The Boyscast with Ryan Long - Chicks Turn Being Lazy into a Trend, Putin & A Fat Polyamorous Wedding

Episode Date: February 10, 2024

PUTIN! Bud Light is Straight Now! Macdonalds thinks they aren't for Fat Poors, & Girls are up to some very whacky shit this week. SUPPORT THE BOYS PATREON.COM/THEBOYSCAST SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! Fitbod - Go to http://fitbod.me/boyscast for 25% off your subscription Butcherbox - go to http://butcherbox.com/boyscast and use code BOYSCAST  to choose your free offer and get $20 off your order Factor - Go to http://factormeals.com/boyscast50 and enter code boyscast50 to get 50% off and 2 free wellness shots Bluechew - go to http://bluechew.com/ and enter code BOYSCAST at checkout to get your first month free ON TOUR: Pittsburgh: Feb 16-18, Dallas: March 1/2, Baltimore: March 15-16, DC: March 17, Calgary: March 8/9, March 17:Boston: March 23, Winnipeg: April 4-6, Atlanta: April 12/13, San Diego: April 19/20, Houston: May 5, Austin: May 3/4, SUPPORT THE BOYSCAST: https://www.patreon.com/theboyscast http://ryanlongcomedy.com Ryan @ryanlongcomedy Danny @dannyjokes LEAVE US A FIVE STAR REVIEW! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As a medical professional, people always ask me what to do when you have a snoring female in your bed. Snoring females are no laughing matter. And what I always recommend from a medical perspective is you take your thumb and index finger and what you want to do is just pinch their nose for about 40 to 50 seconds or until they stop breathing and then retract back to your side of the bed undetected. I've also had patients who have had success with grabbing a single hair and just yanking it out of their head or a quick flick on the nose before retreating. But I want to remind everyone of the importance of doing so in a stealthy manner to avoid the discombobulated tantrum that could likely follow. Yes, whether you're turning the

light off and on for a few seconds or achieving this result by blasting no more than three seconds of Slipknot Psychosocial into their ear, remember that avoiding confrontation with this recently awoken maniac is crucial. I had one patient who went with a quick eyelash pluck in order to rearrange her sleeping pattern but was not quick enough on the draw. This led to a deranged lunatic yelling profanities and then having to have the uncomfortable conversation of reminding her that she isn't the only person trying to sleep. Contrary to popular belief, explaining to her that improving her sleep patterns might give her the strength to finish her chores in a timely manner can also have the opposite effect of igniting this deranged lunatic into overdrive and hence

making it even more unlikely for you to achieve adequate slumber. When done properly at most you will get a What are you doing? To which you completely ignore and you likely have a good 10 to 20 minutes to drift away before the nasal orchestra begins setting up for their encore. The new Fellas Fellas shirts are officially here at ryanlongstore.com. There's two versions also on the back. And my buddy Suave, who is in the band Ill Scarlet, who some of you probably know them, was the one who actually designed this shirt. RyanLongStore.com.

Drake wore one, and that's what made his hammer grow. Starting this podcast, we obviously have to bring up some damning news. Some of you may have heard that the secret is out, that Joe Biden is, in fact, in cognitive decline. There was a big article coming out. Unbelievable. I know a lot of you out there see him zigging and zagging around tough pill to swallow it's a i've when i saw that i go come on no it ain't so joe say it ain't so there's certain people you go okay but when you see joe you know the guy's a fucking tack yeah sharp as a she is definitely sharp as i i go i'm not a fucking idiot you know i know the news will

say certain things where they're you know you go i know they're lying but they're lying news media they're lying news media and then they say joe biden's they say joe biden's losing his memory i go fuck off i'm not how big of a roop do you think i am i'm not voting for trump you're not tricking me into that no no no no no nice nice, fake news media. Nice try, corn pop. Like, I can probably remember pi to 45,000 decibels. Probably. But you meant, we were talking about it before, the funny part is, obviously, that he basically said.

He did an emergency press conference. But what was the original thing? Well, the original thing is they came out with this report of why I guess he can't be prosecuted for like lying and stuff yeah and they were like well obviously he can't be prosecuted the guy's an old fucking man yeah exactly he's like he doesn't remember when his son died and he thought the prime minister of france was like alive was like a different guy and he's like emergency press conference everybody i'm totally fine and i can be prosecuted. Yeah, yeah.

No, it's basically like you were going to jail for sex assault and then your lawyer's like, my client has such a small dick, it is not even possible. And you're like, yo, we didn't talk about this. This is where you're going with it. It's like a big trial and he's like, this man's dick is so small, there is not a chance he could have sex. No, it's not even that. It's paternity hearings. He's this is like if this is his son then explain my client's tiny penis

they could you go can we just can we just do the paternity test yeah it's fine i'll go to jail i'll do a little time come on hey it's lawyers in the thing being like ladies and gentlemen the man is a shriveled fuck didn't we cover a story that was like literally that some guy was like i couldn't have flashed some chick because he had like such a big gut that his gut covered his cock and he's like he like he's like i cannot remember he's like i cannot be guilty the gut covers the whole package yeah yeah exactly it got off but it's so funny yeah then he has to argue, like, actually, I can be prosecuted. I'm sharp as a tack.

I remember everything. If I was to steal documents, I'd fucking know. Yeah, exactly. That's OJ essentially being like, the glove fits fine. There might be some sort of Democratic 4D chess going on here, though, that we don't see. The little DNC 4D. They're always up to something, that DNC. I don't know what's going on. Actuallyd they're always up to something that actually you

know because everybody's like well then he can't he can't run for president and you know that's what everyone's kind of expecting but then he's calling an emergency press conference to be like yes i can run for president i'm sharp as a fucking tag yeah so he obviously doesn't want to give it up that power must be nobody wants to give that up it is it's the ring it's the ring yeah but i thought that we should mention this quickly because some people danny mentioned he has a fiance he is getting married and but i don't know went the destination too he thought it's gonna cost not gonna just cost him it's gonna cost us all not my idea that's what he said not my idea it was never my idea everybody's invited to a date he goes uh yeah this sucker's getting married he goes yeah you're the fucking pin five grand pal so we're both going down but how do you like a vacation that you never budgeted or planned for

how does that sound yeah okay this is this is what i'm thinking for your wedding planner i'm an alternative wedding vendor i'm gonna is what I'm thinking for your wedding planner. I'm an alternative wedding vendor. I'm going to get you a bounce house for your wedding. Okay. It's an option. There'll be no bounce house. I'm an alternative wedding vendor.

I love that you want to have a first sword fight instead of a first dance. Maybe do that. I'm an alternative wedding vendor. We're going to have a drag queen MC. No, I'm good. I'm an alternative wedding vendor. We're going to get your whole polycule involved in your wedding day. I'm an alternative wedding vendor. Hell yeah, you can have your wedding at a haunted house. I'm an alternative wedding vendor we're gonna get your whole polycures off in your wedding day i'm an alternative wedding vendor hell yeah you can have your wedding at a haunted house i'm an alternative wedding vendor i know which chairs fit fat bodies i'm an alternative wedding

vendor of course we're gonna have an introvert corner i'm an alternative wedding vendor you never know what color my hair is gonna be at your wedding so this is what i'm thinking because so basically that she knows how to make chairs that she knows how to like reinforce chairs because yeah uh airplane aluminum not gonna cut it okay airplane grade aluminum is not gonna be good enough for the size of these guests how funny is that you meeting with your with your alternative wedding vendor and she's like okay so i'm thinking the where's the polycule going to be? And you're like, we don't have a polycule.

And you're like, you don't have a polycule. Is there some sort of... One of the chances you get the polycule... Is there going to be some sort of designated cuddle puddle area during the ceremony for the polycule to just kind of hang around in? Dude, that's so funny being like, my whole polycule's there,

and they're all in specially made chairs because they're too fat. And they're all wearing night costumes and stuff. They're all doing a LARPing thing beforehand. So that's what I'm thinking for your wedding is extra big chairs for all the fats, front area for the polycule, and then a bounce castle for the polycule. The bouncy castle sounds all right, actually. Just a bunch of guys dressed as babies. You know what I mean for the polycule. The bouncy castle sounds alright actually. Just a bunch of guys dressed as babies.

You know what I mean? They're caretakers. They're the adult babies. Also, I don't know if you saw this. So McDonald's... So a lot of Tesla got fucking rocked in earnings reports. I don't know if you saw that. Also, people don't love the fact that their owner is on drugs.

You must feel a little bit good about that. Because Tesla was the one that got away. And now it's down a little bit yeah it's still no okay well i'm just trying to do a little something for the man well so mcdonald's kind of got rocked too but it was funny because so mcdonald's is charging 18 for a big mac in certain areas i believe i don't i'm curious where those actually are well the thing is obviously you know people can be inflation this or that but more importantly it's like well too bad mcdonald's your market is poor fats and it's like they tried to be a they're trying to be a fancy pants restaurant now but so they realized that and then the ceo went out and it's just so

funny to me that they're doing all this like damage control of uh like kind of earnings getting rocked and the ceo has to come out in like really delicate words being like we're gonna go back to focusing on poor fats yeah yeah we saw we forgotten you we thought we were chick-fil-a or some shit he's like listen we got away from our bread butter, which is people who like to eat bread and butter. We're going to be focusing entirely on poor fats from the South because they were trying to be like, maybe they've tried all the different things, right? Maybe it's healthy.

And then they tried to blame it on Hamas for a little bit. What did Hamas do? Well, they're saying that because people said they supported Israel. I'll give you a few headlines here. McDonald's price drops after CEO promises affordability. And this is after they were already getting killed. McDonald's and Starbucks blame Israel Hamas for slower sales. And the recovery might take a while.

Yeah. That's a guy drowning in the call. That's the thing, though. That's like the, yeah, yeah. But that's also the best kind of just excuse. You go, hey, guys, we're getting boycotted because there's support for Israel. And what do we say? We don't even really support Israel.

They're like, all of our employees are gay and trans. Kind of fucked us over when this whole Palestine thing started. Listen, baby, if you want us to get our prices down, you got to talk to the Ayatollah, man. They're trying everything. You know what's so crazy, though? How cheap McDonald's. I went to McDonald's in London. It was so cheap there. That's what I'm saying, man. They're trying everything under the sun. You know what's so crazy, though? I went to McDonald's in London. It was so cheap there. That's what I'm saying,

man, in America. Dude, in London, I saw they had a big mac meal. It was six pounds. It's like so cheap. It's like $7. And they're saying it's $18 in America? What's going on? I'll tell you what. I went to one of the McDonald's the other day just to get coffee. You wouldn't believe the fucking land whales

that are popping around this place, man. It is not a good sight inside it seems like they're doing okay they weren't doing okay you're saying the london one's doing okay no the well i'm just saying the the people at that restaurant are affording it six pounds you go what's that the guy's just his ankle yeah they're not doing jokes i mean what about all the money that they're saving on on not having like cashiers anymore that's the thing too it's like we're still there but like it's all cashiers that like would it's this is what the cashiers at mcdonald's are women that actually probably would be like a 6.2 6.3 but they're just so beat up they're clocking in at a four what mcdonald's

are you going to what no? No one two days ago. This is a very small sample size. No, I'm telling you, it's a very... I'm probably going to a McDonald's. People are probably listening, agreeing that that's a good, accurate synopsis. I'm probably going to a McDonald's 10 times a year, I'd say. And I do not know what you're talking about on that front. What do you say? What would you describe them as?

