The Boyscast with Ryan Long - 'In your face comedy' at the LA diversity Showcase

Episode Date: April 17, 2020

What are Diversity people up to in quarantine? Bernie is a goof, boys questions about female soccer and more things - share a screenshot to your instagram fellas  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And you can tell our friends, and they can have my things when we're dead. We are in forever. We are in forever. Check it on the microphone. Check it on the microphone. Check it on the mic. Check it on the mic. Check it on the mic. Check it on the mic. Feeling good. The phones are working. The birds are chirping. Mr. Viral, Ryan Long, the viral kid, coming through with another viral Tattletail video. Man, I've been cranking them out.

Honestly, who's counting how many viral videos I've had in the last four years? 60 million, 70 million? I've lost count of the views. Too many views. Interesting how much Facebook's such a graveyard. Because Facebook did the ultimate bait and switch, right? Facebook basically started every, they tricked every media publication into joining Facebook.

You know, all these dorky ass media publications that used to have a website. They were like, root all your traffic for your websites through Facebook. So everyone was operating through Facebook. And then Facebook's like, build video, we're going to push it higher. So they actually were through Facebook and then Facebook's like build video. We're going to push it higher. So they actually were pushing video. So you were getting more views there basically than any other platform. And then once people build these whole media empires on Facebook, they basically said, okay, well now actually we're going to change it. So instead of everyone that follows you seeing your stuff, it's only going to be

a one in four and now it's going to be one in 10. And now there'd be like a million people following their pages and you'll go look at their videos. I have like 7,000 views on a thing. You're like, what kind of scam is this? And then the funny part is that Facebook thought it would work because they want everyone to buy their stupid ads. And then everyone just stopped on Facebook. It's literally like my grit. It's just my, my grit, my mom posting conflicting statuses. One day she'll be like, these Chinese, and the next day she's like,

can everyone stop being racist? Just whatever the hot in vogue opinion for the day is. All right, something's a little loud. I'm going to stop that. Hold on one second. I had to unplug my dildo machine. Sorry. It's fucking,

basically what happens, it's a dildo. It's like a modern day Sibian, happens it's a dildo it's like a modern day sibian but it's a big thing and it goes to chart when it charges it sort of goes big it's it can power a huge dildo so i recommend everyone buys one you're in quarantine what are you doing so here we are it's been about a month and i think that a month is about how long it took for people to be over this i love how people are like, I was arguing, I've been arguing with Danny Polishuk about this because he's like, stand up's going to start again in 2085. It's over. We're done. And I'm like, it's been about

a month where at the beginning, people are like, I'm never going outside. This is you guys are all idiots. Stay in your house. Ha ha. Quar quarantine. Here's a cute quarantine couple. Dave, I'm losing my mind. It's quarantine. Here's me cutting my own hair. All the cute quarantine content. And then a month later, everyone's like, yeah, no, I'm pretty done with this.

All of my friends that I was like, yo, you want to film something? And they'd be like, are you crazy? What are you, out of your mind filming quarantine? I've locked myself in my basement. I've chained my arms up on a guillotine, and I just spin the wheel with me on it. That's what I've been doing. And whenever it lands on, that's what I eat for my rations for the day.

And now every single one of them is like, yeah, yeah, how about next Thursday? People are over it. And they're talking about the red states are going to open up stuff earlier. Well, then everyone's moving there. I'll tell you that much. I'm not going to stay in New York where Cuomo tries to make everyone a bubble boy. That's the next thing. He wants everyone in this fucking city to be a bubble boy.

I feel like the celebs have shut up a little bit. You know what I mean? The first three weeks of all this quarantine you've had, there's just been a little bit of like all the celebrities in your ear making it, you yeah. Hey, look at me. I'm still here. Hey, it's Idris Elba. I got an opinion. I haven't heard too much from the celebrities lately. I feel like they've all kind of just like, cause really they have nothing to say. That's the problem with celebrities, right? What they can really do is every time there's a big issue, they can sort of pop up with the public opinion. You know what I mean? There's a big me too thing. That's a big issue, they can sort of pop up with the public opinion. You know what I mean?

There's a big Me Too thing. That's the big thing for four months. So then they can pop up with their opinion every four months by being like, yeah, yeah, I think that's bad. And then it can be like, boom! Idris Elba thinks the fucking men are bad. You know, you can pop up with your hot take with the supports, whatever bullshit they want to support at the moment.

But in the quarantine, nothing new has been happening. So the first thing they popped up and they're like, stay home. And then they sort of popped up and they're like, this is us singing, you know, and then they pop up a little bit being like, quarantine's crazy. And then by day, you know, by day, by week four, they're like, yeah, I mean, we're kind of out of stuff to say like really unless someone gives me a new opinion I don't I've never had anything to say I'm an actor like what the fuck does Alyssa Milano have to say now she has nothing to say there's no there's no opinions that she can have she's out of opinions so that's been sort of fun to watch the only people that are really loving this is again the lazy community Cause the lazy community is at home being like, you guys should stay home. And you're like,

you don't do anything. You're collecting your fucking $2,000 a month for sitting on your fucking two inch dick, sitting on your crappy two inch dick in your fucking house with your fat gross girlfriend, your fat gross. Love referring to someone's fat gross girlfriend as their fat gross girlfriend. I've been really's fat, gross girlfriend as their fat, gross girlfriend. I've been really playing around with that idea. I was interviewing people on the street about that saying, what are you supposed to do if your 400-pound girlfriend balloons up to 450? I think that's going to be my next video that I've been.

Sometimes I just get obsessed with ideas. And the idea of being quarantined and with your girlfriend who's 500 pounds, like my 500-pound girlfriend, quarantine edition. You know what I mean? You're looking at the camera. You camera you're like yeah it's been a little tough in quarantine then you just hear like the ground shaking like boom boom boom you go to the fridge it's empty just your classic classic fat jokes just and especially there's certain things about that it's just you're like there's nothing that crazy about that sketch other just, you're like, there's nothing that crazy about that sketch other than the fact that like, you're not supposed to call girls fat. You're not supposed to make fun of anyone for being fat. And it's something about that whole

concept that just really makes me laugh. So I think that's going to be my next thing that I'm obsessed with is being quarantined with a 400 pound girlfriend. I was, I, okay. So again, I went to interview people on the streets. So I go to union square. I've never seen it more packed. Kids are skateboarding. Homeless people are wrecking going crazy. So this is what happened. I'm there. I'm on the fucking, I'm in union square. Someone gets hit by a bus. So literally someone gets hit by a bus and then everyone gathered around. There's like homeless people everywhere. And then this homeless guy starts going, I made him get hit by a bus. And he goes, he was my slave. I go, why? He goes, he goes, that guy, I wanted him to be my slave.

And then he didn't want to be my slave. I go, what happens if you're a slave? He goes, everything I want, I shit in a bowl and make him eat it. That's what happens when you're my slave. And I'm like, yeah, I mean, that makes sense that he didn't want to do that. And then he goes, yeah, well, he tried to leave being my slave and I forced him to walk in front of a bus with his mind. So it's good to know the homeless people are still out doing their thing, you know, using their mental ability to make people get hit by a bus. So that was fun to see. He was out there just having a good time. Every single person I talked to, so I talked to maybe like 20 fucking guys out on the street in Union Square. Every single one goes, the government's fucking lying to you.

