The Boyscast with Ryan Long - KYLE DUNNIGAN ON DATING, SITCOMS & GETTING BANNED OFF TIKTOK

Episode Date: August 23, 2022

Kyle Dunnigan is an American Emmy, Peabody & Writer's Guild award winning comedian best known for his sketches. SUPPORT THE BOYSCAST: https://www.patreon.com/theboyscast http://ryanlongcomedy.com MERCH - ryanlongstore.com Ryan @ryanlongcomedy Danny @dannyjokes Kyle @kyledunnigan1 LEAVE US A FIVE STAR REVIEW! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Boys! The Boys Cast! The Lads! The Boys Cast! The Dudes! Prepare yourselves for The Boys Cast! The Bros! The Boys Cast! The Homies! The Boys Cast! The Dudes! It's here we go! The Boys Cast! The Boys Cast! Welcome to an episode of The Boys Cast, the smooth Tuesday interview style. Smooth days.

Smooth days. Everybody, it's smooth days. Friday is guys day and Tuesdays is smooth days. I like that. When we do them. It's a smooth interview with one of the fellas. One of the boys. And one of the funniest guys in the world.

I'm sure all of you guys know his sketches. Kyle Dunnigan. We have him in the studio. He's in New York for a bit. And we went to lunch and then he came through the studio for some smooth. Smooth. Smooth talking. Day.

Light a cigar perhaps. Day Tuesday. Just sit down. A smooth cigar. Just light a smooth perhaps day two day just sit down a smooth cigar just light a smooth not one of those bumpy cigars not a bumpy cigar light a smooth cigar sit down

you maybe get into your canoe it's canoeing episode what if you want to be in a canoe and then you just don't let that cigar canoe paddle and then you take the

no I don't say let the cigar canoe and you're in a canoe and you're chilling because it's a smooth thing to do not sure why this canoe analogy is really

who knows where the canoe the canoe is a really relaxing thing Danny is having struggling with the idea that I was coming up with relaxing items but your canoe idea

needs to hop in its own canoe and scram well when I was let's see if Danny can, off the top of his head, come up with something more relaxing than a canoe ride. I will wait. Just hanging out with Ryan's mother. Much less smooth.

So relaxing. I disagree. That would be relaxing when you're sitting outside on the couch and my mother and my stepdad are having a good time just in the couch hanging, wondering why Ryan's buddy is hanging outside. Who brought him here? Just having a smooth...

Why are you here? We only know of you tangentially. Why is he here? And he's just having a smooth sit outside. Not quite as smooth as a canoe, but he tries. But he keeps asking about the canoe situation. More of a paddleboard. Another smooth thing would just be sitting on a pool lawn chair, perhaps.

It's a sunny day. You got the SPF out. That sun razor coming down. You got the boys cast smooth day on. You took the Tuesday off work and you were just chilling. Don't get burnt. Don't get burnt. Kyle Dunnigan, ladies and gentlemen.

We are here with the man, the legend, Kyle Dunnigan. What's up? And we are unfortunately finding out that our plant was gone because people were saying we got rid of the plant and I thought Danny

got rid of the plant. I would never get rid of it. I have been watering the plant because we have a bunch of people who are always like, yo, as a regular thing, people are like,

in the comments of our YouTube, it's like, please, someone, check on that plant. So I've been putting it in the window and watering it

and then I guess... What kind of plant was it? It was one of those like banana something. Oh, you had a banana tree? No, not a tree. It was like a plant. I think it was something like it

but everybody was joking because it's one of those plants that can't die and we somehow were killing it. Oh, yeah. Well, I feel like Kyle Donegan, you're the one... The plant,

the dead plant of comedy? No. I was going to say, I feel like you're probably One of the most people That like I feel like even I stress out a lot

About all this stuff And I feel like you stress out More than me We just had lunch We probably Run out of things To talk about No we have a whole bunch

I got all the stuff I could save some stuff Because we had a power lunch And we talked about The business Where it's going YouTube All this sort of stuff

editing Kavaz editors he doesn't get us guys he doesn't get us you can tell I'm a novice I use you do

I use quick time cut and paste do you do a lot of like when you're going to sleep like you can't sleep because you're just thinking of like I don't even

yeah no I just my brain loops to the point also like a piece of music will get stuck in my head and like over and over do you guys i mean i think everyone has trouble i have no i have no trouble sleeping it's like one of the one things i can't sleep i feel like that's weird weird to hear someone actually sleeps not you know we used to do used to like farm all day and you're exhausted and you had no phone and then you'd

collapse you're talking about like some sort of agrarian society i guess i'm not saying that's that's not known but we're just the way we are to worry about man yeah i mean if we were if you worked like a 12 hour a day manual labor job you would sleep like a baby but you also didn't have to probably go to after working all day at your farm then like then go on your phone and look at every other farmer and be like, you all murdered it today. So much plowing. And then all these regular people who eat corn who are like, yo, your corn fucking sucks.

It's the worst corn I've ever eaten in my goddamn life. Yeah, your corn sucks. That's a funny sketch idea. Or like cavemen getting stressed out because they see the other corn. And then people coming on being like, yo, corn's done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're still doing corn? like, yo, Korn's done. Like, you know, Korn is over partying.

Korn's wrong. Well, no, I, what I was thinking would be funny is because me and you have talked a bunch

about doing something or whatever, but like, I thought I should like pitch you some sketch ideas. Yes. And see what you think of them. Do you want me to rate them

or do you want me to? No, let's try to like write one. Okay. This is exciting. Okay, go ahead. Cause I know you guys,

well, him and Kurt actually do like writer's rooms and I've done one with him. Yeah, this is exciting. Okay, go ahead. Because I know you guys, him and Kurt actually do writer's rooms, and I've done one with him. Yeah, you've got to come back, because you were good. They're super fun. You were smart and good. To me, the funniest,

to me, I'll always seem to go back to, because if I think of what Kyle's style is with me, what about, you know how you do like the Fresh Prince, like do a sort of a sitcom, like corny about two guys dating the same girl that they all live in the house, like my girlfriend's boyfriend.

Yeah, I feel like I could write a sitcom in half hour and you wouldn't know the difference. You could crank them out. Well, I mean, don't you watch it and go, that'd be the first I'm not sure I could name a sitcom right now. Like a

Big Bang. Don't you think you could write that in an hour and you would know the difference? You would write it in an hour and then you could go back and punch up and put the eight jokes in later. Have you seen the Dolly? The AI image generator?

Yes. They'll have an AI sitcom generator in five years. I totally do it right now. You go, this is the premise. Here's your log line, synopsis, and here you go. You list all the characters, and they go, here you go. Do you ever try to laugh along with a sitcom? After five minutes, you feel like a lunatic.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. That's great like yeah if you that would be insane like you're dating a girl that actually laughs when the laugh track laughs

you're sitting in bed it would be a lunatic sitting in bed laughing is rare like even watching a comedy special I probably three times

four times tops yeah I have the worst laugh and that's a big thing for people liking you if you have a good laugh like more people like you what's the laugh

it's a fact mine's it sounds so sarcastic and people are always like condescending yeah like is that fake i'll go that's generally me like thinking it's something really funny i go usually i make no sound and i go oh that's funny or if it's really funny i'll go i'm gonna make that face um i've actually tried to work on it because I noticed yeah cuz people were insulted and I'd be like no I really thought that's funny but you're in front of your mirror just yeah just like this is what I came up with but it's still not good it's better though I'll do a this is fake but seems better

have you ever considered hiring an actor coach like an actor coach well no that's the that's the torment of Kyle Dunnigan that you can play every character

except for Kyle Dunnigan oh I know no I sometimes go I don't know I don't think I know who I am I've also when you go into

stores or whatever and someone has an accent I'll just start doing it without unconsciously and then I'll if I'm doing an impression i'm like working on i'll go out into the world and i'll i'll i'll feel like i'll start doing them and then just be like who am i like i like i think i'm like this like i am now but i might have gotten this from something like it seems like not me either. This drab guy, is this me? Is this me?

