The Boyscast with Ryan Long - Ep 3 - Yo feminism is so sick yo

Episode Date: February 28, 2020

An article on why feminism made sex better, Talking about dweeby ass michael moore, racist jokes, and more. SHARE THIS WITH YOUR FRIENDS... unless you don't have friends in which case get some friends dude.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And you can tell our friends, and they can have my things when we're dead But we're gonna live forever, but we're gonna live forever We are here for episode 3 of the Boyscast The first podcast exclusively dedicated to the boys Whoa, whoa, whoa, boys, boys, boys, boys, boys We made it to episode 3 New York's out of fucking control right now in general. I just, so I just took the subway back home. There's literally an ad on the subway and it goes,

my sexuality is nobody's business. So that's the whole thing. I'm looking at this and I go, these people can't decide whether their sexuality is like not a big deal or the biggest deal in the entire world. Cause I pretty much guarantee if I went to your Twitter handle, this person on here that was like, you know, a gay person that your entire identity is being gay. I bet you, if I went to your Twitter, it's, it's in the first three words, you know, like my sexual, like if you go to my Twitter handle, it's not like Ryan long comedian straight. It's not, I don't have to put, I guarantee you these people in their first thing it goes uh you know my name's whatever joe johnson pretty solid name solid just picked it out at the top

of my head came up with joe johnson that's the name and it says you know queer pansexual whatever like obviously stuff we've all heard a million times but you're like so you know this is a huge deal to you it's a huge deal to you that everyone knows that you're gay. And signal who's paying for this. Like actually though, who's what, what organization is raising money to put a subway ad that just says like, it shouldn't be important.

Your sexuality. And you're like in, in New York city, you literally have guys walking around. I'd be a gay guy. I see this all the time. He'll have essentially like a thong on hit with his dick out. He'll have a mesh tank top. This just the wackiest shit you can possibly imagine. And then it's like, my sexuality is not to be important. It's like really? Cause your

shirt says I'm a fag and loving it, baby. So it kind of seems like it does matter to you. And by the way this is nothing against gay people gay people fucking kick ass one of my best friends is gay Danny Polachuk so there's nothing wrong with that but it's like okay this is obviously a huge deal for you your sexuality it shouldn't matter that I'm a construction worker and then you like show up to a funeral wearing construction a construction hat because you're like yellow vest and everyone's like you construction worker you're like whoa dude mind your business jesus christ like just because oh that's that's all you see me as a construction

worker it's like i mean you literally have the hat on and it's rude to have a hat on in general and you're wearing construction hat so a little bit strange yeah it's like it's very very important for people here to that that people know who they're fucking. Why does my sexuality matter? It matters to you. It matters to you a lot more than it matters to me. Listen to this article. Feminism makes you better in bed. So this is, this is, this is just a fun one here. Yeah. So these people are fucking out of control. There's this blog I found everydayfeminism.com. It's phenomenal. They're just cranking out bangers on this site.

Yes! Exclamation mark. Four ways feminism can make you better in bed. Does feminism make women better at sex? Some experts would say yes. Oh, the sexperts. So does feminism make women better at bed? Some experts, and it doesn't say experts, it says sexperts.

What would make you a sexpert? This is what I was talking about last episode. There's just literally tons of people on the internet telling people how they could fucking be better at sex. And you're like, oh, you like how much you have sex? And you're like, I've actually had a boyfriend. We fuck like once every three months. You're like, okay, so you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. like once every three months you're like okay so you don't know what the fuck you're talking about this is the reason why there's so many sexperts is because women can't just do anything in a small

way it has to be like very extravagant like i've entered the party so when a woman's like oh i'm gonna fuck like lots of people i'm gonna be like a new york slut when they start doing that they're like well they have to constantly be telling people like, you know, this is sick that I'm slutty. Right. And then next thing you know, they have like a dating podcast about how much of a slut they are. Because you can't just do it because they need constant reaffirmation for everything they're doing. So you have like, so, you know, a girl be like, oh, fuck 10 guys. Then literally before you know it, she's got a blog about how it's awesome to fuck.

And then she's got a, you know, a podcast about dating. My favorite thing about feminist podcasts, and you guys can use this. Basically, every feminist podcast at its core is just a podcast about boys, which is such a funny way to, you know, because you're like, basically, it's like being a feminist. This is my feminist podcast. It kind of just feels like you're talking about boys the whole time. Like if you listen to most podcasts that dudes do, I would say they talk about chicks, I don't know, a fifth of the time. Like if I'm with all my buddies, we're literally talking about everything but the girls.

I think we went to Nashville with five guys and didn't mention girls the entire time. Literally on our way home after fucking four days. Two people fell asleep and me and my boy are in the front seat and we're like, I don't know, how's your girlfriend, I guess? And he's like, all right, you know, whatever. What are you gonna do?

You're fucking damned if you do, damned if you don't. That's the ultimate lesson in life to learn is like, you know, whatever. It's fucking crappy sometimes. It's fine sometimes. But what are you gonna do? You gotta have one, I guess. This idea that there's sexperts out there.

I'm an expert at sex. Most girls' sex advice that they give girls is just like all this wacky shit that they can do. And which I hate it. Drives me nuts. Not in the good way. Whenever girls bring wacky sex things to the bedroom, it just drives me fucking nuts. When you're doing stuff with someone, especially for the first or second time, and they're like, and then I'm going to swing on the chandelier, and I have 19 vibrators.

