laugh more than the idea of like, listen,

pal, I'm trying to do my job here. You try and do your job. Next time you're going to be a police auditor. Yeah. Yeah. That's what you're saying. There's audits where people are going, yeah, I'm fucking, yeah, try me fucking pig. And they're like, whoa, dude.

Wow. And they go, get out of the way. I'm on the sidewalk, piece of shit. But it did like like after I left, I kind of had like a moment of thinking about it and I was kind of like, I mean, that was insane.

That's crazy. Police are fucking. Yeah, what are you doing? I think they're trying to get their rep back as being like pieces of shit,

cops. Yeah, it was fading a little bit. I guess, I don't know. I had a ticket for smoking. By the way, we were sitting on a bench

doing an interview. It's not like we were doing anything crazy either Yeah It's like what you can't smoke in a park That's a real wild Fuck out of here Defund

Defund So Kanye West is probably The funniest guy on the internet This week He's having a Good time And I've been saying forever that the funniest guy on the internet this week. Yeah, he is. He's having a good time. And I've been saying forever that losing wild black dudes

was going to be the death of the cultural influence of these people because, you know what I mean, the movements became so feminine. No one changes culture more than black guys. That's just like, I don't even think that's debatable. Yeah.

You know what I mean? It's like black dudes have a huge... I mean, mean by default they are the trendsetters so they have to yeah and obviously it's not the same everywhere and no you know obviously white guys blah blah it's not like across the board but that that is a big influential part of culture and when you like started turning the the like fucking liberal progressive bullshit against them that was i could tell that that was going to be the peak yeah which i've uh said um but the thing that was making me and i always like anyone that's fighting the system a little bit like the charlie charlie sheen energy even when they're totally even when they're losing their mind a little bit the crazy thing is everybody's still texting him

and he's like you know that your text is going on instagram in five minutes stop texting him totally or like there's like is there does does iPhones not have like a disappear mode or something? I don't know. Like. Put him in vanish. Yeah, vanish mode or something. You're right though.

What are you doing texting Kanye West? You know you're getting posted. The last 20 people who texted him wound up on Instagram. Why are you texting him? What are you doing? Though you know, you know, unless they all do know and they're posting,

they're basically posting for the gram. Maybe. That's possible. But the thing that made me laugh was just no one knows what to do with it and it's all it just keeps popping up and he won't shut up and blah blah blah and there's people like sean king we're posting like you know this guy just wants attention this and that and it was just making me laugh the idea of like this is why he is like in some ways playing like a funny game because they go this guy just wants attention but yet you can't not give it to him yeah like we're talking about him but i don't give a shit yeah i don't give a shit

i like kanye west yeah it was almost like i had even a uh because they were they're all saying this they're like the only reason he's doing this is to get attention because they that's the best thing for them to say and he's like literally one of the masters of getting everybody to talk and you're still doing it he's even saying like yeah i'm doing this. I'm doing this to make my clothing line bigger. I have the White Lives Matter shirt. And then they all post it and they're like, he's just doing this for attention.

He goes, thank you. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. But it kind of reminded me of like, when I was thinking of- Remember when he said he was bankrupt? And then they're like, but then he also,

everybody was like, oh, that's crazy. He had this like, dominated the news cycle. And then it was like, yeah, he had an album come out a week later. Right. It's all just like- It's always that. album come out a week later. It's all just like. It's always that.

Yeah, yeah, of course. It's always something to sell. But I was thinking in terms of like conservatives and liberals when I was watching him on Tucker Carlson. I was saying that like. I did not see that. Was he crazy on there? Yeah, I had some. I feel like there was a pretty funny part of it.

But the first part, there's the thing I was thinking was like a good way to describe it is like if you're not invested conservatives a lot often can be like an eye roll i think a lot of times you know what i mean like some of the stuff is like an eye roll and then liberals are more like a mosquito like they're you know what i mean yeah so they're more like something that you're like well okay like like a dad that's being corny like a you know what i mean yeah a dad that's trying tony, you know what I mean? Yeah. A dad that's trying to skateboard, that's the kind of energy sometimes. Yeah. And then liberals is more like a mosquito that's buzzing around your room and you're trying to get rid of it.

