The Boyscast with Ryan Long - LIVE From Skankfest ft. TJ Miller, Kurt Metzger, Justin Silver & Jake Shields

Episode Date: October 10, 2023

Comedians TJ Miller, Kurt Metzger, Justin Silver and mixed martial artist Jake Shields join the boys LIVE from Skankfest Vegas 2023 to count down the 30 annoying things men need to stop doing in a relationship, and then invite 5 audience members to share their worst relationship stories. SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! Sheath - Go to sheathunderwear.com and enter promo code BOYSCAST for 20% off your order Salty Sailor Coffee - Go to saltysailorcoffee.com and use promo code BOYSCAST15 at checkout for 15% off your order SUPPORT THE BOYSCAST: https://www.patreon.com/theboyscast http://ryanlongcomedy.com MERCH - ryanlongstore.com Ryan @ryanlongcomedy Danny @dannyjokes LEAVE US A FIVE STAR REVIEW! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I can do the beginning. I can do the beginning part of breakdancing. I can do the first part. Come on! Thank you, TJ. Oh, you can't beat that, Justin? It's a high kick. Now will you dance with me, Justin? Now will you dance with me? You fucked up.

The boys. The boys. The lads. The boys. The dudes. We've heard your songs for a boy's cast. The bros. The boys.

The homies. The boys. The dudes. Experience the boys. The homies. The dudes. The boys. The cast. What a squad. What a squad.

Skink, that's how we're doing. What's happening? We have me, Danny Poloshuk. You know him. Give it up for us. Thanks for coming out, everybody. He's a Ukrainian veteran that fought the Russians in World War II. I fought the Soviets. And then we have Jake Shields in the building.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He is, how was that fight? Are you not fighting 10 trans women? Is that not what's happening? I've been trying to. Maybe next year here. I told Lewis I'd set it up. I can't get him to fight me.

Jake Shields, we just pulled him from backstage five seconds ago because TJ Miller's doing juggalo shit. So if I totally bomb, it's not my fault. I'm like drunk. We got a real man here. I guess. By the way, Jake Shields is also a great porn name if you want to do a different thing.

That's not a bad idea. We've been better than fighting. Nah. You get your shit? a great porn name if you want to do a different thing. Not a bad idea. Would have been better than fighting. Nah, the boys don't wear no shield when we're fucking, huh? And then we have the legend Kurt Metzger in the building. That's right. I never once wore a condom.

Sheepskin. And you know him, you love him. Give it up for Justin Silver. What's up? Okay, we have a lot of stuff planned. But first of all, we all went to the Rippers. Did you guys go to the strip club? So I don't know if you saw what happens with the strippers here.

This is what they do. They sidle up beside and they go, hey, how was your day? You have a good day? And you go, oh yeah, I don't know. Was the festival cool? You go, okay. And they go, so that how was your day? You have a good day? And you go, oh, yeah, I don't know. They go, was the festival cool? You go, okay. And they go, so that's 80 bucks.

Brian, sex work is real work, okay? Dude, even Corinne Fisher, who loves prostitutes. Oh, my God, this. This, go ahead. She was getting fired up. She was like, show some fucking titty, man. Do something. This chick sat down at a table, started smoking our hookah,

asked for a shot, asked what brand it was because it had to be the right brand for her, and then it was like, oh, you want to tip me for that? She's like, I'm prettier than you. Pardon me, but Joe DeRosa paid good money for that service. If you know what I mean.

But yeah, so what we have here, I've curated a list of all these articles on the internet that are the 30 annoying things that men need to stop doing in a relationship. Just 30? Wait, where is this list from? As we said, Kurt said he wants to make sure that their list coincides with his list. Yeah.

Of shit men need to get their act together. There's one of them shitting when she has to take a shower every time. All the shit women need to stop doing. No, I can't wait. Stop shaving your back hair in my shower. And then, okay, so we're going to do that. And then we're going to do a portion of the show where any dude who has the craziest story of a shit chicks did to him or a chick, probably more likely we'll line up and the one who we will judge it.

And the winner gets a hundred dollars. Yeah. Which one of you has been wronged the worst? Oh, there's a few of us. All right, here we go. Should we do that first?

No. Okay. We'll do that second. That's a hundred smackers. That is 35 seconds of a Vegas stripper talking to you. We're about to hear some real dark shit, too. Yeah.

We're all going to be in tears. We're going to be like, oh, God. This guy's weird. Is that your chick right there? New chick? Yeah, she's the cool one. The last one, though, fucking did him real dirty. I wonder who the last one's stories.

Just the last five chicks were crazy. The last one has custody, let's just say that. Oh, I know the story of the last chick, by the way. I won't blow it, but it's bad. Temporary, temporary. He has had one of those classic scenarios where the last six chicks had a propensity of deserving it. Okay, we'll start. So, Danny, you can read number one.

Okay. A lot of these are classic. Like, we're talking Al Bundy shit. 30 annoying things men need to stop doing in a relationship. Yeah. From best of online. Okay. Okay, number one.

Slash annoying husband habits. What? This is shit that if we could improve, we would be perfect. Guys, we already are perfect. Okay. Number one. Acting like a complete baby when you have even a slight sniffle. I do that.