I've been to a girl's house, and she had a vibr like proudly displayed on her on her uh dresser you know as if to say like what damn right i'm fucking have a vibrator i'm empowered and you're just like okay i'm not i'm not like bringing a vibrator into the equation the first time like just have sex like a normal human being if you're fucking you know what you know what a girl can do to real something that a girl could do um if you want to make sex better for the guy? If you want to be great at sex, get in better shape. That's literally the number one thing you could do. I bet you all of these sex, you could take 9,000 blowjob courses and all of that would not be as good as just like losing 20 pounds and getting an eight pack.

And that works for guys too. You know, just fucking get a bit hotter and stop doing weird shit. I need you to fucking be, what's going to happen is I can only come if you're under the bed and then you punch a hole through the top of the bed and then fist my vagina through the hole in the bed. It's the only way, it's the only thing that can make my vagina come. Dr. Pam Spurr. That's the author of Sensational Sex. Am I good or am I good? Because what did I just tell you?

It's always going to be like, this is how to have sex that's just fucking out of this world. You don't want sex out of this world. You want fucking the pot chick. All right. In the past few decades women have learned about orgasms it's just like voting and equal pay are their right all right you got that ladies orgasms are your god-given right it's your god-given right to have an orgasm i'll tell you

what a lot of times i will have sex less just because girls are such a fucking pain in the ass with it like if you're dating a girl and every time every time you have sex she's like it's gonna be like a 25 minute debacle you know I'm gonna need the whole thing I'm gonna need to become 40 minutes at 40 times and it's difficult for me to do on top of that that's why guys are always just trying to squeak it out in the morning girls like I'm in a hurry you're like you know let's do it because you don't want to fucking sign up for the boston marathon before you go to sleep because you're fucking you had a hard day and the girl comes back she's like pleasure me girls that's such a sweet girls gave up basically every fucking awesome thing they had for like good

sex you know what i mean because girls had basically a deal where it's like the dude would pay for everything they kind of got to make all the decisions and all they had to do was kind of be like all right let me just like do stuff with him when he wants and not be that big of a pain and then you get everything else pretty pretty fucking awesome deal but now because dudes will basically give up everything from money to lifestyle choice. They'll give up all of the things. Just hanging out with their buddies for fucking pussy, which is retarded and you shouldn't. But that's the nature of the game. And if girls harness that power, the smart women do.

Like when you meet a really smart woman, she's not like, oh, I can't wait. I fucking, this guy better pleasure me. She's like, yeah, I wait i'd fucking this guy better pleasure me she's like yeah i'm gonna fucking rinse these dudes and i'm gonna and then i'm gonna like make him think he's got an awesome deal that's what smart women do bad women are like i need 45 orgasms on this fucking spot it's my god-given right this is my i have the right to bear arms i have the right to vote and i have the i don't know what the rights are, but you know, one, all I know is one of them is the right to a fucking good dick. That is the, they give up everything for that. So much. Okay. So you guys are going to love it. Number one, what you're

into doesn't have to depend on your gender. A lot of people have anxieties about whether or not what they're sexually into is appropriate for someone of their gender. So if you're, you know, if you're just a guy and you're thinking, this might be weird that I want three men to come in here and have sex with me. Is that appropriate for my gender? And I feel like my girlfriend might think it's weird that I actually want to lie on the, I want to lie on the bed with a belt in my mouth while she puts a strap on and then fucks the living shit out of me.

And my bed's literally covering in shit. That's why feminism allows me to do it. Thank you, feminism. Some women worry too much about being too dominant or proactive about initiating sex. If you are the type of girl that, first of all, I'd say that 90% of women aren't that. So I'll tell you what feminism did do is made a bunch of women that aren't like that think that they should be like that they come in and they're like it's almost like they're cosplaying the character of a of a fucking pushy sex person they come in and like push you on the bed and they're like get ready fuck dude and you're like stop just stop it you're not this person you ever have a

you have a friend that comes in and he's like it's such a weak move where it's kind of like he thinks that everyone's kind of bullying him around and he's the day he's like this is the day that I'm going to tell people to stop treating me a certain way and he goes to his boss and he's like I do not like the way that I'm being treated that's kind of and you're like what are you doing you're not this person it's just you know you're the guy that fucking gets kind of bullied around and eats shit don't if and if you are like sort of a fucking feminine cocky dude, don't put yourself in a, the number one thing you could do to make your life better is don't put yourself in a situation where you're dating a girl who's going to take advantage of you. Find a nice person. That's

the actual truth. I know a lot of people that are like that, that you're like, they're girls, they're the type of guy that just gets, you know, bitched around. Like, they'd come in and they'd be like, I don't know, it's just so weird. Every time my girl's out with all of her friends, her phone just doesn't work.

