The Boyscast with Ryan Long - Bill Belichick's Golddigger Girlfriend Needs to be Stopped! Fake Lesbians & Canadian Elections

Episode Date: May 2, 2025

Liberal candidate Mark Carney wins the Canadian election, Bill Belichick is whipped by his 20-something girlfriend, and JoJo Siwa flips the script SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! Prizepicks - Go to https://prizepicks.com and use code BOYSCAST to get $50 instantly when you play a $5 lineup AG1 - Go to https://drinkag1.com/boyscast to get a free welcome kit, bottle of vitamin D3K2, and 5 AG1 travel packs Marek Health - Go to https://marekhealth.com and use promo code BOYSCAST at checkout for 10% off SUPPORT THE BOYS PATREON.COM/THEBOYSCAST  RYAN ON TOUR: Atlanta: April 25/26, Calgary: May 2-3, Uncasville: May 8-10, San Diego: June 20-22, Tulsa: July 31-Aug2, Appleton: Sept 19/20 Columbus: Sept 26, Cincinnati: Sept 27, Cleveland: Sept 28, Baltimore: oct 3-5 ryanlongcomedy.com dannycomedy.com SUPPORT THE BOYSCAST:  https://www.patreon.com/theboyscast http://ryanlongcomedy.com Ryan @ryanlongcomedy To advertise on this podcast please email: [e-mail]    Or go to: https://advertising.libsyn.com/BOYSCAST   Chapters:   00:00 - Chasing Jojo 01:24 - Intro 1:49 - Danny Boy & the Houston Bears 2:44 - Danny versus Gorilla 5:42 - Canadian election 15:10 - Heaphone dodgers 17:09 - Meme refugees 20:37 - Democrats are friggin swearing now 24:09 - Jojo Siwa flipped 29:30 - AD - Prizepicks - Go to https://prizepicks.com and use code BOYSCAST to get $50 instantly when you play a $5 lineup 31:18 - AD - AG1 - Go to https://drinkag1.com/boyscast to get a free welcome kit, bottle of vitamin D3K2, and 5 AG1 travel packs 33:39 - Suno creating hateful AI songs 41:40 - Ryan’s movie corner - Conclave 54:10 - Danny’s gay rap 55:26 - Bill Belichick 1:06:08 - AD - Marek Health - Go to https://marekhealth.com and use promo code BOYSCAST at checkout for 10% off 1:08:27 - Trump’s first 100 days 1:10:05 - Marcus Aurelius 1:18:14 - VA Speakeasy for banned books 1:21:59 - Deniro’s fam 1:24:33 - I left my husband for chatgpt 1:31:10 - New Term: “Body Roundness Index” 1:32:00 - Mike & Molly

I'm sure you've heard by now that Jojo Siwa announced on Big Brother she isn't a lesbian anymore. Yes. Proving what I've been saying forever, that lesbians can be flipped, contrary to what the friends of lesbians you're hitting on may tell you. It's very vindicating. Just the other day, I received backlash for trying to flip a woman that told me she's a lesbian at my company party. What?

Naturally, I hit her with challenge accepted, told her we have a lot in common as we're both clam hounds, and if she's had enough taco, we got sausage on the menu before pointing to my crotch. I was then written up by coworkers who insisted that's not how being a lesbian works. Well, I bet those coworkers feel really stupid now. As should the bouncer who kicked me out of a lesbian bar for telling one of them she was too pale from the lack of vitamin D before pointing to my crotch. As one does. And saying you've tried the lock, why not try the key?

Classic line. Well, the bouncer didn't think so because even after I explained to her that women can't know if they like something until they tried it, I was escorted off the premises violently completely ripping my lesbian slayer shirt with a pair of scissors crossed out. Let me ask you a question. When she said she's a lesbian, did you ask her to prove it? First thing I said.

I also made it very clear she wouldn't have to leave her girlfriend because I'd be more than willing to take both of them at the same time. Just checking, because that is a real win-win question. If they do prove it, nice, and if they choose not to, then you know that they're still flippable. That said, I'll be holding my breath on the apology I should be receiving from that bouncer who insisted I should stop offering women mustache rides, even though we now know there was a very high possibility of her taking one the boys Here he comes, the best of the best. Boys, cast. Boys, boys, boys, boys, boys, boys, boys, boys, boys.

You already know. Danny Poloshuk. Some of you might be wondering, what is this guy wearing? What am I wearing? An official Daniel Poloshuk Houston Bears jersey. Yes, it says Danny Boy on the back. This was given to me at a show. Shout out. By the way, they didn't give one to me They came up to me and they're like

Oh, we have a gift And I was like, can they go for Danny? I go, okay, well Thank you It was a husband and wife And they said, give this to Danny Houston Bears, Danny Boy jersey Pink for the audio

I just got to remember to take this off Before I hit the streets of New York. They won't know, though. This guy loves women's sports. Yeah, this guy just loves sports, man. I guess it would have been fun. The thing would be to make it look like an actual sports thing. Sure, like a jersey or something.

But they were at a fancy boy thing. Have you seen the thing where it's, would 100 men beat a gorilla? Sure. That's what I was thinking. If you were one of the men, potentially, because it was like, you and your 99 boys, boys wait you go jack off the gorilla to completion pacify him a bit pacify him for a while yeah then he's just like you leave danny in the cage because it's actually not a

hundred it's like if you have a hundred men if you have danny there with he's got his two hands his mouth probably your feet so you actually have like a. It's like the power of six men jerking off the gorilla. I'm not that flexible, though. I don't think I can get my feet, hands, and mouth. I think the gorilla get your legs behind your head. When the gorilla was doing work. She'd show up in that Houston Bears thing. That gorilla would use me like that video of the frog.

Remember the video of the frog with those kids at the zoo And the monkey just face fucks a frog to death I think that would be you So it would be me And then afterwards the gorilla would go And then me and my other 98 boys Could show up and throw rock on his head Yeah just get him Just a huge like stomp

On the neck of the gorilla Yeah the question is would that be effective Would the stomp be We'd all have to jump out I think but this point you don Would it stop on the neck? I don't know. They're pretty small. We'd all have to jump out. I think, but this point, you don't understand. The thing's so satisfied, it doesn't even want to move. I know, I know, I know.

Like, he's like, he knows there's an annoyance there, but the gorilla's just been fucking. Yeah, yeah. He's been jacked off nine times. He's so emptied out of season, he doesn't know what to do. Yeah, I know. He's just, he's got the itis. Yeah, gorilla's got itis. He's just sitting there, just been like, I've never come that far.

Honestly, it actually might be the thing. You know how humans, if you bust 25 times in a day, it might be problematic? Yeah. I think that's what happens. We send Danny in there. He busts 35 times a day. Done. Done.

So you think that's thinking outside the box, right? All these people are like, okay, oh, I'll go on the front lines. This will go on this. What actually happens danny goes up there presents himself in the houston bears shirt pants off donald duck style butt up in the air okay now i have a question um assuming that like doesn't work and that gorilla just tears me apart do you guys still after seeing me literally ripped limb from limb do you guys still have to go in after seeing that i think we send another boy to give it a second try. And then he gets ripped. Just absolutely just ripped apart.

Well, we have to send a better looking boy. Because that might have been the problem. What if that girl is not gay? Well, that's the thing. We have to put a wig on one of the boys. He's not into that body shit, okay? Well, we put a wig on you when you go in. So it thinks it's a girl.

Do I have to shave the beard? Hello! Oh, hello! Dude, no one Bugs Bunny kind of walks in. That's you. And then you kind of walk in, and you've got fake tits and stuff like that. Yes, then the gorilla sees you, makes eye contact. I actually think that would be up to you.

You have to put lipstick on the whole thing. And then after you've made the gorilla fucking finish 85 times the completion, gorilla's so done. Anyways, that's my plan. Yeah, that's how it works. Okay. Alberta, me and Danny will both be in Alberta.

I will be in Calgary. Danny will be in Edmonton. The great sovereign nation of Alberta. For the American listeners who are really under a rock, they just had the Canadian election. Yeah, they just had the Canadian election. Yeah, they just had the Canadian election. And the secession movement has already been popping. Dude, the premier of Alberta, literally yesterday,

she tabled this new bill. And it had all these things in it. She called it the election reform thing, where it's all these new election reforms. And then just kind of buried in it was basically the framework for Alberta leaving Canadaada what do they need to like put together like a sovereign wealth fund where they no no no i mean dude they have unlimited money they have the i think the third largest oil deposit in the world right it's like that's

like you're saudi arabia at that point like you have unlimited funds right so no basically the way it used to work for a referendum is you needed, I believe, 20% of all voting age Albertans. And then she changed it to get a referendum happening. She changed it. You only need 10% of all people who voted in the last election. So it's like, I think it's 700,000. To what? What do you get if you get that?

Sorry, no, no, no. It's not 700,000. To what? What do you get if you get that? No, no, no. It's not 700,000. To basically get a referendum. Oh, to get a referendum. To get the referendum on the ballot so that people can now vote to leave Canada. Yeah, the Berta boys probably are the least happy about this situation. But I just want to say. They are.

