The Boyscast with Ryan Long - I CAN'T HAVE SEX BECAUSE OF CLIMATE CHANGE ft/ Paul Thompson

Episode Date: December 24, 2021

Paul Thompson is one of our best friends and one of the funniest comics in the world. We go over Demi Lovato singing to ghosts, Small Dicks Are All The Rage, White House vaccine songs, Reddit witch legal spells and climate change. Watch Ep 1 of his new series here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZFolCjRY4s Instagram @paulthompsoncomedy Ryan @ryanlongcomedy Danny @dannyjokes Support the sponsors at: butcherbox.com/boyscast DoorDash app - Promocode BOYSCAST LEAVE US A FIVE STAR REVIEW! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And you can tell our friends, and they can have my things when we're dead But we don't end forever, but we don't end forever Welcome to the BoyzCast Toronto Edition With the fellas, Toronto legend Paul Thompson in the building Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom The T-Dot With the fellas, the fellas, you know what's making me laugh actually is that If, you know, like institutes, like the Hoover you know what that's making me laugh actually is that if you know

like institutes like the Hoover Institute and all that stuff when you're in the thing they call it like the high up you get called a fellow so you look at people's things

it says senior fellow at the institute yeah yeah yeah it's like the masonry fellows fellows fellows how good is that though fellows fellows I don't know if you know

I've been working on the institute and I've just got promoted to fellow. Yeah, I'm a fellow now. So yeah, you're junior fellow and then when you get promoted to senior fellow. Is there anything above a senior fellow? Senior fellow is probably the highest.

Is there a president? I have to say to like, yeah, a guy that you just met who's like pretty cool and he's like coming in with an opinion and you're like, he's a junior fellow. Like he's like, you know what I mean? We're kind of starting to, we're starting to catch on to this guy.

He's not quite in the squad yet. He's one of the fellows? I wouldn't say he's one of the fellows. I don't quite say he's one of the fellows. Yeah, but he's a junior fellow for sure. He's for sure a junior fellow. Okay, the first thing we got to talk about, just because,

honest to God, probably 7,000 people fucking sent in. I got that so much. Because we've been following sort of the Demi Lovato struggle. And basically, so she got out of politics.

She quit her job in politics and now she's finding ghosts and stuff like that. She was in politics? She was really into telling people. What do you mean? You didn't know that

that's how Trump got out as Demi Lovato. Okay, I didn't know. She just basically just put it out there that he was orange and stuff. I'm not a politics guy. You guys will know.

She got the word out there that Trump's orange, and that sort of caught on. But she's sort of done with her politics. She's done her job. She's done her job. She's a ghost hunting now. Okay, so she was sort of the one that took him down, eh? I wondered who did it. I wondered who did it, because he was pretty big.

He was Teflon before Demi fucking got out there with her opinions. Yeah, he was kind of getting some fucking heat for a little bit there. Some major. You know, he was starting to get his name out there, you know? He was. He was on the come up until Demi Lovato. Yeah, and then it was Demi. Right, right, right.

But so basically, so every like few months, or every few weeks, there's a new clip for a show. But the whole thing is she's like out there hunting for aliens and stuff like that. That's the whole thing. And then her new thing is so Demi Lovato sings to ghosts to help it overcome trauma. Yeah.

So basically, Unidentified with Demi Lovato sings to ghosts to help it overcome trauma. Yeah. So basically, unidentified with Demi Lovato claims to show that the popular singer-songwriter has had an interaction with a ghost named Carmen who tells Demi Lovato but the trauma has been caused by men.

So the ghost sort of... How do they know the ghost's name? Tells her. And the other thing is... Oh, so the ghost... Because I watched it and the ghost is talking to her but it's only through like crackles in the radio they have crackles in the radio

she goes is your name cheryl nothing she can sort of interpret they have a system that beeps every time. Basically, it's like anytime she went quiet, this thing went, and she went, this is the fucking craziest shit I've ever seen. It really does seem like the crew playing a prank on her. It's literally like make an app because there is ghost-talking apps and shit, but basically it's like the way that app works is like when everything goes quiet, give it a second, and then start beeping, right? So you're like in there, and you're like, oh, we got to be like, is there, are we being joined right now? Beep, beep, now bb bb bb bb okay he's in the building i mean it's a fucking tv show there's literally a pa

and they go okay so your job is whenever she has a question you press the button to make that's literally what it is like someone's job was that day was yo but the best thing was she came with two gay guys like clearly gay guys but then she's like is it because there's men in the room that's what she said yeah she was happy beep beep beep beep beep she's like you guys gotta get out and they're like

say no more say no more but they're right outside the room like listening fucking little rascal style like he he he what's going on in there it's like a ghost

is like aren't they kind of like everywhere and then the ghost is like yeah if they could just leave this room and go into the next room

she asked the two men she asked that she asked that the two men leave the room. And then she asked the ghost, did you not want to say anything? Cause those guys are in here. So she said, maybe,

maybe, maybe it's just the girls. No, Kyle, you can fucking just the girls in the cameras. And then she goes, the funniest thing is too, where I was like,

this is how I know, like, I'm not ready for the, but you sent me the articles and I was like, all right, yeah, I'll look that one up. And like maybe three seconds into last night at 3am in the morning, reading the Demi Lov the articles and I was like, all right, yeah, I'll look that one up. And like,

maybe three seconds into last night at 3 a.m. in the morning reading the Demi Lovato thing, I go, didn't she have nude servicing at one point? She had nudes kicking around? That's what I remember.

She's a big girl now, man. That would take up a lot of hard drive space, that one. I immediately looked around but like fucking badonk on her.

You were like, the haircut's loving the badonk. She's a big girl. She literally has the same haircut as Theo Vaughn. I love it. Well,

she sort of does the thing too. It's one thing if you're going to be like, okay, I'm going to put on 150 pounds and like get gross and do the whole thing. It's like,

and then also, it's like, what's the least attractive haircut I could also add to this mix? It really wants to polish off the job. It's really like, she's really giving it to men. You know what I mean?

Like, yeah, you want to fuck me? Yeah, with this haircut? I didn't think. She's really giving it to men. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, you want to fuck me? Yeah, with this haircut? I didn't think so. She is giving it to men. So basically the ghosts were telling her all this sort of stuff. She was kind of like, I'm not a ghost right now.

What did they say? I was like, yeah, they've been just telling me that men fucking suck and the future's female. Well, she was at a brothel. So it's like all these women who used to be prostitutes, I guess. Is that what it was? Yeah, it was in an old brothel. But there was only one. All of them found new ghost pimps actually there's only there's only one you just hear the other guys in the other room and they go so uh how much for they're negotiating she's

like talking to the one they're like negotiating with the other ones she's like and she's being honest i'm getting something right now. His name's Brad. He's asking, what if I just wanted to get drunk? No, no, no. I'll say for him. I'll say for him. Never mind. I didn't hear that.

She's actually just getting all these. 160 seems like a lot for a handjob is what I'm getting right now. All the PAs are fucking in the negotiations so they can MacGruber-style fuck the ghost. Dude, she goes, she goes, later the American star helped Carmen heal with a song. So she's saying to Carmen, as weird as it sounds,

the ghost liked Demi Lovato's performance and even offered a standing O. Oh yeah, she was like, that was my first standing O. Or she goes, that was my best standing O. A one-person standing O.

Before she did the song too, she goes, she said it like she standing oh but the one person standing oh before she did the song too she goes she said it like she's done it before she goes a lot of the time when like i'm gonna sing a song like this this is kind of like my favorite like did you see when she sang the song she goes she was like this is a lot of the time like one of my go-to's and shit and it's just like she also just had like this huge heroin and like meth problem and stuff like that so it's basically her being like yeah like this isn't my first time like singing to nobody so usually this is my go-to when i'm just like singing in an empty room to uh things that nobody can see but me um yeah this song is amazing grace also she starts to pretend like she's like they're like uh sing a song it's like

no no i don't and okay like like it took her one second to turn around be like i don't want to end she murdered it though. She got a standing up. I just love the idea of standing in a room and everyone's talking. You go, can you just, I'm getting a standing over right now from, from one ghost.

Also like an ex prostitute ghost from the 1800s. I also thought that she would get like maybe 30, maybe 20, 30 seconds, sing a little song, but it's like, she did a three and a half minute song. To the ghost?

So it's like for the PAs and everybody involved in that, they're like, all right, she's going to sing now. And then it's like two minutes in, they're like, this is for real, huh? All right, yeah, no, she's still. Being a ghost sucks. Yeah, yeah, you have Demi Lovato singing to you. You get summoned.

I was like, I was trying to sleep. What are you doing in my old brothel? I have to live here now because the rules of being a ghost is I can't just like go to fucking Maui. I have to be at this random brothel that I have to live here now because the rules of being a ghost is I can't just go to fucking Maui. I have to be at this random brothel that I died in. Yeah, I'm trying to redeem myself from the one guy that treated me wrong. Undercut me from a handjob

in 1943. And everyone's like, luckily I got a song about it. Yeah. Amazing. How are the ghosts liking it? They're loving it, but they don't like the fact that you're here, so you've got to hit the bricks.

Say no more. Say no more. Yeah, because those dudes, they were both gay, so they're kind of like, oh, yeah, yeah, men are terrible. No, what it is is two guys outside of the room, two just straight-up PA, rig pig type dudes, just out there having a smoke. And then the one guy looks at the other guy and goes, yeah, I know.

He goes, yeah, whatever. It's double scale. He goes, I still would. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. Even the ghost was like, I mean, yeah, you know. He was talking about it. She's got a badonk.

They were talking about the ghost. Paul said he saw the funniest thread. It was like a Reddit thread. And it was what do girls do better than men? And it was kind of going viral, but right? It was like, it was basically,

well, you sent me a Reddit thing. It was a big list of like, okay, here's all the things that girls do better than men or whatever, but they were struggling hard to come up with them. I could pull up number one right here.

Yeah, what was a couple? I'll give you the top three. And during the ravages of long-term space flight, women lose muscle mass slower than men. There are video examples of female astronauts walking after re-entry when their male crew members have been carried

due to muscle atrophy. So women are literally better astronauts? Well, they're better at returning to the world. That's such a specific... That's what he's saying. The one was like they can float a little better. So they're better astronauts? They're like, no, no, no. That's not what specific... That's what he's saying. The one was like, they can float a little better. So they're better astronauts? They're like, no, no, no.

No, no, no. That's not what we're saying. We're saying that if a woman was shot in a space in some sort of thing accidentally... No, so basically what they're saying is just like women come back down to the real world way quicker, right? When she's like, you know,

and you were cheating and this, and it was my brother, and it was this. It's like, maybe you're just hungry. Here's some pizza and then she's like yeah I'm sorry I was just

you know what I mean they come back down long distance cold water outdoor swimming that's a big win for the girls you know what I want to say I do feel like every time

you see something on the news where it's like someone crossed the English channel or whatever it is a chick almost it is a chick or like a woman swam across the East River

and then the number three is better color actuity. Their sense of color is better. For example, one in 13 men are colorblind, whereas one in 250 women are colorblind. So less women are colorblind. That's a huge win for girls.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's an interesting story. Well, it also just goes to say... Because they're like, what, I can't be... So you're saying that we're not as funny? And you go, you have lots of good things. You're probably not colorblind. You're not colorblind either, so you're saying that we're not as funny? And you go, you have lots of good things.

You're probably not colorblind. You're not colorblind either, but you have a better chance of being colorblind. Yeah. Can you see what this is? What color is that? Red. Yeah.

So you didn't see the light. So why'd you do nine minutes? Explain that to me if you can see colors so well. Because we were lighting you back there. You were bombing. But there's sort of other big news for Danny.y i don't know other people at home know this but vice vice came out with this huge article and it was like sort of popping out there

and basically the premise is why tiny dicks might come back in fashion oh yeah loving that you both were loving that i was i was like fuck so i'm getting out then i said i said danny and and fucking Paul are gonna love this That's bad news for myself obviously I'm gonna enjoy my time until the tiny dicks come back With the hogs Confirmatively But like the thing I was thinking about too with it is like just

Okay What guy obviously and they're like yeah No some girls actually really do like you know They're like research shows that obviously girls like bigger dicks better but like also like it doesn't show that guys like bigger dicks better so you know what i mean that was like that was a big part of it like yeah what guy's gonna hop in and be like yeah my day i think you'll have some gay guys well this is what it was but just started it was like so the ideal penis size has grown and shrunk throughout history i i will even before that i always always like, my favorite part about all this stuff

is like the guy who's writing the article. Yeah, yeah. Essentially. You know it's a guy. No, my favorite. It is. I looked it up.

