The Boyscast with Ryan Long - Going Viral & Left Handed Diversity

Episode Date: July 24, 2020

This week I talk a bit about my video blowing up the internet and things associated to that, and how they are running out of things to complain about with a new Vice article about why they need to include left handed people in neuroscience studies patreon.com/theboyscast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You can tell our friends, and they can have my things when we're dead But we gonna live forever But we gonna live forever Welcome to the Boyscast with Ryan Long, first podcast exclusively for the boys If you're any new listeners, I would love for girls to be able to listen But there's electrocution software, and this is honestly, I've spent all my money on this I've invested, it's not a technology that is selling I've told everyone, I go, hey listen, I've developed this technology so girls can't listen

to your podcast. And they were like, yeah, well, why would we want that? And I go, crap. I called my investors. I go, we have a problem. And I said, well, what if we could repurpose it as a woke thing where white men can't listen to your podcast? And they're saying, now we are talking. And I said, unfortunately, I do not have that technology. This is exclusively designed for a woman's ear. There's actually less space between the two ears. And it's honestly, that's something to do with the circumference of the head and the electrocution software that allows it to happen. So that's the situation I'm in. I dumped all my money. I sold my house and on this electrocution software. And that's how I'm living.

Showcasing male artists on the boys cast. I'd love that if I just said I'm full. Yeah, we just this is a podcast showcasing male male artists. We've been unrepresented in tech showcasing, you know, people who bring their inventions here. We're showcasing male university professors like really just go hard on it. Really just lean into it. I've got a girl slave bringing me food. Get under people's skin.

Why the heck not? I like the idea that I've been thinking, you know, because really, girls can't listen. But can guys be on the podcast? And this is something I have gone back and forth on. Because if they pledge allegiance to the dogs dogs I don't see necessarily a problem but I was saying maybe they have to wear like a voice changer and they have a bag on their heads like really they have to do something titties out uh you know like I just have you know some big politicians on the thing whatever I get Alexandra Ocasio-Vortex I did a video where I was screwing

up her name Alexandria Ocasio-Tortex. Is that her name? And then I get her on and I'm like, listen, I don't know if the publicity team told you, but it's a titty out podcast. And you're like, why aren't your titties out? Because the dogs don't play by the rules. You're in the dog pound. But yes, you're going to have to get the gazooms out. What's that? The gazoombas. Did I stutter? Alexandria? Was there a stutter in my step? Well, then pop them out. Oh, you're milking? Pop that in. Let's get a milk fountain going. The boys cast. We having fun out here. Big viral video. Whoa. Eight million views or something like that. It was getting pretty popping off and a bit of controversy, if I'm going to be completely honest with you. First little bit was everyone being like, hey, nice.

Bill Burr's retweeting. You know, all these people that I've been following for years are all messaging me, all the comedians. And then a lot of the political guys started saying it. And then people like comedians I know were on top of it being like screw you guys you're the worst and i go can you imagine knowing someone regardless of your viewpoint and they have a video you know you've been like working together in entertainment forever and they have a video that does 10 million views or whatever like whatever it was and then your first thing is like let's wreck this i go and not to that's why the burr retweet was huge. You know, and Burr said, perfect. He retweeted the video. It goes perfect. If you haven't watched it, it's a, when woke

people and, uh, racists are actually the, they actually think the same on everything. And then, so Burr retweets the video every, like all my favorite comedians, I'll, I'll retweet this video. People were mentioning me and stuff like that. And then, and then they go on, they go, this is the worst blah, blah. Like you guys mean, and then they go, you guys are going down a dark path. That's what people are saying. I go, okay, Bill Burr just said, this is perfect. Like whatever you want to say about me, I go. So at what, at what point you go, okay, I'm you're out here arguing and Bill William Burr is said the exact opposite at the very least, at the very least you think you'd say, you know what, maybe I, maybe I should hold off on this one. Like, it's just, it's such a wild thing to see

some of the like pretty undeniable best comedians in the history of the world say something's great. And you go, they're all wrong. And you go, yeah, how do you think that that's, and, and, and not, and to come at it with like like everyone should know this or whatever. So I don't know. I just thought it was even if you think that or whatever, just as a person, you know, I have so many people in my life that I don't agree with their friggin politics. They have a video that's like 10 million views or whatever. You're like, oh, sick, dude, whatever. I had so many people match me.

They don't care. That's a thing. People have no idea. People that were every you know, there's about 50 people on the Internet right now. They're not happy with me. The sex test says Simon's the ultimate counselor. He started a, he started a trend being like these, this guy's the worst or whatever. And he started tweeting about me and trying to get some traction and not bad. Cause a lot of people just messaged under him. Fuck you. People just like suck a dick. So I thought that was pretty funny, but to have all these people

and everyone's getting mad at me. I go, listen, if I make stuff, everyone's allowed to get mad. I don't care. And I know that I'm doing some fucking stuff. But by the way, I don't a lot of times realize how aggressive things are. I never can tell. A lot of times I do something and people are like, that joke was crazy. I go, what?

I'm just a little, me? I'm just a little innocent Canadian boy. I don't, is this, is this bothering people? And they're like, your dick's out and you're yelling the N word. I go, well, then someone give me the rules because I'm just trying to play the game, honey buns. So they were, they were not happy with me. But the most important thing I go, I don't think you guys realize how many of your friends

message me about this stuff. Like so many of these people, these, you know, big celebrities or whatever, they work in TV and all this stuff. They're posting this guy's the worst. And I go, just, I don't think you have people that are working on like the daily show. People are working on, you know, all of these CBC, big agents that represent all you people and have to drop you when you get in trouble against their will. I don't think anyone realizes how much all of these people are texting me, Instagram me, Twitter people being like, yo, Loki doing the Lord's work. Yo, boys, boys, boys. I get frigging people that, you know, that you would think would be the most. And they mentioned me like, boys, boys, boys, like,

and no one cares. They think it's funny. They think I'm funny, whatever. So I don't know. I didn't really lose sleep over it. There was a point of me where I was just like, this is kind of stressful. I was like, you know what I mean? Cause if, you know, there's so much going on and you can't keep track of it either. My phone just going and you know, half every second, every one message is like, yo, you're the best thing ever. And then another message is like, you should die. What should happen is you should be put into a grave right now alive and we should be shitting on you. So you don't even suffocate on the dirt. You suffocate on our collective shit for your opinions that are different than ours. And I go, yikes, maybe put the phone down.

Not fun. But anyways, what are you going to do? I said it was pretty cool. Thanks for everyone who retweeted and all that stuff. People donated to the Patreon. Here we are. And then they go, you know, so the video is basically saying that,

you know, a lot of these people, when they focus on race so much, and that's when I grew up in Canada, it wasn't like that and everyone was uh and everyone was a lot more friendly with different races and all of my groups you know and i've kind of said this point before but i've hung out in the you know the music community my family's multicultural my super friend group my uh the comedy has always been a thing where how funny you are is maybe the best like your mute either in your music talent you know generally it thing where how funny you are is maybe the best. Like your music talent. You know, generally, it's probably how funny you are.