If you. They're not happy. I'm sure a lot of people have thoughts of Carney and most of it was Trump related. But it's like, Pierre-Paullievra ran maybe the worst. He was put on a clinic of how to... He made Kamala Harris look like a fucking... I know. The clinic of a lifetime.

I know. The guy's like a pussy. Yep. It was a cowardly clown show. Uh-huh. I was literally watching that. I mean, I'll give him this. I give him nothing.

He got painted into this crazy corner after the Trump 51st state stuff, where he literally is like, I can't do a single thing that ties me to Trump. That's my theory on why he- Well, they do something. Like why he didn't do any podcasts or anything, because he goes, that's what Trump did. Yes, but that is the most Canadian shit that I've ever- It's fearful. It's fear-driven.

That's what Trump said. Yes, but that is the most Canadian shit that I've ever... It's fearful. It's fear-driven. Like, the truth is, if you're going to be in politics, like, basically, the narrative... Yes, what you're describing is the narrative swung away from him. And he was going to rebrand a little bit and figure out what he's going to say.

Instead of doing that, he fucking closed his garage and just, like, sat in there smoking cigarettes. Yeah, he did the Biden thing. He goes, what if I just hang out in the basement? Buddy. And it was like, you know, like, Nelk Boys, PBD. All these podcasts were, like, they'd have him on. and just sat in there smoking cigarettes. He did the Biden thing. He goes, what if I just hang out in the basement? Buddy. And it was like Nelk Boys, PBD, all these podcasts where they'd have him on.

And in his mind, what he did, he's like, I'm going to go on daytime television for four years. Yeah, he went on CHCH. He ran like a, maybe they'll just like me. First of all, he's kind of an unlikable guy to begin with. Yeah, he's a little smarmy. He's actually a lot smarmy.

If you watch him. He's a little weaselly. Yeah, he's a little smarmy. He's actually a lot smarmy. If you watch him... A little Weasley. Yeah, it's like I didn't hate him, but he is like a he's kind of got like the sassy nerd dynamic, which is not people's favorite. No, no, no. You know what I mean? And he goes, I've lost the glasses. Yeah, the nerd that thinks... I'm no longer a nerd. The nerd that thinks he's also better

than you, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's the alpha nerd of the pack. You know how every nerd pack has like the one guy who's like kissed a girl before? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like he's the alpha nerd of the pack like you know every nerd pack has like the one guy who's like kissed a girl before yeah yeah you know like he's that guy he goes i have actually kissed a girl he definitely lets the other dude smell his finger yeah you know but he was lying about kissing the girl he actually just put his fingers in like some tuna yeah yeah he sold it well they go but he could have kissed a girl he lost his own seat the guy it was a bloodbath

and yes obviously things are working against him but it was embarrassing to watch this they're gonna give him a seat in edmonton apparently because yeah there's some tech well it's a real problem because they're like he's the leader of opposition but then he can't sit in the house of commons because he doesn't have a seat you know what else about that country is they really do love like a guy that had a big fancy job in another country, which is Mark Carney with England. That's why we live here. There's nothing that Canadians like more as a country

than someone that went somewhere else and did something big and then came back. That's like their kryptonite, you know what I mean? I know. So Mark Carney had a big fancy job at other places. I know. They ran Brookfield Asset Management. So I thought that guy was a – I thought Paulie ever ran the worst campaign. I know. So, Mark Hardy had a big fancy job at other places. I know, they ran Brookfield Asset Management. So, I thought that guy was,

I thought, Paulie ever run the worst campaign. It was embarrassing to watch. Terrible, terrible. I mean, he actually did, I believe the conservatives

got the highest percent of, like, highest vote count or percentage that they've got since like the 80s or something. So,

they actually did well for them, but the problem is because the NDP got decimated and then all those people just voted for the liberals. Yeah. Like the NDP, like Jagmeet Singh, a fucking loser. I hope I never have to see that guy ever again. I think he's, yeah, I think he goes and he's like the lawyer for ISIS.

No, he's going to have like some shit daytime television show on CTV. Or him and Polyev do an odd couple podcasts. You know what I mean? Hell no. If Don Lemon's podcast is not working, fucking... I know. I don't think they're actually doing that. I don't know.

There's a lot of dancing going on. Because after he won, he had Down With Webster, who's like my boys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So all my friends were the band playing the victory party for Carney. Dude, I was watching the videos. Was the elbows up to him? Yeah. They were doing time to win oh but no but i'm like he was those guys were uh like i spent like tons of time with those guys were like really in our scene at the time yeah they're the same manager and all that sort of stuff those are like my boys but um the the uh uh the car if you watch the videos

the Canadian the Canadian Prime Minister is like doing these like real real dancehills that look like almost like a retard

yeah kind of he was kind of going in but they're saying they need to dance that's the only way that they figure out the Trump America the America Canada situation

is dance off obviously between Trump and Carney you're not going to beat Trump Trump has a signature well Trump's got the signature which is Danny's going gonna be doing to the gorilla and then both of them my big my big takeaway was that dude this is shit that's bugged me about this is it was like everything that like annoys me about things in that country that he was doing it was like it's like there's a set it's grow a set but it's not it's worse than grow a set

in my opinion because there's like this arrogance to being like i'm a i'm gonna be a coward and act like i'm taking the high road i know do you know what i mean it's kind of like i'm above doing all that stuff but really you are you're really being a coward the thing is is like at some point you gotta be like look you gotta think outside of the box here like i understand like things were humming along smoothly like four months ago, and you're like, yeah, we're staying the course. Well, that's life, isn't it, Danny? Of course. Of course it is. And you're just like, you know, things are humming along smoothly.

Let's just stay the course. Status quo is all good. But at some point in the last two months, you're like, okay, things are going against us badly. Like, time to do something here. Time to be bold. Well, he's just crossing his fingers and hoping for the Lord. Yeah. And you're just like, yeah, he's hoping like trump will just be like i was just kidding about all that stuff yeah he's definitely hoping for a miracle hoping and praying for a christmas miracle

yeah so and trump he said today actually he's looking at out of your like didn't like polio trump yeah oh yeah he's actually happy that i guess they're not he's like too nerdy for trump probably they're probably like they've i don't know the. That's the ultimate clash. The thing is, Trump expects, if you're the conservative leader of the country, you gotta kiss the ring. He didn't know, okay. Well, he couldn't kiss the ring. That was out of the question. Well, there you go.

So if he went out there, for example, if he went out there, by the way, if he did one of those podcasts, one of, there's probably 20 that wanted to have him on, and by the way, it was like, just look at any other election, there's probably 20 that wanted to have him on. And by the way, it was like every, just look at any other election. It's like, that's how it works right now. Yeah.

And then you go, you know, do media. One of the people that wanted him on was like more views than his month worth of media. Oh, easily. Easily. And a lot of his media in Canada. But in his mind, he's like, but I'm in a television station. Sure. But the thing is, is like, yeah. And they all hate you. Yeah. And you're doing media and people don't like you. He's like, i'm in a television station sure but the thing is is like yeah and they all hate you yeah yeah and you're like i'm on cbc and you go yeah and they trash you non-stop yeah yeah yeah like it's not positive press i know he's he's walking into

the it's like oh look at this they've got like a makeup person like this is a i'm a real the real deal here oh yeah oh pierre from oh from out west Pierre made it yeah so yeah so that was embarrassing clown not good and I mean he might have

fucked up so bad Canada might not be a country what do you mean oh yeah because of Alberta thing yeah you know there's

a Saskatchewan like independence movement starting to brew up like this could be devastating a lot of independence movements yeah well there's not a lot but those three well come back quebec by quebec i mean

quebec even their party i mean the bloc quebec one looked pretty handily but like they have their second party their second place party is an independence party but again it's like you lose those two provinces just the ones out west you're like all right well that's probably the beginning of the end you know what carney looked like when he was dancing no he looked like you at a fish concert that's actually kind of what he looked like i saw a good boomer lib on a plane it was like probably like 80 years old uh like a guy and he kind of looked like a like not like a pussy you know what i mean like a kind of grumpy old men type of territory i like it and he had the the trump hat on but it said make racism bad again gotcha that's funny gotcha we're wrong again make racism wrong again for him yeah you've

been you've been a happy camper with your headphone dodger dodgers is the greatest thing i've ever heard of in my life the uk government basically basically, uh, not the, the liberal Democrats in the UK are tabling a bill where they're going to make a thousand pound fine for antisocial behavior. And they call the people headphone Dodgers. Headphone Dodgers. This guy stole my wallet. What did he look like? He was a headphone Dodger.

He's a headphone Dodger. I just stole my, I got lit on fire on the subway can you describe that i'd prefer my daughter not date a headphone dodger no daughter of mine will marry a headphone dodger i don't care what they look like it's so funny because that's their official term and you're like that's so funny headphone dodger does headphone dodgers hd so good guys coming at you in hd what is that man he's dodging headphones my friend like now i could like totally i say his phones are his ears are clean dude literally now i can literally just be riding the new york subway someone's fucking blaring their speakers i go to the fucking guy with something fucking headphone dodgers See you at the meeting later. It's so vague, but it's just so perfect.

