The Boyscast with Ryan Long - Dude Disguises As Chick To Win Chess Tournament, Woman Makes Son Wear Nail Polish, & Fat Airplane Seats

Episode Date: April 21, 2023

Sam Smith controversy, Aussie Comedian under fire for Dalai Lama joke, making your son wear polish and DISGUISING AS A CHICK TO WIN CHESS TOURNAMENTS! SUPPORT THE SPONSORS: Getsunday.com/boyscast - 20% Off Your Custom Plan Athleticgreens.com/boyscast - Free 1 Year Of Vitamin D & 5 Free Travel Packs Nextevo.com/boyscast - 20% Off Your First Order Of $40 Or More RYAN ON TOUR: Atlanta: April 28/29, Philadelphia: May 2/3, Tampa: June 2/3, New York - Sept 16 SUPPORT THE BOYSCAST: https://www.patreon.com/theboyscast http://ryanlongcomedy.com MERCH - ryanlongstore.com Ryan @ryanlongcomedy Danny @dannyjokes LEAVE US A FIVE STAR REVIEW! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Unfortunately this week some Christians were upset with Sam Smith's performance of the Brit Award because apparently they think the devil should only be portrayed by in shape men. But we want to say thank you to Sam for showing Hollywood and Christians that playing the devil isn't just for in shape people anymore it's also for fat gross men. Fat gross dudes can dress up like the devil just as good as normal ones. Yeah you don't have to run on a treadmill in order to run hell. Or play on the New Jersey Devils. You know, Sam Smith is showing that kid ripping around a Walmart in his mobility scooter that he too could be a fat, gross slob playing the devil rolling around on a stage.

Oh, man. If anything, that kid should be eating more to prepare. And also my friend Gord, who's upwards of four bills and wanted to dress as the devil for Halloween, but didn't because he thought the costume looked gross. Well, this is your time, Gord. And to dress like the devil, you shouldn't have to hold back on that 19th deviled egg before deviling over from exhaustion.

White male lizzos should be applauded for making men like us horny with those horns. And that's actually not gay if you checked because technically he's not a dude. Thank you Sam Smith for devouring and then shitting out that harmful stereotype that all gay men have to be in shape and punishing that toilet porcelain with a reality check. Being a fat celebrity is not just for women anymore. And I'm personally retiring these horns in hopes that someone of my moderate size

never dresses up like the devil ever again. Yeah, you know what? Me too. I think that you're probably good on that front. No, thin guys like us. I'm doing this for you. The boys. The boys cast. The lads.

The boys cast. The dudes. Prepare yourselves for the boys cast. The bros. The boys cast. The homies. The boys cast. The dudes. The experience.

The boys cast. The boys cast. The boys cast. You already know what it is. We here. We're queer. Haven't slept again, so I've sort of been doing that. Yeah, the no sleep. Dabbing on the no sleep thing.

It's just grind set. It's Goggins. It's Goggins no sleep. Well, this is actually what's happening. Every time I go to sleep and I lie there so I went to sleep at 8 the other day and I literally lie there

and then basically no one you're about to fall asleep my mind kicks it out of it like literally it's like I'll almost fall asleep then it goes

get out of there really it sort of sees the sleep coming you got the wrong fucking guy you got the wrong one you got the wrong dude

it's Goggins yelling at you in your brain you go you little bitch you need to sleep sleep for wrong dude. It's Goggins yelling at you in your brain. You go, you little bitch. You need to sleep. Sleep for bitches, dude. That's what's happening to me, though. I can lie there. I can feel myself dozing off.

Then I guess a part of my brain is like, not today, bro. You know what I bet would help you? If you go to totally off the grid. No communicate. Of course that would help none of that stuff obviously like as a reset i'm not saying like this is yeah i'm not saying like oh just like get rid of all your go amish i'm saying go amish for like a week yeah i've i've thought of that i actually have thought of that like what if i just went to an island for like a week yeah

yeah i know reset like no phone no computer i wouldn't be able to do it though though i would probably i would i would be that guy building a phone. Yeah. I'd start a phone company. Before I knew it, I'd have my phone Instagram business on. Oh, you'd be talking to a fucking volleyball. You'd be getting real cagey talking about coconuts. Yo, and I'd be telling you my comedy show to the volleyball.

I actually would be. Speaking of comedy shows, I'll be in Atlanta next weekend, Philadelphia, with Danny, San Diego, Tampa, New York,

New Jersey. Danny's going to be in New Jersey next weekend. Yeah, dog, I'm going to be in New Jersey, Morris Plains, April 22nd. Just came back from

Saratoga Springs where he said two people fell asleep in the audience. They passed out from enjoyment. These chicks would not shut the fuck up. And then by the end of it,

they were literally like slumped over like sleeping front row. It's the kind of comedy that you're getting out there. You come. Smooth jazz comedy. It is sort of smooth jazz situation. And it was really hot in there too. It was roasting in there so they were just like

That's crazy. So this is a comedy thing to be first. We gotta give a shout out to a Lou Spears Yeah, so we basically most people it was not a weird thing to talk about the Dalai Lama thing Like a lot of people talked about that But the angry Buddhist protests Ozzie comedian show over his joke about the Dalai Lama asking a young boy to suck his tongue But the comic is not backing down. Yeah angry Buddhist seems like Okay, just like a phrase that shouldn't exist.

Listen to this. Louis Spears! Janding! Louis Spears! Janding! Do you know what they're janding? Shame, shame? No, they're saying Louis Spears, then something in different languages.

Oh. Louis Spears, not funny. Louis Spears, not funny. That is a pretty funny thing to, like, protest at a show. They go, Louis Spears, not funny. That is a pretty funny thing to like protest at a show. They go, Lewis Spears, not funny. That sucks too because generally you want like super political people like, you know, from like one side of the left right.

He did like a normal joke about how the Dalai Lama is sucking the kid's tongue or whatever and it was weird. Even if you are a Buddhist, how are you just like, yeah, nothing weird about this. Like obviously it's sort of a strange thing. Yeah. And they go, he's helped us so much that just give him a pass.

It's honestly incredible. And you're right. It is funny just to have like a hundred Buddhist people outside. And they're just like the most peaceful people. If I was Lou, I'd literally get out there and go, look, cut the shit. One of you needs to just get to it and self-immolate already. Light yourself on fire. I know this is where we're going to end up. Exactly.

So let's just do this. Let's get to the chase. Get some marshmallows and just roast some marshmallows. He wanted to go talk to the protesters and the police told him he wasn't allowed to. Because it was a bunch of like, they just weren't that violent. You know what I mean? Yeah. But it's 150 dudes and there's women and children

at the entrance of the rubber chicken comedy pub. That's the best, too. I love how far behind certain countries are for comedy. You can tell that they got comedy later because they have places called the Rubber Chicken Comedy Club. That was actually the best part about it, I think. It's so funny being a Buddhist that you're just like, hey, you guys, what do you want to do?

You want to do some Buddhist stuff today? It's like, ah, I can't. We got an event at the Rubber Chicken. We're protesting. Let hey, you guys, what do you want to do? You want to do some Buddhist stuff today? It's like, I can't. We got an event at the Rubber Chicken. We're protesting. Let me tell you what. Lou is going to not be laughing when he comes back, gets reincarnated as a bug. I'm telling you, Lou is going to not be laughing then. So the Rubber Chicken part was really funny.

But then on top of that, you're sort of a guy that almost had protests. You had a few protests. I'm a bad boy. I've riled some people. You used to have the devil horns. That's what you used to start. I used to literally end all my sets being like, fucking rock on, devils. I know the audience didn't have a good time, but I don't care.

You came here to laugh and you left crying. And then now people are sleeping at his show. Yeah, now they're sleeping at his show. Yeah. Now they're sleeping. So I've gone full circle. Full circle. That would be, I guarantee 2015 Danny, if he came out and he saw your new shows, he goes, Oh, they like, you know how they, you do it like a future in time.

Like this guy was like, take some time potion. We're just going to put him in 10 years. He goes, I can't wait to see how good Danny's gotten at comedy. I'm a bad boy now, but he must be really bad boy. And he's like waiting at the door, talking to the other time potion. We're just going to put him in 10 years. He goes, I can't wait to see how good Danny's gotten at comedy. I'm a bad boy now, but he must be really bad boy. And he's like waiting at the door, talking to the other time travelers. He's like,

what'd you got the leather jacket you think I got on? Then he walks in, people are snoring. I'll just be like, Hey, everybody wake up. Wake up. You're walking through the crowd,

pouring water on people, poking the new Danny, but no one can see you. So just water the thing. You go, I'm a bad boy! I'm a bad boy! Who the fuck is this shit, new Danny? Yeah.

Old Danny wouldn't like that. But the pedophile jokes fell flat for some of the Buddhist demonstrators. Oh, did they? Some of the demonstrators who arrived at the pub at the Melbourne Comedy Festival. So how many shows do you think you'll have of protesters, like two or three?

I don't know. That's a good question. Probably it'll end once they realize there's no point. I think they want to just get their message across, which is honestly pretty decent turnout for you to organize 100 people to show up to protest as a comedian. 150? 150? That's pretty good. You can't really

count all of them, though a lot of people brought their whole families. That's pretty good you have to you can't really count a lot of people brought their whole families that's the thing you forget yeah yeah that's like westboro baptist church we go where do you get these numbers and go yeah we force our family to come well said that's what it was it was it wasn't it was 150 divided by four so it was at 40 you can do that math would you say yeah that's around 40 38 but yeah basically they they so it's like 40 40 dudes and then it's like the whole family's coming. And some of those families are bigger too.

Yeah. But that's the other thing I was thinking because this weekend I was only doing stand up and I sort of went on a, what you said, the cleanse of everything, but except for stand up. And I know people don't love talking about stand up that much on the podcast. They're kind of sick of it. But the one thing I will say is I was realizing this stand up sort of better and the reason

the reason for it is that like it was sort of centered my whole life a little bit and one of the reasons for that is like it's actually like sort of a

you want to play like games in your life that you actually sort of can win at where it's like okay you're trying to write these jokes and then you go on the stage

and you do it and then you start tweaking it and you actually can have like a finished thing whereas everything else like social media you ever see that

Seinfeld episode where Newman's like the mail never stops that's like everything else I'm doing have like a finished thing. Sure. Yeah. Whereas everything else, like social media, you ever see that Seinfeld episode where Newman's like the male never stopped. The male never stopped. That's like everything else I'm doing. Or like, or like a guy that's just trying to have sex with girls. It's like the game never ends. All you can do.

And your prize for winning the game is more of the game. It's funny you say that because I've been reading this guy who, uh, he's like this big, like, um, life op, not life op productivity guy.

His name's, uh, something forte. I can't remember, but he has this thing. It's called like the second second brain how to organize all this stuff and there's like a one of there's these four things and one of the buckets is the stuff that never ends like he's like there's he's like there's basically like there's projects and then there's areas and he's like projects are a thing that end so like in my list i'd be like this is a thing that that will eventually end but then like if you have something that like never ends, it goes in like the areas thing.