Even in the music industry, it's kind of like who's funnier. So this is how you design who you're friends with and who's this. And then there's this new thing where they're only friends politically. And I go, what is what is this new thing where all you talk about is race? That's all anyone wants to talk about. I go, I know you think that everyone agrees for you. And you think that, you know, black and brown people that don't agree with you are just dumb and they don't know what's best for them. But you know, a lot of them don't.

Maybe some of them do think, you know, the ones that are appropriating white people politics. That's the, uh, the appropriating the 20 year old girl politics. That's my new thing. I want to run for, I want to do a sketch running for president. The first candidate exclusively with 20 year old girl opinions. I have read half of the communist manifesto and I pledge to give all of the country's money away to everybody. And then we'll have no money left. The, the candidate of the 20 year old girl who just finished her first semester. That's my new, that's my new, uh, that's my new campaign exclusively running on the opinions of 20 year old girls. We have the best, the best 20 year old girl opinions. That's what I'm thinking. But they go, these people, they, okay. So if you, if you don't agree with that, they don't, I get the difference. I'm saying

essentially all you guys focus on race. It's too much. And, and basically I'm not even saying that don't focus on it all. My point is, is that in the constant 24 seven onslaught, you look, I go, you, these people always go there. There's more and more racist every day. And I go, if you do think that, if your opinion is like, I'm walking outside my house and there's a KKK meeting, he's riding by on a horses with a sword chopping off any minority's heads. That's your opinion. That's the world you think you're living in. If that is the world that you think you're living in and you say it's gotten worse in the last four years, well,

maybe you might want to take some responsibility for the fact that these like divisive politics, they're pointing fingers at people don't work all that great. Maybe telling if you do think it's getting worse, I don't even know. But if you do think, I mean, I do know it's getting worse and I know it's getting more divisive, but I don't know if necessarily people are getting more racist. But if you do think that, that you've radicalized people to, you know, more racist, you don't think that you're somewhat complicit in that? You haven't found out a little bit that the idea of giving people a lecture on why they're bad and why they're racist hasn't

yielded the results you wanted. So I go, why not step back and be like, hey, maybe let's try the other thing. And you go, no, we already know this is the best. And you go, I mean, there's not really evidence of it. I don't think you can look back in a time in history where identity became the entire thing ever and it actually made things better. So I don't really know what you're referring to. It's this idea of you don't need, you don't need evidence. We already just know the right one. You go, well, how is the right one? Because it feels right. And our heart's in the right place. Well, the bath to hell was paved on a highway with pussy. I don't know how the original saying goes,

but the saying that I know, the highway to hell was paved with too much pussy. As the great Drake says, too much pussy is the perfect way to not get anything done. And I've had... So these people that you're saying are racist or whatever, you know, have the wrong opinions, the cardinal sin of the wrong opinions. Why are they so, why are they all sharing a video that is obviously condemning racism? Like, how do you watch a video that's saying like, Hey,

these people all want segregation and we disagree with that. If they agreed with the racist, they'd be like, yeah, yeah, no, this is wrong. Because I'm making fun of essentially a woke person and a racist. And you're like, you're wrong. And racists are sharing this. Like, well, why would they be sharing a video that's making fun of them? Why? If you were racist, why would you share a video that's making fun of you?

That's like racists are losers. That's the underlying premise of the video. But also you're being that even though you don't realize it. And you go, well, they don't. So why would they be sharing that if they are racist? And you're like, well, they don't think they're racist. And I go, maybe if someone thinks they're not racist, and they're sharing videos that are like making fun of racism

and making fun of Woke Step for being racist, maybe at the very least, you guys agree on the same thing. You just might not agree on the same thing. You just might not agree on how to get there. And that's me being heartfelt. I say, listen, fellas, ladies, even ladies, regardless, gather round. I don't think 99% of the people want to live in a world where we go, you know what? The white man re-inspir the, no one wants that. That's a lie. No one wants that. People want to joke around with their friends and bill retreat. Bill, my buddy, bill, Billy B agrees with the kid. Uh, so take that very funny to film a video where I had to walk around with

a shirt that said racist, by the way, I kept dating up some black girl walked by. She goes, what the fuck? I don't know. It's for a video. She was like, the way. I kept dating it up. Some black girl walked by. She goes, what the fuck? I don't know. It's for a video. She was like, all right, all right. And then she started watching us. And I'm like, I don't want to do this video while she's watching me.

Danny had a woke shirt. Honest to God, to be completely honest, the racist shirt looks like a joke. When you're walking around with a racist shirt, everyone's like, ah, this guy's making jokes. When you're rocking around with a shirt that says woke, everyone's like, oh, woke boy. Hey, woke boy. Hey, woke boy.

Hey, fat Daniel Polishek, you woke boy. Look at me. Girls are great. Oh, I don't think that. It's a joke. Okay. And when I was filming, there was this guy playing guitar. Filming outside is a fucking nightmare.

And I'm trying to play guitar. And there's this guy playing guitar and harmonica. We sit down to film this motherfucker some people are out of their out of their lids I see these people I go where would you grow up in a barn this motherfucker we're starting we're starting to film and he sits down it's it's like somebody fucking hippie dude whatever right he sits down about five meters beside, starts playing guitar. And I'm like, you know, it's kind of like windy and stuff. So I don't know if we're going to hear the guitar that much.

Then he starts rocking out on the harmonica like he's Bob Dylan. First of all, we're in freaking East Village. The park is huge. There's plenty of seats, plenty of seats. He decides to sit next to us. He started playing harmonica. I go, okay. Probably rudest thing.

Maybe this is me. That like I'm so, you know, avoidant of confrontation. That I'm like, I'll do, you know. I would never in a million years do anything like that. So this guy sits next to us. And I go, hey. Hey, do you mind, dude? No.

If you wouldn't mind, we're like about to film a video. We're only going to be like 20 minutes. If you wouldn't mind, you know, just giving us a second. If you want, you can play the guitar, but just on the harmonica. And he goes, yeah, okay. All right. Hurry up. He goes, hurry up.

He said, let me hurry up. He goes, hurry up. I go, all right. I can't imagine ever doing that. And then like five minutes later, he just starts playing again. And the second time I go over there and this time I forgot to take my shirt off because I go over and I go, hey, if you're not going to stop, would you mind letting us know how long you're going to play for?