It's crazy. It's so perfect. You'd think the UK would not be doing that. And then obviously, I mean, they- You don't want to walk through that alley. Let's just say that we're not wearing headphones. Yeah, stay out of that part of town. Headphone-less part of town if you catch my drift. That's crazy.

You don't want to go there at night. It's dark and no headphones. But you know the UK will never actually pass it because the moment that they do, they go, all right, let's see all these people we're finding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it turns out the dodgers we kind of were hoping it would be the same people that we were sending to jail for memes

but it's an entirely different demographic do you think that's what he thinks he's like oh he ran he was on the subway or and he saw like some you know frat boy yeah yeah and he goes he's drunk playing yeah this has got to stop no No, no. Did you see Winston Marshall? Yeah, I know Winston Marshall. The guy from Mumford & Sons or whatever. But then he got one of those White House press passes. Really? He's not even from here.

I know, but he's considered like he has a podcast. So he's like new media or whatever. He got one of the new media. And then he asks the secretary, the press secretary, you know, they're like uh they're they're putting have you heard about the d's what's d but he asked her he's like you know they're talking you know they've been putting um people in britain in jail for memes he's like would president trump consider offering these

people asylum political asylum and she's like yeah you what? I'll talk to him about it. On the table. Yeah. Which would be crazy. Imagine coming over the border as a meme refugee. Just have your bag of memes. Just stick and bindle full of memes. You definitely have the Bill Hicks,

like, uh, the, the, the trench coat, the cigarette, the duster, the leather duster.

And she's like, yeah, yeah. I'll talk to him about it crazy i mean imagine your meme account how crazy that would pop off oh my god if you had like a meme account and you were just like you got banned from the uk yeah memes too hot for an entire continent i just love like some african refugee eating fucking sand waiting to get the call to come to america and you're like what they let a guy in

for memes hey man there's things that are more important than his chad memes were just too lit he goes i'm from chad we don't care it's not that we don't care wrong chad buddy take a look at this guy's work with alpha giga jazz he does damage on the deal yeah he's like I have chad memes too yeah yeah but yours are about your country not about that's not what we do

here we don't care about those yeah being a meme refugee would be the ultimate bad boy move I hope Trump does they let them all it's like con air style

they let them all out of jail at once it's just a fucking flight full of dudes just on their way to America For a new life of memes It's actually even funnier

Than just the opposite Where you're just like These guys are You know They're the baddest Motherfuckers you'll ever meet And they have to They walk in

Hannibal Lecter Have to do all the chains Because they have them In the big thing Then they wheel them out And then it's just like A bunch of It's like a bunch of

Just nerds In cells Sitting on a bus Like Do you mind turning the temperature it's quite chilly isn't it yeah yes not that at all because what have you been doing while you've been in thinking of headphone dodger memes i got some bangers up here yeah yeah yeah that's how like you know when they go to jail and they become a rapper or they go back to school, this guy's just been

compiling him. Or they have, like, the map. You know, they have the map where they hid the money for when they get out. They go, it's in here. Where's the money? He goes, it's in here. Yeah. I have something that's going to make me so much fucking money. I've got the best memes. And it's just a literally like a

what you think you're doing, what you're actually doing, what your parents think you're doing. Yeah. Totally. It'll be like, what was it, Operation Paperclip or whatever, where they brought on the,

the German rocket scientist, the Nazis over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or whatever, that'll be that. They like bring them in all, like they work for the government. They go,

we got the best meme people. Operation Fortune. Yeah. And they screw it up and they bring four Asian guys. I don't know what any of these memes mean. I'll tell you what,

another one. You know why I'm on the topic of that? Because I don't have anything to say about this story, really. Okay. It just made me laugh that the Hill posted this. Democrats embrace F-bomb.

Ooh. And it's not the F-bomb you think it is, fuck. But it's just... Oh, yeah, that's what it is. Yeah, it's always funny when like... I mean, that would be really out there. Like the Pope. Yeah.

You know, dude, it is funny that it's always... There's this element of like, whenever you're kind of like, I'm gonna... You know what? I'm gonna let the kids know that I'm a fucking badass. And you're like, no, I will not be fucking coming. It's like dropping it.

Yeah. Yeah. Just in recent weeks, a number of newly launched Democrats hopefuls for key house and Senate have pledged to unfuck our country. I love how you're like, what are you in for? Dropped a couple F-bombs. I swear. I swear.

Dude, he's like a badass. He swears? He swears? What? A Democrat that swears? They urge the party to drop the fucking excuses and grow a fucking spine. Yeah, I mean, again,

unfuck the country. You're like, literally this whole reaction that you think is fucking the country is a mean, again, unfuck the country. You're like, literally this whole reaction that you think is fucking the country is a result of you guys fucking up the country. Like, this is just a reaction to you guys. Like, you went too far. Well, they started swearing.

This is your medicine. This is your medicine. Yeah, and now they're like, yeah, you know how we course correct this bad boy? How we course correct this ship? Swearing. Fuck. Shit.

Ooh, cock. I like that. They're just listening to the secret song they just say them all at once fuck fuck fuck shit damn oh i like that come on that's fine that's what got us into this mess shit a little better yeah just pelosi coming out fuck yeah that's her when she finds out she can't trade stocks anymore yeah yeah yeah didn't they have a bill they're trying to make the pelosi bills they literally made a bill called i don't

know what the acronym is but the acronym is spells pelosi and it's like preventing elected leaders from investing in securities or something they probably worked pretty hard to make those work oh dude they have a meme department that's for sure like someone's like they have an acronym leaders from investing in securities or something. They probably worked pretty hard to make those work out. They have a meme department, that's for sure. Someone's like, they have an acronym department because they have some banger acronyms. You think any of that's going to happen? I mean, probably. I mean, honestly,

that's like pretty, that's not really a partisan issue. I think most people actually agree on that. Most of the politicians, you have to get politicians to vote against them making money. Well, yeah, yeah. But the thing is... Hey, Danny!

I'll hold my... I'll wait. Well, the thing is, it's not a lot of the concern. Although Marjorie Taylor Greene apparently has cleaned up, but it's mostly the liberal politicians who have really made the money. And the Republicans... I just feel like probably a lot of politicians, they're like, hey, let's do a bill that you guys can't get rich.

And everyone's just like, okay, I'll be signing that real soon we'll get to that one yeah we'll put that on the docket for sure it's like that simpsons thing where they go i'd like to tack on a rider for uh what was it it's like a bunch of money for the perverted arts and then they go denied just add some they just add some crazy thing to it Just combine it Yeah yeah They're going to put the stock bill Just like the maps bill Mandatory ball washing with your mouth Yeah like pedophiles are people too Bill

Alright What are we going to do What are we going to do Can't pass that But I watched So I'll tell you we did an intro about this jojo siwa not a lesbian uh celebrity big brother which obviously is pretty huge show over there right so i started i'm like

it was making me laugh a lot obviously we did the intro but like it's making me laugh just the idea that, obviously, she's a fake lesbian. Sure. You know what I mean? But they all are, Ryan. I've met not all of them. No, no, no. I mean, you can tell. There's some gold stars.

The truth is, it doesn't work the other way. Gay guys don't flip back. The most they do is flip to bi. We won't allow it. Right. I won't allow it. No, but you never really see a gay guy that actually flips back. Lesbians do flip back.

I mean, literally, it's the, I'm not gay no more, dude. And you see an interview with him now, you go, that dude is still super gay. They can flip if there's a religious element involved sometimes. But I'm saying, he's like, I'm not gay. And you go, that dude is gay. I see what you're saying. On our end, if a lesbian's like, I flip, we kind of say, you were fake before. If a gay guy flips, we go, you're fake now.

Correct. Correct. There is a difference right but my point or there's a couple things but the first part is i was trying to like watch the videos of this i ended up on a different side of the internet my friend it was because the people that do like reaction videos to like you know the gay drama on big brother i'm it's a guy he's like half man half woman half beast like you don't even know what this guy is yeah he'll just be like you know a dude you're like i don't even

know if it's a girl the guy guide a girl wacky you know crazy hair oh yeah i'm watching this thing i i'm like it's like a dude that looks like me in a dress with mascara basically or it's yeah and or is this like a best busted girl a fat dude wearing a wig Like you really Some of these creatures That have like YouTube channels That are making like content About Big Brother And stuff like that

You're just like Huh You're looking at I don't know I'm generally like confused Like what is this Are you in the comments Being like

What are you What are you Ryan Long Comedy But there's these There's these whole subcultures That you know You go What I mean dude I was on the wrong side Of the tracks of YouTube are you what are you ryan long comedy but there's these there's these whole subcultures that you know you you go well what i mean dude i felt i was on the wrong side of the tracks of youtube in like i remember when i was in the uk it's like big brother literally like what happens on big

brother is literally front front page news it's up there with like the the princess uh die yeah or whatever or like a war yeah yeah like it'll be like fucking Israel, Gaza, Ukraine, Russia, Celebrity Big Brother. And Mickey, and this Celebrity Big Brother, Mickey Rourke's on there. He's the one who started the controversy, which is why it's funny, which Mickey Rourke looks not great.

No. No. No. Yeah. Because he legitimately looks like- He's had a lot of plastic surgery. In a movie where they just take, like, a piece of skin and, like, scrape it over your face.

