The Boyscast with Ryan Long - Blog tries to Normalize Cannibalism, Tumblr CEO Fights the Trans Community, and Rappers get Called Gay

Episode Date: March 1, 2024

Normalize Cannibalism! A lady with huge cans is tired of being called “she” and Vice Magazine is finally over. SUPPORT THE BOYS PATREON.COM/THEBOYSCAST  SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! Prizepicks - Go to www.prizepicks.com and use code BOYSCAST for a first deposit match of up to $100 XBar - Go to xbar.com and use code BOYS at checkout for 15% off plus free 12-week fitness program Talkspace - Go to http://talkspace.com/boyscast for $80 off your first month Babbel - Go to http://babbel.com/boyscast to get 50% off one-time payment of lifetime subscription ON TOUR: Dallas: March 1/2, Baltimore: March 15-16, DC: March 17, Calgary: March 8/9, March 17:Boston: March 23, Winnipeg: April 4-6, Atlanta: April 12/13, San Diego: April 19/20, Houston: May 5, Austin: May 3/4, New Zealand: July 24, Australia: July 25-August 1st SUPPORT THE BOYSCAST:  https://www.patreon.com/theboyscast http://ryanlongcomedy.com Ryan @ryanlongcomedy Danny @dannyjokes LEAVE US A FIVE STAR REVIEW! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In a new book, President Biden is quoted as saying the key to his long marriage is the good sex, and what many people are calling a really gross image. California resident Brad Thompson has said, Look, it's one thing if Biden wants us to believe there's no inflation or his memory is good, but asking me to believe that he's just laying the smackdown on Jill in the bedroom is a bridge too far even for me. Biden's press secretary has released a statement backing him up, saying Mr. Biden lays pipe just as good today as he did when he was 25,

and that it's actually Donald Trump who can't f**k. The First Lady is constantly walking funny around the White House, and if you think President Biden isn't drilling her properly, then you ain't black. Members of the media are coming forward now, saying they have seen evidence first hand in the Lex Steele dossier of Mr. Biden just absolutely going to town on the First Lady, and can personally attest to her having multiple O's every time he revs up the jackhammer, which he allegedly refers to as his Keystone XL pipe. The Boys Cast. The Dudes. Prepare yourselves for the Boys Cast. The Bros. Just the Boys Cast. The Holies.

Just the Boys Cast. The Dudes. Experiences. The Boys Cast. The Boys Cast. Boys, Boys, Boys, Boys, Boys, Boys, Boys. Please. We are here at the Boys Cast where Danny has vowed to light himself on fire

to protest the $19 Big Mac. The $19, yeah. There's a lot of things I'm going to be protesting. If this is effective, this lighting on fire stuff, if this ends the war, every time my chick's like, let's go do something, I go, I'll just grab a fucking gas lighter.

I go, I don't think so. We're not doing shit, all right? I'll tell you what's going to be happening you know those uh one dollar big mac days when they do that once a year well that's gonna be happening every time or option two that was sort of that's sort of your gaza strip yeah the funny thing is where we where the studio is here cape horn's blocked at this uh ramada inn is it i just carry just i just carry one of these just full of gasoline everywhere i go i'm like i'm lighting myself on fire to protest vice magazine going under yeah that's real shame we should go over to their offices yeah so what are you thinking about the the lighting on fire uh mean, it's a big debate right now.

Can you joke about it? No, no, no. Everybody's like, is he mentally ill? Because all these people are like, he's not mentally ill. He's a hero. A lot of people were sort of on board with that idea. People got really mad because MSNBC ran a thing on it. And then at the end of it, they go you're if you're suicidal call the suicide hotline

and then the people were like what the fuck msnbc and they did it with like an israel flag in the background on their like big giant thing whatever and then they're like people are like what he wasn't suicidal he's a hero right why would you tell people to go if they're trying to be heroes like would you tell the firefighters on 9-11 when they're going to rescue people go hey if you're thinking about going to rescue people on 9-11 maybe consider calling the suicide hotline well there is a lot of people that sort of made a name for themselves by being that like think about those famous photos like the one guy who lit himself on fire the name i've seen his photo i'll tell you that much monkey john monkey monkey john you're telling me you don't see that guy everywhere man that guy I'll tell you that much. Monkey John. Monkey John.

You're telling me you don't see that guy everywhere, man? That guy is an iconic photo. I do, but you said he made a name for himself and then could not name him. He made an image for himself, that's for sure. I don't really remember what he was protesting either, but something. The fire monk. I will tell you that I was looking into

doing some sort of monk-related sketch, and then I was like, fuck, I got to get a bald cap and shave my beard, and I go, nah. Well, also, yeah, you you probably need a lot of gasoline i need like a truck get your one leg i gotta call like cushing oklahoma being like how much can you send me yeah i didn't really have too much of an opinion on that one way or another you're kind of like okay that happened i guess i don't know if it's making a difference. Someone lit themselves on fire. I mean, do we want to set the precedent

that lighting yourself on fire is effective? What do you mean we set the precedent by saying he's a hero? Well, I mean, it's accomplishing nothing. I mean, you could say that, yeah. I kind of think about that as all this sort of stuff. Yeah, you might. But I mean, I don't know about society

has an obligation to like make this guy not be a hero i don't think you say what you think i think right it's a guy who lit himself on fire who's a kind of a communist who happened to be like in the u.s air force yeah and he's really and he's kind of like a commie i feel like he could have went harder on his speech because he sort of just did it i feel like he could have while he was doing it he could have released like a better video or something live stream but he didn't really say i didn't see him his speech wasn't that he just was i'm not gonna be complicit in the genocide there's actually a thing came out i don't know if this is verified or not but he was um like he would evaluate uh u.s intelligence on and he was saying that he had

some massive scam you should have why didn't you release it then well no the he was saying that that's what i'm sort of getting at. Part of the reason that he did this was because he saw proof that there were actual U.S. soldiers in Gaza killing Hamas. Why didn't he say that in his speech? His exit interview.

His exit interview? That's a good question. I mean, that would be a massive... Like, if he did, if that turned out to be true, that would be a huge scandal. Because America, if you ask America, they're like, we don't have troops on the ground in Gaza.

Like, we don't have one person there. So this would be this whole, like, dark black ops department thing. I think the black ops are everywhere, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this would be a massive scandal because Biden's out there saying, hey... I mean, the CIA, probably a lot of times,

they just pay the other armies, you know what I mean? Or mercenaries. Yeah, exactly. They go, technically, this guy's not. Yes, the United States government, the CIA hired him and we're paying him, but technically, he's not a member of the United States military. Well, what he was saying was he's saying

members of the United States military are in the tunnels in Gaza, killing him off. Where was he saying that? It was on, I don't know where either on his facebook or like to your friend but that is one of the reports so he was sort of posting this stuff on his facebook wasn't really getting as much traction as he saw guys like a friend's post i think honestly if you don't want your friend to self-immolate because he can't get enough attention from the internet yeah i think you need to just help him crack the algorithm

because if that guy was going viral every day he probably wouldn't be doing this 100 if he was just you know doing one of those like sitting in his car like you know like one of those like long island guys on tiktok yes a million views just sitting in the front seat venting and it was going viral no need to light himself up he would definitely walk in his house see the matches and the gasoline and just be like well we're we're not going to be needing that. Not today. Yeah, not today. No, no, no. He'll need it to turn his car on to heat it while he's making his videos in the wintertime.

That's what he would need it for. It's chilly, but... Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have decoupled. Now... Really? This is the beat that's been going around for a little bit. And there's a lot of... It's a bombshell, right?

Well, no. A lot of people have been saying that they've been sort of living separate lives doing their own thing now it is allegedly official now i'm not saying the lion news media gets it right every time but if you are a man out there looking for a woman that can sort of you can shack up with her she can sort of drain every last little bit of fame you maybe extract you from your friends your family sort of uh you know maybe you can have some projects together that she's going to be very creatively involved in that they'll all bomb sure if you're looking for something like that megan markle is officially on the market okay i mean this is the first i'm hearing of this maybe an athlete maybe a saudi prince this is uh we're dropping bombshells on this if you're looking

for a woman yeah they can sort of you know jada pinkett smith style just her presence can sort of turn you into a laughingstock when at one point you were royalty sure that is she can offer that that should be in her tinder bio that she's like are you tired of people not looking at you with disdain and laughter are you a prince potentially all right well she's gonna not one of the crappy princes we're not talking like the prince of sweden no offense sweden she's going for i think their only options is she has to go like saudi prince potentially zhi zhi ping maybe oh she would make like a good basketball player is probably what she ends up with. The North Korea guy. Now we're talking.

Maybe Pol Pot's kid. Maybe marry him. He's available still. That would be... If the United States foreign policy is looking to do something, send Meghan Markle over. Get her to date the leaders of those places. Have them just subtly drain them of any credibility, of any likability.

And then you sort of have someone... if you wanted to turn an election put megan merkel on that guy yeah he will not be getting elected the next season now again some of these places do not have i was gonna say i don't know i don't know when kim jong-un is up for election i believe sometime in 2180 i'm telling you man if you put her if you put megan merkel on saddam hus at the time, you wouldn't have to do that whole war. The guy would have just made himself so unpopular they would have sodomized him without him even doing anything. Assad? Put Merkle on him?

I think she is one of the most deadly weapons that America has. She can bring down princes. She can bring down any man. Not for Netflix, though. She's getting the views over on Netflix. She's not getting views. Dude, last year i believe i i think this is like our things are all bomb my friend my conspiracy podcast gets less views than our podcast my conspiracy brain really kicked into gear on this one because all of a

sudden the show's been off the air for how many years suits and then they go that was like the number one viewed show on netflix last year i'm not denying you that Suits is doing okay and that Merkel is doing okay. What I am saying is Prince Harry is in a far lower position than he was and Meghan Markle is in a far higher position than she was. And Meghan Markle has the ability to do that to you

or your friend. This is a one woman wrecking squad that the United States government should be utilizing. And this is the type of thing that they need to be thinking about. They should send her into North Korea, to be honest. Listen! Any man that you think is getting out of line, you don't need to be doing all these covert operations.

Put a Merkel on her. Put a Merkel on her. Hey. Yeah. I'm not telling the United States how to run their... Merkel-durking. I'll tell you what, they will be laying in bed all day because they won't want to get out because everyone thinks they're a joke

you're not at South Park making episodes about these people it's tough man you gotta feel for Prince Harry I do feel for Prince Harry but at the same time you know how many how many warnings can a man get listen if I've got a friend and he's with the worst person of all time and I'm not saying

she's the worst person of all time but I'm saying if you have a friend that's clearly getting dragged out and everyone, to the point where people are like, what are you doing, buddy? And he goes, well, how about I don't talk to you anymore? And then his friends and his family. And he goes, she's just breaking. And then, yeah, you're like, we can't even say anything to her because she's just breaking everybody. I mean, if this was the other way around and there was a guy dating a girl and-

It's abuse. Everyone would describe this yeah they go yeah he's he's abusing her and i'm not even hating the player megan merkle i'm hating the game of the united states foreign policy that refuses to use the one-man wrecking crew that you have at your disposal sounds like you've been watching more crappy movies ryan sounds like you've been watching some sort of really shitty action movie where they go they got to bring in the big guns and you're like it could be megan markle listen if the united states government hide she put megan on the payroll get her taken down

dictator she has the ability to take down princess man there's nothing this woman can't do ultimate honeypot she is the ultimate ultimate honeypot yeah now i like it before we move on i have to show you um president uh javier javier uh what's the guy's name again how do you try it no i'd rather i'd like to try it a few more times javier malay yeah okay yeah so vivek ramaswamy and javier malay you're just throwing the fucking all the tough ones So Vivek Ramaswamy and Javier Millet. God damn, you're just throwing all the tough ones today. Vivek Ramaswamy and Javier Millet met, the two of them. You know? Yep.

