The Boyscast with Ryan Long - FAUCI HEEL TURN

Episode Date: May 28, 2021

Fauci's Heel Turn, Mask on for Sex, Hilarious Isreal takes, and let's stop calling the police.  New Episode Every Week at patreon.com/theboyscast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And you can tell our friends, and they can have my things when we're dead But we gonna live forever, but we gonna live forever Fellas, fellas, fellas Fellas, fellas, fellas, fellas Pretty sick, my buddy who's in Mad Caddies said they're gonna make an intro song Yeah That is the girls, girls, girls from Mot from motley crew but they're gonna make it with boys boys boys nice sasha dude he fucking rules that's sweet so he said that so that's one thing

that people can be looking forward to a new intro song a couple people have sent me a couple different things over the years but they weren't good uh also i addressed the rumors that i was on coke last episode oh there people were saying you were on the topic that I was on coke last episode. Oh, there were people saying you were on coke? Yeah, that was a topic. That you were on coke for the podcast episode? Well, because I was jazzed up. Yeah. But I'm often jazzed up.

And people will say that. They go, oh, this guy's on coke. I go, I mean, you see me on coke. I go, pal, you'll know if I'm on fucking coke. If I show up to this podcast and I'm coked out, you'll fucking know it. Yeah, this is like your default as a normal, is like me coked out. Like me coked out is your fucking know this is like your default is a normal is like me coked out like me coked out is your my normal yeah but if i'm me coked out it's like i'm grinding the teeth yeah you don't do that i do i grind the teeth i got a whole face thing going on

i go i'm out of control is that what people were you think i'm cutting up other people i cut off myself and we're yeah seriously were people mad they're like is this where my money's going no they weren't mad i think they they were just like, coke much? Coke much? And then I think that... Just so you know, we record this at like, it's 3 p.m. right now. I know. Not a coke hour.

By the way, that's not the first time I've heard that about things I've done. Oh, I'm sure. But like, obviously there's a context. Like, there's one thing if we're like, yeah, it's fucking 2 a.m. And it's like, you know, it's one thing if it's clearly it's clearly late well that's i want to apologize for putting too much energy in yeah that's my bad for being energetic sorry for caring sorry for giving a shit and deciding that you know what i'm gonna put my energy into this instead of showing up some of them yeah that's what next podcast i show up i go yeah boys cast i guess we're doing this. Sounds like some of the fans are coming like naggy girlfriends.

Sorry for caring, Sharon. So before we, there's like, and a bunch of different things, but right out of the gate, because you've been sort of hyped up on this. Yeah. I want to talk about the Fauci thing. Yeah. I do think you've been hyped up on that online. I mean, I found an article that sort of suited your your sentiment yes about the masks yeah well dude i was literally like uh just to cut because you're obviously like where can you wear a mask i got my haircut the other day and they're like they're

like a masked haircut place and i'm like if i come back here for my next haircut and you're still a mask place i'm not getting my haircut here yeah you know you showed up like dude i'm like but i'm like honestly i've become sold out like i'm becoming an anti-masker, but only because I'm like, when does this end? I've seen, though, all your social media, all your TikToks. Everything is mass content. You've been jazzed up about it. Whereas I'm a little less jazzed up about it because I don't obey rules like you. Whereas if I go to a place-

I'm the latest anti-masker. I go to the convenience store and they go, put the mask on. I go, I'm not putting the mask on. Whereas you, you see the sign and you go ah no i'm not gonna be like looking that guy was like no i'm if i go to get a haircut and the guy says put a mask on i'm not gonna be like uh i walked in without a mask and go hey do you have a mask i go all right here we go with this bullshit well i just love fauci because he switches so So basically, and kind of I'm saying this where it's like the amount of takes

and opinions that were blasphemous six months ago that are now currently the mainstream opinion. The craziest one is, I don't know if you're talking about this, but the lab one.

Obviously, that's the centerpiece. Yeah. So literally, everything that was you're the biggest racist in the world, you know, you're my biggest racist in the world. You know, you're my crazy uncle. Twitter literally suspended Zero Hedge for tweeting that there was potential.

This is happening all over the place. It's the same thing as the Israel thing, which I'm not going to go into right now, but the, where there's legitimately people in mainstream, uh, mainstream thought that are putting ideas. They got people banned from every platform in the world six months ago. But the Fauci thing is so funny because he's done that with everything.

Where he goes, you know, the masks. And then he was like, no masks. Then he was, this is like his 10th time. We're six months later. So I was just, I was loving the idea of a sketch where it's um fauci comes out and he was like honestly i'm just such a nice guy i wanted everyone to be right so i wanted everyone to have a turn being right because all the people that were saying it didn't happen in a lab they had a time to be right i felt bad so i was like and i know that i'm the guy that just you know

science decides who's right yeah so i just think it's fun for everyone for everyone to have a turn to be right. Imagine, I was saying six months. I would be appreciating Fauci more if he's just trying to fuck with the conspiracy people. Like he goes, ah, let's just take it

for a fucking loop right now. Well, I think Fauci's going to come out with everything like that. I think in six months, Fauci's going to be like, you know what? You guys are right.

We do need to address the J-Dub. He's going to start, yeah, he's going to start using the term scamdemic. Fauci, yeah, Fauci reposts the scamdemic. The scamdemic stuff, yeah. That's what he's going to be and he's going start yeah he's gonna start using the term scamdemic fauci uh fauci repost the scamdemic that's what he's gonna be and he's gonna be you know actually race iq is a convo that we need he's like on stefan molyneux's like fucking bit shoot like uh just a retweet from fauci i uh that's me fauci just want to say that um after some reflection and we've done some of the science and i want to say chinese

people actually are about it driving like based fauci uh fauci's gonna come out and be you know i just want to say again you know science is always changing and we went back to the test tubes and after looking at that it turns out rand paul kind of rules yeah totally imagine him and rand paul are just like buddies now. Fauci comes out, wage gaps a myth. Yeah, just everything. This BLM thing.

Fauci just comes out. He goes, hey, I'm not, you know, this BLM thing, like, they probably should have had masks on there. That could have spread the virus.

Yeah, I imagine he goes, in hindsight, probably shouldn't have made them special rules. I was loving also the idea of, I was talking to the chick she's like um uh just kind of jokingly when i was paying for everything and she was like well you know that's covering the wage gap and i was like yeah maybe the wage gap in iran yeah seriously like in what currency yeah the wage gap of fucking saudi Saudi Arabia, maybe, would be this lopsided.

Yeah, seriously. Like where you're legally not allowed to work, maybe. Yeah, maybe that wage gap. What's the gap between zero and whatever I'm making? I think Fauci's going to come out. Because he's obviously like, Fauci's a chick, right? So he's going to come out with the chick thing and just be like, you know, this is all just part of my journey. Yeah, totally.

He goes, listen, I've been thinking about this whole thing. And yeah like you know this is all just part of my journey yeah totally he goes listen i i've been thinking about this whole thing and yeah you know what i said that you couldn't wear masks and i said you wear them then i said it was not allowed no i said and that's something that i had to just experience this is probably stupid what's his official position uh doggy style getting fucked what is like what's his job his position. He's the head of... Head cuck. Head cuck, I guess. Cuck and chief. Woo! Cuck and chief. Snort a line.

That is everything. Did you see that thing on the Eurovision? Yeah, the song competition or whatever. No, what? So you know they have that Eurovision, and then there was that movie with Will Ferrell. There's this big European song competition thing. It's huge in Europe. And so this band that won,

as they're winning it's like this this uh like basically glam rock band from like that looks like from the 80s these italian guys and then like the cameras on them and like basically as they're being announced the winner it looks like the guy just goes and does like a rail of coke like on like live tv based in fucking like you know the biggest show in europe like it's probably as big as like soccer. Okay. They don't know. And so then they made him take like a drug test and he's like, so they made him take a drug test to prove.

And he's like, I don't do drugs. They made her take a drug test. But the thing with Coke is cause he's like, I'll do it when I get back home or whatever. He's like, I'll take a drug test to prove it. But like Coke notoriously doesn't stay in your system very long.

