The Boyscast with Ryan Long - Insane Article Tells You to Marry Your Cousin! Government Shutdown & Riyadh Comedy Festival

Episode Date: October 2, 2025

Cousin marriage is encouraged now in the UK, the government closes its doors and controversy over Saudi Arabian comedy festival. SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! Upside - Download the Upside app and use promo code BOYSCAST to save 25 cents off every gallon of your first tank of gas Cornbread Hemp - Go to https://cornbreadhemp.com/boyscast and enter code BOYSCAST for 30% off your first order Prizepicks - Go to https://prizepicks.com and use code BOYSCAST to get $50 instantly when you play a $5 lineup Hims - Go to https://hims.com/boyscast for personalized E.D. treatments SUPPORT THE BOYS PATREON.COM/THEBOYSCAST  RYAN ON TOUR:  Baltimore: oct 2-4 Eugene - Oct 10/11 New York: Nov 7/8 Fort Worth - Dec 12 Dallas - Dec 13 Houston - Jan 15 Austin - Jan 16/17 San Francisco - Feb 26 Sacramento - Feb 27/28 Nashville - May 8/9  ryanlongcomedy.com SUPPORT THE BOYSCAST:  https://www.patreon.com/theboyscast http://ryanlongcomedy.com Ryan @ryanlongcomedy To advertise on this podcast please email: [e-mail]    Or go to: https://advertising.libsyn.com/BOYSCAST   Chapters: 00:00 - Fiscal responsibility 01:04 - Intro 01:28 - Monday night bender 03:35 - Government shutdown 04:55 - Arrested for memes 06:49 - Dates - Go to https://ryanlongcomedy.com and https://dannycomedy.com for tickets! 07:08 - City council meeting wackiness 12:27 - Men pay all the taxes 16:52 - Sora 2 19:17 - NHS says 1st cousin marriage has benefits 30:11 - AD - Upside - Download the Upside app and use promo code BOYSCAST to save 25 cents off every gallon of your first tank of gas 32:12 - AD - Cornbread Hemp - Go to https://cornbreadhemp.com/boyscast and enter code BOYSCAST for 30% off your first order 33:38 - Kier Starmer on one 36:25 - Call to prayer in Michigan 38:45 - Riyadh Comedy Festival 56:43 - Hypocrisy in beliefs 1:05:21 - AD - Prizepicks - Go to https://prizepicks.com and use code BOYSCAST to get $50 instantly when you play a $5 lineup 1:07:14 - AD - Hims - Go to https://hims.com/boyscast for personalized E.D. treatments 1:09:38 - Hegseth vs. Fats 1:17:37 - Rob Ford documentary / quotes 1:21:17 - Fat activist lays down the law 1:26:50 - Jewish gun club offers bullets, bagels 1:29:29 - Witch who cursed Charlie Kirk wants to speak to Erika 1:32:59 - Shootings 1:36:58 - Wrap up

Very often you'll hear women say men will do anything other than therapy. But what you don't hear is that women will do anything other than save that money and then put it in the market to let compounding do its job. Ninth Wonder of the world. Just last week, I was trying to explain to the wife, if she just took that 800 bucks a month and put in at the S&P 500 for the next 30 years, assuming a 10% annual return, you're looking at a clean $1.65 million. Seems like an obvious choice to me.

Well, she didn't see it that way as she started crying hysterically, grabbed the iPad out of my hands, and screamed, why are you so emotionally unavailable at the top of her lungs? Well, maybe she should be asking why she's financially unavailable to the idea of beating inflation. Oh, I did. But I've been there with a wife suggesting I'd be more vulnerable, but has no interest in my suggestion of her becoming less vulnerable to the Fed's money printing. Who could disagree with that?

Well, her mother and sister, for one, who ruined the dinner, by walking out after telling me I have too much baggage dump pack, and even recommended a breakup entirely when I calmly explained to them that I don't hold bags, I dump them and reallocate the capital in a responsible way. Duh. Minus her $800, of course. $800 a month. If my wife has her way, we'll be spent talking about how my uncle molested me instead of putting it in my vanguard account to allow me to fuck the market. The boys.

The boys cast. Collapse. The dudes. Prepare your sons for boys' cast. The pros. Just the boys cast. The homies. The hoax.

The dudes. Experials. The boys cast. The boys cast. the boys cast me and d p a little recovering from a monday night bender d p already got sick his fucking old ass body couldn't handle it man it's shutting down you're right shut it down i'm actually you're shutting your body down like the government shutting it down like the government i actually was going hard too i came back i was on zero sleep right i slept like fucking two and a half hours i

fucking edited that video i'd like in um in cleveland went to sleep at six woke up at eight got off the plane came straight met up with Jared Campbell we did like three shots for no reason before we went to the party I showed up I was three shots and immediately started cooking I was probably did like yeah 18 drinks that night then we went to the second

bar I went dude I went 630 for no reason on Monday night That's insane I'm retired from that life I was cooking around looking for Zins at 530 a.m. Get any Zins? Yeah yeah I went hard

phone died and then The bar, left the bar, realized my phone was dead. And then I was like trying to get a cab, had to walk around. Yeah, yeah. And then I had to try to find, because I have to get into my house and need the thing. I was like, disaster. I did wake up in the morning being like, what are you doing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you got that.

For what reason? Go home. But not great. No, I'm like, because I've been sort of not partying that hard. Yeah, that's actually what my theory is because probably like you had like three shows in three different cities. And you had to drive because neither of those clowns have licenses. Morons, absolutely insane.

Grown men without driver's licenses. Both grown men. Like, if you want to know what comedy's like, you go, you hang out with a bunch of grown men who have never had a license in their life. Isn't that wild? Crazy. Although I feel like Johnny's also in that boat. He has a license.

All right. Oh, yeah, yeah, because we have that whole thing. Okay, Johnny can drive manual. I take that away. Sorry for besmirching the Lee family name. But no, it is like, New York's the hub of that, and comedy's like even more retards. where you're just like, yeah, so you're fucking 40 years old.

What are you doing? Get your life together. Don't have a driver's license. Says the guy who went to sleep at 7am on Monday for no reason. But I actually don't feel okay right now. My body's actually in decent shape right now, so I'm good, man. My fighting weight. Yeah, you're fighting with?

Yeah, yeah. But, yes, the government shut down, which you actually made a funny point where you're saying, like, it shuts down every two months. Dude, literally, since I lived here, that's just like every three months. They're like, we're shutting it down. And nothing changes. It's the purge. Well, yeah, well, they never actually shut it down.

I guess the first shutdown since Trump's last term. Do you feel like it's kind of like where the parents aren't home? You're just like, yo, maybe I should lie on my taxes? I don't know what to do. Should I just piss something? Build something and don't follow the regulation code. It's like, ooh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is not up to code, but nobody's going to catch me. Just head to D.C. just piss on a guy. Handicap spots, just doing it all. Living life. Look at our eye. Like, are we good here? Are we good?

Are we good? Are you guys working or what? Are we just pissing on someone outside? I mean, some people are working. I saw the dude just get arrested on the train. So they're working a little bit What do you get arrested for? Pulling it out?

I don't know I actually saw it. Pull it out? To pry the guy, arrest the guy, pull it out and the fucking had to Danny had to pull the dick out of Danny's mouth and get him into the thing. I only saw the aftermath of it of him just like in cuffs like them walking down that

crazy long tunnel with like four of them all plain clothes too. No, so normal guys. That's the thing actually because everybody's like yeah there's so many cops on the trains now and it's like you know they're like oh it's a little safer but you're like there's actually way more than you think

because a lot of them are cops because a lot of them are just plain clothes yeah so uh but anyways i don't know what i've seen a guy in the britain right now because you know they're arresting everyone for the memes or whatever but it's like someone recently i can't even remember the meme

that he posted well the guy who got uh he got arrested for posting fuck hamas yeah that's what i was yeah yeah he posted they're like they're at his house and like two in the morning and they're like yeah you got to go to jail he's like i got to go to jail why do they show up at 2 a m i don't know man but it's funny because they had this sort of Canadian thing whereas i don't know where it was but very polite They were very polite where he was just like, you know, I know, I know you guys probably don't want to be here.

And they're like, ah, we don't want to be here either. You know, we're just doing our jobs. You know, and he's like, he goes, just so you know, like, I am going to make a bit of a stink about this. Yeah, yeah, because he's like, he's like, I'm a big blogger. I'm going to be making a maximum fuss. I just want you to know. And he goes, listen, whatever you got to do, if you got to get your stuff. Like, if we didn't have to be here, we didn't have to be here.

All right. Well, shake your hand, but I'm going down to the station. Yeah, and he's like, what exactly did I do? and they're like, you made a post that would incite racial hatred and he's like, against Hamas? Yeah. Yeah, so.

Clown show, that's actually one of our slop articles because I have some real slop for the boys this week. Which, by the way, it's a quick note that I will say because I met some of the squad this weekend or whatever. Yeah. It is actually, we do have a fucking sick audience of people. I agree. Like, I would say most of the people you meet,

you'd be like, yeah, I'd hang out with this guy. You know what I mean? For sure. Very good squad of people, so I appreciate people coming out. also one year anniversary of my special just came out which is that like almost a million and a half views with basically if you actually think about it zero press basically completely ignored

I don't think single article I didn't really do a press to her because I went back on tour so exclusively just putting it on YouTube I read about some no there was an article in Jezebel about some witches that put a hex on your yeah yeah yeah yeah that hex didn't fucking work

We have another slop article about the witches back too which felt like it was exclusively for the boys cast Yeah, I think the witches gave me this cold, actually. Witches has been on your ass. The witch has been on my ass. But if anyone wants to come out, I'm going to be in Baltimore this weekend. Then Eugene, New York just did a promo for that.

If anyone's coming out, that show is going to be fucking awesome. Fort Worth, Dallas, San Francisco, Sacramento, Nashville, Rhineland, Comedy.com. I'll be in Dallas in less than a month. Dallas, Tayha, Dannycomedy.com. Fucking Catch Danny's show, man. What are you doing out there in Dallas? So, you know how Alex Stein started doing the, I don't know if he started it or other people doing the going to the city council.

He started it. He definitely was the pioneer of the city council meetings. No, there was before. Like a chat. Do you remember chat and JT where they were going and saying that they need a more stoked and stuff like that? That's true. You know, so they would do some of those.

But it's really caught on where every city council has just become like a fucking gong show. I know, I know. Well, I think they always were because I think that's the whole thing is they're like, you know, you're some city council. and then, like, by law, they're like, you have to give everybody a minute to just say their piece

and you just got to, like, take it like a bitch because you make, like, eight... Because you make, like, 85,000 a year with benefits to, like, sit there and get trolled. Yeah, just, well, I guess people are just like, yeah, what's your issue with the city? And then they're just like,

not too many tampons and restrooms. And someone's like, not enough tampons and you just got to take it. And they're all doing performance arts pieces where people are coming, just being like, I'm helicoptering my dick for Palestine. Yeah, for sure.