Well, I have only things that never end, I was feeling like. Well, that's why you got to get, yeah, you got to, yeah.

You got to segment them. So you can be like, at least these things, I can get these wins. Like these things I can chip off and this has a final end to it. And then the areas are like, they never end. I'll tell you what,

your health, like your health never ends. That's an area that is like, that's literally one of the ones I was thinking about. I was like going to the gym. I was like another thing that it's just never end. I'll tell you what. Like your health. Like your health never ends. That's an area that is like. That's literally one of the ones I was thinking about. I was like going to the gym. I was like another thing that is just never over.

Yes. Just do it forever. Well, yeah. But you die. Literally. But I mean, there is no final to it. All you can do is keep adding

like goals, I guess, you want to achieve, I guess, to that. But like, yeah. I mean, you die. That's it.

That's it. Well, it only ends for the day and then you just have like 20 things to end that day yeah i know it stinks i'll tell you definitely fucking didn't end for so the hot topic on the internet right now is uh with like the plus size women demand more the so basically your people my people yeah the devil people plus size woman demands free seat and bigger bathrooms on airlines in online petition i'll sign that petition yeah i want like who doesn't want that like literally who does not want that what person is like you know you know what i'm fine with my

like really uncomfortable see where this fucking metal thing is jamming into my knee i what i actually said was taller is way more fair if you actually think about it yeah well because obviously the main thing is a taller person like actually to some degree can't help that right yeah okay and to all the degrees all the in fact yeah but the if you're like so this one is if you're if you're combining for this how does it not how does this how does it stop at fat is my first thing right and you also said you had the funniest phrase sm-o which is super morbidly yes someone i know the person and they were like went on this whole it was about the movie the whale and they didn't like how the

whale was being portrayed and they literally were like as an sm-o and then i was like what's sm-o and then i went to look it up and it's the term is super morbidly obese love it but it's like they're like where this is the category because this is the type of person too they're like they don't really fit into any victim category so they had to like kind of this is the one that they smos tough dude like you're with your chick you're like yeah I'm a bit of a sma content creator so whatever this girl basically on tiktok made this whole big basic thing because she's too fat to sit in her chair right yep and sort of become a big debate but it's like they go the couples are both plus-sized travelers she described in a flight from pasco to denver

on which her fiancee was subjected to comments and disapproving looks and even refusal to sit next to them i mean it's funny because you have a big debate. You're like, yeah, it's a big debate in one country in the world. Yeah, huge debate in this one country. It's not a debate in any other country in the world. Like, what are you going to do? So say they go, okay, we're going to extend all the seats and then you're going to end up running into tourists from Asia who go, can we just go two to,

can we just buy one seat? One seat for two of us, yeah. Two of us, like very comfortable. Or the opposite, where you go Brendan Fraser whale style. I think what they're saying is they should get a free seat, right? So you go Brendan Fraser whale, where you do like the full fat suit, like we go full Buck and Chuck.

And then you go, I'm here for my second seat. Again, I want a second seat. But that's what I mean. If you just, well, I shouldn't say you in my case, if I was to to you know you put the padding on yeah and you do the makeup yeah and you show up and you legitimately just accept you go hey i'm here if you have me to need a whole row yeah honestly now you're talking about i actually just thought of an invention because you know how all these airlines are being like fat suit no no no no no no not fat suit hear me out here because you know the airlines

charge you for carry-ons yeah so it's a bag that you wear. So you put all your shit. So it's a fat suit that you, like a fat suit bag that you wear. So you save on the carry-on charge as well. And you get the extra seat. That's actually okay, yeah. Yeah. So you just pack your fat suit with your clothes and all your things.

And then you're walking around. Yeah, that's not bad. Fat suit full of clothes. Yeah. Yeah, we did clothes yeah yeah we did yeah we did like why wouldn't you it all boils down to though even when they're talking about all this stuff because they're just like you know what should happen is this and it was like well i guess the question is like how much should you know the government start telling airlines like hey you've got to do this i feel like this is the stuff what happened in like canada first where they go anyone gets a free seat to be it does really incentivize it though too you go

hey you're right on the margin like do you have to go on a scale or you just sort of honor system because then you go hey i think that i need two seats like what and they go what are they gonna say of course and then what they say like no i don't think you're big enough you go i am i'm too fat or what happens when a guy who's like, yeah, I'm an offensive lineman for a college football team, so I'm like, I don't look necessarily fat. I'm just a massive guy. What happens is they basically have a guy that stands at the front of the airline, and then they decide who gets two seats,

and he sort of asks, he goes, a carnival barker? He goes, step right up! And then you go, hey, here it is. And then you step on it, he goes, ding, ding, ding, you won a second seat! And he's got a little cane, and he's inspecting the fat with the cane. He's like touching and stuff and just like lifting.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a second seat. Oh, that is bad news for the standby page. Oh, that's going to be bad news for standby. So basically if you're on standby, you stand beside the scale. And then if the guy ding, ding, ding, then what happens is they drop the box and the guy shoots back out to the main area. So there's like a slide beside the thing.

What about if they let those people go, okay, we'll give you extra room, but you've got to go in the cargo hold? See, that... There's room in the cargo hold. It's a little chilly in there, but... Because there should be some sort of like you shouldn't be excited. Some sort of incentive to shouldn't be excited like some sort of incentive to not be in this section so it should be in another section that's like a little

less comfortable yeah basically yeah and again you're asking for more room you're asking for more room for the same amount of money so you're just like yeah cargo well they're saying they basically want to subsidize is the idea right because they're like all the airlines pay for it's like well that's not how it works It's basically everyone pays a little bit of it. Yeah. As well for their insurance. Their health insurance as well is also being subsidized by everybody else. Yeah, exactly. I don't... Yeah, you go, you have

enough things subsidized for you. I mean, again, I just, they don't live in reality. They go, yeah, this is what I want. And you go, based on what? Sure, yeah. Yeah, but this is you might not live in reality because I honestly think that in some, this is what I want. And you go, based on what? Sure, yeah. Yeah, but this is, you might not live in reality. Because I honestly think that in some countries, this is coming. In countries other than America?

I think some places, you do get a second seat if you're fat. I mean, there are, we've talked about this before. There are airlines, actually, who do, as a policy, if there's a seat available, they will give it to you. If there's a seat available. They will give it to you. But on a sold-out flight, they're just like, yeah. Have you ever been in a flight where the two people beside you are really big and you basically like they're almost touching and you're in the seat

no but I've seen people where the two people are in sync when I went to first gang fest yeah I was like the person was literally it was a regular sized dude normal sized dude probably like you and the chick was really big and she was in the middle he was on the window

and I was in the aisle so she was like spilling over into my seat That's what happened you essentially well You're not you weren't in the middle though the middle is where you don't want to be you basically become like a guy That's being you be like a small dude. That's being motorboated by a girl's two huge titties You're like the guy getting motorboat in the middle. Yeah, I mean here's okay. Here's an idea right those people wanted to have it subsidized What if you get dudes with fat fetishes, right? And, you know, the skinny dudes with fat fetishes, and they pay extra to sit in between the two heifers?

Yes. Because they would, right? If you go, hey, we'll get you right in between these real big girls, and they'll be all spilling on you and sweating on you. Yeah. The passenger can, this is the things that they want. big girls and they'll be all spilling on you see that's how we went on you and yeah the passenger can this is the things that they want they want larger bathrooms seat belt extenders and alternative seating arrangements so uh and then also they said it's not unreasonable to have a a seat or an extra row so they go all plus size passengers should be provided with an extra free seat or even two or

three so demanding a rose a lot What do you think of this? Demanding a whole row is pushing it. What do you think for the extra seating options? If they ever have to extract an elephant from a zoo or something. They part it on the bottom. Operation Dumbo drop style. Here we go. Where's my seat? Just stand on the tarmac.

A helicopter is going to come pick you up and fly you away. I don't know if you saw, but they do a thing where it's like the world's fattest man. And they show the world's fattest man. You know how it used to be the carnival position? And essentially from the world's fattest man back in the day, it looks like any dude at Walmart right now. It's pretty pretty crazy dude if you actually look at it you go i know 20 people bigger than this guy yeah yeah it's funny

that world's fattest man world's oldest man is like you only get to keep that title for like a month buddy you gotta take a peek at this guy he looks like he's from white ear just go like the old world's fattest man or whatever but like this, it's like if you actually look at him, it's like we know 20 comedians that look like this. World's Fattest Man 1890? Yeah, 1890. That's the World's Fattest Man? This guy was like attraction. That guy looks like Vader or something from wrestling.

He looks like 100 wrestlers. Yeah, it's not just wrestlers. Oh, you put a spandex suit on this guy and throw him in the ring. You wouldn't miss a beat. Yeah, that was before all the processed foods. That's crazy that that dude is the world's fattest man. I guess they didn't have good health care, though. So that's just kind of what health care allowed you to max out at, too, right?

So you're saying the world's actual fattest man is fucking grave. Well, this is the, what's the dude who, the guy who ran the fastest, like, four minute mile or whatever, you couldn't go faster than that? I can't remember what his name was. No one thought it's possible to eat that much. But then they're like, yeah, they didn't have like statins and all these things that keep you alive. Because they're keeping these people alive to allow them to get fatter.

Whereas this guy didn't have the advantage. So there's a bit of an asterisk. I'm telling you, I think Canada's either going to do all the stuff that they requested. Did you like the Canadian 69 stuff? There's a bit of an asterisk. I'm telling you, I think Canada's either going to do all the stuff that they requested. Yeah. Have you, did you like the Canadian 69 stuff? Are you happy with that? Canadian 69?

Elon Musk. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was thinking of a funny sketch of being like your Elon Musk joke writer and you like write all these jokes and he's like, I think we're going 69 again. And you go, all right. I just kind of wrote all this stuff. I just like talking on the CBS. He's like, how about we do this?

69. I was like, I was kind of thinking maybe we do like, you know, put black owned business, sort of take a dig at Trudeau. Like there's a lot of funny things we could do. And he's just like, 69 again. Okay. All right. 69 and 420.

Okay. 69 days till 420. That's what I mean. I wrote pages and pages here. What are you hiring me for? He's not happy that Elon Musk. I just like that he's taking the piss out of Kat. Like pissing off all the people in the CBCs.

We're leaving Twitter. Okay. I know, right? You still have a website. Like we still access your news. Well, all of them are leaving. But he is, he just like sort of, Elon's just like wreaking havoc right now. Yeah.

I guess that's, you know, you spend 44 billion. I feel like that was up your alley. I feel like you'd be more excited about that. The CBC getting, I feel like you're a different cbc guy yeah no that happened you were saying it might happen and then it did happen yeah yeah the problem with my because i actually think that the cbc like local stuff is okay it's the net it's the national shit that is is the poison that's the poison stuff that's the poison it's the national show so i did a um these are huffpost did an article there's a lot of fat stuff this week nice we haven't done in a while but

there was a huffpost did a basically an article that was common phrases that are actually fat shaming yeah and basically it's a list of phrases that you should never say but the funny part is thinking of them in the context of like your girl that's getting fatter. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because they basically say experts. So there's experts. The experts is from experts, Danny, so don't question it. Share with these common anti-fat phrases and how you can be a little more mindful of your language.