Yeah. Like my friend's a pilot and he's like, they say like, if you're going to do any drug, do Coke cause it's gone in your system. So then he's like, don't worry. It's like when I get back, I'll, I'll, I'll. This guy sounds like he rules.

But like there's a video of him and he goes, I was just cleaning up broken glass. That's what he says. Someone broke a glass and he was like, I was clean. But it was like, he literally like his face drops out of. Our body had the best joke. I can't remember who it was, but he was in, uh, in Vancouver. What's, what's a Dino's buddy's name? Dino's buddy's name. I don't know. What did it look what the fuck i can't remember whatever it doesn't matter but he was like uh he said

always stuck with me yeah i think so and he was like uh when you went to the airport and he said the guy took him to the room and they go uh we found coke on your toothbrush. And he goes, well, I guess that makes sense because I do Coke. He's like, what are you going to do? He found a trace of Coke. He's like, I don't have Coke. Who knows if he actually said that. But this is the story he was dealt. Well, I don't know if I told you this.

My friend, he was coming back. This is in probably late November, early December. I was talking to him. And he's from amsterdam and he lives in toronto and he was coming back from toronto but this is when you had to do the whole like two week like you know and you have to fill out the forms in toronto and he basically like didn't and he tried to bypass it and just kind of like sneak out of the airport and they like caught him yeah and then they like took him into this room and it was so dead at the time that he's like he thinks they were trying to train somebody like trying to train on somebody yeah yeah but they were like trying to train like

the whatever border officer guy so that's what like at least what his thought was so they were like basically you know they did the whole thing and they found coke on his toothbrush he's like i don't fucking like he's basically like i don't know and then they were like really giving him the shit where they're like we're gonna tear and he goes you know what he's like grab me a bucket because they were saying like maybe he had like swallowed drugs. He goes, he's coming from Amsterdam, which is big. He goes, grab me a bucket. He's like, I'm going to shit in a bucket right now.

He's like, you want me to? And then that's when they basically were like, all right, you can go. You got to go crazy. He went crazy. He goes, give me a fucking bucket. There was a lady that went crazy at the airport recently. Another Karen video was going. There's the Karen thing where she was yelling and she goes I want to speak to the manager

of the airport it's pretty funny it's funny when you're like I mean anyone flipping out of the airport even if it's like someone I literally would hate I see them and I go I get it oh for sure anyone flipping out of the airport I'm on their side no matter what I go I get it but yeah I was

like the idea that every girl because I see so many every every girl I know this one the the number one thing no matter what they do it'll be part of their journey like they got fired from their job you know cheated on their boyfriends like you know what that was part of me you know just becoming a woman I had to go through that right you know what I mean you're like yeah you drowned your kids you're like walking away from the you're walking away as your kids are being drowned you're like you know what the journey of a woman a woman's journey they're crying in the background

just need to focus on me a little bit she puts her headphones in that was yeah put the headphones in that's something that i needed to go through um but yeah it's so funny because feci does all that stuff and i go i was kind of thinking i go imagine a world imagine just for a second we lived in a world i feel like this is like the start of a movie trailer imagine a world imagine a world where people cared as much about journalists and politicians lying as they did about comedians making offensive jokes just imagine a specific world but i got so this article um because this is something that danny has been souped up about all i have been it's weird too and his best friend uh deleted him from all social

media because he's an anti-masker yeah my best friend he's not an anti-asser though i love that remember when that's all anyone to every comedian was like i fucking eat so much ass yeah it was like i became a hat literal hack joke. Think about it. That's how fucking lame comedy is, where it's like a hack joke. Was I talking about eating ass? Because too many people were doing it. Too many people had jokes about...

I did go to someone else. You go, in your joke about eating ass, do you, you know? Do you like talk about how you like go around the rim counterclockwise? Yeah, it's... Like, there's definitely some comic. Has anybody ever done

a thing where they're eating ass and there was poo yes i think that one's that may have happened well it's be it all was the edgy it's all the like fake edgy thing where you want you wanted to be like shocking or whatever but no one you're like i don't want to talk about anything that's actually you know you're not supposed to talk about there was like so it's like what if i talk about eating ass there was oh i'm sorry there was like literally like a six month period where the crowds didn't have just like a visceral negative reaction to the topic coming up like now when it comes up it's just people are like oh he's one of those comics here we go oh another eating ass comic but what genre of comic are you? Do you talk about culture? Do you do men, women?

Are you an ass eating guy? Ass eating. And you go, yeah, mainly ass eating. Mainly ass eating. So this guy, and this is just, I think that this will drive you nuts. Yeah. Dear Prudence. So if you know what Dear Prudence is, it's on the slate.

Yeah, it's like similar. And people ask her questions. And I went through a few of them. So basically the the questions a lot of them uh the gist is they'll be you know my dad's really into trump and then she'll be like never talk to your dad ever again of course she there was this one girl she was like i was a black girl and i was right after this article she was i was adopted by two adopted white parents and they're posting about you know coronavirus conspiracies as she put it and she was like you know what like just because they raised you doesn't mean you need to have them in your life isn't the thing that stephan molyneux literally got like the most controversy

about besides the race iq stuff what was the defuing shit where he was defueling it was that was the thing that stephan molyneux people had a real problem with where people would tell him his problems and he goes you need to cut your family off from you oh he was big into that Stefan Molyneux, people had a real problem with where people would tell him his problems. He goes, you need to cut your family off from you. Oh, he was big into that? That's his thing. And everybody gave him a lot of shit for it. Being like, dude, that's fucked up that you tell people to leave their whole family over some minor thing. I bet you when he got in trouble for that, he was like, really, this?

Yeah, I know. Well, even on Rogan, the last time he was on Rogan, that that was brought up that about this was like this big controversy. Yeah. Well, I kind of do get the idea of, um, taking, keeping people that are negative out of your life. And a lot of people, their parents,

it's like every time they call their parents, their parents are kind of like these and, and the conversation, they're in a bad mood. Sure. Join me. Cause they don't get what you're doing, but you do have,

I think the real answer to that is you need to um you need to train yourself to not be because you need to call your fucking mom you need you know whatever every whatever it is if you see them once a month or once every two months like you don't just cut you don't have to cut those people out but you do need to find a way that there's so many people they every time you get off the phone with your fucking dad they like make you feel like shit So I think a lot of people, you gotta figure that out You gotta be more bulletproof Don't get into it with them, keep it surface level

Of course Literally, that's the point of talking about the weather So many people are looking for the approval And then they call and they put themselves in that It's almost like a girl that Doesn't want to fuck you And she's around and it would have been fine if you're like want to fuck and she's like you know and now you're mad again of course it was like you just

need to accept that they're you have to not be dependent on their fucking approval absolutely but you can which is hard for some people well the trick to that a big trick is just remembering that they're just a just a guy yeah like so many you have your parents oh my but really you go it's just a fucking dude my mom's just a dude. I would get skewered if I said that. Be like Robot Danny. My mom is just a woman. It's just a dude.

By the way, I watched. Did you know that there's this new Borat show that he goes and lives with those two guys? And it's like this fake. It is so bad. So, OK, remember in the second Borat movie Okay Where he meets those two guys And he's like Can I quarantine with you And there are those two

Oh I saw that Yeah it was in the movie So anyways They made a full show Out of it as well And it's like Almost like a TLC Like weird

Funny like show Where this guy goes And lives with these two guys But it's like Yeah that sounds like A piece of shit I watched like the first Like 15 minutes of it last night

And I was like this That sounds unwatchable it's so bad okay he doesn't he can't even hold the accent and it's really we're jumping around sorry i'm gonna no no if we're jumping around i was gonna mention because sasha baron cohen i've been saying forever uh for the last three weeks that you know mr mr israel didn't really want to comment on this right yeah and i i've been sort of every once in a while, I jump around a few of those people's pages. I go, what is this person? Yeah, he's got a new...