Yeah, exactly. It's just like some bag lady who's just like, shopping carts are all rickety intent But I got one, this was really good This girl didn't want any budget cuts or something like that This is what she goes, hold on Because with the women, I've been really getting into the game

And they're getting creative moms with time on their hands That's the thing It's one thing having like YouTubers messing with you But if you get moms with time on their hands Which is, I think that's the norm I think like when they saw someone like Alexine They're probably just like They probably didn't even know

Because like we've been dealing with this forever It just never made it to YouTube It's mostly been moms with time on their hands That she's been yeah yeah yeah well and by the way embarrassing if your mom's out here a lot of time moms yeah okay let's watch this one

so she's cutting her hair with scissors very anti-climactic here I hope that this is the only chop that our community has to witness thank you very much she didn't even take off that much you're the only chopped that the community has to witness chopped chopped

uh yeah and they go okay She thought she was on to something We're still closing the library I don't know what to tell you later Do you think she was sleeping And then woke up in the middle of the night Like that's fucking

No and she told her husband He's like Please don't do that Please don't go cut your hair off In front of the city council She goes It's the only way they'll get the message That they can't cut taxes

There's no other option But I'd always have that vibe of like You know when someone Like who doesn't really do stand-ups Thinks like Oh I'm gonna do this like big long performance piece Where I'm rolling on the floor and everything, and then in reality, it's just, like, awkward as fucking no one's laughing.

You're, like, 30 seconds into this, and you're like, I'm bombing, and you're like, still like, fucking 12 more minutes of this. Right, but that's what she, in her mind, she was like, oh, this is going to kill, but she doesn't realize she's just sort of sitting there awkwardly chopping hair for a little bit. Another one, there was a woman that she's, I guess, I think it was, she's conservative, and she was kind of protesting the bathroom stuff, right? And she came out, and she basically took her clothes off and just had her bra on. And not that great, but, uh, this isn't, this wasn't in France, apparently.

No, she was like, older, nothing good. But then the idea was, older, nothing good. Older, nothing good. I don't know if this girl, I would, I wouldn't describe her as like totally beat. Yeah. But I would describe her as like, you wouldn't bat an eye just a standard mom. You know what I mean? Yeah.

If it was your friend's like wife, you're not like, ew. Right. You're just like, yeah, yeah, that's a wife. That's a wife, yeah. You know, that's just a child-bearing wife Just a child-bearing wife Nothing to write home about Nothing to complain about, you know what I mean?

Just run-of-the-mill wife Maybe even was good back in the day, you know? Yeah, yeah, for sure. You're definitely not complaining. Okay, fair enough. Fine. You know what, I'll tell you what, if she was here right now and she gave me the option,

you want to see the tits or no, I go, yeah, yeah, I was pulling out. Hey, I don't want to be rude. I don't disrespect you right. Given the choice, I'd peep them, you know? Yeah, okay, fair. And you might even take a second look, but, you know, nothing to write home. But do a spin.

Give old Danny a spin. So she comes out and her thing was like that the trans people in the bathrooms. Yeah. And she basically comes out and she takes her clothes off and they're kind of feeling awkward. And then she was like, see, if you're feeling awkward about me, imagine how the kids would feel with a man in their changer. Yeah. And yeah. Yeah, but it was a very, it was long winded.

Oh, she didn't get to the point, did she? Not right to the point. Made a whole thing out of it. But can you have that? Would you love that, Danny, if your mom's on that where she was just like, yeah, you know, this bathroom stuff's out of control. Then she was like, we should do something about it.

You go, what are you talking about? She's like, well, I'm like writing a letter, right? We're just going to do a letter-reading campaign? Sure. No, I think I'm going to go protest at the school. Okay, I'm at the city council where they film it and everyone will see it and then my video go viral

you go what are you planning to do these remember you used to suck on them and they're live streaming this on YouTube you say okay he wouldn't love it

I'll tell you that much I don't want to yeah I don't want to I'm doing anything we've been talking in our group chat people were saying it's so funny to me that we've mentioned it's kind of just like

something that goes under the radar that the men pay all the taxes yep but interesting point is someone did like full analysis. And on aggregate, because men pay so much more taxes and women take more social services, every woman, on average, so not everyone, but on average, your average woman is a 150 net drain on a country. Really? Yeah, you didn't read the thing? I saw that. Yeah, I kind of perused it quickly, but that's what it worked out to? Yeah, so basically, so on average, so on average,

men, $150,000? Yeah. So on average, men pay $100,000. Spended. So I don't want to miss represented because there is something the probably the most important thing is women live seven years older right so women get their you know pensions and uh health care and that stuff's expensive and medicare and all that sort of stuff and they live seven years longer right so they have seven more years of being old and old people are in that drain and then on top of that men just make way more money yeah so there's like men on average it's not like the you know that they're on average just taking way more social services I don't know if that you know there might be

but essentially it was women I mean women are more likely to go to the doctor that's what they say like there's so women take more health services over the course of their life and it's not you know remove I think they removed I think they remove like if the welfare is coming to the kid they don't count that if it's you know birth they kind of don't really count that

because so they did actually do a fair job of those sort of things yeah but on average yeah the biggest things are men pay way may well men pay way more taxes and on top see a man out there today, just go give him a handshake. Say thank you. Thank you for your service, sir.

Because I'm not in the military. That's not what I was talking about. On average, just you paying $150,000 more than you took. Yeah, do you know what you do? You're a net positive on society. And people have said that. They go, what would you describe as being a man?

And being a man, they're like, you contribute more than you take. That's like when you start. Like, if someone's still, you know, living with their parents and their parents are, they're taking more than they're giving, you know, Or some other things, right?

Like, if you add it up and you go, this person's taking more than they're giving, that might be something where you said hasn't passed through into manhood yet. Sure. But on average, your average woman over the course of her life. Tis,

Tis, ladies. Yeah. You can't fault the living longer part. Yeah, of course. But the moral of the story is... I mean, nagging gives you so much fucking just like juice. Juice.

Yeah, it gives you little juice. Yeah, yeah. Like, if men actually could nag more, like, it's just like it's not in your bones. I know. But, like, literally. like nobody's been like there's no biohackers like there's no like peter atia or fucking huberman's being like you know if you just like nag the shit out of your wife it keeps you going keeps you going yeah

it is actually if you think about it though if you're like 87 years old and you're just sitting there if you're grumpy and all you do is watch your programs yep like that isn't a lot your brain starts to turn to mush yep you eventually turn off your body stops right however if you're like a gossipy 87 year old woman and nagging and gossiping yep you know keeps you going it keeps you going just that that fucking little dopamine you're always getting a new hit of dopamine every time you complain about something you're like this food's bad you know there's a hair in this it's cold the temperature's off you know now you have you have you always have missions right yeah yeah yeah because you go what's my purpose in life after a point there is something where you go nothing and then you go you know you just

kind of eventually die yeah but if you go what's my purpose in life you go it's too cold in here I can't work the thermostat I have a few purposes in life one of my purposes is too cold in life one of my purposes, the neighbors are too loud? The neighbors are too loud, yeah, calling my grandkids fat. Yeah, one of my purposes, my grandkids needs to get it together. One of my purposes, finding out gossip and distributing it to other family members. Yeah, I think it's a, uh, checks out. It does check out a little bit, right?

So I just thought that was such, like, an interesting thing that if you, the moral of it, obviously, is you're just like, so when people say, if you took away men, society would collapse. If you took away men's society would literally collapse. Yeah, yeah. It would run a, the deficit would be like untenable. I mean, who would hang a TV? Well, who didn't TV, but more importantly, like, who would pay

for anyone's anything? Oh, yeah, yeah, that too. No question about that part. Not even the fucking labor rules. So could work. Yeah. But women are sick, too. I want to get to the ultimate slop, and I've never seen slop like this. If you know what I'm about to talk about.

We're about to hit a fucking content tsunami slop with this new chat GPT thing they rolled out yesterday what do you mean you didn't see the SORA 2 that they came out with this isn't chat GPT slot it I'm about

content slops I'm listening tell me about it wow so Sora so Sora is like chat GPT's video model thing or whatever and they just came out

with like a new version of it and it's like way crazy like you know all that you've been seeing with Google's like V-O3 yeah it's like way better than that like it's I mean some guy

so they made like I can't get into it you need like an invite code but they made like they have their own app it's called Sora two and they're trying to make it like kind of almost like a social networky style thing and you can like insert yourself now into AI videos like you like in them and it like looks amazing but like this

one guy like made this video of uh who works at chat gpt of sam altman i've seen that video of him stealing GPUs it's like it looks like i did not see that video i saw their promo video about it the promo but so this guy just made one and it was i think it's like the number one because it's like ranked because they're trying to make like app or whatever and uh it's him just like it's a grainy like security cam footage and you're like him stealing GPUs from a target like as a joke and you're like yeah this is going to get misused pretty badly right of course and it looks like really real you just make someone a video of their wife jacking off a dude oh my god the only thing you can do is you can really

flood the zone if you're trying to get away from some sort of controversy right you know you just make a million a million things of you doing everything yeah look like yeah you're just like there's so I guess there's me doing everything I don't know find which You're right, though, if they had a video of you walking out of the glory hall, and then you're just like, oh, so yesterday I was at 9,000 glorious. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. There's 20,000 videos of me walking

out of Gloria Hall with the same time. Same time. Same time. The same time stop wiping my face. I was at home watching the baseball game. It's just like, come on, guys. Oh, yeah, I was in every fucking area of the city of the exact same time with come on my face. Yeah, right. Just use your brain, okay?

Just think about it. Is that possible? that's actually a pretty good point you can flood the zone I mean it's just like disinformation essentially you're just making your own disinformation you put your own disinformation campaign and it's like you've and then plausible deniability

you're getting that word right exactly yeah yeah so I like that theory but that's not what I was talking about I was talking about the mother load of slop coming from Britain coming from Kirstarmer who out of control probably what is this the digital ID or both

digital ID? What? The ID? the digital ID is out of control but the slop this isn't actually coming directly from but I just I can't believe you don't know which one it is this is the mother load of slop

if you had to guess out of our articles which I'm calling the mother load of slop I don't know first cousin marriages have their benefits NHS guideline despite birth effect risk so they'd release

Hey guys marrying your first cousin's actually pretty cool the blogosphere and the NHS corrupt organizations first they want you fucking eating bugs first they want you

after they want you eating bugs now they want you fucking lady in the tramp eating bugs with your first cousin they want you just like a giant cricket you're both on each end of it and you just eat until you kiss your first cousin cousin in the tramp

yeah cousin in the trap that's what they want you're just making out with your first friggin cousin isn't that something else and obviously what happened was that there's a lot of people from different cultures

I'm not going to say what they are but it rhymes with blueish and, no, it's not. But there's other cultures that it's like more of a normal practice to very fucking first cousins. Sure. And they're trying to be culturally sensitive to that. Yeah.

