The Boyscast with Ryan Long - CRYSTALS & CUP CHECKS

Episode Date: October 22, 2021

Support the boys sponsors: http://keeps.com/boyscast http://ritual.com/boyscast 0:00 Intro 0:10 Canceled Dallas Shows 1:23 The Texas State Fair 4:37 Danny Has A New Crystal 8:26 Female Winner Of Literary Award Turns Out To Be 3 Men 22:25 Article - Adele Lost Weight And I'm Upset 47:57 Ad - ritual.com/boyscast 49:31 Don't Make Fun Of Women's Sports 01:00:25 Former Raiders Coach Fired For Misogynistic & Homophobic Emails 01:11:58 Ad - keeps.com/boyscast 01:13:30 Male Workers Fixing Radiators In All Women College Unsettling Residents 01:33:09 Outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And you can tell our friends, and they can have my things when we're dead But we don't end forever, but we don't end forever Welcome to the Boyscast Boys, boys, boys, boys, boys, boys Accidentally four boys Back from Dallas, which was a nightmare What was people doing? Loving accidentally four boys

Yeah, well the first segment is accidentally three boys But before... Just want to apologize to the Dallas situation loving accidentally four boys yeah well the first segment is accidentally three boys but before just want to apologize to the dallas situation basically the venue canceled to a day before we scrambled found one venue to do one show which was packed but then i was just getting like 20 dms a day being like hey i'm at the venue we tried to get the word out i can't believe that the fucking venue was not emailing people They did, they emailed everyone But some people didn't have their email attached or whatever And basically the gist was

The guy hired his brother-in-law To come do the plumbing I don't know what happened If anybody's to blame, it's the fire department The Dallas fire department for saying Look, if there's a fire during this comedy show Which there most certainly would be Just because you're fucking

It's so fire. So fire. And then they were like, everybody will die. Well, the fire department showed up and they were more concerned with getting their calendars out there than they were with my show. I got my calendar autographed by them, though. Mr. October.

Nah. Nah. Anyways, me and Danny stayed out there and went to the fair which fucking stunk yeah texas texas stay fair which was really state texas day fair had a lot but i'll say this we went to dueling pianos which was okay it was fun and we went to the state fair which was garbage basically the state i don't like activities period that much but but like this one, everywhere you looked, it was a, there was a lot of weekend dads on their last straw. The one guy, he was,

it was like a meme. The guy was standing there and his, his daughter was just kicking him in the leg and he's just standing there taking it. And then at one point he just sighed and put his hands in his head. Cause this guy did not want to be at this fucking fair broken down, man, broken down. And they were scam artists at the fair too,

because two, the biggest thing was they go, okay, so you'd only buy things with tickets okay and then i go what about the games they're like yeah tickets as well so i bought pretty abundant supply of tickets because i'm gonna hit the games then you go over the games they go oh yeah it's a different ticket for the and you can't get rid of the thing is there's no like oh returning the tickets it's a real fucking racket everything was a racket the other thing that was the returning of tickets and then people were trying to sell their tickets desperately because it was like they're like the fair was ending for the year yeah so they're like they're trying to unload their tickets and then on top of that the first the ride i went on it goes oh it's like a high

rise that takes you to the other side and back and then it takes it took me literally the other side which is a mile away and then i get off and then they go get off and i go oh yeah i wanted to end where i started and they go no it just goes to the other side of the fair and then if you want you can pay again to go back everything's a scam with these people i got to the they closed beers at 10 p.m bought a beer at 9 50 waited in line for the beer and then the girl goes oh yeah beers are shut up i go yeah well we paid for it 10 minutes ago she goes i just took the taps off and i go yeah you're holding them in your hands. You can put them back on. She goes, once they're off, they're off.

Once they're off, they're off. I literally... My, honestly, highlight of the fair was leaving with zero tickets. I was able to spend exactly the tickets. I was reluctantly going on crappy rides. Again, at the end, I just bought two bottles of Coke to just get rid of them for $8 a piece.

Yo, fairs fucking suck. Yeah. The only time I would say a fair is fun is if you're fucking tuned up. And then on top of that, you're not with like your girlfriend. You're like, you're a single guy that's on a date for the first time. And you're sort of putting on a whole thing. Yeah. You should have shown winning the prize.

Yeah. You're there to put on a whole show for a girl and make her like you more. Really big dog the carnies and stuff. All that stuff. That's the only way is if you go, yeah, obviously this fair sucks, but I'm here. But when you're with your fucking, you know,

I'm with Danny, which I've been dating for a while. You're just like, I don't know. Yeah, I'm not here to impress anyone. I was trying to enjoy myself, which is not possible. Funny thing that they had there too, which is like a very Texas thing. Cause like the only real fair I think I'm not here to impress anyone. I was trying to enjoy myself, which is not possible. Funny thing that they had there too, which is like a very Texas thing, because like the only real fair

I think I've ever been to is the CNE in Toronto, which is a similar vibe, way smaller. But they had, you can rent the fucking rascal scooters, which is so American. And then there's just like all these people who clearly don't need them.

That's the future of America. A lot of people rolling around in scooters that don't need a scooter. Yeah, they don't need, they're just like literally to go, oh, what's your medical condition? You go, I'm lazy. Yeah, yeah, I have a couple extra bucks off the dole. There's like gas in here, Ryan.

It does smell a little bit like gas in here. Hold on. And the only other positive is that Danny has a new crystal. I don't even, I think I left it. Danny basically went to, there's a guy that's selling crystals, and one one of them was good for finance and he haggled the guy down i didn't have to see my girlfriend fucking when she goes she goes he gave me these two fool's golds no you're happy he said he said he goes he gave him these two fool's gold nuggets which is like i'm just like my girlfriend's also jewish and i'm, it's kind of like your joke.

It's like the kids eating gold, the lack of self-awareness. Dan, you cannot be in good faith as a Jewish man who does finance walking around with crystals in your pocket to help you make more money. Not to mention literal fool's gold. Like that's what it is. It's fool's gold. And I'm like,

they're fool's gold. It's not helping me make more money unless I can convince someone it's real gold and then sell it to them also yeah we were sort of saying i'd love the idea of a guy working at like a stand on the side of the road and in dallas being like in this fucking crystal you put in your pocket and you get rich it's like well you have a hundred of them why are you selling rocks on the side of the road you know that fucking crystal's about to make you rich you know that like last that last yeah exactly you're like if these work so well then you have a fucking whole bucket of them that hulu show is like the last mass man on earth or whatever if there's an alternate show where it's like last woman there's no women left and it's just like

be dark times for the crystal salesman what do we do with these things crystal salesman's not doing good not doing good in a womanless world crystal salesman well she we do with these things crystal salesman's not doing good not doing good in a womanless world crystal salesman well she was happy for herself she came back and she was like good news you can buy me a new versace purse yeah you go i don't know if that's in the budget and you go i will be soon when bitcoin hits a million dollars the best is danny's girlfriend she's actually pushing it. Danny goes, I'm not putting that in your pocket. She goes, put it in your pocket.

Yeah, she goes, put it in your pocket. She's actually arguing with Danny. Superstitious. I go, okay. And then I left it at the hotel. I don't believe him. I think he put it somewhere else. He's got it in the mix somewhere.

I don't have it. What about around your neck? No. I had a gold chain once, remember? And then I lost it on our fucking animals shoot. I didn't lose it. Someone stole it. You walking around with a gold chain once, remember? And then I lost it on our fucking animals shoot. I didn't lose it. Someone stole it.

You walking around with a crystal. And that was actually worth money. To make more money is so funny. I guarantee you anyone who's bought that crystal is operating a net negative for the price of the crystal. Yeah. Well, that's the thing, too. He gave it to her. So he's obviously like, I'm going to give her this fucking bullshit thing.

And hopefully she'll buy some of these chick crystals that you put in your pussy to make them smell good or whatever. That's stuff women do. I don't know what they do with these crystals, but for their chakras or whatever the fuck. And then she just goes, thanks, and walks away. And he goes, ah. She gave you a juice. He literally goes, I think I thought I had a sale there.

Never caught a nice job. I thought I had a sale there. Never caught an honest John. That's what you do when you're a guy that got a good deal on a prostitute and she thought she was going to take you for more. You go, never caught an honest John. Peter and Fool's Gold. Probably the boys of the week was accidentally three boys. No, it's three boys.

Three boys, yeah. So these were the fucking dudes of the millennium. This is so funny. So these three guys, basically what happened was this female writer award. What is he looking for? Just making sure the gas isn't still on. You thought you might saw his financial deals over there? Just making sure the gas isn't still on.

Was it actually on? Yeah. Oh, you went to close the window and you literally just turned the gas on. There you go. This would be the only podcast where people are just watching us die slowly. Where we go, I'm tired. Are you tired? And then we go, I just got to have a nap.

And then we literally just die. Well, that's because you didn't get the don't get burnt crystals. Don't get gas crystals. So female writer awarded prestigious literary prize turns out to be three men. That's the classic fucking when you can't get in an R-rated movie

and three boys go on each other's shoulders with a trench coat. You go, wait, are you fucking one woman? And you go, no. Yes. Yes, we're one woman. Yeah, they have the wig on the top. The wig on the top. The top rung.

The top rung. And then they're just all on each other's shoulders. That's amazing. They came out to get their prize and they decided to do a reveal of who they actually were. Because they've been writing as this woman because obviously women sell scripts a little better right now. There's a little more demand for them. A little more demand for them. As soon as they announce, they go,

and the winner of this award, prestigious feminism award, and then they come out and say, Joe Smith, and then they come out and they go, you just hear a... Yeah! And they come out doing the Ric Flair arms.

They go, I just want to say the dude's fucking rock! Yeah! and they come out doing the Ric Flair arms they go I just want to say the dudes fucking rock yeah this one's for the boys fucking all just like crush beers on their head

stone cold stuff yeah they come out as they're walking on stage they crush beers on their head you were saying it's sort of like

give the stunner to the fucking like host or whatever stone cold stunner the presenter they do the stunner to the runner up girl who didn't get it I think the thing too is yeah they straight up did the reveal Stunner the Presenter. They do the Stunner to the runner up girl who didn't get it. I think that this thing too is,

yeah, they straight up did the reveal. They go, and the winner is, and they said the name, and then the three of them like all look at each other and go, let's do this. And they all walk up and everyone's like, who are these fucking goofs?

