The Boyscast with Ryan Long - FAUCI'S NEIGHBOR, MEDIA & BILLIONAIRES

Episode Date: April 30, 2021

What Fauci's been up to, a FOX piece on me, a NY Times article on a bunch of boyfriends, and Billionaires  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And you can tell our friends, and they can have my things when we're dead But we gonna live forever, but we gonna live forever And you can tell our friends, and they can have my things when we're dead Welcome to the boys cast, Ryan Long, Daniel, Polish, Chuck What's happening? I gotta make a correction first There's always a bunch of corrections, but Unlike those lying scumbags at the New York Times, we make corrections.

Yeah, and they don't go on the back pages. They're front and foremost. Yeah, at the very start of the episode, because we have a thing called integrity, Ryan. Well, Dude Looks Like a Lady is not made for the movie Mrs. Doubtfire. I thought you said it was a different one. No, I said Dude Looks Like a Lady was made for Mrs. Doubtfire. And a million people were like, that was about Vince Neil, allegedly, because Vince Neil looks like a girl, and it was made years before.

Okay. I thought you were saying a different one was for Mrs. Doubtfire. The one before that was for Mrs. Doubtfire. No, it was that one for sure. And there's many times where I'll say things and I'm like, yeah, I don't know if that's true. I wonder if it took them for Mrs. Doubtfire a while to get, they were looking for songs and I'm like, yeah, I don't know if that's true. I wonder if it took them for Mrs. Doubtfire a while to get they were like looking for songs and they're like

like was that a be thinking that was like instant dude looks like a lady or yeah, I think they wrote the movie around the song now that I know the information this and also I by the way, I've been fucking getting killed in general off of my lack of being able to spell and stuff like that. I don't know if you saw the Trump. I

mean, I've been working on a script with you. Was it bad? Yeah. It's fucking insane. It's like I had to transpose this like chicken scratch into this like script and then also edit the other part of the script. Well, I did this video, Trump blogger withdrawal,

and I spelled withdrawal improperly. And even saying it now, I'm not sure which one was right and Withdrawal, and I spelled withdrawal improperly. And even saying it now, I'm not sure which one was right and which was wrong, but I spelled it. I think I spelled it with- With A-U? No, A-W-L. I didn't know there was an A. Oh, yeah. Withdrawal.

And another thing, I said the Caroline Show is postponed, reasons not due to me, and I spelled it do. Oh, yeah. You always spelled it D-O. A hundred people messaged me that. Oh, D-O, you always spelled it D-O. Anyways, it's getting killed on all that stuff spell beat like like it beats someone i don't know like the right like the vegetable yeah no i'm fucking loopy yeah yeah that's fine i mean whatever you don't have to be good at everything no thank you i appreciate that yeah i can't be a

fucking master at smashing chicks and fucking spelling and grammar and also spell their address right when i'm sending them home in the uber on their phone on their phone but uh okay so officially before we get into the stuff officially for real this time the boys cast is going to move back to its own youtube channel so this is going to happen in two weeks and this time for realsies no take backs no take back that and then follow the page follow the clip take back no take back that and then follow the page follow the clip page also rest assured too that if you do take that back i will be delivering some punches i will be delivering the punches though the arm punches will be coming and the patreon the new episode every week and a bunch of different people and danny might be you

said that there's a potential that maybe an extra thing on the patreon is once a month doing the stock tips stock tips or a sports show so because you you recommended mudsu mud capital muds yeah okay oh buddy i'm fucking this morning so i had this this company uh clover health this will just be a it's um like a spat one of chamath specs that got like okay destroyed it was it was like 14 because so i don't know i need to explain the whole spec no okay so anyways it was not at 14 then it was seven dollars and i was like i think this is about as low as it's gonna go so i bought some and then wall street bets picked it up being like this is their next thing is and you're cooking clover right so it went from seven

and then today it went from i had it at seven and went to 11 i had a pretty big position i went to 11 and so i sold and it had been all over the map. It had like crazy volume. And then I sold out of it because MUDS, which is Topps Baseball Card Company, which I like made so much money off of baseball cards in the past year because of the other, the CLCT or whatever. And then it dipped today to like, probably like $2 lower than the high of yesterday. And I was like, fuck it.

So I had, I sold all my clove and i bought even more mods well this is the kind of stuff that you might be able to hear on the patreon month if that little spiel did something for you yeah if it did something if you were perked up by that though if you're perked up the problem with the monthly stock tips though is that it's not gonna work so you're gonna have to do a daily one well the problem is they go hey i bought muds two weeks ago and they're like yeah it's 30 higher probably do a daily one a daily that's what's gonna be coming on the page on the daily uh before even that though so i don't know if you've seen this but because so they're trying to they're opening new york back up which is solid or whatever but july 1st fully open yeah but they it's so funny that they because fauci released his thing we've been talking about this the idea of you know and

not the first person to mention this but the idea is like even if you're vaccinated like you know don't leave your house yeah don't two masks so fauci did they did this article and i'm not gonna read the whole thing but he goes uh fauci did like a little character piece because they do they do pieces on fauci like he's a superstar you know what i mean of course what's jennifer lopez wearing like what's fauci's afternoons look like it's crazy he hasn't hosted snl to be honest that's that's where he's basically at he's 100 years old and this is what he says he goes how fauci's behavior so if you're wondering if you get the vaccinations how your behavior should change and it says he goes i haven't had a day off in a year and three months this is what he said so he's out of the gate you a bad person to ask about what's his social life

look like because i haven't done anything ever he goes still not but then he says whenever we would get together before i had the vaccine we would do it outside freezing our butts off wearing a mask so this is having a dinner or a drink with family or friends outside on his deck so mid-january he's outside and uh by the way the reason why so you have this guy that's like 90 years old, you know, his whole thing, remember the Bernie Sanders thing where I go, he's got to be cheap because there's this whole thing. So obviously Fauci is not going to be caught at a rave. No, regardless.

But I mean, I will give it to him that at least he has like the integrity to not be like a piece of shit. Like, yeah, I guess you could say it that way. I say it the other way. You have no choice. Well, he has no choice, but at least he's like talking his of shit. Like, I guess you could say it that way. I say it the other way. You have no choice. Well, he has no choice, but at least he's like talking his book and being like,

you're not seeing him do any of this stuff. He's working four months a year. He's having other pieces of shit who are like Newsome. Who's like, you know, French laundry being like, Oh, you're not allowed to do this.

And then you're like doing it. I'm not really with you on that. I go, well, you'd rather him being like, Hey, is Fauci fucking like, I don't think that's irrelevant to me. Whether or not he's living his things or not i think i think he

wasn't doing shit anyway gavin himself a cool guy is your grandfather was he like yeah he changes no i don't know so well he's dead so no yeah exactly same old status quo for grandpa safe boy danny uh he They unburied their grandfather and then put a mask back on him and then reburied him just to be double safe. Just to be double safe. Just to make sure that in the afterlife

that he was protected. Well, my point was... Do you think anybody got buried who died of COVID and they buried him with a mask on? Yeah, they would have wanted that. That's what he would have wanted. He would have definitely wanted that.

So he's got no choice. Second of all, well, before that, it'd be pretty funny if Fauci was your neighbor because you basically can't do shit. Imagine like you're a Trump supporter and Fauci is your neighbor and you want to have a party or just like a college kid. But but probably like in March of last year, you were like, sick fucking Fauci's working with Trump. He's my neighbor. And then like a month later, you're like putting shit in a bag and lighting it on fire on this fucking. Well, you bring a girl over.

Fauci comes over. Excuse me. We're in a bag and lighting it on fire on this fucking. Well, you bring a girl over. Fauci comes over. Excuse me. We're in a pandemic. So he's not. So he's outside of January. It's freezing his ass off and he's having dinner with his friends. Eventually, the friends would just be like, let's let's stop eating with Fauci. Yeah.