Boring guy. I might be. There's no telling. Definitely. Okay, so I had, I feel like the original one is the girlfriend's boyfriend. So then you kind of have two guys and they have to hang out and be like, you know, the... Wait, what is this? So if you had the sitcom and it's like...

Wait, is this the pitch from earlier? For a sketch, yeah. Okay, I was confused. Go ahead. I went back to that. I went back to our sketches. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the sketch is...

That's my girlfriend's boyfriend. Something like that. Maybe it's got like a sister-sister sort of vibe. Yeah, yeah. So the cucks? That's funny to do like a super... The cucks, pretty good. That's super funny to do like a super Pretty good That's super funny

To do like a Super white sitcom But have all of the Black like style Like the Martin style So this guy His girlfriend Is dating

So no She has Like they're So the girl Has two boyfriends Okay And they all live In a house together

The three of them They're a throuple They're a throuple Are they like Mormons Or backstories just like... No, this isn't Brooklyn. This isn't Brooklyn. Yeah, like she's polyamorous.

Okay. And then she has a new boyfriend. Yeah, she loves us both. Yeah, the first guy's not super stoked about it. Okay, one of them's not stoked. This is essentially two guys, a girl, and a pizza place just without the pizza place. Okay. I thought it was the cup.

No, no, remember with Ryan Reynolds? Oh, two girls in one cup. Or like Will and Grace if Will was straight. Yeah. Okay. Didn't the other guy need to be straight too though? The guys are straight and dating her. I feel like the problems, you know, would be like,

whose jizz is this? And the problems would be sort of. Yeah, yeah, like it's on the, like jizz is on the on the on the sheets or whatever and you're like you have to clean it off and you go that wasn't me because i was playing video games at that time we got to set up like these are my condoms gold ones are my condoms don't wear these because then you won't know whose jizz it is whatever and then one day he can't find his condoms like oh pete'll never know and then the audience laughs like oh he's gonna put that on his dick yeah and then you hear him roll it down everyone's like, and then the audience laughs. Like, oh, he's going to put that on his dick. Yeah. And then you hear him roll it down.

Everyone's like laughing. He's like the roll sound. He's looking for Pete. Like it's a long, comes out of the bathroom. Who touched my cock rings? Yeah. And then he goes like,

oh, Pete comes back. This is like a week later. And he goes, oh, I'm out of condoms. I'll just use this, use one on the ground.

I mean, that's got to be my jizz. Cause it's my condoms. Michael would never put my condom on and then the audience is like and then he puts that used condom on his dick and the audience is just like oh my god all right next guy yeah okay next guy can i do the foley on that absolutely i'd like to do the foley on that? Absolutely. I'd like to do the Foley. I'd like to volunteer to be the Foley artist. Yeah, that's definitely. Yeah, the sitcom style works for that, I feel like. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. How about like a sketch where you go to heaven and it turns out that like God is like the biggest like bro misogynist. So he like, you know what I mean? Like he's, for example, like, yo what i mean like right like he's for example like yo dude like heaven's fucking sick bro and he was like so basically every guy like there's a pass code on your phone that you can only open with your mind and girls phones are always unlocked like shit like that all girls get in all hot girls and all yeah the hot girls like no it's well or maybe it's the opposite where where all the guys get in for free,

and the girls have to pay for the guys, unless they want to go to hell, of course, with their heaven bucks. Wait, so the girls have to pay for the guys? I love how Ryan's version of heaven has a federal reserve. Because they have to print money. Heaven bucks. You've got to think about it. You've got to think about where the fun is going.

It's all crypto. It would be crypto in heaven. Heaven's super for the boys. God's just super bro. But don't they want girls in heaven. Heaven's like super for the boys. Like God's just like super bro. But don't they want girls in heaven? Isn't like Sky Bar where you want the

hot girls getting free? I'm thinking wouldn't the bro have it? This is payback for that. It's payback for that. But then you get a place of just bros in it?

Okay, maybe that's the joke. You have no sexual desire. That is heaven. Just bros here. They just start fucking. Yeah, heaven. You didn't realize that heaven all along Yeah, maybe You didn't realize That heaven all along

Yeah maybe you didn't realize It's just a sausage festival Heaven all along You can't But there's no reproducing You're not reproducing Because you're dead And in heaven

So like you don't care About sex Right right Or maybe Just hang with the boys You get there And you find out That God's like

They send way more Like no girls go to hell But like most guys Go to hell So it's very exclusive if you get into heaven as a dude because now you have three chicks per guy oh and you're yeah i guess you don't need genitalia um no that would be heaven i would love you don't wake up you don't wake up in the middle of the night to pee yeah like there's no way you have genitalia when you're

dead that's a good question if you if you did uh what are're dead? That's a good question. If you did, what are you doing with it? That would be the ultimate. You go to get your 72 virgins. I mean, every joke... Heaven makes no sense. When you drill down heaven, it makes no sense. Even the seeing relatives is like... How old are they? They're the age

when you want them to be. What about their opinion about their... Who's taking care of the babies that have died? You should be saying these things with the Bill Maher voice, by the way. Oh, great. There's a fetus in heaven. I can't wait to hang out with a fetus. We'll be right back

with Tiffany Haddish. Okay, here's one more sketch. We're going through sketches. Do you know how girls are like... Am I getting paid for this? These sketch ideas? Well, there are...

Probably should get... No, there are sketch ideas. Oh, there are ideas now. Okay, cool. Yeah, there are sketch ideas. Yeah. You can't go do it without me. Well, I'd have to have your permission.

You have to permit your payment of some kind. Yeah, exactly. These guys are old school. They don't know about the internet or anything. The giz kind of thing isn't like yours. It's kind of just everyone's, no? these guys are old school they don't know about the internet the jizz condom thing isn't like yours from the other it's kind of just

everyone's I saw him write it down on his thing I actually had it written down timestamp before we got in here it's just a coincidence

that would be so funny if I just fucking did the condom thing yesterday like a word but it became like the biggest it becomes like the biggest sketch

in the world like in Korea it's like on the news it's written I'm Johnny Fame in the sketch. In Korea, it's on the news. I'm Johnny Fame in this sketch. Ryan's getting interviewed by a Korean Johnny Fame. How do you come up with this? He goes, I don't know.

I just came up with it all by myself. Just all your ideas. I'm doing streeters. I'm eating people's food. I'm like, that's crazy. I'm like, but in my mind, I'm like, pretty sick bit. You hate yourself when you go to bed at night, but you're just on a bed of $100 bills.

I'm on a rocket ship okay so you know how people are uh like a lot of times girls like they have like very like empowering masturbation videos like you know like they do there'll be a lot of like pornography no it'll be podcasts about there's like a lot of like podcasts about like how like you know you should be using vibrators and like you need to get in touch with yourself. But like, I feel like that's so like prevalent in like female communities. Yeah. But like, I love the dude version of like how, like the, if dudes talked about like masturbation, like the way that girls did. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

You gotta, you gotta stroke it yourself and make yourself feel good. You know This is up to you You need to grab that Yeah Thing Start whacking it No one

Yeah Talk about like It's kind of hard to come Just like Light a candle Yeah Sit back Light a bath

Just like Touch yourself Get it in Don't force it Like it'll happen Yeah yeah yeah You're a little drunk That's not a problem

Right Just unzip that thing get it out there's just the boys here we can all lose sponsors oh yeah i have a sponsor who hey i'm happy to promote my sponsor because but um i didn't even know you were in the program we don't get sponsors for we don't get sponsors much on our channel i don't know this i've heard you talk about it i don't know why i don't get sponsors much on our channel. I don't know if you know this. I've heard you talk about it. I don't know why. I don't either.