So they're just being like, because they're here in the upsides. And you're like, yeah, there's some downsides like half your kids are retarded. Right. Yeah. And they go, well, you know, everything has costs and benefits. They're literally out here being like, yes, it's possible that your kids are going to have way more birth defects, but imagine how much cheaper the wedding will be.

Less seats. Yeah. Some family members will be. be accounted for instead of one uncle instead of two uncles that's one uncle yeah I love that the NHS too they posted this and then they go yeah we're just like reposting an article like this isn't like an endorsement you're like I mean you reposted it from like the national health service or whatever you're like what do you mean what do you mean yeah you go oh we just happened to come across this thought you guys would be interested in this article we found like it's your mom

like fucking DMing you being like hey I found an article your mom DMs you being like dicks or tasty yeah it seems like an endorsement oh what I I don't have a comment either way. Yeah, yeah, he goes, oh, yeah, I have no thoughts on this. It's just an article we came across. This is the ultimate slop of the year. Yeah. And people want to talk about conspiracies with Blackstone, Black Rock.

People want to talk about conspiracies with the world economic foreign. They now want you marrying your fucking cousin. They want you in your house, eating slop, consuming their slop with your cousin. Just having a bunch of fucking... You're dick in your cousin's mouth. Have a bunch of deliverance kids. Cousin's pussy in your house. Playing the banjo on a fucking port.

Eat, know, your first cousin. Oh, my God. That would be crazy if you get an arranged marriage with your parents and they arranged your cousin. You show up and you go to that too? Yeah, I thought this is supposed to be like I've never met her before. It's like, I know my cousin. Isn't that out of, I mean, that is crazy that they're just like, yeah, we're trying to find here's something that's provably bad.

We all know it's bad. It's like illegal in many places. Oh, it's the same as the same with, um... Is it illegal? Is it not illegal in the UK to marry your first cousin? I think some places they have incest laws, yeah, because you're just like, I don't know everywhere. I mean, the thing is, it's like, it's the NHS, you go, this is a massive burden on the health care system. Oh, not to mention, yeah.

Like a financial burden. If you go, if we're just coming out with all these, like, deformed kids and stuff. Yeah, the percentage chance that you're more deformed is like, I think it was like a 40% higher or something like that. I think it's something like 30% or 40% chance of having. Yeah, I'm in person. Obviously, your sniffles is because of some in breeding in there somewhere. Probably somewhere down the line. fucking a couple kissing cousins

and now I fucking can't stop sniffling. Who is it Jerry Lewis that married his cousin? Jerry Lewis. Jerry Lewis. Jerry Lewis. I mean, here's the thing is like, because a lot of people are like, yeah, you know, back in the old country,

like, that was common. And you're like, there is some thing to it where you're like, yeah, I lived in like a fucking little village of 80 people. And you're like, that's just like what was around. My cousin was hotter than the, yeah, yeah. You're just like, you're like, there wasn't a lot of options. And you're like, okay, not great.

Yeah. I understand, right? Whereas you're like, you weren't able to travel. It's just like there's nobody around. Now it's just like, how many people are in the UK? Like fucking 90 million or something? Exactly. You're like, you need to marry.

Now you're just like, this is a fetish. Now that's your thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is like, this is kink. This is cousin kink right here. I used to talk about the joke where it's like, you're not allowed to have sex with someone that's mentally retarded. Yeah.

And because of that, it was always funny to me. It's the same as anything. Like, whenever they have to do these laws, someone has to take the other side, right? Like, same as when they're talking about age of consent, and they're, like, you know, 18. Like, someone takes the other side by being, like, little high. And it's just, like, always weird. Sure. You know, it's just like, these laws, it's always weird to take the other side when they're debating it.

Like, you know, you probably shouldn't be allowed to marry your cousin. Like, one person has to be like, wow. I mean, excuse me, my cousin, have you seen my cousin? Have you seen how hot my cousin is? I was kind of doing a joke where I was talking about, um, that everyone's principles about politics, because everyone with politics a lot of times, kind of weird talking about the free speech stuff,

and so many people's principles when it comes, you can find a place where they'll leave them, right? And I was saying that people's principles with politics are kind of like guys' principles with having sex with women, where a lot of times we'll be just like, dude, I would never drive 500 miles to have sex with a woman, and then, you know, after a bit of a drive spell, you're on the road. Like, it's actually not that far.

The road again I can't wait to get on the moon I've been to a flagged Arizona Yeah Let's go everywhere Man Pistles can be malleable

In certain Certain scenarios Right Are you just like yeah And I've been saying That you know I'm not paying a thousand dollars For like a dinner

That's insane And then you know The girl's hot enough And you're just like Wow whatever I probably You know Could put it on the credit card

We'll figure that out You know And you go I would never have sex With a blood relative That's what you had brought it up because I wonder if that's like Because I think this is specifically referenced

Mostly at Pakistani people Yeah yeah yeah It's Muslims in general The reason why they're being sensitive about the topic Right, right But I like I wonder if that's a big genre And they're like porn and is like first cousin porn Because you know like the step

Step is like the biggest one in America Good question Yeah like are they just like fucking I'm not gonna check it out right now Like you're your first cousin stuck in a dryer Has there been any Has there been any Do you think there's any first cousin gay porn?

I mean, that's fucked up is like that's the best kind And it's the safest kind You're right You're right Whenever they talk about incest They're like well that's the one That there's no moral obligation Because they can't have a kid

Yeah And the whole thing is that would be funny if NHS Because I go Yo we were talking about two gays Two gay Muslims That is so funny to think about two fucking male cousins marrying each other. Yeah, that would be a grand opening, grand closing.

That wouldn't last too long. Oh, we're getting married on top of a roof, huh? It's for the photo, as you say. So guidance published last week in NHS, which is England's genomic education program says first cousin marriage is linked to stronger extended family support and economic advantages.

Yeah, so, hey, you know how it's always so hard to find someone to take care of your fucking clubfoot kid? It's because I don't have any family. He goes, now you've got tons of family around. Extended family support. It doesn't even make sense because you're just like, so, okay,

so you have one family instead of two. So you have less family members. Yes, correct. So you're just like, well, what? The grandmother's more likely to take care of the kid because it's her grand kid twice. Right, yeah, yeah. He's like, well, it's just her one grandkids, she wouldn't, she's like, I'm busy.

And you're like, well, it's both of my grandkids. Like, it doesn't even make sense that you would have more family support. No, it doesn't make sense. You'd have less family support because you'd have less family. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, how many New York people do we know where? Also, it's like, do these people in question have small families generally? Right.

Right? You're like, these are people with the massive. We're all seen a fucking Indian wedding. It's like 900 people. It's a week. You're like, is this a problem for them? Not enough. you're right not enough family support but i don't know if a pakistani wedding is the same thing but

but it's double wrong because your point is that like as if you need more family support you guys have big families but like it also this wouldn't solve it either because it has less family not more family correct i guess the hypothesis is because it's a relative they're more support right now they're really on board no they might be less on board because some people might be like this is weird yeah yeah it's there's so much support like your uncle is just you're uncle again. Yeah. Whoever wrote this is probably just really wants to fuck their cousin. Your uncle's also your dad-in-law? This is like cousin's 100% here. A guy that's just like has his cousin's pod. And he's like, she's like, we can't

do this. She's like, it's, it's not good. Yes, he's behind the scenes. Yeah, yeah. And he's like, no, I'm telling you. It's like, look at this article that just came out from the NHS of all places. This is a guy putting a full long plan to work. He's been infiltrating the NHS all so he could smash his cousin, getting his cousin on the mailing list. He's been the last six months telling his cousin, like the NHS is like the top to your organization. I've been looking at all the organizations. It's the only one I trust. They're never wrong. He's been filling his cousin's head with this propaganda while simultaneously setting up alter ego's, getting degrees, getting a job at the NHS, also he could drop his full, all to drop the full

endorsement of the cousin wedding, which he will then go to her and he goes, crazy article. I mean, I wouldn't have thought, but like as we- He's just like leaving multiple copies around everywhere. I personally, I wouldn't have thought that, but as we've been discussing for the last seven years, NHS is the only source that we trust. Yeah, you know, they really want us to get together. They want us to try it. Are we? Should we? I mean, shh, shh, shh, shh, she goes, what are you doing? Who are we to argue with the NHS? More family support. Yeah, man.

So much family support. You could used to be like a respectable place. Just think about all the economic advantages. So much family around. Oh my God, there's going to be so much fucking family around. It's going to be swimming in family. We can't afford not. We can't afford not to smash.

Yeah. Shh, take your clothes off. We can't afford not to smash. This is borderline, new low for them. They're hitting new lows on the week. These people deserve to be fucking tart and feathered. Yeah, I don't know what's on. Tart and pleathered.

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Well that's the thing because he goes Starmer along with members of the labor government Has argued that education should be prioritized Instead of overreaching government mandates And this is one of the reasons he said We don't want to get involved But that is rich You guys want to get involved in fucking everything

That is rich Yeah you don't want to get involved You guys, you're gonna get your fingers in fucking everything If I had a fucking nickel for every time This piece of garbage got involved tough. Guys got his fingers and everything. Now he wants his fingers in your first cousin.

I'd be able to afford a real woman instead of my cousin. Hey, cousin's still a real woman. Isn't that rich? Yeah. The audacity of this piece of garbage? I don't know. The crazy thing is like,

we always talk shit about this. You know, you talk shit about like in Canada, you know, they still keep electing these people. That is the craziest part is we watch a shit from the sidelines. You go, this is crazy. Like, and then you go, all right,

election time, they go, they won again. Yeah, yeah. And like, they just like, you're like, this is what people want. It is what people want. Yeah, so it is bizarre. Different cultures, like a lot of those cultures love to be censored, man.

It's their favorite thing. Censor me, daddy. Censor me, daddy. But that is crazy to start to be pitching the benefits. Like, you don't have to change your last name? Just think of that. You just save the day.