Yeah, yeah. Like, he's a leather man. I always wonder when you see- Someone tried to do plastic surgery. In a movie where they just take a piece of skin and scrape it over your face. He's a leather man. I always wonder when you see... Someone tried to do plastic surgery to make an alien look like a human and they just fucked it right up. I always wonder, because I guess you can really truly never know. You go, what would you have looked like?

Yeah, I know. You might have a brother. You could check that out. Yeah, but you're like, would you have been like, really look like a monster and this is actually an improvement or did you just go too far? This a bad looking dude yeah well he was he mickey rourke's on the show and he basically is like uh he goes to her he's like you know if you if i was here for four days i'd flip you like that's what happened so mickey rourke started telling her he'd flip her and then

you know it was a big uproar like mic Mickey Rourke was like villain of the internet. And then like a week later, she's like, I'm flipped. Like a pancake. I've been flipped. Yeah, yeah. She flipped like a pancake. Love it.

Hey, man. She just, she found her truth, you know? I know. Yeah, yeah. She just, she found it. But it was, but she's not-

She called Mickey Rourke the property brother when he's flipping lesbians. But the guy who's flipped her is like married or something. It's like, it's not even like Rourke the property brother when he's flipping lesbians. But the guy who's flipped her is like married or something. It's not even like she had a thing with him. She just was like, oh, there's this guy. And then on top of that, with all these...

Straight now. Yes, and on top of that... Yeah, but who knows? They're probably smashing. That'll come out in two days. I mean, I'll have to follow my YouTube channel. I have to get back in the fucking... I just come out of that.

I'm just fucking trans. I spend a week watching Big Brother reaction channels. I have to get back in the fucking... I just come out of that. I'm just fucking trans. I spend a week watching Big Brother reaction channels and lost my mind. Pink hair, dude. But it's funny because these reality shows, they film them and it has to be like a top secret, which it never is because the people finish the show and then they're...

A lot of the dudes, for starters, like when you watch these, you know, not even Big Brother, like Bachelor, all those shows, a lot of the people that the show and then they're they a lot of the dudes for starters like when you watch these uh you know uh not even big but like bachelor all those shows a lot of the people that go on it's like they're gonna be a big star right yeah so they want to get their pussy yeah so a lot of these dudes go on that and then they're they're at the bars like bragging about it's kind of like a secret that everyone knows a little bit yeah a little bit yeah but probably but she said all this stuff and then her lesbian girlfriend's watching the the show finding out that she goes i'm not a lesbian anymore so for the last two months she's with this lesbian right like okay wait you're still a lesbian she's like yeah still lesbian you yeah still lesbian and i love being a lesbian

for life it's my favorite thing being a lesbian is amazing, obviously. I love women. Love women? Nom, nom, nom, nom. Nom, nom, nom, nom. Nom, nom, nom, nom. Nom, nom, nom, nom. Yeah, it's a tough way to find out. Mickey Rourke's calling himself the human vibrator, basically. It sounds like he's fucking doing damage, man. He is doing damage, but... Dude, he's like gay conversion therapy.

He's reverse gay conversion therapy. No, he's real. Well, for women, but he's like... Actually, he didn't. He's like fucking... You can just get a cameo from Mickey Rourke for your confused daughter and she's straight again.

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So this is what the AI Music Generator, people have been making these songs. I've been seeing them in my feed. Oh, the TikTok. They've been making me laugh. The country song is huge. I ain't got time for no homo. You gotta get down on your knees now, boy, and break the day away. Yeah. yeah this is for danny

pray the gay way each and every day That was it That was it Yeah I mean on TikTok That biggest song is like I ain't gay But I do gay shit You ever heard that one? I ain't gay

But I do gay shit In the back of my truck With the Houston Bears shirt on I just suck some dick When I drink my beer I ain't nothing wrong With a little squeeze It don't mean shit It's just a tease suck some dick when i drink my beer it's so funny that was the song one of the songs they referenced? No. Oh, okay. No, they have a bunch of them.

A lot of racist stuff. A lot of anti-Jew stuff. Like, you know, My Little Holocaust Chamber or whatever. Sure, sure. Yeah, that song's a banger, man. Yeah, they said malicious actors are abusing generative AI tools to create homophobic races. Propaganda songs. You're not going to like what it's going to look like in two years from now. This has only been six months of this shit.

We're already at this point. Computers are so much more racist than humans. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, it's crazy. I mean, you could tell. Ray, the gay way. Yeah, it's fucking. I mean, it's not any different than Wheeler Walker Jr., really.

No, it's not. Yeah, it's just, they just don't like that it's a robot. Well, she says, this is what she says. She goes, quote, fuck the L. I'm done. Yeah. It's just, they just don't like that. It's a robot. she says, this is what she says. She goes, quote, fuck the L I'm going for the Q. So she said, she's not a lesbian anymore.

She switched the Q. She switched letters. Yeah. But as a, it's just the whole thing's really funny because everyone got mad at Mickey Rourke for saying you could flip her. And then she flipped two seconds later, like a pancake.

She literally flipped her fucking letter. Yeah. Proven once and for all. You ever flipped a girl uh flipped him the other way i think i did and then she went back and then she went back oh you i remember you i remember the one that you were flipping yeah yeah i mean danny they used to call him the spatula i mean i don't know if i said this before, but like, I mean, you obviously know, but like my ex-girlfriend dated a girl you were with.

Yeah, right. Yeah. Remember that? And then I took her back from the dark side. I brought her back. Right. You brought her back. God knows what she's doing now, but she might be back.

Me and Danny were like smashing these, we were dating these two girls and then they started dating. Yeah, then they started dating and then I, and then I, I was sort of, you were kind of casually, but this was my ex,

I wasn't really like, this was my ex-girlfriend. Like basically we were like kind of on and off again and then we were together and then she moved away and we didn't, you know,

I didn't see her for like a year or whatever and then in that time. Because basically I slept with the one and then your girl ate her out then you kissed her it was all in that order it's exactly how he shook down In that Buddy One time in residence There was these two girls

Same name That I was like Sort of talking to both of them And then they came Marching They found out about each other And then started marching down The residence hallway

Towards my dorm room And they give me a talking to And then I literally was walking And I just saw the two of them And I just walked out And left left campus anyways both of those girls went lesbian both I don't know if they ever did some with each other but both of them went less that have been something when did that been something boys I ain't a but a dude hi

flipping girls is back to let's I actually am the reverse flipper Because I would say Yeah there's definitely a few Like bi chicks or whatever I don't know if I've ever had Like a full like gold star No

That was the first one I mean Those don't do anything for me So it's like I have a long hair though So I could have been like Sort of an in between That's true

You could have been a tweener But yeah like those I've flipped way more Of the other ones I don't think I've ever dated a girl with short hair, period. You know what happened is, people like to say that it's all, you know, what actually happened was that after me, they're just like, you know, I never fucking talked to her. Climbed Mount Everest.

What's there left to do? I think I retired the fucking. I guess I'll try chicks. Did you retire the. Nothing left for me. She retired her female condom. I was like saying saying that a dude when you get in a relationship you were you bronze your condom yeah favorite your favorite retire your dental dam yeah she retired that's the thing it's crazy by the way i remember like that was like i don't know anyone who's ever used them but you're

like what do i have to use them yeah normal condoms don't fit, so I have to dental dam it. Two dental dams. Put it on like a fucking tarp. Tie them together. What do you expect me to do with this thing? How dangerous is eating a girl out? I'm gay, but I do gay stuff. Like fucking dudes in the back of my...

That's a banger, man. That song is a banger. That's so funny. That is a banger, man. That song is a banger. It's so funny. That is a banger. Yeah, I've definitely... Me and... But have you ever flipped girls from straight to les? Like sent them packing and never to return?

Yeah. No. No. Have you ever went up and then you're just like, oh, and they're just like, oh, I'm a lesbian now. And then you go, like, oh, you flipped a lesbian? And they go, wait, you were a... No, I don't think I've ever said that.

Les the whole time, I thought. What? You told me that was a dick? Wait, you're a man? That was a dick? I thought I was with a woman the entire time. That was a dick the whole time? I thought you had a huge clit.

Beep that, Johnny. We don't need this filthy mouth The Democrats over here No we can't say that I think that one does get you Fucking in trouble man Really That's a

That's a Fucking Unt and lit are like big ones for them They don't like c words That's crazy though Cause that's like an actual Like Medical term

Is it Yeah The clitoris For your dick Medical term That's like That's like being like You can't say penis term. Is it? Yeah. The clitoris? For your dick. Medical term. That's like being like, you can't say penis. Okay, maybe I'm wrong then.

