The Boyscast with Ryan Long - JOHN CRIST ON RELIGION, REHAB, BEING CANCELLED AND FRAUDS

Episode Date: August 9, 2022

John Crist is a Comedian and Viral Star with more than one billion video views, over five million fans on social media and sells out theatres across the country. SUPPORT THE BOYSCAST: https://www.patreon.com/theboyscast http://ryanlongcomedy.com MERCH - ryanlongstore.com Ryan @ryanlongcomedy Danny @dannyjokes John @johnbcrist LEAVE US A FIVE STAR REVIEW! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The boys, the boys cast. The lads, the boys cast. The dudes, prepare yourselves for the boys cast. The bros, the boys cast. The homies, the boys cast. The dudes, the boys cast. The boys cast. I wonder who the biggest not what they are on the internet extreme person is like it like if

he's like Alex Jones he's like yeah I'm just like doing a thing or like Tucker Carlson or like everybody on the left or right if they came to us they're like yeah I just like do this for like attention and who's the most the most like like faking it you're saying I'm pretty much like I'm an exaggerated version of what i am in real life yeah that's in the comic thing yeah it's just like elevated but like you're like larry the cable guy like doesn't have that accent you're like you're ruined you're like what i feel like with larry the cable guy specifically he's probably become larry the cable guy he is he doesn't yeah yeah he doesn't know who he is anymore. Well, he doesn't have that accent.

But he's not not that. I know him. He's a friend of mine. He lives in Nebraska. Oh, you must know all these guys. Yeah. You play golf with Larry the Cable Guy? Yeah, dude.

That's sick. That'll be fun. We played at his... He lives in Omaha, Nebraska. Larry the Cable Guy? Dude, I had a show with him. They were doing like... You know whenever two headliner comics try to do co-headlining? It never works isn't that the blue collar comedy tour is exactly no that's over

dude but i'm saying wasn't that oh they're like four of them doing there's like you know nate bargatzee and like jeff foxworthy or like me and angela johnson were gonna do a tour one time. The two-man thing doesn't work. Never. Even, I think, Sal and Chris, they co-headlined it. First of all, the money is confusing. Who closes is confusing. Anyway,

they put me and Larry the Cable Guy because they were like, my audience would love him, his audience would love me. And also, even if you're doing More numbers than Larry The Cable Guy It's like he can't be like On the The opener No dude He did stadiums

For like five years And I'm like I did First Baptist Yeah Yeah But he He How many shows

Did you do with Larry? We did two And he Do you call him Larry Off the thing Or do you call him His real name? Well his real name's Dan

So do you call him Dan? I call him Cable Guy. I'm just kidding. Everybody he wore like a Mr. Cable Guy. He wore like a like he was

in Buffalo, New York he wore a coat a fox skin coat with the fox heads. Oh like stop man. Game of Thrones. Meaning like doing a like somebody

he's like I don't care about pita and then some fan was like you know what i'm gonna do and then he was just wearing and then we we were on his private jet and he had we had i think the guy with the private jet headlines he goes are we taking your private jet or my private jet oh mine i think i'm gonna go last we're in buffalo i was like i was gonna uber back to New York City. And he's like, just get on my jet. I go, you know what? You can headline. But yeah, he would say, well, you know how he started.

He was like a different guy. No, he was Dan Whitney. And then he would call up these, to promote, he would call up these radio stations in the city he was going. My stepdad loves Larry the Cable Guy. So do I, dude. Everybody's stepdad loves Larry the Cable Guy. There's no stepdad who doesn't like Larry the Cable Guy. So do I, dude. Everybody's stepdad loves Larry the Cable Guy.

There's no stepdad who doesn't like Larry the Cable Guy. There's like a stepdad podcast probably. They only react to Larry. Call him stepdaddy. He does do funny tweets because like,

you know, I think every once in a while if you look at his Twitter, it'll just be like every, you know, three weeks he'll just tweet like, these libs are out of control. Awesome, dude. Awesome. But then if you look at his twitter it'll just be like every you know three weeks he'll just tweet like these libs are out of control awesome dude awesome but then if you get if you get like that

that level of like who cares like you get that level of like and that level of zero consequences like the liberals aren't gonna go to larry the cable guy shows anymore he's like i'm good he's like i can sell on a stadium whenever I want. I think I'm fine. Like, if what's the British guy who does the talk show, the super smug? No. Like, the guy.

Pi? No. Oh, Piers Morgan? No, sorry. He does like a. On Late Night? Like, not Trevor Noah. He's from here, but he's British.

And he was the first guy to do the like. Oh, Stephen Colbert? No, he's not British. He's from here But he's British And he was the He was the first guy To do the like Oh Stephen Colbert No he's not British He's not British He's from here But he's British It's an American show

I believe What channel He was the I think he was the first Smug one That like a lot of people Are doing a version of that Oh then everybody

He can do whatever you want guy He's got glasses Real nerdy looking Oh you're not talking about not not Hassan Hassan I think I would have said Indian dude

well anyways if we could ever get to the bottom of this guy I'm now a fucking talk show host well anyway the moral of the story is if that guy pissed off Republicans it wouldn't matter oh yeah because they weren't coming to the that's why that guy pissed off Republicans it wouldn't matter that's my whole point oh yeah

because they weren't coming to the that's why that's Twitter all the time is like these people that are like angry

he's almost Seth Meyers but he's not quite Seth Meyers you don't have him he's kind of doing a Jon Stewart-y thing too oh John Oliver John Oliver dude

oh I go boom yeah John Oliver is he wait is he left Johnny, is he left? Johnny, yeah. Yeah, he left, yeah. He is.

So I'd say that's the left-wing version of Larry the Cable Guy. Yeah, so he's like, I'm not coming to the thing. No, that's like Larry the Wine Party. Yeah. Pierre the Wine Party. The tea man. But he has an English accent, so he's like, you've got to listen to what this guy says. Yeah, that's so funny.

The left-wing Larry the Cable guy is yeah Tommy the Tea Party Man not Tea Party no not the Tea Party no no just like the tea Tommy the Tea Party

the tea taster the tea taster well once you get don't you say all those people well on the left or right they kind of just

like started doing a thing and then people were like yeah more of that thing more of that and then you just kind of became Jim Jefferies polar, and then people were like, yeah, more of that thing. And then you just kind of became polarizing. And then you're like, I mean, I'm guilty of it too. If you're a girl in the day and a man at night, you might be non-binary.

That's Tommy the Tea Taster. You might be non-binary. That's Tommy the Tea Taster. He's talking about his conservative uncle or something like that, or he's making fun of the other side. That's why your bit was so great about both CNN and Fox News, because you were like, oh, these are the same people. It's the same trick, that's for sure.

It's the same trick, yeah. Because there's people that were deep into evangelical Christianity, and they've been either hurt by the church, and then they swung. I or like, and then they're, they swung. I was like, Oh, you're doing the same thing over here.

You are. You're the same. It's this, you put all your energy. You're who are you? Yeah. You're like, we went all the way over there and then you got hurt by something. You're like,

I'm going left or I'm going right. And like, or yeah, it does. Sometimes it'll be just like some, you know, whatever guru that you're following and you just find a new one. And then you go, huh, yeah.

No, but that's such a type of person that they were just everything they do. You go, oh, this is your entire personality changed to what those surroundings are. And you're puritanical about it. Those people are the most puritanical. It's funny because it is. What's puritanical even mean? Puritanical is like you're the most like, let's say if you were in Islam, you were the most puritanical. It's funny because it is. What's puritanical even mean? Puritanical's like you're the most, like let's say if you were in Islam,

you were the most. Yeah, the most Islam. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're the most, but it's like you're the most hall monitor for Islam. Oh, okay, yeah. You're the type of person that would rat out, like just so you know,

like this guy ate the fucking wrong thing. You know what I mean? You're the most of it. You're like, oh, versus like, yeah i mean you're the most of it you're like oh versus like yeah i'm kind of like i line kind of here but not really i mean sometimes with them but not always yeah and then you're like well then you have to have your own thoughts then that's the problem people hate that shit people hate that shit or you can be like socially liberal but like politically conservative or something you can't yeah do you know what's kind of interesting is like what i used to do with these videos uh like for um for like music places and stuff like

that oh yeah and i and the people you know the thing with satire that people always talk about like uh the you can you're actually a lot of times more people will connect with it the more niche it is because everything's the same yeah and i've i watched a bunch of your like old christian videos yeah and i'm so don't know any of that stuff yeah but i felt like i liked it better because it like i connected with it more because it was everything's everything right so it's like yeah very like you were watching remember the one you did i'm not sure you do but like obviously that's real i made a lot of videos. Chris Farley show vibes right now. Remember the time Bruce Willis, when you walked across?

Yeah, remember when you were in the Beatles? Walked across in the glass and you, you were like with your toes and it got bloody. Yep. That was awesome.

That was awesome. No, there was this video about like, it was about like Christian bands and then the record label. Oh yes. How they were, and it was like all of the stuff,

it was like so specific. The names. I didn yeah and it was like all of the stuff it was like so specific the name i didn't know the names yeah of any of the things but you like it was like connected more because it was everything else because everything like operates on the same principles at the end of the day you're like it that's not i have no idea what these terms are but i know but punk does the same thing yeah yeah yeah or you know or like whatever that video started universities do have their same little fucking rules and they're all kind does the same thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or, you know, or like whatever. That video started by. Universities do have their same little fucking rules and they're all kind of the same. I would go to like, dude, when I used to tour colleges, I just, because I did college, I would just go to like the student, whoever was booking me. I go, hey, where's like, if there was a girl that was going to easy to be hooked up with, like what sorority house?

And they'd be like, oh, the Delta Zeta house. And I go, at least you wasn't my Delta Zeta. what sorority house and they'd be like oh the Delta Zeta house and I go at least you wasn't my Delta Zeta oh yeah

we saw Chris that's funny though that's probably why you got in trouble everyone's like don't raise the pussy out he just shows up on campus asking everyone

where the fucking easy O's are it's for the joke it's for the joke I swear we saw Chris Rock in Toronto remember Chris Rock

he had the joke he did it everywhere but then he was like I went to uh oshawa today you're like you did every person i was like no you didn't do it yeah you're like no you i got lost and i was in oshawa you weren't no you flew private here except for like the 30 people who were like holy shit we're from oshawa yeah this is unbelievable but like we we wouldn't you say we always get we we're guilty of being too insider with comedy?

Because the guy goes, in every show I go to Zany's five nights a week if I'm off. I just go watch the show. Why don't you do a set? Well, usually I do. You're above that. No, I'm like a block from there. So I live like a block from there. Yeah.

So I go down there. He's like, hey, did anybody go down there it's like hey did anybody uh go downtown it's like yeah it's like oh three people like that's a hack thing but it's funny yeah yeah every time it's so he goes oh well only three y'all and everybody laughs and i laugh and that's a trick that i do no you you you know the magician's you feel like that's yeah it's still clever yeah it's still like funny I can't remember who the comic was

but I used to do like occasionally road gigs with him and he had this joke about making fun of basically he had to go and he'd go what's the university

in this town what's the community college yeah oh yeah yeah yeah or whatever and then he had and he replaced what's the good one

what's the trash one yeah what's the good university bad university what's the community college and he had a joke with all three in every city they killed that killed and he would just interchange let's just do a month oh the dumb people go to this college you know and then

everybody's like yeah there's like a little war he whips everybody up and everybody gets going every time oh yeah well because people like think you care you know you go you actually care to like i don't know he goes he knew i want them to know that I don't give a shit. I didn't do any research on your city. I barely know where we are. I do a joke. I do one tonight. I go, you know when you go around and you see Little Italy,

Chinatown, Little Tokyo, what if you're backpacking through China and you came across a little New York City? And then just do the trash everywhere. There's so much people. The football team doesn't win. Yeah, exactly.

I do it in every city. And we just get it. And you do like. I mean, the music equivalent is when you have a city in the name of a big song. And then you replace it to the name of the city. Oh, classic. With the city you're in that night. And everybody goes, oh, fuck.

