The Boyscast with Ryan Long - Bathing Luka Magnotta with JJ Liberman

Episode Date: December 25, 2020

JJ gave luka magnota a bath, and was an umpire, male stripper, comedian, and poker player patreon.com/theboyscast  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And you can tell our friends, and they can have my things when we're dead. But we don't end forever. But we don't end forever. Welcome to the BoyzCast. Special edition. I'm set up here in Toronto. Did a three-day rip. Three-day party rip. I did podcasts, hung out with all the comedians, hung out with the boys from my hometown. Got together. podcast hung out with all the comedians hung out with the boys from my hometown got together well i'll tell you the one thing that i will say was the story across the board with everyone dealing

with covid every guy i know is like yeah i don't really give a shit but my girl's kind of whack about it everyone i talked to was like yeah she used to be really crazy now i've sort of got my girl not caring as much but like yeah i never really cared basically dudes cares girls dudes don't care girls care for people in my family like that i'm just like the amount of people i talked to and that's what that's what the general consensus was on top of that the covid situation in the airports and stuff was obviously a nightmare but like whatever i'm not gonna go too far into the airport turmoil but what i will say is i had to get a license because i lost my license which has been a huge nightmare i go to because they're like we can had to get a license because I lost my license, which has been a huge nightmare.

I go to – because they're like, we can't send you a license because of COVID and our offices aren't working as good. So I go down to the thing, and the government building is in this huge mall. And what they've decided is because they're like, oh, we can't distance people good enough inside this huge mall that's fairly empty. They've decided that they made this huge lineup of 80 people outside. It's snowing. It's December. It's freezing cold.

And we lined up there for an hour and a half. I go, this is your solution? Beside me is like this 90-year-old Indian lady and she's just like sitting there chilled out. And you go, government can't do anything. They are a mess. But anyways, I hung out with all the boys. We got J.J. Lieberman this episode.

He's one of the craziest people. I went in, I hung out with them for a bit. Me and some of the boys watched the Kevin Hart special. Pretty funny. Kevin Hart's comedy is essentially just always compounding zany stories just they're just the wackiest shit back to back that happened to him I'm walking through my house I step on a bucket so now I got bucket foot I'm going down the stairs with the bucket foot now my drawers they can't keep falling down so I got drooping drawers I got a bucket foot snake falls on my

head now I got snake head my wife's in the thing she's feeling horny I got a horny wife so the horny wife's trying to have sex with me but I can't even get in the room because I got the bucket foot snake falls on my head now i got snake head my wife's in the thing she's feeling horny i got a horny wife so the horny wife's trying to have sex with me but i can't even get in the room because i got the bucket foot snake on my head i got droopy joys compounding scenarios wacky but without further ado jj's one of the most interesting people in the world you're going to want to check out his comedy and good to get together haven't seen these guys in like over a year because i haven't been back because of covid now i'm heading back to new york got a sick video coming out next week and without further ado this is the man the legend jason lieberman the boys cast with jj lieberman the return the return this is the first time this is no this is my return to canada oh

put the mic on your mouth this is what we're. No, this is my return to Canada. Oh. Put the mic on your mouth. This is what we're going to be dealing with? Literally, like, right here. Yeah. You're going to want it there. That's my biggest pet peeve about comedy, and thank God for COVID, is fucking comedians who would, like, rest. I'm a big rester, yeah. Ugh.

It's gross. Ernie has a fucking scar here Because it dries up Have you ever seen that? No Oh it's disgusting But yeah Anyways I'm back in Toronto Canada

I got at the airport There's the guy And him and his girlfriend both had the mask on And then the shield over top Unnecessary So him and his girlfriend both Like you know, this guy 100% gets pegged.

Yeah, he didn't choose to wear the fucking shield. No. So what happened was, I was in the airport, and I took my mask off to eat. And then when I stopped eating, I didn't put it on for two seconds. He comes across the airport, not kidding,

like 50 meters, across the whole airport, walks, and he goes, mask! Mask! Come on! Put it on for two seconds he comes across the airport not kidding like 50 meters across the whole airport walks and he goes mask mask come on put it on i go oh sorry and he goes yeah have some respect like he flipped out on me you think that was i was like i was ready to make a scene like you know one of those you know when you get road rage where you just go like it like infuriated me i was like i want to fight this guy like punch him in his mask you think that was his decision or that was like the woman no i think it's he's the bitch like i think the girl the girl was walking around it felt like portlandia you know what i mean where people are where the girl's like i guess i'm into hiking now too like this guy was like i guess the girl was like i guess we're a mass couple the guy was like a bitch you just want to that's the thing i want to drop

the buckets and gloves that's why i got the hockey jersey on right now. Just fucking pull the front of the glass down. Yeah, it was, dude, it was insane. Yeah, that was in New York though. That was the airport in the New York before I got here. New York or Newark? That was in New York, Newark airport. So I'll finish, I'll, yeah, basically coming here was a nightmare and we'll, I want to get to the other stuff,

but this is, I booked my flight. Then they changed my flight. Then they changed it again. Then when I got to the airport, they're like, we can't get you on that flight, but we can get you a flight at a different airport.

Took a hundred dollar Uber to get to Newark. Then last night. Yes. It was a 10 hour debacle to get to Canada. Insane. They do not want you in Toronto right now. You think that's a thing right now? They're not letting in anyone except Canadians.

Yeah, I think so. Yeah, you got to have a pretty good, you got to have like a note or something if you're not Canadian. So even when you, because you can get, because you can fly here, but right when you get to customs. Yeah, I think they would,

I think you have to do this app. You got to prove you're a citizen. I think if you're just like a normal American, you're like, I'm going to come to Canada right now. They're like, get fucked, bud. I met a kid who does the, you know, the skip to the dishes commercial, like the food app. Him and, what's the guy, Madman, John. John Hamm. So they do.

Big package on that guy. Really? You see him? There's a lot of. So he's one of the main people that every tabloid finds pictures of him with his track pants so he's got a big imprint that'd be nice really yeah yeah you would love that he's too old but that so he he was shooting some skip the dishes commercials so they let him in but they only let him in if you're famous you're famous, they'll let you in. But if you're like a normal person, rules for thee and not for me.

These famous people. Okay, let me do an intro here. So this is what, I'd say the best way to describe JJ is kind of like, also kind of like our crews, like Joey Diaz, just a savage. But he's still in Toronto. And okay, tell me, this is what were the things we're going to go through.

In this episode, we have a whole bunch of stuff. But the biggest thing was that JJ literally dated and did stuff with Luca Magnata, the serial killer. Not dated. Okay, we'll get into it. Okay. Okay, so first you were a male stripper. Okay, professional baseball player, then professional umpire. Then you switched to gay male stripper.

So I was, okay. This was the, do you want the lineage of everything? Yeah. Well, let's just list them off and then we'll get into it. Because some of the things are like accurate, but not accurate. Gay male stripper. Gay male stripper. A hundred percent. Then gay comedian, then gay poker player. Straight comedian to gay comedian. Back to straight. Right. Straight comedian, back to gay comedian back to straight right straight comedian back to gay comedian now straight with a girlfriend but in the closet yes you went back in the closet

I'm back in I'm totally back in the closet which that has to be the title of your new album back in the closet well I think but I'm not back in the closet because I still like

when I beat off on Reddit I'm still looking at the array of what I love yeah you like a little of this little of that oh a lot of this a lot of that like there's more than just, a lot of this, a lot of that. There's more than just a little.

Yeah, this guy's got like an insane story. And JJ, the way that you kind of say stuff is you're one of those guys that, you know, when people describe stuff well, they'll be like, yeah, I went to the, you know, inventful day, like went to the store, you know, watched the game, killed a guy, then I went home and ate. You go, whoa, whoa, what was that last part?

That's where you're like, i fucking went to comedy and then i uh i also dated this uh luca mcnaught a serial killer and then i do this you go what was that last part you're like the cereal the fucking dinner yeah what'd you say oh two pizzas so so the main goal in life when i was like pre-comedy there was a a few pre's, but before stand-up comedy, my whole dream was to play baseball. So I went to college to play college baseball in the States. Right. And then I went for a tryout in...

But you were a gay baseball player in the closet. In the closet. Dude, the whole time I was sucking dick on the DL. And you were sort of... You know when they talk about sports, they're like,

oh, I wouldn't want a gay guy in the change room because he'll be like looking at my dick and everyone's like you're being crazy totally totally fucking pecker checking but what people don't understand it's the people that you're not into that generally fucking give a shit like if i like right like fat redneck who who's got a fucking gross looking cock. Like, that kind of thing. And that's the one who's probably the most uncomfortable about someone like me fucking cock gazing. Yeah, and you're like, listen, buddy, my eyes have no gaze for you. Oh, yeah, I'm looking at the fucking Dominican.

He don't even fucking know, man. But yeah, so. Okay, so that's what it started with. In the closet baseball player. But yeah, so. Okay, so that's what it started with, in the closet baseball player. Trying to play baseball. I never really made it, but I got into independent baseball, but I was injured. So yeah, so I did that. And then I wanted to basically continue playing baseball, trying to be involved in baseball.

So I went to umpire school, got into umpire school, and then worked in independent, like it's non-affiliated, but it's still professional baseball. That was going to be because we wanted you to do a musical about like all the gay stuff. Gay umpire. Yeah, the gay umpire is like, I sucked two balls. But that's the show I wanted to do. When I wanted to write a show, that was a show about an umpire.

The gay umpire. The gay umpire. The gay umpire. But like Kenny Powers. But like that kind of thing. Like literally just fucking baseball players. But to me, I think the most interesting thing. Okay, we'll go in line. I thought you were going to say me too.

Like you could get me too to umpire. Like I won't call strike if you let me see your cock. Yeah. Like that. Like the umpire that's cheating he'll be like uh kind of like an nfl empire that's like you know rigging the game the referee yeah the basketball is a fucking load of semen exactly like i'm not trying to fucking fix the game or point spread i'm trying to get dick but before okay so before we go into those things i want want to talk about the Luca Magnata thing,

like from, so for those people who don't know, Luca Magnata was like one of the biggest Canadian serial killers of all time. Second to what,

Paul Bernardo? I think, okay, so I don't know if he was a serial killer as much as like probably the most, because he only killed

the one guy. What's the movie called, the Netflix show? Something Cats. Yeah. Something about killing cats. Yeah. Where he would kill

he's the serial killer when it kills cats but i i think he only killed the one person but notorious is like a fair way to he's got a netflix he he popped off like he got a netflix special he got he got a fucking netflix special so he done well yeah so yeah so you want to know that like yeah so okay so his story is he was killing all these cats, and then he was this male prostitute, and then he basically cut off the arms of a guy and then mailed them to the prime minister. He severed the dude's body.

