The Boyscast with Ryan Long - LET'S BE CITIZEN DETECTIVES

Episode Date: January 22, 2021

Trust the Plan, Can the media say goodbye to Trump, People want you to be citizen detectives, censorship, and My Lyft mishap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And you can tell our friends, and they can have my things when we're dead. We are in forever. We are in forever. The Boys cast with Ryan Long, first podcast exclusively for The Boys. New year, new president. You know, Joe Biden is now the, and by the way, not to be confused with Joe Budden, I actually made that mistake. I sent Joe Budden a message. I said, congratulations on being the president.

And he said, I ain't no motherfucking president. And I said, new phone, who dis? Because that was the only way to respond. I imagine my embarrassment. And although there is a new president, I do need the boys to trust the plan that I am still going to emerge as the actual president of the United States of America. I know what you're thinking, but he's been inaugurated. There's information that's coming out that's going to blow your mind. There were reasons why I was not able to release that

information. I know that I promised people that the boys were going to emerge. There's going to be an undertaker bell. I was going to have my folding chair come out, hit him from the back. Bernie was going to come out. I was going to give him a little jab. Then I was going to stone cold stunner to Hillary Clinton. And as I was doing that, I was going to come up, give a suck it to the audience. And then the boys presidency would reign. There's going to be a lot of components of the boys presidency.

Within a day, you were going to see, you know, girls in cages. And that's the hot ones, the stripping in the cages. And then you are going to see a separate cage for the undesirable girls. And, you know, because every girl does get a cage, but some of those cages are for amusement and some of those cages are just housing. You know, we want peace and quiet while we're watching our programs. That is a little tough if you're like a hardcore Q guy and you know, you've been really like pushing the idea that there's stuff coming out and Trump's still going to be president. Cause I've seen people pretty recently being like, Trump's still the guy you don't even know.

And I think the lesson here is for anyone that's running an online movement is don't give people a day. It's like, you look back to all the people who've screwed this up. You have your followers, you got your compound, you have maybe on now you have your internet site and you're like the world's ending or this is happening it's like don't give them a day it's like they just get too cocky when's the world it's I feel like it's kind of one of those things where you're like the world's ending don't worry about when and they're all like okay and then they're at the partying it's like what's the date he's like fuck it November 4th you know you just you get carried away and you start giving your predictions then you go to sleep that night you're like why the fuck did I say November 4th

I don't know you know the day coming got November 3rd you're like yeah tomorrow the guy's like hey I'm gonna go uh I'm gonna go fucking beat a bunch of people up and you know sell I'm gonna sell all my stuff for a hundred dollars start doing heroin fuck start doing heroin. Fuck it. The world's ending. And, you know, the cult leader is kind of like, yeah, I mean, you know, we don't have to do all that. If you're going to run sort of a movement that has, I don't know what you'd call that. Not, I guess, predictions, but prophecy predictions,

I suggest that you stay away from a date. So I'm not giving you a date for when the boys cast predictions are going to come true. All you need to know is just wait for it. And you'll know when you know. The soldiers of the resistance army, that's a tough place to be. There's both on both sides. I mean, if you have mega in your bio, how long, how long do you keep that in for? Is there any people with mega in their bio how long how long do you keep that in for is there any people with mega in their bio from the last round you know like ragging mega people that and I guess they didn't have twitter back then but you know I mean like they're just pushing the mega stuff and it was kind of like how skinny jeans there's a lot of guys that were wearing skinny jeans in the 80s

then it kind of make a comeback and you're like oh this guy's stylish you're like still yeah I've been holding on to this really waiting for you, some people that still have the undercut and that's kind of making a comeback. I think you're going to, I mean, Obama kicked it for a while. You saw a lot of people with the Obama thing for quite a while. So I think the mega thing, I think you give it a year. I think a year after you go like, I don't know, dude, I'm still doing this. But if you are in the resistance army and you've dedicated your entire life, I'm happy to see people stepping away out of the fog. I'll tell you, it was a religious experience

for a lot of people. I saw everyone on my Facebook posting, not everyone, but I'm crying. I can't believe this. I'm emotional. J-Lo made me cry. So that's you. No, that's them coming back from a long fight, hanging up the camo gear, hanging up the fucking

NYPD suck my dick sign. Trump Pence out now just looking at that single tear that it's over. Now they have to look for their government pensions. What I assume is going to happen is like any soldiers, they'll be homeless pretty soon. So you're going to be walking to the store, you see a guy, you know, I served in the resistance of 2015. You go, oh my God, thank you for your service so much. Unfortunately, it didn't work out because I trusted the plan and now Ryan Long's the president, but you know, good work. out because I trusted the plan and now Ryan Long's the president, but you know, good work.

I think it was very religious for some people and you know, I'm just happy to see them happy. That's all I want. I watched Joe Biden's speech. That guy's pretty good at politics speeches. I think for, you know, how bad he was before he's been practicing that one in the mirror. I thought he did like that one. You're like, Oh, this guy, you know, he's been practicing that one in the mirror. I thought he did a, like that one, you're like, oh, this guy, you know, he's been just sitting in his basement practicing his speech. Not bad. I would say one of the things that, you know, there's a lot of different takes. Some people on the, some people that like him are just like, you know, on the left are like, this is just the start, you know what I mean?