And then you think the dinner party invites are drying up for Fauci? I do think so. He's like, people are fucking getting my face tattooed on their arms, but nobody's inviting me to dinner anymore. Who would want to go? He's like, where are we doing it? We're actually on an igloo. Oh, inside the igloo?

No, no, no, no. We actually sit on the igloo. We make our own igloos and sit on top of them. I don't know if that's safe. But I mean, a million people have said this, but you go, if you want people to get the fucking vaccine, stop making it once you get the vaccine. By the way, the only thing different is now you

don't have to wear the mask when you're having sex with your wife that's it that's the crazy that they even had to come out yesterday and be like yeah you don't need to wear the vaccinated people don't need to wear a mask outside that's so nice of them thanks thank you dad yeah and he goes the biggest shift that him and his neighbors have finally moved the party indoors so once he got vaccinated he says we feel very comfortable in the house with no mask so he stopped wearing his mask in the house now this is fauci and his wife and we can have a physical contact and things like that but for now he still won't eat indoors at a restaurant or go to a movie theater so you're 90 you're not doing those things anyway but it's also like yes you're the safest guy in the world

because your thing is i'm the safe guy so i just the idea that like everyone's saying look at even fauci won't go to a movie theater and he's the guy it's like no it's not even fauci with a guy whose whole deal is i'm the safest guy in the world and i'm in charge of the safety he's like i'm not gonna go to a movie doesn't it's like yeah fauci probably also has sex with his wife with three condoms on even though she's 95 years old i think he's still giving it to her i don't know maybe that maybe that's excuse maybe he's just tired of fucking having to fuck his wife so he goes honey like we got to be super cautious now with the pandemic no like this was his out from ever having this fuck his old wife ever again that's

the deal yeah he goes no one else thinks it's hilarious if you fucking you know how they have all the minority owned places and you know all the people that a lot of the people that what? Yeah. Like BT, but you can order, if you order a sub, you can make sure that like, yeah, the thing, there was like so much, it was just making me laugh. But because first of all, we know so many people that are into all that kind of stuff that are pieces of shit. You know what I mean?

Absolutely. So just the idea that it makes it so much funnier when you now have to complain that you essentially you're like oh i wanted this to be a black guy and you're like but you complain every single time so every so you're like well i just wanted to be a black guy that i'm calling to complain because they didn't put the right condiments on it yeah excuse me can we get a black person to pick up yeah yeah so you're like oh i only like to use i only like to use minority it's like you're a terrible customer though you know what though i did i do get a bit of it like i'll give you the other side of it is you only use minority on process no no like

brown dudes absolutely but we were in miami we went to the me and my girl went to the food court in the mall or whatever we ate there one time and then she got like something and then i went to the jerk place which is like black the jerk store you went to the jerk store population and they said we were actually selling we're all out of you uh but i went to the jerk chicken place and i got it and then i gave her a hard time because she's like why'd you go there i'm like oh because i support i support minority black-owned businesses yeah and then i like really was like i get where people fucking not that i was actually cool about i didn't actually feel cool about it but i get where people go they go yeah like i'm like eating this meal and i'm

supporting a minority that's really nice like literally the person who owns that place is a million the guy first of all the person who owns that place is a millionaire it's like a fucking giant chain of things but then you have to go yell at them and fucking tell them you forgot to put my fucking like 95 the person who owns that jerk place in the mall is a trump supporter yeah also it's like the i guess the owner but it's like the people that work there too there is that element of it's that other thing of, you know, I only hire minority cleaning ladies. The person who prepares my food for me, I'm doing such a service. A Latino man will be making my falafel. That's yeah. So we talked about a lot about the free speech stuff last weekend the censorship, and everyone sort of sent me their takes or whatever.

And again, I don't think I'm some expert on it. I think I'm just more close to it probably because it's our world or whatever. But I had an insight that I thought was interesting. It would be funny if you just went and just unilaterally shut down the whole message board. You go, how do you like that for censorship, people? Message board, shut down until you learn your lessons. Well, everyone's got the answers to all these problems. And I go, this is what I think. And everyone goes, well, actually, you're wrong. I go, learn your lessons. Well, everyone's got the answers to all these problems. And I go, you know, this is what I think.

And everyone goes, well, actually, you're wrong about that. I go, okay, sure. Well, whatever. You're all the answers in the world. Run for president. But I go, the interesting, sometimes I get these little tidbits where I'm closer. Like even the idea of going to, you know, if we have lots of friends that, you know, own some of these big companies, right?

And then you'll see all the chatter online. Then you can just ask the guy or whatever. Right. So sometimes with insiders, with comedy club owners or whatever, but I have a little inside thing that I thought was interesting. So I have a guy that runs this whole Facebook business. Right.

And he says, he goes, so since in the last month, Facebook and all these, all these companies announced they're lightening up on the censorship. So they're basically saying all of the misinformation stuff, all the deleting the accounts and everything, we're lighting up. And the obvious first impression is to say, well, yeah, because they were trying to get Trump in and Trump out. And now that he's out, they're like, job done.

Say whatever you want. That would be the obvious thing but it's not that simple so while there is a part of the media and the politicians aren't grilling them as hard what actually is happening is those companies their fucking traffic is way down oh yeah facebook came out with their earnings yesterday exactly but they're they're they're printing fucking money. They're printing money. But the thing is, on Facebook, the traffic was way down.

Instagram, their growth was like bananas. But my point is, on some of those sites, they got rid of their like, we're going to get rid of the families yelling at each other topics. Yeah. You know, the stuff that's breaking up families. They just put America on a timeout for like a year and then they're like timeouts over well but the reason the timeout's over is because their business model fucking needs people to be yelling at each other absolutely i mean i mean think about it this way it's like you know we know like like our friend matt or whatever who had this like hard time saying it's like they would post these videos that were the videos you were making it'd be like

five million views yeah and then all of them well they choked it that was a button switch that was a little different but but i'm saying just in that sense you're like yeah they're serving ads on those videos so they just limited like an ad like a video that would have got you know six million yes they're now gets to serve way less ads on that and people were spending less time on the site because people don't stay on they like you know some people like the puppy videos. But you know what people really like? Murder your dad! I used to spend like, Facebook was like, really used to suck you in. You'd see all these like, hey, here's this random video.

Facebook's for Fauci's. Yeah, basically. It's for old people. But it's like, they got rid of that whole thing where you can just like stumble upon all this random shit. TikTok does that now where you stumble upon all this shit. They got rid of it all. Yeah, so I just thought it was interesting. Because the initial thing I would have definitely thought is that, oh, yeah, this was like some political thing.

Everyone wanted to get Trump out. But it's really they're like, fine, yeah, yeah, we'll censor everyone. Then once they did, they were like, wait a second. This is our whole business model. It's people yelling at each other. They're going to bring it back until the next person they don't like comes into power. Well, yeah, I I guess but speaking of this I have an article on some things to talk about

but I thought that I should mention this is pretty funny to me so I did that interview on Fox right and it's like for anyone who thinks that these places aren't garbage a lot of people in the world are like, you know,

CNN's the truth and Fox a liar. Like Fox, they tell it like it is, you know, vice versa. And maybe there's a few people at each, you know, there's maybe like a few guys where you go, okay, that guy, you know, out of a thousand or whatever. But so there was a whole hoopla about it. But I'll tell you, just to start, this is what happened. And I've talked about it on this podcast where I'm like like i don't like doing those interviews because they pigeonhole that you say whatever you

say you're there for a purpose you're there for a purpose to serve them and they're scumbags yes but i did it because someone who was auditioning there was very uh helpful to me when i first moved here so some of these people that were helpful to me when I first moved here, it was kind of like a favor. And they asked me to do more and I said no, but I could do the interview or whatever, right? That's what I said. And this is what I said to them. And I've told people, there's a lot of interviews where I go,

I don't want to do it because they fucking, you know, they clickbait the title, they make it seem like you don't want to say, something you didn't say, and they try to, so I want to read the thing and show what these people did and then I'll say what, like, my opinion on it on it but this is and it's pretty fucking hilarious i go hey guys i'm down to do the interview and this is my phone number i do have a request though if i'm gonna do it because i don't do these very often if you decide to put out a digital clip i don't want you to do something clickbait that doesn't really represent what i say especially not about

woke culture because that always gets misrepresented. I find people always title stuff like, you know, Ryan Long destroys woke culture or like whatever. Right. So if you can agree to that, I'll do it. And they said, yes. Right. Title comedian Ryan Long stands up to woke outrage. By making jokes at critics expense, the impact of cancel culture on comedy and let me just say why

why i have such a problem with these people because you might be thinking well why not like what's so bad about that right the problem is all of these places encounter cultures always get you know co-opted by media places but what these places like to do is they do the same. They all do the same thing. They want to paint you as their victim. The same way the fucking left-wing places bring you on

and they go, it must be so fucking hard being a fat man or whatever they want. Correct. It is. Being a man of size, Daniel Polichuk.