But I think the thing is, once you can put a piece of glass up and then you see the mosquito and it's just hitting the wall, now it's funny. Right. And I think to some reason, a lot of people have figured out how to just be on the other side of the glass of the mosquito and just kind of laugh at it for sure yeah i mean they are kind of parrot a lot of that stuff you see them you're like you're almost a parody of yourself totally a parody yeah what did he say on tucker okay so it's the funny part was so he does the white light matter shirt which is like you know 2016 4chan right of course so he's doing all and then he goes on

with Candace Owens I didn't know they hung out I didn't know he had a thing with her before they were talking right but he basically all of it was stuff that you've heard before kind of thing nothing too crazy but this the part that I've thought was so funny was he's talking to Tucker Carlson he's like you know there how did you get the idea to do this way like you know and then Kanye West goes he's like you know that's the thing like you know as an artist as a creator like sometimes i just know that something is the right idea for the right time and i just my energy like comes from god and this is why he's saying it was just like yeah i mean it was on 4chan four years ago. It was like, he's literally the equivalent.

He's just doing 4chan stuff from five years ago and saying, just it came to me from God, this genius idea I had. And he was like, yeah, you're trolling people, but you didn't invent that. Everyone's been doing that for four years. He's going to come out with an Islam's Right About Women shirt and just be like, it's okay to be white. It's okay to be white. It's okay to be white.

He's going to, he's just going to be like his new line of like frog keck shirts and stuff like that. And it was just the idea that he was this, you know, it's obviously like a, a funny marketing place and you're in the position where you can get away with it. I guess to some degree you're a somewhat untouchable and you're a billionaire. You know what I mean? Yeah. And you're not white.

Very white. All of the things that you're not white. Very white. All of the things that you've got to pull it off, but just to be like straight up doing like 2018 or whatever, 4chan stuff. And then talking like about your process was making me laugh. You know, he's going to be, he's going to come out tomorrow and he's going to have like this genius idea to troll Shia LaBeouf, you know what I mean? Just like straight up like up all OG internet stuff.

I came up with this word, social justice warrior and cock, and I just think that he's going to do a cameo. I know what he's going to do probably next album. He's going to have James Damore as a cameo, and he's going to be like, you know, I just... The way that he was touting how much of a genius he was for doing like what every like edgy streamer does. He's going to start sampling podcasts.

She was more talking about. Yeah. Talking about differences between men and women. Yeah. He's gone. He's just saying everyone's. He's one step away from like saying talking about like the number of jews countries jews were kicked out of course yeah he's getting he's getting real close because he was

doing all the blacks or the new jews npc stuff but it was like i guess he's a good if anything he's like a good at like rounding up all the kind of cultural stuff that's popping on the internet and kind of bringing it like bringing it to the forefront but that you didn't like none not one of these things like you didn't that was a joke on the internet for four years i wonder if he tested it out with an all lives matter shirt and he goes nah let's go white yeah like he goes it doesn't quite say what i want this to say i want white lives matter like if you wanted to expand on it he would have said some version of, yeah, go with like Indian lives matter. Even that's not funny.

Or I take it back. But my point is, I guess he says he goes, my kids, it's a guy sample. It's a, it's a guy doing like a, a cover of a song and then talking about his genius.

Of course. Yeah, it was a cover. That's the perfect way to play. It's a band like doing their cover of smooth criminal alien, and then coming up and talking about their songwriting process. That's what it seemed like to me, which that was making me laugh. Yeah, he's on one.

He's on one. Definitely. I wonder if there's any repercussions. I don't think so, because he doesn't have anything really to take away. Does he sell less tickets? No, he sells more tickets. Yeah, so. He sells more tickets.

Nice move, Kanye. Yeah, his business is doing well. He'd stop doing all this stuff, right? Because at the end of the day, he probably more tickets. Yeah, so. He sells more tickets. Nice move, Kanye. Yeah, his business is doing well. He'd stop doing all this stuff, right? Because at the end of the day, he probably cares the most about making money. He does care about making money, yeah. I mean, I bought mine. Yeah. Did you buy it from him?

No, you made it. No, I made it. For your sketch, yeah. Anyways. It'd probably be like $250 if he sold it. He doesn't sell them, I looked, but. He doesn't sell them? No, but they'd be like hundreds of dollars.

That'd be a tough one. You think there's gonna be like the people wearing them the what like do you think you will start seeing people wearing them we're just like i can't imagine that pops off like that no so i can't imagine he's selling a lot of those he did say he was like some of his things he you know he tweets like a madman or his instagram stories right but they go he was like i'm the goes, just so you know, Fashion Week happened last week, but you wouldn't know that because my shirt's the only thing that mattered. I mean, kind of. But you're like, yeah, for sure.

