The Boyscast with Ryan Long - BEST OF BOYSCAST PATREON MARCH 2023

Episode Date: March 8, 2023

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Well, hello! Huge news. You've been selected to listen to this Patreon best of. Huge selection. Every week we do a bonus episode at patreon.com slash theboyscast and Tony, our producer, has selected some of his favorite clips. We also have a Discord at the Patreon. We also do polls and ask for questions for our guests. But on top of that, when we get to 2,000 patrons,

some of you might know we are doing a manliness competition which will involve fixing IKEA furniture, among other things, with a special guest judge like a documentary reality show and that will be called

Bugman vs. Bugman. Danny being Daniel Bugman. And if you want to see that, among other things, patreon.com slash theboyscast. And here are some of the selected segments of some of our last Patreon exclusive episodes. I'm bisexual and non-binary. But when I came out as polyamorous, I lost some friends who couldn't understand.

My close-minded queer friends questioned my bisexuality, wondering why I didn't get a girlfriend. So she's basically like, listen, I got news for you guys. I'm bisexual. And they go, yay. And they go, I've got more news for you. I'm queer and I'm non-binary.

They go, yay. Amazing. Amazing. She's like a general, an army general, and they're just putting the the medals on you know hitting a new medal on you yes they go and they go there's a new medal and then we got another thing uh even better and she goes i am polyamorous they go we're listening love this

we think we love this and i'm going to be dating another woman and they go or another man and they go what the fuck yeah you're literally a chick who's just banging two guys with all the stolen valor this is stolen valor like i've ever gay people do like the queer non-binary people is all the stolen valor like literally this is crazy so you're like you have all these things you're like you know way out there queer you have all these things. You're like, you know, way out there queer. You have four different flags and you're just a chick married to a guy banging another guy. I've come out dozens of times in the decades. First as bisexual, then as non-binary, later as polyamorous. Every time she comes out of the closet too, right? She probably goes to the baker, the bakery.

They go, what's this week? What are we coming out as this week? What are we coming out as this week? What are we coming out as this week? All right, I'm coming out. She has a coming out of the closet party every time. Probably. She has like a fucking new kink. She has a kink reveal party for the balloons.

I wonder if she does the whole- The thing pops and she goes, I'm polyamorous. You think she does the whole song and dance every time too? She's like crying. She's like, this is so hard. Nobody knows what it's like to have to come out. You're like, this is the 45th time you've come out. And it's three fat people with fucking green hair

and fucking thick rimmed glasses. That is so funny doing a sexuality reveal party where you let the balloon in, then you pop, and it says gay. You're like, I don't even know which one it's going to be. And then, no, what happens is it's a balloon, and then you do the, if it's a girl, one it's going to be. And then, no, what happens is it's a balloon and then you do the, if it's a girl,

if it says that, you do your gender reveal but it's your gender and you're 35 and when it turns out it's a girl, what happens is you breathe it in

and you go, I'm finally myself. You get to breathe in the helium. What the fuck is going on over at Insider? Insider is a fucking nut house.

But it used to be businesses. They're the ones who were fucking taking down Portnoy. This is a a nut house yeah um to some of the people in my life being bisexual is great being by non-binary is fine and being polyamorous is okay as long as you're not dating a man but it's like you're just yeah you're describing uh she wants the best of both worlds where she wants to be able to like hang out with all the like people but she's like she's like well yeah you

want to get your points it's like well then you got to earn your points a little bit what I'm just she like has a kid like she's gonna have kids like imagine her as like a grandma and like he's like you know I grandkids come up and she's like a grand poly non-binary and queer and she's all you're like you're literally just like a matriarch of this giant family and here's a little freak here's some freaky weird you're like you're trying to be like i'm queer and grandma's showing up with her leather again you have 14 great grandkids you know what else is weird they go we've gone to gay dance parties and bisexual social group meeting meetings around town which a lot of those uh they just called danny's uh comedy shows but

when i came out as non-binary, we even went shopping for binders. So basically what happens is you go, I'm not a guy or girl, and there's no changes you make, but you basically tape down your boobs. Yeah, tape down the boobs. Tape down the boobs is so bizarre.

So you basically, your girl, like this guy, he goes, so my girlfriend goes, oh, I just so you know, I'm non-binary. And you go, what does that mean? And he goes, I'm going to tape my boobs. That's it. Just less of a chest. That's what makes a woman. So you basically just tape my boobs that's that's less of a chest but like why that's what makes a woman so you basically just tape your boobs down that's the

stupidest shit ever yeah yeah it's uh it doesn't make a lot of sense it's fucking weird yeah would you be mad if your chick got boob binders uh would i be yeah i don't think that would be be odd when i've been mad i think. Would you get the stupid haircut too? The short haircut? Yeah. The queer community has been very welcoming to me until this polyamorous business and she has a boyfriend and then they're saying, you're not really one of us.