Man of size. That must be tough life for you. And then you go, oh, you know, whatever. Like, some things are hard, some things are not. You're like, wait, so what does this have to do about the Yankees game tonight? And you're like, you're like a Yankee super fan.

And they bring you on. It must be hard being a man of size. Yeah. I thought you were interviewing me about the A-Rod stuff. And then they say, A-Rod fan discriminated against because he's overweight. That's what they do, right? So they try to paint you as a victim. They go, and you watch's what they do right so they try to paint you as a victim they go and you watch all they do this to everyone but they go and this is why the

fucking the mainstream all these mainstream people are so their their formats falling apart which is kind of what i say but they go they want you to be a victim and they go, you can't do comedy anymore. And I go, no, you can. I go, I'm currently doing comedy. I'm currently very successful. You can't do comedy is the worst take. It's the worst. Only because we've been saying for five years that people are like, oh, this whole woke stuff is making comedy so much worse. You're like, no, it's actually kind of making it better.

It's fine. Yeah. It's like it's not making it worse. Yes. It sucks. It sucks. If you were to boil down what the you know what the like it's made some some faction of comedians way worse for sure it tried some people's brains absolutely but for the overall state of comedy it's fine

it's it's kind of fun reordered it just reordered it and it's this stuff where they can't fucking have a nuanced opinion is the reason why like i don't think i think the industry's just missing what's going on yeah i think there's a lot of great people making a lot of great stuff and a lot of great people are watching it and they're just missing it yeah and my point isn't like poor me my point is like ha ha ha that's how that's me do you not think I'm laughing? Now, Ryan, what do you think about Chad? Ha! It's great. It's lovely. But yeah, I'm like a fairly positive guy.

Yeah. So they want you to say that. And then they, you know, that's the problem with the media is they can't do nuance. And then there's also something hilarious about being on a fucking live interview for whatever millions of people or whatever. And then them kind of, you know, the idea being, uh,

you can't say anything. And I'm like, can I swear right now? Oh, interesting. You know what I mean? You're like, yeah,

you're everyone's trying to tell you what to say. Your producer just told me I can't swear four seconds ago. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You can't, he told me I can't refer to your audience members as queers. That's weird.

That's not really a swear word. Yeah yeah so there's a lot of people that kind of have this conversation i've heard it online a lot and i sort of argue the same you know words like liberal and feminist and all those things changed yeah and a lot of people like the brett weinstein's in the world they're very um i think this is a lot of the problem with a lot of people right now is words sort of change and become something new and people don't want to adapt their identity so their their idea is you know everyone's wrong about what like a liberal is or you know i know girls they'll be like well i'm still a feminist i don't agree with all that stuff but i'm the traditional sense of what it is and you go okay but you can just be arguing that all the time and it's the same a famous argument for that was harvey weinstein he goes yeah no used to mean yes and then the fucking world changed and all of a sudden

no man no yeah but you know what do you think there was anyone that was like in the closet gay and got caught having sex with a dude and his wife was calling him gay and then there were like women and men and there's no difference there's no difference like see babe and we're back and we're back but yeah the those guys it's like a lot of the a lot of people are like i'm a liberal but now well never really like because those words change so much but they tie it so much into their identity that they don't want to change their identity. And people are so fucking... Well, because you're like, if I'm not a liberal, what am I? And they're like, I'm not a conservative.

Well, there's so many words like that. Are you the guy that's going to be like, oh, I just have a fag in the closet. And you go, what? Oh, a bundle of sticks. And you go, that's what it should mean. And I'm sticking... And you go, well, it's sort of... The things change and words like

their meanings change in terms of the context and language evolves and you can't just be except chink in the armor that no problem with that one chink in the armor

even still that's persistent was that an Asian thing no oh it wasn't but it's whatever it's still chink in the armor what was it you had some yellow

on the armor no it's like you have like a crack in it oh okay yeah yeah that's what i thought it was yeah cock i bet you there's some guys that were like proud cucks and then it became like this and they go i'm actually a cock and they go oh like a pussy fucking yeah pussy liberal pussy woke boy and they go the funny thing about oh i have people have sex with my actual funny thing about the cockuck thing is that it actually started as calling conservatives. It was cuckservatives.

It was how cucks started. Are you sure that's how it started? Positive. 100%. Yeah. Cucks started as Republicans were calling the people who were like less Republican, who were like kind of too close to the center, cuckservatives. I don't know if that's true.

Okay. We can have the fact checker. Yeah, people can tell us. I'm almost certain that's where cucks started. I think that came second. I don't think so. If I was to guess, maybe you're right. No, it was like well obviously cuckolding this is how it started it was kind of the skinhead thing you know what i mean like whenever you remember when the skinheads

there was the skinheads that weren't racist yeah so they're sharp they were like yeah the sharps yeah so they go skinheads against racial prejudice and it was like that that's got to be a tough life people hate you you're i'm actually quite whoa i'm literally the opposite yes and you go okay but really basically it's like dressing up like you know like like adolf hitler and saying don't judge a book by its cover no i'm oh so just yeah because yeah the same reason you don't have the mustache like they're trying to impart this giant moral lesson about not judging a book by its cover. By being so good, but looking so horrible. But you're constantly doing it.

Yeah. It's not like you can have a little sign above your head that just kind of says, not a racist. Things just have a lot of connotations. And you constantly have to fucking evolve. And especially when you do something like comedy or public like when girls go on stage right now you'll see some be like so i'm a feminist and you can kind of feel half the audience go you know what i mean yeah like if i if you know when i met girls when i was younger and i told them i'm in a band i know that you know says a certain million

things yeah and if i don't really think what those if i don't see myself is the way that they're seeing it when i'm saying those things then you have to like adapt the way that you are fucking describing yourself to actually fit how other people's minds you can't be like well whatever i'm gonna go down with it yeah ryan probably had a pretty dark two weeks when he stopped saying he was in a band and just said he was a feminist to get pussy because ryan's like two weeks you know i'm gonna change the band like i'm a feminist and just like i don't like this pussy there's gotta be like a hippie right now that a he was the original like hippie who was that started when he was against war his whole thing was he's against war yeah and he's yeah i don't know if it's true but you know what i mean well there's a lot of

there's a lot of like dead like grateful deadheads and stuff who were obviously like these anti-war people and then but now they're like Trump people like they kind of got older and richer and then they were like so like I remember like well also they're conspiracy oriented as well yeah so that was like a kind of big schism and

because there's like the old school like flower child hippies and then there's right there's like one I mean there's just kind of I've seen that split very much. So, you know, and then, but yeah,

there's, you know, then they go, Oh, you like to smoke weed and fucking sit on your couch. And you go, no, I don't like war or whatever.

