The Boyscast with Ryan Long - INFLUENCERS GONNA INFLUENCE!

Episode Date: September 17, 2021

The Met Gala is for girls, Sleeping with men isnt gay, norm macdonald and activism in comedy patreon.com/theboyscast sheathunderwear.com promocode: ryanlong DATES! NEW YORK STANDUP SPECIAL TICKET LINK! - https://thestandnyc.com/shows/2021-10-21 BLOOMINGTON, MN - SEPTEMBER 23-25 CHICAGO, IL -OCT OCT 4-6 AUSTIN, TX - OCTOBER 12-13 PLANO, TX - OCT 14-16 PHEONIX, AZ - DECEMBER 9-11 Tickets at RYANLONGCOMEDY.COM TIMECODES! 0:00 Intro Music 0:10 Did You Know That Sleeping With Men Isn't Gay? 4:28 Comedy Store Fight Story Continuation 13:36 The Met Gala 31:02 Influencer Gets Caught Trying To Make Her Son Cry For The Camera 39:40 Nicki Minaj's Friend Gets Vaccine Side Effects 43:54 Norm Macdonald Dies At Age 61 1:02:24 Sheath Underwear Ad - Promocode: ryanlong 1:04:00 Joe Rogan Suing CNN? 1:06:23 Activism Kills Comedy 1:36:02 Patreon Supporters Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And you can tell our friends, and they can have my things when we're dead But we don't have forever, but we don't have forever Do you know that straight men can have sex with men and not be gay? They can. My first few of it. They can. It is a big day for Danny Polisjack on The Boys Cat. Oh, fuck yeah. Do you know that straight men can have sex with men?

Yes. And not be gay? Yes. They can. My first few videos were about straight men having gay sex. And I'm getting activity again in comments that people don't understand that straight men can be attracted to the sex act. Duh. But not to the man.

to the sex act but not to the man straight men having sex with men doesn't cancel somebody's heterosexuality any more than a straight woman having sex with a woman danny is all ears i mean honestly when he said that straight woman with a woman thing uh goes you make a good point i don't know he does not make a good i mean we all know a lot of fucking women who aren't gay who have had sex with women okay here's here's the difference though if you're a guy what he's saying is explain it to me drop some knowledge on here right i don't you know i'm gonna leave it because i don't want to wreck your world right now yeah drop some you're having a good day it's not a good day i just found out i'm straight i don't want to make you feel like you won the lottery and then take it away from you that easily. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like on the driving to go cash in and it flies out the window. Ah! That's what happens. And I didn't want to take that away from you. Your eyes are lighting up like the fucking... I mean, I'm straight now. Two molten lavas.

The type of thing that you wake up and the S&P 500's up 6%. It's the only thing that could make you that happy. You find out that the- I've never been straighter. The Federal Reserve is propping up the stock market again. It's the only thing that can put that kind of light in your eyes. Dan's got to call his parents.

Uncome out of the closet. Back out, or I don't know exactly. Hey, Grandma. Who is that? Good news. Oh, he doesn't know. He's acting like i don't know exactly hey grandma who is that good news uh oh he doesn't know he's acting like he doesn't know who uh who is that who is that guy it could be anyone never heard of that guy i've never seen his literature it's not a type of guy it's funny following did he put the music on that that's weird danny uh polishuk likes this TikTok video.

This guy's on TikTok, and his whole thing is like, dude, I'm not freaking gay, okay? Yeah, just because I have sex. I like this, because he put the soundtrack of The More You Know, kind of. It's like, having sex with men isn't gay. it's funny having sex with men isn't gay just because there's a dick down your throat you are still a straight you are people call you the arrow you're straight as shit see you at church on sunday well to me i go if anything i would say it's the reverse because the sex part, the part that makes you gay. Whereas the other part where if you're like, hey, I just like live with this guy.

We're essentially in a relationship, but we never have sex. That's called a buddy. Yeah. It's called a roommate. Yeah. Right. You go, oh, me and my roommate. It's just the two of us nonstop chilling.

We do everything a relationship would do except for no sex stuff we don't cuddle you know we have separate rooms it's the only part that makes you gay it's true if i was right you remember we were talking about how like girls are in college and they have no idea what their sexual like identity is they're like i have no they're blank girls are blank slates yeah i know but you think there's any guy who just gets a roommate for the first time and he's like, am I gay? Like just in residence, you know, his first roommate. And he goes, huh, I'm living with a man that's not related to me.

Am I gay? Am I gay? This is a pretty gay thing. I'm living with another man. I have basically a live-in gay partner. Yeah. I mean, when I was in res, did you have a roommate or did you have one of the singles? I had a single, like a man. See, I had a roommate, like a a man. I have basically a live-in gay partner. Yeah. I mean, when I was in res, did you have a roommate or did you have one of the singles? I had a single, like a man.

See, I had a roommate, like a gay man. I'm just here with my partner. I love our body. He's got like a work partner and I'll only referring to him as partner. You know, like, oh, Jesse will be there. His partner will be in attendance. His business partner so i have an update by the way on on the comedy story so last week as everyone uh knows i get there was a huge fucking fight of the pair right guy got the you know shit tuned out of them yeah and not gay way but just like in the way that

your roommate might yeah i was laughing i was making me laugh because i just realized how fucking stupid i am because every time you ever get something stolen like how many times have you had like a phone stolen or something and you're so oh call the cops and you're like for what you know what i mean yeah of course so the cop can come and dude i've had people come and broke break into the house and the cops they're just like you go are you even writing anything down he goes listen we're not gonna do anything the fucking murder rate in the city is sky high they do nothing right especially now when everyone hates them they show up and

they the guy pretends to write stuff so but in my opinion at the time i was like oh um i don't want to rat on the guy that's what i was was saying last show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There ain't no snitch. Right. And at the time, we were all saying we're not snitches. Because basically, host of the show beat the guy up, bloody pulp, cops everywhere. And they were trying to interview people. And everyone was like, no one says nothing.

And we all thought we were mobsters at the time. We're very like, yeah, that's what it is. You know what I mean? We go down with the shit. It's like Bronx bronx tale everybody's like i ain't seen nothing we basically were all saying that i ain't seen shit man you don't know what it is it's like why are you talking like that so anyways and i kind of left being like oh and then the next day the guy who runs the show i i went back there the other day the fucking uh the host or the guy who runs the show you know he told me he was like uh yeah the detective came back the next day and he was like hey listen i'm a detective

but also it doesn't take a detective to know the guy said it was the host of the show and the host is on the flyer so uh he goes you can give me the guy's number we can oh really yeah the detective put it together in two seconds yeah that's funny he goes uh you know i am a detective but uh yeah i can anybody can figure this one out yeah yeah i didn't you i guess i sort of thought of that but for some reason i was just like i thought the cop would kind of be like hey listen it's a cold case file well i guess everybody was like i ain't snitching and they were hoping that the guy who got assaulted was also like look i ain't no snitch and you're like so why are we here then i don't get it it's literally the guy the guy who got a fucking punch

was like it was the host you look around there's flyers everywhere i know that's funny i guess everyone's just expecting the the guy who got assaulted to have a code as well. Yeah. Well, anyways, he didn't have a code. And that guy's going to jail. That guy's pressing charges. Oh, fuck. So that's, you know. That's a bummer.

What was it? Were you saying something about a theft? I thought you said something. Not there. Oh, not there. Oh, okay. But I was saying it's just the same thing. Oh, okay.

It's the same thing. You don't expect cops to do anything. Oh, I thought you were going to say there was a theft. Well, you know what I remember? So I remember at Imperial, I used to host a show in toronto and then there was uh andrew pack remember and you know anyway so he fucking was like doing a set and he put his remember at the back of the room it was like there was nobody there that night three people he put his phone to record a set it was like a brand new iphone then he got off stage his phone

was gone come on right and so he was like what happened but that was it was super sketchy area like if you know it's young and dundas square it's like the equivalent of time square it's really sketchy kind of a lot of seedy people she's like my fucking phone's got he's really upset and then he got someone to do like to find his iphone and so he tracked it down exactly because it was like when it was good it's in my ass no no because he's like he's like i track it down and so he goes to this like shady apartment building you know the ones like near young and dundow square because he found it and then he got there and he like found the apartment and everything he locked knocked on the door and like the guy opens he's like what the fuck do you want he's like you have my phone the guy's like no i don't packard's like yeah i guess

i'm not about to fight this guy like what am i gonna do and then he's like but he's like he got to the point where he's like i'm gonna go to go track this guy down. Tracks him down. He goes, yeah, I guess I'm out of a phone. Like he was expecting the guy to be like, oh yeah, you got me. Here you go. Even if you call the cops, they go, what can they do? They can't search the guy's house. If they go to the guy's house and they go, I remember when I was a kid, I got a bike stolen and that's happened.

I go, this is my bike. And then fucking the guy had it. And it was like some fucking guy that stole everyone's bikes. Like an older fucking kid. I'm 12 at the time or whatever. Call the cops and the cops just go and the guy goes, nah, this is my bike

and the cop goes, it's his bike now. Yeah, possession is nine-tenths of the law. Yeah, so anyways, nothing you can do. But no. Other than brick your, Apple made us,

you know, you can just brick your phone. That's, they gave you that little feature. It's the only option. Where they go, you know what? Nobody gets this phone.

That's the only new option is to go, i was also at beauty bar so josh uh card who's in uh he was in the a couple sketches uh the fucking the basketball basketball yeah yeah black dude and he goes um i did a show and you only this is the kind of stuff that when people say oh brooklyn or whatever and you you hear about new york and it sounds like a joke and you only, this is the kind of stuff that when people say, Oh, Brooklyn or whatever, and you, you hear about New York and it sounds like a joke, but I went to this show and I got on stage and there's, you know, 20 people in the audience or whatever.

And there's three Brooklyn ladies in the front. And I, I go, it was mostly girls. Amazing hair. Um, you know, very,

you know, cliche Brooklyn ladies, tens, very fashionista. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I start the show and I was like, oh, okay, it's mostly ladies here. And the girl literally fucking stands up and she goes, ladies?