There's women working there who are sixes? Yes, yeah. But they don't... They're all like old, frumpy ladies. this is what i'm saying to you some of them are not old some of them are 30 you think you think i'm aging them like like basically they're actually just look way older like my point is they are two points less hot than they actually are and by the way i clocked them in at 6.2 at first i didn't say this is a supermodel i mean i fucked a lot of 6.2s first. I didn't say this is a supermodel. I mean, I've fucked a lot of 6.2s, Ryan. She doesn't look like a 6.2. You fucked fives that did themselves up to 6.2s.

I've been defrauded. You pointed, yeah, you fucked five that put on the makeup and, you know, polished a turd up to a 6.2. These are 6.2s that are turding themselves down to fives. So what you're saying is there's a market inefficiency here

for guys who are looking for sixes. Go to a McDonald's. Hey, if you are in the 6.2 ballpark and you take a five, you can turn some of those fives into sixes. Because first of all, a lot of them have the olive oil body where they're not actually that disgusting. They're just so scraggly yeah you know what i mean it's like the guy that has like the beard that has like four hairs popping out of everywhere you go and that guy just shaved that off yeah you know what

i mean just don't be like totally skinny wearing the jeans that don't fit it's a lot of that yeah or like the male pattern some guys have male pattern baldness just they won't let it go so they have like a weird and you're like you're actually in a crazy way better off getting rid of it way better off so they have a lot of that that's my point is i'm not saying mcdonald's is swimming with employees that are sixes i'm saying that given some work a lot of these girls were originally a six before they just you know let themselves go to shit that unlimited mcdonald's and it's and you know what it is it's a well there's a lot of fat ones originally a six before they just let themselves go to shit. That unlimited McDonald's. And you know what it is? Well, there's a lot of fat ones, too, so don't get me wrong.

The fat ones is obvious. Like, you could lose 50 pounds if you lose a point. McDonald's, if you're listening, at least just stash them in the back on the fryer later. You don't want to see the fryer, dude. The fryer's a five down to a three. Dude, fryer comes out. The fryer's like, you rang. Friers definitely you rang, dude. They, fryer comes out. The fryer's like, you rang? Friers definitely,

you rang, dude. They're dragging their leg out. The fryer people are so beat up, they just put their hand in the fucking fryer and don't even notice. Doesn't even fucking make a dent

in their beat up skin. You go, you go, you go, dude, what's going on? He's just here. You go,

dude, your hand. You go, oh, sorry. Doesn't even notice when the finger's falling off. His body's so beat up, the nerves don't work anymore. Shit.

That's what I'm starting to say. I'm saying the front counter staff. I'm saying the presentation squad. Anyways, I'm just saying in terms of the profit excuses that they're making, you're raising the prices, which were like a temporary phenomenon of increased uh like supply costs those were like that was like more of a temporary thing which you're now so you have higher prices and then also but you're getting rid of like like

most of them don't have they'll have when they used to have four cashiers now there's like one who's kind of just making sure that all the computers are working yes i agree but even still there are certain things like do you know how the dollar slices can't just be dollar 10 they have to just you know when they inflate they inflate yeah if you're mcdonald's it's like you can you can say the price is in charge 18 bucks but it's not gonna work in my opinion no because you're aiming at the wrong demographic is all i'm saying you gotta if you want to get if you if you're mcdonald're thinking like, hey, everything costs more, inflation, it's like, we'll figure out a way to make cheaper burgers.

You skimp on the ingredients. You don't raise the price. Yeah, yeah. You do what Subway did. This is my take anyway. No, literally, that's what Subway did. Subway just, remember they were like- Our cheese is fucking cheese from the floor now.

In 2008, they were like the financial crisis, and Subway's like, we're bringing back the $5 footlongs when the economy was doing bad. And you're like, how are you doing that? And like, we're putting fucking yoga mats in them. Remember that shit where they had some chemical where they were putting yoga mats in the bread? It was like this yoga mat chemical that was in the bread. I think it was only in Canada or something. But they were just like, yeah, you got to cut some quarters.

You guys want $5 footlongs or not? It's made of human puke now you're eating a little newspaper i feel like there's a lot to talk about this week but uh just a couple of quick little more things about that because snoop dog is dealing with a similar problem that i am because snoop dog claims walmart uh has sabotaged his cereal brands because he has snoop loops snoop loops i don't there's nothing that guy won't sell i've been on record yeah and almost at this point and master master p i couldn't what does master p sell oh he also has a cereal brand him is master p been like low-key just like having a windshield wiper brand and everything i don't know but master p is involved in this uh in this

it's either he's involved oh he's involved in this one or he has his own cereal as well that's like under the line of the brodus flakes or whatever the like snoop's line of cereals interesting yeah it's an interesting little corporate sabotage story actually it's pedophilic it's a master p and it's like a it's master pedophile but it's just that's me and danny was there before you know people do the videos where they were doing the dinks. I know it starts with that, but what did she say? She says, I'm an alternative wedding planner. Yeah, I'm a wedding planner.

We're saying to you guys, we're pedophiles. We move into the neighborhood. We have to tell everyone. We're pedophiles. We always have to explain to our girlfriend what the misunderstanding was. We're pedophiles. She's a pedophile trying to be a social media influencer.

He's like, we're not allowed at schools, but we are allowed on social media. We're pedophiles. We always have to take the long route when we're going to the school. We're pedophiles. I live under a bridge. We're pedophiles. When I served my time in jail, I always had to avoid the gangs. We're pedophiles when i served my time in jail i always had to avoid the gangs we're pedophiles everyone was always asking me for my papers

that's good shit we're pedophiles vice magazine's always writing stories but actually we're actually pretty good yeah vice loves us we're pedophiles according to vice we're not monsters we're pedophiles but i'm in a similar thing to because i what Snoop Dogg's dealing with When he's in a fight with Walmart Because as you know I've had a similar situation with the low T center And I'm not going to go into crazy detail I'm sure some of you saw I made a bunch of videos about it

That reminds me of some legal troubles There are some people Because I posted a big video Basically I posted a joke Saying that I was kicked out of the low t center because i had to low a t and then the low t lawyers at the low t center messaged my agent and basically said they sort of told me they demand i take it down and then i made a video being like i will not be intimidated by the low t center yeah and it is kind of funny because a lot of people were saying

that like uh you know you shouldn't be probably most people were probably like on my side but i think some people were like actually i probably think this was a stupid move for you to post that and you go yeah i'm living a high t life man it's a fucking riskier business yeah you don't get it but the thing that i was actually joking about this with my brother because he was loving it my brother's a big jack dude but he was saying we're saying that uh the eventually go to court with the low t center and then i walk court, and the judge is like sitting there. You see the judge walk in just like super low-T. The judge walks in like, you can't even hit the gavel.

He goes, court's in session. I go, I'm fucked. I go, actually, I want to settle. Your Honor, I'd like to settle. That's the worst thing that you want if you're in a court case against the low t center yeah and then the the judge comes in and he goes all right guys let's do this trial you go oh shit what you want if the bet all the better though i'm in a court case with low t center and the judge comes in whoo let's fucking go let's go let's go boy goes i got

crossfit an hour let's do this shit i go i'm fucking good to go brother even funnier is that the i lose i go to court with the low t center and the judgment is that i have to be the spokesperson for the low t center for life it's like the butler so the court the judge rules that i have to be the low t spokesperson that i have to be the spokesperson for the low t center for life it's like the butler yeah exactly so the court the judge rules that i have to be the low t spokesperson that i have to be on everything just like yeah that's the funny thing ryan long endorses the low t center this is the only place that i ever go to get my tea i wonder if they're having like a big board meeting about this they go well they have to yeah like like if they're watching your video being like what do we do what's the move here well i talked to a friend that was a lawyer

and he was just like dude if any company ever came to me and they were like this guy posted a joke about us two months ago we're gonna tell him to put it take it down i would have been like that's the stupidest idea ever yeah for sure it would just be like what are you doing don't do that yeah so anyways i hope i don't publicity it's just uh think about how much publicity they got there's someone who watches the sketches and they go you know what like well i guess it is funny as this is as funny as this is someone's like my tea is kind of low though yeah i didn't know that there was i live down the street from the low tea center that's it i don't want to say that i do not recommend the low tea center but there is possibly an agreement that we can make.

I do make an agreement with them. Use promo code BOYCAST for your first T-injections. Okay, quickly, because I just actually got back from tour. I got off the plane straight here. I'm going to be in Pittsburgh next week with JJ, and Danny has a couple dates too. Catch me. This just actually got announced right now

February 29th to March 3rd I'm going to be in Phoenix slash Scottsdale Arizona House of Comedy and then you can catch me and Plano Texas end of April and Minneapolis end of May still doesn't have the website to go to but you can find any jokes

it's all there it's the future you don't need a website anymore. I'm trying to groom this guy into a guy that knows how to sell tickets. It's a condensed website. It's just more efficient. Although, my boyfriend has got a website coming. It's just coming along. If you want to go to a quick RyanLongComedy.com,

that's where you can find tickets to Dallas, Calgary, Baltimore. Linktree slash Danny Jokes. Washington, Boston, Winnipeg, Atlanta, San Diego, Houston, Austin, TX. One link. You're not going to be dicking around trying to find those tickets. It's easier to find mine. Low T moved and not have a website. I have a website.

Linktree slash dandyjokes. I do, actually. I have a website. That's everyone. I have a website. MySpace.com slash bit.ly slash dandyjokes. JJ was fucking a maniac. so I do have a quick update for the people, because obviously...

Was JJ making you look at Drake's dick? Uh, no, but almost as gay as he's... His whole set's about candles now. Oh, God. The reason I'm bringing this up is because we talked about it on the podcast. He kept saying that, yeah, we talked about it on the podcast, how stupid it was. And then he's like, I'm selling out every night now.

The candles are moving because I wasn't selling merch. And JJ does like, he does have six minute bits about how he's so pathetic and he needs people to buy his candles, right? He's like, my dogs. He's like, I'm literally going to have to like shred my dogs and feed them to homeless people. Unless some of you, or don't, don't buy my fucking candles. I'm telling you, 90% of this guy's acting with candles right now.

He's just a fucking candle salesman. But they were moving. I love it. I love it. Because I do sort of meet and greets, and I don't have any shirts, so I was just encouraging everyone to purchase the candles. That's fine. I'm telling you, he probably moved 20 candles a night.

That's hilarious. I'm telling you, this guy was happy about it, too. I told him. I've never seen him smiling like this after selling all his candles. He made such a mistake, in my opinion, about the candles, too, because I was like, you should have done the saint- never seen him smiling Like this after selling All his candles He made such a mistake In my opinion About the candles too Because I was like You should have done The saint style candles

Where your face is on the side So when people burn them Like you know Like the saint Or the saint candle Okay people are throwing These in the garbage The minute they left

They bought them Out of charity But he Just photos on the lid And you take the lid off And you toss that out For sure Could be a swastika

For all they care It doesn't matter These guys No one's using them They're giving him money That'd be so it's just like he walks they're giving this pathetic bald man money he comes out at the end of the night and they're just all sitting on top of the trash can probably for him you're like okay danny i'm not kidding after people buy his candles they say god bless you jj's, what's the greatest nation in the world?