Yeah. Like he cut off arms, legs, and head, and I think he sent them to both parties too. Like kind of like a bi, what's that? He wasn't a partisan serial killer. No, bipartisan, bipartisan move. A very bipartisan move.

And then he fucked the corpse and they uploaded the video on gore.com. Right. And that was my boy. Yeah. Those were the good old days, man,

when you could just send it to a liberal, you send it to a Republican. Nobody cared. But, but yeah, so, but I knew him before

he went like insane. Okay, so what was he, yeah, so – but I knew him before he went like insane. Okay. So what was he – yeah, tell me the origin story of how you met. So this was – I mean this was roughly around 2005. I'm pretty – not roughly. I'm pretty certain it was like the fall of 2005. And I went to this gay club, still in the closet closet but I would still like fucking sneak and geek and go

you know I would go out but I would like not be public about it right sneaking and geeking sneaking and geeking on gay.com on gay.

Yeah gay.com was a thing. Yeah there's legitimately a website called gay.com Yeah there was it was literally the place before it was the first

I think meet up online place for guys yeah like it is funny because you'd be like where are you fucking oh you're probably on gay.com and you're like actually i am on gay.com totally on gay.com and on gay.com wasn't it that you basically you send a voice clip wasn't that it no that was uh uh Manzone. I think it was Manzone. It's the phone. Like the phone, dude. Right. And that was the same.

It's such a fucking topical thing. Well, not topical now, topical then. Because that was the same time when I met Luca, but not through the phone. So you met him on Gay.com? You met him on the Gay.com circuit? No, I actually met him old school, face to face. I was at this place called Woody's. You know, it's like...

I know Woody's. It's very, like, famous. Yeah, it's like the ultimate, like, gay club name. Whenever I'm doing, like, a gay club name in, like, a bit or something... It's Woody's. I go Woody's or Empty Closets, another one that I go with a lot. And then what was the other one? What's the third gay club that in Toronto?

There's so, dude, there's so many. Remington's. Remington's Man of Steel is a strip club. So if anyone's interested in, oh, I guess COVID shut it down. But when it comes back, if you're looking to blow a dude. Man of Steel.

But yeah, so we're at Woody's. Yeah. Kind of, yeah, so we're at Woody's, and I just see this guy. And at the time – like, if you see the video of him, like, from the special, he looks, like, really effeminate. Yeah. He's, like, kind of like – Oh, he's, like, your typical twink. Yes, exactly.

And he's, like, sassy, like the type of gay dude that would be annoying. Yeah, totally stereotype. But then he wasn't. He was like wearing like, he was like a Gino, like wearing the Kappa track square, dude. He's wearing like this Kappa. He had this like cross out. And I'm like, you want to fucking suck a dick or not? He wasn't that aggressive.

But when you know, that's the old school Italian. The Ginos are a little softer. Yes. But he was like a Gino. He was like that aggressive. Now that's the old school Italian. The Gino's are a little softer. Yes, but he was like a Gino. He was like a Euro. He was like, kind of like, he had that kind of, you would think he was European, but he's lived here his whole life. But he was like born in. Very skinny, loved soccer. Loved soccer.

Like he was born in Bosnia or something and lives here. Now he's basically fucking Perez Hilton, like in his later days. Like, he was born in Bosnia or something and lives here. Because now he's basically fucking Perez Hilton, like, in his later days. Yes. Like, totally. Like, even to the point, now, full disclosure, because I know this is the internet and people are going to make comments. So I put powder in my hair to make it thick. It's not a powder. It's a fiber.

But you have to. Like, dude, this is. He just puts it in to cover the lice. Yeah. Nothing to do with it. Oh, I'm not even man puts it in to cover the lice. Yeah. Nothing to do with it. Oh, I'm not even balding. I just have terrible lice. Yeah.

But yeah, so I put but he had he went like full after I met him full like make like he had like face surgery and shit like that. Yeah. He tried to look like a fucking mannequin. Dude, that's like that's literally the best way to describe it. You don't look real. You look like an avatar or like a character, a cartoon of a human. So you met him at the gay club. I met him at the gay club waiting for, he was turning tricks then. So he was a male prostitute. Oh, dude. Sucking dick for dollars. Totally. I don't know if they talked about that in the

Netflix documentary. Yes. But He had some pimp He was always talking about Some pimp that was like Getting mad at him or something I don't think then He was doing it like that I think then He was just kind of doing

Like his own independent thing Because he wasn't He was a freelancer Yeah He totally Totally like He was a Craigslist guy Maybe

Like Craigslist back page Before they took that They took that down That ruined a lot of lives How much does it cost For like Like how much you think He was getting for fucking Craigslist guy, maybe. Craigslist back page. Before they took that down. That ruined a lot of lives. How much does it cost? How much do you think he was getting for fucking? He was probably $150.

Like nothing. I have that whole bit where gay prostitutes, they don't make shit compared to women. Yeah, wage gap. Yeah, total wage gap. Total men are getting fucked in that escort game. Yeah, because you're a purchaser yourself. Oh, yeah, yeah, man.

If I want to titty fuck some hot broad, that's like 300 bucks for a half an hour, right? So if I'm trying to just like rub my dick against a dude's abs, I could get away for like 100 bucks, right? You can get the full fucking package for a fucking oh yeah oh yeah probably 50 bucks take off the condom like they're like you just sprinkle some change on the floor throw a couple rolls of quarters at them and say get to work they're like hey man i'm on prep you're like oh bareback uh where with man if you want to do bareback with the chick you're gonna have to fucking make sure she's gonna take a mortgage out she's she's got needle marks in her arms like that's like that either way it's expensive or she you're catching hiv um so he's yeah he's low so this guy's low rent 150 bucks a pop i mean honestly i like i and you're not doing that on record you weren't doing that personally no i wasn't i wasn't. I just was there to fuck, man. Like, I was so miserable.

Basically, I came to the realization that my baseball life was over. Like, I was, you know, there's certain things you're like, oh, I'm just not good enough. This was like a waste of literally 18 years. Yeah. I literally wasted 18 years. And I see this guy and I approach him like I was like, there's no way he's gay. And we end up talking. And this is before he changed his name. This is, I knew him as Eric Newman.

Really? Yeah, man. And so he's like, Eric, we talked. That's a way more bro-y name. So bro-y. It was very, the back. Imagine the guy was getting his arms cut off, and he goes, Newman.

The fucking guy looks up, yeah, Newman. Hello, Newman. But yeah, so Yeah. Newman. Hello Newman. But yeah. So I met him. We talked that night and I'm like, yo dude, like the whole, you know,

the play, right? No, I actually don't know. No, you know, the play. Okay.

I actually am not familiar with the play of picking up. No prostitutes. Like Woody's, you know, the play when you're out, if when you're single, you're out. You as a straight dude, fully straight dude, I'm rented straight right now.

But as a fully straight dude who's single, you know the play. You're going out. You're trying to fuck. Okay. Right? Yeah. That's the play. And that was the play that night.

So I'm like, yo, let's go hang out. I had a condo that I was renting for the fall. And I'm like, yo, let's go hang out. And had a condo that I was renting for the fall. And I'm like, yo, let's go hang out. He's like, and then he explains the whole tricking. Like he's,

he's a male prostitute. He can't tonight. She's like, I can come over. He says, I can't because I'm going to suck a dick for money. But if you want, I'm free tomorrow.

He was meeting like a sugar daddy. Okay. So I said, fine. So he comes over the next day and the dude had the worst body odor ever. Like it was – Newman. I literally said, dude, you got to fucking shower.

I showered him before we flew around. When you say you showered him. I literally took him in the fucking shower and washed him down like a dog that got fucking sprayed by a skunk. I was like this. I swear to – Dude, I will not lie about that. I'm literally spraying him like he fucking rolled in shit or something. I'm like, Jesus, Newman.

Why didn't he say like I can shower myself? You're like, no, this is very important. I don't think he was like self-aware to realize that he stunk. Right. He'd been out all night probably fucking with some old man and it probably was disgusting and he hadn't showered and he still, the smell was still like too strong. Thank God he's like locked up. How does this guy, how is this guy clocking dollars?

Like if you paid 150 bucks like this and the guy showed up like stinking like shit. They probably just had rough sex all night. That's why. Oh, you're saying he came straight to your house from a, from a job. Yes. From, from a gig. Okay. He wasging he was gigging and it was a long gig yeah he has his bag of condoms it was a long set he had a long set it wasn't like a quick set it was a you know it was he comes it's just his asshole's just fucking leaking he just got tuned up which Which is very possible. You got tuned up for a friggin' Walmart gift card.

Half used. I was going to say Amazon, but that wasn't... I know, I predated. Yeah, that was very clever. So he's at your house, you shower, and I'm down. But just because you were about to fuck. Yeah, and we didn't. We just fooled around. Why is that? Because he still smells.

I can't... We talked about this once. You can deal with smells, right? No, I Because he still smells. Like, I can't. I can't. We talked about this once. You can deal with smells, right? No, I don't like smells. No, of course. It's not like you're looking for a smell. But we talked about this. I can't deal with smells.

Remember when we were doing the podcast, your feet stunk so bad it was unbearable. No, but I'm saying. And Danny Polachuk, we're saying that he's on the ground. He's got to stop smelling the feet because he's on the ground he's gotta stop smelling the feet cause he's on the ground looking for loose change cause he's Jewish

that's but yeah but that was the thing with him like I okay so we talked about

smells before like if you're fucking someone and you pull out and there's like shit if you're fucking her in the ass

oh I can yeah that wouldn't bother me you could deal where if but again that's a female's ass. If I pulled out, I don't, yeah,

a dude's ass would be like gross. Oh, gross, gross. And I'm not fucking like, I'm fucking people who are like having protein shakes and stuff like that. This is disgusting. So yeah, so anyways, from that, we didn't even, we like, I can't even remember.

When you say fooled around with Luca Magnata, when you fooled around with serial killer Luca Magnata, what did you do with him? I think I just made him play with my nipples until I came. You didn't see his penis? No, I did. I can't remember, though. Really? Because that's the million-dollar question. Is Luca Magnata packing?

I presume if I didn't remember, it wasn't huge, but I also would have remembered if it was really small. Yeah. Because there was one dude who I once fucked who had a really small cock, and I'll always remember that. Right. Right. Because that would be very interesting information, like what Luke and Magnana's pack,

and you don't have a photographic memory. I don't. So you fooled around with them once, then what happened? Then we just, honestly, for the next two months, we hung out all the time. We hung out he would come hang we would like just chill and bullshit he was kind of like lost in his ways and i was lost in my ways like we're both in transition and then the craziest thing happened we would literally like we would just walk around downtown toronto you and luca yeah we would just hang out and just talk and bullshit.