First meeting, just having a good time. Now you tell me, now there's audio listeners, so we're going to have to commentate. You tell me if you think this is a reasonable amount of time for two men to be shaking hands. I honestly couldn't believe what I was watching. It's a Trump handshake, though. It's the Trump school of handshaking. I think they're both going to the Trump school of handshaking. Yeah, they both love Trump.

At one point, they're just holding hands for a good... They're just talking to each other, holding hands. This is what they do. He says, holding hands, and he goes, well, how you been doing? They're just talking to each other. Whoever blinks first loses, right? See how you pulled away? That's not what these two did, my friend. I didn't go to the Trump school. Okay.

Javier goes in, grabs Vivek's hand. The two of them, you know, they're engaged in a shake. They got a little bit of shake going. They're talking to each other. Yeah, yeah. So we're still shaking. We are about four seconds in. Look at this.

Javier Millet is not looking to budge vivek is starting to feel uncomfortable he wants out of this shake this is not working for him at this point there is no movement on the shake there's just oh there we go there we go so they go for that is the fourth shake so they go for a fourth shake now they're back to standing still they're still shaking ladies and gentlemen we might be going for the longest shake in the history of mankind. And then we go for another shake. He tried to pull away. The question is, who ended it?

Vivek tried to pull away there, and Millay pulled him a little bit further. Now the shake, a laugh, and Javier did a fake laugh, and he acted like the laugh was the reason he sort of pulled out, which was sort of a boss move. That might be the longest handshake I've ever seen in the history of politics. That was an insane handshake. Do you want to know how long it was what are we talking about look at the time so they start shaking at the one second mark and they stop shaking at

44 second handshake that's that's how presidents shake you're all 45 we're normal people so we don't know how to shake hands like presidents but you're all on 45 we're normal people so we don't know how to shake hands like presidents but you're the president of country they fucking shook hands for 45 seconds this is how trudeau shakes hands it goes it's a limp hand daniel's doing limp hand for like four seconds how do you shake hands for 45 seconds i don't even know why they're trying to cock each other does malay even speak english no That's like the one thing. He was translating.

He's sort of saying stuff. I didn't have the sound on there, but he's sort of saying stuff. And then Vivek is sort of has someone translating and then he's listening to the translator and that's how they're cocking. I was going to say, I'm like, from what I understand, he doesn't know any English. Two guys that don't speak English shaking hands for 45 seconds. Two guys that can't speak to each other. Tough. Not wild. You got to learn that in finishing school, I guess. 45 seconds can't speak to each other tough not wild

you gotta learn that in finishing school I guess that's what they teach in politics finishing school it's just that fucking I've never seen anything like that I wonder what the record was pre-Trump I bet you it was nowhere near that I bet you hey Trump extended handshakes doubled I don't think he's ever done a minute and a half handshake

I wonder I wonder if he gets someone who's like as alpha as him, you know, like if he like... You get him and Jocko? Him and Putin shaking, that thing's never ending. The lights are going out. The janitor's coming in at the end of the night and be like, you guys still? And they go, just keep going.

Clean it up. Turn off the lights. I really like what you're doing there. Oh, you got so much money. Oh, so much money. It was very nice to hear. I heard a video the other day of Trump talking to this Saudi Arabia guy, and he's just like, and this costs this much? Oh, that's peanuts for you guys.

Look at this. Such a rich man. 12 and a half. 12 and a half billion. Yeah. Trump and Putin handshake probably goes on for a minute, but I don't think I've ever seen anything in this vein. I mean, no way Trump allows, neither of them allow

I don't know if it was the alpha thing as much as you think it is. I think it might have been a little bit of like them not understanding like, oh, in his culture he likes to shake and then he goes, well, if Vivek likes to shake, then I'm not going to tell his culture not to shake. I mean, the Trump-Putin shake ends with the bell going and then Herb Dean comes in and just

splits them up. Good game, good game. Alright guys, we got a good shake. That was a good shake. Both of you get to your corners. We're going to go round two. That's the only way. A couple other quick things. Bill Cosby's wife, despite the rumors, so this is a reverse

Meghan Markle, Bill Cosby's wife has said that she's not leaving him despite the rumors. Real ride or die. All you gold diggers out there who thought Cosby was going to be on the market, the cause is a tied down man and will remain a tied down man. Yeah, and a free man. Also, it's sort of an ultimate love story. Love does conquer all, you know what I mean?

No matter what he's going through, she's just ride or die, sticking by him. Not like that Vince McMahon's wife. Exactly. She's not getting divorced, getting out there. She's staying with her man the way the Lord intended when they took those vows. Through sickness and in health, through richer and poorer.

They didn't really mention in the vows what the Cosby's... The criminality. What poorer was going to exactly entail. Oh, they got it. They're caked up. They're fine. Did I ever...

Did I tell you that I know a comic who had a cause story no I guess I won't say his name he might have told it publicly I'm not sure but he basically said back in the day

they knew a girl that was on the Cosby show she was dating a guy and then he went and then when cause she showed up the audition Cosby said he wanted to talk to her in the room by herself

and he goes so this has happened like 20 years ago and he's like we just this is just something that happened we always sort of thought this about cause cosby basically went in the room with her and brought her for the solo audition and then just started grabbing her boobs in the in the casting room he just goes just grab the boobs right and then apparently she was kind of like oh what am i going to do and then they sort of agreed she was just going to be on the movie but she goes it's never going to be on set with cosby or stay away from him because she had a role on a couple episodes we go i'm never going to be in a solo

room with cosby yeah and then cosby apparently got her in the room solo again and just started grabbing her whatever so apparently he just comes like a straight up like old school like honk honk you know what i mean apparently he causes like straight up goes for the honks right and crazy and then here's the crazy part so then apparently because of this they decided to make like a phone call to him and she had his personal number so she called him and apparently he was there and then her boyfriend was there and some other people so they called the cause and they were like listen like what you're doing like this has to stop like you know this is my wife or girlfriend or whatever and like we're legal and cosby goes you know who the fuck you and apparently they thought they were gonna have a conversation they like weren't expecting this and cosby goes do you know who the fuck you're dealing with

you'll never work in this town again maybe not that exactly but paraphrasing like you do not know who you are messing with right now all of you what's your name i i dare you to come after me i will bury you i'll make all this he's you know he came he said apparently it was like a big speech and they were all just like denzel from training day apparently you went hard in the paint so this is before any of this stuff he said that he's been like saying this forever because he's been a sexual predator for a while but apparently it's like straight up like on anybody it was he was apparently he's been like saying this forever because he had a sexual predator for a while, but apparently it's like straight up like on anybody. It's was, he was apparently he's just like walking around honking tits.

That's crazy. I actually heard crazy. I don't know if it's the same person, but I heard a story about, um, this kid who was on, uh, the,

the kids say the darndest things or whatever with him. And he actually said that he never said the darndest things and that and that uh cosby just kind of edited it saying that he didn't say anything darndest because i didn't say the darndest things at all i was actually quite smart and then they deceptively edited everything to make it seem like they were more darndest like i was saying the darndest things and i wasn't so i don't know what sounds like a cosby's not a good guy yeah you know what's funny in the sort of like because there's this I think it started with the Cat Williams thing but the black community is having like a reckoning of like tell-alls which is like and uh you know what I mean uh and but

and Puff Daddy P Diddy is like I'm not buying some of this getting killed on it well the and you might be right but the funny part about it is like in the, in the kind of like the white, uh, reckoning, it was all the producers and stuff that were like trying to get girls to have sex. The black ones that take them down. It's all just like gay stuff. Like every guy is like every sort of like black me too is essentially like this guy's gay.

It really is. Cause like if you had sort of like uh a girl come out and say you know uh oh he like uh was pushing with me or cheat on his wife but the gay stuff is killing these guys and they're saying and so they're saying like meek mills gay so pd's producer comes out and it was really like there was a lot of bad stuff that was happening diddy and there was sort of a lot of allegations this is all because of that New York law where you go, the last chance law thing or whatever. This is what started a lot of it, yeah. There's a guy on the subway. It's so crazy.

Like, there's this dude on a subway. This ad all over the New York subways right now. This guy who's like a professor at Columbia and it's his face and was like, did this guy rape you? What? What? He was like, there's still time to basically come after him. You got another window? But there's like there's still time to to basically come out you got another window

but there's like it's just his face and that's a wild this guy sexually assaults you and they're like ads all over the new york subway like imagine you're like i didn't do that oh my god throwing your shit all over but yeah it's like whatever this last chance to, to get. So P Diddy, it's his cameraman, right? And he's basically, he's sort of, he is pushing it. Cause he was sort of saying like,

first that like, okay, P Diddy was throwing these parties and there was prostitutes. And then he made me, you know, have sex with the prostitute. And that was like, in some of these environments where it's like,

okay, you're partying with these like rappers and you're basically like living with them, filming with them, your're friends with them. And there was a prostitute and they like encourage you to bang one of them. Like none of that really seems like you, I guess it gets a little blurry. It probably like in some comedy environments, you're just like, you know, it's a little blurry of like, is this your friend or this your employee?

You know what I mean? Cause if this was your body and you're like, oh, my body made me have sex with a prostitute and you're like, well, what did it make me? Yeah, exactly're like well what did make me yeah exactly it's like i'm not your wife pal you did it what are the repercussions here yeah like i'm not your wife like if you did it you did it like you're like he made me it's like or what he'd fire you it's like well i don't know like you don't have to like have yeah okay well you then i guess you can sit and then so it gets a little it's not that damn thingning of like, it's your employer. I understand.

And then the other ones, he was like, he goes, uh, so this guy's little Rod Jones, uh, which is bad. Tough name.

No, right. And it's, it's rap music. It's the opposite. It's the opposite. It calls little Rod. Little Rod's packing.

Yeah. Little Rod's a goddamn fucking, it's like an ironic homage yeah you go he's a tripod well that's why people always call you little rod the tripod i've heard people call you gigantic rod paulishak as i get in that community but they go throughout the time living with mr combs i was a victim of constant unsolicited unsolicited and unauthorized groping and touching of my anus so i mean i don't know what that means where they're just like constantly touching your butt but like i mean anus is not even the out like that's not like the butt well how do they get

into your anus what does that even mean well i guess that's like well i but i could see a scenario in like a group of dudes where you're just like we keep slapping that guy's ass because it's funny i know that that's not really the culture i mean he is misrepresenting this if he was getting his ass slapped and he goes they were touching my well they they basically said medical term they dismissed it as friendly horseplay i don't know about getting well here's the question up your pooper i think the question is for a male to male ass slap Is do you Cup the hand That probably is a big difference

If you keep the hand straight As soon as you get curvature on the fingers It starts to become a little gay He's touching his butthole Anus is the butthole This is what I'm saying This isn't a little friendly funny slap I'm just seeing it seems a little weird

That this guy's like oh I'm on tour with P. Diddy and he keeps like coming and fingering my butthole like that just seems unlikely and difficult if you don't want it to happen but he's sort of saying like P. Diddy like hey something can you plug that thing over in the corner there

there's just like a thing did he go up the shorts you're like literally on all fours like trying to fix this thing well yeah what's the scenario where this guy's just constantly like touching your butt but and then he was kind of saying like oh they had me watch well he had all these sex workers and then he goes uh uh that big actor what's his name who was in hustle and flow i think he said him was gay terrence howard yeah or maybe the other guy that i always confused with terrence howard said one of those guys are gay then he says uh meek mill he's just like all these guys that you're just like it seems kind of unlikely that

meek mill's going over to p diddy's house and just like banging dudes in front of all these like random people you think so yeah there is i guess there's this photo of meek mill dressed the same as p diddy with like i don't know i could keep seeing that but they're wearing matching outfits well what do you think you said that you see i mean i'll say where there's smoke like the season where there's smoke there's fire certainly he must have done something fucked up because oh i'm not saying too many things okay all this stuff with girls seems like maybe but but david said he's gay for a while and i'm not even saying that maybe pd he's not gay

it just seems yeah maybe pd but it's like they're trying to make him like an epstein it just seems crazy that there was like a slew of like other famous actors coming over and like sucking dick man maybe honestly i don't know this appears listen i'm tapped into a lot of musicians i'm tapped into hollywood to some degree i've never heard anyone that I know that's a guy personally have a story where they're just like, fucking P. Diddy tried to bang me. I've never heard any of these first things. I'm not saying it's completely out of the question.