I feel like Jake doesn't do that. Yeah, I pretend like I'm not sick. Jake's like, you show no weakness ever. I go about my day, yeah, I never. I'll drink all night, do drugs all night, and still go train. Jake's got her in a... Jake's like, you do not show vulnerability in a relationship. I refuse to show weakness. I had COVID and I still worked out. She knows not

to tell you, you know, she doesn't want to tell you shit like that. She ends up in a full Nelson again. I love that you use WWE terms for someone who's a legit fighter. He's like, what? You're going to jump off the top rope? We don't do that. By the way, one of the

best things to do to a girl, okay, maybe this is going to sound bad, but take her out to a nice dinner. You say to a girl? If they're misbehaving, and I'm not. Misbehaving? Whoa. Hey, Sean Connery, slow down.

There goes my God fucks bandage. We give them a slapping. Actually, Jake, you can tell me if this is going to, okay. Because obviously, you know, in America, you can't, you know, do what's necessary. No, I'm just kidding. It's not an issue. obviously, you know, in America you can't, you know, do what's necessary. No, I'm just kidding. But if you put a girl in a figure four and apply no pressure, is that not the

perfect thing? I mean, I do it all the time, so I think it's legal. Dude, this was a 30 on 30 episode. A what? What is it, 30 for 30 on HBO with sports shit? You know Mayhem Miller? He legitimately What is it, 30 for 30 on HBO with sports shit? And they had, you know Mayhem Miller? He legitimately... I used to really like that.

I mean, I like him. I haven't seen him in a long time. He does real domestic violence. No, dude, it was a special. They go, are these guys too violent? And he goes, why would I even have to hit a girl? I could just turn her off. Just sleep them?

Yeah. I mean, you definitely... He probably wasn't joking is the worst part. That guy's been in jail for domestic violence. These guys at a frat party... He's a bad example. Guys at a frat party are like, we do that a different way.

That is, you can definitely see a girl, you know, kind of 10 years later if like multiple ex-girlfriends came out and they're like yeah he kept putting me in the figure four it was a joke he was into it i'm like i'm a clown but okay the slight well wait a figure four for sex reasons or like just like speaking out of turn? No, no, no. I shouldn't have said this. I didn't see Twilight, dude. You gotta tell me. You so should have said this.

Ryan regrets this instantly. No, you know when you were a kid and you just wrestle around and you put someone to figure it forward, but he's just saying don't apply the pressure. Just lock it on. Okay, no, I don't, but I will tell you this. My two best friends growing up, Jehovah's Witness friends, I found out years later they used to wrestle all the time

until their dicks got hard. Years later. No, but no, I never did do that. Are they still in the church? No. That's why I stopped doing the figure four because one of these chicks' dicks got hard. And now Jake wants to fight her.

I'm trying to find someone to fight me. Wait, who's the guy, that DuPont guy that killed the fucking wrestler that made a movie of him? DuPont, that's the guy. DuPont, yeah. You just said the guy DuPont. It was the,

what was it, the Fox thing? The guy DuPont. Who's that guy DuPont? Yeah, DuPont. The Fox catcher. Fox catcher, okay. So he wanted to be a wrestler, right? He's like a rich guy.

He didn't want to be a wrestler. He just wanted to fuck wrestlers. He was just crazy, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he wanted to be a wrestler, right? He's like a rich guy. He didn't want to be a wrestler. He just wanted to fuck wrestlers. He was just crazy, yeah. Okay, so he invented a move called the Foxcatcher Five, and he would just grab your dick and balls. It made them really uncomfortable. What was the five? There was so little money in wrestling,

those guys would go there and appease them. They would wrestle from them in their singlets, and they would pretend like they would lose to them. It's a sad story. Oh, dude, you did see that documentary? It's awesome. He didn't have balls. I think he just wanted to feel what balls felt like.

He didn't have balls? You know anything about the DuPont family? I watched the movie with Steve Carell. Is anybody from the Pennsylvania area? Okay, DuPont. They make good paint. The DuPont family is notorious for inbreeding. Oh.

So when I was in college, there's always Pennsylvania kids like, yeah, we used to work there fucking, they'd have like a family reunion and it'd be like the Addams family. Like there's legends of how flippery arm they are. Yeah. If you look it up,

the guy's like, we got to keep our blood pure. It's just all Uncle Festers. Yes. That's just all Uncle Fester's. Yes. That's exactly what it is. Keeping the blood pure rarely works out. Isn't that what the Jews do? All right.

So the slight snickle before we move on, and girls don't know this, but when you're sick and you don't want to go to the doctor and you're kind of playing up the sickness, you're doing that for her because it's nice to let them feel like they need it. Well, they're nurturers by, yeah, they're nurturers. Yeah, and they're, you know, you're like, it's kind of like keeping them busy, right? Sure. How old is your girl, dude? I think you never show weakness around girls.

She's retired. Let me do your laundry, Ryan. Like, come on, ma. She's retired. Let me do your laundry, Ryan. Like, come on, Ma. You've never done that? I'm telling you, I always do it. You know what I'm talking about.

Of course I do that. Yeah, you ham it up, and they go, I'll make soup. You go, look at her and her element. Are you Tradmuz? I am. Are you Tradmuz? I am. Are you Tradmuz? It's the way to go. You can't put a burka on them, but you can pull the nurse outfit up right to the eyes.