Because they can't let it go. And that's happening on both sides. Some people are like, all the problems are solved. All better now. Let's go back to our normal life. It was Kurt Metzger made the funny joke. You know, we need to get Trump out for the most important group in history. Liberals who feel want to feel normal again. You know, I think a lot of people talk about the thing of unity. And you know, there's all that it's like, we want unity. And that's what we really need. And I think the best that this country could ask for or hope for is harmony. I mean, you have five people in a house, and three of them want to eat dinner at two,

and three of them don't want to eat dinner at all. And they're like, we have to do things as a group, and we need unity. And you're like, well, that's not really a possibility. Probably the best case scenario is you get harmony. People's things are just too different. The things that people want are completely different. The only way that America would probably get actually unity is one, unity against an enemy. If everyone comes together to decide that we got to stop the Chinese

or something like that. Or number two, if people just stopped giving a shit. And the second is probably the more likely option if there was a path to unity. But even then, that's more likely harmony. Because as soon as you start, like, you know, we're all united against this cause or for this cause. And you go, what's the, oh, yeah, I mean, we're fine. But like, they go, what's the cause? And they go, well, we want to do this and this and this. You're like, no, we're all united against this cause or for this cause. And you go, what's the, oh yeah, I mean, we're fine. But like, and they go, what's the cause? And they go, well, we want to do this and this and this.

You're like, no, we don't. And then now everyone's arguing again. So people want different things. I think COVID made that worse. And, but the problem is when it makes it worse, it's continued to get worse. And the reason for that is people are especially only around people that are like them. You know, if you're in New York, they say, you know, if people were in bubbles before, and now they say, you're only allowed to be around four fucking people. And that's the situation. So now, like, if you're a fucking, you know, some liberal,

you might know people like Trump at your job or whatever, and you go, ah, he's fine, it's whatever, you know what I mean, you might, if you're, and you might understand where they're coming from, which people right now really, really don't understand where each other are coming from, if you're a Trump guy, you know, and you're really like, these fucking libtards, this and that, and then you, you know, maybe you see some fucking real ass racism where you live. And you're like, you know, some real shit where you're like, all right, that's, that's kind of tough. You know, I've seen that before where I remember we were in Nashville and some guy came up to us. He was like 60 years old.

You know, what's up? You know, that's how he talks. What's up, boys? I'm 60. He starts chatting with us. And at some point he's like, oh, my daughter, I've never let my daughter date a black guy. I'm like, the fuck are you talking about and then you know my body who was with me was all like you know get the fuck away from us whatever it was right so maybe you see that shit

and you kind of understand that but if everyone's only around four fucking people you have no you know basis to understand anyone's point of view. And the best, best case scenario you could possibly ask for is unity, but, or harmony. But my point is they don't, you know, give a shit about that. It's all lip service and it's all politicking. But if you were to judge, it's like saying, you know, you want to watch some, you know, singer or whatever. And you're like, ah, they don't even give a shit about doing this. You're like, they're still pretty good at singing. Now, can the news let him go? I made the video that everyone was posting recently again, was the, um, what happens, you know, to every blog after they lose the election and can the media

let Trump go? I'll tell you a funny article that I saw immediately. because right out of the gate, you're you're you're my initial reaction is probably not. They can't probably let him go because they need this. You know, the ratings have been high. They need the clicks. And I saw Trump furious. So many celebrities performing for Biden inauguration. Like this is, you know, not even, you know, oh, inauguration was sweet. You know, this is who's performing at the inauguration. This is what this person said

the experiences was like performing in the inauguration. They go, Trump's actually pissed. And basically, over the last four years, Donald Trump forced the entire media to turn into Donald Trump. Is it basically what happened? And I looked at the comments of this article and the comments were all kind of, you know, you can see the people because people are so all they know how to do right now is, you know, is be like, actually, Trump rules are like he's actually the worst. You said it, brother. My buddy, Alex Birani from Vancouver, he said to me, he goes, my mom's family's got the, you know, you can always count on your mom's friends for the most fire memes. It's just a crappy picture of Trump. And it says, you're fired.

Like, boom, got him. But the comments, I read like four or five of them. And they go, you know, he's furious that the celebrity is performing the Biden inauguration. His comments go, yeah, he probably is just jealous. You're like, that's the gist of the article. And they go, yeah, because Trump probably couldn't get anyone at his. It's like, yeah, that's kind of what they're saying. Yeah.

And then other people are like, actually, he's not even jealous. He didn't want those people. So you go, first of all, who the fuck are these psychos? It's like you literally look at this and you go, if someone goes, oh, it's just all bots. Everyone's bots. And you're like, yeah, probably. And then you go, oh, it's actually not. You look at the ghost guy's profile.

You know, it's all, you know, resistance stuff. And then a picture with him and his kid. You're like, this is a real guy. Who the fuck are these psychos? Yeah, he probably is jealous. It's crazy. They're going to have to go back to the weather channel. You know, the guy's like, it's sunny today. And he's like, yeah, damn right it is. Damn right the sun's out. They're like mental patients, you know, and you have to like take, you know, they're yelling. They have their fist in the air and you have to grab them by the

shoulders and be like, hey, you know, how about yelling. They have their fist in the air and you have to grab them by the shoulders and be like, hey, you know, how about you go yell at that tree for a little bit? And they go, okay, you're fucking tree. That's what these people need. They need to either like snap out of this trance or they need to be ushered over to a new thing that they can yell at. They need to be like given a new mission. So the article says, Donald Trump is furious that so many top celebrities including lady gaga

jennifer lopez tom hanks are going to feature at the president-elect's inaugural celebrations on wednesday in stark contrast to his own event four years ago now adding to the wounds mr trump reported to be particularly upset at the a listeners who have shunned him during the time of his office are now going to perform for Mr. Biden, according to The Washington Post, reporting, citing a person close to the president, their inside source. And you go, I you think that confused Donald Trump? Wait a second. J-Lo J-Lo did it. She didn't do mine. Calling J-Lo up. uh excuse me it's just kind of funny that you said you wouldn't do mine what the fuck like like as if this should be a surprise to anyone

