The Boyscast with Ryan Long - HOW TO SPOT A MISOGYNIST W/ COLUM TYRRELL (THE BOYSCAST)

Episode Date: December 10, 2021

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And you can tell our friends, and they can have my things when we're dead But we don't end forever, but we don't end forever Legends Local international legend International fucking legend dude International superstar Call him Do you consider yourself A high value Or a low value male That's a good question Is call him high value

Or a low value male Are you a high value Or a low value male Without a doubt High value High value male Yeah I don't know what that is

But I'm just going I feel the same We found this Dating subreddit No there's a new one too There's a witch subreddit Where girls post about witches yeah they go

they're all witches and 90% of them post is like this fucking dude's a piece of shit like does anyone have any good spells to like mess his life up

oh my god the spells the spells yeah yeah that's legitimately a subreddit of chicks that's what I've been saying a lot on stage

is it it's always like say these things and then fuck his brother yeah yeah yeah it's the magic behind it how do i fuck yeah here's a spell text his brother at 3 a.m hey you up yeah and then go over my eyes of newt and then uh accuse him of sexual assault yeah he sees it yeah yeah that's the big spell for that is it the me too they're all behind it they're all around a cauldron it's like they put

in like a fucking like just a piece of like uh like Harvey Weinstein's hair just like in a cauldron and then they just spread vicious rumors

yeah yeah the third ingredient is you need to tell everyone you touched you're inappropriate a dash of Alyssa Milano just a little yeah absolutely

they uh no this girl this is the first one it's like a girl that she wrote in and this is her like big problem is um how do i find therapists that are safe to talk to about feminism and sexism so the bit is that basically she's gone to nine different therapists and every single therapist is like yeah i mean you're obviously the problem and she goes how why can i find a therapist the therapist is like have you ever considered working on yourself? And she's like, you're fired.

Well, I like these because I always love when one of the real world becomes a sketch because I did this sketch with Corrine that was basically the therapist that just tells the world to change. And that's what this person is. It's a girl. Every New York girl is like,

you go to nine therapists and you go, I don't know if therapists are just all fucking morons because you go there and you go yeah well I can't go to work because of sexism and feminism

and that's why I can't get a job and that's why I can't get a boyfriend is because everyone's fucking sexist misogynist and then the therapist goes well maybe you should

you could try to you know there's things you could do on yourself too and you go whose side are you on I mean there's basically like you know the fucking people who are

like addicted to pain medication and they just go around from doctor to doctor just trying to find the one doctor that'll be like, yeah, I think it's believable that your neck hurts. Let's get you some Oxycontin. And the waiting room is just full of crazy women. Yeah, it's all just like every person in the waiting room

just scratching their neck. Yeah, just a bunch of crusty women. Well, that's what they want to do is they want to go back to like their boyfriend and be like, see, I fucking told you. Even my therapist agreed with me. Even if I had to find 95 to get to the fucking bottom of it. Yeah.

And she goes, I am considered a horrible person for being extremely stressed and angry about sexism that I cannot avoid or escape in any capacity. Yeah. It sounds like she just needs a friend. Like, cause like that's what friends will do is like, you'll go to your friend and she'll just agree with everything. Ideally they don't. Gas you up or whatever. Well, that's what I've been is like you'll go to your friend and she'll just agree with everything ideally they don't gas you up or whatever

that's what I've been sort of saying recently where you go someone a girl will be like yeah I was telling this to my therapist and you go okay

then why am I hearing about it for free kind of feels like this is already something that got figured out yeah

she goes I want to talk to a therapist but I don't want to say I don't want her to say these issues don't exist or are nothing to

worry about or even worse that i have to control that i have quote unquote control over the sexism affecting how i feel wow sort of the equivalent of going like a kid going there and there's like i went to nine different uh fucking psychologists and not a single one that will just admit my imaginary friends there he's fucking he's in the fucking room and every single one of these therapists is gaslighting me to think that fucking Brian's

not in the fucking, kicking around with us. They let anyone be a therapist these days, I guess. Oh, now he's taking shots at Danny's girlfriend. It's true. She did a fucking

weekend course. Yeah, but, well, the problem is the therapists aren't the issue though because the therapist is the one telling her. It's like, yeah, I mean, there's probably stuff you could do and then she's like, these fucking therapists. I want to hear her examples. The therapist is the therapists aren't the issue, though, because the therapist is the one telling her. It's like, yeah, I mean, there's probably stuff you could do.

And then she's like, these fucking therapists. I want to hear her examples. The therapist is actually reasonable. Well, her examples, they don't get to any of the examples. If you hear the examples. She's like, my boss is a piece of shit. I showed up an hour late the other day and he was like, can I talk to you? And I was like, no, you misogynistic fuck.

That's a lot of the threads in these things are like, my boss is a piece of shit. And then if you read all the examples, every single one of them is like he microaggressed we were talking there's a i don't even we covered it but she goes this girl was her whole bit was that i like to bring sexism and racism to my uh to my fucking boss so she goes every week she goes to her boss and she's like, listen, there's four or five things. And he talked to you about it. Like Toby fucking said something sexist in the elevator.

And then, uh, some of the copy in our, our, our like weekly seminar has been racist. And the boss was like, okay, just we'll deal with it.

But apparently the boss told her to calm down. Oh, sweetheart. Oh yeah. Amped up chicks do not like hearing calm down how funny is that she got told to be

calmed down in her weekly seminar alright he goes alright calm down yeah I'm telling her what's right I love that this chick

though that she goes the only outlet I see is going out and trying to live off the land alone cause she's like she hates like sexism you go yeah

good luck with that just you're gonna go fucking work the land what like a pilgrim she goes until I fail and die so she's like she knows Yeah, good luck with that. Just, you're going to go fucking work the land? What? Like a pilgrim? She goes, until I fail and die. So she's like, she knows that it's not even going to work.

She's going to get out there and she goes, ah. This farming stuff is pretty tough, huh? Yeah, she's screaming. She goes, wait, so your food doesn't just grow instantly? This is like a whole, I have to wait a year? I have to go back to the therapist and be like, listen. Poisonous berries are so misogynistic. Well, you'll never guess what happened. There's misogyny in be like, listen. Poisonous berries are so misogynistic. Well, you'll never guess

what happened. There's misogyny in the forest too. Yeah, the deer ran away from me. What a sexist piece of shit. Yeah, she goes,

you know what, I guess I am more of a gatherer. Yeah, I'm out there. This bunch of deers ran away from me because of fucking

the patriarchy. Okay, the Setharchy. Okay. The Seth Rogen movie. So did you watch the trailer? No, I didn't. It's a show, by the way. So it's a show. It's really bad.

And basically, Seth Rogen's the king of bad takes right now, period. Oh, it's just every time he shows up, it's just disappointing. It's always something. Seth Rogen's Mr. Getting Your Car Broken Into His Normal right now. disappointing it's always something he's he's seth rogan's mister uh getting your car broken into his normal right now yeah yeah i mean the people who still love hillary are like they still love seth rogan but like you're a real overlap there he got people with like i'm with her shirts and i'm with him or i'm whatever being like yeah i'm fucking this is the best show i've ever seen so basically what happened was seth rogan's he this is the articles show I've ever seen in my life. Basically what happened was Seth Rogen, this is the articles,

Seth Rogen says his HBO Max series, Santa Inc., has pissed off tens of thousands of white supremacists. So basically, he released this series. It's like, if you watch the trailer, it's like all of the fucking things. Honestly, we were sort of discussing, where I don't know if the idea is that, like people in Hollywood, they go, go hey you have to write this thing

It's going to be like You know about this lesbian elf Legitimately what it is is all the Santas Are basically they make them Like an old hedge fund boys club And they're like covering up rape For Santa Santa's literally like a straight white alpha male

In the trailer It it's all that. They go, Santa. These are some of the things they were like, Santa doesn't even. It's been a straight white males game being Santa forever. And then on top of that, he goes, immediately, he goes, yeah, I guess we got a good situation or a bad situation. More people believe in Santa in this country than COVID and the Holocaust. Yeah, Santa's making everybody smell his fingers and shit.

He's a real bad guy. He has a lock on his desk. Yeah, he has the Matt Lauer fucking button that'll lock the door. Can you send in that new elf we just hired, please? Which is sort of funny that Santa's this piece of shit. If it wasn't draped in all of the stuff. If they just made Santa a piece of shit, it's kind of funny.

Isn't that what the Mel Gibson movie is? But that's what I mean. It's always the piece of shit's better to watch when it's an anti-hero. Tony Soprano's a piece of shit. But also it's Santa. And then they come around and they're actually good guys. That's why it's funny that he's a fucking piece of shit but also it's Santa and then they come around and they're actually good guys like that's why it's funny that he's a fucking piece of shit because it's Santa Claus

bad Santa was so funny yeah it's the juxtaposition it's the juxtaposition but then at the end they always kind of come around whereas this one is gonna come around where like they finally murder him I don't know what happened but you know what I mean like the moral of the story is gonna be like Santa gets his act together

yeah he's gonna he's doing jail time I mean in a happy ending yeah like the real way this plays out like in terms of real life is that Santa's like yeah I'm gonna be more woke

and then he's like I'm gonna like give this this elf a shot and we're gonna make them and then the elf is gonna like basically Santa's gonna say something wrong and the elf's gonna send Santa

like the fucking gulag where he's gonna die and he's like I was trying and they go yeah that's kind of the way it should it's kind of how it should that's how it should work out he comes out he doesn't learn his lesson he's he actually

is like getting ahead of the whole thing and be like you know I'm gonna like be progressive I'm gonna bring this person in and then they're gonna turn on him and just get rid of Santa so the basically it's this girl Alf and it's like well why can't a fucking girl Alf be Santa right by the way I would love the idea of just like

a chick coming down a fucking like chimneys like four million chimneys and you're like yeah after probably 12 they're like what happened to Santa

and they're like Santa's in the fucking trunk of a car if you're listening to this chicks you'll never be Santa you'll never be able to go down a chimney

quit it right now quit it right now if you're sitting at home thinking that there's a chance you'll be Santa it's not gonna happen pal yeah but