And I don't know if that actually is the case, but there's a bunch of them. That's what I'm saying. So it's so weird that these people, especially when it's smart people fighting that fight. I go, yeah, dude,

you lost. Like I understand fighting for the word when there's smart people fighting that fight. I go, yeah, dude, you lost. Like, I understand fighting for the word when there's like a legitimate 50-50. But once it's over, it's over. You know, you go, listen, that word got co-opted. Pick a new one. Yeah, it's just changed 100%. Pick a new word to describe yourself. I mean, like, I wouldn't have never described myself as a liberal. But would have like like i would have been like oh i don't think i've ever said

that but i probably would have like thought that up until five years ago then i was like no i'm like you can't you can't say that i'm saying that anymore you can't be saying that saying that horrible like very quickly i go all right well that's the the days of me ever saying that long gone i don't think i ever said i'm anything i don't think i've said it but i would have like if you made me like gun to my head pick like 10 years ago it would have been like like obama i was like yeah well that was when they were legitimately arguing over gay marriage exactly yeah exactly and you're like yeah i guess they're like trying to end wars and gay marriage i'm like yeah and legalize. Yeah.

I guess I'm liberal. Whatever. I wouldn't even think about it. Like basically the pronoun thing was like, I feel like one of the major things that was like a real fork into people. When did you, when it was you for you, when was the time that you sort of, uh, the, probably the first time where you're like, oh, things are going crazy. Do you remember? probably the first time where you're like,

oh, things are going crazy. Do you remember? I don't know. Probably like, I mean, it would be 2014, 2015, like in that realm. I remember, yeah, because we, I remember in that realm. Somewhere around there, probably more like late 2015. I remember somewhere in that realm. Because it was definitely after we finished filming Filth City.

Somewhere in between when we... Where you go, oh, things are getting wild. Yeah, see, things are getting kind of wacky. It kind of... Well, it reminded me, because I remember I was pretty into all this stuff when I was in college, like anyone else. And then when it sort of came back, I remember... You know how you do things that are lame?

I kind of feel embarrassed about it. Yeah. But it was, yeah, probably 2014, 15, whatever. I remember when the calling everyone a racist thing started. And I had this theory that I was like, you know, talking my girlfriend at the Times-Earoff about that calling everyone a racist will make them more racist. is that if because of how people's psychology works if you say okay if you do this you're a racist and they do that they either need to change their whole way that they do everything or admit that they're a racist so i was saying that a lot of people are just going to be like well i guess i'm a racist then if that so that's what which i think after a long time sort of did

people did get there but i wrote an essay about it yeah and now and i never did anything with it i wrote to myself essentially an essay about it and are and I never did anything with it I wrote to myself essentially an essay about it and are you going to read it right now? no I felt really lame oh well I mean yeah because you wrote an essay

I wrote no I felt like a dork like I remember like even a couple months later being like what the fuck are you doing you loser that's funny

yeah I was like I get it I mean I understand it was almost like a theory you were like kind of putting your theory, which I agree to a degree, to a, I think the only thing

with that theory. The original version of woke racist. Yeah, but it's like, it's not like people got more racist. They were just like, fine, call me a racist. Right. But that was what I said.

They became accepting of being called the racist because they knew they weren't versus people being like, I'm going to become overtly more racist. But also I kind of yeah but my thing was like it was like me i don't know i was i never considered myself racist people were like oh you're like you know people would say or whatever like whatever they would call you and i'd

say fine my theory was more that they would be racist so maybe there's some holes in it but my theory was more about the idea i mean that did happen too right it probably did happen too and one of my reasons for it i think a lot of it happened because of the identity politics stuff that I didn't necessarily predict in my original... My original... My original... That's gay. But my thought was more about identities and that once people agree that they're an identity,

then they fucking go in further. And I thought that was kind of where I was thinking about where someone goes, if you switch in your brain that you are that, if I see you in a year, you'll be more of that. Just like anything. It's like if someone switches where, oh yeah, I guess I'm like a grad professor now.

And then you go, maybe I'll get the fucking jacket with the pads on the shoulders. Oh, for sure. You lean into it. Or someone who's like used to be straight. I'm gonna go start rolling my own cigarettes i think any anytime someone lean accept something then they lean more into it i think that was kind of maybe more yeah i agree with that i mean the trumper people no doubt like a lot of people i think who are like hardcore

trumpers were never hardcore political people where they supported a president no i think they probably had the red foreman thing to some degree the same reason that the same way that people in new york are just like you just you don't even think about it you just know republican bad i think a lot of them it's like oh what is he one of those fucking liberals like it was just that yeah without actually probably being as politically active for some people but i think people got like i think a lot of people who would have never considered you know like donating to a political party. Of course.

Like they did all this stuff. And to the political party, they never expected to support. Oh, I see. We're saying like people who are like never. I mean, we had friends who, you know, broke up friendships with people because because the person would straight up be like, you know what? This Trump guy, like he's not as bad as people are giving him saying he is it's over and it's done and then they're like i can't be friends with this person you know and he doesn't hate but they're they're shocked that they couldn't believe that they heard these words coming out of someone's mouth um well on the on the same topic

sort of of the lying uh corporate media media on all sides. Fucking, I don't know if you saw this, but Dave Smith did Rogan. I was just listening to it yesterday. Yeah, so I don't know. I didn't listen to the whole thing. So basically, he did Rogan, and then basically Dave Smith,

Joe Rogan said some stuff about masks or whatever. They were all up in arms. About the vaccine. He's like, if I was 20 years old or whatever, and I was healthy, I wouldn't get the vaccine. everyone's you know whatever and that's but then they write the article and they so dave smith whose entire deal is being a libertarian top to bottom very funny we did shows with them uh this day the other night yeah yeah really good comedian yeah but um he uh he so he goes they wrote the article and they go, Joe Rogan was in an interview with Republican comedian,

Dave Smith. And they said that a few times or whatever. And, and you go, if you look at his thing, every third word is libertarian. They, but they don't accept the idea of like,

I've seen this a lot where a lot of people on the left are like, there's no such thing as a libertarian. They're just Republican. They're literally a party. I realize that, but people on the left, I'm not saying the thing as a libertarian they're just republicans they're literally a party i realize that but people on the left i'm not saying the right well i don't think so i don't think that's what it is because they did correct it after he said that he said he eventually they did you know they did the double the double dirty where they released the article and then two days later put a small correction at the bottom not what we're doing when we make

our corrections and small right old and right off the top something that rhymes with bold but they go so i i the only two options are they're the biggest liars in fucking history or they really really don't get it and you think it's more that they don't get it i think there's i don't think it's a big lie. They're like, well, this is basically... I think they think of libertarianism as a sect of conservatism versus its own completely different thing. Because I see people talk... That's what I'm saying, though. But to be fucking a political columnist... Oh, yeah, ridiculous.

You have to be the dumbest person in the world. Yes. I mean, if you're... Anyone who took a poli-sci degree or went to fucking school for any sort of social sciences for the most part that was into any of this stuff,

they know that it was kind of first year of shit that half the people go full communist and half the people go full libertarian. Right.

That's like, that is the dynamic of like college kid shit. You know what I mean? 100%. You go full Adam Smith wealth of nations or you go full fucking Karl Marx. Rightx right so to have the littlest knowledge where you don't know the

difference between those two things you have absolutely no business so i i lean more to what you know what publication was this was that yes i do uh vice magazine daniel paul is checking oh wow oh wow i'm shocked well again vice magazine the people who hardcore lefties who work at vice magazine they don't see a difference between a libertarian and a republican they're like everybody who's not me not everyone who's not me is a republican sure but you know but if you're not saying the right but you i can understand that for a normal person but that's it's like you're gonna be a political columnist and just go uh yeah no i don't think that communist and uh i don't think that communism

and yeah it's vice it's like right you're fucking your whole bread and butter is the fact these guys are fucking inconsistently retarded my butter just my butter you goddamn butter in your bread with these retards um also i wanted to do a shout out to sure mics because they uh they gave me uh suited the place up speaking about butter sound buttery right now yeah well they do sound buttery sure hooked it up they fucking reached out the um okay but so i found this article that i thought was funny and it relates to so modern love this is on on the New York times. Polyamory. Should my boyfriend,

uh, should my boyfriend has two partners. Should I be his third? And that's the title of the article. I don't even understand that polyamory, but my boyfriend has two. She's got two. He's got two other girlfriends.

