The Boyscast with Ryan Long - Leaving Your Chick at The Airport For Being Late, & Jimmy Fallon is a MEANIE!! w/ Colum Tyrrell

Episode Date: September 15, 2023

Colum Tyrrell joins the podcast to discuss drones hitting NYC streets, Danny Masterson's controversy, and a study that finds people who "manifest" are more likely to go bankrupt. SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! Draft Kings - Go to Draftkings.com/audio and enter code BOYSCAST to claim a free starter pack Fitbod - Go to fitbod.me/boyscast for 25% off your subscription Butcherbox - Go to butcherbox.com/boyscast and use code BOYSCAST for $20 off your order Manscaped - Go to manscaped.com and enter code BOYSCAST to get 20% off and free shipping SUPPORT THE BOYSCAST: https://www.patreon.com/theboyscast http://ryanlongcomedy.com MERCH - ryanlongstore.com Ryan @ryanlongcomedy Danny @dannyjokes LEAVE US A FIVE STAR REVIEW! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You know, studies have shown time and time again that women claim to care more about climate change but don't actually want to make the necessary changes to help solve the problem. I was telling my wife the other day, there's no need for us to be doing the dishes daily or showers as that emits up to 109 kilograms of carbon a year. And that's assuming she's in there for a reasonable amount of time. The other day, Rebecca came to me and said, Tom, I'm going to work. I need you to do the laundry and the dishes. Why don't you just cut down a tree while you're at it?

You know, and I said exactly that. and then the moment she left I went into that hamper. I took this shirt out of there. Put it back on. I used this left sleeve to wash the dishes. Smart. Killing two birds with one stone obviously metaphorically and not literally. Last week I'm taking the wife to the park for her annual birthday picnic and we're already in a bit of a tiff because she doesn't see eye to eye with me on my no flushing policy. In about 15 minutes into waiting for that bus, I see her trying to call an Uber. Does she not know that a vehicle

emits up to five metric tons of CO2 a year? I knock the BlackBerry out of her hand and during the struggle, the box of cereal I'm bringing for her birthday dinner goes everywhere. And then instead of helping me pick it up and put it back in the box, she runs inside and calls an even further Uber

to her mom's house with no regard for the Earth's rising temperature. That's sickening, but you do bring up a good point. Because when I instituted a no vacation policy to reduce our footprint, Rebecca threatened to leave me before throwing my binder of coupons out of the window in a fit of rage. Where I come from, that's called littering, but it's hypocrisy at its finest. On one hand, they claim to care about emissions, but then bring up the idea of getting married

for the 13th year in a row, knowing that by holding that ceremony, you might as well be strangling an endangered leatherback sea turtle with your bare hands. And if you plan to have kids, you'll be strangling a few more, which is why I threw out all of her credit cards, because you know what I say, plastic is murder. Now let me ask you a quick question about those coupons. Have they been located or are they still out and about? Oh, I found them, but it took me quite a while. The boys cast before we got into it. Okay, here's this clip. Early this year, I came out as gay to my husband, soon to be ex. And he had the sweetest and most amazing reaction.

And this is what he said. What did you say say i said that i was so proud of you and that was the bravest thing i've seen that anyone do and this is a man that did not want to be in a relationship i gotta go hold the tickets that's literally you go my prayers have worked to God yeah there's a vision board really

you're gay huh that's crazy a gay woman he was just about to murder her he has a knife oh

oh good good good calling off the hitman yeah yeah it's too late to call the hitman The hardest part about that Would be just holding it How happy you are

No you'd be sweating it though With the amount that chicks change Like you're like The divorce proceedings are going through And you're like I hope she doesn't switch back to straight Yeah And then she's got Three weeks And calls off the divorce proceedings are going through and you're like i hope she doesn't switch back to straight like yeah and then she's got three weeks and that's true calls off the

divorce she pulls the camera out though you're just like one more video that video you know you just imagine making that last video where you just like the minute she presses end this is over oh man i was loving that though because people were posing it and she was like she's just like so happy that he was nice to me when i came out of the closet it was like that guy was legitimately probably every single day as you were watching all and you know that exactly who she is that she's making a big stink of coming oh this ain't her first tiktok that's for sure he's been in a lot of yes this guy's like this is so we're breaking up and this is my last TikTok? He even said that. Yeah, he even goes, I'm so proud of you.

And that's the bravest thing I've ever seen. Because he just drained. More brave than I was the last two years sticking this out. Not killing myself. That's bravery.

No more biting my tongue. Ah, shit. We got Colm Tyrell in the studio. Oh, hey! With a new special. Go check it out at youtube.com slash Colm Tyrell in the studio With a new special Go check it out at youtube.com Slash Colm Tyrell

That's exactly it And I've got also a big announcement That I'm going to make before Because I've been sort of saying forever That I might be coming to the UK And finally it's going to be happening in January And the tickets are going on sale On next Wednesday

London, Antwerp Amsterdam Copenhagen Oslo Stockholm and then also the New York shows that sold out at a theater so thank you everyone for that then we have Tacoma Vancouver Kansas City Omaha Edmonton Los Angeles Irvine San Jose Phoenix Toronto Perrysburg Columbus Liberty Dallas Baltimore Winnipeg San Diego Let's go everywhere I'm an everywhere man I'm an everywhere man And Danny You have a fucking weekend

Coming up right No that was last week Woo Woo And Danny's got big stuff Still going on Tune in next week And Danny's got some

Big stuff going on Woo That was quite the list Oh yeah Well I guess they can't come to New York, but are you going to come to do a spot on the New York show? Of course. Okay, sick.

For those who can do it. If anyone's on the Patreon and it's sold out in New York, hit me up, and I've saved a few spots that I can give people if anyone's in New York for that. Can I also just mention September 20th, Helium Comedy Club, Philadelphia. Come on down to that. That's going to be a good one.

Come on down. And this is a good one to have call them in for, because, well, anyone's Come on down to that. That's going to be a good one. Come on down. And this is a good one to have Colin in for because, well, anyone's a good one to have Colin in for. Yes. Thank you.

However, you and Jimmy, so Jimmy Fallon, there's a big news from Jimmy Fallon. JF, yeah. And then you and him are pretty tight. Yes.

You guys, you've obviously appeared on The Tonight Show. We heard, yeah. Obviously, everyone knows that. That's what people are. I mean, everybody watches The Tonight Show we've heard obviously everyone knows that I mean everybody watches the Tonight Show

people right now are going that's where I know them from where do I know our audience mostly watches the Tonight Show reruns

right now some people have come over to the boys cast because I mean with all this drama we're wondering what's going to

happen with Strike Force 5 this is the first thing luckily they have 18 episodes in the can. Sure. When I heard they said there's a scandal that Fallon might be mean, I was just legitimately sat in my basement.

I was like, don't panic. They're probably still doing Strike Force 5. This is just going to be a glip. Actually, you know what we should say before that? Danny sent me this late last night. But you know how the submarine guy, like the guy that died in the submarine and we were talking to his stepson and all that sort of stuff yes yes anyway this is what someone a bunch of people tagged us in last night yeah because he's wild on twitter audio guy and he

just posted i need an attorney allegedly i got caught up in a prostitution ring setup the wild man you could have just said i need an attorney and then left information to the phone call why did he include the submarine guys also going down yeah you're like twitter's not the best place to source attorneys by the way you can just go call one. I got caught up in a problem. Phone book or the internet. I don't know. Maybe it's not true,

but I'm pretty sure it is. Anyways, I just had to mention that. He's a wild man, yeah. Because we got tagged in it a bunch. All-time biggest bummer. Imagine being the guy who got caught with, like, you know when they do those stings on a brothel or whatever?

You just happen to be one of the... Robert Kraft. Robert Kraft was the OG. Yeah, yeah. He popped out of a rubbin' tub. What are the odds, though? Like, what are the odds it happens to you? happened to be one of the Robert Kraft. Robert Kraft was the OG. He popped out of a rubbin' tub. What are the odds, though? What are the odds that happen to you? Does it get out? I think in New York, there's all this stuff

where they're so sex-friendly or whatever, you know what I mean? That they probably high-five you for doing it. There's other places in the world where, yeah, you're done, bud. I would say your odds if you go how many prostitutions happen and how many you tell me get stung i would say you'd say one in ten thousand yeah is that probably fair so if you go so if you have to go if you go

ten thousand times you're pushing it yeah you're rolling the dice but i think right now like if you got caught like a rub and tug like it would at the most you'd be like yeah okay there's got to be some legal sort of oh i didn't know i thought it was a massage partner yeah there's got to be some sort of i feel like that's what happened in the fresh prince they thought they were just uncle bill hurt his back on thanksgiving and then they just thought they were at a massage place you are right though with that it's like obviously you're gonna say that but i guess these stings a lot of times are happening in, like, hotel rooms. Just a massage in a hotel room.

I mean, if you're going to rub and tug. Like, I do think you have culpable deniability at the tugs. Unless they walk in and tug. Oh, yeah. Or it's like, you know, it's all wired up and they just caught you with the transaction. Yeah, they caught you paying for the extra. Oh, the whole negotiation. Well, honestly, at honestly the end of the day what's the difference between massage and your leg and massage and your penis that's what i've been saying yes to my masseuse it's very

that's what i say on twitter that's what i've been saying to the chiropractor as well an attorney i think this is a good angle you're touching a a part of my body. Like, what are we doing here? It just happens to feel wonderful. That's sort of funny because, like, it does go back to the difference between, we were sort of saying when Strike Force 5, their new podcast came out. Hit new podcast. Their hit new podcast. But the reason it stinks is because you go, you know,

that cock shit doesn't really fly in the podcasting world. Do you know what I mean? Where you're just like, I'm going to be a bitch on every take. There's no takes. I've listened to it. They don't have any takes. It's a fucking, it's worse than no takes. They're all waiting for you.

They're just like sitting there on a Zoom call and they're like, so what have you been getting up to? And Jimmy Fallon's like, or Jimmy Kimmel was like, you know, went fishing and then Stephen Colbert was like, do you ever invite Jimmy Fallon to your fishing? And he goes to and Jimmy Fallon's like or Jimmy Kimball was like you know and went fishing and then Stephen Colbert's like do you ever invite Jimmy Fallon to your fishing and he goes and Jimmy's like no I've never been invited oh it's like guys that haven't seen each other in a while like catching up at a wedding sort of maybe but like but their wives are there too you know what it is that's what it's like it's like guys that haven't seen each other in a while they were never

really that good of friends to begin with they're catching up at a serious situation like a funeral. All their chicks are there and people are paying attention. Yeah, and then they're like, and this is, and they're like, this is brought to you by Casamigos.