It's so bizarre. I guess she just, there's like a reception issue in New York, I guess. And you're like, yeah, everyone's just like,

God, dude, that's crazy that every time she's, where'd you say she was? Oh, she's at like an NBA party. Oh,

okay. Just, yeah, they don't, no, actually, oh okay just yeah they don't i know actually i'm like they don't have a reception at nba parties like you're right up there's probably nothing to worry about that's that's a known thing that at nba parties it's like a bond seller in there dude you're good but if you are the type of person that gets bossed around by chicks you need to find a nice chick and with a cut like that's kind and it's not going to take advantage of you

because she because if you find someone that is they going to, because you're like wired to be taken advantage of your mark. Don't enter the shark tank. So when girls think that they're just like, I'm the fucking, I'm going to be the man now. And they push you on the bed and they start like you know i don't know what a fucking shit that they do like start trying to toss you around and you're like okay stop this what do you what do you what is this i'll tell you what there are some guys that want to be fucking bossed around but the amount of girls that like doing that it's probably 10 so fucking probably 10 of girls want to like boss guys around and bitch them around and push them around and whatever.

And sex. They want to be slapping you. But the girls that aren't, which the other 30% of people that think that they're this person now, you're not that person. You're like, coming in, I want to dominate you. And you're like, no, you don't. And they're kind of like, yeah, you're probably right. I'm just going to pop back down here on my bed. I've had partners and friends say something like, but I'm a man.

I can't let someone tie me up. Or wait, I shouldn't be initiating sex with him. But I'm a man. I can't let someone tie me up. So you're like, that's what's happened. You and the girl are lying in bed and you're making out and you're starting to have sex and then she pulls out some ropes you go what are you doing she goes I'm gonna tie you up and you go but I'm a man I will but me I'm a man I don't think anyone that

doesn't want to be tied up will say that oh this is a guy that really wants to be tied up but he's like he's grappling with it I want to be tied up but he looked at himself in the mirror like i'm a man doesn't that sound like a guy that isn't a man and like is potentially gay or is potentially like grappling with the fact that he's super not manly can you imagine how good is it the idea that you're like i want to be i want to be tied up i want the girl to just come in and dominate me. And then you wake up and look in the mirror and be like, no, I'm a man. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're a man, Ryan. You can't let her tie you up. You're a man. Yeah. That's like, that's a, that's a manly guy. That's a guy that's, that's a guy that's obviously not manly. Sex doesn't have to follow a pre-written script. This is feminism did that. Yeah. Yeah. That's

feminism. I remember, I remember before feminism came along, we used to go in the bedroom and I'd say, here's your script, missionary doggy, and then hide the body. That's the script that I gave her. She goes, why does it say bury the body? It's like, don't look at that shovel, stuff like that. But then feminism came trouncing into the picture

and we're like, wait a second. Hold on, Hold the phone. If I was to go doggy then, missionary, you're telling me that I could go back to doggy? Oh, thank you, feminism. As soon as you start questioning some of the dating and sexual scripts, why does the guy have to make the first move? What if there are two guys or two girls? were two guys or two girls. It took this blog to point number two to say the guy should be getting fucked by a dude. You know, it doesn't have to follow a pre-written script, like a guy and a girl having sex. Like, you know, maybe it ties things up. Maybe your girlfriend's not there.

Maybe it's just you and a bathhouse getting fucked by three dudes. Maybe it's just you at a bathhouse getting fucked by three dudes. Maybe it's just you at a bathhouse with three Asian dudes that you met online. Whatever. Oh, I'm sorry that in 2020 they didn't have to follow a script. Honey, here, I actually gave you a new script. Hey, babe, I was thinking we have sex and I gave you this script. And she's like, I don't see any lines here for me. It's just, I see Ryan and then Pablo enters. And I mean, oh, you're just SOC. You're silent

on camera. So you're still in the script, but you're just, you're silent on camera. It's me and Pablo are going to be doing all the talking, if you know what I mean, or not doing all the talking. Pablo will be wearing a ball gag. Capisce? Thank you, feminism. Why do things have to proceed in the same pattern? From kissing to touching to oral sex every time. What if you come first? What if you

do things backwards? What if you start with your clothes off, come and then gradually put your clothes on as you're having sex? Why are we following this script of what to do? I think what should happen is sex should start with having sex. You should start with having sex with your clothes off. And then you should start having sex with an erect penis.

And then slowly lose your boner as time goes on. And then slowly put on more clothes until at the end you're just kissing and then you walk out of the room backwards. Just something like that. You more clothes till the end. You're just kissing. And then you walk into the room backwards. Just something like that. You know, flip the script. Why does sex have to go from kissing to oral and then sex? Why not sex to oral?

Just kissing. And then you end with a bottle smooched. Instead of coming at the end of sex, you smooch the girl and leave. Or sorry, smooch the guy. Feminism. All right. And, you know, and their closing argument here you know i'm gonna skip a couple because they're boring but in closing arguments just because a

woman takes her clothes off doesn't mean that she wants to have sexual intercourse and you know also just because a man is interested in sex does not mean he's interested in anal sex what are you what are you even talking about that's just you try to fill words like those are not the same things it's like hey just because if a girl takes off her clothes and starts like you know you start doing stuff and you start like whatever giving head or whatever doesn't mean she wants to fuck you and you're like okay and also just because a guy's having sex with you women doesn't mean that he wants to fuck you in the ass okay you're like has that been a problem before the guys are like oh my and the girl's like you'll fuck me in the ass and the

guy's like you know that is really disgusting of you to say that because just because i'm having sex with you for you to assume that i also want to put in your butt that's fucking fucked up how would you feel if you started if we started uh making out and then i forced you into sex like yeah yeah those are the same things like how are you even conflating those two things, you morons? All right. So feminism didn't make people better at sex. What it did was make people pretend that they're, it made a lot of women pretend that there's something that they aren't. So that's what happened. Girls gave up everything so that they could get orgasms.