We scammed. Is he funny? Yeah, he was cool. We scammed. I was so broke. We scammed an Indian doctor. How? So this is the time.

We got him to Western Union and that's $1,500. The Indian doctor lived in Toronto and Montreal. And we met him out there's a part in toronto called uh and by church street you know where the ymca is down downtown yeah it's a very gay area and there's an area where like kids hustle around there or used to i don't know how it is so we met this guy He pulled up in his car and he wanted to see what I look like. Luca's already like one of the sugar daddies. And I needed money and I didn't want to fuck around with him. So Luca Magnotti used his scamming ability to get money for you.

Yes. And not that I didn't want to fuck around with the guy because he was Indian or anything. He was just like fat. But maybe a little Indian. No. But no. You said that you said the Indian guys aren't a hot commodity in the gay scene no they're not they're very niche man they're like um they're like ssbbw's in the straight world oh you know what hold on let me take this because it's quarantine hello this is an important message regarding your membership at Blink Fitness. Oh.

I thought I was going to get yelled at for not quarantining. So this is literally, again, 2005. I didn't have a computer at my place. I used to go to internet cafes to beat off. I didn't have a computer. I would literally just sit there with like toilet paper on my cock and i would just like jerk off toilet paper on your when i was at the internet cafe oh so you wouldn't come all over your pants yes well i don't want to walk out of there with like

a fucking disgusting um but yeah so i would so what i would do to get off, I would call these free call lines and other men would be like, hey, I'm like 22 years old, 8-pack, 10-inch cock, smooth ass. They put their stats on that. Oh yeah, and total lies. And then this one Indian guy would be like, I wish I could do accents. You can't do the Indian? Dude, if I could do the Indian, this would be like a funny fucking clip. But I mean, it might be funny.

It's like, young jock just got back from a swim looking to fool around. And I would just like, and he would leave you, then you could leave direct messages. Like you had a general message to flip through, and then someone would be like, I'd be like,

hey, six pack, 25 years old, you know, like that's my message. Gay umpire. Seven inch thick cock, total top cut. So that would be like mine. And then he once messaged me because i'd hear him all the time it's like the same jabronis fucking just on there same losers like me have no fucking internet just losers and he's like hey i can't man i wish i could he's like

hey bro i would love to uh hang out with you and i just would this is the worst Indian accent it's the easiest one to do too I know it's brutal but I've never done an accent in my comedy so I would just like fucking like just pass over it

and then one time he left me a direct message oh you white guys are all the same you fucking pieces of shit you don't want to fuck around it was just

it was amazing it was like he had a freak out he wasn't happy dude he's on a fucking free phone line trying to get laid. He was like a gay Indian incel. He said, I deserve this eight-inch cock. He could have been the guy who did the fucking Orlando thing like that.

Just so mad. So mad at the fucking world. But yeah, I don't know why. Because me, I love Colombians. And I love like, you know, so I'm not opposed to like. Yeah, you like what youombians and i love like you know i so i'm i'm not opposed to you like what you like yeah you like what you like but i'm not opposed uh to people with like fucking uh a nice like golden dark skin yeah i i don't think they like being referred to that like when i'm like my favorite type of chicks off white yeah yeah an off white yeah someone who's

been that's the perfect the perfect color like've been fucking, you brush your teeth, but you drink coffee every day. Yeah, exactly. Like that kind of color. It's so hot. Okay, so you got this Indian guy, and he was one of his sugar daddies. The doctor, yes. So the doctor pulled up, and he looked at both of us, and he's like, yeah. In his car, he's like, yeah, I would like to do this.

And we were just talking, and we're like, yeah, we his car. He's like, yeah, I would like to do this. And so it was like, and we were like just talking to him. We're like, yeah, we want to do this in Montreal. I've never been to Montreal. We want to go to Montreal. If you send us money for fucking a bus ticket next time you're there, we'll take the bus, give us the X amount of dollars. Honestly, I'm in the two of us will tag team pleasure. Yeah.

Whatever it was. I don't remember the like certain things like this is this is the important thing like certain thing i might be off on like numbers or shit like that or an exact date but i'm like pretty accurate on this one it was like 1500 bucks and luca eric gave me like eight 800 bucks or whatever it was yeah yeah and then so you never went to mont. Fuck no. And I have, for me, I have no problem with that shit. The fucking dude wanted to take advantage of us. So I have no problem taking advantage of someone like that. Right.

But this was, was this like his thing? Because the whole thing. Eric's or the Indian doctors. If you watch the documentary, the gist of it was his whole life was like scam to scam. Dude, the fact that we had all these do you remember he had all these facebook pages and he was trying to make himself seem famous so he was he was essentially taking all these facebook pages and then writing stuff about himself like as if he had all these people trolling him like basically what some people do now where they the fake

accounts the people who have the fake twitter accounts to like yeah and then they'll post on it like oh this guy sucks and they're like oh my haters you know one of one of our buddies has a multiple instagram accounts okay and they posted something recently and from their other instagram account they commented on their post oh my god like see me i'll come like so i did that buffet show yeah i'll comment as jj lieberman on the buffet but i'm not gonna comment as like although on reddit i did that i did it because i have a toronto coke can reddit account so i'll post on like buffet buds yeah so jj has this show buffet buds we'll talk about that after the adamson's barbecue thing. Okay.

Okay. So the Luca, so much. So now you're fucking, you're two months in, you and Luca are going around the thing. Like what's the, what's the two serial killers, the,

the guy and the girl. Oh, fuck. Famous. I know who you're talking about. You're running around the city, like two cowboys, two gay cowboys.

Just run, two fucking gay cowboys. Just wreaking havoc, scamming Indian dudes. And the, not having sex, he said, right? Not having sex. And the truth is, man.

But why is that? Is it still because he smells? No, I just think it was, sometimes you get bad first impression, but he was like, really, this is the weird thing, like I say, I tell my girl as we're watching the documentary, he was really sweet. Like a sweet fucking person. like i could see something was like you know when something's off like you went but when we first met in comedy you knew something was off but yeah right but you just a lot you just but you know something's not there so like

with him something was was that's so funny jj that like right now in jail luke and magnata's like that jj guy i knew something was off about him. He could be, yeah, he could be like... But he knew. He knew before other people knew about my gayness, right? So there's a comfort level when you have with someone like that. I mean, you're literally giving him a handjob and giving him a fucking shower,

and he's like, I think this guy might be a little gay. And JJ's like, he knows! Oh, no! My secret's out! You're fucking giving this guy a little gay. JJ's like, he knows. Oh, no. We're obviously. My secret's out. We're obviously. You're fucking giving this guy a sponge bath. Yeah, totally straight bro behavior. No, but he was like, at the time, he was like masculine.

He was like, I would. I mean, he's literally a 140 pound guy in your shower getting like sponge bath down. And you're like, just a man's man. Just a fucking guy's guy my dick's in his mouth like what a bro just a yeah

no but when we would go out in public I didn't feel like because I wasn't out about my sexuality so you were with him

and people weren't like oh JJ's obviously with a gay guy yeah nobody thought nothing of it because when you see him in the movie you're like

clear gay guy clearly cocksucker. Okay, so, but you didn't, because know how he was into, like, killing cats and all that sort of stuff? Nothing like that, man. Like, you didn't find him to be, like, this cruel guy to animals or people? He was, I mean, you were running around town scamming people out of money, so he had kind of, like, had some lack of fucking empathy or whatever.

So, some people are, have deviantiant – like I have deviant behaviors. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like I have like really deviant fucking behaviors. But it stops at a certain place, right? Like you might just not be totally – I used to scam people all the time to get money. Like what? One time when I first started playing poker, I didn't have a lot of money and I was going to Arizona for a few months to train.

And I wanted – there's a place in Arizona called Talking Stick. It's a casino. And me and my buddy Mo, who Danny met, he's with the Washington Nationals. We would go to the casino to play this. It was called, I forget. It was 5-150 limit poker. So it was like you could bet anywhere from 5-150. It was a unique game.

But I loved playing that game, but I didn't have any money. So I posted on Craigslist that I was in like the men for men, that I was looking for someone to help me out financially for my training. But it was really for poker. And I got a few thousand bucks. What would be the training for? For baseball. This was at baseball.

This is when I first started. Did you have to blow them? No. Oh, you just said like, hey, fellow gay guy, gay man to gay man. Here's a story. Anybody want to help out?

Straight up like, oh, I'm just, I'm trying to be a baseball player. Yes. $2,000 short. And then you got it and you went straight to the casino yes went the opposite of straight to the casino went to the casino man was a scam i feel actually bad about that shit now right but he didn't feel bad about it but i was young and stupid right like. How many things have you done in your like 30s? No, I was like 20, 20 around. This is all the same man, dude. I was like having like unprotected sex with guys all the time.

Yeah. You kind of skirted out of there. Oh, man. Got pretty fucking lucky, dude. Got like I'm talking about numbers in the hundreds of barebacking. And that's sort of what? Some kid went fucking missing and it's ruining your podcast. Is that what's going on? Oh, here we go. Look at this. Alert.

Amber alert. Child abduction reported. Oh, fucking Magnata's back at it again. It's a fitness company. You didn't fucking answer the first time. The suspect, Sherma Knox, 39 years old. Interesting. again it's a fitness company you didn't fucking answer the first time the suspect sherman knox 39 years old interesting well i mean you know i hope they find him but we're trying to do a podcast here yes if you know uh sherman yeah if you know sherman knox if you're watching this fucking yeah

if you are watching this comment and uh yeah comment on with sherman knox's whereabouts but if it is sh Knox is watching and like, Hey man, I'm running. Yeah. I'm on the run. Okay. So fan of the boys gas.

So, so you're two months in, you're watching him scam people. You're scamming people with him, but you, so why did you, what was the thing where he tried to commit suicide or something like that? I didn't know anything about that.

I thought you told me that he had like a mental breakdown in front of you. No, he fucking all of a sudden. so i would call him all the time one time just didn't answer the phone then next time i called him right to you know when the phone goes right to like someone's on the call they can like put it right to voicemail yeah or phone's dead right to voicemail then that just started happening for days. And I'm like, why the fuck? Like, this is my boy. Why are you ghosting me?

And then all of a sudden the phone was disconnected. So I found out from someone who knew him as well that he ended up going to jail. He was like, for like, I don't know, for what? I didn't get the full details. And then the next time I heard about him is when I just started comedy. I'm pretty sure it was either when I just started comedy or right before around 2012, 2013. Again, I don't know the exact dates. It's like two in the morning, 3 in the morning.