Okay, so he posted, this is what Sacha Baron Cohen posted, and we'll go back to the COVID article, but Sacha Baron Cohen posted, he said, the surge of anti-Semitism on the streets is fueled by anti-Semitism on social media, at Jack, at Twitter, and then uh stop jewish hate uh and then why do you allow the hit the hashtag hitler was right so sasha baron cohen's like one of the most complicated you know fucking things of all time everyone's uh picking a side and no one knows

what to do and he's like this started on twitter he thinks it's Jack Dorsey's fault it's Jack Dorsey's fault how fucking wild is that he goes legitimately Sacha Baron Cohen thinks that Israel-Palestine conflict because of fucking Jack Dorsey allows it and the best part about these hashtags is so the Hitler was right hashtag like one

person posts it and then Sacha Baron Cohen reposts it and then thata Baron Cohen reposts it. That's how it gets trending. Because you can almost find any hashtag, right? And then he reposts it. And then a million people. I looked through the hashtag.

Literally zero people supporting it. Every single person is like, can you believe this is trending? And it's like, because you keep posting it. I've seen a bunch of stuff like that where you see something trending. Oh, this is fucked up. And then it's all people being like, yeah, this is- It's not trending. It's reverse trending. Well, but it is trending.

It's trending how bad it is. Right. It's trending how bad it is. But- Hitler was wrong is what's trending. But because they don't have a dislike button on Twitter, they don't, the algorithm can't tell the difference. Isn't that wild?

Yeah, yeah. They make, so it's like, you really are in a fucking information war where these people can make anything trend. And then they go, look, this is trending. You have a big enough platform. You could be like, you know, Ryan's a pussy. And then retweet it. Ryan's a pussy's trending.

And they go, well, it is now. And you go, I don't know what my political point would be. Well, I think the main thing, though, is Jack Dorsey would straight up be like, yeah, it's trending because you just tweeted this it wasn't trending before we're not changing i don't know if that's what jack dorsey would do i think jack dorsey would be like you're so right we do need to work on that but the elizabeth warren posted uh that's another one i've been following everyone i have a i'm gonna make a video i watched her have some big exchange yesterday with this dude from the bank oh i'm sure that was fun. She goes, anti-Semitism has no place in our country or world.

Also, Islamophobia has no place in our country and world. We need to stand together and condemn all forms of bigotry. So that should also solve the whole thing. Fixed it. It's like basically the problem with Israel and Palestine is there's a lot of people in America that hate Jews and a lot of people in America that hate Islam. Islamists. But yeah, you go, this is legitimately the equivalent

like this kind of takes or is the equivalent of your parents or two people are fighting like a couple and then the guy like beat up the girl and then the girl cheated on with all their friends and all this stuff. And then people are saying like, oh, taking his side and she shouldn't hit him,

whatever, all this stuff. And you go, we need to stop Doug phobia and we need to stop Linda phobia. People are like good, very fine people on both sides or whatever. But again, it's like, she's a politician. Like she didn't just tweet that. She's probably like her team.

I know it's hilarious. But the point of the whole thing is you go just admit that you guys don't have any views just admit you have no fucking views you go you put you take the temperature you put your finger up you take the weather and obviously but then next next time you're pretending to cry for a speech you go we all seen you flipping and flopping around we all see oh yeah the next time there's a fucking anything uh next time sasha baron cohen is out there uh blaming something on anything if you go no this one's actually jack dorsey's fault anything that happens to me for

now on i'm gonna take the sasha baron cohen approach and go this is actually jack dorsey's fault and then none of the uh late night hosts that talked about it so zero late night hosts they all of a sudden they're out of politics now oh they didn't talk jimmy kimmel didn't want to None of the late night hosts talked about it. So zero late night hosts. They all of a sudden are out of politics now. Oh, they didn't talk about it? Jimmy Kimmel didn't want to touch it with a fucking 15-foot pole. He's out of politics right now. Late night television right now is 100% funny anecdotes. That's the only thing they do.

I was watching. It's like legitimately all these Hollywood people do is they go to like lunch with other hollywood people and like walk around beverly hills trying to bump into them so they have like a funny story about the time they bumped into jack nicholson right that's out if you haven't watched if you look at one of these pages every clip is like the time you know i was walk i i got i was walking my dog and then uh into jim Jim Carrey. That's it. And then they're like, hey, Trump sucks. That's the whole thing. And then Mark Ruffalo... Oh, I saw that.

He posted... Based Mark Ruffalo. Based Mark Ruffalo. He backtracked. So Mark Ruffalo goes, you know, fucking juicer, genocide or whatever. And then he came back and he goes, honestly? You know what's funny too? I've educated myself.

The funniest thing, too, is like regardless of if he was like, you know, maybe he has Jewish friends or everybody who are like, yo, look, like it's not an actual genocide. What's going on? Like the fact is, if tell that to fucking but in 2021, early May, Mark Ruffalo. I mean, it's been said, but it's like if the Israelis wanted to genocide the Palestinians, they could do it in a minute. Like it would be. Is that a threat? Yeah. Fuck.

Mr. Polishekstein. Yeah. But the funny thing is with Mark Ruffalo is the comments of that. Everybody's like, oh, the fucking Jews do run Hollywood. Look who he's scared to criticize. Like everybody's go straight to like, oh, someone had some little bit. Well, I mean, sure. would just go straight to like oh someone had some a little bit well i i mean sure i doubt you don't think there's a little bit of mark ruffalo fucking taking a hard stance on that and after

he's been taking up four years of hard stances that just get him patted on the back and then he gets a hard stance and like all his agents all his managers are like what the fuck are you doing bro and he goes i thought that's what we were saying i thought i thought that's what i'm consistent if anything i thought that's what we thought well just tell me what we thought so i they're basically are they get the script and then they go to the reward show and they go i am so sad about how bad trump is it It is, honestly, though. If you're a fucking... Fuck, it makes me laugh so much, dude. Running a network right now and you're Jewish, pretty tough spot. Because if you go too pro-Jewish, then people are like, see?

It's a really delicate... If you are a guy, they're going to... But then if you do nothing, you got to be like the... The head of Viacom says, no, we don't. Yeah, exactly, right? And then if you do nothing, then all your family's like, yo, what the fuck? What are you doing? What are you doing? There, what are you doing? Like, there's this whole thing. And that's what I'm saying. It is the first thing where there's kind of actually repercussions for, for these people having an opinion. And I love it. I'm like, yeah, see, you fucking see what happens when you minor of repercussions, though, most minor repercussions to me, having to fucking show your hand that you're a coward to me isn't a minor repercussion well i'm talking about career wise i guess like mark ruffalo is like he's

gonna go back to doing his yeah because he had to do that yeah so anyways this article says dear prudence i've been married to a great guy for five and a half years married he is handsome sexy funny and kind. Opposite of Danny Polshuk, she says. He has always been a little- Fuck you, Prudence. He's always been a little prissy about illness, but I never thought it was a real problem.

During the pandemic, however, his terror about getting sick has reached new levels. For the past year, he refused to take off his face mask, even while we were at home, just the two of us. So they're living together, and he won't take off his face mask even while we were at home just the two of us so he won't they're living together and he won't take off the mask this is even this is even true now that he is fully vaccinated so danny's blood is boiling he wears it to sleep yeah wears it to sleep that's fucking crazy and to do most of his bathroom activities and i mean i could i've taken some shits though And I mean, I guess I've and yes, it's though. And yes, during lovemaking.

No, stop. This is a lie. It's it's not a lie. It's dear prudence. Even dear prudence was like, this is a lot in that wild. There's a guy out there. So it is kind of it basically is a guy that's what you might call it, like a germ, a germ, a germ, a howie mandel.

It's howie Mandel. Imagine before you thought anything I touch I might get sick or whatever. Guess what? It's everywhere. It's in the air. It's everywhere. You're going to die. Everyone's dying. This guy's fucking brain is fried.

He's having sex with his wife. What do you mean? Why would she lie? He's going to the bathroom. He takes having sex with his wife. No, that I... What do you mean? Why would she lie? He's going to the bathroom. He takes a shower with his mask on. To me,

sleeping with a mask... He showers with a mask on. He's like fucking soaping his face. He like pulls it off, soaps it up, gets it in there. They're out there.

Yeah. I'm telling you, they're out there. I mean, it's like Howard Hughes, basically. Who's Howard Hughes? He's, remember, he was the big tycoon guy,

and they did the parody of him in The Simpsons where he saw germs everywhere, and he was wearing Kleenex boxes on his feet and all that shit. Yeah, it is that guy. Yeah. Well, and he says, I've tried to present him with the science.