No. I'm not kidding. And you go, females? She goes, females? What? She literally did the joke where she goes goes you're assuming that we're all women no that's what she was mad about so she goes you're just assuming that we're all women here and then i go i go and then i literally did the thing where i go okay so i'm gonna do a poll uh

here you're right i i shouldn't have uh uh got it got it wrong or whatever that was on me i go so put your uh put your hand up if uh if you're a man sitting on that couch. And then no one put their hand up. I go, oh, phew, it looks like I nailed it then, didn't I? I go, and I kind of popped. I go, you got it right. You are so right because I took a shot in the dark there. And what were they like?

We're not men or ladies. No, they were like, we are. But you ladies no they're they're like we are but you should you don't fucking know that that's insane is that we got a bunch of white people here tonight they go what yeah white people you're not white you go i am but you you go am i in a fucking my comedy sketch right now am i in one of my sketches right now it's it's real that's amazing i couldn't believe the best part is they were probably like angry about that like all night like they left and were probably like can you fucking they were they were pissed off i did good too they were and it wasn't they uh and i don't say they in the way that they want me to say they it wasn't the

three of them it was the one the other two and after we got to the bottom of what was going on the two of them they all went to college together yeah now it's four years later the other girl's like i'm fucking married i work at a bank she got together with her old college friend to go to a comedy show and i'm first comic she could she's 15 minutes into the comedy show the The girl goes, you think we're women? The girl's like, I don't do this whole thing anymore. That was a phase four years ago. I dyed my hair brown again. I have a kid.

Yeah, my activism days are over. Isn't that crazy? That's so funny. I had one more kind of the other way. Amazing heckle, though. Yeah. The yeet? I won't say where it was was but there's an edgy comic

but i but it's always funny when the the when the super edgy comic the other way is kind of like new so it's not it's not doing very good right but the funny part was he goes he's like you know doing the thing he goes i'll fucking piss on a mexican corpse and you know stick my dick through the skull. Anyway, I walked in when this is happening, right? He's like bombing and he's very like, oh, it's a pussy audience. Oh, you can't handle it. So he's doing all that stuff.

And then it kind of pauses for a second. He goes, all right, so let's get the show started. Who's ready for the first comic? He's hosting. Oh, no. The edgy host. Well, he goes, all right, so you guys ready for some comedy tonight? Don't forget to tip your server.

America has the weird. He's hosting. Yeah, America has the weird thing, though, with comedy where they're like, you just put the worst comic on as the host. I guess. They go, we're like, I don't know what it is here, but here, just the hierarchy's different where it's like, the host is just the worst comic to get out of the way. But then you're like, yeah, and then that happens where the guy goes, oh, I'm fucking this Mexican corpse.

Anyways, we want some comedy. It's so funny when you're supposed to be the host, the guy that's like, all right. You know, you're essentially a cheerleader, right? I was like, oh, shit, this show's not going good. And then he just pauses for a second. He goes, all right, so I'm going to be bringing eight comics up tonight i was i don't know i was sitting at the back of the room being like oh yeah solid fuck yeah bro that's solid sometimes you get these little gifts from comedy oh yeah it's fucking loving it so big news the met gala happened oh i loved it and this is very much solidifying the fact that fashion is for girls

yeah there is no there's also guys who could dress as girls yes this was giving me when i was watching so every you know there's a lot of the social justice post so everyone was getting mad at aoc and all this stuff but i was i was more just getting flashbacks to dating a fashion stylist for two years and having to see this stuff where it's like look this is fashion at the top of its game and it's like a girl on a burlap sack oh yeah i know i mean all the guys everybody who was like oh here are the best dressed guys they're just like guy in a dress yeah that's the guy in a dress well we'll go through our top picks yeah me top picks yeah i think it's very important but it was it fashion reminds me of you know you know when you go to see a fucking band and or not to see one but even you i'm sure you've seen videos or

whatever and the noise band where it's a guy rolling on the ground hitting some spoons together and other guys playing like a cheese grater. And it sounds like nothing, right? Yeah. And then you hear, and then everyone goes, they're so brilliant. Of course. That's what the fashion is where you, you know, you see a guy come in and he's got like a strainer on his head. And they go, who designed this?

He's a living legend. It kind of reminded me of I went to this uh jazz show and it was the three people were all playing and what's basically is the type of jazz where everyone's essentially playing in a different it could be playing in a different room might as well because they're all playing such different things but the funny part is they're all like classic songs so they go you know and this one we're playing this is a huge hit was one of the biggest hits of its time a standard and then it's when the drummer's like this was a hit this is the biggest hit well probably a big jazz are they songs that like

are redone and you are like, what a wonderful life? And you go, I think that's that. But it's like, that's what you mean. You play that. You go, I see this why I hit. But they go, this was on the top 40 for 50 years straight. Pew, pew, doo, doo. Ding, ding, boom.

Bing, boom. And the drummer's just hitting some stuff like... 40 years on the top of the charts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's poppy. That's funny. Actually, just a quick funny story. I went to tennis. The US Open was on the weekend.

Girls tennis. I saw you. No, I went to the men's. I went to the men's finals. I went to the girls too. Okay. They were all good. If you went to the finals... If you went to the men's i went to the men's finals i went to the girls too okay um they were all good if you went to the finals you went to the women's the finals wasn't that good but it's just the men's because you're gay because you're gay uh but there was this one guy

sitting behind us i just couldn't because you know like tennis is all the players they go they yell when they hit the ball they go ah there was a guy behind me he was like a diehard like tennis dude it's so weird too because people first off people heckle there and then people shush them like the crowd shushes the rest like a golf crowd but the golf crowd doesn't shush it it's like the people who work there will be like quiet please whereas in tennis it's literally like people like go and then everybody in the crowd's like in unison they go yeah no no they all shush everybody but there was a guy behind me and every time the ball guy right behind it was fucking obnoxious as shit every time he'd go like that you go

like he couldn't like he it was like painful for him to watch it so they hit the ball he go you didn't get action i don't know but he was like oh he was the biggest tennis fan in the world where this was painful for him because he was like he was like every shot yeah he goes he was into it like and me and my buddy were looking we're like what the fuck and he just goes you should have no you didn't have the we should have we should have and there was two ladies knitting beside us stop it i swear to god there's no there wasn't two i swear to god two grandmas at the u.s open men's final so they're two wacky people besides they're just knitting eating candies like they're like a classic grandma shit just eating a bag of candies and they're like they're barely watching

these tickets were like not cheap okay they're like how much is a ticket 400 bucks a piece a piece for the u.s open finals and these grandmas are fucking knitting and then the guy behind me is just like every shot. I was like, that's so weird. Tennis fans. Tennis fans. They're a fucking weird bunch. That's fucked.

Well, I want to start by saying the Met Gala, me personally, as a fashionista, I would say topping the charts, we come through Kanye West

and his girlfriend some no-namer wearing full black now this is just a quirky guy letting people know that he's the quirkiest of the bunch he's a quirky man not afraid to show you his quirks he's saying I'm here I'm quirky and I don't care who knows

I liked what would you wear? I know exactly what I would't care who knows. I liked, what would you wear? I would. I know exactly what I would wear. I would wear a shirt, you know, because I don't know if you saw, what's her name? The Rapinoe. She said. Megan Rapinoe, yeah.

She said, in gay we trust. So what I would wear is I'd come with a shirt that said, I'm with queer. And an arrow pointing beside me. And then people would say, are you calling them queer? And I said, yes, and that's a compliment. And I'm not just with that queer. I stand with all queers.

That's pretty brave. Yes. I would wear, this is what I would wear. I would wear a white Hanes t-shirt with pizza stains on it. To send the message to people that I am a pedophile. I have kids in my basement. And I would wear that.

And then I would also wear circa like 1999 pair of oversized and one basketball shorts. That would be my fit. If you did wear that, the people would come out and they go, what an outfit, folks. This is a throwback. You can see the designer did not want to, he wanted to say,

you know what? I don't care that we're in this era. I'm going to throw back to that era. And if you notice the socks are not matching, this is anything that does a statement. Yeah, of course. That's what I'm saying is because the statement people would be like,

what's, what's he trying to say with the and one oversized basketball shorts yeah what what what state what are you saying about the patriarchy with those and one basketball shorts asap rocky just wore a blanket yeah showed up with his blanket possibly that was honestly i think that i think that yeah i was gonna say that looked similar to what they were knitting maybe that's what they were doing is they go got to get this fucking thing done. But we also want to watch this tennis. But I got tagged probably.

You know, it also shows you that activism is for girls too. Where you go, like all this activist shit is for girls the same way that fashion is for girls. And that's why they're so hand in hand. But I got tagged probably a thousand times in the Cara Delevingne or whatever. Cavaril Devine. Cavaril Devine. What? She wore a Peg the Patriarchy shirt.

Oh, the Peg the Patriarchy was the best one. That was the Peg the Patriarchy was. I was watching and I was just thinking. This, I would not want to be the patriarchy right now. This patriarchy is taking it up the ass jail style with no lube. You know, your dad right now who represents the patriarchy right now. This patriarchy is taking it up the ass, jail style with no lube. You know, your dad right now who represents the patriarchy has a dildo shoved down his throat. Does the patriarchy

even exist anymore after this past weekend? I don't know. You think that took care of it. I think the rich people are poor and the patriarchy doesn't exist. Now, this is a black dildo that the patriarchy is getting pegged with. Now, which does lead you to beg the question.

I'm not sure if this was the intention of the artist, but when I'm watching this, it makes you think. Is it cultural appropriation to peg the patriarchy with a black dildo? Probably. You got to peg it with like some off color, like a purple. You know something where you go, nobody owns this uh yeah you said troy swan just wore a dress you are right it is what do you mean it's true there's like pete davidson wore like a dress like i saw 10 guys who would just go here's his outfit and it's like just a dress yeah that's it kind of was and they always kind of compare it to like bowie wear addresses

like yeah but it wasn't all of them. You know, once everyone's wearing a dress, it actually would, to be honest, what you said before, once every single person that is wearing a dress, the like go against the grain fashion style would be like blue jeans and a fucking American flag. Exactly. You show up dressed like Toby Keith. You know what I mean? mean yeah that's the thing is that's why you're like ashton kutcher von dutch hat back in the day yeah that's back yeah because you go do you think when nine different designers and they all show up with dresses and they go fuck you totally you gotta tell me pd you're gonna tell me you were gonna

wear a dress yeah i don't know you guys were all wearing a dress. I saw that. There was the MTV Awards, too, with fucking, where Conor McGregor almost... A fought Machine Gun Kelly. So silly, but... Machine Gun Kelly, I literally think,

he's... You know how they talk about, you know, everyone always talks about cultural appropriation. Sometimes it's bullshit, sometimes it's not, but I've sort of agreed with it

because I do get the idea of the mainstream not liking a culture and then stealing it and why that's annoying right machine gun kelly's hot topic four different cultures he literally does just go culture to culture and turn it into like a hot topic slogan yeah and music genres he goes now i'm gonna fucking wreck this music genre it's like hey what kind of stuff you into he goes i'm listening it's like you know he could turn avant-garde jazz into a fucking hot topic thing like he'd be like showing up with a pipe and stuff like that and be like have a heroin needle taped to his arm like i'm a heroin jazz guy heroin jazz is so in right now that'd be the best if that's his new one

Is just jazz I hope so See him at the blue note just being like That's what he would do He'd go Oh shit The gods did not like us talking about You do not talk shit about Machine Gun Kelly

Hot topic Kelly Fucking thing just fell down We have a lot of good outfits out there We have Dan Levy wearing About Machine Gun Kelly. Hot topic, Kelly. Fucking thing just fell down. We have a lot of good outfits out there. We have Dan Levy wearing also. I like Dan Levy's one. Very poppy. You like the poppy outfit. At least he's gay.