I have the TV on, on the Canadian government news channel. And I hear this guy's voice. I heard of the Eric Newman thing. And this is how much his look changed. Because I'd seen the face, but I didn't put the fucking 2 and 2 together. Come on. Swear, dude. Swear. Swear. But then I fucking heard that voice. face but i didn't put the fucking one and uh two and two together come on swear dude swear but then

i fucking heard that voice that i know and i was like no fucking way i ran into my roommate's bathroom my roommate i swear at the time is taking a shit and i'm like yo adam i fucking know this guy and i because he my roommate's gay too he's a fag and i'm telling him he's like uh and my roommate's like a bro and i'm like he's like bro taking a shit but i'm like no and i i just i fucking like your shit can wait my fucking ex-lover is a serial killer i wasn't a lover but he was like lover notorious killer i don't know if it's serial but not out there that's the title of this podcast serial killer not dating and fucking know if it's serial. I'm really putting that out there. That's the title of this podcast. Serial killer. Dating and fucking Luca Magnano.

Serial cat killer is fair. That's a fair. He only killed one human. He was super into killing cats. Have you ever seen him around an animal? No, but that's, honestly, that's the thing that I tell. When we first started talking about that, I never got that fucking impression from him. I did not. I got the, like, certain people are like scammers snake oil salesman what's that guy who they call the huckster and

that uh michael dyson you know that fucking no the guy who was um who battled jordan peterson the head oh yeah michael dyson michael dyson like michael dyson no but like that kind of uh this is my michael dyson the uh term The termogrification of the white man. He's Michael Dyson. Like a huckster. Yeah, he's the king at saying nothing with a lot of words. Big words. Big words, long syllables.

Yeah, he loves long syllables. That's literally what Stephen Fry said to him. The aforementioned statement that the... What did you say? You said it. It was like a Simpsons character, right? I don't know if I said that. But yeah, it's like a simpsons character right yeah i don't know if i said that but yeah it's like a simpsons character is a character sure but like you don't think you think that guy's a snake oil salesman but you don't think he's gonna kill someone yeah same thing with eric like just like oh this guy just hustles for money

but i never thought he would fucking like i never saw that side of him. Never. Not even close. And you never talked to anyone afterwards that like knew him that was knew him during that stuff in the gay community? Not in the gay community. Just one person who knew him that I knew. And what did he say? This is crazy that Eric tried to fuck his life over by making these like fake websites about my this guy who I knew saying like this guy was a piece of shit dot com, like stuff like that. Really? Yes.

I don't know. But maybe is there. I don't know. But why? Why did he try to? I don't know, man. OK, there's got to be like, you know how people like flip the switch and become schizophrenic out of nowhere maybe that's maybe just went crazy i don't i don't know what it was maybe that's a possibility possibly drugs maybe could have been doing like hardcore drugs yeah but when i again

when obviously i'm not fucking vouching for the dude he's a piece of shit. But like, I'm not like, great guy, good hang. But when I knew him, again, I was like, I didn't have any money. The way I got the condo rented was through my mother. I wasn't making any money at the time. He went out of his way to hook up this Indian doctor. Yeah, he was like, this was him, you know, the first time someone did anything nice for you. Literally the first time someone did something so nice for me. So have you been in correspondence with him since he's been in jail?

No, not at all. Not at all. I mean, the guy could go fuck himself. Dear Mr. Magnata, my comedy career is going great. If you could give me that Indian dude's number, I would use another $800. I mean, hey, to do that, we should try and see if you could do a video boys cast from— Magnata? And say, this is JJ's story.

What's your fucking side of the story? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Magnata's like, first of all, I scrubbed him down. He smelled. JJ fucking stunk like shit. I scrubbed him down. Yeah.

There was no Indian man. I gave him $800 because I felt bad for him. So he could buy his baseball equipment. I actually fucked over the Indian man. I paid $800 for catcher's mitts. See, this is the thing. It's like, how could this be believable? I fucked over the Indian guy again because I met him on manhunt.com.

These are true fucking things. I don't even know if manhunt.com these are true fucking like things I don't even know if manhunt they're still on the nose dickandass.com those were my sites I had a process I would go on penisandthroat.org gay.com no once manhunt came around

no the one was dudesnude.com there's a famous actor now. I just saw him on Succession. I saw this guy on Succession. We fooled around when he was 19 years old in Florida. Really? Yes. Which guy is he in Succession?

He's- Kieran Culkin. No. I don't even know. I don't want to expose this guy because what if he sues me for defamation of character? Is he straight in real life i don't know i know because i watch his instagram videos he's fucking gay but i don't know if he wants people knowing that he was meeting guys dude dude dude's nude.com and this is another one this is how good if you just found like

pictures of like bill clinton on dude's nude.com but this is what this kid I'll get one if you just found pictures of Bill Clinton on dudesnude.com. But this is what this kid was. I mean, he wasn't an actor at the time. He was going to school to fucking act. And it was the night of the Super Bowl. I know you don't give a fuck about sports. It was the Super Bowl. But do you remember that guy who made that crazy catch on his helmet, David Tyree?

I do not. Okay, exactly. Fucking classic Super Bowl moment. Okay, exactly. Fucking classic Super Bowl moment. Did you change it? Look at Ryan, doesn't even fucking, he's not even a guy

that likes sports anyways. Not even a man's man. Let me just fucking spit this cum out into my gum spittoon. That's what Danny always used to say because I used to have

that bit where I'm like, I'm a typical guy's guy. He's like, yeah, guy's guy who fucking blows dudes through glory holes. Yeah. Guy's guy. Well, you would be like, oh, you guys are freaking gay. You guys are gay. And where I'm like, I'm a typical guy's guy. He's like, yeah, guy's guy who fucking blows dudes through glory holes. Yeah. Guy's guy. Well, you would be like, oh, you guys are freaking gay.

You guys are gay. And we're always like, you're the only guy here who's actually sucked a bunch of dicks. Not at once. Okay. Over time. Yeah. That's very gay at once. But yeah.

So, yeah. So I met the fucking, the guy who's a big actor now off dudesnews.com. And he. Dudesnews is killing me. Another one who came to the door all bro-y. Right. I'm like, man, and now he's like fucking. What's bro-y to you though?

Like this guy was the man's mesh tank top. Me, fucking bro. Like everything. No, but he was, no, he was like, he was like he was like like you know if you think of your student like ferris bueller's day off like a college bro yeah frat boy frat boy exactly and now when i see his instagram stories he's like talking about rupaul's drag race i'm like why why would you why would you fucking get sucked into the void of like hack fag yeah like why not just stick why not just stick it out as the bro yeah because i man like i know a lot of gay people um obviously and it's like come on man

like you you just but it's like anything else right you're just you're just getting sucked into the void of like the normies yeah i don I don't know. You go down the culture of the gay stuff. So, okay. So that was the Luke Magnata thing. Then now you're finished umpiring. Is it poker first or male stripper first? No, when I was in college, I would dance on the weekends. I went to like six colleges in five years.

You still call it dancing. I would dancing, dance. But you didn't do that much dancing. No, I to like six colleges in five years. You still call it dancing. I would, dancing, dance. But you didn't do that much dancing. No, I was watching porn stroke in my cock. That's,

I love the idea. One of my favorite things is because you are like this fucking like, I don't know, gay jock or whatever. The idea of you dancing like on a pole, what we're saying is you just have like a Coors Light in your hand and you have it in the air. And like, you're, you're like how guys are at a party And it's just like

Sweet home Alabama And you're just on You're on the strip club stage With a Coors Light in your hand Just up in the air Yeah, that's my song Sweet home Alabama Or ride a horse, save a cow

Or save a horse Save a horse, ride me That's probably actually like a popular In, I think in Virginia Ride a horse, save a cow or save a horse. Save a horse, ride me. That's probably actually like a popular in, I think in Virginia. You just listen to Springsteen's like. Dancing in the Dark? No, I'm like, ain't it America or whatever it's called. Yeah, I would do like, so I was going to school in Baltimore County and I would on the weekends.

Giving people a lap dance to fucking Ted Nugent. I never even realized he was a musician. I thought he was like a politician. Yeah, he's like a gun guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I didn't know he was like some badass musician. I don't know. Yeah, they were big, yeah.

Who was it? Ted Nugent. But what was his thing called? Bunch of songs. Oh, just he did them individually yeah ted nugent but he's still a big thing but yeah but yeah people don't like him because he's you know right wing yeah right i mean people who in our art circle i mean not even our circle yeah i can't imagine that like uh the the writing staff for ste Colbert are big Nugent heads. Yeah, they're playing that.

Because sometimes I would write to music and get fucking... I don't know if you ever write to music. No, I can't do anything. Really? You're on silence? Complete silence. Dude, sometimes... The slightest bit of anything in the background, I'm out of it.

I can't. I get what my writing process is and we'll get back to the sucking dick on stage. My writing process. Yeah, everyone's like, don't worry. No one wants to hear.

You're talking about fucking Luke McKnight and you're like, let's just take a little break and talk about my writing process. Everyone's like, honestly, I think we're good

on the writing process. But no, I would like to get high and listen to music. But yeah, that's a fair, valid point. It was like, hey man, here's a crazy story about fucking a notorious Canadian killer.

But no, I would take the Amtrak down to Washington and I would go to this place called Secrets in Ziegfelds and I wouldn't do it every weekend because there's baseball, but in the off season, in the winters. That's so funny that you're like this pro baseball player. Well, I wasn't do it every weekend because there's baseball but on like in the off season in the winters that's so funny that you're like this pro baseball player well I wasn't pro

I was in college you know whatever semi-pro college well I was in college like I was on a scholarship getting a scholarship and then like on the weekends you're going

and like yeah and I literally lived with a sugar daddy I lived at his place I didn't know you had a sugar daddy we didn't do anything sexually his name was George

I don't want to say again I don't know if I should be saying these people's last names. So basically the first night I ever went down to Secrets and Ziegfeld's, I had nowhere to go. And there's the male strip club. This is a strip. Half of it is, half of it was, I think it still exists, but it moved locations. Half of it was a drag bar but a huge drag bar like hundreds of people and the other half you walk from the drag bar the other half was like you it's funny it's like dude it was like an actual like the biggest contradiction lights people

dancing drinking having fun and then you walk into the next room you open this glass door and it's this dark red room with guys stroking their cocks. And it's great. It was wild. So the first night I ever went down there, I must have been 20. No, dude, I was fucking illegal to work there because I had a fake ID. So this is because it was. And I was like 20. And I went down there. And the guy.