No arguing over inheritance? No, no. In the general population, a child's chance of being born with a genetic condition is around 2% to 3%. this increases to four to six percent with children of first cousins hence most children of first cousins are healthy uh so they're just like most likely yeah yeah yeah you'll be healthy 94% chance yeah but you're good to go one in 20 chance of being like this yeah yeah like has some crazy deformity the 100% chance of fucking your hot cousin the conservatives also so this is the other part of it that's the it's a pretty important part that um that gets glossed over so one of the reasons that people that are against this wanted to stop is because cousin marriages are used as backdoor to immigration because

basically you know people come and then they marry their cousin and then do the reunification to get them here so they're like there are yeah there are people doing the cousin marriage where they aren't actually smashing I for sure some of the guys are probably like we got to consummate though how does the government even know if you're a cousin though like how do like do they you know if you're like I'm marrying this person you're like does the government like you know the immigration stuff or they're like finding out if that's your cousin I guess you are right really hard for like old country like you know from some third world to be like...

How do you find a ledger that your dad's brothers with his and their dad? They go, we want your entire family tree to make sure. And they go, yeah, they're all named Muhammad Muhammad. Dude, me and my brother had kids and they started fucking, you'd be like, ugh. Hell?

Yeah. You sickos? Yeah. I mean, you would dissuade it. Yeah, you'd be like, this is not good. I don't know if this is true, but they said in Dearborn, Michigan, that they actually have to play the call to prayer

and the thing. Is that true? I don't know. Look that up. I mean, it is I believe the largest Muslim population in America. I know, but you know, like in a lot of those places, they actually blast the call to prayer, which to me, if you're not religion, that's hell on earth. Imagine just any song. I was, you know, I used to have a joke, but it's just like a rooster. Yeah. You ever been somewhere where there's five times a day?

You ever been somewhere? Submits to pray five times a day. Did you five finds a wait. The mosques do. How far does it go? But they have speakers on them. Yeah, they have speakers on them, but it's probably like all is just like totally, like that entire area is probably Muslim. Can you imagine that?

Everyone's living like Danny getting on your knees five times a day? The Danny special. D.P. Special. Oh, are you Muslim? What? Oh, what? Yeah. Allah Akbar, pal.

My favorite was when I... Al-a-Dick suck. How about that? I thought it was my favorite one when I was in Toronto and I went to this rug store and I was buying a rug and the guy was down. the floor praying and I went in and he just goes one second and he was finished his prey and then I've said this before but he finished his prey and then he got up and he goes we got great deals today how you do he got right into like sleazy salesman mode after praying yeah yeah you just

have to get a quick quick little prayer well I think he was on there being like he's praying for a he's praying for a sale please send me a fucking sucker for me to rinse and then Ryan shows up he goes oh you guys are going out of business cool must be some good deals I was like yeah that was like him right off the floor my friend my friend my friend my friend my friend my friend That was like every rug store That was like in the East end right Probably like on Girard East There was like in Toronto

There's like it was all This was lands down the other side There was like because it was all rug store Oh yeah There's like every store is like going out of business For like 10 years Yeah then they had that one store Where it was like everything

It was like the chair for $800 You remember that one Like in my parliament Just like the biggest warehouse of stuff But it was like the biggest store in all of Toronto It was like five blocks this fucking thing And you'd go in and it'd just be like a table

For $9000 And we usually just say the guy who is a guy that owns all this stuff and he has a store but he really hates selling he wants to keep all this stuff but his wife's like you gotta get rid of some of it and he's like well okay if someone wants to pay $12,000 for this stepping stool

eventually someone will but speaking of that side of the world Saudi Arabia Comedy Festival me and Danny have not been asked to do it no I was actually asked I'd turn his own well they told me that they would let me do it without you and I said fucking you know you got the wrong guy

they kind of fucking good cop bad cop us. They were like prisoner dilemmaing us. They put us in different rooms. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, Danny already agreed for $40. I said he pays way over here, too. Danny already signed you up for $40. So I think that, yeah, I have not been asked. I do love

the open bikers who were like, I would never do this. Just like, you would drive 12 hours for a drink ticket. You would drive 12 hours to do like a show at a brewery and bum fuck nowhere for 10 people. And then you'd suck off a promoter. Yeah, you just goes, all right, would never well you are right

so there is like a big war over this festival right my boy Jake is picking this up now this is a big Jake Tapper thing now he's been covering Taps is on it all over it what's Taps been doing Tapmeister is just like he's not liking it Taps isn't happy the comedians you're doing it no no no he's he's taking the side of

the people he goes these people did 9-11 yeah well just to go back to your other point before I you know say my thoughts on it like there is something to be said about anytime there's a lot of people standing up and taking a stand and this industry specifically that is full of sociopaths and psychopaths and narcissists, you're always looking around being like, sure, except you. You know what I mean? You're just like, there's a lot of

people that take stands and you're just like, yeah, there's something to be, of course, be said about this, but you, you will murder your mother. Oh, yeah. For four seconds of fame. Yes. For, yeah, like you said, for a feature spot in Branford, Ontario, you will slit your mother's throat like a Taliban beheading video. Happily, yeah. So there's always an asterisk around when you look at the people doing it and I'm just, you watch and you're just like, sure, but not you.

Yeah, and I understand the people who are like, yeah, they're like they did 9-11 and I don't know, like I don't really know where I, because you know, the Saudi is basically like, there is something to be said about being Canadian where you're just like, you don't have as much of a visceral, like, I guess. I mean, look, if they offer me fucking 375 grand to go to an hour, I probably would have done it.

You know, I don't, I mean, if you looked at how much, if you look at how much people are worth, like they were doing it or because it was like, I actually know for the fact that my people did 9-11, but I would be like, you know, you're like this, they didn't actually- Guys. Yeah. Well, if you think about it there, I'd be like, yo, it's so sick you guys all wear dresses. Thanks for taking the

credit for what we... I've turned down lots of, lots of money, way higher than that for things. Yeah. So I'm I will say, I'm a guy that's known to turn down things. And I usually don't even tell people, like you know things that turn down, but I don't really make a big stink about it, but I'm actually a pretty big

turned down guy, and I'm not that motivated by money. And if I look around at the people that like, if you look at, like, you know what Tim got, I know what some people were getting for those things, and if you look at their net worth versus, you know, how much they make a year versus what that was, not that crazy.

So for what I probably would have got, wouldn't have, I do not lose sleep turning down big months of money. So the only thing I will say, is in my extreme loopiness, it is also very possible that it might slip through the cracks where something like this would come,

I'm on tour, I get an email where they're just like, hey, there's this festival, like Louis C.K. is doing it, Bill Burr is doing it. And it's like, where Riyadh or Saudi Arabia are. I'm kind of like, I'm not really like,

I don't know what the difference is, but I'm just like, oh, is that the place where all the crypto bros live? And I'm kind of not really putting it together. I'm just like, oh, that sounds cool. Yeah, maybe I would, and then not. No, you would literally be like, they did.

You're like, I thought Osama Bin Laden to 9-11. What do you mean, the Saudis, 9-11? So it is very possible that something like this would slip through the cracks on me. But if I actually did, you know, put it together and I started being like, yeah, I mean, there's a very, I turned down stuff so often. Yeah. You know, think about it. We were going to do, we've got offered multiple shows overseas that were high amounts of money that I was just like, you know, the fucking regulations on the jokes or all this shit. I have to do the department of humor stuff.

And you're just like, nah, I don't want to. So the idea that I would turn it down, it's like, I turned down stuff like crazy. So I think that the very possible. I also think I'm loopy enough that maybe one would slip through the cracks where I wouldn't even notice. I mean, look, like, nobody's giving fucking everybody in the WWE, like, a hard time about performing the WWE. You're like, they do. Remember, a lot of people get a hard, not to this degree, I feel like, you know, I don't know if like these guys are getting the kind of smoke. Like, because, you know, Saudi's own WWE now, you're like, I don't know, I haven't heard this guy.

I know when live golf happened everybody That's what I was gonna say Live golf everybody was giving them a hard time Yeah But they were also like these were golf fans Who were like mad where they're like You're ruining golf You're like you're splitting up golf

Into like two leagues You're like taking half the fucking best players And like just putting them in this league That like nobody watches Yeah you're just taking There was like a golf like purest element to it That was less to do with like the Saudi You know but even like

It's the hypocrisy for some people right Like there is people that your whole thing is You know this and you go They're the end And you're getting the money directly from the government. Like, I get... Yeah, if you're the speaking truth to power guy, and, like, that's your identity.

Like, like, the bill burn, you know, you're like, eh, not the greatest look, but, like, yeah, I don't care fucking... Right, but yeah, you kind of are, like, it depends on, like, what you've been saying. Like, Russell Peter... Like, Mark Norman is probably just like, yeah, I don't do that, so... Russell Peter is, like, been doing that.

Yeah, he's been, like, yeah. Dude, he's out there D-Peeing chicks with the fucking Saturday Royals. Oh, he's shitting on chess. He's fucking having a good time. Like, Schultz, didn't he already do all those places? I guess, like, you know... This is different because it's coming from the government. Yeah, this is different.

And, like, but he's done, like, a lot of those places, yeah. How has there not been one article that said no laughing matter on this? Funny you say that. You found one? It was, that was... Saudi festivals, no laughing matter. Tap man used... Tap man said no laughing matter.

Yeah, the tap man said no laughing matter. That was the fucking... Yeah. Oh, no, tap man was no laughing matter for Kimmel getting canceled. They did this whole special. Like, this, like, one hour special on CNN. Oh, really? Like, government censorship or whatever.

whatever and like with the Kimmel thing and it was titled no laughing matter yeah for the whole thing I'm sure it's no laughing matter for there has to have been but I didn't see it yet I haven't seen it for Riyadh but yeah people are getting shit there is definitely you know it's a person by person there's some hypocrisy if you are American and you were you know there's I don't know it's like case by case but yeah on general like I understand the outrage where people are like you know if you're if you're if you're if you're really into like you know uh speaking about you know authoritarianism and totalitarian regimes and then you take their check like that is i do get the idea that you go there's a difference between taking money from the government and taking

money from the thing but yeah i don't know yeah like if you tim was hilarious about it he was just like yeah i take the he's like yeah get paid fuck you right there's enough money you know you just got to give people enough money i don't expect me to say your bullshit for free and then he got fired from it which is hilarious man slaves that's the other thing is i would also get fired from dude I'm not do you know how many times I've done a corporate and it worked out it's rare do you remember

when my thing where I did that billionaire conference and then I fucking I didn't follow any of the rules people were walking out it was not a good fucking debacle and then I came home and I did a podcast that said I went to a billionaire conference and I fucking said all these things that

then I got immediately calls from people being like you signed NDAs yeah you get don't talk about that I would be I'd be in a fucking Saudi prison right now. Yeah, I know. Well, that's the core, because, you know, we know a lot of comics here. You're like, you do have that urge when you go. So when they're like, you're not allowed to say this thing.