Okay. I don't know. I thought that just feels like it was. Bleep that, Johnny. I mean, if you can't then fuck it. Okay, maybe I'm wrong. Literally, I can deny the whole. I can literally go on YouTube and be like, yeah, fucking fucking 200 000 tops and i say fucking clint and they go that's you gotta cross the line there okay potty mouth can't help himself

he's running for fucking congress for the democrats right now fuck damn you think it is yeah well anyways yeah definitely i've i've flipped them over the other way no i don't i definitely never sent any sent anywhere they never came back but you know i haven't tracked them all so who knows you don't know what they're up to right now yeah well you're no girlfriend it's definitely no girl like actual girlfriends or anybody i dated seriously no do you think that if you date a girl for too long or it closes up because it it's just had enough man can't get another one can't take anymore well they apparently their vagina sort of like mold around the dick that they're getting yeah they just can't take

anymore uh no no no for something i watched the conclave movie by the way the pope's did you watch it yeah i watched the whole thing all these people were like this is like my mom my parents were like this is amazing and i don't usually usually when my parents say it's a good movie they like fucking not stuff that i yeah yeah so then but like there was all these people were like you know and you know the cinematography was good i'm not a huge cinematography nerd yeah like i'm like that's not getting me fucking through a movie is the cinematography. So the Conclave movie is like winning all the stuff. Yeah, I won.

I think it, I don't know if it won. No, no, no. It didn't win. Nora won. I didn't realize the twist. I told you last week. I know, but I had no reference points. So it went in one ear at the other.

It's so stupid. Like, dude, I told you. Even after you told me. I know after I saw it. Throwing popcorn at my TV. Being like, Fuck off. Once I started watching it, I kind of forgot. I got into it and I forgot about your warning.

Yeah, okay. It's nuts. I'm like, honestly. I felt literally had. I just sat through two hours of this for you to do this to me. This is your big M. Night Shyamalan twist? The twist was nuts. So it starts out, again, it was too boring for me, period.

Yeah, it's boring. Not even from any ideological or whatever. It was just a bunch of popes mucking around. Yeah, they're all just like, oh, I want to beucking around. I want to be the pope. I want to be the pope. This guy might be a good pope. We might have some information on that guy who's the pope. But I agree with you.

It looked cool because all those buildings look cool. Yeah. And then it was kind of like they had, it was basically a liberal versus Republican. So the Republican pope stands up at one time. He's like, these Muslims, they're animals. He's just the these Muslims, they're animals. Like, you know, he's, he's just the most aggressive kind of, and then the other guy stands up and being like,

we need more Muslims in the Catholic church, basically. And then that, that Pope is like, his speech was so good that they basically say everyone, like, you know, he gets to be the Pope.

And then they find out that he's trans. No, he's not trans. The guy they pick is trans. Yeah. Okay. And then at the end, the guy who gave the speech, they find out that he's trans no he's not trans the guy they pick is trans yeah okay and then at the end the guy who gave the speech they find out he's intersex intersex that his big secret was that he had like women's ovaries and vaginas and stuff and he was gonna go get a hysterectomy right but then he decided that the pope that god made him like this so he was actually fine and but you're and you're just watching being like what

what the fuck couldn't just made him a fucking pedophile or something? That would have been better. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Zero pedophiles? You're telling me that they have a fucking search for a Catholic Pope and not one of them turns out to be like someone on their computers? No, they talked about that a little bit where they're just like, we got a lot of scandals hitting us at all ends.

So we're really worried about scandals. Yeah. But you're just saying, hey, I was. They made the post the sex the sex pope was the black pope yeah yeah they're the african guy that he was you know he was out there getting girls pregnant and stuff like that right yeah yeah he got the the nurse pregnant or not the nurse the the nun pregnant yeah the african pope is the one they made like i think it was af yeah he was slinging dick couldn't keep it in his pants amen but the I looked it up

after because I was just like Catholic Church gonna love this huh no so I looked it up and there's like 10 trillion articles the Pope might have

liked it though the last one the one that just died Francis might have liked it yeah because he was kind of because he saw himself

as the trans Pope yeah he was like I'm that guy that stands up and gives the speech. I'm spiritually trans. Yeah, yeah. I'm spiritually a trans pope. Well, these are some articles I looked up after I watched the movie. One says, why we as Catholics should not support the movie Conclave. And then there was like five of those being like, this is...

Because they also didn't like that they made the popes all conniving against each other. Because they're kind of like... The Catholic Church is kind is kind of like no it's more of an honorable process it's not a bunch of popes running around stabbing each other this isn't politics right right right yeah that's kind of what they said it is it probably is a little bit how is it not being there especially i mean everybody wants to be the pope well everything's politics yeah and everybody wants to be the pope that's kind of what i was thinking even with the expert conversation we talked about last week, it was just like a lot of it is where you're just like, yeah, everything's politics though, unfortunately. Of course.

You know, environment policy, politics. Like you go, doctors, politics, science, politics. Like everything became politics. Experts talk shit about people who are not experts because they go, I want to be the expert. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to be considered the expert also everything i know a lot about everyone disagrees yeah like think about the four things that you know a lot about

everyone that also knows a lot about it disagrees yeah so you know it becomes politics of course yeah so uh then i looked up who was liking it so hollywood was liking it of course and who runs Hollywood, Ryan? They Them Magazine says. Is their website they.them? They.us, I think it is. Them.us or something. Them.us says,

defending the integrity of the Catholic doctrine. Oh no, that's another. That was the one. Sorry. I was giving you two that liked it and then I have two that don't like it. Okay.

So that was the first one. Why, as Catholics, we should not support it, and defending the integrity, and then they had a bunch more of those. And then the people who didn't like it said, we need to talk about the queer twist in Conclave. Sure. And they really liked it.

And then the articles that were beside that on the website, the seven sluttiest gay vacations of 2025 how my bathhouse how my bathhouse meet up in amsterdam yeah i sucked some dude off in the theater at conclave how that went pretty sick articles seven ways to be a slut how to suck off a dude in a glory hole conclave pretty accurate pope movie you know you were saying before like it was a Jewish thing but I could see there being sort of like a more like a Jewish movie but the progressives I'll tell you what they never will do

is like the and people have said this they don't even the balls to draw Muhammad Let alone make like a like let's if all your passion Passion of the muhammad where it turns out he's a little gay Yeah, I'll tell you what that's if they really want to grow a set over in Hollywood have like a suicide bomber that also finds out he's in love with his yeah, he's in love with his What's the guy above him in the Taliban? Do you know the rankings?

The rankings? General in the Taliban. I don't know. ISIS martyr. ISIS martyr, yeah, yeah. Like an ISIS martyr. Sure, like he's in love with the top dog. But he's having like really...

Like he's in love with the Ayatollah or something. He's in love with the Ayatollah and he's having like a big crisis about his like gender identity. Right, yeah, yeah. So it's like a coming of age, finding out like is he... He's non-binary and all this sort of stuff while he's having a big crisis about his gender identity. So it's like a coming of age, finding out he's non-binary and all this sort of stuff while he's doing it.

That would be... If you really want to grow a fucking set. Yeah, grow a set. Hard to take John Lithgow too seriously, too, because he's so funny. He's still always third rock guy for me. When he plays a psychopath, I feel like... Who's great in Dexter?

That's what I mean, though. Really funny guys. And the Winston Churchill movie He won an Oscar for that That was like No he's obviously great This isn't like An anti-Lithgow thing

But certain people Are so funny And he has like His bones are kind of His bones are funny He's got this like Funniness to him That it always like

Seems like a guy Doing a comedy When I see him Dressed up in the Pope outfit It seems like a guy In a sketch or something Right yeah yeah Where when he plays like a crazy guy,

I feel like really funny guy can translate better to like crazy. Crazy, yeah. When he's trying to be like, when it's real, it takes me out of it a little bit. Yeah, I think honestly, I don't know. I honestly think maybe Third Rock is the only comedy he's done. I don't know if he's done any comedy movies. I think he's like a pretty serious actor besides that.

I know, but it was a sitcom. Yeah, it was a huge one at that. Yeah, so I guess, but I guess on the Muslim thing they have lots of movies where they're terrorists.

I think they should have casted French Stewart as one of the popes. Yes. What's going on here? Remember French Stewart? What happened to French Stewart? French Stewart didn't

boog a lot of stuff out of his one role. I'm just a squinty guy. Can you not squint? He goes, no, this is actually me. Sitcom characters in the 90s were insane. Literally, that was a choice for sure. He's in the room, the casting waiting room, and everybody looks like him.

He goes, how do I separate myself from these people? I squint. Got it. Just squints so the people weren't happy with uh clonk live um i am one of those people so what if they do a movie about um like if do you think that the catholic church if the catholic church really wanted to fight back they would make their own movies where it's like i mean they got the fucking cash you know what i'm they would make their own movies where it's like a gay guy realizing that. They got the fucking cash. You know what I'm saying? They fund their own studio and then they go,

how about a gay guy realizing this is wrong what I'm doing and joining the church. I mean, there probably are kind of Catholic. Glory hole operator that finds God. That's too much. But I mean, they probably are family friendly kind of. I mean, they do have Passion of the Christ, although I don't know if that's Catholic.

That's not approved by them. Oh, no, they don't like that? Well, whatever. I'm just saying if they have a problem with the movie, then go make your own. Yeah, exactly. But this was something else. Yeah, yeah. Piece of shit.

It was written by a book written by some guy. Sure. In the UK, I think. I thought the book was a fucking snoozer, too. I can't even imagine how much of a snoozer the book would be. You know, it's fucking 600 pages. You get to the end and you go, what? I just read 600 pages

for this ovary business? Just to be like, he has ovaries? It was really something else. Stinker. Also with the music thing. The firm points to Rock Against Communism, a series where white power rock concert in the UK in the late 70s and early 80s spawned subgenres of anti-Semitic and racist hatecore music.