So you're not fat. You're beautiful. That's the first one you shouldn't say. An all-time popular phrase, all-time popular for psychopath psychopaths is telling someone that they're beautiful to console them because if someone says i'm looking fat and you go no you're not beautiful you're fat you know those what do those have to go what you're you're what you're supposed to say is no you're fat and beautiful what how do you think that would go over because i'm feeling kind of fat you go yeah and what's wrong with that i I don't feel beautiful. I feel fat. You go, correction.

You're fat and beautiful. No, you're morbidly obese and beautiful. I can't even fit into my pants. You can't fit in your pants and you're pretty. I cannot believe that there is a National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance. It's funny to me. I'm on their website right now. They have a thing called Campaign for Size Freedom.

You know what's funny the one thing that the national association you had the bathhouse with your campaign for size you know what's funny though you know what the one thing that the national because they have all these like get get involved they have all these events let me tell you what event i'm gonna predict they don't have a march for fat acceptance for the national association of fat acceptance nobody showed i think if they'd have to do that they'd have to do the march of street repair that's crazy they want to add weight as a protected class we're doing a march of, we're doing the fat march, and then we're also doing the street repair march the next day. The march of repairmen. Yeah, the construction worker march the next day.

We're just like, we're opposing. You know how they'll have the Palestine and Israel, and it's like ones on one side. Remember they did that in Toronto, and they're all yelling at each other every year? They'll be like that. It's just like the construction workers and the fat people. They're just like, go home.

You go home. One fat construction worker is not sure what to do. Yeah, he goes like the black cops that were getting yelled at. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a scab fixing the streets. Oh, shit. So they don't want you to say that.

You're fat. You're beautiful. That's a big one for them. Yeah. So the best is just thinking like you're dating a chick that's like she's put on like a few pounds you know what i mean like i feel fat it's like and there's nothing wrong with that she's like you're supposed to say i'm not it's like but you are and you're beautiful i'm having a cheat day one term that comes from diet culture is cheat day according to osborne a cheat day is the idea

that there's a universal right way to eat and you have a special day for bad food is cheat day, according to Osborne. A cheat day is the idea that there's a universal right way to eat, and you have a special day for bad food. So cheat day, basically if someone has a cheat day, cheat day is every day. JJ's me. Yeah, yeah, of course. It's funny, though. I mean, The Rock, he's a big cheat day guy. Cheat day implies that you can only have one day like this,

otherwise you get fat. It's like, what's true, though? I mean, it is. Yes, that's what's happening to all your members. It's a really troubling thing. Your constituency is has daily cheat days yes but their idea is that there's nothing wrong with that which is it's one thing to be like it's sort of all over the place because it really kind of tools back and forth from being like yeah like there's uh you'll get fat if and there's nothing wrong with that to being like some people say that if you cheat food every day that you'll get fat and it's like you will and there shouldn't's nothing wrong with that to being like, some people say that if you cheat food every day

that you'll get fat. And it was like, you will. And it's like, there shouldn't be nothing wrong with that, I guess, right? Yeah, you're not a protected class. That's insane. It's definitely a protected class. Protected by gravity. That's so fucking dumb.

They make us do this. Yeah, like, we have really nice rules. We have better things to talk about out here. It's hard when it becomes the entire Twitter discourse Whether this fat person gets a fucking full plane to themselves What am I supposed to do? Ignore it?

Call your legislators here Sign the petition and then call your legislator What's the petition? I demand justice for the fat people Can you say another petition? Can I? I gotta gripe. Stop making these petitions so delicious.

Chucking bucks on the petition. It literally is. You're like, what are you talking about, boys? And then they say, you lost weight, you look great, so don't tell anyone that. Yeah. Say that you look equally as good. I mean, the only thing I will say is there is a thing where people who lose weight look worse in the face. Well, that's a separate thing.

You're saying that some people, there's a certain type of people that they just look fucking deathly. Yeah, they look deathly, but they are are much healthier you know who that's the most with old people yeah like old people with a little meat on their bones look a little better but it's also like filler it's like you know that guy hard rock nick ever seen weird looking dude on uh instagram or whatever that he's like somewhat popular. Anyways, he lost a lot of weight and he just like looks way worse. Okay. His face looks so weird.

I have seen a few people in my life that I'll tell you what they definitely look is older. Yeah, yeah. It ages you. Because you're like gets shallow and like, yeah. But that's not what they're saying. They're saying just even if they do look better, you shouldn't tell them that. And then beyond this Many people who lose weight

Eventually gain it back Well that's the equivalent of being like Someone's got a new job And it's like I don't want to say congratulations Because there's a chance you'll get fired You're like what? It's like yeah Someone's like working out

And they look better It's like well Someone comes out and like How do I look? And they go we'll see Yeah we'll see Not so fast Yeah okay I mean you know like how do I look and they go we'll see yeah we'll see not so fast yeah okay

I mean you know maybe worth a comment but I mean I don't have to take that compliment back so I'm just not going to give it

in the first place I'll congratulate you at your funeral how does that sound well it's like come back to me in two months we'll fucking talk pal

this is a this looks like a short term weight loss so don't get too don't get too comfortable there getting compliments just want to say before you get these compliments distributed I don't want you getting too enjoying this because This looks like a short-term weight loss. Don't get too comfortable there getting compliments. Just want to say before you get these compliments distributed,

I don't want you getting too enjoying this because... And then the last thing. Yeah, they go, I'm going to be bad, so I'll have this cookie. That's one. Yeah. And you go, well, there's nothing bad about it. Yeah, what's bad about eating a box of Oreos? And I mean, also, let's be honest. Do you ever say that, though?

You probably say that for sure. How many times do you say that to your chick? You go, let's be fucking bad. I mean, that's woman talk right there because my girlfriend does say that. She orders cupcakes and she goes, I'm going to be bad. Well, you're supposed to correct her

and be like, I don't see anything bad about that. Yeah, there's nothing bad about that. You're and you're beautiful do you ever you know you're saying you don't come in the bedroom though just like and then like danny's been a bad boy i feel like you do that oh i got something in my teeth and it's like the the cupcake wrapper like the whole thing you're bad. No you're fucking bad It's neighbors like hearing you guys in the other room like oh you're so fucking bad yeah, yeah fucking they come in It's just you would like 12 doughnuts like you and your jig just covering fucking doughnuts Hey, you're fucking bad girl. You're a fucking bad boy. Yeah, tell me how bad I Just whipped cream.

Yeah, we put the whipped cream on it. Everyone thinks that you're fucking... Can you guys stop having sex over there? Sags. We haven't had sex in 14 years. So that's you guys. Yep. Also, they say it's racist, too.

There's a part of it where they go. Also, we're not thinking of how the ways all this food stuff comes from racist positions. And the racist ideology behind anti-fat. Yeah. That's a fucking judo move, though, right now. The racist ideology behind anti-fat. Yeah, so that's a judo move is what we call that in the business. That's a word jumble right there.

And also saying people have small dicks is Asian. It's Islamophobic. Yeah, I don't, yeah. I'm going to take a quick second here to tell you about one of our favorite sponsors, Sunday. Sunday, Sunday. But it's actually only one sunday so if you someone like danny might have been confused there for a second but listen it's starting to warm up there's nothing i love more than the summer coming at you loving it new york's starting to pop off we're walking around in t-shirts maybe a little colder today but you want to get outside

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Extremely amount of wins for the boys this week. Never boys, never not winning boys be winning boys are never not winning. This man used a Merca to disguise himself to participate in the women's chess tournament. We kind of took it out. Actually. I know this wasn't the best one. I shouldn't have started with this in the women's chess tournament. Well, he kind of took it out, actually. I know. This wasn't the best one. I shouldn't have started with this

in my category of wins for the boys, but basically so this dude, but the funny part so there's basically this guy who's in Kenya. This is Ladybugs. Yeah. This is the Kenyan version of Ladybugs starring Rodney Dangerfield.

But it's like literally for the modern era they go okay it's a muzzle wears a burka it's got all the fixings all the stuff so and how what happened originally they even said in the article

that none of them wanted to be culturally insensitive so no one said anything so he basically wasn't saying anything he didn't even have women's shoes on. Yes underneath Like at first they were like, yeah, nothing wrong here. And this guy wasn't like pranking. He was like he needed the money He's the money. Yeah, well, he saw he goes damn They're given first prize to for this chair women's chess tournament is like three thousand pounds or something

I don't know because he's playing too good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And not speaking ever. The not speaking joke. No woman's possible. That's not possible for a woman to not speak. Why can't he just be like Hey, hey. Have you ever seen Mrs. Doubtfire? Yeah, he could have. Did he prepare for this at all? He should have had some version of like, okay, okay, check me. Check, check me.

Check, check me. Check, check me. But you are right though was the missed out part I think though But like It's so funny Like the idea of getting together A female

A team of female Like everyone that's trying to Like fire Do like quotients or whatever It's like Oh this comedy show Is only We know it has just as many females

As men It's like just four Five guys And then five guys in burkas It's a super diverse comedy show Wow It's like the life hack Where you go

You go You go to someone's Like advertising office Or maybe not advertising Like accounting office because it's a super diverse company wow it's like the life hack where you go in you go you go to someone's like advertising office in order to maybe not advertising like accounting office it's like actuarials it's like an actuarial office and you go in it's just like 10 guys and then 10 people at burka's i mean legit where you like from speaking of canada you're like you want to get a show on cbc like you're like a white dude comic in toronto trying to get a show on cbc just like throw on the fucking burka. Literally on site they give you a show. Everyone in burkas.

I have such a crazy lived experience. Do you want to hear my, you know that guy Napoleon? Yeah. Super funny. Me and him had like the best thing saying that, you know, like, so basically with like the, the like trans people in women's basketball or something like that, do you know they had like the Adam Sandler movie where he's like the scout? And you know, if you're like a basketball scout or whatever, they know if someone's like seven foot and fucking like, you know,

the throes of Africa, like the word gets out. They've got their ear to the ground. Like that's the job. You know what I mean? That's how they found, I think like Hakeem Olajuwon and all like Sergio Bacca. Dekambe Mutombo. Dekambe Mutombo. He started playing basketball like in his twenties, right?

Yeah. Pascal Siakam even actually on the record. Yeah. So there's, so there's always like, there's been a few movies of finding these like hidden gems or whatever, right? So it's like a women's

basketball scout. It's the movie. And he just, he's like, he gets his ear to the ground of anyone that transitioned. So basically like, there's like,

he's in Brooklyn and there's like this bartender that transitioned. He's like in the corner with his thing. And the guy like, the guy throws out the fucking like, throws out a wrapper and lands in the garbage.

You order two beers, he takes the caps off of them. There's the cap in the garbage and the guy's like, hey kid, you ever played ball? And she's like, what? She's like some hipster barista, like what? Hey kid, you want to play in the WNBA? So it's like a

male basketball coach that's coaching the female team and they're like, he's got to win this championship or he loses his job. So he's just like scouting around all the places. Like he's at the marches like with all the trans people,

but he's literally... Yeah, he's just like looking... Yeah, yeah, yeah. You might talk, you know when Ace Ventura is like he's going and he gets everyone to punch him with the ring

to find out if the ring has the stones in it. He's like looking around me like, God, please tell me that woman is not on stilts right now. And he just walks over to her. And he's just like, hey, do you mind? Oh, I just dropped this. Do you mind throwing it to me?