that this inauguration is like bigger celebrities what the fuck uh hey uh calling in his staff could you get in here someone explain this to me that's a big surprise for him The most hated man in America didn't have a bunch of celebrities getting behind him because if a celebrity performed his inauguration, it would legitimately ruin his career. Did J-Lo say why? Did she even say why he's doing that one and not mine? This betrayal is coming out of nowhere. So I can't imagine that this comes as a particular surprise to Donald Trump, but more importantly, the source, a source close to the president. I would assume what happened is, you know, some of these news organizations found their inside sources and they're like, listen, we're going to give you payola. I'm going to give

you a, you know, a stipend of fucking 2000 bucks a week. And I want you to give you payola. I'm going to give you a stipend of fucking $2,000 a week. And I want you to give me at least one big juicy piece of information. I need one big story. I'm going to give you the money. You're my inside guy, but I need something big. And then it's like kind of the last days, two weeks. And they're like, fuck, I'm going to have to give this money back if I don't give them something. Okay, maybe in this dark alley under the bridge.

You know, you didn't bring anyone. You didn't bring anyone. Can I check you for a wire? All right. Yeah, listen. I got sources that tell me Trump's not stoked about J-Lo playing Biden's inauguration. We square?

Are we square on our deal? That's my hot piece of information. You paid me and I delivered. So that's what articles are coming out right now. Several other Hollywood stars are also expected to be part of the program. The program to be live on the most television networks and across social media channels. So in Trump's face, A-list Hollywood doesn't like Trump. Trump's fucking pissed, dude.

So that's the kind of stuff that they're coming up with. Some other ones. Then there's the other one where I said there's going to be the articles. They're going to be like, the first lady looked nice. And I saw, you know, so I looked at some of the three big headlines. And it's pretty funny. Washington Post. Biden pleads for unity in inaugural address so

you know good stuff uh Kamala sworn in as vice president shattering gender and racial barriers even though a couple presidents ago was a black dude cozy and casual Bernie Sanders makes a fashion statement on inauguration day the Bernie stuff was hilarious by the way the meme of him sitting there with the gloves on and uh my friend photoshopped that onto a merch table. And I was like, pretty funny. So I think we can go back for the most part to thinking presidents are gods and sort of, you know, treating them the same way that TMZ treats some actress or whatever, which I think some people are probably like good enough of, you know, the the actual praise and enough of the, you know, the hatred, just whatever. You know, I don't have to care what these magazines say.

Huffington Post and Washington Post, which, you know, I guess they're all the same thing right now. It's like, you know, Biden supports a new hat. Who is his stylist? And you go, good. You guys don't do your fucking thing over there and go back to you know treating presidents like they're fucking celebrities i do find it funny that like i hypocrite which is a funny account they posted a thing it said it was the head editor of like you know watching a poster one of these uh basically they posted they said uh you know we're gonna scrutinize the the new administration just as hard as we scrutinized the previous one. Right. And then the same day she posted that, they looked at her, the Twitter buyer of the editor of that publication, and they posted, I'm feeling so emotional right now.

I'm crying. And you're like, oh, you're probably just crying because you're about to let him have it. You're probably just crying because you're about to let him have it you're probably just crying because you're about to hold a guy there's tears of accountability and you go i don't feel like that's what's gonna happen so that's where we're at with that stuff but then back to the the resistance army i think the more interesting part is the people that can't let it go. And they go, I'm a fucking soldier coming back from war. And now what? I'm going to fucking get a job shoveling snow. I don't think so. I'm going to work at coffee time after I just killed fucking nine guys in Nam a week. You know, I've been paying for prostitutes with my with my army uh craft services and now I gotta come back and get a job in the real world so this is going very viral and I'm gonna play a little clip but his name is Don Winslow I have this video and basically his take is like we're just

beginning I know that you you have a day off. You have one day off. Enjoy the inauguration. But this is, we're just getting fucking started, dude. So I'm going to play a bit of this clip. And this is, I listen to this, I go, dude, fucking let it go. On or before January 20th, Donald Trump will no longer be the commander-in-chief. He will lose control of the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Special Forces, and America's nuclear arsenal.

On January 20th, Donald Trump will become the commander-in-chief of a different army. This army. The greatest threat facing America today comes from within. Radical extreme conservatives, also known as domestic terrorists. They are hidden among us, disguised behind regular jobs. They are your children's teachers. They work at supermarkets, malls, doctor's offices, and many are police officers and soldiers. You can see that it's just getting started.

Your daughter's teacher. The paper delivery boy, your Uber Eats guy. Just so you know, your Uber Eats guy is most likely a radical domestic terrorist. But this is where it gets good. We have to fight back.

In this new war, the battlefield has changes. Computers can be more valuable than guns. And this is what we need now more than ever. An army of citizen detectives. I'm proposing we form a citizen army. Our weapons will be computers and cell phones. We, who are monitoring extremists on the internet and reporting their findings to authorities.

Remember, before the Navy SEALs killed Osama Bin Laden, he had to be found. He was found by a CIA analyst working on a computer thousands of miles away. It's up to you. Citizen detectives! I know that you just came back. You just hung up your resistance camo gear. You're just getting started. You're basically the guy that stopped Osama bin Laden. Citizen detectives. You don't need a job anymore. You have a job. A volunteer citizen detectives. My name is Ryan, but you can call me the citizen detective. I don't reckon I know a life outside of fighting Trump. I've cross-referenced Facebook, Gab, Twitter. Haven't talked to my wife in months. I reckon she's with the new man now.