What are you guys doing? There's a woman won this award, people. Not so fast. I guess the feminism take, yeah, it does take three men to write as good as one woman absolutely it does by the way this is exactly what jamie foxx did this is jamie foxx's big story is jamie foxx's name is not jamie foxx it's like whatever some name right yeah and then he couldn't get spots on an open mic at their like showcase at some comedy club and so he goes i'm gonna change

because women could get up because women were getting more off and he just like could not get on he's like i'd call in every week i couldn't get on and then he goes she's like you know what i'm gonna change my name to like something where you think it might be a woman and so he changed his name to jamie foxx and he's like instantly i'm getting spots so funny yeah so they said we didn't hide behind a woman this is afterwards when they're getting asked about it doing the press tour on the three boys. We didn't hid behind the name, Marcero said. I don't know if a female pseudonym would have sold more than a male one.

I don't have the faintest idea, but I doubt it. So he's saying that, no, we just decided to do it because we just wanted to pick a pseudonym. We picked a girl. He's like, oh, are you asking me whether a girl might sell better?

I'm not sure. I mean, we did get a ton of press from all the feminist magazines. You know what? I personally doubt it. He's not sure if a girl might sell better. I'm not sure. I mean, we did get a ton of press from all the feminist magazines. You know what? I personally doubt it. He's not sure if the girl situation helped him at all. Does that help? I mean, it definitely helped in the sense that they go like,

hey, we want to pitch this manuscript. And they're like, yeah, we're not taking manuscripts from men right now. Well, I've been in these conversations. Of course. I've been in these conversations many, i've been in these conversations many many times where you know they were i was in the thing and we had we had a digital series that was doing really well or we had a script that they're really interested in they're kind of like listen i'm gonna cut we can we can all just cut the shit here we're not making

something with a white dude yeah exactly i don't you know i don't know how many how different ways we could tell you this, but we have two spots for white guys and they're filled with 80 year olds who've been here for the history of time. Yeah. My favorite thing too is when you call them out for that and they go like, whoa, whoa, whoa. They're like, that's not what's going on.

Like the publicly, they would never be like, no, we just, we, and you're like, all right, no, you have to pretend. But you were pretending. Well, they cast, they, even you're like, all right. No, you have to pretend. But you were pretending. Well, they cast, even they cast writer's rooms, right? Like they do, they're, you know, it's, this thing never ends, right? So they started casting writer's rooms the same way they cast a set where they're like, yeah, we need the certain amount of skin colors in a writing room. But what you really get, which is always the funniest part, because they're like, yeah,

we need a all different like diversity in the writing's room. It's like, yeah, yeah. We need people of all different colors that went to like college at fucking harvard for writing yes or whatever right like we need we need like drama kids of all races it's like you never find like it's it's never they go we actually need more diversity so we'll get like a black guy that was like the black comic that like went to prison yeah yeah yeah no no no never that that never seems to be the kind of diversion they talk about no they never get like a fucking devout

muslim guy that thinks women should be in the kitchen black trump supporter yeah no that doesn't seem like the black comic who's like actually wears the fucking confederate flag he's like he goes but he kills but even i don't even have to you know, I'm not even going as far as to say that it's not always, oh, uh, political diversity or whatever. It's straight up is even the diversity they're talking about where they're like different perspectives, not even just right or left. It's all people that kind of were into like improv or whatever. It's, it's never when they get the diver, the race.

Yeah. They don't want some fucking cool dude coming in and being like, oh, you guys are improvs? You guys are fucking faggots. No, no. It's never like a guy that was on the football team. You know what I mean? It's just a bunch of the exact same person. I mean, literally Shane, the guy on the football team.

Right, exactly. It's never. No, it's never the exact. It's never a different person that happens to have a different color of skin. It's the full package with the skin color, right? Yeah. Accidentally three boys. Accidentally three boys. Accidentally three boys.

You were sort of saying, which is making me laugh, that it's like the blacklist. The blacklist, yeah. Have you ever seen the movie Trumbo? Yeah, I did. Sick movie. If you haven't seen it,

I honestly, that was one of the movies I wrote. Writes his all the scripts in the bathtub. Amazing movie, yeah, in the bathtub. And he was like,

just cranking out bangers one after another. But it was like in the McCarthyism or whatever, and then they blacklisted all the communists and then all the communist writers had to like they couldn't work in hollywood they had to work under like pseudonyms and stuff it's basically this how many girls when they watched that movie trembo where the guy wrote in the bathroom or in the bathtub were just like you're telling me that i could do my work so you're taking self-care to a new level wait a

second so having a bath is legitimately the path to and then you see them three years later the pruniest people you've ever seen in their lives with about one page written you go what have you been doing they're just too much self-care not enough writing yeah they girls watch that and they go you're telling me the path to being a famous writer is more bath more bath bombs i just had like the bath supply store bed bath and beyond you go uh you know what yeah i'm just looking for some work supplies i mean like the first scene too they'd be like just you know just like fucking over it just like can't figure it out and they're like interior bathtub like they're just it's just like starts all bathtub related interior bathroom night day it's sort of this is one of those things that sort of dispels the question that everyone always

talks about lived experience because the truth is i mean well i i don't know so the thing takes place in the 1830s or some shit. Okay. So it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, well, I mean,

that's a perfect example of if, if some of the characters, if you can't write the, like someone else's perspective, I mean, you gotta have knowledge. Like, again,

you can't be like, all right of Muslim family, but I don't know. And I don't want to do any research on it. Like, but I mean, if you're, if you're good at writing,

I mean the same reason some people are good at impressions where you kind of see someone, you could like mimic the things they do the way they move their hands the way they think about you know i mean it's the same reason like i can't do that but i think i can do that with character where i can sort of uh meet someone for like a short period of time and if i know decently about like their background in the sense that i don't need to uh like like let's say i somewhat understand their culture. Like, we talk about improv guys. Like, I kind of understand how those people work enough.

Absolutely. You can definitely, like, write other people, obviously. Also. That's what makes a good writer, right? The other side of that coin is you go, okay, so, like, you know, the whole, like, oh, white people can only write white. So then it's like, what? So every person who's not white, they're not allowed to write white people either? No, I don't even.

Like, they have to stay in their lane? And then you're like, every fucking book is just a monocult like you know there's no diversity in anything well they sort of say these things to get the desired outcome and they don't really have to the implications of it don't really have to uphold no no you know i mean not not for them they go oh no no we can't they're like we've been living in a white white supremacist country forever obviously we can do it right exactly i guess that's what it is right so they said but the you know what the the thing and this goes back to the robin d'angelo thing is people like that a lot of the people that are sort of pushing this stuff

you know like let's say a white university professor let's say white people in entertainment that are just surrounded by white people they probably are like well we can't write those people probably and you're kind of like yeah maybe you can't like robin d'angelo she's like we as white people can't understand black people he's like you probably actually don't yeah yeah probably don't yeah you probably know what i mean it probably would come off as pretty racist if you did it yeah it's like a super simp like incel being like you know we men can never get in the heads of women and you're just like i guess you're having trouble with it i seem to be able to get in there pretty quickly and fucking play

them like a fucking fit dunk crowbar but um so they said august martinez george diaz and antonio antonio antonio these guys are probably pussy crushers too with names like that in Spain you don't have a name like Antonio Marsario without fucking lay and pipe pipe layer so they revealed their identity

while receiving the 2021 Planeta Award and a check of one million dollars and apparently what they actually did was they came out

and they said just want to say that we're going to be spending all this money at the fucking Rippers tonight it'd be funny if they come in and get the, just want to say that we're going to be spending all this money at the fucking rippers tonight. It'd be funny. They come in,

they get the check for a million dollars ago. Pretty funny. I have you guys busy. If you bitches got this, it'd only be 700,000. Just drop the mic. Prior to writing the three guys published their novels and they worked under their real names.

And then Mola was also described as a 40 something mother of three children who worked as a professor something mother of three children who worked as a professor while writing crime thrillers in her spare time the perfect you know what's the best about this too is that now like because obviously it's like a bit of an embarrassment i think or some people would be like it's not okay okay that part of like an editor's job is going to be like being a private detective like you have to do all this fucking work now you know you can't just be like you got i mean. You have to do all this fucking work now. Totally. You can't just be like,

you got to, I mean, again, but so what they never met? Like the editor, like they just, a manuscript. They maybe talked to the agents. Yeah, they go talk to the agents.

It's very possible, right? I've had deals where I wasn't like involved. Yeah, you never met them. Yeah. Yeah. But they went, it's fucking amazing. And they went full out, right?

They go, the story that everyone would love. You think there was a Mrs. Doubtfire component? I was actually... Where they go, they go, oh, they have to meet you. And he goes, oh, what? Are you serious? They go, yeah, they're not giving us

the fucking go-ahead until they meet you. I know there's whole things down there. Hello! Oh, sure, yeah, literally. Three of them are like... It's like, honestly, a comedy. Three of them, okay, which one of us is going?

And they go, no, you look like the most woman. No, you look more like a woman. You're fucking going. I love that they came up with the Doubtfire. Hello! I'm here for the manuscript! Why do you guys have English accents? I don't know! It's the Mr. Burns

when they go, Homer's trying to be Mr. Burns, and he goes, Hi, I'm here to pick up something. Name, please, Mr. Burns. And they go, how about your first name, Mr. Burns? And he goes, I don't know. Hello. Oh, hello.

So when were you born? I don't know. I don't know. What's your husband's name? That's when you get a green card for marriage. They go deep into all your stuff, right? They ask you, like, when was you uh when you get a green card for marriage they go deep into all your stuff right they ask you like when was the last fight you had what did he where did you go on your first date you know yeah you got to come up with a pretty elaborate backstory when you're scamming

that system oh yeah i had a cousin of mine who fucking did like uh it's a big thing where people do like the just pay someone 20 grand they go live with them for like a year okay from another country and then they like basically like yeah you just live in like actually and another person we know did that with a chick and uh she she like oh she's married i'm not sure what you're saying she's saying you're saying it's a fake marriage well they did they pay fake one they've got money for the fake marriage the person pays you and then like you know they and then they show up unannounced so you have to live together you can't like have your own places because they'll be like where is he or she

and then you get like 40 i do remember that i guess you shouldn't say who but no i don't know it's one it's fucking way in the past and two it's like it's no way still not even those are big fraud cases i think they probably just deport you most importantly yeah i know you're right though i remember that they got i mean what was it 50 grand you get for the fake marriage i had very various various for people but like it's a common i mean that's the whole thing it's like it just it's uh people fucking are always trying to get around it but well if you're gonna do this you want to go for a hard backstory that the women can enjoy you go you know i'm working a full-time job as a tenured professor. I have nine children. And in my spare time, I'm cranking out three books a year.