So they're calling it hatecore. Hatecore. Alright. Hatecore. This is like, might be the summer banger right here. Pray the Gateway is pretty good though. Yeah, Pray the Gateway is good. Gotta pray the gateway is pretty good though yeah pray the gateway gotta pray the gateway you gotta pray every day something i don't know but love it

let's talk the robots are replacing us officially oh yeah yeah my one question is is uh because i've used suno before and i'm wondering if suno is actually generating these lyrics or if they're just putting in the lyrics no i think there's a mix of both but like the ai is like ai is generating lyrics and there's different programs that do different things well because you know you can choose you can be like hear the lyrics yes i'm saying you do either country song oh you're saying is suno generating the lyrics are you saying it's like culpable deniability uh plausible no it's not liability for the commenters. I'm just wondering, is Suno generating these lyrics?

At which point I'm like, that's impressive. Yeah. That wasn't a somewhat. It is. You don't think so? I don't know. Chet GBD can make lyrics.

Yeah, for sure. Watch, make a rap about my homosexual friend, Danny Polachuk. Talk amongst yourselves. Okay, talk amongst yourselves because Ryan's logging into Suno right now. No, I'm talking to you. Oh, we can logging into Suno right now No I'm talking to you Oh we can go into Suno

And fucking do it Even better You're fucking dropping the ball I'm doing something You have to speak Oh okay Well anyways That is my question

Is Ryan's gonna get some rap lyrics About me being gay This is a podcast Chat GPT would never I'm gonna check something Maybe we'll both just check something Chat GPT would never do such a thing to me Okay So this is what it'm gonna check something else maybe we'll both just check something chat gpt would never do such a thing okay so this is what it's this is what it came

up with danny's big reveal out of the closet freestyle freestyle beat drops slow and triumphant yo gather round i got a story to tell but my boy danny p yeah he ringing the bell closet door creaked now it's swinging wide open Came out clean Mike, my man Came out clean Like the man just finished mopping Cause I guess there's semen everywhere And he mopped it up

Wasn't no drama No tears, no suspense Just said I'm gay Like he's jumping a fence Rocking that swag Now he's truly unchained New fit, new dude Walking like he runs Spain

Used to chase girls Now he chases dudes Switching up the game Still bringing the smooth Dude walking like he runs Spain. Used to chase girls. Now he chases dudes. Switching up the game. Still bringing the smooth. Same old Danny still roasting on stage. Just now he do it with a little more gay rage. He's out in the club in a mesh tank top.

Two espresso martinis and he just won't stop. He told me, bro, it ain't that deep. I just like what I like what i like now let me be me so cheers to the man with the hottest take came out of the closet for content's sake but don't get it twisted he's still that g just with a grinder bio and a little more glee so it knows you a little too well okay i asked uh uh suno to make a drill rap song about comedian Ryan Long being gay. Let's see what we got going on here. Opposite day. Opposite day. opposite day nothing about being gay

nothing about being gay it couldn't compute well there we go it couldn't compute that. It was like, we're an AI program. We're not magicians here, where we can imagine.

No. All he got is pride in his stride. Every word got weak. It definitely... ChatGPT had Danny's number, though. Yeah. Fucking ChatGPT had Danny's number though Yeah Fucking ChatGPT Fuck you

Yeah Bill Belichuck Daniel Polachuk Billy B Billy B Bitched He's getting bitched around By his 24 year old girlfriend

Look dude You know what I have the clip If you want to play it It's the same as with the Shannon Sharp stuff You want to play with the kids There's It's a new It's a different game You get. It's a different game.

You get burned. It's a different game. Dude, he's just like, well, I coach young men. This should not be a problem. I'm spending all day around 25-year-olds. This is what I'm used to. Yeah, I turn them into men. He's not realizing.

You take a look and you go, what brought down is the kryptonite for all boomers, period, is women in their 20s. Oh, yeah. We're talking, you know, women in their 20s convinced 75-year-old intelligent men to say, maybe there isn't a boy and a girl. Yeah. I mean, let me tell you.

Maybe we should shut down the entire economy. Guy who wrote Conclave probably has a fucking 25-year-old girlfriend. He goes, what if she has a... I think the cops should be trans. Make them trans. Yes, honey. Sure. Yes, dear.

Yes, exactly. Bill Clinton. How did that work out for him? 22-year-old girlfriend. Not many people had to die because of that 22-year-old. I'll tell you what. Baldoni with Blake Lively and Baldoni. The problem is she's not

25 anymore so she wasn't sticking. No, didn't work. That's why it didn't work because she's not 25 anymore. Remember Bernie Sanders? He fucking fucks 25? No, but do you remember maybe in his college professor outfit days I bet you he was laying

a bit of pipe. When Bernie Sanders remember when he was laying a bit of pipe. When Bernie Sanders, remember when he was giving his big speech and then the two college kid girls came and grabbed the mic away from him? I'm going to let you speak, Taylor Swift style. He just took it like a bitch. They're cryptic.

They don't know what to do. Men over the age of 60, 22 year old girls are like the ring to them. They can't handle the power. It's tough, man. It's a tough spot. Well, everyone's... Thankfully, Bill Belichick does not give a shit about anything. That's the only thing he has going for him

is he takes all the smoke and he's just like, look. He does let it roll off him a little bit. I really don't care. Let me play the clip here. This is what we got. Just try to do what I feel like is best for me and what's right. How did you guys meet? I'm not talking about this. No? No.

It's a tough... Yeah. I'm not talking about this. Here's the thing. I'm actually going to give the Bill a check argument because this is some dubious editing by CBS here. A little bit. He came out. He's like, we've said how we met. I know. He's like, I met her on a flight to Palm a palm beach or whatever like that's out there i know i'm not making the argument that

she's like yeah i was the receptionist at his hair at his hemorrhoid clinic and i and then i started he started paying me to have sex or like she's like i was an escort and fuck no i know yeah i know those are the conspiracies i'm not proposing that but continue anyways all i'm gonna say is he's like yeah i'm promoting my book. And this is at least his defense. He goes, she actually works for me on top of being my girlfriend. It's like she works for me. Stop right there.

I know the work for you. But let's just not graze over. Yeah, he's like, well, first and foremost, obviously, you're a seven-year-old guy with this multi-million dollar business, and you meet a 22-year-old girlfriend. She should obviously be the second in command. She's a vice president now, obviously. Okay, stop right there. Sure, sure. Fair enough.

Fair enough, fair enough. What the fuck? You go, oh, have you ever run press before? It's like, no. No. What have you done? I just went to school for cosmetology. Oh, yeah, you should be like the head of PR for a media company.

Yeah. So, and by the way, that's not how you do this. No. If you're like. Apparently, she had many of these. Yes. And they go, we kept this one in. But she was just like, yo, asking questions about football.

Like, this shouldn't be about me. And then they're like, we want some fucking scoops. Yes. We want some Dayton scoops. And he goes, goes no this is about me winning six superbowls and going to the superbowl 10 times and they're like so how did you meet well no and by the way if you're you're there first and foremost yeah you've posted all the photos you make it this huge thing and you're like oh i don't want to talk about it's like it's literally the guy showing up to a party with like a 10 foot tall hat and someone's like what's with the hat and you're like can we oh we're talking about the hat yeah i have to talk about the hat just

enjoy ourselves you know just talking about the hat it's just always hat talk with this guy he's obsessed with hats that's literally what it is you go you're a fucking 75 year old guy you got 24 year old girlfriend she's posting you all over the internet. And then people are like... And making you do shit, too. He's got her laying on his back on the beach, holding her up with his legs. And she goes, what's going on? And then also, oh, by the way, that girl that's everywhere that I don't want to be a big deal on, I want to be asked.

She'll be here, and also she's in charge of the studio now. She's your boss now, too too she's both of our bosses but danny can you imagine a scenario where you have a fucking 75 year old legend and on the podcast and then he shows up with his 22 year old girlfriend and she starts bossing us around i know i know you'd be like yeah yeah are you kidding me yeah yeah i mean it, it is a weird one. I mean... And before him, apparently she had another old boyfriend. Oh, she likes the old guy.

Apparently she had a 68-year-old boyfriend before him. And then, yeah. Daddy issues. And then after the first... You think she was trying it out, being like, I can do this. Yeah, it was a little young for my taste. I know she was dipping her toes Being like I can do this Yeah A little young For my taste I know she was

Dipping her toes In the like Gold digger game Sure And she's like I think I can Fucking do this She goes

I'm not a gold digger I just like old men I think Louis On his last special Had like a joke Like that Where he was like You know people

I did He was like I was dating Like a 30 year old woman And he's like 55 or whatever And people were like That's gross And I'm like Well no she's gross Yeah yeah You know, people, I was dating a 30-year-old woman, and he's like 55 or whatever, and people were like, that's gross.

