The Boyscast with Ryan Long - Boys For President!

Episode Date: November 6, 2020

patreon.com/theboyscast  Let me tell you why the boys will prevail in this election no matter what. and also why some prostitutes want you to vote Biden. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's important to remember that no matter who's elected, the boys will prevail. And you can tell our friends, and they can have my things when we're dead. But we don't end forever. But we don't end forever. And you can tell our friends. Welcome to the Boyscast with Ryan Long. First podcast exclusively for the boys. I got my long 2020 shirt.

I assume the write-ins will be coming in. There's going to be a big catastrophe. Bigger than now, because right now they're counting the votes. A lot of monkey business going on. A lot of funny business. Who would have predicted that? Honestly, when I was, I went to sleep, I said, this should be a smooth, smooth sailing. They'll get the election going. My number one take out of all this is just watching everything. You're like, man, people still don't really get why half the country likes Trump. I was doing all these live streams. And you go, all the things I was watching you.

And I'm going to talk about that a little later with some more detail. But first and foremost, I just want to say that my internet spectrum has been down all day. And this is what Biden's America is already starting to look like. If it does, you know, no matter who happens, we don't know who's going to win yet. But we do know that even now that Biden's already started to go in, my internet's down. Thank you, Joseph Biden. Now, I guess if it was Bernie's America, we'd all be lining up in lines for our Internet. We would say, please, sir, give me some Internet. People are anxious right now.

You've seen people. It's been pretty insane to watch my Facebook and people go, I can't sleep. I don't know what's happening. You know, Antifa is sitting there looking at their batons and they go, do we? Don't we? It's a will they, won't they with the Antifa batons and the windows of small businesses. They're all boarded

up. People are anxious. And I just want to say, listen, if you're worried that Trump might win, something you can take solace in is that Stephen Colbert is going to fucking let him have it. If he wins, Colbert is going to fucking let him have it. If he wins, Colbert is going to give him the old one too. Chelsea Peretti is going to give him a little business. He'll be on the

floor. She'll come in. Alec Baldwin's going to be like, you know what? I'm clocking in for work. Alec Baldwin's going to put his hard hat on and get ready to just give Trump, just fucking training on Trump. Like he's a puppet, just using his head like a speed bag verbally. So that's, if you're a, if you're a big like Biden head and you're worried, just know the celebrities there and they'll make sure it never happens again too. They got your back. You can count on them. Now, I personally put $500 on Donald Trump. Not this was not necessarily an endorsement. I saw the odds. Vegas odds were big, big against Trump.

And I go, I see it as 50 50. And then at the first Vegas was trying to pay me out. You know, they're like, you know, we'll give you 700 if you take it right now. And I said, no, no, no. And was my buddy in canada because you can't vote you can't uh uh like gamble in new york or whatever so i had to find a guy to do it and me and my buddy but 500 or whatever and then he was all he's very low risk tolerance so he's calling me uh yesterday and he's like they're offering to pay us out like 200 bucks each or something and i saw right now they're a big favorite for him, but it's going back and forth. And I told him that we go down with this ship and he goes,

why don't we just take the payout and not tell anyone I'll take the payout. And then I'll bet it on football this week. And I think we have a better shot. I go, I go, no, we go down with the ship. If I don't have my principles, I said, I go, listen, I think this is a good bet. I'm going to go down with the ship. And I thought it would be funny if Trump win because people would be so mad. And the fact that I won money, in my opinion, would be hilarious. Like they're like, this is the worst. And I'd be like, I just won a thousand bucks.

To me, that would be funny. I cleared my schedule for making liberal meltdown compilations. So I'm glad, you know, I get to do my podcast. I'm making videos. I thought I was going to spend the entire time in a lab. I mean, to edit compilations for 4chan. So boy, am I glad. I would say that whoever you vote for, whoever you thought was going to win,

a lot of people, anyone that's having a big like, who's it going to be right now? I think the most important thing to realize is that the boys will prevail no matter what. You know, you have to think of yourself like no matter what the scenario is, whoever the president is, especially when you're, you know, you know, live a long life, you're going to see all these different presidents. If you're one of those people right now that is having some sort of oh, we're screwed, you're not. And if you are, you need to reevaluate other things. Who's the president of the country shouldn't affect your success? You might want to change something, you know.

You might want to make some changes. I might need new internet now that Biden's America is already starting to shut me off. They're already starting to make their moves. Now that Biden's America is already starting to shut me off. They're already starting to make their moves. Either way, one thing we can be clear on is that girls are going to be fucking on one either way. Women as a gender are going to be on one no matter what happens in this election. If Trump wins, you know, they're going to be on one flipping out.

If Trump loses, they're going to come in like, there's going to be some fucking changes around here. You suck my dick. Start now. So I think you got to make sure there's going to be a time. The boys, it's a time to get your girls under control. It's a time not to take any shit. I don't see a scenario where the girls aren't on one, no matter who the outcome is. Even though girls, I think 55% of girls voted for Trump, which is fucking hilarious.

Or white women or something like that. And then all the black people went up, all the sort of stuff. What I think is going to happen is you're going to want to lock your girl up, throw away the key, stay out. You're going to want to stay out that night, Let her simmer off, put a lock on the door, and then you come home. You say, we done? We done with this election business? Okay, come out.

I'll pour you some cereal. No, I can't take the handcuffs off. I'd love to, but I feel like you're going to be on one. So other than getting your chick under control, you don't want to spend all your time thinking about this election. I watched the Comedy Store doc the other night. Very cool, you know? And a lot of the boys

have been following me for a long time or not. Sorry, not that long, but it maybe it seems like long now, like almost a year or whatever. But since I moved here, but when I came here, I read, you know, I was like following all this stuff. I knew all the documentaries about the Comedy Store and I knew all the books and then I watched it now a year later and I'm like, oh, I know that guy. That guy's been retweeting my stuff like this and that. I was like, oh, like, yeah, if they did like a thing on the New York comedy scene, I was like, oh, yeah, I worked. I'm part of the thing. So there's cool things.