I mean, he got off on a gun. He did get off on a gun charge that he for sure did. Well, yeah. Well, I'm sort of picturing in my own head, what's the scenario? You're putting him into this kind of weird, Well, I'm sort of picturing in my own head, what's the scenario? Like, so he brings like an Epstein. Like, you're putting him into this like kind of weird sexual Hollywood cabal thing. It's a different sort of thing, though, because I get if anything that happens with girls, you're kind of like, well, I don't know.

Like, what's those two sides of the story? What's the evidence? You know what I mean? Yeah. With the guys, I'm sort of like, I'm trying to picture it. And you're just like, you know, what's that thing where it's like, what's the most obvious explanation? Yeah. What's that? Occam's like, what's the most obvious explanation? Yeah.

Occam's Razor. Occam's Razor. Occam's Razor. Like, Occam's Razor on this one isn't that every rapper is going over and just having these gay orgies. That's a tough one, too, because if you think that the guys... And they're not even picking guys that seem gay. Big risk reward on that, too, if you're these guys, too, because if you're saying that P.

Diddy, you did gay stuff with P. Diddy, but then you lose the lawsuit, well, then you're just like this... It's also... Well, then you're these guys too because if you're saying that P. Diddy like did you did gay stuff with P. Diddy but then you like lose the lawsuit well then you're just like well then you're gay yeah that's true you didn't get it paid out it also seems like

there's so many of them like they say it about Eminem and Dr. Dre are gay they say these guys are gay it's like there's so many rappers you're just like what are the even odds

that like 90% of rappers are all fucking gay I think that's just the ultimate shit talk to a rapper is calling them gay that's what I think yeah and I think that also if you're trying to get a guy to settle on a case yep okay what's the most one he wouldn't want to go public with like if you were just like oh

this girl's accusing you of something the guy's like well i'll fight that tooth and nail and i'll fucking bankrupt you because you're wrong about this and i'll prove my name where the guy's like okay i'm gonna i have all this footage i'm gonna say that you're gay and the guy's like okay how much do you yeah like some of these might be more like he's dealing with a lot of serious shit like he's got a lot on his plate right now so much on his plate 20 of these i know yeah so i don't maybe that guy just hoped he's gonna get one in and maybe just get a little but a lot of the other ones i could picture the scenario like i could picture a scenario where he has all these prostitutes over and he's like telling people to fuck the prostitutes and all that shit i mean that doesn't seem like far-fetched no but it does seem far-fetched that

like p diddy and meek mill sneak into the other room and they're like bangy like open the door and they're like close that door and there's fuck yeah that doesn't seem like something diddy would do that sounds like something will smith would do i'm telling you every black actor or rapper is getting fucking crushed down the case they might be wearing the dress because they want to he's also suing the tequila brand because the tequila brand sponsored the party and he was like well you should have known that all this shit wasn't going on this is starting to seem like a frivolous lawsuit hey that's what i'm sort of saying man yeah i'm not saying dude he's not up to nothing but this guy's suit i don't have a lot of criticisms of America, like some people do.

I don't have a lot, but the criminal, the justice system in terms of the lawsuits in this country is ridiculous. Let me posit you something. He came in and he saw those two naked, but they didn't also see that there was a girl that they were running a train on, which is like a big activity probably with that community. Yeah. The guy's like, oh, I just saw the two of them in naked. And you're like, well, no, the girl is.

And they weren't wearing their Tims. So he goes, well, if they're not wearing their Tims, then they must be having sex with themselves. Doesn't make sense. Hey, listen. Doesn't make sense otherwise. Okay. I will say, I know you mentioned beforehand you wanted me to tee you up because you had a real bone to pick with this article that was portraying people that steal as two girls oh what the fbi thing you said you walked in here today

okay you go let me fucking have it let me let me just pull this up here um no so the fbi uh their their twitter account which i think they might be a bunch of tricksters and jokesters over at the fbi because this is kind of kind of funny so um they put they posted uh two days ago they go higher prices dangerous products and closing businesses these are just some of the impacts organized retail theft has on everyday americans learn what the fbi does to combat these crimes on the federal level to protect shoppers across the country. FBI.gov. And they show two photos of

young women. What'd you drop? Anyway, they show two photos of these young white women, which is just hilarious. Because yes, I'll be the first to concede. The biggest thieves... Like, when I was in high school and in college, every girl I knew stole.

They do like it. And they be stealing. They be stealing. Okay. They didn't. Some of them did it for. Teenage girls be stealing. And they did it for fun.

Regardless of race. They do it for fun sometimes. Like it's not even. The thrill. It's not even for the, they need the thing. Sometimes they just like to steal. Like it wasn't like they. It's a high for them.

It's a high for them. They didn't even need to steal. They just liked to. But they're talking about- I remember girls be stealing when I was in high school. I remember I had these friends in college at Guelph, these two girls, and they were like, yeah, we go to the mall. And they're always like, yeah, I stole two pairs of jeans.

I love stealing. Me and Jarek were dating these two girls once. And I remember they went to get gas and then fucking tried to run away. And then they get in the car because the one was dry was her car yeah and she got she pumps the gas then took off and then the car was trying to come after us they're trying to escape the car and it was just like what are you ladies for what for what yeah this isn't even shoplifting you're stealing 30 bucks of gas there's always something with these ladies no chicks love to shoplift okay but anyways it's just funny because this is the

photo and it's the one photo that they get the least in trouble for even though they're getting ratioed like to hell i get your point yeah but the funny thing i didn't know if you had to do all the photoshops where you kept doing all the real people that steal but the funny thing is what he actually looks like click on the link if you click on the link that the fbi.gov uh gives you right um they have they go here are three examples of organized retail theft rings that we've broken up and it was a white guy a chinese guy and a black guy and then they're just like here's two white chicks in their 20s okay so it didn't even relate to the article no obviously it's just funny yeah and then i will one thing though that i'd like to i don't know what other people because i keep seeing like these videos i saw this video of

some guy stopping uh it was like a home depot and some guy was trying to steal all the shit from a home depot okay and then some guy went and like basically he's like get the fuck out of here and like beat this random dude up who's trying to steal from a home depot you see a lot of those now and the people vigilante store owners they're not the store owners they're just like vigilante guys just guys where you have nothing to gain and in the thing he's like this is the reason why all this shit's so expensive i'm like look uh this might be my god that's his point yeah he goes this is why everything they are not home depot if theft goes to zero tomorrow, are not passing on the savings to the customer. I hope you don't think that Home Depot is going to be like, thanks for everybody for

not stealing. Let's lower the prices of everything. They might take stuff out of their locked cabinets and they might not raise them again so much. Maybe they won't put stuff under lock and key, but they're not lowering. They're not passing those savings on. Like for you to go defend, it's one thing to be like,

this is like a mom and pop. You're defending Home Depot? Getting involved, yeah. Like a fucking $80 billion company, you're like defending them because you think that the reason your shit's so expensive is because of theft? And maybe it is, but they're not passing those savings on to you

should theft be reduced. Well, maybe it won't keep getting worse in their opinion. I don't know. I don't think so. Yeah, well yeah well you're saying you wouldn't do that uh i would not do that no would you go block the storekeeper off help him out if it was like a shopkeeper depend the problem is where like in new york city no you're gonna get killed probably what was that what was the publication that posted the picture of the two white girls as the face of theft fbi it was the fbi it was the fbi it was picture of the two white girls as the face of theft? FBI. It was the FBI.

It was the FBI. It was their personal. It was their Twitter. Their newsletter. It was their Twitter, the FBI Twitter page. Did you see that one? Fellas, PrizePix is America's number one fantasy sports app with over 3 million members. It is the easiest and most exciting way to play DFS.

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yeah yeah it was a wacky it was a wacky time it was a wacky time in my life and he goes I was a heretic at the New York Times and there's just one part of it that's really funny because he started he goes he goes I did what I was hired to do and I was paid for it so he said the first day they asked him is for his favorite sandwich because they do these like yeah like these tea building where you're trying to introduce yourself and you say, hey, I'm They sit around in a circle

and he goes I like Burger King. Russ and Daughter's Super Heapster came to mind but I figured mentioning the $19 sandwich wasn't a great way to win friends

so I blurted out the spicy chicken sandwich from Chick-fil-A and I considered the ice broken. The HR representative leading the orientation chided me. We don't do that here.

They hate gay people. And then people started snapping their fingers in acclamation. That's so crazy that they do that. I hadn't been thinking about the fact that Chick-fil-A was transgressive in liberal circles for its chairman's opposition to gay marriage. Not the politics, the chicken, I quickly said. But it was too late.

I sat down, ashamed. Tough first day at the New York Times, huh? opposition to gay marriage not the politics the chicken i quickly said but it was too late i sat down ashamed tough first day at the new york times huh oh that's one of those things where you're so embarrassed you just recreate like it just runs on replay in your head you go oh you cringe every time you're like i can't believe i said chick-fil-a that's the but it's interesting that's the environment that's going on of course i mean i got chick-fil-a and everyone's just like oh my fucking like who is this you know savage that we hired and it's funny because this chick ida bay wells who's like this popular journalist or whatever and i think she works in new york times yeah she's like i worked in the new york times never happened and this guy this other guy who's like prominent was like yeah i was there that

happened it happened well they probably went through everything too it was like, yeah, I was there. That happened. It happened. Well, they probably went through everything, too. It was like, what's your favorite show? And he's like, The Office. They're like, oh, my God. Sorry. The Chappelle Show. Oh, my God.

What drink do you like? I like Starbucks. Oh, my fucking God. I just shoot yourself. Yeah, you go. I drink water. I just like water from the tap. It is something else, though. I i mean that's what you're dealing with

with the new york i mean like look the no love loss for them because they're they're kind of doing it to themselves like rolling stone did a similar rolling stone's kind of been going down the vice uh road yeah yeah yeah they're getting so crazy where you think you go hey what kind of stuff are they doing like just all the same stuff that vice did where it's just so uh wacky it's even wackier now yeah they did a thing on shane where they called war mode holocaust deniers i saw that yeah you know like that stuff and you're like i know those guys they're not holocaust deniers they're just asking questions and um i mean that's like the joke on the show but they uh but no they're they're doing crazy stuff you go like, you've seen this blueprint of how Vice ran itself into the ground. And they're following it.

Agreed. Instead of trying to course correct in some way, they're like, no, we're going to follow it. Okay. Well, you know what? Let's talk about the comedy thing a little bit. Because there's been a lot of stuff that happened. But we'll say before we start, come to see me on tour this weekend in dallas and then calgary i'm going to be filming uh taping that weekend so come out to that baltimore washington boston

winnipeg atlanta san diego houston austin new zealand which is the least tickets i've ever sold in my life on an announcement and australia which is selling great so come to that ryan long comedy.com new zealand new zealand it's not not going great in new zealand but they love that chick jacinda Ardern so much that she probably said don't go to Ryan's show loser just take a vaccine instead but Australia the dogs are coming out so and Danny's gonna be in Dallas and Phoenix this weekend has a comedy Saratoga Springs uh Fairfield Connecticut Hamilton Ontario just uh booked in April Dallas North Plains Minneapolis Edmont Edmonton, Vancouver.

Actually, you know what? Before I wanted to talk about the quick comedy thing, there was a good article. Also, shout out to, I would just like to give a shout out. Somebody heard that I, on this podcast, that I had lost my domain, dannyjokes.com, which it turns out I didn't lose. I actually had it on some weird company that I bought it on that I forgot. And I don't know what happened. But anyways, so I do't lose. I actually had it on some weird company that I like bought it on that I like forgot. And I don't know what happened. But anyways, so I do own it. And the reason I realized it,

because someone who watches the show was trying to buy it back for me. From you. For me. Yeah, but I know, but from you. But then I got this email from GoDaddy being like, hey, someone would like to buy this domain. What will you sell it for?