I guess we'll wait it out. And he goes, I don't know how long, however, I feel like it. And at that point, I'm like, he's being a real dick. But then there was also a part of me is like, oh, I have a shirt. This is racist on. So maybe he's like, screw you. So that wasn't a great. Some of the funniest things that happened about and listen, I have some stuff I have real stuff I want to talk about. But I thought it would be interesting to recap some of the last 24 hours

because it's been a bit of a wild thing. And, you know, people have been following and sharing the videos forever. And if you don't give a shit, you know, if you think this is gross, me wrapping up the whole viral thing, then in that case, you know, skip ahead 20 minutes. Or if you want to hear some of the funny things, then we'll do this. Yo, if we want to hear some of the funny things, we're doing here. Some of the funny things, one funny thing. I got all these people messaging me up for podcast, uh, uh, advertisements and I'm not against do a podcast advertisement. And I'm definitely not against like doing fucking blue chew or one of those ones as standard like i might have some friends that kind of do that at gas digital and i was like i think i might eventually

do an ad or two or something like that but these ones you gotta see so i guess like the fucking right wing media gets a hold this one guy sent me the entire thing he goes how it works is this much a day thing and you sell it you get got extra more. If people buy the thing, they can use your code, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And the thing is called it's called the whole it's called Patriot Supply. And it's it's like Patriot shirts, Patriot hats. I'm like, yeah, and that's not going to happen. Like if you see me on this podcast and I'm like, guys, the Patriot Supply. Anyways, for the boys.

OK, I hear from our guys, the Patriot supply anyways for the boys. Okay. Uh, here from our sponsor, uh, Patriot condoms, you know, American Eagle condoms and wristbands and shoes and make sure your Patriot supplements, you got to have your Patriot tinfoil. If you hear me going off rant about all the Patriot pills you get, you know that they dropped a bucket of cash at my house. The site, they say, listen, for every Patriot pill you get is going to be 100 Gs. If you guys hear me, and I give you permission, if you hear me hawking, and I'm not saying I'm above any scummy advertisements. I will sell dirt to you. I will sell addict pills.

I will sell anything. But there is a certain thing. There's a certain type of thing that I'm like, I can't in good conscience come on this podcast and be like, guys, you need your Patriot sunglasses. They are oil tint. They've got American flags over the oil tint on the glasses. This is a product. I mean, I wear them myself. You see me in the photos on my Instagram.

I'm hawking these American Eagle sunglasses. I got one American Eagle fucking earring in the Patriot stud. I just got the whole thing. I got a Patriot shell necklace. I got the entire collection. Shells for your gun. I got a Patriot gun rack for you guys. I be like, okay.

I think Ryan Long has officially sold out. Ain't going to happen. I'm not selling Patriot pills. There's all these crazy things when stuff like this happens too. So everyone messes you, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then people on all the comments and all over the last two weeks, everyone's been saying all these like weird things about me. Because this is the thing about conspiracy.

I'm actually going on InfoWars tomorrow, which is pretty fucking funny. This is the thing about conspiracy. I'm actually going on Infowars tomorrow, which is pretty fucking funny. So they when you see. OK, so when I hear when you see a lot of conspiracy theories and all this stuff, this is one of the things I was asking Roger Stone about. Well, you hear all these conspiracy theories, you're kind of what's going on. But there's a lot of stuff with this conspiracy theories where when you get famous enough, you know, you're, you get, you're kind of in the know now and half the people go, well, yeah, he's in the know now. That's why he won't tell us. And a lot of times he's like, no, I just know these guys and you're

lying. Like you've heard, you know, some people go, Oh, Joe Rogan sold out. And he goes, I know, I'm just telling you, I kind of know how it works in this specific thing. And it's not what happened. So I've never been like the hugest conspiracy guys. I still like them. And I like a conspiracy guy. I like a conspiracy guy in the crew. That's what I like. I want a guy that I defer to. Like someone's like, you're this flat. I'm like, yeah, what's up, Patrick? What are we talking? Flat earth. Is there something there? You know what I mean? Some of the thing that like, you know, Michelle Obama's got a dick. I go, hey, Patrick, Patrick, what do we, this dick thing, any proof of this? Give me the scoop.

What's the, what's the conspiracy scoop? You know what I mean? I want the, I want the, I want an inside man. I want an inside crazy guy. I want an inside conspiracy guy. I want an inside man on all the things. I want a sports guy. I go, hey, shh, I'm with a girl and she asked me about football. Please give me some stuff.

And also I learned, I learned football quick. I don't know if you guys know this about me. My friend ran a sports show. It was to be the top sportscaster. And I know hockey. I know, you know, I know sports, but I know sports in a way that like, I might've mentioned this on the last podcast, but I know them, but I don't really know the players. I don't pay attention, but I played these things my whole life. So I understand the game really well, but I don't know who the coaches are or this team or that team

or whatever and I didn't know nothing and then I went on this thing and it was to be the top sportscaster and it was in like in the movie Road Trip I taught myself

all of the teams all of the players all of the things in three days and then I came second on the show out of ten sports fanatics and out of 700 people

that were supposed to that were applying for it in the first place. And the only reason I got on it is because my friend, he was running the thing and it was on the score. And my friend was the, um, the, the guy running the show, which I probably shouldn't be saying this. So my friend was the guy running the show and he goes, we don't have any interesting people on it. So we've been doing, you know, we've been doing all these additions. We did 700 auditions. Like, Hey, would you be willing to come on? You just be like the crazy guy that does no sports or whatever. You'd be funny. And then, well, you know, you'll probably

be out like episode one or two and we'll have an interesting character for our like demo reel or for the show preview and stuff like that. And I'm like, say no more fam, like the barber at Kai, you know what I mean? Asking for the cut. I go, yes, you know, more fam. So, and then I go on and then I just kept winning. I go, I just learned it. I was calling my friend at night. I'll go, Hey, who's this coach? Who's that? What was, and I go, it's like politics. It's like, you can, and it's the same thing with sports. It's like that. You go, you can know, know nothing about it in like a week. You learn the whole thing. Same with politics. That's why all these people think they're political analysts. Cause you go, you don't need to know anything. And then within a week you go, okay, who are the

people running? What do we think of them? Okay. This guy's bad. This guy's good. Okay. Who's like the three governors I need to know? Who's maybe one other person like who's AOC, you know, the 12 people. And you're like, all right, got it. Now I can go to bars and have political discussions with people. Like I know anything. So back to the conspiracy thing, people were saying these crazy things about me. People go, uh, when I did the Roger Stone thing, there was like, I'm not even five or six people were going, this guy, Ryan's in on it. Now he, uh, when I did the Roger Stone thing, there was like, I'm not even five or six people were going, this guy, Ryan's in on it now. He's like, Ryan knows exactly what he's doing. You know, this guy's a, he's like helping the deep state with Roger Stone and Roger Stone's

a Mossad agent. And Ryan's in, I go, you think I'm a Mossad agent. So I'm now I'm like, when anyone says anyone's a Mossad agent, I go, well, now they called, they called me that. So I don't know what to believe, you know? So when, once you get called the thing, it's like that. And that's what happened with the racism and the me too. And a lot of this stuff is once it happens to you or your friends, it loses a fact because everyone goes, this guy's racist. And you go, well, they called me that. And I know I'm not. And they called my friend, you know, a sex predator or whatever it is. And he's like, not that at all. And I know what happened. And they said he was mean to his girlfriend. And I know this girl was the

craziest person in the world and came and crashed his house. I can think of a specific scenario where one of my boys, his chick, everyone goes, everyone goes with this chick. He goes, uh, she, I can't go, I don't want to go into too much details, but the gist of it is she told everyone he's the worst and this girl and she goes he was abusive this and that all this and i go i have seen her do the most insane things she used to do this she used to come outside he goes i don't care if she smokes i don't care if she smokes and then she started smoking she would come out and she was smoking around my girl and then she'd go like yeah like he doesn't like it when i smoke he gets gets mad at me and blah, blah. And he goes, and then he, she, she would do things like this, like try to get people.