So you know it's on. You can tell it's for COVID. Okay. Number two. Danny, you want to read this? All right. Number two. Responding to.

No. These are the 30 annoying things that men need to stop doing in a relationship. Responding to. Do I look to read this? All right, number two. Responding to... No. These are the 30 annoying things that men need to stop doing in a relationship. Responding to, do I look fat in this with anything but you look beautiful? Hang on. Is this retarded?

If they say honesty is important in this thing, then that's going to contradict. Yeah. Do women contradict themselves? Wow. Wait, is this whole thing going to be about my mom? Boys, boys, boys. Wow.

47-year-old Justin Silver just figured out that women might contradict themselves sometimes. The things you learn. He's making a good point, though. They do like honesty, except for when it comes to them getting really fat. Well, that brings up a good question, though. What do you do if she puts on, you know, a bill? I want to ask only Jake. Jake, what do we do?

What kind of regimen are they on? That's true, yeah. I think as soon as they gain a few pounds, you've got to tell them early. They don't get happy, but they go and lose it. Be like, you're getting fat. They'll go cry, but they'll lose the weight. That's been my experience. You can't let them put on too much weight, but they go and lose it. Be like, you're getting fat. Don't go cry, but they'll lose the weight. That's been my experience. You can't let them put on too much weight

or they can't lose it. You know that has been his experience. My friends are the same to me. If I gain five pounds, they'll brutally fat shame me. It's better to catch it early. You got to do the same to the girls. Early, be like, hey, hon, you're getting fat. Go lose the weight. The talk's not going to go good. They're going to

yell at you. They're going to probably cry, but they'll lose the weight it's not the talk's not gonna go good they're gonna yell at you they're gonna like probably cry but they'll lose the weight are you Samoan or what they're gonna lose the weight in pounds or tears one of the two

you don't know what you do till it happens you know yeah Jake I've never had that situation Jake would you just consider would you just replace

all your girls clothes with garbage bags just having all my clothes' clothes with garbage bags? Just having all my clothes. They're in the closet. What are you talking about? As soon as the clothes don't fit. What? For all your clothes?

For garbage? Because you're garbage. Because you're too fat. They don't fit you anymore. You're sweating out. You're sweating out. What should I make of you? No, yeah, you're being like a super athletic guy.

You have a better thing. You go, no, I'm not saying you're too fat. I'm just, we're a sporty couple. Yeah, we got to do it together. Yeah, we're going on a course. We have a better thing. You go, no, I'm not saying you're too fat. I'm just, we're a sporty couple. Yeah, we gotta do it together. Yeah, we're going on a course. We have to look good. I'm a health guy. Did you see that document? And from a health perspective, you're grossing me out.

I'm getting disgusted and I can't get hard. That's the same thing Lizzo said to her dancers. Yeah. Did you see a documentary about that skinny church? Weren't they like eating like bananas out of her pussy or something? That's how they were paid for their labor.

That's on the Patreon. Eat a banana out of my pussy. Did you see that? What was it? It's like about a skinny church. Some lady was like... Naxium? No. Can we get the monitor on here if you don't mind? Yeah, we need a monitor. Can we get the monitor on here if you don't mind? Yeah we need a monitor

Can we turn the monitors on if you don't guys don't mind Yeah is that fine? I thought you were talking about Nexium Because that was kind of a skinny church No the Nexium guy did keep them in line Yeah he kept them He goes you're only allowed to have 600 calories a day A lot of the Nexium guys

How they found out about it Is like the girls were like deathly ill skinny. Yeah. I call that just looking good. The Jake Shields formula. So I'm going to motivate you to be the best you can be. Yeah. Okay, what's the other documentary?

Does anybody know what I'm talking about? It was like this chick that ran a skinny church where you had to be skinny. Oh, the blonde chick? What is it? I have no idea. Here, Google it. Kurt, imagine this documentary. Did I dream this?

It's the blonde chick, right? Yeah. She lives on the compound. Yeah. I think I watched that first. And then as she would get skinnier, her hair would get fatter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She got real Tammy Faye Baker crazy.

And you know what? I didn't see no problem with her message. Yeah. Did people die? She died in see no problem with her message. Yeah. Did people die? She died in a plane crash. Justin's producing here. There it is. Gwen Shamblin.

Okay. Skinny church documentary. Sir, with the aviators, do you know? I don't know. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Anyways, all women are perfect queens. That'd be a funny place to go try to run pickup artist game at.

Vegas pickup artist outside. At the Skinny Church? Skinny Church. Dude, they're all so low energy. They probably just all kind of just take your works. You know what would be funny outside the Skinny Church? That's where you set up a scale kind of as they walk by and then be like, oh, someone had a couple extra today, huh?

Dude, you take them on Fremont Street to the place that you got to be 350 pounds. 350 to eat for free. That's a... All eight of you get to eat for free, one meal. I brought a trough to the skinny church. Okay, so if a girl does that, and girls... This is the thing, though. You almost can't say...

You have to somewhere go in the middle, because if you say you look beautiful, you are encouraging it, and black. They also know you're lying. Yeah, they'll know, they'll take it. They'll know. You could segue and be like, is anyone heterosexual on this page? What's the heterosexual answer? Oh, your heterosexual answer is like, there's no thing that's fat. The bigger the better?