So she's not that welcome in the queer community when she's a married woman that's cheating on her husband with another guy. What exactly is going on here? How queer? How are you queer? How are you queer? I'm cheating on my husband with another guy. queer how are you queer how are you queer yeah i'm cheating on my husband with another guy that's kind of queer that's a little bit queer i thought you became poly so you could date women one friend said what the hell so one of her friends said what the fuck

is this yeah i mean kind of like just people figuring out that you're it's almost like people maybe like using it for some sort of clout yes and it's actually just all a lie these quote-unquote friends didn't even ask if my new boyfriend was transgender yeah you go wait wait wait wait don't you want to know if my boyfriend's transgender or not they go okay is he no no well then well sure but you should have asked and they didn't ask any questions about him at all before deciding i'd made a mistake anyways you're right insiders fucking violent yeah i tried frexting friend texting and stuff got weird real fast yeah and the whole a lot of good things about this one right yeah yeah yeah so she's saying basically the premise of it is a little bit she goes if you put together the words friendship and texting you get frexting frexting is alana livingsons

who wrote for medium a sexy photo you send to a friend as an act of bonding or empowerment it's sexting with a friendly twist. And to start... Definitely something dudes are going to be doing. Oh, you think me and you are ever going to do that? Yeah. How's the piece looking right here? Check that out, bro. I got new underwear.

What do you think? Piece looks good? She's saying... Fuck yeah. Why is it that I only send messages to guys and dudes? There's also a lot of... Some decent amount of girls are just like, I'm not just like constantly sending nudes to dudes.

I know, I know. It's just like such a city ho like look on life it's like what if instead of setting like it well it's not it's not an option at all to just what if i just don't send them yeah she's like well instead of sending to the nudes to the guy i send them to my friend yeah just to see how she thinks about them and then i send them to yeah yeah yeah but yeah yeah for sure then you send them to them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, yeah, for sure. Then you send them to them too. But yeah, a couple of bros just fucking sending the piece out. But even better than that,

it was like, it's also one of those things they'll never realize the fucking ways that it's easier for girls. Like she's like, yeah, I just send my, send some, you know,

friend text out of nudes. Like imagine I really just send a, you know, for every guy at work, just sending girls like hey we just want to be friend okay for anything you should know about me as a friend yeah i'm frantic that's a friend girl's like why are you sending me a picture of your cock you go it's a frext i'm not interested in these i'm not interested that's frext yeah don't don't misread this i know you ladies might do that don't misread my gaping asshole photo with my legs behind your head this

is a frext. Hey, do you mind if I send you some frexts? Well, I'm gonna because we're friends. Hey, I'd rather just be friends. Bloop. How do they come up with these articles? That's a good one, right? Amazing. Friend texting was a

banger. You're sharing intimate photos of your friends without the two cents of some guy because they're your friend and you're sharing intimate photos of your friends without the two cents of some guy because they're your friend and you're getting positive feedback you need it's almost like she admits like yeah i i'll get all of my uh like validation from showing my body to people yes and she was like life hack i can get validation from other people without having to show it to a guy the feedback according to adulting, includes replying to positive emojis.

So the feedback, what you're supposed to do is give people a positive emoji, including but not limited to the little fire, a cat with heart eyes and clapping. So maybe if I send you the dick pic, send me the cat with fire eyes and the heart eyes back. Yeah, the, oh, ooh, God. You sent me a cat with hearts for eyes.

You're intimate, sharing with your friends, and some guy because they're your friend. So I've been on the receiving end of a frext for my friend, Matty, who's a gay guy, and he sent me a sexy photo of himself that he's about to put on Grindr. See, this is like, if I was, I mean, even the fucking fruity French guy

is probably like, hey hey i don't want you to have like male friends that are sending you dick pics like we're married you're a married woman yeah here's a good one uh yeah you can't trust the sorry but like that one point you cannot trust the gay friend man no it's like the number one thing not every single one because there's a few like i knew do okay people that people that are fairly normal and respectful. But that party gay, they're bad news. So she just wakes up and she sends all her friends. She goes, for their gay friends, she goes, I didn't send him emoji,

but I did say you look hot. So you wake up and this is what your chicks do. You're a French guy. You got your fancy pants on. She's wearing a potato sack. She's messaging. She's got gay guys sending her dick pics and she's messaging back. You look hot French guy. You got your fancy pants on. She's literally wearing a potato sack. She's messaging. She's got gay guys sending her dick pics and she's messaging back. You look hot.