It's a very good tequila and they're helping us pay for this. They don't really talk about the writer's strike. At one point, there was a 20-minute story about Stephen Colbert

had a famous man's pair of pants. Okay. And he just talked about how he got the pants. And then Jimmy Kimmel's like, Jimmy Kimmel's like, ah, you know what? When I was a kid,

I saw Sammy Davis Jr. shopping for pants. I'm telling you, this is the show. I'm not even exaggerating. This is the fucking show. These guys, they're not like, oh, they're talking about Joe Biden getting impeached. None of that shit. If these guys don't have writers, they're not like, oh, they're talking about Joe Biden getting impeached. None of that shit. If these guys don't have writers, they are lost.

They are empty vessels just waiting for words to be given to them. They have no, they just sort of, because they're all like, it's a skill. It's like a genuine skill to be that unopinionated or ever. That's true. They're like, if you asked them, Andy, where's your favorite vacation spot? They'd be like they calculate something perfectly

yeah nobody's gonna get mad at them can't say somewhere too expensive can't say somewhere too dumpy yeah yeah

I like going back to my parents house I haven't listened actually I listened to a bit of episode 2 I'm sure it's the number one podcast in the world right now

it's probably the most viewed ever I mean it's hugely famous people there's so much push and then also a big part of the charts is how many people signed up recently you know what i mean so new podcasts always kind of it's funny they don't really i think like they know it's so shit and i think the main deal is that like the money that because the whole point is they're getting money for the writers and i think all that money is like guaranteed from like casamigos so

now they're like really phoning it in like sure there's maybe some auxiliary ad revenue but i don't really think it like if it blows up like i don't think the writers get that much more money so they're like they're not even they're not even promoting it like they're not like it's not like fucking jimmy kimmel's like new episode of strike force five out today like none of that who asked for this who pitched it who came up with this i thought thought they were all enemies anyway. Probably the lowest one of them all. Who are that?

Seth Meyers. Seth Meyers? I thought they all hated each other, right? Sure. I think that's all. I hate to burst his bubble. It's a little wrestling.

Yeah, it's a little kayfabe there. I don't think that's true. I'll tell you another thing. These Democrats and Republicans are buddies behind the scene, too. Like, we're fucking

talking about this. No. No. No. Fucks who CNN hate each other. Donald Trump was at chelsea clinton's wedding aoc and fucking ted cruiser at brunch right now as we speak but the so the funny part was this is sort of the reason i was even saying that was how different it is it was like those are the different things that you get canceled for in that industry you know what i mean like in this thing it's like people get it's like this guy went on an n-word

tirade you know what i mean in that industry it was like this guy's a fucking bit of a jerk to the employees right yeah so i'll just read the thing uh fallon his charm and creativity were on full display and there was bad jimmy days where, according to the former employees, the Tonight Show had a toxic workplace for years. And the staffers joked about wanting to kill themselves regularly. They had crying rooms. The crying rooms are amazing. That's where they would go to let out their emotions. I don't know if it was kind of a joke, but it still does.

So this is Ellen got busted for being mean. Jimmy Fallon got busted for being mean. And by the way, I know he's your buddy. I would say Jimmy Fallon's the best one of those guys. Yeah, probably. Yeah, he's a little bit more flavorful. Well, he just hasn't been that annoying to me. He just laughs too much.

That's all he kind of does. He's just like a goofy guy or whatever. Even talking to him, you're just like, hey. Oh, even when you went in the pre-interview? Yeah, afterwards. That's all he kind of does. He's just like a goofy guy or whatever. Even talking to him, you're just like, hey, and he's kind of like, yeah. Oh, even when you went in the pre-interview? Yeah,

like afterwards, he kind of just like, hey, yeah, and he like, ask a question and he kind of just, just like nothing there.

Interesting. So like, you know, he met my girl too and he was kind of like, oh, hey, good to,

yeah. Like, he wouldn't say like, nice to meet you or anything like that. Sure. Just, oh,

okay. So I feel like he has to mention just like the people are just waddling him around and he's just like yeah he just gets carded out yeah you know he's like doing the hokey pokey with matt damon or something it's like crazy he's just like he's gonna wake up one day just like what was that that was just a whirlwind of that was a weird 20 years. Just a montage of banging the desk and laughing at nothing.

He's so good at it. You're probably in your room just like so nothing and then they're like, go time! It's like Potato Sack with Danny DeVito! We just have to like fucking egg and spoon race with Miley Cyrus. It's like, why? We just have to like of crying there, fellas.

I mean, it makes... Sorry, just hitting up the crying room. You know, just whack it off. Yeah, because Jimmy said that our jokes were bad. Just some guy lying. I'm hitting the crying room and he's just like on his phone

for 20 minutes. Boo! Splash a little water on his face. There's got to be... There's got to be... Was there any genders revealed about obviously

it was not all the well this is the kind of thing that so you 100% right duh that's like a big part of it but you actually do think

there is something to be said about like if you think all the stories about the old late night hosts it was like they were basically like a boss on a construction site yeah

it was just like you're like this guy fucking tore me a new one. But those were all male writers. Yeah. Yes. Yes. It was an industry standard.

Yes. Like, writers weren't women before. So my point is, obviously, it's the girls, you know, kind of created like a more safe environment. But that being said, I also do say, if you are a boss, it is a little bit different tearing a woman a new one yes yeah I mean it's a bullying almost in a way isn't it just with employees if you run a store yeah and you tear and fucking the dude you're like what the fuck you doing you were like oh yeah it's wrong with you like but if you say that to a girl like it is just different you're screaming at some guy you're a more I would never cry yeah because you know what guys are gonna cry a guy might

be like you want a fucking fight or something? But a guy's not going to cry. She starts dangling. Whereas you know that a girl, you're like, if you keep going, she's going to start crying. She starts dangling the crying room, Keith. You know to zip it up.

You're a ding-a-ling-a-ling. Yeah, like Pavlovian's bell. Sorry, sorry. Sorry, sorry. Take it back. Sorry, no. Be as late as you want. No, no, no.

You're right. You're right. Forget about the deadlines I said it is wild though that they started hiring like all these just like different

women writers and stuff and then the shows started to get really bad you know what's that no do you know what's even funnier it's like for economics

this whole chapter it goes it's weird. The moment they hired their first non-binary writer, that's when this massive drop happens. We charted it out in laps for minutes. The ratings just went boop. Like a fucking elevator shaft breaking.

Also, the host got a lot meaner. Yeah, exactly. The host instantly got meaner she's like yeah he used to be a good guy and then all of a sudden no complaints and then i don't know what all of a sudden overnight you just start everyone started complaining about how mean he was wow well you know what's actually even funnier because the truth is like we know a million people that write on these shows right and it's the weirdest mix right now because it really is like cool black guys and like non-binary women like yeah because you know what i mean yeah yeah it really is like every show you how many

times you're like a comedy club and a guy's doing like a you know you know when you be fucking your girl and then he's like yeah this guy's the head writer of seth meyers what the fuck and there's like also the three old white guys that are just like clinging on for dear life three old white guys yeah who are like who've been there forever and they're just like they they have no job prospects after whatever this thing ends uh-huh yeah like nobody's gonna know that's the it's true because those are the guys that like they would let fallon yell at them that's why they're there. They're the guy that Fallon comes in, their hair is blowing back in the wind as he yells at them. There's a wind machine.

Yes, sir, Fallon. They're just taking it. The white guys are gluttons for punishment, man. Just get coffee splashed in their face and stuff. They're like, good aim, Jim. Yeah, I deserve that. Yeah, they're the type of guy that he slaps and he misses. He gives himself one.

My bad. I shouldn't have been so hard to hit, James. Yeah, you're right. They love it. Meanwhile, all these girls. He said good job He didn't say great job I mean running one of those

Shows as much as You know we talk shit about it It's like would be crazy hard Like you're doing a fucking hour and a half a day You got a million people So yeah you can imagine how hard it would be They talked about it Guess how many employees the Tonight Show has Total 30 an hour and a half a day. You got a million people. So yeah, you can imagine how hard it would be. They talked about it.

There's, guess how many employees the Tonight Show has total? 30? 40? 60? 302. Wow. What the fuck?

Well, they have the crying room janitor. The pillow supplier. Dude. They have over 300 people that are required to crank out an episode of the Tonight Show. So much real estate caught up in crying rooms. They're not all like that. required to crank out an episode of The Tonight Show.

So much real estate caught up in crying rooms. They're not all like that. I can't remember. I think Seth Meyers said he was in the 80s or something, or John Oliver or something. Okay, well, I take it back then. 300 people. It's been going for years, and it is a well-oiled machine. You get in there, everyone's running around like the man in the Titanic.

Yeah, because they're all pretending to work. There's 300 of them. That's fair. Yeah, they're all like, this is what we need to be running around all busybodies, because otherwise people are going to be like, what do you do? It's probably hard for Fallon to get a yell into all of them, you know what I mean? He doesn't even know who to yell. Who's like, who are you?

Does this guy work here? Yeah. You're fucking up. I can't even imagine him yelling. I can't even imagine that coming out of him it probably like wasn't that crazy i don't think it's just like he's probably like it wasn't that and again he's the face of the whole thing so yeah you know like some writer can just like mail in a bunch of shitty jokes all week yeah it's like they're not really affected they're probably like if it's some non-binary chick they can't even fire them so then you're like it's's just him who just looks bad.

Well, changing someone, like getting someone on board of like a comedy vision is really hard. And you probably doesn't have a lot of time for essentially training. So I guess you get to the point where you're like, maybe if I yell, that'll help or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because they're on a deadline.

They're rehearsing during the day. They're trying to get you to fix things. And then they keep messing up. I watched the rehearsal. It was, by the way, when I was there for the show, one of the best environments of all time. Everyone that went with me, too. From the second you walk into the end,

we watched the whole rehearsals. We were hanging out, doing all this. It was like the nicest place ever. It seemed like an incredible place to work. We were like, this is awesome. It was so much fun. Food trays, all that stuff. Maybe they hide the criers in the back, but where was seemed great yeah 17 employees too i mean you know what else

is true while they were there like that's the other thing with these kind of jobs like they're so hard to get and there isn't that many of them right so like while they're there there's probably a little bit of like holy shit like now that they're you know not working there or whatever they have time to think and you know what i working there or whatever, they have time to think. You know what I mean? And that's when you have time to stew. And this is the like, your boyfriend went on like a trip

after a week, two weeks. Now he's been gone for four months. You're like, kind of, he's a piece of shit if you think about it. You know what I mean?