Like Dan O'Connor. What's the biggest chick you ever dated? Dated? Or fucked. Hey! I don't even know what the fuck you're talking about. Ladies and gentlemen, well, oh yeah. Give it up for Jake Shields for coming here.

Much appreciated. I dated a woman who was 351 pounds. And we ate for free at the heart attack grill. Yeah. What's that? Well, she did, but I snuck a little bit of a salad. Oh, we can just switch it? Okay, yeah.

Jake, stay in. He's not gone. Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake. And because of that, I'm leaving! TJ, TJ. No, I don't know. Ladies and gentlemen, TJ Miller

in the house. All right. For the full Jägermeister. This is just Jägermeister. Hell yeah. Yeah, if we could get some shots up here, that'd be cool. Okay. And Ryan, this is my first time on BoyzCast.

It's just a bunch of boys up here acting like boys. And whenever they say something that is a veiled racist or misogynist to comment we all say boys will be boys there's no veiled misogynist very overt we're just we're very open racist and misogynist all right for the next segment we're going to race genders best to worst there's only two what are you talking about? You know, I could go either way with non-binary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So can they.

So, DJ, what we're doing, these are a curated article of the 30 most annoying things that men need to stop doing in a relationship, and we are currently on number three, which... No, two, two. No, we're moving on from number two. BBD. The consensus on number two was you tell her early and often that she's put on weight. I recommend every morning.

Nip it in the bud. Every morning, wake up. See something, say something. Morning weigh-ins, just like a real fighter every day. TJ hasn't weighed in. Girl puts on 30 pounds. What do we do? She puts on 30 pounds?

Try and figure out where she put it. I want to know where it went and how I can get my hands on it. You know why? Because I want it back, okay? That was my 30 pounds. She took it, put it on. I'll find it and take it right the fuck off. All right.

I don't know. You know, I haven't dated. What's the largest woman you've dated? I would be Danny's mom. I like a big chick. Dated is different than fucked around with.

Answer the question. Justin is a mom of 200 pounds. Could be. And what did her left leg weigh? Dude, I like playing in the mud. I've told you that. It's like playing in the mud. It's gross, but it feels good.

We all need a friend that takes on the fat shit. I'll do it. I think, you know what? I think it would be funny if I just come on and I answer these as sincerely as possible. Yeah. Well, I think if a girl gained 30 pounds, I'd say, what's going on? You know, are you eating because you're sad? Are you sad because you're eating? Because if you don't feel good inside, then you're not going to be able to feel good outside no matter what you weigh. And listen, I'm pregnant. So listen, let's sit down and try and fuck you until that baby comes out. It's not my plan.

You have to sort of be nice to them. You go, listen, I want to give you the combination of the padlock on the fridge, but... Okay, let's move on to number three. I think just encourage her to see herself as worth taking care of. She has work. That seems like a lot of work, to be honest. No, no, I think that's good, but what's better is she walks in and you just have curated pictures of her mom looking really fat

and you're just always kind of perusing that catalog. Oh, I'm just looking at your mom. They say you marry your wife's mother. Your wife. Yeah, that's true. Number three your wife's mother. Your wife. Yeah. That's true. Number three. Let's go.

Let's go. Oh, you do. Okay. Telling the worst jokes and insisting they're funny. Dude, we're all hilarious. I don't know anything about that. It does not apply to us. Well, that is funny.

Yeah, girl. As if my girl doesn't laugh. Our jokes are great. I go, did you take my notes? Did you take my notes? These chicks are too dumb to get her jokes. This is tried and tested. Sitting at breakfast being like,

I'm bombing. I think I would say, do you really not think these jokes are funny? Or do you feel like you live in a society where they say women are funny, which isn't true. Women have a tough time because society is really oppressing your sense of humor. Because a sense of humor is a sign of intelligence.

And women are told don't be smarter than the guy that you're going on a date with. You were raised in Yemen also? What's that? So, yeah, I think, you know, you got to turn around and see, because she's been eating a lot lately. She's put on weight, and now she's saying, that's not funny. That's a racist thing to say. It's a bigger picture.

Yeah, it is a bigger picture. Yeah. It's the silver bullet. Also, another option is show her a tape of that joke working at the Funny Bone in Omaha. You know how many likes I got on Twitter on that? It was hilarious. It's the only way I can cum. I love you play her video of you killing with that joke at the Funny Bone.

And then you just put it down. She's silent because now she knows she's wrong and you slowly push a to-go container of chicken tenders across to her. Say, that's from the Funny Bone. The audience says you were wrong.

But you guys work the Funny Bone a lot. Yeah, I like it. I don't have any Funny Bone gigs. That's what I call it when a girl bone a lot. Yeah, I like it. I don't have any funny bone gigs. That's what I call it when a girl has a dick. That's what Joe DeRosa calls I've been making this joke at every single show.

Me too. Here's the thing. The only way I can get my head around it, okay, because he showed us a picture of her Instagram, and I was like, I get it. She's beautiful. And then I saw her in real life, and she's bigger than me.