And he puts his hands in a hoop. So this dude's just, yeah, he's essentially like guys just traveling around the world finding the perfect people to just transition. I think that actually was a movie, The Heir Up There, when I was a kid. He's hanging he's hanging outside

the gender dysphoria clinics with a sign but through the sign he has his binoculars he's disguised as like a Matt Walls protester damn man

I hope that we're I mean people are predicting it but it seems like we're maybe only a few years away from you just write that script

and then some AI thing will just crank you out that movie yeah that would be amazing so sick all these stupid things we have right now just write it if you cast ai to crank that out now ai would just give you a script there's just like one word it says you should be ashamed of yourself yeah but it would give you some resources of sensitivity training that you should attend. Someone shows up at your house and goes, that's not funny. Knock it off. Yeah, basically someone in a suit shows up at your house. Knock it off.

Knock it off. Drink a Bud Light. Sam Altman shows up. Knock it off, man. Danny said that you were in the sticks this weekend doing your show, and you said you went to the bar and the guys were arguing over the Bud Light. It was so good. The manager at the club, he goes, let's go to my watering hole.

It's way out of town. I was like, oh, yeah. And we went and it's just like, you know. It looks like kind of up north, northern Ontario. Everything's wood. It's just like everybody's grabbing the remote, you know. Oh, yeah. They're feeling at home there.

Exactly. Everybody's feeling at home. Everybody knows. Someone walks in. Everybody knows her name, like that kind of place. And there's like a bunch of guys. It's all the same name, Randy. Yeah, exactly.

Randy, Randy. And then a bunch of guys are drinking Bud Light because that's their beer that they can't stop drinking. And then other people are drinking Coors Light, but the people who drink Bud Light,

everybody's like, call them gay and stuff. And I was about to, I think I said one thing about Bud Light and the guy's like, easy, all right, all right. He's like, the new guy is not coming in here

and giving me shit about Bud Light, okay? You thought you were going to get in on the action. I just was like, yeah, Bud Light. People drink Bud Light. The guy's like, alright. You were trying to fit in with the Coors guy. You bought a Coors and you go stand with them. Look at this queer.

The guy goes, who's the new guy? I stood out like a sore thumb. I was like, can I get a bourbon old-fashioned? Dude, this place had a rule, though. A handwritten sign that said no more than two shots per day. No. Yeah.

You can only order two shots a day. That's been a problem, huh? That's been... That's been a big problem. That's been a problem, huh? That's been a big problem. That's been a real issue for them. Do you know who that probably is from? Like their wives that like, you know, coming in with black eyes. I don't know, but that's a very established rule. And it said like no exceptions.

You can't buy more than two shots. And they go like per day. There's got to be some missed out flyers in that situation. I mean, but it's like per day. Like I was in there at 2 p.m. Well, are like the shots probably too yeah i know that's so funny though that there's like a divide between the coors light guys and the people are just like yeah this is my identity i'm not like it's it's um like ford versus like chevy you know yeah exactly you don't go switch like are you kidding my? My brother had a funny comment.

He mentioned me and he was like, he goes, basically my buddies are split between ironically drinking Bud Light or ironically shooting it in solidarity with Kid Rock. He goes, I have two groups of friends. Groups that are like,

oh, ha ha ha, we're gay. Or groups that are like, I'm basically pulling out their guns and shooting it. I mean, the ha ha we're gay thing is like, at least you just get to drink your favorite beer still.

Yeah, for the rest of their life they have to ironically drink Bud Light. I'm a big homo. Imagine I was doing this for real and the whole case,

yeah. You're doing returns at the beer store, you know, doing like two for a Bud Light just like on the rolling thing. 24, might as well suck

24 dicks probably I guess anyway it's gonna have my dollar you're just constantly look at me I'm on hormones and all that stuff I'm gay I eat the can. I'm gay. Yeah, that's good shit.

So the other win from the book, for the other, well, there's a couple more, but the second win for the boys was the football guy, soccer. That's what we're going to call it here. Footy.

Footy in it. So basically, his name's Akiaf Hakimi. Yep. And his wife filed for divorce and demanded half his property. But she was, however, informed by the court of her millionaire husband owns nothing and all his property is registered under his mother's name. So this is the thing we sort of talked about. And then people were saying, you can't really pull that off.

But I was saying forever. It's like so many rappers have done this forever. Yeah, I will say they're saying his salary he makes what a million he makes 215 grand a week yeah exactly but they go and he's worth 70 million but they're like so what his mom signed his contract or like no he gave it to her every week i guess so yeah like every week he just cuts her you're just saying the logistics of it you're not sure i'm just like wondering like are like his psg this team are they sending it directly to the mother? Well, I don't know about that part.

I guess you can look it up if you want. I mean, definitely, yeah. They say he does not own any property or money in the bank. Somehow he pulled it off. But I mean, you're allowed to buy your mom a house. Of course. So this is what I was sort of saying. This is what everyone does.

And people were kind of like, no, you kind of can't do that. It doesn't work like that. And it seems like it can. I think you can't do that it doesn't work like that and it seems like it can i think it's you can't do it like once you're the divorce is starting you can't be like oh now i'm buying my mom i know no that is you can't do that but while you're married also this is somewhere else it might be a little different here like they they i mean listen this is the thing there is a bunch of like dudes right now on the internet that are kind of saying like you know marriage doesn't make sense if you're a dude that has more money.

Cause it's like, it's like, it really is like, you know, there's some, I think Dick Magid was like marriage is slavery. But like, if you have way more money and the prenups don't really like hold,

it was like, if a girl wants to marry, you are like, it is such a fucking, like if you're, especially if you're like a guy that has money, you're like, you're not, this would be the risky, riskiest investment i've ever made in my life

i sent you the thing the guy the goat of divorces someone sent that to me insane yeah explain that old dude who was like a you know a billionaire or whatever married some chick so crazy and then they went on vacation to dominican republic which is apparently the only country in the world where you can file for divorce without telling the other person like it is apparently the only country in the world where you can file for divorce without telling the other person like it's like the only place where it could be like a single uh side divorce or whatever so then they went on vacation right after he got married divorced his wife and then they were together for 20 years she had no idea that they were divorced and then 20 years later she goes i want a divorce and he goes don't all good we're already divorced

yeah good good good news yeah good news we're already divorced because she's like and i want all the assets she goes that well you're gonna happen to know that you're already have a time machine yeah yeah he goes i mean i guess i can just you know see in the future so i just knew you were gonna want this so i went ahead and did it for you yeah 20 years ago and then so she just get anything and everyone's calling him the goat of divorce i I mean, that is crazy. Goat move, yeah. But I'll tell you what maybe wouldn't be a goat move if he just died

and she didn't get anything. She'd be like, what the hell? Yeah, for sure. Imagine she just died and he was like, because they were together for 10 years or whatever.

She stuck it out for a while. Of course. But imagine he just died and she didn't get anything and he was like, well, because I thought you were going to divorce me. He's like, okay, you were wrong

and now you're just screwing me for no reason. But I guess you could have him in the will yeah you get him in the will and i mean there's also like there's lots of things like that happen where you know well you're like hey listen if i die money if i die you get the money but if you divorce me we were this happens with famous people i think all the time we're like you know some some famous guy who's like you know 80 and then marry some hot chick and then uh for his like you know last few years and then dies and then it's like oh it turns out 80 and then marries some hot chick. And then for his like, you know, last few years and then dies. And then it's like, oh, it turns out he changed his will

and left all of his money to this like new chick and nothing to his family. It's a fucking, piss me off. I'll tell you that much. If you're the kids and you're like, what? It's like this lady who's clearly taking advantage of my like dad in his last like years. Now he owns all his shit. It was the Howard B. Stern or whatever. What's the guy, Howard H. Stern? Who's that? was clearly taking advantage of my like dad in his last like years now has owns all his shit it was

the howard b stern or whatever what's the guy howard h stern who's that there's a guy named howard stern but it's not yeah that was with uh howard stern with uh and nicole smith yes exactly yeah exactly there's a classic case yeah but there is yeah so there is a lot of people that are kind of like yeah you have to do all this stuff because there's you know know, unless you just, you know, whatever, have the exact same amount of money. And there is, I guess there is sort of a part where you're like, listen, if you fucking have money and the girl like isn't working raising your kids or

whatever, like I get there is some like fair amount that has made sense. But I think the idea is that people are like, yeah, the divorce courts are not fair. Well, there's a lot of people that, you know, I think there's a lot of people uh that you know i think there's an Andrew Tate thing recently where he like he's posting about who knows it's true that he bought his friend like a fucking new car because basically like this guy had a house

or whatever and basically got divorced and he ended up like you have to essentially pay for all the lawyers and stuff and it comes out of whatever they were like it comes out of the guy's end the guy the girl gets the kid so she got all the money so it's like basically she took like more than half his things he basically liquidated his car she got all that stuff and the guy's end. The girl gets the kid so she got all the money. So it's like, basically she took more than half his things. He basically liquidated his car. She got all that stuff and the guy just like kind of lost everything.

That scenario does exist. I mean, Dave Foley from Kids in the Hall is like famously, he couldn't go back into Canada because his divorce like settlement

was so... I have a buddy who has one of those too. Like that. And the thing is, when he got divorced, his alimony was based off of

the money he was making while he was on news radio entertainment people get real screwed kind of money every year he's like i made that kind of money for five years yeah or three or whatever however many years uh you know news radio was on the air until fucking andy dick fucked it up and then how did he fuck it up? Because he got Phil Hartman's wife back on drugs. And then she then went and killed Phil Hartman. I forgot that that was like the story. So that's what ended it? And then, well, Phil Hartman died.

And then there was maybe a year after that. That's nuts. Yeah, but it was Andy Dick got Phil Hartman's wife back on drugs. I'm sure people don't hate Andy Dick because of that. I was wondering, what was that? Why did that home have a gun in it? It just seems weird. Like you're saying, Phil Harmon doesn't seem like the type to be

packing like that. He doesn't seem like a guy to have a pistol in his house. I guess. But yeah, so there is a lot of, I mean, it is interesting though, because there's stuff you can do, it seems like. But you know who gets screwed the most is the in-between people. I feel like rich guys, like really

rich where you have like the top of fucking lawyers, you probably set yourself up so you don't get screwed that hot. It's like the guy that makes like 400 grand a year for the last 10 years, and then like his family's kind of worth like 2.5 million, like that's their whole asset. I feel like that's the guy that walks away like with all his money gone.

I guess it depends on your definition. I actually was reading like a couple of weeks ago about this hedge fund guy in New York, Israel Englander is his name. Uh-huh. Yeah. And it was like in the page six, like, you know. Yeah, I think I remember. Remember?