Should I be his? Why is she already his boy? Why is he already her boyfriend? If she's not, it's not quite as boyfriend yet, or maybe she's thinking about leaving i see what you're saying you know what i'm saying like the logically she's like she should say my prospective boyfriend has two yeah my future boyfriend i got you okay so possible boyfriend so out of the gate you know i'm just critiquing the article you're critiquing the grammar what else is new that's what do you

mean that doesn't that literally doesn't make sense but But, so, one of the interesting things I think about all these articles, and other people have talked about this, but connecting it is, obviously, you know,

the same with the trans stuff where all these things are social contagions. Contagions? Contagions? I didn't realize this, but they were saying that suicide, places don't,

they're not legally allowed to, if if someone if a lot of people start committing suicide patrick was the first person who ever told me that that we talked about economics i had no idea so they're not allowed on the news to talk about kids having suicide because more do it yeah so in japan that's why it's it's because they're epidemics and they're social contagions you know contagions and one of the things about that is the shootings yeah like the shootings if they the because they're like this is the if you make it the number one thing in the world yeah more keep happening because you wouldn't even have thought if that's an option you go you wouldn't even have thought oh maybe i should go shoot up a school as well if you're a kid that's having a fucking whatever you're crazy or you know if you're in

if you're a talking about joining isis or what a gang or whatever the more they make it a thing the more it's now an option for you absolutely people are impressionable and and that's what happens with lots of stuff anything they becomes the number one issue there's obviously an uptake in it or whatever but i think so new york times they're posting this stuff it's like they can almost predict their own prophecies because they go polyamory's in and they post 9 000 articles about polyamory and then two years later they can do the stats and it's upkick and they go see yeah we have a giant platform we keep pushing polyamory and yeah you get to decide yeah so it's a thing but that's why they keep you know posting these articles is

because they release the articles and then other people look at them and they go oh how i become a journalist is i go fucking date a guy with nine boyfriends and then write the article. But it's a funny article. Wait, so this is by a journalist? Well, I define journalist, but she writes... Like, is she a staff? It's an opinion columnist. Okay.

I'm not her biographer. Well, I'm just curious. Yeah. She's... Oh, she... I looked at the thing. She's employed by the New York Times. Yes. I don't know. It could be freelance. Freelance, okay. A lot of times these articles come out in like nine different places. well I'm just curious yeah she's oh she I looked at the thing she's employed by the New York Times yes

I don't know could be freelance freelance okay a lot of times these articles come out in like nine different places right right right I've had that before

I mean we have friends that wrote articles that got picked up other places and you just end up there yeah I saw I was looking at the National Post I sometimes read some Canadian stuff

and there was like a Matt Taibbi who's that he's like that guy he's been on Rogan a bunch he's in Rolling Stone he's been on rogan a bunch he's uh and rolling stone he's he's a writer uh he writes some good stuff articles he's on substack now but um he he was there and like you could tell they just licensed it that's what happens a lot yeah so the articles this is how it starts my mind could ration so it's a woman and she's you know grappling with the idea of being the third boyfriend but she's polyamorous but she's having some second thoughts my mind could

rationalize polyamory but my heart rebelled so this is how it starts which is one of those things where how many how they accidentally sort of tell the truth without realizing it it's like out of out of the gate they're like yeah i'm trying to rationalize this fact that I'm polyamorous, but, uh, thing I, but I certainly hate. Yeah.

But for some reason, it's like literally like I'm trying to rationalize enjoying eating bugs, but I hate eating bugs. That's exactly what it is. Explain it. Oh, my brain's so stupid. Yeah.

I'm trying to, my dumb ass body. Yeah. My dumb ass taste buds and body. After the ninth log of shit, I had to come to a crossroads. A rational conclusion that I don't like eating shit. Well, no, she hasn't come to that yet. She's just, she's wrestling with all these concepts in her brain.

Like, you know, maybe my brain's wrong. You know, maybe her brain's just been conditioned poorly to not like shit. Or be the third girlfriend. But yeah, by the end of it, I just respected the guy. I'd been, I'd been wandering the liquor store for some minutes when the clerk approached me and asked if I needed help. I considered presenting my situation.

Hello. I would say I'm wine shopping for dinner with my boyfriend and his two partners whom I'll be meeting for the first time. You wouldn't happen to have a stock of white wine that says, I'm sorry, please like me. Instead. I said,

I'm just looking. So she is the new girlfriend. She's officially white wine that says, I'm sorry, please like me. Instead, I said, I'm just looking. So she is the new girlfriend. She's the new girlfriend. She's officially new. She's the new girlfriend. It's like instead of meeting the parents in polyamory, she's meeting the new girlfriends. These guys just must have zero time or zero anything to do, too. Oh. Okay.

How much has your life been busy? I was actually thinking we might talk about that on that page. Yeah. It's a little too personal. Yeah. Yeah. The fucking. How much has your life been a time crunch because of having a girlfriend right now?

Right now. Can you imagine tripling that puppy? And not to mention the and triple the problems because the all the problems that arise from that. Well, you got to get really like, like, I'd say the number one style into the lifestyle, but also like really independent. Like, you can't have three needy girlfriends. from that well you gotta get really like like i'd say the number one style into the lifestyle but also like really independent like you can't have three needy girlfriends you do have three needy girlfriends but i'm saying you have there has to i've had non-needy okay okay what percentage of

girlfriends aren't needy in my life i've only had four what percentage of your boyfriends were needy to one of them wasn't so you've had mostly needy girlfriends? Yeah, 75%. Okay, and that's, you know, it's not necessarily a case study. That could be that they saw a sucker. Okay, so in your mid-30s and you've had one that isn't needy. Yeah. Okay, so could you find three at the same time that aren't needy?

That's what I'm saying. I don't know, but I'm just saying that's the only way that it could work. Well, I think how it works is it's your full-time fucking job. You know, you make fucking 30 grand a year trading stocks or something like that that takes you an hour a day. Yeah. Some shit like that. No, you got to be in real estate. I feel every person who's poly has got to be real estate.

Yeah, they're all real estate agents. Or crypto. Like crypto, you're a crypto investor, poly. That's an okay job for poly. Maybe bartender, maybe. And she goes, but again, you're a crypto investor, Polly. That's an okay job for Polly. Maybe bartender, maybe. And she goes, but again, you're still going to have them showing up. But he goes, instead I said, I'm just looking. Also, you know, we all, oh, my tattoo.

That's because I'm branded. You're currently going to read about me on the news. She said, dating someone who was already in an established romantic relationship did have its perks. I didn't want to surrender time for my projects or friends. So it was a relief to have a relationship constrained to specific days of the week, Mondays and Thursdays, when Juhana's live-in partner had regular plans. So his name is Juhana and he lives with his other girlfriend. Sounds like a dude who would have. That's a funny part with the meeting them too because I would just be like.

Yeah, I mean, listen. that's a funny part with the meeting them too because i would just be like yeah i mean listen um if we're gonna be dating or whatever and you're paulie you do your thing we can do whatever we want but i'm not meeting them yeah well then you're not paulie you're just yeah this is like an affair have you ever done stuff with a girl that was paulie no uh no one time when i was fucking on tour with comedy well there's like 26 probably met some girl and then she goes she's like just so you know i have a boyfriend i'm paulie and all this stuff and i'm like yeah whatever i was in one city for one night whatever right and then she came out uh and then it was an airbnb but one where i only rented a room early days of airbnb brought the girl back

whole stink and then the people came people came in yelling on the door this you remember that yeah it was not a lot and there's a whole stink they tried to kick me out and then the girl they kick and i was i go what's the big deal baba and they go it's three in the morning at this point i was yelling and screaming too probably we're like literally probably the door next door and you know she's silent but i'm you know how i feel like thor's hammer three in the morning and then you know so they came in and then the girl had to leave in the middle of the night because of the thing and i okay whatever and then i woke i was smashed i woke up being like okay that was a lot probably gave me a bad airbnb review yeah i'm surprised you have an account still and then they go okay so on the days that she visits once every monday to thursday on these

days i would sometimes visit the apartment they shared an airy flat in the suburb of helsinki where the windows overlooked a sea of trees there juhana doesn't that sound like a pretty polyamorous guy's name well now that i know he's finnish yeah i think that's just oh juhana. Doesn't that sound like a pretty polyamorous guy's name? Well, now that I know he's Finnish, yeah, I think that's just... Oh, Juhana. I think that just sounds like a... Juhana would cook for me. This is definitely, that's who you get. A guy named Juhana that's wearing robes. It's a fancy guy named John, basically.