They're so removed from the whole thing. Yeah, that is so weird that they come out while they're on strike. They're like, the show's not on. And they're like, you know what, we should do a fucking hit piece to maybe make sure that the show doesn't come back on our boss that's all she does that journalist by the way

that's all she does is hit pieces that's like her type of journalism that's the worst type of journalism stupid hit pieces but i think everyone agreed though as long as there's no like physical or sexual uh assault harassment no one really cares It's like you're allowed to be mean. No one's saying he's not. What the fuck? Do your job better. I don't know why. Yeah, yeah.

Like, who cares? Well, I mean, also, it's like, you sort of, it's up to, you're just trying different things, probably, as a boss. Because a lot of times, you're like,

okay, you do want to have like a fun environment. So maybe if you're mean too much and it makes it less fun, you kind of, now you tweak it the other way. Yeah. And then I,

usually being mean is like a last string. Like as anyone who's probably running any sort of like comedy production, if you're like yelling at people, that's because you're like, I don't know what else

to fucking try. Yeah. This isn't working. For sure. Like on a construction site, you're probably more like, okay, that's what, when you've worked

on a construction site, right? Was there crying booths or how did that work? There was fist fights. There was fist fights regularly in construction and then you would just go back to work. No one would be suspended. It was kind of like a toxic environment.

That was a proper toxic environment where they would be screaming at you. I remember... Probably what Carson was like. Probably what the writer's room and Johnny Carson was like. They just all fucking... Yeah, you just get used to it. You're more...

Screaming at each other is just like... It's part of the industry. Yeah. Kitchen's gonna... I like that too, right? My big man puts a cigar out on your arm or something and then you go back to work. Well, that's what...

Now, obviously, there is a bit of like... You can get clout by writing the article about it, but I don't know if any of these people are getting any buzz off of being one of 17. Probably the first person was like, I'm gonna be the guy that's like, you know you know the kurt always called the ellen one nice gate but someone was like i'll be the first person you know the face of this story that takes down jimmy kimmel and then they they're like no you're one of 17 and they're like did they actually i put my fucking

name out there on the line were their names actually i think they went anonymous didn't even get a photo of me in the thing that's the thing they're not that they know their real worth because they would never actually put their names on it because they know like oh there's no i'm not gonna level up here because doing this where sometimes you might like yes well they want to know something interesting and so i've read this uh this article with recently because they were basically doing a netflix doc on louis ck right and it was going to be you know how there was basically kind of these like full expose docs coming out on netflix quite a bit right and the one on louis all of the people that were like really publicly against him when it was like help them all of them declined so they basically said they had this doc and it

like just premiered at a film festival or whatever and there was supposed to be like 25 you know i don't know probably names we all know you know what i mean the only one that was in it was like jen kirkman and then there was like a bunch of people we know that were going to be like the face of this dog but it took two years to cook louis got it back in the mix it's not really going to help your career he's not dying he's not oh yeah he's don carl leone yeah he's six feet under don carl leone got shot and then we all thought we were celebrating and he lived and we're like no

I love Don Carleone what do you mean we gotta have a sit down he's the best Don and you're the guy that was gonna be the face of like this new takedown

that you know is not gonna be a kill shot no that's rich the guy that's gonna be the face of this sure but it was interesting because they all basically like

backed out which if obviously this point's been made but it does show that people only want to do it when it's beneficial career-wise yeah yeah do you think that do you think that jimmy fallon uh out of protest he imagine he just goes if people want mean jimmy i'll give you mean jimmy just stops laughing he's just sitting on the couch while jennifer aniston's like yeah and then i couldn't even find the roomba and he goes that's interesting he just goes full heel turn his monologue he just reads jokes that really sucked well apparently he wrote that he did one and then they this is one of the things they were trying to kill him on is they basically said that um there was an awkward moment where he said one of the jokes were bad or something and seinfeld was there and he

goes hey take that back you're right i wrote that don't say that or whatever right and they go even jerry seinfeld was on his side and then and then in the article it goes we reached out to seinfeld for a comment he goes he goes are you guys are you guys serious this This is ridiculous. Like, literally, he was joking and I was joking. And they included Seinfeld. Seinfeld is not having... He's pretty, like, based. Seinfeld, like, doesn't have this shit. They go, yeah, and you defended the writers.

He goes, no, that's not what happened. We were both making a joke. Idiots. It's a comedy show. What's wrong with you people? These shows are going to be gone for probably six months. When was the last time there was an episode of any of these? Months.

Honestly, I didn't. It's been months, right? It could be years. It could be just the last time you were there. Who's watching? Whatever. But they're going to be gone for a year, ten months, and they're going to be like, we're back now,

and people are going to, I don't know, there's some just drooling lobotomized fucking subsection of the population who's like, welcome back. I can't believe that their audience will return. Do you think there's any dudes that like know that that's how they shut their wife up? Like, and she's like, and another thing he goes, oh, look, and then they go, oh, potato sack.

Yeah. Yeah. It's like a mirror for a bird type of thing yeah uh but i ask a lot of people like because i talk about doing the show on stage a lot and i ask people in the audience who saw the show like live not just because they follow me on social media and i think in the in the year i've met two people maybe maybe i was only one actually that i've watched she was like i was genuinely watching The Tonight Show because I like it. And then you came on.

And that's how I discovered you. And I was like, you are fucking wild. Interesting. Every night, this person watches The Tonight Show. And then I happen to be on it. How old is she? 40s, probably. Good question.

Yeah. Yeah. That guest kind of checks out. I could see six wild some people like it genuinely just people out there like this i mean if you're like in your 60s and you're like you know i've been watching it forever since it was johnny carson and you know it probably it did make sense at one point to watch it but i mean yeah the colbert no options when they all when kimmel and colbert got so political though it's like if you're gonna watch the like political

takedown comedy show like you'd probably just want to watch The Daily Show and then eventually just be like let's just watch CNN yeah why don't you just cut out the fucking middleman you know what I mean at least there's no bad jokes on CNN they just don't do any jokes yeah it shouldn't be political it's either goofy it's dribble or it's it's not so you can't have both you know what I mean you can't be like have an interview with elmo and then also afterwards start talking about with like youtube it just seems insane that if you're like your favorite actor is like you're like i love i don't know whatever fucking kate mara or whatever the fuck and you're like she's doing an interview you're like i'll just watch

it tomorrow on youtube instead of staying up till 1230 on like a weeknight to watch this interview. It's also sad that sometimes you see these people like Miles Teller goes on the show and then they make him make a sandwich

or something. Whatever they make him do because he's promoting a blockbuster movie and you go that's what happened when I was there and I was like

is this it's like scary but like you never get out. Even Miles is here. The hottest, biggest actor in the world, arguably, right now. The hottest shit. And then he's there doing some goofy stuff.

You can't get out of it. You still have to show up and do the pickle dripping competition. There must be some people like Leonardo DiCaprio. I'm not doing that. I'm done with that. Seinfeld. Seinfeld's awesome. I think he was just like's just like, I'm not doing that. I'm done with that. Seinfeld? Seinfeld's awesome. I think he was just like,

he said, I'm not doing movies even. Dude, that's it. I don't know. It seems like it's sad. They can't even get out of the machine. Boys, DraftKings Rainmakers football is back for its second season and it's bigger and better than ever before.

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So it was kind of just interesting to watch the amount of celebrities. Really, comedians and all those people, their takedowns don't seem to work anymore because none of their fans care so that's why it's like the big one now was this week was like jimmy fallon's got to be taken down peg uh austin kutcher and mila kunis are getting fucking murdered which do either of you guys kind of know the danny masterson stuff very well i read into it a little bit yeah okay what's going on because so basically these women i'll tell you can i just say that because like because i'm just looking in a lot of people are like scientology like really got behind his back and they were sort of you know silenced and like this is we're turning the tap off on this story yeah we're you know straight up like what they would say is like like, intimidation tactics to victims.

Like, for real? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then some people are still of the mind that, like, yo, this is kind of, it didn't happen. It's all, like, an overblown conspiracy. Okay, so what is your actual? I don't, like, so I didn't go super, super deep into it, but I read, like, a bunch of stuff from, so basically they're saying he drugged all these women and like raped them in like the early 2000s which is weird just because he was like everybody said he was the most anti-drug guy oh like he was literally every person who on that 70s show was like his whole deal was that he's like i'm against drugs like don't do drugs it's weird to be on a 70s

show with that attitude but he's like he's like because he was the older one i guess the oldest one of all them and he's like if you do drugs like we're not friends what yeah like and literally he's like i'm not i don't i'm not friends with people who do drugs so all the people on that show that part of it so all the people on that show the only person who didn't write him a letter i guess was like tofer grace or whatever but who's that one he was eric eric foreman okay he didn't he didn't so fez wrote him a letter uh he's a big star of NCIS right now. Maybe Fez didn't write him a letter either, actually. I don't know. Maybe he did.

I'm not sure about Fez. But I think Fez did. I think Fez was on the list. But Red and Kitty. Fez isn't getting killed. It's only the other ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, them specifically, because they run an anti-sex trafficking thing or whatever.

They're like, with Palantir. Yeah, yeah, whatever. Yeah, that's their whole thing, right? thing or whatever they're like with palantir yeah yeah whatever yeah that's their whole thing right so anyways but there were there was a letter from this woman there's one of the like whatever alleged victims like it is crazy because one of the victims was her i can't remember what the band is but she's like married to some guy in a band and then she basically he like told her that in you know 15 years later like she was explaining like i was dating danny masterson and then he's like and then the husband was like yeah he raped you like and she didn't know for 15 like one of those deals

but then there was one chick who like in 2004 wanted so it wasn't like meat and potatoes holding you down no well there's like drugging them but then there was one in like 2004 but there was this one in 2004 where like and that one you're like i don't know and then there was this one in 2004 where this woman was like basically sent a letter to the church of scientology so she must have been in it being like i'd like to press charges but they're threatening to like um uh basically like they're threatening to like you know cut her off from all her friends and family scientology is powerful yeah so i don't know i it's probably some sort of gray area where some of it's not some of it is i don't of it is. I don't know. It's hard.

The question is, I'd love to see one of those letters, man. I was even thinking about it. I was going to maybe do like a fake letter. It's like, you don't understand. D-Mast is the man, dude. He used to get us the bomb. It's chronic. Yeah.

Well, they've been getting all the old videos together. It's like, you forget what that era was like, dude. It was like, it was the two of them. And there'd be like some girl that's 16 and be like, we're counting down the days till this bitch turns 18. Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo. And this is like on MTV Music Awards. But I also think people don't even get the joke of that. That was like a joke.