Yeah. I texted her a sexy photo in hopes of getting some input on whether or not my, uh, my tits were ready to be sunbathing in Spain nude. Um, and we were going in less than a month. Basically I asked her if I looked good. Well,

she may not have replied with emoji. She was supportive. She also compared my boobs to clouds which also or the so her friend to send her a text back saying your boobs look like clouds yeah on a cloud and i want sunshine on a cloudy day your boobs are like clouds when it's raining well i totally get that exchanging photos between friends is done in a safe zone away from prying eyes of men who might only see us as sexual objects. I mean, you're basically admitting that the only way that you can get anything is being a sexual object or passing judgment based on their unrealistic ideas of what a woman should look like. Didn't feel comfortable to me. So that's why she didn't want to do it to the guy friends.

didn't feel comfortable to me so that's why she didn't want to do it to the guy friends she's like she just she said she had a little bit of a problem sending the friends frex to her guy friends which you think so yeah yeah i mean if any if you ever got a sex from a girl who's friends with you'd be like either this is a mistake or listen to the last sentence of this one ready yeah so he's been sending the sex the frex to amelia and she's not been loving the responses and she goes i also don't think amelia wants me to hit her up with any more sexy frex because at some point things might get weird she goes also the girl i've been sending all these nudes to i don't think she likes it either six fin doms on how the tanking economy affects their jobs wait whoa holy shit i can't swindle these old men for money the best part is they do refer to their fin doming as their job i guess you have to

you do like i mean they probably make more money fin doming than like any nine to five or makes at an entry-level job oh for sure but that's like i feel feel like that could just end. When the economy's booming, though, that must be such a crazy job, because you're like, you're making so much money, just so much disposable income. These dudes are just like, you can, when you're not stressed about money, you're ready to come, and you're ready to spend that money. I will say, at the very least, at least these chicks are hot.

Show me these broads. Let me see. Show us the broads. I mean, they're pretty cute. Bring me the broads. So, as most of us are already having sleepless nights wondering how we're going to cover the extortionist cost of rent. I've never heard rent referred to as extortion. And fin-doming is kind of extortion. Yeah, kind of.

But it says, what if your income relies on the sexual gratification of the person handing the cash over? That would be fin-doms. I think that financial domination is an easy solution to any cash flow. I feel like I almost don't believe, because Danny's a fin dom. I don't know if you know that. Oh, yeah. Who do you make your money from?

I'm a pay pig. A pay pig? He's not the fin dom. Sorry. He has a fin dom. Yeah, I do fin dom stuff. I'm a pay pig. What do you pay them to do?

Well, if by that I mean my girlfriend. She's milking you for all your worth pretty much yeah no but there is like i it's almost one of those things where you're like i don't really believe that there is a lot of these guys that just love spending all their money as much as they probably just like this is the system yeah you have to pretend that oh i'm getting off on you getting the money yeah but then you get laid at some point. Some of them don't, though, I feel like, right? Yeah.

Well, I think true Fyndom stuff is like you don't ever meet. You never even meet these people. Yeah, because I guess if it was that. Yo, Karen Fian was showing me that. She's like legitimately has guys that will be like, just send her all these messages, and she just writes back send, and then they just send her money. Really? Uh-huh.

Wow. Just to talk to her, yeah. Just to get to talk to her she only says send the only thing she replies them is send and then and then honestly i bet if it's like the number is too low like she's probably like yeah you're not gonna hear from me that was like a slap in the face i'm not gonna tell you 50 bucks is like literally a slap in the face yeah no no she's probably used to getting thousands oh for sure no i think it's in the 50 range I think that's kind of what she gets when she hits her send things. Okay. That's insane.

That's still like if you're doing that, you do four days, doing bucks a day. I sort of was saying that though. I'm just like, why do you do that? And she was like, well, it's funny. Like she was saying that. And then like you see the Venmo come in. Yeah. You're like, yeah, you stupid cuck.

Send. It's very, it's like she's the, it's like, that is funny though. Like it's, it's the equivalent of the girls telling the guys to send money is the equivalent of the, like it's a guy being like, show boobs. Yeah. Send. Yeah. Bob's in Virginia.

Show Bob's in Virginia. Send first. They're both communicating like that. Yeah, dude. I mean, it's a show Bob's if send. It's a simple system we all understand that's it okay tell me about the fin doms fin doming is more nuanced and complicated than meets the eye it's not and relying on people to willingly give you lump sums of money often totaling hundreds if

not thousands in this economy in a world slumping towards a global recession with like with any job the cost of living crisis is affecting fin doms too just not in the ways you might think uh and then what do you mean not in the way i feel like i affects me it would be exact how is this possibly not going to be in the ways that i think so here's here's one that's it yeah what is this i do apologize i haven't read this in advance in which way do i not think is this happening just i think it would be just a strict monetary there There's less money coming in. But it says, so this girl, her name is Vicky Vale. It says, how did you start fin-domming online?