I know what you're thinking, but that's just my Aunt Gladys. Your Aunt Gladys is a terrorist. I haven't slept in days. I've been smoking an entire pack of cigarettes, only taking a single break to buy a novelty-sized magnifying glass, which has led me to Cheryl Thomas in Pennsylvania, who posted the aforementioned quote, Trump is not finished. Trump is just beginning. Well, Cheryl Thomas, I'm taking a three-day bus ride up to Pennsylvania to have a word with you, because I am the citizen detective.

Get a life. Don Winslow, get a life. Move on. It's finished. The bad man's gone. No one cares anymore. However, I think there's some truth to fucking what he's saying. In that people, some people are going to get on board with this.

And there's going to be a fucking boner for censorship coming, coming right at you. There's going to be a throbbing boner, blood about to pour out, you know, because these people are not through. Now, will I miss Donald Trump is a question. I think, and did I benefit from it? I mean, everyone did in some way because, you know, this is the oldest thing in the book that you build a brand in an election cycle. I mean, that just is one of the oldest tricks in the book. So I don't think, you know, I've released a ton of videos and my Trump videos have actually not been my biggest. So like my five biggest like viral videos weren't Trump related.

Because I think I'm always better at talking about, you know, culture and men and women and relationships and stuff like that. You know, people's brains and psychology, whatever it is. I think I'm way more, you know, knowledgeable or have better takes on that stuff than, you know, the logistics of politics. So whenever I'm talking about specific political candidates, those videos actually don't do as well. But I tell you what I do think I benefited from. I think I'm kind of, in some ways, thrive in the darkness. I think I a little bit thrive in the chaos. And in a scenario where everyone was losing their minds, I feel like I, to some degree, stay calm in a tumultuous environment.

And the competition, the same way that in COVID, I've been doing well because most people, you know, don't know what to do. You know, they don't know what to make. They're, you know, they've not been able to adapt. I think the same way with Trump, people's minds were lost. So in all these things, essentially it kind of washes out some of the competition. Instead of making good comedy,

a lot of people were yelling at Trump online. So I think that to some degree in chaotic environments, you know, I've always said that I am one of the best at like comedy in bad environments. Like whenever we're doing showcases, I used to kind of look forward to like a tough crowd where everyone's bombing. Cause I feel like I'm pretty good in tumultuous scenarios. Cause I thrive in the darkness kind of, uh, and I, I like people that I think a lot of it is because being singularly focused and not, you know, some of that comes

from, you know, being slightly autistic where I can only focus on one thing. It's only walking or chewing gum. I remember, and some of it comes from, you know, just paying attention to, you know, kind of lifestyle design people and looking at the best way to accomplish your goals. And I think that I've taken some of that where it's like, I'm not going to let any of the noise. I don't let a lot of the noise come to me the same.

I can't put it this way. I can't write or work with like music playing in the background. I can't sleep with like anything going on. So I'm very singularly focused. And I think that the chaos and the, and the madness that screw up other people, maybe don't screw up me. So I think that's how maybe I personally have benefited from it. I remember Arnold used to talk about that. And I might've mentioned this before, but I, Arnold Schwarzenegger, who's gotten full resistance. You know, that guy is fucking, that guy's out there fighting for the cause right now. But he says, um, I remember I read his biography and I like watching the sports biographies. He said that he goes, when I was on the stage, you know, doing his bodybuilding competitions, he's like, you could have come

and told me that, you know, my friend died. You could have come and told me my car is currently getting stolen. And it wouldn't even need like phased me because I was so singularly focused. And I kind of, you know, I remember he told this story where he said, my mom, you know, I had a bodybuilding competition in a week and his dad died. And his mom called him. He's like, you're going to come back from the funeral. And he's like, no.

And then he's in the book. He goes, how do you tell a woman whose his dad died and his mom called him he's like you're gonna come back from the funeral and he's like no and then he's in the book he goes how do you tell a woman whose mom just died you're not gonna whose whose husband just died that you're not gonna come to the funeral and I was like that's what he thought of it he goes how do I tell a woman who has been just you mean your dad and I think that it's see it starts to be socio it seems sociopathic to people but it's like I think it can also just, and that's an extreme case, but it's also extremely one track. And you're kind of like, when you have something to do, it's almost like, we'll figure that out later. You know when you're really focused on a fucking project

and your house is just getting really messy and you're like, we'll figure all that out later. Someone's calling you and they're mad at you. We'll figure out that later. And then even that, all this kind of chaos you're causing, you're like, not now, not now, not now. So I think that sometimes that like singularly singular focus, you know, putting to do less circling one fucking thing and doing that and letting the fucking chaos just like build

around you. I think that I kind of think in the way that my personality is wired is the best way for me to get things done. But everyone's been fired up for four fake fucking years. I think it's time for people to take a breath. If you're part of the resistance army, it's time to take a breath. If you've been mainlining fucking Q theories, it's time to take a breath if you've been mainlining fucking q theories it's time to take a breath you know another doomsday thing that makes me laugh always is peter schiff who i actually kind of like peter schiff's been predicting the stock market crash for like 85 years because he predicted the like the one long time ago and he wrote 100 books on it and stuff like that and basically what happened was he he recently he

goes i i'm telling you the economy is going to crash during the biden presidency and you're like so you're extending it four more years potentially eight it's like the most reasonable prediction it's like if if there's a stock market crash every 15 years or so it's like you're not really making a prediction you're just saying yeah, every once in a while, this stock market is going to crash about every 15 years. So he's been predicting this for 20 years, essentially. And you're like, there's not really a prediction anymore. I remember when I had an economics professor

who said something once that always stuck with me is if there was a, you know, and this is to some degree how some of these things work, you know, cause just law of large numbers. If you are someone that predicted, there's lots of people that made four predictions and got them all right, and that could have been by chance, essentially,

that they said if there was a coin flipping competition and it started with 100 people, and if you won your coin flip, you'd go to the next round. And then there would be down to 50 people in the second round. Then it would be down to 25 people. Then it would be down to 12 and a half people, I believe. That's how it works. So my numbers, I shouldn't have picked that number.