I go, what do you guys think of Corona? They go, I don't give a fucking shit. It's a lie. You don't think they're lying to you? They just want to steal your freedom. I'm like, man, I said it's either one of two things. Either the homeless people have got the scoop or option two, I'm so fucking crazy that I've got the same opinions as homeless people. I don't know. I don't know which one it was.

Yeah. Normal people's opinions are just such like the slop you're supposed to have, you know, there's, I'm telling, and this is one thing I like a little better about fucking America than Canada. Cause in Canada, everyone a little more blindly trusts the government. Like most people in Canada are just like holding hands like, stay in our houses, stay in our houses. Mr. Trudeau, give us money. You know what I mean? Everyone's sort of happy about it.

If anything, they're like, this is awesome. I'm just getting money. I'm sitting in my house. Whereas Americans seem a little more distrusting of the government. Your average person, although the, I think, I don't even know if I mentioned this, but the bodega guy underneath me, I went there, he goes, this is fucking, this is a lie. The government's lying to you. He's like, you can't believe a thing you say.

The next day I go back to his bodega. He's got a mask on. He goes, I'm shutting down tomorrow. I go, what happened? You're telling me this is fake yesterday. He goes, I watched the news because i watched the news it got in my head well they can't get their fucking story straight here you know you don't have to go that far out of the realm of possibility to start getting yelled at remember the interrupters

that band they're like a ska band from uh la they're pretty new and the girl came out and she basically said she's like oh i'm just like pro freedom or like you know essentially said she's like a libertarian like like nothing pretty crazy. And then everyone flipped out. All my punk rock groups that are on the Internet are all like, she's canceled. I can't believe she's canceled. And you're like, who do you think's more punk right now? Okay, if every single one of your opinions is the same opinion that fucking Beyonce has, like who do you think's more punk?

What opinion do you have that you couldn't really easily say on the Ellen DeGeneres show? That you can go on like a daytime talk show in front of the most soft people in the history of the world and say all of the things you think and it would be fine. So, you know what I mean? If every opinion you have, you could say on the Ellen DeGeneres show, guess what? You might not be punk. So it's pretty funny. You're like, these people are canceled. We're punk.

We're canceling them. And you're like, no, you're not punk. Everything you think is, you have the same opinions of everyone's mother. You're Christians repackaged. Okay. Got it. I also think it took a bit. It also seems like it took about a month for people to really start coming out of the woodworks with their issues.

You know, whether it's a gender issue. It also took it also took about a month for everyone to start coming out with the woodworks with their articles about how coronavirus is racist. You know what I mean? Have you guys seen that? They'd be like, this is why coronavirus kills more black people. Coronavirus is coronavirus is a KKK outfit on. I've actually noticed that it's a coronavirus is coronavirus has a kkk outfit on i've actually noticed that it's a coronavirus is on the coronavirus is on the dark coronavirus listen to too much pewdiepie and now coronavirus is killing blacks well this is a good article okay so the la times

this is what they ram they're the future future of Hollywood diversity, but coronavirus has put their careers on hold. And there's a picture of a girl who's 500 pounds with no legs on the front. This is my favorite part about diversity in general is when they clump the people together. Because you basically say this. First of all, there's so much that diversity has, like, made it so much harder for a girl. I mean, I know a million, like, brown guys and Muslim guys and stuff like that that are in comedy. And whenever they do a show, like, whenever they do a showcase, they almost have to, like, feel embarrassed about it. You know, if this guy's on Just for Laughs and his name's, like, Mike Smith, you're like, oh, man, that guy must have been funny.

And you're like, and if he's got some, like, Muslim name and she's a lesbian, everyone's like, oh, okay. I'm sure she sucks. Like everyone just, everyone knows that there's been this insane push because people have eyeballs. So it actually made things way harder for anyone that's fucking actually funny. With all the diversity stuff, they're like, we want to rewire your brains. And you're like, well, yeah, but that's my brain's based on logic. I don't have any problem with black actors or fucking women actors. I mean, I might have a problem with like a person with no legs if they're trying to play like the heartthrob, like a quarterback.

But I don't think I would ever have a problem with no legs if it made sense with the movie. I listen to this directing podcast, right? One of the podcasts I listen to to I won't say what the name of it but they've they've gone full social justice but I still find that they're pretty good at talking to some directing stuff but what they've said was they're big on being like you know as white guys they mentioned they're apologized for their fact that they're white guys like twice an episode you know what I mean like obviously the two of us are white guys so we shouldn't even be talking about that they'll say stuff like that doesn't matter what they're

talking about they're like choosing cameras they're like i mean this is something we should definitely consult with a woman i mean two white guys i don't know if we could possibly come up with the the correct camera to use and they're always just apologizing for being straight and they're one of them's definitely gay right so they're like we're just so fucking straight just fucking being a straight white man we're such straight white man. It's so fucking hard. You know what I mean? And I'm getting hard thinking about how you're so straight. You're fucking straight. That's the gist of the podcast. And they said, they go, we think that women,

you know, they would say, you know, sometimes we need to step aside and give up our jobs. You know, they want to give up their jobs to brown people. they don't actually, but they want to say that on their podcasts. And then, so they said on their podcast that they're going to have 50% women for the rest of time. They go to work. Okay. But you're like, okay, but I've been a director for a long time and I know all directors. And I know that most people that do that are like 90% man and not saying there's not good female directors. Of course there are, but most of the people that are directors are men not saying there's not good female directors. Of course there are. But most of the people that are directors are men. And there's a million reasons for that. One, first reason directors are mostly men is because most directors came from like being in the band world

or skateboarding or something else that snowboarding. A lot of directors in Toronto that I know are snowboarders. So tons of directors came from like other worlds where they would have got into making films. The second thing is, especially in like directors that work like cinematographers, that is a super physical job. These are like huge cameras. You're holding huge things. You have to be taller in a lot of times. So it is like kind of a physical job to be like a cinematographer, which a lot of those people get into directors. There's a million other reasons, you know, three, just in general, those kinds of jobs of like making videos with your friends and shit, or just things that guys do more anyways, whatever. There's a million reasons why there's more male directors than female directors, but that's not really the point of the matter.

The point of the matter is if there's a hundred, if there's a thousand men directors and 10 and a hundred women directors, and you're going to like, we're going to have half the female directors, then you're like, okay, so every, so I know that every time you have a female director on that, you pick a female director. She'll be statistically picked out of a field, a pool that is 10 times smaller. It's the equivalent of she's the, she's the best director in a tiny town versus someone who was the best director in Toronto versus someone that's the best director in New York city. You'll have, they'll have these girls on the podcast and the girls will go, yeah. So I just was, I joined the women directors program. And then now I got this, I won this award.