That is so funny. Sorry to interrupt. That is so funny, the idea that the guy's like, yeah, I just, a little less hot for me to be giving you this money now that I'm broke. You're like, remember that thing where you sent me $1,000? Like, I don't, yeah, and you used to need to send a thousand to get turned on i think 700 before i do it now for me my financial situation's so much worse i'm like i think i think i can probably get hired up for

hundo now sounds like fucking photos of your like bank statements she's like that's not doing anything for me though it's pretty good pretty good it goes through individual one vindoms uh well well i don't know if this one says this chick she goes i started on the more vanilla side of only fans but it wasn't exciting me uh so she goes this is quite interesting maybe i could do this about fin doming i go obviously yeah well you do nothing spend a guy's money you know there's something about this interests me and they go are people still willing to pay for findom she goes people are still willing to pay but they're willing to pay but are they willing to pay as much as they used to that's another question entirely this whole

article is just the guys the chumps have less money yeah she goes the economy's bad and that's where the money came from is kind of is like probably pretty tightly correlated yeah that is pretty funny though if you could make like inflation and high taxes and all that stuff. Like, you know, you're basically saying like Biden raising taxes is bad for sex workers. Sort of put them in that bind. Also, most of the guys

who are probably spending money on this kind of shit are dudes who are like, have an insane amount of money to throw around. And like money gets tight and then their wife starts, okay, we got to manage

our spending a little bit. And she's like, who are you sending $5,000 to? And you go well my bookie i guess yeah no no it was just uh i needed repairs on the car five thousand dollar repairs on the car my friend dom in the phone is dom yeah i don't know basically that's her whole thing just reading through this and she goes yeah the economy's not doing well the cost of living is kind of uh getting tighter or whatever so there's just less money coming in anyway jude yeah yeah for everybody you might have to start working at mcdonald's sweetheart no one's gonna pay for your shit no more that is rough to have

to go from your fin doming life it's kind of like they're getting finned on by the economy joe biden's the original yeah joe biden's like the irs king fin dom yeah they're getting finned on by the economy. Joe Biden's the original. Yeah, Joe Biden's like the king finned on. Yeah, they're like. Yo, the IRS is so full of finnedoms. Guess what you owe me, baby? Yeah, if you don't pay it, you're going to jail. Yeah, give me 50 fucking grand right now. You get nothing in return.

You owe me that the whole time. The IRS is a bunch of fin dumps. This is crazy, though. It says, why do you think your contracted payments have gone down slightly this year? It says, in an average year, my contracts amount to $80,000, but this year they're nearer to 50 to 60. Contracts. Fin subs who do contracts are numerically minded and are more financially cautious, hence why it's contracted. They like to feel in debt and want to keep it up long term rather than a singular rush they will eventually regret jesus christ and there's

nothing they get out of it they just straight up send the money that's the whole thing the money and then the yeah that's a job this hot chick's fucking you over is like get some this is legitimately the dude version of i want to be a pie taster. You go, what's the job that I want to do? It's like, I'd love this job where just guys send me money and I do nothing for them. And you go, that's crazy. It exists. There's got to be a saturated market, girls. I want to be finned on. Oh, everybody does.

You just sit around to get sent money. That is the dream. I think they're all OnlyFans chicks. I think it's like, for the sound of it, this girl, she is on OnlyFans, and then she says like one out of every hundred guys wants to be like a fin dom, but she's still doing all the other stuff. Why wouldn't, oh, you're saying you rarely

fuck, okay. Yeah, yeah. She's not a girl being like I'm a fin dom, just letting you know. That's all I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can't find it. No, no, no. They're all like doing everything, and then. What would be the way to rope in a guy who's like how do you pitch yourself out? No, no, he approaches you no no he's just like hey he's like hey would you be open to me sending you money and she goes i'll

think about it trying to financially cripple myself because it's hot yeah sure all right fat phobia sucks especially when you're trying to have a baby this one we were going to talk about last week but but, uh, there's, there's just, it was like the classic one where she said like, think saying things where you're just like, did that doctor say that though? Years ago, I was at my gynecologist for a checkup and she told me totally out of the blue that I would never get pregnant in my current state. That was the word she used my state.

And she says it very big. Is that a thing that it's hard to get pregnant when you're big? Cause I see a lot of fat women walking around with kids uh well i think they're fat post kids well these women were fat pre-kid too but i think yeah generally i mean it destroys your body so there's that okay there's many women uh walking around with kids that are 350 pounds and i promise you they're like minimum 330 yeah yeah they're probably like three hondo yeah you're right this added to the problem as this girl wasn't a rail before the kid no imagine you did see that good the girl they got pregnant

and you saw her after like legitimately like it was 120 now she's like 350 100 that happens for not to three-fifth i guarantee you there are from buck man you've never seen photos where it's like some girls like like some grow and go look at me when i was like in high school like when you know they're 50 and they're like look at me and they're like oh shit i can't really think of that many now i'm not i don't know them personally but you just like see them on where on your website on my stories when you're watching your programs on my programs before and after so apparently the fertility levels are a little harder When you're watching your programs. On my programs. Before and after. Yes. So apparently the fertility levels are a little harder when you're bigger. Yeah.