The strip club manager. I think he's dead of AIDS now. Like no joke. Like I'm like. He had HIV at the time. So he might be fucking dead. And he was like the old school AIDS. Like he got it in the 80s.

Like he had it for. Because his part. Dallas Buyers Club AIDS. Literally. Dallas Buyers Club AIDS. And you want to talk about like the typical. he got it in the 80s like he had it for because his part was buyers club aids literally dallas buyers clubs aids um and you want to talk about like the typical like sassy like oh child like that kind of thing oh girl like he would call you girl you're like oh girl uh so he he i met him he was the first one to let me um he's like yeah yeah oh girl you could just dance here

i just say i saw your fake idea that would be so annoying dude it was the he's like yeah yeah oh girl you could just dance here uh just say i saw your fake idea that would be so annoying dude it was the he would like come in the back he would literally you're you're because you go on for 20 minutes and come on for 20 minutes what would you do on stage literally they had porn and i would stand there and because they would the way uh secrets work they would put five dancers on at a time. But kind of that runway thing. So you're up there and in the middle of everyone. And so people would come around stage and tip your socks. Your socks?

Like, put money in your... In your gym socks. Yeah, literally gym. And then some of them would bend over to stroke your cock. And if you had a G-string... I wasn't into that. I'm like, I was into the gay shit. You know, I'm just a guy on stage just stripping for a bunch of dudes.

I don't want to add some gay stuff to the equation. I was into it for the pleasure of sex, not like having some old dude touch me for money. Yeah. So we would be like dancing on stage. And then on the breaks, you'd be in the back room and he would come in the back and he would just like stare at you like kind of like. And just walk out like it was so dramatic. Everything was dramatic. Everything was a handful for this guy. Everything was dramatic. So the first night I'm down there, I'm dancing and the bartender who was part owner of the club steve um i was like man i have nowhere to go tonight and there's a guy at the bar george who's sitting a regular who's sitting there he's

like oh i can take you home and i'm like but i was like i'm not i don't want to do no you you but he was not like that he was not like he wasn't trying to get it He wasn't trying He was like literally A good person Who just gave me Eventually like A fob to his condo And when I would come On the weekends It seems like being gay

Is a lot like Being a girl Where you just like You just like Gotta go through life And people pay for shit for you Oh it was amazing When I was

See this is a problem You gotta be You can't be over the hill You gotta be like under 30 But you literally go around There's just a bunch of Rich guys paying For all your stuff. See, the problem is people are going to watch this now and see me at 40.

And they're like, no way people paid for that. But then 20 years ago, you have to. I wish there was a fucking filter where you could put more hair on, take away the belly fat. The way you describe yourself, when you say you were 25, you see yourself as like he man, essentially. I've seen photos. You're the same with a little bit more hair, more hair.

And, and, but the thing that my cell was like the thing that stuff, because people are going to see my big nose, my fucking lips are like, this guy's disgusting. But it was the bro-ness that was my thing. That was your,

that was your niche. Yeah. My niche was like, it's niche was like it's like almost it's like uh uh can't believe it's not straight yeah that's what it is it's like not every chick so close to straight right but but not every chick wants to get fucked by mandingo but there's but there's women out there they're like i just i mean look at it right like it's just so like even me. Like, I think Ron Jeremy is disgusting.

Not for the rape, just looks. Yeah. But I would, man, if I saw that dick, I'd be like, like, even right now talking about it, there's blood rushing to my cock. Ron Jeremy. As disgusting as he is. That's doing it for you. No, it's the dick.

It's just so huge. Like, you'd like it through a glory hole would be ideal. Oh, ideal. Ron Jeremy through a glory hole would be one of the best moments of my life. That'd be ideal for you. I didn't know you were such a Jeremy head. No, I'm not. I think he's disgusting.

It doesn't sound like you think he's disgusting. Yeah, I'm pretty sold. No, but through the glory hole. Yeah, we'd have to do that. Okay, so now we're at the club. Yeah, and George- I feel like I want to be the narrator for when this is the musical story of your life.

See, this is- Back in the closet, back in the closet. You guys limited it to umpiring. I'm like, man, there's stripping and stuff like that. There's too much fun stuff. Yeah, so we've been umpiring. Umpiring is a little less intriguing. The stripping, but the stripping,

you still have to give lap dances, right? Like you're just, you just shake your ass on a dude. No, not at this club. It wasn't like that. Okay, so your main source of income was them putting bills in your socks. Yes.

And your cleats. I went up there with a bag. Oh man, if I was like a nerd like that, if I want to make a living at that time, I would have wore cleats. Oh, I would have wore a jock nerd like that, if I want to make a living at that time. You would wear cleats. Oh, I would have worn a jock strap. You really leaned into it.

Helmet on. On top of your normal retired helmet. The eye black. I would have had the eye black. That's so funny. A pack of big league shoe. Yeah, just dipping shoe on stage. And your next dancer.

Yeah. That would have been fucking amazing. The eye black would have been a huge hit. Eye black. Dude Yeah That would have been Fucking amazing The eye black Would have been a huge Eye black Dude they would have Dude I used to wear Fucking bow ties

Or just full black face You know Just get in there No I just really hate Sun on my face Full black face And cock extension

Yeah Cock extension A lot of people know Why not But yeah So I would I did that And I stayed with this guy George and then okay so how'd you get out of the stripping game you

got that's poker said poker get you out of the stripping game i i think it's very like forrest gump story if you if you i'm pretty i'm yeah i'm autistic no but if you think about like remember how forrest gump just kept stumbling from thing to thing? And then he's a ping pong player. And then he's a shrimp salesman. You kind of have a little bit of a life that you just stumbled into. But all of your things were degenerate. You guys always said it. I was like Bart Simpson with the closet, the golf clubs, the drums.

Remember the drumming phase? I drummed for three months. Yeah, you've done a lot of things for three months. I've done more things for three months. Comedy is probably the longest thing. Comedy and poker. And poker. And,

and this girlfriend. Yeah. Two, two years, two years and no dick. That is. Do you ever get the fucking craving for the good stuff again though? Honestly,

I'm, I'm not, not real. Like, it's not like I want to, you know, I always say I want to, I beg her to watch her get fucked by another guy.

Like I could, if I could do that. That's the other thing. JJ calls people a cock and you're like, you are a literal cock. But I'm not a cock. I think, I think, I think a cock is someone they're like, they're like, dude, dude, five minutes ago you were talking about a serial killer. What? Oh yeah. This is just falling apart.

Like, dude, you're talking about a serial killer. Oh, yeah, this is just falling apart. Like, dude, you're talking about a serial killer, and now you're talking about cuckolding. But, yeah, I mean, I don't know. So the cell's not going that great, though? You haven't been able to convince her? She'll, like, literally just go, okay, just to, like, so I can come and stop talking about it.

What do you mean, okay? Like, when we're fucking, I'm like, yo, let me watch you get, let me watch. Oh, she'll agree to it in the context of that? No. But then when you're like, remember what you said? She was like, I'm not actually. She literally me watch you get, let me watch. Oh, she'll agree to it in the context of that. No. Then when you were like, remember what you said, she was like, I'm not actually. She literally goes, it's not my thing. And you're like, yeah, it's my thing. But like what woman wouldn't want to cheat?

Is it, is it possible? Because she thinks when you see the guy, you're going to be enjoying the guy more than her. Probably. She probably thinks there's that. There's that. She's like, yeah. You're like, wouldn't it be crazy if I just like sucked it right now? There was. There's this.

Well, we're doing this. Like, you know what I mean? Like, you'd probably think it was hot if I sucked it. I just like, no, I wouldn't. Like, I know it's your birthday present. She would get so mad. Like, he's fucking her. And then he says, who's licking my balls?

Yeah. And you'd be on. She would. You're like in the corner of the room. She looks at the corner of the room. You go, wait, JJ's not in the corner anymore. I'm not getting. You're like in the corner of the room She looks at the corner of the room You go Wait JJ's not in the corner anymore She's I'm not getting

How am I in the corner Because you're the cock No She's in the corner That's what I was trying to do her voice Oh yeah okay Bad impression

She goes How did I get in the corner She swaps out I should have done the The female voice But I was Again I'm bad With the voices

But yeah She won't She won't She's not She doesn't dig it. That's a pain in the ass, you know? If you're just a gay umpire poker player that wants your girlfriend to get- Comedian.

Comedian that wants your girlfriend to get fucked by another dude and she won't do it. I really don't get why women don't like that. I think, like, who wouldn't want that? Yeah, the other way around. If you're like, oh, but girl wants me to bring another girl over to blow me. Could you imagine if you're dating someone and your girl's like, when I'm at home, I want you to go out and just smash puss.

Yeah, and that's what you say. I would just want you to go out and smash a dude. I'm like, please, let me like, I'll bring up like like, her ex-boyfriends, and she gets so mad. Today I did a compilation of ex-boyfriends, like, because one of her ex-boyfriends, I saw on Instagram. I sent you the thing where he's crying on Instagram. Hilarious. That guy seems unstable, dude, if I was you being watching out. So I said, oh, man, I just play it.

She screams at me. I play it in front of her. I can't. It's like I can't stop watching it. She screams at me. I play it in front of her. I can't. It's like I can't stop watching it. What do you mean? You just watch her? You're sitting there with her watching her ex-boyfriend's Instagram? Not by her choice.

By mine. And you're just like, that would be hot. Like, you're just watching. No, no. No. The crying's a big turn off. I'm just saying. I can't.

Yeah, I don't want to get cucked by a guy who's crying. A guy who's cucking himself He's like Yeah You're like look at this buzzy Man up and fuck my girlfriend Well and then she had another one She always yells at me

Why can't you just be normal And her Her ex before me Had a sleep apnea mask So It was like a Bay Street executive That sucks

And so Yeah that was a thing Jared Campbell as the Joker It's like a bay street executive that sucks and and so yeah that was the thing that jared campbell has the joker it's like a guy with a sleep nap asking him apnea mask you're just watching someone slowly die and all slowly almost die for an entire night just oh yeah because he he room with i used to tour with a guy uh julian was like that you be like, you'd be sleeping. Which one is Julian? Come on, dude. He was almost dying the entire night. That's like,

that's what sleep apnea is. Like those people, they just almost dying for an entire night. Dude, can you imagine bringing a chick home and just like, anyways, like pull your fucking sleep apnea mask on. Ricardo. Yeah.

It's an insane thing to have to do. Ricardo was so embarrassed. I'd rather die. Ricardo was so embarrassed. I'd rather die. He's so embarrassed about a sleep apnea mask. And he should be. And he wouldn't bring it to Montreal because he was too embarrassed to wear it. So basically Ernie had to listen to him die.