And I'm like, well, no, she's gross. Yeah, yeah. What I'm doing is actually pretty reasonable. Sure. I'm dating, I'm having sex with a beautiful woman that's 30 years old. She's gross. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Like, she's the pervert. Yeah, that is accurate. Like, I'm actually doing something pretty reasonable. I agree. She's the pervert. Yeah, she's having sex such a nasty old 55 year old Yeah yeah Good way to look at it

But yeah there's Dude Women decided that You know you should be It's good to be fat And everyone said okay Women in their 20s decided that And then they decided actually

Ozempic's good and it's not going to be fat anymore Everyone said Have you ever watched Silicon Valley crumbled under the weight of like women in their 20s telling the... Bosses what to do.

Bosses what to do. Interns being like, this is how we run this company. Oh yeah. We're not about profits anymore. I'm telling you, I think that's why Dick stopped working at 80s

like for most people and then got, like we invented Viagra and spit in God's face. Spit in God's face. Like, you're not meant to be slinging like that. He's like, you can't handle these young girls, man. You don't have the energy. You don't have the energy. No, I mean, if you think he's just taking Viagra.

For the constant fights. To keep up. That's not the only thing he's taking. He's probably got a whole cocktail just to fucking live, just to survive this shit. I would imagine he's on a lot right now. Oh, dude. She's like, they're in Miami. She's like, let's go to 11.

He's like, what? Yeah. He's like, it's fucking 9 p.m. I'm not going out. She goes, 9 p.m. She goes, we're not going for four hours. I mean, that's the least of his problems. I think the most of his problems is she's like, where are you going?

He's like, I have a meeting. And you go, and is there a reason I'm not going'm not gonna be part of that meeting she goes do you not need your assistant at the meeting that's weird dude he's gonna be giving pre-games like pre-game prep speeches and and she's gonna be in there yeah he's the coach of north carolina now i know yeah so yeah and she's gonna be in the locker she's gonna be in the locker she's gonna be in the locker room yeah that's like just uh bill that's not what we talked about. No, it's literally, like, some player, she's going to, like, come up to him and be like,

um, so you missed a tackle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was that about? And he goes, who are you? She looked at... He looked at me weird. I'd like him out. Yeah.

No, more like football stuff where she, like, really doesn't know what she's talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's just like, ah, yeah, you missed a defensive assignment there? Care to explain? He goes, who the fuck are you?

She goes, hey, I saw you throw... I saw you catch with your left explain? He goes, Who the fuck are you? She goes, Hey, I saw you throw, I saw you catch with your left hand. He goes, I'm left-handed. You go, You know, in football, you use your right hand to catch.

We all know that. Everyone knows it's a, you catch with your right hand. Bill, can you talk to this guy? Can you talk to this guy? And then Bill comes in, he's like, Yeah.

Yeah, that's the analytics of, No, no. You think that's what happens? I think Bill takes her side. He goes, Yeah. He's the analytics of the past few years. You think that's what happens? I think Bill takes her side. He goes, yeah. He's like, tell her that you're going to start catching with your right hand now? I catch with both hands. Like everybody.

Nobody catches. He goes, you catch with one hand now, and it's your left hand. He goes, sure, coach. Whatever you say, coach. He's like, what if I'm diving in the air? You go, no, it's your left hand he goes sure coach whatever you say coach he's like what if i'm diving in the air you go you know it's one-handed i'm trying to make some highlight reels here your dominant hand sure coach but no we do with the right hand anyways i think they should call in her coach i think they have to if they want to don't want to get benched yeah that sucks

i'm telling you is the kryptonite for men. Yeah. I mean, Leonardo DiCaprio is young enough that he's still tapped in enough to be able to handle them. Yeah. There's a certain age where it's like they just have free reign on them. You can't compete, and women in their 20s just eat you alive and spit you out like a fucking... I know.

You're riding a bull at this point. You're riding a mechanical bull just hanging out with your life. And if you saw a 75-year-old on a mechanical bull, you're like, what the hell are you doing? Like, Bezos is dealing

with like, you know, souped up 50-year-old like Miami Bimbo. I think she's close to 60. Like, even 40, even 35. Yeah. You start dipping below 30

when you're in your 70s. You're not equipped. No. You're not your 70s you're not equipped no you're not equipped mentally you're not equipped physically this is a contact sport with these women you're like imagine having it just like yeah you just you're going out with like her friends and they're like all they're like 25 human cash register you ever seen like uh people steal an atm where they have a chain around that's that's him like you know being taken around on a leash like a human atm being stolen from its pod yeah man you just get that taste for that young pussy and go bonkers he does go bonkers he's going bonker i mean not gay but he does gay stuff

it short circuits them yeah let. My famous Donald Trump quote. There's nothing like top tier young pussy, I believe. Fellas, Merrick Health offers cutting edge diagnostic labs, concierge health coaching, expert clinical oversight, supporting clients in achieving their health and fitness goals, leveraging data-driven lifestyle and nutrition recommendations, along with supplement and prescription treatment options. Well, as some of you guys know, in the health industry today, they're treating symptoms

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I watched the first 100 days thing. What was that? He did an ABC interview where he does the first 100 days. He had a banger tweet today. What did he say? Basically, he's like, the stock market right now, that's Biden's stock market. I saw that. Same with the second quarter.

That'll be Biden's too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then after that. Bad stuff's Biden, good stuff's me. Yeah, basically. But, yeah, he wasn't happy

with the ABC guy. It was mostly talking about Biden and the ABC guy being bad. The Biden guy asked him, he goes, the MS-13 guy, he's like,

it's not proven that it says MSs-13 on and he goes what is this so you know i picked i picked you to be the interviewer because honestly frankly i didn't know who you were which i thought was maybe a good thing sure i'm finding out that you're the worst reporter of all time he's abc's fake news you're in you're you guys are the worst of this that is the best because he went pretty hard on the guy yeah he like has these super adversarial like where he gets in there like fucking puts his mouth i was trying his mouthpiece in like ready to just fuck yeah and it was a big interview for the guy so he

was you would tell the guy was probably like nervous yeah and you know the guy needs to get his like he can't he can't seem to like he can't just go straight softball yeah he can't go softball because then he gets shit from his side so he's gotta like take some jab but he was that was a really stupid question and he brought up the question uh later on where he's like he's like something something like uh is the do you think the war question later on where he was like, he was like something, something like, uh, is the,

do you think the war is going to, Oh yeah. He's like, do you think it's a hundred percent? He goes, I'm not, I'm not a hundred percent. I'm going to finish this interview. Not that it's a hundred percent.

He's like, you know, I start this interview and then you start asking me these dumb questions. Yeah. He goes, I'm the goddamn president of the United States. He's like, I think I don't have better shit to do than this right now.

Very adversarial. Yeah. By the way, we had a clip on this podcast go very viral where we said, it was kind of a Danny point. You said that if you want to piss off your girl, tell

her, talk about stoicism. And it did like millions of views a bunch of different places. It kept getting reposted. And some people were, a lot of people were commenting when it was posted recently yeah that uh talking again about marcus aurelius being a cock sure and apparently what he did yeah because he has his diet because there's the meditations but then there's also a diary and apparently the diary is i've never read the diary but his diary apparently is much different than meditation well

the diary this part didn't come from him, but essentially what the claim is, is that, I'll read it, his wife fell in love with a gladiator. She told Marcus Aurelius, who supposedly consulted mystics, the mystics allegedly told him to kill the gladiator, mix his blood with Faustina's, and then have her bathe in it,

or drink it. Then he made them have... Simpler times, huh? Then he made them have sex while she was covered in blood to purge her lust. Now, up. That's a lot of steps. So, and everyone's obviously saying like, you know, this is the opposite of a stoic reaction

of all time. Yeah, that's more like OJ than stoicism right there. A little closer to... Well, anyways, a lot of the... Most places say it's not true. Oh,

okay. Like, we've said some version of this and people always tweet at us and I sort of took... I was like, oh, I guess something happened

but I never looked too much into it and a lot of people were saying it so I'm like, let me... It's very contested. Fake news is what you're saying. Well, it's a very contested claim. And what you know this uh this is from uh google but they

said this is likely total fiction more in line with roman erotic myth than actual imperial imperial behavior serious roman historians like cassius dio and the herodian didn't report any of this so again it may have happened, but it's very contested claim. Yeah, this is Roman broken telephone, right? You hear what fucking Marcus Aurelius did? Right. But again, I'm not saying it's 0% chance it happened, but it seems like most people that study this stuff kind of think that it didn't.

What's the blood ratio here? Is it one to one, or is it just mostly the gladiator's blood because it's a lot of blood right for the whole bathtub yeah it's like a drop of her blood and or is it like 50 50 because then she's probably going to be out of it for a bit well it didn't say fill it with blood it said told him to kill the gladiator but cover blood but cover and have her bathe in it you don't think you've slit someone's body you could cover them in blood fill up a tub we don't have to fill up a tub body, you could cover them in blood? Fill up a tub? We don't have to fill up a tub. You just have to cover them in it. Yeah.

Yeah, I guess, yeah. It didn't say the tub was completely full in the alleged story. So it's possible that this is like Marcus Aurelius' slander. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like people are trying to revise on his name. He was a cuck. It's like one of his enemies was like, oh, you know, someone he knew was like,

oh, that guy's the best. He's so stoic. He's like, was he? Yeah. I mean, I don't know if that's fully a cuck move to go murder a guy and then humiliate your wife about it.