We're actually really good. The sponsors we have are happy. But it's Auto Blow AI. Yeah, we did Auto Blow. You did? Yeah, yeah. I just thought that could fit into this sketch. It would be a seamless promotion.

That would be a perfect one for Auto Blow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Am I the only person at this table who hasn't used an auto blow? I never used it. Oh, my God. Actually, I mean, I used it. You've really got to try it. You know, he sent Joe Rogan a crate full of auto blows.

Really? I mentioned him to Joe Rogan. Well, he used to be the Fleshlight guy, yeah. Oh, was it? Well, Joe Rogan was the original doing Fleshlight. Oh, I didn't know that. Okay. Fleshlight was big into comedy back in the day.

Auto blow is the new thing, though, man. We don't mess with Fleshlights. No, no, no know that. Okay. Fleshlight was big into comedy back in the day. Autoblow's the new thing, though, man. We don't mess with Fleshlights. No, no, no, no. We're company men. Yeah. You're Boxwater, man. You guys sponsored by Boxwater? They are.

They are. Boxwater is better. We just steal their water. Do you think that, so one of the things we were talking about is like the, and everyone says this, but you feel like

they kind of confirmed it, but they're like the Los Angeles girls are just like insane to date. I mean I told you at lunch. I'll tell you. This sounds like another Johnny Fame lie but this happened two or three dates in a row where a

girl didn't ask me one question the whole time. Not exaggerating. Not one question. So I'm at this, and I go, oh yeah, what do you want to tell me? Yeah, you pick a restaurant. So they pick like the most expensive restaurant. There's no concern about

maybe you don't want to pay for the most expensive. First date, don't pick the most. So this was like, oh, some gnocchi's $80 a plate or whatever. That's crazy. So I'm like'm like oh you picked a really good place so we're i think they're about two hours and she after like an hour i was like she doesn't ask me one question she doesn't know what i do she doesn't know this is all my dating it was from an

app yeah online app and then uh i was just telling ryan there was there was moments where it was awkward not to ask me a question. Like were you kind of tapping your fingers? Yeah. She goes, I love Portland. Portland's my favorite city. And I go, I was just in Portland last week. Dead silent.

She just goes, nothing. Why were you in Portland? Great question there. Dude, I feel like that game over there is just like... And she just goes on to a new place she likes? Yeah, she's like,

and also, because their pizza's good or whatever she's saying. I know so many girls like that from like the Toronto kind of scenes that I roll around in. But yeah, they're just like,

they're professional. Like, if they're hot enough, it's like, okay, this girl's cool to kind of just like have as an accessory sort of, but they don't care about you and it's sort of like that's the only way this

relationship makes sense in any way yeah because it's like yeah they never had to pretend they gave a shit they got away they're so old yeah also i understand like i don't give a shit how many siblings you have do you mean like i'm with her like I don't give a, I'm sure, it's not interesting. She's just there for her thing just to feed herself? I think, yeah. She's got free meals? Well, that's if they get you. Like, ideally, if they're hot enough, then you need to find a way to get your benefits. Like, for example, if the girl's really hot and this is a scam, you're like, hey, but

I'm bringing you somewhere where everyone's going to see this at least. Yeah. Yeah, right. I went out with her a couple more times. Okay. It was on me. Oh, really? The second one, I was like curious.

I was like, because she kind of, you know, came back at me. I was like, all right, let me see. And then she would like kind of was interested after like a few dates. She started to, I think we, I think maybe a fourth time she was showing like real she suddenly realized she didn't know me at all she switched into it yeah yeah so okay maybe that was like on the fourth day is when she finally asked what yeah she's like what's your name yeah i was like yeah it's it's a weird thing out there there There is sort of a liberation a little bit when you're dating a girl that really doesn't care.

You know what I mean? Yeah. You know what I mean? Because if you're like, they don't care, you can sort of not care about them. And also, they're not going to notice anything you're doing. No, no, right. Yeah, there's a liberation in that.

Yeah, even just like, even especially with career stuff and all this shit, like I actually don't like when someone is like, Hey, are you okay? Like, you know, you seem like I actually probably a lot of times like people just kind of

like ignore me. I mean, I agree. Like I need downtime with myself and I don't want to insult somebody. And I don't, you don't feel like you can hurt them as much as someone who's really attentive because I do go through

that's a huge part so it's less responsibility on you because you're like yeah I'm not because I think it can be some sort of a grinding

to always kind of like be responsible for someone's emotions that's really invested in you if they're like uninvested you're like oh I can

like whatever I do is not affecting them I mean I guess it's straight up at the end ofinvested you're like oh i can like whatever i do is not affecting them i mean i guess it's straight up the end of the day you're like yeah it's no responsibility it well it is though like when you're writing too like when i'm writing or working on something i i fog out pretty hard uh and i bet i'm a pretty bad boyfriend and then if like i've dated women that have been more sensitive and attentive and then I have to like kind of explain why like I seem real fogged out that day when we're at the beach or something and it's not you. I was just thinking about something in there. You know that.

Yeah. But it always like there is a point where it just like you just feel like you're always explaining yourself. You know what I mean? Yeah. And then I like let them and I feel bad I generally feel bad and I'm like I had a great time

with the beach I didn't even realize yeah yeah well they're just their antennas up are just they're all the time you know for that kind of stuff

they're always looking for like oh what's the problem here and you're just like just leave me alone I fog out though so hard sometimes I really try not to but I fog

you fog out oh is it because you're thinking of other things especially editing you're constantly it's like the is it because you're thinking of other things especially editing you're constantly it's like the opposite of meditating you're constantly

throwing your imagination to like the future and like a scene that's not happening right now so after hours and hours it's hard to like turn that off

I think meditation I don't do it but when I do it it really helps bring me back I keep thinking that I should try and I don't

I've done it a few times I've never really had it matter. It's hard. I feel like working out or running is the only thing that I feel like can reset it a bit. That is kind of meditation. It is a little bit. But no, I do feel like the most,

that's why it's like, I feel like sometimes doing internet stuff or whatever is better in some sense because when you're doing like a TV show, it's like now I'm just what like this for four months. Whereas at least I feel like the most time, uh, that I'm content or like available is when I'm just wrapped it.

And the least time is when I'm almost wrapped. Like if something's like close to done, it's like, I can't hear that your family died. Like I'm sorry. They all died. Yeah. I said even for next week i promise you tomorrow i will hear about this whole car crash situation i'm it wasn't a car crash i don't know yeah i had a girl who was uh we were talking she was uh from overseas and she was coming to like visit and i was like that like i had like a deadline that you know that week and i. And I was like, I just, I want you to come, but I just, I have to work.

And I don't want you to feel ignored. I just want you to know that. She's like, oh, I'm coming to see friends too. It's not just coming to see you. You know, she's like, they're getting insulted. But I was like, I just want you to know, because that's what's happening. So anyway, I took off like a lot of time for her, you know, like two days. I think I remember this.

Can I tell you a story? No, I think I remember this. I tell you story. No, I think I remember when this happened. Like I didn't know the story, but I think I remember like we were talking about doing something. You had when, when you had this, it was just like two months ago,

ish, three months. No, no, but this does happen a lot. It's a recurring thing. Yeah. Okay.

Sorry. But then once I started working at like, it flipped her out so bad like she couldn't take she couldn't take like an hour of me working you know he's like what am i just gonna be here for seven days like it's only only four days and uh she had two more days to go but she first she started pretending she was like writing a script and i would take breaks you know like every 20 minutes i'm like what is your writing script like what's it about and that the whole thing just devolved there was like no no plot

um i shouldn't talk at a school this doesn't go out on the internet does it it just goes on rumble it just goes on rumble by the way not doing well on rumble at all no you got on is that Is there a trick to that? I think the trick is that they put you on the homepage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Our friend puts us on the homepage. Our trick is our buddy puts us on the homepage. Can I give you money to have your buddy put one of my videos on the homepage?