He would like, she would like try to get people drugs or whatever. And then say like, no, don't tell him I hit me. And he goes, I was doing drugs. What the hell do I care? And then she would, so she tried to like spread this rumor around that he was crazy. And I'm like, I've known this guy my entire life. I know how he's with girls. He's not like this. And she's spreading all this stuff. And I go, and then, so when it came out, I go,

yeah, but I've watched you try to do this. I've watched you trying to manipulate the narrative. So when seeing people go, Oh, this guy's, you know, sexist. And you go, I know this guy. So when you go for me, you go, I'm a massage agent. I go next time you tell someone I'm a massage agent. I was like, no, no one's a Mossad agent. I don't even think Mossad agents are Mossad agents. And we're out. It's over. So the other thing, then there's just some better funny ones. Like people were on a big tirade about where I'm wearing makeup or not, which I thought

was pretty funny because one of the things that was funny is I go to guys like you're wearing makeup. You stop wearing makeup. I'm like, is this the male equivalent of like, are those tits real? Like I wear makeup. Why would I wear makeup? He goes, he goes, oh yeah. oh yeah okay buddy whatever makes you sleep at night or whatever the fuck and i'm like okay sure like and what am i gonna defend myself like no i don't wear makeup i did by the way but you go all right so fine like whatever you want to think but like i get to i get to know the truth because it's me so anyway there was like 10 of these

things and there's also a million people retweeting the video, a million blogs posting. It goes, you remember the Jordan Peterson interview where he does the interview with the girl and she goes, what? So what you're saying is that was basically what people, everyone's saying. So what this guy's saying is, and I go, nah, what I was saying. Oh, I see what Ryan's saying that the frigging left wing that I go now kind of really wasn't that, but that wasn't exactly the point. There was a lot of that. Um, but I, speaking of Jordan Peterson, one of the things that probably is one of my favorite ongoing jokes. So one of my buddies smashed Jordan Peterson's daughter, boys, boys, boys,

which rules. So, uh, JP got the fucking, my's d in the daughter she was she's all right too i don't know i don't know half uh she was putting it out there like crazy but my boy got a little taste and we were loving me and my boy paul were loving the idea of uh this is like right in the peak peterson no he didn't he didn't fuck him in peterson but like maybe two years before pretty sick i wish that was me to have that under my belt but we were saying that like anytime someone's talking about they're like this is when the you know the trans stuff was the they were trying to change the pronoun language at the school to make it illegal to misgender people or whatever and we were saying that like anytime people are talking about that we will oh my buddy's uh dad was my

buddy's uh girl's dad was actually saying something about that he had an interesting point and they're like who's your buddy girl's dad oh Jordan saying something about that. He had an interesting point, and they're like, who's your buddy girl's dad? Oh, Jordan Peterson. Just any time Jordan Peterson comes out in conversation, refer to him as your buddy's girl's dad. Yeah, my good buddy of mine, his girl's dad was actually saying something recently on that topic on Joe Rogan Experience. Your buddy's girl's dad was on Joe Rogan Experience? Oh, yeah, Jordan Peterson. You might have heard of him. Pretty fun.

We're having a good time with that. was on Joe Rogan's peers oh yeah Jordan Pearson you might have heard of him pretty fun we're having a good time with that by the way I had this freaking you know the tweet storms everyone tweeting at me and I'm trying to deal with stuff I have all these people that are like arguing and tweeting all day long I go how does anyone get anything done like I try to be you know I try really hard to be kind of a productivity guy and that's why I love like these guys like Altucher and you know I Tim Ferriss I thought he was very cool with why I love like these guys like Altucher and, you know, I, Tim Ferriss, I thought he was very cool with that stuff. And,

you know, guys like Andrew Schultz. And when you watch their, which also he was like, he's telling me is like the video. He's kind of like, uh, I love the way he talks about everything too.

I just feel like he's got a good, uh, I just love the way he like analyzes everything. Even just like, I was like, he's, you know, a lot of people were telling me like,

how do you make money? I'm like, you can make money off this stuff. I thought the only way to make money was to send Patriot pills. He's like, hey, dude, I got some tips on how to monetize this or whatever. And I'm sitting there with a lifetime supply full of Patriot pills being like, uh-oh. There's another way. But he's going, he's like, you know, I was saying, like, yeah, it's more about being part of the cultural conversation than making money. And we'll figure that out after or whatever. And he was like you know i was like yeah it's more about being part of the

cultural conversation than making money you'll figure that out after whatever and he was like well you already did it that's the conversation step one step two like he just talks like very he's got to figure it out which he does so these people that tweet all day you know you don't see any of these people doing that i go how does anyone get anything done i'm trying to do podcasts i'm trying to make videos even just like doing clips for the things. And then you're doing all, I'm doing all these appearances. And if you want to have, you know, have any semblance of a life, it's like, I don't understand how anyone could be tweeting all day.

The only thing is, I guess if you don't really do anything that requires big chunks of writing, like if you're just doing an Alex Jones off the cuff, like a two hour yell session, you have that like stream of consciousness and that's kind of all you do. I guess maybe you never need to focus, but when I'm like writing for real or doing anything good, you kind of need to focus. There's that maker manager thing too, which is important. You know, certain than managers and makers, people who make stuff and people that manage stuff never can understand each other because people that make stuff, people that make stuff need like half hour blocks or like, you know, hour long blocks or two hour long blocks to make their things. But people that manage things every time it's like, you know, making quick decisions here, dealing with this, dealing with there, you know, I'm running an errand

here, running an errand here. So you can kind of like, you can take a quick phone call, you can do this. But when you're making something and someone goes, Hey, can we do a phone call Thursday? And you know, a lot of times they're more important than you. And you're like, Oh, Thursday's actually bad. And they're like, well, what's the problem? And you're like, I just goes hey can we do a phone call thursday and you know a lot of times they're more important than you and you're like oh thursday's actually bad and they're like what's the problem and you're like i just write that day and they're like you can't take a break and you're like well you don't understand like it's it's like kind of sometimes like a coffee meeting can like wreck my whole day so it's very hard you have to kind of like set these rules for yourself that end up hurting you like don't take certain things don't take certain meetings and ends up pissing people off but if you actually want to be good at that side of it,

but so then if you're like, you ever want, you're kind of managing people, you get a better, you know, you get to do both. So, so, so getting back to the part where the people that were trashing me or whatever, the thing that like bummed me out almost is that they were all like comedians and entertainers. And I go, I have, like I've said,