Yeah. Her frame. She's not a heavyset woman, so I didn't have to talk to her about it. She'd put on more than 30. And stop it. And so the only way I can make it work in my head is that Joe DeRosa gave a woman a handjob

and then got his dick sucked by a guy. But he didn't make her cum. What a fucking asshole. That's what you pay 3K for. He's really legendary. But I mean, I saw her and it's like,

I really, Instagram, I was like, I get it. I do. I'm progressive. I can do it. And then I saw her in real life and I's like I really Instagram I was like I get it I do I'm progressive I can do it you know and then I saw her in real life and I was like I don't get it I don't get this I just wouldn't be able to jack off a woman well unless you look at you know what when you say it

that way me neither unless you look at your eyes unless you look at her eyes and she looks into your eyes and as you're jacking her off, she just locks eyes with you and says, I'm a woman. You're jacking off a woman. I'm a woman.

This is a woman's dick. This is my dick and I'm a woman. Jack, jack, jack. You're a good, straight little boy. Go, go, go. If you don't make me come, I'm going to tell everybody that I sucked your dick.

You're not giving me head. You're getting a throat massage. That sounds straight to me. Wait, Joe DeRosa owns a sandwich place. I should mention that. Yeah, I think that woman has a sandwich named after her now.

It's a hot dog. Yeah. Yeah. It's a hot dog. Fatality. In the scope. Fatality. It's giving a shout out for hot dogs right now.

Oh, I love a good dog. Shout out to Joey Chestnut. What other things should I change? All right, number four or five, only when they only pretend to listen. So a lot of times, you know. Wait, wait, when we only pretend to listen. So a lot of times, you know. Wait, wait. When we only pretend to listen? When they don't like it.

For how long? I'm legitimately deaf, dude. I thought pretending to listen was the nice thing to do. Yeah, we can't really listen. You're supposed to actually listen? I took one earbud out. Yeah. You take the earbud out on the side of them

and then you have the one on the other side. More than fair. I just had a conversation with a comic. I'm not going to tell you who it is. He's autistic. That does not narrow it down. The term is smart-hearted. And he said, he goes,

you know what I find works in the relationship is if she comes home and she says, like, good news or something, to, like, be excited about it. Like, to be like, that's good. Way to go. Or I like that. And I was like, you mean, like,

feign actual emotions and feelings and stuff? And he's like, yeah, that's it. Fucking autistic. We all know who this is. Did you's like, yeah, that's it. Fucking autistic. We all know who this is. Did you not watch Dexter or something? Yeah. A big part of this list is lie to them. That's for sure.

I mean, that's the best simple advice. I'll listen, but if in the middle of the story, after a few minutes, I go, can you get to the bottom line? Does that count? You say that to your mom. Give me the bottom line. When she's not weighing

30 pounds more than she should, yeah. I say that to my mother. God damn it. Alright, so listening is not an option. Not going to the doctor. We're already at two medical related ones. It's my body.

I don't wear condoms. I don't go to the doctor. It's my body. It's my body. I don't wear condoms and I don't go to the doctor. Hey, Justin. It's my body. It's my choice. No woman's going to tell me what to do with my body. That's Justin's joke. That's Justin's joke. That's what I say about pegging.

It's my body, my choice. And I choose my body. You know what? She didn't say that. She didn't say that. Here's my skank fest joke. It's the only one.

She doesn't like when I don't go to the doctor. After Plan B didn't work, she didn't want to go to the doctor to get an abortion. See, I'm skanky. Another one. Yeah, going to the doctor, I'm skanky. Another one. Yeah, going to the doctor, I will say. Actually, I got to show you this. I got conned into going to the doctor because I got a bump on my head, right? I went to the doctor.

What kind of bump? Like a herpes? Well, I'll show you. You guys can feel it. Everybody feel the bump. It's a pretty big bump. You signed up for the boys' past Patreon. You should go to the doctor, Ryan.

Did a spider come out of it? That could be cancer. Feel that. Quiet. Let me feel. He's a unicorn. So I go to the doctor. The doctor, he takes one feel.

He goes, yeah, I wouldn't do anything about that. $700. USA. USA. USA.700. USA. USA. USA. USA. Dude, I'll fucking blow my leg off before I see one of those fucking con artist bastards.

What about you? How have you done? I'm so good at the doctor. They're worse than veterinarians. We learned to give our own stitches to avoid going to the doctor at the gym. So a couple guys learned to do stitches. We had to stitch each other up. Thank you. That's how I get the doctor.

Are there guys who are better at stitches than other guys? Oh, yeah. Dude, they told him to go to the doctor at the gym. So a couple guys learned to do stitches. We had to stitch each other up. Thank you. And are there guys who are better at stitches than other guys? They told him to go to the doctor to get his ears fixed. Is that what you mean? Yeah, fuck that. You know what's funny? That's his reality. That's like Justin's imagined reality. It really is. That's the man I want to be.

Two lives from now. He's at the gym like, one day I'll stitch a man's forehead closed. That's right, I'm close to it, baby! Give it to me, mama! The crazy part is we let some random dude stitch us. Looking back, like, maybe I should have gone to the doctor. But I'm alive.

Yeah, I think you and I are a little different. I went to my doctor in Manhattan, and afterwards, same deal. They were like, it's $895. It's $800 if you pay cash. And I was like, but he didn't do anything. And she goes, but you're getting the best care. And I was like, sometimes the best care is no care at all. And you sit there for like four hours waiting to get stitched.