He's wearing robes. He's cooking for you. He was the type who shopped for flavored salts specifically at specialty stores and sharpened his own knives. Real piece of work, this guy is. Sounds like a hipster. Though his partners weren't there. they weren't entirely absent either we ate our two tofu burgers at the table between his live-in partner self portraits and his second partner's plans so where did they

go they have to take off for the night he tells them they've got to hit the brim yeah you gotta hit the bricks by the way such a serial killer between bites juhana told me his partners had made fun of him for talking so much about me. They asked if I'm planning to bring you over anytime soon to show you off. Isn't that the most serial killer thing you've ever heard in your life? And then he made... Imagine you're with some girl.

And then he did bring her over but made them... We're going to find out. But you're with the girl. And she goes, my two other boyfriends would love to meet you. They've been begging. They said, I talk about you so much. He's in bed with his two girls. One arm around each of them.

He goes, Mariana's so fucking sick. In what scenario? He's with his other two girlfriends. I'm just thinking about Mariana. Being like a poly, as far as I understand it, because I've seen some poly TikTokiktok stuff and like that comes in my feed it's not just like you have a foursome every time it's no it's still one-on-one yeah you have a schedule like it's not just orgies it's like it seems like if anything it's so he's with both of the other girls he's one-on-one with them just it's just one-on-one

it's like hey who wants to fuck him this time you know who you would love yeah so this but this guy's all in he's very that yeah that's where you almost have to respect him that he's like he's got this racket where he's talking but this guy's life sounds like hell and he said one day when he looked up at me from the armchair in my room where he liked to sit and read of course this guy likes to sit and read for sure poetry and he's reading a poetry book steven seagal style where they go who wrote that and he goes i did i'm reading my own poetry crying and they go where you like to sit and read and he said damn i suppose i'm falling in love with you i fucking hate romance dude romance stink are you probably a lover boy though you ever do that stuff uh i mean for maybe my second and third

girlfriends not the main one i'm not giving that shit you ever look at a girl's eyes paul's like that he's very no paul's yeah paul's of course he's mr lover he say he goes i've never felt this way before writes poems for girls yeah legit writes poems he like does paul probably does like buys a bunch of rose petals and like you know puts it on the bed. He does all that shit. I don't know. Lev's probably like that too. He goes, I've never felt this way about anyone myself.

You complete me? We're like two puzzle pieces. I'm like, I'll pay for dinner. That's basically it, yeah. You don't do any of that lover boy shit. Well, yeah, that's an argument we were having with Lev because when we were out out he was like don't you kate that like ryan isn't uh emotional and all this stuff but really he was trying to rationalize to his girl like that he cries yeah he's like right can you believe this guy he's not like a mess yeah i'm a total well you have to if you have to rationalize that if you were the guy that's all over the place but but he goes as if his words weren't a chemical catalyst.

My visions of our relationship began to metamorphosize from restaurant outings to casual trips to a, to us building a home. So she started, you know, lo and behold, thinking about what if I dated this guy, but just me, I got fucking nuts. I got a fucking bizarre idea. What if the two of us just dated? That's a crazy little coup she's trying to do there. That's what I'm saying.

He must be not happy with it. She's the third one, and she's like, she already has designs of getting rid of the first two. Imagine taking that shit from your third chick. Yeah. It's one thing if you're first chick. You go, I'm taking this bullshit from my third chick. What are we?

Yeah, what are we? But also, she's like, you need to get rid of the other two. You're like, you're number three. You are firmly number three. I don't know where you get off thinking we're getting rid of one and two these visions we're getting rid of anybody as you so i think we'll see what happens this is ben's these visions but it's just such yeah it's gonna be such a long way to get back to the girl being like yeah it turns out that whole shit

doesn't work. These visions. I mean, and the other thing, too, you forget in these polyamorous situations, too. And maybe this maybe you, Hannah, is not pulling that off. But it's like it probably works a lot better if you have three chicks that all get 100 grand a year from you. You're paying all of their apartments and you just you'll be like, hey, you have an apartment. That's a sugar daddy arrangement, I believe. Well, is it? Is it a sugar daddy with your girlfriend? If they all of their apartments and you just, you'll be like, hey, you have an apartment. That's a sugar daddy arrangement, I believe. Well, is it? Is it a sugar daddy with your girlfriend if you pay for it?

If they all have their own apartments? No, but she's your actual girlfriend in this scenario. I guess. Obviously, it's the same thing. But, you know, to be completely honest, most fucking husband and wife relationships are a sugar daddy situation. I guess I would say in a scenario. No, she loves me. No.

No. No, I guess I would say in a scenario where it's like you all live under the same roof. Okay. But. No, but you wouldn't want that. You'd want them to all have their own separate apartment that you pop into smash. Ideally, it would maybe be in the same building. Like if you lived in a building and then you just had different units in the same building.

Yeah, that'd be okay. That'd be solid. Pictures of them dominated who on his phone. So he's got all these pictures of him and he's on his phone. Like that's her naked. It's kind of a lot of, it's, it's a little bit bro.

We like this guy's just with the chicks. Like, yo, my other, check out this chick. I smashed. I imagine it was like Russell brand though. That's why I bet you're like,

it's like, it's not, she's not nude. She's not new to the photo. It's just a closeup of her face. Right. And he's like, it's beautiful,

right? Beautiful. And you go, and you go, no, I'm just talking about her soul. The girl's such a beautiful soul. Just her aura. Sometimes one of them would call while he was with me. And after some conversation, he'd lower his phone and says, she says hello.

Imagine if you're the other, you're the dude. I know. It's like, yeah, Randy says hi. Randy just wanted you to uh you just want to make sure you fucking uh tune her good tune her up good tonight tune me up real nice well this guy's sort of cocky because i would the other thing is all this shit's so manipulative that's the same reason why i kind of always have to keep a small circle is because i don't like manipulating people that was why i was so tortured with girls when i was younger because i'm like i know i kind of don't want to be in this relationship

and she's getting too into it i was very tortured by this whole idea of like i don't want to you know wrap their whole brain up because i'm so sick you know whatever like clocking 20 year old shit or whatever right you don't get it she's gonna be a fall in love with me man i can't even just date because he's gonna fall in love with me and i'm what was the thing from last week or whatever i'm uh hypo whatever the hypopoly i'm hype no whatever it was but but yeah so this guy you know all these three girls are eventually kind of gonna fall in love with you hana he's a master of the art he's basically casanova he's mastered the art it at some point it becomes sociopathic i mean he probably goes and talks to 100 girls at the mall every day. That's the truth because he's always auditioning for a fourth.

Yeah. Yeah, so he says, I've wondered, and because he wouldn't let her be in a relationship, she goes, I wondered what was wrong with me. So she's wondering who will just won't be with her. Why had the polyamorous community rephrase the rush of falling in love as new relationship energy that's what they call it when you've got the new that's what the old bags call the new fucking bow like oh it's just just new relationship and don't worry i can yeah i mean it is that is a thing it is true but it's a little bit the old bit that that was

started by the guy telling the old wife right the new wife's not going to threat. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Did I, did I truly inspire so little emotion that he wouldn't care if I dated someone else? I subjected Wuhan to painful conversations and many meltdowns during which I would demand we break up. And if we broke up and he break up with his partners and that he would, but often I would say that he shouldn't break up with him in the same conversation.