Yeah. I have so many kids, I don't even have time to talk on the phone about it. So don't call me. My dad was sexist. My dad was sexist. Yeah, yeah. So they did all the things. The thing is, you can probably do this with girls, but I don't think you could pull this off with race.

Because if this came out that, like, this out that like yeah that's that's a scandal i think it would be a scandal like for this one they go what's wrong with that because you can do women face i guess i guess and europe's like a little more progressive with this stuff like they don't care they don't quite care as much but if you did yeah exactly if you did uh come out and you go remember that like the person who wrote like blackish was you know some fucking frat boy like i'm a fucking blackish writer yeah and then that guy i think that would be like a huge scandal that you couldn't that's why sean king is uh just laying low you know yeah right exactly he would have been better if he just kept it behind the behind the paywall okay um

the other thing and this one's sort of there's some inside scoop on but slate had this article adele lost weight and i'm a little upset i'm a lot upset glad you just have the luxury of being a little upset lady fucking lot upset did you see that It was like another brother down in the fat army. Ah, God. Another one

bites the dust. Another one bites the dust. Did that bother you that Adele lost a couple? Yeah, as long as

fucking Kevin James doesn't go super skinny. He lost a few. But he had a minute where he was toying with being a skinny

guy. And then you could tell he's like, this life's just not for me. There's a lot of them. Kevin James was toying with being a skinny guy. And then you could tell he's like, this life's just not for me. There's a lot of them. Kevin James was toying with potentially. He was like, for a moment,

he was going to be a skinny guy. I could be a leading man, yeah. And then there's the UFC movie or whatever. What was it? One of those crappy UFC movies. It was the worst movie I've ever seen in my life. I just know because you told me. I walked out of it after 25 minutes.

It was so crappy. I don't think I've ever walked out of was so crappy So what's that movie called Do you remember Thunder on me or something So Kevin James plays a UFC fighter Right And this is maybe I don't know the title of it But Kevin James UFC

Sure Kevin James plays a UFC fighter Right And there's some plot line Like he needs to be a UFC fighter To win money to get his family back Like the stakes are high That he has to be a UFC fighter to win money to get his family back like the stakes are high that he has to become a UFC fighter here comes the boom here comes the boom okay so this all the stakes sort of get set in the first 10-15 minutes or whatever right

and then the first match he does this underground match and it's outdoors and it starts raining so then they spend about 15 minutes comically like slipping around the ring and it's physical comedy you know it's a very three stooges kramer situation where there's your i mean he looks good for him in this he was doing okay in that one but i watched we're 15 20 minutes in the movie and seven of the minutes of his big ufc movie is can you imagine any other movie where it's like rocky and the first thing is like them comically sloppy and you know he tries to stand up they flop and flip around it was just like this is crazy he's falling around the room yeah probably like he accidentally guys fucking does a splits and rips afar it seemed like a south park parody of like a fucking when they

were killing rob schneider it was so crazy i go i cannot do this so i had to leave here comes the boom it was too much but uh he was toying around with the idea jonah hill came out recently and because uh people always are talking about his weight loss because there is a component about all this stuff where if you're a celebrity yeah i have so unfortunately if you're a rich like famous uh celebrity who you put your uh image out there for a living yeah it's like yeah people are going to talk about you putting on 100 pounds and then losing 100 pounds like a year later it's like yeah yeah i mean remember that was unfortunately that is a topic that was the oprah thing forever was like because her

up and down yeah she was all and i mean they always did like the i don't know if you remember the fucking snl had like a fake ah fuck i can't even remember but they had this some fake game show thing and it was like all these hacky comics and then it was like it was they're all like what's the deal with oprah it's like she's fat she's thin she's fat she's thin it's like what's the deal with that one yeah what is it what's up with that yeah that's what i always say when i check when she has the stories that don't go anywhere i go and, and that's today's corner of, what's up with that? What's up with that? There's never any fun.

It's like, something, something. I was walking around, and then this guy, he was looking at the thing for so long. I go, yeah. He goes, what's up with that? What's up with that? There's nothing more to the story. It's just a what's up with that. That guy.

That guy. I'm saying this to advice for girls. Most girls, and this goes for all comics, but a lot of times girls in real life most people that are they're actually funny that are doing comedy it's not connecting or people in real life that are funny and when they meet new people people don't think they're funny it's because no one knows what the fuck you're talking about it's all boils down to they can't premise their things where you just go five minutes and you go what are you talking about what do you do here what do you do here but um so the reason we have inside scoop on this is dan lamarte you know dan lamarte yeah he's a comic he's a super cool guy right and he lost

a hundred pounds uh running running so he's come style he was like a super big comic and he lost a hundred pounds and then he you know he's posted a lot about that online and uh kind of you know made a big like social media thing about it and then he talks about on stage and stuff like that and then he like retweeted that article saying like something about it or whatever and then she retweeted and then it became Adele no no the person who wrote this article so like our body has been having this big fight with her back and forth online the woman who wrote the article being like him being like this is crazy or whatever. And the sure her being like, this is something that I've struggled with. Like,

you know, me being upset about Adele and blah, blah. And then, you know, we shouldn't be blah, blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, talking about people's weights. And he was like, no, the fact that I lost a hundred pounds and I was like very, very fat and unhealthy.

And now I'm in good shape is objectively good. Yeah, of course. That's the thing. Like she literally says, she goes, I don't know if this is a good thing or not. Right.

Yeah, I feel better. My life's better. Yeah, you're like, yeah, it's a good thing. So he was kind of arguing with this chick that wrote the thing. Oh, I didn't know that. That's funny.

But Jonah Hill actually posted. He was like, you need to stop talking about my weight. Like it doesn't help or whatever. And it was just like, shut the fuck up. Or just don't look at your comments. I get a girl being like,

whether or not it's going to stop, it just is what it is if you're going to put your likeness out there for everyone to fucking chomp over. But if you're a guy, it's kind of like, dude. Yeah, like whatever.

You're Jonah Hill. Yeah. You're not getting a lot of sympathy. Well, I sat beside a big one on the plane last time and it really was like i was had to squish in like i couldn't get anywhere near the armrest i was getting bombed although also it's making me laugh that danny said because i always spend about three or four on our plane back from dallas yeah because i had fucking yeah i also had a big one well i didn't

have a big one but fucking so my girl has a dog oh my god this is fucking hilarious so the dog we get on the plane and the dog is like all of a sudden like we're sitting across the island the dog's like kind of being weird and he's like he's kind of like small dog but he's like jumping around and we're like what's going on and so then my uh my girlfriend's like oh maybe he just wants to like you know bring a dog fucking sit well having a dog we're supposed to do right but so anyways so she's like she's like oh she with, yeah, I guess that's what JJ does. But so she switches with the fucking person sitting beside me because we both had the aisles. And then he's still being weird.

And then at one point she's like, maybe he has to go to the bathroom. So then she takes him in. He has this little carrier. She takes him into the bathroom. And the stewardess is like, what are you doing? She's like, I think my dog. And she's like,'s like oh okay she has to go to the bathroom and then the dog proceeds to just shit all over the fucking bathroom and these tiny bathrooms my girlfriend's in there she's like she was getting shit all over her and like it was insane i don't know what when

i go back there to knock on the door she like opens the door she's like sweating and like wet yell do not go in there jim carrey style not and then she opens the door she's like sweating and like wet do not go in there jim carrey style not and then she had the water in her front pocket and she goes what a fucking and i go is there anything i can do and she's like no and then she closed the door and go that sucks ah yeah that'll suck that sucks well i was like the idea that because every time on every plane i get told about three or four times put my mask back on that when the stewardess came up originally danny was like, because every time on every plane I get told about three or four times to put my mask back on.

When the stewardess came up originally, Danny was like, hey, you guys should just get each other's names because you're probably going to get pretty acquainted. Yeah. She got you for the nose. It wasn't even full mask. He goes, can you sign the above your nose?

I go, you guys are going to be friends by the end of this. I generally get to know the stewardess pretty well by the end of it hey barb why don't you get off my fucking back okay it's my silent protest yeah but also i just don't like having it on and then i hate having it on if they if the people come up to you and tell you to take it off if you put it back on if you wait about 10 minutes take it off you usually get about good 50 60 minutes for sure so I probably spend

a three hour flight with only the mask on 20-25 minutes well I do that I don't know if you obviously saw the thing I'm sure lots of people saw it I don't think we have it

on the docket but the thing on Australia with the coffee cup where you're just constantly eating and you don't even have to go anywhere to do it well I just

they give you like the tiny bag of goldfish and then I just have one goldfish left and I'm just like that you just stand with it there I just sit with it I go

and they come down they go can you put your I go I got called on that I have a goldfish I and I'm just like that. You stand with it there. I just sit with it and I go and they come down and they go can you put your I go I got called on that. I have a goldfish. I got called on that. The lady came up to me

and I had the fucking food and like a little bit of food left and she came up three or four flights ago and she was like no you're not. Like put your mask on. Really?

She goes you're not. You've had that little bag for 20 minutes. You know I'm savoring it. And you like take a nibble of a goldfish and you're like'm savoring it and you like take a nibble of a goldfish you're like we're liking it yeah so i think you bugged them so much with all the math stuff to begin with because i never got any shit for that and i always like i'll have my like once the food stuff

comes around i'm like i got my mask off for an hour i see you and they go this guy's having trouble breathing as is well i sat beside a real big one and it was a pain in the ass and we were looking up the average weight this weekend of girls a fucking buck 80 buck 80 in america dude that's so crazy that the average weight i mean when you factor in that the average height is five six or whatever it's not 185 six which is crazy because you're like can you you, I guess the fucking, these people are just off the market or something. Because you go, if that's average, which means most people, like just imagine being on a dating app or whatever. A girl's like, I'm 5'5", buck 80. You're like, that's a hell no.