I can introduce you to him. I'm sure he likes you. Yeah, I'm sure he knows who you are. Because I'm dying on Rumble. Yeah, but I think that there's not so much of an algorithm there. I always say with every app, because people are always saying, oh, use this one, use this one. Everyone will use every one once they hear one person that popped off on there.

If you hear one person that's like, oh, my friend's selling tickets from RedTube. Also, the comments on there are like, you could post the most, because you'll have a thing like joe biden right yeah post one of those videos and it'll just devolve into like all this vaccine like the comments are mental awesome yeah it's great but it's just like yeah it's it'll be unrelated

to anything you posted all right cool yeah i like a good comment section oh me and ian were talking recently because we did a video about weed and alcohol and there was like so many people that smoke weed being like i I actually smoke every day. And if anything, I'm like, but they're just saying the things from the video, but for real. I just thought of something. I bet someone's already thought of this.

I'll tell you guys after the show. Nice. No, I'll tell you now. Yeah. Wee. I think I want to hire like three people, okay? Just an idea. Okay.

Might not happen. To just go on my videos and just write insane things that will just spark controversy and arguments. Cause that's how the algorithm YouTube works. Like people commenting and stuff. You could just have three fake accounts. There is no COVID. It's this and whatever.

Uh huh. You post a video. Just get people fighting. I get, maybe get a hundred people to do that. Yeah. Why not? And just a crazy comment section. Push the video. video i mean the easier thing is just make a video that

gets people to do that video just just you just sprinkle in little conspiracies you know you just got to get the conspiracy minded people just have just put this under have a couple comments six million question mark just like you know get people talking. Where's Fauci? I don't... Where's Fauci? The thumbnail thing is eluding me. I'm not good at writing a thumbnail people want to click. I try, but I find it's not a talent of mine to...

No, I've had a lot of thoughts about that too. It's a skill in its own right. I look at all those, like, how to get your video seen more. And all of them them they mentioned the thumbnail every single one yeah but i think i don't know like i've tried to do a few thumbnails here and there where you do the like all this stuff and i i don't know people don't click on it as much so i don't know i think it the truth is like you're doing stuff that's like kind of hip like for lack

of better words you know what i mean like it's kind of cool so it's like kind of hip, like for lack of a better word. You know what I mean? Like it's kind of cool. So it's like the people that are going to like your stuff are not the same people that are going to be necessarily attracted to like a corny thumbnail. Yeah, they're not like watching like a Minecraft video. So I don't know.

There's like a, there's a part of it's that too. You know what I mean? Do you think I should have like real Biden picture on the thumbnail or like my cartoon Biden? Cartoon Biden. Cartoon, yeah. Yeah. But I don't have the perfect answer to that.

Well, get it. Well, the one sketch that I thought we were going to do, like we're, no, no, that was, we were maybe talking about that Kurt actually had the funniest idea for it. But I like the, a modeling agency that's like age positive. So it's like, they only represent nine year olds, but it's clearly like creepy guys but then so it's like almost dust agency it's like just because you're on the

brink of death doesn't mean that you shouldn't have a contract you should be a supermodel sort of thing right yeah but i said kurt had the funniest thing he was like yeah but it's like you represent girls 30 to 40 i think we were talking about when we were doing the Zoom but like you have like a modeling agency for old women yeah but they're like 30

yeah 30 like an elderly modeling agency you could set that up as like a prank and just have models come in

yeah maybe that's like a street thing and you just keep saying like this is a fact that you're old doesn't mean you can't be beautiful

and she's 29 remember I don't know if it's so much now but remember like there used to be the whole thing with creepy dudes where they just go walk around the mall

and be like you should be a model I'm a photographer yeah just to meet women scouted them but then you just that's the thing

you go you find girls who are like in their 30s and you go like I and then you just be like it's called almost dust and you're like what

oh yeah no you have yeah you have they have them come in and there's a secretary and an Almost Dust thing. Like a proper prank. And then have a seat and they like kind of help you down. Just have a science.

That's when it helped them sit. Yeah, like the bars. Like, you know, like the safety bars everywhere. Yeah, the bars in the bathroom. But they're like healthy 30 year olds. Oh my God, that's such a funny prank. Yeah. And then everything is like, yeah, just they started to see theyear-olds. Oh, my God. That's such a funny prank. Yeah. And then everything is like, yeah,

just they started to see the small things here and there. Almost does. Society. Oh, you're an old bag. You're disgusting now. It all depends. But they have like a net. They have their like ads and it depends and stuff.

But also you have like two other models that are like actors and they have someone come out with a tray to give them their pills. Like shit that do you want to try on the bikini now the bikini put that on okay and they'd be like this is offensive or whatever yeah it almost does i do always wonder actually what's this like the the um audition process if you're like a underwear model like a depends model i mean you got it do they bring you in and you go slide a underwear model like a depends model i mean you got do they bring you in and you go slide those on that is a good question because i always look at them like when i'm at the grocery store and i go like i could do that i could be a depends underwear model like for the you know middle-aged guys but do they bring you in they're getting like there's 20 guys just

wearing i would love if you booked that i would love if i booked that too that'd be hilarious dreams could come true i think they're they gotta get the guy with the shirt off. No, they always have a wife beater. They're not shirt off. Yeah, not on Depends. Oh, I did an... Shirt off stuff. Shirt off on a male...

You look like a baby at that point. You look like an adult baby. They're trying to distance the baby thing. You look like a dude just in a diaper. That kind of looks like underwear i feel like i could i feel like wearing diapers sometimes you know just fucking when you're done editing you're busy you're like if you have the girl in the other room and the bathroom is over by that room oh my god she packed up like four times there's so much drama drama. Really? It was kind of fun. It was kind of fun.

Yeah, I guess. It was fun. Oh, yeah. You were coming off a recent breakup? No, it wasn't a breakup. It was like to see. We talked online or FaceTime and stuff and talked. And then she came to visit.

And that was the end. Yeah. Have you ever had it? Because you've dated some famous Hollywood people. Have you ever had a big've dated like some famous Hollywood people have you ever had like a big like drama one where it was like where you got

yeah Elliot Page we really had it out at least a spar you know well you didn't want to say a trans joke I probably shouldn't

talk about transgender issues but one thing I noticed is like with Elliot Page and also Chaz Bono I probably shouldn't talk about transgender issues, but one thing I noticed is, with Elliot Page and also Chaz Bono, is the pictures are like a guy that, if a guy did that picture, you'd be like, what a douchebag guy this is.

If I post a picture showing my abs and looking tough, you'd be like, dude. Especially if you're not specifically big, you know what I mean yeah yeah if you're like 110 pounds yeah no you that's a good point

Chaz Bono's putting shirtless when he first came out he was kind of like being like a tough he was being a tough guy yeah like tough guys

I think we all agree you know when someone acts tough tough guys rule you're just like they rule they're nice to have around you know i mean we're not all like that we're not all no that is like a good point

though because i mean there's sort of the same thing as you know when guys you know do drag or dress like girls it's always like a you know like a super like the the cliche version is what you go for right like you go for what would be like the stereotypes of like a girl you know like the cliche version is what you go for, right? Like you go for what would be like the stereotypes of like a girl, you know, like the big heels and like all that kind of stuff. Like a lot of times, right? But I mean, in New York, sometimes it's like, or nothing. It's like still got the beard and everything. So not that, but.