Because he, his wife left him for a chick. I remember this. Yeah, we talked about it. Yeah, or whatever. He got a billion dollars. Or she got a billion is what the sign was. How much does he have? Like 10. Yeah, we talked about it. Yeah, or whatever. He got a billion dollars. Or she got a billion is what the sign was. How much does he have?

Like 10. Yeah, but that's what I mean. She probably signed a prenup. I don't know if she did. I think because it was before he was rich that they got married. They were together

for the come up. So that's what I'm saying. The real money fucking weasels out. It's the media money that always gets screwed. Fucking Jeff Bezos. He's got the worst one. I know.

The whole time I've been saying this point, Bezos was sticking out of my mind as the exception. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I know what you mean. Yeah, yeah. The thing is, no scenario where Jeff Bezos

is starting from scratch, whereas there are guys who make a quarter million who are like, yeah. Okay, but Bezos still didn't give her half. Did he actually just give her straight up half down the middle? I think she got like half, yeah. Like somewhere in that ballpark. Well, Bezos, does he not have a

he needs a better lawyer. Because I feel like there's guys that have got a better deal. But anyways, it's like all this stuff sort of usually, you know, you always kind of mention the healthcare thing or whatever, but like even the taxes, like it screws over like the almost rich. It's like the almost rich is like where you really fucking for sure once you switch

over to like you're rich rich it's like all those guys like they don't even fucking have cash they take out loans on their insurance policies and all their stocks and stuff you yeah you basically take a loan against your money and then you pay right off the interest or whatever it is and you're you know they're never cash like you know, they're never cash. Like, you know, so a lot of these. Yeah, they're never super liquid like that. Yeah, so it's the middle people that get screwed. Always. So the other one.

So that was the. And then the next win for the boys is that people are selling AI-generated nudes on Reddit. And they look crazy real. Like, I don't know if you've seen them. Yeah. So. And basically, there's a bunch of dudes that are, like, coming publicly and, like, not happy that my product, I found out that it was

Fake you know what I mean I mean that's a win and a loss For the boys though because it's a win for the boys selling them But a loss for the boys buying them well this is Where I'm saying it's a win so maybe We can live in our own narratives but in my Opinion you have a situation Where OnlyFans is now going to be Run by dudes it is

No it's already but like even the Girls are going to get put out of business like OnlyFans is going to be guys by dudes. It is! No, it's already, but even the girls are going to get put out of business. Oh, yeah. OnlyFans is going to be guys buying fake photos of girls from dudes. He's open. You are right, though, that a lot of...

Behind every one of these, like, you know, party girls that has an OnlyFans, there's some, like, you know, Saudi Arabian dude. Yeah, I mean, like... With a marketing agency. If you're chatting with the girl,

you go, oh, I actually get to talk to her. You go, you ain't talking to her. That's the servant, but I'm saying that there's guys that are sort of running the whole operation. Yeah, yeah, that too. But now even more so. So it's basically dudes,

because one thing you've said has been like, it's unfair that, you know, you've said this personally, you said it's unfair that girls get to start OnlyFans, but where's my OnlyFans? Like, I couldn't just start an OnlyFans. Yeah, it's just unfair. So that's what right now, like, dudes can start an OnlyFans, but where's my OnlyFans? I couldn't just start an OnlyFans. It's just unfair. So that's what right

now, dudes can start an OnlyFans, and you don't have to show your titties. You just show a fake girl's titties. See, I prefer doing it the old-fashioned way, where you find a kind of under-the-radar OnlyFans girl, and then you just do the marketing, and then basically when people ask you

from your fake one, you just go request those videos from her and middleman it. You start a fake OnlyFans with a girl that has no subscribers, but you're better at marketing it. No, you just have an eye for talent, and she has a problem with marketing. So you go, that could be a top earner. And what do you give her, 2%?

You just subscribe to her OnlyFans. And then you start a different site. You don't give her any percentage. You start a different site. You subscribe to hers, and then you start your own OnlyFans pretending to be her. Now we're talking. Yeah. So anyways, that's a big win for dudes that are in that game.

You're right. It is a bit of a small loss for fucking dudes that are buying it. But those guys, you know. I mean, I will say that they were going to get rinsed by a real woman. Listen, if the guy's doing a good job making the fakes, what do you care? Really? Is it really that much better? It's not your girlfriend anyway.

It's like, is it that much better knowing it's a real person? I guess so. But it's like, if the guy's doing a good job, then what do you just... None of your business. I'm actually retracting because I think it is a win for the boys. Because you know how black people are like, you want to keep the money in the community? This is keeping the money within the boys. It's keeping the money in the community.

It's boys paying boys. Like Jewish people do. Yeah, exactly. It was like, we're just... Sorry, ladies. It's keeping the money in the community. It's boys paying boys. Like Jewish people do. Yeah, exactly. It was like, we're just, sorry, ladies. So that's what sort of it is. It's keeping the money in the community. In the boys' community. That's a win for the boys.

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Go to nextdevo.com slash boyscast to get 20% off your first order of $40 or more. That's 20% off $40 or more at nextdevo.com slash boyscast. Okay, there's this mother, right? That we found on your tango. That's probably maybe the craziest one ever.

So I don't know if we'll do the second article, but just the type of article she's writing. Seven ways to not raise a little rapist. This is the craziest one ever so I don't know if we'll do the second article but just the type of article she's writing seven ways to not raise a little rapist this is the first one yeah and this is the same we'll do the second one first but this is the type of story she wrote so same woman wrote this same

article and she goes seven reasons I strongly encourage my son to wear sparkly nail polish so this is a fan favorite of the boys, guys, where we find the wackiest parents that are voicing their kids. But she's got... So a bit of insight on this lady is those are the kind of articles that she's been writing.

I know you like to do the deep dives. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I actually didn't look into her. Elizabeth Broadbent. So Elizabeth Broadbent is up to some wacky stuff. She's got this son right and most of her articles are like you know you know how to not make my son a rapist like why my son's gonna be gay why i'm making my son sparkly nail polish why i'm transing my infant like this is the kind of

stuff she's up to right and then she goes here's seven lessons i strongly encourage to my son to wear sparkly nail polish and he's so these are the reasons why it's great and it is funny because it's like if you are those if you go it's one thing if your son's like hey i want to wear nail polish but to be like hey let's you know pop it on of course yeah like if your kid is like hey now give me your hands like there's one thing if you're putting your nail polish on and then your gay son comes i I would like some too. I don't want to taste it. You know, just like, that's how it happened all throughout history.

Yeah. Right. Is that your gay son would be like, I want to have a little bit of the action. I would like this too, mom. And then you'd be like, oh, here you go. Do you like that? Right. And he goes, yes.

And you go, ah. But she's honestly, it's the opposite. She keeps doing her nails in front of him and she's like, are you not going to ask? Like, what's going on here? You want to like put down your video game controller and find out what your mother's doing right now what the fuck's going on here and it is funny because like it's obviously and i get the the like sort of rock and roll nail polish guy uh that's almost like not that crazy right now like there's rappers right now that wear nail polish right so there's the first part of it where it's like this thing

that you're that that like kind of like wearing like black nail polish. So there's the first part of it where it's like this thing that you're wearing black nail polish is a fairly common style that a lot of pussy crusher dudes wear. You know what I mean? So it's not even at all that crazy. But the truth is, that's why she goes, it has to be sparkly.

So she's turning it sparkly. And then on top of that, you're just like, well, is your son that dude? It's a very different feeling. You're like, is your son like a nerdy dude? And you're like, you know what? I'll fucking send him to school where he nail a polish. But it's like a five-year-old.

She's doing this. She literally says she has a one, a three, and a five-year-old. Well, she probably makes them put the hands there together, and she sort of does one at the same time. Just takes a big one. She has a roller. Just like. This is what happens when you have a mom that doesn't have. probably doesn't like like she has her blogging job right so she's

working from home she's just sitting at home all day and then she's just projecting her entire fucking you know life onto her for kids yeah slash this is what happens when your mom is a blogger they're always on the cut on the lookout for new blog content yeah Yeah, exactly. Why I'm making my son deep throat a dildo. Yeah, you're like, I don't know. It seems like a good idea. It seems like the ladies over at Your Tango would like that. There's another good one. So this is stepping away from that.

There's this guy, Brent Henrick, right? He's Brent Henrick, pro-choice, and he's like, you know, some guy that ran for like some position somewhere. He goes, Amber and I have compiled the true emergency kit for Brianna and her friends plan B condoms pregnancy tests and just found out that I can

add Narcan to that kit for free so and he's going on about how he has it for any time his friends his daughter's friends come over he makes them know that the kit's available it's like that's the kind of thing that like the other girl's dad comes and kicks

the shit out of you yeah you're not allowed to go over to the house that's encouraging use of fucking fentanyl I mean I understand the Narcan maybe to the degree

to where you're like his daughter's 12 yeah oh okay you're like alright but I just love the idea can you imagine like you sent your daughter goes over

to your guy's house and then she comes back she's like oh yeah Brianne's dad gave me a bunch of condoms. She's like, what? You call it, what the fuck are you giving my daughter condoms for? And she goes, hey, it's an exclusive. Hey, stop being a fuddy-duddy, man. I think it'd be nice.

Who do you think you are? You're my daughter condoms? Like, in a dildo? You go, hey, you're a 12 now. They're going to start exploring their bodies. You could choose to just bury your head in the sand, or you go they're gonna start exploring their bodies you could choose to just bury your head in the sand or you could live in reality your daughter's gonna be touching your vagina you can be part of that or not part of it yeah we're both not gonna be part of it

we got pregnancy tests checking if you're pregnant it's like i'm not just constantly checking if you're 12 years old you year old that's a fucking decision I don't know what else was on the list? plan B, Narcan plan B, Narcan, condoms, lube lube so this is what this guy's up to this is the classic cool

that's the house you go over to get drunk at their house I know but it's funny to be like the I'm cool parent, but sort of, it's like they're mixing the I'm cool parent with I'm doing the right thing parent. It's like they've got sort of a good mix of the two. You know what I mean? Like, Noggin's the one where I go like, yeah, you don't want people to die, I guess, if your kids are, if you have that type of kid who's like, you think they're going to be

doing like Coke when they're 12, that might be laced, I guess. You have to explain to them. Yeah. You probably, most of them, you have to explain to them what Coke is and then explain to them. For sure. I mean, you know,

your kid needs NAR, like, you know, the type of kid that needs a fucking NAR fan around. Probably the type of kid who has this dad. Probably. And then you don't want your. Rather you do the fentanyl with me.

Yeah. And then you're like, I don't want you hanging out with the, that family. It's funny. The dad being like, you'd rather smoke weed with me. And none of them want

to the dad's like yeah more for me he's just like sitting in the room he's like just tell me if you guys want some he's you sure you guys don't want to hit i'd rather you do it here i'd rather listen it's good shit it's good shit that i'd rather you do here. So these are the reasons. For the nail polish for his son. He's expressing his self-identity. My son isn't letting society tell him how he should be. He's letting his mom tell him how he should be. I feel like it's not... I don't ever think about it this way,

but I don't think that the reason I don't wear nail polish is because of society. Right. You know what I mean? I don't think it's reason I don't wear nail polish is because of society. Right. You know what I mean? Like, I don't, I don't think it's society that's holding. Well,

this is the thing that it's like the whole thing that drives me nuts or whatever, because you go, the reason that dudes who wear nail, like dudes who would like put on nail polish to be like, to make like some statement. Yeah. The most of the time you'd be doing it because it's not acceptable.