And then now I'm a director for this big TV show. It's like, it all happened so fast. Directing is awesome. And you're like, why would I ever listen to someone who's been directing for four years? And now you're like fast track to directing TV shows. It's like, you don't, why would I, what can I get from you? So a lot of times I, I turn off those episodes and then it's like, I literally like see a girl episode. Now I don't download them anymore. And I'm like, is that because I'm sexist or because you've forced my hand where I'm just using I'm just trying to use statistics where I'm like okay you've literally most times when you have men directors on it's like some guy that's been directing for 20 years and most time when you have female directors on it's some girl

has been like directing for four years and she just kind of like fell into it and why would I why would I care what she has to say and then i'm tired of finding that out the hard way so i just kind of stopped listening to female directors on there because of you forcing my hand on that so that's how a lot of people feel about this like you know this diversity stuff and it fucks over girls especially that are funny because there's so many girls that are like you know get fast-tracked ahead of their thing and then they're on you know some girl that's like really funny for being in four years in a comedy and then she's like forced on a show with like the top people in the city because you know of whatever and then she goes on and people are

like oh the girls aren't as funny and you're like well yeah because a guy that's at her level would never be on this show so she's on a show that she doesn't deserve to be on to people are fucking smashing the bed of her and then you're people are like oh i think then it perpetuates this stereotype that you're trying to stop that's what i was talking to my buddy about there's like a university professor it's just the same thing where it was like even if you think you're you're this is what you agree with you're like diversity is amazing what you're doing isn't working you know what i mean where you're like we need to fucking push all this liberal stuff in people's face. You're like, you have a Trump in every city now. Like every country has a Trump. Even if you agree what you think, it's clearly not working. That's all you need to know. So anyways, they have these diversity

showcases and they clump all of the things together. It's like, you can be on it if, basically, okay, so you can be on it if you're a black guy. You can be on it if you're a gay guy. You can be on if you're a bi person, a woman, a white woman, a white woman's diversity. Now you can be on it if you are in a wheelchair, if you've got like a stutter. So everything's diversity except for white guys. So literally, I think it would be like 85% of comedians could be on the diversity showcase. So 85% of the world's population is diversity. So literally, China's

diverse. You're diverse if you're Chinese, even though there's the most of you of anything in the world. You're diverse. And then also, it's like diversity showcase. It's like a cool black guy and a guy with no arms and legs. Like, they're the same. It's just so, so everything but me. So literally everyone but me is diversity. They really fucking nailed it down. I saw that they had a diversity showcase at Just for Laughs, and there was a Jewish guy on it. Diversity, Jewish.

And if you have, like, a disability, like one arm or something like that, you know, I know a guy that has one arm. He's very funny. And it's like, what, what has been holding you back in comedy? Like, is there, I can assume in acting, there might be most of the roles are for two armed men. I can think that two men with guns, two armed men, Reno 911 joke, but it's not like it's been holding you back for your actual comedy. And to say that like, this is the future of comedy. You're like, I'm again, I'm not saying that people in wheelchairs aren't doing comedy, but it's like, this is the future of Hollywood, like a 500 pound, 500 pound woman with no legs. Like probably not. I mean, I can't imagine that that's the case. Turn on the TV and every, you know, this is the new hot chick. Like, oh, your new girlfriend's coming over. I can't wait to meet her. Oh fuck. Is she hot? 500 pounds, no legs, wheelchair.

Oh, where'd you meet her? You know, are people in wheelchairs, the future of roofing? Probably not. you know are people in wheelchairs the future of roofing probably not there's nothing funnier than watching a cool black guy have to sort of uh justify his brain like that he's in this because you can every guy i know that's like a cool you know cool black or brown guy or whatever it's kind of been in these diversity showcases and you can kind of see them not liking it you can kind of see their wheels turning it's like stop treating me like i'm a baby i'm fucking i don't need training wheels i'm actually fucking good at comedy and cool fuck you but you know you're not gonna not take it okay so this is what happened the cheers reverberated through the l portal theater in north hollywood as the curtain dropped

and the group of multicultural and lgbtq artists who had just performed a torrent of in-your-face comedy sketches to an audience of agents, managers, and creative executives from TV networks and production companies. In your face. Do you think the diversity showcase was really in your face? Is that who they would have booked? Do you think you would have been booked on? Do you think a guy, what's his in-your-face comedy? Do you think a guy went up there and he was really edgy? You know, do you think one of the white gay guys went up there and he was fucking dropping the N bomb? Do you think there, do you think it was in your face or do you think it was, I'm fucking go, Hey, I got zero arms and I got zero like for our president. Fuck Trump in your face. I can, you know what it's, know what in your face comedy at a diversity showcase is? 100% of the time

it's like talking about how much fucking guys you fucked. And that's for guys and girls. If you're a guy, you're gay talking about how much guys you fucked. You're like, I just took six dicks last night in your face. And then if you're a girl, it's like, I'm such a fucking slut. What?

I'm taking back the power. The cheers reverberated from in-your-face comedy. The performers hugged one another backstage. That was your in-your-face. No, your comedy was in your face. I'll tell you what. When I'm on a showcase of comedians that are like in-your-face edgy comedy, not your grandmother's comedy. I've hung out

with lots of places. I mean, I would say most of the comedy clubs that I perform at, if you were going to describe the comedy, you might be saying that it's in your face. We're not hugging each other after the show. Dude, you were so in your face. Dude, you were in my face. Dude, that last joke, it was in my face. It was literally, that last joke he did was literally in my fucking face. Thrilled by the rousing response to the original material. I guarantee if you were in a room full of agents and managers and stuff like that, if you'd ever do a show where most of the people are like agents and managers, people don't really laugh.

So you know that this is just a plethora of these fucking like white Hollywood managers and agents that had to go to the diversity showcase and then fake laugh. So I'm brown. What are the odds that the amount of jokes about their parents' accents that probably took place at that diversity comedy show? I know that. So the last comic was talking about his mom's accent. You want to hear my dad's accent.

The performers hugged one another backstage, thrilled by the rousing response to the original material, peppered with catchy songs and raunchy humor. Catchy songs. You know why people do songs? Because they make you do 10 minutes on a festival, and you're like, I only have five if I do a song I've had I had my friend call me once that she was supposed to do a 30 minute set and she really only had like 20 minutes and she was like yo would it be weird

if I did a song do you think that'd be weird and I was like no probably that's the move but that's that's when people are doing songs on these showcases it's because they don't have enough material to fill the fucking showcase with their raunchy stories about sucking dick but they were even more pumped up about what was come after the show networking with industry insiders who could potentially cast them into a tv show paving their path to stardom how out of fucking touch is this that you think that that's how comedy works? Do you know what I mean? In fucking 2020

you just do a showcase and then a manager comes up and he goes, you got legs, kid. Well, not legs, but you got the potential to be in the top of the class. I'm gonna bring you to the top, kid, and I'm gonna have to carry you because, again, you don't have legs, as I mentioned. It class. I'm going to bring you to the top, kid, and I'm going to have to carry you

because, again, you don't have legs, as I mentioned. It's like I'm fucking, you know, a record executive in 1980s. Kid, I'm going to bring you to the top. That's one of the things I don't like about biopics for music. They're all so fucking corny. I remember in the We Will Rock You,