Very cool. I recommend watching it. It's very like the guy who nailed it because he was a comedian. Then he became this big director. And then he went back and made this documentary. And most of the things he says are right. He's left all the bullshit out of it. And he's kind of telling the story properly he knows how to make a good documentary highly recommend that but what a weird time we might have our first girl

vice president i don't know if that's true but it may be and i'm coming from canada like i said girls are going to be on one because i know what it's like to have a female. We had a female prime minister. I haven't done it again. Fool us once. And what happens is this is the kind of stuff you're going to get. Because I was just in Austin. I'm going to talk about that in a second. Because we have a girl prime minister right now, if you're familiar with Justin Trudeau. But it's all like, we should give every homeless person a mansion.

And then you go, who pays for the mansion? They go, whoa, you don't care if you're familiar with Justin Trudeau, but he's all like, we should give every homeless person a mansion. And then you go, who pays for the mansion? They go, what? You don't care about poor people like the girl, the girl like politics. It's all just like, you know, let's put the put homeless people in like hotels. And you're like, oh, this guy's poor. You like give him a trillion dollars. And you're like, every poor person's got a trillion dollars. You're like, well, OK, they literally want to give them like each a house.

And you go, OK, I'll take a house. And house and you're like well you don't have to be homeless and you're like okay i'll like uh close up my lease then give me a house and i'll keep pocket the money and they're like like how do you prove that you're homeless is it a smell test is that what's going on they take a sniff they go ah not homeless enough come in come back when you've completely pissed yourself. Justin Trudeau recently made a law in Canada that when you get married, this is true. When you get married, you consummate the marriage by going back to the hotel room and having another guy come in and fuck your wife. That's the kind of laws he's making. You need to cut to comment. You need to cut, cut and say the marriage. That's how

it works. And the guy that you go in to get your You need to cuck, cuck and say the marriage. That's how it works. And the guy that you go in to get your marriage certificate, they go, we need your signature and the bull signature. That's how they do it. That's what it looks like when you have a girl in the white house. We'll see. I think that there's going to be positives and negatives, but I think that there's going to be no matter what, there's going to be positives and negatives, but we know why people vote for Biden. Like, you know, it's pretty obvious. They're like, Trump's the worst.

A vote for Biden was a vote against Trump for the most part. So we all know that. But why do people vote for Trump? And they really still haven't figured it out. I'm watching half my wall on every social platform. And this is from a lifetime of people. This is people I went to high school with, people from the band scene, people from Toronto comedy,

people from New York comedy, People from the industry. Family. Still, these racists, they don't get it. And so in this thing, you know, right now, the black people both went up. So like women and men voted more for him this time. And I think black women, it like doubled, which was still not a ton. But the problem is if I don't know if you guys have been paying attention, but from Chelsea Handler, you know, even Biden said himself, they've made it very clear that if you don't vote for Joe Biden, you're not black. So I'm sure that all these people are finding out the hard way as their skin sort of peels off onto white that that was true. Like they thought they were fucking around. finding out the hard way as their skin sort of peels off onto white that that was true like they thought they were fucking around little pimp little pimp right now is looking at his skin and saying fuck dude you know his do-rags coming off he's trying to go to the barber shop and he's like can i get a fade in the barbers like i can't fade lettuce dude he's curling up into hockey hair

that's the kind of shit that he's dealing with. Now that he's like a white dude, he's going back to his family and what's up, man, trying to say the N word. And they're like, what the fuck? Who is it? You're like,

it's me, a little pimp. And they go, why is your skin white? He goes, I know they warned me. They warned me. This is like the kind of stuff that the reason people voted against Joe Biden.

If you're like a normal person that, and I watch people go both ways. Normal people go Trump well, normal people go the other way. But everyone knows the one. The reason why people voted for Donald Trump, for a lot of them, is they fucking hate all the shit that's been infected with life. And they saw him as standing up to it to some degree i've watched this uh this was two days ago i'm in a lot of directing and editing facebook groups and in that editing group there's now a coup that the moderators uh they don't like the way that the moderators talk to women when they comment and this woman goes on this big rant and she goes this editing group's not feminism positive and literally it's fucking

bunch of autistic editors asking questions about fucking editing in premiere pro people literally are like hey uh i the frame rate's off on this thing and there's like a glitch has anyone experienced that before and then everyone will be like they're kind of sassy with each other because you know how nice people are and they're like did you even check the file blah blah blah and then these girls are literally there's a coup being like i think we should replace the mod and it's like everywhere i remember when i was doing my sketches in toronto i was part of a cycling group because i wanted to post this sketch there because i made this sketch about cycling and i thought these guys would like it. And in the cycling thing, they were, there was all these people posting articles that there

weren't enough like women in the cyclist magazines. And then like on, in the, they would be like the, they would post some like ride, you know, where they all go a hundred miles and they would go only 80, 80% of men did this ride and only 20% of women, which just goes to show that it's sexist. And you go, yeah, or women don't want to cycle because they're too busy doing their nails. Like that's what they think. It's like, you know, they go there and it's like a girl can't cycle. And it's like, no, that's not what happened.