It was like, yeah, can't wait for the twins to be 18. You know, it's like, and then what? Nothing's going to happen. Of course. We're playing a joke. Yeah, yeah., and then what? Nothing's gonna happen. Of course. We're playing a joke. This is prior to OnlyFans too. Yeah, yeah. We were having fun.

We were like, well, I'm not gonna fuck a celebrity. I'm joking. But you think I'm actually gonna... Well, Ashton Kutcher could have fucked a celebrity. Yeah, well, yeah, whatever.

I'm sure they are. No, but I know what you mean. If he waited till 18, that was good back then. Are you kidding me? It was a different era. The towers were still he waited until 18, that was good back then. Are you kidding me? It was a different era. The towers were still up. You could do whatever you want back then.

It's true. Yeah, you go, I'll wait until she's 18 and be like, and then I'll jerk off to her for real. I'll finish. Without guilt. Yeah, yeah. Then I'll jerk it off to an 18-year-old. Then you'll see

but you should do a character letter for your friends though right like they're your friends yeah that's a weird thing he's not even saying they're not your friends and there's that was my thing is like yeah they're not saying they're not guilty it's your friends there's no physical evidence of anything it's literally just like and again he's already guilty at this point so all you're really asking for is like hey maybe they can like go to jail for 15 years instead of like 30 years. Yeah. Like it's not, you're not getting a lot.

And the funniest part is they're doing these apologies. It's kind of weird that the letters like are, that that's how it works. The judge is like, if a bunch of your boys write a letter saying you're sick, then I'll fuck you. Yeah. Well, I guess they just do it and they're like hope it helps

it's like American Idol where you gotta have a story to win one crazy thing in the cause you know they do like victim impact statements or whatever

where they go the other way at the sentencing they bring all the victims in to be like this is how you like harmed me or whatever and one of the girls

who said that he raped her or whatever and then he was found not guilty on that one. They still let her come give a victim impact. That's weird. I guess. Isn't that pretty fucked up?

That's the ex-girlfriend, right? I think so, yeah. But did you hear what she said about Ashton Kutcher and the murder? No. Murder? You didn't hear about the murder? I'm telling you, there's a murder. The people on the internet think Ashton Kutcher might have murdered a girl.

I believe that. Come on. Shit like that happens. It happens. This is literally what happened, right? In the early 2000s, he had a date with this girl. He went over to her house to meet her. She didn't answer her phone.

She didn't answer the door. And he was like, I don't know. He tried to get into the house because the door wasn't open. So he went home, rang her, never heard back. Next day, shows up on the news that she was murdered. And then he rang Danny Madison and he was like,

I'm worried that my fingerprints are on the door. I'm going to be accused of the murder or something like that. And the two of them talked on the phone. And I think he went to the cops

with his lawyers and was like, explain the law. But that girl said, Ashton, you better watch your mouth. I know the truth. I heard the real stuff while you said to Danny on the phone.

So now everyone's thinking, oh, Ashton lied about the door handle and all that stuff. I saw that, but that's what they were talking about. They think he might have came in, found a dead body even, and went, I'm not dealing with this stuff, and got the hell out. Yeah. He probably thought he was being punked. He probably thought he was being punked. He goes, wake up. This is up this is ketchup oh real knife up there you trying to get me in my own game looking for the cameras come on guys i know it looks

pretty decapitated sure that's crazy yeah i mean that would be a bummer if you fucking i think he killed her yeah i think i think so yeah i mean that would be a bummer if you fucking I think he killed her yeah I think so yeah I mean that was like one of the biggest shows of the time too

so you're probably like if you're him you're like let Ashley Kutcher kill someone butterfly effect sucks he goes what the fuck

what the fuck that dude dude where's my car I was a bit juvenile really you just couldn't find the car the stiff meister would hear that

two hours stiff meister's ears would be burning for sure. He was in Canada filming the hockey movie at the time, Goon. He's taking off his skates. He goes, my ears are fucking burning, man. No one talks shit. Someone disrespecting the dude.

Asher Kutcher's not a Scientologist though, is he? They all sort of are. I don't know who is, but there's a lot. Way more than you think, dude. That's what always struck me with la because it just seemed like if you're on the internet you're kind of like oh it's this silly thing that people seem to like make fun of but you never actually meet one or whatever kind of the same thing i said about jews to be honest it's like i knew one like you kind of like you know one and

he's not even really one you know what i mean yeah yeah yeah and then you come to toronto and you're like oh they're like everywhere everywhere. They're everywhere. Yeah, yeah. But the same with Scientology. You hear about it and you're like, what? Okay. Yeah, it's this funny, oh, this space thing. And you hear South Park making fun of it. Then you go to LA. They have a temple on every fucking corner.

And now every turn around, it's like... The massive Scientology temple. It's like the Hyatt. It's everywhere you turn. It's a huge thing. And you go, oh. It's like the real deal. When they came to Ireland,

I was thinking of going in just for fun. I was like, I'm going to go in, document it. It'll be fun. I'm like, fuck with them or whatever. And my friend was like, just read into it for us. And I read into it. And I was like, I'm afraid they might get me. I'm not going in like pranking them,

coming out with a book, spreading the word immediately. They made some good points in there. They made some good points. Well, if you actually, I remember there there was someone some girl that i was like dating a bit had like pamphlets that she said were someone just gave to her to on the street which is i think was true but yeah they used to on young street yeah yeah so she was like took it to be funny or whatever right but i was reading the pamphlet it's very much uh the equivalent of like the pamphlet you'd probably get for like hustler's university yeah like it's very like hey do you want to be rich like are you trying to get your life together

like are you in a rut you know what i mean like do you know how you want to learn how to drop ship it's like that kind of shit man it's like rise and grind type shit yeah yeah and that's how they get you in on some tony robbins kind of uh get life together shit. What's going on? Are we good? Oh, yeah, you're just pushing on. But yeah, they try to get you in on some Tony Robbins type shit, and then I think they sell you. It's like, yeah, obviously, rising and grind is all bullshit,

but if you want the real deal, it's like, yeah, yeah, we'll get 100 grand a year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's a pyramid scam, sort of. Yeah. Yeah. And they all do the same neuro neuro linguistic programming style things just to sort of get your feeling which is what well i think it's like a bot it's like

making you do affirmations and and uh but like weird body language stuff right i guess i don't really know it's all the nicks like the same way the nixxiom stuff was just doing that so okay so it's got that sort of vibe yeah yeah yeah you talk about all the stuff you want and then you like you blame all the uh bad things in your life for the for not believing in the right things and then it kind of gets you sort of yeah you know what's funny i read a study that i think i might even send to you but it basically said that um people who believe fuck i'll find it but it's like it was not affirmations more likely to go bankrupt people who manifest more likely yeah people who you know like girls manifesting yeah

i mean i guess it's guys too but it's yeah pretty crazy so vision board type stuff people who have vision board and essentially uh aspirational thoughts ideas cosmically attract success and there's a lot of people pushing this and they did a study on a ton of people and the the people that are you know manifesting their dreams were 40 percent more likely to go bankrupt yeah which makes total sense because you would never take any negative feedback as like yeah the feedback you'd be like oh this is just a roadblock oh i just got to double down yeah you know i just got to keep going like because obviously like all this is just part of the thing and then yeah well even uh whaty always posts, he was like, just remember when things get really, really tough,

this is when most people quit. Just remember when you've been an open mic-er for 15 years. That's what I mean. That this is the part where people quit. If you keep going, you can be an open mic-er for 25 years. Yeah, you're right. Zero prospects and your whole life thrown away well they never show the other side of it where it's like yeah and this

is where most people mostly quit and that guy has like a normal job and a family now and he actually is the best decision he ever made yeah i was actually you know it's so funny just i went down some route like when i got home last night i got home really late. I don't know why, but YouTube showed me a Club 54 comedy clip. You love Club 54. I love comedy on Club 54. Shout out. But then it was... What was it?

It was some guy. I'd never heard of some guy. He was on... And then for whatever reason, I just tried it. He had a weird name, and I decided to Google him. You get down weird rabbit holes when you get left to your own devices. I do. I do.

I don't know. I was just tired or whatever and then uh right before i put the bed and then i like i googled him and then he's like managing partner at some like giant hedge fund in new york city and it says like he's linkedin's like former stand-up comic and he like wasn't a great comic but he was like a comedy club and like he's the classic guy who's like yeah this is bullshit this is so stupid i'm gonna go be like a fucking gajillionaire in your city yeah loads of those guys where they just one day they look around and go and then you just next thing you hear a millionaire somewhere that happens all the time but he was like on this like show that was like this syndicated tv show in the mid 90s yeah comedy show and then it was he obviously was like yeah

that's crazy well i always talk kind of it is an interesting thing with like anything you know whatever influencer comedian whatever musician whatever it is it's kind of the only thing where you go if your number if you're the thousandth best in the world you probably made 30 grand that year where it's like if you're the thousandth best doctor you made 500 grand yeah do you know what i mean or the thousandth best lawyer like any other job that's insurance not even insurance if you're the if you're the 2000th best insurance person you're very rich if you're the 2000s best comedian it's like you're you're like you might not be able to buy food this week it's it's insane that the level of like how easily

for me right to like I could pretty easily reach out to people like Bill Burr Louis CK the best people

in the world Shane or whoever whoever's the biggest and best comedians in the world but like you can never but I'm so like

poor and unsuccessful it's insane for them to be like for me to be able to the chasm is massive yeah but the wealth is wild. The equivalent of music, I could never just reach out to Beyonce or Rihanna.

There's no connection there because the gap is wide. Comedy's weird just because Louis C.K. might go do a bar show. He might just hit you up on a Tuesday and be like, hey, can I just do a spot at your show? Yeah, you work at the same places. You'd be able to... Yeah, it's the same as like you'd be able to work...

You'd be able to reach out to, you know, the top lawyer if you worked at that law firm. Yeah. Which is kind of... Well, I know, but law in general.

Yeah, law in general. Yeah, I know it's true, yeah, because comedy's just a weird one in that respect, because... Well, you can all be sitting at the same table and it's so jarring.