and it was the Queen one, and they were showing how they wrote We Will rock you when they were in the dressing room and he goes guys stop stop stop imagine a whole crowd screaming this i'm like yeah i don't think that's how he wrote the song i just don't see that happening. I don't see he had like a eureka moment and he goes, guys, stop everything. I just don't see that's how it happened. So I feel like they rewrite it all and just make it so fucking corny where it's like, no, people probably wrote songs. Then they had band practice and they showed each other their songs. It's like, I've seen how a million bands write songs. It's never that corny. And it's that this thing, it's like to do a stand in standup comedy. So these people have been doing standup

for two fucking years. Some manager comes, he goes, I'm going to bring you to the top kid. I'm going to make your life. It's in Canada. They used to always do this. People be like, fuck man, I need to book just for laughs. Cause that's how you can make it big I go what do you mean by make it big like what exactly do you mean by that like if you look at most of the big huge comics in the world they've all been doing it for fucking 15 years most of them are awesome they've released hours of material you kind of gain everyone's respect in the scene you might I'm not saying you wouldn't be able to like book some stupid role on something but it's like this idea of like making it big this idea where you just get plucked out of nowhere you don't have an audience you don't have a perspective and you just you have two years of comedy and you can do 10 minute showcase and they plot you into the mainstream

I'm not saying they might be able to like puppet you along and you might make like 100 grand a year for a couple years but you're gonna fucking build a real career on like just getting plucked out of nowhere and you're just plucked into stardom it's like just such an old-fashioned way of like looking at just such an old-fashioned way of looking at things so it talks about how some of them are still working in corona it goes it's inspiring to witness how these artists are continue to work on their craft in the most unique and innovative ways despite the situation the entertainment industry is currently in. What is it? Why even write an article of like how diversity people are coping with coronavirus?

How does a black guy? I know that every other comedian is dealing with this Corona thing, but like how does a black guy dealing with, how is a black person dealing with coronavirus? Guess what? This black guy dealing with how is a black person dealing with coronavirus guess what this black guy he's even doing he's on the internet tweeting he's doing live streams can you believe that and you're like well every comedian's doing that yeah but he's black it's like they just they treat these comedians like they're actually retarded it's inspiring to witness that even a diversity person is doing yeah. He's not retarded because you're brown. They treat them like they're little toddlers.

It's like they're like, we're propping up these people. It's like, look at them. Even in coronavirus, they're even still staying on the internet. They're tweeting. Yeah, what else are they going to do? He's been tweeting. He's been doing live streams. Look at you.

Well, everyone's doing that. Yep. Yeah. But they're diverse and they're doing it. They have to overcome and they have to overcome adversity. Do you know how hard it is for a black guy to turn an iPad on? And you're like, I just don't understand why they should get extra points for being diverse and staying busy. Like that's what everyone's doing. It's like, shh, they're going to hear us and I'm their savior. So one of the people they talk about, about they go they've actually been performing in virtual zoom comedy shows oh my god must miss while figuring out her next move though it has been doing she though she's been doing stand-up for several years she's been doing stand-up for several years several three years of stand-up for several years. Several. Three years of stand-up comedy and she's a

big Hollywood showcase. And the executives are going to pluck it out and she's going to make it. She said the showcase has given her invaluable exposure. Exposure. The oldest trick in the game. The old Hollywood exposure.

That's what Vice Magazine pays their employees in exposure and not racist points. Like how much money are we going to give you? Honestly, nothing. But you're going to get so much exposure. We're going to give, you're going to get Twitter followers and you're going to get so much not racist social capital. We're going to give you chips that just show you're not racist. Like, you know, in Alcoholics Anonymous where you get chips for five years, they actually do that advice where they give people fucking chips. And it really shows that you're not racist. Like, you know in Alcoholics Anonymous where you get chips for five years? They actually do that advice

where they give people fucking chips and it really shows that you're not racist. If you have a five-year chip advice, it's like, holy shit, you are so not racist. We're helping diversity so much. What did you do? Give them money? Exposure.

What are they doing that with exposure? She's doing Zoom comedy shows in quarantine. Are you kidding me? And she's a girl, so she has to overcome obstacles to do her Zoom comedy shows in quarantine. Are you kidding me? And she's a girl, so she has to overcome obstacles to do her Zoom comedy show. What are the obstacles? Well, I mean, it's very hard for women to use electronics, as you know. They're at a huge disadvantage. Her star moment in the show came during a skit parodying the film Hustlers, in which she did a take on Jennifer Lopez's hard-driven stripper. With seductive flair,

she maneuvered her wheelchair forward and backwards-driven stripper. With seductive flair, she maneuvered her wheelchair forward and backwards around a stripper pole. Yuck. Now, I mean, maybe, listen, I don't know, if this was a sketch and she's in a wheelchair and she did it herself and she posted on her YouTube, I don't know, maybe that could have been funny I'm not saying there's nothing funny about someone with no legs doing a stripper pole thing But what my point is, so she doesn't do stand-up Like, she's at a stand-up comedy showcase and she goes up and instead of doing stand-up comedy She's doing a stripper pole routine I mean, do any of these people have 10 minutes of stand-up comedy for their big showcase

that they've been doing stand-up comedy for several years for? Anyways, apparently all this stuff that's supposed to help diverse people, it doesn't help them. It makes life harder for them. I can guarantee you that. You know what it does? It makes it easier for three people. It's like all of these policies, you know, that these people purport to be helping. It makes it easier for a few of the people that get picked. So if they, when they say diversity, we're helping women, it helps the four women that they kind of try to make an example of where we're like, look at this, we're helping these women. And then every other women gets to see these four women that don't deserve something and it hurts them. So most, that's what most things that, you know, most of these like subsidy programs,

it helps, it helps the four people, you know, there's the, there's some person that they get book every showcase and they get a bunch of Twitter followers and now they have a big podcast or whatever. So it helps them. You know what I mean? It helps the person that they've shot past everybody else when they didn't deserve it. And then it hurts every other girl or whatever that has to suffer the consequences of people's minds noticing that someone's getting something they don't deserve. Every time people do this like nonsense PC stuff, it has the opposite effect. And that's why every country's got a fucking Trump right now. And that's why I, Ryan Long, am running for president as the president for the boys.

It's me, the first president for the boys. I don't know what's going on with the presidential run, but like Bernie Sanders is such a pussy. If you are fucking someone that wants to like push fucking left-wing politics or whatever, if you're like a Bernie guy or whatever, you have to stay away from the PC stuff. It's like the death of all these people if you want to fucking be a left-wing person you need to be like i'm for the people sticking up against the rich that's the only narrative that actually fucking gains traction if you want to be that type of person that's why bernie sanders was such a pussy because he was like i'm gonna run a fucking revolution and then like like what elizabeth warren will be like bernie said this because he was like i'm gonna run a fucking revolution and then like like what elizabeth warren will be like bernie said this and he's like i didn't but you're like if you want

you're trying i'm talking about running a rev a fucking lucian and you can't stand up to this bitch on the stage he had no kill shots that's why i'm gonna win instead of bernie the pc shit is like everyone hates it it's the most shit. So that was like a layup for every Trump to just be like, yeah, we're done with this shit. I'm here. And everyone's like, yeah, yeah, that shit fucking sucks. No one liked it. Woke's nonsense was retarded. And if, if you're going to be the left-wing person, you need to be like, I'm standing up to the, I'm power to the people. I'm running a revolution. We're taking the richest money. Like if I was his campaign manager, which I would take any job, like I've zero integrity. I made a commercial

about how like bullying is bad. I've literally could not care less if you're paying me money. If I'm not involved in the project creatively, I'm not going to try to change your message. That's up to you. I'm here to make like your thing good. But let's say I was Bernie Sanders' campaign manager. And it would be like, okay, I don't know if you have been watching anything, Bernard, but you need at least one kill shot. Like, it just seemed like there was five times. Put it this way, what's Bernie Sanders' campaign slogan? I don't know.