He says, scientists don't fully understand the virus yet. I know this isn't probably necessary, but wearing it doesn't bother me. So if there's even a small chance it can protect us i'd rather be safe on the safe side what's the harm and it's it's so funny because you go you literally people a lot of people have just the inability to fucking take their logic and then apply it everywhere else you go yeah there's honestly no harm of wearing a helmet outside either. Yeah. When you're walking down the street, why don't you wear a helmet? That's literally what I said to Pat.

Pat, what'd you say to him? I said that. He goes, he goes, so this comic. Oh, the comic. Yeah. Yeah. And because he's like, well, you know, isn't there, isn't it possible that you can transmit COVID if a vaccinated person can transmit COVID to somebody outdoors?

And I'm like, if you're vaccinated, someone's not vaccinated wearing a mask outdoors. Like, I don't know, one in 10 million. Like, why don't you walk around wearing a helmet all the time? Why don't you walk around wearing a bubble? Yeah. They've legitimately become bubble boys. He does not change his mask very often. It's often smelly and soiled.

So he does take it off the shower. There's one thing you'd be like, you're like a germaphobe, but then like an unhygienic germaphobe that's sounding more like howard hughes too it's like the lack of hygiene it's like this is like a mental issue well these people have all lost their minds and i don't know if you've seen but fucking meanwhile in canada well this shit's going on do you see trudeau true don't true so he comes out and he says he's gonna censor the internet and he has this big bill yeah i've been reading about that for a while now yeah get your but it's like the fucking audacity when your country's like the only one locked down everyone's fucking you know having a conniption my mom is on her wits end and And then you have this guy out here going,

we should fucking lock down on the, you know, we should lock down your minds. Do you know what the problem is? Isn't that crazy? And it's, he goes, prime minister Justin Trudeau has a plan to regulate speech on the internet

by placing it under control of the Canadian radio, television and communications commission. The amount. And so whatever, that's what's going on but you go the fucking probably good priorities right now and i don't think it's going to go through but the fucking the same thing happened where they just recently did they said uh three they call of duty banned 350 accounts for racist names and toxic behavior. Yeah. And I was just watching it being like, do you guys want Trump?

Because this is how you get Trump. Yeah. Legitimately. I go, have you learned nothing? Yeah. Have these people learned nothing? I would like to know what constitutes toxic behavior these days on Call of Duty.

Well, your nickname was like, you know, fucking. Yeah, it was like some like. John, and it didn't have a hashtag. It didn't have your pronouns in it. Right, right. Yeah yeah do you see that uh instagram now lets you put your pronouns i know and then people are mad because it doesn't have enough pronouns of course well you can have it's give them an inch they fucking want two inches like 42 like girls right hey there's like 42 pronouns and all those people are like where am am I? I'm not represented. Speaking of pronouns, I watched the

Jordan Peterson documentary on Amazon. I watched that at Stand Up New York. They did a premiere. Oh, and then Brovodani was in it

right in the beginning. Really? Everybody we know from Toronto, Toronto Batman. Well, with all these, so this is kind of a,

maybe a weird point, but with all this fucking just watching the like everyone with the israel palestine just fucking their things shattering and all these people losing their brains over fucking all this shit it was kind of like because so all right how do i put this i almost when i was doing the videos right like a lot of times i'm like i don't want to get in fights with people and stuff like that right and then i literally because i i did a lot and i had kind of got two videos done i literally woke up yesterday being like who the fuck wants to go because i'm i'm like i have a i kind of had like three or four days yeah so a lot of me i so for one i'm like it's impossible to really be making anything really great because you go

to sleep thinking about that like even when you're doing stand-up really properly or anything you're going to sleep thinking about that you're waking up thinking about that so I don't think anyone that's arguing on Twitter all day long or in feuds all day long is could really be making anything that great but when I had a few seconds I was lit I was I was literally ready to go I'm like is it too late to like quote tweet a guy that said some shit to me four years ago? I was looking back. I go, I could get back into it with that guy. I'm like, I should make a fucking reaction to this guy.

And I'm like, yeah, it was a week and a half. So I was getting kind of hyped up on that stuff. But one of the things that I was saying about how to be really good and the people that are, uh, great versus the ones that aren't. I think that one of the, there's almost this thing where sometimes you'll do a video and then six months later, it's almost like that doesn't need to be said anymore. Right?

So people are like, Oh, you say this thing, you almost look back, you go, well, no, I said that at the time I felt like it needed to be said.

And like the difference is when people talk a lot about the idea of, let's say you are kind of like trailblazing to some degree in some sort of sense, whether that's like idea-wise or something else, right? The problem that most people do is they stop adding to the conversation and they start being a mouthpiece for it. Yeah. Because, you know what I mean? People will be like,

well, why don't you say this on this? And you go, well, everyone's saying it now. Yeah, I mean, you're not thinking like... Yeah, so I think that so many people, what they screw up is they essentially just become like the mouthpiece. It's like a, instead of being,

imagine you were like a scientist, right? And you're working in a lab and you were sort of making stuff. And then once you guys kind of have your little niche, you just become a publicist for it. Essentially. Yeah. Well,

you did your work and now you're just a lot of these people. It's almost like resting on your laurels. You're like, you did the big thing and now you're just kind of coasting on it. And it's easier and you could probably grow more in a lot of ways whatever you're doing by just sort of you know uh yeah just making the being the mouthpiece for like consensus of people that agreed with you but i think that but again it's like the path of least resistance is especially when you have an audience is saying stuff that they're all going to agree with and you have a

bunch of people yelling at you. I know. And I think a lot of times that's why people spiral too when you see people really spiraling because you almost, you almost, the only other, unless you fucking are constantly like innovating, you just kind of need to be the more of that. You know what I mean? Like let's say someone was like an edgy guy on the internet right the other way to do is like i'll just say what's the most people are saying i'll say like one above that like how what's your fucking joke okay i'm gonna go more racist right right like you know what i mean which we know

those people yeah and you just kind of try to one-up that because it's that almost takes less thought too so i think that those are all the sort of pathways that people go down. The edgiest is like by default is almost. The Seth Rogen thing, if you saw that, right? Yeah, the cancel culture. Yeah, and everyone, I thought that was kind of like a perfect example about that where it's like everyone sort of talks about it or whatever.

But it does really expose like seth rogan's fake edginess because you go that's what i sort of thought about it it's like obviously seth rogan's gonna be like oh what's he's gonna say what he thought yeah you know yeah exactly he's gonna say that this was like oh i'm a fucking stoner that's what i'm saying it was illegal but but the i would love to find the like make have someone to make a compilation of all the times he was like i thought we were gonna get fucking in trouble with the studio like i'm surprised they even made us make that the only thing like the amount of times the north korea the amount of times that he went all all all about like being

like i can't believe we were not and then now he says that you go yeah because it was fake like you were you were the north korea movie one is the only one that's maybe valid, but I guess so. But like, what was going to happen to him? He didn't live in fucking North Korea. Well, they were like worried about, uh, no, my friend worked on that movie. I told you. And like, they were actually like worried about, uh, fuck. I can't remember what it was.