He changed the city name to our city. You go down to Austin and Austin. You've got gotta have a touch of irony for that, though. You gotta be like. Not for music. Music. We used to do that

kind of stuff. You guys are like nothing serious. I'm saying like you go see some like fucking rock group from the 70s, your favorite,

and then they switch it up. And their brains are just like dead. Sweet home, Albuquerque. Yeah, totally. Everybody's like, oh, fuck. And he has like

on his monitor, he has like, where are we, like Albuquerque. So he's like, sweet home, Albuquerque yeah totally and he has like on his monitor he has like where are we like albuquerque so he's a sweet home albuquerque i always said the funniest one was i guess the opposite is when i saw a kid rock when he was in uh he came to toronto my dad's like a huge kid rock yeah yeah and then we went to see him and he did all this stuff about how they're trying to take our guns and like you know they they uh you know like you know this country's not what it used to be and we're like he didn't even modify it to be in a different country like he he made zero changes for the fact that when he's like you know and they want to respect the first amendment and everyone's like we don't have those we never amended it yeah yeah i love to see him the same. Yeah. I love it.

Jimmy plays a one-off gig in like Shanghai. He goes, this country is not what it used to be. Everything's like, no, no, no, no,

no, no. Yeah. That would be the opposite of like a, like a, a character. Like all these things are like, you're bordering on becoming a character.

And that's what's fun. It's like, you're like, is, are these people like, is Kid Rock? Cause we've talked about this before. Like what's the guy that does like the Applebee's and he's like,

has a hair going up like this and the goatee is like a real, he's a cook. He's a famous cook, a chef. He's like, Guy Fieri. Guy Fieri. Yeah.

Like, I think he goes on me like he knows he's a thing. He knows it's kind of a thing. Yeah. So he like, he gets his hair dyed every knows he's a thing. He knows it's kind of a joke. Oh, for sure. Yeah, so he like- I mean, he gets his hair dyed every three days. Yeah, go, like, so if you become a thing, if you're Kid Rock, just be it. No, it is really true. You should just, like, Vanilla Ice is like, I'm not playing Ice Ice Baby.

Like, dude, play it. What do you think people are here for? Just do the thing that you- Yo, shut up. Yeah, do it, dude. Do it. I heard that the guy Who was it

Somebody was telling me About a sorority They were in a sorority And the guy had Not A guy that had one hit You know those guys That have one hit rap song

Can like go to Fraternity parties For like the next 10 years For like 15 grand Yeah Cause the frat guys They're like Oh

He said he played He has one hit He played it like Three times He just kept playing it I mean dude Those Island Boys frat guys. They're like, oh, he said he played his, he has one hit. He played it like three times. He just got it. I mean, dude, those Island boys,

they're probably done ish, but they're done. They were probably there. The real height six months ago, last year. Yeah. You could, they were just like,

play the song over and over. Just play the song. I'm surprised that they weren't able to sort of, uh, like, like kind of do a catch me outside girl thing where like, get popular and they're like wild like rants or whatever. I mean, dude.

Because they were popular for being like these insane guys. Like the song was whatever. But before that, they popped off for being like insane to watch. But they were insane because they were so stupid. Yeah, but I'm like, why can't they keep being so stupid? Well, you have to be smart to be stupid.

Yeah, exactly. You have to be like. No, they were, everybody was. They're actually that. They're actually too stupid. Dude, I was watching them before they popped off on tiktok and like people would be like yo what's wrong with your hair and be like dog i don't know my hair's sick like i get four haircuts a week and like no like no awareness yeah nothing just like what's well i don't know what's wrong with my hair dog and people are like you guys don't have any money he goes yeah i don't have any money like

what's this and they're like oh they're. They don't understand when they do a concert that every person in that audience, this was a joke. Yeah. Yes, but everybody, you would say, everybody started off sincere. Yeah. Guy Fieri started off as a sincere cook.

Insane clown posse. Started off as the clown posse. Yeah, no. No, not really, but they were like, what is that? They're just doing kids birthday parties and then somebody's like dude you should play well it started off as one clown then it became

a clown posse then he's like dude you should put like some blood coming out of your thing and it was like oh that's cool and then you just came kind of look insane that's sick and then it became yeah i kind of became a thing of myself which is what well like you started off like just doing jokes in the club like everybody and then this church i remember i specifically remember because i was clean because my dad was a preacher and i didn't think that was a preacher like sam can still is yeah yeah interesting yeah and he's the mayor of our city you're not the mayor yeah so he doesn't preach anymore does he still preach yeah he kind of does both. Yeah, yeah. That's interesting. That's amazing.

It's a transferable skill for a preacher politician. Same type of energy, dude. For sure. But he, so I was just doing. What's the city? Lilburn, Georgia. What's the population? 5,000.

Whoa. Small. It's like an hour north of Atlanta. So he's like the man when you get inside those boundaries, eh? Yeah, just like shaking hands Yeah But he goes I just was doing comedy

And like To make money As a stand up comic It's going to take you Five, six years Maybe more To make Without videos

Or just a stand up To make a living Or forever Some A lot of people Forty years Yeah maybe Yeah yeah yeah

So I was doing like And I was like What's the deal with like Like a Just. Or for a lot of people, 40 years. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was doing like, and I was like, what's the deal with like a, just because you name a kid a Bible name doesn't mean he's going to be a good kid because last week a kid named Jesus stole my bike. Like, just like funny, like dumb, silly, like kind of Christian. And this church that I knew the guy that was the youth pastor, he goes, I'll pay you to come do our youth camp for our kids. I'll pay you 700. So you started doing comedy for youth kids?

I just started like going. You were the cool youth pastor guy. Yeah, dude, I was like Righteous Gemstones. I was him. How accurate is Righteous Gemstones for those big churches? Very, very, very, very. Is there like very corrupt corrupt like those mega churches I mean

yeah it's like Joel Osteen but the righteous gemstones people don't understand was in 2018 is when the first season came out and they found that money

in the Joel Osteen's church and I like Joel Osteen by the way he's not a friend of mine but he's he's every time I make a joke

about him he's he's he like he thinks it's funny okay yeah he's cool so he's chill yeah he's chill he's is that the guy he thinks it's funny. Okay. Yeah, he's cool. So he's chill.

Yeah, he's chill. Is that the guy who was the Bieber's guy? No, that's, uh. No, that guy got canceled. Yeah, that guy got canceled. That guy got canceled. No, Joel Osteen is the guy who has like the major megachurches and then there was a thing where it was flooding and he wouldn't let people inside.

Yeah, he wouldn't. But then they found like in the bathroom, you can look up, they found like just bricks of cash, like in the bathrooms bathrooms in like the wall of the bathroom like but that's in the show but the show came out before that like it was there was like that probably happened a few times that's like some uh it's you know spanish warlord kind of yeah it's like fucking uh well you gotta understand if the like my the church i went to and i think there's a lot of good things happening in churches, but the mortgage was $30 million. Of that church?

The mortgage for the... I mean, I'd be able to pay that if I didn't have to pay taxes either. They were $30 million in debt. So as kind as they... Like, behind closed doors, there has to be some... Hey. We got to get this done. Yes, there has to be. Yeah. Right? I don't know. There has to be some, hey. We got to get this done. Yes, there has to be.

Yeah. Right? I don't know. There has to be some kind of. Why do they need a property that, I guess if you're one of those megachurches, you need that kind of. So you're saying the megachurches were going under low key because of all the spending. Well, they get a lot and make a lot of money in, but there has to be some kind of like, there's stakes when you have a more, a 30. Like, if we can't keep this open, you know many people are gonna go to hell yeah you know the catholic

church is the is the richest landowner in the world i was just at the vatican last week in the world insane well dude go outside here there's a 50 story uh skyscraper every and then what's next to it sure yeah you know how much money that real estate is? I always think that when I was walking around Toronto, I'd always be like, you know, because I always think about

how much this house is worth. And I'm that guy, like I'm a human Zillow guy. That corner of the block where that church right across the street from here. Mm-hmm. That.

Right there, yeah, exactly. It's worth $50 million. Oh, easy. And besides two hours. And mostly open. Besides two hours of the week, there's worth $50 million. Oh, easy. And it's easy. And besides two hours. And half the time, mostly open. Besides two hours of the week, there's no one in there. Not to mention all, like, you couldn't put a condo on top? No, not at all.

Oh, dude. There's, like, VC people who are, like, trying to, like, unlock all the money that the church has. What if we just, like, a church inside of a condo? You're like, we'll just put it, we'll keep the church, but we're just going to put some open seating and air and just the parking lots alone you have a big parking lot downtown new york it's like but you don't understand is the is the all the they're all paid for yeah but it's almost done so there's no incentive and the money and tax the money goes back to the corporation that's back in Omaha or something. They don't, it doesn't matter. Yeah.

I mean, as much as it is worth $50 million, it's not because they're never going to sell it. Yeah, it's also not. Like, it's really not because like they're not doing anything with it. But why would they? Exactly. So it's like, yes, it's worth $50 million if the Catholic Church goes bankrupt and they have to liquidate. It's like Amazon, you're losing half your stock. Well well you didn't because it didn't it's still the same company yeah you didn't lose half your money it's still worth the same but then it's irrelevant what

it's worth if it's never selling yeah it's never selling the only way selling is if they go bankrupt your stock market doesn't matter how much well they can't go bankrupt because they don't exactly they can't go bankrupt what do you get what's like an average church in like a major city like the top guy well how much money do they make a year I mean six figures

definitely oh for sure oh I know the top rabbis oh wrong oh yeah maybe not maybe not the best comparison

but they say some of them like in like New York City top rabbis I mean off his side hustle no but just to be like I mean what is like a priest that like a yeah he makes 6k a year he's also I mean, off his side hustle alone. No, but just to be like a... He makes 6K a year.

He's also Ubers. Well, dude, they don't do anything. The top rabbi owns 90 vending machines. I mean, none of them do money like Joel Osteen or like Creflo A. Dollar. No, Dollar. Creflo A. Dollar. I mean, that guy's name is Dollar.

Imagine there's a fucking rabbi whose last name is Dollar. mean that guy's name is Dollar imagine there's a fucking rabbi whose last name is Dollar in that guy's defense Creflo Dollar you can probably look it up Creflo Dollar recently came out and said hey I was wrong

about he said any message I've ever had about tithing or giving or money I just want to say I was incorrect on that what was his message

that he was wrong about that give your money God's going to make you rich and he had like private jets and stuff like that and he to in his credit he came out recently and said hey i mean he didn't say the wrong thing for a long time but he got rich off of it yeah also that yeah he was like hey yeah wasn't he saying like i need money to pay for another jet i don't know about him That's like AOC 10 years from now Being like Listen

That whole socialism thing Remember the dress I wore With Ash Just messing around What You're rich now though Yeah you're rich now I guess

Maybe he did give back Some of the money I'm sure those guys Well so that guy Like Joel Osteen Or Creflo Dollar Whoever the big ones

Who are the ones that you know Those are the two I know Those are the only two you know I don't even know Creflo Dollar You don't big ones, who are the ones that you know? Those are the two I know. I don't even know Creflo Dollar. I know. They used to be on TV in Canada. He's the same thing as Joel Osteen. He's a preacher. Maybe I've seen him, but they wouldn't

register to me like that. Joel Osteen you would know. Benny Hinn. I feel like where I'm from, it was interesting. That is one one he slaps people with his coat. I feel like where I'm from, like I, you know, that's, it was interesting. Like that is one of the more interesting things is America,

just like a bunch of normal people that are religious. I know zero. I didn't have one friend that was religious, one relative that was religious. I didn't know one. Really? No.

I knew like one guy at my school. Like I was, one of the girls that was in like music with me, like it was in like the jazz band or whatever. She was a piano. She went to church or something? Yeah, and now she's big into fighting for abortion. I mean, I went to a Jewish school, and nobody I knew was religious. We all just were sent there by our parents, and nobody was actually religious there.

No, it was practicing religious. No, it was two kids. Well, that's why I moved from LA, because all my bookings were in the South, like Texas and South. Yeah, I guess. And they would do like, because I came up here to Boston or Massachusetts one time and I did like my, because down there, even if you're not a Christian, you're culturally Christian.

Like, you know about. That's like the Jewish people. Yeah, you're not practicing, but you're like, I grew up around it. You know what the, like, I don't know any of the words. Like small town Canada with like hockey. Yeah, I don't know. You don't need to play, but you get the culture. Like, what's his name's Bits. I never get him, but I get him. Who? The guy that play, but you get the culture. Like what's his name's bits.