As soon as it's like all dudes wear a nail polish then it's not cool it's not of course yeah you're not doing the thing anymore right it's like if every like it's literally you know you have a mohawk and then your parents both come up with a mohawk and you go to school everyone has a mohawk and you go okay well this isn't i if you can see yourself as a type of guy that wants to make a statement then the statement is the opposite yeah i gotta have two mohawks or whatever yeah or then you i mean like the whole like you know norm core and stuff is they're like oh yeah i'm gonna it's it's a reaction it's a reaction like i'm gonna freak people out and dress like my grandpa that's the whole thing with like every culture always is

like the reaction to the culture like right before right yeah and it's like that's why it is kind of interesting with like to watch even when i watch like rappers it's always kind of like you know like odd future yeah it's a big like coachella thing right now right where frank ocean is like uh he was from odd future and then he's he was the basically the headliner this year and then so he showed up and then he goes he didn't want to he didn't want to go on stage so he basically was like i don't even want to do it and then he went up and he just lip-synced the songs. And they put Spotify. And they were supposed to have an ice rink with all these people dancing behind him.

And he said he didn't want it. So they took time to melt the ice. And then he went on. Why didn't he want to perform at Coachella? Well, there's different. So he basically put out a press release one way or the other through his friends. Being like, he was so depressed about his brother dying three years ago. And this is a big part.

So this is my theory. He wants people to know that he's like a tortured artist. You know what I mean? So in his mind, he likes the, I think that I never take like most people like this at face value. Like, I think he wants people to see what he himself is like.

I'm such a tortured guy. Right. It's not. Yeah. Whereas people are just seeing it as like, he puts a lot of importance on the lore of Frank Ocean. I think so. Yeah. But I don't think it as like, he, he, it puts a lot of importance on the lore of Frank Ocean. I think so. Yeah.

But I don't think it's like working that good, but I think the reason I'm saying this is like that, like sort of 20, like odd future was very like a 21 year old. It's almost like punk rock of rap where it's like punk rock was very like all these guys, it was rock music was getting very technical and it was like, who's actually good at guitar mattered, you know sort of like rap and then like punk was a little

bit like it doesn't matter if you're good this is like not about that and then the older generation is like oh these guys can't even play and they're like yeah that's kind of the point where like these crazy 20 year olds that are like troublemakers or whatever right and odd future was that we're like yeah we're kind of making these like silly rap songs and putting out these like half-assed videos and that's kind of like allure. But that only works good when you're 21. The same is like... You know what I mean? That's a phase.

It has a time and place. So all of these guys that were the simple reaction, you either go one of two ways. It's like the rappers that always eventually have to become like, I'm very serious either go like funny or like i'm so serious and i care about the craft and i know every rapper and i knew this or you go i'm a depressed guy you

go like and that's what the musicians a lot of times they go full emo where it's like you know almost like trent resner a little bit where it's like almost you try to create this mystique where you're just sort of around it's a good no one really cares what you did lately you make a lot of soundtracks you seem to be in the mix nothing you've really done is that culturally relevant but you seem to be in the mix still because you're sort of this enigma weird guy and i think that what happened is is a lot of these kind of guys are going for that like okay the wild crazy guy things like i'm getting too old for that so i need to be the like mist and i know he was like the gay one so he wasn't totally that he was a little emo to begin with but there's like he's like i'm getting too old for that so i need to be the like missed and i know he was like the gay one so he wasn't totally that he was a little emo to begin with but there's like he's

like i'm the i'm the like weird tortured guy so they have to be that right do you think he's like ari spears where he goes like i can be the only weird tortured guy on the show i think he goes whoa whoa what there's another weird torture guy on the show are you kidding me ari spears didn't want another black comics on the show but yeah so that's? Ari Spears didn't want any other black comics on the show. But yeah, so that's what happens. If you're the kid that's like, you know, I'm going to be the weird tortured kid and then your parents come home and they're like, dad's

tortured right now. And then mom's lying on the couch. She goes, I can't even make dinner in my existential dread. The kid's like, you know what? I'm going to get a job. Yeah, I think I want to be an accountant. Right. Looks pretty good to me right now. This is what's happening on a grand scale the mom's coming home and she's like you know uh you're a i'm a woman and i'm gonna wear a freaking tool belt and you're a man and you're gonna wear nail polish and that's how our house operates and

the kid's like you know i'll probably he either goes one of two ways either you're like a little bitch that just does whatever your mom wants, in which case you're going to be not equipped to deal with this at school if you show up and you're telling everyone about your nail polish. Or the other way is you're going to be a guy that can stand up to people that are different from you, and you're going to want to do the different thing of your mom because she's going to ruin it for you.

Yes, yes, exactly. That's very well said. Yeah, it's not going to work. So her first thing is it helps him assure his self-identity which it doesn't because it just helps him he doesn't know his identity he doesn't he has no idea he's three i mean there's a one three and a five-year-old two of them are not even making memories at this moment so they have no identity he's just an infant with his they eat and they shit that's their identity well this is like almost that. Five is you're like, okay.

Ten years ago, you would have said this is like child abuse where you go, it's like the dad that has a girl that forces him to be a tomboy. Essentially, this is the mom version where it's like you have a normal son and you're trying to force him to be essentially like a gay boy. Yeah. She goes, he'll always be the boy who wore sparkly nail polish around the playground and he was completely his own person. So she's like got this whole narrative where he's basically going to school and he's got the nail polish on.

Yeah, he's totally his own person as he's crying as I'm applying nail polish to him. They're like, please, mom, stop. You are your own person. Now sit still. It's also a lot of this stuff, too, is like it really is like women have no idea what it's like to be a man, too. Because it's like, she's like, and the other kids will accept it more. And it's like, I'm telling you they won't. And it was like, there's nothing worse than a mom telling her boy how to be a man by giving him advice on how to be a woman.

Which is what, I mean, that's what she thinks a man should be. So let me tell you about dating What you want to do is you're going to put on your best outfit And you just sort of wait around Make them bring you flowers Have them hold the door for you Make sure when you're with the girl Don't give it up too easy

Give it up? He's like I'm five I'm five huh? Now when you're pulling out the schlong He's doing what he likes. He's not letting an increasingly gendered child culture dictate his likes and dislikes. Sparkles make him happy. Well, it's like, yes, because at that age, like, whatever

you're, like, if your dad likes football, then you're gonna like football. It's like, you kind of just do whatever your parents tell you to do. Like, this is, the baby wants whatever his oldest brother has, but my middle son contemplates the nail polish cabinet. You're talking about a one and a three-year-old. Yeah.

They don't know what a nail polish cabinet is. They don't know what nails are or polish or cabinets. They don't know any of these things. They're learning shapes and stuff at this point. They don't know color. It's such a fucking... The more so is the dad's probably just happy. Well, he's probably a wacko too, so it's like the dad's probably just happy. Well,

he's probably a wacko too, but it's like the dating that mom, you're just like, okay, you do just polish the kids up. Leave me alone. Like, you know what I mean?

No, he's like in the basement just sniffing that shit being like, Oh, he's probably just so happy. She hasn't fucking decided she's a they, them yet. You know what I mean? Yeah.

That's, that's just a matter of when, 100% a matter of when, when she runs into nail polish articles 100% she's got a non-binary article Coming real soon She gets so jealous when she sees other bloggers Writing articles like why my husband couldn't accept

That I'm non-binary she's like fuck that'd be nice Yeah that was an option? Shit I'll tell you what she's one article getting a lot of clicks Away from denouncing her gender I mean I wish we could have some sort of should we like set an alert for ourselves for like one year from today? Go check check back. See if she's a boy now. She's oh, yeah, you know what I mean? Like just set an alarm for a You just like see one it was like why as a mother I'm making my three sons and then the next article a year later

It's like as a mother, I'm making my three sons. And then the next article a year later is like, as a dad, my three daughters. Why, as a dad, why I'm making my three daughters join baseball. She goes full the other way. Probably. He's exercising his bodily integrity, his body, his choice. So it's sort of funny when you're like at school with a sparkly nail polish and everyone's like he's got the sandals on toes done too and the other kids are like fucking look at jeremy he's got the fucking nail polish on and he goes my body my choice as

he's getting as he's getting like wedgie i guess if he goes to some like nerdy art school that might be fine you if he goes to an art school this stuff might be a little more acceptable or if he goes full musician guy, you know what I mean? But that stuff's probably a little harder to pull off at six. Yeah. They're putting you in the lost and found box and sitting on it, and you're just poking his hands through.

My body, my choice. These are my nails. A blogger, a female blogger is... Imagine telling a guy that's beating you up in high school to fucking my body, my choice. Your body, my nails. Blogger, female blogger is... Imagine telling a guy that's beating you up in high school, like, my body, my choice. Your body, my choice. This is my bodily autonomy. Stop. No.

I'm going to be a no on that. Here's a good one from her. This is an oldie. Everyone's too nice to tell you, but your baby is actually ugly. What the fuck? She's gone through some phases then. Oh, of course. She used to be,

she was going for like a batch. She was like, her original persona was like, I'm just a batch. No, no, she's, yeah, yeah. She's like all over, you know, as always, all over the place. She's gone through a few phases of her own. Because you don't know who she is as a blogger, you know?

That's what, she's trying this on for size. She's going all in out of the gate. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, she went, yeah, because first she was just like, fuck you, your baby's ugly. I don't give a shit. Why I mean? Like, yeah, she went. Yeah. Cause first she was just like, fuck you. Your baby's ugly.

I don't give a shit. Why? I'm not talking. Why? I don't go on and go to your wedding and I don't give a shit. Like the fucking just like, yeah. So the sassy woman. Then she went to like, yeah.

Why? I'm making my son wear a blonde wig. That is communion. She does this one. Worse than coddling. 12 ways. America treats kids like subhumans. Oh, I mean, they treat them like kids.

I guess she's sort of doing a thing where she's like, in my kid's household, they run the household. Yeah, they do whatever they want. They give me a bedtime. In my house, the kids pick the bedtime, and they also pick my bedtime. I think we maybe did this. Why I'm writing this article from my bed

because my kid told me my curfew was up. Why my kid hasn't allowed me to eat dinner because I touched his toys. I breastfeed my baby. I breastfeed my baby dot dot dot. And his three year old brother at the same time. That's not true is it? That's hers. Stop.

It is. Oh here's a good one. Oh here's a good one. Psych med saved me from clinical depression, and I'm not ashamed. Psych meds. She's just fucking popping psych meds, standing in the middle of a crowded bus shelter with one baby on each tits, and a three-year-old. The kids got fucking painted nails and a mohawk sucking on her titty.