Yeah. So that's, so you go, so what? But the average for guys is fucking 5'9", 200 or something. 200 is a lot too. For a 5'9 person. No, I feel like that's not as bad though well like i feel like the girl one's more nuts a buck eighty fucky dude if you're a fucking girl get ryan it's mostly water weight okay i'm a buck eighty i'm six three yeah i don't know as i'm getting fucking up there, I guess that's it. I mean, probably when you rent scooters

just because you don't like walking, that kind of is a symptom. That'll happen, right? That'll happen. But this also is like... So their whole thing is that she goes, Adele's been skinny for a while, but first in an Instagram post

and then while hosting Saturday Night Live. And this week, we got a skinny Adele in a music video and then while hosting saturday live and this week we got a skinny adele and a music video ahead of the release of her album 30 and this like really put her in a tailspin really caused some binge eating she was she goes she's like another one bites the dust is the kind of thing you know she goes i guess fat people are just chopped liver then yeah here's we're just out here and we're nothing to you, right? Yeah. But this sort of is, with guys, it only works with girls where they get fat and everyone applauds.

Remember, think about Axl Rose. Was there one article being like, he actually looks just as good? Yeah, yeah. They go, God damn, Axl. It's also a tale as old as time where celebrities get popular, especially in comedy, looking a certain way and then have to grapple with the fucking what to do.

Because how many comedians, you know, develop a whole act about being a fat guy? Absolutely. It's fucking... You know, they're opening up, hide your buffet. They're literally comedians. You're like, man, you should lose some weight. And you're like, I can't.

I can't do comedy anymore. I can't do comedy anymore. I can't do comedy anymore. What am I going to do? Well, even Kevin James, to be honest, I might have found his falling over a little funny if he had the heft on him. I mean, I think Farley even said that where he goes like he was. Farley, if he was skinny, you go, I'm not watching a skinny guy fall around. Yeah, we don't need two spades.

If you're skinny, it's not funny watching you like do pratfalls. No, hell no. Right? No. Demi Lovato's also looking fucking big we're just a gossip podcast now demi lovato's put on a couple pounds and she said that uh referring to extraterrestrials as aliens because remember i did the thing last week where i was i was like you know what that's a good job for demi lovato to be hunting around for aliens like get her out of the political

discourse and then she said that that calling extraterrestrials aliens is derogatory. And you're just like, you know what? You standing up for the rights of aliens, I don't know if I was right or wrong, or you're just like, yeah, this is a good thing for Demi Lovato to be doing. Paying attention to aliens and being like,

aliens need more rights for when we finally, they come to Earth. And you go, keep doing that. Yeah, you get after it, Demi. fucking tom delong can go on you and tommy d can get after that right she says many media outlets and random internet commentators have celebrated adele for becoming skinny this has been met with a very specific form of backlash which goes something like adele is a mega talent whose music is worth blasting on repeat, no matter the singer's size. So please stop treating this as an accomplishment.

And this backlash is correct. So basically they're saying they, the, when she loses weight, people praise that, which is bad. But what the people are never, they always fail to realize is the reason like a lot of it

started with them praising how big it's gotten like these people who have made they're going why are you making a weight a big issue and it's like and your bio says like fat activists absolutely so you go you're the one making it like a huge deal also it's like and and i guess tabloids for the beginning of time, so yeah. Yeah, fat cells, I guess. Especially someone like... I forget who it is.

One of the chicks from Baywatch and they just snapped a photo of her and she was like, you know, super smoking hot on Baywatch and then she's like all fat now and people are like, God damn, what happened? But it was kind of mean.

You're just like... It does feel mean. Well, she hasn't been an actress for 20 years. Yeah, but when they're old, especially. It's the Betty White thing. Monty's joke where they go, Betty White hasn't aged well actress for 20 years. Yeah, but when they're old, especially. It's the Betty White thing. Monty's joke where they go,

Betty White hasn't aged well and she's 80. At some point, you got to give her a break. This goes back to the people tying their identity to this one thing about them, though, too, like sexuality or whatever. People used to be like, some of that would happen with Adele and they'd be inspired.

They'd be like, oh, you know what? Adele can do it. I can do it, too. I like Adele. And then now they be like, you know, some of that would happen with Adele and they'd be like inspired. They'd be like, oh, you know what? Adele can do it. I can do it too. I like Adele. And then now they're like, because they've just made their identity being fat, even though you're like, you have nothing else about you other than that, that they just straight up, they're like, they're being kind of like challenged now. It's kind of like when Jose Canseco went white and they're like, this is a hit to the black

community. No, Sammy Sosa. Sammy Sosa. That's who it was. Sammy Sosa. Sammy Sosa. He was a bad lookinglooking white, too. He went pink.

He went really, like... It's just so weird living this life where you go, if someone loses 100 pounds, and this is what our friend was kind of arguing about, it's like, oh, you lose 100 pounds, and then it's like, oh, that shouldn't be good or bad. And it's like, it's so fucking... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's not neutral. It's definitely not neutral. But how do you not neutral it's definitely not neutral but how do you how do you not think that something that makes you die less is positive probably all these chicks too now are like they're all listening to adele and they're crying and you're like yeah i get really emotional listening she's all the breakups you go breakups no she's skinny now just a weird thing like living in all these lies where you live in a lie where you go being 800 pounds and being you know 100 pounds or whatever amount of the right amount of yeah is equal equally is like good and healthy yeah they're both good they're both good and it was

just like okay what do they even say to stats where you go okay but they died 20 years earlier and they're like well that's because of the fat folk also during covid i guess also during covid where it's like that's been magnified even further where you're like all the obese people were like they're really dropping i remember i told you remember that yeah 60 minutes did that expose like maybe i don't know six months ago and they're like here's all the people who died of covid and they were like it was 20 people in a row and they would like they wouldn't tell you because they would be interviewing their like partners or whatever and they wouldn't tell you until like the end and it was always someone who's like 400 pounds and you go i'm starting to see a trend here yeah it also intersects with the the girl guy thing too where it's like you know i

get why you don't really want to like comment on a random girl's weight, but with a guy, it's like funny. Like in my group of friends, when someone puts on weight, that's the topic of the night. Yeah. Like when we show up and like Paul or Walter or something, or like put on a fucking 30, 40 pounds,

you go, that's all we're talking about. Like, you know, he walks in, we go fee, five, four,

five, like all that sort of shit. You know what I mean? You can't, it's like, dude, I put on, when I was doing

uh when i was editing ryan long's challenge the only time i got real fucking up there i was just editing at my computer eating fucking pizza pizza every day just get you know yeah just getting turned into a tub of lard and i put on probably 30 and i would get murdered yeah you know i would show up and everyone was like you know we need to widen the doors whatever it is right but to be honest for me i was I was just like, okay, next time. I can't. This has to end. Yeah, yeah.

But with girls, I get it. You think there's like a lot of like fat ladies who are Adele fans who have like their little Adele like voodoo dolls and they're just like feeding cake to it, just pushing cake in the mouth, hoping that'll do something? Arnold Schwarzenegger used to say that he goes, when he was weight training, that's how he used to get in people's heads like the other so he was doing these big competitions and he would go to uh let's say they were hanging out in the lobby or whatever

yeah for like mr olympia he had all these crazy things he used to do uh so he he was i guess bodybuilding is a mental game i don't know bodybuilding enough to get it. You're in your head so you flex worse. I don't really see it. I guess it's like all... It's like a confidence. If you don't have confidence, it shows on your face. Yeah, something like that. But he used to say that he used to go up to the guys

and he'd grab their fat and be looking a little chubby. Yeah, he was like, what, have you been eating chocolate bars? Getting their head. And he had all these other things too. He used to go tell them to do a shot with him the night before and he'd be like oh what you afraid to do a shot blah blah blah and then he would take a fake shot he had these like crazy techniques to beat people up oh he takes bodybuilding very very seriously right he's the goat he goes we're taking the teeth out of the word fat and this is what she's

talking about that other part where it's like she uses the word fat i mean if she took her teeth out she'd fucking figure but her thing she goes display displaying fat is just normal or even in a beautiful way exists to be important and so we're taking back the word basically i was thinking about this basically taking back the word worked for the n word and the other groups have been chasing that buzz ever since it's never worked again it's not working for anybody else really though has it has any has any group here maybe it doesn't work though yeah but you know what put it this way no one's a good one because then we still get to say queer and then you're like you're not getting in trouble all it does is that yeah you go queer is that not what you're supposed to be

yeah yeah I thought that's what we were supposed to say and they go so whenever my my whenever the bad body thoughts started rolling

I used to shout to myself nope Adele is another very talented person who's also big so she would see that she's beautiful and fat or it used to be

yeah which was so was it the healthiest thing in the world to pin my self-esteem to the shape of another person's kind of acknowledging what you said clearly not because people change this is the entire issue with external validation it cannot be counted on so it's sort of you know what it really is it's kind of like you know when uh when a people group of people are kind of like alcoholics and drug addicts, they never like it when the one gets clean.

There's a lot of pushback. We do that in the Lazy People video where it's like, I'm going for a run. It's like, what, you're better than us? That's just a known thing. It's like if you're trying to be not a drug addict, you're like, you can't surround yourselves with drug addicts. There's always pushback to any self-improvement too.

Even, you know, how many people I've met, this seems like almost more of an american thing where they like left home to go to like a city to try to make a career for themselves and their parents are kind of like oh you think you're some big city slicker that's better than us like that kind of thing yeah you know i mean no one likes anyone doing self and like getting anything that makes themselves better you know what i mean it's a weird way you're crossing the picket lines of this the Yeah, it's weird when it's the parents versus like a jealous person.

Well, the parents don't put it that way. They kind of put it in a way that they think like, no, you need to stay here. Like family's important. You know what I mean? They don't say that, but it's the pushback is always there to any self-improvement.

No one's going to say outright, I don't like that you're going to go do better. Yes. The same way you're like in a relationship. It's like, you know, they want to watch TV and you're working on something. Like no one likes it. They'll say you're not spending time with me. No one's going to say, I don't like that you're doing good.