I never get them, but I get them. Who? The guy that makes, your buddy that does the hockey bits. Rick? Rick Rowley? No, the Gary V impersonator.

Oh, Nima. Yeah, I always like, he's like when a shorty comes in from the locker room. He does like, yeah, it's like the Canadian frat boy stuff. I don't get it, but I get it. Yeah, exactly.

I go, but you're saying my stuff was the same. You're like, I know that guy and I guess that's how he manifests in Toronto. And that's awesome. Yeah. But you watch my video. If you're an insider, you want to be, if you're on the outside, you want to, instead of feel

excluded, want to wish you were in. Okay. And that's what he does, or that's what my video at the beginning with the- Yeah, I think that's one of the biggest things. You go, I don't know know this but this sounds cool instead of you want to be in it and you kind of understand that like you know it's not just there they understand the people who do it also can make fun of it and understand yeah yeah yeah there is like that's one of the biggest things that uh you know like you just said you kind of uh watch like you

know let's say someone making fun of the hockey boys, but also a little bit, you're like pretty cool. Like I remember thinking of even like Adam Sandler movies back in the day of watching like airheads or something. And they were the premise of that movie is like, these guys are morons, right? Roasting. Yeah. But I remember as a kid watching it being like, be sick to be that guy. Yeah. Be cool. Yeah. You're like, Oh, I'm making fun of this guy, but also end this guy. Yeah, whereas like a lot of comedy now is just like, can you believe how awful these idiots are? And they're missing the part where it's like, you know, you kind of also like them too. Like it's your friend as well.

Yeah, like also kind of like, well, that's what like I did. I went to Kentucky three weeks ago and did a huge bit about Noah's Ark. Noah's Ark. Okay, Noah's Ark is, you bit about Noah's Ark. Noah's Ark. Okay, Noah's Ark is, you know Noah's Ark, the story in the Bible? It's like this man. I know Noah's Arcade.

Okay, Noah's Arcade. What is that? Wayne's World. Wayne's World. I wasn't allowed to watch it growing up, dude. That's what me and John were going to do.

We didn't have a TV. Connascending Atheist versus the Connascending, but his plane's all got messed up. We still might do it in the future, but Connascending Atheist versus Connascending Religious Guide. We didn't have a TV. The condescending atheist versus the condescending, but his plane's all got messed up. We still might do it in the future, but condescending atheist versus condescending religious guy. Well, let me just check.

There's four million species of animals, and there was two of each. Interesting. Oh, you think the Earth is how old? Hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I actually looked at... The Dead Sea Scrolls.

I watched Bill Maher videos because I was like, who's the most condescending atheist? And I'm watching... Is it Bill Maher? Oh, dude, it's great. He goes, he's like, who's the most condescending atheist? And I'm watching. It's Bill Maher. Oh, dude, it's great. He goes, he's like, oh, so I guess a demon is going to just kill you or like torture you for eternity.

Interesting. Everyone applauds. Dude, it's great. Bill Maher is the king of like. Bill Maher. I do like Bill Maher. I didn't realize you were an idiot. What, me?

Yeah. But if you can do it like Like Bill Burr Does a good job of it He goes Nah I'm an idiot Don't listen to anything Like after he goes Yeah we're all idiots

He's not smart Yeah he's not like Looking down Yeah it's not looking down He says the most Obscene things It's like yeah I'm making fun of this

But I like this But like I like them Yeah Or I get them At the very least He makes fun of like Women for doing whatever but the women love it

and that's it but like people have said have been critical of me it'd be like oh John's like misogynistic or he's always

putting down women we weren't critical of that oh yeah well that's what you got got you in the door pal I like that guy anyway but I go

do you know like 80% of my ticket buyers are women like yeah yeah yeah because people don't understand the concept that you're like you could be made fun of and enjoy it they're like they take it as like a defense yeah yeah i'm not like i'm i'm like the people at noah's ark i made a joke of it but i go but i'm also here and i i like it and i also do this thing yeah i also am this i know yeah that's what whenever you guys talked about my special on your on your was it with ari okay yeah some guy was some guy was tweeting he's like john they better give john chris back as i was like like he took on the

personality of like there was like john chris is whatever and he's like yeah i was like yo dude wait i don't get it He was You were talking about My special But it got cancelled Yeah and you didn't Get it back Yeah and then He was like

For being a hound Yeah and then Ari was like That doesn't make any sense And then the guy Got on Cause I was saying Everybody's like

You're misogynistic Or you're Make fun of women And then a guy Took up my Cause Yeah and he was like Go and I was like

Guy Yeah yeah Well I do I think that even with like you know when we're making fun of uh you're like fucking city liberal types or whatever it's like also one of the reasons i feel like i have a good take on it is because that's like all the people around me my whole life that's what you know as opposed to you know sometimes you'll see like someone that like lives in the south or whatever and doesn't know any of these

people making fun of it you're just like okay well they're not that's not really like what it is or not yeah yeah well that's the same thing with religion when you go like i think the bill maher thing why it's so stupid sometimes is like you go it almost comes with this like how could anyone be that dumb and you go okay well it's 80 of the world yeah so it's 80 of the world you're just beside yourself and you're doing it into your like a crowd in like a theater in west hollywood and you're like yeah of course everybody yeah what you think so it drives me nuts when people don't understand why people are like the way it's like how could anyone be like that and you go well if actually like if you're if you think you're like a good cultural commentator anything like that you should the next step

should be like well why you should understand why why is everyone you know acting this way or like i went yeah i go to like to morocco and what's the alternative to that they go if christianity is like everyone is that doesn't believe in jesus is going to hell i went to morocco for like a mission and it was missions you did the whole thing yeah i did it all yeah yeah i'm still in it by the way i mean I still I am still a part of it Yeah I know that But like not missions I hope so Or you'd be the biggest Like fraud going

It's like this You'd be a Like I fucking hope so You said you did all that stuff I go well I still do it You still do missions Oh yeah yeah

I thought People don't know That when he came in here He actually had a keep on This is where I out myself He goes alright Here we go Take this fucking shit off he's actually

jewish he puts his prosthetic nose to make it look smaller no dude it's like aggressive i see that as like something that like kids do like and i don't mean that condescending like to me i thought that's like uh you go learn about like when you're young you go on these like missions and then when you don't do that stuff as much as an adult. I didn't know this thing. You keep having to do stuff. Well, you don't have to. Yeah, you do whatever you want. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think what happens is people get older, and you get a family. It just becomes harder to fucking pack up your family. Yeah, I guess I'm single. Build a church somewhere, right? Or you go down to, like, we went to the Dominican Republic and built a shower house for the whole community. Not so much like... Bathhouse. Well, that's a shower house for the whole community. Not so much like... Bathhouse.

Well, it's a shower house. A monkey pogs. A monkey pogs. Less like maybe going around to every house and tell them about Jesus. More humanitarian. Yeah, you go, that's way back. But they don't tell you about that, too. But they don't have to be Christian to use the thing, do they?

No. Somebody's checking at the front door. Listen. Here we have three skill-testing questions. Who are your favorite apostles? You don't know any? All right, well, then you get to be stinky. Listen, not today, buddy.

Not today. Who are your favorite apostles? Do you know about? No, you don't? Okay, well. But if you go to Morocco, it's like a Muslim country, 100% Muslim. You go, all right, so I'm a 21-year-old white kid, and I'm telling all – They can't love that down there.

No. They're like infiltrators. They're literally like you're literally trying to ruin Islam. Telling some guy's wife, like, this whole thing you're doing. Let's get that garbage bag off of you. All that rapping, hey, you don't need it. Oh, I've lived like this for hundreds of you. All that rapping, hey, you don't need it. Oh, I've lived like this for hundreds of years.

Hey, oh, tell us more, white guy from America. You know, in our thing, your husband only gets one wife. In our thing. That's how he started. You know, in our thing, as if someone's going to be like,

what? And then rip it off and then go to the club. Yeah. And go into McDonald's or something like that. That's cool. You went to Marrakesh? Yeah, I went to Wee's. then go to the club? Yeah. Go into McDonald's or something like that? That's cool. You went to Marrakesh?

Yeah, I went to... I want to go there really badly. Fez is where the name of the city we were serving in. So that's the biggest... So, yeah, because I guess that does make more sense where you're like, we actually help instead of just kind of like go down and try to change their minds.

Yeah, well, that was like the... That was the old school way? That was like the 80s and 90s. And that wasn't that successful. That didn't work out.'t that the whole africa thing that they always made fun of on south park to go and like to go to africa and be like yeah you want some food you just have to read this bible yeah well that's what the joke is like you understand like if some somebody from like that it looks like this that has clearly money came in a car anything they said to you that you'd be like yeah okay i want to be more like whatever whatever you said yeah it's working out when you yeah it's working out you don't even

make 10 cents a day and you just don't know and he goes if you do what i do then yeah you're showing up and you're like that you're that's the lamborghini guy showing up and they're like how do i get all this you're like well it starts with the lord and they're like, how do I get all this? You're like, well, it starts with the Lord. And they're like, all right, are you sure? How, how really is that the whole thing? You're like, no,

who is not going to, let me, let me whisper the secret. Jesus Christ. You go, I feel like that's not it. I feel like, well,

there's gotta be more to it. That's kind of the whole thing, dude. Give away some money and you go, well, they, everybody, everybody my age

that's a Christian is trying to figure out what are we taking of it and what are we leaving of it? Because we're all having kids now and they're like, I've got to put some moral structure into the neck. I don't want them to cuss.

I don't want them to steal. I don't want them to... You might not be as rigid as the previous. Because the previous were like, no, my parents never smoked a cigarette, never drank, never swore. Why cigarettes? Why would that be a problem? Never no tattoos.

They just... Those are the... Those are the things. Cigarettes are in the thing, though? Where does it say that? I mean, alcohol is not in it either. It's in the tradition, not the Bible. I got you.

It's in the tradition. Just like, oh, we don't... We do that. Their version of it is just like this kind of and it's everybody has to have a box to live because that's when somebody goes well i'm gay but i'm also a christian like they're like that would flip them out how can that that doesn't go with the box like you can't because we our box is this and then you're saying you're in the box, but you're out of it. And there's no box. That's a good joke, dude. Is that what this podcast is?

Just... It's this and that. It's kind of both of things. That's a pretty good joke, though. That's a pretty good joke. There's no box. No box. Which is what my comedy basically is is saying hey like these

some of this stuff is kind of silly yeah I mean the gay thing I feel is like the biggest thing because I'm sure 30 years ago it was just like

completely unacceptable and everybody was like yeah it's unacceptable and everybody's kind of come around and be like yeah we're not we can't like it's 20%

of the population right now yeah we can't 20% well you know the whole thing it's like like teenagers like 20 percent of them in style it's very in style yeah do you know any people like in your world where they're you know pretty fundamental christians and the daughter or whatever is like i'm non-binary

and it's like super big like issues yeah that's a yeah and they're rebelling against our family a little bit yeah yeah well the the joke amongst evangelical Christians was, it was like all going around Instagram, this would be like an insider, is mega church pastors on when Roe v. Wade was overturned. Everybody, very silent. The big money guys, like the Justin Bieber, like very silent because if they came out and said,

we are pro-life, then all their, like, cool, trendy followers would. So they just were mysteriously, like. Oh, yeah, yeah. They just, like, we're not saying a word. Because they have the people who just want the toe in. Yeah, they want the cool, like. But you can't come out and say you're pro-choice.

No. You're done. So you're done. But you didn't really double down on the pro-life. You're just kind of like, and that's what gets tricky about the money. Well, take the W, I guess, right? Take the win.

Yeah. People want you to fucking take the win and be gloating and dancing on the, you know. Yeah. And they're just like, ah, we'll just let it be. It was very tricky about going to the Black you know. Yeah. And they were just like, ah, we'll just let it be. Well, because everybody, it was very tricky about going to like the Black Lives Matter like marches.

Because if you go, that's like a, that's like it would be, like it's very, it's a very progressive movement. Yeah. So you, if you went, that was like a big deal. And everybody had their mask on so you couldn't really tell who was there that's like when they looted

everything conveniently they all were very concerned about COVID yeah of course or you don't want to be on the security camera but one of the two

so like because it's tied because of intersectionality and it's tied up with all the other stuff they're just like because the movement of Christianity

is very like they want like progress with the lines. And they don't want to lose everybody. They don't want to lose all their popularity. Catholicism is like, they're straight up like, yeah, you can be gay now. And I think like six years ago, they're like, you know what?