Yeah. Like, at least when you go, he's gay, you go, all right, I guess. That's just like, it's just like the small talk. You know, like, there's one thing to be like, okay, we wear this. You get inside. You go, fuck, done with this thing. Go put on your regular clothes for like, but're like just sitting at your table and you're like like you know you're like fucking getting food on your i guess you don't eat and that stuff you can't like right i like

i should be anorexic like what's going on inside of this like my favorite was um grimes because she just brought it she wear she wore this what did she wear she brought brought the sword from Halo. She brought a sword. And then she... It's a quirky girl also. And then for further quirkiness, she attempted to behead Timothy Chalamet. Timothy Chalamet probably went home that night

thinking, close call. Close call. Grimes almost took care of me. Yeah. I would say top of the social the the social activism take making the world a better place was give women equal rights now this was a dress worn by carolyn maloney which the thing about this dress which it really does make you think because women do in fact have equal rights at the time of wearing which sort of leaves up to the imagination

what she could mean by this piece. Maybe she wants women to be able to drive. And what she does mean is she doesn't mean it's possible that what she's saying is not that women need equal rights by the law. It's that they say God needs to give them ability to drive that car without crashing. That's fair. God gives them ability to do mathematical equations. Not so far.

Not so fast. Let's not get carried away. Actually, you know what was funny? So Kim Kardashian, if you saw, she showed up in this like basically a burqa. Oh my God. Yes. So quirky. I know, but she basically, it's funny because she showed everybody's like, oh, look at this

fashion statement. And then I saw on Twitter like two days ago, something from afghanistan and it was like some woman trying to like uh do something like shop and i'm like they're wearing the same thing kim k fans kim i guess kim k is starting a trend over in afghanistan i actually saw taliban chic i actually saw an article um that said uh this year's met Gala theme attempted to be all inclusive of all American identities except mine. And it was, where were the hijabs on the red carpet?

Yeah, Kim K had one, but they were mad because they said, well, look at this. The fucking gays are swimming in representation. Gays are represented to the fucking lesbian tits. To the point where straight guys are fucking, like guys in the NFL are wearing dresses.

You're like, man, gay representation's out of hand. But the burger representation, it is a big fight for that where it's, they go, what the fuck? And then there's like a disabled guy in a wheelchair being like, representation everybody was represented other than anybody who can't afford thirty thousand dollars a ticket and the patriots weren't represented didn't see a single american flag no zero people with a tribute to the troops yeah Yeah, like the Joy Vila or whatever, where she wears the build-the-wall dress to the fucking...

To the Met Gala, you go... You didn't see that. No, you didn't see that. But, well, okay, we can stop going through Met Gala things, but the fucking... I guess the only... There was the... I almost did feel like with the AOC thing,

where when she did the... It was a bit she goes she goes to this fancy thing and then obviously it's stupid but it is also stupid a little bit to be one of the 50 year old guys that's kind of part of the choir being like can you believe this well also because that's's what you literally fell for it. Yes. And it's like, these aren't Paul, these aren't activist things. They are.

How do I get more Instagram followers? These people are all influencers. Absolutely. And the worst take for people were making was to go, Oh my God. Like she's fucking, she spent 30. She obviously did not spend $30,000 on a ticket.

Well, they give it, they give them the ticket. Well, they give Kabul because it's a, it's like a New York city because the, have you ever been to the Met?30,000 on a ticket. Well, they give them the ticket. Well, because it's like a New York City. Have you ever been to the Met? It's just like a museum. And anyways, because she's a congresswoman or whatever,

and she represents New York, they just have New York people, because it's about preserving. It can't be about preserving the fucking museum at this point. But everybody was like, oh my God. She's all taxed the rich. And you're like, no, she didn't pay thirty thousand dollars for a ticket sure i do wonder though if she has to pay taxes on that for receiving a thirty thousand dollar some people there's some

yeah problems with that but to me it's more you know whatever like there is a genre of being a internet communist that makes you rich and that's the. And that's the moral of the story. Being a tax the rich person is a fruitful endeavor. But what I will say is if you are the same reason that it's very hard to be a really good comedian. If you are really friends with everyone in Hollywood. The same way that south park if you want to be a satirist of sorts you can't if you want to be happy on the ends it's you you can't be doing an accurate diagnosis of politicians and political political figures and then you're also

at all the parties with them texting with them of course you go i I'm just want to, I think this is the best party. And it's like, well, they're all your friends. The same way that my small group of friends, you're not going to get an adequate people. When people come up to me and they go, Danny's fat. I go, listen, I don't get involved. He's bursting out of that tax the rich dress. Yeah, they go, Danny's fat.

He's got a small D. I go go it is above medium so you can't you can't when you say you're like i'm whole i'm the holding people accountable person yeah you can't you you just it's just you can't possibly be the holding people accountable person when those people are your friends no but no no whatever i mean on on that i don't know if we want to segue but just only because it's interesting so uh norm mcdonald well i do want to segue into norm mcdonald but on the influencer topic for one more second there was a only because i watched an interview with him and this is kind of interesting

in that regard but yeah yeah my point was that if you look at influencers, all of these politicians and political kind of figures, I feel like it doesn't get remembered enough that yes, they're bullshit. Yeah, of course. It's like these are influencers. So this influencer that was out there, which is no different than all these politicians

and stuff like that. It's literally build a following and that following could be used as capital to either gain money or try to get elected to some shit, right? But it's funny when you get caught. So there was this girl. Oh, this is the best.

Nuts, right? So this is hard to watch, folks. And we won't go through the whole thing, but a woman woman got caught i'm sure maybe some of you've seen this but she's and i know i know people like this but she got caught trying to make her son cry she didn't get caught she fucking accidentally uploaded a video her son's dog died and she is consoling him while he's bawling his eyes out. And then she accidentally uploaded the raw file, which I've done. Yeah. Because you name the file.

Let's say you name the file dog video. And then you export the file that you edited called dog video. And then you accidentally upload the original one, which you maybe name the same thing, which I've done multiple times where I've sent the wrong file i send the raw version or whatever right yeah or maybe you have one video that you uploaded where it's like black for an hour or something yeah in solidarity brother yeah people go why was there a fucking eight minutes of black at the end of your video you go why isn't there why is there a fucking eight minutes black at the end of every video but But so she,

she deleted all her socials. I'm just going to play a little of this cause it's fucking, it was one of those things where I go, just remember all of these people are this. Yeah. How many times, I mean, how many times on your,

on your original life, um, have you been with like a chick? I remember being with my ex and going out on halloween nightmare of a night right yeah she at one point she fucking she she's on the fucking the white yeah oh yeah she's yelling and screaming she goes that's it i'm fucking going home no one's saying anything she goes you're not paying attention to some shit like that right i've got one she runs across the road she you know having a big tantrum, right?

And then she goes, I'm getting in a cab. And then she sort of stands in the cab like, are you getting me? I go, okay, fine, whatever, go home. She goes, maybe I won't go home. Hey, I'll go to another bar. You know what I mean? It's all this sort of stuff, right? Yeah, just child.

But during all that, managed to get a couple good photos, wakes up the next morning. I get tagged in like, amazing night. What a dream. Halloween's a dream dream love my life love people i go that was maybe the worst night in history and she's got one photo of us with the beers up like yeah yeah there's like a photoshop slightly like she photoshops like a smile on your face yeah i was fucking frowning there you go yeah if you zoom down you have your fucking shoes off out on the road but so anyway this is the first part of this video give me we have to do this look at me she's going to be okay repeat this say rosie is healthy look at me rosie

is healthy look at me rosie's beautiful and you might think okay it's on your super that's what you might think by the way i know it's because i record it like that, but that's how I listen to it. But the point is, I'm going to fast forward to where it gets fucking wild. But this is, even if you're listening to audio, it's still fine. Come closer. Come closer. Come closer. Come closer.

Put your head over here. Come closer. Come closer. Put your head over here. Act like you're crying. I am crying. That's the worst part. She goes, act like you're crying. He goes, I am crying. That's the worst part. She goes, act like you're crying.

He goes, I am crying. She goes, cry better. Is that? And she goes, the craziest thing is because she's been in the YouTube game for so long that she goes, look, this video will do better if we can see your mouth. Because she keeps saying, she goes, put your hand like this. He goes, my hand is like this. She goes, no, no, no.

Get your hand out of your way so we can see the mouth because the mouth gets more clicks if we can see the mouth i mean it's one of those things where nobody wants to see how like the youtube sausage gets made you know but you know i've been on reality shows yeah i've been we the thing is that's why when i guess sometimes you see aoc doing her publicity stunts or whoever it's like I know these fucking people too often too much I grew up I've been in entertainment for my whole life I know I've dated influencers

I know how they operate even the ones that are activist oriented and we know that but for her fans they're probably like what like you know how many people how many girls have you ever talked to you go i love reality tv show you go yeah it's not real like it's all scripted and they go no it's not it's real they don't get it you go no no it's all scripted there's a producer look at they have

writers yeah they have writers the way they edit it and everything you're like it's all like it's none of it's real it's it's the maybe a thread of reality and it's like mostly scripted and they go and they're like what like you know you could tell their figure they go what like yeah so when you're arguing and i get listen i'm fine to watch wrestling and argue about you know who should have won and who had a better performance but just know that's what you're doing yes yeah but i'm sure a lot of this person's fans were like really like wait you've been lying to me this whole time it's tough to watch oh that's so i mean you it's like borderline child abuse i know you're like i'm watching like some some version of like a very mild it's impossible yeah it's impossible to grow

up and not be a fucking freak if you grow up like that? Dude, if you grew up in a household called the Polish Chucks, your mom, Daniel, the price of gold went down. Cry more. I am crying. Daniel, come closer. She goes, you can cover your face.