Donation. Anybody want to buy camera? Go for him. No, it was actually good to see. He put a smile on his face. But the funny part is there was just one thing he said that was the funniest thing in the world. So JJ's whole thing right now is he's off water bottles, right? Because he heard. Yeah, the plastics are bad. Yeah. And everyone probably thing right now is he's off uh water bottles right because he heard

yeah the plastics are bad yeah so and everyone probably knows that but he's off them and he goes yeah yeah he goes um i've been uh not doing no water bottles anymore because the plastic so much so what i've been doing now is the you know the the uh the metal water bottles like the water bottles that are metal i go are you talking about a can and he goes yeah yeah like the can i go you couldn't think of the word can? Well, he means like a thermos, I think. No. He's just talking about canned water.

He means like the liquid death can, which he is calling a metal water bottle. Oh, my God. Is that going to be his new merch? He's going to 7-Eleven to buy a metal water bottle full of water. And I go, please tell me you're not talking about a can yep this is how he ropes you in though this is how you anybody's ever smoked with jj for any extended period this one he was struggling with coming up with the word can he does these bits he does do that but this wasn't one of them man he actually was calling a can a metal water bottle because

he couldn't come up with the word can you know the water bottles they're like metal yeah they're they're like uh you know but they're like circles You know And they're like flat at the top Oh my god A can So me and JJ Watched the Tucker interview Watched the whole thing

Watched the whole thing Skipped through a few parts Fucking snooze fest At the beginning You know what Danny The first 15 minutes We did both say that We were kind of like

Boring I was like Shit I'm gonna put this on To go to sleep Legitimately He goes Everybody gather around Hear the history of Russia we were kind of like boring i was like shit i'm gonna put this on to go to sleep legitimately it goes everybody gather around hear the history of russia which a lot of people are actually i saw some you know some people liked it bbc no but i saw something on the bbc being like i'm a russia scholar and this is bullshit just people have been i mean obviously cnn if he said you know

the sky's blue they would have just been like fucking can can't stop lying. Right. This is a lie factory. But he's also not the most trustworthy guy in the world. I don't think we need to reflexively be like, just because we hate everybody else, be like, yeah, this guy's right about everything. Problem is, I don't know. So you are correct in saying that. Yeah. And I will say that you are also correct that the first little bit was a snooze fest. Oh, real stinker.

In 1965. But he kept saying, he goes, do you want but he kept saying he goes do you want to do a tv program or do you want to have a conversation sure so this is what i will say in rebuttal to what you're saying yeah so yes that is true that he's doing propaganda he has a side of the story that he wants to tell people so does america you know of course okay so this is what i want to do is like i'd like to be able to hear people's sides of the story and then i'll make my decision right okay we got you're picking up most basic stuff picking up when i put him down my point is is when i evaluate everyone's telling

their version of the story right and he's telling you more aggressive but what i'm listening for is just does that make sense you know what i mean so it's like sometimes like it doesn't it you don't you can parse out what they're saying here i'll give you an example of like imagine you're talking about like school or whatever i'm not saying this directly but imagine they go there was like you guy and you go this guy's like a bully right yeah and then uh you go he keeps beating up this guy right and then everyone else goes well if we let him beat up this guy he's gonna beat up everyone in the class and then you talk to the bully and you go no i'm not actually trying to beat up everyone in the class i just hate this guy because he's partnering with my enemy and then you go okay is

that true and you go i guess that makes sense and you go what's your reason he thinks he's gonna beat up everyone else after he beats up this guy and he goes he goes i'm not i'm just trying to beat up this guy and you go what kind of makes sense yeah so i'm saying so it's the lies to me it's like i can whether he's lying or not he if someone tells you a lie right and they go hey um like if someone says oh the reason i was late is because i had to go get a train ticket and you're just like well you took an uber though you're like well i don't like it doesn't make sense to me so the lie has to like well i'll say his most convincing argument from what i watched like about a little over half

of it his most convincing argument for like the nato stuff is he goes like look they they we made these deals and then they basically retracted the deals they reneged on these deals and then they want us to make new deals and he's like and he's like well why would i ever agree to any new deal because i just expect you to constantly renege on future deals so like i just can't trust you in terms of like the NATO stuff. In terms of the other side of that story, where like those deals were not real deals. But I'm just saying that was his side of the story.

You go, okay, sure. But in terms of the like, oh, well, you know, like Ukraine used to be like those people are Russia, which is true. Like my parents are technically like my mom. I guess you would know. My mom's from Ukraine, but they don't consider themselves Ukrainian.

They're like, they're Russian. Interesting case study. Yeah, they don't speak. And like my grandmother's from ukraine but they don't consider themselves ukrainian they're like they're russian interesting case study yeah they don't speak and like my grandmother for they have an alternative wedding planner is the question no they didn't but my my grandmother like i remember asking her like you know about crimea because uh russia went and annexed crimea but like all the people who live in crimea they're like we're russian yeah not ukrainian but just the way the border would have my name people in american are like i'm not but it's like the same context would be like mexico and texas or california there's like there are people who are like so what happens in mexico goes hey you know like these people in southern california like they're mexican you guys just took our fucking land from us or like texas or whatever yeah there was a bunch of you know and they'll be like so

we're gonna take it back and you're like, you're not. These are the current borders. Well, that stuff was all, like, didn't matter as much to me. Because I actually agree with you that it was kind of like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's your version of the story. And it's like, you don't get the places back. It's done. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's done. However, the part where he was like, well, actually why I did it is because, you know, NATO keeps pushing, pushing, pushing, pushing, pushing pushing pushing pushing pushing I was kind of like yeah kind of already

thought that to be honest yeah exactly like I already sort of hold that opinion to be honest it wasn't really like but he kind of used to me but this is the difference though is when he says it it's like it is kind of interesting because I'm like I hear people say that and you're like okay so I know that is his

position like here's an example right if he came out and he said no it's not about nato it's about like that's our land it has nothing to do with nato then i'd be like well everyone in america is just like making up stuff that even to be even like to be on his side but it's like well that is his position whether you agree or not but if it's like same with hamas right now right if people are uh people are like oh they don't want to make a deal or whatever and if i'm like the leader of hamas came out and he was like no we actually do want to make a deal they just won't and then you're kind of like okay well that's not what people are saying exactly yeah so at least like what he's saying does sort of make sense

and sort of align with what like a lot of people already think anyway yeah so it's like enough things come together where you're like all right that part of it seems to make sense yeah i guess you know what a history lesson at the beginning history lesson you're like yeah that's your perspective and you want the place back and you're probably not going to get it and that's that you know yeah yeah and obviously people don't want you to have it and let me ask you a question the nazi stuff that i was like i felt like that was fucking he was trying to give a little something for the american media he was kind of that was him being like uh us being, you know, saying like, it's actually better for women if you're trying to play in their ballpark.

Do you know when Republican candidates, sorry, do you know when Republican candidates in America that are kind of like, oh, I'm against progressive bullshit, but then they'll be like, as a Latin American, I actually, like, they still do it. Or like Nikki Haley recently, she's kind of like, as a latin american i actually like they still do it they still do or like nikki haley recently she's kind of like as a woman i know what it's like um to do this or you know if i i'm i got in trouble for freedom of speech but like that maybe that's because i'm a woman like they try to use it still i felt like maybe that was a little bit putin trying to be like oh i know everything's but they hate the nazis over there and i know what this all i mean he was trying to

justify it in terms of something like i think he thinks the west will because the west hates now you go you guys hate nazis obviously you fought a whole war i'm gonna make it about not so he's like we're we're closer on the side than we think he goes we all hate nazis and those are there's tons of nazis over there and then he did the thing like him coming up with that to be like the love they're gonna love this nazi it was it was an interesting point though where he i because you know obviously the canadian parliament thing he brought that up where he goes the canadian parliament and but it was weird because he goes you know you don't really talk about that in the west that the canadian parliament applauded you're like that's all they talked about

yeah yeah weeks it was the hugest story that was kind of interesting to me the extent to which like it felt like they are living in a separate world yeah yeah when he said that you like thing he was like oh this small thing that happened and he was like for one it was like an accident well once once they once they realized he was a nazi they did they were like yeah yeah but i guess he's saying they're like they're so like historically ignorant and like and it but the one that's true where he goes like what nobody realized that well he's right about that yeah if you're fighting against the fucking russians then you're a nazi during world war ii but we said that everyone i know but the interesting thing was zelensky who was there like he wasn't like he should know that like look you're canadian you're like okay

fine like it's a different part of the world but like he should for sure as a jewish guy who's the president of ukraine should be like yeah that's not a good guy right here we gotta tell you here about fit bod now whether you're a seasoned gym goer or maybe you're just starting the fitness journey fit bod is gonna push you to make progress i personally was just came back from the road and believe it or not i think it was was one of the crappy hotels we stayed at. It had a pretty banging gym. Really? Buddy, they have them sometimes. Sometimes, yeah.

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But I guess because it was like a pro-Ukraine thing, he's just like, I'm going to shut my mouth and just let them applaud it and hope nobody catches this. Well, apparently that's what everyone who works close to the Trudeau government, who have been my inside sources, that maybe i'll share with you one day sure but

the a lot of the inside sources are that just like it's uh trudeau doesn't listen to anyone like it literally could have been one of those things where they're basically like this is happening he gets the approval and then it's one of those you know in like the movie where the guy's like um but sir and he's like shut up. I think you might want to know this. Hey, hey, hey, we're doing something. And it's like, no, I know. And then eventually just no one says anything. And then he goes, why didn't anybody tell me?

Sir, I tried to tell you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It feels like it was kind of like one of those almost with everything with his government. Yeah. Well, everyone's like afraid of him sort of because he like runs with an iron fist a little bit as much as he seems like he's like pretty boy,

happy-go-lucky uh yeah acts like a chick he really actually is like no one better go against me which i guess also is like a chick yeah yeah i mean he's uh apparently his chicks uh already moved on see that she's dating some doctor in ottawa apparently she was banging this dude before they actually split up you didn't see that stop it yeah she's uh she's because this guy's look at me in the eyes you think that's true it's in the national post my my friend my friend my this isn't like some fucking crazy rumor so this guy's getting divorced he's i believe you didn't give me this juice i read it like last night at like fucking one in

the morning fucking juicy gossip uh this guy so this is some juicy goss right here so this dude at um he's a cardiologist and he's a professor at like i think carlton or you're gonna have to fix her back after he blows it out but anyways he is currently going through divorce proceedings himself because he left his wife who's he who is he married to some bitch some civilian and then yuck yuck and then And then he's an Argentinian dude. Doctor. Of course he is. He probably has a fucking accent too. Yeah.