Yeah, dude, I will say this bump has been getting bigger recently. Go back to Canada. Wow. Wow. Look, that's what people do. Not for healthcare, just go back. That is traditionally what people do. You guys, you guys.

He should go back to Canada. I thought we were past that in this country. No, more than ever, we're not past that. Get out! See what's going on at that southern border? Yeah.

America's asshole just got raped. Yeah. Next is, the women say men need to change. Very annoying when men contradict her around her friends. Around friends in general. You don't do that immediately to establish dominance in the group. need to change. Very annoying when men contradict her around her friends. What? Around friends in general.

You don't do that immediately to establish dominance in the group. That's the thing. You always say sorry about her to her own friend group. And I say it to Nadine. I give a sincere, so they know I'm sorry. I go, I'm sorry. Sorry. And they appreciate the empathy and that I'm the alpha of the situation.

You've learned this, I'm sure. Yeah, it's true. It's contradicting her around friends. So there are those around her friends, because I know she doesn't like when I contradict her around my friends, because they're all like, dumb bitch!

Yeah, you got fucking had, bitch! You got Millard! I always have to say, nobody's gaslighting you, you dumb bitch. I like being gaslit. There, I said it. I'm different. But I don't like saying I did it. So what you're supposed to do is you go, yeah, we left the house.

She goes, we left the house at 7 when you actually left at 6 and you just have to sort of sit there and take it. Yeah, just lie. See, if they don't want you to lie, and then here they want you to lie. When do you tell them to work for your webcam thing? That's later on in the Loverboy method. She's telling her friends, yeah, he's paying me 20%.

Sorry, I have to do 10%. Come on. Going to take a quick second here from the madness at Skankfest to tell you about Sheath Underwear, who just moments before the episode was recorded, you know, there's the Sheath stage here at Skankfest. Big supporter of comedy. I got them on right now.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Through and through man and me and the founder of that company we were hanging out for like hours because he's a very very cool guy super supportive of comedy and it's the only underwear I have and I have enough of them right now

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separating oh yeah yeah i never thought about that yeah yeah and that's a like kind of a selling point but i never really occurred to me yeah yeah so it sort of has like all these random benefits but yeah keeps it off your leg especially if you're in somewhere hot you're working out just daily you're out for a long day sheath underwear everyone we knows on it uh pouch for the balls revolutionary underwear aren't they bamboo they have the bamboos one of them yeah so they have a whole bunch of different options it's the most comfortable boxer briefs you'll ever put on your body stretchy fabric made of moisture wicking technology they're super soft they actually look very good on the body yeah

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wears them. I honestly think this will be something that in probably 20 years like everyone, it becomes way more of the norm. SheathUnderwear.com promo code BOYSCAST for 20% off your order. No longer thinking it's necessary to seduce her that's a question if

you're in a if you're with a chick for like a couple years are you seducing people why the fuck would you have a girlfriend stop with this after you're with somebody for a year and you've seen them like take a shit we're gonna be like hey but come on you're watching chicks take shit that is a specific geographic location. Yeah, it's not casual. That means something that you said that. Listen, if I've had the sniffles in front of you and you've seen me sit...

I've been with my girl for a year. I don't even know if she shits, dude. Yeah, you gotta have a policy. What are you trying to say? Hey, I went to a festival with this chick. I was in the port-a-potty for eight hours. She didn't come by once. While he was jacking off. I don't even believe you that women shit.

What type of shit are we taking, boys? Woo, woo, woo, woo. I think it's weird when they say, you never want to seduce me while you're having sex with them. Yeah. They're like, why don't you ever... I'm like, you were having sex.

Yeah, this worked on that. Would you say, hey, what are you doing later? Right. That's what I say. You live in my house. I know I'm going to be able to fuck you. I've already seduced you. Don't need to do it again.

Listen, if you got a shit now, you should probably go first. I opened the cage. Did I not? What counts as seducing her? Yeah. Because I think flowers. I think they should be... I think they want Mario Lopez.

I've never met a girl who you bring her flowers, and she's like, you're not doing enough for me, okay? So it's such an easy, is that seduction? Flowers? I asked these two girls right here. Yeah. Is bringing flowers,

is that a sort of seduction by the man? Yeah, it sounds like an apology. Yeah, that's what you fuck up. Oh, it's an apology. Are you cheating on me? That's when you fuck up. That's not what you're trying to say. We didn't do anything wrong.

That's when you got caught cheating or something. It looks like you brought flowers home in one relationship. You're making apologize. That's what it sounds like. If you randomly buy a girl flowers, she's going to assume you cheated. Really?

What is going on? I like that. Yeah, yeah. The girl goes, why don't you ever buy me flowers? What, so you can think I'm fucking other bitches? Why the fuck did you buy me these? Who'd you fuck?

That's a great, yes! I know, you're self-snitching? That's Andrew Tame 101, dude. The lady doth protest too much, and then a joke like that that doesn't work. Jake, you don't do any of that shit. Of course not.

I want you to date the chick. Yeah. See, I just never seduce them to begin with. Oh, yeah. And then she can't be like, you don't seduce me anymore. I'm like, I never seduce you to begin with. I pay the goddamn rent, bitch. I'm sorry.