I've, I've made so many people's shows. I've worked on, I've written on people's shows. I've pitched shows. They were like, not my perspective. I said, I have a very specific perspective and everything that I make for myself was going to be my thing. But I'm, but I, you know,

like I like to think of myself in the same, and I don't mean this in like a cocky way. I mean this in like a, I would, I would like to, you know, think of them as what I'd like a cocky way. I mean this in like a, uh, I would, I would like to, you know, think of them as what I'd like to aspire to be like a, what Neil Brennan does, where he kind of makes, you know, he makes lots of people's shows and, and Louis CK was kind of doing that. And I'd like to the same way I did at the hard times at CBC, I was making stuff for other people. I do want to do that as well, but I, you know, right now I'm focusing on my own thing,

but so the, um, I've done that over the years. Like one of my friends, uh, Corinne, I'm fucking, So the, um, I've done that over the years. Like one of my friends, uh, Corinne, I'm fucking, I'm working on her show. Right. And, and she's, uh, we're, I'm, I'm literally as my stuff, I'm doing boys cat. I'm freaking making my stuff, which I think is pretty aggressive. And I'm writing sketches for her thing that are like, this one meant her garbage. I honestly was chuckling to myself because I'm, you know, that's her perspective. And I, like, you're allowed to have a perspective.

So she, you know, she's coming at it from like a fucking sassy chick and she's fucking funny as hell. And so she has her perspective. And I think you got one of the reasons people are good at comedy and especially, uh, good at reading people and good in business. If you can get inside someone else's head, like if you're working with someone and they have like, you know, whether it's tech, whether they, you need to understand how they tick. So you can understand those people. Like, I don't understand how these people that don't have empathy for anyone, how they could ever write dialogue because all your characters would be characters. Like I kind of could understand where you're coming from enough to, I think, make your show from honestly and

give you an honest thing from your perspective. You like what they say a steel man versus straw man and i think i could and i think that all of the good best people can do that so if this is a friend of mine i don't care for i mean i want to do it for my enemies but if it's a friend of mine and that's their perspective i think i i find it like a good challenge to see if i can like get in their head and like kind of write how they would think and but i was it was making me chuckle. I'm writing sketches like. Which is kind of a little bit. In CBC.

I made all these sketches like bartenders and shit. Which kind of were making fun of dudes. But I was. You know. It's kind of a more aggressive version of that. Like from a girl perspective. Like dude you're fucking shit. I was honestly chuckling to myself.

I was like this is so funny. If this. If like one of these sketches like pops off. And they're like who wrote this. And they're like honestly. I don't think you want to myself. I was like, this is so funny. If this, if like one of these sketches like pops off and they're like, who wrote this? And they're like, honestly, I don't think you want to know. They have to share that. Like someone shared that sketch and I'm like, Oh, I'm glad you like my sketch. And they're like, what? So we were having a fucking, uh, um, we were having a, uh, the meter had the funniest joke too. So my buddy Lev, he was,

and there's two reasons I want to bring this story up. The first part of it is, and I do have an article I'm going to get to today too. But we have, so the first part of it is we were with him and his chick or whatever, right? And then, and a bunch of people. And he tried, he was like, he was kind of talking shit all night, right?

Solid dude, love for, funny podcaster. He was, he was with his chick and he tried he was like he was kind of talking shit all night right solid dude love for a funny podcaster he was he was with his chick and he goes uh his chick's uh friend was leaving and he goes yeah yeah let me uh let me grab that he goes oh how far are you going let me grab you an uber and then he goes i'll you know like big man moves big man moves making it rain your girl's friends go home you go no no no not not my girl not my girl's friends go home. You go, no, no, no. Not my girl. Not my girl's friends. No one goes home on my watch. I'm getting you a limo. So he goes, I'm going to get her an Uber. I watch him pull out his phone.

Looks at the Uber. 70 bones. He goes, I watch him slowly take his phone, put it back into his pocket. And I watch that whole thing. I go, no, no, no, no, no. This guy's talking shit all night. And then me and Corinne go, yo. I was like, yo, let's pay for that Uber. And then we go, hey, love, I know that you said

that you were going to and you're not anymore. But you know what? Me and Corinne are going to grab that Uber for you. What is it? 70 bucks? What's your address? You're going to. He goes, this is not OK. We just financially dunked on him. You go, I'm going to send my girl home in a cab. You look at the price, too much. And then we just fucking financially cucked him with a big black dick of $70. It was very funny, having a good time.

But one of the things we were talking about, and that's why I kind of wanted to bring this scenario up, is when we were talking about, he was sort of, we were having the conversation about, he was kind of trying to pitch his chick, like the idea that we should have, you should be able to potentially have a relationship with a chick where like you can fuck on the road or whatever, like a little bit. And then she doesn't fuck other people or whatever. And he's like, what do you guys think? And I'm like, I mean, I think I wouldn't have brought

that up here. I think you can get any deal you want, but this ain't the way to do it. That's what I'm talking about. I think this wasn't the move. And then they were kind of going in the idea of like, Oh, listen, um, the, the, the, the, you know, maybe I wouldn't, a lot of girls say some version of like this, like maybe I could deal with if you like slept with another girl every now and then or something like that, but I don you know our threesomes but i don't think i want to deal with you another girl knowing your fears and stuff like that and i'm like yeah well guess what my fears would be getting caught so she's gonna know the fears the only fears i'm gonna have is getting busted so yeah she's gonna have to know that fear she's i don't know what my other fears

she comes up like you did not tell her that you're afraid of spiders did you what my fear is i don't have fears all right so but the point the third point i told you there was two points there's a third point so when we're talking about the girl guy thing and it's like we we're getting into this idea of like what's the difference you know well why can a girl do it and a guy can't i. And I'm one of the things I was saying is like, I mean, again, you can get any deal you want, but they're one of the reasons for it obviously is when guys in society, if you say a guy and you're like, oh, his girl fucks all these other dudes, it makes them look like a bitch. Whereas the girl, if she, if she knows about it, everyone's kind of like, oh, she's probably getting stuff for that. Probably. She's probably getting every stroke with a new fucking Gucci purse.

So you kind of know that. Whatever. But it's not embarrassing for the chick the same way. And then they were all arguing that it's not. They're like, no, it's the exact same. And I go, okay, I'll tell you. And this is why we had the perfect thing to summarize that thing that I've been talking to forever, why it's different. Because why are different girls and guys? This is why we had the perfect but the perfect thing to summarize that thing that i've been talking to forever why it's different because go why different girls and guys

this is why it's different did you guys see everyone saw will smith what happened to him he basically his you know they had an open thing or some version of that girl was fucking some 20 year old getting the d will's over you know will's instagramming he's doing inspirational youtube youtube instagram videos they're like hey will smith i think we're gonna make another men Will's over, you know, Will's Instagramming. He's doing inspirational YouTube, YouTube, Instagram videos. They're like, Hey, Will Smith, I think we're going to make another men in black. He's like, honestly, I'm busy. Yo, what's up YouTube? Honestly, you just need to be your best.