So, you know, and this stuff's been happening and there's lots and lots of it. They see big tech, Jack Dorsey. They see all of these companies trying to hide something. You know, it's like if you come, if your fucking chick comes home and she's like trying to look at your phone and go, Whoa. And she goes, well, what are you doing? What are you, what's, what's the big deal? And you go, nothing. Wait, we're looking at my phone. Well, yeah, you got to play it cool, homie. You go on to it. Nothing. You, you know, oh yeah, you can look. And then you switch it to something else.

Boys phones. But that's the kind of stuff when you see every company. There's this, this, Jack Dorsey, fucking Zuckerberg. All these people just constantly trying to suppress the other side. And you go, what are these people up to? It's hard not to. They don't trust these people. A lot of people don't have trust for them.

And I saw, you know, when Jack Dorsey did his speech, the one thing I separate from that I wanted to say is he had his beard or whatever. And he was giving his speech saying, like, you know, we made a mistake, but blah, blah, blah. We're not trying to censor. I literally looked at Trump's Twitter. His six tweets, four of them are censored. Like the president. They're like, no, he can't, they're like, nah, he can't speak. But another thing that I did think was one, Jack Dorsey kind of looks like me. And

two, everyone hates the way Jack Dorsey looks. That was a little funny. I was literally like, Jack Dorsey kind of looks like me, dude. And then someone fucking else messaged and they're like, you look at, you should do a Jack Dorsey sketch. You look at him and look at the comments. They're like, what a punchable face. I hate the way this guy looks, look at his stupid face, fucking nose ring, and I was like, well, there you go, here are some of the memes that I saw coming out, and it's like the fundamental not understanding what people's problems are, so this is what someone says, vote as if your brother is gay, your house is on fire, your skin is not white, your son is transgender, your spouse is an immigrant, your water is unsafe to drink, your neighborhood is flooded, your

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Your best friend is a veteran with PTSD. And it's such a perfect way to describe what these people think. And I actually like the person who posted this. It's like a chick and it's nothing against her. It's it's just this one-sided view of the world where you go yep those are like the causes that you support why not say that vote as if your husband's business was run ruined from covid your son was accused of some your son was accused of uh something he didn't do you know your husband lost his job because of like a diversity initiative. Your, your daughter's muffin store was killed by COVID. Your girlfriend, you know, your daughter lost her track meet because a trans person won it. Like whatever you want to say, like you just, those are the 10 things you seem to care about, like diversity and people. And then they have their other things that they

care about. You might say your son's gun store is trying to be shut down or whatever. So it's this idea that like you can't see the other people's issues. There's a resident canceler on the Internet that we all know that tries to cancel everyone's stuff. And he's this big. He's a comedy journalist and he spends his whole life trying to cancel comedy. And I've talked about this guy before. My friend Matt, who runs The Hard Times, it's basically like a left-wing punk site.

Tim Dillon and Alex Jones were on Rogan. And then he likes Tim Dillon, they know each other, and he posted on the thing publicly, so this isn't like a private story. He posted, he goes, awesome, man, or some version of that this guy takes a screenshot of that and posts it like interesting the fucking the founder of the hard times is likes alex likes joe rogan podcast like literally a gotcha it's the biggest podcast

in the world maybe the biggest show in the world and Maybe the biggest show in the world. And he's like, boom. Guess what? I got a big scoop. Rolling Stone. Guess what? Are you listening? Man listens to Joe Rogan. It's like the disconnect. And I think people were kind of coming around Trump or not, like realizing like, yeah, this is fucking crazy. This is the same person that said to me, they go, they recently I've like, you know, one of the things I do is I have this like cancel character, which is like a cancel blogger. And I do, I do these videos with him and he posted four of them and he goes, get a new joke. And I was like, it's a character retard. Imagine, man, you're not understanding that. Like, it's like Austin Powers 1, Austin Powers 2, Austin Powers 3. Like, get a new joke.

You're like, yeah, that is one of the characters. Like, watch Portlandia and the hiking guy. You're like, all he talks about is hiking. You're like, that's kind of the whole character. Yeah, that is his thing. That's a character. He's a cancel blogger. Like, and he cancels different,

that's literally the sketches are that because that's the character. And you go, that's a comedy blogger. Gotcha. And just that was just all the like in your face and immense stuff. Like no one likes to be told they're the worst. You know, these articles like this is men on the Internet are becoming more toxic. And they go, a new study of popular men's rights forums and subreddits has found that men on the internet are becoming more toxic and more nihilistic and extreme anti-woman ideologies.

And you go, one, you're walking around in men are trash shirts. Literally, there are women walking around and men are trash shirts. The future is female. Men suck. You know, all of this stuff. And then men are like, yeah yeah we don't like that and you go look at these they're getting radicalized you're wearing a shirt they say i'm the worst you have a blog the like anti-man blog and this is it so the idea of these people having like their entire identity being like yo men suck and then. And then men are like, yo, maybe women suck. And they're like, what are those guys are getting radicalized. So I think there's a fundamental like not understanding all of this. And again, I'm not saying women suck.

I'm just saying dudes rule. I think I went to Austin this weekend. And it's very interesting because I guess that's like a fucking, you know, Texas is more of like a masculine culture. But Austin's like the liberal place in the middle of it. And people are full locking there. It is insane. I met 30 people. Oh, how long you lived here for?

Just actually moved from San Francisco. Oh, L.A. sucks. We're done with it i hung out with some uh billionaires again and i'm not gonna make that mistake twice to get too in depth about it but i went to this dude's house he's like this ceo pretty crazy though he goes he said the day it was kind of crazy that like i'm kind of in that mix like i went there and they're like oh he wants to meet you and i was like oh i'm like and he said that the day before elon musk was there and then he's meeting up with jared leto like he's in the mix with all these guys because a basketball court in his house it's like drake's house he's got a fucking he's got like shoes like for every size

so if you come he's got he's got it like ready to go but he was kind of interesting he was like talking about this stuff and it's interesting just here like their solutions were fairly practical. He's talking about different things. Like even he was saying the DMV, like if you go, if you look at what the DMV is, you go, it's obviously not practical that they're just going to privatize these fucking things. But what they can do is they go, okay, what if we had, instead of just like no accountability, crazy bureaucracy, all these places fall apart. We have two different like bosses that get to run or three that get to run different, you know, amounts of DMV. So one guy maybe runs six or seven. One guy runs eight or not, whatever it is.