Danny had a book called The Art of Seductions. I've read it. We had the book. Have you read it? We both got a copy right here. You're a samurai, Alfred. It has an all black cover. And I bought the book cover for it.

Shout out Robert Greene. Danny bought a book. They sent him two. This is what actually happened. They sent Danny two copies of The Art of Seduction because they're like, read it twice, right? But then that wasn't good enough for him. He started reading the audio book.

Listening. Yeah, in my car. In his car. You say reading. So girls would come. By the way, you guys see this thing. So he would turn his car on with the girl in and he would go, when seducing, you're a victim.

He goes, oh, I'm sorry, sorry. I just listened to something earlier. Dude, how much do you get laid from that? I would do that as a plan. It's an insane amount. But no, the best part is in the book, Art of Seduction, they refer to the person you're trying to seduce, even if it's not like a sexual thing, as the victim.

Are you serious? Oh, it's so crazy. Like a predator prey. Yeah, they just called them the victim. Justin, you know the book. 100% I know the book. That's problematic. Yeah, he kind of ghost wrote the book.

Watch this. I'll ask Danny questions from the book. How's your inner game versus your outer game, Danny? I don't know. Justin's going to pull out a deck of cards right now and show a girl a trick. I'm a coxswain, Ryan. Run a set on the street.

I feel like I'm in Al Pacino's Cruisin' right now. Does Vegas have a lot of pickup artists still? Is that a thing still? They do magic as well. Yeah, they all do magic. A top hat and a scarf. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They all have a top hat, scarf, deck of cards.

A fuzzy hat. Fuzzy hat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They all have a top hat, scarf, deck of cards. Fuzzy hat. Fuzzy hat. Stand out. You're saying like guys that pick up girls or girls that pick up guys? Like those pick up artists. Girls don't know how to pick up guys. I think it sounds like escorts.

I almost lost $600 to a stripper at the Peppermint Hippo because she was so good at her job. No dicks. so good at her job. No digs. So good at her job. And I got away from it. I didn't do it, but I was like, I don't think I want to

do this. And she's like, well, why are you thinking about it? Just come and just do it. Just don't think. Like a subprime mortgage loan. Dude, you're the victim getting seduced. Yeah, exactly. I was like, it's just $500 just seems like a lot. And she goes, that's, you're the victim getting seduced. Yeah, exactly. I was like, it's just $500. It seems like a lot.

And she goes, that's because you're thinking about tomorrow. You need to think about tonight. What? Because there is no tomorrow yet, but tonight is right now. That's how they get you. Shout out to the Paramount Hemp Hub. Always be closing. I had an existential crisis, but I left without money in my pocket

because I didn't succumb. I was not going to be a victim of her seduction. I did buy a timeshare from her. Are you serious? I bought fucking an NFT from that bitch. You sound like a flutter. No, but I was responsible. I took that $500,

and I lost it at the crafts table an hour later. Well, you know what? I respect that more. This next one is hilarious. Okay, Justin, we'll do the next one. I don't even know a man that would... Some like tickling too much. So apparently a thing that guys do that's annoying is tickling too much.

Wait, wait, wait. This sounds very specific. Is this like gay guys? Does it mean me tickling or me being tickled? The guy, I guess whoever wrote this article has dated multiple men who are coming home like, well, here they are. She has a lot of uncles.

Did you just say, well, here they are? That's how you tickle? It's coming to you, well, here they are? That's how you tickle? It's coming to you, see? Well, here they are. Where what are? Your armpits, yeah. Well, show me proper tickling form. Gotta use a feather.

You can use me as the doll. Right. All right. Inside. Inside. Inside. Inside. For the audio listeners, TJ is inside the woman. Well, there they are. You know what's funny?

Some like tickling too much. It sounds like she's like, they like to tickle me. But it would be weird if she was saying that they... She is saying that. Every time she comes home, I'm kind of like, oh, my armpits are out. Dude, this is not specific. Daddy's tickling.

For all you know, her niece complained to her. This is the type of stuff, more like girls tickle you, and that's what gets them in the figure four, if I'm being honest. You don't go from the tickle to the figure four. The figure four. But that's so funny because Ryan's for sure. Go for it, just right to the figure four.

Ryan's for sure putting his girl in the figure four. Figure four is a fun bit. Does everybody? Yeah. What is that? Is there any guys here that, like, on a more than every two-month basis, tickle their chick? No.

Is there a woman here that, like, has this complaint? That sounds like a saying. I've never heard of this. I'm going to go tickle the chick. Hold on. It's Skank Fest. Is there a woman here? It looks similar to the bike crowd.

All men. So, get out. Which woman has the biggest cock? Yeah, this definitely sounds like one weirdo trying to squeak her line into here. These are just her problems with her boyfriend. Specifically. That's all of Journalism.

It's about the girl they love. All the blogging is that. Here's the thing all men do, and it's just like the problems with your boyfriend. I hate it when Tony spends too much time at John's house. Yeah, she does. She goes, hates it when he's spending so much time at Jonathan's house. It would be amazing if it was just her boyfriend and she wrote this.

She's like, did you read my historical? Isn't it about how men are? Well, I don't want to read it if it's about tickling again. Because we talked about that. I like it! If you make me go to the doctor, I get to tickle your toesies. If you're not funny, just be loud.