And I was like, what? It's a loopy move. I go, what the hell? And then I started digging into it and then i go oh i own it still so anyways thank you to whoever that was well danny you are not buying gay dodgy so yeah uh shane did snl and he like crushed it and you went to the after party it was those after parties started like 4 30 it literally started at 3 15 no it was pretty late i was fucking i've been at it that day man yeah yeah no it was three we what we walked by there at 2 15 thinking like yeah we'll just like wait to start and they're like no come back in an hour it goes late yeah yeah i left

there at six and there was like 400 people there but what were you were talking about is those places that write these insane comedy articles like n NPR wrote the article saying that Shane had a he was like, oh, he bombed. And it was just like if you actually look at the thing they basically it was kind of like, I a lot of times will do stand up where you kind of you kind of act like

you act like maybe something didn't do as good or whatever. Sure. And in his case he was sort of saying he goes, you didn't think that's funny? I think's funny but the people did laugh yeah and that's his style yeah exactly and they kept like mentioning those sort of things and it was like listen i'm i could maybe take that from a normal person but for like a comedy critic to not understand that that is like his style it's like being like woody allen did his performance and he was really nervous the whole time he seemed like he was so neurotic and nervous that's literally what they said it's like watching a basketball game and being like a commentator from basketball and seeing guy do

a pump fake and you're like oh he went up to shoot it and realized that it was a really bad time to shoot so then he took it it was just like you don't understand like what that is they probably in their mind they go we're gonna do this watch along party at the npr office and then everybody's sitting there in silence they go bombing yeah yeah he's bombing at the npr office as you guys are watching it because you guys aren't laughing but it was just like someone not understanding your reign of terror is coming to an end yeah how do you not like understand it's like you just that was like you just watch something and like have no idea what's happening even you know what i mean yeah they just don't they don't get it yeah it's literally watching thankfully we don't need them to anymore yes we don't we don't need

them together we can see with our own eyes you don't you don't need realize realize realize and it's pretty funny that there's the seattle comedy club that basically canceled uh kurt and i think lewis and lewis dave and jim florentine show but kurt's been going uh he's been posting all about it because the reason it's so funny is because it's in the in the chas in the chas district of seattle there's this comedy club and then like now chas all the comics were saying like oh it's funny though uh florentine went on uh uh one of the fog shows and he said they one of the reasons is because a lot of the comics there is say think the east coast comedians are too rough around the edges i was wondering why he got like he's not like uh i don't yeah i don't know where got florentine

east coast comedians are just too bad yeah and you're like, fucking Kurt Metzger has a... What is he? Has an Emmy for a feminist comedy show. He does, yes. You think that would be a big hit over in the Chaz and the Chop? But yeah, basically they wrote this whole thing just being like, you know,

we need to stay in line with the community, which is like, you know, these comics that are just like very niche comics in this one area of Chaz. It's like, oh yeah, like comics that are just like very niche comics in this one area of jazz. It's like, oh, yeah, like the trans person at the coffee shop next door. The coffee collective. He's going to hire your bookings. It's just not happy about it.

Pretty funny, though. Lewis, shout out to Lewis J. Gomez for taking the high road, because he actually straight up was like, I don't even want to. He's like, I'll just, whatever. Like, I don't even want to talk about this. But then it just got blown out. I think he was saying all his fans were just like going hard like messaging the venue oh my god of course where yeah messaging you're probably sending fucking bomb threats they're like swatting the venue knowing the legion is gangstas

yeah so i guess uh his sort of thing was like whatever this like crappy comedy club says no which is true you're just like sure be that comedy club i'll go to the other one and bring the money that i'm it is weird though that seattle i guess seattle's just that's the ethos because the only real like good club is not even in seattle right it's like tacoma right like seattle as big of a city it's not that far yeah it's not that far but it's just like it just doesn't call tacoma comedy club's great yeah yeah but there's also the Danger Cats, the West Coast Boys. Yeah. They basically, these guys were doing, they did a roast two years ago.

Yeah, this is nuts. And they did a roast joke where he mentions the mass graves. Okay, so yeah, they did one in one roast, so one roast battle. One of the jokes was one of one of the girls i guess was like native in who was getting battled by one of these dudes and then yeah they made one joke referencing mass graves that have yet to be discovered right because that was a big thing at the time was they go there's these mass graves and then they were flying the flags at half mass in canada like it was a big deal in canada got burned down churches got burned down like it was a big deal in canada all this got burned down churches

got burned down like it was a big deal they have yet to recover a single piece of physical evidence that confirms that there were any of these mass graves well i think one thing that people are realizing though when you're in canada the natives make the trans people look like fucking yeah they're they're the new comics you do not want them on your ass man those guys when they're on your ass there's a lot of them in fairness they have been treated like fucking shit for a long time like they have real grievances but for them to be like yeah this they just said this well it's not who's it's it's like yeah there's a few people i guess right but they are they they get taken seriously so anyways they got their uh shows

canceled everywhere yeah they're like entire tour basically they're all yeah it's getting because and it's it's the which sucks but it's essentially it's the heckler's veto where um you know you just complain so much that you basically make a venue go hey like we're getting threats that this might be unsafe like there's something bad might happen so we have to like a lot of the venues like we don't want to cancel this but they're threatening us like not even threatening us economically they're like it's it could be potentially dangerous and then you go the same thing that happened to me with the show in toronto the free speech where we go like so you can either drop five grand on security

if that's what you'd like to do which obviously is not economical or they go sorry we just have to cancel it and then you have to do the stuff where you know like the the compound do where you go hey we'll let you know the venue like an hour before it starts yeah the show starts at seven we'll let you know the venue at six but it is kind of funny though that like in seattle and uh and uh i you know uh in parts of canada and seattle these like little places where it's it still kind of feels like 2015 and then kind of like in sort of the more broader culture it's kind of like sort of like wilder east coast comedians are like the biggest in the world right now. Yeah. It's like two things happening.

It's almost like it's sort of like two timelines happening simultaneously. Well, Canada's always been behind. Canada's always going to be behind. Yeah, it's always going to be behind, even though there's no real reason it should be, but it just is. It's always going to be like living like six years behind. Yeah. We're not doing that anymore. Yeah, we're not doing that anymore.

And eventually, Canada, they'll poke their heads up and they'll go, oh, it looks safe down there to try some edgy jokes, eh? Oh, it looks like we're okay. Like the fucking groundhog peeking his head out. Exactly. Looks like there's going to be eight more years of edgy jokes, eh? Yeah. So, I don't know. It is, yeah, it's great that that shane got the show too though on top

of it like the net i know yeah there's i've very much felt that we've been in like this comedy dark ages like where we'll like we'll look back on it like 50 years from now and be like yeah there is like this just weird like decade where like nothing good got made like it commercially like nothing commercially of like really particularly great like maybe the odd things that anyone's gonna remember tim robinson stuff or whatever but like for the most part like if you graft it out it would literally look like this and then culturally significant mainstream nothing like a decade just gone yeah kind of yeah gone like wiped out i think i was hearing like you know eric weinstein he was

sort of talking about the idea that he was sort of talking about this in the context of like schools and just like how schools are just like got blasted by this stuff and i think they haven't really been able to recover at all because the thing is the really thing that changes stuff is when everyone in an industry or area when everyone just changes their business models to not include that anymore yeah so you essentially like you keep moving without the thing you know what i mean yeah and i think that's what happened everyone sort of changed that and then also there's another part of it where it's like people that are like somewhat in entertainment whether that be like broadcasters or commentators are a little like braver because bravery sort of takes like uh

repetition in some ways you know what i mean so you're a little like unlessver because bravery sort of takes like uh repetition in some ways you know what i mean so you're a little like unless you light yourself on fire you can go out in one big boom yeah we need like uh what do we need yeah we need like peter jennings or someone but like standing up to people like standing up to a guy or like just in general like not being afraid kind of takes like repetition to some degree like even think about like being on stage like yeah just sort of like takes like the more you do it the less you're like afraid the more people yell at you the less you kind of care okay and i think that that's happening these in like some of those smaller places like their business models still like 100 tied into like if you want to work in this thing

you got to get the grants and these are the two places you get them like you know what i mean so none of that sort of changed so he's sort of pitching it as like it seems like it was as kind of crazy as it ever was which is maybe true it might be in that stuff yeah i mean that that is such uh you know like the academia stuff and however you know the people who are running schools and all that stuff and pretty much like a you know homogenous belief system like to turn that ship around that's like a giant you know i think you have to turn the monetary part around first i guess like if you're the top scientist and you're like yo the only way for you to work is to work at one of these places and get their money and then if there was no you know because

some of these guys are trying to do some bullshit abstract abstract problems it's like i guess the or the other thing is you essentially become like a public person and then you make your money from that and then you go to research but i think for a lot of you know then you're doing speeches and stuff like that but i or write a book that becomes profitable and then you don your money from that and then you go do research. But I think for a lot of, you know, then you're doing speeches and stuff like that or write a book that becomes profitable and then you don't need them anymore. But I think that moved a lot slower where it's like a lot of those people are probably like the top guys at Harvard

and you never figured out a way to sort of like incentivize yourself to go elsewhere. Yeah, you're like institutionalized. You're institutionalized. But it's quite comfortable. Like it's's not uncomfortable you just have to kind of play the game and you know have to but it is i'm sure it's a very comfortable existence to be like in the upper echelons of administrators at harvard exactly you know you're like it's i work at

harvard like what's it's prestigious so on the topic of the science community and scientists and such right which by the way i saw uh what's the guy's neil de topic of the science community and scientists and such right which by the way i saw uh what's the guy's neil degrasse tyson yeah saw a clip of him when he was on compound back in the day what yeah and i was just like well that's crazy you're calm yeah i was like an interview with him and anthony kumia well i guess anthony kumia did have a pre before the unpleasant yeah it was just interesting to like see or whatever yeah but um the news scientist.com they ran out of stuff to normalize is it time for a more subtle view on the ultimate taboo cannibalism listen you might you're this is is this the same before you get on your high horse

is this the same guy who wanted to fuck the animals, too? I hope so. Isn't that the same guy, Peter Singer? Everyone's like, let's see, who is this by? Yeah, everyone's like, you got to stop talking about, this is by, oh, this one. They don't put a name on these. Nobody wants to be named. Unnamed author. Cannibal Collective. Cannibal Collector's unnamed author didn't want his name attached to this bad boy.

All right, fair enough. So it could be Peter Singer. He's like, you told me what not to talk about. You didn't tell me what I should talk about. Yeah, he's like, look, we eat dogs. Ethically, cannibalism poses fewer issues than you might imagine. If a body can be bequeathed

with medical consent to science, why can't it be left to feed the hungry? So, really good news homeless people your worst nightmares have come true i mean i think we figured out food i think the reason why we don't is because that's the absolute like if if the home like people were starving maybe that would be an option i think there's some homeless people and you go listen you don't have to beg anymore this whole you know standing outside with your coin look with your standing outside with your uh cup looking for money yeah really good news yeah remember do you remember your friend good news and bad news remember your buddy ray

he's not with us anymore the good news is he's delicious the good news is he made we had mario batali prepare him four different ways he makes an incredible casserole that's such a crazy solution so they have a couple different angles the first angle is they're kind of like you know there's a lot of people hungry out there and yeah imagine you go to the we figured out better solutions so they go to the food bank you go listen these food banks you know how much it costs to get when we have a morgue full of what i would describe as food food yeah yeah technically so that's one of the first reasons i think one obviously one of the things is it's not good for you to eat humans i don't think i don't know i do wonder if it

if it is bad like because you know they they say organ meats are the best ones. Is it good to eat a human heart? I'm not eating any organ meat, but you probably have some organ meat. Is that the most nutrient-dense shit is to eat a human heart? Perhaps it is down to the fact that it is culturally ingrained with roots in early modern colonialism. So that's going to be real bad if you get called a colonialist because you don't want to eat a fucking guy when racist stereotypes of the cannibal were concocted to justify subjugation so i don't know if that's not a bad way i think you could probably convince a certain subsector of like you know college chick girls yeah that like the reason they're not eating

their buddies well they're not they're grandmas and stuff and they're not eating their buddies well they're not their grandmas and stuff and you're not eating yeah you're not eating fresh meat you're eating probably old people well i think yeah that's a good point too because yeah you don't want to eat old people i don't want to eat that's not good meat that's just not you can take that quote to the bank my friend that's objectively just not good meat from the olds perhaps it's down to the fact it is culturally ingrained with roots into early modern colonialism like it or not then cannibalism is an important part of our history understanding its deep roots might shift our perspective on the few cultures that still practice cannibalism today this is the ultimate of that's their culture is this a part of our culture well do you have to do that

with like jeffrey dahmer yeah who's like the famous people that ate people yeah jeffrey dahmer hannibal yeah you have to be like is that part of what culture is that part of like in our culture they're saying like some tribes in the forest yeah yeah like in the amazon or something they're kind of saying like they do it and there's nothing wrong with that i mean that was what was that movie in the 90s alive well yes yeah the guy who... Alive? Well, yes. They referenced that as like pretty sick. Yeah, like they had to, you know. You know, they kind of... Well, they're sort of saying they didn't have to.