Where, like, the comedian urge is, you're like, how close can I get to the line here? And I'm also a guy that I, you know, the amount of times in my life, I think it's a mix of loopiness. I think it's obliviousness. I also think I have a high fear tolerance or risk tolerance. There's just so many times that I've, like, walked my way into a situation where as an adult had to be like a kid sitting in a teacher's office you know what i mean like in the band just being like just doing i remember you know doing things like you'd get we would get hired to do some fucking like school or university or something and then

i'd be like making videos and then we would go break into the the like the guidance office at the university and just be like making videos of us like fucking around on the desks and then like and honestly like not even like just waking up the next morning to like nine phone calls being like, did you break into the fucking school's office and then film a video and put it online? I'm just like, yeah, I guess that's kind of crazy. Like, dude, even when we were filming the show, right? We had the TV show and there was so many things where like eventually we were getting sued by the fucking Holt Renfrew and all these places.

And like, at the time, I'm just like, oh, this is funny. Yeah, that'd be crazy. And then all of a sudden you're getting sued and you're just like, yeah, I guess we're, I'm looking at a fucking haze of doing shit. Like, as soon as I really have a stick up their ass, huh? I think I'm a little better now But like I'm very much like You I'm just like on autopilot

Yeah Doing stuff and then I kind of like And then all you kind of like wake up And I'm like you know You have managers and agents like yelling at you Being like what the fuck were you thinking And I'm just like Fuck yeah you're right

Just even at school same thing Suspended fucking nine times You know everything kicked out a residence At university like I've gone through life Escaping being in jail by the skin of my teeth, like being removed from every institution, you know.

I mean, yeah, when you're, you're excited to yuck yucks, you get kicked out of residence. You know, someone tells you, uh,

hey, you can do this thing, but you can't say this online. Then I do it. And then they, you know, advertisements that I do. And they're just like,

hey, you can't, it's like, please do not disparage our product as you're doing a read for it. Right. So it is very much in actual conflict of interest

for my life to go do a gig like that. I'm actually playing it with fire. I know. Yeah. I'm not a, equipped. I mean, it's risky for sure, but yeah, I don't know. It's one of those things where like, I mean, people are, I don't know how much like regular people care about this, to be honest, like regular Americans, like your average American if they're like, because obviously 99% of

everything I've heard is from other comedians. No, I've seen a lot, well, influencers, I've seen like tons of people making videos about it. It's a hot topic. Yeah, it's a hot topic. But I meet just like your average person. You go, is this something you care about? You're like, someone who's just like a fan who's just like, yeah, you're just like a casual Dave Chappelle fan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That he went and did this. Well, it depends on the person. I don't think Dave Chappelle's give two sheds.

No, I don't think so. But it depends on the person. Yeah. Like, there's definitely certain people where you're like, all right, bit hypocrisy from you. Certain people that you're like, yeah, I mean, that's on brand for you. Exactly. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Like Kevin Hart, you're just like, yeah, you're going to go to some huge stadium for, you know, city billionaires. You're like, that feels about like you. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. feels about like I'm sure you Kevin Hart was not one of the ones

on the line I'm like oh that's weird it's funny though because there's actually way more comics than it's on that poster and there's like famous comics

who made it on that poster and they're probably just like Oh some people that slipped out yeah like I saw like Jack Whitehall who's like he's pretty famous he just slipped out

he's not like they just like didn't make the poster and then they put a little sass on there yeah yeah and he's probably he's getting killed yeah and he's probably just like

sick didn't make the poster remember the Chinese comedy clubs people used to go there and you're just like dude if you talk shit about the government it's like fuck already did that already did it apparently well yeah what

they do there is some of the guys know like oh when the government guys come in they have like a you know they give you the light of like hey the government guys here but imagine getting the fucking light from the government you're on stage it's just like a blinking red light you go yeah that's the CCP that's not us get off you know hof I fucked up this is the thing like some dude a military suit is lighting yeah this guy work here remember we did the fucking yeah we did the corporate for the chicken company. I've done corporates in my life where legitimately the person who runs the show

is like sprinting, full vault, you know, as fast as they can go from one side to like dive to like turn the sound system off to kick us off stage. I mean, in my mind, I'm just like, pretty good set there. The guy's like, pretty good set. It's like, you know how many fucking contracts we just lost?

You just ruined my life. Like, these guys are all truck drivers, and they're offended. What did you do? In my mind, I'm just like, that's a pretty good one. You hired me for my act. You get my act, okay? Ryan Long's going to do what Ryan Long's going to do. I thought I was being reasonable.

I'm out here on a Saudi stage talking about, you know, having sex with the Prophet Muhammad? Big no-no. I'm telling you, brother, I'm not equipped for these sort of things. Yeah, it's funny. Bill Burr, like, on his... his podcast was like, yeah, I was in Riyadh, and I wasn't sure he goes, yeah, these guys are just like us. That's his deal. He just goes, yeah, they're just like us. I don't know if they're just

like us. They just like us. They just like us. I don't know about just like us. I don't know about just like us. Listen, I mean, but Sally is again, I guess like, here's the problem with this because you're like, there is an element where they're like, yeah, we're trying to like move and, you know, become more westernized and they have that new guy who's like in charge and he's like, yeah, we're trying to be like more cool and westernized and they're like, yeah, but you still can't like killing journalists and stuff. Well, this is what there's... Killing a journalist, the biggest crime?

Eh. You know, I'm sure everybody watching this right now, I go, look, if I let you just fucking full purge day, government shut down, you go, we'll let you kill one journalist, fucking freebie, you're not taking one? There's not one journalist where you go, yeah!

Take a crack at it. Yeah, you get one where you just go, you can have that one. No fucking, no harm, no foul. We'll just get rid of them. And you go, I have some ideas. Yeah, if I get one to purge. Yeah.

You get one of the purge? But, yes, that is somewhat true. And you'd be on the phone with them and just being like, you know, explain the journalism thing. And they're like, you got to see this guy's articles. You know, he did four not laughing matter articles. And then on top of that, you're like, all right. And you're just like, you know, he's like, you know, it's a million dollars. Let me finish.

Yeah. We're not allowed to speak in public. You go, okay, I'm listening. You've seen my act. I see. I'd be fucked, dude. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm not equipped. It would be one of those. like when you like kind of a spicy joke and then like people like it way too much and you go i don't like oh yeah of course you'd be like yeah women should be allowed to speak just like standing ovation you're like um that's just the premise you're like that's just the setup i haven't even gotten the punchline you guys like it as a little too much i had a guy at my show this weekend in um uh Cincinnati a guy i'm on stage doing my act I'm walking on my hands, I'm juggling

There's a guy in the show Sparks up a cigarette They come out A bit of a bad Start trying to kick him out It's a whole debacle Everyone's watching I'm just doing my act

I'm being like Oh maybe I lost him on that one a little bit I finally am like what's going on For the last nine minutes A guy's been getting kicked out Smoking a cigarette No clue That's where I'm at

That's how oblivious I am Amen And yeah but they do have They do fucking have a little bit of the that conversation always comes back

every five ten years or you know every five ten months maybe there's some artist is going to go somewhere and they kind of have the conversation of like does it actually do anything

to do like a boycott of going over there like to say no I'm still all of the sudden done I'm of the mind that like if you are someone that are like you know you kind of have

like you know strong political stances on things you do kind of have to you should live in accordance to them. I agree. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Especially if you're like, and that's like, you know, there's one thing to be like a brand. Like, you can't be like, oh, I'm this like biggest Democrat in the world and then here's my like sponsorship for like Trump, you know, Trump watches. I mean, David Cross, like, he came out with some big statements. Oh, he's not happy camper. Not a happy camper. And he came out with this big statement or whatever. And you're like, you know, he's similar to like, you know, you should kind of like, you know, be consistent with your bill. Like, he used to be like, you know, advertisers are the worst. And then he was the fucking M&M and M. Yeah, everyone's a hypocrite. You know what I mean? You're like. And he was like, and he was. And he was. You know what I mean. You're like. And you're like. And he was. And was like yeah i was them and i did the fucking chipmunk movie because they offered me a house and i you know they offered me enough money to buy a new house and i go okay yeah all of those things i go i guess the fucking they're not actually that's what

Shane said he was just like um he was like stop they're like they doubled the offer and then he was like please don't uh make any more offers because at some point there's going to be a number i have to say yes to yeah right he goes just please stop giving me offers yeah like don't send them to me something like that's yeah but yeah i mean at the end of the the royal family in Saudi they are Gerbers A bunch of fucking Gerbers Is that your new Toronto slang, Ryan?

See, I can't tell I see those Toronto videos I know what you're talking about it I can't tell you don't know Gerber Gerber? No, Gerber is It's just like a fucking loser But essentially it was from Gerber baby food That's what started

I feel like this guy's a fucking You know the kid on the table Because I see like I see those like Toronto fucking video That would be me on this on the at the sodium maybe a festival and I'd just be on stage being like

yo loki yo men still is like a fucking garber for killing journalists and shit eh? Yeah yeah because I yeah that's honestly like fucking waste man behavior fucking shooting

beheading journalist yo kinda waste man tings though yeah I see those Toronto slang videos where they're like at the mall and go what's your favorite Toronto slang and then that was one of them recently and then but I can't tell if they're like doing a bit yeah

yeah and they go this isn't people are or if they're actually calling people Gerber's. No, Gerber is a big one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what's interesting. I've even kind of thinking there is like some hypocrisy.

Not hypocrisy, but it's just like this kind of weird thing where you know what sort of and we're going to talk about like the Portland thing a little bit too, but there is something that's like kind of weird about. So if you think about kind of like the like liberal stance on like criminals or whatever, right?

Yeah. It's very much like the pro criminal. right yeah and in a way it's just like it's not their fault they go society has made them criminals like like it's kind of like everybody starts with a blank slate there's no bad people yeah and society force them to and it's sort of a losing stance always to sort of you know support like essentially like anti-social 25 year old men over like the safety of like women children essentially which is like which is essentially what you're doing right but it's like so they're it's kind of like yeah

the ones doing the bad things, like, you know, they should, but if you talk about like a country, like Saudi Arabia or like another country, they would kind of be like, well, they actually are at fault. It's kind of like, in a weird way, it's like picking and choosing who is accountable for their actions. Right. Like it's kind of like on a one to one basis, like a criminal, they're like, they have no accountability. But then on like a broader level, you'd be like some dictator or like someone that they disagreed with politically. You're like, this guy's completely accountable 100% for everything. Yeah. I also, that's kind of a weird dichon Yeah, I also don't get how, like, because everybody, you know, maybe you have an idea on this, but like, I don't get, everybody's like, oh, they do this, like, with LiveGolf and WWE to, like, whitewash their reputation. And you're like, but we still know their reputation. Like, it's, I'm not like, oh, they kill journalism, but they have WWE now. Like, I don't, they're trying to be a real modern city. Yeah, they're trying to be a modern thing or whatever. But they see U.A.E. having people fucking move there and just tax dollars. I guess. I'm like, I, like, do people see, they go, oh, Riyadh is a fucking comedy festival? I'm going to go vacation to Riyadh. Like, that's what it is.