Does anyone know? Does anyone know what his fucking slogan is even? He goes, oh, the rich people are bad. And you're like, yeah, yell that in one sentence it's like he had no guy couldn't market a fucking guy can't market pussy to fucking prisoners it's ridiculous all you have to do is like elizabeth warren's talking he goes you're the phoniest person in the history of the world you stole all my platforms and then you're pretending they're yours i've been doing this for 60 years and you came on the scene and you stole my things. Trump, you'd be like, you're the biggest con man in the

history of America. I'm the only guy, blah, blah, blah, whatever you want to do. Kill shots. This is 2020, Bernard, not 1920 college lecture. He wants to talk like a university professor. He wants to be in a, he thinks he's a TA and he's talking over coffee to his university kids that have came to see him. They're like, hey, Mr. Professor, what do you think about rich people? He goes, well, the thing is, like, that's how his energy is that he's talking to one of his students, and he's a TA trying to be a tenured professor. That's what it seems like Bernard Sanders is trying to do. Zero kill shots.

He doesn't even have a slogan. It was disgusting to watch. I don't get how these fucking Democrats, how do they not have a better candidate okay well I think of like let's say we're gonna pick a guy to make be like late night talk show host and I'm like I look at all of the comedians I know I know tons of people that were you know they were a the funniest guy in their high school they were the funniest guy in their fucking college then they were the funniest guy in their town then they moved to you know a big town and now they're one of the funniest guys there. And they've been amazing at comedy their entire life. And then I know a

thousand of these people and that's how many they're probably in the world. Like maybe a thousand of those people pick one of those guys. And then you start grooming those words, the Democrats, you're like, this is the fucking people that you have to run for. Like, when you look at the Bill Clintons or Obamas, how do you not have another of that? Like be like, okay, what are the thousand people that are the, they were the top of their class in fucking high school. Then they went to the best university. Then they worked at some place and they were the top guy there. How is there not any of these people? He's they're good looking. They can give good speeches. They're like, they were on debating class. They were fucking good at getting pussy.

They were fucking pussy magnets. Didn't settle down with some ugly whore. They got a hot fucking wife. All of these things. There's probably a thousand of them. And then be like, okay, we had Trump's in, we got four years. Let's get our thousand. them. And then be like, okay, we had Trump's in, we got four years. Let's get our thousand. Who are a thousand? Let's get our list of a thousand best people. Let's put all of those people in a fucking position where they could probably run in four years. If they do a pretty good job, then get all of those people. It's like the slop, they bring out these people. Who was the guy? Beto O'Rourke looks like a young kid skateboarding on with his slingshot. And

they're like, remember they were like, this guy's presidential. It's like, are you taking crazy pills? What is wrong with you people? Bernard Sanders, he's trying to run a revolution. He's getting bitched around. He's on stage. The girls come take his mic and he's like, I'm sorry. You think that would have happened to any other fucking person that ran their left-wing revolutions even your own revolution he's like basically used to say he's a communist now he's like no no no no i'm democratic socialism like stop getting bitched around if you want to run a left-wing revolution not that i think that i think that people don't want it but i think you have that's your only chance is to bitch people around if you did want to run that if you do want to be the fucking candidate for the people revolution guy you can't be fucking old guy in a wheelchair getting bitched around

by corporate shills Hillary Clinton bitches you around and you're like I'm sorry she even said she goes no one likes to work with you you should be like you are the worst politician in the history of the world you got job you did you got a job you didn't deserve because your husband was president and then you fucking won the easiest election in the history of the world to one. Everyone hates you. Say that in a tweet. Tweet that. Guy has no balls.

I've never seen a ball-less man. Step right. He should be in a freak show. Step right up, everybody, to see the amazing ball-less man. This man literally has no balls. Even his own people. He can't even get a grip of his own you know he's one of those guys that he's the closest thing to what those people would want

so he just got a revolution going and then he didn't even know what to do his own revolution people would be like you know when people would be like Bernie people are kind of uh a little much these Bernie bros and then he was, he would go to his own base and he'd be like, I'm sorry, guys. We need to tone it down. You're gonna tone down your revolution, Bernard? What a fucking bitch. Anyways, well, that's what happened.

Can you imagine how much he would have got bitched around if he was actually president? Especially when you're selling nonsense. You know what I mean? Because a lot of that fucking revolution stuff is kind of nonsense. You know, all of the stuff Bernard's saying's saying it can't be discussed it's ideas you're selling this fucking like revolutionary idea he's coming in here he goes i'm gonna fucking

minimum wage is gonna be a million dollars and i'm gonna take everyone's money you know that's what you the energy you don't want to be debating facts be like you're a phony i'm the real that's what you need to do because your system doesn't hold up that much. Cause he's like minimum wage. We want to raise minimum wage. And you're like, okay, why, why should we raise our own wage? It's the best. We need minimum wage raised higher everywhere. And you're like, okay. So in, let's say if you think it's so great to raise minimum wage to $15, why not raise minimum wage to like $80? Why don't we raise it to $10 trillion? And you're like, well, that's too high. Okay. So you agree that it's some, it's bad high somewhere, right? You agree that there is a position where minimum wage will be bad. Everyone's

just disagreeing what that is. And I'm, again, I'm not taking a position on this one way or the other. I'm saying, but in principle, you're not saying the minimum wage is always better. But if you're going to be a revolution guy, you kind of need that energy. So you don't want to have that fight. You need to be, minimum wage is ever better. And they go, well, the economy, listen to him babble. This, we're trying to raise the minimum wage. I'm trying to help the people.

You know, you don't, you want to avoid actually having conversations. And you need, and the way to avoid having conversations is attacking people. Bernard Sanders needs to look at Trump and be like, I'm going to do a little bit of that. Trump's been fucking murdering it out there with his quips. That guy's on fire. He goes, right now, I saw the one where some guy comes in. He goes, I've been studying oil prices. And I got a question about oil.

And he goes, OK, you've been studying oil prices. What was oil's price yesterday? And he goes, well, you just said you've been studying it. And the guy goes, well, I can look into that. He goes, next question. There's no one better at like pwning reporters than him. And if you're going to be fucking, if you're going to be,

and Bernie Sanders was a little bit funny. If you want to run a revolution, that's what you needed to do. So that's over. Democrats are fucking addicted to losing. Bernard Sanders if you wanted to win the election you needed to be the person that the university professors

talked about not the university professor does that make sense ok you got fucking grad student energy turns out Alan's a bitch I don't know if you guys saw this but basically someone tweeted send them all your stories about how Ellen's a dick.