He did over, yeah. I mean, if a presenter went onto the Grammys and just said the N-word 40 times, that'd probably be the talk of the town, too. You know what I mean? Which is, no, I'm not even saying it's like, I'm against his trolls or whatever. It's just, he's giving himself a little too much credit.

For sure. And he will not ever give up that they're trolls. Yeah. You go funny bit. Like, you know what I mean? For sure. But he's like, what do you mean bit? Yeah.

What bit? I think he does. I'm a genius. I think he said it was funny at one point. Oh really? He was kind of going back and forth of what's funny and not funny. I don't know. But anyways, yeah, that, that was making me laugh the most.

And then let's just do a little longer since we went out, came out on the wrong day today. Yeah. And we got ads and stuff. But I think you sent me this, the D-bag tax. The D-bag tax.

The D-bag tax. I didn't say the D-bag tax. So New York women are charging men up to $3,000 for failed relationships and bad dates. That's mental. Well, it's just funny the way that it's presented, right? Because it's the one girl that comes out

and she was like, you know, she had countless people cancel on her. So she sent a man a $50 deposit if he wanted to go on a date with her again, right? So that was just like nothing, right? But the thing is like him being like, okay, that's a red flag. Of course.

Like you go, okay, I'll send you $50 deposit on our date. Or this is him like thinking it's a joke. of course like you go okay i'll send you 50 deposit on our date or this is him like thinking it's a joke like ha ha ha i could see myself being like girl being like well you canceled last time like send me 50 bucks i mean like sure what's your event like i can see myself like that being like a jokey thing to the point of sending the 50 yeah i'd do something like that yeah but to me that'd be like like banter almost right right, right, right. Like you're, to me the sending the 50 bucks would be like, that's how far I'll take a bit. Sure, sure, yeah, yeah. Gotcha.

Gotcha. Here's 50 bucks. I could see myself if I was really trying Would you go full, full bore on the bit and then after the day he goes, anyway, so send, I showed up,

send the 50 back. You're gonna want the 50 back. She goes, no, what? Right. You get the first round since you got the 50. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, yeah right first 50s on her like the waiter goes oh i'd give her the tax if she didn't bone you know what i mean just the tax but then

so this other girl what she says this is the part that for me was hilarious she goes for me it was just a way to say you're a d-bag and here's the monetary value of my time you've wasted this 38 year old told the post i'd give her a fucking 38 year old tax if you ask me dude duke said she sent around six venmo requests ranging from 1500 to 3000 depending how does it start at 1500 well when you find did you read what the things are for over the years of men she's dated. She's listed as secret. She goes, these are some of the things that she got men to send her a D bag task for infidelity, secret marriages,

or having money. So you went out with a guy, found out he's married and then blackmailed him. You're extorting him. This cute thing I've done when a guy was a dick. I know the D bag. Yeah. You found out the guy had a wife and you said 3000 bucks or I tell. He's not a cute, like you blackmailed a guy was a dick. I know, the D-bag tax. Yeah, you found out the guy had a wife and you said, $3,000 or I tell.

This is not a cute, like, you blackmailed a guy. By the way, that is actual blackmail that you could go to jail for. For sure. And she's publishing it. No, no, no, I called it the D-bag tax. No level that some women don't have to have accountability. It's like, yo, you're admitting to a crime right now. You blackmailed a guy multiple multiple men

yeah duke says the venmo requests have been cathartic they're a little yeah yeah yeah she goes all that new shit i bought very cathartic about a louis vuitton handbag catharsis banging a married guy and then fucking getting him to pay me three thousand to keep my yap shut was cathartic experience. You fucking psycho. Too much. Then she's submitted to men who have offended her in various ways. I also think fucking getting a bunch of money is, I also think it's cathartic if you guys go

to RyanLongStore.com and buy a t-shirt that'll be cathartic for me. Actual catharsis. One man had promised to help her with rent and required a not soso-subtle reminder, so she went out with a guy, and then I was like, yeah, I'll pay your rent if you keep your mouth shut.

And then he goes, then the month came, and he hadn't sent her the money for rent, and he had to call him and say... Do we know if she's just an escort? I don't think so. She's talking about going on dating apps. Yeah.