Your God-given right to come. Moving on, just want to say a quick shout out to the boys who've been listening to the podcast if you could do one quick thing right now which isn't that hard if you like the podcast take a screenshot of the thing post it in your instagram story or twitter pretty easy just like a bam screenshot of the podcast you're listening right now put it in the instagram post it tag me and i'll repost it or whatever i don't know kind of cool right but the numbers have fucking grown pretty high like in not a lot of time so i appreciate people listening okay so one thing that's been pretty funny is that so i i've had all these videos that have been kind of going viral lately one of them was this internet tattletale video and it got posted

by pretty much every fucking person on the dark web. So every person that's been canceled, you know, from the fucking Gavin McInnes, Owen Benjamin, like Mike Cernovich, fucking Stefan Molyneux, like all these, all these super canceled people fucking posted my video. It's pretty, it's pretty funny. The thing is when people like that post your video, a lot of people will tell you, they'll be like, people like to try to call you a nazi that's their whole thing and you're like this is the problem with the last four years basically after trump won and everyone threw a temper tantrum and the woke stuff took over there was a big push that said essentially

if you're a kind of straight white guy that you know thinks a certain way and you're not fucking like with the program you're kind of out of the club and we don't fucking want you. So then what happened? Because men are crafty and creative. What they do is they went to, you know, started YouTube channels and podcasts. And then a lot of people like me who probably would have, you know, moved to American, did traditional television since I had a, you know, millions of views and one of the most successful comedians in my country. But then what happens is they kind of say you're out of the club

and then you build your own audience and do your own thing. And then they kind of come to you and, you know, when you're like really famous and they're like, Hey, you should get it. You know, people, they go to people, comedy central comes to these people and they're like, Hey, you should do a show here for a hundred grand a year. And you're like, well, I'm making like 500 grand a year off my fucking Patreon. Why don't, why would I want you anymore? Like, I was like, Andrew Schultz, it's like, you know, you could have had him in the mix and then controlled him. But the problem is you push, you push these people in the trenches and you pander to the woke stuff and you pander to the wrong people. And now we're all your enemy. And they just keep making it worse and worse.

They go, yeah. Okay. Like all of the people that probably would have been, you know, from the fucking Legion of Skanks, the come down guys, all these super talented worse and worse they go yeah okay like all the people that probably would have been you know from the fucking legion of skanks the come down guys all these super talented people and they go you have to be a podcaster now essentially because you're not going to be able to be in traditional television and then when you're a podcaster if you're going to do an hour a week and you're going to actually be funny of course you're going to be like fucking pushing boundaries and saying shit that is fucking you're letting it fly and saying wild shit and then they go oh now you can't uh do traditional television because you were uh the stuff you said in your podcast and you're like yeah well the reason we did this is because we were kicked out of the thing so i think these people are just fucking burning to the ground and it's kind of fun to watch these morons

they're like they bet on the woke thing no one wants anything to do with it they lost control the press tour like they used to own if they if they want to promote a movie, they used to own the main press outlets. Now, like Joe Rogan does bigger numbers than all their things combined. And it's hilarious to watch. Dude, I'm fucking doing like bigger numbers than most like CBC series is and most fucking comedy central series, a digital series. So it's just like, it's funny to watch these fucking idiots try to like, try to re-engineer

society and it not work. And this is goes back to what I was saying at the beginning is everyone in America is obsessed that all these people are obsessed with identity. And then they pretend that they're not, they go, they go, you shouldn't care about like, if someone's white or black and you shouldn't care about their thing is like, no, I don't care. You really care. That's all you care about. You go to networks and they're like, no, I don't care. You really care. That's all you care about. You go to networks and they're like, yeah, it doesn't matter if they're, if people are white, black, a woman, a man, like that doesn't matter. It shouldn't matter. And you're like, really? Because you literally have pages and pages of policies and meetings saying how you'd like to

design your fucking sheer, your network racially. So it kind of feels like you care a lot about race. That's all you care about. I don't care about it. I grew up with a fucking super multicultural neighborhood and all my school, half black, half white, all different sorts of people. And we didn't care. People were actually friends. We didn't start from a dishonest position where I put like, I said, oh, just by the way, I know that I'm white.

So I know who's going to be friends with someone like that. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone that's like, oh, I know that you're this. So I need to, I need to tread lightly. I go, what are you, what is this? Are we friends or are we friends or am I below you? Okay. So Michael Moore, this is what Michael Moore said today. He goes, white people are not good people. You should be afraid of white people. This is what Michael Moore says. You know, the fucking 150 million white people in America you should be afraid of white people they are not good

do you think that Michael Moore when he walks into his home and his fat gross wife is there I hope she's fat and gross like him he walks in, first he eats some food walks into his house where's my dinner, I'm Michael Moore and then she goes

hey how are you doing and he dinner? I'm Michael Moore. And then she goes, hey, how are you doing? And he goes, I'm a white person. You got to be afraid. I'm a bad boy. I'm a real bad boy. Like, does Michael Moore, that's how he sees himself? He's like, I'm bad to the bone, baby. You should be afraid.