And apparently Ellen's like a big bitch, which everyone sort of knows. I remember watching her on Comedians in Cars with getting coffee. And you could tell that you're like, oh, this person's like kind of a bitch. But who cares? I mean, I'm friends with lots of girls that are bitches. I don't give a shit. But I guess it's just funny because Ellen's so like, you know, save the world, all this stuff. And then it turns out she's a dick. I, but I called this on my show.

Ryan Long has challenged years ago. We did an episode where we had to beat Ellen at a talk show. And I said that Ellen's talk show is say no to bullying, say yes to dancing, go viral. Everyone's amazing. So we did a whole episode with that where it's all, you know, her whole formula is like, bring on, there was a cat that got 10,000 views. Like, let's bring on the cat. This is the cat that got 10,000 views. So we're doing, that was the whole episode kind of making fun of Ellen. And then we were talking about how we were just spreading shit about her. Cause we were, we were interviewing these old ladies that liked Ellen. And we were saying, I don't know if you know this, but she's a rageaholic. And oh yeah, she actually, uh, she cold clocked Gleneth Paltrow from what I hear. Anyways, we were telling all this stuff. So I called it, I called a lot of this stuff back in the day.

This was nine years ago. And I was fucking making fun of this shit on my show. I remember I did an episode where I was, I was trying to get, I was going to go trans and I was going to get my dick cut off. And I interviewed a doctor and he was like, so what do you call a guy then that got a penis added and became a man? And I go, uh, gross. I'm like, man, if I did that right now, Jesus Christ, would I be in trouble? I think everyone kind of realizes where they turned on all this stuff. I remember there was a moment where I used to do jokes about, you know,

calling shit gay or whatever. And I remember my brother who's gay kind of saying, you know, could you not, it was around the time where Louis CK was doing his joke about, you know, the who to call a fag and this and that. And I remember him asking me that and then kind of being like, yeah, why not? And then I remember everyone saying like, yeah, that's, you can't say gay.

And it was a whole thing. And I was like, yeah yeah that's you can't say gay and it was a whole thing and I was like yeah no I'm not that's it I could tell that this wasn't about not saying gay and hurting people's feelings I could tell that there was something else going on here and this was a bad faith asking and I always described it as it was kind of like this is what the world did with all those worlds they said hey you walked into a bar and a guy's like yo could you not look at my girlfriend if you don't mind I thought you know could you not check on my girlfriend I'm like a little insecure about it and it felt like you were trying I go yeah yeah well dude yeah no problem and then like 10 minutes later he's like yeah don't look at my girlfriend I go yeah I said I wouldn't he's like

that's fucking right you better not look at my girlfriend and then he comes in he goes yeah me and my boys all said if you fucking look at her girlfriend you're in trouble and then all your boys are there and you're like okay well then now we're fighting now I'm look at her girlfriend, you're in trouble. And then all your boys are there and you're like, okay, well then now we're fighting. Now I'm looking at your girlfriend. How about that? Now I'm staring into your girlfriend's eyes. Because this isn't about your girlfriend. This is about you trying to control me.

And it was obvious. So I remember specifically switching on all that stuff. And I remember even like, and I remember the audience kind of switching. Smart audiences could tell when they're being sold something now. Because I remember I had a joke. I've had a joke, like, making fun of gay people,

and I've also had a joke making fun of someone for being homophobic, and I've kind of had both of them, which was an actual story. There was, like, I was talking about gay stuff, and there was this lady that said gross once, and she was, like, missing a tooth, and I was doing a story about being, it's kind of funny being homophobic when you have no teeth. Because you're calling shit gross and you have't have, she was like missing a tooth. And I was doing a story about being, it's kind of funny being homophobic when you have no teeth because you're calling shit gross and you have no teeth or whatever. And then I remember doing that story and it's starting to feel like

pandering. So I kind of was like, I kind of stopped doing it because it felt like it with all the woke stuff, it felt like I was pandering. And I remember every black guy and every, you know, gay guys got some story about people being homophobic. You know what I mean? I know a comic that goes on stage and he's like, I was on a bus and a woman told me to go back to Africa. And you're like, yeah, that didn't happen. But, and if it did happen, that was not, that wasn't, that wasn't a woman. That was like a person that was like off their meds, like a homeless person. But I started kind of telling everyone that had stories like that.

I go, I smell a Jesse Smollett situation. So it started, it stopped kind of feeling like they were just, this was a story to be funny. And it started feeling like audiences are so skeptical of calls of racism. You know what I mean? Like I had a teacher and he called me the N word and everyone's like, yeah, did he though? Because the premise of the joke's always like, so being gay, everyone was calling me a fag and you know and you like can you believe these people why would you be and that would be the premise but it would always start with some version of like oppression they've felt whereas now when you go this guy's racist you're

kind of like is he though what did he do back in the day someone would be like this guy's racist and you're like oh shit that sucks and someone now they're all this guy's racist and you're like is he though or did you not like one of his tweets like all of those words have lost all their meanings so whenever you see a comedian on stage now and he's like he's gay or whatever and he's like so i'm out of fucking you know i'm at the supermarket and some guy walked by and bumps me and calls me a fag and punches me in the face because i'm gay and everyone in the crowd is like yeah i don't i don't know dude did that happen dude, did that happen? I don't really think so. But I've been loving like making fun of other comedians. It's like, we got a Jesse Smollett on our hands. It's been a funny thing for me to do. All right. The last thing I want to say about the diversity too,

speaking from a point of privilege, a point of privilege here, I'm not saying there isn't any, point of privilege, a point of privilege here. I'm not saying there isn't any, any, I'm not saying there isn't any advantages for being white or whatever, a man in any scenario, but I think they vary from thing to thing. But if you're two years into comedy and you're doing a big, huge showcase and you're booked on all the clubs and then you're like it's harder to be this well it's obviously not in that scenario it's objectively you're doing better than what a white person would be doing in that scenario obviously and I get it's like you know the idea is you're trying to even it whatever it doesn't matter my point is I don't want to hear about privilege from anyone in the world that works less hard than me that's the bottom line if you don't work to hear about privilege from anyone in the world that works less hard than me.

That's the bottom line. If you don't work, I know so many people that are on the internet all day tweeting about privileges, privileges. And I'm like, if you work less hard than me, I don't want to hear a peep about that. Because it doesn't matter. So even if we had the same amount of privilege, I'd be doing better than you. So it doesn't matter until if you, if I'm out doing shows three, you know, five nights, if I'm out doing shows seven nights a week, doing three shows a night, writing standup every day, doing all this podcast, making all these videos, and I'm doing way more stuff than you. And you're on the internet complaining about

that. It's easier to be me, but it's like, we don't, we don't know because you have not worked as hard as me. So I only want to hear about anything like that from people that work hard. I never want to hear a fucking peep about privilege from anyone that works less hard than me. And that's a, that's one thing that I, that's one thing that I've been getting out there a lot lately. It's like when someone's like, oh, it's easier to be you. And I go, I work twice as hard as you.