Father Christmas I mean there's gonna be so many times where it's like the chick Santa's gonna be like to the reindeer be like we gotta get out of here

they're coming for us trying to like rape us and shit but it's fucking true everyone's trying to catch Santa yeah everyone's trying to it's like Santa's a hot chick now

coming down your fucking we did gay Santa last time because they did one where Santa's everybody's trying to it's like oh Santa's a hot chick now coming down your fucking we did gay Santa last time because they did one where Santa's gay so they essentially that's every fucking place was like

they just say they go we have a gay Santa we have a girl Santa we have they went through all the different things and tried to make a movie

about each one of them crippled Santa yeah the worst part about this show too because I watched like one crippled Santa would be incredible he goes

this is our new Santa he's got no arms he's got no legs he has no arms well he'd be like he'd be like handyman where he tries to remember the

it's handyman handyman where he tried to like go out the when you fly away and he would fall out the window but this is he'd be falling down the chimney he'd just be like

no he'd be like holding on to the reindeer with his teeth like and he's like he's like you know and you see that's pretty impressive quadriplegic Santa

and he goes hey uh can you fish your gift out of the bag I can't really get it yeah he just falls down the chimney oh fuck

well that so basically the new show has like a 3% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes and the whole thing was that basically

it's the same thing that everyone it really is like a whodunit of like who's triggered because he's kind of like, they're all fucking triggered. He said, we pissed off tens of thousands

of white supremacists with our new show and available on HBO Max. And then he goes, oh, he posted that the data series launched. So his whole thing was like, anyone who doesn't like my show is a white supremacist, which I also want to say that anyone who doesn't like the boys cast is a white supremacist anyone who said that danny's bad at sex is a white supremacist absolutely i mean i i don't like that show so i guess i'm a white supremacist that's a fact dude the worst part

about the show too is i think they tried to cover up for like how just bad the premise is but they super crass and like they swear they're all like they're like you they're like you cocksucker and like no that's because this is the thing with

the guys like Seth Rogen it's like you know he's kind of like you're I'm not triggered you're triggered and then the people are like no we're not triggered

it's like funny to downvote your movie kind of which it is which it is so funny but he's kind of like no I'm you're no you're actually pissed off because i'm because all of his thing forever was you know i can't believe they let us make

that movie like he he's like we're edgy boys but that's what i'm saying that's yeah yeah for sure but like that show is they're like yeah we're gonna we're gonna swear so like to the point where you're like we're edgy boys yeah we're edgy boys but you're like you watch and you're like this is like even excessive I know that it's like maybe like oh it's funny it's a cartoon they swear a lot

but you're like that's been done a million times no because it's like if you're saying that okay we're gonna make a a cartoon

but the message of it it's like we wanna make like sort of an edgy thing right but the message of it is like you better be nice to people

the least edgy thing on earth the message is the same message that like Bank of America is saying. Well, straight up you go, yeah, they swear a lot, but also white guys are bad. Right. So if that's your message, the fucking thing has to be, this is how you're like, hey, I don't give a fucking shit.

Who's fucking listening? White dudes are fucking bad. And you go, I'm sorry. You couldn't handle the F bombs, white supremacists. I'm sorry, white supremacists. So that's what's kind of going on.

Cause the weed thing isn't really, cause that's, although I did actually see one thing where the straight up, like, you know, like, I guess they use the term Shabbos Goy in the, in the thing.

Cause, so I guess I didn't even, here's the thing. I went to fucking Hebrew school for like nine years. I had never heard of this term before. And so they're like, do you know, I had to look it up last night.

So it's the term for Orthodox people. They hire Gentiles to like do stuff for them on Shabbat because they're not allowed to, you know, touch the stove or whatever. The Jews are handing out stuff. I've done that.

I've done that. Yeah, yeah. So I guess there's a term for it And then I guess The people who are like Hate the Jews They really don't like the term Because they're like

Offended They go How dare But it's like Jews are straight up They're like Why don't they like it What's the translator

It's literally like Dirty dog turns off light Or something No it's like It's when they hire If anything It's like the sweetest gig You go

Yo here's fucking $20 Can you turn my stove on And you're like Yeah fuck yeah Like why wouldn't I do this If anything, it's like the sweetest gig. You go, yo, here's fucking $20. Can you turn my stove on? And you're like, yeah, fuck yeah. Why wouldn't I do this? But they're like, what? That's all we are to you? We're just these fucking Gentiles who are here to just turn your stove on? You're like, yeah, for money.

I don't know. Oh, I did it for free. But they don't like it. They don't like the term. I'd never heard of it until now. I did it for free. So what did you do? Oh, you didn't do paid for it?

What I didn't know was the thing. You were i was you're just walking they saw me coming they saw me coming and i was just walking down the street and some guy was like yo yeah you're coming to my house i was like no you psycho and then i told my friend who was just like a regular jew like yourself and he was like oh it's like this like magic bullshit that they believe in yeah i went in i turned off the lights the kids were all there like the children of the corn yeah it was it was it was spooky it was a nice house turned off the lights i turned off the lights and turned off the the stove it was a friday night i think yeah yeah so it's always on friday night yeah yeah exactly and then they gave but they did give me some bread they gave me some our buddy did that and they gave him a water bottle and it was like they go here's

a bottle of water yeah but it was already open it had been opened and it was just tap water that they had filled up a fucking plastic bottle of water and they had

probably taken that empty bottle from the trash yeah yeah it was the worst he goes uh thanks and you got a

piece of bread they just give you a piece of bread and they say get the fuck out of here you Irish piece of shit well actually I

went back in I went back in with my friend who was Jewish and then he was like yo come on stop it i swear i swear oh that's not i swear shut up he goes yo he's like yo give us give us some bread and i didn't i swear on everything that is holy in the world why did he want bread so bad because they he could smell it and they were just cooking it oh they were making like challah or something yeah it was fucking good

it was really fucking good who was your Jewish friend a comic called Will Paz so you went in there I was walking to an open mic past one of the Jewish neighborhoods in Williamsburg

there was a guy outside they saw a soccer comment he goes come into my house I was like no I told my friend I go yo some creep was trying to get me into his house

and he's like no he's not a creep he's an acidic Jew I was like alright okay and then so I was like on the way back if he's still there,

we'll go in and do it. So he, but he came with me, my friend, but he wasn't allowed to do anything. My Jewish friend. He can't do it.

Why? Because he's Jewish? It's a sin. It's a sin to get a Jew. But even if he's like, I'm a bad Jew? No, no,

for them. Yeah. Oh, not for that guy. Oh, that'd be the best to just be like, oh yeah,

yeah, I'll do it. And then he turned up and go, I'm Jewish, you fucking rubes. And you walk out. We are sneaky.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it. Enjoy sitting in your forbidden darkness. Just to prank him into hell. That'd be a fun fucking prank.

That is pretty fun. Dude, that'd be like actually a fun, pretty fun prank thing That's actually a funny thing. That's a not bad prank show. It's just like prank Hasidic Jews

on fucking Shabbat. Just trick them into hell, being going to the hell. You thought I was a Shabbos guy. I'm just a Sh bad prank show. It's just like prank Hasidic Jews on fucking Shabbat. Just trick them into hell, being going to hell. You thought I was a Shabbos guy. I'm just a Shabbos Jew. You'd have to be Jewish to probably get that show greenlit. Oh, I don't think that's a YouTube. That show ain't getting greenlit.

How long do you think, though? You think the ADL would like that show, pranking Jews? I mean, if it's another Jew doing it, what are they going to do? Yeah. That's the whole trick, right? The last allowable white guy was the loser bearded white guy. I'm not going to... Tattoos and a beanie and that's you. I got no tattoos.

You are sort of the... Because there was a moment where you never really got to thrive in it when they were like, hey, fat bearded white guys are the thing. No, I was late to that. You look like you could be Seth Rogen's brother. Oh, and then by the time it was like, maybe we're going to work out, they're like, yeah, white people are not really. And I go, all right.

Those guys got to keep their jobs as long as they said the dogma. Well, they were already in. Yeah, yeah. They were already in. But you never, but it's over. The era where people think the fat bearded guy is funny is like almost, I can't think of a recent one. You just missed it I mean

I need to be in a wheelchair Indiana Jones I need to be in a wheelchair to even have a chance yeah you need to get fat air oh yeah I need to get like

probably tack on a hundo so fat that they just like his opinions don't matter is that what you're saying well they're just like no it's so fat that I'm becoming like

I'm in a protected class you're saying well they're just like no it's so fat that I'm becoming like I'm in a protected class you're not white anymore yeah yeah like my obesity trumps my whiteness absolutely yeah yeah like just insanely

sure I said the n-word but I'm 400 pounds yeah guys I'm a fucking minority I'm not even allowed to fly in this country I mean I am but I just can't

can I say can I say about that movie I did see that movie? I did see that there was like the tagline for it or whatever. It was like, an elf,

a female elf wants to be Santa and she'll do anything even if it means fighting like a man. And I was like, alright, so your whole premise

of this movie is like, a girl can do it if she embodies all the best qualities of a man. Every movie is always like, she can do it too by acting like a man

by acting like every average man yeah yeah if she could just embody the fullness of a real average

just everyday FedEx worker then she could accomplish anything maybe show a little bit of ambition you know ask for things

I don't actually don't ask for a raise first of all maybe start there that movie we've talked about this before but that also movie or show is a classic thing where like

that actually should have been a movie that's like 90 minutes that's crazy and it's like and it's like a series so you're like they took like probably a movie that would not have been good

and then you know tripled it in length essentially to make it episodic right yeah you're like this should not have been a fucking show like zero people are fucking finishing episode two and they're like you want to go to sleep you're like i can't we got it yeah we're uh binging the santa

inc show it's a six minute video at the beginning like like succession there's a real long drawn out into the episode you're like yes there's yeah you just like fuck we got this yeah no let it play out let it play out I love this it gets me jazzed

yeah Lady Santa I love it Lady Santa there is so that's what I was saying we're not sure if this is like in your

the whole premise is like you know let's make the just most like if we can hit every buzzword and like every buzzword and yeah like every

buzzword meme if that could be like the entire thing ever for the entire fucking every five seconds you're hearing a new toxic something word that you've heard a million times or because all of the writers that are like successful writers that get these gigs they have to do this stuff so they're like okay fine but fine, but this is going to be a hunk of fucking shit. Like, I'm going to write this the way that I write copy for like a commercial.

Poorly. Yeah. Just comes home drunk and just like, let me just bang out now. I'm going to bang out my episode of fucking Santa A. Say something, say something.

Trans, yes, yes, yes. Whoever wrote it was like, can we do this under a pseudonym? I don't really want my name attached. They made it animated so that they can keep up to date in case there's like a latest scandal. Yeah.

Like there's like not enough Asian, whatever. They're like, just make that person Asian. Just like last minute. Yeah. Can we just like, just filter it?

Change the color of that character. Quick, quick, quick. And they were sort of not happy. That was one of the things that some people weren't happy about is they were Christians. A lot of people were saying that they go, they were Jews because they go, well, what if

you know, which they are sort of right I guess. You're like, wait till you find out. Like a Muslim movie where you go, we're making all your fucking dudes chicks. I mean, again, the people on the fucking... Who do you think wrote all of your precious Christmas songs?

Literally almost all of them are written by Jews dudes I think right hot or cold was it dudes it was all dudes really

fuck yeah I feel like you were mocking us and we were like that's a good song these guys no I mean

it was just I remember my dad was like yeah you know all these songs were written by Jews and I was like that's weird

like what one like I don't know I don't know, like these, all these songs were written by Jews. I was like, that's weird. Like what one? Like, like, I don't know. I don't know. Like all of them. Wishing a white Christmas. Like, yeah. Baby, it's gold outside. Like pretty much, I'm not saying a hot gold Christmas.