Horatio. And he left his wife for Sophie Trudeau. And so it's coming out in their divorce that the girl that he left is basically this high profile person or whatever. She might have just got tired of having to have all the bulls coming in fucker she's like dude i wasn't in the we just get a just a normal dude yeah like i don't need to be getting fucked by a bull three times a day so he but anyways yeah that's the current story so they were basically how does she like having sex with someone that doesn't cry did she mention that in the story well she's not involved in it this is

their family's divorce proceedings and in that came out that he's basically leaving his wife do you think he's on the prowl justin trudeau for dudes for gay men i don't know probably i mean you gotta i mean the fucking biggest bust of all do you remember in Jack Lane there was a guy who was like I think he I wasn't in the premier at the time

yeah he was the head of the NDP he was the head of the NDP yeah but I'm saying it was basically the governor and he yeah and he got and he was also the head

of the party and he got caught at the fucking Tuggers at the fucking Tuggers yeah Olivia Chow was his wife oh yeah he had an Asian wife yeah he was the mayor of Toronto

this guy loves Asians he's the mayor of Toronto right now shit yeah dude being the governor going to the tugs is such risky business dude i mean rob ford pay the extra money to get her to a hotel room what are you doing dude rob ford was doing fucking blow in just restaurants like people were just like you literally walk to the back of the restaurant the mayor of toronto's just like doing lines of coke. Buddy, if I'm like crazy high profile, doing a line seems less risky than fucking slurking into the tubs. Yeah, all things.

Going down to Etobicoke to fucking slurk into the tubs. Come on. Buddy, there's other people are going to see you there. Yeah, of course. See what I'm saying? Even if you don't get caught in like a bust, other dudes are gonna be like yeah well but i guess premiere at the fucking well i guess that's the whole thing though is everybody's kind of sworn to secrecy at that point who the fuck's sworn to secrecy well i guess the people there are fucking doing something shady too so yeah but we know people are that's

true we don't like yeah i was at the fucking tugs and jug fucking jack layton was there like rick rowley or something yeah we i know lots of people that are not afraid to... They're out in proud tuggers. Yeah, I guess. I don't know. Yeah, that is a very risky move. I mean, Robert Kraft got zapped on that. Robert Kraft wasn't...

Yeah, but politicians tougher than... Hey, if I owned a football team, I don't think I'd be that crazy afraid to go to a tug. If I was a high-powered politician, tugs would seem like a fucking crazy gamble. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You lose your whole political... In Queens, they're getting busted right and left, too.

Yeah, I don't think he had to step down, though, from that. I don't think that actually caused him... I don't remember what happened, either. I don't remember what happened with the... Dude, getting busted at the tugs is incredible. Did he say he was doing research? That's what you got to say. Or he probably said he thought it was just a normal massage parlor.

That's what you go with. Yeah, so there was no charges. It was no charges in Leighton massage parlor leak. Basically, he made a 1996 visit to a massage parlor That they somehow Found out about Oh that's not that bad So they found out That he went back in the day Yeah he went back in the day

Oh no harm no foul I'm picturing him Getting like Shimmyed out by the cops Nah No no no It was like a I don't know what the leak was

So they just found out Back in the day He went to Tug's It is funny that he loves Asians Yeah so it says Does anyone care The new There was a Toronto police raid

On a Rub and Tug massage parlor 15 years ago And this was so oh he was busted in a raid 2011 dude if i got busted in a fucking tug raid i would just be like obviously i'm not gonna try to get into politics i think that's done well he did respect and it was successful for us so respect that's like let it be known to the fellas sex work is real work sex work i mean he's ndp right like that's like let it be known to the fellas sex work is real work sex work is mdp right like that's the sex work is real this was way before the fucking prostitute was a good thing he's a pioneer he would have been yeah if that was today he would have been better off because that was way before it was like going to the prostes was actually like a yeah you're a good thing everyone should be doing this dude that'd be so

funny if like a republican uh like got busted with like a like two prostes and he just went with like the sex workers we were working he went like full 180 he was like yeah i think that women should be doing this and i'm supporting yeah just full goes for it it's just an honest honest job you know yeah i mean to me it's like going to the mechanic. Nothing different. Checking into work and sucking dudes' dicks, there's zero difference from that. Let me tell you, it's not a job I want to do,

but I'm glad someone does. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll tell you an interesting thing. So I'm on an email thread at... You know what? I'm not even going to say that. I'm on an email thread, uh uh you know what i'm not even gonna say that i'm on an email thread and i accidentally got added to the email thread and it's not really the hottest goss but someone's a comedian's going to singapore yeah and they uh sent me the rules about their jokes and stuff like that what they can say and what they can't say and all this stuff and they

accidentally put me on the thread so i got this big list of stuff for the singapore thing it is kind of interesting i mean i imagine and then they said oh sorry we sent it to the wrong person i was like no you sent it to the right person i mean i imagine with the whole jocelyn chia thing story i hope it's not her but it's not her uh that whole story yeah they're they cane you for spitting on the streets there under non-mainstream lifestyles and behaviors so there's a category yeah that you can't talk about non-mainstream lifestyles and behaviors so your polycule bullshit would not fly dude like but the thing is can you be like look at how stupid these polycules are like is there some like can you criticize make fun of them or no reference of

you have to give them your whole set typed out it would be impossible to start being a comedian there you literally have to type out your dude imagine you're being a comedian and before you say things on stage for the first time you have to type it out and get it approved by that's literally yakov smirnoff when he went on marin he was like the first western comedian in russia and he literally he's like i had to send in my set to the department of humor or whatever like because like you know in russia soviet russia was like all like insane bureaucracies you know that's just some like grody bitch he's not funny at all too oh for sure but like you have to send it in and then they would like just send you back everything that's like allowable everything you're sad and like i told you i had to do that chewing on ice sorry sorry sorry about that sorry sorry about that bud no when i was uh when we were in the band in canada when you get these grants we had to send in our lyrics and then like some

team of stuffy old ladies would have to go through it and approve them yeah and they like they would make changes they were not they were pretty liberal with their input as well dude they had a lot of things they were like you know and there was one line there was things like it was less of the racially insensitive stuff and more just like sex shit or whatever but i remember the one guy he goes and one of the lines he goes my epidermis is white but my dick is black and they didn't like that one but you'd have to be on these phone calls with like these fucking ladies from the government saying they don't like this my dick is black we don't appreciate yeah it's all like funny shit too right and they're not even like realizing that it's a joke they're just like you saw this line where you said you fucked the shit out of not like yeah they're ridiculous right so they said no lifestyles and behaviors

including but not limited to alternative sexualities okay so just nothing like you could just they go we're still just we're a little behind but we're still just like if you want to shit on your wife i mean this is legitimately no no gay shit no fat chicks keep them cold yeah this is what it is right but you have to imagine dude that is so funny if if you have to give them your set and then they uh send you a letter back formally from the government that says your set's too gay i wonder how the government's like you know this like i wonder how it's enforced if you go yeah okay and then like you do it on stage. Is there someone? You know what I mean?

I think what happens is the fucking promoter gets it. You know what I mean? Right, the promoter. The promoter gets it. If you decide to go off script during that thing, are they yanking you off stage? With a cane. Shows over, and then they beat your ass with that cane. Yeah, I think a lot of these places, they have an official present.

They don't want you polluting the minds with your homosexual bullshit but they're not restricted internet there they're not like because russia that was another thing everybody's like oh he's in he's doing you know meeting tucker carlson putin and it's going to be on x but they don't have x in russia it's blocked like twitter is blocked in russia right now because they don't want other sides of what's going on coming out so anyways i don't think singapore singapore is free in that sense they have full unfettered access to the internet i'm pretty sure so anyways politically and racially sensitive content is frequently censored in singapore on the online okay so there yeah as you were saying that i didn't know enough i thought i thought singapore is supposed to be like we're pretty open we restrict obviously but alternative sexualities are not happening

fetishes so you you know what i mean you can't be like so i'm a sub and my boyfriend in brooklyn's a dom and being a sub we're subs we're subs um fetishes in addition uh they also said someone someone's gonna mention their they said in the script uh you mentioned your bisexual friend and uh we want they want further information about how the bisexual friend is going to be mentioned uh so we can approve or disapprove this bisexual friend like why they're like come on just say they're your friend no no she is saying that yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm saying, she's obviously saying my friend's bisexual.

And they go, just, what? That's not important. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just say it's your friend. Why do you need to know that you have a bisexual friend? It's fine, we don't care. Don't ask, don't tell. That's what they're doing.

So no bisexual friend. And then there's another one that says she, in a part of it, there is a part about discharge and there's a whole paragraph about them discussing about they need more information about this discharge line and whether it's going to be... They must pay.

These gigs must pay out the ass, though. That's the thing. The more there's all these hoops to fly through, they're probably getting flown first class, probably pays tons of money.

There's no way. Where does the money come from? I don't know. Where does all this extra money come from that they're getting, allegedly? They're super rich. It's a very prosperous economy. Do you think tickets are just really expensive or something? Probably. I don't know where does all this extra money come from they're getting allegedly they're super rich like it's just really expensive or something probably i don't know it could just be normal amount but some people are just really popular there you know what i mean oh maybe yeah

like some people are asian so like they kind of they like sort of pop off there more yeah i guess like uncle roger like nigel probably goes and tours there yeah exactly he might be banned too yeah i wonder if he's what's his status is there i think yeah he seems to be getting like banned from a lot of those countries but i thought that was super funny jocelyn she is they remember like the singapore like in their uh whatever congress like they had to make a statement about her like in their literally their highest highest department of humor politics like a public statement during their like sitting of their congress being like we denounce her dude you

ever uh i know we already referenced seinfeld once but you know uh you can never reference seinfeld too well it's kind of like simpsons too where they just covered everything so it's hard not actually watched citizen kane last night for the first time in my life have you ever seen that yes it's it's so weird people are like it's the greatest movie of all time it's from 1941 it's orson welles he was like 26 years old wrote and started it and then but it's all because one of the best simpsons episodes ever the one where mr burns with bobo yeah remember that and then i was like the gain from citizen gain or whatever but i'm like fuck i feel like i've seen this before and then i'm like i'm seeing it i've like all these

references i'm now getting because I saw this episode of Simpsons 20 years ago. Yeah, they've covered every single thing. Every single thing. But it's apparently supposed to be one of the best, considered one of the Simpsons episodes ever as well. I didn't know there was a ranking like that. There is.

Oh, of course. Well, did you know when Jerry was trying to not be funny and he was dying and he goes, what do you do? He goes, I'm a comedian. He goes, death is despair. That's what it's like going on a date

with one of these people that works like at the Department of Humor. It was just a girl being like, yeah, I'm just, you know,

everything, I don't really find that funny. I don't find that funny. I don't find that funny. You go, what do you do for a living? You go, I work for the Department of Humor.

Yeah, you're not getting any of the like, what are you? I work for the Department of Hum yeah you're not getting any of the like uh what are you i work for the department of humor i'm a bit of a comedy nerd or i guess that would be worse where it's like a really unfunny person that's always trying to be funny like oh i got your tongue yeah he's got the tie and he pretends it's his tongue he goes i'm the head of department of humor the head of department of humor would be funnier if it was a wacky guy

Who comes in and squirts the fucking flower into your face He's just never He's always on the department of humor Oh I'm not feeling so well Oh it's not ending Like the biggest fucking hack of all time The head of the department of human rights such a hack that's a way better visual that's a way better visual he goes okay so we're talking about the

jokes like definitely gonna get to the jokes first we want to go to the mystery of what happened to your nose yeah he's literally goes so i see that you don't have a opener here of uh you are the love child of uh one and another person. I highly recommend doing that. That's a good opener right there. The Department of Humor, you go, just wait in my office, and then you just hear the knock, and he goes, knock, knock. And he goes, just come in. I'm waiting for you.