You be very afraid. Like, someone cuts him off and they're driving on the freeway and someone cuts him off and he's and they look at him you like you i don't know if you saw my skin color but i am i am not to be reckoned with we are not i am not a good man you know what michael moore it actually is true because you are a piece of shit but that doesn't mean that fucking all white people across the board are not good people i'm not not a good person. White people are not good and you should be afraid of them. He said on a Rolling Stones, you said on the Rolling Stones podcast, useful idiot. Michael Moore warned people that if they see a group of three white men approaching them, if they should cross, they should cross the street because at least two of them voted for

Trump. So that's some fuck. That's some for michael moore what world are you living in you're walking down the street in new york city you know you're you know like you're an indian dude and you see three white guys they're just college kids three college kids walking the street and you go oh and then you run to the other side of the street and you're like what and then you go why are you running the other side of the street and you're like, what? And then you go, why are you running the other side of the street? His girlfriend, you go, white people, three white guys, Trump voters. And also, if you're in fucking New York City, no, three of them didn't vote for Trump. Probably none of them voted for Trump. And if you're in another place, you probably voted for Trump too, Michael Moore.

Because I don't know if you know that, Michael Moore, but people from different places also vote like those places. So white people from New York vote for fucking other people. And then lots of different other ethnicities that live in fucking Texas probably vote for Trump, you moron. Dude, if you go an hour outside of New York in any direction, like there's a million like Asian immigrants that are like hardcore Trump people. But Michael Moore doesn't think that because Michael Moore thinks that you're only allowed to be the way that your race says you are. I'm a white. White guys vote like this and black guys vote like this.

And otherwise you're a traitor to the race, according to Michael Moore. Do you think Michael Moore crosses the street when Michael Moore, Michael Moore walks through the hood? He walks through fucking deep Harlem. There's three people, three, three guys. He just hears footsteps. He sees a shadow. It's a guy holding a gun. And then they watch, three guys, and they walk in the shadows. And Michael Moore's like, oh my god, I hope it's not white people. And then the three

guys pop out. And it's like three super hood Latino gangsters. And he goes, oh my god, phew. Hey guys, false alarm. I thought you were going to be white people for a second. All right, anyways, as you were, I thought I was gonna have to cross the street, but it's just fucking Latino gangsters.

Woo, a close call for Michael Moore. And Moore joked that the other guys in the group of three whites are people like him that didn't vote for Trump. Just fucking sweet dudes like Michael Moore that are fucking doing the God's work. We're traitors to our race. That's how they see us.

You're an idiot, Michael Moore. You're one of the dumbest people in the world. Do you think that's how people vote for Trump? Like, I know, first of all, I'm not voting one way or the other. I don't give a shit. Let me be very clear on this fucking podcast. I give less of a shit who you vote for.

I don't care. If you think that Trump people say, like a white guy goes, oh yeah, I voted for Bernie. They go, you're a fucking race traitor. Like Michael Moore lives in a fucking delusional world where everyone's literally in the KKK. That's how he sees it.

People like Michael Moore are such liars. And that's the problem with, you know, even like the Bernie Sanders guys, you know, I've watched him like getting railroaded by his own party, which is like kind of funny to watch. But the problem with these guys like Bernie Sanders is they just, they start on such a, like a lie that it's hard to be on board with them. Cause I'm actually kind of down with guys like Bernie. They seem like kind of principled and stuff like

that. You know, you know what Bernie Sanders would be like? Billionaires are the worst. And then they go, billionaires don't make a billion dollars. They take a billion dollars. They took the money from you. And you're like, okay, so what about a guy that has $7 million? Where's the line? And you're like, oh no, no, it's a, it's a line. And it's right above me. It's like, well, by any logical, anyone with a brain knows that there isn't a magical line where you cross from being a good person to being a bad person. You know? So what if someone writes a book that makes, so, so if, if someone writes a book that makes so so if if you write a book that makes 800 million dollars you're great if you write a book that makes a billion dollars you just turned into the worst piece of shit in the world and you stole that money from

people and it's just like okay so you're you're a lot you don't believe that it's not logically consistent and it's insulting to people's intelligence and they go billionaires just sit on their ass and make money it's like the slightest bit of research or anecdotal evidence. If you fucking, if you have a brain and you do any research, you'll find out that most billionaires, if you listen to them on any podcast or read their books, most billionaires work fucking 90 hours a week. And you know, I know a lot of people that have lots of money and they're all, they barely have lives because they're working so hard. And then look in your own life and look at the people that are successful. And then look at the people that are really not successful. Who works harder? I know the idea is like, you know, this

person might work 40 hours a week at a factory. That's fine. But most people that like started a business, not only do they work 90 hours a week, they're also thinking about it nonstop. They never turn it off. It's so it's just anecdotally, it's just very dishonest to say that. And everyone, and I think everyone kind of like, even if they like Bernie, you kind of have this idea of like, dude, I'm kind of with you if you stop, if you stop lying to me. And that's why people hate that woke shit so much. Cause it's like, you know, when fucking Elizabeth Warren's like trans black people, you know, created this world and you're like, okay, so that's not true. black people you know created this world and you're like okay so that's not true obviously like yeah no they didn't so everyone knows that's not true so how am i gonna believe you like we're