Yeah. It's not really resonating in America. And they go, what about white? Really? So you're saying. I'm not saying all of them, but a lot of them are written by Jews. But it would be sort of funny to be like, oh, we're, you know. The best part is every time you guys are fucking

at Christmas on Christmas Day, when you guys do your shit, where you all have the nog, and you go, let's just do a song, and then some Jew's family gets a nickel. Wow. Just for royalty. What do you mean?

Oh. I get it. But I mean, they do, like when you hear it in the mall, like, and it plays in the mall, like that's like his family just got a nickel. That is very funny. Some Jew's family just got a nickel.

What other, like, religious holidays have you tried to make money out of? I imagine there's like a whole thing you sit around. They're all sitting around with a pen looking at Ramadan, trying to come up with some hits. I could go, what else can we do? I mean, we invented Kwanzaa via the CIA. Okay, nice. I don't know.

I think it's mostly Christmas. That's even focused on that one. Well, that's the thing. You kill Jesus, it's like Christmas I don't you've been focused on that one well that's the thing you kill Jesus it's like alright well you know what I mean joke's on you because we're gonna make

all the money off of it yeah it's like the wire if you follow the money it just gets back to the Jews somehow it's always just I do love the idea though

of being like just being for very progressive reasons you go hey we're making Buddha like a fucking chick and we're making you know what I mean we're making we're doing a mohawk it's gonna be trans for progressive reasons yeah see how that goes i don't know do they have do other places have like things like

the easter bunny and santa or is it only christians that have all these like weird shit yeah they have i mean christians took it from like who else what other religions have like a guy and like the you know fairy tales like that? I'm sure they probably all do. None of you are having trouble naming them. Well, I don't care. I'm trying to think for Judaism if they have like... I'm not a good Jew at all. I'm trying to think what Jews have.

I mean, because I think all of them are actually based on people who... When you're smashing that like button, comment down below if you know of any. I've had some stuff where I said stuff about Jews and people are like, what are you talking about? I'm like, yeah, I'm not that good of a Jew. But I think they're all based off of theoretically they're all real people. I'm thinking of the most, there's Purim, which is

kind of like our Halloween, but then that's still like those people are meant to have existed. Yeah, so that's only the Christians that were creative. Are you saying the Easter Bunny was come up with by a jew uh maybe i could see the easter bunny coming up for just some fucking like park avenue like uh just marketing firm in the yeah it's just a restaurant in pittsburgh came up with the idea and it just spread across yeah well um so this one it's almost who cares about talking about it just because like it was so it's been like for the last two years, everyone's heard about it.

I can't even believe it's back. I thought it was over. Yeah. The Jesse Smollett trial. I read like a bunch of articles about what's going on right now. And you're like, he might be like the fucking sickest dude ever. Just the fact that two years later later he's dying with this lie like to me yeah like this is this is the guy that got booked cheating and he has all the evidence he's doing

he's going all shaggy so what he's being charged with what just like making a false police report so i thought so it's kind of complicated so basically he was getting busted for this whole thing and then he got charged and then the charges got dropped and then they were like suing him. The fucking police department suing him. Okay. There's all these like different components of it, right? Is this a civil trial that he's like, is he just trying to just not pay money at this point?

Or is he like, there's like a couple different ones going on simultaneously. But the, the one that's going on right now I think is the one from the FBI, but I don't quote me on that. But the funniest part is like, I i was like so what's his defense right and in my mind i was like thinking it was going to be some complicated thing and his defense is straight up like nah dude like yeah i didn't lie i don't know they did actually rob me yeah they did rob me they did put the noose around my neck. Yeah. And I kept it there. They screamed MAGA, MAGA, MAGA. This is MAGA country in Chicago.

Yeah. And then. Get out of here, Jesse. It's incredible. And so he's straight up going with like just down with the lie. I respect it. And that's what I was like. Is part of me is like, is there anyone in his life that he's kind of like, fuck, like,

or is every is he gaslighting like the girls in his life or they like his boyfriend right now is his boyfriend being like come on though really and he's like oh you're against me too like oh yeah he's going to his therapist but the trial that's going on is fucking incredible because so this is okay so the first thing that happened was jesse smollett's lawyer claims that the judge lunged at her when she asked for a mistrial during this

and she asked for a mistrial because of it so she was out there talking and then he says the judge like made her yeah yeah flip she goes

two shots and it was all over because she was like I guess she was interrogating one of the dudes and then I guess they got like their text messages and stuff and then the text the guy was like calling someone a gay lord like these were like they were like they were like so you were making like homophobic slurs and he's like like

you know it's just like joking around like calling someone so they're saying and then they're trying to use this as proof to be like yeah because of these texts you did all this stuff that's what they're trying to say that the fucking that one of the guys so they go the first thing is yeah so he hired a lawyer that's basically the same as him where he comes at the lawyer and he's like everyone jumped me and then the lawyer's like i'm getting fucking jumped too they're against their whole team right imagine a mistrial like you go look this this whole like case should be thrown out because the judge lunged at me like how those two things are the judge has to try it was on case no the judge is like what

the judge even said he goes what world are you living in where you think that I'm going to declare a mistrial like how are you even asking for this because you think I lunged at you and he goes yeah you're right I did do that imagine you're the fucking my bad you know

I'm always lunging. Yeah, I got facial issues. I never know if I'm getting in people's personal space. I just fucking see red sometimes. You know what I'm saying? I fucking... Yeah, no. Anyway.

He's got a stress ball. People are like, I'm sorry. That's what it was. And so, basically, yeah, they're trying to say that... I just love the fucking it reminds me of fucking the OJ trial sketches where

the lawyer goes you know point to who did it and then he ducks the sketch because their whole thing is they go the guys that did it

are homophobic they go so the person Walker who's his lawyer girl lawyer he went with girl lawyer

she seems like kind of like a female Jackie Childs a little bit that's what yeah that's exactly what it is it a female Jackie Childs A little bit Yeah that's exactly What it is It's like Jackie Childs

She also produced A text exchange From Smollett's Alleged accomplice Where he referred To a person As a fruit And a gay lord

So they go So basically And then the judge Was kind of like What does this have to do With anything Because they go He basically says

Two white guys Put a noose around me The whole thing They were like Yeah does this have to do with anything? Because they go, he basically says, two white guys put a noose around me, the whole thing. They were like, yeah, he paid us to do it. He gave us $6,000. We have the transfer. And then he goes,

then the lawyer gets up and she goes, well, if that's all true, why did you cut someone a fruit in 2006? Totally. You go, what? This guy cut you off in traffic.

You screamed the home ofophobic slur okay so you say that Jesse Smollett gave you six thousand dollars to beat him up well if that's true

I have a fucking transcript of you in high school calling someone a gay lord can we pull up the Facebook post from 2007 please Facebook post

from 2007 yeah they like bring in some kid who he bullied when he was like fucking 11 years old to be like, he called me a gay lord. He called me a fudge.

The judge is like, I've heard enough. This is, I declare a mischild. Fudge packer. Do not use the word fudge packer in this court, please. That's what he's basically saying. Fruit is not even. He was like, I said I was hungry for some fruit. And they're like, no, no.

I mean, the best scenario in the world would be if this, all of this actually happened and there are these two white guys who are just sitting back watching this whole thing with fucking cigars. Yeah. Like, ha, ha, ha. Just some shit. Best shit ever. We got away with it.

Just some dive bar. They go, not only do we hate black people and gay people and we fucking did this to this guy, but now we're fucking over these other two black guys. Dude, they're winning. This is winning so hard for them. They're like, look, we're fucking everybody over right now. That's Charlie Sheen numbers. Oh, this is like insane.

Best case scenario. They go, the guy whose name is very hard to pronounce, pretty solid name though, Alabinjo Asandarindio or something like that. He goes, he told the court that he wasn't a homophobe like Jesse's lawyers claimed he was. And then he'd worked at a bouncer as a gay club. And he testified that in 2015,

he dressed up as a Trojan warrior and went out to Pride handing out condoms and flexing. You know his lawyer was like, we got to bring up the fact that you dressed up as a Trojan. I know. Is there any way we don't have to bring this up?

That's exactly what I was thinking. Can I please not use this as my defense? Yeah, he's like, I just needed to make rent that one month. Your Honor, how could he be homophobic? He is a fruit himself.

And is there another thing where they jerked each other off in a bathhouse or something? That's what they said. No, I swear. I'm not. It's the wildest trial.

It's like, he has nothing to do with anything. It's like, I jerked off a guy once. Like their final defense too is they like bring him up and they go, they make him just like

kiss a dick and they go, see, he didn't fucking recoil at all. He liked it. He's not homophobic, you're honest. So therefore,

Jesse Smollett is good. A homophobic person would have recoiled in disgust when they kissed this person's penis. Jesse Smollett's lawyer is fucking him.

He's like, this is, or no, sorry, alabinjo, alabanjo. I love the idea of his lawyer going,

listen, go home this weekend, pull up the gayest stuff you've ever done, just ring around, ask your friends, what was the gayest thing you've ever done?

Just give me all the evidence of you being. He's like, I don't know if, he goes, think. He's like, this is your fucking life

on the line here. And he goes, I don't know. He's like, yeah, I went to Adele once. Is that, He's like, I don't know if... He goes, think! He's like, this is your fucking life on the line here. And he goes, I don't know. He's like, yeah, I went to Adele once. Is that... He's like, not good enough! Not good enough! He's like, I've been to Adele, I'm not gay.

He goes, neither am I! Did you ever go shirtless for Halloween? I need something like that. Give me something. He's like, I blew a guy once. He really is... He basically was forced to come out of the closet.

It's so funny. Isn't that great? Dude, I'm telling you, cause he basically, the fucking lawyers in his face and it doesn't even really that relevant. He's like, listen,

I have the transcript of him or like the banker seats of him giving me the $6,000. We have all of the things, like all of basically everything checks out on our case and they're like but it'd really help if you sucked a cock also no more importantly it's just like the story makes no sense to any fucking like critical thinking person you go like none of this adds up so this is obviously like what happened like the fact that you're yeah going down with it you're like i respect that he's going down with it like he's still saying these two like it's the oj thing he goes they're the real fucking people are still out there yeah like jesse smollett in 10 years jesse

smollett's saying it's them and listen i don't know if you oh he's now saying it's there wasn't the white guys okay you ready for this this is why he's so that when they said well then why did you say they were white to the cops and his answer was because uh he thought that they were doing white face so he's and then they posted a photo they found a photo where this guy dressed up as white face like he did white for like a halloween costume or something like that once and they were like look at this guy can't stop painting his face white imagine a black guy with his face painted white but not only that but it's like these two like white chicks well white chicks might be passable it was a legitimate guy with white paint on his face not and he has

that but it's like it's two people he knows it's like two jacked Nigerian guys who you're friends with and then they go they put a little white face on it's like fucking Superman shit where it's like

the glasses are on you're like I have no idea do they have like are they like Nigerian Nigerian like heavy Nigerian accent where they're like

put this noose around your neck he's like just some white guy comes up and goes put this noose around your neck what a mega accent this guy has. So yeah, his story doesn't. And then the guy, because he still says he's not gay.