So basically, yeah, you have some dude that's like, what is his wife's like? What are you working on? It's just like a, basically a big piece about how chicks actually,

this is only the one weird time in history where girls don't like fucking tiny pieces. If I was born in any other time in history, I would be a god. They have statues dedicated to me.

Yeah, but they were saying, yeah, they were like back in the Greek days. Hold on, I'm going to go through it. And basically, well, that's what they're saying. And the Greeks also, it is sort of the thing with the way that the Greeks operated. It's like, they sort of did the thing that South Park did where they go, listen, like it's actually average is four

and then you go bring your wife and you listen, like it's actually average is four. And then you go bring your wife and you go, so I'm actually kind of packing. And then you act embarrassed about it. Like, oh, my fucking fucking massive five inch. I hate being so different. Would I even be welcome, you know, this fucking fat hog? I don't know. Because you could do that back then.

Like nowadays with porn and stuff, every sort of girl basically knows what the deal is with average. If anything, they're sort of the opposite where they think big pythons are more at common than they are right right, especially in fucking the ones with me Before you actually could the boys could get together and then make some statues with small digs And you sort of bring your girl over and you know no not me But regardless, I'm not obviously trying to fucking get sensitive but it's like as a non-visible minority like you know that shit obviously like gets on my fucking nerves what does being a non-visible minority because average size is five inches obviously i'm way above that you know what i mean but i don't have my dick out all the time so it's just yeah non-visible minority uh obviously i go through a lot of things that people don't you know

but they said several studies indicate the average woman who has sex with men may prefer a larger and average penis. So this guy, that's the part Paul was talking about where basically he was like, he did some research and after doing all this research, he said there's some, some indication that girls are cool with it. Guys,

it's yet to be seen, but whatever. He said girls like big dogs. And he goes, but there's been far less research on the type of penises Men who have sex With men prefer So they're not really sure He's been doing the research

Of like going to the bathhouse Yeah I can guarantee you Yeah gay guys are like It's like after multiple taste tests Danny what have you found That they like the small one Or don't like the big one I just like the tasty ones

Those are my favorite The ones with the taste the best That's so He goes Yeah so we did some research First of all Gay dudes are all like pride themselves and I'm the size kings essentially.

For sure. I cannot imagine there's any scenario where they go, yeah, girls have like bigger ones. He goes, but gay guys, we actually, trust me, the research is inconclusive. There's no way to find that. Maybe the first time. Like if you're like, this is the first time me being gay,

maybe the guy goes, flump. You go, let me start something smaller. No, but gay gay guys aren't just gay guys aren't going to do that to the boys i'm nine inch nigel and i don't know i don't know personally i don't know what guys are looking for you know no it's this the guy this is a guy that goes there's a guy in the thing he goes one guy pulls out a 12 inch and then he goes you know what that might be a little little big for me the first time and he's in the corner with his research paper he And then he goes, you know what? That might be a little big for me the first time. And he's in the corner with his research paper.

Who's this guy? He runs out. He goes, don't mind me. I'm just doing some university research. Say no more. For my study.

It's also one of these articles too. It's like, all of these jobs is insane where you keep referencing things. They go, you know, who's an expert on penile fucking sizes or whatever.

Dude, my favorite line from this was the dude goes, he goes, the preference forile fucking sizes or whatever. My favorite line from this was, the dude goes, he goes, the preference for petite penises runs back to at least the 8th century BCE as is reflected in statuary of the era, noted Timothy McNiven,

an associate professor at Ohio State University who has studied antique penile depictions and continues straight through most classical Greek art and literature. That's funny having that on your hinge profile too. What do you do? Petite penile depictions and continues straight through most classical Greek art and literature. That's funny having that on your hinge profile. Well, also, it's like petite fucking

What do you do? Petite penile expert. If a girl tells you, yeah, you got a small dick, you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're just chirping. But if your girl is like,

yeah, my boyfriend has a petite dick, like, I'll fucking kill myself. I'm a fucking petite dick. Like, you know what I mean? Petite dick.

Yeah, petite dick. When it gets hard, it's all right. You know what I mean? But he's pretty petite. Like, get the fuck out. That guy's like the ultimate turning his passion into his profession, you know yeah petite dick when it gets hard it's all right you know what i mean but he's pretty petite like get the fuck that guy's like the ultimate turning his passion into his profession you know he's just like fucking the guy's like i just love dicks well no he's sort of that but he's also he's dedicated his whole life to sort of getting it out there that's actually pretty

sick having a small one that's kind of his it's been his life's work he was basically making himself the senior fellow of expert dick experts so you go on the if you go is there anyone in the world that knows dicks more about dicks than this guy then they go well since we've all accepted that i'm the expert now let's talk about size it's actually better to be tiny way better small like this guy had a 15 year plan it wasn't he says it's just starting to fucking pan out you have to respect the move also a little bit. Forever back in Columbus, we should look this guy up.

He goes, the enduring, that'd be a good guy to have on the podcast. The fucking dick expert. He's like a classical dick expert. Yeah, he's like,

he's like very, like he's gonna, you know, he's like a professor and probably go into his office and he has like all the dolls. They all have dicks. Like it's just like,

you know, 50 statues. They all have different dicks. Like it's all just like. Yeah, cause obviously like in porn, a lot of these guys have big dicks. it's just like you know 50 statues they all have different dicks like it's all just like yeah cause obviously like in porn a lot of these guys have big dicks

ah yeah obviously my studies are all pre-industrial revolutions so I'm not really a modern dick studier you know what I mean

but obviously yeah back in the day things got a little wonky in the new era but it'll all go back to the yeah most of that is pills and pumps

and stuff like that I would assume but I haven't done research on that the enduring sense of a man's worth may be measured by his length and girth, but on average, for men who on average have five to six inch penises, it allows those people to feel woefully inadequate, it says.

You know, not like me. I was shamed personally for having my dick dragging on the floor, denting the heart with it. I think you're talking about your balls, Ryan. My balls. You're ashamed for your massive balls. They don't really talk on the floor, denting the highway. I think you're talking about your balls, Ryan. My balls are... You're ashamed for your massive balls. They don't really talk about the balls, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What were they doing in fucking shaming people?

Like, what was the hierarchy of balls? Is there a ball guy? Yeah, that's a thing. Do you think him at Ohio State is like his arch nemesis is the ball historian? He goes, he's just a penis historian. He goes, I do the balls. I'm the ball historian.

He's like, where's the sperm kept? In the balls? The girl's super disappointed too. You said you were eight inches. I measured the balls. He says the tiniest dick, but eight inch balls. What was I supposed to measure? The ball fraternity bullying the dick fraternity.

They come back, they fucking, they're vandalizing their thing. Small dick losers, the petite, petite losers. But the other thing I was thinking about too where it's like,

if you have truly like a one inch dick after it gets hard, it's one inch. Yeah, micro's tough. You should, it's fine.

You should be able to qualify dead serious for like disability. Like you don't have to tell people but like you can't work you haven't been working in a while if anything you need to work you need to go make that much more money to even the playing field dude if you're a one incher and you're just

making disability yeah well look what's the point I don't even like what do I have to work for I'm sure if you take all the like the point? I don't even, like, what do I have to work for? No, you fucking literally, I'm sure if you take all the, like, the billionaires, like, they're disproportionately on small penises. Yeah, some guys rise up above. Whereas, like, guys like me that don't have a billion dollars, I have to be back in.

That's what you say to girls on a date. They go, Elon Musk, you go, if you actually think about it, they're all billionaires. You're going to cover that, right? What, the bill? You're like, yeah, yeah, I'm broke. I'm broke i'm broke you know what i mean what i'm not fucking overcompensating for anything i don't make any money well that was the article we like we were sort of uh talking about that was going around

where's the trans woman that's going turning into the that turned into the guy that did a whole bit on like her getting her new dick and all that stuff and they are making them pretty good right now it's like okay well why doesn't every guy with a one inch or just be like, okay, well I'm trans from guy to more guy. Give me a fucking nice piece. They take it off your leg though, which is weird.

I'm actually, you have like a crater in your quad. Yeah, it's not. And this person that did it, they basically, uh, the article is incredible because on the thing it's like,

uh, she goes, yeah. And when I found out the size of my fucking hog that they were giving me, I started sobbing. Yeah. When I found out my penis was going to be so large, I started sobbing.

You and me too, pal. When the fucking Danny was born and his dad saw his penis, he started sobbing too. Was there a mix-up in the maternity ward? I like that you're just going back and forth if he was small dick maybe he's Paul

maybe he's Danny. We're too immature for this article it's not possible. I'm obviously in transition right now and it's like you Brandon

you're becoming a girl? No no no no no because you've been a guy your whole life yeah I'm still a guy I'm just transitioning from smaller dick to hung.

Do you think the surgeon does he charge by the inch? Is he trying to upsell? She's like, five's fine because I want to keep most of my leg. And he's like, I don't know. He brings in guys with five inchers. He goes, I want to kill myself. He has all the tears out there. You know what I mean?

Again, if you want to go with that basic five package, that's cool. If that's what you're making. You know what I mean? Yeah, if you want to go with the bronze package, that's fine. So you're not interested in pro or expert at all. You know what I mean? You're cool with just getting hard once a month? All right, basic package it is.

Yeah, no, honestly, you know what? And then the guy goes, you know what? I changed my mind. I'm going to get the bigger one. He goes, no, you know what? You made your decision. It's fine. You can survive the basic package.

Well, he goes, no, I changed it. I do want the bigger one. He goes, yeah, well, the price just went up on that. The deal no longer applies. So that's going to be more expensive. The doctor, when you're kind of like Heming and Han, who walks by, and he looks at me to help him out, like to help out. He goes, yeah.

He comes in here. He fucking just has like a giant dick print. He goes, I used to be a woman, too, just like you. And the guy comes over. He goes, a couple of them. Yo, Terry, Terry, come in, Terry, come in here. Terry, come in here. No, he takes a phone call.

Terry over here works here, but he's also a client. He takes a phone call. He goes, oh, yeah. So you just got the 4-inch and you weren't happy with it? Oh, all right. Well, there's no refunds, but that's you forever. Anyways, what were you saying about the 5-1 you wanted? Someone did it on YouTube. Well, we're going to talk about the article later. Yeah, no, I's no refunds, but that's you forever. Anyways, what were you saying about the five one you wanted? Someone did have those.

Maybe not you too. In the article. Well, we're going to talk about the article later. Yeah, maybe. No, I don't think so. Whatever. Anyways. That article is too gross.

The article was like, 90% of that article literally was like. It's like a scientific thing. I was bleeding everywhere. And it's just like. Yeah, it is a lot. And then there it was. It's gruesome.

My period. Yeah. And how like, but there was like some other trans man who got one and then the and like you know had this huge chunk of the leg taken out

and the body just rejected it yeah so you now you don't have your leg and the dick well you're missing and then but then that person

was like round two let's do it again yeah I didn't hear no bell I didn't hear no bell give me another dick so you're oh the dick surgery didn't take,

so I guess you won't have a dick. And he goes, hey, doctor. I didn't hear no bell. I didn't hear no bell. He's just fucking on the ground. He's just hooked up to all these pipes because he almost lost all his blood because of the dick. Hit me again.

Hit me again. Hit me. Getting the biggest dicks and you need blood transfusions constantly just to have enough blood to make a boner. That is tough though. You're just there.

Your wife's like, where have you been? He's like, yeah, I was getting my ninth dick injury. The dick injury's not taking. Again. Again. This one's going to take.

I can feel it. That stinks. But that's why I was doing this joke on stage but there was this dude who got a dick enlargement and then he died during the enlargement. So it's like, these doing this joke on stage, but there was this dude who got a dick enlargement and then he died during the enlargement. So it's like, these things, you gotta really want the piece because that's the

other thing the doctor should be saying. He's like, listen, there's a chance you die during the surgery. You wanna die for a four? You wanna die for a four piece? Yeah, if it's the same risk. If you're gonna die, you might as well go for a fucking hog. Do you think it's like, you know, the body dysmorphia with the plastic surgery?

You know, like people, like girl gets breast implants and they like keep going back and back to get them bigger. Like it's where he has to be like, like someone's like, I want, he goes, nobody's ever got that. You can't. She goes, give me the dick, doctor. I'm going to go to someone who will. The guy who wants the tattoo on the eye.

Exactly. He goes, you give it to me or I'm going to go to fucking Tijuana. Yeah, he slips him a piece of paper of what inches he wants. He goes, how much inches he wants. He slips it over. He goes, you give it to me or I'm going to go to fucking Tijuana. Yeah, he slips him a piece of paper of what inches he wants. He goes, how much inches he wants. He slips it over. He goes, 14. He goes, no dick.

No one's made a dick like this and lived to tell the tale. It's not even regulation. The CDC is going to be all over my ass. I'm going to make one of these puppies. Or the doctor doesn't want any. He never wants to put in a dick that's bigger than his. That's another thing, too. You know what I mean?