He goes, no, you have to say who's there. You have to say who's there. Department of Humor. Okay, come in. Okay, no, you have to say Department of there Department of humor Okay come in Okay no You have to say department of humor Come in Who's there Department of humor

Department of Head of department of humor Is definitely wacky Yeah He's coming He's basically an animaniac Does it say actually who gets... Is there an official title of where this gets sent?

What do you mean? Actually, it's called the Department of Humor? Is it like the State Department? Actually, a screenshot of this email is not on there. Okay. I am curious. Bud Light's back in the news. Bud Light's back in the news.

Well, it's funny because... What a ride it's been. Bud Light has been a real ride of this millennium and you know what watching the Putin thing and he's trying to keep up with American culture it was just like if you know because there were certain things if you're from over there and he's trying to pay attention and you're just like okay so but they don't like Bud Light because he's gay oh they don't like it because it's too gay or it's not gay some people think it's too gay some people think it's not gay is Some people think it's too gay. Some people think it's not gay. Is it gay now?

It's like, we're not gay no more. Yeah. And now they're like the full-on least gay beer of all time. I mean, they're literally just back to what they were one year ago. They're more, though. Yeah. Well, they went too far off course one way, and now they have to course correct. They're just like swinging the wheel back the other way they went yeah they went from legitimately our spokesperson is like a guy who

turns to a guy who turned into a woman yesterday rolling around in a bathtub yeah to now being like the but you like every ufc guy just being like drink yeah here's like here's yeah here's peyton manning throwing a fucking pass to a clydesdale so hard that it explodes the clydesdale yeah it used to be kid rock shooting the cans because they're bad now it's good rock shooting the cans because they're good yeah yeah no it's like kid rocks like deployed down in fucking uh the gaza strip and he's like his rocket launcher runs out of rockets he goes i need something else and someone's hands have a fucking butt light he goes god damn it this just might work and it's like just like takes out the head of hamas yeah he's going for a butt light a butt light yeah see you in muslim hell it's just like it's just the cop coming in and busting a gay brothel like the new york gay brothels just kicking them out arresting all the gay guys they're all

getting golfed out and then the cop just cracks a bud light well it's like the gay stonewall just the cop at stonewall in cracking a bud light while he's fucking or they're like they build a new border wall just out of bud light empties like a college student you know you have the wall we go you might wonder what happens to all these empties once they're done we'll tell you we're sending them all down to the southern border to make sure none of these migrants get in. Bud Light. They're saying they can't secure our border. Every can is made from border-securing titanium.

Holy shit. Bud Light went so hard the other direction. The new CEO is just walking around the factory smoking cigars high-fiving people asking everyone to smell his fingers legitimately you know what's funny though i saw they had no choice it's the only alternative way back though well yeah and the ufc deal i've never seen anyone go this this far the other way in my recent history anyway no no well they they fucked up so badly yeah the thing is the fuck up wasn't even so bad in the deal like they were the example they made the example of the dillamalvaney thing was obviously a huge fuck up but then when the girl

who who's behind it her gillette's my opinion was crazier with the trans stuff gillette's like hey girls should be hairy men's razors you know what i don't think anybody's identity are tied to a razor company like they are with bud light like people like really are like who when they're light beer drinkers it's like they felt like yeah they're like this is like my identity you're fucking with here i don't care about razors like razors you'd be like ah i'm not buying gillette but people are like have fights with it's like dodge and ford you know like people are like i get that what i mean you're like i'm i'm a i drive a ford truck like i never drive a dodge like it's crazy and and they're in the trenches like defending the brand and then the

brands out here being like we're gay yeah we're gay and you're like what are you guys doing to me like you know what's ammo all my Coors Lights buddies have right now? Yeah. I'm like in the fucking, it's like the R. Kelly, I'm out here fighting for my life. You were out there fighting for your life if you were a Bud Light guy for a bit.

Dude, remember I told you, I went to that bar. My stepdad's a Bud Light guy, I was killing him. Dude, remember I went to, I did Saratoga Springs and we went like on the outskirts to some like just like dive bar

kind of like local watering hole and there was like one guy drinking Bud Light and he was fucking getting it from everybody. Like, and he was just like, yeah, yeah. But like, oh, look at you fucking drinking Bud Light. Like, that was not easy. But the thing that I kind of thought was interesting though is like uh I saw Matt Walsh and some other people but like mainly he's leading the charge

being like the boycott's not over because they haven't apologized and I was kind of like isn't what you wanted them to do this I feel like but to me it would be like kind of like demanding apologies to me is kind of like even in my real life i never need anyone to apologize to me you just like no i mean definitely not a corporation yeah who needs an apology like unless it's like an aaron brockovich type scenario where you go yeah this corporation like poisoned my well yeah yeah yeah well you don't want an apology yeah but i'm just like i would like money and maybe an apology that's what they should have to give one dollar to every like a class action suit where they give like a

hundred bucks to every guy that got called gay. Class action suit. Just guys going to the courtroom being like, who was their monthly poker game? But to me, I guess that to me demanding, like wanting the, if they already did, if they're doing what you want to do, I feel like that's what you'd want i feel that's why i was kind of confused when they're all like it's a corporation i'm not they're all like still mad now it's kind of like if anything you should be happy they're doing exactly what you want they just don't want they you know they want to say an apology seems like kind of chick shit to me from a beer company

yeah i'm like the thing is you go you stop drinking their beer okay like i'm not fucking dragging like this was a bigger thing to them just never let this go that's my point kind of it seems like it to me yeah you're like look it's over this is the whole thing it was with like comedians they were like yelling at comedians and then people stopped apologizing because it didn't help yeah the only reason people apologize is if it helps, you know? You literally, you won and just take the W. That's how I feel about it. Yeah, just like you're being

kind of sore losers or sore winners at this point, kind of. That's how I a little bit feel about it. Whatever. Don't drink, if you don't like the beer, don't drink the beer. It's the worst beer.

It's so shitty. Tell that to the spokesperson, Shane. It's so shitty. Say it to his face. I would say it to his face. I like Coors Light though, better than Bud Light, personally. It's beer for alcoholics.

It's like when you literally drink so much, you can't pace yourself, and then you're like, I have to drink light beer. Let's take a percent off this, yeah. Yeah, take two percent off. Otherwise, I'm just going to be getting DUIs out the ass. You're right.

It is a DUI prevention mechanism. It's a DUI prevention. Literally, that's what it is. It's where people can just drink it all day, and you're like, yeah, I can still kind of drive. I forgot how fun talking about Bud Light was. I hope they do something else with that. That's one of the best things ever happened, is the fucking Bud Light becoming gay.

It's probably the best story of the last three years. They won't be doing it. I agree. Boycott's not done. No agree. Boycott's not done. No, the boycott's not done. We're back on, baby. Can't let this end. I thought it was funny, though,

because of the Shane SNL thing, which also, I was just kind of thinking it was kind of cool. Even Dave interviewing our FK and stuff like that. It was a real, actual presidential candidate. It was just our body interviewing them. Shane became the biggest comedian in the world. I just thought it was like a real actual like presidential candidate and it's just like our body you know what i mean like interviewing them and then like shane became like the biggest comedian in the world and like i just thought it was kind of cool but also i thought it was also cool where

if you saw uh tmz basically when shane gillis is doing snl and then tmz released they said resurface footage and it was like it wasn't resurfaced it was they resurfaced yeah you went and found it you went through you signed up for a compound media subscription it is legitimately going to your fucking girlfriend and being like well this came across my desk a photo of you in you know yeah you're like it wasn't you went and found it 1998 also we should have a date with every comedian should be amnestied from anything ever said or done on compound media. That should be like a presidential. When those compound dates start coming out, you go, I even the Shane when I go, I thought this was behind a paywall. Wait a second.

Like literally that's every comic. Oh, wait, wait, wait. That was online. Legitimately to. online legitimately too I thought that was like we kind of had a deal or no we would ever someone pointed this out there they go that's funny the TMZ had to pay for the compound subscription to get to it but like legitimately when you saw that you're just like

compound everything we said there was kind of behind a paywall it kind of be used against us for life you say every comedian in New York said to me well it kind of behind a paywall. It's got to be used against us for life, you say. Huh. Every comedian in New York said there's a free wild shit behind that paywall. Yeah.

I agree. Compound amnesty for sure. There should be a general compound amnesty. But I have a question. What do you think? So because a lot of the people who probably are writers for SNL have been there for like a bit, right? And they are pretty like young like very diverse crew of writers at snl um do you think there's any scenario because you know

how they like a bunch of them were like when chapelle was there and they were like where they were all the like do you think they're gonna sandbag him no like is there any scenario where they go like they they're like here's no because the people that are cool they're like him okay uh everyone like everyone like shane but like you know like che and all those guys are all friends yeah obviously but i'm saying uh right because i guess they're the head writers no he's a comic in new york all those guys know him but chappelle the thing with the bow and yang so chappelle basically went on snl and he just like showed up and then he went up to the thing right and then bow and yang essentially allegedly uh moved to the other side of the stage to like not be around him

right yeah if that happened i think a part of that is just like the game's the game where it's like dude everyone that likes him has been writing articles about how shit pals the devil if he was in a photo being like yes sir i bet you off camera guys like that i don't know how the game is with those people off camera they do what helps them and i don't know him personally yeah but they do what helps them but on camera he was just like i have to pretend i bet you he's like kind of like oh i have to pretend i don't like this or i'm gonna fucking i'm gonna yeah i'm gonna get it from my fans kind of thing like that's what my hypothesis is but i wonder like i'm not talking about my point just to finish that one last point the tmz basically released that and every person was like fuck off tmz yeah like they really even harvey in the thing like they go it's resurfaced and then

even he is like yeah you know people say lots of crazy stuff if you go back far enough dude they posted that everywhere and every person was like go fuck yourself tmz yeah what are you trying to do here so i thought that was like i thought that was good that the i mean the boys sort of ran that comment section i'll tell you that much yeah but he kind of got exactly what they wanted out of it because i don't think they care if it's they're getting dunked on they just want the impressions so they're like sure yeah i think you're probably right about that i mean like that they're like yeah that's true i mean tmz was scummy before this stuff yeah tmz was like resurface photo of gwyneth paltrow showering and you're like you took that no tmz was like it's like harvey levin as like a fake plumber being like i'm here to fix your shower

yeah video footage of harvey weinstein having sex taken from under the bed it's like wait so you guys were there in the room yeah yeah they're kind of the tmz was the also the kings and queens of like look at uh this person put on three pounds yeah totally it was just like a guy at the beach sitting in a weird position like deniro put on a couple and he's just like an 80 year old man over yeah john travolta's body doesn't seem so bikini ready yeah yeah i'm uh i'm curious to see what the sketches end up like because that is one but

they were they all all of those places that were like dirt scum sort of switched in to be like but we're darts dirt scum to fight racism i will say though i think now that's rubbed off now they're just back to being crap old good old fashion dirt scum and people are going back to good old fashion go fuck yourself tmz i mean the shane thing is a huge win for white comedians everywhere white male comedians we are so back it's been a long time coming back to what though i don't know just not like i mean it's just it's some kind of there's nothing they can give us nothing they can take from us we have a studio and our podcast and a youtube channel like there's nothing they can give me nothing they can take from me that That is true. I guess just in terms of

I just have no relation with these people whatsoever in the industry. There's nothing they can take from me, nothing they can give from me. It's like even Shane does SNL. It's like, okay, if they take away SNL, it's like, okay, I'll go back to doing arenas. None of this matters. Yeah, none of this matters for him. I don't know. For sure. Fellas,

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same podcast and she trashed oprah tyler and it was like so now instead of like going on and being like this person's sexist this person racist the new thing is you have to just go on and expose everyone you've ever met. Dude, she's obviously trying to pull like a Cat Williams, right? So now it's the thing you go on the like the Jay podcast and you're just like, well, and where do I start? So Tyler Perry fucked me over. Like, here's my, she's like, hey, let me just read to you my personal text with Tyler Perry.