starting from a dishonest place so it's like a you know you meet a guy on tinder and he comes and he's like i'm fucking seven foot four and i'm rich and then he shows up and he's like five foot five and bald and poor and you're like i mean i don't know you just kind of lied to me out of the gate so it's gonna be hard for us to to to continue with this interaction. So that's, that's the problem with guys like that. And I feel like the reason why I don't think America, socialism is good in America is the same reason I kind of, it's a negative and a positive. So the positive part, you know, you always hear people say that people in america see themselves as rich people that haven't got rich yet which is true if you see a construction worker and they're like

that's why they don't want socialism because they're like well when i have when i have my million dollars i don't want to give more than half my money away when i have when i have a billion dollars and you're like well you work at like uh you work at target why are why how are you going to make a million dollars and you're like oh uh rap obviously i don't know if you heard i'm a rapper you're like this guy doesn't even know they don't even know so every guy here has some scam that he thinks he's gonna make a million dollars which kind of rules because i love guys like that this is i like fucking the guys that think they're the best people that think they're the best more than you know the fucking I'm the worst fucking er from

Winnie the Pooh I prefer that I remember we was once with my friends on a podcast I was doing the fucking comics podcast and four of us a joke came up and then five minutes later we were talking about the joke and all four of us thought that we thought of the joke it was just like that's how much all four of us are up our own fucking asses all of us thought we came up with it and like i came up with that and he's like i'm pretty sure i said that and patrick was like i'm 90 sure i said that and then anytime so i love the idea that america has this i'm gonna fucking you don't don't don't underestimate my ability to get what I want. I'm going to run this fucking city. And you're like, yeah, I don't see it. But you know, you'll see these guys, they're like 45. And you're like, my music career is taking off my new company. You're like, that probably won't happen, but everyone still has a lottery ticket. And I think this is like a lottery

ticket society that I fucking like that idea. Cause I think that idea keeps people fucking moving. It keeps people happy that idea keeps people fucking moving it keeps people happy it keeps people energized because you're like they don't even know what I'm about to do when they hear these bars from my when they hear my fucking bars about being target yo MC target up in this piece so the because of that like americans are such fucking scam artists that it's always give them an inch take it a mile like when we have we have social we have a health free health care in canada but it's always trying to get pushed like there's it's the because health care should be catastrophe insurance health care should be that if you fucking if you get cancer

or you get hit by a car it shouldn't't bankrupt your family. You shouldn't have to pay, you know, you shouldn't get a bill for $150 million and then you're bankrupted because of an accident. No, we should, as a society, we shouldn't want that to happen. And that should be something we're against. But unfortunately, what happens is, and it's happening in Canada, but it'll be worse here, is they go, they start with that. And then they're like, no, no, no, you shouldn't even have to pay $100. And you should also be paying for free therapy and transition surgery. And then also it'll be worse here is they go, they start with that. And then they're like, no, no, no, you shouldn't even have to pay a hundred dollars. And you should also be paying for free

therapy and transition surgery. And then also it should be dental and then it should be cosmetic dental. And then it's always pushing, pushing, pushing, pushing, pushing. So it's classic, you know, and we, we can't, Canada has a lot of scammers. I used to tour with this guy named Gary and he fucking was just living off the government, living the, living the dream. Honestly, he's 45 years old, fucking never worked a day in his life, just getting checks. And he used to be able to get free sunglasses. No, he used to be able to get free glasses from his welfare. So if you're on welfare, they pay for your glasses in Canada. And he didn't need glasses, but would still get glasses

with the lowest prescription and the sunglass style. He'd get the sunglass style with a prescription and he would just wear sunglasses with a prescription. And you'd be like, why are you doing that?

He's like, because I can. So if you open the door that Americans, like you can actually get therapy for free. You can get massages for free. People will take, like I don't think you can roll back therapy for free. You can get massages for free. People will take, like, I don't think you can roll back the culture that America has of fucking

taking advantage of everything. You know what I mean? They're just, America just has such a culture of scammers that like literally if they start saying, you know, plastic surgery is going to be covered by the government, which by the way,

if they start, this is what, that's where it goes. And then they'll say transition, you know, transition surgery is covered by the government which by the way if they start this is what that's where it goes and they'll say transition you know transition surgery is covered by the government you'll have like everyone in america walking around with like six tits they fucking yeah i just got a tip put on my back and you're like why you're like fucking government pays for it you're out of your mind dude you just got a fucking i just got a second knee what does it do you know just look sick dude by before if government said they were going to pay for cosmetic things you'd have like americans before you know it you'd have a guy on dr phil that had

a hundred thousand dollar surgery to transition him girl to guy girl to guy girl to guy 14 times i transitioned 14 times in one year and the government paid for it that's what you'd have in america because there's such a i got you're not everyone looking like fucking michael jackson everyone's going to therapy 10 times a day. People have a podcast where it's just them talking to the therapist. Like, why not? He's fucking $200 an hour and the government's paying for it. So I think that's the problem with America.