And they sort of actually let people run them like private businesses. And then you're able to give them, you know, raises and bonuses. Whoever does the best at the end of the year, we give them $100,000. You're not going to get rich on it, but we are going to like, you know, you have the potential to make good money. If you actually perform, they have the ability to fire people. They have the ability to hire who they want and they have the ability to make changes and all of these places.

Anytime they do any little thing like that, they start running smoother. They start getting less complaints and it's like all it takes is, and it should be, everyone should agree to stuff like that. Like if you say to people, Hey, we want to do this thing. It's not left or right. It's we're just going to add some competition into this like government bureaucracy that everyone agrees is kind of a mess. Who would agree, disagree with that?

And he's like, well, it does get gridlocked because no one, they don't want to, they actually don't want to look at these programs and they go, they don't want to say, oh, this was a success when it's Republican or this is when it's a success when the other guy, they want it to kind of be a mess and they want it to be gridlocked and they, and they're all fucking so adherent to all these labor unions. So the situation's way more messy than like, you know, the simplicity of like rights, like get rid of the government and the left's like more government because you're in a gridlock and it's more important than that. Even when it to schooling i thought this was interesting he was talking about the way that the best way that we decide who gets funding and all this stuff at the schools is like kind of arbitrary in a lot of ways and they you know they look at

who's got the most people getting in this program and blah blah blah but like the only thing that really matters is how much people are making 10 years out of school and that's like kind of the only thing that matters and you look at a, especially if it's like engineering, you go to engineering programs. Let's look at a case study of a percent, 5% of the people are random 10% of the people and look at how much money they're making in 10 years. And if it's one, they're making 200 and one they're making a hundred. It's like, obviously this one is better. And let's follow that model. So some of these things are so obvious.

Once you hear them, I didn't say them. I was more just like, yeah, dude, these rules. I'm like, yo, let's play basketball. This is fucking kicks ass. People are flocking to Austin, dude. And it's an interesting situation because the mayor is like super liberal and then the governor is like this right-wing you know texas guy and they have homeless tents all over the city so everywhere you walk homeless tents and the mayor has this idea of like they can do whatever they want dude and i i know i'm bringing up homeless stuff this, but it's like, it's such so indicative

because you're like, well, this has to get solved. And they're like, just like, well, no. And you go, okay, so obviously no one wants to be mean to homeless people. It's one of the things of making tough choices of like running a city. Same reason if you run a house and someone comes and like sleeps in your garage and you have kids, you don't get to say, what are we going to do? Just kick them out. And you go, well, it's a little more complicated than that. We're running a fucking city and you can't just, you go, oh, well they have rights to

sleep there. And it's like, well, first of all, they don't. And you know, it's like if you had a park and everyone, like a gang was like, Hey, this is our fucking park now. And you'd be like, well, the park owns the gang. You're like, well, they have a right to be there too. And you're like, hey, this is our fucking park now. And you'd be like, well, the park owns the gang. You're like, well, they have a right to be there too. And you're like, okay. But if you can't walk across the sidewalk because there's like a tent city set up there, they didn't buy that property. It's like taxpayer funded property and they just claimed it.

And you go, ah, what are you going to do? And you go, okay, but that's not like being a mayor. That's just like, that's nothing. So the governor, he goes, if you don't fix this tent problem, I'm going to run down and rip them off with my own hands. So you're going to go imagine the governor of the city coming down and ripping off homeless tents. I don't think I don't think that's going to happen.

But I thought that was pretty funny. And so now I'm going to get to this article. A lot of people sent me different articles about, you know, all these people that were like the things I'm doing to get you to vote. Because that was a big a big part of it was they go. And again, funny business city is going to take forever. But a lot of people was, I'm such a hero. Cause I convinced people to vote. You know, my dad is 10 years from death and he's been a Republican and I got him to vote Democrats. Like, or he told you he voted Democrat and he didn't. And you're like, I am a hero. And all these celebrities that convince

someone to vote. This is, you know, it's basically like they're like, I convinced someone to donate a liver. Like that's how they see themselves. And this one says, these heroes, this is a hero story, not voting, not coming. Meet the dominatrixes getting submissives to vote blue true american heroes but before i get into that i have some cool news and i've been i i like so much the people that follow me because i feel like um every time i introduce something like this everyone's been super positive and think it's cool but after you know months i've been talking to lots of different people and I decided on two but I just took a spot I've but I have my first sponsor for the podcast that I'm going to announce and there's two of them and the next one I'll episode next week and I'm going to kind of rotate but I have a couple sponsors and I would have and this is out of tons but this is what I liked

so the first official sponsor of the boys cast is sheath underwear. So, you know, and they've responded a lot of podcasts, but it's a new sponsor and it has a pouch for the balls. And here's what's funny because I had, I don't know if you guys know this, but I had like all these ball surgeries.