They had like, you know, they were just kind of going back and forth. Yeah, they would have been fine surviving on berries and snow, but they chose to eat their friends. The guy who wrote this is a cannibal for sure. There's no question about that. At least he's thought about it. This is something he's interested in doing. Hey, I mean, to each their own, I suppose. Well, it's the same as the guy who's...

It's on the topic of like, you're writing an article about like, you know, you write 40 articles about age of consent being fucking problematic. You write 40 articles about, you know, how you should fuck your cousin. Or you write articles about why you should be a cannibal. It's like you have a genre that seems... You have interests as a person.

Do you think there's any funeral home where there's just one deranged funeral home somewhere where they just take a taste? I do think so. I would say not that they take a taste. I would say there's one deranged funeral guy that has a link where he's selling it to the other guy. Oh, he's the plug. Well,

I think he sells it and he goes, you can fuck it or eat it. I don't care. Oh, you're not. He's not like selling sausage. It's not like already processed. I think they have more an arrangement where they go, listen, I'm going to leave you alone with the body. I'm going to come

back in 50 minutes and whatever happens, happens. there's just a bite out of the leg why the fuck am i supposed to bury this guy it's open casket they i aghori a hindu aesthetic sect in india also did it to reach transcendence they don't eat cows what are you talking about they eat people made some fat women it's like they don't even eat cat. They're all like multi-vegetarians, aren't they? With just an allowance for human meat? I would really hate that

if the apocalypse came and I had to fucking eat people, man. Obviously, if I was with you, I'd be good for a while. I still hate that. Ryan says he'd be good for a while like he wouldn't be the first guy getting eaten. Ryan goes, yeah, yeah. So who are we eating first? Well, Danny just sees me like a hot dog.

We're all just like on our fucking bibs. Look at you like a hot dog. Yeah, that would be, if apocalypse happens, I'm just killing myself. Yeah, you think so? Yeah. Okay. So then, and I will have no choice. choice yeah but you don't know how to cook i know but i'll just me i'll just probably put it in the fire oh that'd be okay actually i think

that'd be okay so they're pushing this um they're saying you can transcend your body and a lot of people uh we have said that there might be some people that have evil spirits in their house. We've obviously talked about that. A lot of evil spirits. Okay, ready for this lady? Yeah. Are you getting attacked by incubus and succubus spirits

in the night? That's you. They're demonic spirits that come to defile you in the night. How do you get rid of them? Break agreement with them. It's pretty simple stuff.

Put up a head of protection around your bedroom. Get out your anointing oil and anoint your bed and say, in the name of Jesus, I command there will be no demonic visitation, no unclean, foul, evil spirits, and I bind every incubus and succubus demon from attacking me, my spouse, and the knife. So what would you do if you were... Does she sell the anointing oil? Like you buy her anointing oil?

You can buy the anointing oil from her. She goes, I might know somewhere. She's one of the places that you can get the anointing oil. I mean, my oil is the best anointing oil. What would you do though if you just heard that in the other room? If you went home with a girl and then she just went into the other room for a second. She goes, demons and succubus, I commend you.

Comes out of the bathroom. She goes, all right. How you doing? Spraying oil everywhere. I go, all right. This might be a one-time deal. I wouldn't leave. I'll tell you that much.

I've been with crazier. It would be funny if you were just doing that to the girl. You're with the girl. She goes, what are you doing? It's like, oh, I'm just getting rid of the evil spirits and the succubus that are in my house. She goes, why are you spraying it on me? You know, I've heard that they possess women.

Yeah. And she goes, and then you look at her, you go, hmm, still here, huh? You put it in the girl in the morning. Succubuses, please exit my house this instant. Be gone with you.esus i command it's not a bad idea in the name of jesus christ i command that this woman exit the realms of my what do they call it home my abode abode yeah yes there you go so the tumblr ceo had probably one of the best fights he's having like kind of a breakdown.

I can't believe people still use Tumblr. They don't really use Tumblr that much. So it's only for wacky shit. Tumblr sort of could have been one of the big sites. And it sort of just never happened. Because of the porn? Well, the porn is sort of the only thing that was keeping them afloat. That's where you go to get one-legged porn.

And they sort of have this weird thing where they probably kind of pretend it's art, right? Yeah. But the CEO basically kicked off this trans woman, right? And then the trans woman kind of, and he was saying it was multiple violations, all this sort of stuff. Trans woman basically just said I wanted to kill him or wanted him dead. Then the trans woman went onto Twitter afterwards and was like, I hope you die a slow death, some version of that, right?

Yeah. And then he basically was kind of saying like hey you weren't kicked off because of that and this is what he posted when will you be honest with your followers that the repeated adult content violations were not pictures like this because the trans person posted a photo being like this is what i was kicked off for and basically they had all these burner accounts and then he said but you were actually kicked off for your other accounts. And these are the actual names. Irish pig cock girl, burger foot job, furry vor burps. What do you think the burps is?

I don't want to know. So this is what's going on on Tumblr right now. This is the kind of sexual content that's happening on Tumblr. Furry vor burps. So I guess they just dress up like a furry and they burp. bedstrigin bedstrigin cumber burping sites this is what's going on on tumblr right now cumber dog girl ball sack hung queen but part of it they're getting mad at him because uh he like i guess doxxed her account you know because she was running hung queen as a you couldn't it was like a anonymous you know what

they're so used to talking tons of shit to elon musk without with everyone just patting them on the back and and you know they never expect that elon musk might were like reply in this scenario yeah they're not happy about this well Well, I mean, to be honest, obviously this is hilarious, but if you actually... The facts of the case is, if Elon Musk did say, I kicked you out for your other accounts

and they're these nine, that is doxing. That is the question. Is this anonymous or not? Can the CEO of Tumblr go in, find out all my accounts, and publicly post that these are my accounts? They are probably in their back end are all linked via IP,

and then the IP address, and then that's how they figure it out. I'm not saying how they didn't figure it out. I'm saying if Elon Musk quote tweeted Danny being like, well, that's funny because his other account is HungKing45, you would be like, well, you shouldn't be doing that. You have to do sort of take that side. Come after the hung king. That's what happens. Big titty cock girl.

These are fucking crazy. Big, no, this is the best. Okay. Here's two back to back. Big titty cock GF. Yeah. It's a big titty cock girlfriend. Big cock titty GF.

Oh. Really just trying to get every permutation of that available. Girl taint. So what the account is. Is this doxing though? I think he's trying to say you're using all these accounts as like a violation of our. Yeah, but they were not attached to the person's real life identity. That's what I'm saying.

Oh, gotcha. Gotcha. That's what I'm saying. Like if Jordan Peterson had like another anonymous account, like someone who works at Twitter can't be like, well, Jordan Peterson has a burner and this is what it is.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right, right. But I can, I do know what you mean. It does get a little murky because she's like, I got kicked off and he's like,

you didn't get kicked off. You got kicked off for other things. You got kicked off for having all these accounts and doing stuff against search terms and services. But if he posted,

it's kind of doxing. Yeah, I guess he could say you had all these other accounts but he didn't need to post the names he could just be like these you have all so everyone knows she's girl taint right now yeah all these other accounts and that's a violation and now everybody knows that she's an interest one musk mommy is that a elon musk thing probably what what else could a musk be i don't want to know smell right oh so i or was that must musk i guess musk is a smell yeah so she just like smells and she smells but she's a girl still these people are sick okay musk mommy

girl ball sack ball sack what was he saying she was doing if you're wondering what's going on wondering what's going on in tumblr a lot of girl ball sack girl ball sack oh we got ready for one shower sharts this girl tried every niche in the book i don't shower sharts that's uh i guess these are all violations of tumblr's terms of service i guess you can't do a shower start what world are we living in when you can't be sharting in your shower and selling that for monetary value yeah i guess that's when oh once you sell it i'm sorry i thought this was america but i can't sell videos of me sharting in the shower not very american of them not very american they're getting rid of shower sharts sapiosexual breeder okay cat girl hairball so i guess she dresses like a cat and she has hair that she

plays with maybe do you want to do a little bit of an investigation into some of these not really i was thinking maybe you're the investigation guy okay shower shards cat girl hair cat girl condoms so she has a condom on and she's wearing a cat girl she's sort of you have to i don't like really know how tumblr like works to me here's a good one cat girl cum sock so she's working pretty hard this this one cat girl ball sack so she has a lot of cat girl stuff cum spangler was the last one spangler that's pretty so anyways uh the he's sort of and the trans community's like really up in arms about this guy right now because they're not happy that he kicked her off he owns

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That is 50% off at babbel.com slash boyscast. That is spelled B-A-B-B-E-l dot com slash boys cast some rules and restrictions may apply but on this topic one of the craziest stories this hardcore band right they're called lorana this is the best isn't this wild sure this is so funny it's crazy yeah so basically the gist of it was the singer of the band really liked one of the other i don't know if he's a singer actually one of the guys in the band liked one of the other guys in the band's girlfriends and then he wanted to get him out of the picture yeah so we started dosing him with estrogen diabolical it's diabolical i would

like you should check in to see if you've been dosed with estrogen but and this guy didn't know what was going on he started going to the he was going to the doctor because he was you know feeling like there's something wrong with them because estrogen has a lot of bad effects you know it's not free to be a soy boy no no and he goes he was putting it in his pre-workout drinks uh he's putting estrogen in the pre-workout drinks and this is the statement that they've made we have decided to part ways with our vocalist diego due to the admissions of disturbing and concerning behavior towards one of our band members he has admitted to being obsessed with uh her his partner and has been attempting to

sabotage the relationship by cutting pre-workout. He frequently gifts from his job with high amounts of estrogen. He's been attempting to force a transition onto him. That was, imagine. Now listen, is this diabolical or the most romantic thing anyone's ever done for me? That is pretty romantic.

Are there any women reading this being like, I wish my man would put pre-workout in the guy that I was seeing? Yeah, who I don't really like. Yeah, this is like a real, I wouldn't say Romeo and Juliet kind of. Casanova. Yeah, this is some sort of, this is like a Taylor Swift song. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right here where he put.

Just a drip in your drink. Just a drip in your drink and it shrinks on your dink. And now you'll be with dave hey man if that works that's a bad precedent is that yeah you got to do that but you have to think the funny part is it's not that type of music it's yeah you were looking like a girl yeah i. I wonder how he found out. Dude looks like a lady! How'd they find out?