Just this guy said he would pay her rent if you keep your mouth shut about the wife. And then she says, well, yeah, but just, you're going to get a not- your mouth shut about the wife and then she says well yeah but just you're gonna get a not so subtle how is she finding out all this stuff though she's doing like real she did like obviously he's maybe yeah who knows what it is maybe the guy told her but another abandoned her on a weekend getaway also this girl stinks so bad yeah like she's not fun another abandoned her on a weekend getaway you how much you have to suck for to go away with a girl for the guy to just completely dip? Straight up ghost you mid-vacation.

But in her mind, she goes, well, good thing I got that deposit. Good thing I got the tax. Well, that's the thing is, obviously, the girl is so crappy that she wants money and you go, I'll give you $500, but lose my number. Make it $1,000.

Just never talk to me ever again. You know what I mean? She does have a nice little racket though Just being like Totally Present yourself as like a psycho bitch Find out stuff about the guy Be a nightmare And then charge him to leave her alone

She's probably like planting drugs on them and stuff Of course You know what I mean This is a literal psychopath That you're just like What does it cost for me to never see you again And then A third dude ghosted her And then resurfaced a month later literal psychopath that you're just like what does it cost for me to never see you again and then a third dude

ghosted her and then resurfaced a month later married to another woman so that'll cost you yeah ooh ka-ching

ka-ching ka-ching that ain't gonna be true just found out you have a kid ka-ching yeah just these dollars

congratulations also ka-ching yeah exactly about half the time the suitors have paid up. Duke has been surprised by the success. It's not that surprising that married guys are paying you to fucking shut you up. It's like a mobster being like, I can't believe how successful I am selling protection. It's like, I just threatened to burn down your business.

And if I don't, they pay me $500 a month. Literally exactly like that. For several months. And then he stopped communicating with her and he sent another woman's nude photos by accident so again blackmail she goes and why i won't tell i mean you know who really doesn't like to you know who keeps his mouth shut george washington with those wooden teeth yeah exactly as for sarah she never went on a second date with the man who paid the deposit But no matter

She came out ahead Because she got 50 bucks Because the other guy Just hated you And fucking didn't ask For his money back Or he's like wait So I have to pay you again

For the second date No no no The day was The deposit was Because he cancelled once Right right But probably she goes He goes like

Ah I'd love to see you again And she goes She gets like her calculator Yeah yeah yeah Yeah we could probably Get you into a second date For probably like 550 What do you probably get you into a second date for probably like 550 what do you get me into a second date i'd love to see you into a dinner

movie situation the salesman yeah you look tired i'd love to you know i'd love to see you maybe on a long walk at the beach like that i'd love to love to see you kind of do a dinner afterwards you think that works for you you think you can afford that i'd love to see you kind of do a dinner afterwards. What do you say? Love to see you. You think that works for you? You think you can afford that? Love to see you potentially coming back to my place after, but we're going to have to talk financials here. So you're an escort? No. What?

No. What? That's going to cost you. That comment is not going to go free. Guy didn't even care to get his 50 bucks back. Yeah, he doesn't. Oh, fuck. Anyways, the D-bag tax is the nerve of some people is straight up extortion imagine a guy like i mean you hear about that sometimes where guys like yeah i like

went on some date with some chick and then like he's like surely dick me around didn't want to be there so i like venmo requested her for one of the drinks that i bought and then he's like villain on the internet for life sure yeah villain forever he goes can you send me ten dollars girls extorting guys for three grand after a couple days writing articles about it and she's like yeah writing art that's a crazy part of being like and i'd like to write an article to advance fucking give a fat tax that's what i'm gonna do good luck man you go yeah i'll be 50 you touched their belly you didn't put that in the photos Did you there sister Yeah I brought a I brought a scale

I brought a scale You have like one of those Everything over Your bag Your little bag Yeah everything over The registered weights An extra two bucks

That's not gonna be cheap And you broke the scale You broke the scale That's a good scale Okay Alright Hope to see some of you guys At the shows coming up

Go buy my merch Go follow my YouTube channel. I have track pants even too. Really? Dude, I have two sweaters. Track pants, a t-shirt, a crew neck, a whole bunch of shit. Do you have track pants with like the dick print already on them? Yeah, yeah.

It's just like the shadow. The track pants are sick, dude. I'm telling you, you're going to like the track pants. I have a good track pants. These ones are awesome. Nice. They save a fella's like, they're sick. Sick.

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