That's the other thing, right? So he goes, yeah, I'm not gay, but I'm not homophobic. And it's like, they're like, well, you're sort of homophobic. Which one is it? You know, because that's what he said. He goes, there can only be one of them. Red, blue, blue, blue. He goes, goes Yeah he testified

That he dressed up She's like I'm not gay But yes I dressed up With my shirt off And handed out condoms At the gay pride parade

And then Jesse's attorney Suggested That Jesse Had a sexual relationship With him The other The other guy And the pair

Masturbated together In bathhouses Wow Jesse's just Spilling the beans isn't he i'll tell you what's happening he's like you don't come at me you're not he's like gossip he's just a right classic gay gossip guy jesse is saying to him like hey you know i mean there's lots more where that comes from unless you just admit that you did it oh i just remembered the other guy

fucked me in the ass actually no yeah yeah no i just remember that yeah and so they're basically outing him which is the yeah it's a catch 22 essentially it's like you have to prove that you're innocent

but like you're also it seems like someone needs to just be like the Jesse going stop this is serious and he's like

nah he's like this guy fucked me no no this is a thing now stop it Jesse please and he just keeps

fucking this guy sucked my dick and he was wearing whiteface and he put a noose around my neck. And he's like, did these were your friends? He's like, yeah, they were my friends, but it turns out they're homophobic.

I showed the attorneys to her, like, I can't believe we make $500 an hour to just do this right now. Just be involved in this nonsense or whatever. This is like some sort of thing that, it's like children reenacting a court case or something. This would be a fun one to be on the jury. They're just making shit up as they go along,

and they go, yo, he has cooties and shit. And then the guy has to come out and be like, I don't have cooties. It's like, what's this got to do with anything? Oh, man, if I was a juror on this, I'd just be like, yeah, my mind's been made up for the entire time. I'll be tough to find a partial juror on this bad boy.

Someone who's missing a brain. Well, so the girl, yeah, because there's lots of good factors. There's the whole undertone of like everyone's calling everyone gay. But then on top of that, the fucking, his girl lawyer who keeps accusing the judge of microaggressions, essentially. The lady lawyer. She goes, Walker, she goes, was reported close to tears after the judge rejected her motion that there should be a mistrial. So she started crying. Imagine a guy lawyer.

You go, I demand a mistrial. I don't like how you kind of lunged. And then you're like, I'm not giving you a mistrial. And just like breaks down in tears. I don't know why you're being so nasty about it. But like, imagine if you're a lawyer and you gotta be like, yeah, I'm not fucking hiring the lawyer

who broke down in tears in a courtroom because of not getting your way with a judge. You're like, that's the most unprofessional shit. Well, you wanna hear even more unprofessional shit? Yeah. So after that happened, I'm telling you, this thing's great. After that happened,

she wanted her mistrial. She started on tears. And then she left the courtroom with her mother, professional shit yeah so after that i'm telling you this thing's great after that happened she wanted her mistrial she started on tears and then she left the courtroom with her mother who was also in attendance the lawyer's mom was there for so why is the lawyer's mom she goes you can do it i'm proud of you just for support support like when your mom comes to fucking if you're a lawyer and your mother should be like get the fuck out of here It's so boring Why are you here There's cameras here That's crazy

That her mom's at the fucking Yeah Great out You look great Yeah just like Not even paying attention She just goes You look great up there

No she goes up there And she goes You lunged me And the guy goes I'm not And she goes And then she has a guy And then they go hug her mom

Yeah the mom's at the back She goes You lunged I saw the lunge And he goes Order in the court And she's going fucking insane Yeah the mom's at the back you lunged I saw the lunge and he goes order in the court and it's going fucking insane yeah the mom's mean

mugging the judge the whole time okay so this is the kissing her teeth if you no but look picking the lady lawyer is just like

look we're losing anyway you fucking get up there you know it's like throwing in that like retard kid off the fucking bench at the last last game of the season

you go what have we got to lose Jesse it's fucking 10-0 and you got yeah yeah pop on there kid off the fucking bench at the last game of the season. You go, what have we got to lose? It's fucking 10-0. You got a pop on there. Play center. Who cares? Do whatever. Say the guy wore white face. I don't care.

She's just throwing hail, Mary. Say the guy wore white. Yeah, well, maybe the two guys. Well, why did you say these two black guys are white people? You ever heard of paint? But he knows the guys. Yeah. They have accents, though. He was like, yeah, well, maybe they fucking were faking it.

They were doing white guy accents. They were doing white guy accents. You think that's one of the fucking lawyers will do these tricks to win their case, and they bring them in in white paint? He goes, can you point out who was there? And he's looking around and he goes, I don't... Oh, these guys? They don't just fool

so badly? They're bringing in different white paint guys too. And they go, so this is even better. The brothers in Smollett also sent himself a letter to the Fox studio where Empire is filmed a week before the attack. If he did,

he faces another five to ten years in prison for a federal mail charge fraud. So basically this one, he sent the Fox studios a letter and it was like, we want to kill, hey, we're going to kill this queer, Jesse Smollett.

Oh, but they're saying Jesse sent it? No, so in addition, so he also, he didn't just hire the guys. He was really dead set on his hate crime. Wait, hold on a second. sent it? No, so in addition, so he also, he didn't just hire the guys. He was really dead set on his hate crime. Wait, hold on a second. Is it, it's a crime to send letters saying you're going to kill people?

I think that's what it is, yeah. Uh-oh. Where's he going to go? His ex-girlfriend's fucking going to have a case now, isn't she? I didn't know you can't fucking send letters to movie studios saying you're going to kill certain actors you don't like.

It's amazing, too, because 5 million people sent letters to the White House being like, I want to kill the president. And people are like, yeah, just put that in the incinerator. We're not going to do anything about that. I did that with the cerebral palsy kid in Breaking Bad. I wrote in, I was like, get this guy off the screen. I go, honestly, dude, you've left me no choice. That was such a different era, too.

I'm asking you nicely now. The next time, I won't knock. I won't be so polite. An able-bodied guy fucking... That guy doesn't actually have cerebral palsy, right? Yeah, he does. Oh, he does. Oh, he does?

I thought he was playing. They've had people. That used to be how you get an Oscar back in the day. My left foot. Daniel Day-Lewis. Yeah, and the dude who played fucking... I love you, Mary. The Stephen Hawking, right? Yeah, you play a silly man. Daniel Day-Lewis. Yeah, and the dude who played fucking... I love you, Mary. The Stephen...

Or Hawking, right? Yeah, you play a silly man. That used to be the code. The silly man, is that what you call him? That's a Hollywood code for spas. It's a bit of a silly role. I need more of a silly... Have you ever played a silly role before?

And yeah, so they said it was the... And you know what the other thing that was funny is the cut and like those articles, those other thing that was funny is the cut and like those articles, those places were writing articles because I was looking at a lot of articles about this

and there was like tons of articles being like the mentality of why would anyone try to fake a hate crime? And it was like, really? After all this,

you guys still don't get why? What's the incentive for a hate crime? Attention. Or for faking it? Well, yeah, they wrote all these articles being like, what's the incentive for the hate crime attention well yeah they wrote all these articles being like

what's the incentive for the hate crime and it's like yeah you don't really get it why the riches that would come with this I mean if it was real

you literally go from a supporting actor to like hey we're gonna give you your own spin off as the star of your own show just Lee Rolls yeah Lee Rolls

you're the new Tom Hanks what did that letter say and it was just like hey it was like and it was clearly like a 5am coke binge orgy all of his ideas

I imagine all of his ideas were he's naked with other men and they're all just fucking nuts and they're just like write a letter yeah and they're just like coked out of their head fucking each other it's like wild that's exactly what it was It was at the bath

I was jacking each other off It's like This is the fucking move Yeah I think it's still To this day going Apparently too The two guys

The two black dudes Went up to him And this is what A part I can't remember Where this came from But basically They said

Hey we'll say it was us And do the time If you pay us Like a crazy amount of money like we'll we'll do the five years and agree that we did actually do this to you but it's gonna fucking cost you big and apparently he was like what are you talking about i've never met you before you know what i mean he's like no you got the wrong guy motherfucker that was probably a misstep for that was bad yeah He thinks he's still going down.

He thinks they're still going down for it. But that's the thing. The gay men thing, he's black too, which is solid. But the gay men are sort of, it's not that high of a thing on the totem pole anymore. No, no, no. There's not a lot of persecution for it anymore. They're not. The gay men, it's very similar to the Jews thing when someone tries to be like, oh, because I'm Jewish,

like anti-Semitic or homophobic. You're like, yeah, no one's homophobic. No one cares. You know this. No one gives a shit. Yeah.

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Well, speaking of that. Not like they used to. So this BuzzFeed article is perfect. So basically, it was a bunch of girls and lesbians. The lesbo community got together. Yeah. lesbians the lesbo community got together yeah and the lesbo community basically did uh a list of reasons why like uh 10 reasons why what it goes what queer women want gay men to stop doing yeah and basically a bunch of lesbos were like you got it too fucking good gays and they really

give them the gears in it oh yeah gays are getting lumped into the just like the guys suck thing well think about it. They were impervious for a bit though. Dude, they were like, guys suck, but not gay guys. 80% of popular Republican commentators are gay. I'm not even saying in the closet. Actually, there's so many of them.

And the other 20% are in the closet. It's 100%. Republican commentators are gay. A lot of them do get accused of being in the closet it's a hundred percent there is a few republican commentators are gay a lot of them comment a lot of them do get accused of being in the closet i started thinking that um how fuck was it there's something like uh fuck can't remember i can i'm in the closet bit but they go okay i've been told by this is i'll go through some of them i've been told by gay men many times that I have it easier as a lesbian because it's more accepted. Being sexualized and being accepted are different things.

So basically they're saying, which is, I'll give them their first one, maybe where you go, I'll, they have it easier if you're a lesbian, but I do believe it more when someone's gay. Where someone,

a lesbian comes in and you go, oh, I'm like a lesbian now. You do believe it more when someone's gay. Where someone, a lesbian comes in and you go, oh, I'm like a lesbian now. You go, whatever. You have to literally be holding, you have to be holding

like a hammer for me. You know, like, right. You gotta have a tight haircut. Yeah. How many girls we know that came out of the closet

and you go, yeah, sure you are. Sure you are. Sure you are. When they're like a pretty 21 year old. Yeah,

call me when you're getting married to a fucking dude. No, the problem with the the thing is like you instantly believe a guy a guy's gay whereas like

no one's questioning that where a woman you're like okay well I'll see you in 10 years and I guess we'll see but until until 10 years from now I'm not gonna believe it

until it's still I know specific girls that came out of the closet like a whole big thing like I'm a fucking lesbian their whole Facebook and Instagram profile was all about being gay here's me and then they they were like out of the closet like a whole big thing like I'm a fucking lesbian their whole Facebook and Instagram profile

was all about being gay here's me and then they they were like kind of the decent looking ones and then they had like the hot like they had the not hot

like the butch girl yeah they'd have their girlfriend there with the tool belt and the shaved head and they're like I am gay married to a dude

like yeah that's over well if that's the type of girl, you might as well just go. You don't see that often the other way around, though, where it's, you know what I mean?