Maybe it's because you're feeling repressed for so long. You're going like further and further. You're going to go, I'm going to go the most of it. Yeah. Let me ask you a question. Yeah. This is the section we're called the canceling section of the podcast. If you're born in Africa or something like that,

do you want to, then you want to have the bone in the nose, whatever the woman dress is, that's what you, the neck. That's long neck. I want to wear the stretched neck Like if I went over The stretched neck Cause Like this is me With the stretched neck

That wasn't me Is that what happens Yeah you're right Cause the things Are just cultural So if you were Like if you I'll tell you where

You probably don't see That many trans people Like where they have to Wear full burka Like you're probably Oh yeah Yeah you're Wait that'd be a good

Kind of numbers to get you can't like i can't imagine yeah let me pull that up yeah it's zero yeah zero in saudi i think in some of those places where not where they were the full burger but i think a lot of times the gay people because they don't it's like illegal to be gay or whatever so it's like actually they let you be trans because they go like here it's like trans is higher whereas they're like it was the opposite where it's like oh i'm uh i want to have sex with men they go yeah because you, it's like trans is higher, whereas there, it was the opposite, where it's like, oh, I want to have sex with men. They go, yeah, because you're a girl. You know what I mean?

Yeah. They're like, I'm a guy who has sex with men. It's like, no, men don't have sex with men. You're a woman. Kind of like a jail rule. That was like the ISIS stuff, right? Where they go like, yeah, they were- No, we're not having sex with men.

That's a woman. That's a woman, yeah. Yeah. That's their little youthful- They're very progressive, right? My sister dressed me up as a woman much of my childhood she she wanted a sister and they're like you're having a brother and she cried and then she was like you're kyle lena she's like dressed up as a girl very brave of her yeah and makeup like like a whore like a whore five years

old girl slut i got pictures of it doesn't that kind a picture on my phone. How many stories is that of a serial killer? That's the origin story. It was the sister's fault. How did that happen? Is this your background? Yeah. You look at it every morning to remember that, no, you are Kyle. Oh, my God.

You guys are going to really be disturbed. That's crazy. You found it recently to the show to people. This is my childhood. There's my sister in that. Oh, yeah. She was having a good time. She loved having a baby sister.

My mom would take me to tap and jazz. She also dressed my brother up, too. Do you think she ever sees you doing the Caitlyn Jenner stuff when she's like, that was me? She's proud of that. There she is. We finally got her. There's my little girl. But I do love the idea of having the African guy switch it

and he gets the rings and the bone. I was supposed to be born like that. But with the super long neck. Still the super long neck. Because you probably can't go back from the long neck. No, when they take the... Like a lot of those people, when they take it off, like they die. Oh, like if you were on a deserted island,

you were born, let's say you were born transgender, you were in a male body, but you're like, this is wrong. Would you make like a dress? I feel like if there's no society, you wouldn't care. Yeah, maybe you wouldn't care if there's no society. Right, that's interesting. It's like you're just like, yeah, I don't, you probably wouldn't think about it like would you be also it's like if you were the i i bet you there's not a i mean if the idea of trans was like uh introduced in most societies

like that where you go hey the guys are gonna go on the hike and then like you know try to kill all these animals and blah blah blah and the girls are gonna kind of chill here with the kids like probably nine guys be like crazy thing i just realized yeah it's like you know what i identify as more of a gatherer yeah i'm more of a gatherer like i'd rather just pick up these berries like fight that i think in most most societies of the world everyone's like yeah okay buddy like if you were they're like hey men are getting drafted to war and be like crazy thing i just figured out about myself so crazy that just happened yeah i mean that literally happened in ukraine didn't it where there's like a few of them or because they wouldn't let men leave the country to fight and then there's a bunch of guys who like and then what happened with the trans

people what they do they were like no they go there's a war no they're like we put up with this for you know it was fine before but yeah it's serious no they don't have women fight over there No. They go, this is a war. No. They're like, we put up with this. It was fine before, but no, this is serious. No. They don't have women to fight over there? No. I mean, they might have women who can, but it's mandatory for men. I got you.

Yeah. I got you. I'm so glad I missed a draft or anything. Oh, God. I feel like I would have dodged it, but. Yeah, I would have. I'd be gone. I'd be doing the, what's's the guy uh spurs in the ankles no what's the guy that uh that shit his pants robert durst or whatever yeah and then he was

like on the lam so he wore our girl's wig and he oh yeah yeah yeah i feel like i would maybe go that would be a good time to go trans if like the army was looking for you yeah he's not here i got a jury duty how by like lying and being awful which is well here's the thing i guess yeah uh i just like i couldn't do jury duty do you know i mean like there's like a murder it's like a murder trial i'm like i can't be every month so uh why do you think you couldn't do it it's like i'm it's to be at least a month To me I'd be like For what? I have a job I can't take a month off for free And they pay you like a dollar a day

It's your civic duty And the guy was in a gang And it was down to me and like Down to the wire 16 people left and I'm like Dunagan you gotta get out of this And the guy's standing right there And he's in a gang and he murders people And I'm like The Dunagan, you got to get out of this. And the guy's standing right there. And he's in a gang and he murders people. And I'm like, the judge talks to you.

He's like, do you think you can be unbiased? I'm like, I can't be unbiased. I'm definitely biased. You said that straight up. Yeah, yeah. And he goes, why is that? And I was like, my brother's a cop. And he's like, well, that's OK.

You still can't be. He kept drilling me down. And he's like, that's fine, though. You can still. And I was like, no, because he chose to be in another shit he chose to be in a gang which i think is a really bad choice so he probably made other bad choices and this guy's just like if i could just murder one more guy they let me off i i told this on our shapir's podcast did the other jurors kind of see that yeah this dick they're also jealous that I that was the first guy

to just go all the way well that's like everybody always says you just be like I'm racist and they go well that's not enough to get you off

that's pretty fucked up that everybody knows you're racist how funny would that be if you didn't realize it was a televised trial and you went like you're like

you know obviously I can't because I take their classic being of all this shit have you read The Bell Curve? so anyways I don't know is that a this shit. Have you read The Bell Curve? Is that a camera? This was earlier in the jury selection.

There was probably about 40 of us left and they were actually sitting in the jury box and then we were back in the seating and they were going through each and they started with this guy and they asked you random questions. I don't know if this is normal but they asked a dating question. Excuse me. Sounds like a game show. was they said who would you want to have a dinner with dead or alive that's what they asked that's a bizarre question i had a jurors blt earlier so the first person says martin luther king okay second person says Martin Luther King. Okay. Second person says Barack Obama.

Right? These are all white people. Okay. Okay. Third person says, those two, like, legit. Third person says Oprah Winfrey. Now I go, oh, this is getting good. There's a trend here.

There's white guilt, like, on. Rob Dyrdek. Dyrdek. So I'm like, ooh, this is good is good you know now they're locked in now like three people said black people this fourth guy is under the gun yeah you can't you can't go white you know so who do you think he says joe rogan no who do you think he says jesus fourth one was magic johnson out of all the people living or dead. But you're in L.A., right? He's in L.A.

So he's in L.A. At least he's a big L.A. guy. Magic Johnson, he's not that funny. He's a good businessman. I guess he has some business questions. Yeah, great basketball player. Well, one of... No, Charles Barkley is the funnier of the two.

Yeah, I've been having dinner with him. So that's the fourth one. Fifth guy, now what does he do? He's got to go black, right? Yeah, but he's running out

of black guys in his head. He only knows like four. That's all of them. Sean King. Take a guess who he's that. But it's a black guy. Uh-huh. Okay.

Kevin Hart. Will Smith. Yep. I guessed it? Yep, Will Smith. Come on, I guessed it? Hey, that's right.

Yeah. Can you believe having that come out of your mouth? Dead or alive. I don't... Einstein or just Will Smith. You're like, yo, those raps you did, they're so sick. White guilt is real. They were all so scared.

So all five people were white? It's five or six black people in scared. So all five people were white? It's five or six black people in a row, all white people saying that. And I think the next. Oh, my God. And then it was like a Hispanic woman was like David Duke. That's how you get out of it, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, that's.