But then you're down to 12 and a half. But by the end, and let's say you started with 1,000 people instead of 100, but whatever, 10,000. So anyways, by the end, you'd have four people that you have won like you know 12 coin flipping competition uh in a row and they haven't lost and every single one of those people would be writing a book on their technique of coin flipping and how they do it and there is some like truth to that in a lot of these things and it's like i think peter's just one of those guys that made a couple banger predictions like out of the gate. And now it's just like sometime before 2085, the stock market is going to crash. Mark my words. I think people should worry about their own problems. Get your life in check.

I have my own problems. For example, being the loopy person that I am, we did a huge shoot, had my camera gear, probably like $ ten thousand dollars worth of gear and all the cards from three different shoots in an uber left it there uh it's funny because I was telling like you know I was talking to Justin Silver who was in the shoot which is the video that's coming up next week and he was like dude you're such a fucking airhead I told the guy I was filming with he's like don't tell me that because I eventually got them back. But it took me 24 hours because Lyft, who was Lyft, not Uber, they essentially are like, yeah, dude, it's not our problem. You call the guy.

Guy's name is Mohammed. I'm calling Mohammed. Zero answers. And then they disable my ability to call him anymore. Now it's been 24 hours. He hasn't checked his phone. He hasn't responded. You know, so eventually and then Lyft goes, yeah, if you have to reach out to the authorities then reach out the authorities I'm like should I reach out to

the authorities like can someone fucking give me an answer be like this is actually kind of normal for it to be 24 hours because they don't check their phone or be like you know I'm like are you saying that I should panic right now because your Lyft driver's not responding to you so I'm flipping out this is gonna be a nightmare eventually I call call, uh, eventually I call the police. So the police come and then they're like, yeah, I mean, what should we do? And I was like, I don't know, Lyft told me to call you. And they're like, well, how do we get in contact with Lyft? And then I go, okay, I let the police go. Then I talked to Lyft. I go, the police need to tell me how to, the police want to know how they can talk to you. And they're like, well, tell the police to email

us. I'm like, to what? I'm like, does I'm like does is there no system this has never happened before so Lyft is they're really got the model down where they just let the drivers deal with all the accountability and they're like hey we just curate the thing and you're like you're not going to get involved when potentially a driver's gone rogue with my stuff and then Justin Silver had a good point he's like well one thing is the guy's name is Mohammed and he's a Muslim so like a lot of times those guys have a contract with God. And I'm like, I don't know. They also like loopholes too, especially against people like me. I, I feel like there was a way that, you know, religious people of those types would have their loopholes, but eventually I got it back and it was a nightmare. So I have nightmares like that. Me and my friends have been trying to book a vacation,

which has been a nightmare. First of all, I don't even really like vacations, but I'm fine to do it. And eight people all acting like fucking chicks. You know, someone would be like, how about this place? I go, yeah, sure. And they go, how about this place? I go, yeah, sure. And someone goes, well, let me Google it. And then they go, how about this Airbnb? And they go, well, actually the beach is a little closer on this one. And they go, well, but this one has a better, I go, who cares? This one has a better view of you. Oh my God. I go, first of all, every guy involved needs to shut the fuck up. Let the chicks deal with it. And any guy it's like, there's four people that just let them pick who cares. Just go show up. But the views, it's my nightmare looking at things. It's probably my,

one of my most nightmares is when someone goes, look at this view or look at this painting. I have to, Ooh, beautiful. I hate it. I'm a simple man. That's what I, and they go, Oh, you don't like things. I go, I actually like what we're doing right now. Bunch of us sitting here at the beach, talking shit and drinking. I'm having a great time. You're the one that's like, Oh, I'm not satisfied unless I'm on the top of a mountain looking at the sun. Great. How is that better? I'm realizing that, you know, this can be misconstrued as I am a curmudgeon, which is I have been accused of being, but no, sorry. I just like normal things. You know, I like macaroni and cheese and with wieners in it.

I like eating a hot dog and people go, oh, well, why don't you want to go to this fancy restaurant? Ryan hates food. I go, no, I just like normal food as much as that. My palate is simple. I'm enjoying myself with this dog. You're the one that's like, I can't enjoy myself unless I have Gordon Ramsey slaving over a fucking stove for 18 hours. The only thing I think I get excited about is joke, good jokes, you know, and funny stuff like a new thing like, oh, who the fuck's this guy or locations for filming, which I've been dropping bank on. And that's why I did want to give a shout out to Matt Valigdon because he is, uh, you know, one of the boys and he, I, he heard me talking on the podcast that did want to give a shout out to Matt Valigdon because he is uh you know one of the boys and he

I heard me talking on the podcast that I want to do something in a church and he hit me up and he says I have one that you could film at and I filmed that it was fucking super sick and that is probably the most thing that gets me psyched up and especially since now every video you know 500 500,000 to a million people see every single one, which is bigger than a lot of TV shows. So I do get excited about dropping money on locations. A lot of times I'll just look at locations that I can film at. So we all have our own shit to deal with. Now to say how I think things actually look, what do I think things look like?

think things actually look what do I think things look like I think that what you're gonna see is when I you know because again it's they all these all these guys in the last years have been really kind of leaning into the dark arts whether that be the publications whether that be the politicians they've all kind of you know got a little taste of the dark arts of getting people riled up and this has always been the divide and conquer strategy but when you see him up there Joe, Joe Biden being like, oh, unity in this. But then you see him in the next interview being like, we're only going to give, you know, grants to, you know, women and, you know, minorities and whatever. And you're like, yeah, you know what you're doing. Because there's a part of it you could be like, what are they? Oh, they don't realize that's bad. It's like, no, these people know that these are tumultuous issues that gets their base fired up and it gets people mad.