And then there's the coup de grace. Okay, what's the coup de grace? Why I feel guilty about being a white mother. That kids are going to be feeling that one. I think we covered that one maybe once upon a time. She probably feels so guilty, too. Dude, we like owe your tango money. Your tango fucking rules, dude.

This is my body. You always find like that one linchpin one where you go like the psych meds one. You always find one that ties it together. Exactly. Literally, it's always like why I'm happier than ever in the articles right after. It's just like why There's nothing wrong with trying to commit suicide

Well I mean trying to commit suicide Was just a cry for help Yeah and then the next one's like Well I'm actually happy I don't care who has That's crazy though to be like Hey why I need to take psych medication And the next one's like Why my son's being forced to wear sparkly nail polish

Oh here's a good one I knew the risks I knew the risks when I took drugs during my pregnancy anyways. That's not it. You're lying. I swear. That was the side fence though I think is what she was thinking of. Holy shit

Yeah Well she was I guess the risk was She was There's a risk That my kid's not gonna wear The nail polish that I want him to Yeah

He's bucking gender norms So there it is There we get the real reason He's not doing anything He's three But it's also funny being like My son's bucking gender norms It's like okay

But if he doesn't want to be trans Why does he have to buck gender norms It, why does he have to buck gender norms? It's like, you only have to buck gender norms if you think you're going to be trans. If he's just going to be a normal, straight dude, why does he have to buck gender norms? Why? Why doesn't your husband buck gender norms?

Having sparkly nails lets him question those norms. So she wants him to question things really, really young. He rises above the gender dichotomy. Children are force-fed. It's like, which one of these two things, like, what do you think's being more force-fed? Like, what she's doing, or like Or playing with trucks. Or like a child's natural propensity

to want to play with, like, a truck. We were saying who's force-feeding here. I think it's pretty obvious which of the two that's force-feeding. Force-feeding your four-year-old kid a fucking titty. Yeah, and then the other one a titty as well. The nail polish is one way to show him to question outdated gender norms. No matter what society thinks. This kid's going to be in a fucking dress on the bus in no time.

All three of them are. Should adopt them. Why I send my kids to school in a bra with two oranges in the breast slots balloons under their shirt and no it was not halloween good stuff i like i remember back in the good old days when people would uh four years ago people would abuse their kids but they'd keep it to themselves generally the abuse it stayed in the home people would think they would think i think something's bad's happening at that house remember and then now people are like i'm gonna chronicle me abusing my kids it is so crazy like

this is it is one of those things the dad might be explaining it like probably encouraging it because when he's going for the custody battle and he wants to get the kids he just literally like does a slideshow of all our articles in order yeah why i drank during the kids yeah why i fucking he could easily be already gone too though he might be yeah this could be i mean she doesn't have one thing about the husband like my husband's a piece of shit nothing so first of all she probably he might have he might have left after her article came out why i call my husband my wife. Why I'm demanding my husband refer to himself as my wife.

Why I now realize that our first child was actually a product of rape. What? Yeah, he comes down. Honey, can we talk about this? He goes, I got called into my manager's office at work because you said I raped you? That's where Charlie came from? Yeah, just taking a peek at this new article.

Honey, congratulations, really. I'm glad that you didn't bring in 20 bucks. That's something. Independent blogger, but it's really fucking up my income. Yes, you raped me. And also, I'd like you to wear a dress. And he goes, okay, um... Yeah, all sex

is rape, honey. Yeah, I don't think I'm going to be doing the dress, but, again, you might maybe give my old manager a little ring-a-roo, tell her that that wasn't true. Just clear it up, maybe. Clear the air a little bit. I feel like this might affect the kids. Getting some pretty bad looks down there at the plant.

It's always funnier if they work at a plant. No, it's the best. So they don't know what blogging is at the plant. Why my son has to drink a cup of cum a day. So this is the other one. She goes, another benefit is she goes, he knows that adults aren't always right. So it's like sort of teaching your kids that like, just because your mom tells you something, it isn't right. So she's really weird mixed message.

You know what it is? It sort of is a little bit of like a girl that has like a fantasy of the bad boy. If you actually boil it deep, like she can't, like she pictures her son, like wearing the sparkly nail polish, walking down the halls, like, and the bullies come up like, hey, pussy, you guys feel posh? You go, I'm the pussy? Maybe you should think about gender norms. And everyone like sort of cheers for him, you know what I mean? And then he walks down the hall,

the teacher tells him his test's wrong, and he goes, hey, you got this answer wrong. And he goes, or did you get this answer wrong because of your white privilege? And everyone goes, Corey, Corey, Corey, Corey. You know what, actually, if you could guarantee that culturally things would stay the same, then you actually are setting your kids up for a better future in a way

because they do want to be playing all these dumb games to succeed in the future. But the problem is by the time they're kids. It's already on its way out. That's what I'm saying. They're like, I'm non-binary. And you're like, yeah, nobody gives a shit. That's 20 years ago. No, they sort of got wise for it.

I'm not hiring you for that. I mean, they still are for lots of stuff, though. Like, lots of the arts. And I don't know if you saw the Canadian Screen Awards. But, you know, if this was your mom 20 years ago in Canada, you're probably, like, thanking them when you accept your award at the Canadian Screen Awards. Yeah.

For best trans, two-spirit, native. Yeah, I love it. All right. You know that phrase where they say that like um someone said this but i thought it was a good way to describe like culture stuff where they're like basically they already like sort of won the war so they were shooting the survivors because it was kind of like you won the thing where it's like everyone sort of agrees racism's bad it's the worst thing to be called and it's like that's a win they're like well what next it was like you can sort of walk around like reprimand people but you already sort of got what you wanted so that went too far and then i think that probably that's the there's some

some degree it's already happening where it's like most normal people we know i don't think i know any normal dude that wouldn't agree like yeah it's obviously uh like uh being like a being like a man transitioning to a woman's better at basketball. Yeah. Even the ones that were sort of like. But then you'd be like, okay, hold on, let me just press record. Now say that. And you go, I don't really want to. Right.

But I think nowadays that's not true. I think that really on the, I don't think anyone's afraid to say that one anymore. This dude, Andrew Bogut, who plays, he used to be in the NBA. I follow him on. Depends on what your job is and where you live, I guess. He's a retired NBA player, and they're in Australia. They're having a... It's kind of a first, actually. They are having a trans woman play with women basketball, which they've done all these...

How tall? I think pretty tall. Not like seven feet or whatever. In the Australian League? In the Australian League. And he's just like, yeah, this is crazy. And then he got absolutely pil piled on and then someone in the internet and then some civilian dude who's like not in any of the stuff who works in like basketball was like

just like this is kind of maybe we should be cautious about this and then they're like this guy needs to be fired like all that stuff so how long ago was that it's like in the last couple months it's okay recently yeah well i think that there's got to be like it's almost like the you know like politicians really right now are sort of just like listen to like the most extreme people in their party and they sort of just put that into policy i guess you know what i mean but like there's it feels to me like there's an increasingly large percentage of normal people. Do you know even any women, really? I think I do.

But I think even most of the women I know would think that men transitioning to women and playing in the WNBA is crazy. Yeah. Again, if they're not involved, any reasonable person, obviously, but some people are not reasonable. Some people are so caught up in the... I think the spells worn off a little bit, but maybe you're right. Yeah.

I mean, definitely way more women than men think that, which is funny. What were the repercussions to Bogut? Like, he loses a few things? No, they just call him right wing. Bud Light got pretty tuned up for trying to do, you know. Yeah. No, for him, he's um i know for him he's retired i mean he's probably career earnings over 100 million dollars he's like retired he won an

nba championship he's just he's a commentator guy on twitter now and he has a podcast about basketball so not really yeah but uh i mean just people talk shit about him call him right wing because he's like i don't think he's like i'm not right wing he's like i just don't think women men should play with women other countries are behind america though but for three or four years you have to remember that yeah i mean he is from the country of the rubber chicken comedy club so well like literally if you think of like canada like their speeches right now it's like you know even like taking government money to pay for all this stuff like it is like it is a bit of like a clown show over these countries right because they're just like they're a lot of these countries turn into like if fucking portland got to be a country yeah it's just like women run 100 well

that's why they need the men in burkas that's that is the ultimate payback because it's like women run and then that that is really like one of the ultimate kind of like, just like breaking their whole system, because you go, well, if you love women, then you love a woman in a burqa. Yeah, you must really love a woman in a burqa. Yeah, and double points if they sound like a man. I've been saying this a bit on stage,

that probably if women were in charge, they probably wouldn't be any, if women ran stuff, there wouldn't be any more wars, because there'd be no money to fund the army. Women mean shopping. be any more if women ran stuff there wouldn't be any more wars because there'd be no money to fund the army uh women be shopping women be shopping okay so i don't know if you heard about this but men with small balls have bigger hearts i don't know if you ever this small ball men's have bigger hearts so apparently men with small balls are known to have bigger hearts. And this is literally like the smaller testes. I know. Yeah. So you're probably

big hearted. I'm, uh, no, I got it right. No! Ryan's just got a black void in there based on... I've actually, that's the thing. I was actually arguing with Corinne about that the other day, because she was sort of saying that I'm emotionally stunted. It's the

balls. We're finding out. No, but I think she's wrong, because a lot of she was sort of saying that i'm emotionally stunted and i was it's the balls that's we're finding out but like i would know but i think she's wrong because a lot of times girls sort of have this opinion that i think some of it's just like a man versus a female but a lot of times women have an opinion if like a man's not like very like emotionally like attached all the time yeah that like that's something like wrong with them but you're like or it's like a choice that you've made to be able to accomplish what you want to accomplish. You know what I mean? Yeah, of course.

You're like, I don't let my emotions run the show. What's the opposite of stunted? Because then if you're emotionally stunted, then women are like Andre the Giant. Well, but like, okay. So imagine even when you start doing stand-up or whatever, right? Like a bad set affects you, right? Of course.

And then you sort of train yourself in a way that you can like take the information from that bad set without being like so fucking emotionally messed up you know what i mean like let's say you know someone when you're young and you really want this job or a girl breaks up with you it's like it's going to like affect you way more and then you sort of know how to deal with it then a lot of what makes people like screwed up over events even is the idea that like you kind of don't know what the like uh like not knowing what all the potential outcomes are you know what i mean yeah whereas like once you've been through it you're like okay worst case it's this like even that's how like psychologists walk people through not being so

like melodramatic it's like okay let's just figure out what's the worst case that happens here you know what i mean so i think in this case a lot lot of times it's like males are just like more stoic. But a lot of times you like lean into that because you're like, yeah, it benefits you more. You find in your whole life, you go, all the times that I was like an emotional mess were like the worst ones. Didn't help me in any way. So yeah, you go, I was not emotional stunted. If anything, it's just like you uh in charge of your own fucking body it's your body of course i mean that's like chicks also romanticize you know when like left eye from tlc like burned down that dude's

house she'll lit the bathtub on fire because they were having like a bad bad argument or something and andre ryzen okay i think it's and rising and she like literally burned down his house and chicks are like i love that she's so in touch with herself that's not good this is the most in touch with her yeah she goes yeah like you're using her as like an example of what you should you know that's yeah because let her really let her emotions run the show like cops coming in and being like yeah this woman's really in touch with her emotions were on the show. It's good to have cops coming in and being like, man, this woman's really in touch with her emotions. It's like, hey, what's that? That's a good term for crazy. You go, hey, I started dating this girl. I know you're friends with her. What do you think?