But they never got to me. Like, I didn't. They didn't keep that. Were you like planning for when they got to you Like were you worried That someone was gonna pick you Yeah I was like Will I am

Then the person right before you goes Ah will I am Ah fuck Yeah Yeah But I mean you wanna almost Pick someone that You throw them off

Because you're trying To get out of it right So yeah you can't You don't wanna be like Too on the nose I think that everyone says I'll say something racist But when you're actually there You would No you don't want to be too on the nose. I think that everyone says, I'll say something racist, but when you're actually there, you would...

I was so uncomfortable looking at this guy who murdered people and being like, you're a bad person. That takes a lot of balls. I was scared, but I more didn't want to do jury duty. Did he have a bunch of teardrop tattoos on his face? Yeah, he did have teardrop tattoos. He was in jail already. Derek Chauvin.

or drop tight. That's ballsy. Yeah. He was in jail already. Derek Chauvin. I mean, Robert Dyrdek actually would have been a nice transitional guy. Like a funny thing, yeah.

Just to, you know, sort of start to... Well, you just say something, but I'm sure most people would be like, who? Dyrdek, yeah. Some lawyers, like, who?

Do you think, are you happy to be kind of out of, like, to some degree, running, making stuff on the internet and be out of, like, that's, like, was that system wearing you down being in the, like, Hollywood, you know, kind of mill for a while?

I feel like I wasn't barely in it. I mean, there's new fears. Like, I got, you know, the band from TikTok. I am, I still have, like, fears. Those are real fears. But it's, like. I mean, because, you know, it's,'s i mean it's just a constant battle of like you know them it the idea that people that like you can do something wrong and they just make

you disappear is very it's terrifying yeah it's very uh it like just whether you want it to or not it just gets in your like bones in your head yeah and just i just can't the when i look at what i do i think it's so incredibly silly the fact that it's uh i i can't imagine who it's harming i don't know i just i see things that aren't you're a permanent band i'm on i got it you just got the like multiple like it was permanent band then they reinstated it, but it's on this warning where you can't make any money on it, so I can't make money off it. Yeah, I always think it's not nefarious where it's pointed at you.

It's just... Obviously, the kind of one way is like, hey, they just have a thing that they want everyone to think, and you're just a casualty of that. They're not looking at you and thinking oh this one's harming or not harming it's like they're not thinking of you at all no yeah no they're just doing something and you're a casualty of like decisions that you don't affect yeah there's also like like uh instagram like if 10 people complain you're just it's like shut down

there's something like that we're so it's any's any topic. No, Twitter is kind of, I was, we were talking about this and I was thinking about it after too, that like the, like the, the people who do the fact checkers, like TikTok is very, okay, there's a, you know,

12 year old girl dancing, almost nude. That's good. Like a good to go. Push that one out. Yeah. Push that one out. Good to go.

I will. Yeah. and then, you know, oh, like a joke about sex. It's like, get him out of here. Yeah. YouTube's very like, hey, something you did in that hour we didn't like. You get one guess. Yeah, right.

We'll give you one guess. But what's really cool is people are like supporting, people like us, you know. Yeah, definitely. People who like our stuff support. It's like a direct thing. You feel more responsibility. I don't know about you.

You do, yeah. But it's good. I mean, it's like you were saying before. None of your fate was in your hands. Yeah, yeah. It really is. It's better. Yeah, yeah, way better.

And you kind of get to know who's watching it, so you kind of actually hope they like it, you know what I mean, as opposed to kind of putting a TV show out. There's no real place where you see the feedback. You hear from too many other people that don't actually matter. It gets a little convoluted,

what actually... Yeah, I know. So it gets closer to actual how comedy's supposed to be. Mm-hmm. I get, I don't know about you, but like, you know, subscribers or whatever, like Patreon or on YouTube,

I do that too. There's members on YouTube. Yeah, yeah. And it's like other content I'll put out, like bonus stuff. And if I get like one thumbs down, that's the most painful. Like someone that paid money,

like they were so supportive and they opened their credit card and they filled the thing and they put their credit card and they filled the thing and they put their code in and then he puts me up and they're like, no. I know.

That hurts the most. Yeah, the paid. The paid thumbs down. Woo. I want to just go to their house and apologize.

That's the equivalent of like, yeah, someone that's like, you see them before your show. This is very bad. Yeah.

They're like, I'm your biggest fan, dude. Can't wait for the standup show. Then you see them after, they're like, okay. Yeah, yeah. No, this is where they're like i'm your biggest fan dude can't wait for the stand-up show then you see him after like okay yeah yeah no this is even worse they're like hey where's that guy and they go he left in the middle yeah he left that way through yeah i'm a pleaser and that's not good for stand-up to be you gotta fight that i don't know if you're pleased you pleaser yeah but i

well i think a lot about the fact that it's kind of like a mix of masculine and feminine kind of like both at the same time where it's like the the people pleasing is like necessary to kind of be good at it but the like being able to like not do that is necessary to like win at it yeah i gotta balance so like one of them is like how you you know you can't be a people pleaser to win, but you need to be a people pleaser to be good at the thing, I think. Yeah. So you're kind of always trying to like balance those parts of yourself. Something to balance.

I noticed this past tour, like who my, what my fan base is, like who they are. And I was like, there's a lot of like single guys. Like it's mostly, cause people go to comedy shows with their girlfriends and like that a lot of times. Yeah. Yeah. It's like individual guys. I'm like, why is i was like oh that's me oh yeah like they're identifying with like like everyone's fans are them a little younger yeah yeah some are a little younger but some are a little are my age and like yeah probably like

like 30 to my age whatever but like it's funny it's funny. I was like, oh, that's, they're identifying with me because that's what I'm like. Yeah. Which is, I like that I have something that people are identifying with because I don't think I had that before.

What are you finding in your fan bases? Yeah, it's like mostly males. But yeah, I think that Hispanic males? Yeah, it's mostly Hispanic males, gang members, stuff like that.

Yeah. But they're, yeah but they're yeah you're you're kind of like speaking for those people and i think that that's a general like especially got where you're just kind of like in a lot of ways what the industry would see is like a normal white guy and you go yeah well there's a lot of normal white guys out there and it's like very ignored yeah they're being actively like you know actively spurned by the whole industry or whatever but they turn on tv they're like there like you know actively spurned by the whole industry or whatever but they turn on tv they're like there's nothing for me on tv anymore or the or there's types that

aren't them like there's lots of different types right but there's lots of different types of people in the world right so it's like you know you'll see a whole like subset of guys like you know guys that are big on the internet where it's like you know kind of like a we have a buddy who's like a like a video game black guy like you know what i mean like that doesn't get a ton of play like i feel like if the industry was sort of making that guy they would write like a video game white guy and then make him black you know what i mean whereas like that is a type of guy that i know yeah he just doesn't fit into a mold that they but it's not exactly the same as like the video game white guy you know what i mean yeah they drive differently yes they drive differently but there is a whole section of now they have a someone that's like

for them you know what i mean because like the market can and real people can do a better job of of finding people for people uh then you know people in a room deciding and there's tons of people that's another thing there's so many more people than you can fathom. There's so many people, and they're all on the internet, and they all like different shit. You need the tiniest sliver, and that's a ton of people.

Yeah, you could find your group now and find something. Yeah. Yeah, it used to be just, I don't know, four channels. Okay, you're, four channels. You're on four channels too, huh? Sick. We're going to wrap this up with one thing.

No, no, no, no. We're going deep. We're going another hour. I'll tell you what is actually kind of interesting to me off topic is because I feel like when I've heard you talk about on things, like obviously you do in audio too, like something kind of silly for like a living but i feel like you also talk about being like a kid in childhood more than i feel like a lot of other people do oh that's interesting i don't know for some reason i feel like that yeah do you think that like that you've one of the reasons you're good with this is you're like still tapped into like how you were when you were a kid. Sometimes I feel like I'm so removed from it.