I'm going to cry. Make sure you cry. That's the worst. You know what the really sad? I'm crying. And I don't know about this, but I'm sure at some point, too, you're like, we're living really well because of this. So then you become beholden to the whole thing.

I know. Because your lifestyle is tied to the money coming in. You go, hey, do you remember that fucking Disney World trip? Yeah, you go. Well, put on the waterworks, pal. We're going to fucking disneyland yeah you get fucking so i even i'm telling you i've just dated these chicks and it's like there is something so annoying about i mean obviously but when you're the dinner thing where

imagine when you're at like a, you're just going, we'll just hang out tonight. And then she, she has to put on a fucking outfit. So, so she can like eat dinner at a table with you. And then she's making the dinner filming that. And then you sit down and it's like filming the food, filming this.

You're just like, your life is hell. Oh yeah. Yeah, for sure. Where you're like, you go to the foods and you grab your fork and she goes what are you doing i go i'm eating she goes yeah not yet what are you what are you gonna fucking i gotta take photos and action yeah

you have to pretend you go enjoy like you like it you go i do like it more i don't make a whole scene when i'm eating It's basically they turn their entire life The way that porn stars turn sex Yeah Just fake And again I'm sure people Some people Like when Danny's having sex with a girl

He goes oh let me guess you're faking it again The cameras are on She goes yeah yeah yeah that's why Yeah yeah yeah Yeah I don't know that was fucking cringey as shit, though. I know, but it is what... Is it back? Do you know if her...

All I'm saying is my point is all of this shit is this. Oh, for sure. The whole fucking world. Every politician that goes out there and goes... You know how many people that I know personally that have done multiple takes of their, just want you to know that black people are people. For sure.

Sorry, sorry, sorry. I just want you to know that women should have the right to be aborted. You know what? They watch it again? I don't know know like they're very precious about their yeah i should i said aborted i should have said aborted aborted aborted is it aborted or aborted yeah so it's it's a gross world out there folks but you think she's gonna what do you think her move is i think she's done for a bit like but does she come back and say hey like i like is is it like the guy getting busted for like like uh like the tiger woods where you go i got counseling and and i'm back and this is a new chapter and one thing i will

tell you is people forget very quickly yeah i'm not think about how many times someone will be the worst enemy like nikki minaj right now or whatever. And then she says one thing people, uh, like that, that, uh, you know, that do agree with her or don't agree with her.

And they're like, she's dead to me. Or this is a hero. We might need to get a base. Nicki Minaj bobblehead to be honest. Cause she's fucking based a shit right now. Base. Nikki base.

Nikki fucking found. She doesn't like fucking Nikki. No, I know know he invited that's that whole thing is i don't know if we have it on the docket but that whole thing's fucking yeah she went she tucker carlson had her back and then because you know the newest development so people don't know she basically went and said hey my my um brothers or my boyfriend's like cousin or something in trinidad took the vaccine and then his balls yeah got swollen and then today i immediately took a second vaccine no you didn't swole up the bigger ball yeah you didn't you're

you're like i said why your balls are already insanely i know but i said why stop here why not go for the guinness record but so this is like essentially the rabbis making with the vaccine that the vaccine made them gay it's like the guy it is the same thing he's like he got an std and he goes it was the like he just tried to trick his girl or whatever and then today the fucking health minister of trinidad and tobago like made a statement being like yeah we looked into it there's we haven't had a single i spent a month on those balls yeah the guy's like i inspected those balls up close and personal i promise you the balls are nice they go that's not what we asked yeah we asked if it was covid related he goes fuck i'm gonna need

another month with these bad boys but it's like the equivalent of someone like getting busted cheating and then they're like oh i got like someone hate cried me on the subway and blah blah blah and then sounds like danny's guy and it goes all the way to the top and then like you know the police chief of new york city goes yeah we haven't had any reports of that that never happened you go oh teacher teacher your boyfriend's cheating on you busted daniel polish chuck not for the boys what do you mean not for the this guy came out with a good excuse it was a good excuse I'm saying the whole thing boomerang he goes

even Nicki Minaj is on my team that the reason I can't get up and I have a ball problem dude the guy's is because of COVID and Danny's like

no I'm actually probably cheating on you I didn't say I'm saying the guy's fucking four degrees away from Nicki Minaj he's like barely he's like a friend

of a friend of a friend. He's just covering his tracks with his girl. And now it's like international news. Oh, God. That being said, Tucker's got his back. Tucker's got his back. He goes, maybe your balls can get big. And whose business is that?

That is the best. That guy with his wife is literally having a political debate and the political debate is essentially the right is saying that i didn't cheat and the left says i cheat this guy's like hey listen i think i'm gonna just join the alt right yeah because i did not cheat except he lives in trinidad what does that have to do with what do you mean i don't think there's alt right in trinidad it's like you're you know he's basically has to like adopt these political shit of a different country to prove his yeah dude if you got grabs and grabs his maga hat he goes i ain't no cheater and he puts on his maga that's what i'm saying if you're a week away from getting married and you get you

get busted for a fucking big cheating spree. And that guy's probably doing up his Klan robe. Yeah. He's just like, baby. Baby, baby, baby. Baby, baby, baby. I would never cheat on you. Oh, yeah? Well, then look at this fucking clip of Glenn Beck.

I wonder how big the balls got. Oh, yeah. You're the expert. You're the expert. oh yeah you're the expert like was she like yo your fucking balls are where's this bulge coming from i just want to say that daniel is uh wondering this podcast is supported by the real real meet christine she loves shopping and this is the sound of fashion overload. Too many fabulous things, not enough space. So Christine started selling with The RealReal. I've always loved collecting designer pieces.

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Go to TheRealReal.com to get your extra $100. TheRealReal.com. That's TheRealReal.com. Straight men can have sex with men and not be gay. Yeah. I just want to see the balls. Yeah, yeah. Speaking of politics. How big do they get? Speaking of politics. I just hope they're not too big to see the balls. Speaking of politics. I just hope they're not too big to fit in my mouth. That would be too big.

Well, now we can segue. Speaking of bad influencers, that's why when a real one dies, who fucking represent to Canada, the great Norm Macackie d mcdonald and people that aren't necessarily in the comedy realm probably don't realize how much he's the guy for everyone oh i'm even surprised at the amount of people who were like coming out saying like like to the like i was actually surprised at the amount of people who yeah like everybody thinks he's the best except for like a few ladies he's so fucking sick so i thought

me and i would be fun to go through like a few of the favorite bits so before we go there's just because what i was talking about where you can't be friends with the hollywood stuff so last night actually i because i've been watching all sorts of stuff from him but i watched the interview when he just got fired from weekend update and, and he goes on Letterman, and he comes out, and Letterman's like, so how are things? He goes, I just got fired from Weekend Update. And he's like, what?

Like, the whole thing is bizarre, because Letterman's like, you got, and Letterman obviously- Well, then get off this couch, you bum! Well, Letterman had his beef with NBC, so Letterman hates NBC. W-N-B-C. Letterman has his beef with NBC.

He's like, fuck those guys. And then Norm's like yeah they fired me and it's because this guy don olmeyer who is an executive at nbc was friends with oj and norm wouldn't stop you know norm was like kept making all the oj jokes it's your real one and it's one of those like it's what you're saying where you're like he'd be like okay i'll be friends with his executive i can't say the jokes i want to say or whatever but i get to keep my desk job and the guy literally said he goes yeah norman's just like you're not funny on who he's like the best weekend update host ever i think so too but also he was our generations guy so well i i watched like i mean i think he's the best too

but i'm always a little skeptical where i'm whenever you look at it and you's the best too but i'm always a little skeptical where i'm just whenever you look at it and you go the best band the best shows no when i was because 14 to 6 no because i watched the kevin nealon i i saw pretty much all of kevin i started watching i agree with you yeah yeah and kevin nealon was good nothing to take away from kevin nealon but he was the best but uh and then so anyways but they i thought he got fired from snl but they just fired him from weekend update and they're like we want to keep you as the sketches. And Norm's like, I suck at sketches. He's like,

I'm really good at weekend update. He's like, I brutal at sketches. That's what he said. He's like, I'm terrible at sketches. Oh fuck. Yeah.

He had some of the best things. And you know what? There was something with, you know, you were kind of sending me these, but there was a bunch of people that just kind of shows us. Some people are that when he died, there was a bunch of people coming out and trying to say,

Oh, he was transformed, like saying this and that about it. He was inappropriate with a waitress 94 too. And it was like, to be honest, it didn't even, um,

it more just like bummed me out where it's like, man, that's how fucking cooked you are. You're the person at a funeral being like you're the person like giving your fucking dad's eulogy at a funeral being like you know he had his flaws as we all know yeah you know it's like you can't even they're so it's unclassy oh for sure have you ever seen that meme nothing is better than you know it it's it's being the russian uh you know working for stalin and then you give a uh a eulogy for a guy and talking about how he was a traitor to the state of course it's like the body's not even cold and they're like um well actually i'm glad uh you guys all thought he was a great comedian. Yeah. Because some of us ladies think he was a bit inappropriate.

Basically, like it was all just a few, like there's a few women and then there's like. And it wasn't a few. It was quite a few. It caught steam because what happens is with these people, one person does it and they go, oh, we're hating on him now? Yeah, of course. And I go, oh, I don't know. Some people are probably like, yeah, I barely know him.

And he's a white guy. It's easy. It's red meat for them. The worst part is I'm like, look, if you are going to do this when, like, he has just died and you're going to come out and be like, well, actually, say what happened. Like, why are you just being vague about it? Oh, I know. Why are you being vague? You're just some super vague thing.