And you could be doing it for two years and be sitting at the same table with the best comedian in the world for whatever reason. Sure, and you're so and you could be doing it for two years and be sitting at the same table with the best comedian in the world for whatever reason sure and you're terrible

and you'll never achieve anything but you're right beside him and you're friends with him yeah Carmen has a okay well I have one more weird Hollywood story in the thing

before there's something else but I already did a video about this but Ethan Hawke basically is doing he's like directing movies right

and his daughter's in the movie and they have like a graphic sex scene and he's directing the sex scenes and it was just like this is the kind of shit i think especially right now people are like what are these hollywood freaks up to and it was like i i get it it's already it's already weird when people will be like i'll direct my like wife or whatever but directing your daughter like legitimately directing sitting there while your daughter's like fucking a guy and they're basically both naked with whatever the fate you know they put a little sock on the dick they basically do the red hot chili peppers for the sex scenes so that's essentially what they do and then you have to be kind of like yeah get in

there harder you know it's just like all your pumps can I get more pumps choker choker yeah that's what yeah give a pull those pigtails he goes attaboy there you go he's massaging

the guy's shoulders behind him call him daddy call him daddy but I guess in their world acting is acting so

you couldn't say I'm not going to direct this one scene though I think that's what you do I think if you're doing directing, and if you're the girl,

you just be like, I don't want dad here for this one. You go, I have a pinch director for the one scene in the movie that's the sex scene.

I would do it, just be so normal. You go, yeah, I'm directing the thing. You go, there's this one scene where there's like

graphic sex with a dude. You go, you know what, I'll sit that one out because it's my daughter. Yeah, I guess, but I guess in their world,

it's acting. That's like bitching out though, probably. That's like if you have a joke, like a black joke, and then there's a black person in the audience,

and then you go like, just skip that tonight. Nobody's going to know that I skipped that. Well, think about that. Okay, if you're like the best prostitute in the world,

you're like, but your brother wants a taste, and you go, I am the best. His money's green, isn't it? Is his money not green? I'm sorry. Is money

no good here? Yeah, I guess, but are actors allowed not to do gay scenes? Or is that considered like you're a pussy? I mean, you're already doing a scene. I mean, you're signing it like you read a script. I'm sure there's people who have been like, yeah, you got to do all this gay shit.

And they're like, no, I don't want to do that. When they send them the script, they leave that scene out. And they go, we added a couple of scenes. Your sides are in your trailer. Turns out the entire arc is that you're in the closet. And then you're doing some hardcore gay sex. And you go, what? Actually, you know what?

OK, on the topic of gay stuff. Check out Column Special on YouTube right now. Check out Column Special on on youtube so there is actually like there is two different things i call him has a lot of experience in this actually because he used to sell goods at the gay bar right yes yeah you're talking about last night but wait that's not a he used to sell he used to sell goods i wasn't at a gay bar. I wasn't blowing bears for money. I was literally selling toys.

He worked for a charity. I worked for a fake charity kind of a thing. And then he used to say these gay guys are suckers, basically. Yeah, gay guys. You know, remember when we used to do Imperial and the guy used to come with the flowers and bother everyone? Call him to that. Yeah, I'm like one of those Africans selling roses at a bar that's what this guy was yeah so that's what

i i would go around with these little like teddy bear sticker things you could stick them on things and it was for like an animal shelter oh okay and i but the animal but the money never went to the shelter i think everyone skimmed so much by the time it got to people because i got 30 and then the guy who was like in charge of me got 30%. I'm sure the guy in charge of me So it's like five cents.

By the end of it, yeah. It's like five cents went to it. Also, I didn't give them all the money. There's so many scams like that. I remember I knew this girl back home or whatever and you don't see them

that much here but they're everywhere in Canada but those boxes where you donate your clothes or whatever and for the longest time it's like donate your clothes for whatever. And for the longest time, it was like,

donate your clothes for charity. And that's what everyone thought. And this is in the 90s. And she's like, yeah, so the deal with these is everybody thought it's just like, it's a charity that's running it. And she's like, no, it's like, this is my dad's company. He's rich. And they just, you drop all your clothes off. Then they sell all the clothes and they just give

5% of it to charity. But you think you're just donating your clothes to homeless people yeah some homeless guys yeah you're like oh and it's like no it's like you're just giving your clothes to this guy who then sells them all and gives five percent of the money a vintage dealer yeah essentially and they're like and those box yeah and those they sell them by weight or whatever and like but you and they process them and all that stuff but yeah that's interesting forever i thought you're like yeah i would have thought that for sure this just goes to homeless people, you're like, yeah, I would have thought that for sure. This just goes to homeless people.

And you're like, no, not at all. All charity is overrepresented. I used to have, my scam that I had when I was like 12 is we had a buddy's dad who used to get like, he worked at some gum place and they used to just get

massive amounts of gum. He had a whole garage full of gum, right? Like chewing gum. Chewing gum. So we'd steal the slabs, put on fucking Letterman's, the hockey of a hockey team, and we'd go door to door

selling the gum for the hockey team. Oh, yeah. And we were making a, we were doing all right, dude. We were like, you know, 12-year-olds pulling like 50 bucks.

Back when 50 bucks was 50 bucks. I did the same thing. I remember we used to do like charity things with school and you'd raise money for like starving Africans and I remember one year. Well, charity things with school and you'd raise money for like starving Africans

and I remember one year... Mine was... Mine was you're faking a hockey team. No, no, no. Mine was... Call them taking food out of the mouth.

Whatever. These are real starving Africans. You think the teacher wasn't taking something off the top? Teachers on the dick? Yeah, yeah. He was skimming.

Why do you think they're still starving, dude? Teacher's eating good. There's no money in ending starvation. Has anyone noticed that these kids are still hung? I used to talk about that on stage a bit, but especially when all the new problems started, like, hey, we need more Asians in Hollywood or whatever,

it'll be like, you know, James Bond's got to be retarded or whatever. And then it'll be like and then the Asian like the African kids are like hey they never really our thing didn't get solved yeah yeah they sort of just

moved on you never hear about that you never see like the whole like the kid with the flies on him and stuff like all those commercials they kind of just

stopped that they just stopped making the commercials they're bumming us out but oh well the thing is you know Live Aid, right? Bono and Bob Geldof, they put together Live Aid.

Yeah, yeah, I remember Live Aid. Yeah, huge concert. I went to one of them. Yeah, great. And they got all these celebrities, and then they sent all this money to Africa. And then it turns out that one of the countries that they sent it to, which was, I believe, Uganda,

the guy was a dictator that people didn't realize. And they just pretty much funded his military. Funded machetes for an eight-year-old? They funded his military campaign to just destroy. So there was an argument that they actually killed more people than ever helped because they gave all the money to an evil dictator in Africa. Whoops. He said he was cool.

I don't know. Was it Kony? I don't know which Was it Coney? I don't know which one it is. I think Mugabe is. I think it was the guy. Remember the Last King of Scotland? Do you remember that movie?

Oh, Idi Amin. It might have been that guy. It might have been. I don't know. I don't know my African geography very well. Yeah, but if I'm wrong, let me know because I think that's a fun story. That's crazy. Yeah, thank you.

I mean, there's always kind of exposés that, like, hey, this charity, like, a dollar went to the people. Yeah, yeah. The people are getting, the people are eating, yeah. Go into the head office of any charity in the world. They have a fucking chandelier worth more than your house. Dude, that's the cliche of the Hollywood executive. That's what you walk into the, like, starving African charity. The guy's playing golf into a cup.

He doesn't even look up. You go into like concern. It's almost like going into Google. There's a bar. There's a free bar. He comes down the slide. He's richy rich. Kind bar.

Yeah. Like Scrooge McDuck in a pool of coins. He just flicks one nickel into a charity thing and goes, technically we're a charity. Doing it for years, my friend. Yeah, it's so funny. You're going to meet him. You're going to roll in on a fucking souped up golf cart. He's on a Segway riding around the office.

That's why I like about starving African kids. I keep getting older and they keep starving. I keep getting richer and they keep getting hungrier. And they stay the same hungriness. Like, yeah, has a disease ever been cured? Has a disease ever been cured? And then there's just a guy that gets the news. I guess you have to find

a new disease yeah there's always racism that's the new disease i'm gonna make a wish but that's why they like racism it's like uncurable it's an uncurable disease it can't be cured it's just inherently in our dna those charities are that's the funniest shit yeah they are so basically actually you know what Alton you were right before we started

you were telling me because we were saying if you know who will share your special or not but what were you saying about your grandmother

because it's like the funniest shit she won't share your special she's from death from hell no his grandma's like the like just the classic Irish lady Won't you have your special? It's from debt. It's from hell. No, his grandma's like the class, like just the classic Irish lady that like never forgets a debt.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. So what was my aunt? Oh, it's your aunt. So she has like a ledger's book for like weddings and Christmas and things like that.

She writes down exactly what people give her or her daughters and stuff like that. So that down exactly what people give her or her daughters and stuff like that so that she can so when the daughters no so when yeah so if if they if her daughter got married and then you gave a gift they say two hundred dollars she writes down the two hundred dollars so that when you get married she gets two hundred back she wants to make sure it's level right so what if it's a what if it's a physical gift not um i guess you just use signs of value but like she is literally like is she going online

and like finding out like what's the value? Yeah, I guess I never asked that much about it but I'm sure she is, yeah. I'm sure they're figuring out. I don't think anyone's given a physical gift.

Does she adjust for inflation? I think so. She should. I hope she does do that every four years. Appreciating that asset. Oh, whatever. Like that thing

costs way more money. Yeah, it's like she has to balance the books yeah for sure like if someone gave 200 for a wedding and then they get married

15 years later and then she's like I know give them 200 yeah you know out of date money we don't even use pounds anymore

even Steven even Steven you gave me 200 I gave you 200 yeah but we were saying we should do it with the, because my special came out.

It's on YouTube right now. Go check it out. It was like for people not sharing my special. I was like, oh, I should have had a little ledger for every time they release this. Because I shared a lot of specials there. They're not sharing mine. And now I want to come back and go,

hey, remember last year I shared this guy's special? I was lying. It stinks. You should release the ledger. It should be a public ledger. Oh, that should be true, actually. I've nothing to hide. Release the tapes.

But at Grindr, speaking of a workplace that must be wild, but Grindr basically said that everyone has to come back to work. And basically, half of the staff quit and then they're kind of coming out saying like jimmy fallon like the bad working conditions but and it's like a lot of articles being like you know expose on the bad working conditions which are that they have to come into work two days a week we were promised that we never had to come back to work and now

we do yeah so they're that you know I don't know what well what percentage of people at grinded you think are gay I don't know I would bet like not like I don't I wouldn't think it's like Drake I we're gonna grind or seems strange I don't know I don't I would I can't imagine anyone doing that yeah applying what do you think is like this is a big gay Playboy Mansion type of yeah it's like working big gay playboy mansion type of scenario? Yeah, it's just like an office. It's just a regular job. It's like working for Grubhub. I picture you're just looking at-

You're just coding and stuff. I don't know what the jobs are, but I think you're just doing like dick pic fucking shit. It's like a firehouse. I mean, I'm sure though, like hopefully the trust and safety team, everybody dance now. As you walk in, you're exhausted. You're like, oh my God. All day. It's so gay.