The guy who's just like fucking on the scene and then now he's just like married to a chick and he goes, ah, no, that was something else. I wasn't myself those years. Go on, just buy.

And you go, yeah. Yeah, you are. Yeah, you are. Gay men say it's easier for us to go in public because we're women they seem to forget that as a woman and a lesbian my fear of being injured is very strong oh i'm sorry have you ever heard of somebody named jesse small let's hey yeah that's the thing the idea that women are just how many women are walking around with nooses around their neck because someone fucking said it was MAGA country and poured bleach on them? Okay, but more importantly, to say that I'm double, I'm walking, even just walking, I'm going to get fucking murdered most likely because I'm a woman. One and two times I'm dead.

You know what I mean? I'd say women, the way that they're describing it is like, most of the time I get murdered when I go shopping. They always do. I got murdered. I've gone to Best Buy, wish me luck, you know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going out. I get murdered once a week. It's all the time. It's just a battle out there. I'm always getting murdered and injured from every time I just,

but you go, they're like, I'm pretty likely to get murdered because I'm a woman and I'm likely to get murdered because I'm a lesbian. And you go,

if you are saying, okay, I'm likely to get beat up because I'm lesbian. And you go, if you are saying, okay, I'm likely to get beat up because I'm like a woman for some guy who's going to just jump me and beat me up, you're less likely

that you're also a lesbian, not more likely. Yeah, also, women are more likely to get raped. Men are more likely to get murdered. Exactly.

But if a guy is like Bella Clava in the bushes and he's like, oh, a chick, let me like rape and murder her and then she has her like, you know, Joey's rugby franchise. You got's like, oh, a chick. Let me rape and murder her. And then she has her Joey's Rugby franchise. You got her baseball, mate.

And you go, are you more like? Is that guy? No, that guy is like, I'll get the next one. Yeah, he's waiting. Maybe someone a little lighter footed. He goes, we'll get the next one. You know what? I'm getting tired, actually. He keeps seeing all the girls,

all the lesbians. He keeps going, is that a softball game right now? I'm not into this tonight. I'm not in a raving mood. Why are we at Home Depot? What is going on? That's kind of what it is, right?

Yeah. So he goes, you can imagine. And the next one is, because of queer gatekeeping, I'm bi, but I'm constantly asked to prove my bisexuality

and I'm subjected to detailed questions about my sexual encounters. I'm a cis woman married to a cis man, so that automatically disqualifies my queer status, I guess. Yeah. And you go, yeah. Yeah, that's what we were just doing. So we were queer gatekeepers.

Yeah, you were queer gatekeepers. Yeah, we are queer. We are, absolutely. That disqualifies. Absolutely. You will decide whether you're queer. Get back over here. That disqualifies my queerness. It's like you're married that disqualifies you will decide whether you're queer get back over here that disqualifies

my queerness it's like you're married and have four kids and you're in your 40s just because I've never I think the queerness train's kind of sailed just because I've never

actually dated a woman or had a sexual intercourse with a woman doesn't mean I'm not a lesbian yeah it's like ever never once no

and I refuse to have threesomes I refuse DeBoer was like, threesomes? She's like, no, no, no. No, I believe in the sanctuary of marriage. But I'm still fucking, I love girls. Yeah, but anyway, it's gay pride, so you got to be nice to me.

Pride month, so I get what I want. Yeah, stop queer gatekeeping me. He's like, okay, well, I got a girl for you to have sex with. The gatekeeper is in every community, just the queer gatekeeper. You're making me prove my bisexuality but but like proof for what like to get into that you just hit the nail on the head because it's all they they sort of show their cards here when they go oh so that disqualifies me for my status so it's like so it's a status thing you agree so you agree that you're doing

this for a status thing and you're unhappy that you're not getting an adequate quantity of your status. You don't like being the lowest on the fucking victim totem pole. On the victim totem pole, you go, it sucks down here. I get no benefits for my identity. I would like something. All it is is she acknowledges that Angelina Jolie is a pretty woman.

She's like, I'm gay. I'm obviously gay. It's like the classic, I kissed a girl. There was a good article that fucking, I got sent that we won't go through the whole thing, but it was the girl being like, you know, I'm in a, I know that I'm like bisexual, but every time I'm with a woman,

I'm in my head, I keep telling myself like, no, you're not actually bisexual. You're probably just going to get married to a man. This is just a phase you're doing. It's like, how do I stop that? How do I stop my uh she goes how do i turn off my thoughts your conscience your soul there's a whole article i might even have a witch for him does anyone know what he spells just stop my thoughts from telling me i'm straight my inner self keeps saying this is gross is there anything I can...

It's like... Lesbians. We talked about this before on a different episode, but it's like the college thing where people are like, I don't know what my identity is. And if you're just straight in college, then everybody's like... Yeah.

You're lame, basically. You didn't have that problem, eh? But I... It's the last year where it's been. But I've talked... People think like I know I know people who have like

they've got teenage kids now and you know it's like cool to like not be straight I guess but the guys are still they're still not if you ask me

okay boomer yeah yeah I get mad me and I used to have seen him Danny was getting real mad last weekend when he found out

Santa was gonna be gay oh yeah I got triggered yeah he goes oh fucking what's next that's what he said Me and Danny, I used to have seen him. Danny was getting real mad last weekend when he found out Santa was going to be gay. Oh, yeah? I got triggered. Yeah, he goes, oh, fucking, what's next? That's what he said. What, he's going to be a Jew now? We covered the tree and fucking shit? Yeah, and I thought that was me when they found out I was going to be a woman this week.

I go, oh, come on, Santa's a woman? What's next? They're going to be doing construction? What, are there going to be doctors now, too? Gay men are getting it right now, though. They said gay men can be just as misogynistic and gross as straight men, so take that, gays. Gay men are, a lot of the time, much more misogynistic than...

I mean, they literally find vaginas, like, disgusting. And then they just go up to them like you know the gay guys I've heard they go like ew that's fucking gross and nasty

oh gained weight you know they go up to you like you're gained weight yeah just me yeah I mean

I don't blame them but again they literally find like women at least sexually disgusting yeah and then after

yeah and after that there's nothing else to like about them yeah I get it like at least like at least like disgusting. Yeah. And after that, there's nothing else to like about them. Yeah, yeah. I get it. At least our misogyny is not finding women disgusting.

No. No. We appreciate them as the pieces of meat that they are. At least there's that. They're just like they're disgusting sexually

and we hate them. Hey, at least I like going down on you. Yeah. Come on. Well, they go, I've had a guy touch my boobs, but he laughed it off because he was just one of the girlies. No, you're a man touching me inappropriately, and I feel uncomfortable.

Being gay doesn't give you a pass. Boom. Gays are getting hit. Yeah. And by the way, that is a fucking thing where it's like, yeah, gay guys would be like, to your girlfriend, like, there she is. And you're like, hey, buddy. Pause off the merchandise, man. I don't come around touching your dicks i don't come around fucking groping the dicks that you're also if it's like they're on the

margin of being gay you're like you're not totally sure and you're like are you just pretending to just grow people kind of thing and then you're like look you're like i'm gonna need yeah the andy dick you're like i'm gonna need you to see you sucking a dick in the next like 15 minutes otherwise we have a problem. I love that. I don't come around grabbing your dicks and they're like,

why not? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We would love that. Please. Do you see me coming around to the bathhouse and fucking sucking off the dudes you're fucking?

You're welcome anytime. They go, please stop mimicking black women as a personality trait. So, shot, shot, shot, shot. What's that yes queen yeah yes queen girl girl which is like you can't say girl that was one of them and i'm like that's like one

of the most used words like gay guys i think hey girl girl yeah yeah yeah you're right they are just i'm telling you man they are just black women you're right actually i never thought that gay men are just black women yeah oh you've never heard that i've never quite no yeah that's a pretty uh a few people have made that comparison. Yeah, I get it. Well, it's all that drag culture stuff too. It's kind of, what's up girl? Like the RuPaul.

Yeah, yeah. Just the yes, queen and fucking go get them. So they don't like when black, they're mimicking black women. They go, gay men need to stop thinking they all have a degree in fashion. So you're not good at fashion, gay guys. Stop thinking you're good at fashion well this is just like a personal thing that's what i'm saying it starts off legit and now it's no yeah it gets to the point away yeah it's like yo it's like we were tired of seeing all these gay guys like working in fashion they're like those are our jobs it's like it's straight up they're like they're taking our jobs

that is a bit of that like they're going that's mine like i should be doing that they're taking our jobs that is a bit of that like they're no we that's mine like i should be doing that they're taking our men on our job it's straight up like the representation thing where it's like a disabled person sees someone playing a disabled person and they go like that should be me you can't do that you're not disabled like we're supposed to be a lot of the gay guys too they they do say i mean i see this with girls too i guess both of them but just fashion people where they're like oh i'm so'm so good at fashion. You're just like, yeah, what you're wearing

looks ridiculous. Like I saw this girl yesterday that was really like fashion-y at the stand and she had like these huge blue jeans that look like fucking garbage bags and then these weird boots

underneath them and you could tell in her mind she was, you know, this was an Instagram fucking, yeah, you should be featured on blogs. Yeah.

And you go, yeah, this looks stupid yeah they walk around like will.i.am just like with dumb glasses

and like half a fucking sleeve missing on a leather jacket and you're like no this looks fucking ridiculous you're crazy

like no you just don't get it I'm thinking outside the box and the box is nice clothing it was half a sleeve missing

on a leather jacket and they go literally just let women wear whatever they want being gay does not exempt you from being sexy so again it was half a sleeve missing on a leather jacket and they go literally just let women wear whatever they want being gay does not exempt you from being sexist so again

they're calling them sexist for that's when the guys being like what you were saying where they go nice shirt honey you know you call that a fucking

pants you fat pig well they all think they're queer for the straight guy where they're like should be critiquing yeah yeah

nice pants honey that is if you could get away with that you go yeah absolutely if i could just pretend to be gay and just go straight up to my girl that is someone someone's enjoying the pies now i'm gay no it doesn't get it's not mean how funny is that to just show up to the bar like as a gay guy one night like you and your boys just could we go we know what let's just pretend we get and you You show up. You're like, look at this fat, chubby fuck. And you... Just bullying women.

Oh, slow down, honey. Or I'm going to be standing in your footprint. Is it an eclipse? Or did you just walk past the light? Well, this fat bitch smells. Look at this buck two cunt he goes gay gay gay gay gay gay you just hit you guys all the boys that's such a fun night with the french martinis the french martinis for the boys yes absolutely yeah you're just all throwing gay as t-shirts or whatever okay that's

fuck just walking straight up something i think where were we we're at that that uh abba thing you're not light as a feather but you are stiff as a board or just flat as a board fuck i had it okay do it again you're not you're not light as you're definitely not light as a feather but you are flat as a board. Gay. Gay, gay, gay. Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay. Oh, no. You don't even do the accent. You go, no, we're gay.