I don't care. You just need to give it 110%. The world's your oyster. You need to fuck it. You know what I mean? He's doing that stuff. And they're like, big Will, this is $20,000, $20 million. He goes $20 million.

I am on Instagram telling people to live their best life. Big Willie styles, love Will Smith, top five action stars. He, so he, you know, I guess she knew, but it probably wasn't the end of the world. I think there was some version of that, but then first of all, the, and then, and then when he, when they get caught, she, they find out the girl was, you know, having sex with this dude. And she goes, I was in entanglement with that guy, which is, I know other people have said this, but very funny. I was in a bit of an entanglement. Oh, I was just in a bit of entanglement with her. Yeah, I got in a little bit of an entanglement with cocaine last night.

I was in a little bit of an, someone on Chris Hansen just saying they got in a little bit of untanglement in a child born ring. Just a little entangled in that bad boy. So they go, he became the laughingstock of the internet. And you go to girls, you go, okay, so look, Will Smith, she got caught, you know, that she was doing stuff with people. And the next day, Will Smith, every single meme is like this bitch. He's every, every time he's ever cried, they're putting that in a meme being like, yo, you're a bitch. Dude, everyone I went to high school with is posting like, yo, honestly, that's a bitch move still though, Will.

I would never get cucked like that. You would never see my girl. You would never see my girl fucking August. Ames or whatever the guy's name was. Nah. She gets this dick. A-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga. No thanks.

So he looks like the biggest bitch in the world. He was cheating. No one says she's a bitch. Nothing. Nothing. And I know a lot of people like to make the point that, oh, what if it was the other way around age-wise? Good point.

But there's a million of those examples. This is the... And if I grazed through that too much, the idea was, what if Will was fucking one of Willow's friends because I guess that guy was Jaden's friend. Everyone would be like, guy, girl, good point.

But a million people have made that and there's also a trillion other examples of that. But this one shows that they both were doing it and it's like, she's fine and he is the bitch

of the fucking internet for an entire week. Like, even still, people can't look at him the same. Even his wife's probably like, yo, you're a bitch, dude. You probably can't get it up. He's probably small Willie styles,

soft Willie styles. Honestly, he's probably having sex with her.'re a bitch, dude. You probably can't get it up. He's probably small Willie Styles, soft Willie Styles. Honestly, he's probably having sex with her. You know, he used to be bringing it out, big Willie Styles. Go flomp. Yeah, I'm rapping. I'm a rappity rap rap. The most positive rap if you ever listened to Will Smith's rap career. That was him before.

And now he's going to be like, do you want to have sex? Oh, sorry, my soft Willie Styles. Soft serve Willie. That's what they're going to be calling him. So that is the reason ladies, you go, that's the reason that if you're having sex with lots of people and fucking, they find out why it looks more like a guy look like more like a bitch, because that's the society honey buns and it's guys and girls. Even girls were like, yeah, don't want a dork. Will Smith is a queer. That's what chicks are saying about him. And so I'm going to move on to this article that I want to prove how things are getting so out of control.

But the best thing is all these people that were saying I'm the worst, I'm the problem. I watched so many of you make this, you know, the Black Lives Matter thing your entire identity. And then it kind of drift away. And it's like now instead of doing anything, you're just getting mad at me for not having the right opinion. You know what I mean? And you don't see how that is a little bit problematic. I even watched, outside of New York, there was a protest every single day. Like, every day, there was a protest for like a week.

And then it was kind of, the trans stuff took over. Then there was the big trans march. Now, every two weeks, a protest goes by my door with, not kidding you, I don't know, 60 people, and they just, they're coming by, they're barely chanting, they're like, yeah, yeah, Breonna Taylor. Like, there's like three of them at Bristol boards, they're all chattered because they didn't want to make new ones. People don't care anymore. Instead of yelling, they're just like, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, Black Lives Matter. It's, they're, even the protests don't even care anymore. I go, I look out the window and I go, oh, they're still doing that, huh?

It's like the thing came and gone like any other movement so quick and on to the next. So, you know, you're not going to change my brain chemistry and change what I care about to hop on the bandwagon every two seconds because I ain't that fella, fellas. There was, you know what the best way to describe it is? I think, because I've been talking a lot about how, you know, the best way to describe it is? I think, cause I've been talking a lot about how, you know, I don't think that a lot of these people help people. And you know, and one of the main reasons you think all these people, they go, this guy's the problem. It's like, you know, we need, we need, uh, all these people jobs, like give me your job. And I thought of a good way to describe it. A lot of these activists that probably don't

actually help people's life. I thought of it. If you were a company, this is what you would be. You'd be a company. Like if you came up with this brilliant idea and you were at the, you know, this big Silicon Valley company, you would be a company that every single person knew about that had so much publicity and you haven't released one product. That's what it would be. You know, you're this movement that has everyone talking, every everyone's do everyone's has to be involved. Every celebrity's covering it. And you go, what exactly is, who exactly is this helping? What have they done? You know? And you go, I don't know. They're yelling at people. They're canceling people. They got this guy fired from some job, things like that. They now they're, now they're not

friends with their parents anymore. I don't know. know there's a lot of couples that broke up because their political beliefs that's what they got done so you go it'd be like a guys you know we're a shoe company everyone knows you know the new Nike we're called uh Mikey how about that that's the best that I could come up with on the spot everyone's rocking around and their new kicks you know and everyone every bus stations got it every celebrities celebrity's coming out, rocking the new M I K E's. And then, and then eventually you go, where do you buy those? You go, honestly, we don't know how to manufacture them. I gotta be quite honest with you. I don't

know how to make them. I don't know how to sell them. I don't know how to distribution network works. All I know is how to publicize this movement. We have a lot of donations. We don't know what to do with it. So that's what it feels like to me. You'd be a company that was really good at publicizing yourself and no one quite knew what you did or what you sold. Okay. So this is, and when I tell you that they're running out of ideas here, they're running out of ideas. Vice recently released this article and one of the dogs sent it to me. So I do appreciate everyone sending me articles to the boys cast at Ryan long at gmail.com and they go brain science is ignoring left-handed people. This has been, you know, when people say to Tanya McGrath and all these people and they go in my videos, like I make these, you make these jokes. And then, you know, two,

two days later, someone does it for real. And you you go i was saying that like kidding and you're like yeah we i know but we actually think that now and you're jesus christ so forever people have been like oh i guess we need to like make sure that left-handed people get enough and and you know what i mean like we we make sure that uh ned ned flanders is getting his from the left emporium and they go, ha ha ha, you know, ha ha ha. And then now they're like, yeah, no, but for real though, we actually do need to, we need to be equitable to left-handed people. And the gist of it is that in the studies they're doing, they're not paying enough attention to left-handed people. Oh, heaven forbid you don't get to participate in a study. Brain science is ignoring left-handed people after continually being rejected for the brain research studies continually being rejected you show up

what did we tell you uh we it's a no please i need it i need this i need this so bad like dude it pays 30 like do you need it that bad to come do our study where we like ask you know you come and you play around on the abacus or whatever, whatever the fuck you go. You pour some beacons. I don't know what scientists do. I assume they pour potions from one one beacon to the other beacon. And then there's a puff of smoke. And then they go, OK, thank you.