We were thinking six and a half. He's like, six and a half. I mean, that's bigger than his that's another thing you know what i mean where they're like i mean we were thinking six and a half he's like six and a half i mean that's just gonna kill somebody you don't really need six and a half i don't know what he was waiting to get that big i don't i don't really know what you're gonna do hilarious but what do you actually want yeah what did you actually want that would be funny if you want yeah i mean i then i'm an accessory to crime because of all the vaginas you'd be ruining but i don't want to go to jail as an accessory to crime because of all the vaginas you'd be ruining, but I don't want to go to jail as an accessory. So he goes, this is the ancient Greeks.

This is what they sort of say. So it may be shocking to learn that the ancient Greeks, the astanable progenitor, so this guy likes his big words when he's talking about dicks, of Western cultural and aesthetic value,

abhorred big dicks. So he's like, this is the kind of stuff he's talking about. Abhorred? Abhorred. How do you pronounce it? It's. Abhorred big dicks. So he's like, this is the kind of stuff he's telling... Abhorred is what? Abhorred. How do you pronounce it? It's like abhorred? Abhorred, yeah, yeah.

But he just goes, abhorred of big dicks. He's telling his wife, like, you don't even know they hated them. She goes, his wife's like, yeah, I sort of like a big dick. He goes, that's so strange because for all of human history, they've been the most hated thing. The only reason they probably hated them is because they always made these statues

out of marble and like what's the easiest thing to snap off than a fucking long cock? Do you think that oh you think one of the Dude, everybody was making these big cock fucking statues

That's not what they're saying. People were coming up to them and they were like It was like the original taking the BMW sign off. Exactly. Well yeah, they were ripping noses off of those

and shit too. Yeah, they were and noses off of those and shit too. Yeah, maybe that's what it is. Well, the noses would fall off, but I'm just like, you have a huge fucking rod on there. That's your theory. Snap that thing off, no problem. My theory is horrible. And they're like marble. It's like someone's spent a year making one of these things.

Mine's like marble too. Yeah, so then when they're getting your statue done and stuff like that, you want it to do that hog, like long, hard, eight inches like it usually is. And you're like, look, then they'll just deface it. We got to make it so they like those ones sit on the balls. You can't even really snap it off.

This guy's theory is his theory is the proper and beautiful penis is dainty. He goes, that's always what a girl wants. How do you write this article? He goes, an ancient erotic art scholar of the worldview, a human with a very large genitalia, especially the male genitalia, is considered to be grotesque and even laughable.

So he's saying, the girl's like laughing at your dick. You go, it's not that big. It's pretty dainty. This guy John Clark's out there. John Clark is saying amazing things. This is in one sentence. He goes, the perfect penis is a dainty one. And having a big dick is grotesque and laughable.

You've heard girls say that though, right? Yeah, yeah. My boyfriend's got a fucking solid dude. Makes a lot of money. Drives a truck. Dainty hog. Like just a fucking man's man. He's got a dainty piece of meat.

Yeah. Dainty fucking hog just swinging around in there. He's a man's man. You know. He's a Ford. He's a Ford driver. What's he packing? It's a dainty piece. It's a man's man. You know. He's a Ford driver. What's he packing? It's a dainty piece.

It's a dainty fucking piece. He's been doing a lot of research to prove this to his chick. Oh, for sure. Look at this article, this wife chick. This is written by you. No, this isn't even part of an article.

This is like an X. This is like a... This guy... Someone broke up with him over this and he's had an ax to grind about this for probably a century. For sure. The preference for petite penises

runs back to at least the 8th century BCE as it's reflected in statues of the area. And so, yeah, they're basically saying they propose that one of the reasons is because they like balance or whatever. So he's saying, oh, it's actually more balanced whereas a nice big... mean dude if michelangelo like you walk in there and

fucking whatever florence and he's just got this like it would be like i think if you saw the statue of david if it was just fucking pumped and he just had like i just a hammer well they would be like weird maybe it's like because they're so straight like I just the less dick the better that I have to touch it is funny because the hands are huge on it

they make the they make the hands massive they like Statue of David now has like something an attachment so that his arm stays in peace

because it was like people came through and ripped off the arms ripped off this so it's like if there was a huge hog sticking out like guaranteed

that's the first thing oh it's gone no chance some guy's just there with his family and just like but dude you're bringing like kids to a gallery like imagine that was a huge hog sticking out. Like, guaranteed, that's the first thing. Oh, it's gone. No chance. Some guy's just there with his family and it's just like... But, dude, you're bringing, like, kids to a gallery. Like, imagine that was a thing

and then, like, all these kids are walking around the gallery. Like, they probably, like, in current sensibilities, have to, like, cover it. Well, all this stuff is basically... It belongs in, like, a gay museum. It's that, right?

Like, even that, even the jobs. Like, this guy, his job is... This is the one we were talking about before, but it is a fucking associate professor and he studies, so his whole thing is he studies penile depictions. That's his whole deal, right?

And you're not gay? Come on. That's so good. You can't have that job and be straight. You better be the professor in the building. Really good job working from home, too. His wife's coming in coming to matisse she's like you coming to bed anytime soon he's just zooming in on the fucking just staring at a fucking get out of here we're gonna be working late i'll be coming to bed later and he's just staring at a soft dick he said yeah soft one well the greeks valued the aesthetics because because they said it's about balance and nothing

should be too big or out of balance. So that's another thing if you're a small D out there and you take the girl home and she's like, oh, it's not that big. You go, pretty balanced. Fairly balanced body, right? How would you describe your dick size? Balanced as shit, dude.

It's a perfect balance. You see me. And then picture a very balanced piece. It's a perfect balance. You see me. And then picture a very balanced piece. It's also possible that the Greeks may have been reflecting a culturally ingrained and acceptable eroticism

of young men. So the other thing that they were proposing is that like also there's a lot of like pedophiles. Oh, pedophiles. So they're like, they wanted, yeah.

They don't want that gross like adult penis, you know what I mean? Because they had all the bathhouses and all that stuff where they'd bring the kids in and stuff like that. It was the original Epstein's Island with the green chrome baths. Did you send the thing to me where the girl has the disease or whatever

where she looks like she's eight? Yeah, someone else sent that to me too. And she's like the only guys I date are like the creepiest. She has like the Andy Milonakis disease, but she looks eight years old. So it's like, it is true. How could you ever date that girl but she looks 8 years old so it's like it is true though how could you ever date that girl yeah

you bring your girl out she's 8 and you go oh don't worry she's 35 and I was like okay but yeah she looks 8 and you go

but she's not she's not the boys got one under the rug literally every guy she dates is like the worst comb over

like every single one you have to have such a long story about how you met you're like no we've known each other family friends for 25 years wouldn't grow up you know what i mean yeah we've been hooking up since you know we keep getting older they keep staying the same actually you know it's like a benjamin bun situation it is actually the case um some athenian plays, their pop entertainment

clearly articulated the elevation of smaller dicks as evidenced by what they had to play and basically... Yeah, Small Dick the Musical. I've seen that. The name of it

roughly translates to Small Pricks. And it was Aristophanes, the clouds, and then they used big erect dicks for laughs for like the evil music comes down for the big hog. Aristophanes, the clouds, and then they use big erectics for laughs and for the evil music comes down for the big hug.

Aristophanes. This is like an episode of South Park. That's what I'm saying. But this guy is proposing this. Yeah, they had all these plays about how good small dicks are. You never heard that joke? The old Aristophanes joke? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Guy walks into the fucking talent agency. Talent agency says, yeah, it's an audition. Trick is that there actually isn't a job. He actually isn't a real casting agent. Asks her to get naked. He pulls out the piece. She's like, that's not going to do it. He eats her out.

He still gets it done because all that matters is fucking, you know what I mean, how you work it. It's not size. And she goes at the end, wow, I came eight different times. I can't even fucking walk. What do you call that? The Aristophanes. You guys you call that? The Aristophase. You guys never heard that? You guys never heard that bit?

It's an old one. It's a classic. B.C. B.C. It's the world's first joke. It's the world's first joke. It's the world's first joke. The small dick, the musical.

I love the Aristophase. I can't even walk. What do you call that shit? The Aristophase. The Aristophase. Two inches to heaven. I can't even walk. What do you call that shit? The Aristophane. The Aristophane. Two inches to heaven. Every song.

Yeah, it's a musical, too. Look at this guy comes through with his five-incher. Behold my five-inch python. All the girls, you know. But we can still pump, pump, pump, pump. Two inches. but we can still pump pump pump pump two inches do do do do I really want it in me do do

do do do do I said I really want that knee you know there's some guy too who's like the best actor in the world he's like just the absolute best and they go alright

let's see the piece sorry it's too big, man. Well, I'll tell you what they said. That was the last sentence they said. He said there was one period in time where they liked the big hogs.

Yeah. And he said the Romans, basically, they would even give people promotions because of their dick size in the army. So you can't do that anymore,

huh? Yeah, no, no, no. The good old days where someone could just fucking get by

on the size of the hog. Now, that is the piece of a general right there. That's what it is, yeah. He goes, what are no, no. The good old days where someone could just fucking get by on the side of the road. Now, that is the piece of a general right there. That's what it is, yeah. He goes, what are you? He goes, the guy comes in the shower. He goes, oh, what a platoon are you in private or general?

And he goes, I'm a private. He goes, not anymore. Not anymore. Let's make that public. You're a public now. Yeah, yeah. So Paul actually got demoted at his job when he pulled the piece out. Yeah, I did.

Yeah. Until it got hard. And that is actually pretty fucking good. And they're like, actually, that is pretty solid. Yeah. Paul's about to call up a girl and be like, just to prove it. Yeah, yeah. FaceTime.

Tell the boys. Tell the boys. Tell the boys. I'll get my dick in. He goes, well, he's never really gotten it up, actually. Go tell someone else. That was the wrong. I'm talking about when it's hard yeah what about the one time you did see it hard

though for that fucking minute like what about that one time we're talking about hard shit well this is uh so the other one that was sort of the same thing we've been going on about like just they basically the news is sort of really fixed in on climate change is the new thing and they've taken a second off for a mic a monochrome the necronomicon and basically we were in canada it's been a fucking mess dude my mom is about to fucking get peak red pill then she's trying to cancel her family dinner is all your stuff getting canceled yeah things have been getting canceled yeah it wasn't for you you're just like you're like oh it's it's so so awful to hear and you're just like fucking yes i know so grandma rather you not show up no it has it has been like to hear. And you're just like, fucking yes, yes. I know. So grandma,

rather you not show up. No, it has been like nuts and people, dude, they're so, it's like the safeness here, like they could just, the minute we got here, they go,

as of tomorrow, all venues are done. My dad was going to go see the four tenors. They canceled that. So fuck. Yeah, yeah. Everything's been getting canceled.

They're ridiculous. So they're taking a little bit of a break from climate change, but that's been their big push, right? The five things. Every fucking news station right now is just like, yes, you should never leave your garage. You should never leave your house.

New York is surprisingly like, they're not doing anything. Not that they're not doing anything. They had the mask, but like Billy Joel played Madison Square Garden last night. Really? Oh, really? And so they asked de Blasio, and I'm supposed to go see Fish next week at Madison Square Garden, and I'm like, it's getting canceled for sure.

Like, it has to be. And then de Blasio's like, yeah, look, he only has a week left. I guess all of a sudden he's decided to be a reasonable person. Nah, Fish are good. As it kills the Omicron. Oh, yeah, I hope so.

But dude, he's like become a total reasonable guy where he said, yeah, look, like, you know, everybody's inside is vaccinated. And yeah, so just wear your masks and when you're drinking, when you're not drinking, just have a good time. Not here, dude. They're shutting the fuck down. I know, but de Blasio, you would expect to be like, hey, everybody

you need to use your fucking ninth booster and then maybe we'll consider reopening in February. But he has no power after January. He has no power after January. We're 90% vaccinated also. I know. In Ontario. Dude, literally, I looked at the statistics. The amount of people who are caught, whatever, fucking Omnicron or whatever the fuck,

and the vaccination rate are the same. So it's like basically like it does nothing for you catching it. Exactly. It might make it less severe, but actually getting it, nothing. Crazy, eh? Yeah. Well, they're saying that, so there's this whole thing about,

because basically and i feel like guys this gets in their head a little more a little less like there are bitch out bitch dudes out there that are kind of like right now they said uh this is happening and they go oh i'll never leave my house cancel everything like you know a ton of them but i but it's more girls i think that it gets in their heads like this article that's like i can't have sex because of climate change like that's more of a girl thing maybe but i mean also pretty classic move that like i've pulled back in the day where just like you know i mean something's happening i can't get hard and rather than me being like yeah i don't know i'm not hard you remember of course i said

yeah you're like tortured artist guys no you have to listen to this one no but i'm like dude there was one back in the day where it was like fucking i remember i told you you, and like I just like fucking, a bunch of shit was going on. Paul has some really good ones when he can't get it up. A bunch of shit was going on that like I really didn't want to talk about because like I was dealing with some like fucking stressful shit that like I didn't want to tell her about. But like, and it's like nothing like to be like bragging about, like dealing with, you know? And then I like, yeah, I couldn't get hard.