Yeah, yeah, she's real bitter, too. She was... They're all trying to pull a Cat Williams. Yeah, Monique is specifically because she was the one who, I guess she doesn't get... Because she won an Oscar. What did she win an Oscar for?

For... What did she win an Oscar for? She won an Oscar for something. Being the grouch from the sounds of it, huh? She won... Woo! Hi, T. Joe! Best Supporting Actress

in 2010 for Precious. She played Precious's foot. Remember when you dressed up for Precious for Halloween and you didn't even do it on Halloween and it was just your normal outfit?

Do you remember that? Just a guy in blackface? Yeah, I do remember that. What do you do? A precious themed wedding? How about this? Whoopie cushions on everyone's chair? That I like.

And then you're the real Department of Humor head. Department of Humor head definitely has a whoopie cushion on your chair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely a whoopie cushion. You sit down in the office of the department. Definitely wearing suspenders. He has a tie. He has a thing that spins. Yeah, the a little bit. You sit down in the office in the department. Definitely wearing suspenders. He has a tie. He has a funny thing that spins.

Yeah, the spinning tie. Anyways, let's take a look at these jokes. Ooh, the discharge. That's not going to work. Nah. Yeah, but he still has to be super clean cut. He's like a dad, right? Yeah, he's a dad.

He's like, ooh, you mentioned a 69 here. That's going to be a no-go. Oh, yeah, I don't get you. See, that's humor right there. Yeah, you see. Not right there. That's humor. No, it's a 69 we. That's going to be a no-go. Oh, yeah, I don't get you. See, that's humor right there. That right there, that's humor. No, 69 we don't say, but you can't say 96. It's the same thing without the sexual connotations. Just as funny.

Just as funny. But yeah, Modica was mad because she won an Oscar, but she doesn't get these paydays. Okay, the last one't get these paydays. You said fucking here. I was thinking making babies might have a funnier ring to it. Sorry. Continue.

Anyways, anyways. She's just mad because she won an Oscar, and so a lot of people win Oscars, and they go like, this is my payday, right? I get all these roles. But it doesn't always work out like that for everybody. There's probably lots of people that won an Oscar that didn't turn into a big payday. I don't know. Yeah. I mean, you get to work a lot, but I think she's like, I should be getting these $10 million.

Well, she cranked out some pretty crappy movies. Yeah, for sure. Obviously, she's not some crazy draw. She's not a box office draw. Modique. You know, whatever. She's just mad because in her mind she goes i should be and then anyways and she said uh yeah she's it was all during the it was actually yeah it came out in february 2020 i just found this where she just like doesn't she doesn't get the the roles she feels she deserves or the pay yeah but i just so now she's going scorched earth

see that's one interpretation and i'm on board with it to some degree but i still think this is watching kat williams blow up uh from going on and going and and trashing everyone and she's like but i'm saying she said this stuff before kat williams went on she was no one's been listening yeah i mean she went on CNN It was like a article for a day or something like, you know, whatever and then so this is sort of like the hub for Trashing everyone now it's become that yeah, I mean dude there was like crazy I Turned on YouTube yesterday. There was I want to say at the peak close to like 200,000 people watching that live

I'm telling you man. He's the spot to go. Yeah, but they're not listening because they like you they're listening because you're gonna fucking dish the yeah personal yeah probably like the moment like there's no fucking gossip for two minutes people like i'm out of here i mean listen if you're going on and you're just like hey i have this like crazy dirt on like oprah everyone's like i'm listening and i don't care who you are there's dirt on oprah i didn't i'm not interested i like kyle williams but i'm not i't, I'm not interested. I like Kyle Williams, but I'm not, I'm not, I'm not listening to the two-hour Monique podcast

to get some Oprah dirt. I don't really care about either of them. Yeah. You're a fucking big Oprah. You always have been an Oprah man. I'm an O-head.

O-tard. O-tard. That would be a perfect example of someone that TMZ would call fat. Yeah, who? Oprah's put the five pounds

back on. No, she's skinny now. Yeah. Some of that Ozempic pen. This is another thing that JJ was going on about, but he thinks that Ozempic's really going to fuck people over. Yeah, because you heard it on the Joe Rogan podcast. That is correct.

My friend know. That is correct. I'm on know. Every single piece of information he has comes from someone else's podcast. And it comes from three podcasts. Yeah. Yeah, everything he knows comes from three podcasts yeah yeah everything

he knows comes from uh uh rogan chris williamson or tim ferris yeah or tucker carlson he didn't have that many tucker facts yeah well uh yeah i don't know so your joke again uh became a reality so there's the thing i don't know what it's called now, but it was the James O'Keefe basically goes on the gay dates with people. Yeah, the gay date. He literally went on a gay date. And it wasn't even. He wears a disguise.

It used to be some other guy, but I guess because. When you're going on your gay dates in disguise, do you think if they caught you, you'd be like, it's a bust. No. What? Get him, boys. I'm like, Vito. Guys, it's a joke.

It's just a bust. No. What? Get him, boys. I'm like, Vito. Guys, it's a joke. It's just a joke. Guys. That's a funny picture. Danny's on a gay date, and you just have a goatee over top of your normal beard. In a leather jacket. I'm a groomer. Guys. I'm just trying to get a scoop here.

You never heard of a scoop? Journalism, guys. Guys. Guys. What about journalism? trying to get a scoop here you never heard of this journalism guys guys so he basically he went on this gay date with this guy and the guy spills like every he works for biden and he spills like every secret and the article was basically explaining that at the white house they had to have like a meeting with all the people there and in and it's so funny because they can't they can't say like hey gay guys stop yapping on your dates right yeah but it's like legitimately gay

guys that work for biden can't stop going on gay dates and spilling all the beans once they get a few that's on one of the crowds cosmos in them they got a little chatty isn't that so funny though there's just an epidemic of gay guys that work for the biden campaign that are on like date number one being like kamala is fucking no one likes her dude they spill every it's so funny because it's literally like uh james o'keefe just with glasses on it says james o'keefe with glasses i don't know if gay guys are tapped into what he looks like you think his fucking photo would be up anywhere anybody has any compromising information on the left to be like, hey, look out for this guy. Gay guys.

Yeah, we don't want everybody to look out for this guy. More importantly. Yeah. The gay ones. Well, I was just... To me, that is so fucking funny that they have to have a meeting at the White House and being like, okay, so when you're on... It doesn't necessarily have to be a gay date, but in 100% of the cases, it was.

Yes, it seems to be a recurring theme. It keeps being a gay date. And they probably have to tread on that so lightly. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, it's... I i mean shame on them for ken bosted on this well anyways his juice was he was sort of saying that like basically no well the cognitive decline stuff everyone knows that's not a hot it's funny that uh that is such

a catty gay date thing to be to be on a gay date and being like i work for biden like between me and yeah that's good yeah between me and you kamala harris nobody likes her yeah yeah i haven't even seen her do any work in six months that definitely that would be a gay date thing to be like how everyone else is so lazy these fucking people i do everything i basically hold the whole white house up on my fucking self yeah i mean that's like the biggest surprise to me this whole thing was that I'm like, gays have to like work to impress guys on dates and stuff. That's interesting.

Yeah. I thought that was like a hetero thing. Gay guys on dates still have to be bragging about it. Yeah, they still gotta be like impressing them. Well,

what if they're, they're maybe gossiping. Yeah, and I guess if they're not trying to seal the deal versus like, actually maybe they want to be in a relationship.

A bunch of chatty Cathy's though and they had to do an official briefing to be like, shut your fucking traps, gay guys. Imagine, yeah, they're like,

hey, we're calling all the gay members in. We're having a closed door meeting for all the gay and then there's like a couple who are like, look, we know you guys are gay. Let's get in here.

Come on. All right. Cut the shit. All right. Secret Service has been following you guys all around. Look, we're willing to hide your secrets, but now

this is important. Both of you in. Do you think that they're having do you think that there's any conversations at the White House where they're like, we got to keep some of these gays out of the loop because they can't get their job set? Oh, I mean, fuck, man. That's like, they probably have some kind of security clearance if you work at the White House.

Yeah. And if they find out you're gay, they revoke your security clearance. This has nothing to do with sexuality. Yeah. We're not revoking your security clearance because you're gay. We're revoking your security clearance because you're chatty and you're chatty because you're gay. Technically not

something we can get in trouble for so don't even try it. It is true that you're chatty because you're gay but that is not why we're not penalizing you because you're gay.

Do you think the gay guys do the disproportionately affected? They're just like you're not allowed to chat on dates and you go you know that this is disproportionately affected gay guys. That's our culture. Yeah yeah giving inside secrets about our workplace is our part of our gay culture

that's the thing because if it was like chicks chicks guy would be like yeah isn't like biden and they're like i don't want to talk about work like chicks would probably want to like if i was going on a date with a chick and she would work for the biden administration and she was dishing up all the goss yeah, she's dishing it, yeah. I would definitely be interested. Yeah, I guess he's leading questions, though. He's like, so, uh, this was probably like an interview.

He's like, so, Joe Biden, is he still, uh, all there? Danny was doing the finger around the ear for those of you. For all you listeners, the finger there. I'm also not wearing my sweater anymore i know that's that's why yeah i forgot that he was on audio because well it's a very once he gets the pipes out he couldn't imagine it's a very unseasonably warm day you

don't realize that he took his sweater off so he couldn't imagine that anyone heard him taking his sweater off and then didn't switch over to video you figure when i took it off it sounded like but it doesn't i do it in silence danny polo shook has put on 30 pounds this just in resurface so girls have been up to real wacky shit this week and this is uh probably i'm gonna go through a couple of them the first one in the blogging and the TikTok world, they're running out of ideas a little bit, but Herkldurking is the new one. So Herkldurking is actually an old Scottish term

to lie in bed or lounge when one should be up and about. Being depressed. It's lying in your bed all day. We've got to give a cutesy name to just depression. They have a lot of different names for lying in your bed all day they've got a lot of you gotta give a cutesy name to just depression they have a lot of different names for lying in your bed like a sack of potatoes yeah but they they do make everything inspirational this is kind of the theme in the next little bit is there's a lot of different things here and they've figured out a

way to make them all inspirational so hercule derek is when you're just dicking around in your bed all day and they said it's antithetical to hustle culture. So they're sort of sticking it to hustle culture by fucking sitting in their bed all day. And hustle cultures are like, great. This is exactly what we want from you. We want you apathetic. We want you giving up, laying in your beds while we start our own bed business. Some might say that we want you sleeping while we work it.