Even when I think of, oh, when I was in grade two, I feel like you can tell stories about when you were 11 and you kind of still remember that mind space that you were in or something. Yeah, I do remember. I'm detached from that. I don't have a very good memory in general. My friends tell me stories that I just completely forgot. were in or something yeah i do remember i'm like i have a very good memory in general like i i my

friends tell me stories that i just completely forgot but um i i don't really um like i being on on podcasts and i i worry it's a little boring do you know i mean like because i i kind of craft try to craft something yeah make it and then I feel like like people are like really good podcasters so but it's like part of like the world now that you kind of have to be like a podcaster

you don't have to do anything you don't have to do anything you're right yeah but um I got a lot of stuff to say but it's good to have stories for podcasts

so I try to remember like stories about my life oh okay like maybe that I mean but also the stuff you do because you know they say like the older you get like a lot of people they're like you lose your imagination like people just say that and like the stuff you do is incredibly imaginative right so there maybe

there's some sort of tie in there i don't know like i feel like there's people say that you're like you know you get bogged down with all the shit of being an adult and you well you see kids they have these wild imaginations and it's like you don't see adults with that generally you lose it yeah i really did avoid responsibility yeah for a long for till now i mean i have very little you have it now no i have a dog and that's really it i mean that's i i don't know how it happened but that's what happened that's how it shook down yeah but it's probably why you're able to do stuff like this. Yeah, I definitely, if I had a wife,

she would not put up with my schedule. How many guys do you know who probably were doing comedy with 20 years ago who are just like realtors now who do nothing and they just, or whatever,

they work some job and they probably could not even do anything anymore. Yeah, that's what I was telling you before. People my age are like gone. Like they're very... But if you said like, hey, I got a gig. We're bringing the team back. They'd be before, I just, people my age are like gone. Like they're, they're very. But if you said like, hey,

I got a gig, we're bringing the team back. Like they'd be like, I can't anymore. Yeah. I physically don't have the capacity to just like make my brain do that. Yeah.

Well, there is something about, yeah, because the highs and lows of it, I feel like as you're, get older too, you become less, um,

willing to, and able to deal with like extreme highs and lows like i feel like when you're a kid like or even when you're a teenager like it can be everything's the best and everything's the worst whereas like i feel like that's exhausting for like adults so i think that it's necessary the same same way it's like for probably entrepreneurs and stuff like that, you have to retain your youthfulness in order to be able to cope with it. There's also, as you get older, you have perspective on all the times you got really excited and really upset that none of that mattered.

Right. And so when a similar situation comes out, you realize like, oh, I can get really freaked out or really excited but this is all going to kind of shake out and not be in a few years going to be I always feel like people when you say that you don't get excited our female friends will always like

last night they're trying to trash me being like I'm not emotional or whatever but it's like that's a choice to some degree like it's a choice to not get excited but you also know that by not getting excited you're going to be also less upset i yeah i think i do that a lot yeah like you are sort of you can't decide where you go i'm going to be in like happy when good things happen but not i'm not going to care when bad things happen like yeah you create the high you've created the low. Once you go like that

happy, you will at one point be that much upset. Yeah. Like you create, whatever high you create, the low is just waiting for you. Because everything's temporary. It is dark. The low is just waiting around the corner.

But, it's kind of fun to have a life where it's kind of dramatic. It's kind of fun in a way. Yeah. It's exciting. Well, that's why that balance. Not everybody's built for it. But if you have, because everyone needs a little bit of that.

So it's like you need to find somewhere. But if you're already, what you're doing for a career, the highs and lows, even look if someone that's in aggressive sales, like highs and lows are like built into your life then you definitely don't need them from your fucking chick or you don't need like that's why i feel like sometimes with when people are we always kind of have this conversation on another thing but about like people that always want to like travel and do all this stuff i feel like if i had a life that was more stable yeah i would want more highs and lows on my but it's like the opposite yes because your life's so

all over the place the last thing i want is well let's do like a bunch of that shit yeah i totally i totally like a girl that's like a you know you're fighting non-stop or whatever yeah yeah that was like a 20s thing that's a 20s thing for everyone a lot of people drama relationships were so funny they suck drama relationships yeah this was such a waste of energy i just remember like getting fights or whatever yeah dude it's like yeah i banged a couple of your friends like take it easy whoa whoa whoa i was the same man hey take it easy so we're talking about these uh reddit threads right oh yeah and like so there's all these ones like ice chewers and all these crazy ones but okay uh tony found like the best

one there's this one so because you know you're talking about the elliot page thing where it's like it kind of is you become this like uh it's almost the you know what would be like a douchebag a little bit yeah but it's like it's it's kind of the same what would be like a douchebag a little bit. Yeah. But it's like, it's, it's kind of the same thing as this, where a lot of these Reddit threads, you pick like the douchiest thing and you were like proud of it,

like as your identity. But this one's so funny. There's a whole Reddit thread of people that eat hot wings and that's their whole identity. Right. Okay. And it's called, it's called Reddit it's called uh reddit spicy

blazing challenge so it's just my favorite thing so i'll read one of them wait okay no no no go ahead there's a couple of them a lot of the things are you know people um talking about for example you know what what medications they could take to make sure they eat hot stuff and it's essentially really into it just i just makes me laugh so much being like a grown man and you're just in this reddit thread with a bunch of strangers being like how did ghost pepper yesterday like pretty sick dude first time and then another person being like yo you ever had the spicy wings at this place you're like wife coming down and being like what are you doing like there should be a pepper like you you no one's eaten yet this would get me a little interested there's like a pepper

no one has been able to eat without or a couple of them yeah like they died they ate and they died of hot mouth or they have like but it's a whole community like brooklyn they do a hot pepper festival yeah people love spicy people love spicy food and they love like it's a yeah but the idea is like people being like i did this it's like we've already seen everyone people eat a ghost peppers it's over yeah like you climbed the mountain and then well they've been trying to breathe them they've been trying okay that's now i'm more interested okay yeah so they try to breathe the peppers without their peppers there's this one kid on tiktok who i see who he just i guess he has I'm more interested. Okay. Yeah, so they try to breed the peppers without their peppers. Yeah, to make them more spicy.

Even hotter peppers. There's this one kid on TikTok who I see who he just, I guess he has, he can't feel anything spice-wise, so he's just trying to feel anything, and he does, he combines every insane pepper. Like, he'll open up a huge pepper,

pour a bunch of, like, hot sauce inside the pepper, and then, like, this, like, pepper flakes and everything, and then put, like, another pepper inside of it, and he just eats the and everything, and then put another pepper inside of it, and he just eats the whole thing,

and he's just like, nothing. Wow. Where it would cripple me if I had one of those things. Yeah. That guy shouldn't be allowed in a pepper-eating contest. Oh, he's a ringer, for sure.

He's a ringer. He's a ringer. Well, this guy's a hipster, and he goes, I finally got my hands on a ghost pepper powder and the California Reaper Flakes. I'm underwhelmed by how perfectly manageable they are. Yeah, see?

It's probably this guy. It's probably the guy. He doesn't know yet, but he can. Yeah, but I just love, like, fucking the idea of you, like, going back to your group and be like, yeah, it wasn't that hot. Yeah. I'm used to using habanero on everything so I expected these to be insane but they are not has anyone else had this experience? is there something wrong with me?

so it's sort of a humble brag yeah that guy is cool they're all this guy right? like they're all too cool I would say dry if he's doing the dry powder that probably did take some of it out of there

the juice is what sticks to you possibly yeah the oils or whatever yeah right I mean these guys are just pepper spraying themselves. They don't puff powder at you and the cops when they want to stop you. No. It's the liquid.