And again, they say this stuff and they go, oh, like, yes, that doctor takes all women who look like you and then they take all the data and they go, yes, technically it will be harder. It might not be harder for you. Yeah. Especially you're probably there because you're having trouble getting pregnant too yeah your weight's probably a factor what it's like didn't you come here for me to tell you what the issue i'm a nutritionist i don't even know why you're here yeah i don't know what happens but like maybe the baby doesn't get any food or something

because like you're too busy eating it a second time you're bought chewing your own cud your body's eating it a second time yeah i don't i'm sure there's you know just whatever health health issues that come up so my gynecologist forbade me to getting pregnant and she said to me that i would and i'm quoting her here that it would be irresponsible for me to do so so apparently uh the doctor said it'd be irresponsible for like a really fat person to get pregnant like everyone i spoke to she preferred not to share her last name for privacy reasons. Another person said her experience points to an unfortunate truth. As a fat person, it can be difficult to trust your doctor to give you medical advice.

Who do you trust then? Who do you trust? Who do you trust them who do you just who do you who who i think what happens is you just have to trust the blogs the blogs you trust mama mia mama mia's got your back yeah this is vice but you have yeah you basically i guess you should like you have like a blog that's like yes you can get pregnant and you just sort of get to read it and think it i guess and then i i guess you could always like if it doesn't work out for you you can just there's always blame to you blame the doctors it's kind of like uh yeah like how the girl advice it says like know your worth yeah what that really means is lie to yourself about what your worth is yes absolutely because when people say do not actually find out

what you're worth there's no scenario where they say no your worth and then the girl starts like dating a guy and then he's like this billionaire and she's not that hot and he breaks up with her and it's like yo baby you just got to know your worth and she's like you're right i am worse than him like like when they say no you're worth they mean like well like lie to yourself that you're worth higher than it is yes because whatever you think continue to think that forever the world is constantly telling you what your worth is there's so many quantifiable things about like what your value is and then you're right these days it's not that hard to know your actual worth no no i don't think people like the calculation being done though

no just go you i'm sure there's a formula like you know your education your well there won't be a baby your assets the likes you get on thirst traps like all that stuff added up uh-huh so what do we know about scientifically about fertility and fat people on average studies have shown fertility decreases as body mass index increases particularly over 30 higher bmi is also connected to they hate bmi that's always getting rid of bmi nobody Nobody likes the BMIs. I mean, it's not the best measurement. I'll tell you what. You know what else decreases with your higher BMIs?

Your chance of a guy with a BMW. Got him. And with a lower effectiveness of IVF. However, these statements are often misconstrued to mean that all people, that's always their argument, always their argument against BMI is like, well, yeah, but there's like this one person. Yeah, they always take Zion Williamson

or whatever. Yeah, Zion Williamson's BMI is 35, so obviously this whole thing is imperfect. And you go, no, it's pretty accurate for 98% of all people as a general guideline, which is all it is because she's sort of saying like well for some people the bmi and she's like yeah and you're not one of them it's like yeah the rocks bmi is pretty high yeah yeah you don't look like the rock you're heavier

than the rock you look like a rock you look like a rock it's kind of the problem you look like a rock it's kind of the problem you look like a rock yeah the bmi is imperfect and then they go and can and conceiving is just the beginning of the story as discrimination and humiliation follows fat people through their pregnant their pregnancy don't forget when you're pregnant you need to eat for two a a gynecologist told Celine, adding she was astounded Celine's fiance wanted to marry her at all. Okay, no, she didn't say that.

No, I know. That's the thing. You sure, bro? You sure you're going to marry this? They always added these things where you go, didn't happen. You sure you're going to marry this boulder and chain? That was actually, remember we covered...

We talked about a few of these guys. Remember we covered the woman at the restaurant? then the guy was like that waiter was like oh your food or whatever and someone messaged me after that and they were like yeah this is not fake but they're like definitely some of it's embellished definitely embellished because she all these details which i guess we just missed but she was saying like oh this happened but then it seemed like it happened in like europe and like all these things you know like cat and a lot of times like yeah maybe like something happened but then you embellished like it so much yeah he said you're gonna be eating you have to eat for two tonight and then ask the husband if he was sure that he

wanted to marry her fuck off sure you want to marry this fat pig a quote another follower of mine told her obstetrician so that's a lot of times how they make these articles is they ask for people to send them things on twitter told her obstetrician he was hurting her during a visit only for him to reply i can't see anything with all that fat of yours that's a funny being that does suck to be a gynecologist and a big one walks by i mean all of a sudden you just hear a thing and you go the door frame just got like bumped on both sides and you oh boy yeah this is that's the dirty part of the job you know what i think we're gonna bring the uh first day you're in here and you go you know the intern you know