Cause I have these like enlarged balls. So it literally, it was like in Curb Your Enthusiasm, the long balls. And I got surgery for it twice and it didn't take. So I literally go to the fucking doctors, like this Indian dude. And I didn't have sheath underwear at the time, but he looked at, he looked at the fucking my balls and he's like, he goes, big balls. I was like, kind of want that on record. Like a doctor telling me I had big balls. And he's like, he goes, big balls. I was like, kind of want that on record. Like a

doctor telling me I had big balls. But then he's like, what we do is we, we do this operation where we put something, we put copper in, it stops the blood flow. So we put copper in to stop the blood flow. And then like two weeks later, it kind of stopped the balls. And then, and then like a week later, it just like all went back and got big again. And he was like, yeah, you're, you're like blood or whatever, like busted through the copper. So it didn't work, but the sheath underwear kind of key. That's a solid pouch for the balls, which is, it sounds, it sounds weird, but I'm telling you, even if you don't have long balls, it's a, it's a pretty fucking solid

product. So that's why I wanted to support it. And the guy who started Sheath Underwear, he's like a big free speech guy. He like supports all these podcasts. He's like, not a bitch. So like supporting companies that are not a bitch. Uh, Sheath Underwear is amazing because it has a pouch inside for your boys, as they say, to keep them off your leg. So it prevents that skin on skin. So I've got a pair and I'm wearing them. They were designed by a soldier serving in Iraq during the summer. And as you might imagine, it is very hot in Iraq. So who wants hot balls? No one. I'm liking this sponsorship game, right? I feel like boy sponsors are going to be pretty fun. Sheath keeps your balls cool with the soft fabric separation. Now, if you kind of don't know what I'm talking about, you can go to

sheathunderwear.com, check it out. Think it's cool? Try a pair. Use the code RYANLONG to save 20% so they know you'll send you. And if you want, you can buy more of the code. You can use multiple times. Good for presents, whatever it is, but also, they have like this 100% money

back on the first pair, and you can just tell them they suck, but I doubt that'll happen because they're pretty cool. It's one of those things when you do get a solid underwear, you're like, okay, I'm just be like, keep buying these every six months for the rest of my life. Sheathunderwear.com. The promo code is Ryan Long for 20%.

Boy sponsors. Now, these dominatrixes. Let's get back to the heroes, America's heroes. Shall we? I went through a lot of ones, and this is my favorite. Of the crazy people patting themselves on the back for getting people to vote blue. So they made this whole video about it, and it says, It's very important you do as I say.

Little woman with wavy hair purrs into the camera. Clad only in an Easter egg blue bra with lacy trim. She purses her lips. It's for your own benefit. It's for the greater good. You get to jerk off no matter what she says, but you only good boys get to come so they're gonna go into greater detail but it's the team of dominatrixes the dream team and they get these guys that pay them money to tell them what to do you know put a leash on them just real bitches weird stuff to be into and then she's like oh you have to prove to me where first of all you can't like buy votes or convince people because they can always just do whatever they

want so the funniest part about these things is like girls refuse to understand that men will lie so you're lying on the ground and she could say anything like yeah are you a little bitch oh yeah i'm a little bitch are you gonna vote for b a little bitch. Are you going to vote for Biden? Oh yeah, I'm going to vote for Biden. You could say anything. And he's like, I got like, I got 10 dudes. Like what was the context? My, uh, my, my heel was on their neck and I told them they couldn't come unless they agreed to it.

Do you know the amount of things that men would have agreed to in that context? How many times has a man like agreed to like, like, yeah, we'll get married. Yeah, we'll have kids. There's been entire families almost started based on that. You want a trip? I'll go to a trip. Then you finish, you wake up, and you're like, yeah, we're not going to Ecuador. I don't know who told you that. You, five minutes ago, oops, your Uber's here.

Like paying the dominatrix. You're just like, yeah, well, make sure you're voting for Biden though, right? We like, when did I say that? Just like when I had my nuts, my heel on your balls. Oh, yeah, yeah, for sure. I'm voting for him. But anyways, here's the money. I'm getting out of here.

So it's called lying. They were also being told what to do. Like if they didn't like that, they would just go to a new dominatrix. Like if they were there and you're like, you better vote Biden or I'm not going to come. And they had like real principles where they're like, I'm a Republican. Like that's it. I can't vote for Biden. They would just find a new dominatrix.

So most of the people there like either don't care about lying or they were going to do that anyway. Tell me you're voting by like most of these people you're like in probably new york you know some dudes that are like at a dominatrix getting their balls squashed and tied up and they want to be like dragged on the floor while they lick up your shit i'm pretty sure a lot of those guys are voting biden already i'm sorry to break it to you i flipped them They were talking about the decidedly unsexy topic of voter suppression when he presented her with the unique idea for a kind of JOI or jerk off instruction. Nice video. Most of them are fairly straightforward, but this one would have a perverse twist. If you don't register to vote, you don't get to finish.

register to vote, you don't get to finish. Can you imagine paying money for someone to like tie you up and do all this things? And they start talking about voter suppression. You're like, yeah, tell me I'm fucking dirt scum. Some CEO of, you know, cock enterprises is on the ground and she's like, well, you're dirty. But more importantly, I don't know if you've heard about the voter suppression situation. Like, oh yeah, that's what's happening. These Republicans are really tampering with the votes. That's like the way it seems to be shaking down. These prostitutes like are kind of really feeling themselves these days. You know what I mean? I'm not just a prostitute. I'm a political activist. You don't really see like guys do this with their dirty jobs as much, you know, and not to say this job is bad, but like you wouldn't see a guy that's like a poo cleaner. Bathroom cleaner.

I didn't you know, I didn't let people use the bathroom stall unless they agreed to vote Biden. That's the kind of guy I am. It's like the just like you're just you're, just like, you're just, you're a prostitute, you know, like you're tricking on the street. Someone comes how much for a blow job? 80 bucks. But if you vote Biden, you'll give it to you for 70. No teeth. You're really making a difference. And whatever, if you want to work as a dominatrix, stomping on people's balls, pouring acid on their heads, whatever they're into, strangling them with children's umbilical cords, whatever they desire and you want to offer.