And she was like, what happened? I was like, look, like I don't even want to get it. All right, well, basically, long story short uh i used to sell a lot of drugs back in the day and uh one of the guys who i used to deal with he just went to jail and like now like i don't know if i'm getting pinched and i'm gonna go to jail for fucking good i might be looking at 15 to 20 years but anyway yeah that's why I'm not getting hired right now. You told this girl you'd go to jail for 20 years. That's why you can't get hired.

I said I might. But until I know, until like my lawyer hits me up, you know what I mean? Until my lawyer hits me up or the blue chew comes. Well, that's his new one. So I sent,

because you can't get blue chew here, right? So I got a bunch of blue chew and I sent in an unmarked package to Canada, right? I sent him his medicine. I sent him the mother load too. And then it got lost in the mail. And he actually was pretty stressed out about it. He was nice.

He's texting me three times a day. He's not stressed out about it. The fucking postal carrier's wife is getting fucking railed. I swear to God, I know. And JJ told me he was like, I was stressed out. I told the one, two person. I was like, yeah, the mother load came through. Well, because he kept calling it the mother load. It was the mother load.

I sent him like literally $200 worth of the fucking hot dog shit. So I was like, yeah, we're good to go. You know what I mean? And then fucking, what's it called? JJ told me, he's like, yeah, I heard what happened. Danny was laughing about it. And I remember I was like, Danny was laughing about it. Please.

Please. I don't recall. I wouldn't laugh at something I would laugh about. It's like, Danny was laughing about it. Please. Please. I don't recall. I wouldn't laugh at something I would laugh about. It's like, if there's something funny about this, I would love to know. No, that's not true. That's not funny. He says he wasn't laughing. But I was like, I was outraged.

And I was like, on the phone. Maybe there was a joke that was made like around it. But I'm not like, oh, that's funny. Okay, apology accepted. Apology. You didn't get your package? That's hilarious. But I mean, I was on the phone with like fucking like Canada Post.

I was on the phone with like everybody like Canada Post. I was on the phone with like everybody. He showed up there. He's about to fucking go postal on them. He's just with a weapon. He goes, look at this dick.

Look at it. There's nothing. I feel nothing. Where is my box? Well, that's not what I was going to do. But like, I didn't think about a game plan

before. I just was like, fuck this. I'm getting on the phone. I just like hop on the phone. I was like, I have a package that was so to show up blah blah like all right sir yeah sorry calm down we'll get so what was in the package and I was like they're like what was in the package I'm like uh it's like pictures and uh it was like literally the first thing I could think of I was like pictures they're like okay I was like obviously

sentimental can't be replaced. So pretty important that you get it. Definitely don't open them and touch them. Yeah, and then it shows up. Actually, no. Yeah, the package just showed up right now. It seems like a lot of candy. And you're like, yeah.

Yeah, well, yeah. The candy has pictures on it. Wait, so you did get it? It came? No. I never got it. I never got it. So he didn't get it.

Do I look like a guy that fucking got it do i look like i fucking relieved that stress and then paul paul he had this this was the fucking uh back in the day i said because it's not the first time i send him stuff so a while ago i sent him and he told the girl he couldn't get it up with the chick and then he said to her he goes yeah because i oh you don you what is the thing you basically said you what because i was freaking out about the package and then she heard because i was with a girl at the time and i was like this is fucking but when he was like i got a message from them saying the package is supposed to be there and i was like oh clicking my heels i was like i'll be right back

you go we can hang out tonight we don't have to keep postponing and then i go and it's like nowhere to be seen and then like i'm just freaking out likeoning. And then I go and it's like nowhere to be seen. And then like, I'm just freaking out. Like it's a whole ordeal. And she's like, what was in the package? And I was just like, I need it. I need, where the fuck is the package? She's like, what was in the package? And I was like, uh, yeah.

So my, do you think it was a border? This is even better than the original. I was like, I was like, my friend's dad has this back pain that he goes through and medication cause fucking Canada, uh, we can't get the proper back pain medication so me i was just trying to fucking help him out and the only place that you can get it from is florida so i paid all this fucking money to get his shit from florida not for me not for me just to help my fucking friend's dad but hey you know what i mean i guess that's what god's trying to show me you try and help somebody and then fucking so anyways i'll just finger you yeah it's all the same you know what i mean but like honestly i'm just so stressed like i probably won't even be able to get hard because now all i can think

about is how i was trying to help my friend's dad with his back pain and that illegal medication his dad is back pain he tried to get a medication my friend's dad my friend's dad not my dad my buddy's dad is back from him. That's why I can't get hired. Did they say it was delivered? They said it was delivered. So Porch Pirate got it. Porch Pirate got it.

Oh, dude. Porch Pirate's fucking... They have all these Amazon packages and these hard cocks. Dude, the Porch Pirate's going to have a fucking treat. You know what I mean? Hopefully Porch Pirate's like, what is all this candy? I don't know. The six one, they're gross.

And then he's fucking just walking around. Oh, yeah. For the next two weeks, every girl I saw limping. I was like, who fucked you? Where is he? Where is he? You got that blue chew walk going on. We're going to take a quick break here to tell you about Butcher Box.

It's a box. Me and Danny have been in this. We're going to get Paul the code. Paul's going to be a fucking ButcherBox now, too. I fucking love ButcherBox. Yeah, yeah. Me and Danny have a man supply of meat. Dude, I still haven't even, I've put a, maybe 50% of them.

And he's been eating, too. I'm like a steak a week guy right now. I've been eating. I've been sort of getting through them, but meal prepping can be difficult. ButcherBox makes it easy. ButcherBox is a subscription service that takes the guesswork out of finding

high quality meat. Their sourcing decisions are made holistically, keeping the farmer, the planet, the animal, and your family in mind. It's a nice piece of product

if you're having a barbecue, if you're having a party, whatever, if you're having just people over or if it's just for you. It looks cool too. It's got like a classy look. The box comes refrigerated, essentially.

Like they have a whole system. Freezed right. Yeah, they have a whole system to keep the meat closed. Yeah. No antibiotics or added hormones. Each box contains between 8 to 14 pounds of meat. We've made this joke 14 times. Paul's pants contain 1 to 2 milligrams of meat.

Jokes we've made a few times in this ad rate. Depending on the box you choose, that's enough for 24 individual meals. So for a limited time, ButcherBox is offering new members a great deal for the new year. Sign up at ButcherBox.com slash BoyzCast and you'll receive the ultimate new year's bundle in your first box so this is a new year's deal and the deal includes ground beef chicken thighs and pork butt that's more than seven pounds of meat added to your first box for free so every time we do these you know every time we do these butcher box sponsors they add different deals so even if you already got it if you want to update it for this one it's a different deal get this new year's bundle before it's gone by going to butcherbox.com slash boys cast and second we got to tell you about a new

sponsor that the boys cast is a big fan of and this is door dash uh for me order food for danny they do not order male prostitutes so that's been a problem that's been a problem for you trying to order the things but i'm a big fan i'm a a problem. That's been a problem for you trying to order the things. But I'm a big fan. I'm a big food orderer. If you're a busy person, you want to just, you know, it's a very simple app, and they're partnered with all sorts of different places. You know, maybe you've got meetings, errands to run, chores to take care of.

What's the secret to clearing your to-do list? Why not free yourself up of an extra hour or two a day? Let DoorDash help you help yourself. You can get dinner, household essentials, and everything on your grocery list. So if you're making something and you're missing one little thing and you don't want to go out to the grocery store while you're cooking, you can just have that one thing delivered as well. What do you want to eat tonight?

Maybe you want home-cooked favorite. Or maybe you don't feel like going to the store. You want something exciting new. But it would be great to stay in tonight. DoorDash connects you with everything you want, whenever and however you want it. So get what you want to eat right now and right to the door with DoorDash. Along with the other restaurants you love, you can now get groceries and essential items delivered with DoorDash.

Get drinks, snacks, other household items in under an hour. Ice cream, random stuff, Popeyes for people for paul uh chipotle cheesecake factory remember we were hitting on the girl at popeyes oh yeah the girl we after we finished the show once me and paul were both hitting on the girl at popeyes a few five three years ago or whatever it was and we're saying how funny it would be me to show up at the corner the next day with the popeyes girl girls. You met. What was her name? Indian chick. What was her name? I was like, you met Priya, right?

Who? Popeye's girls? Is that the girl from Popeye's? Is that the girl from Popeye's? For a limited time, our listeners can get 25% off and zero delivery fees on their first order of $15 or more. So you can't afford not to do this. When you download the DoorDash app and enter the code BOYSCAST, that's 25% off, up to $10 value,

and zero delivery fees to your first order when you download the DoorDash app at the App Store and enter the promo code BOYSCAST. Don't forget that code, BOYSCAST. 25% off your first order. Once again, cannot afford not to. Subject to change, terms apply. Do you think you can order a cheese dream? i would love a cheese dream from the dash i will definitely inquire if you can't get

cheese dreams all right let's get back into it well this person says the planet's getting hot but that could mean things are getting less steamy in the bedroom and also there's this is the same thing as the other one like you saw that article that was the guy that goes he's can't he goes i'm canceling my birthday party because of omicron or whatever right and they just released this he does this it's all so self-congratulatory it's like they're all just they if you go oh i'm just doing my part it's like okay then why are you writing all these articles and posting it everywhere because it's like no they they've these people have baked their entire identity around like look at all the fucking nice things i did and this guy goes

you know last year i just really want to have a birthday i even tweeted last year that i hope i have a birthday a year from now and then finally it came and i don't think it i just not the right thing to do so i have canceled my party and i think that everyone should do the same and it's just like it's like shut up also you're a grown man. It's 40. It's like, who gives a fucking birthday party? Like most people do it or don't. It's the,

it's the biggest self, my favorite to like self congratulatory thing too. This is a big girl. One is girls going on Facebook and being like, as you guys know, my birthday is January 4th this year. I don't want it to be about me. If you want to do anything,

I'm just asking for donations to the women's shelter. And I always make a point to like, Oh yeah, it was her birthday two days ago. I'll double check. And I'm like, you got seven bucks. Hey,

you got seven bucks for the woman's shelter. Did they call up and they were like, Hey yo, uh, yeah, Shannon's birthday just passed. We got $7 here for the battered women's shelter. What do you guys,

what do you guys think we should be, uh, doing with that seven bucks to save the dogs you know what i mean seven dollars is going to where is the humane society because shannon but also too like then you'll see that girl fucking rip out and have a fucking three day long birthday weekend right where you're like oh but i thought it was seven dollars for a humane society right seven so if you really wanted to do that how about no shot saturday night everybody that wants to buy you a shot we'll just put it to where it's for Humane Society, right? So if you really wanted to do that, how about No Shot Saturday night? Everybody that wants to buy you a shot,

we'll just put it to where it's Humane Society. How's that sound? And it's like, wow. I mean, you know, kind of like, you know. Some worry about the environment, the cost of having children, while others feel guilty about the condoms polluting the ocean.

So you're sort of damned if you do fuck, you're damned if you don't fuck. Dental damned if you do, dental damned if you don't. That is also funny, though. So you're sort of damned if you do fuck, you're damned if you don't fuck. Dental damned if you do, dental damned if you don't. That is also funny though. So basically they're like, you can't have sex because of all the climate change. And it's like,

what if we have kids or whatever? And he's like, well, wear a condom, but then the condom is going to go in the ocean. That's what you're sort of saying. Literally it's like, again,

like if you're so concerned about this, kill yourself and turn yourself into fertilizer. It really is the ultimate. I guess so, yeah. That is the ultimate. You're honestly just kill yourself. Well, if you, if is the ultimate I guess so yeah that is the ultimate you're honestly just kill yourself

well you if you believe this much where you're like I can't have sex I can't do anything I can't have kids like one less consumer one less polluter

like just kill yourself no you should watch like I mean me personally like I've never like worn a condom obviously to protect the environment but I've also never

I've also never eaten pussy without a dental dam obviously you know what I mean because safety is important of course so like yeah me like I'm always

just the type of guy that I'm like I only go raw like I'm never fucking without a condom but if you do want me to go down on you like yes

I do have to use a dental dam just to like make sure like teeth and shit are you gonna put a condom on it's funny

because in your Instagram bio it says you care about the environment then I'm getting these conflicting symbols right now. Okay.