It's the oils. So that's potentially this guy's problem. Is that what someone said, maybe? No, I didn't look at the comments. No one commented. The comments all probably are like, yeah, Allison wasn't hot. Yeah, there was like a wing place in Toronto, and they did the whole thing where if you uh you know you got to sign the waiver and then they put if you

eat these wings they put you up on the wall or whatever and a friend of ours ian did it and he ate like 44 of the wings and he's just like yeah it's not normal for a week or something pavone did the hot ones and he came oh that was crazy crying basically yeah you know the hot ones of the show like yeah and then they were trying to make a game show and then they hired a bunch of comics as just for the demo of the game show so it was never gonna air just the demo and then they made them just do shots of like hot sauce and stuff like it's torture oh my god for like 150 bucks or something like it's insane this one guys can you eat spicy food with mouse ulcers i've developed all these ulcers but i don't want to take a day off. Day off.

And is this a spice thing specifically, or do they have to eat wings every day? I don't think it's only wings. They just like spices in general. Wings are just the best conduit for spice. It is. Wings are the best. And they have all these things. At Buffalo Wild Wings,

they have this thing called the Blazin' Challenge, where if you eat 10 Blazin' hot wings in five minutes, you get 100 Blazin' points, but they're super easy to eat, so I go every week and get my i mean the idea of your computer and taking the time to type what you just said what is that person's life i'm gonna put this online he's helping the community this is the weird thing about the internet now it's like all these people are finding these insane specific communities where they're like there's thousands of us

god man what's my community hmm you could I guess you could be in like an editor group or something yeah

just totally stressed out green screen addicts oh yeah green screen addicts guys I got a brand new life or let me like a group

have like a meet up of guys that do impressions. And you're just, everyone's doing impressions of, uh, actually I wasn't Carl. That was me. I like didn't do impressions forever.

Like I just started a few years ago. I thought that that would be of like, I think that you were always good at it. But you knew you could do them all. I did them as a kid for like classmates or whatever. And then I started doing stand-up. And no one did impressions. It was kind of like no one was doing it.

On stage, I get that. Yeah, and then that was it. And I just would do them for auditions for sketch shows. But I never would do them. It's the most thing that I'm jealous of. Impressions. Yeah. It drives me nuts that I can't do it.

I like doing impressions. Because it's like I don't get why I can't. I've spent lots of time. You have a very specific voice, too, which might be hard for you to manipulate. I have a very long neck. I went to a doctor, and I hurt my neck. They took an x-ray of my neck,

and the guy was looking at it, rubbing his chin, which is a very you don't want to see your doctor look at your bones and go huh you know what's that so he calls in another doctor and i was like i'm dying i was preparing myself for like a death conversation and i was like whoa what is it and he said did you do ben shapiro because i think this guy might be able to do Ed Shapiro yeah

yeah oh no he said you have the neck of a seven foot man right sob yeah but I think part of it's good

I can pull my like well you do speak properly like you kind of speak like this where I speak from like the wrong part of my voice yeah you're at the back well I went

you have a distinct voice which is good for comedy like I when you hear you right away you know I don't to see you you know but you don't well I went to a doctor because I had all these voice surgeries right you did yeah oh well that's probably for striking your before but no I've always wanted to be able to do like you know accents and impressions and i've spent like you know hours and hours trying to be able to do it and i've never got anywhere with it but when i've got all the uh the voice surgery is one of the things that made me laugh at the doctor is

he was kind of like hey so you the way that you walk is like contributing to this so it's like you need to walk way more upright and he's like you're talking too high so he's like he goes like naturally you should be sort of talking like this right and i go yeah i mean i'm not gonna start walking and talking to her like i was like i'm fucking doing comedy for a living like i don't like how is it so you wanted you to do well he basically like you ever seen like a musical theater kind of person yes i feel like you know that's like how they all sort of it's very projecting and you're like Very straight up Yes It's almost like

You stand very straight up But you don't look like You're naturally standing like that So it seems weird You're like opening your diaphragm Yeah So you're basically like this And as a doctor

He's like He has got a voice like that He's like This is how you naturally Should be speaking Blah blah blah And I was like Okay well

That's out of the question Sounds like a radio school That they teach you You go to school To be'll be on the radio. I went to a speech therapist. I was like, I got, whatever, something on my throat. That's what I had. And she told me to go around and go, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

You hum in the front of your mouth. That's where you should echo chamber the echo. And what was the other thing? You go, brr. I do that. I do it but i always think like i used to uh my body was always kills me on this because i used to do it and then i would do it while i was running and i lived in kind of like an area where there's like a lot of like homeless people and stuff like that and he saw once and he was kind of like like you just look like a crazy person

like you're literally like running around the streets going, you know, I'm alone a lot and I forget, like I'll be in my house for our days and I'll go to the grocery store and just full on be like, should I get chunk light or solid white tuna? Just full on conversation. Straight up to yourself. Let me stop.

Yeah. But, um, I don't know what we're talking about. Reddit. Yeah. No, but that was, well what we're talking about Reddit yeah yeah no but that was

well we're done and then one last one said are my taste buds ruined because he can't taste them anymore that's what happens you get used to it he's into

keeping the game but other than that if you haven't checked out Kyle's YouTube channel it's like one of the funny things

hey check out the YouTube channel that's just YouTube that's Kyle Donegan right funny things. Hey, check out the YouTube channel. That's just YouTube. That's Kyle Donegan, right? Yeah, my Venmo's Kyle Donegan. Yeah, the Venmo's. That's how you get demonetized. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that's what happened. Maybe you had your Venmo on your Instagram and everyone thought they were dealing with an OnlyFans situation. I gotta do an OnlyFans. Not to think of it.

Women go like, oh, we can't make as much money. But men, we can't do an OnlyFans. That's not an option. No, there's some guys who are. Or just dating a rich guy is usually an option, too. I think if you had an option

of everything fails, I could just take pictures of my feet. You know what, though? That was true maybe a few years ago, but there's no shortage of women with unsuccessful... There's also nothing... There's also nothing better than... Dude, you're plan B unsuccessful. There's also nothing. There's also nothing.

Oh, there's. Dude, your plan B failing. You go, you go last choice. Your tits fail. That's bad. We were talking about that with like a comedian sometimes where they're like, we have 30 year old friends. I can't remember who I was making, like we were making fun of this with, but like the idea of one of the comedians was like, you know, I think he was like probably in his

forties and he was like, you know, I'm thinking it might not work. So I might just like, you know, I think he was like probably in his forties and he was like, you know, I'm thinking it might not work. So I might just like, you know, I think there's a last kind of go situation. Like if not, I'm just probably going to go like be a construction worker. And we were like, yeah,

you can't do that either. No, you 42, you can't just go be a construction worker. Like that's also not enough. Like it's like worst case scenario like also isn't available yeah that ship is also sale like do you know anyone in construction like he's like no i just kind of assume i can do that it's like yeah you probably can't you're like

older now and also like don't know the game you don't know how to work tools yeah you're very bad old man yeah you're just gonna show up and start trying to build decks like hairy stuff you can do that worse than you can do this yeah hell yeah Instagram YouTube Kyle Donegan

one day we'll come up with new sketches we're gonna do something soon we might do we might do the condom sketch

we might do the condom sketch we're looking for financers yeah if anyone wants to fund the condom sketch we'll make that happen on a blow

on a blow yeah I shout out peace peace the boys Yeah, if anyone wants to fund the condom schedule, make that happen. Audible. Audible, yeah. Shout out. Peace. Peace. The boys. The boys cast. The lads. The boys cast.

The dudes. Prepare yourselves for boys cast. The bros. The boys cast. The homies. The boys cast. The dudes. Experience the boys' house! The dudes! Experience all this lost love!

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