So I think you're going to see a lot more about that, you know, and that's also the buying off the big corporations where they're like, listen, I know that we said we're going to be hard on you. We're not going to fucking be hard on you. We're going to be hard on microaggressions. We're not taxing Jeff Bezos more.

You think the big, we're not going to screw with the big banks. We're going to give hard on microaggressions. We're not taxing Jeff Bezos more. You think the big, we're not going to screw with the big banks. We're going to give you guys tons of money, bail you out whenever you want. You know who's really going to get a fucking talking to though? People who misgender. That's who's really going to get it. You're going to hear a lot more articles about appropriation. A guy who wore a sombrero is about to fucking get a talking to. The CEO of Goldman Sachs, not so much.

You're going to hear a lot of articles about how gay dudes should only be played by gay actors. I think you're going to hear a lot of lip service to that sort of stuff. Which, by the way, this has always been a funny one to me. Because they go, you know, gay people, gay actors, you know me because they go you know gay people gay actors you know the gay roles should only be played by gay actors and i feel like that's one of those things that guys in hollywood should be like yeah i've been telling my agent this for years about your kissing dudes like yes please i have been saying they go we got this role for you you can't say no the money's too good

all you gotta do is fucking make out with a dude forever I am you know who's the actor that's like but I am an actor now bring me my dudes to kiss even though I'm straight I don't know if I'd want that role if I was an actor I mean worst

case scenario one guy's gay and you're not, you know, you're like, who am I kissing? The guy's like ready for the smooches. That's probably the worst case scenario is you're kissing the gay guy. He's also gay. Or maybe the, I guess best case scenario is you're both not gay. And then you, it's two straight actors.

You know, you got gotta do your makeout scene and then you finish like yo get off me bro you fuck you get off me bro i bet you liked it you freaking liked it yeah just two straight actors yeah and then they go you know what all gay roles are gonna be played by gay actors things should be like thank god okay so we can agree because then if they go you know i want this guy and then they go oh i want to make your character gay and you're gonna have this like sex scene of getting butt fucked and you go i'd love to do that but we can't because of new appropriation rules actors should be the number one male actor should be the number one dude petitioning that you know

i i'm listen i don't like all this woke stuff but they nailed it with this one it is rude of me to play a gay actor it's probably so awkward at craft services you know you got to do 12 takes the director's like you know some perv one more take please more tongue and then you finally finish you're at craft services and you know you're trying to have small talk with the guy you've just been fucking had your tongue down his throat even though you're both straight you're picking his beard hairs off of your fucking face and he's all like how's your wife what the fuck's that supposed to mean what do you mean how's my wife how's your wife tumultuous I I think that that's one of the things that the woke people got bang on you're gonna hear more of you're the good guy. They're the bad guy. I saw this,

you know, because I saw I think there is and I'm going to outline why I think the whole problem is they said this guy who's like the CEO of CNN, the idea that that you think that you're good and other people are heroes, other people are evil and you're good, I think is probably a lot of the problem with as well, you know, in addition to the COVID and the bubbles and all that stuff. Everyone's trying to tap into their hero's journey. Like, you know, I'm fighting for the good guys to try to give their life purpose, their stupid freaking worthless life's purpose.

Minus the growth part of the hero's journey. Minus the part of the hero's journey minus the part of the hero's journey where you actually kind of see the wrongness of your ways and stuff like that you know the cnn's top guys he said there's two different types of people in this world people who try to make the world a better place and those who don't And the actual truth is everyone thinks they're the fucking good guys. The real two types of people is the type of people who see the world like this and the people who know that the world isn't like this. That's the two types of people. The two types of people are people that understand that everyone's just people. You understand that someone who's like this

maybe was just born there and that could have been, you know, every one of your friends too. The people who see this person that's fucking doing some crazy shit, maybe committed a crime, maybe was a fucking gangster and you go, you know,

that could have been anyone. And then there's the type of people that say, no, there's people that are making it better and there's people who are making it worse. And there's people who are making it worse. And that's the two types of people because everyone's kind of good and everyone's kind of bad. And everyone thinks that they're the ones saving the world. Like there's very few people that are just like, I'm bad to the core and that's it. Like I've dedicated my life to fucking making others as worse. People don't see that. Everyone thinks they're fighting a just fight and doesn't. So, so first of all, your worldview's stupid.

And the second part is like, even if you do believe that worldview, there's two types of people, ones who are fighting the good fight and ones who aren't. If you believe that, ones who are fighting the good fight, and ones who aren't. If you believe that, which I think is wrong, does intent matter more than results? And that is another part that seems to be baked into that sort of thinking. Because I mean, first of all, who decides results? If you go, I'm going to change the world. Does it matter if you actually do, or is it just you get points for trying? Like I think the good things you want points on your thoughts. You want to be awarded a medal because you're like, no, no, no. But I'm trying. I'm one of, I think that I should do the right thing. And then that's how somehow worth something. Like, even if you said,

my intent is to stop pedophiles. And in the process, you made 80,000 more pedophiles, but you go, no, I'm trying. So is it worth anything or do results matter? And then the second part is what if you actually made things worse in the process of stopping your goal? I mean, you know, an easy way to stop pedophiles would be if you put a camera on everyone's head that was mandated by the government and you would never probably have another pedophile. And if you go, I don't think they should put cameras on everyone's head and they go, what are you pro pedophile? So if you take that position because the intent is I'm going to stop pedophiles and nothing else matters. Does that make you better?