You don't also get to be like, but I'm doing it to fight for our democracy. you don't also get to be like, but I'm doing it to fight for our democracy. Yep. Right now, I've got a guy turned on the ground. I'm pouring hot wax on his ground and I'm making him lick ants. Why do you do that? For our,

for the good of mankind, for the future of our children. You're welcome. You're welcome, American. It all boils back to, I said this in my last video, it's like, girls refuse to just admit men will lie.

It's like, you're all liars. But it's like, with this, they're like, yeah, he's going to vote Biden. What if he lied to me? No one would lie to me. That's why I had pickup artists forever. That's why worked he said i don't know if you guys saw but i did the video the male feminist pickup artist but i thought it was funny because some uh chick i know she like knows him and she said he because he knows we're friends or whatever and then he saw the video and he like mystery he

thought it was funny and i was i to be honest this guy mystery i i actually wasn't i didn't know about him i just know that like pickup artists all dress i was in my mind i was like they all just kind of dress like magicians every pickup artist is kind of like a shitty vegas version of like chris angel because and then she they were she was like no it's just that's him the other ones don't do that and i'm like i'm pretty sure they all have top hats and stuff. Because they all got, you know, the peacocking. They all got, you know. And it's so funny because, first of all, this pickup artist, mystery.

After he wrote all these books about how to be a pickup artist. And then he came back like 10 years later. And he was like, I was wrong. I shouldn't have been saying this. I'm a loser. Don't listen to me. It's like he got all depressed. And he told I shouldn't have been saying this. I'm a loser. Don't listen to me. It's like he got all depressed and he told people shouldn't listen to after he told people to be dedicated to the life of pick artist, pickup artistry, dude.

And the whole pickup artistry is so funny because he's wearing this like feather boa and he's got this whole, you know, stupid persona, which would, which is fine if you're not just like, you know, rich or funny or cool have a good friend group or whatever if you really need to like that be your hook that i got all this crazy now and it's fine if he's that guy okay you fit in better by like being the wacky guy you're not embarrassed you don't feel like a loser like you feel confident picking up girls where like half of them are like look at this fucking idiot every dude's like get a load of this loser but you're like it works like you're willing to endure that kind of like loser jury and embarrassment to like get the girl but the problem is he's got all these wall street guys

wearing like boas and stuff like that you got you got wall street guys showing up with like a glow in the dark bracelet and in boas and like a top hat on and they're like i i don't know mystery told me this would get pussy some guy that works at wall streams some guy that works at walgreens is fumbling through magic tricks he's at the bar with like a deck of cards because mystery told him that's how you pick up girls i don't think so it works for mystery anyone else it's like okay you got to be like a certain type of sleazy dude. I knew one guy that used to like, that was like obsessed with the game when we were like touring in the band sleazeball known to be, he was the type of guy that was like, you know,

you'd wake up, you'd be sucking on her toes. He's the type of guy that you'd be, you know, you'd be with a chick and he'd be like, you mind if I take seconds? Can I have her after? Don't worry about wiping out the gum. So that's the kind of guy that's mad into pickup artistry. Not saying you can't be mad into smashing for the boys. Different type of game, though, you know? As soon as you got armor on, as soon as you're walking to the bar with a medieval outfit, it's getting a bit much,

bit much. And they, she, back to the article, she says, it was also effective. She says a few dozen of her, it was also effective. She says a few dozen of her customers have DM'd her to tell her that it was actually prompted them to register to vote on the strength of sheer persuasiveness alone and sheer persuasiveness. The guy's on the ground crawling around begging to come. I'm so persuasive. Yeah? Any girl that convinces a guy to do something while he's about to come is the farthest thing from persuasive. I'm so fucking persuasive.

It's like a guy that the girl really wants to get married and have kids. And you're like, I got it. And then you're like, you agreed to it, but you like got her to vote. You're like, yeah, I agreed to the four kids getting the thing,

but I'm so fucking sure. First ways. If I got her to vote. Yeah. She had, you had, you had a lot of the cards in your hand, sister.

You weren't persuasive. And once again, he probably lied. He called you back. Just, just so you know, uh. He called you back. Just so you know. They called you after. Called your dominatrix after to tell you they voted. Just so you know.

You're persuasive. You're so fucking persuasive. I voted for Biden. You're so fucking cute. Send me your feet. Please send me your feet. I voted Biden. You're so fucking cute.

Send me your feet. Please. Send me your feet crushing you send me some video crushing ants so fucking persuasive in the midst of a hotly contested presidential election in which in which an analysts are paid six figure sums to predict the outcome of crucial swing states yeah and do a bad job pollster can suck my dick they probably pollster is the type of like organization that predicts adam sandler's box office numbers are going to be bad i don't know we just didn't think people are going to watch it it's like well wrong again sandman's crushing it at the box office outcome of crucial swing states one demographic has been sorely overlooked. Submissives.

It's not that he's seething himself. They're a demographic. I know she's being a little tongue-in-cheek, but like, shut up. Okay, Trump did better with blacks. He did a little better with black women. He did a little worse with white men. And he's actually up 4% with submissives. What was that again?

Men that pay money to have some girl dress up in leather and tell them what to do and then cuck them and then make them beg for him to come and they pay him a thousand bucks anyways that demographic voted biden sweet info why don't we cover that pollster these fucking polls do they never fucking pay attention to the good demographics, do they? Some financial doms or fin doms, a fetish in which the sub derives pleasure from ceding control of their finances. A fetish called being in a relationship. Yeah, my fetish. That is so fucking funny. The nerve of these fucking people to call that a fetish. That is so fucking funny. The nerve of these fucking people to call that a fetish.