So this is what you're saying, where it's like, this is your third chick being like, all of this is coming from your third chick. The mistress being like, you have to leave your other mistress and your wife. Knock off. Bitch, you're replaceable. Yeah. Also, it's a very no kids game. You know're replaceable. Yeah.

Also, it's a very no kids game. You know what I mean? Yeah. This does not work by showing up to parent, teacher. Well, I think if you have kids and you're poly, then you're just like, if they all have kids, then you're just a Mormon. Yeah, you're just Mormon.

You're Mormon at that point. If they all have their own kids, you're just Mormon. It is better to be maybe poly with your kids because then you go, I can't leave the first wife because we have the kids. You have the ultimate reason why. I end up poly on top of that. And then he said,

well, mainly they are just happy we found one another, he would say about his other wives. But they're getting a little weary now. My other wives are afraid that you might be manipulative. He goes, I love how she's the manipulative. She comes off as pretty fucking nutso, actually. They're all fucking nutso. But she has this position of authority because she's writing in the New York Times.

Oh, yeah. So you instantly take her seriously. You're like, this is a serious person. You're in the New York Times. That is the pinnacle of journalism. I know, New York fucking joke. But I'm saying, yeah. So you instantly take her seriously. You're like, this is a serious person. You're in the New York Times. That is the pinnacle of journalism. I know, New York fucking. But I'm saying, whatever, five years ago, that was literally, before Trump, that was the pinnacle of being a journalist.

I remember Gary Joyce got a thing in the New York Times. It was sick. It was a huge fucking deal. And it was cool, yeah. It was massive. It couldn't be bigger. New York Times bestseller. Huge.

Now they're just like these lunatics. Lunatics get a fucking editorial page. They're like, I'm fucking crazy. Yeah, they go, well, are you running your own? I'm trying to be some dude's third girlfriend. It's not working out. Yeah, yeah. What happened?

I'm in the New York Times. Oh, really? What was your article about? My fucking dude I'm dating's two other chicks that she's fucking think I'm manipulative. Can you believe these people? Everyone needs to know that. Also funny, too, because he goes, you you know he talks it over with his other two girls because they go listen my other girls uh think you're crazy because he's been going like based on only information that he's told them yeah based on the facts but of course it's true but he's kind of

the other girls like the other girl thinks that i should be with just her. What do you guys think about that? You know, and he goes, listen, ball and chain. I talked it over with my other two balls and chains. She's like, you know, we you should be with just me. It's like I got to talk it over with the other two ball and chains first. Imagine you're in the middle of like a three. Like you're the good guy in the middle. You must be some sort of masochist to want to.

Well, yes, he's blaming everything on the other ball and chains he's going to one girl he's like I'd love to do that but my other ball and chains you know getting a little manipulative and they're like she's manipulative I go maybe she is

maybe she isn't I would also be prone to kill myself I would do like the Japanese the harakiri just the knife knife in the abdomen you see

there was a period early in our relationship where Wuhana love the name would question what started to question that by the way j-u-h-a-n-a okay juhana questioned whether he was even he said whether i was even polyamorous at all perhaps the intensity of our feelings in single mind and this meant something if i were free he would said would we really be exclusive he goes i'm starting to

think that you might not even polyamorousorous. I'm starting to like Johanna. And that moves, though? Yeah. That's what I'm saying. I don't know. He goes, all these questions are making me think you might not be poly after all. That's what I was saying. I go, that's such a polyamory.

But she's also, it sounds like she doesn't know she's poly. I'm starting to suspect that you might not even be fucking poly. No, no, no, no. It's fine. It's fine. I'm poly. I'm poly. Well, good.

Because I have another fucking girl coming over. That's what I was saying. I was starting to love this guy. I'm starting to fucking wonder if you're even polyamorous. What's wrong, Johanna? I just, I'm starting to wonder. In the end, the dinner never happened. The tentative date was set, but then he postponed because of a scheduling conflict with his

second partner, which I would imagine happens quite a bit. Oh, yes. This guy just has like a full-time assistant on his calendar. Weeks later, we spoke. Yuhana had come to the conclusion that the disposition for poly or monomaly was something innate, like sexual orientation. Perhaps if it was genetic and she just didn't have it. You were born poly, is what you're saying, which is one of the dumbest things in the world.

He goes, listen, I was born this way and you weren't. And you weren't. We just couldn't have worked out because we're too different. He said, I'm polyamorous and you're moniamorous. Like the Capulets and the Montagues. How good of an excuse for that is to break it up with your girl, though. Have you ever tried to use polyamorous? I've dabbled with that excuse when though? Have you ever tried to use polyamorous?

I've dabbled with that excuse when I was younger. To say I'm poly? I just don't think I'm meant to be with one person. The girl's like, shut the fuck up, Ryan. I go, yeah, you're right. Give it a shot. Thanks, Ryan. Give it a shot. No, I don't have the nerve to fuck with you.

Have you ever said you're crazy? Have you ever done that one? What? Call the girl crazy? I've never with a girlfriend. No, but with a girl, I was sort of dating, being like, just too fucked up oh no no like i'm just honestly i said you're too fucked i'm just a mess i can't bring in anyone you're not a mess i go i'm fucking my that one girl who said we were in a relationship on the second date or whatever i literally what

happened with that this was like right uh we went on so i I remember Chris Allen and Brian had that show. Anyways, I just picked her up and we like whatever had a night and then we went out for dinner the next night or maybe like two nights later. Yeah, I don't remember. Okay. We're like at Rodney's Oyster Place. We're eating oysters and she's and this is where I was thinking. Are you doing it all sexually? No, no.

I was thinking about moving. But this is when I was thinking about moving to Vancouver. I was like considering it. There's like seven, eight years ago and i was like thinking about it and then uh and i was like yeah i might move to vancouver and she's like cool she's like you know like i'll move with you and i'm like no i'm like you could also move but this is our second date and then she goes you know we're in a relationship right and i was like what and i started laughing i didn't know how to like i didn't know how to respond to it because it was so crazy.

And I'm slurping oysters. No, I'm literally like, I'm so nervous and uncomfortable at this point. Because I'm like, she's insane. That I was laughing maniacally. I couldn't hold it in. I kept saying, I'm laughing. But I'm like, I'm sorry. I kept saying, I'm sorry that I'm laughing. I would love if this was on camera.

Dude, me too. The first thing I did, she was supposed to come to a show at – He pulled the camera out? Can you say that again? We were about to go to Vape on the Lake, and then this is literally the second date we've ever been on. The waiter comes, and we're having this whole thing. I'm laughing. The waiter's like, can I get you anything?

She's like, sorry. She's like, we're fighting. Just come back in a bit. She goes, we're fighting. Insanity, right? The whole thing was nuts. Then she starts bringing up And she's like, sorry. She's like, we're fighting. Like, just come back in a bit. She goes, we're fighting. Insanity, right? The whole thing was nuts. Then she starts bringing up how she's like frozen her eggs.

She's like 28 or something. She's like, you know, I froze my eggs. I was like, oh my God, this is fucking never. This is like that classic never stick your dick in crazy. And then she was supposed

to come to the show at Vape on the Lake later. And then we went back to her house like after the dinner. She's like, is it cool if I come to the show still? I on the lake later and then we went back to her house like after the dinner she's like is it cool if i come to the show still i'm like no you said that you got on text or in person in person i was like that's not gonna i don't think that's that's not gonna nothing to do with this whole thing i just suck at comedy i don't know i don't need you to add insult to injury on your night right now it was crazy and then like i went just the first

thing i think i told solda the whole thing i wish i recorded me telling soldo because it was so fresh exactly what happened jesus christ oh man it wasn't as he says it wasn't that i couldn't love multiple partners simultaneously but it was that i wouldn't that's what you honestly can't it's like you know it's not that you can't that you won't it's not that i can't play in the nba i just won't it's not that you can't have let me fuck two other girls but still be your actual boyfriend it's that you won't and unfortunately for not because i thought and he she says well it wasn't because what she thought was ethically wrong or impractical or too difficult it was because it was sacrilegious to the idea of love I possessed. Disciplines of both faith, blah, blah, blah.