Yeah, literally. Yeah, while I'm currently creating my own bed business where you're gonna have to buy beds for me yeah you fucking keep herkel derkin i'll fucking sell you the herkel derkin variety pack comes with a sweat stain remover pjs everything you need industrial side bucket of lard yeah yeah popcorn yeah just coming into the bed and you're like hey we do have to go to that thing today i'm herkul dirking yeah don't bother me when i'm herkul dirking i told you not to i told you to leave me alone while i'm herkul dirking you know saturdays through mondays are herkul dirking you know i'm really just worried about you there's nothing to be worried about it's a trend it's a trend on tiktok i'm just herkul dirking i'm making a tiktok that is what it is you haven't left your bed for

four days it's a trend you know i think you're depressed you go no if i wasn't tiktoking right now i'd be depressed currently i'm herkul dirking this is the difference between being depressed and being a tiktok influencer i'm an influencer. Yeah, you literally go, yes, it's depression if I'm not recording myself. Yeah, yeah. I'm actually Hercule Durkin and I'm an influencer. I'm influencing masses right now.

What do you influence them? I'm also telling them they should Hercule Durkin. Wait a minute. So you're sitting in the bed. And the Chinese stay winning. Yeah, definitely the Chinese. Tell you what.

Chinese aren't Hercule Durkin. Yeah, I tell you how many fucking results come up when you search Herculeurk on Chinese TikTok. Literally, you search Herkldurk on Chinese TikTok and a video comes up that goes, go back to work. Why are you not working?

Why are you searching Herkldurk? Stop being lazy. Go back to work stop search hercule duke yes sorry she yeah that's definitely no you click on the

hercule duking thing and it just like reroutes you to there's 24 hours in a day yeah every hour left unread it's just more videos of mark walberg telling you what time he wakes up at it's antithetical to hustle culture and we're often inundated with focuses on maximizing every

moment of the day where so their new trend is not there's all these people trying to trend maximizing every moment of every day. So what we're doing is we're going to not maximize any moment of any day. Sure. It's quite the trend. Yeah. Sometimes prioritizing rest and having a slower...

I do like the inspirational words where it's like, oh, you just sat around for a week. It's called prioritizing rest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Having a slower start to the day so i think a big what herklderking actually is is the first couple hours of every day you dick around in your bed so instead of getting up and getting out of bed you get up and then you sort of dick around in your bed for i guess the question is like if you work like are

you just waking up earlier like are you trading this for sleep do you think they're waking up earlier like this is like no one's such a, I wake up at 4 a.m. so I can Herculdurk. No one's waking up a couple hours early. Obviously, you know, I'm in the gym by 6, which means I have to be up by 4 for the Herculdurk. Got to get my Herculdurk in. Got to prioritize my mental health.

Two hours of mental health, Herculdurk. No one's Herculdurking at 4 a.m. Herkldurks start at 11 always. But here's even better. She believes the Herkldurk lifestyle, it's always a lifestyle. It's always a lifestyle. Definitely you would have at your wedding, at the polyamorous wedding plan or whatever, Herkldurking area.

Yep. Would you ever consider getting married just on beanbags? You're sitting down so you don't have to stand for that long? That's not terrible. I now pronounce you slob and slob. It can be a healthy form of self-care as long as it offers the space to think and simply exist without interruption and pressure. So it's a lifestyle.

Gwyneth Paltrow has another banger. She's always fucking cooking. Gwyneth Paltrow is probably my favorite when she comes up with her things. Chris Martin, just every day. I forget that they're together. I always forget that. They're not together. And every day he goes.

Oh, okay. Yes. I forget that they dated then. Well, they have kids. Okay. Well, I forget that too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Basically, I forget all of the parts until you remember it.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Name some more things about Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow. Also forgot them. That's actually all I know is that they're just divorced. Ex-butt over here. But I'm telling you, he's probably

with all that goop nonsense with the vagina stuff. Definitely. And Chris Martin does stay winning like China. Oh, I mean, dude. Remember when we were in Ireland? They're only allowed

to have seven bands play. So Ireland, it was Dublin. Yeah. That was Dublin, right? Dublin, yeah. They have this rule where they can only have seven

concerts a year at the arena because it causes too much traffic yeah 80 000 seater and basically so seven people come and chris martin's one of them and he comes for seven shows a year so it's like the government basically says all your competition it'd be like if they go i'm you can only have five comedy shows in new york a year and one of them's ryan long like chris martin's living pretty you know what I mean? Yeah, and he's dating Dakota Johnson. He's doing all right. Chris Martin is doing A-okay.

Yeah. But the new thing Gwyneth Paltrow's up to, and she has her goop. They're like a wellness brand, but they've come up with this new thing, Wellness Gurus at Goop. She has a whole team of gurus coming up with this stuff, and the gurus at Goop are now suggesting that sighing can reduce anxiety symptoms and calm you down

so they're suggesting uh when you wake up you do five minutes of just sighing is that before the herkul dirking or after i think you herkul dirk for an hour five minutes yeah so you do one more hour you do two hours of herkul dirk and so you lie in your bed for two minutes and then for two hours you go i can't imagine i'm gonna be less depressed if I'm lying in bed just going. No, this is what Danny does. He sits in his bed hurrican-durcan. He looks at the Big Mac container empty that he just ate and And he goes, I already ate it. It's like the one that got away.

If I had a time, if only I had a time machine, I could eat that puppy again. I gotta go to the bathroom, but it's so far. Just relieved myself. Yeah. Your new Hercule Durkin bedpan By Gwyneth Paltrow The problem is sighing And the relief of urinating

Are the same noise Did you sigh? No that one was a piss That's a sigh That's a cum That's how you fucking bust a nut Which one are those? That was all three right there I told you to stop coming That's how you fucking bust a nut. Which one are those?

That was all three right there. I told you to stop coming in the bed. Well, then remove the Big Mac smell. I can still smell the remnants. Good idea for JJ Candle, Big Mac smell. Big Mac smell would be all right, Candle. I don't know if his scientists can do that. If his R&D department can whip something up like that.

You know what is interesting? When I was doing taxes, as much as the tax man's a scumbag, it is sort of a trip down memory lane a little bit. You're just like, oh yeah, that pizza place was all right. You know what I mean? Because I go through every single one of my, I go through all my credit cards, everything. So it's like you literally go through all 365 days of your year.

And you're just like, oh, right. Remember when we were in? Like I was like, you know, I was looking at the things like, oh, that bar we went in St. John's. Oh, that was, I remember like jokes based on like the location. It is kind of a fun. The upside of taxes. Ryan managed to find the upside of taxes. That should be, dude, that should literally be like a IRS commercial to get people to do more taxes.

You go, yeah, taxes blow, but think about all the fun memories I know I don't want to be on the side of the IRS However it was sort of There was a few things Well expenses too though Don't forget though Danny So when you're going through expenses They are actually good because you're like This is money they ain't getting

So you're just like you know what I mean You're seeing something like oh I'll see like a prop or something like a shirt and i'll be like oh we write that sketch or whatever and it was like that's money that the government's not getting because it's expensive yeah you're fucking emits on that yeah when you're going through money that you are paying them you're not happy about it but when you're going through money you're not paying them it's even it is good and ryan is even you're doing it on two levels because you're like, sorry, migrants, you're not getting any of this money.

Sorry, you fucking migrants. You're not welcome here and you're not getting my goddamn tax money. Yeah, you're like, oh, that was a funny joke and also 10 less dollars the migrants are getting. And also I'm like kind of being patriotic by not getting these goddamn migrants anymore money. So that's kind of good, yeah.

I'm telling you, there was a few things that I was like, oh, that's fucking funny. Here's a good one. Actually, one is I went to a restaurant and there's a restaurant called Kavanaugh's Rittenhouse. Oh, Kavanaugh's Rittenhouse. And I looked it up while I was doing the taxes. I was like, was that like a joke? Because, you know, like Judge Kavanaugh and Kyle Rittenhouse. So I was it up while I was doing the taxes. I was like, was that like a joke? Because, you know, like the Judge Cavanaugh and Kyle Rittenhouse.

That is pretty funny. I can't remember. Look it up. Might be a chain. But I was looking at that and I was like, there's a place called Cavanaugh's Rittenhouse? I was like, no. First of all, I was like, what did I buy? You know what I mean? At first you see it and you go... Cavanaugh's Rittenhouse is a sports bar in Philly. Oh yeah, we went here. You were with me.

I was with you. Yeah, we got wings. So we went, see? We went here after Helium. You're currently watching Danny do a trip down memory lane. It's not so bad, isn't it? And we couldn't find anywhere to eat. And then we found, I didn't even know that it was called. Not so bad during the trip down memory lane.

And I didn't know that it was called Kavanaugh's Rittenhouse. Neither did I. I think it was the only place that was open. Yeah, I think I. And we were waiting for our train. I looked it up and I saw that it was in Philly too, but then I forgot. Yeah, but it was the only, I remember this now. It was the only, you're right.

It was the only place that was open. Why was it called Cavanaugh's Rittenhouse? And you know what the thing was? It was like a Rittenhouse, like a Rittenhouse is a type of thing.

We're a dynamic sport. But it would be funny if, the neighborhood is called Rittenhouse. Well, it would be way funnier if it was just like a fucking dog that was like, I'm naming this after

Cavanaugh and Rittenhouse. Yeah, this was called like McKegan's four years ago. We're doing a little rebranding people cavanaugh's written house yeah we're just uh naming our bar r kelly's cosby's cosby house r kelly's cosby house but yeah yeah obviously some people are listening to that being like do not compare written nose to cause sure. One's a patriot. How about here's a good one. George Floyd was guilty.

Pub and Ale House. Chauvinity Insanity. Pub and Ale House. You could have a place called chauvin's gun chauvin's written house chauvin's written no dogging yeah exactly chauvin's written house gun range but yeah i thought that i was like when i was going through it i was like ballsy yeah and then I looked it up And I was like Yeah yeah Fucking

Okay the streets Rittenhouse I thought it was like Rittenhouse Rittenhouse is the area I thought it was a type of house Called a Rittenhouse Old school name for a bar

Yeah Rittenhouse neighborhood So this is what other Wacky shit girls are up to Because girls love reading books Right Have you ever dated a girl That doesn't love reading

Currently No Doesn't love reading She's She's gonna be mad that i'm saying this right now because she fancies herself a reader but no no she doesn't fancy herself a reader but when we met she had this book on her nightstand that she was reading and she's still reading it how to settle settle for less well i can happily say she didn't read it so lucky for me no i don't know what it is but it's been sitting on her nightstand

literally since i've met her and she's decisions for a small dick man so when do we meet here uh we're coming up on four years still working away at it interesting yeah yeah well these girls are positing they said the reason why men don't read books it's deeper than you think and their hypothesis is men only read books like uh you know self-help books and stuff like that. And it kind of relates to the Hercule Durkin thing because they're basically saying men only read books because their hypothesis is because of misogyny and stuff like this. And they go, men only read books to better themselves,

whereas girls, because we're not misogynists, will read books for fun. Yeah, I'm going to go as far as say I don't think any guys I know read books. I don't really know anyone who reads fiction you read books used to yeah but because the thing is i don't know if i'll ever read a book ever again even if you say i've ordered three books in the last two years and i haven't read one of them i've ordered 25 books in the last two years and i haven't read one of them um you always think you're gonna dude i brought a book with me Europe, and it's a book I've read before already that I wanted to read again.