So why would I ever want to hear your opinion on any of this stuff? You literally sit at home with your partner, I assume is what you call them. And you complain on the internet and you pretend you're working. You do standup shows once every two weeks. And then you have the fucking audacity to say it's harder for you. Who knows? You wouldn't know. So to me, that is the grossest thing where lazy people have the fucking audacity to complain that it's harder for them. You don't know. And if you don't work hard, you would have no clue. Boys questions. All right. Someone sent me a article that was John Krasinski. It said John Krasinski met with the Marvel people and fans are losing it because I said that

Hollywood's trying to push John Krasinski. Fans are losing it. Yeah, no, they weren't. John Krasinski met with the Hollywood, the John Krasinski met with Marvel and people go, Oh my God, can you, John Krasinski is going to be Batman. I'm fucking losing it. No one cared. There's zero, all the fucking Krasinski heads were like, what? Krasinski is going to be Batman. Well, that makes my life. Ethan sent me, this was a big topic with women's soccer, but Ethan sent me the one, the U.S. women's soccer team, they wore no jerseys to protest equal pay. So they're doing all this stuff, the women's soccer team. This has been a hot topic forever is all the women's teams being like, we should get as much money as men.

And it's been debunked like 10,000 times where you're like, yeah, they make a thousand times less money and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And this is what the girls are doing. They're just trying to get what they want by bullying it. It's girls that want a relationship. Girls are like, they're dating you for a bit. And they're like, I want you to be my boyfriend and I want this and this and this. And they don't know how to get what they want. So they just bully it past what they deserve. And this relates into back what I'm saying before, where it's like, you're not going

to get the desired outcome by doing this. It might help your team. Maybe one person's going to get famous. But in general, I think this will just hurt your sport. It's just essentially girls being, it's just essentially you being difficult. You know what I mean? You're like, we want more money. You're just making it a nightmare for anyone to buy a soccer team. Like who, who would ever buy a girl's soccer team right now? You'd be like, this is a political nightmare. Who would want to own a women's soccer team? Where you're like, let me buy a women's soccer team. Let me get involved with women's soccer,

where everyone on the team is going to be protesting me nonstop. They're going to be protesting the networks. They'd be protesting that nonstop. They're going to be protesting the networks. They'll be protesting that you're like, who would get involved with this stuff? No one already wants to watch. And you're like, now I got to tune in and watch these girls give like all their political opinions and stuff like that. I don't know. I feel like there used to be a thing where if you had a job,

you would know not to be constantly getting your political opinions out there. Put it this way. When I was, I've done a lot of things where I had shoots where I hired people out of town and I would always look at their Facebook first to make sure they weren't like crazy political because I knew that they were going to be a nightmare because I don't want to be like watching, especially if we're trying to make something funny. I don't want to be watching. There's tons of people that message me. They're, they're real and their thing. And I'm like, this guy looks good. And then I go to his Facebook and it's all like, you know, he's like in Antifa and I'm like this guy looks good and then I go to his Facebook and it's all like you know he's like in Antifa and I'm like okay this guy's gonna be a nightmare he's posting all

his political statements he's like a member of a party and I'm like why don't I don't want that energy around when I'm trying to make a comedy sketch that doesn't have a political opinion because I'm gonna feel your energy of your your whatever you think and your political opinions even if you're not bringing it on set I just just know you're that guy. And most likely you will bring it on set the first chance you get, like everything will be fine. Then we'll break for lunch and someone will be like, someone will mention something about Trump and you'll go on a speech. And I'm like, Oh, now we're going to start lunch after you just started a big political fight with everyone. Do whatever you want. It's like, it's just that thing where girls don't know how to get what they want. If you want more and more money as a soccer player,

this would be my advice to women. If you, let's say it was more money. Let's say it was this. Let's say whatever, whatever the, the big, what's the big gripe of women. This is my advice to you. Stick to one point because you've intersectionalized yourself to the point where none of your points ever matter and no one takes them seriously. Even with sex assault, right? If the Me Too was your big thing and that was your whole argument, you're like, listen, Me Too is our number one point. We're not gonna get involved with the other stuff.

We're not gonna talk about race. Our number one point as women is we don't want to be harassed in the workplace. You can't also say that and then say, oh, also there's no difference between men and women. Because as soon as you clumped in things that people know are lies, everyone was out. You know what I mean? As soon as you clumped in that, and then you're like, and also trans people have more sex assault. And also, and you're like, what is, what are you even asking for me here? It just

sounds like you just want a million things. If your wife comes home and she's like, I want more money. And then I want you to hang out with me more. And then I want you to stop hanging out with this guy. I want you to do a different job. And you're like, I guess we should just get divorced then because I don't see any way for us to reconcile this. And if you come and you say, we have one as women, we've gotten together. And this is our big issue. We think that when we're in the workplace, our bosses and other people are making passes at us. They're kind of treating us like objects. And that is our number one issue. I think you could get that done, but you run it like the government where you try to cram 95

things in and you intersectionalize your way out of anyone caring. Because if you ask people for 9,000 things, no one cares. So is that the big issue that you want big, more money? Or is the big issue that people are sex assaulting? I'm not even saying potentially that some of these issues are right or wrong or whatever. I'm just saying from a straight up bargaining perspective, if you want something, you need to be a little bit more, you need to be a little more streamlined with what you actually want. Sex assault is our problem. And then you clump in 95 other things and no one wants to listen to you. You know, it's the same thing as this. If you're a girl and you're whatever, a left-wing girl, if you're like a super liberal girl, one of the big things is they're like,

you know, they're talking about all this sex stuff and they're, and they talk about sex stuff. And then they want to be like, we need to be more sex positive. And we need to talk about sex and everyone should be fucking everyone. But then also at the be like, we need to be more sex positive. And we need to talk about sex and everyone should be fucking everyone. But then also at the same time, we need to be not in the workplace. So in the workplace needs to be run like a church where essentially the rest of the world should be a sex club. Like the rest of your life should be a sex club. You should be out there fucking everyone you've ever met. But in the workplace, it should be run like a church. Even teachers in class, your teachers should be teaching you how to suck a dildo. That should be part of your class.

But except for in the workplace, that's the only difference. So if you work at McDonald's and you have an employee that you flirt with, you need to stay far away from them. You are in a church right now. But every one of our other articles is like, you should fuck everyone ever you met. Oh, except for this person. That's not like, so all of your arguments are so conflicting and you and then no one can follow what they're supposed to think and they just

check the fuck out if you and even if people don't agree that's the other part girls don't realize even if you don't agree people are still willing to give leeway on things they don't agree with if they think your request is reasonable you might have a dating a girlfriend and she comes home and she's like, listen, I think that our house is too dirty and it needs to be more clean. And I think this and this, and you might think you disagree with her. You're like, okay, she's being outrageous. Our place is fine, but she's being, but whatever. I'll agree. Fine. We need to do this more. People will agree to things they don't want to, that they disagree with if they think it's reasonable and in good faith a lot of times so it's the same reason this is i can name a hundred of them but how about this here's a perfect example

late of where ladies are you know our feminine kind of pushes are contradicting themselves they say okay we want a teach sex ed in school and stuff like that. They say, they're like, we should be teaching this in school. We should be teaching fucking sucking a dildo in school. We should be teaching trans stuff. We should be teaching about gay people. And then at the same time, they're really against private schools. And you're like, okay, but you want everyone to be for public schools where it's like we put all this money into public schools to teach their kids stuff that they don't agree with. So why would they want that? So it's either you're like,