You think that's a fucking hard stance to take in America that, you know, to make fun of North Korea? No, it's like, I wasn't making, I can't remember. Fuck. I can't remember what he said, but he's like, they actually did like run into some potential issues where like they were, you don't want like the North Korean government after like,

Oh, whatever. That's so ridiculous. They're there. They live on the other side of the world. It's fucking, you live in fucking Hollywood. What the worst that's going to happen is maybe what they did that hacked him or

something. You got zero threat. Everyone's on your team Oh personally no threat Yeah yeah Yeah of course Yeah yeah Financially

Career wise Or physically Anyway but The I thought that was But yeah but to be like Oh super bad That was pretty risky

Yeah Which whatever Like that movie was fine But It was a great movie They all miss They go Oh you know

Some jokes don't age well and you go oh my god it's like like where do you start you go yes it's obviously like puritanism that is a culture like when they call it a culture when you have literally people digging through everyone's stuff you go yes you're right if fucking people get mad they can get mad and some jokes don't age well but there's a difference between that and an entire like arm of the fucking media and entertainment that's dedicated to digging through years of people's stuff like that's why it's called a culture and you go the and it's because it's like and it's because the norm to do's because it's like, and it's because the norm to do that now,

it's like, that's what we go. Like when politicians used to, they would call it attack ads. When you go through and you go, we found out that this guy punched out a guy in a bar and the fucking, and you go, this guy says he's cares for the people,

but he knocked out a military veteran in a bar fight. Like they, yeah, of course. It's just like straight up. That's what they do to you. Yeah. Now that's what they do to people. Well, it's also because they don't have like any proper journal like that's what they think journalism has become is like removing uh entertainer yeah

and also on top of that there's this idea with people like that where they're always talking about um you know the opinion well opinions change a lot like so many people that talk about that they go well you know the thing changes you know it's like so Well, opinions change a lot. Like, so many people that talk about that, they go, well, you know, the thing changes. You know, it's like, so is there anything that you actually think? Do you know what I mean? Like, if every time I saw you, you go, yeah, I have this new set of opinions that changed.

Yeah, they changed. I mean, obviously, like, comedy doesn't, you know, lots of comedy doesn't age well. Yeah, but a lot of comedy doesn't age well for the reasons of cultural. That's the shit I'm saying kind of before, where it like, yeah, when Jerry Seinfeld was making fun of shampoo bottles, after five years, then someone else took that too far. And then eventually everyone just gets sort of tired of that.

Yeah, it becomes hacky. You basically find this thing and then other comedians copy you to the point that the thing you originated becomes hacky. Exactly. And that's to say that it sucks or whatever and that's fine but to say opinions where you go this is how i kind of interface with the world and if that changes every four years you go so you think nothing yeah you think you go what do you mean like what's except guys our opinions change yeah you just think we all changed and you go yeah i mean i've said that before but what a coincidence path of least resistance what a coincidence that it happens at the that you happen to change at the exact same time that the acceptability changed like

what a cool fucking coincidence the easiest thing to do so um i was moving on from that the one quick thing was because i i've been sort of going on to interviews and i've been we had this conversation here too where people go you know uh they the opposite end of that is like yeah but whatever they can do their cancel thing it'd be that it's like and i've been accused of being like too optimistic a couple times by people being saying well you just um uh like i'm too positive on the future yeah whereas people are you know people it's it sells more on every side to be like this is a disaster like you know wokeness is gonna ruin the world or whatever. Right. Well, I don't know. I mean, I think that, so I think that my fucking opinion on that, which I wanted to say was, it's not that I'm okay.

So the first part about that is like, I went to, I had another like series of industry conversations where, cause we're talking about doing that. We're doing this movie. And I was talking to the manager and those guys about the, what the, and they were basically like, yeah, just yeah just we did a we kind of did a round of meetings about different things and it's like there's zero chance that they're making anything

with like a white guy like that it's just of course what it which is it's basically uh the ir no irish irish need not apply yeah essentially which is kind of funny that went full circle back to no irish yeah well that's what we were saying last episode with like in Canada, they hired all those people for CDC. And you're like, yeah, nobody we know is working. No, of course. But the thing that I was kind of saying was, so I guess I've been dealing with this my whole life because I've never been in the mainstream thing. So I think certain people, this is coming out of nowhere. They go, all of a sudden, what I thought was the main thing hates me or whatever right whereas me i'm

like i was everything i've done was like despite the fact that i was who i was like even when we were the fucking you know the crazy punk band we would get on tv and stuff like that despite they didn't want those kind of bands yes when i was i mean even as far as when i played sports and when i was in like the school play and it was like you know okay we're gonna pick you for this part like we want you to be the lead but like we really didn't want to like you know because you're a fucking not nuisance yeah you're a nuisance i mean you know of course how much and then literal nuisance managers agents have been like that where they like we want to sign you but it's like you know you're a problem so before this stuff i've my whole life has been by the way when they say

you're a problem you're doing the thing with the knife through the hands while they're like ryan you're a bit of a problem and you're like what so i've never been in this in that stuff so that's a part of it where this is more aggressive and it's racially motivated or whatever it is. But I go, but also, this has been my whole life up until this point. It's just a different version of that, of the mainstream. Now the mainstream is the race. But more importantly, and then I think the best argument they make is go,

well, easy for someone to say, but I go, what if you're 50 and you are about to lose your job or whatever if for saying your opinions and then to that i'm like yes but i'm not fucking talking to 50 year olds so that's a separate conversation but i go my fucking fans base is not 50 i'm talking to people that are 20 and 30 and i'm sort of saying if you look at this thing and you go oh this is like a bad place i I'm not going to be able to thrive here. Yeah, you should change it. You know what I mean?

Yeah, absolutely. Even if you're 40, like you still have time. Even if you're 40 and you work at like a big tech company and you make 300 grand a year, fucking keep your head down for three years. Don't spend a lot of money. Save 500 grand and you could do something else and you still have plenty of time. So I'm always like back to the individual thing where I'm like, no, not saying this stuff doesn't suck i go i'm saying for you it doesn't have to yeah that's kind of i mean i've been for many years especially friends of ours in

entertainment who are like just because so many people had like didn't ever want to like even address that because they're like oh i don't want to like come off as being racist or whatever yeah and then you're like you have no sense of self-preservation at all because what's going to happen is you're going to willfully be like yeah don't pick me and then they're just going to like move on without you so funny watching people and then and then it's going to be you're going to be so far gone and you're going to realize like oh like my whole career is over because i just was kind of like you know thought like someone should take my place or blah, blah. Yeah.

And then you're like, yeah, and you're not ever working again. Right. And entertainment. And you're like, because you didn't, you didn't want to come off as like racist five years ago. You were worried that what people would think. So you'd kept your mouth shut. But the regardless, the outcome is you not working.

Like either you said something then you don't work or you said something now you, or you didn't say something and you don't work either way but all paths lead to that but one path at least go out guns blazing exactly but i think a lot of those people at least they didn't have to get like yelled at and they're you know they didn't have to get socially shamed exactly some people don't have that constitution they don't to take it and i get all that stuff but i go everyone has the constitution to like look at the fucking world and go okay how can i win the best you know and honest to god maybe it's in the fucking feminism years maybe it is the fucking time for some dudes the laziest dude in

the world to be like yeah dude get my fucking covid check i'm gonna fucking uh find a girl that makes more money than me and i'm gonna stay at home and play video games like maybe that was the dream but there's always a way to win for who you are of course if your goal was let me do as little as possible and now i'm getting flack because i'm not the fucking right thing on my work i go maybe it's time to find a sugar mama there's always those they don't the women don't want that yeah but you can find it you just find you can find it i'm just saying it's one of a million things. I know two people that have that.

Yeah. We know lots of comics. They're fucking, you know, they sold the girl on the dream of like, baby, I'm going to be fucking Dave Chappelle. Right. And now you make 20 grand a year and the girl makes 60 grand a year and you go, yeah, we make 80 grand a year. Oh, yeah. Also, can I have an advance on my allowance? Yeah, exactly.

So anyways, that's's i think that when people say i'm positive i go yeah i mean obviously you can look at this stuff and go it's crazy but i'm more so i go what what the fuck are you what's your yeah it's the how to win speaking of the well but i also agree with the for being positive is because watching the peterson thing and it's like all these negative people really are giving oxygen to this fire that would not be there regard like the peterson thing you watch it and you go like if they just didn't give him this like counter protest he would have had a video with fucking 20 000 youtube views i know and like if they didn't make this whole spectacle going against him and like you know

blaring their speakers and like trying to basically like, pull the microphone out of his hand. It would have been nothing. He would have not been touring. He would have been a fucking U of T professor. Well, authoritarianism doesn't fucking let one slip, do they? But again, but it's like, it was the... They picked the wrong villain with Peterson when they were like,

let's fucking take this guy down. And you go, he was like, is that all you got? But I'm saying, like, it like it's you know if you pick your battles incorrectly you actually will like make what you yeah that's a good point you know like it's so when you're saying you're optimistic you're like yeah the more complainers the better it's literally the fucking johnny blanco from johnny from the billy from the block or whatever and uh in uh that mob movie where it's the new guy that comes out and the old guys like dismiss him of them.