And the answer is, you're wrong about your worldview. And within your worldview, it doesn't really even hold up. Because results got to matter. So just posting online, you go, but I think the right things. What did you do? Yelled at people. Started fights. I'm a citizen detective now. Does that, you know,

does that give you some sort of like moral stronghold because you had the right opinions? I'm one of the ones that's on the good side. And it's just like, you know, this is a CEO of like a huge media corporation. It's like, to me, it's just such a basic view of like how people and the world works. And that's what the gist of the internet is basic views and people arguing points that you go, you know, someone will go, Oh, communism's good. And you go, well, actually capitalism, and they go, actually it's because of this, you know, and they go, Antifa is really bad. And then someone goes, well, actually Antifa is really bad and then someone goes well actually antifa is not just an idea and you're like everyone knows these takes everyone knows the base fucking level of the argument so it's kind of like and they and everyone thinks they're so smart that other people

don't know that side where they go i even see it with the podcast sometimes i say i say something and people will be like ryan just doesn't get to this. I go, obviously I've heard that and factored it in. I might not agree with it, but like the fact that like, I just haven't presented that side of it is kind of where a lot of this stuff comes from. I feel like it's a, it's like the equivalent of, you know, you're like, I don't know if that girl's not hot and they go, no, no,

but she has really big boobs, huge boobs. And I go, seen the boobs factored that in, and I still don't think so. They're like, jugs though, the jugs. Ryan doesn't even know that she's a triple D. Jugs. And I go, seen the jugs, still agree. So they're going to have a boner for fucking censorship. People creaming their pants over the things that they can do

when people are worked up. You know, when everyone thinks, subscribes to the idea that there's one good side and one bad side, that's the first step to being like, now we get to no fly lists, even though before the no fly lists were, you know, Muslims and it was used for that. But now we know we're the good ones, just like they knew they're the good ones. And we can do all of these things, take away your rights and censor the fuck out of podcasts. Dissonant opinions are going to definitely be getting a bit of a talking to in the next coming years. So I'm going to read this article. It says extremists exploit a loophole in podcasts. And this is AP news, you know, theories, media misinformation. So to what extent are they going to come at everything and like,

you know, use this? Are they going to hype up or is it all lip service? And I think they are going to hype up. And the problem is no one cares. You know, the same reason like, oh, why would you care that someone you see as your enemy is on the no fly list? And I've mentioned this before that no one cares about your things. Like I'll be like, oh, comedy this. And you go, no one who cares that we go, but they're censoring stuff. And everyone goes, who the, what the fuck do I care? Okay. So there's less things I'll still pick whatever. Most normal people probably don't they might care for a second and then not care and I get that I remember um seeing there's there's a

there's a sketch on Schumer show and in this sketch the idea is it's a bunch of actresses that are like 45 and they're getting together at a picnic and they're celebrating one of them's 45, which means they're now at that age where they can't be hot anymore in Hollywood. And essentially the gripe there is they're like, it's kind of bullshit that when you're 45 years old, you're just like essentially like not, can't be a sexual being anymore.

You can't play any of the hot roles. You can't be a love interest. And with guys, they can do that till 60. And that's their complaint. And for me, I watch that and you're like, shut the fuck up. Oh, a famous actress, you don't get the best. And that's how they see this thing. They go, oh, sorry, you can't say crazy things on your podcast. But if you were an actress and you're 45, then you had a hot career and things were going and then all of a sudden they go,

you're done. That's the end of it. You can't play those roles anymore. Now you audition for a grandmother even though you're 45. So to them, that's the biggest thing in the world. Huge gripe. But for anyone else, they go, yeah.

So that's how most people see fucking your thing. That's how people see my thing. So I get it. And that's how the world works. So you just have to operate within it because you're not going to be able to change anyone's opinions because there's just not energy to make people care. But I think there are people that understand why people like podcasts. And this is the thing, right? They go, podcasts made available by two big tech companies to let you tune into the world of the QAnon conspiracy theories.

And then you can wallow in the President Donald Trump's false claims of stolen elections and other extremism. Accounts that have been banned on social media for the election misinformation, threatening or bullying,

and breaking rules still live as podcasts available on giant text platforms so you know sure you kick them off of everything but you haven't gotten their podcast yet we haven't adequately been able to take down podcasts one of the reasons for that is you can't they're not really shareable like that people can't argue on the comments so it's more difficult for like a podcast to be a cesspool maybe a little more on youtube but it's like those social media platforms you don't see the podcast that you don't listen to whereas like if you don't like ben shapiro you got to see his stuff getting retweeted and quote tweeted by people

that don't like you know hate listening to a podcast and they still do it so they can write their articles. But it's a little tougher to just complete. You can follow Candace Owens if you don't like her. And every time she, you can follow Donald Trump every time he posts something you don't like. But are you really going to listen to two hours of his podcast every time? You don't even, no one even sees you doing it. You're just sitting in your bedroom

listening to something you hate. And then you got to go tell people what he said. Because they, you know. So that's one of the reasons why. But the reason why people like podcasts is because of that. Like this is a place where people got to say what they honestly think. And when the media clamped down and clamped down on what they're going to say and the type of comedy they're going to allow.