You know what I mean? So whose turtle are we choking? Mine or one of the ones in the ocean? There's probably a lot of just like kind of really like fucking

environmental people who like the guy is like he does want the abortion but he's like too he doesn't want to be like oh I'm like I don't want to be like

saying I want an abortion but he's like what about the what about the environment? We can't yeah you call the girl and you're like she goes I want to be like saying I want an abortion. But he's like, what about the environment? We can't, yeah. You call the girl and you're like, she goes. He goes, I want to keep the baby.

You know. Can we really bring a baby? You know, and this has nothing to do with my wife. I just think that. I just think this is the environment. I just think this is wrong. Obviously, my girl disagrees, obviously. But you know what I mean? My girl's kind of not as environmental as I am.

Not as environmental as I am, no. She's not eco-friendly, you know? Yeah, really. It's just, you know, and you are my secretary and I'm married, and that would be nice for us to bring this into the environment. Obviously, yeah. We work for the same company. It's mainly an environment situation, though.

You know, how does this help our green movement, you know? The climate crisis has driven people for what people call eco-anxiety and anxiety over the impending demise of the environment. So this is what they said. A 2019 poll reported that almost 38% of Americans aged 18 to 29 believe that couples should consider climate change when deciding to have children.

So it really is like you shouldn't do anything sort of situation is what they're pushing. No, kill yourself. Be scared. How is that not the logical conclusion? It is. You go, well, again,

if you don't want to bring anybody else into the world, the assumption there is that people are bad for the environment, therefore you're bad for the environment. Kill yourself. Increasingly, we're seeing many people choosing not to have children either because of the environmental impact of the world or Because the children may be faced with repercussions. Oh, that's the other thing they like to say they go Well, I could never bring someone into this world that's going to dead end and you know

They won't make it to their 10th birthday. These are also all insane people. Of course. It's the dumbest theory in the world so their pitch is basically the girl is Because when she's having sex she thinks that what if I get pregnant and then that'll be bad for the environment. And then she said, so the thoughts like that make them anxious during sex and leading to low self, uh,

low, lower sexual pleasure. And she says, basically it was like thinking too much during sex. Like, what are you thinking about? It's like how this might be bad for the environment. Yeah.

Yeah. Right. I'm sure mental illness is not good for getting nuts off. And they said, well, 10 billion male latex condoms are manufactured every year. So, and most of these ending condoms. How many 10 billion? 10 billion. 10 billion.

Damn, boys be fucking. In America. So, I think that's, so basically it's like about a billion condoms every landfill or one of our condoms per landfill. One of the boys condoms for landfill i saw the other day on facebook there was a post that was like trojan which i'm like i never see like trojan like promoting but they're like this christmas wrap up something other than the gift and there was a condom fucking like ad on facebook and i was like i saw like 60 000 comments and i go what? I bet. And I checked the comments and like, yeah,

I was right. The first comment, just like, just load her up. Fuck a condom, dude. Like the top five condoms, top five comments.

Like who wears fucking condoms? I was like, I bet you anything. All of these comments. And I was like, yeah, I was right. You're happy with the squad.

I was loving it. Like all the top comments, like we're talking like 4, 000 likes on a comment where they're just like i haven't worn a condom since fucking they basically just retargeted all like barstool sports fans on facebook everybody's like what are you talking about yeah like why was that fucking pitch to me too like know your fucking audience for sure and then the other thing they said is people are they can't have sex because they're worried that their partner

doesn't care about the environment as much as they do that's another reason I feel like every guy's had that fight a bit with their girl where they tell you you know

put the fucking recycling in the other bin even though it's all fake that's the biggest myth perpetuated on the people yeah is what recycling yeah yeah

they all go to the same place big time apparently I don't know what do you think all the Asian people fucking in New York and Toronto

with the cans well it's a scam that's what they get the money you know what's crazy I wonder what the can people here think about the fact

that in New York they have can vending machines here it's like you gotta go fucking you get your bag you go to like that fucking beer store you wait they count everyone there they have literal vending machines. Here, it's like, you gotta go fucking, you get your bag, you go to, like, the fucking beer store,

you wait, they count everyone. There, they have literal vending machines. You pop them in, and they shoot you out of the nickel, yeah. Crazy, but we did the math

one time when we were in Trinity, and we were like, was that you? That was, like, we did, like, the math, and we were like, took some time,

and it's like, you can really do the math, and let's say, like, on a good day, it's like, there's no way that they're making more than 50 to 60 cents

an hour, even grinding. No. What? No, no, no. If a can is five cents, if a can is five cents. I routinely at my house in New York

throw out 30 cans at once and someone goes and grabs them out of the garbage and says it's a buck 50. Okay, sure. But that's not what I'm talking about. That's not what I'm talking about. Like, sure, yeah,

that's how you do it. You look for the fucking big haul, right? Oh, you're saying walking around Bellwoods. When you're walking around Bellwoods and you're like, do you have a can? They walk around, basically in Toronto, the can people walk around and then they go group to group bugging them being like, can we have that can? No, literally you put down a beer for like turnaround. They're other on you.

And they like go grab it. And you're like, no, that's my beer. That beer is five cents, right? Yeah. And when you watch that guy Like spend time Watch the fucking guy No they're not

They're working more than 50 You think they're getting 5 cans an hour Dude I guarantee you Like to make a dollar 10 cans right No 20 20

5 cents a can 20 cans You don't think they make 20 cans an hour Okay so let's say In an ideal world Then you got 40 What's 2 dollars an hour

It's not a great job A lot of them are illegal. First off, none of these people are allowed to work. I understand, but still. A lot of the people, it's a hobby as much as they do it for the love too, right? That's literally what... Get out of the house. The point that I'm making is 110%, you're doing that for the love.

Yeah, there's some factors going on there. You're doing that to feel like, yeah, I grinded somehow. I mean, I contributed to this household too. I bought one thing of ramen noodles. A hundred and ten percent. And help the environment. Maybe that,

I wonder if any of them give two shits about the environment. Like, you're like, you're like, are you environment, like environment? What? My biggest environment fight was always turning lights off.

Cause I always, I'm very like, I, if they're saying, okay, lights bad for the environment, water's bad for the environment. Like, it's just, maybe it's the fucking economist in me but it's like okay whatever you want that

think that externality is price it in and then like no i don't think you're leaving the lights on it's bad for the environment well they say it is it's using energy or like extra water what do you mean earth day is all about like don't we like turn off our fucking lights for an hour yeah but it's like charge me it's like if, hey, this is doing this much damage, charge that extra amount and tax it. Like, whatever you want to figure out, and then I'll operate. But it's not, we're all in the honor system that everyone's just supposed to leave lights on less

and use less water. It's like, no, incentivize people to do whatever you want them to do. The biggest one with the water was, remember when there was the ASL, or what was it? It was the ASL challenge. Remember the challenge? Yeah, I remember the water bucket challenge. The water bucket challenge. So it was basically was it ASL challenge remember the challenge yeah I remember the water bucket challenge

the water bucket challenge so it was basically you had the challenge you put the water on your you pour water on your head and it was something about the environment and yeah

and honestly it's like ALS ALS right ALS challenge what was it for Lou Gehrig's disease so yeah

Lou Gehrig's disease you're raising it and it's like actually kind of like straight up like the numbers were like wow it were like, wow. It was a viral thing. They raised a bunch of money.

It went viral. We raised a whole bunch of money. But just how some people can be such fucking losers that instantly they were just like, you know that some parts of the world, they can't even get water. Now you guys are just pouring it into each other's heads. You know some parts of the world don't have ice or buckets? It literally was that. And then all of a sudden it was just like-

They can't help themselves. It's the same thing. These people, they legitimately can't help themselves it's the same these people they legitimately can't go a day without they can't enjoy one single thing without having to be like

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah who's it is you go I bought a new hat

you go some people can't buy hats and you probably shouldn't be in and out of your house from COVID and then

do you see that guy on climate change something to do with hats do you see that guy on climate change something to do with that did you see that guy on Twitter from Montreal who was making the round buddy he's fucking

literally just taking photos in airports of people without their masks on properly he's ratting everyone out literally by the way

I would just like to say because he was like made this like a race thing and you're like look what do you mean a race thing because he goes he kept

there's a point where he goes yeah it's all white people with their mask off you go yeah because those are the people you took photos i'm like i do i fucking i do we literally how much time do we spend in airports yeah yeah yeah it's like wait you're trying to tell me that this is a white thing well his whole thing is yeah you obviously the answer is like he this guy wouldn't be caught dead like well he's not taking a photo of like a black guy exactly he's not gonna take a photo of a black person being like look at this shaming a black person for not wearing a mask now this was like the nerd of the year did you look at him so he posted him he posted first he

was like uh he goes hey just want to talk to american airlines or whatever it was just for the record that there's people not obeying mass orders and then he goes to the thing he goes i've already talked to the people at the front desk and they said that we're all sort of enforcing it but yet here we are and then he goes I think I'm going to have to refund my ticket because I don't feel comfortable being on a plane and he's like yeah there's a few people and then he's taking photos of people like their nose is poking out

literally it's insane and then like American Airlines tweeted back at him oh we're so sorry what can we do and he's like just make sure people wear their masks properly and he's like it's fucking nuts yeah he's a total psychopath. The only thing that makes me happy is the fact that the guy

for sure has Omicron right now. That's the best. Because he 100% has it. And he's like, but I wore all my masks. Yeah. Dude, when that guy got diagnosed, he's probably,

so he's going to walk into American Airlines and fucking shoot the place up. Yeah, oh, for sure. He's going to be like, people not wearing the masks. And he goes, you know what, it'll be, for sure. He's going to be like, people not wearing the masks. And he goes,

you know what? It'll be, he goes, it's because I didn't do this enough. I wasn't enforcing masks. Yeah, he's saying, yeah, he wasn't, he didn't enforce it enough.

He needs like his suit. He goes, I laughed. Citizen masks. He honestly is like, yeah. I started, but I started too late at the end of Schindler's List.

I fucking could have done more. There's one little girl with a red jacket. I'll tell you a fucking one crazy thing that I've seen at the airport. This is the first time I've seen this in a while. Guy having full out, loud conversation, as loud as

you could possibly imagine. Well, he was taking a shit in the stall. Isn't that crazy? So I'm walking in the bathroom. I just hit a urinal. You know, ka-flump. I hit a urinal. You didn't even have to go. You're just like, I might stop. I just hit a urinal you know ka-flump I hit a urinal like you didn't even have to go you're just like

I might stop I might hit a urinal see where the boys are at so I'm taking a piss and this I hear from the thing and he's like yeah well whatever

if Judy's gonna be there then this and blah blah blah and he's having these like full conversation and literally me and the other people in the thing were looking at each other like, it's crazy, right?

Was there shit noises too? Like, was he like, yeah, it's Judy. He's got the clubs in there. That would be the altar. He's just ripping it. It's crazy. This guy's just tearing ass, making meetings. And he's like, oh, what was that?

That was nothing. That was nothing. Anyway, so are we meeting? That was nothing. Yeah. It's Anyway, so are we meeting? Nothing. Yeah. It's one of the planes taking off. I'm at the airport. You're out loud against.

You're out loud against. That was a 710. Oh, he wasn't ever. So, yeah, I'm thinking that we maybe, you know, I don't know if we would hire him. He did pretty good in the interview, but. He did pretty good in the interview, but he did pretty good in the interview but yeah let's give him a second interview you know let's just touch base and we can circle back to that oh god he's been performing pretty the best the best movie of like

you know the crazy people just like FaceTime in public if he's on a FaceTime he's just like FaceTime like where are you oh no

why's your face so red what what is the light at a restaurant y'all y'all y'all shitting I'm working

or he's like one of those Gary Vee I'm at a restaurant. Y'all shitting, I'm working. Or he's like one of those Gary Vee dudes. Never stop grinding. He goes, never stop. Just because I'm taking a shit right now? Dude, every time you take a shit, that's three to four or five minutes of productivity at key hours. Do you wake up in the middle of the night to take a shit?

No. You're taking shits at times during work. You're taking shits when you need to be fucking productive. I hold my shits in and I have an intern put his hand on my eyes and pull the shit out. I can't waste a second of productivity. That's so good. Go for Tim. Y'all sleeping, I'm working.

Okay, let's hear the listen to the White House song. So this is, we've been following all the COVID the COVID raps oh my god yeah the one you guys had last week was amazing

this one's this is the White House put it out there science did it again get your booster one two three

cause I can sleep like a little kid just like the meat from the rocket ship just like a all you need is a booster. But the reason it's funny is because, you know, their whole thing is kind of like, it's actually so cool, right?