Like, Oh, whatever. Like, we'll just go punk this guy around and that'll be the end of it. And then you like, he's been sitting there stewing and building a fan base coming for you for the rest of the years.

But that's right. With John Cena, you know, everyone was kind of like, he's a bit, you know, he could speak Chinese. That was the thing.

Everybody was like, he's, I was like, he speaks Chinese. They were so mad. I was like, the dude speaks like pretty, he's a bitch. I didn't know he could speak Chinese. That was the thing. Everybody was like, he's, I was like, he just speaks Chinese. They were so mad. I was like, the dude speaks like pretty, he speaks Chinese.

His apology. Are you sure he wasn't just like doing a mocking it? Like, Hey, I know. Dude, I imagine he did though. He came out and he goes,

also, I'm going to apologize in Chinese. Ching Chong. Ding dong. And they go, is that it? I'm sorry. I'm still working on it.

No, no, no. I fucking listened. I watched that video because Dino Archie posted it. And I watched it. And I was like, oh, he speaks pretty good Mandarin. Interesting. You can tell. You can tell someone who's reading a phonetic thing versus speaks it.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, Tim Ferriss always talks about how he can speak Chinese. He loves that about himself. No, Japanese. But he lived in Japan. He loves thatapan he loves that john cena you could tell john cena was like oh this is probably a good career move to just like get he's probably well even so when john cena fucking uh apologized or whatever it's like yeah it's a bitch move obviously but that goes back the other thing it's like guy's 55 he's making movies he's like i just have a job i don't so i i get like you know to some people

where you go john cena's not like that crazy overtly fucking woke is he no more importantly he's like when i actually understood it more yeah this apology is gonna save me 80 million dollars not even that but i understood it even more when i heard him say the apology in mandarin i was like oh you want to be like a fucking the biggest guy in china billion and a half people or whatever like yeah what an easy decision for you you spent all this time learning and now you're the enemy and then you're the enemy of this country that you learned is that why he learned mandarin so he could fucking be a bigger star what a fucking career of course and so when i heard that i was like oh yeah like the whole thing makes

complete sense yeah why would you like so it's easy to kind of for people to anyone that has no skin in the game to be like what a bitch like if i heard him in english being like i'm so sorry i didn't realize that would be one thing right but like he obviously has but he said it in mandarin i thought he did both or maybe i didn't even know i didn't even know about this man okay i saw the mandarin one which i was like yeah this guy wants to be like the biggest actor in china he wants to I thought he did both I didn't even know about this Mandarin thing I saw the Mandarin one which I was like yeah this guy wants to be like the biggest

actor in China he wants to be he wants to be a swinging dick in China he is obviously and like he wants to be like Bruce Lee basically or not Bruce Lee

fucking Jackie Chan yeah I found this pretty funny fucking article with like so Vice have you been following this whole

defund the police thing uh yeah i've been keeping up with it like basically the i love the best being like here are all the states that have defunded cities that have defunded the police and they're like they also coincide with the highest crime it's murder she wrote murder she wrote that's the defend the police slogan i mean crime's getting up here in new york dude i just on the walking i know just walking over here today or actually sorry coming back from the gym earlier sex crime i saw i saw uh on where is this on 14th street a guy straight up shooting heroin nice and i was like we've lived here for how long never seen that badass yeah yeah you like that when the rats are crawling on them that's when it really but i'm shooting heroin. Nice. And I was like, we've lived here for how long? Never seen that. Badass. Yeah.

Yeah. You like that when the rats are crawling on them, that's when it really, but I'm saying like, that's like, real New York fucking experience. It is a bit of a sign that like, you know,

those like people who are heroin are like, yeah, I'm just going to do this on 14th street. I don't even care. They're not enforcing. No, no, dude,

you don't need to tell me about crime being back. I, I don't even know if I wrapped up my saga for everyone, but I, you know, as people know, the homeless people were out, or whatever, not even homeless. They set up a market and they were blasting music.

And then my... So I was getting in fights with them. And my chick's like, hey, I'll go down and deal with them. So I go, okay, obviously I'm not going to do that where she's out there giving them a talk. I'm looking out the window. I'm looking out the window. I'm looking out the window. Honey, do you need any help?

I'm here for morals. So it's out of the option. So I had to go down there and yell at them and stuff. But the fucking, so what happened at the end of it, they're gone now because basically the bodega owner got in a fist fight with these guys. Nice. Yeah.

Fuck yeah, Newman. So Newman got in a fucking fist fight with the guy. Then they came back. Then the other bodega guy and they were, they had these, all these things. Then the cops finally came. And then the guy just decided to go set up a couple of doors over because he

got in a fist fight. And, and then the next day, I'm not kidding. So this is, I was gone. So I heard this from Newman and he told me as it happened, I walk,

I'm walking from the bodega back to my house. A guy, he goes, this just happened. I, I walk into my door as I'm walking from the bodega back to my house. A guy, he goes, this just happened. I walk into my door. As I'm walking in, a guy's setting up a drum kit. Of course. I go, what is going on right now?

And then he goes, yeah, yeah, we're just going to play. I go, you know, it's 8 p.m. on a Sunday. I go, I don't want to tell you this, but like the fucking, this just happened. And the guy got the shit kicked out of him. Dude, i posted on instagram where i was like i was walking home like whatever last week and like there's a dude doing like freestyle raps like under your bedroom window it's wild and then like and then they're like i'll pass in the mic and like the one guy i was like oh this guy's not bad and then someone took it i'm

like this guy sucks and they're so loud like directly underneath yeah their band is called the disruptive three i had to go down there with my you know point to my watch like boys yeah it's 11 o'clock on sunday night so anyways those guys are gone too but it's been a whole debacle it's so crazy too like you ever look at some of the stuff that people sell outside your house i saw yesterday junk no so they sell one woman was selling ground beef like she was like in the sun she was sitting well that's because they steal it but i'm saying like okay pistachios steal pistachios sell them they're not ground beef you're outdoors yeah no i'm i told you the girl

was selling bags of fucking milk one day it's that's the least weird thing they're selling but they this guy the vice goes uh vice has a good article you know we were saying like have you tried just not being racist you know what i mean they have a article that says uh what if we just stopped calling the cops i saw that i saw that trending on twitter i'm like i'm not clicking this fucking rules dude like that was the thing that was what would happen if we stopped calling cops and it's like what do you think would happen like what are you talking? What kind of question?

They've got some banger fucking explanations. What would happen if we stopped calling the fire department? Your house burns down. That's what happens. And then you win because you didn't call the fire department, but you're sleeping on the streets. All of their stories are so good. They go, for decades, the solution for black Americans was to just not call the cops. Now white people are catching on, they should not call um to be honest there's a little part of me that for most

things i don't call the cops because they're not gonna do shit i've never called the cops no but you ever had someone where you were like someone stole something from me and you go i remember one time like i got someone stole from me and you call the cops you're like hey this guy stole my stuff i know who it is and they're like mean, you can file a report, but like, I'm going to be honest with you. We don't do anything. They don't,

they don't do shit. Opening investigation. No, but they already weren't doing all that much. Yeah. Um, the, but the way that vice thinks is if I said,

Oh, sorry, so, so I'm so sorry. I didn't mention this black guy. They go, they're like, they're all going down the pole like in a firehouse

cancel my five o'clock yeah well oh my god you didn't say it was a so jeanette singleton heard gunfire outside of her house in warren ohio one night in august 2020 two days later she saw bullet holes in her and her son's cars she was scared but she knew she couldn't call the police so uh these there's like there's three stories and so what did she think would happen well she thinks the police come they'd come rough her up you know beat her up for calling the police don't fucking waste our time with these what just because your car got shot up that was that's just a little taste and then like one just like huge guys like holding her arms back while another guy but the best is because their stories aren't the stories aren't uh you'd think the stories would be hey i called the cops and this is the

bad thing that happened purely hypothetical they're just saying no no it's not hypothetical but it's uh i i well it's hypothetical that a bad thing would happen but they're saying like that yeah uh we just stopped calling the cops like for example yesterday i was a beat the shit got beat up on me and i didn't call the cops because that's my politics. Oh, okay. They're just like, yeah, just don't call the cops. You go, okay. Did you guys ever solve who had a gunfight outside of your house?