You go, let's just say she's in touch with her emotions. Wink, wink, wink. Say no more, fam. Say no more. Let's just say this girl is pretty tapped into that emotional vein. I mean, obviously, there's some sort of in-between that's ideal. Yeah, of course.

There's a balance might be fine. But again, though, that depends too, right? Because there's always that all scenario. A lot of people try to do all the scenarios at once because the real part of it, you go, does this benefit you or not? It depends on what you're doing. If you're trying to be a professional athlete,

probably being crazy, that level of what you need or if you're like a trait like a top of the line like hedge fund trader yeah the level that you have your emotions affect you you want that to be lower than if you were minimal yeah like the best athletes are like no emotions yeah to be honest like what we do i actually probably am more tapped into stuff than i have to that i would like if you want to be like some sort of like an artist you need to almost be like sensitive to like people's feelings and like audiences yeah for sure so to be honest you have to be like sort of tapped into that whole thing less than it actually benefits you it's actually that's why a lot of

times like you know being a artist is like so bad for people because it like or jobs like that it forces you to be so fucking like like open up those sensors more than you like want to you know what I mean whereas like you know there is like a happiness and like being a guy that's like

yeah I'm just not like tapped in like if people are like upset around me I can just ignore it you know what I mean whereas like if you some of these jobs to be good at it

you sort of have to not be able to ignore it you have to be like sort of tapped into it for sure yeah yeah I actually forgot it in Saratoga Springs after my set some of these jobs, to be good at it, you sort of have to not be able to ignore it. You have to be like sort of tapped into it. For sure. Yeah. Yeah. I actually forgot it in Saratoga Springs after my set. This girl followed me into the green room because she didn't like one of my jokes.

That's how you get that old Danny back. I totally forgot about that until you were saying that. Okay, let me just ask a quick question before you tell me what happened. After she left, did you then go into the closet and then go on your leather jacket and then put it back on? The boys are backing down. It's like the A-team with the locker.

You go, all of a sudden, a little curl comes down. You start smoking again. Oh, yeah. It was good stuff. It was so crazy, too. Like, the show had been over for 10 seconds. Danny, aren't you going to be doing your meet and greet today? You go, nah, I'm not doing that anymore. And he goes, what?

All the fans are there. Is there anything you want us to tell them? And you go, you can tell them to fuck off. You can tell them to fuck off. Cigarette right on my tongue tongue then you walk off and take off on your bike with a belt three-wheeler a girl followed you into the green room like like immediately after like and the show was like great it was like a great show and she was the the whole weirdest part was she was loving her and her boyfriend were sitting up front and they

were like loving the whole show and i was like i'm talking to them and like it was great and then the last joke i said the word retard that's what did it and the very last joke i'm like i'll say all sorts of shit did you tell her that i can do that because i am that and then the show and then i literally get off stage walking in the green room and it was like really hot so i was like sweating like crazy i go sit down and right when I sit down, she's there and I go, oh, hey, like thinking she wanted to say, like, great show or something. No, she walks in, she was like,

and you go, alright, you can suck it, but make it quick. Alright, listen, you can suck it, but make it quick. I got a fucking nine o'clock coming through. Oh, hello. This is show business, anyways. Oh, hello. I guess it's show business anyways. Oh, hello.

A zip. She goes, that last joke you told? My brother has Down Syndrome. She's crying? Not crying, but she looked like she was mad. She goes, my brother has Down Syndrome. I go, I didn't mention people with Down Syndrome.

And then what she says, well, so you know, it's not cool. Say that, and you might want to not do that joke ever again. And I go. That's the point when you flipped out your flip comb. Stead comb in your hair. And I go, okay. Then what happened? You just did their auger.

And then the manager came in then you go you have the sharpie in your hand ready to sign the tits and you go so we're signing them or not you're more of an ass do you want me to make that to him and then the manager came in and fucking dragged her out yeah because like he's like oh sorry he's like i didn't realize that's when you're in your bad boy mind too you go to the guy you go what the fuck that ever happens again i'll make sure this is comedy club shuts down by the end of the day i can make sure you never run a comedy business ever again motherfucker and i get that like no no no no with the glasses i forgot about that that is wild yeah well a group of scientists decided to get together and study balls. Men between the ages of 21 and 55 of varying ethnicities and all their fathers of toddler-aged kids were subjected to ball sizing and nurturing tendencies.

And basically the whole gist of the study is dudes that have small balls are more nurturing to the kids. Because basically, this is the whole premise. They're basically saying guys like me that have big ones. Yeah, fuck them kids. Yeah, they walk, the kid's like, hey dad. And you go, just like, hey dad, I have 8-8 today. You go, see what that is right there? That's a fucking set, kid.

Yeah. Do I look like your fucking mother, kid? Spend for yourself. Hey, I get it. You might look like two titties, do you? That's a fucking set You know, you'll have one when you grow up Probably not

With this little So then they're saying guys that have little measles I can't fucking believe this I don't think anyone makes a big difference between their balls It's also a small sample size And then also I can't believe that's someone's job They said that the guys are less hands on

The guys with big balls. They aren't exactly jumping off the couch mid-football game to bathe or feed their kid. So they're sort of making the premise that there's something to do with the chemicals, whereas guys who have big balls have all this testosterone running through them kind of thing or something. Because I don't think what they're positing is the guys are so embarrassed about their small balls that the girl's like, do you want to make dinner you're like no i should probably no i just do like they're compensating for the small balls exactly great fathers yeah exactly but they're also being great mothers too like they're basically you know i mean

taking care of the kid every which way because they're just like you know they look in the mirror every day and they go you're a fucking ballless man you're nothing get in that kitchen put your apron on you little fucking woman i can't believe there's someone's job they're doing this study the study the ball study it could have potentially been like a psyop for like some fucking pervert to just feel a lot of balls are you sure this is part of the study you want the five bucks or not it's like can you stop making noises when you do the things like buddy? I'm a professional Buddy I stop stop moving. I'm a professional You can just stop moving we could get through this but every time you move I have to start again Do you really have to make the noises?

I went to medical school to not be told some small-ball motherfucker how to do my job, okay? This is the kind of study where you rip the thing off a phone pole. Oh yeah, you're doing this study in the back of a friggin' Baskin Robbins, dude. This study's taking place in the wheelchair bathroom in a coffee time. Shadow coffee time.

Shadow coffee time. The study one, the coffee time, if people don't know, it was basically the Dunkin' Donuts, but it was like 90% of coffee. No, it was lower than Dunkin' Donuts. No, no, I'm saying that's the lowest one they have here, but this was 10 times lower. Yeah. And basically every bathroom was you couldn't go into the bathroom without like nine people

doing heroin. Yeah. And then it got so bad that they started being 24 hours, but they wouldn't let people come in because only people came in to do heroin. So they you basically it's like imagine like a Dunkin Donuts, but you have to go to a window to get your food and you couldn't come in like a certain hours in the night. And it's just like, just like it was just like all it was like every criminal in fucking

the world basically. Yeah. They were rough. And there were yeah regulars that essentially would sleep at Dunkin Donuts. There'd be people like sleeping. It was like the subway times fucking 20. And it was really just bad bad products. The study wanted to examine the evolutionary theory of animals

that are made for breeding or nurturing. And basically, this is the thing they're saying. So they're saying that I'm less nurturing. Yeah, you're just less nurturing. Well, you got those balls to deal with. It's like you have your own babies. Yeah. Girls never care.

But having big balls is a blessing because all it does is make your dick look smaller. That's a blessing? No, it's a curse. Oh, you said a blessing. No, if you haven't... Like, basically, like... Yeah. Yeah, obviously, right? It's just fucking...

All it does is, like, you know, because the girls don't think, like, oh, the balls are big. They think, like, oh, the fucking dicks, like... Is there... You know how there's, like, breast reduction surgery? Is there a ball reduction surgery?

Yes, and I did it, and it didn't work. You don't remember that? I thought that was not a reduction. I thought that was your things were all crossed. I did a reduction. Oh, I didn't know that. No, but you're right. It's not the actual balls. It's the stuff inside the balls.

The stuff beside the balls. The surgery didn't take. Like a face tuck or whatever. Like a facelift. Do this to your balls. Cosmetic balls. There was actually back in the day, a big thing that we used to

do is fucking send each other pictures of balls. Never a dick, just ball. there was actually back in the day a big thing that we used to do is uh fucking i'll send each other pictures of balls but like never a dick just ball yeah and then like funny thing would be like if someone's like it was like let's say it was like waldo's birthday or whatever right like we do the photo and then like the two other guys would take their balls out and put them beside their photo or whatever and then there was one like i guess from old school facebook before like uh i think uh i went and like a run-through of all the stuff But there was an old photo that like my buddy had basically like a job interview

And he was like had to scrub it and he was like I got it like he was like it basically had to take down all Our tag photos because he was at a job interview and he was like pretty crazy What was going on on Facebook back in it was me? Waldo and Jerick standing behind a wheelbarrow and we all had our balls in the wheelbarrow That was my profile picture. That used to be the whole Facebook. It used to be the whole Wild West. If you put a ball photo now,

you'd be fucking, you'd count, take it down. Yeah, done, done. That was before the days of content moderation. Back in the day, you could be your profile photo of you having your ball on a wheelbarrow. It's a different day. Different time. Depending on what you're looking for in a guy you should probably

become just as obsessed with ball size as every dude you've likely to have ever met so basically they're saying that uh i think that'll be a thing i do not girls but like girls on tinder like don't waste my time and small balls only don't waste not looking for guys to fucking dick around no hookups small balls only i'm a ball i'm. Not looking for guys to fucking dick around. No hookups. Small balls only. I'm a size queen. It's like, well, I'm packing eight inches. Around or circumference?

What are we talking? I'm more of a, I need to know the weight. Is there a way you can weigh your balls? Yeah, I'm about eight and a half. Milligrams? What are we talking about here?

What are we fucking? I'm trying to start a family, okay? Okay, one thing. We'll do that, and then we'll get the psychopaths and girls out of their article on the Patreon. People will be happy to know that this Sunday, we are filming the Bugman versus Bugman competition. Go down!

We've got all the gear. We have a location. We have a judge. So it's all going down. We've got everything. And then we're going to have that edited quickly so it's all going down. We got everything. And then we're going to have that edited quickly so it's out before the end of the month. So it's a whole big thing that we've got going on here.

And then next 200... Oh, well, we're going to have the next one, then we're going to do another one, but we'll release this one first. Yes, of course. And then now we're in the swing of things and then the next goal, we're going to do the next challenge. Every 200 new challenge. We won't announce it until we've done this one.

And we can do one sneak preview Yeah Is that Basically the person Who loses the challenge Has to return the thing In a hard hat With a dildo on it

To a home depot One of the things We came up with Yeah yeah Okay alright Patreon.com Is the last of the boys guys Peace