Oh, yeah. I can't say what happened. Yeah. I can't say what happened. Yeah. I can't say what happened, but, you know, he was not the guy you guys all thought he was anyways. Book me on fucking your thing.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What the fuck? Like if something happened, say what happened or, or whatever, but yeah,

just kind of, I mean, if you're going to publicly at the very, yeah. If he can't defend himself. Yeah. He can't defend himself. So say what happened. Like, like what's the point of saying oh he was like inappropriate and again

yeah sometimes i even i was even thinking about that today and i was just like i don't even know if i want to he's like some of these things you're just like am i fucking even playing into it by even mentioning it but it was just like it was just like you go you can't you guys just can't help yourself you're so fucking your brains are so fried. It is. It's the same people that can't go through a dinner without calling their grandfather, you know, fucking transphobic.

Yeah. And I know this is an inappropriate. It was one phase. I know this is an inappropriate thing for me to say, but I, from the ladies who were saying stuff about him i really think he could have done better than that that's where i just go he wasn't happy with the fucking talent i don't know i'm like yeah i guess so but then you have bill clinton and you're like ah you know he really see he

wasn't doing great i know He wasn't doing great. I know someone. He wasn't doing great, and we know that, so you go, maybe. I know someone in New York that says they used to go to parties, and Billy C. would come through with fucking young chicks. Really? This is a firsthand account from someone that I, that was not live. Jeffrey Epstein's house?

No, they weren't at Jeffrey Epstein's, but they were in some social circles in New York where it would be like a thing like, Oh Bill, this post presidency, Bill Clinton's coming by with some fucking Instagram. I don't know if it was Instagram, but like a fucking, not like 14,

like he would come through with a fucking 25 year old or some shit. Right. But it's crazy considering. But think about that. But yeah. And considering he's such a big celebrity showing up being like, and everyone's like, we don't know you or oh and so i don't think anyone was like sworn to secrecy i think everyone was like yeah yeah it gets implied like don't tell everyone

and then as soon as everyone leaves being like fucking bill clinton fucking some chick in the pool table in the man cave of this party yeah i'm sure people are like man you know his body count you go with chicks you go no he kills people don't say anything he literally kills people do not say so i was thinking that probably my there's a few things that everyone kind of took from this guy even just the the confidence in your joke where you kind of say the joke and just leave it for a second. Just simmer in it. Yeah, he was the king of that. Just such a disciplined comedian. Even the way that he would, for example,

the same reason that he never told people that he had cancer, which is the most fucking badass thing you could possibly do, is the same reason that when he did his show and he had people write jokes and he never told anyone who wrote the jokes, they always go, who writes this? He goes, I don't know. And it was like, he could hold onto a bit forever without getting the payoff where most of people, including me, are just like, it's like one, I told you, I have my one prank that I did on someone that hasn't paid off yet. And it like, I think about it still. And I know I'm not going to die being able to go. Like I told my friend, I told his girlfriend when they first started dating that when he went to the bathroom, that every time he goes to the bath, when he went, where he

actually went is he went to shake the chef's hand because after a good meal, he always wants to shake the chef's hand. And I've never had the payoff for that and i feel like going to him i'm gonna blow it i'll be like because he shakes the chef's hand right and there you go he'd be like what and then i'll be like i fucking i didn't have the guts so yeah you couldn't you couldn't let it marinate longer he has the guts to let his his uh bits marinate yeah and he did that with so many things. I mean, I love his... One of my favorite things,

because more I watch, is just his straight disdain for his career sometimes. Where you go, when he goes on The View. Oh, yeah. All that stuff. Said Bill Clinton killed a guy on The View.

He goes, yeah. They got to get all the murdering out of the White House. And it's like Barbara Walters is like, what? This is not the time. And he goes, just like they gotta get on the murdering out of the white house and it's like barbara walters is like we that why this is not the time and he goes yeah he's a murderer yeah he's like what i thought this was public record and you go yeah you're never going back on the view ever again he i don't know why he's on the view well i guess he's friends with them and he was pretty famous i think he was pretty famous but he was he was the king of playing dumb when he knew what he was doing and i remember probably better than i think you know all the best people do some degree

of this but i look at him as kind of the same way that fucking tom green and all those people were good at this but not as good as him because he was good at it in like such a disciplined way where i remember with the the uh when he was on this phone call and i remember thinking to myself like fuck i'll never be able to do anything that was too good he basically he was they go who do you think's uh more violent he goes well black people are the most violent race and he's on like a morning radio show and they're like what are you talking what and he goes what uh well the reason is is because people with less money are more violent and black people have less money. And he goes, do you not think that black people have less money than white people? He

goes, I'm sitting here with some racist. Do you think that black people don't have less money? And he said some version of that. And it was, and I remember fucking being like, fuck. And then he said with the trans people, i remember when this stuff was first popping off he was it's like he goes uh he was on huffington post interview and he goes he's he's talking to the guy and he's like so trans people right and you can't hear whatever it gets into it and he goes see the thing about trans people is because there's all these trans serial killers he's like and i love the part of them that's trans. You got to love the part that's trans, right? You love the part that's trans.

But you got to hate the part that was a serial killer. But you love the trans part, right? And the Huffington Post guy is kind of like, yeah, I love the trans. But he just exposes kind of like logic. Yeah, he just loves working people in these crazy knots and like making them look dumb. Even with, I remember, so that was one.

When he was talking about religion, I thought it was, because it's very, very, it is hard to be the religious comedian because it is obviously the hip, cool guy's stance to not be religious, right? Absolutely. But he wasn't like, I don't remember if his stand-up. He got more religious later in life. Yeah, he got more religious later in life, but I don't think it was ever really in a stand-up. He was just like, this is just, I don't remember if his standup, more religious later in life. He got more religious later in life, but I don't think it was ever really in a standup.

He's just like, this is just, I'm personally. Yeah. Yeah. But even you, it's like the only guy that I ever found, like he made it fucking kind of cool where he goes,

he goes, uh, yeah, it was, you know, I, so I hope there's a God. That's the faith part.

When I die, I hope there's a God. And I don't know if it was Sarah Silverman or someone like that. he was saying that uh well uh good luck and he was like yeah well i mean good luck to you too because you're in the same situation that was such a funny way to put it yeah good luck the hope there's a god i mean yeah good luck to you too i mean the same sort of thing you know i was like that's that was funny um probably the first bit that i heard of his that i remember that ever stuck with me when i first started doing stand-up i heard this bit it was you know kind of when he was doing old school when he was kind of

doing the uh observational comedy and he goes uh you ever have your brain lie to you about something where you go honey what are you doing now he goes, I was hanging out with someone the other day. And they go, hey, did you ever see this movie? And I go, yes. And I go, what's my brain lying about now? That's funny. Yeah, it's such a. His Alcoholics Anonymous bit or whatever, where he's like,

Alcoholics Anonymous. And he's like, yeah, they won't. He's like, they don't give you their their last name he's like they want to stay anonymous like i'm like my name's like mike he's like so i was like i was beating my wife till her face turned crimson with blood what's your last name? No, no, no, no. No last names. I butchered that joke, Buzz. Yeah, I've heard that one. Yeah, he's going to fuck.

He has a few alcoholics ones where he says... Have you ever seen him live? No. I saw him once at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre in Toronto. Yeah, I know I have. And he was smashed. Really? Oh, buddy. He was...

It was a great show. Like, I actually took away from where i was like man it's like that's pretty good considering how drinking i go no no you were like he was like fucking wasted and but it was like pretty i've seen wasted comics before you go this is sloppy yeah it's getting sloppy i don't know if it was a theater and like you have that separation where it's like you can cut. But he was really good. Fuck yeah. ID is a strange abbreviation.

I is short for I. And D is short for dentification. That was actually, sorry to remember. I think I told you this, but Chris Farley's brother opened for him that day at that show. Kevin Farley. Kevin Far farley and then he came out and his opening kevin farley ever see you and he goes what the hell what the hell you're still alive but no no you go uh he thinks you're him oh because if i'm you then you're me but kevin farley's opening were you in the getting in the concession lot rhymes and someone ran up to you

and he goes you're kevin you're on three minutes you go there must be a mistake he did uh i don't remember his whatever he said but the one thing i go this is so weird is he made everybody just give it up for chris farley he looks kevin farley kevin farley and he looks like chris farley like they look similar and then like part of his thing he goes yeah my brother chris farley and he goes give it up and there's like two minutes of applause and that's a weird thing when i did the when I did the tours with the jackass guys I did some dates with them there was a lot of uh that for Ryan Dunn for Ryan Dunn yeah and then even with Steve like there was a good the jackass thing it was kind of I forget who it was it was the opener yeah he's like the opener and like like you know two minutes of your 10 minutes is just waiting

sitting on an applause break for your brother yeah and especially if it's a lot of years later it's like so for the rest 20 years later yeah but i think that you know they still all do that like adam sandler's special recently was still a big oh right that was they really love the chris farley you know farley i'll tell you what if you die i'll do it one one show just give it up just put my photo out there and if i die and i see you 20 years later like fucking ryan long i go write some jokes i go come on yeah you're true we both know you're trying to fill time do you ever listen to uh Norm's album, The Ridiculous? Yeah.

Oh, man. What was the one with the superheroes? That was the best one. He goes, Mr. Fantastic. Yeah, because they all have crazy names. Yeah, they all have. He goes, I'm the stretchy man. What is it?

The stretch, because my arms stretch. And he goes, and what about you? He goes, I'm Mr. Fantastic. And he goes, why? And he goes, no reason. I'm just fantastic. And he goes, what? They he goes, no reason. I'm just a fantastic. And he goes, what? They're like, no, because all our things say what we do.

And you're just Mr. Fantastic. I like the one with the, by the way, nobody's really said this, but really just sending my condolences to Norm's bookie right now. That guy lost, that guy's kids are fucking probably not doing well right now. Probably not going to the private school anymore. Oh, no. He has money coming in from all sorts of different things. No, I'm saying Norm's bookie.

Oh, Norm's bookie's kids. Yeah, Norm's bookie's kids are not doing well. But he had that one sketch on, it was like the two-parter where he's the Monday night football host who bet on the game. Okay. He's like the host of Monday Night Football, Norm.