He got drunk and admitted to it. He was like blackout drunk and he started spilling the beans. Sounds like he's the chick, man. Can't keep his secrets when he's drunk. That's the ultimate girl move to be so drunk. Getting high on his own supply a little bit. He was getting high on his own supply

and then he got blackout drunk and started, well, that's a, you fucking. I won't believe what i know what happened and he was like probably you know okay well could you just shut up and he goes enjoy your estrogen how about that i would put your estrogen wondering why you're so moody lately yeah he and then he woke up oh you know yeah. You know? Yeah. My loose lips. Yeah, imagine that. Is that illegal what he did?

Yeah, I think there's some criminal stuff happening. Oh, yeah, definitely. Yeah, it must be. Sure. Yeah, you can't just do that. You can't put stuff in people's drinks. I can see that being like some chick serial killer who kind of goes to the bars and just astrogens up guys

drinks and stuff keeping your d low you're a do no no no no i'm gonna steal your girl yeah that's swooping he looks stronger and more so he looks stronger and more manly in comparison uh and then they go brackets stupid caveman mindset that makes zero sense i want to know how manly he looked to begin with, like the other guy. The hardcore guy? Some of those hardcore guys are jacked. Yeah, some of them are good. I guess he worked out.

I looked up the band. I couldn't find them. I don't think they're a big band. This tampering has caused confusion and thousands of dollars in medical bills in the past month trying to figure out what's wrong. We would not know any of this unless Diego had gotten way too intoxicated and ousted himself and then stated an admission to all this via text There's been many more disgusting details that have been left out for the sake of privacy and general censorship. They're called Lerona

I know I couldn't find them though because there's 4,000 bands called Lerona. Oh, that's a common common name here Well, they just lost they got I think into open audition for a new vocalist You think I think that this is the most press they've ever got well they just lost they got uh they're gonna do an open audition for a new vocalist you think i think that this is the most press they've ever got so if they can keep moving yeah this is a bad precedent for probably because they're seeing oh holy shit oh that guy's getting kicked out of the scene too the scene does not like stuff like that i don't know but that that band is probably first show after the scandal goes oddly sold out very interesting though that's a huge move i bet you there is some girls reading that saying it's so romantic though yeah there are people that

are micro dosing hormones because they're talking about like people that are like non-binary yeah and they're uh there's actually an article that they said uh what's it what it's like to be non-binary and have a feminine body and basically the girl's mad because everyone won't accept that she's non-binary because she has massive tits. She has huge jugs. She has massive cans. Not even binding them or anything. She's just out there flopping around. She dresses like a girl and she's got massive tits and she's pissed off

that people won't accept that she's not a boy or a girl. When they have to eyeball her and guess the pronouns on first guess, they keep going with she. You're a girl and she's like, well, you're wrong because I'm none of them i'm you know not a boy nor a girl they could call her ma'am but then there's a lot of people there's all these articles that they're saying like he basically micro dose hormones so you just give yourself a little something something yeah like you know girls just get a little bit of tea i get the girls that are like lesbos that you're just

like i want to fucking juice yeah i want it like that like just that little mustache to come in yeah just like the little i don't think if you were like yeah exactly i see that and i see that like anecdotally in the city i i think if you're like going hard lesbian and you're just like i'm gonna dose a little tea yeah i could see the utility of that you know what i mean you get a fuck you know a little bit stronger a little more energy you become the dominant you know less tears bumping everyone but if you're a dude and you're just sort of like trying to go androgynous and you're dosing yourself like with estrogen it's just gonna make you depressed and shit like that possibly yeah like it might give the girls a little roid rage though but they already have a lot of domestic violence anyway domestic violence capital it's funny though they're

the number one so if you're in a lesbo relationship and you're just like you're just constantly coming home and your girl's got like microdosing t-roid rage it's coming home like smashing walls you got both microdose comes home in her catcher's outfit punching walls construction outfit it just doesn't work it works at a coffee shop full construction outfit yeah yeah this girl is not happy that people keep saying she's a girl she goes um the funny thing is tends to happen when people look at me you see their eyes always trend downwards scoping out what you might call a traditionally feminine body i live in massive cans she's living in this body that must be torture though you're living in this body with

massive cans and you want people to see you as like sort of an androgynous blob yeah she i know she hates all the free drinks she's getting all the time and just all the she's drinking them crying people are being nice to her and stuff and just she hates it she goes well just treat me like a person i want to be treated like an androgynous blob that doesn't have big tits yeah yeah exactly you know i mean here's a you probably gotta yeah you get the reduction or you're gonna have to put a sweater on because the truth of the matter is they have binders for that specific thing if you're going to be jiggling around with these big tits and you're expecting guys not to see the tits

you're going to keep dreaming and you're going to be mad about the misgendering like where you're going to go hey sorry and realize you're a vape em yeah basically this story is massive honkers people keep seeing them and thinking I'm a girl when this elevator eye assessment is complete i like to think that i feel like guys don't do

that much they i feel like guys give it a uh an honest try to not be good looking at the boobs for sure yeah unless you're like the old i like the old creeps who have kind of just given up and they just go for it They don't care about it Do you see a lot of that where guys just go straight for the tits with the eyes Yeah on the subway Maybe if you have sunglasses on Sunglasses are good for that But guys on the subway will like

Some dudes are shameless Girls are walking by You ever been accused of peeking No I don't think so. I definitely have. Like, accused of it? Yeah.

Where someone goes, oh, you had a good luck, but... Yeah, basically. I don't think so. Some version of that. I've definitely been accused of peaking. Was it with, like, a stranger? I'm telling you. I mean, I don't know if I can think of some specific time, but I can probably think of

multiple times, like, in general. Well, I've been peaking. Try to think of a specific... Okay, I can think of some specific time, but I can probably think of multiple times in general. I've been peaking. Try to think of a specific. Okay, I can think of one. Maybe I'm sitting and peaking. I remember a girl that said that eyes up here to me. Were you in talks with her? Johnny said, you've had that happen to you?

Danny's trying to say it's never happened? I've never had a girl be like, eyes up here. Oh, really? Well, I respect women for their brains, and so I like to just focus on the brain area yeah that's what yeah that's just i like a big beautiful you're having sex with a girl and she has to be like eyes down here because you're looking at the ceiling where you've drawn a bunch of dicks she's like eyes down here i'm like i'm trying to get through this can you open your eyes

i'm definitely had a few eyes and ears. I feel like you try, too. Most of the time where you're just like, Lady, you got your fucking guns out. They're out. Yes, I'm sorry that I took a peek when they're out. And there's a biological hard wiring here thing that you're taking advantage of. It's so impossible.

It's so impossible to be looking so straight and you can see in your peripheries. They're just fucking bulging out. Oh, if they get in the peripheries, that's crazy. How are they not in the peripheries? I don't have a visor on my nose. If they're really getting in there, you're like... Yeah.

Maybe one day. It's impossible to not... You're seeing them. I mean, look at your line of vision. I could see. Yeah, that's true. I guess that's just going to. Well, I mean, yeah, put a sweater on that I'm not peeking.

But if you're wearing essentially like a bra in public, it's very difficult, at least in like a five-minute conversation, that I'm not going to pretend to look around and get caught. The real crazy thing is the chicks who are wearing something really revealing, and they go, what are you looking at? And you go, that's kind of the point of what you're wearing,

isn't it? I guess I'm looking at this slinky, slutty outfit that you put on so everyone can... Yeah, I'm looking at your top,

not what's behind the top. I just like clothes. Yeah, you have to pretend. You go, where'd you get that? Is that linen? I was looking at something similar for myself.

Is that a cotton poly blend? Well, this girl's not happy about it. And she says, when the eye assessment's done, I like to think that they switch flips over to the cis brain to the she-her setting. Although, they have to do the full evaluation. Got it.

It's a girl. Like, you can't just immediately see it all. What's she even saying? Well, she's saying a guy... Well, she's saying she walks into the room, you know, or sorry, it walks into the room and then people do the full assessment.

They go, hello. Terminator. Girl, locked and loaded. She, her. That's what she's saying they do. But I think it's like a microsecond before you probably make that analogy. Yeah, those big,

that's the thing. Those big ass, those titties are so big that they wouldn't even be, couldn't even be fake on a, you know, like they're huge. I'd have to see them. Did you see them?

Yeah, she had a photo of them. Okay. She had a photo, okay. That's not very interesting. Big guns, yeah. They're like massive. Yeah, I'd have to see

the outfits, what they're like, but they're a big gun. Well, it's basically just dressed like a girl. And yeah, she dresses like a girl and she doesn't't even have one of those weird non-binary haircuts. She's wearing women's clothing. She has long hair and big hips.

She's just wearing pants. She goes, I'm non-binary. I'm wearing pants. They're women's pants, though. Yeah, I know, but I think in her mind, she goes, that's... David Bowie would wear them. Yeah, they're just pants. Women's pants, but I guess in her mind, she goes, well, I'm not wearing a skirt.

Why would you think I'm a woman? Well, when this flip is switched, it takes a gargantuan amount of effort to reset it to neutral uh this is the switch when people are like you're a girl yeah once they've decided you're a girl then and you're like i'm neither yeah yeah that's everybody though it's definitely probably hard to make that switch flip back oh man i don't know what you know there's that girl who died in uh or that trans person who died got like beat up or whatever and then killed herself or something yeah yeah or whatever and that's like a big she had a big fight she was like getting bullied and then she like splashed water on the kids and they

like beat her up and then i think she killed herself the next day though yeah she didn't die from the beating or whatever but anyways i saw someone writing oh wait that's what happened yeah yeah they didn't beat her to death she oh i thought, wait, that's what happened? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They didn't beat her to death. Oh, I thought they did. Well, that's what the fucking lying news media would like you to think, Ryan. It did give me the impression that that happened. And then I saw people kind of saying like, well, what happened was she started the fight, but I didn't realize it was a suicide.

I thought it was a beating. I believe it was a suicide. Well, she died the next day. There was like, they interviewed her in the hospital and she was like, literally fine. How did she die then? I think that's like, she just killed herself. Oh. Yeah, herself oh yeah yeah i mean that's bad but you like you can't really yeah yeah it wasn't like three girls who you're gonna fight her to death oh that's what i thought that's what they were trying to make it out but anyways i saw something yeah it's like you know when people write those stories it's like you know you're lying of course and then i think they were

they are so quick to write the stories and then the next day the actual like body cam footage of the cop who interviewed her in the hospital came out and he's just talking to her she's fine okay what was the point but anyways someone was writing an article about this whole scenario so there's this non-binary person there's these three other people and they're like referring to the non-binary person as them but then they're also referring to the three people as them so it's just and i'm just like this is like fucking so confusing like because they always say oh it's nothing confusing about what's the problem and you're like i have no idea what's going on yeah you can't just throw these thems around referring to a group of three people this person and then just interchangeable you're like it's possible

to fall but anyways those your tits and dicks that's pretty good you go the one with the dick did this and the one with the tits did that oh i'm sorry yeah they go i don't want you to refer to the tits you go i think that's the one that's working for me right now yeah the one with the twig and berry we often think as a certain not quite male not quite female when we think of non-binary but uh she's sort of saying that uh many non-binary people don't meet that shallow criteria of just being in between so she's saying that there's a lot of non-binary people that are you look exactly like a girl every single fucking way yeah and they're all and they're all in the comedy scene for some reason but what is it then if it's not if it's not the in between what is it then just how you feel up

here i guess that's what she's trying to say it's all how you feel ryan even if i'm out in a low-cut dress and heels i expect a baseline level of respect where people don't think that i'm a guy or a girl and if you're not if you're not sure how to refer low-cut dress and heels and you go i do if you think i'm a woman you mistake me for a woman i am not gonna be happy about that uh listen the bottom line is if you can be motorboated it's gonna be you're gonna have a tough go just as a society not telling people to shut up enough just we gotta just you tell them danny it's gonna be like shut up shut up shut up yeah i think it's starting i should start following the chick around just that's that'll be my i'm just gonna live stream me

following around from a safe distance just just being like, shut up. Shut up. That's ridiculous. That was an Australia one that was pretty funny. So basically they do this like gay pride parade thing. Gay Mardi Gras situation. Yeah. What is it called?