Yeah. Hell yeah. Maybe not. It starts with not like your average fucking Danny White person. Sure. But it starts with like your average like Persian in Toronto being like, yo, actually might look like you can go to Saudi now. Like you're telling me your average, you know, Iranian person that lives in fucking North York

or Jersey is just be like, oh, you know, it's on the table. Yeah, to go to Riyadh. Yeah, maybe do the Dubai thing, I guess. Right. Yeah. So that is happening. But yeah, you'd be up there fucking tap dancing for the sheik. Danny be up there

and fucking Hello my baby Hello my hearty Hello my ragtime gal You know when you're married to your cousin And it's just awesome You know when you're wearing a dress all the time And then you're fucking

Just sweating But then you get a nice cool breeze up on the balls That's nice huh Boys boys boys boys boys boys boys Men should be wearing dresses 100% of the time I'm Danny Pullishuck Don't

And I won't let the door hit me on the way up Might know you're going hard on you're like you know my Jewish mother is such a fucking stupid Jew you're like you're pandering them too hard you know

I'm Danny I have a Jewish family who should all be shot like just going real fucking pandering Cause of all problems everywhere Am I right folks If I could kill myself Nothing on that I'm bad news

Let's just say that Yeah Yes, that's the real self-depreciate. You go, you're liking this a little too much. Yeah. You know when you're, yeah, you know when you're fucking married to your third cousin? And you're like, my second cousin starts looking good? And you're like, could I have a second cousin?

What about multiple wives? You know, when your fourth wife's, you know, acting up, you got to demote her? But that was my seventh wife? My general policy was, it's a little bit case by case. I might not have done it because I turned down fucking mad shit and on top of that

stuff like that is not suited for me because I'm too much of an inadvertent loose canon and I don't want to say it's not even that I'm like No you'd literally be like You'd like fucking too loopy for shit like that

Dude you'd literally be like say something about Islam and they go No you're not allowed to criticize religions You go Wait is Islam in religion Oh shit Anyways please be lenient on me You know fuck

dude I got confused I was thinking of something else yeah dude I honestly feel like whenever they give you a bunch of rules I'm like yeah I'll try but I don't know you fucking you know Jeff Ross wants to fucking roast

the royal family so bad yeah he's probably pretty good at like roasting people in like a complimentary way of course yeah yeah this guy gets so much pussy that fucking man that's the ultimate fucking comedy I'm a pimp if I taste his dick comedy on hard mode you go yeah I'm gonna roast them

but but nice Do it. I can handle it. Yeah, yeah, no shit. And you go, all right. That'd be scary. One of your jokes doesn't later, you're like, well, I'm dead. That sucked. Literally a fucking court jester at that point. Look at this guy.

Everyone, you know, the great chic. I don't know, is it a chic or whatever? The great royal family, so happy to have them here. Look, someone didn't wash his clothes. He's got a little bit of a stain on his shoulder. Come with us. Right this way, sir, Mr. Ross. Yeah. Uh-oh.

thing if I bomb, I know no journalists are going to cover it. Am I right, people? Do you think anyone makes a bombing joke? I don't know. That's that was what I was. I'm bombing up here. You guys know what I'm that's the shit I want to see? It's like the people who are like you know like Mark Norman so autistic? He might fucking accidentally do something like that. You think

he might fuck around? I'm not up here. Uh-oh. I mean, there's another part of it. If you do go there and you fuck around a lot, you do it will be press. You know, if you're spending seven years. I mean, that's the thing, dude, you don't want to do a set where you need the fucking consulate to fucking intervene. You know, I don't, you bombed so badly, like, Trump has to, like, make a phone call.

But imagine how famous that would make you. Pretty famous, yeah. If you're sitting in a set. I think nobody would have any sympathy for you because you're like, you went and took all this money. You're like, what an idiot. Like, there would be some element where you're just like, yeah, what are you doing? Oh, wait, there'd be a lot of people being like, you reaping. You sell it.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you might be right. Yeah, I would just be sitting in a. Saudi prison. Yeah, exactly. We're in the robes. I'd be fucking Schillinger. You can't even start a white supremacy gang because there's no one there.

I'd start a one man white supremac. Because, you know, it's all racial politics in jail. You guys know how jail works. So it's me trying to start the Aryan Brotherhood in a fucking Saudi Arabian prison. No, you'd be, dude, day one, you'd be like looking around and you go, all right, what directions, Mecca? Over there? No, I show up and I was like, I'm just wearing the.

the old like hip-hop clothing brand mecca and I was like I thought you guys this is your shit lashings I would definitely be getting lashed spanked every day man gay as shit nothing gayer than the spankings in the town square where a grown man it's a spank another grown man yeah that's not well I don't know if they call it spanking though

well it is though yeah they call it lashing but you're spanking them that's true quicker yeah a little bit a little bit yeah that's what no good now we I mean that's also One of the reasons why we will not be asked is... Yeah, yeah. I'm hoping I can stay enough stuff on podcasts where they're just never even asked.

I never have to put myself in that position. I really don't. I don't know. I just, for whatever way that I'm wired, I do not lose sleep over walking away for money. No. Like, I thought I would, because there's been a couple times where there's been amounts where, yeah, you do think about it. You're just like, fuck, you like, you know, that's much you make, like, doing this and this and this year. It's like, okay, maybe you just start thinking, like, well, you know what if I, maybe I'll make a movie with that.

You start thinking those kind of things, right? Yeah. And in your mind, you're just like, yeah, I wonder if I'd be affected, but I'm not at all. I, like, wake up the next morning, I forget all about it. What about the fact of the fucking U.S. Treasury, the windfall they're getting, the IRS is getting half of everybody's money. Oh, yeah. IRS should fucking, the government shut down and they're taking half.

Yeah, your government shutdowns really getting paid off this. They're not working, and they're just taking half of all the Saudi money? I don't know. Somehow the government, they take time off, and they actually look like. they're doing more work because they're just not doing damage. This is like the ultimate. That's the Rand Paul joke, obviously. But I mean, it's like the Twitter thing where you go, yeah, so nobody's working and

go, yeah, everything seems to be moving along, fine. Moving along actually better. Do we really need all of you? All of a sudden, yeah, the government didn't get involved and mess around, mock around. Yeah. Boys, this episode's brought to you by prize picks. We've been telling you about prize picks. And listen, you and I and Daniel, we make decisions every day.

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doing a hilarious shit, though? This is my second favorite one. My first favorite was the cousins. But Pete Hagseth is on a, like, war path right now saying he doesn't want any more fat people in the army.

No more fats. No more fats. you'd be buddy if he walked up to you it spit on you dude you'd have the fucking calipers out immediately he'd be like fucking let's see that gut pinch it egg set declares war on fat generals uh everybody thought this was gonna be so funny too because everybody's like he's calling in all the generals they're like oh my god this is like world war three and then he's like no he just called him to call him fat everyone step on your scales eggs is coming through yeah it's hilarious though yeah i mean that being said if you're going to be in the army you show It shouldn't be fat.

Yeah, for sure. You're like, he's just like, yo, we can't have fat fucking people in the army. Goes both ways, though. If I was in- Minimum requirements for, like, you know, testing every year. Yeah, it's not crazy, but... You've got to be able to jog a 5K.

Buddy. Yeah. However, if you were in another country's army and you did see a fat army coming at you, yeah. Honestly, be pretty scary. You think you'd be scared of the fat army? But they'd be...

Just Jurassic Park water. Yeah, but then they're just like... He was like, all right, They're tired now. Get them. Okay. But he just falls on you. You just tell me, body fat guy's fat strength.

You know. Yeah. You're telling me you weren't stronger when you were like fucking really fat. I mean, you can, you can throw the weight around a little bit. Yeah. Just like kind of offensive lineman style. If like a 350 pound guy falls on you, you're dead. Yeah.

I mean, it's, none of this seems even important anyways because you're like, he's talking about like, oh, this is like fucking the Civil War where you're all just charging at each other. And that's what war is. Now it's just like some fucking nerd and I. Like, you know, just behind a screen, just like mannered drone. Yeah, but he's probably, instead of figuring out the drone, he's just like, you know, taking handfuls of M&Ms, and then it starts melting, and then there's M&M short-circuiting the drones. It's stuck. It won't stop firing.

I don't know what to do. Fucking fudgicles dripping into the truck. Short-circuiting the wires. Yeah, that's not what you want. No, it's not ideal. But obviously, it's become, like, a bit of a thing, and it's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Crazy. This is, like, controversial, too.

People are like, yeah, you know, women should just have to meet the same standards as men because it's the army. Right, right, right. I'll tell you what, if I've never been in the army, you know, I'm new to this country. However, I actually got asked to do a troops thing, but it wasn't going to make sense for me. Oh, okay. However, I, if they would like me to do service, and it is possible for me to take the job, I will do it for half price of deciding. deciding who's fat who's not. If I could have that job in the army where I go around platoon to platoon being like not too big. Like basically like a carnival barker kind of dude like I'm the

carnival barker guy. Carnival dude you just go guess guessing everybody's weight. I guess everyone's weight buddy if you could give me that job I will do it free of charge on this is my contribution to the American government is you bring me onto the bases you let me come around I want to do the ladies first. I just like oh what the fuck is that? It's kind of like a... We got one. We got one.

Fat police. They come and beg over the head, bring him into the fucking army truck, and then they lock him in a room. They come behind her, they're like, injection it in the neck, and then she's standing there. It was so zumpic.