Sure. But it kind of, it is all that. Right. But they're trying to say that, you know, that other people crossing the picket lines to get healthy. They're just like, yeah, I thought we, I thought we were a fucking, we had a deal Adele. to get healthy they're just like yeah i thought we i thought we were fucking how we had a deal adele i thought we were uh a fucking uh tight like a what do you call it and if i thought we were a fucking offensive line defensive line maybe i thought that we were a defensive line

and now i find out oh you don't want to be a polar anymore a polar bear anymore is it too cold for you but the problem but here is the problem most people who have excelled in the entertainment You don't want to be a polar anymore? A polar bear anymore? Is it too cold for you? But here is the problem. Most people who have excelled in the entertainment business are not fat and tend to be very skinny. So there are... What? You ever heard of fucking Roseanne? Well, that's comedy.

It's only comedy. Fat bastard. But that is... Comedy is the only place where really people excel. chick on this is us i know she's the first but she's like 550 well now they're getting them in there yeah but the truth is like uh and i don't you think she counts as like in hollywood's mind that chick on this is us whose giant counts as more than one they go that's five that's don't give us fucking guff for this shit that's like molly molly uh no but the chick on this is us who's not a comedian i don't know

watch that show oh okay anyways she looks crappy it i don't watch it either i just know that it has the whole thing is that it has this chick who's 500 pounds and she's like and they don't really address it she's just in the yeah she's addressing like she i think she's eating in every scene it's like i can't remember because it's like real she's eating no it's supposed to be real like you know a real person so it's like she's a real person She's eating it. No, it's supposed to be real, like, you know, a real person. So it's like, she's a real person. She's 500 pounds and she fucking like, it's constantly just like, you know, I don't know. I've never watched a show.

They must have to replace the props. I just know this is us. We're going to need another chip bag. Paul Thompson. Oh, you're actually eating those? You're supposed to be fake eating those. Paul Thompson, our buddy for a while, when he would host shows.

He likes This Is Us. He'd bring people up as being like, this guy just guest starred on This Is Us this week. Yeah, he loved doing that. And people would be like, what? Holy shit. He loves doing the fake intros. The fake intros, yeah.

But there is something to be said about most people. I mean, it's one of those things where they do studies on CEOs and stuff like that. Most people that are very successful are also pretty in shape. Yeah. And that's one of those things where you go, that's just reality of the situation but you can also say why you know there is this other part where it's like well why is that momentum's a huge thing right like when you have momentum uh for example like if you're doing well

you're making money you do want to keep doing well whereas if you're in some dead-end job and it's crappy i get the idea you have some wife that's whatever you're like not you know not how you i get being like yeah well what am i getting skinny for yeah okay you leave a little a little longer you feel a bit better i don't know i like eating fucking pie i hate my life sucks yeah i hate my life it's like why do i want to make this longer so it's hard to get that original momentum started but when someone does get the momentum started and lose 100 pounds, like fucking Dan, and the person's like, actually, you should be fucking ashamed of yourself for betraying. Betraying us.

Well, again, it's like the tribalism where they're like, that's your identity as a fat. Like her identity as a fat person, whereas he was just like, yeah, I'm a comedian. Maybe. I don't know. He's like, I just happen to be fat. Which it actually is harder for. If you're a normal person, whereas he was just like, yeah, I'm a comedian. Maybe. I don't know. He's like, I just happen to be fat. Which it actually is harder for. If you're a normal person, there's only benefits. Comedian's one of the main jobs.

Or if you're, let's say a fucking, let's say you're not specifically that hot, but you're like, you're making a career as a super fat model, like the ones that are on like the joke Christmas cards. Oh, yeah. Yeah. the ones that are on like the joke Christmas cards the thing is the girls who used to be on the joke Christmas cards as

models are now real models like imagine you're like forever you were a joke Christmas card model and now you're like yeah I'm actually like a supermodel yeah you're on Vogue now like you're in Vogue and you're like what was your experience before on the cover of Vogue I was on Spencer's

I was on Spencer's on the fucking the joke calendar it's insane that that's actually the case anyways this girl's having a hard day yeah you were like fucking like on a ride in a hog fucking car and were you pretending to be a motorcycle

but you're just a regular guy on top of you now you're on the cover of Vogue that is so yeah moral of the story i always i agree why it is different from girls where you're just like yeah if a girl's fat like it sucks and you don't want to fucking you know yeah for sure an asshole anyway but no the idea that it's not worse there's definitely like improv troops where there's like the fat guy you need a fat guy yeah and then if he goes skinny all of a sudden,

then we're like, so what is this? What are you doing? You're the fat guy. Yeah, you're the fat guy now. I guess one of us is going to have to start eating. Thanks. Or we get another fat guy and you're done. Yeah, you get replaced.

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So this is the kind of stuff that's going on in Australia. It's basically like the kind of the Gillette thing where basically a guy, he's hanging out at a party and a guy comes up to him and he goes, look at these titties, right? Yeah. But the funny thing is these like, these started straight up, like these commercials. The first ones were, like, a guy was, like, drugging and raping a woman.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, they started, and people were like, yeah, I'm going to drug and rape this woman. They were. They were putting the pills in the drinks. Pills and pills in the drinks. And say something. And you're like, yeah, you should.

And they'd be like, you didn't see anything or whatever. And then the guy's like, yeah, I didn't see anything. And you're like, that's not OK. High fives. Yeah, high fives. They're going, yeah, fuck, I didn't see shit, dude. Go after it's not okay. High fives. Yeah, high fives. Yeah, fuck it. I didn't see shit, dude. Go after it. And then now it's like,

don't make fun of women for being worse at sports. That's not nice. Yeah, yeah, okay. So I'm playing now. Have a look at this. See? They're nowhere near the same standard as the men. Showing women's sports.

I could watch them bounce around like that all day, though. I could watch them bounce around like that all day, though. And then it says, next time, do something. Okay, first off, imagine, okay, like two scenarios. One scenario, because it's like at a party, right? So it's like, imagine you're at a party, a guy you don't know, okay? A guy you don't know, you show him, you go, check it out, and he goes, dude, that's not okay. And you go, okay.

Never talk to this person ever again. Okay. You're like, all right, fuck you, man. I don't know. Like, okay, I guess we haven't, we can't talk. This is our relationship is over before it started. Right. Like you're never gonna be friends with that guy.

You're never gonna be like, dude, you know what? You really showed me the light or it's your friend. And you're like, what are you talking about? Like your friend goes, dude, Or I'll even give them, and this is the thing that these fucking ads refuse to ever understand is like context. I will give you, if I show up to a party and I'm like with my chick and then like some guy you don't know comes over and he's like, dude, look at these fucking stupid bitches. Yeah, totally. I don't know you well enough. I've said that in the joke. The guy comes up. It's like, yeah, look at these fucking stupid bitches. Yeah, totally. You would be like, dude, I don't know you. I don't know you well enough. I've said that in the joke. The guy comes up.

It's like, yeah, I'm cheating on my wife. And I was like, dude, I don't think you should be confiding in me. Yeah, you're like at a party. A guy pulls out his phone. He's just hardcore porn. He goes, pretty hot, huh? You go, what? Well, yeah, so a stranger confiding in you in anything is a little.

You're just like, we don't. But if the drinks start flowing and you go you can't make fun of women's sports first off the first line what does he say not as good as the men yeah yeah that's objectively true i don't even like like you're like okay yes it's like if you want to point it out to be like but that is objectively true yes like i i get that maybe you're not supposed to point it out it's mean because we're supposed to treat them like they're special olympians you should do the opposite you show them the thing and you go pretty equal to men yeah that's you go this is equal right you go i will you go no these are equal and you go um

these ladies are killing it huh yeah and then the guy's like that one's pretty hot you go i don't look at women like that yeah like it'd be one thing Like If that was The guy who's watching Special Olympics There you go Not as good as the men And you don't know him And you don't know him

You're like dude That's fucked up But if it's your buddy You're kind of like Okay you're being a fucking dick Like whatever Edgelord But like

But if it's a special Olympian You'd be like Okay that's fucked up Like these are like You know People who are like disabled These are my brothers Danny would say

Whatever But they're like disabled people. I lost my finals to that guy. But in this scenario, it's just professional athletes who are women. Like they're professional athletes. Yeah. Like you're watching them on TV. It's not like you're like, you didn't go to the fucking park and record them.

And you're like, these chicks suck, huh? You're like, they're getting paid money to do this. Well, but even if you go one step further where now we're debating where you go okay this is the logistics of you're explaining like how to socialize works with these people and what you know what uh it all assumes that you're so stupid you need someone to tell you to understand how to like live by your own boundaries if okay now this is the most crazy part about these people now switch it around where you go hey it's at a party and the girls are looking at like firefighters and the ones like oh that those guys are pretty hot hey and then should the other girl in that case being like not fucking

cool dude they're trying to save the world right now they're out there doing our job they do not need to be ogled by you no we're the fat ones where's like the fat old guy who's been at the firehouse for 40 years where's he in your fucking little thing that would be the same commercial would be like how empowered women are sure like but again one of them is like your scenario you're talking about objectifying people's bodies this is straight up you're like they're not as good as the men you're like yeah no but the second part where he goes i can look at those bounce around imagine he goes he goes what and then it's just the balls there's balls bouncing but he goes you go i gotta look at those bounce right yeah yeah yeah yeah woman no the soccer ball you fucking asshole i could look at

the bounce the basketballs bounce around mesmerizing yeah just how good they're bouncing them around. And then you cut out and you pan out and it's like, he's actually talking to a dog. And he goes, look at those bouncing around. But this, like even in Juno, that was a whole scene where the girl was looking at the guy's dicks when they were on the track.

And then it was like, this was a fucking feminist hit. You know? Yep. With, what's, I guess guess his face ellie page yeah yeah yeah i actually went to the fucking world premiere of that movie there you go world premiere but yeah and in any scenario that you can't you go they uh they can't decide whether men should stop doing it or women should do more of it. That's what all their things are.

So are you saying that just men should stop doing it and women should? Because the same publications are often being like, yeah, women can be fucking gross pigs as well. Also, you could have framed this so much better. Be like, don't sexually objectify women who are competing in sports, I guess.

In front of a stranger. But don't lead with they're not as good as the men, huh? And then you're like, I mean, yeah, they're not. Commercial's so funny. It's kind of one of those things where when people are arguing- They're great athletes.