And all these networks were very, very rigid on what you can say, what political opinions you have. This was a little bit of the Wild West, which is why it's so popular, which is why the mainstream, whether it's music, whether it's fucking comedy,

it's always, you know, 10 steps behind because they put on so many controls and people can tell when someone's coloring in the lines. Everyone can tell when they listen to a, you know, a Jimmy Fallon interview with a guy, nothing crazy is going to happen. One of the things people love Howard Stern is you're like, maybe something crazy won't happen, but you're like, kind of could feels a little unsafe when you're watching a certain type of comedy, you're like, feels, you know, this guy could fucking say anything.

I always loved guys that you're like, this guy's a loose cannon, dude. And there's something attractive about that to listen to because they're being honest. And now they're kind of hearing it and they're, you know, they've taken out of everything except for podcasting. Well, that's no good.

And you know what the answer is, which I think I know. Citizen detectives. I've been scrolling through the podcasts. They say one podcaster, Red Pill 78, solid, called the Capitol siege a staged event. And this goes back to the, you know, the idea, and this is one of the reasons why America was sort of what is a good country and is structured in a way that I like to move here to, is because people will always vote away their rights, whatever they are in any democracy. All you need is, you know, because if you have something something you need to vote to keep it 80 times you only need to vote to get rid of it one time so over time people will always vote away all of the things that their their rights are which is why you know america said here's the ones they can't take away you're not allowed to vote on these because of course if you did if like says

guns or speech all it would take was one president to get people riled up to vote it away. You'll never get it back. So that's why they put it in there. You can't vote on this one. It's just there. So I respect that because otherwise people will always vote for their own bedtimes. People will always vote for their own surveillance and they'll always vote for their own removaltimes. People will always vote for their own surveillance and they'll always vote for their own removal of speech. What are you allowed to think? You know, and they say they have the answers. If you go some, there's these people that, you know, worship the spaghetti God, for example, you know, there's all these different, and that one's kind of a joke,

but there's these different religions that have all, they all believe completely different things. Are you, so if Q people thought that Trump, you know, was the, you know, the, whatever it was going to come back and save the world with this information or whatever, how is that no different than someone in a religion thinking their guy's going to come back and save the world? Can they do a podcast? Are you allowed to do a podcast saying the spaghetti God is coming to save us? And I'm sure they'd say yes, but you go, yeah, but you don't have a war on the spaghetti God. You have a war on their guy.

And you go, well, we know who's the threat. No, you don't. No, you don't. well, we know who's the threat. No, you don't. No, you don't. And the answer is not, we appoint arbiters of truth and they decide who gets to say what and who doesn't. And they say, podcasting is intimate, humanizing mode of communication that lets extremists expand on their ideas for hours at a time. And Oren Segal of ADL Center of an Extremist. ADL, boner for fucking, boner for censorship.

He says that lets extremists expand on their ideas. But this is what they always kind of do. And it's like, it's the girl thing is always instead of building your own thing, you wait for other people to build something and then you sort of hijack it. And this is what they want to do. It's like, instead of saying, Hey, why don't we start our own like podcast networks? Why don't we start our own things? They go, well, no, you know, we kick these people out of the, you know, mainstream. A lot of them started podcasts because of the, you know, their opinions weren't welcome anymore. And then now that this thing's

huge and everyone listens to podcasts and is popular, we go, we want to come take it over. Start your own podcast, start your own network, say your own stuff. It's like Google owned YouTube axed Bannon's War Room, a channel for Trump's loyalist Steve Bannon on January 8th after he spread false information claims and called for the beheading of Dr. Anthony Fauci. You know, I can't imagine that that wasn't said kind of joking. And it kind of goes back to my original point. Everyone knows people are joking when it's on their fucking, you know, team. If someone on their friend said, oh, you know, we should behead Trump. Would you be like, as a citizen detective, I need to report that my friend is talking about killing the president. No, of course not. You would know, but you're, you assume that these people are your enemy. But an enemy, you don't know.

A friend, you know. So the only solution is we all become citizen detectives. I want you in your mom's briefcase. I want you in your dad's nurse's kit, because I assume that's what your parents do. Your mom's a female businessman, and your dad's a male nurse. I want you searching through their computers you know going through your dad's computer gay porn gay

porn gay porn trump memes citizen detectives is the only solution and the only way forward but until i think people if when people talk about this idea of unity, the only thing they should really be talking about is like, just remember that other people are people too. The same reason why, you know, if you want people to go to war, the idea is, you know, those people aren't people. Go kill those Vietnamese people. They're not real people.

If they want unity, if anyone does, tell the people that people are Vietnamese people. They're not real people. If they want unity, if anyone does, tell the people that people are fucking people and everyone has their own fucking story. So that's what I think. The Boyz Cats with Ryan Long is available on patreon.com slash theboyzcast where we have tons of extra episodes and I've been putting a ton of effort into them now i'm doing you know i do a solo part and then i add on interviews as well

doing lots of cool stuff over there if you're a casual listener subscribe to my clips channel on youtube i'll put that up here um tony jv5 has been nice enough to help me you know curate a lot of those clips so you want to check him out he does a lot of videos he's a cool guy very funny and he's been nice enough to help me subscribe to that and I am you know I've made some fucking business moves lately and I'm

going to announce some dates as the first start of some of that stuff so in the next little while I've decided I am going to start doing select touring dates I'm going to do a little tour test the waters then I'm going to do a big decided I am going to start doing select touring dates. I'm gonna do a little tour, test the waters. Then I'm gonna do a big one. I'm gonna be coming at you. Boys, 2022. Trust the plan. Citizen detectives. Peace.