Like, like snore. I mean, it's insane. You got a Darth Vader mask on. No, but it worse. I mean, why didn't he just get his own hotel room?

Yeah. The fucking pony up the extra dollars. Cheap comedians. Comedians are fucking cheap. Speaking of which, we got 25 bucks for this? Yeah. Oh, I'm just kidding. I'll pay.

Dude, you go on the Boyd's cast, you get treated right, dude. That was... You know where I got that? I said I'll pay you to the Patreon. The main things you... No, no. You know where I got that line said I'll pay you To the Patreon The main things You know where I got that line Where I watched

The Comedy Store documentary And Carl The guy who opened For Kinison Yeah He's like So I get that $40 right And I was

I was I was in tears That he said that That guy had a strange life dude Fucking Kinison Had sex with his wife And had a kid with her

Kid And he was like Raising the kid And he found out When Kinison dude. Oh. Kinnison had sex with his wife and had a kid with her. Kid. And he was like raising the kid. And he found out when Kinnison, how crazy is that? Isn't that fucked up? That would have turned you on though, right? They'd be like,

just so you know, that's the ultimate cocking. You're raising his kid. Every time you go to the son's baseball game and you're just like, kind of hot though, right? You're sitting there rubbing your fucking dick. Yeah, you're still,

that's the ultimate cucking. Oh, that would be amazing. You raise the kid to completion and then you finally come and the kid graduates. That's the ultimate cucking. The fact that I think someone else coming in your girl. Yeah, you like that, don't you? That's a big one for you, isn't it?

She can't listen to, like if she's back, because she went out to go get groceries, like women should. And if she's hearing this now, we're in big trouble. We are. This podcast better go viral, because I'm going to be fucking sick. You're going to be hearing about this. So are you sort of forbidden to talk about the gay stuff right now?

Like, do you have to pretend? Because the funny part is, how you met this girl was through comedy and you talking on stage. Like, if you've seen, like, go watch AJ's comedy. He has a special coming out. And literally your act is like, I'm sucking all these dicks.

You fucking people. Well, you go, I'll open a butcher shop in your ass because I'm having sex with her. I love dick. I'm a dick. Nom, nom love dick. I'm a dick spot. Nom, nom, nom. Dick, dick, dick. Well, that's what she did. Nom, nom, nom.

How does she watch this? And she was like, I could date this dude. She literally said after. Or did you come up to her and you're like, you know, that's all an act. I'm straight as an arrow. I said to her, I'm straight as an arrow. But if we fuck raw, get tested for HIV. That's what you said.

And she said, okay, well, let's not do that. Well, I always worried the first time we dated and then broke up and then dated two years later. Was it part of that, that you being a homosexual? I think it's part of that. Was there a portion of you breaking up that had to do with the fact that you're a homosexual? No lie. I'm like literally a couple of days ago wiping my asshole, dying, thinking about the fact like if there's shit that I told her that I did, she would fucking cry.

Like what? What's any of the what's some of the juicier stuff? Bathing Luca Mignotta like that. fucking cry like what what's any of the what's some of the juicier stuff bathing luca mcdada like that like if she's like oh my oh my god but yeah i don't know i it's just like first relationship really like i i i fuck oh my god find the fucking kid can people stop going missing jesus anyways yeah i hope they find them or is this a second one? Hold on, let's check this out. My lips get very dry during this. It's the same one? Yeah.

Okay. We wrap up this... Wiping my ass laughing about... No, but that's the stripping component. Yeah, stripping was like little... These are blips, man. The only thing that's been really consistent was when I started comedy.

Yeah. That was, and then, so the, there's lots of interesting comedy things, but it's so funny. Cause you know, when people talk about the, you know,

social justice and the LGBT and all that sort of stuff, the funniest part was, so JJ was on stage and he was gay and the LGBT people weren't having it. Like you weren't allowed to do the LGBT shows. Some of the, some of the shows would not accept. So, okay. So it's Like, you weren't allowed to do the LGBT shows. Some of the shows would not accept. So, okay, so it's like, you know. Remember you won Now Magazine's, like, best comic.

Or whatever, yeah, some article. Yeah, so JJ got a thing like best comic in Canada for that year or whatever. And all the fucking woke people. A nothing thing, though, right? Like, it wasn't like. Well, whatever, it wasn't a nothing thing to them because Twitter.

But the woke comics, yes. Yeah, they started a cabal against you yeah trying to take it away they go to the writer they're like this guy's they threatened the writer they literally like wanted this guy to what is it redact the statement they said we have to redact the statement that you're a good comic yes and they they i remember there was one one guy guy who would go on his, like, you know, one of these guys. And the problem is like, I think like me and you, like Danny's the same. We don't take fucking sides. We're like fair, like down the middle. Right.

Yeah. Like you call it as you see it. And one guy's like, but this should be a show for like this organization. be a show for like this organization and they shouldn't have to include you if they don't want the lgbt's shouldn't have to include you if they don't want to include you like he was defending it's not up to you to include who to include yeah it's not your fucking choice who to include either you're trying to provide a platform for people in that fucking ridiculous absurd umbrella of too many things or and so if you're gonna fucking include the fucking non-binary whatever uh what are they called where they're not a gender yeah if then

you're gonna include a guy who fucking uh suck dick smashes pussy and says faggot so that's how it is and for you you're like no but they're they're like well, that's too bad because you say the wrong things on stage. That's what it is. So, no, you actually didn't suck dick. It's that, it's how I say things. And the thing was that bothered me the most. Because you're old school gay. You know, where you actually were trouble.

You know, the problem was I'd done shows with Scott Thompson. You know Scott, right? Kids in the Hall the kids in the hall kids in the hall and scott goes on stage and scott i love i like he was he's always been so nice to me and i got to open for him um uh a couple times and when i go on and i scream faggot people get like uncomfortable but he goes on and he's screaming it too what youtube gets uncomfortable too you gotta take down if you want to get monetized i gotta no it's true on this i got dude i got hate speech strikes on my other one so what are you gonna do about this i'll just

bleep it out which again that's another thing how the fuck can you tell me like how can an organization say hey we're trying to provide a safe space for certain da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Some people, they get very uncomfortable or it brings bad memories. But I'm like, I live those same fucking – I live through that shit too. But that's not like – like, I don't feel you have the right – like, you don't censor, maybe they do, rappers dropping N-bombs. No, it's the exact same thing. That's your N-word.

Right. It's exactly my N-word, because there was some police brutality in the 60s. Yeah, there you go. There we go. And you said you sucked enough dick to earn the right to say that. Earn the right. But no, but like, it's like what who gets to who gets to choose like and again like well it's the same thing as them saying you know whatever like kanye west oh he's

not black anymore when he liked trump all that stuff it was like there's like never it's never been about helping a group it's always been about helping their ideology exactly and and this is a thing even like the way we do comedy we don't like we're not going to make like there's not like a point to my comedy i don't think like i'm not trying to i'm just trying to like fucking uh do funny shit crazy a little extreme and stuff like that but these guys they they make they're trying to like make fucking points they're like and it's like man it's like and i'm not i don't like to come on a podcast and try and make like be that's not me i'm not that guy it's kind of like eye roller yeah you want

you don't need people to leave the comedy club being like that is true i am gonna vote like that yeah i don't give a fuck i made a pretty good point about that senator i should uh support him and even doing the podcast like the thing is like right now i'm we're just trying to tell the fucked up stories that are funny but like some people are just fucking ridiculous and they're and they're just wrong like they're remember that girl that uh wrote the wrote the article about you when you went on the date with her oh yeah it was um we this is when like so i started like consistently banging chicks when I started comedy. The first time I ate pussy was right before comedy.

And I wasn't like into it. I was actually into it, but the way it happened, the chick sat on my face and I have a big nose and it was uncomfortable. So you slept with this girl? Yeah, it was an escort. No. Oh, the story. Okay, what are you talking about? Okay, so there's this big show in Toronto called Tinder Tales.

Yeah. So some broad put on a show, and it's basically nerds who go up there and talk about their tinder stories and it's like supposed to be comedy but it's like not funny people and no offense i mean just sorry shots fired no we got fire in the rain okay so that's stupid by me in the scope got him in the scope but it's like people like telling stories and it's like a supportive show and so i've done the show yeah i've done the show too but someone from that group went on a date with me and we end up fucking and they wrote this article about how i like got them to come up to my apartment and i showed them my dick, which is all true, but conveniently left out that we had raw sex. Interesting.

Yeah, completely leaves out the devils in the details, right? Pretty big detail. Yeah, pretty big detail. Talks about my yellow teeth, my ripped shirt. That's what it was. They were hitting you up. They go, this guy, we're like, this could be anyone. And they're like, this guy wears a ripped shirt that says Popeye.

He has two chihuahuas. He has yellow teeth. Sheahuas. Yellow teeth. She called out your yellow teeth. And she said Coke can dick. Oh, because you, what did you think you said? What's your, what was your handle? Pop can 85 or something? No, I just told her.

I was like, hey, you want to come see the Coke can? So, yeah, she wrote that, but she didn't fucking. And she's talked about my relationship with my mother which everyone knew like someone posted evan uh demaray posted who is this comedian and then tim mcdonald says oh i think it's jj yeah everyone was pretty obvious yeah it was and she was lying about the whole thing no she was accurate about the whole thing except the sex she said she ran away i'm'm like, come on, man. Get sex.

Did you ever see her after? No, I don't know where she exists anymore. She used to. She got so mad. This is a crazy story. So me and Amish did the podcast at Patel. And one time, I guess I was telling him the story about how I hooked up with this chick. And I called her a four

on the podcast and she fucking snapped she like start texting me like I'm a four and I'm like oh man I'm trying to make it funny yes but then two years later she held on this experience for two years then she wrote the fucking article this is what I was talking about or is this the same thing yeah the same so she Yeah, the same. So she wrote this article two years later because you called her a four on the podcast. Two years after I called her a four. She held on to this fucking thing. Like, sociopath.

What a fucking, what a crazy, like. My whole thing is like, I'm shocked for the amount of straight dudes, fully straight. Like, I can, man, you know dudes, fully straight. Like I can, man, you know, she can leave me and I'll be fine. Right. Like I can, like you're saying you could get another hot chick.

That's your deal. Or dude. Right. Like, I mean, like, I'm like, I'm fine.

Open market, open market. Right. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's like, you know, you go to the fish.

If she's, if you're listening right now, if you, if you, if you can hear this, uh, you just know, please don't go uh and i was like i love you i love you uh you're dirty but so uh we don't need you we don't 100 needs you yeah

i love you very much please for sure definitely if you go that will not be good. The funniest thing that I found out from you was the Harvey Weinstein thing where he was like – How he was like doing that stuff to all those girls. Oh, yeah, yeah. That was amazing. No, the begging. Oh, please, please, please. Like you would do that. You did that on the podcast.