And then he's like – he also has a bet. He's like he's bet on the Jacksonville Jaguars. And the guy has this thing called like the Hong Kong flu. He's like – and he's like he's sick. And he's like, no, but he just – and he's like explaining the point spread like as the fucking goes. And he just needs to cover by seven points. And he's then i win he had a lot of like gambling stuff remember in dirty work with chevy chase where chevy chase is the doctor who gets his arm broken he goes weird thing about the mob he goes if you owe the money it's like they break your arm you still owe

them the money yeah yeah you think they'd be even after that yeah yeah and then probably his then there's the ones where it was just the classic clips like he has all the conan step up probably the fastest one of all time when they go he's with the girl and they go uh he's doing she's doing the movie with carrot top and she goes well if it's with uh carrot top it's probably uh called box office poison and she goes well actually it's called chairman of the board do something with that and he goes uh well i bet board is spelled b-o-r-e-d yeah so one of the greatest probably one of the comedians that everyone kind of looks at and they go i wish i could do a career like that but everyone you know you always lose some integrity here and there yeah well he was very much like beholden to nobody like he

could have stayed on snl if he just oh that was actually a best thing is they invite so he gets fired from snl i guess he gets fired from weekend update and they're like well you have no reason to be on snl because other than it's like Bob Dole sketch, I don't really... The Bob Dole real world one was an amazing sketch, by the way. And then he hosted it... Whoa. Man, we're just fucking falling apart here. Then he hosted it a year later, a year and a half later, and he comes back on.

He goes, they fired me, and then a year and a half later, I'm hosting the show. They fired me because they said I wasn't funny or whatever. And he goes, and he's like, either I'm not funny or the show sucks. Yeah. They said I'm so not funny that I got fired. And now I'm so funny that I'm the host of the show. Or the show sucks. Yeah, or basically just saying it sucks.

Yeah, fuck. That's great. Well, shout out to the GOAT. I'm going to do a quick. He's a white guy's Dave Ch sex. Yeah, fuck. It was great. Well, shout out to the goat. I'm going to do a quick, he's a white, the white guy's Dave Chappelle. Yeah. Okay, I'm just going to do

a quick shout out here to our sponsor, Sheath Underwear, which is one of the sponsors that's, you know, been with us doing videos and podcasts through the days. A true OG.

And I talked to this guy on the phone the other day and he's telling me all the plans all the kind of cool stuff he's doing he's getting he's friends with all the ufc guys and he's going down and doing photo shoots and telling me all the cool shit he wants to do like he's doing stuff with kurt and kyle he literally watches all the cool comedy and he like reaches out when he sees things he likes and he tries to support comedy as long as it you know yeah sells fucking underwear so definitely support these guys it's the and by the way it is the only boxer i wear now i don't know how many pairs you have but now i have like enough that uh i don't have to ever wear anything

else three pairs i don't know i don't think i have any i don't think i got any okay well promo code ryan long dude I exclusively wear them. Really? Yeah. I think I meant to get some and then I never got it. They do make your package look fucking nice.

They keep the fucking balls away. We got to get me some. They are a good material. It's a fancy boxer. Nice. But it's not, you know, they're not fucking not expensive.

Yeah, it's not like the ridiculous like $80 or whatever. The guy said they were selling out all the stuff, and he just got a huge new shipment of everything. They're in stock of everything right now. Only boxes I wear, sheathunderwear.com, promo code Ryan Long, and those guys have been holding it down.

Now, the one thing that I thought was worth talking about. Well, for starting, the Joe Rogan, Ivermectin thing, without going into it too much, it's just insane how lopsided it is where the New York Times can come out and straight up say lies. They're proven lies. And they don't, you can, basically,

it's like you can lie all that you want as long as you support the thing it kind of just shows the straight up hypocrisy of um of i mean they're just they're not media social media yeah i mean they're not they're not news anymore right so that you want news go on twitter if you want to fucking like you know yeah it really is that's all that's the world you're living in where um all do you say if you want news go on twitter if you want fucking like you know yeah it really is that's all that's the world you're living in where um all do you say if you want news go on twitter i'm saying if you want news like you can get actual news on twitter about an event or listen to all the different sources and make your own opinion yeah exactly but like you can get kind of straight to the source whereas like you know you read an article on cnn and that's so many levels away from the

actual like source and again they're not really you really have to go you have to go through so you have to literally listen to all the different things and try to piece together what you think happened no i mean yes and no it's like i listened to the fucking segura on joe rogan it's like in three minutes he explained what happened and he i hope he sues them because that'll just be fucking. Well, you're right, because that's when they're lying about a specific thing he said. And he just goes, yeah, I never said that. He goes, I got it from a doctor.

It's not fucking horse dewormer. I don't know what they're talking about. Yeah. And basically, that's because, you know, the big companies, they want to fucking get their patents. And one of the things it sounded like is that if you want this drug to get out there on the market and you want it fast-tracked one of the things is there can't be other alternatives or whatever right and then another part of it is yeah they're just trying to fast-track all the fucking shit i mean ivermectin is not a new drug either it's just i yeah it's

more so i think cnn has super detailed analytics of what does well and they go you know what when we shit on joe rogan people love that our base go to town loves shitting on joe rogan so they have they need an angle that's like a negative joe rogan angle because nobody wants the other side of it yeah so it's not it's just not a story otherwise that got me thinking because there's been a lot of talk and one of the things that I felt like I thought about a ton this week was because it was a big topic. And I was talking to like Colin Tyrell and some other comics. And there's been, you know, there was Jim Brewer came out and he goes, I'm not playing these places that have vaccine requirements. And then Patton Oswalt came out and he goes, I'm not going to play these other places. Unless they have vaccine requirements and then Patton Oswalt came out and he goes I'm not gonna play these other

unless they have vaccine so they literally you know so they go we'll only play half the country and that's whatever and I guess you know I and Colin was saying the same thing he goes dude I've gotten it both I've gotten because I've gotten tons of yelling from both sides I've gotten this is one of the most things that i've gotten where in covid where so many people yelled at me because i was you know filming outside i was not respecting lockdowns i basically get a fucking fucking vaccine passport yeah which i'm not but i basically you know i've just been so like they could suck my dick or whatever yeah then i you know the amount i've had articles written about me and then i've also had so much on the other thing where people go

you should not play these places and you should do this and this and this right i mean dude people in the youtube comments were getting mad at me because i went to a concert that required proof of vaccine right and so you know i wanted to i've been thinking a lot about that and, you know, you don't need to agree with me that this is my thoughts. So it's not whether or not, you know, everyone can think whatever they want, but this is what I think. I think that when people talk about, you know, because their idea is, the idea is if you're against the requirements, then why aren't you, you know know living by those principles or whatever right and i think that what people forget is the the comedy element where you know what my most important principle is not to turn my comedy into activism yeah and the amount that i've like the amount that i feel like over the last you know my, my entire life, it's so tempting to fucking, you know, to do things for activism on any side, to make statements in my stance,

because people like it, it helps grow your audience, and you do establish, but, and whether you think it or not, I mean, ideally, to do things that you believe in. But the other part of it is, it really does hurt you comedically. For sure. And this scenario, it's not even your comedy

is becoming activism. You're just doing activism. Well, yeah. And then that's tied to your comedy. And you have to think almost someone like Jim Brewer, he now has to have a bunch of jokes about this

because you can't... It becomes your whole thing. You can't come back from this and be like all right we finally got this venue and then you're like okay well now talk about this for 15 minutes right so it becomes your whole thing so i i made a few things so the first part is there the amount of how many people this is how many people in the last two years have said uh late night hollywood one of the reasons they're not funny is because they became way too political and i've always said great comedy does make a point but the reason for it's not to make a point yeah yeah yeah not for the sake of it yeah but it's just so many people they're kind of like late night became propaganda. And then it's like, hey, can you fucking do some, you know, aren't you going to make a stand?

And again, I can't. It's the post in the black square of that thing. It's like, hey, make your stand. Yeah. And I don't remember exactly because like obviously people were dunking on Bush. But the Daily Show wasn't like, here's 30 minutes of dunking on Bush. Here's like a minute and then on to a new thing. Whereas all these other like the new Daily Show was just like, here's our minutes of dunking on Bush. You're like a minute. And then onto a new thing. Whereas all these other,

like the new daily show was just like, here's our whole desk segment. And then we go, we're going to go to a correspondent to also dunk on Trump. Now we're going to talk to a fucking guest about Trump. Yeah. And you go, what is like,

but you are right. And that's what happens is with someone like that, as soon as you, cause what I think people don't forget is the, so the amount of sacrifice that goes into, doing a comedy so you know when people are like make sacrifice for your thing and you go what the you know i'm always a person of like be disciplined focus on your goals what do you want and i go to me a lot of times when people are doing like activism or whatever it is it's like almost laziness and shortcuts to me somewhat where I go,

it's clapped her. Yeah. And I go, listen, and I know you could say, Oh, well, even if I did take any stand on anything,

it would be personal. Like here's a, for example, if a venue fucked you over like really bad, I would say I'm not gonna work with them. I don't think I'd make a big post, but I would be personally. So if someone fucked over like a friend of mine or something,

I would go, you know what? I'm not going to work with that person. I've had lots of people where I don't work with them, but I would be personally so if someone fucked over like a friend of mine or something I would go you know what I'm not gonna work with that person I've had lots of people where I don't work with them but I don't

I'll never make a public thing about it you're not going on a fucking drama alert right you don't wanna be in the drama community

but it is funny when people are like yo don't do those places and I go I left like me and Danny left entire lives

behind for comedy. Yes. Like, legitimately. I sold all my possessions. Sold everything you own. Or threw out. Spent thousands of dollars. Spent three years of your life getting a visa.