Yeah, yeah, no, we fuck. What's up? We're two gay dudes. You fat. Yeah, no, I love his cock. Yeah, no, I... Hey, you're a fucking fat, gross bitch. No, no, it's all good. I sucked him off earlier.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're gay. We're definitely gay, so just accept. Yeah, you just open up your jacket so it's like a little rainbow. Nice two chins you got there. No,

don't worry, I fucking fucked him earlier. Excuse me? It's all good, I'm gay. Woo! Ah, you got it.

Hey, who put on that makeup The Marge Simpson makeup Yeah yeah yeah Nice makeup We in a hurry We in a hurry I never have the confidence To do my makeup in the car

He's the one Yeah he's the Yeah you get the G The glasses He's the one The G That's so funny I never have the makeup I never have the confidence To do. The double G. That's so funny. I never have the makeup.

I never had the confidence to do my makeup in the car. That's so brave of you. Appletini. One appletini for me and my other fellow homosexual boys, please. Yeah, those fat pigs will be paying for it. Send a check to Chim's over there. Hey, fat pigs, do you want to buy us a drink? Or are you homophobic?

Or are you homophobic? We're gay. You're like posing for photos with them while the women are sad. We're gay lords if you want to buy me and the boys a drink. Also, I did want to say I compliment you. I also never have the guts to shop at secondhand stores. I appreciate that. I always go designer.

So the fact that you're just doing fake designer. Oh my God. Yeah. I'd never have the confidence to pull off JCPenney. I could never. Da da da da do.

Gay boys. You got a gross ass. Anyways, we're gay. Nice. Yeah, your nose is fucking pretty crooked, eh? We're gay. Nonstop.

Just go ride them just kidding you look not even like you do the you do the negging that like people guys who neg like do wrong

yeah like you know where they're told like yeah you want to like kind of like just criticize them but like not and then they

but they're so like autistic that they go hey you're uh disgusting yeah honestly I admire your confidence

to go to a blind barber yo yo did you just fall from heaven? Because it looks like you landed on your face. We're gay. Yeah, we're not gay. I fucked up. We're gay. Yeah, we suck each other off a lot.

Anyways. Whoa. One's bigger than the other. Look at these flat ass dudes. Oh, look at these droopies. Ugh, gross. Look at it. Ugh, gross.

But even if they were hot, I still wouldn't like them. Look at these flat ass dudes Oh look at these droopies Ugh Gross Look at the Ugh gross But even if they were hot I still wouldn't like them Yeah Oh

I bet your pussy Just looks disgusting Let me just fucking lick it Ugh gross Ugh Just as gross as I thought it was Let me just do a gross test Oh yeah

It turns out it's gross Na na na na na I correctly identified that as gross in the first place. It actually sounds sick to be gay, to be honest. It sounds awesome. We're gay, yeah. I'd like to bend you over and then fucking

spit on you. Leave. You're gross. We're gay. Just have the best sex of your life with this girl. Because you're pretending to like it. Just walk up to a woman in a bar and just punch her in the face. gay yeah I'm just having the best sex of your life with this girl cause you're pretending to like just walk up to a woman in a bar just punch her in the face

yeah I'm gay officer I'm gay I was being sassy yeah it's called being sassy

officer you heard I was yes queen you tarred and feathered her yeah it's an old

gay tradition she's gonna have permanent scarring to her face well that fucking that's an old gay tradition She's gonna have Permanent scarring To her face Well that fucking That's an improvement Sounds like an Interfere

Looks like she I'm sorry I thought she was The child from The Shining Okay he goes And then they go Ten is I play on a co-ed

I play on a co-ed Gay kickball league But it's the same As any other co-ed gay kickball league, but it's the same as any other co-ed league. Men are the majority, so the men are the team captains, which means the women are always last in the lineup. So gay men don't think that gay women rock at sports. Oh, wow.

It sounds like gay men still have access to statistics. They look, they pull up the thing, oh yeah, they see exactly who scored all the goals, and they go, hmm. I think I'm going to pick the person who scores the most goals first and the person who's the worst last.

So one of the things that they don't like about So smallest, you're last. One of the things they don't like about gay men is that they don't let the lesbians

be the captain of the gay football teams. Hey, we're all about, it's a very inclusive league here, okay? Can I be captain Alright we're not Alright

We want to win Yeah so they don't like that You can be lady captain Captain of the ladies You're captain of the bench That was my fucking like But like I used to play like softball and stuff When I was like in college

And like When we started playing co-ed Oh god This isn't even fun Co-ed Even when you're children We played like that In school Oh it's-ed and you're like, this isn't even fun. Co-ed, even when you're children. We played like that in school. Oh, it's even worse

when you're children. I remember we were playing soccer and I kicked the ball and hit one of the girls in the stomach. And she just cried and they called the game off. They probably like,

yeah, exactly, the game off. And you go, okay, maybe we shouldn't be doing this. And I got, yeah, they were like, oh, you're going too hard

or something. I was like, are we fucking winning yeah exactly or are we not winning and most of those girls are like we don't even want to be doing

we didn't even want to be there you're like you're forcing us to do this now I get kicked with a fucking ball I don't even want to be here you're forcing us to just like

make us play soccer I don't want to play soccer it's like if you forced me to bake I'd get smoked I would get smoked and we all just got to know these things baking

making the bed if we had a I'd get smoked if we had a just got to know these things. Baking, making the bed. If we had a nag off, you'd be at an advantage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you had a nag off, Colin would be like, I don't like this. Can I be captain? And they all go, ugh. Sure, fucking Captain Colin. Definitely Colin earned being captain of the NAG-OFF.

If it was a competition to see who won't let things go. You know what I mean? And then you're like, can I be the captain of the won't let things go team? Yeah. My older brother and I are both gay. My wife is a transgender woman, and my brother would never stop with unsolicited commentary. How can you be a lesbian if she used to be a guy so

this is i am confused about the whole it is a very confusing thing this is a lesbian girl and she's married and uh her older brother so she's a lesbian older brother's gay this woman is married to a transgender woman so it used to be a guy Used to be a guy So it's two Yeah okay And then her brother Who's also gay Is like

Yeah but I mean You're sucking a dick A little like straight of you right That is You call that gay That is pretty straight Yeah so she's calling you straight Calling the girl straight

Yeah And then But She's like no I'm dating a woman Well Well this is That's the Going back to the one That's always You're lying one or the other It's like Two people, I'm dating a woman. Well, that's the one that's always,

you're lying one or the other. It's like two people that are together and you go, hey, we're gay. And the two girls, they're like, we're both lesbians, right? I hate men. I like girls. And then the girl goes, I'm transitioning to a man and we're also staying together.

It's like, so is she not a man or did you lie about hating men? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. One of them, you're lying about one of them. Yeah, it all confuses me. Seems like this stuff has some flexibility. Yeah, it's like them you're lying about one of them yeah it all confuses me seems like this stuff has some flexibility

yeah it's like if you're at a glory hole and someone sticks a cock in there and you're just like no no I'm a lesbian oh so am I yeah I know

you go hey I'm also a lesbian is there a woman or a man attached to this penis it's important well first of all

I don't believe in gender I wonder if there's ever like two trans guys that like there were men then they transition well first of all I don't believe in gender I wonder if there's ever like two trans guys that like there were men then they transition into women and they're like hey we're two lesbians so it's like you know and they're like fucking each other in the ass

and stuff like that yeah for sure there's gotta be 100% yeah there has to be that right there was this comic I saw from Seattle was talking about I think I don't know

which way she was going it was she would whatever it was they were going it was either a guy turning into a woman or she was a woman

she was one of those she was I don't know you know sometimes this is like a dad trying to explain this shit now all I know is just trying not to get fired

now this this person was trans but I can't remember where they were in it dad trying to explain this shit. All I know is... Just trying not to get fired. This person was trans, but I can't remember where they were in it. I think it was a woman turning into a guy, but it was like she still looked more like a woman. You met this person? Yeah. And you don't even know? I can't remember. It was like one of these Brooklyn things. But then she was

saying that her husband turns out that after four years of marriage, they both realized they were both trans so they were both transing the opposite way but they were staying together and then so there was a point where they were both

in the middle well I think one of them probably started to do it probably and the other one's like well I'm doing it too oh yeah I love

he goes can I have everything yeah it's like it's like Sunday football you know like the hot ball one day your girl just like I've always loved football

no you haven't you've not been trans this whole time but also like yeah your girl just like I've always loved football no you haven't you've not been trans this whole time but also like the tricks like I'm transitioning to a man and the guy's like well I'm not gay

so I guess I'll be a woman yeah because I really want to be straight I still love people and I love you but you're my parent but I'm not gay so I guess I'll be a woman

it was the guy I'm sure it was the guy who was transitioning into a woman and then he was going to all these like trans meetings and having all this trans community was transitioning into a woman and then he was going to all these like trans meetings and having all this

trans community and she was left out and then one day he just looked around and she was sitting there going, guess who's also trans? And he's like...

And he honestly just was like, I just fucking need to get away from her. Yeah. Like he does like the full where he goes, I'm just going to be trans just to get some

fucking alone time. And do some shit where you're not invited this whole trans movement is just a bunch of dudes who want to get away from their wives and they just put on wigs

and they go this is worth it this is fine I'm not cutting off my dick we get parking closer to the in the mall trans parking

trans parking yeah yeah and they just tagging along. And he goes, yeah. The fucking, you know, I'm a fucking, yeah, I'm trans now. And you go, I've been trans for the last five years.

I've been doing it slow. You know, I put on a bit of nail polish. That was the start of it. I did that five years ago. I was testing the waters. I'd love to see what they're doing now, that little couple. That's just wild. That's wild. That the odds of you probably they're how did you notice i shaved back to where they started i mean you notice i shaved my beard and you go yeah i go that's that

was the start of me transitioning but what are the odds of both of them both of them are trans what are the odds of do you finding your soulmate getting married and then they go i've got some news well i got some i'll give you both on three one two three i'm trans what what are more unlikely that or the fucking guys who wrote uh the matrix the brothers both becoming trans yeah yeah i think that two trans brothers you're like no that makes more sense because you go maybe there is something like biologically that you know what i mean well it's like it's like like they have the same dna so it's like yeah if they have if they both like apparently there is a thing where you know siblings are more likely to be gay or whatever maybe yeah yeah i know as i was saying that i was like yeah yeah yeah you know there is a thing so that actually you do fucking that makes more sense

trans seems like yeah running the family well their mother has a broken person but there is no like genetic marker for being gay like you can't sequence you can't sequence your genetics and be like oh you have the gay gene so in terms of the biology it's like the trans because people obviously say nature versus nurture and then you're like but no there's not there's not a gay gene well maybe they just haven't found it there is there is an imbalance they haven't looked in the right spot there's a mental g there's something going on dude because you know there's like the thing where uh there is what what is it maybe down syndrome where you can like if you're pregnant or whatever like early on they can say like you're gonna have a child yeah down syndrome yeah i know my friends friends found

out and they had an abortion they're like we, we don't want to, which is essentially eugenics, right? Yeah. That is essentially eugenics, but, you know, so what they're going to, I mean, they've had this discussion, obviously,

so they're going to be like, hey, your kid's going to be gay. You can't, people are going to be like, well, they can't isolate the gene yet, but they're looking for it.