Sounds like a Mardi Gras parade, annual LGBTQ or whatever. They have this big... Is this their Pride Parade? Is it different from the Pride Parade? I think it's the part of their Pride Parade, I think. They don't have a second Pride Parade. Well, they essentially do this gay and lesbian Mardi Gras march. Okay.

I don't know. I think they might have a bunch of different marches. They're multiplying. So they have this gay and lesbian march. And then basically there was these two gay dudes that were dating. And then the one gay dude, they like broke up and the gay dude started dating some other gay dude. And then the gay dude murdered them.

Yeah. And the gay dude that like murdered his like gay lover happened to be a cop. Sure. So they started saying it was like violence by police against gays. Yeah. And then they basically said the cops aren't allowed to come to the gay march anymore the george floyd stuff where they're like because of the the george floyd and they go like even in canada remember their george floyd happened they go we don't want cops at the gay pride yes but this would be like if like a guy got in a bar fight

with a black guy right and then you were like and he happened to be a cop you know what i mean and they were married and they were gay lovers, is actually the exact scenario. Well, it's basically like, the story is a guy murdered his husband, and he happened to be a cop, right? Yeah. But they're saying, like, they're kind of... He didn't marry, he didn't murder him because he was a cop.

Right. No, the cop's the one who did the murdering, and the spin on the internet is essentially like, there's like cop violence against gays, right? Sure was like well no gay guy murdered another gay guy he just happened to be a cop so then they go i don't think they're gonna see that nuance they go i mean how nuance it's kind of a far-fetched way to pitch it the other way of course i'm just like i mean imagine like if you get if you get in a bar fight against like a firefighter and we said there's firefighter violence against podcasters like it's not what happened yes but if we're trying to gain sympathy

and more so if you were bang if you and a gay firefighter are having sex sounds hot so you're banging this dude sounds good and then you know you try to uh you try to flip it around and he knows that you're always supposed to be the bottom and he's the top so you get in a fight with a gay firefighter and you're gay lover with a gay firefighter gay firefighter kills you we don't it's now like no firefighters allowed in podcasting because firefighters are violent against podcast it's just like not yeah it's nonsense it's like it's just so funny though because they like took that story and like ran with it like gay like cops yeah are like going after gay guys to kill them oh yeah that's not yeah they're like there's cops on the loose

killing all gay guys to be safe. But, I mean, I might not be the first person to say that gay guys might be a little dramatic. That's not news. Well, sometimes they're so dramatic they kill their fucking ex. Hey, I mean, there's domestic... Nobody likes domestic violence,

but it's just the nature of life i guess and by the cops have a little bit of a loose trigger so maybe there's some part of that but it's not the only job like teachers also have that same fucking authority complex where they don't like things going their own not going their way it goes back to every single thing like you know when trans people say you know trans people get murdered or whatever and then you're like well so you think like trans people should be the only group of people who don people get murdered or whatever, and then you're like, well, so you think, like, trans people should be the only group of people who don't get murdered? Like, every group of people gets murdered.

And just when you have a certain mass of people, you're kind of going to start having a thing from every group. People are going to get murdered? Yeah, cops are going to get murdered. Cops are going to do murdering. They're going to do them at work. Well, another way you could spin this is, like, gay guys need to fucking take it easy. They're out control yeah like look at gay gay guys are murdering yeah like

another thing is you could say like gay guys are murdering like you take it that way you can do the equally uncharitable off opposite side it's like yeah you see these gays there's an epidemic of gays murdering people in australia so you better watch out who didn't you go who do they murder they go i don't even know i don't even know just two bros someone did not deserve there's a gay guy murdering two bros is the like if you're gonna say it's a cop murdering gay guys you could also say it's a gay guy murdering two bros yep yeah you gotta watch out so vice magazine is officially shutting i i don't i feel like every six months there's like a new thing about how they're shutting down they are i think they just keep selling off the scraps for parts and they

keep sort of re-emerging because like i guess the names were something so they keep like selling and re-emerging but they basically said they have massive layoffs yeah i just went to their website and they're shutting down the news site uh well you know what so i went to their website and they have stuff up that's from like a week ago yeah well every time they say they're getting shut down and they kind of seem to i think keep sticking around the so if you go to vice.com right now their like banner main image is from february 22nd which is a week ago so i think it it's, I think they finally did it. You think that in the last- Ding dong, the witch is dead.

The witch is dead. The witch is dead. Ding dong, the witch is dead. My tenure at Vice will no longer. So you think that- No, this is legit. Like they're not,

I mean, they're not creating content. Not like they were before, but they're not like, you know, their website has not been updated in a week. Vice.com. can we hire a few

of the vice employees as studio janitors coffee studio baristas that would be no we hire we hire ex-vice employees to write advice articles for us to make fun of yeah you go fuck we go we want to what this kind of actually fucked us over we want to hire you for the boys guys we go we just keep doing exactly what you're doing you don't have to come into work then we end up being like editors you go yeah your stuff about racism and whatever i didn't really sense that you felt that we have a bunch of vice writers that are just in the other room then we hire them to do exactly what they're doing they're just over there typing on the typewriters and then they come run it over to us and we make fun of it it's like a dude we like literally said of like a model t production

line like remember that um i love lucy with the bonbons or whatever writing articles about that they're coming out so fast that we can't take fun of them. Like, they're starting to, like, pile up and shit. Slow down, guys. Okay, we got podcasting. This race is just hot off the presses. I wonder what they're all going to do. Just get regular jobs, I guess.

No way they're, like, maybe one percent of them will get a job in journalism yeah the way journalism is going like you don't go from vice to new york times vice i mean journalism is not flourishing yeah like uh editorial journalism is not like it's not a uh supply and demand is not in the demand category is dwindling in the supply category is pretty high. And there's no money in it like for the actual publishers. So no, I think a lot of these places are having trouble figuring out how to make money. Oh, for sure. I mean, they're not making money.

You know what? They were probably kind of hoping like a lot of these people were probably like, we just got to make it through to if Trump wins again, and then we're back in fucking business. That's that would be so funny i mean yeah there's gonna be some journalists just well someone's gonna buy vice vice like their goodwill for vice tangent you know whatever i mean it's not worth zero yeah exactly it's not worth zero dollars we'll take a crack at it it's i think that's what kind of keeps happening someone keeps they bought like for someone bought it for like was it it 500 million, Fox or Rupert Murdoch? And then he sold it for like $10 million or something.

Ooh. Yeah. It's gotta hurt. Yeah. He's still Rupert Murdoch. Hey, Tom made his money and got the fuck out, man. Hell yeah. Tom's the real winner in social media.

No. Although he didn't make as much money as some of the, you know, the people they make now. No, no, that was, yeah. He didn't get... But I have a Vice article, and to be honest, it wasn't even that crazy of an article,

but I thought we would do an homage by going through one of their articles, but it was actually kind of a funny thing. Read it, and I'll do it. In the arms of an angel... Landlords are enforcing no-sex tenancy clauses now. After moving into a shared house with three other girls, Lucy started to notice signs of communal areas

banning music after 11 p.m., house parties, and crucially, loud sex. We're all girls, and he starts lecturing us about the use of today being hypersexual. So apparently landlords can write into their clauses no there's no sex so the thing this is no loud sex well this is where obviously and then we go

okay well what's loud sex this is where it gets interesting but i guess the actual situation is like for example if you rented out a room in your house and you were like a family what you can say is no guests after 12 p.m yeah and people either take that deal or they don't right so apparently a lot of these people that don't have that situation like i can understand if you're like i'm moving someone in with me and it's a family it's like hey this is the deal take it or leave it but it's cheap because of it and if it wasn't cheap you just wouldn't take the deal right or if you're like a student living with a family or whatever but if it's cheap because of it. And if it wasn't cheap, you just wouldn't take the deal. Right. Or if you're like a student living with a family or whatever.

But if it's like a single apartment, I guess you could say no being loud. Like, well, I don't know why you'd specify sex. Well, there's like a law that says, you know, there's a, you know. But it does sound like this landlord's pushing it. Yeah, he's trying to make sure he doesn't want loud sex specifically.

But there's a way around this. And apparently the landlord came in and he was lecturing them about youths being hypersexual and telling us they need to save themselves for marriage. Okay, what happens if you're the landlord, okay? And then a couple comes to want to rent your place and you're against loud sex, but they're both deaf. Say that again? The people are deaf. The couple, they want to rent the place. You go, no loud sex, but they're deaf.

So you know it's going to be super loud, actually. You know it's going to be... Like really loud. And they don't even hear it. You don't know what you're going to be able to do. But then you're like, if I enforce it, then they're going to take me to the disability court. You're fucked up. You just need that couple, and then you go, this clause is gone yeah he's gonna be fucked end of the clause well it's

not just this guy apparently he's doing it but this guy is extra funny because he said uh i thought how are we even gonna police that but the landlord does inspections himself and he mentions it when he visits so he sort of comes in he takes a break from his breast inspecting side gig yeah basically looking for cum stains he's got like his he's got a nickel and he's just like scraping off the thing he goes what the fuck is this csi black light yeah he's sniffing the sniffing the sheets like what's this what is yeah finds a condom wrapper he has a fucking conniption right disturbingly some tenants have had a no sex clause actually written to their agreements sometimes it's expressed overtly other times it's disguised as a ban on overnight guests

but this is something uh that they so this guy has said he's feared it in the past and he's had two different landlords try to ban or respect restrict sex on the property he privately rented one landlord made a comment about the cues of men always outside the house it's safe to say i did not make people cute to fuck me the comment felt homophobic so now let me go on this guy listen at first you're like we got this creep landlord that's coming in smelling our floors looking for condoms making sure there's you know no evidence of sexual intercourse now you're saying four landlords in a row have been like this is out of control where they're selling the place they're like we don't even want to be this guy's landlord anymore they're selling the place this guy's bringing 19 guys and spraying

the walls having like orgies where you put the mask on cues of men maybe it wasn't cues of men but it's you're saying you have back-to-back landlords that are like yeah i mean i've lived in a bunch of places i'm not unfortunately i've never had a landlord complain although i did get kicked out of an airbnb once there you go before having guests over after hours if you know what i'm saying yeah did it yeah i did get kicked out of an airbnb once for that okay there you go the guy after that. Yeah. Did it get kicked out of an Airbnb once for that? Okay. There you go. The guy came in and he goes, listen, you saw the lease on the Airbnb.

Any midnight guest that comes in here, Dave gets his taste first. If you don't want Dave to get the taste, you should have thought of that before you took the agreement. I actually was in, when I was in Istanbul, actually, I picked up this girl and I was in, I didn't get, when I was in Istanbul, actually, I picked up this girl and I was staying at some hotel.

They have weird rules there or whatever hotel I was at. And then I was trying to bring a girl back and they were like, like, listen, the bed can barely hold you.

One in the morning and they were, I was trying to bring a girl back and then they were like, as I walked past the front desk, they were literally like, you have to pay us 100 euros. What?

And I was like, what? Boning tax? Like literally a bone tax. At 1 at 1 a.m they go that might just be the guy that worked there saw sucker in this no no it was like i was like because i put up a huge stink and they were like what did they say it was for bringing a second person they go they go no you're only allowed one person in the room that's what you paid for and i go it's temporary pal she's not staying with me and they they were like, no. And then we ended up going to her house. What a cock block.

Oh, you didn't pay up. I was like, fuck that. It was ridiculous. She's like, I live five minutes from here. And I go, okay, I'll just go to your house. That is funny, though, bringing a girl home. Fast forward to you yelling and screaming at the Airbnb guy. It wasn't.

It was a hotel. It's going to be five minutes tops, and she'll be gone. What don't you understand? She's just some dumb whore I found at a hotel. It's going to be five minutes tops and she'll be gone. What don't you understand? She's just some dumb whore I found in a bar. Look, I'll just use her up and just give her the boo. I give you a 1,000% guarantee she will not be staying. Look, what time is it now? 2 a.m.?