You would literally see people walking around with good trillion Z fucking boobs. And you're like, well, that's what happens when you give Americans free stuff or fucking a scumbags. Anyways, moving on back to what I was talking about with the race stuff that fucking Michael Moore was talking about. There's a lot of articles that come up and they go, five reasons why your racist jerks aren't as funny as you think they are. And I feel like a lot of people have this conversation

and I feel like both sides are morons. So this is, let me break down what the actual situation is. So first of all, I just want to say that, so half the people on the internet are like, these young people are just too triggered by everything. And then the other half of the people are like, no, young people are sticking up for what they believe in. And I'm like, neither of you guys are young.

You're in your thirties. You're going through college phases at 35 years old. You literally could have a 15 year old kid and it wouldn't be weird. You're going through college phases at 35 years old. You literally could have a 15-year-old kid and it wouldn't be weird. You're not a young person. Like you're going to be in an old age home soon with a soiled diaper screaming the youth cannot be stopped. You know what young people are doing right now? They're listening to rap, making TikTok videos, and playing beer pong. Like you're 10 years away from being anywhere near the pulse. Think back to when you were 18. Think of someone 30. Do they know what was hipipping with it? Were they the youth sticking it to the man? No, no, this is what you are.

You're the wacky aunt Janice that comes over with her new jeweler that she's making because she's going through another new phase at 36 years old. And she thinks she's got the hot takes and the kids are like, Oh, my wacky aunt Janice thinks there's no such thing as a boy and a girl. That's who you are. Okay. So that said, that's one of the reasons why this whole thing is just a whole load of shit. So there's all these articles, and I might actually go through this at another point, but my point was, I want to say, they go, let me just give you the idea. Racist jokes remind people of the real-life oppression they experience. This is what jokes are.

As a comedian, jokes are a contract between your conscience and the audience, and that's all. So you say something to the audience, their side of it is if they laugh, and your side of it is if you can live with what you've said. So that's the whole thing. And you'll be like, well, what if one person in the audience was triggered? Well, that falls onto the side of your conscience. So for example, I have people in my life that have certain diseases or illnesses, and I don't like to joke about those topics, but I don't care if other people do.

It just doesn't feel right to me. Like if I say it, it just feels like a little dishonest because I'm pretending to joke about something, whereas really I kind of feel some sort of ways about it. So it feels like rude to the person, so I don't do it and that that's how your conscience like you're like when I when I said this joke I know where my heart is I know how I feel about a certain topic so if I do a joke about race or sexuality or gay people or woman or whatever it is I need to feel good about that and that's that's my part I need to think I need to feel good about it politically or whatever

like uh culturally and then I also need to feel good about it artistically so I need to think, I need to feel good about it politically or whatever, like culturally. And then I also need to feel good about it artistically. So I need to be able to say this and be like, I believe in this artistically. Like, I think it's a good joke. I think this is funny. I don't think this is hack. And then I also need to, my conscious needs to believe that I don't feel like this is coming from the wrong place in the sense that by my standards. So this is not by your standards. That's by my standards. That's my part of it. And then the audience gets to decide whether they laugh or not.

And then maybe some people laugh, maybe some people don't. And you can decide. Someone in the audience might not be laughing and you're like, no, they're wrong. The most of the audience laughed. So the joke did work. It was a funny joke.

This person, I think maybe here in bad faith or they just don't see it the same way as I do, but I know where I'm coming from. And that's all it is. So this is what they do with everything. They go, jokes are, you know, racist jokes are bad. That's step one. This is, it's the number one bait and switch that they always do. They go, racist jokes are bad. Everyone agrees with that. And then they go, oh yeah, everyone's, every joke's racist, by the way. And then you, then you're like, you agree to the first thing. You know, everyone agrees that you should punch Nazis. And you're like, yeah, we should punch Nazis. Of course.

And you're like, Ooh, by the way, everyone's a Nazi. They get you to agree to a thing that you're not supposed to do. And then they say, everything's that thing. So that's the thing. It's like, they go, racist jokes are bad. And you go, I guess so. And they go, and you shouldn't do them. Yeah. Okay. I guess people might be agree to that. And then they go, Oh, by the way, everything's racist. So no, it's up to you to look at yourself and decide if you say a joke at the fucking workplace and you're with your boys and you feel and you're like i don't know that kind of felt gross which i've done a million times i've said jokes and i'm on stage and everyone laughed and their part of the contract they were like we like this and then my part of the contract

i was like i kind of feel i don't know i kind of feel bad about this joke it doesn't doesn't feel right maybe i don't believe the thing I'm saying. Maybe it feels like unnecessarily like the point I'm making is, is, is not the right one that I want to make or whatever it is, or just, it feels mean. It feels like an, a low blow to someone that I didn't feel like I just should be making. So there's a million reasons why you get to decide you're a part of it. They get to decide just like every other relationship in the world. And then a third party is, wants to step in and this is this fucking communist bullshit. You get to decide you're a part of it. They get to decide, just like every other relationship in the world. And then a third party wants to step in.