You can be gay and a Catholic. And everybody's like, what? Wait, what? What are you talking about? But the Pope was like, look, we're hemorrhaging people. Yeah, we're losing everybody. We're going to lose everybody. It's just like Instagram.

It's like, we're losing, you're losing your. But that's. Yeah, we're doing real. Dang it, dude. Catholic Church is like, we're doing reels now. I feel like comedically, John, like, does think like me. Because I was just, literally, that was my immediate, like, thing of, like, as soon as you see a company doing all this wacky stuff, like, that means things weren't going that

good. Weren't going good. Yeah. But, like, is the solution changing? Or it's like a lot of times you're like, the tides are going to keep changing and you try to be steady or whatever. And you go back and forth, yeah.

But yeah, kind of chasing trends doesn't work that good either. I don't know. Well, in Mormonism back in the 70s, they were like, all right, we'll acknowledge black people now. You're like, wait, what? That was in their Mormon.

Wait, what? Which one was that? The Mormon church. Yeah, they were white? Yeah, and they had like- The 70s? I can't believe they did it before the Boston Red Sox. They were like, oh, like, yeah, we can't have this in our scripture anymore.

Or like the multiple wives thing. How do they get rid of the- That kind of, they're like, all right, we can't really do this anymore. Don't they still do that? There's TV shows about it. In the very like- But you can't really do this anymore well don't they still do that there's in the very like in the very like but you're average mostly no they don't do that that's what happens when girls you know the girls were speaking up a little louder probably i mean like this part's done they started to get tiktoks well my husband's out with his fourth wife right now and everyone's like what and it's the three wives just stewing on their one TikTok. She's popping off. She's like, look at all these likes.

I'm out of here. Well, yeah, if you get... It's definitely hard to keep the five-wife thing going when the four wives have a joint TikTok. It's too long. Can we get a thou shalt not TikTok somewhere in here? It's in there. I saw it in the old manuscripts.

That's so true, though. thou shalt not tick tock somewhere in here it's in there i saw it in the old manuscripts that's so true though yeah you if you lose yeah if you lose the you're like all right if we say if we say like no whatever is allowed in our if we come down strong on this stage so many people we're gonna leave yeah like it like like the uh the Methodist church had to split over. I had a joke, and I was like picking. There's two lines. If you go to Chick-fil-A in the south, there's two drive-thru lines. And you try to pick the one that's the shortest.

And then ours is the line is long. And I'm like, what did you do? Did you not pray before? And I'm trying to figure out why our line is going short. I was like, what denomination are you? She goes, Methodist. I go,

what side are you on the, that's like the, the gay split. Everybody in Christianity would know that joke. Okay. I go, you're Methodist. And that was the,

I go, what side are you on? She goes, I go, Oh no, that's why we're being slow. Cause you were on the other and Chick-fil-A, but everybody loves Chick-fil-A.

Cause they said, we don't care. Yeah. And they said, we're not opening. They closed on Sunday. So everyone can, you know how much, how many billions of dollars? Billions of dollars. But that's why Christians, you would argue that they love it even more.

And that is a business. But once they go, that's our place. Yeah. I mean, the main camera store In fucking New York Is closed on Saturdays It's absolutely insane And you go Do you know how much

But like the guy from And it goes early on Fridays And the winters It drives me nuts It's religious Yeah they're Jewish Yeah they're Orthodox Jews And so like

Because they have to be home by sundown So for example Yeah they can't do anything In the winter When the sun sets at five Like it closes at like three Three Whereas like now in the summer it probably closes at seven but like it's bonkers this jewish guy it's like just have someone else do it do it or you can go like the jewish there's a jewish guy when i was in rehab there's jewish guys who's in there i don't

think this is a confident is breaking any confidentiality but he was in there for molestation. And he was like, but on whatever the holiday was, I had to open doors for him. Yeah, yeah. I go, this is absurd. This is absurd. And he's like, hey, listen,

I can't pick up a pen. I go, but it's clearly not working out. He can pick up a pen 15. No, but if's clearly not working you can pick up a pen 15 okay no but if you really if you go if you can yeah if you can think of loopholes for that you can't find a loophole for the store to be open when you have a monopoly on cameras and yeah biggest city in the fucking we need a memory card you know what i really think it is i think they're just like look just go they're fine go somewhere else you can't there isn't really another one. That's what I'm saying. They know that.

Trust me. The moment that there's a fucking B&H competitor that's open on Saturday that's really eating their lunch, magically they found a loophole. What happened? We found a solution. Look at that. Okay. But don't you like the guy that goes like the owner of the – I mean they changed it finally now after like the Washington like the guy that goes like uh like the owner of the i mean they changed it

finally now after like the washington redskins the football team yeah they were like dan snyder was like they're like it it's uh it's like racist redskins racist against indians race and he goes i don't care like i kind of respect a person that just like will take it all the way into the ground yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. I kind of, because everybody else is changing. Oh, like everybody gets on Twitter or Instagram and apologizes for everything. I kind of respect the person like- Has some principles, whether you agree with them or not.

It's crazy that it took George Floyd, like literally George Floyd is the reason why they changed their name. Really? I mean, that's the kind of the first domino. That it was like, hey- That everything culturally sped up so fast. Yeah.

Right there that they go, all of a sudden they go like, we're the commanders now. Cleveland's like, we're the guardians now. It's all from that one thing. The Atlanta Braves is my team. No one can get through that moment. But the day is coming.

Braves, the Blackhawks. Yeah. But then it's the Trump thing, which is the Chick-fil-A thing. If you go, nah, screw it, not apologizing. Then everybody's like, like yeah they love that yeah see the problem with baseball is like you know baseball at the end of the day like all the owners they're just part owner of this league so they're all like you know owners have a lot of impact on us so you kind of one up one rogue you're like hey my kids can't go to

college and you're screwing up all of our revenue because if you won't change your name like this and and also you can still be whatever you are. Just be the commanders. Exactly. But then you go, well, I mean, there's got to, like, I was talking with my girlfriend or something about, I don't swear. Ever. No, I mean, I do sometimes. On stage or anything.

Jeff Foxworthy doesn't swear, not because he's just for his brand, not because of his faith. I feel like Nate's not purposely making a choice not to swear. He just doesn't. He doesn't. But I go, well, if they were like, hey, we want to be the lead. Like, we just had this funny conversation, the lead in, like, the next Spider-Man. But you have to say the F word. You should do it.

Damn, fuck. Of course. But you have to say the F word. You should do it. Faggot fuck. What? You would be like, it's a joke really, but this is the conversation. Like, even God would be like, yeah, it's fine. He goes, I'll let this one slide.

Yeah, I don't know. But we say, well, I wouldn't rather. Don't be crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, standing up for things that you think god is like asking of you like there's a guy that's a famous christian actor and they have like christian movies the christian movie industry is huge yeah and he mel gibson not mel gibson mel gibson's jewish but he he will uh is he Is he? No. He's the opposite. He's the opposite.

He's the opposite. Remember that one thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's the opposite of a Jew. Anyway, so he... I thought you scrambled my brain for a second. He does... This guy does not believe he's married.

And he preaches at churches and does all that kind of stuff. And he's a famous, like, famous Christian. Kirk Cameron is his name. I don't know. Yeah, of course. We know Kirk Cameron. Okay. Do you or no?

Yeah. Oh, family ties. Yeah, from... From family ties? yeah from family ties yeah yeah so he's big in that so he'll do like he does a bunch of movies and he has like an actor which is a woman and whenever they have a kissing scene he'll get his wife to put on a wig and they shoot it from behind so he's never kissed someone that's not his wife whoa i know you'd almost want i know every time they kiss your wife they bring in a stupid yo you gotta kiss your wife every single you know what i don't even like movies what if we put a wig on my wife's wig on this i have a list actually but don't i kind of like i like that's not for me but like like, I respect it. Yeah. I mean, he's dedicated to his thing.

Like, I'm a, like somebody like followed our tour bus, like a girl followed our tour bus for like 10 dates, like to just went with, and I go, I wish I cared about anything that much. Yeah. To like be that excited or that committed to anything. Like you'd stop at a rest stop, she'd stop. She would just follow the bus and then every show she would be there waiting by the bus and we'd be like, what's up?

I'd go, and she was just thrilled about life. It might be a little bit of mental illness. Who knows what that actually looks like. Or if you like Justin Bieber or you like the Blackhawks or like I don't care about anything that much. Do you? No. I don't either.

I think maybe kind of like what I'm doing. Like this? I care about anything that much. Do you? No. I don't either. I think maybe kind of like what I'm doing. Like this? I care about this a lot. Yeah. You know what I mean? If I'm making videos or whatever it is, I think I care that much about what I'm trying to accomplish at that time. Not external stuff like that, yeah. I mean, I'll care about sports if the Maple Leafs are in the playoffs.

But who if outside of like... I'm sure you cared about the Braves when they were in the World Series. It was unbelievable. Yeah, I'm sure that was not a singular focus. But then if you go like, who in here

that could would be like, hey, I'm texting and I'm walking by that we would stop the pod to go say hi to them. When I was younger, there was a few.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if like LeBron James or like... It is a younger thing though. To be like obsessed with stuff. If you're a man in your 30s and like, oh my God, oh my's a it is a younger thing though like to be like obsessed like if you're a man in your 30s and like

oh my god oh my god yeah you can't be there you start crying we saw we were at this comedy club in Brooklyn

and the guy from Succession walked by a couple weeks ago the main guy from Succession Jeremy and we were like

I'm like hey that's the guy from Succession I just said that I go hey that's the guy from Succession literally walking

down Bedford Street with his script like learning his and you go like he wants everyone to know I know dude he's literally I just said I go hey, that's a guy from Succession. Yeah, yeah. Literally walking down Bedford Street with his script. Yeah. Like learning his, and you go like. He wants everyone to know. I know. Dude, he's literally script in hand. Like the main guy, Jeremy Strong.

Like the main guy from Succession. At 11. Dude, he's walking. No, at 6 p.m. Oh, tough. 6 p.m. walking down the street, script in hand. Script. Everybody still, is it not enough? Learning his lines or whatever.

And I go, that's the guy from Succession. And then this guy, Mike, who runs the club. I go, yo, that was the guy from Succession. And then this guy, Mike, who runs the club. I go, yo, that's the guy from Succession. He goes, really? I go, yeah. And he chases him down the street to go get a photo. And then he comes back like 10 minutes later.

He goes, yeah, he wouldn't do it. He's learning his script. It's like LeBron just having the basketball at all times just in case. Dribbling it. He's like, everyone recognizes me. It's so annoying. Just holding a microphone. It's like, are you wearing your jersey right now is this yeah that's a bit much i'm in the scripted hands a little corny actors are the corniest people they are nothing worse dude my body uh is a comic was just telling me he had to do like because i don't do any of that audition

stuff like right now but yeah a body of mine was like he had to do a audition on zoom and they put you in a room with all the people waiting on zoom and and they go, it was all these dorky actors, and he's like a pretty cool guy. And they were like, okay, so we're going to tell, what does everyone think's the worst food? They're all in it together? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're in the room together, and they go, we're going to do a thing.

Do people consider a hamburger a sandwich or a burger? And then some people were like, that's a really good question. And he was just like- Oh, it was like commercial? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he said he was into just being like i can never i can't do this any more times like this i can't do it a collection of the well when you're a comic you have to betray yourself so badly to participate in that or anyone cool yeah if you're anybody cool or like especially like a comic you're like i'm just oh you're good you go what like you're gross yeah

because that's what sometimes you go A comic does make The jump over And you go Oh dude I thought you were One of us I thought You have to be like

The anti Guy It's very tough To be that job Yeah to get Like Kumail Is like Jumping over to be

A movie star You're not doing All that nonsense Though as much You might be around Oh not But yeah If you're like

Getting the bag Every comic would respect it Yeah and also You probably don't have movie star, you're not doing all that nonsense, though, as much. You might be around. Oh, not, but yeah, if you're, like, getting the bag, every comic would respect it. Yeah, and also, you probably don't have to, like, if you're, like, kind of a movie star, and they're like, hey, sit down, we're going to do just to, like, everyone get to know each other, like, you could just, I don't think you have to do that stuff at a point. Yeah, you probably don't have to do that. You have to play that game of, like, being a drama nerd, even if you weren't like that. And you, like, you make bits about making fun of it. Exactly. Oh, that would be super cool. But this is for, like, a Wendy's commercial. I don't like that. And you make bits about making fun of it. Exactly.