And one time you were going, oh, please, please, please, please, please, please. Because that's what Harvey was. Yeah. Yeah. And that's like – Please, please, please. And that's what I do with her now. I'm like, oh, please, please, please, please.

That thing. And I just picture him just like, you know, just. But yeah. You're basically that. But for another dude's dick, you're like, please touch it. Not mine. Someone else's. Please.

So what were we? I don't know. Well, you talked about that in me story. And basically she didn't like the date. So then she wrote. Oh, yeah. OK. So my point on that Amish story, and basically she didn't like the date, so then she wrote the title. Oh, yeah. Okay, so my point on that was, like, I'm surprised...

Like, as a guy who can, like... I'm very... I'm flexible. Heteroflexible. Heteroflexible. Because the first two months, we saw you doing stand-up. That was a bit.

And then we were just... And then, literally, it was, yeah, this, like, jock dude on stage being, like, you know, doing jock dude on stage being like, you know, doing a men, women be fucking shopping. You know, it's like, you know, when you got the mall with your bitch and, and then like three, and it was like, we knew you for like three months. And then you were all of a sudden like, also like a dabbling, sucking dick.

We're like, well, no, it was, it was about a year and a half after, after. Yeah. You didn't drop that for a while. Until 2014. And I started at the end of 2012. Yeah. So it was about a year and a half right after after yeah you didn't drop that for a while 2014 and i started 2000 at the end of 2012 yeah it was about a year and a half um but yeah what do you think of the state of gay people right now for a man that's your people what do you think of the state of your people man i think i have you been weaponized i i think i think it's like it's one of those things where

we i think we've like tried to do bits on it where it's like, man, you fucking gay. It's like you don't know. You're still sassy as fuck, and you can't be sassy. It's not like sassy in the 90s where you had to be sassy because you're a fucking target. You know when you're a prey, so you have to have some kind of fucking thing that – or not prey. What's the ones that you're getting preyed on? Not not prey. What's the ones that get eaten, like you're getting preyed on? Yeah. And you have to have.

Not a prey. What's the one they get preyed on? The ones that get preyed on. Not preys. We'll go with prey. Predator. Predator. When you're the prey, getting predatored, you're like, you have some defense mechanism.

That's what fucking gays had. They had the sassiness. Now these fucking gays. That's a good point. Yeah, now they have this fucking sassiness. But you're like, for what? I can't even say not like you can. Yeah.

You're propped up. Why do you have to have that defense mechanism? There's someone watching. Look at J.J. making good points. Yeah. There's someone watching this right now who's trying to ruin your fucking career. Some idiot waiting for you to fucking slip up. Oh, there's a few of them.

Oh, yeah. They're waiting for you to slip up. Man, some fucking. Fuck you. You fucking cunt. Just waiting for us. You're Messed up fucking. Fuck you, you fucking cunt. Just waiting for us. Oh, you're going to have to bleep out faggot cunt. And they're still going to show that clip, right?

He's like, he's yelling faggot. But my point is, like, now I can't, you can't say nothing as a straight dude to a gay guy. It's like a mafia boss's son. Like, my dad will fucking murder you. Right? That's what it is. I like the mafia boss's son. Yeah, will fucking murder you right that's what it is the mafia boss yeah you can't man you're like you're you're you're overprotected and you have fucking attitude fuck that that's that's that's like exhausting man yeah it's unnecessary not the state of gay and then the state of gay that's the name of the podcast well they remember the guy tried to get the show me to do the tv show oh yeah i was told about that the other they it's like a a big

fucking uh not uh what is it what not executive where they called um producer production house okay they you know him yeah i remember he wanted me to do a show called The Other Side of Gay. And that's where I hang out with gay people doing gay things. It's like he's like dress shopping. Like, dude, he brought me in and I brought I made Danny come in. Scrubbing your bum. I made Danny come in so he could pitch to the show. Yeah. And I could be like, hey, here's a presentable writer.

I got a Jew on staff. I mean, even though I'm Jew. But he's like, yeah, one episode is you can dress up and drag and do a drag contest one week. That would be like the ultimate selling out where you turn on the TV. And it's selling out for like $2,000 a pilot. Are you kidding me, man? Dude, if the other side of gay wants to go on fucking Disneyney for millions even then i i don't know if i could do it what was the other what was the other kind of things you were gonna do on the other side of gay uh the other side of gay so it's like this guy

so it's the premise of this show that like you're this gay guy but you're not a good gay guy so not a good gay it would be the equivalent of like a a dorky black guy being like learning to do a bunch of like hood shit is that kind of the idea of it uh uncle tom a gay uncle tom a gay uncle a gay uncle tom just hanging out yeah uh hanging out um with his boys uh i didn't want to say projects but basically i did um yeah so the other one was like we'll go to a so the first one was um uh the drag the next one was was take me to a lady gaga concert with the lady i guess and then he literally said in the pitch meeting this show sucks this he said in the pitch meeting you'll go hang out with the monsters i said who and he's like that's what they call lady gaga's fans i was like yeah this show stinks this show it would have my i have no career it would who would it be for because like gay guys wouldn't

want to watch like straight people aren't watching this kind of bullshit like a normal dude's not watching well maybe girls but It was for girls. I get, yeah. But for girls, like. Girls would not. What girls are watching a show where like you're the protagonist? What the other side of gay should have been. Who's this for?

Is me taking an effeminate guy. Yes, exactly. And. That's the. Yeah. That's the angle. Yeah. Taking him to like a WWE.

And I'm like. You know what I'm saying? Or like taking him to like watch a Steven Seagal movie yeah like that fucking about a plate catch like he's your son telling women that they should fucking be in the kitchen like be misogynist you homo it's you telling some gay guys I had to tell their girl yeah tell your fucking what are they called fag hags tell your fag hag she's a fat pig and to lose weight before she starts sucking dick. Yeah, that's the other side of gay.

That's a fucking good show. But when you said that in the bitch meeting, the guy was like, yeah, I think the other one's probably better. We're actually going to stick with the first one. No! And then I'm yelling at them. And I tell them, if you don't call this girl a fat pig. The other side of gay season finale

is we go to the gay area and egg gay people and finally they're graduating to gay bashing who's funding season 2 that's the final show that honestly would be an incredible show. Basically, it was like your scared straight program,

but they still get to be gay. Like, I'm just scaring your personality straight. Yeah, and then we follow afterwards. You know, they come back two weeks later with a camera, fucking gay dudes crying. He's like, I can't believe I threw eggs at gays. Yeah. No, that would be fantastic. And then the... gay dudes crying. He's like, I can't believe I threw eggs at gays. Yeah. Yeah,

that would be fantastic. And then the, that would be, honestly, that would be an incredible show. So what percentage when you go to like

the gay bathhouses? All Asian. Oh. Yeah, both? But what percentage of the people there are like straight dudes in the closet?

Because what did you, you went to the bathhouses but then you also went to the, you know the biggest one the movie theaters right the booths no I no

that was Tom Hanks in Philadelphia get the fuck out of here you didn't go to the bath you didn't go to the movie theaters I thought you did maybe I took a little fucking peek

yeah you did but we gotta get something comedic dude we used to drive around like Toronto on the way to gigs and JJ would be like, jerked off there, jerked off there.

I fucking jerked off there. Oh, I've done it. In that dude? You're like, yeah, that's a take. Dude, I fucking once jerked off in my coach's office. Really? Yeah. That got you off?

Like you went into his... No, it wasn't for that. I was just horny and I was like fucking 16 years old. And I remember where I busted my nut because he had a takeout container and I opened it up. And as I was coming in it, I smelled like the french fries. I was like, oh, this is amazing. That's insane. But yeah, so yeah.

So what my point is, when you go to the movie theaters, is it like a lot of in the closet dudes like Pee Wee Herman style? Or is it pretty much like a free trial? So I never really did the movie theaters. I did. there's a place and again you can fucking YouTube the, what you're talking about is Zorba's in

Scottsdale, Arizona. It's like an adult store and in the back they have individual booths. Like you press a button and it turns around.

You literally go into the booth and you can put money in to watch the videos. So some of the booths would have like a screen come up and you could see the other side and guys would be like jerking off. Right. But guys would hang out. This is, again, this is like fucking, what are we, 2020?

This is 20 years ago. Guys would be hanging. This is when I first went to college. In 99, I went to school at Phoenix College And this is when I first started getting like sexually active Because I didn't in high school I was like so fucking Just a bro playing ball

Just a bro playing ball But then I got a car I had some fucking A little bit of allowance and shit like that I would go to Zorba's and just fucking hang out And there was guys who were just like creeping and it was like that it was like straight men that's what i'm asking would hang out back there and i remember because i would go and i actually made friends with the guy who the front desk

attendant he's like this like tall skinny gay black dude yeah and i would go and i'd go talk to him and then i would go in the back. And he would always, because of like, I guess for the cops reasons, there'd be guys hanging around and he would go in the back. He's like, okay, get a booth. And guys would like

disperse like cockroaches, right? Like they would, you know, like go into hiding. Yeah. Did I ever tell you this? And go into the booth? And then you said it was all Asians at the bathhouse.

No, no, that was... Because you used to sleep at the bathhouse I did sleep at the bathhouse It was like everything It was So why did you sleep Like you had nowhere to stay So you'd go to the bathhouse

Because it was all night I was just working You'd take a nap at the bathhouse No, my mom lived in North Toronto And I was working I was managing a gym from midnight Guy named Jim, yeah Eleven What did he say? Managing a guy named Jim from midnight. Guy named Jim, yeah.

Managing a guy named Jim, male prostitute. Guy named Jim. I was managing his ass. I would do 11 p.m. until 6 a.m. And then I would work another job starting at 4 p.m. So I didn't have enough time to go up with the subway. It would take an hour to get up, an hour to get down. I mean, you did what any man would do. Yeah, sleep in a bathhouse.

Use my student ID and get $11 a night at Spa Access in Toronto. Holy shit. Dude, I, so when I was in, this is a, when I got kicked out of university or Merez or whatever, and then I went to live in Hamilton at McMaster. So I stayed with those guys for like a month and a bunch of us were like partying in downtown Hamilton. The adult? What?