I think they'd be adding the gene, like parents in New York having a kid and be like, we got bad news. He's not going to be gay and you go is it possible to sprinkle some of that on there

that's the CRISPR stuff where they will be able to you'll be able to I think they can make a designer gay kid it's not 100% accurate yet but they can predict it by a certain time

of whenever you get whatever like certain hormones flood in it's like a timing in the womb? in the womb there's a timing

that whenever like estrogen goes in to the guy or testosterone goes in to the womb in the womb there's a timing that whenever like estrogen goes into the guy or testosterone goes into the female that they can predict it by like 70 or something that's what i read really i do read a lot of this yeah yeah whoa but what about trans stuff no this book was before trans people existed this is old school that's when they were just gays and straights the good old days in my day it was only i've been saying about abortion like the jokes about everyone's like like yeah it's obviously not like the ideal situation to be going to the abortion clinic with your chick

and you know ideal situation is she just goes and doesn't tell you about it like not my business it's like yeah you want the guy shouldn't talk about abortion. It's like, yeah, fair, but we also shouldn't hear about it. Just get it done, bitch. We're not allowed to vote on it, but we're also, don't be looking for some money now. Just get it done. So she didn't like that.

And then they go, you cannot say the community is welcoming if you ignore your privilege to cause and cause harm to others. Learned about intersectionality. So this is, you you know you're racist or whatever kind of thing um these basically all these things you sort of get your moment where they care about you and then if you like got if you don't comply with all the other things properly you're back the fuck out um they go i wish cis gay men would stop having biggest critiques of rupaul's Race. So this is where it's starting

to be the night of fucking gay anymore. Imagine being so cooked. I'm not kidding. Imagine being so cooked as a lesbian where you go, I don't think gay men should be allowed to critique RuPaul's Drag Race.

They always have the biggest critiques. He goes, their comments are inherently anti-fat and do not encourage a diversity of experiences. So they don't like their critiques because when they're watching the fashion show. Very valid. You're watching the fashion show very valid but they're watching you're watching rupaul's drag

race and you're like i'm not into diversity of experience well they're like that guy's fat or or the you know maybe they're saying that yeah because the a lot of gay guys will watch drag race and be like that's not a good drag queen because she's you know really fat i like that gay men haven't like like just bought into this body positivity RuPaul definitely they're just like absolutely not you're a fat pig get off my stage

if anything they're being more men than straight men because we're being pussies right now going oh I guess yeah you're right the girl looks like a planet

gay men rule according to this list gay men are the best I love them it does sort of make you think gay men fucking kick ass fucking awesome

just showing up fucking calling people fat. I mean, they're just... They're saying, no, no. They just are untouchable. They're like, they're just in this kind of... They were. Now they're on the chopping block.

Now they're on the chopping block. And he's just like, yeah, fucking a trans doesn't make you gay. Sorry, dude. I've had a couple of... I've heard multiple queer people say it's harder for gay men. No, we deal with all the problems of being female along with also being gay. So that's the second one that they made that same point. You know what?

A lot of the problems of being female stem from their characteristics. So you actually don't have most of the female problems. A female problem is having to deal with her boyfriend and stuff. That's a really good point. Plus also every lesbian I know is like, they're good. You know what I mean?

They're just like, they're not getting bogged down by that female shit. Yeah. Some lesbians are like high drama, but it depends on the one. I know what you mean. There are some that just chill. They're like, yeah, they just want to have a fucking whiskey on the rocks. Yeah. There is a lot of cool lesbians.

I'm talking about like nearly like four comedians that I know. Yeah. I'm thinking of a few comics as you're talking about it. I was like, yeah, they rule, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, they rule. And actually, their comedy's really good. But you are right. A lot of the problems they don't have

because they don't have like, oh, I want to find, I need to find like a boyfriend or husband. I need to fucking, whatever, have a kid maybe. Some of them don't want to do that stuff. So there is a lot of the problems. The dating with men.

My boyfriend keeps leaving a wet towel on the bed. It's like, no, what is your no, you're not dealing with that stuff. So you're very right. So they go, it's not really gay men's place to decide that misogyny is trivial and write us off like that. So they don't like the gay men.

Basically, it's like they're saying we're the biggest victims in the world. Yeah, they're just straight jockeying for position. They're jockeying. Victim position. I don't like it when they think they can say dyke, like, yeah, you're gay too, but that word specifically describes a person

from two marginally communities, gay and woman. So gay men are out there. The crazy, the women who believe that they're minorities for being women is one of the most insane delusions. It's incredible. You're like, you're more than 50%

of the global population. Well, they gave a quick test. So this is, you're a literal majority and they're like, we're a minority. I know,

but you put us together. We don't need to get much done. So it feels like, I mean, look at our accomplishments. Yeah, it does. So they did,

this is one more they did. And this is, this is on our favorite reddit the dating strategies female dating strategy they're basically like pick up artists

just cause you don't know they're like incel-y pick up artist-y but they're women trying to get men and what's it just be alive we want to have them

on the podcast it's so easy to get a man I don't know it is a good point yeah just be alive and even them yeah they're like all men are scum they have super high standards they're they're

literally like you know guys we know who are kind of like you know don't have a lot going for them are like kind of not that attractive and they're like i deserve a supermodel who's rich and you're like no you don't and the fact that they don't get it they think they're like oh they're just women are scum. And, you know, these women are that. Well, someone has figured out how to test for misogyny. So I don't know if Colin

would pass this test. As the computer blows up. That's the end of the part. The siren goes up. You got a score out of 100. Yeah. 200. I've never,

this guy's off the charts. They said, so this is a quick test for misogyny for ladies. This is how you tell. So she thinks she's sort of cracked the case. She goes,

so what you do is you compliment a woman and then watch for his reaction. So they go, hi ladies. Early vetting. A quick way to dismiss Dismiss unsuitable candidates

Is checking for misogyny Without fail A man who has a poor opinion Of women in any circumstance Will not make a good Romantic partner Often they are bitter Resentful

Spiteful And only dating women So they have access To a personal punching bag So is that This is like what they think though They go yeah Like men just date women

Just because they need someone To just fucking punch. That's insane. That's insane. This is the world that they make it out as if. Yeah, yeah. Well, these are like what I said with the whole. That's exactly.

Well, this is like the boogeyman, bogeyman, whatever the fuck. But like, they're like, oh, everything that's bad is the patriarchy. It's all the time. Punch him back. Yeah. I would love a punch him back,

but it's quite the opposite. Yeah, you're like, ah, the fuck is it you're bitter you're resentful you're spiteful and you're only dating women the only reason so you can come home and you go fucking live in this piece of shit i'm gay by the way yeah you fat fucking cunt i'm gay also yeah i suck it off john on the way here so that's okay don't worry about it. No, no, no, no. Oh, no, no, no. You didn't realize. Did you just call that woman a fat cunt? No, no, I'm gay.

I was sucking up, John. Oh, that's okay. Hey, stop hitting that woman. No, I'm gay. Oh, sorry. Okay. I probably deserved it. You keep it down.

It's for you. Thanks. Domestic. It's a dude telling the cops. I'm gay. Just got bashed in some girl. Oh, no, it telling the cops I'm here Just got bashed In some girl Oh no It's good

I'm here He goes If he's a massage So this is what you do The test It's very simple You compliment a woman Mention how smart

Brave Strong Capable They list them a lot So this is the test So you're on a date Your first date And then you just

You drop this You have a compliment For some girl and you go, you know, you mentioned how smart, brave, strong, capable, funny, sharp, and witty a woman is. And then just wait. They go, if he's a misogynistic pig, he won't miss the opportunity to correct your observations. What a pig.

He can't. You're watching him. That's a sweatshirt. He'll either have a rebuttal, a sarcasm, or plain disbelief. He's biting his lip. Yeah, he goes, that was really funny, huh? And you're like, um... Susan's so strong.

Janice is probably the bravest woman that ever lived, huh? That bartender was so fucking funny, smart, cool, probably strongest person at this bar. Yo, Jerry, no. And you're just like, your instinct is to be like, based on what? And she goes, what? What did you say?

You go, sorry, I misheard you. What did you say? Get the fuck out of here, you misogynistic piece of shit. How dare you not agree with everything I just said. She wants it to be like this. She'll be like, well, I was hanging out with my sister yesterday, and she was like, she helped me carry in the groceries. She's so fucking strong.

And then you're kind of like, I mean, yeah, anyone could probably carry in groceries. And she goes, busted, pal. Check, please. This was a test. We've got a camera there. We've got a camera there. Guess what, pal? This was a test we've got a camera there we've got a camera there guess what pal this was a test

and you just failed yeah that's what she said she's so and also it is one of those things too it's like

where they go it's because you're always like girls are always up to shit right because the girls ask you questions they'll be like this person's so awesome remember this guy he was so because you're always like, girls are always up to shit, right? Because the girls ask you questions. They'll be like, this person's so awesome. Remember this guy?

He was so cool. You're like, what are you doing? You're always up to something. It's like, suspicions confirmed. Here you go. It was a test. And I was like,

hey, well, guess what? I'm testing you to see if you're going to try to put me through fucking gay ass tests because I don't want a girl who plays this game. You can't test me. I was testing you.

I mean, I was testing you. Well, I know you were testing me. That's why I brought up the testing you if you're almost well I know you were testing me that's why I brought up the test if you're almost any guy and you're on a first date and the chick pulls this off right away and then she

you're like it's actually great best case scenario you're like we didn't even get through a full date before I learned you were a complete lunatic yeah

it's so fun he goes is this what I ever fuck you is this what date two what are you gonna be like I'm just constantly on tests well imagine yeah like

you're like wow thank you for fucking doing this right away yeah my friend Sarah is the bravest Well imagine yeah like you're like wow thank you for fucking doing this right away. Yeah my friend Sarah is the bravest woman I know. And you're like what did she do? Why?

And you go she goes why? Yeah yeah. Sorry. Yeah just the fact you just like would like some clarification. Just right in your face.