Well, he was cucked. The cuck move was being cucked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the not stoic move was his reaction to it, allegedly. Yeah, that is not a stoic move to go kill the gladiator. many people seem to think that's fake news it seems like a lot for like i'm sure someone's done this before

but it's one of those things where it seems like kind of a lot right yeah but again i can't say definitively but i think that there might be other people out there have just taken it at face value more of a Nero move. Yeah. Nero was the crazy emperor. Right, right, right. He was doing all crazy shit. But it seems more of a Nero move than Marcus Aurelius, but maybe it happened.

Maybe it happened, maybe it didn't, right? We're not historians. Yeah, I'm not a historian. But I just, I think that the burden of proof is, you know, I was kind of, one more expert thing I was thinking, kind of reminded me of like, I think that to some degree, when people have been wrong a lot, the burden of proof is now on you to prove their claims because you've like, yeah.

So it's like, it's not that you don't listen to people, but the burden of proof is back on them. Yeah. You know what I mean? And also what? So you're, the point is like, oh oh all of meditations is bullshit because of this one thing like well to some degree that i would agree with but my point just to finish my point my point would be the burden of proof would be on the people that think this to prove it yeah because

it seems like most people don't think it happened it's unproven but take your other point to some degree yes if the i mean it's literally literally becomes a serenity now situation at that point yeah where if marcus aurelius has been preaching this is the best way to live and this how you do you know his own son died and he didn't cry at the funeral because he's not it's do what i say not as i do kind of right but also the other argument is like well it didn't work that good no because yeah it didn't work for him yeah it is serenity now if this is what he did afterwards true it's like you're right i was so stoic at my son's funeral and then you know when i was slighted later on i had like the biggest explosion of all time yeah yeah seriously it was just like all the pent-up rage of all that stoicism he's

just so calm for fucking yeah yeah yeah 40 years and just explodes in this insane. Yeah, so I think there is something to be said about if that is true, that maybe, you know, there's... Discount the rest. Yeah, it definitely puts a wrench in it. It is serenity now. That is very accurate. There you go.

Yeah, there's going to be some... Insanity later. Yeah, there's going to be some blowback to this. But just to go back to the original thing, if it didn't happen, which it didn't, then there is no wrench. And stoicism is probably the better philosophy. Sure. My only argument, again, is that- Again, I only subscribe to it just to piss my wife off.

Yeah. And for that, it works. I don't particularly subscribe to it because I'm fairly stoic as is. Yeah. To some degree. You know what I always kind of think in that in terms of- Oh, me too. Actually, even in this Jojo Siwa, a big thing that has been happening online is they always say that oh men

say women are more emotional but anger is an emotion right yes and you're like well yeah but i know a lot of men that i've never seen get angry correct and i know zero women that i've never seen cry yeah like i've never ever dated a girl that didn't cry, but I do know men that it's, like, very rare that they would get angry. Right. Agreed. Yeah. Women like to cry, though. Like, I don't know. I've never, I don't think I've ever really seen you, like, actually, like, lose your

temper. No. Right. So it's like, it's, they say that, but you're like, well, yeah, but if, like, 30% of women were, like, I guess my wife better not fall in love with a gladiator you might see some fucking dark shit dude yeah yeah yeah my argument against stoicism was it's always people like you who don't need stoicism and they're like and it becomes like a rationalization more than it is where you're just like yeah it's some some degree can become

like you're just rationalizing your already nature right yeah yeah for sure which is kind of every philosophy every everyone likes to find like a philosophy that just is basically like justifies how they are it's a little bit like your personality is nailing it yeah yeah this is the right way to be okay yeah where it's the girls that are like an emotional wreck that are just like oh you're not being in touch with your emotions you need to actually get them out you're suppressing it and you're like no you just want me to be a mess like you yeah exactly yeah you want to justify your craziness but i think a lot of theories they end up being justified like you know just the way the 48 laws of power becomes the book for

psychopaths right where it's like they get to justify like no look even uh robert green robert green saying like this is how you do it yeah this is how you do this is how you manipulate your victim you go that's kind of weird phrasing right yeah so i think that that's that's the problem with some of these philosophies is they generally fall on the ears that didn't already need them yeah yeah i agree on that um so they, this is alxnow.com, but they, I can't remember where it was. Fuck, I'm on the vendors. Fuck, I didn't write.

Okay, I'm going to look up this. Oh, it's Virginia, sorry. So in Virginia, they did a four-day banned book speakeasy at Morrison House that will celebrate forbidden literature, right? So just porn for kids right yeah well this is what was making me they're porn man this is what was making me laugh because they're doing like it's kind of like uh this is also a bit of a like like we're doing like a banned book event right but like all of the banned books were just like sex for kids book yeah so. So it's like,

it would be funny if two, like there's probably so many funny things about this for one. Yeah. People being like, yeah, we like, you know, and then you're kind of like, what are these books?

And then you get there and it's just like, you know, all the little red riding hood. You suck it up. But it's all kids, parents ago. I'm bringing my three trans kids. We got to see some of these books.

That's right. So if for starters, it's like a three trans kids. We got to see some of these books. That's right. For starters, it's like a family porn event. For second, it would be hilarious if people misinterpreted that weren't that. Oh, yeah. Like just the white power people show up. Let's see some of this. What? Fuck.

The Unabomber, basically. Like, you know, like super. Yeah. Like essentially like the Unabomber show being like, oh, what's the government not wanting us to see now? It's all your fucking Holocaust books and shit. Yeah, it's all just like,

you know, like a baby just trying to figure out its gender, you know? Yeah, yeah. So that part was funny. And then, yeah, if there was like

some actual pedophiles, sure. And there were. A unique band. we've curated a unique selection of drinks oh and there's drinks too oh you gotta have refreshments or drinks you know how parched you get when you're reading banned books among vendors which specialize in uh works by bipoc authors and voices uh explore array of book themes yeah there's it's not an array i promise you it's not an array.

They don't have Ted Krasinski's manifesto in there. No, it's not an array. No, no, no. I guarantee it's not like, you know, some like, you know, three-year-old being trans, mind comp. Yeah, it's not an array. It is definitely not an array.

But yeah, it's so funny to me that it's just like, it's kind of like an edgy like band book event, but it's like only teaching gender to kids. Very specific theme. It's just teaching gender to children. Yeah. Explore an array of book-themed items, from quirky bookmarks to literally inspired art to cozy bookish apparel, unique collectibles, sip on artisanal-

Oh, banned cozy bookish apparel? Wow, this is fucking forbidden forbidden quilts ryan because it's these are such it's a forbidden iconoclast forbidden gender bending quilt yeah look at all these aids quilts that are illegal you can sip on artisanal coffee from our charming coffee charming coffee cart grab a cocktail from our bubbly bar before shopping around. And then, yeah, then it's off to the races with the... Yeah. Where do they store this?

Three-year-olds, not sure if they're gay or not. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure... If they're so banned, like you can't buy them anywhere, I'm sure you can just buy them on Amazon. No, they don't do them. I think it's the books that they're not teaching the kids in school. Ah, okay.

So that's what it is. So yeah, they're not banned in the country. They're banned. They're just banned from schools. Yeah, that's a good question. Is it like, do they bring their kids there to be like, this is what the government doesn't want you to do? And God forbid, just one of those kids fucking be like,

yeah, maybe we shouldn't be learning this it was a little adult yeah well the kids you know the kids robert de niro's got a trans uh one now yeah they all do robert de niro he do you think he's like loving life like do you think he sees it as like dude i've got that perfect package black wife trans kid like i'm the fucking anti-trump guy like this he do you think he sits like at home at night because i thought the black way fucking was trying to rinse him real bad remember he was like he break up with his black wife yeah and she was like unless he has a new one but she had the one i think he does have a new one oh because he was in court and she was trying to get like i think this is like kind of i think you went back

to back end of covid and she was trying to get like 400K a month or something, and his restaurants were all getting killed. That's why he's been doing... Apparently, that's why he was doing a lot of those garbage movies. Okay, those are his two wives. Man's got it tight. Back to back. Kamala Harris.

Going back to back. Doug, keep your fucking wife away from this guy. He's going to steal her. Definitely. Definitely, Emhoff's got to fucking sleep with one eye open. De Niro comes in. So I think De Niro might think he's got like, you know, in his mind, he's like, I'm fucking nailing it.

Yeah. I think he was happy about it. Right? Yeah. Yeah. He's probably happy about it. Maybe there's a part of him that was just like, I don't need this media circus again right now.

But I think he likes, he seems to like the media circus. Yeah, he likes to stay in. I mean, he's not, he's not coming out with, although, no, I think he had that new movie that came out. I don't think this media circus again right now, but I think he seems to like the media circus. Yeah, he likes to stay in. I mean, he's not coming out with... Although, no, I think he had that new movie that came out. I don't think it did well. It was where he played the two different mobsters. Robert De Niro has made 75 bad mob movies in the last 15 years.

I know. Like, it's just fucking chasing the... I mean, he's basically Steven Seagal of mob movies.