Yeah, my boyfriend's got a fetish where I spend all his money. Oh, yeah? A fetish called being a man? What do you do for a living? Oh, I'm a fin. What's that? Fucking convince guys to pay all their money on me i know i don't want to but that's what they you know that's what they want the tortures of being a fetish model finned what a fucking arrogant oh it's the guy ah he just wants me

to spend all his money like another day in the office just took out a thousand dollars like i don't want to but a job's a job that's his fetish these people are so up their own ass that's my fetish my girlfriend bleeds me dry And also trying to control the subs votes by hitting them where it hurts most, their wallet. Vote Biden. If you're a Trump supporter, you owe me money. I don't make the rules, reads one representative tweet. What an overplaying of your hand. Like I said, you know, these people, it's like, yeah, luckily your people all probably were willing to lie or vote Biden, but you're like, hey, what's, imagine going to any other thing it's like you like i said you're buying a prostitute and she's like it's a hundred bucks and you're like okay and she's like oh also it's 90 if you

like biden you're like okay yeah i'll take the like biden deal is that fine you sign me up for the voting biden deal a hundred dollars it's gonna be a thousand bucks for me to uh put you on the ground and uh you know spend all your money the way you want to but it'll only be 800 bucks if $100. It's going to be $1,000 for me to put you on the ground and spend all your money the way you want to. But it'll only be $800 if you vote Biden. Yeah, take that one, I guess. Well, I don't know. You're kind of contradicting yourself

because if their fetish is you spending their money, why wouldn't they sign up for the Trump one? This is what they say. Goddess Gia, a foot and financial dominatrix. She's like 50-50, you know what I mean? Little into the foot stuff, but I also like to spend their money, you know. I dabble. Mainly, I'm a foot fetish person. I, you know, jerk off dudes with my dick, but I also dabble in spending their money. I don't want to, want to be clear. I also dabble in spending men's money to get them off. Yeah, to get them off.

Yeah, to get them off. This is what she says. She put out a call on Twitter for free content for a week in exchange for proof that subs have voted for Biden. Yeah, I mean, illegal. But I will, I would do anything. If your vote saved me anything I was going to buy, literally if anything, again, I can't vote, but you also can't do this because, again,

once again, it's like voter buying. So I don't know. I guess she convinced three people and they lied. But, like, first of all, what you should be doing is Photoshopping your, like, a picture of your Biden thing and being like, there it is. All right, anyways, give me the fucking free titty subscription. You said you said, if I send you this, you give me some free titty fix. Sex workers harnessing their often substantial influence. Hmm. Very important. It's a very important job. It's goes president, then a prostitute, then find a fin dom, then got girl

who spends your money. they didn't think there's another girl like walking around with like you know a purse that her husband bought her it's like you know my all my boyfriend just oh i just got this new purse oh you're a fin dom as well well i just you're spending your husband's money i guess i assume he's into that yeah i know what it's like when the husband can't come unless you spend all their money it's like uh yeah he can't come with me to the store because he'll prevent me from all the insane purchases i'm about to make harnessing their influence in 2016 about 500 legal brothel workers in nevada spearheaded a hookers for hillary campaign 500 hookers for Hillary or also that like probably didn't help and this goes back to

my like voting for Trump thing where people like to vote for Trump you go if you someone came out like if it was like whores for Joe Jorgensen you think people would be like oh I should vote Jorgensen there's like all this stuff makes people being like, I don't want to vote for that. You know, crack whores for Congressman Smith. It's like, you know, and you're just like, hey, could you just stop doing this, please? Like, yeah, if I was like, I wouldn't want a big campaign like about me if I was, you know, my long campaign. You know what I mean? Cocked dudes for Ryan Long.

Cocked dudes for Ryan Long comedy. And I'd i'd be like guys you're not helping the brand people go there and all they see on the wall is like i'm a cock and i love long and you're like please please stop commenting on this no more cucks have my bag i'm telling you i'm doing fine i would prefer for you to get something else and they say sex workers have already been working to get votes not this just this cycle but every cycle yet their work and contributions have been marginalized ah that's ain't that some shit huh you're out there can you believe that no one's gonna give me give him my props. What did you do? I convinced three dudes to vote Biden before I jerked him off with my feet and stole his money. Fuck, ain't that some shit?

I'm doing my part to save this democracy by jacking dudes off with their feet and then fucking robbing them blind. You're welcome. How many? Three. Three. Three at best. So far, about 20 sex workers have signed up for the Big Tent campaign. 20? You guys are, you know, that's enough to shift an election. That's a demographic.

Many of whom have been far-reaching and have far-reaching and diverse audiences. Like, yeah, hoes on Instagram. far-reaching and diverse audiences. Like, yeah, hoes on Instagram. Sitting Jasmine, a psychotherapist and master fetish trainer with more than 72,000 followers on Instagram, notes that many of her followers are black. She would note that, huh? Notes that many of her followers are black or brown women

between the ages of 20 to 25. Yo, I'm so sick, I convinced 10 black chicks to be prostitutes basically I'm doing my part did you know that I run a page that convinces people how to fucking like be prostitutes and I convinced 10 black chicks pretty sick you're a hero

you and 20 others as an example of the sway she holds big deal this person she convinced 10 black chicks to be prostitutes. She cited an incident where one of her subs was offered to drink toilet water for her. Sounds like a man that might be convinced of something. I have a feeling she had an idea. She might be able to get him to vote Biden.