Flip the table. Sorry misogynist table one. Watch out girls. No there you go. My friend Sarah just finished her first semester of her

sociology degree she must be the most brilliant woman in the universe yeah and you go yeah pretty hard degree

semester here's the thing about the test is I wouldn't get caught on the test but I would but I would have like a

when they say I'd have a big that's what you might get I wouldn't get caught on the test but but i would but i would have like uh when they say i'd have a big that's what you i wouldn't say anything but i'm just like there's also one a big eye there's also one major what's an eye roll she has to go back and reply so this guy eye rolled what does that mean no i think they did uh say that in the eye roll because they go you'll either this misogynistic pig he won't admit an opportunity to correct your observations with either a rebuttal sarcasm or plain disbelief yeah there's one the guy is being fucking he can't fathom he goes my he goes my sister is the smartest woman in the world and you're just like yeah the guy dropping his knife before the man he's about to he's about yeah

there's a major deficiency Of this test though And it's how How hot are you And how badly does the guy Want to have sex with you Absolutely Because if

If you're like smoking hot And he wants to fuck you You're like He's not challenging anything He's going to go along With every single thing She's going to Oh he's funny and brave

He goes Yeah And then And then you get in there once And then she's like Yeah she's so funny He's like what Like why

And then like You're not going to learn Really You're in You're on a date You're interested You then she's like, yeah, she's so funny. He's like, what? Like, why? And then like, you're not going to learn really. You're on a date. You're interested. It's like, oh, so my friend Sarah is fucking so great. I think it goes

United States Marine, your friend Susan. And you're just like, oh yeah. It's like Jocko Willink, Susan. And you're like, oh great, yeah, tell me about Susan.

How do you know her? And she's like, well, you know, she lifts the groceries. Wait, what? Wait, don't you, it's just one person? It's just one, okay. Oh, okay. Oh what wait don't you it's just one person it's just one okay

oh okay oh you don't think lifting 15 pounds is impressive I don't know if that's really bravery inspiring in the way that I know

but like but it'd be the same reaction if she said like my friend Dave is brave and you're like what does he do and then you're like

yeah exactly but you should do it the other way around where you're testing them and you go yeah my buddy fucking Toby is so fucking sick

he's probably the sickest guy in the world what did he do and you go okay well someone just got busted for it oh I didn't realize

I was on a date with a misinterest like imagine that you're like dude my fucking buddy is probably the smartest dude in the world he can roll the sickest blunts

he's basically an astronaut. And they go, I mean, anyone can roll blunts. You go, oh, hey, boys. All right, boys, turn the cameras off. We got it. We got the moment. Yeah, but it's before us. It's like, lesbian.

She's a lesbian. All right, we got a lesbo. I suspect she's a lesbo. Yeah, dude, my boy. You don't even know how fucking sick he is. He's probably the coolest guy that ever lived. He's got a knife collection. She goes, I don't know if knife collection is the coolest.

You go, we've got a lesbo. Yeah, so I just got to ring the boys, let them know you're a lesbo. Yeah, no, sorry, sorry. This is crazy that people have, like, a test. Well, even crazier is that every person probably commenting on it's like holy shit what a good time i think the real takeaway though is that just like they're just everybody's the same kind of like you know every like all these women think they're like oh this is just stuff guys do like guys are like this incel-y nonsense you're like no there's

an equal amount of girls who are crazy like this too right yeah but also i imagine there's gonna be a lot of girls who bring this up in like like on a date and they go so my friend sarah you know uh found the iphone charger the other day and then you're like and then you she's expecting you to be misogynistic you're like well i hope that mediocrity uh impresses you and then she's laughing next you know you're fucking her she's like damn it, he made me laugh with the test. That would suck with one of these because you're right,

if any girl said that, you know, you would be kind of like, You'd make a joke out of it straight away. I would be teasing her for the rest of the night going,

oh, oh, look, oh, someone's using a knife and fork. Brave. Write it down.

Oh yeah, you know what I mean? Should we call the United States and try to get these guys a Patriots pin for their bravery?

He must be training with Sarah and Mensa Just bullies You would be bugging them for sure if the girl Ever said that thing that's the thing though Because it is it's one of those things where the girl Is kind of look in the mirror and they tell themselves All the things they're going to tell to get themselves hyped Up and then they go in the real world and they're just getting

Yeah This might work on an incel, you're right. But you're kind of stupid if you're on this thing, reading this thing, right? That's true. I don't know if I should tell this, but I knew a guy who lived with Russell Brand, and he met this journalist that she was fucking interviewing him, and she's like, what do you think of Russell? I don't get why all the women love him.

He's this misogynist or whatever. He doesn't work for me and all this type of stuff love him he's like this misogynist or whatever like he doesn't work for me and all this type of stuff and he's like yeah yeah whatever and then there's like the next day he's just like he's like in the kitchen

and she just walks out of his room yeah yeah yeah she's just walking out it was like it was literally like yeah of course just like oh no he's a piece of shit

I don't know who falls for that type of shit and next thing you know she's just walking out it's like you have a movie yeah she comes out she's wearing his shirt and shit and you're like she's like so that'll be in the papers on thing you know she's just walking down it's like you have a movie she comes out she's wearing his shirt and shit

and you're like so that'll be in the papers on Wednesday and Russell's like what was her name again what well it was that she was alright

that's so funny I love it well I go yeah so if he's a misogynistic pig this is the kind of example that she says woman

so yesterday I was helping my sister do X, Y, Z, and she didn't even need my help. She's so strong. Misogynistic man would say something like, really? I mean, that's not that big of a deal. Or, why did she ask you for your help if she's so strong?

I would fucking love... Because that's the most reasonable... But the funny thing is, that question is the most logical thing. Yeah, it's logical. Well, that's the problem. These women hate the logic, right? You need to be illogical. They don't want you questioning any of their shit.

A misogynist will point out the obvious flaw in your story. Well, why didn't... She goes, my sister's the strongest man in the... She's the strongest woman in the world. I went to help her the other day and it turns out she didn't need my help. I was like, so why did she call you for help? So you went over to her house. She's like, hey, do you mind coming over to my house?

I've got to carry over some things. And then you get there. It's just two things. She goes, actually, I don't even need you. I got myself. And you're not even pissed that she wasted your time? You're like, fuck, you're so strong. Holy shit.

And you're like, you're not mad that she wasted your day? She's like, no, I holy shit and you're like you're not mad that she like wasted your day she's like no I was just begging you she's so strong she's begging you on the phone

please I got two bags of groceries please please come over can you come over on Thursday because I just I'll never get these home

I would love to see the date where this woman goes on a date with like the male version of her where they're both playing their games you know

and she's like women are funny and he's like it's like yeah you know and then she's like women are funny and he's like it's like a chess game and he's like yes women are like he's like a men going their own way guy

yes women are very funny and he's like she's like yeah so I was helping my friend she's the bravest person in the world and the guy's like

yeah my body just doesn't have custody of his kids what do you think of that you know he'd be getting into that stuff he goes yes very brave

almost brave like a father who wants to see his son right? Right? Right? It's like yes women are capable so why do they leave

a half? Why do they take half our money all the time? Yeah yeah He goes Yeah yeah I think they are very capable of earning

their own shit. Yeah women don't need men so what about this stuff? They'll tell you what they think that a normal man would say. So the misogynistic man says, really? That's not that big of a deal. Why does she ask you for help? She's so strong. A normal man, like a good...

Normal. This is what they say a normal man would say. Oh, that's nice of you. She's really lucky to have you. Do you remember? They want straight yes men. They don't want you to be like a lobotomized... lucky they want straight yes men they don't want like they want you to be like a lobotomizer why would so the thing is her thing didn't even add up though because it goes so yesterday i was helping my sister and she didn't need my help because she's so strong and then a normal man says she's lucky to have you you did fuck off yeah so the moral

of the story was like yeah i mean you're awesome if at any time he says you're great not misogynistic isn't that crazy oh that's nice of you she's lucky to have you it's like you go what do you mean uh she's the i'm lucky to have her if you heard the story she's the bravest woman alive and the strongest she just won a strongman competition she asked me to come over and help her lift some weights and then when i got there She had them lifted already She goes Hey would you help me lift weights And then you come over He goes Turns out I don't need you

She's just She's just fucking doing curls No need for a spot No Can you She might come into my house And spot me While I'm just gonna lift

Some fucking weights You get there She goes I'm actually good See yourself out You're so brave She's so fucking brave And she lives

half hour away yeah I love her but then when this lie comes out let's say he just goes wow she's so lucky

to have you and then like you meet Sarah someday and then you're like you realize that she can't do whatever horseshit

that they fucking Yeah that's the other thing you go what was this whole lie about your sister being the strongest person in the world yeah it's like

she couldn't open a fucking jar of pickles yeah she's sitting there going I'm the weakest person ever and you go yeah your sister's been telling me that you were legitimately fucking Hulk Hogan

and she goes yeah I thought you were gonna be like massive yeah I thought you were trans I didn't know what was going on and also this should just be called like

hey how to bang us because they're sort of giving their g-codes like of how much but these are like probably like the most unfuckable people like wait a minute

these aren't like dude nobody we know is posting and reading female dating the only person you're getting is just some like bitch this you know like a creepy you know the fucking uh like you know college kid guy that's like yeah your your sister sounds so fucking strong yeah oh my god i hope to meet her one day this i hope some of her strength rubs off on me. I hope to one day be as strong as a woman. Yeah, this is crazy. Then she goes, yeah, the last thing she goes, this isn't exhaustive,

but my general observation is with misogynistic men, they may fiend interest in you because they want to bed you, but they won't be as savvy as nice to other women. So that's when their mask slips. So now you have to be nice to other women too. Hey, guess what?

You don't know much about guys because if they really want to fuck you, they'll figure out pretty quickly. But also there's a flaw in her thing too because a lot of women would really not like that. My ex wouldn't love that if I was like,

oh, that bartender was so smart and brave. She'd be like, well, you on a date with me talking about how great your sex is oh your friend's yeah you think you can get a photo with me and the bartender on the way out I just want to get a photo with her if she goes oh my sister's so smart and brave and hot and everything I go your sister sounds so sexy

she sounds phenomenal and your sister sounds like the fucking genius but there's no way to even like really answer that without seeming like you're lying like you know like to agree and then you're like you're like wait you don't disagree with anything i say ever no you have to say you just straight up just everything i say you go yeah like you're a yes man you're like why are you just saying yes to everything i say yo hey i got a question would you mind if i just heard that story again it was so good i didn't really get enough the first time around.

I didn't get a second round. Do you have like maybe an extended version? Were there some details you maybe left out? Yeah. Okay. So funny. Boys, this has been the episode of The Boys Cast featuring Colm Tyrell. Colm, tell them where to find you. You can follow me on YouTube.

YouTube forward slash Colm Tyrell. Head over over hit subscribe Wizard of Pod the Wizard of Pod to be changed name soon enough are you going to change the name Column's podcast is great though

check it out yeah oh thanks so if you what are you changing it to just probably like something simple Column Terrell time show podcast

gay queer hour Column Terrell time show podcast just Column Terrell show podcast show time hour something like that

I'll fix something and follow him at at column Tyrell across all social media yeah funny on Twitter and and column is going to join us on

the patreon for at least most of this episode for the high value for the high value mails patreon dot com slash the boys cast this weekend we're in

Phoenix still a few tickets left for Toronto on December 16th. And leave us a review on iTunes. Subscribe to the Patreon. Alright, fellas, peace! Peace!