i think you're ready yeah grab on your fucking hard helmet and your lamp honestly you've been working really hard i think you're ready to try one out i'm over here i mean maybe that's the dark side of being a guy now yeah guy knows i mean it's a funny job or whatever you're like sick when you're 13 every 13 year old boy's like yeah guy no and then every like male like adult guy was like dude i have seen some shit in the vagina literally in the vagina don't forget when you're pregnant you need to eat for two the same thing happened to diane so diane let's see what happened here my whole pregnancy people bugged me about my way they said i'd get

gestational diabetes that's funny they were saying everyone was razzing her like her family being like if you don't stop eating you're gonna get diabetes she goes they're always yeah they're bugging me it's like they want you to call that bugging well it sounds like what she was saying is i don't even know if that's possible gestational diabetes is that like where you give the baby diabetes oh that's no good you don't want that you don't want that that's what happened to deanne and then they said uh they then forced me to induce early so that the baby wouldn't be born too fat full term all because i guess the baby's in there eating your like food and you're just like yeah for sure yeah that that makes sense but then i guess there isn't the whole thing where like

women who are pregnant they just eat like non-stop and then yeah so i don't know about all that where you go you need to induce early but maybe that was weird since the baby wasn't ready they had to do a c-section i mean and then she goes their fat phobia almost killed us i mean is there either is or isn't um uh any truth to the idea that the baby that because if there is truth then what but if there's no truth it seems unlikely the doctor goes we're gonna do a premature birth because if we give that baby another month it's gonna be fucking fat like yeah yeah no way well this is the mother load right now we've gone a few a few a few times when places say

they give their list of stuff you have to say differently this one is the most out of control so the main considerations addict you're not supposed to say purse you're supposed to say is person with substance or disorder Person with substance use disorder. Do you think you say that he goes you're like, ah, he's a bit of a person with substitute You know, I fucking person. It's just so funny though If they I always say it's like if you want to replace a word give them a better word They want to replace one word with seven words like a sentence using a First-person language makes them not defined by it So it's addicted you should say devoted which that one was probably my favorite when you go guys a bit devoted to crack

I Guess you could say that though. You're not like devoted to say like like as much as Trivialize this and I don't know if that's a word are you're allowed to use but uh if trivialize is okay we don't know we'll get there we'll find out yeah we'll find out but like this took a lot of effort to put this so much this was someone's someone got paid 200 grand a year way more than one person this is like multiple people yeah this was a lot of money went into this bullshit just proving the universities have way too much money

and they cost too much money not enough to do so instead of addicted devoted was probably my favorite just being like yeah the guy's a little bit of a devoted to pussy instead of a sex addict he's devoted to crack cocaine yeah devoted to alcohol so basket case i already mentioned this on the main episode when we did that originally referred to one who's lost all four limbs and therefore need to be carried around in a basket. Do you want to know what they replaced basket case with? Say that they're nervous. See if someone's,

if like you have a, if you're dating, it's like a, yeah. Cause you'd be like, you have a friend that's like, he got in a bar fight. He shows up,

he's yelling and screaming on the case. You go, yeah, he's a bit of a nervous, a bit of nervous. The thing is, it's like if, if some of these etymologies

or some of these words are so far removed from society, you're like, there's no people who are lost off four limbs who are being carried around in a basket anymore. Yeah, and if they are,

that's not a slur to them saying basket cares. But there's like, so who are we protecting with this? Like, who are they protecting? Like, just the people who this happened to in the Middle Ages?

Yeah, we all know. It's like the person that you just like to be careful with. That guy's a bit of a basket case. You go, that also was. This is for crazy women. If you went to them and you go, just be careful with that chick. She's a bit nervous.

And you go, oh, okay. You would literally have the wrong information. Yeah. You're going to say she's crazy. But you're not saying that is. But for all the amount of money that went into this, you think that they could have found out better synonyms. That's all I'm saying. Yeah.

So, basket case is nervous nervous blind review is anonymous review and it unintentionally perpetuates the disability is somehow abnormal or negative that's always my favorite thing they go somehow perpetuates the disability is somehow abnormal or negative and you go it is both objectively abnormal and negative yeah you go if someone's blind that's not negative and you go do you think there's a single blind person in the world who would be like yeah yeah yeah you go oh that's uh negative that you're blind it's actually better except for the superhero they're conflating like the whole thing of like yeah we shouldn't nobody's saying we should punish them for it yeah like it's not negative in that sense where you should be like it negatively shouldn't be treated negatively yeah it is objective anything i think anyone would be like if a disabled person came in you go yeah

you'd probably treat them nicer and not all do you need anything yeah but you're like to say that it's not worse to be blind you're going i'm pretty sure it's worse to be blind pal so that was a blind review it literally is the blind review is to describe something because anonymous review would be like it's anonymously you but isn't blind review when you like a blind taste test for example it's like that means your eyes aren't you don't have your eyes yeah you don't have your eyes well you yeah you don't know blind study they want masked study committed suicide so you don't want to say committed suicide you want to say died by suicide because this trivializes the experience of people living