When she told him to boil it down first and make a pot of tea to make sure that it was hygienic. You know, that's hot. Let me drink toilet water for you. And she goes, definitely drink some toilet water for me, but first boil it into a cup of tea. So it's hygienic. He said, Oh, and then he said that he doesn't like tea and he would rather drink it straight out of the toilet. Yeah. I mean, do you really need to convince that dude to vote for Biden? I'm pretty sure my boy drinking toilet paper ain't voting Trump. He's on the ground licking boo off the toilet bowl. And you're like, I got to convince him. I think we know who this guy's voting for. Maybe not. There is, I should note that even before I was saying this, I feel

like people are listening, calling me on it, that there are some like high power CEO types that kind of, uh, are like powerful, but are into like being bitched around and maybe they're Trump people, but I've heard that a lot, but I don't feel like it's a little more of like that, that, that narrative is overblown. Cause I know guys that are into like this stuff and it's never like a big like alpha finance dude. It's almost always, you know, kind of like a liberal Brooklyn like polyamorous dude. But like I said, there probably is that. But I feel like there's this like narrative spun, you know, even when you watch TV shows. I can't remember like billions or whatever.

It's always like the big powerful guy that just loves to be like some. And again, that might be some of that but like i don't get real people in my life that are kind of like you know weird sex shit like you know getting bossed around or whatever but i'm just saying that's who i've experienced it's never been like my friends that are like bosses it's been kind of like weird sleazeballs you know but again i'm not an, but my guess would be, hey, why don't you boil the toilet water and drink it in tea? I don't like tea. Honestly, I would, but I just don't like tea. That's you're drinking toilet.

You're drinking toilet water. You like that? You hate tea that much? So she told her sub he simply wouldn't be voting for Trump this year. And he said, yes, yes goddess she says it was really that easy yo politics is so easy that's him gargling toilet water and I said you're not voting for Trump but he goes oh yes goddess holy shit I should be doing politics more often I'm just you I'm so sick of politics we our opinions always get marginalized. So I'll tell you

who's screwed if Trump loses the election. Late night television's screwed. Blogs are screwed. There are comedians who have an entire act on Trump. I probably mentioned Trump twice in like all jokes and it's like a passing. There are comedians who have an hour of comedy that is exclusively about Trump. They are done. And they haven't recorded the special yet. You know, they've been working on this act for a year. Maybe haven't done the special. It is over. People that tweet at Trump all day long. They are done. Do you know who won't be done? The boys. So a part of me thinks, I'll tell you what I've been thinking. What happens next after all this Trump stuff? And I've been talking about this for a while, but I remember three years ago, kind of

woke stuff, you know, COVID bubbled it back up, but it was the Trump stuff was if Trump wins, we'll see. It's, I honestly don't know exactly what that looks like. I don't know what the temper tantrum looks like. I think I a little bit more knows what the other one looks like. I think a lot of these people retreat back into their thing. The woke stuff continues to get out of control, but your normal average friend is a little less crazy. And when I was, you know, even when I was doing all these jokes, like if you've seen the fucking, you know, one of the, all the stuff that kind of like kind of really popped off before even the YouTube channel, which was like the 72 genders, men are better than 71 genders, boys, all that kind of shit. I was doing, that was kind of like a big... And that was post...

That was post the fucking woke shit. I was really like not really talking about that anymore. I was way more talking about like men and women and this. And to me, this is what happens next. To me, it goes back to like, you know, fucking... It's gonna be shows like Jackass again. I mean, you see that with like Nelk Boys and stuff like that. Like those dudes are just like...

They're just ignoring all of it and having fun. And I think I'm kind of in the middle because I'm, I'm not 14. I'm 35. Like I, I'm a comedian. I'd like to think of myself as like a, you know, cultural commentator. I, you know, spent, I was always a crazy dude, but I think I've always spent just like so much time, like analyzing issues. I was never just like party, party, party. I was always kind of way more, I like talking to people. I like analyzing issues. My friend and me have even kind of described it as this, you know, with a lot of people, they're having fun. But so every time I'm with my friends, we're getting to the bottom of something. Even if it's like, why don't we like that guy? What's the deal with this? Do we like this guy?

Is that funny? What's wrong with this comedian? What's, what's the problem with that girl? Why can't this guy, you know? What's the issue with this fucking girl? How did she get fucking like roped into this ideology so quickly? What are these people up to? All that kind of stuff. I know I didn't need nine examples. But I think that's kind of the conversations that I have.

And then the other time, I'm like, let's fucking get ripped. So I think I'm in between. So I could go either way. But I think the boys are fucking, I think that's who's not screwed. I think the other people are screwed. And I think the boys are not screwed. Pretty cool. I got a sponsor.

Please follow the other channel, youtube.com slash the boys cast with Ryan Long. I'm going to be kind of going back and forth for the next little bit. I want to build this channel. So I'm going to, I'm going to put it here back on this main channel for a little bit. And then I'm going to, I want to build this channel and do it properly. So I've kind of watched a few other people. I know this is a work in progress, but I think the boys cast is still like under a year old. And a lot of people have been sharing it. A lot of people have been telling their friends about it. I dude, I went to fuck. I got told you, I went to Austin. I've been touring

me and Danny Polishock walked down the street and like five dudes are like, dude, I love your videos. I fucking go to, I went to a restaurant. The guy's like, dude, let me get you a drink. I'm like a fan. I was like, yo, dude, wait, it's like sick, dude. Like it's fucking kind of been happening. You know, people listen to pot, you know, and I took the sponsor.

I feel cool about that. Like I like all this stuff. It's all very cool. Whatever happens on the election, worry about yourself, you know. Worry about the moves you're going to make because of it. Don't worry about these people. Don't get caught up in arguing about nonsense. Don't have a meltdown

either way. It's for fucking losers. The BoyzCast. Thank you very much. Peace.