This is for like a Wendy's commercial. I don't know what garbage is for, but... Yeah, get the bag. What do you think that there is something that... You know how like every kind of philosophy, you know, a lot of it is actually the same underneath. What do you think that's like the most things from like growing up Christian, all that stuff,

that you would, even if you weren't Christian, you would take it and you go this makes people's lives better uh yes well 100% serving other people yeah cause that's like even Tony Robbins says that it's not well Jordan Peterson says

if you're gonna Jordan Peterson is who he is too he's gone grumpy twitter everybody yeah you guys do make it funny but like he said if there was a a a framework for living to to be uh rewarded successful successful and in enriched life it would be the life of a christian meaning like put others in front of yourself, serve the poor,

do unto others as you would have them do to you. Basic rules that are outside of like believing in Jesus. So if you were, for every show you have, do you earmark like a tie thing, like a percentage of seats? This is my closer actually. For just the homeless? Yeah, yeah.

No, 100% no. Just like you have like 50 homeless people that you just like pick them up on the street in New York City. Nobody homeless is like, well, I want to go to that John Chris show at the city winery. Yeah. I don't think anyone says that. Well, if you look at a lot of, yeah, a lot of like Mormons and Christians are super successful too, right?

Yeah. But like why? You know, so yeah. And like, I guess, yeah, there's a lot of people. But that's not part of the, the, the sell. And like gratitude, I guess people say. Yeah. Yeah.

But why? Like, so I kind of, I think people say. Yeah, yeah. But why? Like, so I kind of, I think I kind of get it, but you go, like, why is that like a universal principle that like, I understand kind of why,

but like, why is helping people help yourself? Why does that do that? Well, then you could, yeah, you could argue on the other side where you're only helping people

for you to feel better. Yeah. Does that matter? Well, everybody's human. But if you're like but if you do like if you're like man like they like they say like it doesn't matter to the person you helped well that's the argument well you go does it matter are you oh they didn't we're not helping you give someone a ten thousand dollars and they're like oh you just did that to make yourself

feel better it's like a family didn't give a shit that that's the reason yeah yeah well that's you have to reconcile i guess is you because you go yeah well i mean they're so benefiting it's so better like you say is there any you can't like not do it because it makes you feel good yeah there's no such thing as like true altruism no no 100 because we went down when we went we did that in dominican republic went down and built that bathhouse it's funny but they were that what's that what's the first day we showed up and and I have the bit about, we're flying 20 youth group kids from America down there. Why don't we just, that 50 grand is going to take to fly us.

We could build 100 bathhouses. Does that make any sense? But the first day we showed up, there was a stack of cement blocks on this property, and the people that were going to tell us what to do or how to build it weren't there. And we were feeling so, we just literally moved the stack of blocks closer. And we were sweating. And it felt good. Is it like we need them to see this? And it felt good to be like, we weren't helping.

Well, I mean, otherwise you'd be like, we just came here for a vacation. It's just the same with Virtue Signaling on Twitter. You go, this is a great mission. I support it. You didn't do anything. Yeah. you significantly on twitter you go this is a great mission i support it you didn't do anything yeah but you felt it feels good to to be behind a cause that's greater than yourself and i think that's everybody outside of like if you're like i'm a part of the atlanta braves like a cause kind of greater than me and there's a you see another guy in new york with the braves i'm gonna go to the braves you'll go high five some random dude in the Braves.

And they say that, like, Justin Bieber, as I've seen him be like, it's to be, like, worshipped, for a human to be worshipped is very uncomfortable. We are meant to give ourselves to something great. When somebody worships, like, not worships me, but, like,

I mean, I do have a plan. It's, like, 40 bucks a month. I'm just kidding. But plan it's like 40 bucks a month i'm just kidding but if somebody's like hey you're not so yeah if somebody's like hey your your comedy like saved my life or like or like helped me out of depression it's very uncomfortable for me to because i go hey i'm i'm just trying to make it through my own life i don't don't worship me yeah that stuff does feel uncomfortable. It feels very uncomfortable. I hate getting compliments. Get out of here.

No, I wasn't saying that. No, you go, oh, your video inspired me to, you go, hey, I'm just an idiot guy. The only compliment I really like is someone goes like, yeah, I just work some shit job, and I just like listening to your shit all day. It's the best compliment. That's the best compliment. You go, honestly, it helps me pass the time. Okay, well, that goes back to our original point.

Why does that feel so good? Because you helped another human. I mean, dude, sometimes I'll be at a comedy show or a music

and you go, yeah, this is awesome. It's awesome. It's awesome. You feel great. I remember seeing Louis C.K. in Toronto

right before we moved and I left and I go, man, that was the funniest thing I've ever seen and I feel like you can feel the endorphins i go like that's great that's like you can do that for people that he's having a bump like life is heavy dude it's like tough like people paying rent got bad health got bad it's heavy and if somebody can joe biden's president

joe biden's president he's falling off bikes bro it. It's not good. And if you can, you can say, yes, we want to make money. And we do. Or I think we're doing pretty well. I don't know about how you guys are doing well. Yeah, you're doing well. I'd be doing better if I didn't take Danny's stock advice. But you do. You're like, well, I'm not.

Government's doing well with my money. That's for sure. New York State Jackets, dude. Killing it for the rent they got on this place alone yeah but then you go well all right what if you had a what like well there's somebody said that i helped them out of depression it's like well that sounds like you would say that at my funeral or something like when it's over you would be like ryan it made a lot of money ryan day made a lot of money. Look how many YouTube subscribers they had. You would tell stories of, man, one time when I was low on rent,

Ryan helped me out, or I was hungry one time. Not hungry, but you would tell a story about what the human did for the other. And then outside of, you would that the christian message would be like to give yourself under the service of others but we're also it's tricky because we're also making money a lot yeah so but i mean you also have to survive what you're like but i mean i'm sure there's people who take that to the craziest end and they go like you know i'm gonna have nothing and like i mean in um trying to think where i was in vietnam or thailand there's like monks yeah and the monks up, they have nothing.

They've given their whole lives to it. They've given their whole lives to it. And every day, they come out to like this square. Or I think this was in Laos, maybe. They come out to this square and they have baskets. Yeah. And literally people from the community and people come out and they put food in their baskets.

And you're like, if you don't, they don't eat. Like, that's how they get food. It's just straight up and they're just like their whole lives are just like dedicated to just being a monk and buddhism and if you don't give them some shit then they don't eat oh what's crazy about my way of living and his somebody's wrong right they have to be by nature of it yeah and he's like oh i did all the monk stuff that was well unless shoot unless and then you go he realizes he was wrong and he just pours some gasoline on himself well no what if there was like it's like thanks john how do you go where do you but you can have

a god that but like most of the things say the same thing and even like moral codes that are so imagine there was something yeah i mean there could just be nothing but imagine there was something where it was like, yeah, you're all kind of, it's a little bit wrong, but you're all saying the same thing, and that was the thing. Yeah, like when you see in the airport... Except for, yeah, they'd be like, except for you.

Oh, all of us are right. No one of yours. Except for you, Jew boy. Oh, God, Jews. No, no, no. No, what do you mean? No, what do you mean everybody? Like the girl. I mean, if there's a heaven, I hope there, no, no. No, what do you mean? No, what do you mean everybody? Like the girl, I saw the girl. I mean, if there's a heaven, I hope there's not Jews there. That's going to be kind of a false advertising, you know? You get up there, you're like, oh, we're all up here?

Shoot. This is not what I expected. But the girl, there's a girl in the airport that i saw two hours ago that was wrapped all the way in black except for here yeah yeah so where's she going vacation i don't know where you're not aruba none of your goddamn business just like everything else about her where's she going cuba dude i was in fucking i was just in italy and i saw a couple on a day like a muslim couple on a date in this like very like this is in rome on a date and they were out in this like super busy area near the Spanish steps and she was in a full burqa.

And I wanted to stop because I really was like, how does she eat? I want to show you a friend of mine. I think they have to put the fork like underneath. I guess. They must. But like it goes all the way down so they have to go. Start from the very, just a straw. You go, can you just blend this blend this this is a girl i don't want to show it to this camera this is a girl that's a close friend of mine look at everything is what do you what is she wearing that all has in common every single one of the same thing in common oh

let's go brandon merch if everybody's wondering if you can't tell uh uh i really don't know no pants meaning uh can't wear pants she wears a skirt What's that for? It's religious What religion? It's Pentecostal Christianity I like that one That one's making some sense But she would never own

A pair of slacks or shorts Or anything The religion says Girls can't wear pants That's the same with Jews With Jewish women The woman shall not Attempt to wear pants

In the relationship There you go Wait what? The Orthodox Jewish women here, they all wear long dresses. And she's also never cut her hair. Never cut her hair.

And doesn't believe in makeup. All hair? Dude. I don't know that part. I would guess probably a good thing. But then you go, but then you go,

like the girl in the airport that, what's funny to me is that she, the girl that wears nothing or wears everything and all it can only see out of here and the guy by also also is like wearing like jeans and you're like what how did he get out of the system maybe when we were in miami or another time and we were at the beach and there was a woman in a burka at the beach and her

boyfriend was in a speedo and i was like this is one of the most unfair things i've ever seen in my life you drag her to the beach to wear a burka it's like you know 100 degrees miami what south miami and he's in a speedo he's not even like meeting her halfway with the board shorts speedo or like a like swim shirt yeah like no swim shirt speedo she's in a she in like, I guess there's like a swim burka. So it's like, it'll be like a Lululemon fabric. But still, black. Jet black. In the hot Miami sun. What's crazy is that everybody in the 90s didn't know what he had the internet.

So he didn't know what was going around everywhere. Now you're like, could you imagine if that girl is like a smoke show underneath? Some of them are. And she sees they have to based on the odds they have some of them maybe if they weren't they'd be like i'm cool with the burger yeah but then if someone's like like they see how much how these tiktoks are like going off they're go like yeah i think the hotter they are the narrower the eye slant is that the thing yeah that's way oh that's that national geographic thing you're right though because it might be

like that's one of the reasons why the husband's so militant about it. If the girl's like disgusting, the husband would be like, yeah, yeah, no one's hitting on you. Yeah, he's like, yeah, you wear whatever you want. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's just... So have you... You have to keep like...

Because what happens with those... It's like borderline occult. What happens is everyone that says other is the enemy yeah right so somebody comes hey you should take that you shouldn't wear that he would say you're the enemy because you're it's us against them yeah like the devil wants you to like ruin your religion yeah and everybody is the it's that but when you're deep in it you got anyone that says the opposite okay this is weird. We had to, my church that I grew up in,

before church on Sunday, we had to meet with a pastor. It's kind of graphic, not really, but we had to tell him the last time we looked at porn and jerked off. That's a strange thing for me to want to know. Really? Yeah, yeah. That's not good for publicity, the guys asking that people that. Slower.

And it's like the whole thing where you don't want to lie because you'll get an even more Yeah, you don't want to lie. And it's a good, like, if they put a lot of shame on you for that behavior, then they can also be like, you got to come here more. You got to, like, be more invested. It's like a whole. And no, anyone that goes, hey, that's weird. I would be...

Anybody just ever come in with just like a printed off search history, be like, thump! Well, you know, we had a... We did. We had a... We had a seat. We had this thing where there's like a lot of shame surrounding sex. This is not like someone in the 1940s. This is me 10 years ago.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We had this phone app called Covenant Eyes and it would track everything it would send your history to your buddy

so it's like you just someone's gonna know what you're up to you're like sponsors for each other essentially and you would give the other guy

the other guy would take your phone put in the password and then lock it and then give it back to you and you had one of your buddies but they would always try to get around it.