Don't want to take that away. They're fantastic athletes. Yeah, and some talent, right, you might say. Talented athletes. On the volleyball team. But if you're saying that kind of like when people are arguing uh about taxes and this and that this is such the good argument for no these people

shouldn't have more of your money yeah no these organizations should be shut down and you know the actors on that thing too they're like the guys who are the actors are fucking rolling their eyes being like oh my god can you believe we're getting paid like we know so many actors they're like can you fucking believe they're paying us for this dumb shit i hope i don't know if any of our bodies have been involved with one of those we don't i don't see them in canada australia is really like way ahead of canada and that's not cool saying that girl's hot and women's sports are actually better than men if you actually like but you're like you're not doing anybody favors because it goes back to the whole like i think we were talking about this maybe not on the podcast but like with the whole like i mean

we were on the podcast but like you know the trans women and then people were like you know trans women are trans women and then they're like no trans women are real women like biological women yeah like well that i don't believe and then they're forcing you to believe a thing that you know to be untrue and that's where you start being like wait what's going on here no with that women you're they're forcing you to believe that it's not fun to watch them bounce around all day i objectively enjoy watching these bounce around all day biologically i've watched a lot of women's sports i have never why i don't know like i mean i don't know i've been to the fucking u.s open for oh yeah

tennis for women it's like you're never like oh man this is like you gotta be a like a grade a per to be like going to sports and to like ogling like nah volleyball volleyball is the only one around in bikinis beach you're saying you're better volleyball is the only one yeah but again you're like just you're at the beach already just bill o'reilly over here i'm just being like no i'm not i'm not saying i'm above being a perv i'm just like be a perv at the beach right like everybody else you're saying throw on your glasses i get it at basketball and probably out your camera and just fucking be a perv at the beach volleyball thateyball, that's half the thing. It's like, you know, it's a bunch of hot people, period. You know what I'm saying?

Vice versa. I know. I get it. But I'm like, I'm sure that's an element where they're like helping to sell their thing. But like, I don't know. It's like, if you're going to be a perv, just be a perv. Why do you have to bring sports into it? Because you're watching it.

But you're right. Why are you watching it then? Why? Why on earth is this guy having... Why are you watching? Why does this guy Why on earth is this guy having- Why are you watching? Why does this guy have his phone out looking at women's sports? Like, what is he gambling? He just Googled it just to show you.

Yeah, like, what is he gambling on or something? Like, why are you watching it? I will say, you probably showed me a clip where you go, like, the type of the girl couldn't, like, tried to go up and dunk and couldn't or something like that. Like a girl's bloopers. You've never had fun looking at those? Yeah, my favorite bloopers clip is by far when they score on the wrong net 2015 or something uh wnba all-star game it's the all-stars the best of the best they do the tip-off then they it's like fucking benny hill they grab the ball and then they go

on the wrong basket and they're like and then everybody's like they're nobody's sure which basket to be going on it's the tip-off like and they don't know and then they go to and someone like blocks their own player and they're like to not have them score on their own net and you go that's funny if that happened in the nba that would be funny but if that happened in the nba that would be funny that just doesn't yeah but it's like when it happens in the wnba it's worse because everybody's already shitting on them and then they're like not helping it's something you'd expect but the WNBA, it's worse because everybody's already shitting on them and then they're like not helping. It's something you'd expect. But you're like, if you're into women's sports, you're like, like nobody's into women's sports for the fucking, I mean, maybe some people are.

But like, again, like basketball, they're not hot. No. Like I'm trying to think what sports women are hot at other than volleyball. Where you go, they're all hot. No, I'd say some tennis was always had like a little bit of flair in it but like not really track maybe a little tennis had like anna kornikova they had fucking genie bouchard tennis doesn't have a lot of ones where they're like oh that's like a model kind of playing sports hockey they're covered in equipment i guess lingerie football

that was the one that was the big one remember the lingerie football league well that's sort of imagine when they're watching lingerie and you go i'd like to watch them bounce around you know excuse me dude fucking read the room this guy you do need to read the room of of who you talk to nowadays it's you got to be careful with everyone which is sort of the same the next thing i want to talk about because you probably know more about this than other people but not other people but i know that you were paying a lot of attention this story but yeah the ufc today um the raiders coach right yeah what did you say ufc or so no nfl usa today oh you have the article yeah yeah about raiders coach resigning for homophobic, misogynist, racist emails. Yes. And so if anyone, you explain kind of if anyone didn't.

Okay, so basically the NFL, because they're like, you know, trying to redo their image, starting with the whole concussion thing and how they're hiding that people were getting like CTE and literally like players were killing themselves. Like Junior Seau like shot. They forever lied. But they found something worse. They found something way worse. Way worse.

But they're trying to redo their image or whatever because they were the league where like Ray Rice punches his girlfriend in the face. And like they suspend him for like a game. You know, like they were that league. And then anyway, so they were like, we're going gonna do a 10 year or i think it was 20 years every email that's been ever sent from an at nfl anybody who's in the nfl they're we're gonna go through that's fucking some scary shit they're like we're going through every email that's sent from again sent from a work address i know like there is a boomer component too where it's like a lot of these people weren't email guys and then you know

10 years ago i mean think about how long ago that is but some of like again these emails were from when it was still okay for a player to punch his wife in the face yeah and not get kicked out of the league no but also i think so you're like that should be some context where you go yeah he said this when you could punch your wife in the face like and like that was a one game suspension yeah and gay marriage was illegal yeah gay marriage was illegal like the gay marriage thing they're like yeah it was illegal at the time yeah like obama and hillary clinton were against gay marriage you could punch your wife in the face in the nfl like all this stuff was fine they they didn't acknowledge that there was a concussion cte problem that was from when these emails were sent so

anyways they're like we know we going to go through all this. You got to be real careful with those corporate emails, man. But there was no thought of being corporate. No, but I think. Now, for sure. I think most people now know that you know that someone could eventually look through these emails. Like most jobs, you kind of know you got to keep that email.

But I think especially at the beginning, there wasn't, it was a little more like. There is a saying. Oh, we're just chatting. Where they say, never say anything in an email you wouldn't want in the new york times and now it's like actually real life where you go yeah your emails are now getting in the new york times it is real life and i've seen a lot of people because you never want it it's hard to let's just pray our fucking group chats never get out imagine like that's the next iteration of this is just personal group chat hey we're just gonna do a bit of an audit on every comedian's group chat yeah i would just kill myself he'd be like a child porn guy finding

out that they're doing their come he'd be like a child porn guy when they find out that they're going to his house and going through his hard drives he just kills himself he goes all right that's that's it they go we're gonna go through every last group chat you ever had just a small formality for this job that you just took we and you go actually you don't want the job we've already started you go oh okay yeah where's the nearest bridge we're gonna be putting this public too so hopefully it's nothing too bad just a small formality if you're one of this that's such a funny thing to say to someone when you don't want them to have the job like you go your company has to hire someone but you really don't want to hire them you go yeah just

a small formality if we need to starting now if you want to hand me your phone we're going to go through every group chat you've ever taken just a tiny formality we're just doing a bit of due diligence you know just do it i mean you have nothing to hide i'm sure what's the issue unless you've said something racist on your phone but it really is that where you know a lot of people you end up debating what the original points people are all well maybe you shouldn't have said this i think you should and you go what percentage honestly of real world people do you think have something that they've said in like uh email text or anything like that where you go i would feel uh if this went out i'd be fired uh 40 probably 60 like that i'm honestly trying to think i don't really get aggressive in email i don't think i have anything like if you went through my gmail right now i don't think there'd be anything that i would

be like nothing where you go oh that guy's a fucking loser like maybe someone did something and you go that guy's maybe maybe like something personal but nothing like where i'm i don't think i've ever done i think i don't think i've ever done a racism emails with us maybe i think if you go back 10 years i think you'd be surprised yeah maybe not a racism thing but well the things they said well there's the things in the messages between two men, Gruden refers to Goodell as a clueless anti-football pussy. Yeah. You never said anything like that?

That's so in passing. The funniest thing, too, is, again, you go, they go, he's misogynist. This was, like, again, lower on the list of bad things he did, apparently or whatever, or not apparently, but, like, but for me, like, oh, this longtime football guy, the most macho sport on earth, is a misogynist because he called Roger Goodell a pussy, right? And you're like, again, he called him a pussy

when you could punch your wife in the face. Right. And he goes, oh, it's like Ray Rice punched his wife in the face unconscious and he goes it's roger goodell guy he's a bit of a pussy huh how how many how did more people not get taken down in this well so here's here's what i so basically what happened is the um so he was talking shit about roger goodell who is the fucking yeah yeah everyone hates good uh he's the, commissioner of the NFL. A lot of people hate him. And then a lot of people are saying

Goodell was the one who leaked, because these things leak, right? It was an internal thing. That's, I forgot. So they didn't leak anyone else. Goodell fucking knew what he was doing. Goodell, you talk shit about the fucking king. He leaks this stuff.

And then he leaked the racist thing where he said something about the guy's got huge lips or whatever. This guy who's like a part of the fucking NFLfl something or other he goes he's got huge this guy's got the biggest lips or something whatever and then and then they were like he said look i'm not racist and uh i apologize i'm you know anybody who knows me knows i'm not racist and it was fine they go okay he apologized it was one thing and then all and then again talking all this shit about goodell so then he releases more stuff

a week later being like because i guess maybe he thought the racism thing would get him kicked out of the nfl he thought that was gonna be enough so you're you're on the on the tip that this is a conspiracy for sure i it sounds like it i haven't done it but it just logically goodell seems like such a dweeb oh he's total dweeb dweeb. But again, I don't know... This can't be the only thing for anybody that came out. Right. Everyone has something. 650,000 emails and you're like...

And tons of employees. The only thing that came up was just John Gruden one time. Called someone a pussy was on the top of the list of things that came out. Everyone else must be fucking... A queer or whatever. It's sort of a put people in their place where it's put people back in line a little bit where everyone in the nfl is like it's almost um more about corruption than it is about you know any of this shit where it's kind of like hey just so you know you know

this is what the people do when they get the sex tapes or whatever right well it's like just so you know you do anything we have fucking 600 fucking compromise it's the fucking yeah yeah they got the stuff they got they got some shit on you To end you But anyways I mean again It's hard to feel super bad for him He has a hundred million dollar contract Which is still gonna be on him

I don't feel super bad for him As much as Well I mean it sucks But it's just My takeaway is not so much About this guy Cause it's like Such a

This has happened so many times In the last little while It's like people get fired Right and left It's more about just how Fucking scary shit is It is But also Here's the thing These emails were sent He wasn't even part of This guy's on the blacklist now in the last little while. It's like people get fired right and left. It's more about just how fucking scary shit is. It is.