No, we don't plan to. Maybe next time we'll figure it out. All right. This one's great, but the other one's even better. No, no, the second one's great. I mean, the third one's even better. Singleton, a 60 year old licensed therapist and social worker is black.

So is her 29 year old son. And just a few months earlier, she'd seen yet another example of what would happen if a black American, when the police were called for the most innocuous, innocuous of crimes. Um, so basically this is, I guess all this stuff's just,

this is what Vice is saying. It's like fear mongering at their best. It's like, listen, if you're a black guy and you call the cops, you're fucking dead. Yeah, dead. You're dead, mate. It's also, it's funny, like the Vice employees too, where this is a Vice employee. It's like, I would fucking love to see a gunfight outside of a Vice employee's house and see if they call the cops and see if they call the cops. But this is what they're peddling.

They go, honestly, even if a gunfight is happening outside of your house, you shouldn't call the cops. I have a feeling you would have a pretty good feeling. You just deal with the gunshots yourself. Should I get a gun? Oh, what? Yeah, right. This is like such a NYC, like a liberal bullshit. It's like a gunfight's happening outside of your house.

You're like, yeah, yeah. You should never call the cops. Like, what should you do about it? Well, I mean, listen, even if you get killed, if the cops came, they would have killed you twice. Right. Especially if you're not white. Plus think about like, you know, those people's circumstances who are having—

they have to be in the gunfight because of systemic racism and all that stuff. So she wanted someone to investigate the bullet holes, yet she had to consider the optics. Oh, this is the same one as the first one, but still. Officers might look at the damage and think her son did it. She was worried they would assume her son's a drug dealer or a gang member and they could hurt him, she thought. So this one's not as crazy where you go, all right, listen, if there was gunshots in your car and it's already done, and then you might go, yeah, what's the point of that?

Yeah, like what do you think of CSI forensics to like? like yeah but i think that one of the people that people forget about this stuff in general is um with with like cops when they're saying like they wouldn't do anything one of the reasons why people do less crime is like the threat it's kind of like the immigration stuff it's that idea of like well yeah people are less likely to commit crimes when they know that cops aren't going to be literally in new york it's like like the crimes when they just know it's not being prosecuted but also they have routine patrols when they had more just like just literally cars yeah cars driving around your area there's and by the way this is fucking all under the pretense that cops fucking suck but it's like yes your options are limited when you're being uh fucking murdered yes you know what i mean like again we did a cop

video this week it's actually not super politically motivated one way or the other, but it's pretty funny. So that's the same might of Leah Knox, 36-year-old sales operation from Greensboro, North Carolina. She took when someone pulling out of a gas station hit her car. The driver appeared to be a Latino teenager

who was very stressed and scared. Sensing her fear, she didn't want to put any more pressure on him by calling the cops. So Knox told him that they can just exchange information and she'll admit, as long as they admit that it's their fault. They both could move on

without getting the police involved. He cooperated completely and his insurance came through and paid for the repairs. So that's an example of the same thing. Yeah, it sounds like you didn't need the cops. It sounds like... Yeah.

So basically... What? So cops. It sounds like... Yeah. So basically... What? So you were just worried, like... She's patting herself on the back. Like, oh, you had a gunfight outside of your house and didn't call the cops? I had the exact same thing. Like, there's...

I also had a situation where I didn't call the cops. I got an offender bender, and the guy agreed to pay for it. Like, I know in Canada, there's, like, a certain threshold where the police have to pay for it. Like I know in Canada, there's like a certain threshold where the police have to be notified. No, exactly. But it's like if you don't...

Well, you need to go to the collision center if you want the insurance to pay for it. Exactly, you go to the collision center. But this is a girl being like, fender bender, what happened? A nice guy agreed to pay for it. So yeah, a couple of us, just a couple of people not calling the cops.

Just a couple of people that don't call not calling the cops just a couple people that don't call the cops um but if not the cops who should you call and then they have you know a lot of people like the uh social workers and other professionals which again for the problem outside of my house i would be down to call those people if you said that was also an option that would be a better person to call if i had fucking a bunch of guys like causing havoc no be a sick option i don't know if they if you could do this is you call the fire department they hook up the hose and they just hose them all away they have to be white at that point a lot of them are white but no or the fire department could not be not white be like hey send all your best black firefighters we gotta hose down these. But like you hose them away

like you're cleaning the driveway. Hose them down the homeless. So Mary Reimer is a white 28-year-old legal aid attorney. Believes that too. But Reimer believed it wasn't just her imagination. An intruder broke into her house

and calling the police for help wasn't an option. So this is my favorite one probably. But in this case, she's in her house and there's an intruder currently in her house. But she knows if she calls the cops like he'll hear her no she's saying if she calls the cops the cops will kill them both but she's white no she this girl's black oh um so she says

uh calling the cops wasn't an option well she's currently experiencing home invasion police scare reimer more than any home intruder ever could. And the calling the cops goes against their politics too, she said. So that wasn't an option for her. She said calling the cops goes against their politics. That's a quote, yeah. So as an unknown person wandering around her first floor, someone's, can you imagine this?

Your girl, imagine your chick's like, hey, there's a fucking intruder wandering around my house right now. You're like, yeah, call the cops. She's like, well, my apologies. It's like the equivalent of the fucking Sahara. It's like some lion stalking a zebra. Zebra's like, can we just talk about this?

And you're like, no, I'm going to eat you. So Mary Reimers barricaded her bedroom door on the second floor and started to text friends to let them know what was going on. And for reasons that she can't explain. She also posted what was happening on Twitter. Twitter cops. So that should probably solve it. But also, and then, oh, but this is the best part.

She goes, there's currently someone robbing my house, she said on Twitter. And then said, I'm upstairs safe and fine, but what should I do? I was hoping they would just leave, but they haven't left. She added, if any of you call the cops, I'll kill you. I do not want cops in my house. I'll kill you. Yeah, yeah. Like, I think she's being hyperbolic with that.

But she's basically, she posted on Twitter, I'm currently being home invaded. Don't call the cops. Like, why are you posting this on Twitter then? Cool, then fucking just. Yes, but obviously, like like imagine the fucking drama queen. This imagine your girl is like, she's like, Hey,

there's someone broken in my house. I go, I'm going to call the cops. She goes, don't call the cops posts on Twitter. I'm getting broken into. And everyone's like, we'll call the cops.

Like nobody called the cops, but I would need everyone to know this. You go the most, the attention drama from this chair. Like it's stuff like that where I go like, what are the odds that even happened? That's probably kind of low, to be honest. I think you might be on to something

with that theory. Yeah, like, that's, like, just a fake, like, you know. So instead, Reimer's called a friend to come pound on her door and scare the intruder off. But someone did call the cops anyway, because she blasted it on all of her social media. That's so funny. Imagine there's some fucking, like, armed person robbing your house, and then, like, you're like, hey, come over. Imagine there's some fucking like armed person robbing your house.

And then like, you're like, Hey, come over. Can you just like make a distraction? It's like, are you crazy? Like imagine your house is getting robbed.

I just need you to make a distraction. She might have, we call the cops. Like, no, I was actually over there. You'd come over. I have,

and bring your trumpet. Yeah. It's like, what if the person has a weapon? Yeah. Well, she doesn't, she thinks this is

the best option right now we just stopped calling the cops you go you're taking this a little far you go nope my politics this is my politics so uh then the person the officers arrived at her dress because the you know the twitter people and the person who had broken in was able to escape without harm or being arrested so that's good news yeah that's good news. Yeah, that's good news. So that's that one. Pretty good. And then the last one, which these two are both good. I don't know what's better

for Drama Queen of the Year, would you say? You give the award of the Marie Weimers or Jennifer Lewinsky for Drama Queen of the World. So Jennifer Lewinsky is 44. Sounds right.