You'd be like, you know, massages or something. It's something that's kind of... Wow. He goes, John, how's that thing in your neck? No, he knew. He goes,

you're going to get a massage at two in the morning? I was researching. That's crazy. Yeah, yeah. It's wild. But there was like... I mean, it's difficult

It just seems like Alcoholism Where you have a sponsor You know It's a hard thing Cause you don't But you have a lot of You don't want to do it anymore

Yeah And then But it did Help Yeah If you knew Your Google history Was gonna be looked at

By each other Every morning You go I'm not looking that up Well you might just get A burner phone Yeah no Which is the problem with the religion in a way because you want to get to a place where if you want to you don't want to do that because you

don't you value yourself or your marriage or you don't want to do it you have access but you can refrain versus you put all these limits and guards on meaning if you ever got free you would just but what's yeah you go nuts and that's what happens that's not good no it's not good because i was like told not to not to never do this never like no one told me to never do cocaine and i never and i never did it because i did it wasn't but they were like do not ever kiss a girl before you marry a little biological like you know like a process like your hormones yeah and you go what yeah no hormones tell you to do coke like oh yeah nobody but if they go do not ever do you'll be like what's going on over there yeah yeah a little bit

yeah there's got to be tons of those that just rebel out and the truth is everybody does i think the problem with a lot of stuff that's like puritanical like that it's like the people that like a lot of times leave yeah are the most critical thinkers so you're left with the people that are you know just kind of blindly follow yeah yeah you know what i mean because like i think that a lot of people that are you know probably uh interesting or whatever like have the capacity to create something great, like whether that be a company or whatever, are also the type of person that would have to be like, why does that, what's with that one?

And you're just like questioning everything. And you go, you're unfaithful or you're, And if you don't get the right answer. If you don't get the right answer. It's definition of faith. And you can't say, you can't really say, if a lot of these, you can't really, you can't really say I'm into like this, this, this, and this, but not this.

By the nature of the institution, you can't really. Well, isn't that why there's a million different Christianities? Yeah, and they go to the other ones. That always confused the shit out of me. Yeah, they go to the other ones. They're different denominations. Denominations. Because they'll be like, we'll lose that one and be like, well, you can call yourself something else if you want, but it ain't this.

Like, our pastor's going to wear holes in his jeans. Like, well, you go on crazy. Yeah, that's why there's a church on every block. Yeah, and they're all just so many forks of shame. Somebody told me about men, males invented all the religions, but they wanted to keep the stuff that they liked. So they were like Rastafarian is we're going to give to the poor. What about weed?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all just dudes adding in what they like. Yeah, they're just like, yeah, let's keep that.'re the stuff that they like to do they somehow like well like what about multiple wives let's keep that one but all the other style where they just kind of made a little a little like a box yeah for what you do yeah a lot of i would say my my mom always just creates her own religion with a bunch of the different ones yeah yeah yeah it doesn't have its own name but it is yeah yeah but then if they go hey your neighbor does it and you're like let's do this you're like i think we're a thing now yeah i think we're a religion i think we're a religion now so

if you look at like why that thing you know why does like that kind of value system make people uh successful or whatever yeah like having that stuff but like even go back so i think i get the idea of like if you were okay i'm going to dedicate a certain amount of time to helping people which i have naturally in my thing where it's like i have some like code that i live by of like and you have that but you probably bet you the same thing you don't have a reason why where you go you know i help a certain amount of people with this Like I always dedicate this amount of time to sort of like help people. Like for, let's just say the smallest thing like editing,

right? Yeah. Like I've spent a lot of time doing like, you know, some of those things where you've spent days figuring out something. Yeah. I'll always spend half an hour on the phone with them. Someone walking through problems almost always.

Right. So I spend a lot of time with people on that kind of stuff for no reason. Right. You just have a, some kind of internal i mean yes but why is that like i how is that helping me but you do it because it does some sort of does it i don't know i don't know if it necessarily helps i'll like i agree on that i'll do stuff like that because i i don't know if it's stupid but like i'll just hope that if i needed that from somebody they would do it like a do unto others.

Yeah. So you're clocking the karma. No, but I'm not, because I'm not trying to say I want it from that. Maybe karma. I'm not saying I want it from that person. The karma clock. I'm just saying, if someone else spent four days learning something, and I called them up being like, hey, how do I do this thing?

I would also want them to just be like, in five minutes, take care of it. So at the end of the day, it's do unto others. Yeah. You're doing that. But why? If you're walking down the the day, it's due on the other. Yeah. If you, if you're walking down the street, because that's the life I want. And yeah,

world that I'd like to live in. If a guy in front of you pulled out his wallet and a hundred bucks dropped out and no one was around, if he wasn't, he didn't see it and you got it, you would say to him, Hey, if he was still there, if he's like in the distance, like, you know, it's going to say to him, hey. If he was still there, if he's in the distance,

it's going to be a whole hassle. I might not spend my day tracking it down a guy and stuff for a hundred bucks. If you track him down and it's Bill Gates. He's like, uh, it's not worth my time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I found a wallet, I would bring it to the thing.

Alright, why? Why don't we just throw it away? That's what I'm asking. I don't know why. I don't know if I know the answer either. Maybe I just have these fucking things in dreams. Because if you lost your wallet, you would want someone to do that for you. I don't. Because you know the inconvenience of losing your wallet.

This guy loses his wallet every week. However, but this is why your logic doesn't make sense. Because in my mind, those two aren't connected. Yes, you're right. I would want someone to turn my wallet. But I actually don't believe in karma. I don't think the idea. I don't. Yes, you're right. I would want someone to turn my wallet, but I actually don't believe in like karma. I don't think the idea. I don't believe in karma.

So I don't believe me returning this wallet is making it more likely. I don't do it. It's strictly from like what I said, like it's just the world I'd like to live in. But you have people do that. So I'm going to do that. And you would like to live in a world where everyone's giving me a million. No, but maybe the person who lost their wallet wasn't like that. And then they get their wallet returned to them and they go, you know what?

If I ever find a wallet, I'll do that. Well, I think that's maybe your logic. I don't think that's what I'm thinking. No, no. Maybe. Well, because everyone also has like a standard because you go, all right, if I can look him up and find him on Instagram and he lives on this block, I'll walk down there. But if he has a new address, can't find him online you're not gonna you go he's

kind of a dick you call you mess with him you're like i got your wallet he's like yeah yeah i live uh you know at 89th street you want to just come drop it off and you go you can come pick it up he goes yeah i'd probably rather you drop it off and we're done here there's like 400 in there you go you know what all right yeah they're gonna be like annoying and ungrateful about it everybody has a lot but there has to be like you're saying well this is like a the age-old question is like there has to be a like a right and a wrong i don't know if you like i don't know if i like think that that there's no such thing as right and wrong in any scenario hmm well we talk about this if everybody everybody believes i've said this before everybody leaves in every situation they are right.

Yeah. I've said that, you know, the whole thing, everybody goes, you don't want to be on the wrong side of history. You're like, nobody thinks they're

on the wrong side of history. If you, if you shoot somebody in the moment, now in a second later when they're bleeding out and you go, oh shoot,

I've done something irreversible. In the moment, you just, you think that they, you are right, that they deserve that because you need their money or you're, they cheated, stole your girl or whatever. You wouldn't act wrong ever.

Unless you're just this total sociopath. But you go, oh, I got on, I trashed on your video. You're like, oh, well, you have to first justify, oh, he does it professionally uh i don't agree with this uh he's a jerk uh he didn't respond you have to tell yourself a story before you can act yeah wrongly that you are right at all times everyone needs that everyone is you otherwise you can't do it live yeah you can't do it you if you're gonna go steal someone's you can't do it if you're going to go steal someone's

bike you go well I have to make it to this show you would justify it yeah for sure it's always justified otherwise you wouldn't do wrong everybody's doing right at all times

so if that's the case then what is the objective one I would say that it's always just like choices like again every time I'm like spending an hour helping someone or whatever, it's like taking time out of what I would be maybe doing to make money. And maybe at some point,

I would use that money to help more people. Like it's always this like choices. So I don't know, but I guess I just have like a code or something. That you were like, if you're not religious at all, you're born with some kind of Or was it just culturally

Like even though we're not Like I'm not Christian Like you sort of That sort of value To fit into like the If you're Everybody's going 70 miles an hour You're like

I can't go 130 I can go 90 Yeah I need to kind of fit into The world Yeah I want to be successful I don't want to go to jail how do you think it's helped you being like okay i'm gonna like help people and all that stuff is it more like it just sort of actualizes yourself where you kind of uh you feel more like you're purposeful

or something i mean well when i went to i was like going to like kill myself when I got canceled back in 2019. Yeah, after the cancel. Smashing Will Christian. Yeah. But I was like, dude, this is like. King of Nashville. Was that in Nashville or was that in LA? What?

It was in LA. When that happened. Yeah, mostly. Oh, no, I lived in Nashville. You were one of the original things, too. I lived in Nashville. What? In LA.

When that happened. Yeah, mostly. Oh, no, I lived in Nashville. You were one of the original things, too. I lived in Nashville. What? Like, you know, a big Netflix comic, like shit getting all torn away from you. Yeah, yeah.

News articles, the whole ball of wax, right? Yeah, yeah. And you were not in a good place. Very bad. Yeah, I was drinking. I've been sober since that day. Oh, really? Yeah, like three years.

So in some ways, do you think it helped? It saved my life. Unfortunately, I would never tell anybody that. I mean, I don't support. Yeah. Cancel culture,

save John Chris. I'll never say that. Cause I don't, I don't believe in, in my life. It's coming for everybody, dude. It's a good thing.

Nah. Yeah. That you go, all right, what do we do? What do we, what do we do in here? Cause then then then like they were like well you don't have to like you don't have to like i don't have to work anymore like i've made enough where i'm i don't have to work anymore and they go you

don't need to come back you can just go you can just go buy a piece of property out in Murfreesboro and just like play golf and just – and I go – and so many people, dude, when I was there, so many people wrote me letters. They were like, I know that you want to end your life because I've been there. They go, I got a DUI when I was – I ruined my marriage. I cheated on my wife. I got fired from my job. I got a divorce, all these things where they're like life. Voted for Hillary.

Yeah, I was like, oh, it must be tough. And then I go, well, I have to like, I thought, I go, all these people literally kept me alive. I go, I just- These are strangers. Strangers. Yeah. Just writing, they go, your name is John C.

They don't want to identify you. They go, John C., you have a letter. And I was just getting These are strangers. Strangers. Yeah. Just writing, they go, your name is John C. Because they don't want to identify you. They go, John C., you have a letter. And I was just getting stacks of mail. In rehab? Yeah, stacks of mail. Are you supposed to read it? Well, they read it for you first. Make sure there's no nude photos in there or anything.

It's like jail. That would be, yeah. It also would be bad, I guess, if you're in rehab and they're like, we got some letters for you. And it's like, fuck you. They're like, did you really need to send this? Show me this. I'm trying to work through this.

All hate mail. They go, we got a screener here? Can I pay for this screener? Screener's off duty. We just scanned it for drugs. And we didn't read it. Oh, shoot. You're like, I'm not addicted to drugs.

I'm like, I'm good. But then I go, oh, I have to like, now, like as soon as I, there was like Sam Hunt, which is like, he's a country singer. Yeah, we met him in. Yeah, you met him? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, we met him at the show. He's like, he got it. Like he got a DUI.

We didn't realize how big he was. Yeah, it's huge. He got a DUI. And I go, immediately, I go, I got to reach out to him. I have to. Because I know what it's like to be there. And he's getting crushed, right, on social media. Oh, he's supposed to have a – he's getting crushed on social media.

And I go, I have to help him. Do you think it helped? I just say it would be encouraging to – yeah, yeah, because it saved my life. I think it helped, yeah. Yes, dude. Have you become like the de facto guy for some people? Everybody always calls me that guy. Yeah, I get a lot of that too where I'm just like – they're like you know what it's like you're like help you've been

to rehab help my guy every day dude and you'll be happy to help you become a sponsor essentially yeah yeah you go to and you go to you go to meet it you go to aa meeting or something like that do you go to those i used to go to more i don't go to because it's just not an issue yeah not really i mean i don't like i'm not like I'm gonna that kind of goes away I shouldn't say it for me at least it did but you go

oh it's like somebody else like shouldering the burden of someone else's struggle it feels great and you go

whatever we got the money we got the being popular being able to hook up with tens. You got all that. That's like Bill Gates.