But also, here's the thing. These emails were sent. He wasn't even part of the NFL. This guy's on the blacklist now. But he wasn't part of the NFL. He had been retired from the, or not retired, he had been a coach of the NFL. He won a Super Bowl in 2002.

He wasn't in the NFL. He was like a, you know, a report, not a reporter. Like he was like a personality. He would go on shows or whatever. So he was talking shit about the commissioner when he was not an employee of the commissioner then he became an employee of the commissioner after the fact they did this thing and then you're like the commissioner's like yeah you talk shit about me you're out like so it's like it's what didn't work for you at the

time and it worked for you at the time and again with the whole like ray rice thing but that's what i think is goodell's just like you know what you're talking shit about me I'll show you what power is I saw I watched this soccer documentary about it it was like the Italian soccer league scandal Juventus one right? yeah yeah

so basically I want to watch that even the because they show two sides of the thing where the one side is like you know this is ultimate corruption and the other guy is kind of like no this is what people did

you fucking that's part of the game you call the fucking ref commissioner and you force him to give you the refs you want this is part of this fucking system but it really was they the refs would do the wrong thing and they would be kind of like you're fired and they would set the examples and the refs knew how they had to call it the people would have uh they would give people yellow cards uh they were playing the fucking geventis the next day and they would give the star players cards to kick them out for the next game

it was like totally corruption but then it kind of flutters down to the social justice level where everyone gets to, they get to get outraged now but really this is more of a corruption situation, they just know that the thing that people care about to fucking get people fired, the same reason

why Epstein gets people to fuck kids because he knows that fucking kids or racism is the only thing that can make you lose your job. So they just know that now they have another, that's their main tool. The only thing I'll say with Gruden is I don't think, I don't know the internal stuff, but like, it doesn't

sound like Goodell was looking for a reason to fire him. He just saw these emails and he's like, this guy's talking shit about me. And he's like, well, I'll show him. But him but like you know the nba remember the guy who who fucking got arrested for and went to jail in the nba ref donahue for he was uh like basically fixing games in the nba he was a ref and he was like owed all this money to the mob and he was he was fixing games for the mob in the nba he did this podcast recently the series and he talks about how like you know the NBA would straight up be like you know you like the NBA all sports leagues like they're just

entertainment they're a business like as much as you think they're these like sacred things they're straight up just like businesses that commissioner is the you know the head of this business and they would straight up be like you know when Michael Jordan plays these stars you like you you the refs are meant to like give these guys treatment because you're like you don't do better for the league by having these guys sitting on the bench yeah right like you don't have as many highlights like the game everybody benefits when michael jordan is on the court fucking winning championships like that's good for everybody so and they you know they would make that known be like you know you don't like if a player is known to a star player is known to like you know have some sort of trick and then they start calling him on that

as like uh you know foul or whatever they'll be like okay we're not going to call this foul this year like they do that every year they go we're not calling this as much we're going to call this more because it's still like at the end of the day just like it's a ratings thing yeah it is very corrupt all of them but yeah the gruden the gruden thing is weird there's got to be a lot of people who are sweating though if that's that's what i'm saying there must be you really if you're starting now again i i don't i you can't even really go delete them because they're in everyone else's inbox yeah that's the thing he couldn't you cannot you got any work email correspondence i really do think you have to live by that though and you wouldn't want it in the new york times because

it will be yeah agreed and but it's probably too late for everyone mostly it is because nobody thought that dude you know how many people i mean i'll even get from family members where they sent me like some funny thing making fun of something you know what i mean from the work email where you go that that's enough right there yeah like whatever right yeah the equivalent of that someone sent you from their work email a meme of uh girls puppies bouncing yeah like a gif or whatever just puppies bouncing you go any internal audit yeah yeah shit but again i don't know yeah i don't know that's it sucks for fucking him but take a second here to talk about our sponsor keeps and we got some friends who've been taking it

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And, you know, half the country's like, no, this stuff's good. And half the country is this is bad. I just thought we have a good article. And some people have been posting this. But this is where it leads to. Male workers allowed in Baldwin unsettling residents. So this is basically a college. And they have only girls and trans people are allowed in

right yeah and the residents or whatever and then a male worker had to be in there and then it's you know a term well it's because he was a cis male worker cis male worker it's absolutely bad and the thing too is like they're like yeah it's getting cold we need to put radiators in so it's like it's not like they're just like hey we're dicking around they're like look you're gonna freeze so we need to put radiators in so when you see people say that you know people in college are too soft or whatever and there's like there's a legitimate breakdown and people are writing articles right and left because a guy had to be in the building because a maintenance man had to come in to maintain the building and this person wrote a fucking article and they're literally like why is it a man and this is in the paper

the school paper baldwin they go residents of baldwin college received an email from josh matos the area coordinator for multicultural and identity-based communities sounds like a fucking fun it sounds like it's just identity-based too i don't know why it's multicultural because you just have to be a girl but they're just like but also we're like it's good to be i don't like yeah what's the best what does it have to do with race they don't want it to be all white people right but well i guess yeah so you're allowed to not be white that's what makes it multicultural pats on the back yeah and so there is also uh this is when they added the more things did you hear what happened with the boston pride parade no so this happened in toronto as well but the pride parade yeah so that was a big component of it but it's just kind of like how all these intersectional

uh frameworks always have to break down but basically in toronto they were sort of saying that they shouldn't be they they were sort of saying that they shouldn't be they should be giving the money that they raise to different charities and they can't have cops there and just all sorts of different demands right then they were like there's too many white gays on the board we need like uh you know multicultural gays yeah multicultural too many white queers they said yeah so eventually this went on it's going on in every parade right and this is basically it's chapelle's special versus the bloggers happening in real life right and the spoiler alert the the race is winning over gays yeah so basically uh the boston pride parade

just decided the best thing to do because they're like our institution is riddleddled with white supremacy from too many of the white gays that are in charge. So they just shut the parade down. They go, no more parade. No more parade ever? It's a win for the gays. Yeah, win for intersectionality. Well, I went through a bunch of different things and they made so many people step down. And they're going to start a new parade.

Well, basically, the Gay Pride Par parade is just going to be like a Black Lives Matter march that's good yeah it's pretty funny so this is kind of what's I guess the kind of stuff that's happening at this place right it started out as like this is a girls only thing and then now they're like well

shouldn't it just be like a how does that help our part the other parts of the intersection it's basically yeah their their whole like res residence thing is all like these they have certain floors where they're like no cis men allowed like that's the thing it's just like everything but cis men i'm sure that fucking some of those ladies be sneaking dudes in though they'd be sneaking dude when i was kicked out of residence, which at a university, I got kicked out pretty quickly. And you live in your car.

I lived in my car for a while. So I snuck back into the residence and I was at some chick's house or her room or whatever. And then a beat got around that someone, one of the front desk saw me because I was fairly notorious. Or they heard you

because you were the fucking loudest motherfucker on earth. Yeah, but how would they know who I was? Like, you know what I mean? You'd have to be in the know that this guy is a no- loudest motherfucker on earth. Yeah, but how would they know who I was? You know what I mean? You'd have to be in the know that this guy is a no-allow-in, right? Yeah, yeah. So anyways, I was in this girl's apartment or her res room, and then the police knocked at the door, and I hid in the closet. And then they go to the door there and go,

hey, we have word that you have Ryan Long in the building. There's fucking police there. So basically they go. And then she goes, no, I haven't seen him. And then the police go, we know that he's in here and we're going to search around. So if you don't tell us right now, blah, blah. And then she looked over to where I was standing in the closet and she was like, I don't know what to do. So I just came out.

I go, all right, let's go. And then they fucking, they bring me in the cop car. What took you so long, boys? It really was that yeah and they bring me down to the station and they fucking did that whatever they do they bring you they give me they give me a trespassing ticket for 160 and they're like all right well you're even more banned not only you're banned you're more banned yeah i don't know what they can really do they just kept giving me trespassing tickets kind of and you're like what happens if i don't pay this and you're like well you don't won't give your diploma and you're going yeah it's funny yeah i'm here for fucking i'm here to crush this dude i do not give a shit about this diploma

anyway they're fucking that that kind of stuff kept happening to me. They would always just bring me down to the station and give me a trespassing ticket from the residence. Yeah, you get in there. Hey, Ryan. Hey, Ryan. Hey, boys. Hey, boys.

Hey, go, what was her name this time? Hey, Ryan, let me smell your fingers. You know it. This is a real boy squad. We're just doing our job you're doing your job yeah it was getting to the point where it was a whole thing that i had to explain to girls like he just made a check and it would be like oh we'll go back to your place now i'm living in my car but we may go back to your place she goes okay we go back to my place okay so i one thing is that it's like basically you're harboring a fugitive yeah i gotta come we have to we have to go through a different door and also

if you get caught you're gonna be in trouble this is high risk about it's not it was this harder time for me to say it was i was a harder sell than just guys are like oh you know i had no luck uh picking up a girl tonight you go you don't even really want to do do you know what i'm dealing with to pick up a girl i have to convince wait were you banned from every residence yeah yeah yeah no first i got banned from the south then i got banned from all the residences i was gonna say that there's lots of residences no no i was banned from all of them i got banned from hey it really was one of those things funny too because the south one was like a prison so you're breaking into a prison yeah it was like the whole thing everybody goes this was designed by a guy who designed prisons.

Did you live in South? No, I lived in Lenox Avenue. But that residence was designed like a prison. Yeah, that was like, it really was this weird potty prison thing. Yeah, I knew the design

of it ins and outs because I was on the lam. Yeah, Ryan was like fucking car, he was in the duct system and shit. He goes, if you follow this, Tahiri goes,

that'll spit you out in the fucking outside. I was trying to smash a girl I had to crawl through the ducts I actually did know which it was it was big when you got a girl

on the first floor because you know you could go in the window so I'd have inside men though if I was trying to get on the second floor I'd have an inside man that would let me in

his fucking first floor window they would like do a distraction for the fucking gods they'd be like they'd like do like come in with their tray and just do like a big sale oh oh and they're helping you clean up you sneak by it was a nine boy job to get me in there for some snizz it's like oceans 11 uh shit yeah yeah it was uh it was a weird little fucking run and you're just fucking going around guelph with a rappelling hook.