It's like 80 pages, and I read maybe 20 pages of it on one flight, and then I forgot about it. The thing is, even if you do self-help, you go, well, self-help, I'm doing the audio book because I'm a grinder. Exactly. So you're like, grinders don't just sit and read books. You can't speed the slow process. I read on fucking 3.5 that's what i'm saying right but the problem is that i have while i'm notice jacking up is that i have more of uh sometimes like a recall issue with certain

words that i used to definitely like and you think that's quicker and it's i think it's reading related that i i take a little longer sometimes to get to certain words. But I don't know if that trade-off is worth it because I'll just say something stupid and then get my point across. I've never been a big word guy, really. Yeah. That is something that someone who's not a big word guy would say. Well, how would you say it? I don't know. You think there's a big word for not being a big word guy?

Yeah. What? Illiterate? I don't know. I've never been much of a literacy. I don't know. Well. not being a big word guy? Yeah. What? Illiterate? I don't know. I've never been much of a literacy. I don't know. Someone smarter than us can... I'm not saying I'm a big word guy either.

Sounds like you are. I'm a large word man. There you go. Added an extra couple of letters on there. I'm sure Dennis Miller could turn that into a big mouthful. Yeah. It kind of annoys me when people use too big of words. Like, what are you doing, pal?

What are you trying to prove? That was like the joke about Dennis Miller forever. He's just nonsense. Like, you'd say, like, just very flowery. It is very flowery. Content creator recently wondered aloud why every boy she knows seems to only read self-help books on productivity. Books that can be upheld as pinnacles of masculine identity. It's just so funny.

This girl's in a relationship. The guy's reading finance books or how to better yourself. And she's just essentially watching TV on a book. And then has to be like, well, obviously there's some reason that isn't just like he's trying to better himself. And you're like, no, the reason is reading books on a book. Yeah. And then has to be like, well, obviously there's some reason that isn't just like he's trying to better himself. And you're like, no, the reason is reading books is a hobby. Yeah, reading books is a hobby.

And reading these books is not a hobby. And it's a hobby that some people have that they can look down on people who they deem to have. It's a high echelon hobby. My parents are both readers. They're big readers. And they'll definitely like thumb their,

you know, they'll look down their nose... It's a highfalutin hobby. ...at me and my brother who are just TV watchers and whatnot. Exactly. And probably it is better to read than watch TV, but I don't do fucking neither. Yeah. The only time I was watching TV ever is if I'm with someone, and it's like you can't read books with someone side-by-side.

What's the point? That'd be the clingiest chick of all time i just read my book in peace i don't think i've watched a tv show by myself or a movie by myself in fucking five years so she says uh uh ben keaton says kevin hart's tiktok when she asks why are you guys against having fun when you read? With a clear and concise answer. Society, he said, is the answer. I grew up in a generation where the worst thing that you could be called is gay. So they're saying that guys don't read because they're afraid to be called gay.

That's not the reason I read. Don't read. That's because I literally just can't focus. I mean, I never slotted into my day. And I do feel like, yeah, if I was going to block off like nine hours to read, or even if I was on vacation, it's like, yeah, I'll fucking read a thing that would help me. That's true. The thing is, I do read a lot on my computer.

Like, I read a lot of articles and stuff like that. I do read. I'm not like never reading, but does Twitter count? Would you ever print out an article and then read it at the beach? Danny's at the beach. Danny's at Tulum in the beach beach everyone has their books then he has a printed out hotbow article bring the newspaper to the beach you print it out if your girl's like are you bringing a book you're like yeah i printed out a few pages some listicles i printed out these

20 listicles i'm gonna rip through at the beach. I printed out a few things from the Washington Post. Yeah. That was the other thing from Tucker, is I feel like the Washington Post guy asking for him to release him was an interesting move because I bet you that guy, being a Washington Post guy, probably hates Tucker. No, I watched your journal. Oh, never oh never mind yeah i retract what i said back to books books books i need my books when men's tell me if this is the reason you don't read danny when men's masculinity

is constantly being questioned they're not given the freedom to explore the pastimes. They are told they are too feminine. I've never in my life thought books was like a female thing. Like I've never been like, oh, you're reading a book. What a feminine thing to do. You know what? I do feel like it's a little. Really? Yeah. I never thought that.

But I don't feel like it's a feminine thing. It's chicken. I think it's like a nerdier thing. It's the chicken before the egg where I'm just like, yeah, because everyone I know that reads a ton is like, I feel like every chick i know always like reads a lot that's yeah the none note maybe my last girlfriend read a bit but like not really well this is probably the best one of the series of women uh making things uh inspirational and i'm just going to find it here. Australia's first female-owned

sex doll company. Good for them. What is funny fighting the Patreon with the, you know, fuckathon4000? Hey, someone's got to do it. You know what else I saw? Why not be a woman? By the way, there was a thing that house owners,

women own more houses than men in america yeah but that has actually a pretty reasonable explanation explain it to me so there's more no but there's more single women own houses in america in 47 out of 50 states the uh for single homeowners they're more women than men but the reason is because women live longer and they're mostly just widows okay good point however i would say if that was the other way around where they said men owned more than women all the explanations would be like the gaps are always reasonable explanations you go why do men make more money it's like they work more hours like for you you go mind-blowing you know what i mean so if you said obviously most things have an explanation

but well that that's because the thing is this isn't even one of those like gotcha type articles where it's no but my point was if it was the other way around yeah i go you would you would see need to close the house owning gap article right yeah yeah exactly yeah that's kind of the only point yeah this is like yas queen you slay for fucking driving your husband to an early grave. Did you see that there was the AI brothel in Berlin? Yeah. I don't get it. I can't see myself ever going to that.

Basically, you put on the goggles and you fuck like a doll. And then so it's like... Why do you... Well, you're using a used doll that other of these guys fucking ran through. This doll's been run through.

I couldn't see myself doing that. No. I... Why would... I mean... Because in mean it's in berlin some kind of crazy they're like weird sex culture in germany and stuff but like you got to be some kind of depraved level weirdo or you like can't handle physical contact i actually saw that guy get your own i mean i guess the sex doll you basically got a sex doll on layaway and you go fuck it at the fucking brothel that comic uh mario uh you know the yeah the german dude he i saw him do a thing basically saying that in germany the government if you're handicapped will pay for prostitutes for you what the fuck yeah because they just see it as like a human right and Well, hello. Ich bin ein Deutschland.

The meme? Me and the boys walking into Dutchland. Me and the boys walking into Parliament. I love telling you. If you don't mind. I would like her to be Latino Spaniard chick, please. Maybe two, maybe three. Me and the boys walking into the parliament like...

No, it's just like Stephen Hawking pulling up. Whore horse, please. One for the whore house. Whore horse, I'm very disabled. whore whores please one for the whore whore whores I'm very disabled charge it to the government then you walk away like Kaiser Soze

thanks suckers walk away until next time government pussies wild well I don't think the their government employees i think they're just the government kind of acts as a go-between but they do register though they said in this article like all the so the government gives them the money no no no i think that i that's a good

question actually no i don't maybe you might have to be like a registered government provider yeah yeah but it says in this article, actually, about the Berlin thing, where they go, all sex workers in Berlin are registered. You have a license, like you drive a cab. I'm a registered sex worker. Could have been bad.

Yeah, but they register. It's all just so above board there that they're like, yeah, I have a license. I'm a licensed sex worker. So do you think that the government sends the money do you think he has to watch he has to i wonder because like does he get to pick head of sex dude that's what i'm saying like this do you get to pick or do they just send you some that's a fucking bizarre job you're the guy that matches like retarded people with

fucking prostes like yeah i don't well yeah i guess once you have certain level of uh cognitive faculties i guess you're not allowed to it's like your joke kind of yeah because it's like illegal and then so it must be people who like you maybe have like ms or something where your body just doesn't work but you have sound mind jesus and then you can just pick some and they just give you a website and just go yeah i'm all for those guys paying in proceeds. I don't know if I should be picking up the tab. Hey, man, Germany's picking up the tab for all of Europe.

I'm sure it's not an issue. For every fucking country that doesn't know how to govern themselves in all of Europe is basically getting paid for by Germany. Interesting. Germany, that's the whole thing. It's like the EU. Sorry, everybody complains in the EU, because Germany just like for all the countries

that are just spending all this fucking money and don't know how to take care of themselves and germany just kind of covers it they do pick up the tab for everything yeah the common argument against sex dolls is that they're for perverts who can't form relationships with women who or so uh let me just uh say what's happening here before because we switched out a lot of things so she's saying at first she rethought that it was a misogynistic thing yeah with women because they can't handle uh real women and they want to be able to do whatever they want to the sex dolls and sex dolls can encourage misogyny and give me men free reign to do whatever they want fuck something that cannot protest that's what she thought at first and then now a woman runs a sex doll business and she

realizes i was gonna say though but if you're like if you're a feminist wouldn't you be like hey it's better that this guy takes this out on this well it's a vice article they found a way to make sex you know what i mean but isn't there the other side we go like look just be thankful that he's not having to come in contact with a real human woman yeah obviously but anything you do if you're you're misogynist if you fuck him you're misogynist you you don't fuck him yeah can't win when i met um just mel the director of fun time dolls she offered a sex positive argument sure but it's like legitimately and her sex argument was i make money yeah her sex positive argument was like yes but a girl's doing it now but girls

making money from this so it's now sex positive you go oh we all have it that way we all have our fetishes if someone thinks differently uh and wants to have a sex doll uh there's nothing wrong with that she told vice so basically when a girl does it it's inspirational when a guy does it it's misogynist as it should be as it should be for mel the difference between fun time dolls and the numerous other stories providing fun time dolls that's what her thing is that's what i wouldn't want such a chick name for that that is a very chick name for them fun time dolls fun time dolls yuck leave me alone with them well if you're hercule dick and i'm taking us my fun time doll for a spin and dream girls uh was the female touch all of the companies i know in australia are run by men

and my customers appreciate the female touch i'm not i think if i was banging a uh female doll maybe there's some benefit of the fact that you're like chicks made this not dudes but it's still the factory workers are factory i mean they still are just like made in china aren't they yes exactly it's just silicone i knew that i needed women in this space when i the ulti ultimate titty fuck 3000 jerk up mega jerk off machine i finally you know what i mean yeah finally women are entering the jerk off machine space and i realized that there's nothing women can't do no no they can even make silicon just as good as men if you see you're you might have thought that you know they can't name them as good as men they definitely yeah yeah they can't name them as good as men i'd like to know

what the other names are they just call them guys probably just call them stacy yes yeah exactly yeah not super fun time or whatever fun time does seem like a very japanese name super fun time doll okay we have uh a fucking banger of an episode coming on the patreon as well and the bugman versus bugman competition which our lips are sealed on what happened is being edited before though they were not sealed before but bonus episode every week we have this full competition it was actually really funny and honestly i think people are going to really enjoy it and that will be coming out very soon it is currently in the process of being finished at patreon.com slash the boys cast and we will see you next week peace