you know, you either think that we should have public schools, but we teach stuff that everyone agrees on, or you think that this is the most important thing. And then everyone can teach whoever they want, because no one's going to say yes yes yes we should be teaching uh you know four-year-old kids how to be gay and suck a dildo and how and they should have trans storytelling hour and everyone should be on board with the fact that this is the best way so it's like obviously not you can't have both of those things so if you want to have you know if your big issue women is that we need to get paid more in sports, I honest to God think that whatever your thing is, people might get behind it,

but you can't have 95 things. Get your fucking agenda together. You know, women are, women have it hard. Then gay people want to say, why did you inherit 95 causes? Pick a cause and stick to it and stop telling people things that everyone disagrees with. That would be my advice to women. If you want to win an argument, if you want to get something from your husband, if you want to, as a gender, get something from the public without turning people way farther against your cause, like literally the effect of feminism is that everyone hates it now. That's what effect it had. Everyone hates it and woke shit's losing elections everywhere on the globe. That's, that's the effect that that stuff had. And so why is that? Well, because you asked people for 95 things at once and you didn't want to admit that you asked for it. You want them to

like it. You know what I mean? You would, you'd say, okay, we're replacing, you know, we're going to have, uh, there's, we're going to have, we're going to have, make sure that this writer room doesn't have, it's all diverse. And they want you to be, and not only do you have to be like, all right, fine. That's your thing that you want. You have to be pumped about it. You have to be like, yes, I'm being replaced. I've been replaced.

You have to be, they want you to be happy about it. It's the girl, you know what I mean? Like, I don't want you to just come. I want you to be happy about it. No, no, no, no. I will come. But part of the deal is I want to be praised if you're like I want you to come hang out with my friend that I hate if I don't want to do it and I'm really tired I'll come but I'd like to be constantly assured that I'm doing you a favor and that's fair so you know

if you have a thing that you're asking for that I don't want to give or the world in general doesn't want to give. You have to be somewhat grateful. You have to say thank you. Thank you for giving us our wages. You have to say thank you if you're forgetting your thing, whatever. If you get fucking trans storytelling in your schools or whatever, whatever, whatever your agenda is. I know you'd probably, if you actually had to pick one, think about that. What is your thing you actually want? Just nag society forever, always? We just want to nag you forever. Doesn't matter what it is. Okay, we got more money.

Well, we need more trans people teaching our kids. You just want to nag? Or do you actually have a thing that you want from us? What is it? Pick it. Pick a thing. Stop telling people things. Believe all women.

And you need to lose that nonsense. Believe all women. People just box themselves with these quarters. They go, believe all women. Now the Biden thing. I mean, too many people have talked about this cause it's already happened, but it is very funny that they go believe all women. And then it's like Biden and they're like, well, okay. So obviously that no one, I always said a good way to describe the believe all women. Whenever I was talking to women, they go, believe all women. I go, have you ever lied or have you ever lied? And they go, yeah, of course. Okay. So believe all women, but you, you've lied. You just admitted that you've lied. I know there's a few things in general that I've always like, don't believe, you know what I

mean? It's all those like mom science things too. You know what I mean? Like breakfast is the best meal of the day. The most breakfast is the most important meal of the day. And you're like, based on what? That doesn't mean anything. You're just saying words. There's so many things that people say that I'm all like, no, I don't know about this one, but I always, people always say your left brain or right brain. And that's never made sense to me. I understand certain people are some way or another way, but I don't, I don't believe, I don't believe that your left brain has one side and your right brain has the other side and this side. I believe that your brain's a big intricate thing and everything's working together

and everyone's somewhere on a spectrum. And I think these left brain and right brain things teach people to not be good at things that they think they're not good at. That's, I think it just justifies everyone. I can tell you that firsthand in math. That's why, you know, there's a reason why Americans do worse than math in China. Like some of it, we teach math in America, where you essentially don't know how things work. You just remember all the things. And it's impossible to learn anything until you understand how it's actually working.

Like if you can actually visualize what's happening when you divide a number by another number. So in China, they don't say three fourths. They say out of four, take three. And everyone can picture that in 10 seconds. So if you're a two year old and you say out of 10 things, take seven. Everyone knows there was 10 things and you took seven. But when you say seven tenths, no one really gets that. And you have to say seven tenths plus four fifths. And you're like, no, out of seven, you took three and out of four, you took five. And what those you say, and everyone can sort of make sense of that in their mind. You know, a lot of times it's like the way that we teach things, make people not understand them. And then they go, ah, I'm just, I'm just right-brained. I'm right-brained. I'm not, I don't have like a logical brain like that. Even the numbers, we have a weird number

system, like the 11, the 12, the teens, none of that makes sense. It should be one, two, one, three. And then it should be, you know, it should be zero, one, zero, two, zero, three. Then it should be one, two, one, two, one. Then it starts to make sense, but that's, you know, it doesn't make sense. So to me, the right brain, left brain was all fucking nonsense wrong side of history when they say wrong side of history i think ladies you should stop saying that because that's a bunch of bullshit you know especially when they the way that women talk about the wrong side of history because they go these people that's saying gay stuff and this and that's what you're like when in history has the one on the side of suppression of speech been on the right side of history find

me a time in history where the people clamping down on freedom of speech were on the right side of history. It's never happened. Probably will never happen. So you're wrong about that. You're not going to be on the wrong side of history with suppression of speech. And I get it. You're, you're using all these tactics just to get what you want, but it doesn't work. All right. Anyways, I'm going to wrap up here, but I got a pretty good, Anyways, I'm going to wrap up here. But I got a pretty good, I have Dick Masterson coming on the podcast next week. If you guys don't know who he is, check him out. Pretty fucking badass dude.

And he brought me on his show. He liked my videos and he brought me on his show. And if you want to check him out, back in the day, he went on Dr. Phil as this like male chauvinist. He was saying men are better than women. He had a book that said men are better than women and a website. And then this girl goes, girl, what girl would everyone have sex with you in the crowd of Dr. Phil? And he goes, I'll tell you what I would. He goes, girls are lining up to fuck me.

And she goes, yeah, well, I'd be at the back of that line. And he goes, well, maybe if you stepped on the treadmill, you'd be a little farther up that line. Like boom, super fucking interesting dude. He's got this huge podcast. He's one of those big Patreon guys that, you know, makes like 500 grand a year on Patreon or whatever. So if anyone thinks there's any questions you want me to ask them, let me know. Cause I'm going to have them on next week. And that's pretty exciting. Probably one of my, I guess that'd be my first like famous guest to have on the podcast. So that's kind of cool. Everyone that's been sharing all my videos. I think that's been fucking awesome. Take a screenshot, post it on Instagram. That's my favorite thing. I really, it really honestly does help. Tell your friends, take a screenshot, post it on Instagram, send me articles to the

boys cast with Ryan long at gmail.com. And thanks for paying attention to The Boys Cast. Let me know anything you want to talk about, and let me know if you have any questions for next week. Okay, peace!