He's like, you could do anything. And he's like, I got to help other people. And he saved all of our lives with the vaccine. Let's go. What would he do without it? What they did when they say he like, he said say? He said there was a formula shortage, but then he also was in charge of the formula. This guy.

He's got a lot of stuff. Did any person become a bigger villain in the last two years? No, than Bill Gates. He's like, dude, I was trying to help. People were pretty like, yeah, the Windows guy, and now you're like, oh, you mean the worst guy on earth? The Windows guy. He went from straight up like the egg.

Dude, you know when he lost his way? You know when Bill Gates, I no no authority to speak on this what he lost his way is when uh the macbook guy died you think they were like two steve jobs he lost a lot of his yeah he lost his foil he was competing against him for the thing and then he and then steve jobs died and then he goes well that was his whole as long as i knew him it was bill gates for steve jobs yeah i remember there was like the the commercials of the mac versus pc commercials there was like the two of them and he goes i don't know what it yeah what if but if i had

if i could do anything possibly in the world i would do what i'm doing tonight yeah you want to tell jokes yeah because it is i know what it's like to be, to go to a, like, I know what laughter, when I was in rehab, the guy goes, I was, like, real bummed out, real depressed. My buddy puts his arm around me one time one day. He goes, hey, man, it looks like you're making a lot of progress here. It looks like you're doing better. I just want to let you know. Don't take suicide off the table just yet.

And I died, dude. I died. suicide off the table just yet and i died i died dude i was like oh like you know people don't understand how therapeutic that is yeah i go dude you cannot like that's when someone died and it happened to a better person no i guess like my buddy my buddy mark lowry's like a christian comedian he goes he was his the funniest joke he ever told he was like in the hospital when his mom died him and his dad were in the hospital his mom right before she died she goes i think i see lights this is a true story she goes i think i see lights and she passed away everything was like real sad

they were driving home he tells a story they're driving home and his dad goes i can't believe mom right before she died she goes i think i see lights and he's a young comedian he's 18 or 19 turned his dad he goes you think it was flames just like and he said his dad had just died it's because of course he would yeah he goes yeah He goes, that is so, it's so helpful. Some of y'all's videos are honestly so like, it's so not the video, it's so

scary and sad. The world. And I think that's why we make the videos. Because we wear it very heavily. And you go, this is... Well well a lot of it is too i think a part of why it helps and there's two types of people there's people that make a video to like you know say why the other side's right but i think a lot of it is you go i've worked through all this in my mind come over to my side and i know how how i'm fine with it yeah yeah and this

is a lot of it is even like, let's say a fucking, you know, some girl like banged all your buddies or whatever and then eventually it's like, it's kind of like, this is how I'm fine with it

and I've got there. So then you kind of are telling other people, like, if you look at it this way, it'll be like, you'll laugh at it. The girl,

yeah, I had a friend. And then people go, well, you should be more mad and you go, yeah, that's the whole thing.

I'm telling people how not to be. It's not, this is like, this is, this girl I dated that she was a white girl, had a baby with a black guy.

And so she was like a single. Kicked out of the church. Yeah, 100%. Her dad was a pastor. That's a joke, but she was, 100%. And it was very, he was not a. Why was it a problem that he's a black guy? Just like in, it was like in like Texas.

Yeah. It's like very traditionally racist. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Up here is no problem, but back in the... Yeah, I would never, like, that sounds...

You get in trouble if you don't do that. She was a pastor's daughter and got... And the pastor's racist? Yes, dude. All right. Yeah, you understand that.

He's not supposed to be, but he's from the South. but he's he is from the south i would say if you're the pastor you'd at least pretend like no this yeah no i think they did but they like she was obviously like everyone knew she wasn't married and now she's with child yeah with child to say like she's a virgin marriage yeah and then so it was very traumatic for her to like deal with it because everybody kicked her out of the community and it was very traumatic for her to deal with it because everybody kicked her out of the community. And it was very sad. Because she had a kid also just not being married and stuff. And we were dating.

Me and her were dating with this little baby. You were dating her and she's not a kid. Yeah, I was dating her. Which was very casual at the time. Sort of a bad boy move for you at the time. I can't do that now, but I could back then. I'm just kidding. I could do that now, actually.

I couldn't back then. I had to keep it a secret but she writes this tweet because the guy when they got her pregnant was like nowhere to be seen right he's gone

so she writes this tweet at the window we were dating and she goes I was in Target and I saw another white girl with a mixed baby and I go hey you single too

and I go she goes can I say this I go I mean it's hilarious because it's her experience and she's on the other side yeah she's going this is so absurd and wrong this is helpful for me that's what you're doing with your videos because who says that's inappropriate yeah she's the one that happened to yeah and she's like good with it not good with it

but she's come to grips with it yeah that's her scenario that's her yes scenario so i go but people would be mad at that yeah what you're saying people would be mad at your videos i think you told it to me that was enough yeah yeah yeah yeah you go like she goes but she actually goes should i send this tweet she didn't publish it but she goes this is funny it's funny to her yeah and she thought that when she's in and she go this like the suicide you're like my goodness that's so heavy yeah it's so heavy like a lot a lot of girls videos are so like right but they always try to have a few of the things where like you where people watch it and they're like quote like that was you tried to push it too far but yeah you always go

my goodness but you do look at like a lot of y'alls with their like the headlines or like cancelled comedians off podcasts or when you put a lot of the headlines the real headlines yeah just go back to back to back to back and you just go this is absurd

but if you try to take that in legitimately and sincerely it's too heavy and that's why your videos are like like when i know it's a pretty good way to look at it when another comedian's popping off is like when when somebody sends me that like my brother-in-law who's like a he's like a he's on the deacon board of the church so he doesn't know that i know you sent me your video i was like oh dude he's he's like, Ryan's come onto the scene. He's come on, like, my pastor friend sent me a Trevor Wallace video. He's like, you ever heard of this guy?

I go, yeah, we've been knowing about Trevor Wallace, dude, yeah. He goes, this is the funniest thing I've ever seen. I go, oh, he's like in, he's like in the mainstream now. Yeah. My brother-in-law that's a deacon at the church sent me your video. was the fox versus cnn one but yeah yeah i mean that's the one that like put you on the scene yeah kind of yeah yeah then you're like oh this is like for everybody but that is a kind of a good point that like some of the stuff that happens in the world like it is it's too heavy you know it's too much but that yeah that's like a like the real way to look at

but also even just like a small where like so people, how they're choosing to deal with it. You go, regardless of what you do, you can't make a difference. You can't help. This isn't like, to be honest, it's not your problem. You need to figure out how to like, all you need to do is figure out how you interface with it that you're okay. And you react to it. Well, my dad is a pastor and he's a mayor and I'm a comedian he told me he goes you know we're doing the same thing i go what do you mean he goes you guys actually are you're speaking to a bunch of people no he goes well we all looked

at the world the way that the culture is interacting with the and we don't like it we don't like it and he goes i first tried to solve it through religion through i'm going to make these people understand that they should be nicer to each other that they should he goes and that not that it didn't work but then he moved on to try to solve it uh via law all right we're going to change laws to to correct the and i look at it don't like it and have chosen to be like yeah you're gonna change the perceptions change the perception he's like we're doing the same thing we look at word we're three of us look at it go well come on we don't like it and we're we're trying to change the percept or or make it at least palatable funny yeah i mean at least palatable so people can

cope with it because it's so absurd yeah and I try to just make myself somewhat bulletproof that I'm like you know that this isn't going to fuck me over one way or the other then you're free to make fun of stuff because you're almost removed from it but that's like one of the guys the comics that

don't have like a you're like I don't have a take here I'm not on a side I'm just like when you go out to like a march or like a whatever you're like I don't have a take here i'm not on a side yeah i'm just like when you go out to like a march or like a whatever you're like i don't no it's not i'm not on the other side i'm just on the side of like i think i heard a good like you know a lot of the uh business like finance people that you know i was talking about like tony robbins or whatever but like uh there's like a stock guy i think and they were like you know is it better to you know just make more money or is it better to do this and it was like yeah there is no better what are you optimizing for there's

no better that's so many people there's like in your life even right they're just like like I feel like with women I've dated a lot of times it'll be this it's like well you have to do this and you're supposed to do this and like I want to do this and it was like what are you optimizing for how do you figure out anything about the mix you want in your life until you decide what you're like, you're going, are you trying? Yeah. How are you going? So many people are like, have no idea where they're going, but they're optimizing the

best way to get there. Yeah. You're like, well, that's what I should do this. Well, you should do this. And I need to make changes on this and be like, well, what's, what are you doing? Yeah. Well, everybody, everybody, everything on Tik TO That's what everybody... Everything on TikTok, everybody's worried about the algorithms.

Obsessed with like, oh... How do you not if you're in this game? On TikTok, all the content I see is like, oh, well, if you do this... But no one has said anything about, what do you have to say? Oh, yeah. They go, if I said,

you got the biggest platform, you got all the followers all the engagement what's your perspective you're like I want to trip the algorithm to get a lot of views for what

for your crappy basic opinions but if you're like I feel like you guys is why I kind of connect with you guys might be the opposite On some areas But we do have something to say Yeah You have a strong perspective

Yeah Like Schultz has something to say Bill Burr has something to say Chris Rock has something to say You have a A perspective on how people Should live their life You have a perspective on like how

What the world's right about With men and women And what the world's wrong about With men and women And this is And other people are, in essence, raising their hand to say, we like this person has to say.

Like, this is... People have invited, just by followers and likes and shares. It's the voting. Yeah, they're voting. They're voting for politics. If you put this audio behind your dance, you're gonna get more for what?

Now, if you just need attention, just say that. Yeah, for attention. Just say that. Yeah, I want to be an influencer. And then you can make money because – so then it's for money. Yeah, for money. And it's cool to be like – I mean, a lot of those people are like, yeah, I don't want to work at a real job, so I'm going to do these dances.

But just, yeah, like we want to – like, I go, I don't want to work at a real job, so I'm going to do these dances. Yeah, like we want to, like, I go, I don't know. Like, I imagine when you go out and make those videos, and I make mine. Like, I have like 15 videos that I never put out because I, like, got lazy with the edit. But I love to make things. Right, I have about six right now. I like to just, they're like, oh, that must have been like, I don't know, like stand-up. I'm like writing a new joke, crafting it. They're like, dude, you're not going to last four days in Des Moines, Iowa at the Funny Bone

if you're not obsessed with doing it. Yeah, or anything you're doing. With something to say. Like, it's not, you're not going to last on Instagram. You're not going to last anywhere if you don't, like, what are we, what you say? What do you like? If you get off your own equilibrium, or worse, you didn't have one to begin with. Yeah.

Just, but if you like somebody like i was then you just that's how people just end up like finding someone else's equilibrium and trying to copy it go off that i always say in my show like everybody's like i go dude just forgive your dad like it's like a joke i go this would be easier if you just forgave your dad i say that in my show all the time there's like they're on there like it's just screaming on the internet. I go, just forgive your dad, bro.

Just let it go. Yeah, you're probably too old for this. Easy for you to say. No. But if people are like, like you're like, That's so funny. Forgive your dad.

Like we're like, oh, wouldn't it be easier if we all just forgave our dads? Like, Yeah, instead of this whole thing you're doing right now?

Like out at the, out at the, out at at the march, I go, I don't know. Maybe just forgive your parents. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just let Mr. Cooper off the hook and we can leave this whole thing. Yeah, then you can go free. You can cut the baggage off you, and then you can do whatever you want. They'd probably be the most lost at that point.