This is what I picture. Yeah. Like, for example, they have like a, you know, like, in, you're exhausted. You're like, oh my God. All day. It's so gay. This is what I picture. Yeah. Like, for example, they have like a, you know, like, hey, pass the report. And they pass it through glory holes. Like everything. You walk into the canteen or the kitchen just to get coffee. People are just sucking. And you're like, can I just get, sorry.

No, the coffee comes out of a dildo. Like a big hamster tank? You have to get your coffee out of the dildo. I work at Grindr. There's just a sad, straight guy at Grindr. He's just exhausted. I work at Grindr. My laptop's pink and glittery.

Hey, we're going to be doing a team meeting in the foam room. Steam room. Yeah. He goes, yeah, it's where Stilettos to work day. He's walking around clanking in his high heels. Oh, I hate this job. I don't think it was that many. I wouldn't guess.

It must be insane. I think it's probably a lot of girls, but the percentage of guys. And I mean, part of this was like, okay, I think that this is kind of where I was getting at. If you say like, you have to come to work and everyone quits, that seems like gay guys are a bit more prima donna-y, right? I mean, do they have other jobs? Is that a wild statement? Go to the office?

No way. I mean, people, I assume they need to work, though. Like, do they have another job lined up? Or is it like they move? Yeah, cleaner at the movie theater. Did they move during COVID and they're just like, well, I'm not moving back to New York or whatever? That's happening a lot now people are trying well actually where's the head office is it in san francisco because that probably will be answered one day is almost worse like sometimes like a lot of these countries a lot of these companies are like oh we're bringing

everyone back in for at least one day a week which is almost more annoying because you're like now i'm just like in new york for six days a week where I don't need to be when I could be living somewhere cheap you know yeah but if you're gonna live like an hour away if you only have to do that

commute once or twice a week it's like not that crazy it's in West Hollywood so a pretty gay area so maybe more gays there maybe I don't know I was

I think that they've gotta have like a pretty gay vibe there I don't know am I crazy is this out of control like to say i i feel like it's just like any regular corporate i think it's a dream job for a gay guy maybe a lot

of benefits benefit in kind like they give you like boosts or whatever condoms everywhere i assume but yeah but anyways more importantly well kind of why i brought it up is they had um they so this dude had there was basically like uh two dudes they were in a gay uh couple and uh as you will okay dad two dudes that were in a uh they were in a gay couple a gay couple doing gay things and then they broke up and then the guy as like uh like a fuck you to his ex he's been sending dudes kind of what you'd think is like a you'd be like imagine someone did this they sent he goes on grinder puts the guy's profile and address and stuff there and he's been sending dudes to the guy's house being like i have like a

hey just come in don't even knock like just immediately start having sex with me and he sent a thousand over a thousand dudes to the guy's house to his work so he just has like 15 dudes a day coming into this guy's house yeah which also shows you how easy it is for dudes to pick up the you're not even trying that hard and you got 15 coming over to bed yeah the best part is he said to he's like i might try and like put up a fight or anything just don't pay any mind to it that's part part of the... Part of my rape fantasy? That's like the funniest part is he goes, yeah, yeah, yeah,

like if I put up a fight or whatever, like that's just like me liking it, don't worry about it. Yeah, if I act confused and tell you to get out... Yeah, like who are you?

That's just like all part of it and the gay guys are like, all right, that's not checked out. You also got to be like the guy, after he fucked the fifth guy, was like,

why are all these guys coming over? It's not like he didn't even question it until after. He got through like 10 of them and was like, why are all these guys coming over? It's not like he didn't even question it. He got through like 10 of them and was like, this is crazy. What is it, Christmas? You guys tell her he has HIV, still 1,100 people show up. Yeah, exactly.

Literally, he goes, the guy has HIV, it doesn't stop anybody. Yeah. I guess, yeah, they come with the HIV. But like, so, yeah, anyways'd come with the HIV, but like, so, yeah, anyways, but it was interesting because you go, if that was like,

imagine like, if you did that to a girl, it was like, you, even just think about a guy sent like a thousand guys to a girl's house and said to rape them.

It's like, that's like up there with like Hitler level of like, this is the worst guy in the history of the world. Whereas like in this story, you're like,

what a scoundrel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or if a girl, we got a real Johnny Knoxville overrel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or if a girl... We got a real Johnny Knoxville over here. Yeah, or if your ex-girlfriend did that to you with like girls

and you're like, oh, oh no, babe. Sorry. Oh, I guess I shouldn't have cheated on you. I learned my lesson. Just slept with a thousand women. The mayor of Burbank

was up to see that weird thing where he was fucking getting a spanking in front of people? Oh, I did. He's like a big progressive mayor, I guess. And then he went, like, they had drag queens coming in. Then he goes into the drag queen as a press junket. And the drag queen's spanking him and stuff like that. And he released it as like, look how fucking, look how with it I am.

Campaign video? Getting spanked by drag queens? Sounds so cool. I got it. Okay. Look what's the same point. Boys, we got to tell you about Butcher Box. It's been a second since we told the fellas about the box.

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Not at the airport, but at things lots of times. No, airport though is a next level message. I saw this before you sent this to me and I showed this to my girl and i go this is gonna happen to you one day i'm not even exaggerating i'm not saying yeah yeah of course i said one day this is going to happen to you i'm going to leave you i'm gonna write an article about i'm going to leave you at the fucking airport because you go to get a coffee yeah like 10 minutes before boarding and you don't come back well this guy's already said

they've missed multiple flights yeah and then on top of that then this time they're basically at the airport and then she goes i need to go get a starbucks and they have to she has to go through like out leave the terminal essentially because she had to go to a specific coffee place and then miss the flight and the guy just you know and then he's texting her being like hey the boarding and she's like oh i'll be back when i'm back and she the guy said she won't talk to him for like you know he basically comes home and she's been like giving icing him out like super mad at him and it was just like yeah this is finally someone stood up and it's like these monsters he's like pretty reasonable because he's like he has a daughter from a different marriage that he was going to visit so he's like we're going to visit my daughter the first time they missed the flight

couldn't go visit the daughter lost the flight so he's like i'm just gonna go you can buy another flight and yeah and meet me or whatever yeah and then she ends up doing that and he's like it was fine all weekend but then when we got back she's like all fucking upset about it and uh yeah it's just like i don't know pretty normal dude i have many men dude the amount of times in my life that a girl was gonna like for all the do the i'm trying to there's so many well i was thinking of shows and then i'm already thinking of like three things like i remember like new years like doing like a big show and then it was like we'll come to the show and then like legitimately you know we're supposed to be there an hour before and then the minute i'm getting on stage i'm getting like phone calls being like where is it and stuff and then i get on stage

and then my phone's ringing on stage. I remember being on stage trying to look at my set list and I have this phone ringing that I keep like 19 missed calls that I kept having to like turn off on stage. And it was just like,

and this is someone I've been dating for a while being like, you know that like, if I'm not answering what that reason probably is, I'm at the show that you've missed.

Yeah. Let me ring him 19 more times just in case he can't hear it. Just fucking take a breather woman i've actually yeah i mean most things nowadays i mean danny actually does this i've you're you're pretty on the thing of like if i'm ever meeting up with you and your chick you like come separately because you're just like you just have it set like that well i just i'm like okay i'm leaving i'll meet you there she just takes so long for she's always so long is she yeah yeah

she's late for everything but the flights they don't do anything though this is the thing she doesn't do anything I go what are you doing what are you doing yeah literally

what do you do here seriously and she's like I don't even know really she'll even admit she goes I don't know I'm just kind of puttering around

yeah the worst thing I think I hate is when I'm I'm waiting for my girl I'm waiting for half I'm ready half an hour and then she'll be like okay I'm coming 10 minutes you know and then eventually she half an hour. I'm ready half an hour. And then she'll be like, okay, 10 minutes.

You know, and then eventually she goes, alright, let's go. And it's like, because she's ready. I've been ready. Don't tell me to let's go. I'm waiting for you. The only way I ever win in this scenario is when it's a thing she wants to do. Like, it's one of her things. And then I'm like, and then I'm like, and I don't really care.

I don't really care. I'm watching TV. Yeah, and then I'll be out bunty handed. Legitimately. And then she's like, oh, I'll be ready. And I't really care. I'm watching TV. No, absolutely. Yeah, and then I'll... You'll be all Bundy handed. Oh, legitimately. And then she's like, oh, I'll be ready. And I go, yeah, take your time. And then we end up just being like so fucking late for her thing.

And she's like, why are we so late? And I go, I don't know. We missed a wedding. I missed a wedding before. Oh my God. Ugh. This was fucking...

It was with Jarek actually one time. We were carpooling three hours away to go to this wedding. And then it was just like, where are they? Blah, blah, blah. And he he was like i'm trying to get her going blah blah we eventually get to the wedding and walk in after they'd already done the thing and they were just about to do the speeches and we walk in on like the speeches and just the whole church goes it's my it's my buddy getting married and he's standing there now forever hold your peace

and then the door goes you You heard him pulling it? He just looks at me and he goes, You're just like, Yeah, I know. You're talking the wrong department. Yeah. Yeah. Women suck.

Yeah. You should just be able to leave. I had one where I was like, I was at the thing and we're waiting to go to this thing, but I already pulled the Danny and then I fucking, I'm scrolling through my phone

and i see this bitch posted a tiktok i was like fucking ready to throw my phone in the wall i go i was just like are you fucking kidding me right now she's just commenting on like replying to people on the tiktok you can see thanks flying flying with a girl is like because there is a lot of times you're kind of like yo uh if you're going to a weekend or whatever sometimes you're like that'd be a fun thing like bring it the chick like you know what i mean and then then you then like halfway through the airport you're like oh right they're fucking like you're you're on the flight and you're already just like irritated from nine fucking things the only hope though is that if this ever does happen it's's going to happen like leaving Saudi Arabia.

And I'll just leave her there. And then I'll just be that. There's no lesson to be learned. You don't even ask. You don't even find out what happened to them. No, no, no. I just assume you're never seeing them again. And that's that.

Yeah. Yeah, that's fine. Take it into some sort of form of sex. Yeah. Yeah. It's like leaving a hat in an Uber. That's what it is. I like that hat.