with mental health condition but how but he did commit suicide yeah he did well they just want to say commit why oh oh i didn't even see that because just because this person's oh yeah yeah i guess because some people are committed and they can't help it so there might be some basket case that's committed he's committed but he goes just because i'm committed doesn't mean there's something wrong with being committed there's nothing wrong with being committed to an asylum no there's not oh yeah what you're thinking that there's somehow something wrong with me just because i've been committed to an insane asylum imagine trying to like just change there's something abnormal about being committed to an how would you possibly even uh apply all of these to a person like how would you change everything you know about if you say they're

confined to a wheelchair you say they're a person who uses a wheelchair he's a guy he's a person who uses a wheelchair because it helps define people not just by one of their characteristics so he's a person who uses a wheelchair you can't even call something like a walk-in clinic they don't want walk-in clinic no it's a drop-in why oh because some people don't walk in there walk ryan some people walk, Ryan. Some people don't walk. How's stand-up comedy not on here? Oh, they must have stand-up comedy on here. Crazy they don't like,

you should say, instead of saying they're crazy, you should say they're surprising. So to her, like if a chick, you go, she's a little bit surprising. Let's just say

she's nervous and surprising. Nervous and surprising and wild. She's a little bit of a nervous, surprising woman. Let's just put it of a nervous, surprising woman. Let's just put it that way. To use the language you'd want me to use,

let's just leave it at that. She's nervous and surprising. Yeah. A cripple, you say personal with disability. I don't think a lot of people say they're a cripple, but crippled, you say they're impaired or weakened. He's weakened. You don't want to say dumb.

You say non-vocal or non-verbal well yeah no one what are you fucking non-vocal bud just doesn't have the right ring to it but yeah also people don't use not dumb to describe someone that can't speak anymore that's old school it was once described a person who can't speak so if someone's dumb you say they're non-verbal handicap parking you say acceptable parking say they're non-verbal handicap harping you say acceptable parking because they're not handicapped insane no handicap they like surprising and wild because insane you also say surprising and wild let's just say she's both surprising wild surprising wild so now surprising and wild means insane and crazy yeah what's a scenario where you'd be calling

someone insane where you say they're surprising and wild let's just say she's a little and surprising and wild in the memory surprising in the memory surprising wild and the membrane wild in the brain lame they don't like we already covered that in a million things mentally ill OCD you say they're detail oriented so sort of a positive spin on that is a very positive spin yeah the guy's so detail oriented he can't ever leave his house just because his detail oriented nature that guy's so fucking detail oriented every time he goes home he has to organize all these things alphabetically and then unorganized ruined his whole life

yeah he needs to so detail or he's, every time before he finishes playing basketball, he needs to, you know, touch the rim 45 times. Then he actually brushes his teeth 14 times before he goes to sleep because he's so detail-oriented. Yeah, very detail-oriented. Paraplegic, you say person with a spinal cord injury. So they like person with the thing instead of the thing.

Yeah, yeah. That's a big one. Instead of retard. Okay, ready with what so this is a comedy because a lot of people say in comedy yeah ready what they so they go what is this that guy person with cognitive disability person with autism neurodivergent person that doesn't have the same ring too yeah so they want you to say he's boring or uncool i'm not really a synonym yeah that's a funny one though instead of saying like what are

you fucking boring or uncool yeah what are you uncool are you fucking uncool what are you some kind of uncool person what are you boring they like i'll just be so much to figure out there's some really good ones you need like someone i think their their goal is to get someone in every office who's just kind of like snoops around everywhere and just kind of that's a good one no corrects people like because you have a professional snoop at every office just to correct yourself on this is going to take so long

sanity check confidence check or coherence check or fact check so if you say a guy needs a sanity check what you really need to say he needs a confidence check none of these are good synonyms spaz you should say they're clumsy but that's not why you use spaz stand up meeting that's you already said quick meeting a walk-in's a drop-in wheelchair bound so that's ableism so ableism is a big one so ageism is the next one so this one was funny they don't want you to call someone a

gray beard okay have you ever seen that calling someone a gray do you know how that you're yeah i'm here yeah i'm just bouncing around uh yeah i know gray beard i've heard it i don't know it seems like not a slur i get they're saying gray beard was apparently for old people have you called someone a gray beard never so they're big on that they go it calls out older people so if you go you're cyber bullying someone by calling them a gray beard so just use their name instead and you go yeah i'm purposely notying someone by calling them a gray beard. So just use their name instead. And you go, yeah, I'm purposely not using their name. Ageism getting in on the action is pretty funny, though. Well, they have to, right?