Moved to a country I'm not from. Moved to a country. Left, I've been doing film and entertainment my whole life. Left behind 15 years of a network. Yeah. Like that you've created whether that be you know like family like everything everything the amount that you go oh i need to borrow a truck five seconds oh when you have kids i want my mom to watch my kids five seconds yeah of course oh when i need a oh you know what i need a good editor for this thing

five seconds everything you have left at all to move to new york city because new york city is the hub this is the nfl new york and la and more new york than that's where the greatest comedy happens i think some people don't realize that where you go and you couldn't do stand-up for two years yeah so when people come back there i think some people well they just they want you to be their cheerleader right they go hey i'm on team ryan ryan do the thing i want to do if i was you but if they were if they were you they wouldn't do that they might they might but it's easy to say it is easy to say and some people are quitting their jobs and taking the stands or whatever and i think that's fine but

my point is i think you don't want your comedians to do that like everyone is looking at all your comedians and going your favorite comedians and going i want them to do political stuff i'm telling you in a year when every comedian that you really liked is that's all they talk about now you're gonna go fuck i wish i didn't make that guy this of course show me how many of your favorite comedians got ruined because before you know it they're in the cause and doing the thing and you go remember that guy used to make funny stuff also i mean this kind of just came to me but for jim brewer probably actually was a decent move because like the press he's getting you know you're going if you want that if you want that you go i mean the funny thing is everybody's like oh jim brewer he's like his fans were telling him he doesn't have fans yeah he does yeah he does yeah yeah

he does obviously it's like what an idiotic take people go oh jim bruce oh what the two people can't come see you know like no he does pretty well yeah people can do and now he now he's going to do better and maybe he lost some people but he gained 10 times as many yeah it's just gonna be a more polarized thing dude we me and i think living in fucking you know being in entertainment but also having your normal friends also having this you like you go i have literally people in my family where your your your one relative is like i can't believe you're leaving your house and then the other relative is like this is a fucking all the hoax of course whatever right so you go i think i'm both and you go i see this patten oswald like all those people

like i won't step foot in a state that does abortion you know that bans abortion and this and that and you go that's so that leads to my second part where you go as soon as you get in that mindset where you go i my platform is to make change well guess what like how much have you railed against youtube and twitter and censorship and all that shit how much you made fun of that say she go so are you allowed to be on youtube can you be on youtube now in good faith if you don't believe that it's a never-ending thing and also people telling you to do it where they go you need to be this yeah it makes you it makes you more want to be like you know i'm gonna only fucking do yeah i mean first off the fact that

patent nozzle even needs to say oh i'm not paying playing a place with uh no yeah no shit you're not i don't think you needed to say that patent right but it's virtue signal yeah oh for sure it's big time whereas jim brewer maybe did like you know and again he just made a fucking video i'm not trashing yeah listen I have million friends that are all in on all this shit you know I think it's an eye roll

I'll tell you what I definitely think is when we go to the comedy club every night and I write for two hours every day and I go do three shows a night

with you know in fucking a city like New York sometimes more like five you can tell who's focusing on comedy and who is writing twitter's fucking

argument yeah for sure it is a very obvious yeah the closest the closest i got to any kind of activism was i uh the place watch out the place i get my haircut they made me wear a mask like this is after the mask mandate lifted and then they're like you have to wear a mask and i was like the mask mandate's done and they go i have to wear a mask and i go if you make me wear a mask next time i'm not coming i don't i don't go to places that make me wear a mask like for that reason like there's a theater that said you had to wear a mask and i go now we'll go to another theater yeah because i don't want to do that yeah for sure i don't want to fucking do that although i'm starting to already realize with the like you know because now the actual vaccine checking stuff has gotten into

play in new york and i'm like already nobody's checking like it's so lax now like we're yeah we think such a stink you guys that's the other thing it's like you know no one but and there's this other part too with i you know and again i'm not fucking you don't want to tell people to do this but i've always been kind of the person that that doesn't really listen to the rules to begin with where it's like you know if i was in fucking school i remember you know if they said uh no one could leave without a doctor's note it's like yeah me and my friends don't get a bunch of doctor's notes like fake like as opposed it's kind of like your parents being like you're not allowed to go to this person's house instead of me me being like, mom, I think that I would just be like, okay.

Yeah, right. And then just go do it. Uh-huh. A hundred percent. You go, okay. So a part of me is like, there's so much of this. Like, here's a perfect example. I know people that are always fighting about like leases.

I know a friend of mine, they're kind of like, it's unfair that you can't leave a lease or whatever. And I'm just like, you can't leave a lease or whatever and i'm just like you can fucking leave a lease yes but they're on you but these people are kind of on the internet posting like they won't let me do it's like just you can do whatever the fuck you want at least there's a contract if you want to break your contract break a contract i don't know how many fucking people have fake cards right now oh my god i mean dude like every place i go into you now they go okay vaccine you show them a fake photo i mean i showed them a photo of my card i'm like okay well you can show a photo of any card they're not looking yeah and then some places you go and they're like really hawkish

you go all right i don't know just don't go there yeah i think but my point is is i think that this is why comedians hated liberals is because they started telling you what you had to do they go don't play here hey oh there was a a guy that uh uh touched the girl's ass in 1942 that runs that comedy club oh you're playing there oh yeah yeah every girl you condone that kind of behavior yeah yeah so everyone everyone started telling you what to do yeah and then you didn't like it and as soon as you as soon as you start getting involved in all these things you go i don't think you should pay as much taxes, you know? Or you go,

so now I'm fucking not paying my taxes out of protest. And it just never ends. Right. Then before you know what you're selling freedom, mouthwash burning fucking Nikes. Cause yeah, the burning Nikes is the best. Yeah.

And then on top of that. So the last, probably the last thing is that it's a once things become a partisan issue activism doesn't help anymore because it it the same way that like it's not obvious that trump didn't just invigorate the enemies you know what i mean yeah so i i think i always like to look at the fucking people and who's being crazy and in psychology and people's dynamic but whenever something becomes the right thinks this and the left thinks this the amount of people like the people being loud and making stands just kind of emboldened the other people and vice versa they go yeah for the most part not all yeah they they

have to react they go well we're not going to be kept quiet because then we'll feel like we're not defending our position at the same time too with comedy i can't even think of an can you think of an instance where there was some sort of activism comedy that did anything yeah i'm sure like lenny bruce i'm sure that some people are listening to this thinking oh maybe some place they were you know uh riding the lockdowns and then they they they stopped them or whatever you know what i mean but we're we're like we're comedy did that like was there anything where a comedian goes this is my stance no comedians are useless that's what i'm saying they're like fucking useless degenerate agreed yeah it is uh like there's no bit they go yo

that bit right there that bit ended sweatshops in America. And you go, wow, what a bit. Powerful bit. Yeah, but I think it does help change culture. Yeah. But it does. The thing is, to be great at comedy, you want to, it's the same reason

why you can't just go on stage and be like, Trump is bad. Like changing culture and changing people's opinions is very hard but you do it in your comedy and you go if we think something it's like you have a place to make all your points and that is your stand-up that is your videos you go it's it's so cheap to me to be like imagine making the most nuanced fucking i hate trump bit ever right where it's like wow like you go even if i fucking like trump that's a funny bit yeah you know what i mean versus a twitter post being like newsflash he sucks yeah totally he's orange retweet it yeah

yeah re occupy democrats retweet if you think he's orange and fucking retweet twice if you think he has a small dick yeah so i don't know i just been seeing like i feel like that's one of those things where i've been yelled at from both from i've been getting a lot of people yelling at me so i feel like it was worth saying where i'm coming from on it anyway whether you disagree or not disagree that's kind kind of how I feel about it. I'm curious to the extent that, because, you know, obviously a lot of people are like, is this a slippery slope?

And then obviously people are like, no, this is just COVID thing. Well, people don't like the passports. No, the passports in Canada seem way more aggressive. That's the other thing. We come from that. We come from that. We come from real oppression.

Yeah, real oppression. And I keep seeing fucking like uh the way it's like a qr code and you're like because here it's you whatever you have a piece of paper it's not really in any sort of database you go here's my piece of paper some bouncer looks at it and you go okay it's like an id right yeah but in canada it's like qr codes you're like this is this is getting logged somewhere yeah but on ours in new york it's like they literally give you a fucking piece of computer paper yeah where they get it scribbles on maybe it's not in any data that's what i'm saying maybe it's like maybe someone can correct me or whatever who's listening to this but like maybe they said we're not logging this but like you have to think especially in

canada like you know australia or whatever it's gonna be like you go boop and then it's like central database it's like i was at this place like you know you have or whatever, it's going to be like, you go boop, and then it's like central database. It's like, I was at this place. Like, you know, you have like your whereabouts are being now tracked by the government and maybe they are already tracking your whereabouts. Maybe I'm naive and they're like, people are like,

yeah, the NSA is tracking you anyways with your fucking GPS. But that seems like a bit much. Dude, the original thing seems like a bit much to me. Yeah, the whole thing seems a bit much. Agreed. But I'm not going to quit doing comedy because of that. And I think that some people just don't understand how the job works.

It'd be the equivalent of if you wanted to be the top basketball player in the world, right? And then you go, well, you know what? I don't want to do this vaccine stuff or whatever. So I will go, you go, oh, just do this other gym. But they go, well, this gym, you get to practice seven hours a day with the top coach. And this other gym, you get to practice one hour a day top.

Because people don't realize, you go, you do five sets a night in New York and that's why people here are the best. And you go, well, well, you could be in this other place. Like, no, it doesn't work like that. It's not like that. Everyone said Austin's going to be the spot.

It's not. No, it's not. You know, fucking the top people are doing a spot or two a night. And it's like even then there's shows so it's not real club spots where you can work on stuff yeah yeah it's not it's not the same gym same thing and again a lot of very there's very few people who are straight up like have real jobs and their jobs are like okay you have to get vaccinated or you're gonna get fired and like i mean props to you if you're gonna say yeah i'm not i'm not doing this and i'm gonna be fired but like not a lot of people are doing that and i don't know why they're

expecting comics to do that because they're not doing it either but i just don't understand the idea that why people think comics would it's like literally a lot of us it's you know for all that i've dedicated my entire life to for 20 years is trying to be the best at making stuff where you sacrifice like i said relationship every every you sacrifice and us literally everything and then someone's like yo quit all that so you can fucking get be in the you know on an internet or'm going to downvote this YouTube video. And you're just like, dude, it ain't happening. Yeah, it's not happening. So that's kind of why.

And then on top of that, you know, people want to come to see the shows. And honestly, it's like, figure it out, dude. I mean, like, again, in Canada, I would say it might be tougher to do, like, the figuring it out because there is, like, a more centralized database. Here, just get a fucking printer i don't know what to tell you go on alibaba buy i keep seeing it like you see it

on twitter all the time you go another uh uh thing of cards has been intercepted from china because china's making fake fax cards china is just laughing at us right now too because china's like all this stuff and then they're sending us their fentanyl and their vax cards. And they're just like, yeah, just have fun, America. We're just going to burn this shit down from afar. They're banning video games over there. They're banning video games, all this stuff. But if they're catching a shipment of vax cards for every one, I don't know, maybe 5,000 doesn't get caught.