But the black guy that's doing the beatboxing, like these people probably got paid pretty good for this thing. It really looks like the guy is like my fucking boys are gonna murder me on this oh for sure also like how many

so what 340 million people in America how many people's minds did that change that's all that's what I'm saying all it does is antagonize

the people who are getting the booster but they're also branding it as like lame yeah yeah they're just like but who's on the fence and they go

oh this fucking group i've never heard of said to get the boost i guess i'm gonna go get well and the people that are getting it are also like yeah either like well fuck now i regret getting it or they're just like hell yeah you know what i mean then they're like proud of this fucking nerdy shit that's the thing even it's like okay they go rap for the booster i obviously it didn't work but like you're trying to be cool this not a single person thinks this is cool it's like doing improv for the booster someone give me a you know someone give me a word uh you know also again juvenile's like hello yeah he's chopped liver well he doesn't like the juvenile no i love the juvenile i'm just saying

why do they go past like your juvenile's like i did the thing that's what you're saying yeah but this one's so funny because it really does look like the the faces of some of the people in this know that this is a paycheck and then they're kind of like oh yeah you booked this gig and you're like hey what do you have to do is like oh you need is that booster and then they go okay uh where are you uh well just like a little commercial you're gonna run you're like actually it's gonna be on the white house's page and stuff you go oh okay okay i mean yeah it's a like a little commercial you're going to run. You're like, actually, it's going to be on the White House's page and stuff. You go, oh, okay. I mean, yeah. How much is this deal?

It is 1.5 on the scale on the white because it's on the white. No, that's a nice check. That's all it is. Because even then, you don't want heavy exposure doing something like that. The weird thing is too,

so I've been picking up on this in the past like month or two, but like in No Frills right here in Canada, like No Frills is- Grocery store. Yeah, it's like our cheap grocery store, right? So every time I'm in- A lot of comedians have fucking uh bits about no frills doesn't have frills every time i'm in there i've been noticing lately in like the past two months and like i mean this is like every now and then they'll play like regular music but i'm telling you like a good 50

percent they've hired people and to make music about no frills. But the most embarrassing thing is it's sometimes pretty hard rap type thing. And then all of a sudden I'll be like, what the fuck is this? Because I'll hear it and I'll hear rap. What does it sound like? And I'll be like, hold on. And then all of a sudden it'll be like, chocolate chips. Those were only 90 cents. Pick them up.

Pick them up. Because it's no frills. I swear to God. And they'll be'll like had to get some milk and that's only 249 only 249 and it's no frills and it's like really like we're like that's the definition of those guys are like man like yeah i'm getting paid for a verse don't let your husband give you a budget buy what you fucking want no frills i swear to god like if you go into no frills you'll hear

it and it's so weird they're like toilet paper paper towels maybe even some kombucha at no frills you know and they're saying prices 24 36 48 eggs like straight the fuck up though like and they're saying prices they're like 649 that's how much we get eggs for it. No frills. Yeah, it's no frills. And you're like, what the fuck is this? And you can just see everybody shopping. You can just tell people are so fucking zoned out that no one's listening and shit. But I'm like, dude, what? And I know that the guys, you can hear them being like, no frills.

It's what? It's no frills. I know that that guy. Do they have Toronto accents? Is it like a lot? They got Toronto. Dude know that that guy. Do they have like Toronto accents? Like, is it like a lot? They got Toronto. Dude, they literally do. They're like, yo, man's want to run up on the ting.

If the ting only 225, 225 for a chocolate bar. Yo, man's are cool with that. No frills. Like they're using the slang and shit. You know what I mean? Like pretty good deal. Still pretty good deal. Still.

You know what I mean? But like. But me shooting cheese into the cart you know but like you can tell with like those guys or like i promise you that there's like maybe one two guy that i ran up on that diary to lyle there's like probably a one two guy that's cool enough to be like yeah like i'm getting money i'm doing something for no frills which like yo if you're straight up just gonna admit it but i bet you there's a million of those guys who are just like oh when did you want to hang out wednesday no i'll be in the booth actually

i gotta gonna be in the lab yeah i'm getting paid i'm in the lab i'm in the lab i'm in the lab do a feature you know and that's the other thing too like are those guys doing that like a 1 to 3 p.m studio session Or are those guys still like 1 a.m. till 3 a.m.? Hennessy, blunts on deck and shit like that. They're like, yo, let me run that one more time. Can I get some more snare in my headphones? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yo, there was something about the eggs

and that poultry. Ah, yo, it's no frills. What? It's no frills. Yeah, yeah, I'm cool with that. Yeah, that's good. Yo, you think Drake's going to do this? How do we get this to Drake? Yeah, that's the best way to get onto drake's radar

clean up on aisle three as in you're cleaning up with these prices yeah what's drake gonna say where he's just like yo your flow was sick and shit obviously that grocery yo can you spit like that and talk about like asses and weed and shit like that you know what i mean or do you think it was the opposite no frills saw a guy and only raps

about groceries and they go they made him an offer yeah yeah he was trying to get sponsored out of the get go we watch you on this verse

it's all about how much we love to fuck yeah that's sort of the grocery guy can I talk about like cookie dough now what aisle are we fucking in

just to get me into the zone and you go aisle you go yeah yeah cookie dough? Now what aisle are we fucking in? Just to get me into the zone. And you go, aisle, you go, yeah, which aisle of the frills are we in? That's a baker's dozen.

I fucked 12 girls in one day. That's a baker's dozen. Okay. You keep making that. I mean, technically that is a food thing, but. You can't stop rapping.

Yeah, you keep making fucking grocery references. You know what I mean? Just talk about how you like to bang girls. It's pretty easy, man. Migos are on the track. Like, we really don't need it too deep. I like to slam that girl out of the way because she's trying to take the last cheese.

That pussy's so wet. Clean up in aisle six. 10 to 12 items. I'm getting there quick. I got that cold flow like frozen food. I got that cold flow, frozen food. You know what they do? The side thing?

You know what I got that cold flow? Frozen food. Yeah, so. Yeah, shit. And the grocery reps. Yeah, so. Yeah, shit. And the grocery reps. Yeah, the grocery reps. Because when I was back, I've been sort of paying attention to Canadian stuff now.

Me too. I was watching just one thing. I even talked about it last time I was here. Remember with the Asian construction worker? No, what was it? Remember when the girl, the last time I was here, and I was like a commercial for like Bell? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like a woman Asian construction worker and oh yeah yeah like a woman Asian construction worker and you're like look you don't have to do diversity for everything and then I was like watching we're at um like restaurant

last night and every commercial right now in Canada every couple is interracial every single yeah and you're just like this is I guess there's just like it's the easiest way for

them yeah I mean if you're a commercial company like and you're making commercials you like it's an obvious just like it's the easiest way for them yeah I mean if you're a commercial company like and you're making commercials you're like it's an obvious one it's just so easy you go imagine

but you gotta go hey what are we thinking for races you go both white I'm sorry I'm having an off day I fucking

you know what I didn't have my coffee today I don't know what's but like in the US they still have that kind of stuff but they're just like they still make

like they don't go out like they'll be like okay we'll have an Asian couple a whole Asian family or a whole black family here it's like a full like mix

it's just like a Frankenstein like mix and match but here we can never Asian they always they like to do the ones you don't see that much too

where it's like Asian man black woman kind of thing and like the kids don't even match it's like oh yeah the kids they always

have weird kids that mix with them but we'll never we'll never double down on white we're like there will be times where I'll get a callback for a commercial, then I'll get a second callback, and I'll be like,

sick, yo, looks like I'm actually going to book it. And then one of my buddies who's a black guy will call me and be like, yo, I already got booked for the commercial, and they're looking at you to be like, you know, or my buddy that's a white guy will be like, yeah, I got booked for that commercial, and they're looking at you to be the second guy. And I'll be like, all right, well.

If you got booked, I'm not. Yeah, I'll be like, I'm not going to be the second guy. You know what I mean? Obviously. Yeah, for sure. Like if some white guy's already like, yeah, I just booked that. I'll be like all right well i'm not yeah i'll be like i'm not gonna be the second guy you know what i mean like yeah for sure like if like some white guy's already like yeah i just booked that i'll be like okay well yeah so they've cleared that quota yeah that's what that's done yeah well the thing was that was kind of making me laugh so trudeau he basically it was kind of no turtle because of this like the prime minister of canada because of the Like the prime minister of Canada, because of the... Danny gets hyped up, dude.

Turtle. It's like pretty edgy shit. Danny's comedy takes no prisoners, man. No prisoners. Me and JJ Lieberman, no prisoners. Danny's new album's called Let's Go Brandon. Yeah, yeah. Let's go,

let's go trust and trust. But yeah, basically, he said this new thing. He goes, when the Omicron and everything was happening and he was like, he just did this like word salad

and he came out and I just, and there was a new, there's a new like minister or whatever, but there's just this one sentence. He goes, as a minister,

I'd expect you to include and collaborate with the various communities. I expect to seek and incorporate your work, the diverse views of Canadians. This includes, this is the people that he includes that he needs them to look out for. This includes women, indigenous peoples, black and racialized Canadians, newcomers, faith-based communities, persons with disabilities, LGBTQ plus Canadians, and both in official languages. into official languages. So I heard that and it was like,

the funny part to me is always like, it's the intersectional where it essentially leads up to you go everyone but like one very specific straight white man, right? So,

but it's just such a funny thing. So I actually did some of the math where I looked at it and you go, okay, so if you were trying to do this math and you go,

well, what percentage of the population is that, right? How you would do it is you would go, so for example, women is 50%, right? So now you're down to 50% and then you go, well, what percentage of the population is that, right? How you would do it is you would go, so for example, women is 50%, right? So now you're down to 50% and then you go indigenous. So if you said what percent is indigenous, then you would take that percentage of the 50%, right? So I did that.

Yeah, yeah. So I did the math from, and it was, so white people are 70% of Canada, women's 50%. And then black and indigenous was, you can put them all into 30%. And then newcomers was 20%. Faith-based was 60. Person with disabilities was 22 in this country,

which is actually one in five people. 22% of people. Yeah, but they probably consider like fucking, you know, hurt my back. Climate change. Fear of climate change.

Fear of climate change. Small dick. LGBT is 3%, which is crazy when it's 90% of superheroes now. 3% is pretty low when you think about it, right? 3% is wild. Well, that's why even the things when they go,

I thought LGBT, but I thought they said that it was like 1 out of 10 people was gay. These stats change a lot. They did say 1 out of 10 people was gay. Was it forever where there were like 1 out of 10 people was gay? No, it's 1 in 30. I remember that because it was like, it used to be the joke was always 1 in 30,

so you'd kind of be like, someone in this classroom is gay, right? Okay okay but now that no more girls maybe when the rhetoric kind of got really high they go yeah it's like one out of one and you're like they're just going well this is the thing so that it's kind of the same thing as the the quotas for if they go well in in canada when it's uh 70 percent white or whatever if you saw like a panel and it was 10 people and seven of them were white you saw like a panel and it was 10 people and seven of them were white, you know that that would kind of like

rub people the wrong way. They would be like, well, why is there so many white people? And you will, it would actually be the exact, the amount, right? But it's just like, people are just conditioned to sort of like

see like a bunch of white dudes and kind of, what the fuck? What? I mean, like they might as well have clan robes on, right? Like that's how people like look at it, right? This is a good one.

But, so I'll tell you what percentage of the population tell me a second but 92.8 percent of the population that's what justin trudeau's saying so you basically go his thing is he goes hey i need if you're gonna be run this country i'm gonna do everything i can to make the lives better of 94 percent of the population and then what about the other six percent of population not gonna be on the agenda no not on the agenda isn't that just so funny it's like just say everyone at that point but obviously the word salad is to you know you say it because it's like popular politically well 100 percent sort of gets people's minds jumbled you don't realize what straight white men are

only no out any of these things are only six percent no because if you're a faith-based community you get included oh right if you're a disability-based community, you get included. If you're a disability, you're included. So straight white men is about 30% of the population. But it gets down to 10% because the disability is 20%. So that's down to 15%. So the disabilities, faith-based communities, and gay, and immigrants. But you could be a straight white man and you go ah ah straight white christian man that's the only oh i'm sorry you didn't that's the only flaw in this

but he did say that you are right i was thinking that too because obviously when he says faith-based communities what he does not mean yeah yeah i mentioned like all these guys go wait so white catholic i could have just said i'm catholic and get myself out of all this obviously he doesn't mean that so I will give you that that's on his words if he didn't

if we don't give him that then you're up to about 15 again so you go even still you go I'm gonna do everything I can

for 85% of this population and you go and religious people that aren't white obviously but he does mean like black Christians

probably he just doesn't mean white Christians for sure for sure yeah so I had a funny one he don't mean like Paul christians probably he just doesn't mean like for sure for sure yeah so i had a funny one very you don't mean like paul religious you know muslim um i'm very i'm very surprised i haven't told you this one actually so this is this is on thursday this is actually one of like the last shows like i'll fucking do for six months in canada because everything's canceled now but on thursday i had a show so there's this jamaican show that like i've

done a few times that my buddy runs. And it's at Jane and Finch, right? Jane and Finch is like the hood Drake always talks about. Like super hood in Toronto, right? And it's like this like for real Jamaican restaurant, right? And I'll come through. I've like headlined a few times. I'll show up, be all black comics, obviously all Jamaican audience.