The worst was when I would do something like that, try to go to a girl's house, and then the cops would bring me in and then basically go back to the res, and then I was sleeping in my car on a weird parking lot of the res. And then sometimes the security guys would be like, Ryan, you're not allowed to be here either. And then I'd go park some weird parking lot and sleep in my car. And it was just really like,

uh, this is insane. Life that I'm living right now. Yeah. We go. All right. Back to the bar to try to find an off campus. Woo.

Woo. Yeah. But, so anyways, uh, my point of the matter was, I bet you some of these girls snuck some dudes. Yes.

Non-binary dudes. There you go. I'm reaching out. This is the email that they got that drew some concern. I'm reaching out to give you an update of the radiator project, Mattos wrote. Starting tomorrow, Friday, 10-8, the contractors will be entering rooms between 10 a.m. and 8 p.m. to install radiators. So this is the start of the confusion. I don't know if you read this part, but there was allegedly, they also said in the email that it's mandatory that all the maintenance men will be honking titties on the ground.

They're all doing cup checks. Just so you know, cup checks just so you know cup checks every maintenance man will be giving everybody on the floor a cup check so be prepared for that we recommend you wear your cup cup checks yeah so i i do get why they were sort of upset about it because the guys all they said a team of nine maintenance men are coming through they're doing cup checks on everyone that person said i grew concerned reading the second line which informed me that i had less than 24 hours to prepare for the arrival of the installation crew and I was further perturbed by the ambiguous for a period of time which is apparently again why

they're mad is because they knew if a couple guys were coming through they wanted to get their hair did you know find a nice outfit look good for the fucking it's so funny how little how little life experience people like this have where they go yeah why is this ambiguous time period it's like have you never had an appointment for

anything you're like what do you mean like they give you a range of times and they go because they're doing 45 yeah and they go we'll be there around like in this slot which does suck but that's the nature of the game yeah but it's like if you've ever had internet anything anytime you need a maintenance person they're not like oh be there a 10 10 on the nose they're like they give you a fucking window landlord that i'm dealing with right now he maintenance person, they're not like, oh, be there at 1010 on the nose. They're like, they give you a fucking window. Landlord that I'm dealing with right now, they're fucking on their own. They'll give you a day of week. They can't even give you a day of week

that they're coming. They're like, we're coming sometime in November. And the guy shows up at fucking 1 a.m. to fix the door. And then he just dicks with it a bit. And I go, listen, it's $200.

I've already spent more on a bunch of different things buy a new door yeah blah blah and the guy goes i think we could fix this one and then i have to call him the next day and be like yeah didn't didn't work so yeah so i'm to be honest we got some door problems yeah we got we got door problems so they said in general i'm very adverse to people entering my personal space the anxiety was compounded by the fact that the crew would be strangers and they were more likely to be cisgendered men. So again, a doubtfire.

Do you think this person is autistic? They don't like unwelcome visitors? Well, yeah, but it is also just what, yeah, they don't want unwanted visitors, exactly. Autistic. But it is one of those things where this person that's going to college, you're just like, I don't know why you're bothering going to college because you getting a job is almost going to be impossible.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this is one of those, like, this is one of those, Oberlin, I think, is one of those like super progressive, like liberal arts college. They should have, they should, which they probably do. Someone should be put together stats at like fucking Baldwin versus some other college that they're just normal of like employment you go yeah it turns out that every one of these people who you know had to prepare for a month in order for someone to fix their radiator

yeah it turns out the employment rate like isn't actually that high well in the real world workplace unfortunately yeah so what do they want to do you go i guess you stay in academia forever or you don't right yeah you go you stay in academia and you start a board you make a job for yourself where you go you're the radiator uh yeah you got the radiator the cis radiator person you know you're the radiator uh like schedule person to make sure this never happens again so that's what happens like something bothers them and then they start a committee and then they get to be in charge of the committee and that's how this stuff, you know, compounds. By the way, I'm absolutely disgusted that they could not find female radiator installers.

Well, that's the thing. They need more female radiator installers. That's the real issue is like, where are they? I guess it's because it's more of like a butch. Because that could be. They're at Baldwin College. Well, that could be. At the residence that no men are allowed.

They're in a radiator apprenticeship school. But butch lesbians, I feel like that would be a good butch lesbian thing, but then I guess they're all working at coffee shops. Yeah. So there's no butch lesbians. Do you think that at a lesbian strip club, the girls are normal,

or do they have lesbian strip clubs where the girls come out as butch lesbians and they have the tool belt and all that sort of stuff, hard hat on, and instead of, you know what I mean, instead of dressing up. I think you just invented something. I don't think that's, I don't think there's a butch lesbians and they have like the tool belt and all that sort of stuff hard hat on and instead of you know what i mean instead of dressing up just invented something i don't think that's i don't think there's a butch lesbian they they come out and they have a tool belt maybe the new like like you know how like playboy had all the workers outfit like playboy had strip clubs and stuff maybe at the playboy club now it's like a that's what it is trans guy woman, just a gay guy, butch lesbian.

And also? Drinks are $400. Drinks are $400. Just a really miserable experience. Not a good experience. The next day, I waited apprehensively. The workers began installing in common spaces, and I could see immediately that they were all men. So this must have done it.

But you go, this is the other thing where it's, this is such an easy problem to solve. Imagine having this be your daughter and she's calling you being like, so how's school? And be like, actually fucking terrible. Literally in tears. Yeah. You know, those installers too are like, hey, was everybody on your floor crying too? Yeah, they all were crying.

But yeah, you don't. By the way, these are the same type of people who would freely call people snowflakes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know. They're calling everybody who disagrees with snowflakes back. Calling them back. And you're like, you were crying when someone installed the radiator. They've definitely, the fucking justice people have

definitely adopted calling everyone else snowflakes. Like Keith Olbermann that they were watching. Keith Olbermann comes out and he goes, you people who aren't going to get vaccinated, you know the reason why because you're afraid you're afraid you're afraid it's like danny pointed this out where you go this guy has three masks on he's triple vaxxed on his balcony overlooking and you're and you're afraid yeah you got you're wearing fucking three masks inside of your fucking balcony on a sky rise and you've been vaxxed three times like and they're afraid they're afraid it's like very afraid so crazy these people they're key that

keith olbermann guy i was more just thinking like yeah people in the media are fucking losers yeah he's not even in the media he kind of got he was and then he got fired yeah he was he's the espn guy and he got fired i can't remember what he got fired for. Yeah, he got fired for something. But I mean, he's like an in the media commentator. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that fucking, you know, that class of people that sort of is like the bishops of all the opinion you're supposed to think. Yeah. They're just there to sort of support the old guard. Oh, absolutely. Which really is, uh,

the old guards policy now is like, we don't like the old guard, but really that is, they are the old guard. Yeah. That, that, those guys are all such fucking dweebs. Oh,

big time. Oh, big time. Yeah. But yeah, you go just take the day off. If there, if you go,

listen, I have the biggest problem in the world. Your daughter's calling and she goes, I have a problem bigger than anything. You go, what happened? Did you, are you dropping out of school? Like, and you go, no, I have the biggest problem in the world. Your daughter's calling. She goes, I have a problem bigger than anything. You go, what happened? Are you dropping out of school? And you go, no, they're stalling my radiator. And it's any time tomorrow.

And you go, okay, well, maybe go to the library and study tomorrow. And she goes, I can't go to the library because it's not a safe space. There's going to be men in the library. And you go, okay, well, maybe go to one of your friends' rooms and be like, well, they might go there. Yeah, they're going to stall the radiator. You're like, okay, well, if they come to stall there, then maybe go there and they go i can't do that either and you go i guess die they these people probably think they're like and frank they're like waiting in the fucking attic being like they're here

yeah yeah so they go predicting when they'd reach my room was pure guesswork so i must have stressed her out that was for them too they don't even know when the insistent knock like yeah it's in a horror movie where he's like oh my god i'm so scared he's coming you hear someone else maintenance man you go they're here what happened are they gonna go, they're here. What happened? Are they going to kill us? They're going to be in our space. When the insistent knock eventually came. She does talk about it like it's a horror movie. Yeah. When the insistent knock eventually came, I scrambled to get my mask on.

I don't like that she didn't have her mask on even. She was by herself. Whoa. And repeatedly shouted, coming through the door, repeatedly. I asked meekly if I could not have a radiator installed in my dorm. Yeah, the guy's like, yeah, so freeze then. What do I care?

What the fuck does he care? Yeah, he goes, yeah, sure. I'm still going to bill them for installing it. Well, no, apparently the radiator said no because he goes, yeah, I know I was paid by the school to install a radio in your room, so we're going to have to do the radio. And she goes, but hey, worth a shot.

And then she goes on to say what a terrible experience it was but they are like this is the same person you want to talk about they're the same person that called the snowflakes you know what they really would be the same person to call someone a karen and you go they'll call everything everything this is like how is this person supposed to get through life in any way you're like because the thing is okay so say they the guy goes hey i don't want you to can you just not install the thing he goes yeah sure whatever and then it gets cold and then this person is like this school is freezing out all the trans and non-binary people on this floor how are they doing it you know how are they doing it goes well because they won't give us radiators and they're like well we tried to install it oh yeah they go we tried to install a radiator you

wouldn't let us in because you were too scared. Her big thing is they should have installed them in the summer. It was like, okay, yeah, they did. They're like, there's some administrator who has a list of shit to do and they go, it's getting cold. They go, okay, we got to get the fucking radiator. I'll tell you what, if I did a radiator thing and you go, this is always an inconvenience. You go, someone says, hey, someone's going to have to

come all day tomorrow and install a radiator. You go, that's annoying. You go, what am I going to do about it? I'll tell you what I'm not gonna do about it write an article anyways fucking uh probably cried herself to sleep her therapist probably too was like she was explaining this whole thing and her therapist is like has to pretend like oh my god yeah you're fucking cooked therapy must be so annoying to have one of these fucking people i mean but really honestly it's actually probably good to get one of these people because you're just like when that person walks in and they go i i had i might be quitting school because they're putting a radiator in my room you

go you're you're just like cha-ching you just pull out your uh jew finance rock out of your pocket the universe the universe is working buying a boat yeah you look at it and you go now your parents do they have money yes my stupid white dad is rich and blah blah and you go you go honey i think we can do that vacation yeah We're fucking buying a boat Oh shit That's so great Yeah I don't know This has been The Boys Cast

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