So colonialism won. They only have one for colonialism. Which makes no sense. It makes no sense, right? I feel like all they do is harp about colonialism. And they said, Philippines of the Republic. Instead of saying the Philippine Islands, you need to say Philippines or the Republic instead of saying the Philippine Islands you need to say Philippines or the Republic of Philippines so that's

that's all they have in the colonialism section which I'm surprised they couldn't come up with more colonialism I bet you their boss was sort of surprised when they said the colonial section and they go obviously this is going to be a mother load you know what let me let me sit down no you can't say mother load yeah yeah yeah yeah this is going to be a bit of a you know

obviously we got some time here because you're about to do the colonial section i'll go to go to the bathroom they come back all i have is republican philippines instead of philippine island okay so you had the only colonizing that's been done you had one year to come up with colonial things that were bad and that's the only one you came up with but you can't fire anybody in these jobs oh you can never can't say fire these are life positions that you get appointed to, I think. Brave, they do not like. And that's because... But it was brave so weird because it's a positive one.

Yeah, but it perpetuates the stereotype of the noble, courageous savage, which is like, I feel like not... Bury the hatchet. So it's just a bunch of Indian ones. Geronimo. So if you're jumping off a thing you don't say geronimo but what would they say um they don't like you calling chief hey

what's up chief no good for chief so instead of geronimo um this is what they say none only used when discussing the historical figure so how about this when you're jumping off you go none historical figure so how about this when you're jumping off you go none so that's only yeah he's got none none only when you're discussing a historical figure diving board they're not really that's the best when they just take one away and they don't give you a new one yeah i think you have to think of like uh you have to say like a a person that was uh not uh that was courageous not brave from america like you have to say christopher columbus i don't think so right so they abraham lincoln maybe something like that you said when you're jumping off a bridge you say anthony fauci that's what it is guru is not good

because uh the buddhist and hindu traditions the word is a sign of respect so this casually negates the original value so they're saying because basically when you're saying someone's like a guru they're like he's not an actual like dawned upon guru well yeah it's not like the definition guru that would be the funniest thing oh this guy's like a guru when it comes to computer and you go who made him a guru and you go what is he an actual guru well then don't say that and you go can we get a check please i'm going to dinner with anthony cuomo so funny because some of them are like so vague and then some of them are like yeah you're not supposed to say too many chiefs not enough indians don't say that much low man on the totem pole they go he's lacking seniority on the warpath

so whatever there's none of the none of the things you can't say tribe though jews like to say tribal pocahontas that one's very specific and say tribe, though. Jews like to say tribe a lot. Pocahontas, that one's very specific. And black Hebrew Israelites like to say tribe a lot. Powwow, spirit animal. But they were all good sayings. Yeah. It's so crazy that they...

Well, think about the bloodshed that was needed to have these sayings. Do you think that a lot of Native people hate these sayings? No. I feel like... I think this is all ridiculous. Okay, tribal knowledge.

So the colonialism has nothing and the Native has like a hundred percent so you can't say tribe like find your tribe or whatever they must hate that book friends networks family support systems yeah so that's gender-based here we go those are always my least favorite when they're just like no native stuff they could just say at the top no native stuff yeah no native stuff chief i'll tell you what chief you're not gonna say any more native stuff all right i love that you can't say preferred that's actually so you can't say preferred pronouns you have to say pronouns yeah because which is funny well they go the word preferred suggests that non-binary gender identity is a choice and a preference but like they've been saying sexual preference forever

gender identity is a choice and a preference but like they've been saying sexual preference forever okay so yeah right and then i guess i don't know balls to the wall so they don't like anything with the word balls and no that's a big stuff that they don't like they at least they're somewhat um consistent where they say you can't say chair man or chair woman well here's funny with balls to the wall though they said it attributes personality traits to your anatomy but it's like that's like there is a fact that men have more testosterone so it's like their their thing in there they graze over that you go balls of the wall it's like that says that you know men have somehow more risk-taking behavior and you're just like that's true and they go it's not and you go you're a university you're a university telling me that they don't like balls you can't say hermaphrodite men have university telling me that there's no... Yeah, they don't like balls.

You can't say hermaphrodite. Men have riskier behavior. That's a fact. Hermaphrodite just became intersex. Chairman and chairman. But here's the thing. They say this term has historically been used as a slur against LGBTQ plus people.

So you go, okay, so we're going to start making intersex a slur. How does that sound? Yeah, how about that? And then you go, what now? Now what? What are you going to do? Back to hermaphrodite, I guess.

You can't say ladies. What does it say? Why you can't say ladies? It says use everyone instead. Hey, everyone. Well, because not everybody's a lady, even if you think it's ladies. Even ladies and gentlemen does not cover everybody. That's Def Jam comedy right now.

It's like, fellas, fellas, fellas. Now all the fellas in the place, put your hands up. Now all the everyone also put your hands up. Everyone minus in the place put your hands up now all the everyone Also put your hands up everyone minus the fellas put your hands Here's another one everyone who's not a fella put your hand not allowed to say landlord or landlady Where's that next one you're instead you're supposed to say money-grubbing Jew