I think it's a white girl. Was in a relationship that became abusive. She couldn't call the cops in her hometown because Lewinsky's 44. Sounds right. I think it's a white girl. Was in a relationship that became abusive. She couldn't call the cops in her hometown because Lewinsky feared the police would hurt her boyfriend.

He was also on parole so an arrest could have ruined his life even if he's hurting me. He's still a person that I love and don't want him dead. That's not politics, sister.

That's like your standard girl who's... Yeah, you're in an abusive relationship. Yeah, this is a tale as old as time yeah where you go yeah i don't want the you know don't don't want to call the cops i'm gonna i'm not gonna testify on my husband who beat the shit out of me and you go but her her take is like you know but if cops weren't so mean i would be able to call the cops right so she can't call the cops as her boyfriend's beating him up. And she goes, huh, you happy cops?

I can't even. Cops are such pieces of shit that they don't really take well the dudes beating up their girlfriends. They don't really like those guys. By the time Lewinsky and someone else were forced to call law enforcement in 2015, the conflict between the couple had seriously escalated. So now he's after three years of beating her up. She goes, maybe the cops might be. No, she still doesn't want to tell the... I mean, she wished she could. She wished she lived in a perfect world where she could call the cops, but that's not an option.

She didn't want to rely on traditional law enforcement, of course. Lewinsky and a volunteer therapist went and knocked on the neighbor's door to see what they could do. Nobody answers. But they were able to leave a note saying they didn't want to call the police and were able to help.

So this is... On the neighbors? So basically, someone else wanted to get involved and she very insisted no cops. So they got a therapist involved who sorted the whole thing out by leaving a note on the front door

saying you can call me if you need anything. For the neighbors. Yeah. So next time you're having the... Next time you're getting the shit beat out of you. Yeah. No, it's like a volunteer therapist, that they they're an alternative to cops yeah but what they did was they left a note on the front door basically saying like you know i got you

next time if you need it if you need anything next time yeah and they go that should do it i think that'll do it these people sort of like the vice, sort of live life like it's a video game. You know what I mean? Like they sort of look at like, oh, we'll just do this. None of it's real. You know what I mean? Like if someone's having a knife fight outside of your house, you know, just leave them a note. It's like they live like it's a video game.

Yeah, it's like you're like a sweet old grandma. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's like so cooked where you're like, just leave them a note. Yeah, and you go, yeah, okay. She comes out with another black eye the next day. Like like turns out the note didn't work all that great where do you think they find these people for these articles i think a lot of them probably work there but i think a lot of people write in their stories about things so they do a lot of things where remember old jerry springer yeah like do you have a story are you dating your two cousins and your dog at the same

time police yeah texas yeah that's an option lewinsky wishes she had her arrest did nothing to solve the actual problem at hand she said after so uh oh so that's what someone did call the cops after she was getting the shit beat out of her and she goes that's an option she wishes she had her arrest did nothing to solve the actual problem at hand and after she got out of jail lewinsky went back to her abuse oh she so she got arrested why did she get arrested so she got arrested oh i remember um i guess i didn't include that so what happened was eventually he beat her up so much that she stabbed him. And she got arrested? They both got arrested.

The ultimate irony where she's like, no cops! And they're like, yeah, you just stabbed the guy, so we have to arrest you. She goes, no, I ain't cops! I'm not a cop person. She goes, I'm not a cop person, so I'm not cool with this. And they go, okay, yeah. But she's saying she wouldn't have had to stab them if she was able to call the cops,

but she wasn't able to because she thinks they shouldn't exist. i think what she needs to do is petition her politicians to make stabbing legal that's what she yeah decriminalize just a good old-fashioned knife knife fight so basically the guy beat her up to the point where she stabbed him yeah all of this is the cop's fault then she goes that's enough and she wishes she had to call the cops that's an option she goes, and she wishes she had called the cops. That's an option she wished she had. So her arrest did nothing to solve the problem

of getting beat up. So after he got beat up and stabbed the guy, her arrest did nothing. It'd be funny if she got beat up in jail, too. It's like that thing where she's in jail. She goes, don't we hate the cops? And they're like, fuck it. Yeah, well, after she got out of jail,

Lewinsky went back to her abuser for a time, all because of the cops. And eventually she was able to leave. To her knowledge, the guy still hasn't gotten counseling or resources that might help him deal with his abusive tendencies. So none of this got solved. It's kind of a lot of that thing. This is that fucking person that's like failing out of school. They're dropping out of school.

They can't keep a job. They've got an abusive boyfriend. They're like, thanks, Dad, for doing this to me, putting me in this situation. If you had set me up properly, I wouldn't have had to be this. I wish if I had never been born. Yeah, well, if you fucking gave me the proper resources, Dad, I wouldn't be in this situation.

Anyways, this has been... I'd like to give the award by the way okay who's the award uh the intruder the intruder is that marie yeah marie that's fucking crazy uh before we go and another episode as always on patreon.com slash the boys cast and one thing that's uh good about uh the patrons that i've noticed is since I, we started doing them every single week. I mean, a lot of people have joined, but zero people have left. Whereas before people used to leave more, but on the,

don't let the door hit your ass on the way out. Those are for the people who have already left. They're not even here. I think it just wasn't enough content, but now no zero, zero people have left. Like it's very, you just see all the people that came and all the people left zero,

all satisfied customers. You might say it's a fucking one way turnst the people that came and all the people left. Zero, all satisfied customers, you might say. It's a fucking one way turnstile. They're coming in, nobody going out. But this was fucking making me laugh so much. So our friend Corinne, her dad owned a baseball card store. And Danny's really big into trading cards and all that stuff. So she owns a baseball, and then she's like taking it over this baseball card store and danny's really big into trading cards and all that stuff so she owns a base and then she's like taking it over this baseball card store and i filmed the video with her last week and she's like danny volunteered to come work at the baseball card no i said i was gonna take a

part no no that's not what she said i didn't say i was gonna come work there i was like if you need help with anything i know danny took a minimum wage job that's funny how she interpreted that i was like she's that's not what she said she said you like were like if you're hiring hiring she said you're gonna come not say yes she did she said you're gonna come work in the baseball card store for 15 bucks an hour i literally was like if that's what she said that's but you i i the way i interpret it is like this was a dream of yours like a kid that's like always want to be interpret it is like this was a dream of yours. Like a kid that's always wanted to be a pie eater. Like it was a dream of yours to work at a baseball card store.

I was like, she's got to do this whole moving the store. And her dad's sick. I was like, if you need help, I'll come help you. That's not the way I heard it. I'm not trying to get a fucking part-time job for 12 hours a week. I heard that you were going to go work part-time with the 12 hours a week that's i heard that you were gonna go work part-time like with the uniform and that's what she's take up smoking that's what i heard yeah you're like literally quitting comedy to go fucking work a minimum wage job at the baseball card store

westchester this is what she said okay you're so this is not so you're saying it's false i i mean if you're being serious i'm being dead serious this is how i interpreted i interpreted it like you really wanted to do this the money's not important you're but i'll take like i'll obviously work a cash register at a baseball card store he said i was literally like her dad taking a job no it's like her dad is like ill she has like this whole fucking she's like you know she has her whole thing and then she's also like deal with this crazy store i was like if you need help with has her whole thing. And then she's also like deal with this crazy store. I was like, if you need help with anything. Okay.

So you're saying it's false info. Fake news. Yeah, I don't want to fucking, I'm not traveling an hour to go do a shift at a baseball. I thought the way I interpret it is you just love cards that much. No. And it's kind of like the kid that gets to work at GameStop when he's young. Like you might get deals on the guards. No, because I was telling her. I thought it was a scheme you're up to.

Trying to fuck her over because she doesn't know stuff. like, there's so many people who are trying to fuck her over because she doesn't know stuff. And I'm like, well, I know stuff about this. So I'm like, if you need help, like, I'll help you. I'm not trying to do this as a regular thing. All right. This is like, my friend is like in a jam.

And I was like, that's not what I heard. You're the one in a jam. You need a job at a baseball card store. That's so funny. Okay. All right. This has been's so funny. Okay. All right. This has been the

boys cast. Peace. Peace.