She's going to be gone by 2.20. I promise. Tops. I got to get some shut eye. You are not going to hear a peep. I assure you that. She's not even going to be gone by 2.20. I promise. Tops. I got to get some shut eye. You are not going to hear a peep. I assure you that. She's not even going to like it. Yeah, yeah.

She's just standing there. He's like, no, 100 euro. Yeah, interesting. It's interesting that you didn't pay up, though. I got to shake down. Well, she was just like, let's go to my house. Yeah, a better option came up. I mean, I would have.

If that was it, she goes, well, I don't live near here or whatever, I'd go, all right. What would you do if you did pay the $100? Then as you see the girl leaving, you see the guy slip her her $50, and you just paid for a prostitute,

and that's a scam they got running. That would be an interesting scam. That would be an interesting scam. I've been like, yeah, well, game's the game. Yeah. At least just chalk it up

to game's the game. So the landlords, when you say that multiple landlords are uh doing this because i don't think i've ever heard that but i guess there is certain places where you just your rooms like too close to other people's rooms and you're just like can you keep it down my first place in in uh toronto in parkdale it was like the second level of this house and this girl lived underneath. Have you ever had people that tell you to keep it down while you're jacking off? No. But she was even worse. She was even worse.

I would come home at two in the morning, and I would just be walking upstairs. And she was underneath, and she's literally like, hey, can you stop getting texts? You're really loud. I'm like, I'm just walking. I'm not stomping around. Interesting. I'm just walking. your landlord would do that this well she owned this huge house in parkdale and then we just rented like the top floor or whatever me my brother but she was and she was

underneath i guess and she was but she was ridiculous i'm like what i can't walk yeah like you own this like 120 year old house i don't know it's crazy ever comment on the boning no that was dead silent. She goes, I hear a lot of crying. What's that about? I go, could you keep the crying down? The interrogation didn't stop there though. They then tried to call me and say that there was silicone lube marks on the floor.

Well, this, this guy's saying he's never spilled the silicone lube. He's sort of saying the landlord's fake news. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't use it. I'd like to hear the landlord's side of this story. Well, the question is, if I was like a bit of a Perry Mason type of go, well, do you use silicone lube? Right? Because if you say you use it and you go, well, I didn't spill it,

you go, okay, well, but you use it. He's not making that up. But if he doesn't do this, a landlord poking around and being like, scratching the floor and being like, this is lube. I know this is fucking lube. He's got a magnifying glass.

That is crazy. That's insane, yeah. But anyways, they're saying that there should be a right to shag, Bill. Well, the thing is, I don't know if it's like- Being loud is the issue. You're never going to be able to fight that one.

No, but- And listen, it's an issue I've fought my whole life. Yeah, You're never going to be able to fight that one. No, but... And listen, it's an issue I've fought my whole life, being told to keep it down. Of course. But again, there's... I don't know if it's like this in England, but if you can't put something illegal into a lease, it's not enforceable.

But being quiet apparently is. Well, after 11, that's just like, that's the bylaw of wherever you live, right? Like, you can't like... But apparently you can have leases to say no guests yeah no guests is potential yeah right yeah so i guess i don't know but can you you can't say you like what my mom can't come over i mean again you're right i'd probably not probably enforcing it would be very hard my mom's not allowed over at my house yeah and they would say no specifically your mom i don't think that's legal specifically your mom because it's awkward for me to have to see her after he ran a train on her

that night because yeah i don't love those p cam sessions when your mom's over so there's this woman and she wrote this article essentially being like if your husband's a piece of shit how to have an affair without actually having an affair but you don't want to have an affair but you do but yeah you mentally want to be you mentally want to stick it to him i'm having an affair nine ways to have an affair without having an affair yeah and it is really the writings of a crazy woman it's a sad woman but also just like an actual psycho yeah it's just like it's sad here are the nine ways so the first one is date yourself what would you do if you took yourself on a date for pure fun of it so there's lots of girls that have been writing date take a date on yourself ones but

under the context is extra crazy under the context of like and that i'll see how you like this yeah yeah well he's like what are you up to and she's like i'm on a date i'm on a date he goes with who uh myself yeah exactly someone who actually respects me so i but you're i guess if you're trying to make him jealous like you're not really having the date it's more you stomping out being like just made i'll have a dinner reservation for one like you know you're kind of making a whole show you can and you can kind of make him concerned for your mental well-being like if you go i'm gonna date and you go what and you go with who and she goes myself and go oh god yeah something really technically not cheating and you go that's true it is something and then the second one is dress up

for yourself pick at least one outfit five days a week that'll make you feel sexy so that's i guess this is her being like i don't see how you're cheating by putting the outfit on but i guess if you're really putting them out there you're like walking around the streets with your tits out being like not not cheating technically. I mean. Kind of like, I'm not touching you, I guess. I suppose. It's still not cheating.

Let yourself flirt with men. So letting yourself flirt with men, I guess, is what it is. Yeah. Still not cheating. Probably. I imagine the guy's not going to love that. Men are going to take notice when you start to dress up.

Let those feelings be seen in admiration and soak it in. If you're approached, you can assure the men that you're taken because you're dating yourself. That's psychotic. Move your body. Find a time when no one's home and put the headphones on and just dance. So now you're sort of dancing in your own home in a sexy outfit, being like, shh.

There's some weird point, too, like line with this, where if you're the guy, you your own home in a sexy outfit being like, shh. There's some weird point too, like line with this, where if you're the guy, you go, fuck, this is insane, but it's what you need to do to get her out of my hair. It's like a good deal kind of at some point. Well, you come home and you hear the music, you hear her dancing up a storm.

You go, okay, I'm back out. You go, I might have another coming hours before I come home. I'm like, you're working late tonight. She's on a date with herself. Yeah, you're just like, open to do it she's doing it in the context of cheating where she's kind of like at home by herself dancing being like but my husband's gonna be home any minute like oh my should we be doing this not a crazy thing to do

but i'm a married woman touch your body so give yourself a massage give yourself a massage it's funny unless you have one of the massagers that do that but just sort of one of these to yourself not technically cheating and you're i guess if you're in front of him i guess a lot of it is like to what extent are you doing the thing is you're not but you're if you say hey i'm not cheating and then you're acting crazy then i mean he gets kind of the message being sent but it's just yeah a lot of this is just like nine things i do yeah but also just like be crazy and make your husband like re-evaluate the relationship a bit because he's you're you know yeah this might be coming to an end here's 10 things that i do it's just attention this is like attention getting how to get some attention

well writing love letters to yourself is another one and then leaving them around the house who's that from it's from me like i'm worried at some point when you're writing yourself letters on the regular it gets you're probably pushing it a little bit yeah um psychos imagine that your girl found a love letter and you're what the fuck and there's like lipstick on it and everything and no one appreciates you you are so great yeah you're the best and then it's from you and you go okay i'd rather you be banging a dude than whatever the fuck this is seriously this is the gayest shit ever okay um before we go here, I have something. So, this is a potential

gang that Danny could join. Ooh, I've been looking for a gang. Yes. So, this is a gang, ladies and gentlemen, and they make YouTube videos, so something you like to do. Okay. And what they do is they go around to different restaurants,

try the food, and they make videos on whether the chairs can fit them. Have you ever been seated at a restaurant and found that you couldn't fit comfortably in the seat or booth? Hey, everyone. We're Plus Size Park Hoppers, and we range in sizes from 2X to 5X. Like this video and follow us for more Plus Size Disney content. We're starting a new dining series called If I Fit, I Sit. In this series, we'll go to different restaurants on disney property and beyond

showing you the types of seating they offer whether or not we find it comfortable and we'll also review the food we know yeah you will yeah chairs with arms on them and being anxious about whether or not you'll fit our goal is to help you feel more at ease and to show you that there are accommodations out there with one of us being gluten free, we'll also highlight the gluten free. Do you know what this reminds me of? Because you know what? Like, it's so crazy where you can't fit in seats in restaurants in America. That's a good point.

You know what I mean? Like, this isn't like, oh, we're going around Europe and this is real narrow. This is America. This is like those types of fish where the bigger the tank you get them, the bigger the fish becomes. You know what I mean? Like if you get it a giant pool, it'll become like a giant huge. And this is actually what they're doing.

They go, yeah, we just, everybody's getting bigger. They're just getting bigger. I mean, if it's not a wake-up call that you're going to a restaurant and you need to do research on if you're going to be able to fit in chairs. In Florida. You're in Florida. At Disneyland at a restaurant and you need to do research on if you're going to be able to fit in the chairs. In Florida. You're in Florida. At Disneyland at a restaurant, you can't fit in Florida? It is a crazy thing to be just watching tutorials on which chairs can fit.

Like if you go, I can't fit in any chair in Disneyland, that means you can't fit in any chair in the world. Like there's no chair, no restaurant in the world you can go to. Well, also it's sort of an excuse to go eat at nine places in a day. And you're't fit in any chair in the world. There's no chair, no restaurant in the world you can go to. Well, also, it's sort of an excuse to go eat at nine places in a day, and you're just like, do you just have nine meals? You go, we're reviewing the chair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a chair review. You go, yeah, but

you ate dinner at all? Yes, we throw in a food review. Yeah, we like an app or an entree. We throw in an app or an entree, but this is a chair-focused YouTube channel. Have they ever broken any? That would be probably good for their channel. I hope they have a nice slow-mo of them just like...

No, I mean, you just see this. You see the girl sit down. But she comes in, they come in like sort of a reviewer team, right? So she puts in, comes in the napkin, sit down, breaks the chair. Everyone's like, are you okay? And then she just pulls out her pen.

I'm fine. You guys are. Oh, that's going to cost you. That's going to cost you some money. Anyways, a load of the turkey. I mean, that's the thing. Probably realistically. I'll sit on the floor.

Super fat people are the highest ticket spenders. I know, that's the thing. Probably realistically. I'll sit on the floor. Super fat people are the highest ticket spenders. I know. You do want them. You probably don't want to go, fuck, if we lose all the super fat people, we just can't come to a restaurant. Well, I guess if you have low chairs, it's because you want hot people there. The most depressing thing is, you know, in Vegas by where Skanks was. Where they have couches

at the buffet? No, they have that restaurant on Fremont, the Heart Attack, what's it called? The Heart Attack Grill., they have that restaurant on Fremont, the Heart Attack, what's it called? Heart Attack Grill. The Heart Attack Grill. And they have like a postal scale outside of it. And if you weigh more than 350 pounds, you eat for free. What the fuck?

Why? We walked by it a million times. Why are they giving free food to 350 plus? I guess because it's fairly rare, even still, to be over 350 pounds. But why do they want that? I just think they're branding and they think it's funny but then you see like people weighing themselves outside and like the worst thing is when someone goes they go this is a funny thing to bring your girl to

and say you bring into a place where she can get her meal for free and then just like blindfold her and then take her there get sit you have to stand here and then get her up and then she then she takes the blindfold off when she's looking at her way yeah and then and then she goes okay this is embarrassing i thought we were gonna get a free meal here you think there's ever been a guy who was like 340 and he's like fuck i'm like so close he put some ball bearings in his pockets or something well is there anyone that's just like weighs 350 that just goes eats there for free all the time or do you get like one free meal per fat yeah i wonder you can't just eat there for life although life's short so in those scenarios that's crazy yeah but i saw this one like tiktok of a guy who was just like when he was so proud of himself and

you're like he like walks over there he's like 440 and just gets wild he goes like yeah like that's mental yeah well thank you everyone for subscribing to the Patreon and everyone who subscribed and watched our competition. It was a battle for the ages. It was a battle for the ages. And we talked about it on the Patreon too. We went more in depth on the pains and the toils of being professional competitive eaters such as ourselves.

Part of me thought that I would never eat a hot dog again, but then I had a hot dog yesterday. Liked it? Man, 7-Eleven has good hot dogs. The man is back. Underrated dog. Agree, they got taquitos, 7-Eleven. I don't like the taquitos, but the dogs are great.

I get them at the airport sometimes when I hate myself. Yeah, underrated dog. Peace. Later.