Science is done for the day. And then you and then you, you know, they give you put your they take your blood and a few other things, then send you home and you get $30 and a cookie. You need it that bad? You go, I need this. I always thought that with the blood thing. Because I get maybe it was a legitimate concern or whatever because they were kind of like gay people couldn't deliver blood for a while because there was like a higher chance of HIV. And I go, maybe it's wrong, but like, what do you, who cares? Like, if someone's like, you can't deliver blood, I go, good.

I get to pretend that I wanted to give blood away, but I don't actually have to. I get to be a hero and I do nothing. They go, if they came in, they were like, Hey, super cool gay. Uh, sorry, Ryan, we have a new rule that says super cool guys that are for the boys. Super cool guys for the boys can't deliver blood. And I go, okay, but can you give me my validation of my parking so that I can go to people? And they go, did you deliver blood and i go okay but can you give me my validation of my parking so that i can go to people and they go did you deliver blood they go i was trying to i was i was showing up willing to give bathtubs i was gonna walk away like a skeleton that's how

much blood i was gonna give i wasn't even having left for a boner i was gonna be like soft willy styles after but no they told me i can't so a hero lies in me. This is what they say. Left-handed people are often amazed to find Lynn Bailey, a doctoral student in psychology and neuroscience, who readily accepts them. Oh my God, he's breaking the picket lines. I'm not your grandmother's neuroscience. I take left-handed people who readily accepts them. Most other neuroscientists only accept right-handed participants. What a claim to fame, eh? Imagine running on diversity and you're like, what's your thing? Everyone's picking their thing. They're like, I am, Justin Trudeau, the Canadian prime minister said, I'm going to make

my cabinet 50% women. That's what I'm going to make my cabinet 50 percent women. That's what I'm going to do. And then the next guy says, you know, I'm going to make sure that my workplace only hires people in wheelchairs, you know, all this sort of stuff. And then this guy says, guess what? 30 percent of my study will be left handed people. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I know. Listen, I'm doing my part. You know, you know, we're not all. Listen, I'm just a normal guy like me and you. I put on my pants one day at a time. But when I do put on my pants, I'm creating equity for the left handed community. You're welcome. They really ran out of diversity. This is what they've got left. They've fractioned it down so much that they have to go for left-handed people. A lot of left-handed people are incredibly frustrated at how few studies they can participate

in. No, they're not. I know a lot of left-handed people actually, because there's a lot of left-handed artists. I probably know some relatives. My best friend growing up is left-handed. Never heard him mention it actually. Couldn't be completely honest with you. Listen, I got a level with you. Hasn't come up. Dr. Bailey was finding that. They go, all these left-handed people are just at their house. Bailey.

Looking at his, you know, they walk by the study. They see Bailey leaving his car. Like fucking this happy Gilmer. Damn, I can never remember his name. The guy who does it. The you can do it guy. It drives me crazy. Schneider, I think.

I think it was Schneider or whatever. But he's looking through the gun in the scope and he goes, yeah, you fucking Bailey. Yeah, you think you can just discriminate against left-handed community? The LHs? You're going to get a left-handed bullet, but you can't get a left-handed gun. So he's just

oh god, I've missed him again. You know, Bailey just writing his name over and over on a piece of paper. What did he do to you? He won't let me participate in his study. What's the study? They want to chop your dick off at the study. Why don't you want to participate? I like studies, I guess. Yeah. Never heard anyone mentioned that. No, they aren't. Shouting out left-handers out left-handers is an attempt to reduce variations in brain data. Shutting out left-handers is an attempt to reduce variations in brain data. In studies that use neuroimaging, like brain scans that capture where the brain is activating, scientists often want subjects that can be compared to one another. That way, they can

calculate group averages and come to conclusions about the way that brains function more better overall. It's like, so the reason this screws up the study, like the reason is it's like they go, hey, we want people that are the same height. So we get like we let's just pick five, 10, because then we'll have more people to work with. We like we actually need people with because right hand and-handed, your brain kind of works a little different. So let's just do it on right-handed people because then we won't have these, because they need to be the same one as opposed to left-handed

because it'd be harder to find studies and it'll mess up the study ever. Like, you're telling, you're telling the, so you're telling these scientists how to make their job and they're basically telling you, they're like, we don't do that because it makes it hard for us to test stuff. They go, well, who cares? Oh, you think it's okay to just leave out an entire community of the

population because otherwise your study won't work? Well, what's the point of doing the study if they can't use it for anything, compadre? Like who has a hot take on this? It's like one of those things where you go, you read the, like the amount of things you must be skewering through to find this. How do you even come up with that? To have a hot take on left-handed neuroscientist studies. The amount that you've niched this down, you go, what's our problem with?

Okay, our problem, you know, like our problem with people who have four toes that are also hang gliders, they are being prejudiced against. And you go, why? And you go, well, can they make hang gliders? There's their weights not even because this guy has one less toe. So we have a problem with that. Like, then the guy goes, well, if we, if we don't make it even, it's not going to work. I don't care. They can die. Diversity or die. Even if it's left-handed diversity.

Along with this is broader efforts to diversify the subjects scientists include in their studies. Now, why would that matter, Vice? Why would we need different people if we're all the same? Vice, let me ask you a question. If we're doing brain studies, why do we need one for guys and one for girls? Maybe that's a question you could tell me the answer to. Why do Vice, if we're doing studies on people's thinking and their logical capacity, and we're doing some thinking on their strength maybe, maybe we're doing some studies on their hearts,

why would it matter what race they are, Vice? You getting into some eugenics on us, Vice Magazine? Because as far as I'm concerned, we're the same, Vice. And you're going to tell me that we need diversity in these studies? Hmm. Hmm. Interesting. Interesting, Vickay. Vice Kay. Interesting. Interesting, Vickay. Vicekay. Well, make up your mind. Are we all the same or are we different? Because if we're all the same, then we kind of don't need diversity in the studies, do we? We can actually have 12 of the exact same person and the results would be equally the same. Or is it possible that you're telling me that we're not the same? Which is it vice? Men and women have the same brains. Oh, good. Well,

then there's no benefit of having women in the studies. Is there vice? Well, we want a women's brain. Oh yeah. Well, we wanted another brain. We wanted to get a women's brain. I, by the way, I I'm, I'm really leaning towards, I think as a movement, we should get to the point. Uh, and as a, as a boys movement is what I mean by that. We need to get to the point where we do have everyone agree that men's and women's brains are the same. Like we needed to take that off that like men and women are the exact same. Cause I know they've been pushing that. There isn't like a lot of people are thing. And I think we should be pushing that because then they're going to be like, you know what I mean? I'll be on like, you know, even in Hollywood, they go, we're not allowing

to have any writers rooms that are all men. And you go, so what will happen was we'll have our thing and they'll go, uh, Hey, you need to have women in the thing because they have a different brain. You go, I, you know, I used to think that. But then I found out our brains were different. And I wanted to have two girls and two guys. But I found out the girls' brains are the exact same. So I'm just going to have two more guys. It doesn't seem to make a difference.