I'm not paying the $20 to get a hat. I don't even know where I'd begin to track this down. It's just like a Mets hat. I could replace it. It was a good hat. I liked it a lot. But you know what? I'll get a new one.

I'll get a new hat. A new, new younger tighter hat rules are rules they take your girl off you shouldn't have been late we have locked up your girlfriend well look you know

it's your culture who am I to say I don't want to come across as I should have fucking legit boiled my blood Raising my But I'd be mad Me too

If I missed the If I was late And my girl was there And she didn't get the flight I'd almost be mad Because of like What a waste of money Well but then I'd be like

Well go buy yourself a new ticket And I'll meet you Or whatever the fuck But it still fucks up your Trip Don't forget they're crying At this time Oh no

Yeah You think you're getting A level headed call Like okay Yeah I'll just buy the ticket, catch you on the flip. No, you can't. You don't get a call. You're on the, you're lounging.

You've got a free seat beside you. You're sitting on the plane having the time of your life. You're stretched out. Yeah, you put the little, they come for drinks. You put her, like, table. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Two, please. Her favorite's a gin and tonic. Just out of your two please her favorites

are gin and tonic just two everything please two pretzels just everything yeah having the time of your life

just yeah obviously it's such a universal complaint but it's like it is just crazy how that does never get solved

where you're just like hey you're standing there for three hours and nothing happens yeah needs some sort of shock collar yeah for women.

You just have to, it's just, you just lie. That's the only solution. You say the events at 8.30. Yeah, that's what I do. I do a lot of that. That's just what you got to do. Yeah. And I do that.

That is something I actually do where I just lie about the time. Yeah. It's the only way. And you'll never really get called on it because you'll never really be on time. Well, the problem is, is if they show up half an hour late and then they're on time then they can't turn around to him like you told us i was like yeah i know i adjusted for you bad habits yeah but then like for and this is like what the girl in this article said that she was all mad about is that he's like you know so sometimes i'll be like militant about getting to the airport and you get to the airport like an

hour before the flight and then she's just fucking complaining that she's gonna spend an hour at the airport and she's like well the whole point is that you don't know yeah yeah yeah like you don't know it's not like fixed it's variable how long you're gonna have

how long is it gonna take so you have to get there early in case just get the get the this solves everything get a Delta Lounge membership and then it doesn't matter

how early you get there since I'm in the Delta it's great I was always I'm always worried about getting to the airport too early because you just never know

with traffic and stuff especially in like a different city but now because I'm in the lounge I'm's great. I was always, I'm always worried about getting to the airport too early because you just never know with traffic and stuff, especially in a different city. But now because I'm in the lounge, I'm like, if I have an hour to kill, it's great. Okay. Free food.

Yeah, there's free food, free drinks. It's like a good vibe just to hang out and there's like good work area rooms. None of the riffraff?

No. I have a lounge. None of the scum at Buffalo Wild Wings. No. And a $28 beer. No, I'm classing it up. Drinking champagne and getting some free cookies.

I got the thing for the lounge and I went once and they said it was full. Oh, it does. But you just gotta wait. It's not full for long. Okay. Yeah, because someone has to go catch a flight at some point. Yeah, but it is. So I used to always be worried about getting there too early. Now I'm like, oh, worst case scenario, I'll just chill in the lounge for 45 minutes.

Or if your flight's delayed, it's the best. I mean, oh, yeah. But it's like the alternative is you miss your flight. And that pain in the ass is... The pain of missing a flight is greater than the pain of being early 10 times. Like, you know, missing a flight sometimes is a fucking nightmare. Remember that one time we had to go to Atlanta to get to St. Louis? Yeah, I mean, I've been in this situation many, many times.

You're always missing flights, right? I'm always missing flights, but I've also had probably more times it's like they cancel it. Dude, me and Danny had like two weekends in a row, I think it was, where they sent us back home. Oh my God.

That's insane. Not even closer to the... It's just a waste of your time. Yeah. Oh, they're out of control over there, but okay, and this one was good. It was from basically a zero tango, but this woman did seven undeniable signs that uh he wants you to leave him alone and on the paper it seems obvious they go he ghosts you he won't respond to

you he ignores you completely right but the other part of was sort of go back to the original video you are kind of like that's not necessarily true there's a million girls where it's like you go he doesn't uh he doesn't engage with you he doesn't engage with your comments online he avoids you on public it's like there are people that you yeah that's my wife doesn't necessarily it doesn't necessarily mean this guy's gonna walk away man i go i know guys that are in this sleeping in the separate bedrooms this is a roommate you don't talk to yeah yeah this is sometimes sometimes guys just do this so that they can stay in the game you know like they're not gonna stay in the game like otherwise like if they if they can't do this

stuff and they're like okay well then i'm out like if i have to be calm replying to every one of your fucking comments on every social media yeah so it's bad it is mixed signals you're right but it is also funny the other way around where it's just like writing an article being like if he ghosts you blocks you doesn't respond to you tells your friends that you're bothering him owns the police on you. It's a cease and desist. He tells you, through the use of lawyers, to stay away. He might want you not to pursue him.

Seven, he says it outright. Is that really it? I swear to God, I thought that was a joke. I was on the side, that was a joke. He says it outright. He says, leave me alone. Please stop. I will have the side, that was a joke. He says it outright. He says, I do. Leave me alone.

Please stop. I will have to take legal action. That's a good sign. That's a sign. Although it might mean something else, but you know, it's a good sign. It's a plan hard to get. Yeah. No, that's what I was saying.

Hold the phone. He might still stay with you for another 70 years. But yes, if you're in a dating stage and the guy tells you specifically to please stop contacting him, then the girls have to write this article because this girl learned this the hard way and she's like they obviously you write that article because you're like maybe some other girls don't realize that fucking you know legitimately having a police restraining order is some sort of a sign from god it's kind of serious yeah no i was liking it though oh shit the um okay so if you're talking about on the

topic of the burbank thing right yep uh obviously that was like california right and you wouldn't try that in a small town i think it's fair to say right but or would you so jason aldean the small town guy uh they basically were burning american flags outside of his concert yeah but it was making me laugh because it is a concert in chicago so it really was like a proving his point yeah it wasn't louisville exactly like it just seems like you were going to be burning flags outside of jasonean's concert, you go pick a small town one and be like, right? They literally waited until he comes. He probably doesn't play these city metropolitans that often, right? No.

So he's basically playing in Chicago, and then they're burning the signs there. And he was probably just like, it probably banged harder that night. Yeah, I know. He goes. Yeah, he's probably on stage being like a bunch of people outside burning flags. Bunch of blue haired. Yeah. He's like, I wrote a little song about it.

Exactly. Y'all got to get out of these big cities. Yeah. He's like, could you not prove his point harder? Yeah. Hey, do you know what's kind of strange? Is they in New York, there's actually a couple of interesting New York stories, but right now the police have instituted, they're sending drones out to, you've seen that too, right?

Yeah, they're sending, so basically if you get a noise complaint, they send a drone out over your party to see it. So I guess you can see the first part where you're like- What footage? Can you send me that footage? Yeah. I'm like a drone out over your party to see it oh so i guess you can see the first part where you're like what footage can you send me that footage yeah i'm like a rager some teenagers like oh that angle's sick look at that fucking wide shot oh my god there's a guy jumping off the roof looking at like using it like it's like a selfie stick type of thing yeah well it is yeah there's obviously that but then i guess it is kind of like uh like i see sort of both sides i do see how i guess that's better

than sending all those people but you go the obvious thing is you it's not going to stop at the parties those drones are going to be in the fucking mix dude oh yeah oh yeah for sure i mean they have the the robot dogs that they tested i didn't actually see them but i think they they uh did some display with remember they had like two of those weird boston dynamics robot dogs that are just gonna be like patrolling i don't know i think it's probably a while away from that but the drones are here i guess i don't know what they're gonna do with them that's but that is most likely like 10 years from now it's just everywhere you go there's fucking drones cooking all around yeah yeah probably which i mean there's this feeling i think has like i know in the uk is i don't know if it's but like i think this you know it's cameras everywhere london is london's

everywhere right like is it london there's like not like a square inch or something there's not and it's yeah they have tv shows where they showed them operating huge big systems and has facial recognition stuff everything has like, your license plates. Someone drives into, the second someone drives into London, it clocks your license plate and they can follow you for the whole day.

They'll follow a car that has a parking ticket for the whole day. They'll show it. That's fucking crazy. Everyone's face like that. I remember one night I was coming home drunk

actually in England and I remember hearing like a and I was like, the fuck? And then I looked up and there was a fucking thing. I was on my own drunk just walking down the street late at night and i saw the thing and it's like and i was like what the hell is this and now he's like zooms in and goes and i was like wasted suck it to the

drone oh i saw someone did a prank one time before in england so it's like that walking home at night whatever he has a spray can he goes up to a wall it's like parallel it's that's going whatever and then like this thing and so the cops pull up because he was spray painting and it was just like a aerosol or something it was like a deodorant oh yeah he was just pretending to spray paint on the wall and then they were like get him get him get him and he's like no it's just like yeah we'll still kick the shit out of you yeah yeah yeah smack him with a bat yeah yeah yeah when yeah when you went to canada did you have to do like face all the facial recognition stuff what did you have to do i mean i must have but i don't know when i went there was right before just at the passport thing no at the gate

i had never seen this before this is the first time i ever saw this this would have been at laguardia at going what at the gate they do like this whole facial recognition thing as like a last ditch and basically it's for customs but you know you're putting your like do like this whole facial recognition thing as like a last ditch and basically it's for customs but you know you're putting your like it's a whole facial recognition thing for uh i don't know i guess it's u.s or canadian customs i don't know which one but that i'd never seen before where you couldn't get through the gate without this whole like because they obviously take your photo at some point i mean they're photographing you the entire time and like the terminal or

whatever but like you know show your passport and they like match it up or whatever but then this was like an actual like biometric i'm sorry i just thought this was america maybe i'm crazy it was america ryan they're on you though i almost got in a fight with a fucking old lady last night to be completely honest i actually was so okay let's go okay i want to hear this so i'm taking the city bike home right yeah i get back on one i've been sort of boycotting the pregnant bitch tries to take his e-bike 95 year old pregnant bitch i've been boycotting the city bike for a little bit because they you can never find a fucking thing to dock them right yeah i basically you drive home and then you and then you basically i drive back to the studio and drop the bike off you gotta look at the map to show you where the