It's paper like how do they you know it's not like it's drugs where they go what are they gonna get vac sniffing card dogs or whatever like it's paper it's there's no i don't even know why it's being shipped from china right you can't print locally that's what trump was talking about it goes we're sending all our fucking jobs over to china he goes they're printing our vax cards now weird yeah it's fucking insane yeah but again it's just like they were getting into that game game it's like piece of paper game this isn't like dude it's not like there's like oh you know the currency where there's like all these anti uh counterfeiting things in them this is like a fucking q car dude this remind it reminded me so much of high school where i was just like

dude we used to make so many of these i want i don't know if i told the story of the podcast but with we fuck him so me and my friend my friend uh jerick he had he used to he used to make fake fucking doctor's cards. Right. So we would be getting out of school right, left and center. Yeah. You know, I was like, ah, you know, knee problem again. And that's probably when it was harder.

And they'd be like, this one group of friend has nine doctor's appointments each a week. And oh, they were way, way harder. Right. And we had the fake signatures, the whole thing. Right. way way harder right and we had the fake signatures the whole thing right but we go um the funny part was that jerek he wrote a a note for this guy named ahmed right he was like kind of our buddy but he was like a pretty fucking gangster dude right kind of shipped in from a different school like in grade 12 oh yeah you know like a tough he came in with tough guy attitude last chance you

kind of thing like yeah yeah he well he came in with like you attitude. Last chance you kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. Well, he came in with like, you know, jail energy of like anyone who fucks with me. Hey man, do you have a bar of soap and a sock that you're swinging around right now? He was all right. But so Jer gave him one of his patented fucking doctor's cards. And then he goes over to a portable, which is like an outside school thing. And he holds up a teacher at gunpoint a female teacher i think it was miss lumsden maybe holds up a teacher at fucking gunpoint

steals her phone or jewelry stuff like that uh the fucking cops and everybody he leaves gets away with it the cops helicopters and everything come out, chase this guy. So the helicopters are chasing him midday because they was like, he laughed. And then she was like, it was Ahmed. Yeah, obviously you're like the guy I know, Rob. Yeah. Then they went back to his house, had a standoff because he's inside his house or whatever. And the cops are with the megaphone like,

come out with the fake doctor's note. We don't care about you, but we want to know who's making the notes. If you give up the note maker. Jerk the, what do you call it? The Brian Cranston. Oh, yeah. If you give up the note maker,

we will let you free on the armed robbery but uh so eventually they go he goes to jail yeah of course but and that we never got we never got busted it was but it was a scare but you guys were all worried that you're like man this house of cards is coming yeah we go that night we're like we're done yeah we're fucked we're fucked bud but yeah we did we come from the we come from, we come from the real land of the nut free. But Australia, they limited residents to six beers a day. So if you're buying beer, you can only get six beers a day. So they're blocking off pussy.

They're blocking off beers. They're blocking off everything. Dude, it's crazy. I told you i follow like i Andrew Bogan all he does is post about just this insane stuff yeah what's going on you know my uh friends recently everyone turned into the town crier because basically people on both sides um it was uh like on the internet like everyone in the last two years being like, let's,

let's just say fucking, we're just saying the COVID thing. They go, Texas is making abortion illegal. Texas is making abortion illegal. Ding, ding, ding,

ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. And the other guy's like, they're segregating New York. Ding,

ding, ding. Like everyone, everyone in the last two years that their social media, they've turned into the town crier of the town. All caps. Yeah. So there's been fat phobic.

Jeopardy host is racist. Jeopardy host is racist. Everyone turned into a town crier. It was funny. You see the fucking, they aired episodes of jeopardy with the old guy. Everybody was like, I was like,

let the guy fucking he's fired. It's like, you don't understand how shows are made. Like everybody's like i was like let the guy fucking he's fired it's like you don't understand how shows are made like everybody's like i'm like can you fucking believe jeffrey would air another episode with this guy who made an inappropriate joke i can't for one dismissive piece of shit i can believe they can suck on my fucking pencil i would love yeah yeah that's fucking some bullshit well anyways the number one comedy killer for anyone i know a lot of people that are starting you know kind of new comics listen to shit or whatever but like i don't know i've been in this game long enough to know the fucking

number one comedy killer is you activism i mean you're not you're not a rapper like you're not a musician this could be activist because you can kind of sneak them into your lyrics yeah you can't sneak that shit into fucking like you're not bob dylan okay yeah like you do a shitty impersonation but you know what it is it's kind of like you can be the person that says listen there should be a four-hour work week and then be campaigning for the world to be like this is not fair that america has a five-hour work week they do a four-hour work week and you make it your whole thing the four-hour work week or you can find a job where you can fuck off a day you know what i mean yeah of course or you can read like the kind of four-hour work week stuff

is like you could make your entire life's work for everyone to have a four hour work for everyone have a four hour work week or option two is you find a job where you can kind of work from home two days a week and one of them and you can do all the time and then like now you have a which is yeah for sure well and also like you know comedy kind of the point is to make people laugh you can't be like you know know what? What's a good way of getting my activism out? I know. I'll start doing comedy. That's the wrong order of operations.

But it's a real order of operations that lots of people do. I agree. Yeah. I agree. That is the order of operations for a lot of people, but it's the wrong way to go about it.

Yeah, because I know if you're like a political guy or even something, it's like, what are you selling? It's like, really, they're selling their fucking politics opinions or their point of view on that. But it's like, if you're coming in political guy or even something, it's like, what are you selling? It's like, really? They're selling their fucking politics opinions or their point of view on that.

But it's like, if you're coming comedy, it's like, yeah, you have to have opinions on stuff. And I think you like people better when they have a good opinion. But where you really are selling is like, how fucking funny is this guy? For sure. Even music. Any musician who's an activist, they got famous first with their music. Then they go, oh, I have this platform. I can do some. Which I have a responsibility. Oh i have this platform i can do which i have a

responsibility or whatever and i can do some activism but nobody got famous on their like i'm gonna disagree with you there dude i think there is plenty of people you're telling me if sean came came out with a rap album right now people wouldn't be like no no i'm saying nobody came out of nowhere with an activism music thing where they go that was their first thing that people know them and it's music activism because like i don't you don't think that there's some fucking girl right now band right now that was like the got popular being i hate trump band maybe i don't know i mean there's pussy riot but i think they got famous by fucking like being like protesting putin and shit i think there's always been you know music and activism and music and activism in comedy i just don't think it's makes me laugh no and you go so that's why when

we're talking about guys like norm mcdonald's you go that's a person that fucking he didn't talk about his personal life very much like he left everything kind of to the imagination like he just the amount of discipline i always kind of look at like discipline versus when i go you ever been on twitter where you go fuck i'd love to just fucking be like fuck you loser yeah but you go you're not be disciplined you're you're fucking you're looking at i'm looking at my computer trying to write funny things rocking my brain and you look at your twitter you're like that'd be fun to fight with that guy put your phone down ryan yeah put your fucking phone down oh yeah i mean norman's so crazy that he straight up was like yeah i'm just gonna live tweet golf for the next two days yeah he would straight up you'd be like what's going on with north's

thing and he'd just be live tweeting like uh not even a major not even a major just like fucking he's like the travelers he's like i will say that even the boy you're as you're saying the live tweet golf thing and we'll wrap up on this but there is a there is another part of it where you go if you are gonna be the guy like the patten oswald jim brewer it's like i will say the move is to do it later in life after you've kind of made all the stuff you want to make to some degree you have to and and you know we've obviously talked about this too and made this point but like yeah there's one thing to be the activist when you're already like established in hollywood and you know

especially if you're on the right side there's no real repercussions no like some people will be like fucking pat nozwell like i kind of liked him the repercussions are you're less funny but it's like you're in the you're in the you're already in the system whatever yeah you're in the system so it's like yeah you're not nobody's taking away your shows if anything you're getting more shit like in terms of like acting gigs or whatever probably yeah hurting you so when you're but it's like it's kind of a i heard bill burr say this once and uh i think it was in a thing with russell brandy goes there's nothing harder than getting popular a second time and i i mean i kind of did that to some degree but i was young enough the first time but i i do really agree with that because it's like you get so out of touch like

with the nuance of fucking what's happening and what the people that you know what's the shit that's cool right now and what's what's the shit that the people that, you know, what's the shit that's cool right now. And what's, what's the shit that like fucking jazzes you up because you're old, right? It's like, it's like watching Tik TOK right now. And you go, what do they like about, you know, you, and right now we're old for some shit, but you may be in the pocket for some other shit and whatever. Right.

So it's like, once you kind of lose your touch with that thing to do it again is like, it's, you just become fucking the old guy so i think as you get older it's like you go all right you know what i'll be on one of these two sides and you don't have to think that much because you go what do we like uh vaccines what do we not like abortion laws and you go got it and then you just post the thing. You go, a fucking Texas abortion law? Yeah, all you do is quote tweet news articles being like, can you believe this? Yeah, you go, fuck? Abortion? Laws?

Stop telling women what to do with their bodies. Yeah, yeah, right? Stop telling people women what to do with their bodies. Before we go, though, I want to do a shout out. Because we got a fucking badass patreon this week i got a pretty uh a pretty cool theme for this uh week for the patreon if you guys want to follow at patreon.com slash the boys cast but shout outs to the people the real dogs that have been joining the patreon at the 20 or 50 dollar tiers. We got Justin Dongsky, the Dongerino.

Donger! If he played hockey, he'd be fucking Donger. Oh, he'd definitely be Donger. Donger! Robert Robio, the fucking Robio. This ain't his first Robio. Robot. 44, quite a moment with a quirky name like Kanye West.

Matthew Hoth, David Brantley, Josh, one name. He doesn't fucking fuck with the next name like that william cosby so it's good to know that he's back out there supporting i like the funny names on patreon that was actually the fucking the did you see the the norm on uh speaking of patent with comedians and cars with seinfeld and he goes he goes do you think uh um like cosby's legacy is tarnished and and seinfeld's like yeah i definitely do he goes yeah because uh pat noswald he seems to think that uh fuck what is it he's like his legacy he goes that's the worst thing is the hypocrisy yeah that's the worst thing he did and he goes and i

was like i didn't think so he goes why he goes oh the rapes was the worst part yeah The worst part is the hypocrisy. Christopher Lee, Remy Castle, David Brantley, David Andrew, and DDR1050. So these are the people that are all fucking been supporting the Patreon, which helps a lot. And helps pay for studio and all sorts of stuff and support the sponsors. This has been The BoyzCast. We appreciate you. Peace.