You go, honestly, I wanted a woman's perspective. And I wanted a woman's brain. But it turns out there is one. It turns out their brains are the same. So it's going to pop another dude in the spot. All right, boys and chicks, two guys, two girls. Well, brain-wise, I mean, since they're interchangeable, I think we're better off pushing that movement.

But Vice is perfectly happy pushing both. That's what they're happy doing, pushing both at the exact same time. You remember Rizal? Rizal, the beat pushing both at the exact same time. You remember Rizal? Rizal, the beat and the chorus at the same time. If you're, you know, there was always one guy at every school that was really good at doing the beatbox and the singing at the time. And everyone's like, he's like, hey, do you want me to beatbox? Hey, the party starts to get done. He's like, hey, you want me to beatbox and rap at the same time?

And you're like, yeah, you know, we're good. But that's vice when they do the beat in the chorus at the same time they go we're the same and we're different at the same time we're not and we are at the same time they're just always meddling that's the best way to describe these people they're just meddling they're like maybe we'll bother maybe we'll go bother scientists that are doing studies hey uh get more left-handed, maybe we'll go bother scientists that are doing studies. Hey, get more left-handed people. Maybe we'll show up to a bakery and, man, what's going on here?

We're just baking, yeah? Well, okay, what's this? What are you baking here? Oh, let me see your dishwashers. What color are they? What color are your employees? Yeah, that's not good. They're just bugging people.

Just sort of like, you're just walking around meddling in people's business meddling in people's meddling in people's jobs hey what are you guys writing you can't write about that that's mean that's not right that's not the right opinion yeah how many writers do you have what are the guys or girls who's the director did the guy or girl makes you have a girl they're just meddling in people's business i want to show up at vice i need to you know what i should do is show up at vice and just be the exact same thing. I think you should have a painting over there. Why do you have your computers there?

You should move the computers there. Why do you have three girls in a row? You shouldn't have three girls in a row. Move them. I think you should move desks around. Why are these black? Why do you have black floors? You should have brown floors.

I don't like it. I don't like it. Why do you have a lunchroom so far? What if it's someone's handicap? They have to walk over to the lunchroom. I don't like it. Just meddling. Just professional fucking meddlers. What time do you guys publish atroom so far? What if it's someone's handicap? They have to walk over to the lunchroom. I don't like it. Just meddling. Just professional fucking meddlers.

What time do you guys publish at? Two o'clock. You should publish at three. It's a better time to publish. We do it at two. We do it at three. Like, what the hell do you know about how to do a neuroscience study? You're a blogger of vice.

I know they probably found some fake scientist to back up their claims or whatever. Professional meddlers. Yeah. Is that your girlfriend? Why are you holding your hand that hand? You should hold it with the other hand.

Anyways, I want to apologize on behalf of all men to the left-handed community that you have to deal with the horrors of not being able to participate

in the research study where they poke and prod you. We owe you a beer from the boys. Now, again, I do want to say before I go the thank you to everyone who shared the vids because that was, it was a cool, it was a cool 24 hours. It was a hectic 24 hours. I got a gazillion press requests. So I'm trying to

sift through to, so I can, I'm, that was the main thing that I would try to do when all this stuff happened. And I think, you know, I'm 34 and I've had these sort of things happen before. I've been through stuff like this before in my life. So I'm a little more leveled. I go, this is what I always say. And I don't know, people, I go, anytime things good happen, don't frigging let them affect you.

And anytime things bad happen, don't let them affect you. So I really try to believe that. I go, you know, don't, I was like, maybe it sounds a little crazy, but I'm like, don't be happy about this. Like I use this, I always say that with stand up. I go, whenever you're, whenever you do stand up and you kill, never be happy that you killed and never be happy that you bombed.

The only thing I should be happy about is if I did, if I, if my joke, my new jokes working, because I go, I should be there working on jokes and making my jokes better and getting my take. So I should be, I should be able to enjoy the fact that like something that I write is working or, you know, I like found like able to enjoy the fact that something that I write is working or I found a technique or something like that, but I shouldn't be happy with the fact that I killed because that will make me lean towards

doing crappier things to kill because that can't be the goal. So I always try to say, don't be happy about the highs, don't be mad about the lows. So I try to have that through this whole thing, be like, I know that everyone's kind of congratulatingulating and be like, don't, don't accept it. Just be like, yeah, whatever.

Yeah. I don't know. Whatever. That's how I sort of felt about the whole thing. So I go the whole time when, when, um, when like my phone was blown up or whatever with the video, all I was thinking was, um, I just kept thinking, okay, think about your frigging, think about this. You're going to, you have these five podcasts to do, say, think, do what you're going to

do. Finish fucking writing on that show and worry about what your next video is. I had two ideas for that. You know, make sure your next video is going to, you have these five podcasts to do, say, think, do what you're going to do. Finish fucking writing on that show and worry about what your next video is. I had two ideas for that. You know, make sure your next video is going to get one. I think I'm going to do a medium good one this week. And then I'm gonna try to do like a real banger the next, next week. We're actually like drop some cash and get like four actors and do like a real thing. And I go, okay, focus on that.

Sit down, right? Turn your fucking phone off. Don't worry about it. Like, shut up. Don't start thinking you're cool. Stuff like that. So that's, someone once said that like there's a um one of the things that crazy people do is talk to themselves in their head and i probably definitely do however i would say that maybe that's one of

the reasons i think i'm right good able to good right right dialogue because i think you know and everyone does that with their chick right you? You have the arguments in the shower with yourself, right? Right, guys? We all do that. She's like, mine are just like this. Like, yo, your dong's so sick. The boys are so sick. And I go, yeah, we are freaking sick.

That's how my picture is going to go. That's how my picture is going to go. And she's going, you're dick sick? And the freaking boys' dongs are all sick, too. That's why I like you. Because the freaking boys' dongs are all sick. And I go, listen, the boys got sick dongs. Everyone, thank you for supporting the Patreon. We got a dongs are all sick. And I go, listen, the boys got sick dongs. Everyone,

thank you for supporting the Patreon. We got a ton of stuff up there. I still got extra content. Patreon.com slash TheBoysCast. YouTube.com slash RyanLongComedy. And most importantly, something I, uh, a lot of people, advice that people did give me that I think that I've had a few people, but all the people were saying

of all the advice people did give me, I think I should say this. If people but all the people were saying of all the vice people did give me I think I should say this. If you do on the YouTube make sure you subscribe and make sure you hit the notifications thing because I do do it every Monday and every Friday

at the exact same time. So I think it is important for people to hit the notifications. I've been told. I've been told that that's good. You can look forward to this my video next Monday, and I will see you next week.

Thank you to the boys.