She kind of goes on and then she does a whole big rationalization of, well, see, actually, I am potentially poly. I am still poly. At the end of it, she is still poly. But it's just that, you know, maybe not. Not this kind of poly. Maybe I'll be the second girlfriend. A couple of last things before we

um before we wrap this puppy up one of the things that so we sort of grazed over this last week where um you know they're doing all these you know uh tax plans or whatever and the idea is to get all this free money from the billionaires right and i was the reason that i i've been sort of thinking about because there's always this idea of that people go well it's look at these poor people that that are mad that uh billionaires are getting their money away taken away right they go you know some guy works at a truck stop being like oh why are you taking money from billionaires and then obviously the other side would be the, you know. Wait, the person in the truck is mad that they're taking money? No, no.

The people who are like communists or whatever would make a meme of like, they take a tax of a billionaire tax and then truck stop guys mad because like he thinks it affects him. Right, right. You think you're getting any of that. Yeah. No, no. Sorry.

I guess I'm saying this wrong. You think that you're a billionaire like like oh you think that's a billionaire tax people are mad about taxes that don't affect them and they're in the mind yeah you're not in that tax bracket correct but it's it's kind of an interesting thing where they when they do these tax things well the first thing is that and i was kind of thinking i'm like it's not that i'm fucking you know so pro billionaire or whatever yeah but all of these performative taxes they don't work i mean the main thing is these crazy taxes you're like these people don't have cash in their account right it's all in stock and and so that's the first part and i think that david sacks i was kind of saying he was like

you know this is going to change nothing in my life except i'll do less investments he's like will i change what investments i do probably not i'll just do less of them so less people's companies and you know that kind of thing where who's gonna that gonna affect well you know probably the people of color and all that like whose businesses are you know whatever it'll lower investment lower investment but and that's the whatever you can people can have their arguments but there is a thing the part that i was been thinking a lot about is it's like this idea that you know how a lot of movements just come from venom instead of trying to help because all those people that are billionaires or even people that are millionaires are already millionaires

and billionaires right they're already that and they have that a lot of those people have some of that money already tax-free yeah they own their house they don't pay tax on that again no so all they're saying is like so everyone that's young shouldn't become that and it was this weird thing where it's almost like all of the taxes anyone that's 60 that's been rich their whole life has a lot of money and if they stopped working tomorrow a lot of them would be fine so it's a lot of times there's this thing where it's like 20 year olds that want to make sure that no other 20 year olds can get rich yeah for sure it's like because it might hurt a billionaire a tiny bit let's make it so no one could ever be successful like you know also

it's like billionaires are like their whole thing is crafty tax stuff right if you're starting a business right now you don't get the so you essentially they got to build their business in a different world you have to build your business well no i would say that in that sense like they're like well we're not we're only you're only going to be like have repercussions of this once you get into that stratosphere no because the corporate tax on businesses and no there are other taxes going up as well oh not the cap gains tax all of them yeah so my point is it's like it's people that hate these guys and they're punishing themselves a little bit because it's like all of the taxes on businesses and all the extra stuff on businesses it's like so anyone who's trying to get successful right now, it's like hindering them.

And anyone that has a billion dollars, I mean, fuck, sure, it maybe fucks up their investments a little bit. But at the end of the day, it's really hurting people that want to be successful right now. Yeah, it's not a good idea. I don't think there's a lot of people who have, and it's not going to pass. Maybe the corporate tax rate. Well, yeah, it might be a showboat and then it'll go down or whatever but i'm not even i guess my point isn't so much to weigh in on whether it's good or bad as much as does it's an interesting thing where i go it's almost like there's yeah there's a lot of young people that are hurting themselves a lot because it. Because it might scratch fucking Jeff Bezos.

Yeah. And I think there's. For sure. Isn't that a lot of. I agree with that. The world in general. With everything right now. It's people.

You know. I mean. Because it'll hurt their enemy a little bit. It's going to take. They'll fucking. You know. But I don't think. They don't.

I don't think they think about that. Because I think a lot of people are like. Well I'm never going to be. I'm never going to be. I'm never going to be able to own a house. Like I'm never going to be able to. Why not? You can own a house. It's not that. Dude. If you. a house it's not that dude if you if you put money in bitcoin if

you put a ten thousand dollars in bitcoin five years ago yeah you know what people can save ten thousand dollars in their 20s with a normal job you know what i mean yeah i mean they can but usually these people are not but it's not really true that you can't you know how many people do we know that are just joe blow that have fucking 100 grand in the bank because they got into fucking trading or whatever? Yeah, yeah. Totally happened. It can definitely happen. It's not even unfeasible.

Yeah. There's no question about it. But the real growth is getting more, anyway. Yeah, people would rather, but again, it's like if you have your ideology where it's like, you know, the government should support me and the quality, blah, blah, blah. They're like, I don't want to do this. Like, I don't want to have to do this. I just want it to be, like, i just want my share of some imaginary pie yeah i don't want to do any of that stuff but i don't want to do that stuff yeah i just want free

money i don't want to start a business and get rid i don't want to start a business and take on risk and do that stuff i just want so yeah it's it's like a culture shift i guess yeah it's like between what are the two different it's like a it's it's almost like america's culturally shifting more towards what canada was i guess which is obvious i guess but that's what it is it's just straight up is your is your culture geared towards greatness or geared towards i mean this culture obviously is geared towards greatness and again with the i'll say this the same thing that everybody said about trump where they're like oh trump's gonna ruin america it's like one president can't it's too big no but too big of a boat and I agree with you and that's that's why I was sort of backtracking a little bit because I don't think my point is can you believe this guy putting the

tax it's more just the people who are like cutting off their nose to spite their face that's that's yeah it feels like there's a lot of that going on I think they just don't think that this is going to like this was only a net benefit for them and not a negative in any way. Yeah, very possible. That's what I think. I think it's just short-term thinking where they think, like, I'll never have anything, so. Well, even if you think of the people in comedy that were kind of riled up and, you know, were about me the last week or whatever, right? I've given over $100,000 in people's pockets from that city.

You know what I mean? Yeah. The amount of money I've, I might have put as much money in comedians pockets as anyone yeah for sure do you know what i'm saying yeah a hundred percent and imagine like being there and starting a coup and i'm like you see some of these people and you go i've literally given thousands of dollars to some of your close friends yeah and you go let's stop that it's you know what i mean yeah let's stop that just like i don't want them to have it just so like i can you know yeah but that's what happens when your ideology is run by venom yeah oh i didn't know this oh there was a little bit of a

fucking thing about the box thing you never saw that i don't go on facebook so no i got sent it a thousand hundred times where was everyone was defending me oh but anyway i'm not i don't want to get too into it because I'm not going to say the names there's a new group and I don't even want to say names

like that or whatever but I got everyone just kept sending it to me so eventually I fucking had to look and it's just the people who thought of it

yeah it's exactly who I think it would be yeah but and whatever there's a million of those people but my point is and they

they just you know they're doing what they do and whatever but it all kind of I was thinking with everything, there's a lot of that where it's people are, yeah, cutting the cheese despite the knees.

Believe the old saying goes. That's how it goes. Okay, so this has been the boys cast. Me and Daniel are both in Virginia this weekend. More dates at RyanLongComedy.com and lots of stuff are coming. Lots of more dates are coming. A bunch of people fucking joined the Patreon.

So people are hitting me up being like, they like the fucking new format. Yeah, they're getting some messages as well. Yeah, it's fucking sick. So, you know you know join the fucking family on the Patreon it's popping off but other than that we're still going to be doing the episodes here every week

and thank you for sharing and telling all your friends and everything come check us out when we're in your city We are in forever.