The adult theater yeah yes yeah so yeah basically what happened was we're like yo it'd be hilarious to go to an adult theater it's like 230 bars are closed the one downstairs right i yeah yeah it was i think it was upstairs there's one that i would go down the story is crazy because we go in and we're like this is funny like a bunch of us and then some older man this is when i'm like 20 and we're like this is funny like a bunch of us and then some older man this is when i'm like 20 and we're like but it's not a gay movie it's like a porno so we're like this is hilarious a bunch of like we're 18 and we're like watching this porno we're drinking beers like it's funny come on and then old man the other side of you don't realize i didn't even cross my mind like when you know i

guess like looking back you look around you're like that's a dude that's a dude that's a dude it's all dude you don't yeah i guess of course it is but this older guy he comes he walks into the theater sits next down to me and you're kind of like okay and then starts grabbing my dick and i go what the fuck god fuck so i get up and i run back to the to the back of the theater to run out of there because i'm like this guy's trying to fucking you know molest me and then I try to go through the bars but you can't get out so you it's an it it's it's like the the twist I don't know what you call it spinning I know exactly what you're talking about like a turnstile yeah but it's all like a subway grade so I can't get through so I'm like help I'm like help the guy eventually he cut the guy you know old guy that works the front he goes what's going on now you

know presses the button to let me out but this is the funny part so i finally get out and i'm like what the fuck this guy's trying you know and then i run and when i go to the front of the thing i slid down the railing and there was a screw sticking out of the railing so i slid down the railing like bart simpson style And it fucking tore my ass. A big line down my ass. I was wearing corduroys at the time. Ripped them to shreds. So I'm like, a guy just tried to molest me.

I go in there and Final Destination style. You had your ass fucked. Basically, the world's like, your ass getting fucked one way or the other, homie. Your ass was getting fucked no matter what. No matter what. So it was a guy or a nail? It was a guy or a nail. But it was like, other, homie. Your ass was getting fucked no matter what. No matter what. So it was a guy or a nail? It was a guy or a nail. But it was like, yeah, I just.

And I go, what? I just escaped one ass blasting to another. All my friends. So basically my friends come running out and we're just like. And then once it was all done, we're like, pretty funny. Pretty amazing. Well, see, and that comes down to the two diseases. You either got HIV or Hep C from the nail. Yeah, I was getting something one way or the other.

You were getting. But imagine the audacity of this guy, like a bunch of friends. I guess that's the system. You just go and grab a dude. Oh, it's just, yeah, it's an unsupervised buffet. Yeah, you just molest someone until they're down. So, yeah, that was the story. But anyways, this has been super fun.

Have you not told that story before? No. Because I've heard that story. Yeah, I think I've told you guys. It's amazing. I love that shit. I talked about it on the boys cast. But anyway, so buffet buds to wrap it up.

So JJ's got this show called. By the way, did you see the fucking how I put the buffet in there? Oh, because that was why you said buffet, because you're trying to make that your brand. So JJ's got a show called Buffet Buds, and we call it Buff Gay Duds. For me. No, not Buff Gay Duds.

Not Buff Gay Duds. And then you did the Adamson's Barbecue thing. I think I actually talked about it a little. Oh, did you really? Yeah, but you did one with Adamson's Barbecue, who's like the number one controversial guy, and everyone was like flipping out. In the Canadian restaurant industry, he is...

Not your grandmother's barbecue. Not your grandmother's barbecue. He is definitely not... Because he's opening up the club at a time when you're supposed to lay your business on it. Yeah, I mean, but the thing is, man... He's got the birds up, dude. He literally has the birds up.

And I talk to a lot of these big-time chefs in Canada, and some say, like, this guy's an asshole, has the birds up and I talk to a lot of these like big time chefs in Canada and they're like some who say like this guy's an asshole but others like it's like fuck I mean you all are going out of business yeah he's doing he's you all would have done the same thing if you thought of it or if you're you know not a coward yeah I mean he he literally I mean sure I saw some gym the other day where the guy goes. The gym I manage? Yeah, the gym you manage. Okay.

It's in somewhere, wherever it is. But the guy said, he made one of those videos where you take the paper and it says the words on it. You know what I mean? Like, you know when someone's like, just so you know, I have been, whatever. Like one of those. Like a cancer. Yeah, yeah. He made one of those.

But basically, he said, he goes, we've been opening this. We've not stopped our gym. We will never let people wear a mask. Canada or US? This guy is in the United States. And he says, we've gotten $200,000 worth of fines. Every time we open another day, they give us $10,000 fine. We're packed right now and we're never shutting down again.

And they took our license away and they can fuck themselves or whatever. He goes, more businesses need to do this. More. I think like, I mean, I caught COVID. I told you that. Yeah. It was about three weeks ago and I was cleared this week and it was, it was rough. So I could like see if you had like some underlying issue, how you could get fucked up from that.

Yeah, of course. Like if you have underlying issues, you know, and there's like a super bad flu going around, yeah, don't. But that's the same thing. If there's a super bad flu. You don't want to be out and about. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what to,

I don't know what to do. But anyways, fuck our ideas. So whatever, you got this show. We got this show. We did season one for buffets. We went to about six buffets. And I'll be honest with you,

it didn't do so well. Like, we didn't get a ton of views or anything like that but it was good like it was good it was good enough that we actually kept the same concept of eating a lot of food

and going to restaurants and we shot six and the fucking the first one on Instagram crushed it's brought to you by Wise Guys Entertainment Wise Guys Purgatrio

and when they did Adamson's Barbecue they go hey why are you Bringing so much Heat on the family Trying to keep A low profile

Vito They didn't like the heat But yeah They didn't like the heat So me Mark Anthony Why the fuck You on television

Anyway over here Fucking couple of Chads over here They didn't like All Italian crew Except me But yeah It was me

Mark Anthony Synagoga We shot it It went well And then when's Your special coming out? It's going to come out the... When's this come out?

Friday. Next Friday. I was going to do it January 1st, but it's already done. So I'm going to literally do it that weekend. So release it here. So release it that day. So JJ's special. I'll put the link right here.

Yeah. And where is it going to be released? YouTube.com slash... Just do YouTube. YouTube.com slash what oh JJ Lieberman Jesus you're bad at this god man

I'm legitimately trying so hard to get people to watch this special I don't know it's gonna be on youtube just go to youtube.com if you find it

youtube.com slash what JJ Lieberman my idea is I put it on there and when you go to youtube it just shows up dude I already said this on my on my Patreon so my mom uh My idea is I put it on there, and when you go to YouTube, it just shows up.

Dude, I already said this on my Patreon. So my mom, she messaged me, and she was like, it's really cool. I go to YouTube, and because you're so popular right now, your stuff's all on the front page, but I don't have the heart to tell her that it's based on your recommendations. I'm like, yeah, dude, I'm fucking popular. Based on she's liking it, following it, sharing it, commenting. My son on the front page of YouTube. I go, yeah, you know what it is. We're popping off.

When the waiter recognized me at dinner with my mother, and he said, you're JJ Lieberman? From the bathhouse. Man, the fucking, she embarrassed me in front of him. What did she say? Oh my god, how did you know? Oh no. Dude, I was like, man, come

on. We went to, so we, me and J.J. and Danny Polischuk, when we were in Toronto, we had a guy who was like, we went to this fancy restaurant, because these guys like going to fancy restaurants, and I snuck in vodka because I'm trash. So I was drinking vodka.

In a water bottle. Yeah, so we're at a fancy restaurant. Literally one of the top restaurants in Canada. Michelin star. Yeah, it's not Michelin, but it's that quality. I've got a water bottle full of vodka. Spilling it. So I spill it all over myself, Rika vodka, and then this guy comes over the waiter

and he's like oh i seen you guys i'm like a big fan of your comedy literally said us name by name this was not like i'm i'm like yeah he can smell the vodka and we're like yeah dude we're sick but like it's so obvious i have a water bottle full of vodka on the table i just like this guy wants to be like kick me out the best part was when he offered us drinks and then he goes oh would you guys wanted some free drinks and jj goes we don't drink we go what the he brought us over not doing virgin virgin some whack-ass dessert because you turned down the drink i'm covering vodka at this michelin star restaurant me and my me and my girl went there for my birthday yeah and he was the waiter and like did you bring her back because you knew he recognized him you're like like you knew that

if we go to this spot this guy will be like a fan so it was a nine course meal this was the craziest part for yeah he gave her alcohol a lot of alcohol and for the the dessert part they wrote on the board for the best comedian in tor. Oh, there you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'll make you look cool. Oh, yeah, look cool. Yeah. Like, hey,

that's pretty sick, right? Now can another guy come over? Fuck you. What also made me... Can famous comedian J.J. Lieberman watch his girlfriend get sex with another girl?

Yeah, what also made me look cool is when I had to pay $450 and, you know, I was like, ha, ha, ha. Do you take... Do you guys take food stamps here?

I'm like can I pay half? Yeah well is it possible Can I pay half, come back tomorrow Work as a dishwasher Pay the other half? Yeah is that possible? No tip? Take it out of my salary That's a good play I should have said

Famous comedian Is there no discount? J.J. Lieberman no it's the opposite once you're popular and they recognize you you have to tip like I have that a lot oh I had to tip 25% now yeah you gotta be like big tipper guy cause you know that they're gonna report you it was literally

three something and I'm like dude there's gonna be a site soon for like anyone that has any sort of status that like tips bad and you know who does they're gonna be like a list of like bad tippers. And you get fucked. I'm not famous. Nobody knows me.

But you get fucked from guys like Joe Rogan who tips $200 on a coffee. A lot of these guys have your tip in big. You're fucked. No, anytime I go to a place and they recognize me,

I'm just like, well, that just cost me $20. Oh, yeah. Because I'm, you know, I tip 18%, whatever. Like, you know, what's the going rate? But I don't need to make

a whole thing of it. Yeah. I don't need to make a whole thing of it. I don't need to be like, cuck everyone in the restaurant with my tip. Dude. And then- These people that double the fucking bill. This is the worst part. You tip 20%, which is-

When I go somewhere nice, I'm doing 20% to 25%. Yeah. But you tip 20%, and then someone posts on Instagram, he only tips 20%. They think you're cheap you go this motherfucker they say oh 5 million

6 million 8 million 10 million views they're like but this is not dollars it's fucking views it's a big fucking difference they're waiting for a big tip

yeah you fucking people don't know imagine that you buy an escort right now and they recognize you from the boys cast and you gotta you gotta give them

the dude's ass premium. Anyways. Okay. This has been the boys cast. Check out J.J. Lieberman's special. Super fucking funny. Probably one of the funniest comedians in Toronto. And not your grandmother's comedian. Now Magazine's

top comedian. 2015. He's eventually gonna move to New York with me and Danny Paul he has a visa and check him out patreon.com slash the boys

guys at Cray J Lieberman on Instagram and if you know the Indian doctor give him give him a few hundred bucks peace