I'll do my thing. But I do black shows all the time. So like it's all good. He's very black, white guy. Right, okay. You haven't gotten that yet. So it's all good. I'll do that thing but I do black shows all the time so like it's all good he's very black white guy right okay you haven't gotten that yet it's all good I'll do that right okay so then this Thursday this guy messages me and goes yo I can't make it can you host my show for me right and I'm like yeah for sure he goes cool I didn't know that like maybe I was supposed to book other comics so no other comics are booked but he goes but he goes i booked a headliner no worries so i go cool right so the head you're like i'll do half an hour so the headliners jam easy

it's another white guy right and he comes he's like i'm gonna pick you up we're gonna go to this show he picks me up he's like you ever done this show before i'm like yeah i've done it before yeah it's like all jamaicans i'm like yeah we'll be good this that we show up right this guy's made posters and it's just me and him on the poster all over this jamaican restaurant and it's called a white christmas and it's just me and him on the post so the second we show up everyone's like oh so you're the white christmas boys and we're like that wasn't our idea like we didn't make this fucking poster and they're like all right well yo and at this point there's eight women that are in their 60s church going jamaicans and they're like, all right, well, yo, and at this point, there's eight women that are in their 60s,

church going Jamaicans and they're like, no, no, we're going to stick around for this. Like, we want to see this and we're like,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, on stage dude that my whole first 15 minutes was just literally this was not my idea and it's a

white christmas and literally the taking the power back underneath the way it should be it's literally like yeah yeah that was like it makes it look like we're like yeah we're putting our show got a white christmas in the hood at a jamaican restaurant and it's just me and this guy white christmas no i do coke and literally everyone was like what the fuck was that and i was like we didn't come up with the title did you ever get an answer of what the fuck they were thinking yeah i call he's yeah bro he's like he was just like what's wrong with that you guys are white like he wouldn't even care if i said his name is fucking cedric newman cedric newman's just like he's always up to something

he thought it was kind of funny cedric thinks it's hilarious and he kind of also knows like yeah that's a bit of a joke on his part a funny joke it's a hilarious joke and like Cedric's like not one to be like

it was an accident Cedric's like yeah that's funny you know what I mean that's hilarious but we showed up and we're like and then we're like

where are the other comics and he's like I don't know that was up to you do you want to do time you're a comedian he goes nah I'm good it's a white Christmas

it ended up being me and Jam Easy comedy the way it was meant to be done you want to do time you're a comedian he goes nah I'm good it's a white Christmas it ended up being me and Jam Easy comedy the way it was meant to be done like it was me and Jam Easy literally like and then also it seems

like you're doing a parody too cause you and Jam Easy both like come up and do your fucking black guy shit yeah well that's the other thing

yeah right we're not just like oh we're not supposed to be here yeah it's not a white Christmas and you're like so I'm single you're going out there

being like yeah buddy you know literally yo how the bomba klatsats doing any go this is the white Christmas all of our materials just straight up just like yeah Yeah, yeah talking about Jamaicans Like literally both did 20 minutes on Jamaicans so like anybody there is just like what the fuck is this? That's so far white Like, get out of here. It's a motherfucker.

So we're going to do a little bit of a check-in on the witches right now. Yeah. I love the witch shit. Yeah, we've been following these witches, right? Last week they were asking around, trying to get some answers on how to get spells to make more money. But this is a new thing. Hi, everyone. I was wondering if anyone has a spell or ritual for success in legal matters. some answers on how to get spells to make more money but this is a new thing hi everyone i was

wondering if anyone has a spell or ritual for success in legal matters so she's got a big case coming up yeah as well as subsequently healing for the effects of going through the legal system i want to harness energy from the full moon to make this very powerful healing for me so she basically got a court case coming up she's also stressed out about the court case. Hoping that potentially there might be a spell that would help her win the court case. I won't go into too much detail but I was wrongfully terminated from my job and it's been a night fair.

I was loving maybe that. Whatever you fired for, keep doing witchcraft on the job. Sounds like she was rightly terminated if the solutions to every problem is more spells they refused to let me bring crystals to work they didn't give me a crystal break

they didn't give me a break to do a seance every five really? these Muslims get prayers all the time and I can't do a seance? this is unreal you kept getting spells on everybody well she has one that works here

she's doing spells on the customers and stuff like that. I was wrongfully terminated with spells. I'm also in the process of filing a wrongful termination case. She's suing her old workplace that she got fired for. Which is funny that she has to go through the regular system of justice when she has spells. She has her spells. You're literally, there's all supernatural stuff and she's

like, yeah, I gotta go down to the courthouse and file these papers. Why even bother? Why not just cast a spell that all the money gets transferred into your bank account? Of course. Spells don't have, the spells are very they don't like to do, they don't like to overdo their spells so it's kind of like you know, be like, hey, why don't you cast a spell that

that girl likes you? It's like, no I don't, you know, that's kind of pushing. I'm going to cast a spell that we might cross paths in the next couple months. Possibly years, whatever. Spells work weird. They don't like to go too all in on their spells. She goes, I've been in so much pain, so much uncertainty. I want to find peace because this has taken a lot of my personal power from me.

And I'm not sure what to do or what the best rituals would be. So looking for rituals. Sort of do you just feel bad for her because some girl gets fired for a job and you're just like sitting there you know she doesn't have a job just try to figure out spells so she can sue the workplace and you're just like yeah this is a crappy life this girl's living but also if you're what any of her co like employees just like fuck if my fucking employees are casting spells i mean tony if you're better not casting any spells on me.

The next comment is like a girl comes through with a spell. She has a spell. So what does the spell do? Well, you have to make an offering of chocolate and tobacco, which I also wonder how that works. What does that mean? To the sheriff? Yeah, just leave.

Like, I don't even smoke, but you just show up. Yeah, can I get a small bag of Belmont King size? Oh, you're smoking now? No, it's an offering. I'm just going to be living it in my living room. Yeah, and then, yeah, she said that this spell

worked for her. And yeah. So the spell worked and she won her car game. But she also was like, y'all, but like, also don't play games with this spell.

She says this spell means business. Yeah, and when you talk to this witch. Also, you will want to call the sheriff after you do the spell just to let him

know the problems. Turn yourself in. No, just to let him know that you have these issues and the sheriff's like, yeah, I just, I always show up. Yeah, show up yeah yeah i've been getting beaten you call the fucking sheriff the sheriff shows up and you're like it's probably the spell too though i don't know if it was that i called 9-1-1 50 the sheriff 50 the spells might have been something to do a

potion or 9-1-1 i don't know which whatever whatever system works best for you you know it's so funny too though that like right now like the witch shit has gotten super super popular girls are really into being witches now so much so that like i've literally for pussy i've had to been like yeah no i'm into the witch shit too i find it pretty cool i you know i mean i jerked off the fucking evanescence of guitar magazines back in the day so yeah i'm not against the i'm not against the lit but it's just so funny that girls can pull on just be like i'm a witch and like guys will still bang you no one's gonna think you're crazy okay oh these are brocks here if a dude was to be like yeah man i'm kind of into wizardry be like all right where's your lunch money there's not a guy who can get away with being like,

I'm a little bit into wizardry. We're going to be like, yeah, dude, we're going to beat the shit out of you. What the fuck? This fucking punk. Don't you fucking dare in your 30s tell us that you're into fucking wizardry. Yeah, the guys are like, give me your lunch money.

He's like, I wouldn't want to do that if I were you. I wouldn't recommend that. I wouldn't recommend doing that. He's abracadabra. And he's just like, give me your lunch money. He's like, I wouldn't want to do that if I were you. I wouldn't recommend that. I wouldn't recommend doing that. He goes, abracadabra. And he's just like, take his thing. Did you have some spells? I would say that you be very careful with your next course of action. That's a spell on you.

Yeah, the fucking annoying nerd. The fucking, what's his name's joke Sam Burns' joke the sassy nerd that's what it is that's what I was trying to think of sassy nerds

yeah he wears the fucking bowling shirts with dragons on them and stuff like that sassy nerds well well well well interesting

I think that I have found my nemesis yeah apparently it's warlocks the male witch that's what people were sort of contracting

is that what it wasn't wizards yeah F in the chat for the warlocks F in the chat for the warlocks you just literally embarrassed yourself

in front of all of our warlock and witch listeners but warlock is a huge one though holy yeah that is next level

like nerd king that's a fellow even the witches don't want to fuck the warlocks though the guy's like oh you're a witch actually i'm a warlock she's like yeah i don't date oh yeah because there's some hot girls that are into the witch shit like yeah for real where i'm just like yeah i'm not going to be like what like dude it's just religion for it's just like they're like if you don't go to church you're like i am never never go to church that organized religion shit's bullshit anyways Anyways, back to my spells. That's funny too. Like all of those girls

are super like, I was raised Catholic. Fuck that church. Fuck the organized religion and shit like that. Also, when there is a full moon, I'm going to leave water outside.

I'm going to make a few wishes on it. Don't touch that. Okay. She lives with her parents. Do not touch the water outside. Let the full moon bless it. And when I come back inside she's just like i hope i get everything asked for for christmas

just drinking her full moon water but yeah i know i've been part of those ceremonies heavy i've like genuinely like drank full moon water and oh my god i've been like literally smashing yeah you know what well i like doing psychedelics i've never found myself Genuinely like drank full moon water Oh my god And been like literally smashing 20 minutes Yeah you know what With all my like doing psychedelics I've never found myself roped up into any of that nonsense And here's the thing

Danny the girl is doing all the spells You go So I never asked what were the spells for And she goes She grabs your dick She goes I'll let you know if it starts working Oh is that a penis grower

It's actually a penis maker Penis maker smell Well it's not working Yeah yeah Step on the scale i didn't see you gravity getting more on here start using that for as an excuse every time you take viagra they're like it's just kind of weird that you need pharmaceutical pills to get hard you're like you mean i need potions to summon sexual activity i don't know what you're saying like potions is just medicine they go i'm not into all that medicine stuff it's like anyways to summon sexual activity. I don't know what you're saying. I didn't actually find like potions

is just medicine. They go, I'm not into all that medicine stuff. It's like, anyways, oh, no,

it's not an Advil. It's a potion. Paul's girl goes, hey, I didn't smell on you. What is it? He comes in. Yeah,

buddy boy. What? Ah, didn't work. She smelled him whiter. The weight thing, though though this is the last thing we're going to cover this is fucking

so did you guys see this one going around that basically that don't weigh me cards yeah so basically it was a pretty hot one I saw everyone

posting the cards I love that you can order them too well that's the thing so the whole thing is... It's just like a business. Someone's made this their business. They did make it their business.

So you basically hold a card and it says, don't weigh me to the doctors or whatever. And the premise is, because at first, it's very stressful. This is what they say. It's very stressful

every time we go to the doctor, we get weighed. I mean, in Danny's case, stressful for the scale. Or obviously, you've never written this article. Well, yeah. Also, imagine you're bringing your kid in, and it's literally part of their growth.

If their weight goes down, you go, yeah, your kid's pretty sick. He's growing. His weight should be going up. Yeah, I don't think this girl's weight's going down. The only thing that's going down is the fucking boat she's on. His energy hasn't changed. His soul's the same, so I don't understand why we have to go on that fucking scale. And then she goes, this stress is in part called by the health damage caused by weight

stigma. So sometimes when you go to the doctor, whatever's wrong with you is half of the fault of it is that you have to step on the scale. A small group of rebels is discovering they said. A small group of rebels is discovering that we don't have to be weighed every time we go to the doctor. Sounds like a large group of rebels if you ask me.