Didn't take... What are you doing the neck? It looks cool. I think they shoot him with one of those rhinoceros tarts. Oh, what's this? It's Majaro. Monjarro

And that fucking right there is going to be A closed jarro Of pickles that you've been fucking damn Yeah So that was a job that I would love to do Yeah, that would be great If you're listening Hagseth

Hague Seth Free of charge by the way Yeah And I won't promote it This will be a personal Yeah yeah This is just for love of the game Love of the game

Walking around Carnival barking People who are too fat And putting them on You know I go You can come back in two weeks No Yeah

I walk in Someone walks by know what happens is I sit in a rocking chair right and I have sunglasses on they walk by and all I do is they have to this is an empty room big empty room they walk by one by one and all I say is if the person's too big I want to let them out of the army I go boom bought out and then trap door if I so what happens is they have a trap door that goes to a slide that exits them from the army right yeah and it is only triggered by me saying boom bo do do do i'm stuck in the trap door come one please help me we need a bigger trap door ladies and gentlemen are you happy with what this army has become they're so fat they're getting stuck in the trap doors now in a twist of iron even trapped in the fat door boom bo do do do do do do do and that's what i say and that's the only thing that triggers the trap door and then they are gone so funny because it's like if gavin dussom's like the president next in like 2028 that's her back he's coming in

He goes, all right, you guys all got to put on some weight here. We've got to get fat people back. Everyone's fat again. You wear a dress. You're wearing a dress. We're not doing any of this not gay bullshit anymore. I want fucking clowns in a dress. I want fat clowns in a dress.

Frankly, he says, every service member at every rank should be required to take a physical fitness test, meet the height and weight requirements. I didn't get there with, I didn't know there was height requirements. I mean, Johnny, you might be fucked. I mean, there's got to be. height requirement for the army you know I would say it's like five feet yeah I mean

you're gonna have a soldier who's like 4 1 what do you mean what if he's like a badass like Tom Cruise plays a soldier you're telling me that's unrealistic I mean like 410 410 and you know that's probably more for girls yeah it's just I mean there's at some point you're like this is like a child right well you're considered like yeah such a deviation from the norm

yeah you're telling me in a real battlefield situation there wouldn't be some benefit of someone who could run through their legs and then you know three stooges style hit him on the head again yes in the fucking civil war maybe where they were just like conscripting 10 year olds and they were just like sure whatever but like now I don't think wars are fought like that right yeah I think it's just like more of a lot of it yeah but then if you're playing if you're fighting someone in like Afghanistan being in a tank being in a tank yeah being a tank has a benefit then on top of that going into tunnels there's a benefit they bring you to the dungeon in Afghanistan put you in the things and then they leave and you just

slip out of them. Suckers. Yeah, exactly. Is there a maximum height? There you go. So it's like even like, yeah, there's even a max. I mean, that's fair if they go look. They're fair.

It's just like, if you're 610 walking around, you're a fucking dead man. You're a liability. You're a liability. Too much an easy target. Some sniper is just going to take you out in two seconds. So, you know, it's fair. They're playing both sides. He says, frankly, it's tiring to look out at combat formations or really any

formations, see fat troops. He says, likewise, it's completely unacceptable to see fat generals and admirals in the halls of the Pentagon leading commands around the country. Yeah, I'll tell you what, if I was another country and you're watching, and you go, this guy comes out to, like, speak for the army and he's fucking huffing and puffing. He looks like Rob Ford. It is weird because some of these guys

are, like, 75, though. And you go, like, I don't care if, like, a 75-year-old's, like, got a couple pounds on them. Well, no, you've got to be, you're representing the fucking, you're representing the team, you know? It's like, buddy. That sucks. All he's usually, so. I have to, like, go. It's like having the Victoria's Secret come out and with

their fat chip, with, like, ugly checks. It's just, like, No, there's a certain level of hotness. Decorum here. Yeah, or I like my army soldiers hot. Fuckable soldiers. Or fuckable soldiers. 80-year-old general. By the way, I watched the Rob Ford documentary, if people remember, crack smoking mayor.

And it reminded me how many great lines this guy has when he goes, you know, some people have been saying that I wanted to eat this journalist's pussy. I just want to say I got plenty to eat at home. Just enough to eat at home He goes, yeah, did I do crack? I said, I am not currently doing track. Have I done crack? He goes, ask me the question again. Yeah, he goes, maybe in my drunken stupors.

Yeah, he goes, what did you ask me? He goes, do you smoke crack? He goes, I do not smoke crack. You should have asked me, have I smoked crack? He answers, yes. There's also a video of him. He's in a, he's like doing Patois with the Jamaicans. He's like, bamba clad, run a ting.

And they're like blacked out. Yeah. Blackout drunk. Blackout drunk. But then it was like, he had his body. guy who was like kind of explained the bodyguard loves up yeah who explained the whole thing big black guy he's like he's like yeah he's like jamaican dude and he's like yeah we used to like speaking patch while it was like funny yeah he goes yeah and his his bodyguard loves him right

he's like ride or die he was like this big black guy and he goes guy's a fucking legend still like he used to just call me and he's like buddy think i'm in rough shape right now this guy was great he loved him but the reason why i'm even bringing up i thought it was corrupt because um they basically had the toronto star which people don't know that it's like i don't L.A. Times or some shit or Times fucking 30, right? Like, it's like a Portland Chronicle, that fucking reg. So it's like this real partisan hack, or gonna hack, you know, paper.

And it's gotten worse over the years, right? They were trying to pitch him as, they were like shitting on him, right? And he's dead for one. He was like a character, but he was a mayor, and he was kind of like a man of the people type, right? A populist. He was a populist before?

Populism was popular. But his populism, and this is my kind of problem, is they were like, you know, pitching him as like, they have like 2016 Trump brain and they're very like you know he was racist sexist and you know right wing extremist and blah blah and it was like

his main thing was like making sure the subway was extended he was like there's a lot of corruption in government fixing potholes fixing potholes he goes anyone who has a problem in their neighborhood or with their landlord here's my number you can call me and I'll fix it like mayor of like a city of like millions of people like fourth largest city of North America and he's just like here's my number he was not racist he wasn't even

talking about any of that stuff. He was trying to, like, his shit was, like, fixing potholes and making sure the subway runs on time. And he was like, there's too much traffic on the way to the Leafs game. We want to fix that. Like, the idea of, like, trying to slot him into people's brains in this, like, new age, like, oh, he's some right-wing streamist. It was just like, it was, honestly, gross.

Yeah. They should be ashamed of themselves. And it was embarrassing. And it was incorrect, most importantly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, Toronto Star stinks. The guy's fucking lying six feet under, and they're just fucking lying six feet under. He was racist

He was just like, shut up Yeah Because they're fucking tweebs The guy was fucking light in the loafers That was doing it too man He was like He was like, they go One word to describe him

People were you like Even the ones that didn't like him They go You know, what's wearing Was it David Dale? I don't know White his hair Oh no no

Not here Most people They go one word to describe And they're like You know loud personality You know Just like unique Even if they didn't want to say

Something nice They would say something like that You know Like never a dull moment And then that last person They finally cut to him And he was just like extremist or some shit like that.

Remember when he had the after the crack smoking scandal, like when it all came out? And then he did this thing in like the city hall where he like brought in this like Jamaican like guy to like play music and he was singing one love by Bob Marley dancing with everybody. Everybody's like hates this guy at this point. He's just like

something needs to be done about it. And he's just like grabbing politicians and just like dancing with them. He tried to fight a guy and then he ran over and knocked over the lady. Remember that? Oh yeah. Yeah. Knocks over some old lady. It is the best. Okay.

On the topic of fat activists, here we go. The legend. Are you ready? Yeah. Okay. Oh, for the audio listeners, I just want to tell you. This woman's 800 pounds. This earth.

And I feel like if you're quiet when so many injustices are happening, not just here, but Palestine, Sudan, Congo, et cetera. Then I literally blocked my brother yesterday. I'm not speaking to my mom, my stepmom, my dad. I'm kidding. what she had 600 pound girl i've i've currently blocked my mom i've blocked my stepdad my stepmom my sister i blocked my brother yesterday i also blocked the son i also blocked anyone who tried to reach into my bag of snacks just block why just because they won't speak out i blocked the number i blocked

a number of debt collectors who were trying to collect the money from my grocery bill i blocked my mom my dad my stepdad my step mom my brother they won't make like a Facebook post because their entire life isn't dedicated to yeah to activism so they're like 12 fucking friends on Facebook they're like you won't just like make a post you're fucking 70 year old mom like why aren't you standing up against this you're like what is that mean what does that mean I don't care isn't that something yeah but it's funnier to just be like 800 pounds I blocked my mom I blocked my dad I I blocked my brother.

I blocked my co-worker. I blocked that defensive lineman when I was playing in the CFL. I blocked them all. Fuck right off, man. Yeah. People get fried. Hey, man, they're just, that's, I mean, look, if that's your thing, you know, you're just like an activist, man.

It's just like, never runs out of shit to do. Everyone has to do my job. You go, that's your job. That always used to bother me with, like, other things where, even like the gym influencers, a part of that says, where they go, they're always like, you know, the morning routines and you do this and this you go yeah the difference is that's your job yeah people have to go do their job and then go do your job of fitness influencing whereas this person's like

yeah that's your job now is being an activist that's how you make a living and you go everyone else that has another job has to finish their job and then go do your job you go fuck off yeah and what are her main accomplishments do you think so far what do you think she's got done mainly blocking her family through all her activism which goes yeah i just i don't know i just talk to my family anymore yeah really that's a big win i guarantee she's changed people the other way yeah because no i can't imagine many people are watching this 500 pound fucking i mean at least she's getting some activity in the blocking the activism the blocking that's all they when they sit when her doctor was like you need to be active she goes i feel you duck right here brother yeah yeah i'm as active as they get he goes i'm not

no no no no i'm not hilarious i'm doing important activity right now okay i'm doing activism those aren't the same thing I like a good work thanks that's a good one right there yeah I have my recommendations are that you you know be active she goes preach brother preach brother I've been telling just blocked my brother from nothing I'm in every form because I'm more concerned about your arteries being blocked no I'm just saying like you should do some activity just I'm organizing an activity for the Palestine Relief Fund this weekend I did a BLM march I just them all i'm active out there i'm doing it can you at least do like a maybe a march for

palestine how does that sound a walk for palestine does that work yes we are doing a palestine thing in march also yes we are very every month actually there's never stops never stop no months off no months off yeah that's good stuff right there oh yeah you know what about you know maybe weights she's like there is a lot of weight on this issue it is something that we take very seriously and it is a heavy issue you're right about that yeah there's a real gravity to it and you know maybe your diet and you're like your information diet is probably the most important thing in the world there is no they are starving right now your information diet you want to make sure you cut out any right wing sources you want to make sure you cut out anything that isn't

approved by me your information diet is the most important thing in the world the doctor's just like all right um yes i'll see you in six months well then you got four years to live climate change is the problem and that is probably how long we have if we don't act up he goes all right next if i'm lucky i have four years to live exactly oh with these rising ocean levels these rising ocean levels i think four years might be generous to do the fucking truth all right then that will be a hundred dollars all right and we will call it even for the session that I just gave you explaining how to be a better

activist. I actually charged a $100 an hour as well for this interaction that we just had. It's like, funny you say that, because I don't believe in capitalizing. I don't believe in money. I'm an anti-capitalist, so I don't subscribe to this. Health care should be free, you know, and all that. I have

overheads here at the clinic. I'm an anti-capitalist as well. I am a woman, and I make my niece give me money. and I have my nieces working in a sweatshop. I'm an anti-capitalist.