And this is this fucking communist bullshit. They want to step in and be like, no, no, no, no, no, no. I know that, like, it's a guy and a girl on a date. And they're like, we should have sex. And then some third party goes, oh, I know you guys had a contract that you were going to decide that you're going to have sex. But I'm going to step in and say, no, no, you're not going to have sex. And actually, this is not consensual. And you're like, well, we both said yes, and we're about to have sex. Like, you're not gonna have sex and actually this is a not consensual and you're like well we both said yes we're about to have sex like yeah yeah yeah but it's not consensual that's what this is you're making a joke you don't if you don't feel like it's racist the audience likes it and then a third party's saying well no no the audience

is just a bunch of morons and they're they're racist too what about the black guy laughing he's stupid that's what you have to think what if a black guy liked it well he's just he's yeah because he's fucking socially they have to go through all these mental gymnastics to fucking uh justify their perspective okay so i'm gonna wrap up this bad boy soon with a few questions by the way i've been i already mentioned this but i'm pretty pumped that all the boys have been sharing the stuff it's been very cool i said last week you can send me some questions uh send it to my email ryan at r long online.com. I'm going to set up a boy's guest email, but that's, and then say question from the boys in the title. The reason for that is then I can search that and then find all the questions. I got a lot of people sending me questions on

Twitter, Instagram, all that sort of stuff. But the problem is I get so much fucking shit on there. It's very hard to keep up and I try to, but it is like starting to get pretty difficult and I'm kind of figuring out whether I hire someone I don't know what I don't know what I'm figuring it out but so I did get a um you know three or four questions to the email so I'm gonna answer a couple of those questions and if you sent me a question somewhere else send it to here and at the end of the episode I'm gonna try to answer at least a few questions every time so the first one jason nielsen said what do you think of the story of the nine-year-old from australia with the dwarf something ability disability dwarf something disability who gets bullied on his gets bullied and his mom live streamed it on facebook what do you think about

that and then this guy says from one of the boys boys boys i thought when i i watched that video and i saw about two seconds of it and i couldn't watch it because it uh i felt really bad about it so i watched that guy you know the same was the other one crying and whatever and it made me feel like fuck that sucks like whoever wants to like watch someone in that fucking situation and then apparently maybe it came out that he was lying or whatever which didn't really change the fact that i still kind of made him feel bad for him and then when he had that when he came out and there was all these videos of him being like fuck you bitches he's saying the n-word i was kind of like this guy like a bit rules he's so funny so i mean i'm sure that guy's life's hard and i think this was the same as that other kid that was like then they found out that his mom

said something racist or whatever they're trying to ruin his life. I mean, anytime the internet mob turns on someone, it almost doesn't matter what they did. I'm usually fucking empathetic with them. The only exception, and it's not that I don't feel bad for the person, but the only exception for me is when you're the type of person that fucking tries to cancel everyone. Like that's your thing. You're like an internet canceler and then you get canceled and everyone goes through your stuff and cancels like a taste of your own medicine it's not that i fucking want it's not that it makes me happy to see someone in pain but i feel like that is the necessary thing to happen for people to be like oh yeah this is all bullshit it's a lot of times people needed to happen to their friends or their mom

to be like oh this is a load of shit. It's happening to your mom. Your mom needs to get canceled. So you see a fucking kid crying or whatever and you're like, yeah, this fucking sucks. And then you find out that maybe he did something wrong or whatever and then the internet's like fucking turn on him and you're like, fuck you guys, dude, get a life.

And then the other thing, and this is the last one, Lincoln Ackerman says, how did you start your career in tv and comedy so for anyone who just kind of found out about me from all the different things that have been going on in the last little bit I'll give you a fucking 10 second you know 20 second version of like who I am when I was like 15 or 16 I started this band called the John Stones we got pretty famous in Canada we had like a bunch of songs in the top 30 on mtv uh toured for a long time and then kind of had a few other like side projects around the time i was like 21 22 during that whole time i was huge into

making videos so i was always releasing dvds kind of like jackass bam margera tom green style i was releasing all these videos of like me fucking with my parents and bothering people on the streets so that was kind of happening simultaneously with the band while that while all that stuff was happening i was kind of pitching tv shows so kind of in the midst of the band when i was like about 25 ish i sold like a a tv show in canada which was kind of a real tv show kind of cable access but not in the like traditional american cable access because we still did get paid for it and we had like a budget and stuff like that, but it wasn't, uh,

it was, it wasn't, uh, like that network is kind of a, it's a subsidiary of Rogers. It's not like a real traditional national network, although it would air in like a lot of markets. And then that show did really well.

That led to me, that was called crown the town with Ryan long. And there's clips on my YouTube. That show led to me doing a show called Ryan Long is Challenged, which I actually, so both those shows I produced, edited them, did all the things myself, me and all my like five friends. We have a studio in Toronto, Canada, and we'd make all these things. And then I started doing all the videos for the hard times, had like a tons of viral videos. And then while I was doing that, um, and I was doing standup this whole time, then from the hard time stuff, I ended up getting

my CBC series, Torontopia. So for the last three years, I was doing this-up this whole time. Then from the hard time stuff, I ended up getting my CBC series, Torontopia. So for the last three years, I was doing this digital series at CBC. While I've been doing this podcast, while I've been doing stand-up, while I've been doing my other podcast, the Fuckonomics podcast, stand-up, you know, I did stand-up three nights, three times a night for fucking the last 10 years. And then all of that sort of evolved into like what I'm doing now, which is making youtube videos on

the internet for free which is are you happy new york i'm a fucking podcaster yo do me a favor take a screenshot post the boys cast for other people videos come out of my channel every monday podcast comes out of my channel every Friday. All right. Peace, boys, boys, boys.