Yeah, because then you'd be like, oh, well, my... That was your North Star, wasn't it? Your North Star was like taking down Trump. And you go... Hey, hey, there's still some work to be done there, okay? I was watching CNN last night. There's a lot of heavy lifting still with that. But that was people's like personality yeah for four years

and a lot of people's North Star is like a content life you know what I mean yeah and you go yeah if you can figure out

your North Star you might find out that you could like get it easier than you think you know you're doing all this stuff and you go what do you actually want

and you go well you can actually probably get that in six months if you just see a therapist do a couple intensives over the weekend well there's people that i know that that i knew people that were at people in my family that were at january 6th like uh like in the capital trying

to stop it no because everybody everybody this is getting way out of hand Real patriots I'm so like Mad at When I have to go to the They were going to give Mike Pence a fucking dog Yeah yeah yeah Shut up with their noose for mike pence

let's go mikey but i go oh y'all the same you should like you're so mad at because if you were like they always say like you're born with 97 and then someone takes a percent you're down to 96 of what anything just life uh wealth uh privilege. Someone takes, you go, I don't... They're taking down the statues. Then there, I go, dude, just... I just want to get to the place where I just

forgive all the people. Yeah, I understand. My therapist was like, dude, even if you're mad at Joe Biden or Donald Trump trump you go i bet that's probably a hard job dude i bet it's a hard job i honestly sometimes think too how crazy it is that donald trump like how crazy it was before covet and then covet happens and he's the president he's the president while covet's happening when like if you remember like a week

before it's like he was the most hated man on the planet and And he was like, yeah. And everybody's the most animosity. And then you're like, we're just going to add this pandemic to the fire here. Somebody told me the other day that those Kardashian girls are alive. It's a miracle. With everything they've been through with their dad and being famous and people trashing on them. Did they have successful businesses. It's a miracle Justin Bieber

is alive. It is. It is a miracle that he is alive. And you just trashing on people for his music. He got a lot of hate back in the day. But still does. But those Kardashian girls...

Those Kardashian girls... A as much now. Not as much. Those Kardashian girls, like, a girl has a billion dollar business. That's a, that, with all that is put on that, like, you ain't going to find me, like, making for, like, roasting her. I'm just, you ain't going to find me on that. I feel like one thing that I came to terms with like a bit ago was that like all noise leaves you vulnerable and just like understanding like and whether that, do you know what I mean? Like in your fucking relationship, in your job, whatever it is, like making noise towards what you want always leaves you vulnerable. Oh, dude.

You need to like understand like what level can I deal with that? Yeah. I was going to talk to you because every time i see something funny on the internet i always like message you guys about it because sometimes i feel like no one else no one else gets it except for like y'all in a lot of ways like my favorite tiktoks are the ones where people post it thinking everyone's gonna respond a certain way yeah everybody goes nah dude that's my favorite dude this dude i love him so much slightly up that alley but last night on facebook i saw an ad for wnba league pass yeah they were like so it's every wnba game streamed

for 15 for the whole season and i went and looked at the comments and there was i think you're not even positive 800 comments on this advertisement. Not one of them was positive. It was just like, the WNBA is paying money to get roasted. And everybody just trashes on it. Dude, trash. People are like, I wouldn't, if you paid me. I love the internet, dude. I love the internet.

If you paid me $15, I wouldn't watch this. And they're paying for this. This isn't an organic post. This is a sponsored post. Yeah, it is. From the WNBA For the WNBA Everybody goes

Nah dude this ain't it Or like Dude it's just a roast Full roast session I love the internet so much It's very democratic In a way that like It like evens out

Yeah Like if somebody goes They're like They always go one Like I've Like they always go One step to Like if you're

Whatever you are That you're like, my followers are going to be with this and the people just crush it. It's just so good. Yeah, and the W is like, what are they supposed to do? Not try?

It's just, like, you know, they got to try. There was one, there was one, there was, it was a guy and a girl and they were out in front of,

it was like suburban home. They were out and they were like, we just got kicked out of our parents' house. This is what it's like to have toxic parents, and they just kicked us. And they had two suitcases on the front. Like fancy house? Nice house. And they go, this is what it's like when you want to break trauma ties. And then they just kicked us out to the curb.

And everyone goes What's the other side of the story Like everybody goes Wow And they go You're 27 dude Why are you living At your parents house

And just crush them Yeah like everybody Sides with the parents Just crush them Oh that's the best And they go Dude try this It's the best

Yeah it's the best I'll send it to you I'll send it to you After the show And he goes This is what Like you think You think like in the age of, like,

accept or whatever. Not for dudes. Then everybody's going to be like, yes, like, we're so supportive. But then I saw one the other day. Did you see the Drew Barrymore out in the, she was out in the rain? Yeah. So it was like, Drew was just like, if you ever get a chance to, like, be in the rain, like, do it.

And I thought, I go, i went right to the comments because like everybody and it was the opposite you thought everyone's gonna trash and they go we ask we they go we love this energy you're beautiful this is what we need more drew very more and i go like no i go oh dang i wasn't i don't really ever contribute to that but i go i go oh they're gonna get her and then they deleting something really heinous i like oh no oh is that this all right what do you do you i've been i've been canceled and it's horrific yeah but i still like when other people are canceled you would think i would be like more like well because you have your own sense of justice so in those interests you go that's deserved that's too far

yeah mine was well you might not like it if someone was like legit having their like life no no no well all right this is probably a point where you might not like it well perfect example is like one where people go yeah it seems like you just but the guy's an addict like addiction is not funny no it's not jack connor biden's like oh he's an addict yeah i can't be of course it's very there's like a a group of girls that was in that same uh the girl i showed you the wore the skirt same uh same denomination where there were pentecostal girls singing and they were it was so off key and so the dancing they're doing some kind of tiktok thing right and it was horrific and they were getting crushed in the comments and it was so funny but i go

i go i didn't i didn't i didn't engage in it but i read them and tiktok knows and i'd also did i did get the link and send it to two buddies yeah and tiktok also knows if you do that that's the highest form of so you did help yes yeah yeah yeah that's what going back to like the wallet thing you're like i wouldn't publicly say oh this is the most embarrassing thing ever but i did contribute to their their they're crying themselves to sleep yeah they're young 14 15 year old girls probably get some more points on the tiktok way more and this thing is going more viral because of what I did. So how do you feel about that?

Well. It is where you go. The funny's funny. It's funny. It is funny. And people did make fun of like Anthony Jeselnik. I mean, comedy is going to be mean sometimes. You have to.

Yeah. Anthony. When I got canceled, there is like all over Twitter. And Anthony Jeselnik said, well, I've never found a Christian to be funny, but there's a first for everything. And I was like, that's hilarious. Sorry, you didn't say that? Anthony Jeselnik.

He retweeted. He's like, I never found Christians to be funny. No, about me, making fun of me. Oh, okay. But it's funny that I got canceled. Yeah. And I go, tell him it's funny that i did that or a guy got canceled yeah and i go so tell him that that's funny okay i have the guys like that's funny that you can at least because you go yeah you gotta laugh at yourself yeah you can always step back observe it yeah that's funny scenario the most hurtful comment that anybody made throughout all of it was somebody goes who's

john christ i guess that's that was tough dude probably the best one that you sent me was this one that there was a guy, it was a tool for this fucking editing tool, and then they go is it AI that helps you edit your stuff or something, right? And it says this tool helps you edit your videos and it's a guy standing there talking

and the banner says this tool helps you edit your videos. It's like, it's just, every, it's like, oh, it's like so obvious.

It's funny, it's funny. How did that get over the top? I gotta send it to you. I don't understand a person on earth. And then I saw it a week later

and they changed it. Oh, yeah. You have to let, there's no other way. Yeah. Do you know people that just aren't with jokes?

Well, we know people that, Not't with jokes well we know people that uh not with not with your jokes not with any jokes oh yeah no who wouldn't know personally don't find things funny they like never no i don't think so i think that even that's why like funniness is such a hard one to like everyone considers himself funny because not everyone plays basketball like you can go i'm not good at sports not everyone speaks more languages every person when they're some degree like on a date or with their family they're making a joke they've tried a joke so everyone everybody so it's just a normal thing that everyone does so i think that's why i've heard people aren't funny it's like this

thing that everyone does you specifically i've kind of heard some sort of like you know nihilistic you know angsty teen thing where they go like yeah i'm not into comedy a period i don't like like they're just into emo stuff only like they're not they don't watch comedy they don't there's not into it how could you how could you be on the internet i don't know how could you be on the internet i don't know if it's a front that they're not see like a meme of your totally town or something i've never met anyone like that i've never i don't have as many angsty teams no i'm not saying i've met them i've seen them in like you know you just see a jewish thing

in my jersey uh no but you know you've seen them they go like i'm just not in a comedy i mean how many times i was like because like you you know you you i don't know if you get this but like because a lot of your like fans are from youtube and stuff and then you know the shows i'll go to and a lot of times you're like shows i'll go to and a lot of times you're like yeah i've never been to a comedy show before first one ever yeah i get i get that about stand up but like maybe watch like the big bang theory oh yeah funny but you don't like how could your whole feed just but probably the hindu guy that comes with the bread pan yeah he's not laughing he's not laughing at anything but you have to be like if the guy next

to you doing like he probably sees like a cricket just like hop and like maybe like miss a branch surely well that's like all like all women in like their dating profiles like love to laugh like yeah everybody does every girl's everybody's even the buddhas probably do something where so the guy goes to self-immolate And he goes It's water in that jerry can Yeah Because watch this But then there's a guy That he goes

It's water Buddhist prankster That's funny There's always got to be The guy that's like He does the jokes But like Too far

And then he goes He got ahead of talking to By the Yeah Because like Well that's the water To gasoline Yeah

That's too far Let the man burn You said my jokes Yeah it's the, that's the water to gasoline. Yeah. That's too far. Let the man burn. You said my jokes. Yeah, it's the guy drinking the water and he goes, yeah, and that's the gasoline. Come on, dude. Oh, come on.

Look at him. Well, people have said your jokes are too far. I can imagine that. And people said my jokes are too far. Yeah, and I'm sure those people say my jokes are really too far. There's people that you say their jokes are too far. can imagine that people said my jokes are too far yeah and i'm sure those people say my jokes are really too far there's there's people that you say their jokes are too far me yeah it may not for you i will say too far yeah um a lot of times i'll be like in my opinion

it's not too far for me but i think i'll recognize that that was the wrong joke for the scenario it's the wrong choice you know what i mean like if everyone's like it's too far it was like yeah it was the wrong choice like no one thought that was the wrong choice. You know what I mean? Like if everyone's like, it's too far. It was like, yeah, it was the wrong choice. Like no one thought that was funny. But like me, I think I'm so like, I'll still, then that might be funny to me that everyone's bothered. You know what I mean? But usually I'll kind of analyze the joke like technically a lot of times.

There's nothing. If you have 12 people here didn't like your joke, I'm like, yeah, that wasn't the right one. Unless it was for me, you wanted to piss them off to make me laugh and then I'm nicely done. Respect. I'll get a lot of joy out of watching another comic just bomb out a room.

This is loving this. We send each other videos back and forth of comics just eating it. We should probably wrap up. What time is your show at? This is going to come out Tuesday. I don't know if we've got any other dates on the tour yeah we got a bunch of dates on the tour yeah we're going all over what's your like next week or whatever uh

we're going to rich from virginia we're doing the iowa state fair you got a lot of fans out there in iowa i mean we have we actually pretty fairly yeah pretty yeah what's the what's the demographic of this podcast 18 to 35 year old male ish like probably main demographic oh dude i got all female friends we can we can share yeah we should get them all to meet yeah repopulate we should start our own religion hey yeah yeah we definitely know 90 probably guys 100 hell yeah dude well check out me and john are gonna do a video too but check out his YouTube

YouTube John Christ Chris Denny also I love how he always calls you Christ fine fine I'll switch it

I'll take it I like Christ yeah and then also big you know TikTok and Instagram accounts super funny stuff

your recent viral one that I feel like everyone would appreciate but it's like what was the the gas station yeah the gas station was really funny

but you've done which one where you have to get the how they do the news oh yeah the news is the gas station yeah every every yeah yeah you've got a ton of really funny ones but also news ones are usually always pretty funny yeah you've had some news bangers you just did one uh the like what was the gay dog yeah there's the real news story about a guy turned his dog into the shelter because he was humping another dog that's I spliced in myself being like I knew

he was gay you always like take news stories and then like act like you were the action but like if someone didn't know you they could think

that it was real which is funny yeah then I put the same like captions at the bottom and stuff like that this is unbelievable

alright fuck it dude thank you for coming on let's go buddy you're the man, dude. Okay. Peace. The boys. The boys.

The lads. The boys. The dudes. The lads. The lads. The lads. The lads. The lads. The lads.

The lads. The lads. The lads. The lads. The lads. The lads. The lads. The lads.

The lads. The lads. The lads. The lads. The lads. The lads. The lads. The lads. The lads. The lads. The lads. The lads. The lads. The lads. The lads. The lads. The lads. The boys and the dudes. The boys and the dudes.