I have a bunch of my nieces working in a sweatshop. Yeah, there you go. And the money comes up to me. New Jewish Gun Club with New York Chapters features bullets and bagels October 7th.

I'll be there. I don't have very much to say about this. The only reason I'm even bringing it up is because the Jewish shooting club is called locks and loaded. Locks and loaded. Well, that's A-plus on the name.

Do you think they shoot the holes out of the bagels? Yes. Yeah, there you go. The question is who's the targets? Right? Like what's like, you know, you can put like a face on the target or whatever. Like who do they got on there? That's a good one, Candice Owens.

Maybe Zoron or something. Yeah, they are. You know the Jews kind of love him for some reason. I wonder, that's a good question. Who do they got on the targets in there? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know a big, there's no like real central figure.

to this whole thing. Like, there's no singular person that they, like, wouldn't like. Tucker Carlson, they don't love right now? Maybe Tucker Carlson. I feel like the New York City Jews. I feel like there's a big split in, like, the right wing where

the Tucker, Carlson, Candice, Owens, kind of thing. Yeah. People are really fighting over that. Yeah. I mean, Megan Kelly's, people are mad at Megan Kelly. I can't even keep up with what Candice Owens is doing. She's got, like, I know, I'm not anything every day.

I haven't ever really been blind. You know, every now and then, they kind of come up and I like pay attention but it's like I've never been like I'm a listener of fucking No I've never been to listen to it either Just since Charlie Kirk had assassinated And it's just like I just see clips and just like

Yeah she's crazy famous Yeah yeah but I'm just like she's getting nutty You're not happy with it? No I'm very happy with it actually I'm loving it Okay yeah yeah some people are like this is dangerous I'm like dangerous I hate the dangerous talk This is the opposite of dangerous

This is fucking this is like old school Alex Jones at this point Right Like this is like I feel like I'm maybe watching wrestling almost The dangerous talk is my least favorite talk

Candace Owens is not dangerous Candace Owens is maybe a danger to her children right now Danny's on her man I'm gonna talk about our queen like that if Candace if you're listening

Danny's opinions do not reflect the opinions of the boys cast if you want to pick a fight with this fucking I'm not gonna say it I'm not gonna call him but you will

I'm not going to call him that Hummus eater Keep make sure Kenneth when you're picking your fight You want to head it over that You're going to see a nose And that's why you're gonna He's gonna fucking dripping nose

You can't miss him He fucking lies in the water It's like a shark fin You're gonna want to see this guy And this is where you want to direct it to I don't want no trouble ma'am I don't want no trouble Exactly

We gotta talk about the witches This feels like it was an article That was directly made for the boys cast What are the witches up there? I'm the witch you curse Charlie Kirk and I want to speak to Erica directly because she deserves to hear the truth. Do you see Erica Kirk's getting fucking lit up

on the internet right now? Yeah, just because she's not, what, grieving properly? Lots of people aren't happy with it. But, uh, well, essentially, I'll tell you, if you died and your wife was running your show really, really quickly, like, within a week, your wife, like, took over your podcast. The problem is, there's things like a movement,

so they're like, you know, they're very much like, there's, um... Maybe I don't know, yeah. there's like a higher like power kind of thing at play here where they go like this is so important that they're like this message like cannot be silence yeah so i think that's kind of the thought but like you know i mean everybody like grids i'd like to think that if i died my girl would not be uh that happy that quick yeah but you know there's a religious component too right where in their mind you're just like well it's actually sick the guy's in heaven yeah this guy's happy for him fucking heaven right now snowboarding through fucking the naris pow you ever seen in your life There's never not fresh powder. You legitimately ride down and the guy right behind you gets another set of fresh pow. Yeah. He's snowblading in heaven right now.

It's tubing. He's on that fucking tube right now, just spinning around. A couple cold beers in his hands. A couple cold beers. You can drink in heaven. Oh, hell yeah, you can drink. Even if you're Christian, you don't drink. Once you get to heaven, you can drink.

And you get more pussy. Oh, big time. I know sex before marriage, but as soon as you get to heaven, it's fucking a free for all. There's no marriage in heaven. That's why. No consent in heaven. none of those pesky age restrictions in heaven that we have on earth here that's for sure yeah i don't know something i mean i don't know people do you feel like people grieve because they're

like oh she like laughed that's what i said it's just we well i was kind of making that point that other time and i still do some people are there it's no right answer when you have that many people watching you so i am of that mind yeah yeah i agree and you're like on camera so you're like there's a different thing here like you know maybe in private she like and you just catch a moment yeah she's like literally like you know overall that's what i agree with too it's a little too much scrutiny on that probably but again it's just like so many people are watching it i'm not trying to add to the scrutiny i'm just saying the scrutiny's been happening because i've been watching a lot of it even the people a lot of people at first were just kind of like you know like feel so bad for her and then day three

they're kind of like fucking watch this bitch to it like you know what i'm sure i've seen a lot of people kind of like flip their stands being like all right enough of this i'm curious how much like Because, you know, this has been, what, three weeks now, a month? Something like that. Like, I'm curious what, like, turning points, like, numbers are, like, prying way up. I know Kimmel's are back to just, like, cratered. Yeah, I mean, that's, duh.

Yeah. No, like, everyone wanted to see that because it was, like, a big event. Yeah, it was a big event. But, yeah, I'm curious, like, if they have, like, yeah, we... I saw a lot of people posting that and a lot of articles being, like, Kimmel's numbers are down. You're just like, yeah, duh. Well, they were just like, yeah, they're back to what they were. What you suspect?

Yeah, exactly. Well, Kimmel clears his fucking seven million episode now forever. Yeah. Your mind? It's just, yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's not going to happen. But, yeah, I don't know.

I don't know what the turning point thing. Like, if it's like, I guess probably there must be more people watching it for sure. But it seems like it has died out. Like, it's just like we move on to new stuff. They go, yeah, there's 10 new shootings. Oh, they do have lots of stuff. I know there are so many shootings. We'll talk about that on the Patreon.

Yeah. I know. A lot of shootings. You know, I was kind of thinking just one quick, one quick thing about I was thinking about the shootings is, you know when people talk about like race and trans like which is the higher one I think a pretty uh a good um indication that trans is higher is when we're classifying shooters

I think we would classify trans over their race like if okay if they're not trans we would be like oh that was oh it's a white guy did it Mexican guy did it like people would think talk about the race but if someone was trans they would talk about that first yeah that supersede trans sees the supersede it's like it's like strength of ideology almost. Yeah, seems like it's higher than race. But I just thought it was the funny the witches are out here

kind of like doing a press campaign for themselves. They got kicked off of Etsy. Oh my God. Well, Etsy is like, you guys are out here. Yeah, we don't need this smoke. Devil's Maddo. But it's just this one witch, I imagine, because of the witchcraft probably cool. She's asked if she would like to meet Erica Kirk.

She says, we regret any distress experienced. What we do is done based on impartial perspective at a professional level. who respect the widow's feelings and welcome a private conversation to address her concerns. I don't really understand why she would want to talk to the witches. Yeah, she's just, I think she's, for one reason. She said she got, like, a Catholic priest or something to, like, do a reverse spell or something. She did?

Yeah, I think she got, like, a Catholic priest to, like, undo the spell. Well, it's, like, it's interesting because the witch is kind of being like, well, I did the witch spell and then it worked too good, and now I'm backtracking. Doesn't that seem like? Yeah, you think it's just like, fucking own it. You're a witch. Yeah. You're a witch and... Do you think she's sort of thinking

like, you know, my spell worked too good because someone else probably put a spell on me and that's why I'm getting kicked off Etsy and stuff like that and now I'm in trouble because... She probably, too, when Charlie Kirkland, she's like, chiching, uh, it's about to be a fucking payday in witch world. Really, but... And then Etsy just gives her the...

Maybe it is a payday for her, to be completely honest, but she's... She's still running her business. She just had to take it off Etsy. Well, that probably was her whole business. Where else because she's sell her witchcraft? Well, now I guess she's doing this press campaign. She's doing articles and stuff like that, so I don't know something.

She's on telegram. I mean, we could call it. We should ask her how much for us to charge to pay to a spell on her that, uh, she's dry vagina. Oh. Yeah, she's going to put a spell on herself. Yeah. We go, we want to put a spell on someone.

You go, who is it? We're going to show you the photo. It's just her. It's like that kid's in the hole sketch. The hit man? The hit man where he's like, kills himself. Asked if she believed the spell had a role in the death. She said, I would like to say a person's life and death always have weight, but we do not

celebrate the loss of life. We cannot claim responsibility for the death. We do affirm the magic we work in our daily lives is very, very real. So she's kind of like, you know, I don't want to say I did it, but you know, it is what it is. Like, magic. It wasn't nothing. Yeah, she's like, I didn't

not do it. I, you know, she's like low-key, somewhat taking credit for her where she's like, no, I didn't do it, but like obviously, yes, I am pretty powerful. Don't fuck with these crystals. Do not fuck with them. Priestess claimed that it was not her who actually cast the spell, but her

sister, which should honestly be a gutless move and also it should be a bit of like he should be able to sue them if you hire a witch. She's trying to pull a Gallagher. She's outsourcing her fucking witchcraft. Yeah, she's like you subcontracted your witchcraft? Yeah, she's like I hired some Indian witch for 40 cents

an hour fucking do all my spells for me. Sorry, it's like this is what happens. You subcontract stuff out and they're something like I've got it wrong. It's like it wasn't supposed to kill him. Goes by the name of High Priestess Lee Mashitou and she says Le Mashitou received a barrage of death threats recently

so yeah that's because you ponded onto her and no one would even know your sister did it until you fucking went and sold her out what the fuck did you tell her that yeah you can just fucking keep it to yourself she's subcontract out of all of her spells and then when they don't go as plan she sells her sister out because you know when it did go

as plan she was taking the fucking credit oh absolutely yeah at first she was like this is amazing and then she's like oh when her spells do go as plan she goes yeah I do it that's me and then when it don't go to a plan she goes my fucking sister unreliable scumbagged But I- Never work with family.

That's what I say. I have a bunch of others. Well, you know what? We're going to talk about some of the shooting stuff, which has been fucking wild on the Patreon along with a bunch of other hilarious stuff. But, and Portland and Tifa and all that sort of stuff. But join us on the Patreon. We keep the episode going.

Patreon.com slash the boys cast. We do an extra episode every week. And we'll see you guys over there. Peace. Peace.