open ones are no but the problem is they're broken i know yes so the crackheads break the locks why because then what happens yes you don't see people like all especially where you get better locks they're really this company needs to get their shit together dude yeah like especially where you live you see constantly people are just riding around city bikes like they just have city bikes and you're like that's like an 800 bike there's a thousand dollars they charge you but they jimmy the locks drunk person comes home puts it in and then they think it docks and then someone goes to the lock they jimmy pulls it out and they just have a bike well i'm fucking i drive home like the things are ready like you know half a kilometer from my house so I drive it

that one's blocked off then I drive to another one that one's blocked off third one's blocked off so now it's been like 20 minutes and I'm not even I'm two miles from my house at this point trying to drive this bike off and then basically someone said that there was one in Stuy town right yeah so I basically was like okay that's in the cages yeah so I was like basically trying to find that one and I was like kind of like had one foot on my bike one like i was like kind of like looking around like barely moving and i'm looking at the map on my phone and this lady just walks up and she goes hey get off your phone when you're on your bike and she yells at me and i just go why don't you shut the fuck up i fucking lost it i was just like right at that moment it

was wrong time lady yeah i was just like right at that moment it was wrong time lady yeah i was just like i've been looking for this thing for half an hour by the way this is a road that you essentially don't drive on yeah it's not on the road in you know there's not a single person on this road car or bike and she's standing like on the sidewalk and this karen oh my god decides to yeah and i like it was a part of me i was just like yeah i wish this was i actually was like you know when uh you get in a big argument you're like almost like fantasizing about more things you would have said after i was saying i was like i wish she like filmed it and tried to shame me for getting mad then i could tell my side of the

story to the world like i was like imagine that would be the scenario where she comes on and she goes this guy yelled this at me look at and then then i could go i'll tell you what actually of the story to the world. I was like, imagine that would be the scenario where she comes on and she goes, this guy yelled this at me. Look it. And then I could go, I'll tell you what actually happened here. This fucking lady. This fucking hall monitor showed up.

Like, how old were we talking? Dude, I thought the Karens were sort of like that, the whole movement turned that down a little bit. But just like, mind your business.

Maybe if you were a black guy. That's true. Yeah, to a white guy that's all they have left yeah yeah she's getting it all out on you she's gonna get it all out on you she's gonna unload get off your phone how old are we talking 55 like no we're not talking 90 get off your phone fat overweight uh yeah they're all a little chubby probably 20 she had 20 pounds on her like the type of gray hair where it's like just a little, you know.

She's like a little gray, but she's not touching it up. She doesn't have time for that with all the yelling she's doing at people. She must have just an awful life. To just yell at someone randomly. It's not like she was driving and you were blocking the road or something like that. And then she was like, get the fuck off your phone. I'm going to drive. She's just a goody two shoes. I mean mean i definitely like when i'm biking around the city

if someone's like on their phone and they'll like step into like the bike lane i will be like i will say shit like i'll yell out as i'm this is if you're in the middle of traffic everyone's yelling at everyone that's the vibe of the downtown new york you know what i mean everyone but like when you're driving through a path at fucking 1 a.m. with no one anywhere to be seen, I don't know why she's even out. It's past her bedtime. The ladies need to keep it together.

I'll tell you what, there's another one. I'm a DJ. I breastfeed on stage with one hand and spin with the other. The girls with their fucking titties out are out of control. But I was saying, it is funny also to say that we have a problem in America where the women do not have maternity leave this girl has to do her dj and gig with she can't even take five minutes off

just her boss made her boss at the you know astro festival made her go back to work immediately it's it's what it's like if if the article was just like mother brings newborn baby to rave you'd be like oh my god why would what the hell go home yeah there was a dj social services or whatever also just yeah do it before you dj is like a critical at that exact moment yes yeah you can't go on any other lineup you know what did you go up early also the kid's like six we know a guy that uh was a kid that people said he has a kid and he these kids like five or something. And he left him in his car to come to an open mic spot.

Nice. Well, it was July. Nice July. Summer's day. Kid was out cold. I'm telling you, they're out of control, though. And then also, there's a whole genre of TikTok now where girls are talking about free bleeding. Again. It's back. Wasn't that a prank, though? Wasn't that a prank by 4chan? a bunch of, there's a whole genre of TikTok now where girls are talking about free bleeding. Again?

It's back. Wasn't that a prank though? Wasn't that a prank by 4chan? No, well, yeah. And then like, No, these are real women like doing TikToks, right? You can like,

About free bleeding. Yeah, no, but originally the free bleeding was 4chan. I think it was, it was 4chan and then, and then Sacha Baron. What was the prank? So a bunch of people on 4chan.

To like stick it to the patriarchy or some shit. Yeah, so they would create loads of random. No like stick it to the patriarchy or some shit so they would create loads of random no that was from the 70s was it? yeah this was like hippie shit from the 70s

well it got brought I know you're talking about it got brought back recently that might be true and then it wound up on the Sasha Baron Cohen This is America

remember? where he was like my daughter free bleeds or whatever and that's kind of how it got back in like the zeitgeist and then it went away

but I'd never seen any of these TikToks or anything well there's I guess whatever weird you know whatever weird thing that you're into, you can find. But it's just funny. And she's going on basically the whole deal. She goes, she stays home for a week when she's on her period because she's going to bleed all over everything.

You go, how empowered. I'm in favor of that, though. She's going to stay home for a whole week and then you're listening all right that's fine let's let's promote more free bleeding the ladies are out of control yeah so listen we have call him tyrell special on youtube how you feeling by the reception we did a party last night oh it's been's been great. Really. The squad was together. It's been great. I donated $2 to Super Chat. Yeah, everyone loved it. Everyone's calling me cheap.

Times are tough right now, huh? Got a lot of money wrapped up in there. If I could have donated less, I would have. I just got a new mic for the street, you know? I got a...

No, the reception's been great please do give it give it a look just go click it give it five minutes if you like it thanks yeah the gas digital specials

have all been like really good yeah Kurt's was super funny Kurt's great Lewis Dave came out now yours I will say the only thing that I don't even know

if it's supposed to be an insult but people are just like not as good as Kurt's and I was like who said that just a few comments like that oh you're fine no but it's also like

I'm sure people but it's also like the other one said not as good as yours oh what else are you gonna tell me I'm not as good as Kurt's. Who said that? Just a few comments like that. Oh, you're fucked. No, but it's also like... I'm sure people on the other one said not as good as yours. Oh, what else are you going to tell me? I'm not as good looking as Brad Pitt, you fucking dopes. Kurt's one of the greatest comics. It's not an insult.

I was like, Kurt's great. Yeah, there was some... Kurt's a senior, one of the best comics we have. Yeah, he's so funny, dude. So for someone to be like, not as good as his... The most underrated comic in the world.

What are you talking? Yeah, for sure. You can argue that. I can't think of someone that's more underrated than yeah for me for what a loser get properly rated you loser you you unrated loser well i was like i mean yeah he i told you he uh dude that special is so funny you're i thought they were like they're all of them are great Obviously, I think you're one of the funniest comics, too. Yeah, Dave Smith, Louis J. Gomez.

Yeah, this was so funny. And then he texted me. He was like, dude, would you tweet my special out? And I was like, I tweeted it and I posted your video on my grid three hours ago and tagged you in both. Well, he's not on social media. He has no idea. He has a fucking... Maybe that's a little bit of insight into why it's underrated. He calls me Callum. Well he's not on social media He just has no idea He has like a fucking Yeah I go just to be

Maybe that's a little bit Of insight into why It's underrated He calls me Callum And I've never corrected him But he calls me Callum And I can I've texted him

Hey this is Callum Blah blah blah And he goes Of course Callum Like he'll respond back Like and then he sees With a different spelling Yeah yeah yeah

In the Even in text he calls me Callum I think I set that up Didn't a different spelling? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even in text, he calls me Callum. I think I set that up, didn't I? When you went to LA. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he did the podcast when he was out here. That's what it was. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But he's always called me Callum. I might have told him you're Callum. And even when I see him. Yeah, I was going to say Ryan probably said Callum. Even when I see him, he's like, Callum! And he gives me a big hug and I'm like, yeah, okay. I love Kurt. Kurt's a genius.

I agree. He's also so dynamic. Dude, we're just talking about fucking that Sesh, Samir, and Cohen free bleeding stuff. He wrote that, yeah, okay. I love Kurt. Kurt's a genius. I agree. He's also so dynamic. Dude, we're just talking about fucking that Sesh Baron Cohen free bleeding stuff. He wrote that, by the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you think about that.

You just said, you go, that sort of brought back it into the zeitgeist. He wrote that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Isn't that crazy? It's kind of, like, wild to think. Also, yeah,

he could do the sketches and then he's also doing the Jimmy Thor stuff. He was one of the original guys that got, like, dinged also by, uh, because there was the big ucb oh yeah pretty crazy but that was a bit nuts though for honest he didn't he didn't really need to die on that hill totally agree but it was kind of crazy to think about like one of the craziest things and then we'll get out of here because the ucb basically uh there was like a guy that they were saying sexually assaulted

people and then ucb came out against him being like posted a big statement. And then with no evidence or whatever. And then the guy sued UCB and won a big settlement. Remember that? Oh, did he win? Yeah. Well, I just got like paid. Yeah.

Well, their whole thing was UCB was like, and we've said we've taken care of it. And the Kurt's like, maybe like if there's a rape happening, maybe you should get the police involved. Yeah. All he said. Yeah. Instead of just like UCB settling this's a rape happening maybe you should get the police involved. Yeah all he said was instead of just like UCB settling this internally. Improv court. Yeah improv court or whatever. He's like this is a witch we can't just yeah we gotta go to the

proper channels we can't just accuse this guy and whatever. Yeah then he got like dinged up on that. Amy Schumer had to like apologize on his behalf and stuff. Crazy. That's so funny. She's just like, what?

Come on. Why is this on my doorstep right now, Kurt? We don't need this. No one needs this. Say this to your friends at a table. You don't need to go out

on Twitter and just destroy all of your relationships. He doesn't like to see the injustice, dude. He did go, even at the very end, he goes, oh, the guy definitely is a rapist i'm just saying yeah i'm just saying just just just channels just proper channels that's all he said he goes oh he definitely raped those girls but that's not

the point yeah that's irrelevant that is crazy because this guy people were all like we just don't like which he is guilty by the way, but then he was the pro rape comedian. Like there were these articles coming out calling Kurt the pro rape comedian. Yeah. Yeah. Wow, dude. Well, yeah.

Buy tickets to my, my UK tour and Europe when it comes out the next Wednesday and catch us, me and Danny doing an episode, bonus episode, as always, patreon.com

slash the boys cast. All right. Peace, everybody. Thank you.