A small group of rebels dealing with heavy diarrhea has found a fucking loophole in the system. But it's like, even if any of this is true, where they go, hey, I don't want to be weighed or whatever, the card thing doesn't make any sense

because you don't say it. The doctor goes, ah, ah, ah. That's like, remember when they did the mask mandates and then everybody was like, no, just print off this card and then whenever someone says you have to show a mask, you have this like card

that says I'm not wearing a mask. No, that says like I have an exemption from wearing. Or just say that. But also, but like you don't and then I guess that's different, but then people were like, I have this card and they would take it to places and people were like. But a guy who has a fucking PhD and you're going to be like ah, ah, ah, ah, and you pull out your card

and you're like, yeah, that was your donut card. I'll see you're free. You're good for a new half dozen. Oh, sorry. Wrong card. Sorry about that. Paul was actually, Paul and Soldo were saying

that that actually does work, that they respect the restrictions. The exemptions, you don't have exemptions. I guess Canada's more, like more aggressive than New York. So people do walk around and they go,

oh no, I have a medical exemption. That's what Soldo says. He's big on that. He's big on that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure, yeah. There is a few places

that will like respect your exemption. You go, I have an exemption. I mean, so I even now, there's places in Canada, where did I go last night

where like, I show them, they're like, I don't care. Like they even were like, I got asked a few times. You have an exemption card? No, no, no.

I'm just saying, just showing my vax card and they were like, they couldn't, because like the theater, they give you, no, they didn't. I'm just showing my Vax card. And they were like, they couldn't, because like the theater. No, they care. They give you, no, they didn't.

Like they were, I've been to places where they're like, you know, see your ID. And then we went somewhere yesterday and the guy didn't even look at it. Like I was like,

it's like, it's like that. Oh no, there's been pretty strict here, man. Yeah, they are. They always ask me to fucking, they wanted a Vax card if you want to drink your coffee

at the place. And I go, yeah, I'll just drink it somewhere else. I'm not going to fucking do this. I mean, dude, sit down at your stupid table and drink my coffee. Think coffee by the fucking studio. They make you do that too. If you want to drink your coffee at the place. And I go, yeah, I'll just drink it somewhere else. I'm not going to fucking do this. I mean, dude, the sit down at your table and drink coffee by the fucking studio.

They make you do that, too. If you want to. They literally I got coffee before the shows. Madness. And they're like, are you sitting down? Yeah. Take your coffee. Me guys, we're fucking back.

It's so funny. But well, they definitely don't want to be asked for their weight, though. That's the thing. So it is somewhat similar. You're right. And they go, if stepping on the scales is not stressful for you or your child, that's fine. No problem. But for a lot of people that find it stressful and for a lot of the structural damages of the scale.

They go, hey, I'll tell you what. We're going to get one leg on each scale. We have two scales. They're like the male fucking scales or whatever, like those industrial. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The loading. Oh, I'm going to step on the scale. No, not here.

We got the loading dog out back. What's the gross? Oh, Publix. All the Publix have them when you walk in for some reason. And you step on it? You can if you want. Weird. But lots of people find this stressful,

and this article provides support and empowerment for people that say no. And they said, healthcare providers are the key contributors to weight stigma so they're really doctors are really in the scope here for their weight shaming sort of is like my doctors and carnies basically they basically every doctor they're just gonna make every doctor now just train for a weekend at the carnival i'm fine sure but then also you go okay you have to just get it yeah but then the doctor's like No, they go

We have two ways He goes, hey, do you want to step on the scale? I don't step on the scale You go, okay, we have a second way We bring the guy in He comes in with the outfit He goes, 155 He's just always on call

He's just always in the corner Bring in the carny We have a carny working at every hospital But the carny arrives He has a system The doctor gives him a quarter he goes

alright dude thank you he goes hey 155.7 he goes this guy's fucking good she goes

what? how do you know he goes he's good right I forgot to give you my other carny the no carny weight guys either

the carny's watching through one of those fucking no reflection mirrors so he's like yeah that's a problem no problem obviously that's your right

if you don't want to do that. Can I just have you spin around? One more time, a little bit slower. Just a spin. Just a spin. He gets the call. We got a thing

that wasn't so many minutes. Holy shit. Every hospital has a car and you're working for them now. That's so good they go so why do we get weighed every time

we go to the doctor's office and why do they always want our kids to get weighed they're making it seem like a conspiracy like what is it

with these doctors how is the kids thing I go like yeah they need to know if your kid's like malnourished but they're sort of

saying it's like a conspiracy yeah once they leave the doctor's like hold up hold up. But they're sort of saying it's like a conspiracy. What are these doctors up to? Yeah, once they leave, the doctor's like, hold up, hold up, hold up. Door shut. Do you see how fat that fucking kid was? Bring the nurses in. Holy shit, we had a chunker in here. We had to read him twice.

Holy cow, that kid was a butterball. Yeah, like the doctors are betting on it. That's the reason. A lot of what it is is is called it's just a medical ritual just like the white coat but being weighed is not a critical part of health care but it is but it's become a way that health care providers practice so i don't feel i feel like um i there i guess if you're if it's not relevant then whatever if someone comes in and they go i have a cold then if they're like why do you let's weigh you i go but like i've been to the i don't get weighed that much when

i go to the doctor like it's not like to be honest no for check that's probably this the person who's writing this it's like kind of like you're yeah it's necessary to be weighed do you remember that story that i have where i went to like when i went to jail and me and my buddies all went like did the drunk tank and they took my pants off or whatever and then we were all in different cells and i was like why are they taking our pants off or whatever. And then we were all in different cells and I was like, why are they taking our pants? And all my buddies are like, we all have pants right now. And it was like,

what the fuck? I don't have my pants then. Right. And it was, it was true. And I was saying, it's kind of like this thing where these like, you know,

600 pound people being like, they weigh us every time. And people like me, I'm like, yeah, they don't really weigh me. Cause they probably don't think my weight's going to be a factor. But if you come in like 600 pounds for like diabetes like it probably is more likely to be relevant like if

you're if you're sick and you're like really out of shape i mean it's probably more likely to be tied to that also yeah i think that's like if you go in then it's related to weight yeah so if i i don't think i ever really get weighed by a doctor that often yeah i don't think it happened maybe when i was a kid but like why yeah why would they weigh me? No, they don't. Yeah, so it doesn't really happen to me all that much, except for I usually get weighed because

I tell the doctors, you think I'm not 200? He goes, sir, it's really not necessary. Bring the scale up. Bring the fucking scale up. I go, I'm fucking weighed up. I'm beefed up right now.

I'm beefing right now. Easy. You're not 200. And then he goes, Ryan, can you take those lead weights out of your pockets? I've got the weights

in the pockets. I bet you thought they were lead weights, man. That's just a fucking dung. Small dicks are out again. He goes, based on our informal research, so the fat card people have done some informal research, the best response to the automatic request

to please step on the scale is, oh, I don't get weighed. Or, oh, she, he, they doesn't get weighed. That is funny. Just like a chunky family comes in, the doctor pops in, the mom goes, oh, no, no, we don't get weighed or oh she he they doesn't get weighed that is funny just like a chunky family comes in the doctors pops in the mom goes oh no no we don't weigh as a family we're not a weight family because i disagree we're not a getting weighed family the funniest part is the people who not the people who probably like need to be weighed the most that's obviously yeah who it is you know i mean yeah we don't get weighed as a family But you guys came up with the elevator

As two separate groups It really is a weird thing Having that mom The kid's like okay I'll step on this No you don't get weighed You don't get weighed This kid's just eating a donut at the doctor's I don't get weighed

Nine years old We can't get weighed. Nine years old. Do you do another donut? We can't get on that scale unless you put a ramp. A ramp for the scale. That's so funny. Okay, all right. Well, if you're going to weigh him,

don't count the scooter. You have to weigh the scooter separately and subtract it. Because the scooter is most the weight. Yeah, that's mostly scooter. They go, we accounted for the scooter. Yeah, no, we, yeah. We got scooter guys here.

That's minus the scooter. Based on our informal research, they said that. So just smile and leave it at that. Most of the time, you'll just get a strange look from the doctor or a surprised grunt or comment, but they'll usually usually move on so the doctor might just grunt when you tell him that that's the doctor trying not to laugh i don't see why you need to weigh me no it's where you get the card the card who brought a bag of chips to the fucking office weigh me you know what i mean she's fucking hand deep in a fucking bag of chips to the fucking office. Weigh me? You know what I mean?

She's fucking hand deep in a fucking bag of Ruffles, and the doctor's like, I guess we won't need to weigh you. You know what I mean? We'll just mark you down as two. We continue. Obviously, you're not done with the Ruffles, so that's going to add a pound or two

you guys got dip here isn't it a fucking doctor's office there's no french onion kicking around so that's why we created these don't weigh me cards to remind yourself that it's okay to not automatically step on the scale if you like

you can just give these cards to your healthcare workers to help explain why you and your child may not automatically get weighed and there's one more funny part where they go then they did like a bit of a Q&A

of and the thing where they're just like here's some of the common perception misconceptions and it was like one you need to be weighed. You don't need to,

it was kind of that. But one of them was a question. What about watching my kids weight so it doesn't get too high? Like, what about if you need to? And then the girl goes, answer, too high for what? Too high for what?

We've been told that we're in charge of our kids' weight, but in fact, the kids' bodies are in charge of their weight. So too high, I don't know, too large for what? If the weight gets too high for what?

I don't know, to fit down a slide maybe? Like something like that? To get out of the door frame? Like is there no? Yeah, I mean, obviously the thing, what he does really mean, too high, like too high that it's unhealthy, is like obviously what they mean, but.

I do the same thing selling drugs too. That's a half ball right there? Okay, well, we don't really weigh. We're not at weight. We're not at weight in drug dealer operations. It just really doesn't look like you gave me two Gs. All right. So either you trust me or not, because right now you're starting to offend me.

Here's my don't weigh weed card. We don't weigh. We don't weigh. We don't weigh weed cards. I'm actually offended that you'd even ask to try to weigh my weed. I'm pretty offended that you would even ask. We don't weigh weed cards. We don't weigh.

Look, it's a half, okay? What do you want oh shit okay this is gonna wrap up the boys cast with Paul Thompson but Paul

you said you had a new series coming out right yeah I do yeah yeah yeah so I'm gonna drop it this comes out Friday yeah so by the time this is out

it'll be out so I have it'll be on my like Instagram which is Paul Thompson Comedy it'll be on my YouTube and the series is me and Chris Robinson

what's the YouTube my YouTube is Paul Thompson Comedy yeah everything Paul Thompson Comedy I'll be on my YouTube and the series is me and Chris Robinson what's the YouTube my YouTube is Paul Thompson Comedy yeah everything Paul Thompson Comedy I'll put the links but yeah follow Paul Thompson

he's gonna do special shit too but one of the funniest comics in the world yeah YouTube I'm gonna start really like grinding and like making videos

and stuff but there's still a few like a couple like the suicide note and some funny videos oh he's got some funny shit on the YouTube on the YouTube

but yeah oh the suicide note you should watch this Paul did this he did this like really like the equivalent of like a fucking, you know, Brooklyn like art show and he did this like hilarious fucking troll on it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was so funny.

Yeah, so that's like my top video on the YouTube. But yeah, me and Chris Robinson, who was on the show that we did the other day. The fucking boys all came. We sold out three shows in Toronto and the fucking dogs came through. Yeah, super fun. Chris, who's like one of the funniest guys in the world me and him have this series where we're both like pretty hilarious like based on like rappers that we've known our whole life growing up so like we're playing like rapper characters but we review rap videos that we've collected over the years that are like some

really really crappy rap videos yeah you know i love that shit i have a lot of the ones that i do that we don't do it publicly because the guy's going to fucking kill me. Yeah, so we have a very dense collection of some of the worst rap videos ever, and me and Chris are breaking it down. Yeah, that's fucking hilarious. It's fucking hilarious. Check that out. And also, we've done, if you want to see,

we did Scarborough Doctor, me and Paul did together, and a lot of the stuff from Trontopia, like the Drake support group for people that are obsessed with Drake, and we did all these funny videos. The Suburban Car Show. Suburban Car Show. Suburban Car Show. That's my go-to. That's my favorite one. Fuck yeah. like the Drake support group for people that are obsessed with Drake and we did all these funny videos the suburban car show suburban car show that's my go to

that's my favorite but yeah check out all that stuff and also Paul's joining us on the Patreon this week patreon.com slash the boys cast

high value mails the dogs are out there bonus episode every week I got some stories that I was holding back right now for Patreon

oh he knows how to do it only for the high value mails he knows what he's doing behind the got yeah behind the paywall it does get a little daunting with this many people yeah yeah but hit us up on the page i'm actually a little more there's a few things that i'll be like i probably maybe shouldn't say that i'll pop it on the patreon in the middle yeah and also paul uh back in the day did a patreon where his ex wrote

this whole article about him and then then we went through the whole thing. So if you want to check that out, it's on the Patreon back in the day too. And also, this studio that we're filming in in Toronto is our boy, super funny comic, Max Sheldrick. If anyone wants to rent it out or whatever, hit him up. He's got a fucking sick setup. M-A-X-S-H-E-L-D-R-I-C-K is Instagram. Just hit him up, and people can rent this studio for him. He's got a sick set up here

peace