Well, my friends won't let me do it, so who can I tickle? The neighbor's kids are apparently off limits as well. That's so funny. You slam the door. Someone's got to get these fingers. If I can't tickle you, who can I tickle? My mother's dead.

Excuse me. Sitting on the bathroom, a ridiculous amount of... Boys, boys, boys, boys. Boys, boys, boys, boys. It's the only room that has a lock. I have a goddamn hemorrhoid. That's not fair. Are we supposed to do speed shits or what?

Yeah, yeah. I call that room the tickle den. The tickle den. Jesus Christ. Sorry it smells in here. I've been in here for ridiculous amount of time. It would be a shame. Now give me those pits.

Jesus Christ. Welcome to the tickle den. Are we taking long shits boys what are we thinking oh yeah I'm down my legs are my legs are falling asleep for sure Danny's for sure a lot shitter it's the only room that has a lock in my house it's the one thing I don't like to rush gotta take your time yeah are you taking big shit Are you taking big shit? This is a podcast.

Sometimes I just go in there to hang out. Boycast will be boycast. I'm going to read. I can find something in all you guys. Yeah. Boyscast. Some boy shit. All right.

I sort of, I don't want her to think of me illy. You know, I don't want her to have an ill opinion of me. So what I do is I don't go into the bathroom ever. I defecate into a slingshot. And then, when she comes in the room, I go, what the hell happened to the refrigerator? She'll go over there, and then I'll

slingshot the defecation. Is this a tech startup? Because I'll invest in it. It is. And it goes across the street into an apartment that I rent that is just now, it's an open window. I keep the open window all the time. And it's just a huge

apartment filled with mess, with human waste. And so I think it's really helped our love life because a lot of times she'll be like, do you even know where my clitoris is? I don't believe in it.

Well, can I tell what happened to me? And I'm sorry, but I just feel comfortable with you guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Share away. This is a safe space. Hold on, Kurt. Can I set the mood? Please do. Thanks, man. Thanks. My girl's doing some bullshit in the sink if you don't mind? Please do. Thanks, man. Thanks. Safe space.

My girl's doing some bullshit in the sink, you know, and so I had to go to the bathroom. So I started to pee, and I had to fart, like, really bad. Like, I farted loud, dude. I'm like, no! To, like, cover it. And she's like, No! To like cover it. And she's like,

she goes, why did you scream? No. It's okay, Kurt. Thank you for sharing your story. And I was like, because I didn't consent to that. For rape is rape.

We all know how hard it is to be vulnerable like that. Hand of applause for Kurt Metzger. Kurt Metzger. It's hard to be vulnerable like that, boys. Shit, some of that toxicity. Thanks for sharing, though. No! I love it. No.

Not again! Let's think of all the things you could have yelled. Why now? Wait, don't spoil all my material for the next one. Sorry. She's going to hear. All right. They don't like it when you refuse to dance with them.

I'm telling you, they want that. She don't want that. She don't want that. If you've already seduced them, why would you dance with them? Yeah, are you dancing? I already seduced them. She's like, I want to dance. She goes, oh, you want to dance, huh?

Not if I've already fucked them. Yeah. Oh, I like to dance. Here's the thing. I'm a great dancer. And if I'm a better dancer than her, I'm not going to dance with her. Dude, if you fucking... Danny Terrio from Saturday Night Fever in the in-flesh.

You are the most... You're not enough to dance with me. Justin Silver of the club being like, oh, that's how you dance? I'm good. That's it. Oh, the Puerto Ricans were better dancers. If you ever... So you dance normally, but you. You, if you ever, so you would,

you dance normally, but you saw a girl and you go, I'm not, I can't be seen with that. She's like, how come you don't dance with me? You dance with like,

your sister's friend. I'm like, cause she can dance. You can't dance. Like, that's not, what you're doing is moving cause there's music,

but like, I'm fucking sick. You want me to go to the doctor? How about you go to the doctor for those two left feet? You guys, in the audience, when you imagine Justin dancing,

because we're all doing that right now. It's exactly what you're imagining, by the way. Justin, dance for us right now. Justin, let's see it. Do you imagine him as a good dancer? No. Dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance. Hold on.

Let's get some salsa. I think we should get some salsa. We need some music, though. I'll dance with Kurt. Definitely have to do some extra music. Okay, dance. Hold on. Let's get some salsa. I think we should get some salsa. We need some music, though. I'll dance with Kurt. Definitely have to do some Mexican music. Okay, Justin. Hey, can we get a girl who can dance up here? Any girls who can dance better than Justin or as good?

No pressure. Wait, what is this music? Wait, what is this music? To this? What do you want? Do you have a request? What's your jam? I can't dance.

I was fucking with you. What? Lying Jew? You just do one of those, right? I love that he's like, I won't dance with a woman who's not as good at dancing as me. And all of us are like, what does he dance like? And then he's like, if she can't move, I'm fucking her sister's best friend.

All of us are like, what does he dance like? And then we all finally think it's this. But DJ, you know what it actually is. He's doing the windmill on the floor. Yeah! Do it. Do the worm. That's what you're doing. The worm, right?

Shit like that, yeah. You can breakdance, can't you? Shit like that? It's like the worm. Shit like that. But can't you actually breakdance? Yeah, a little bit. I'm not going to do it now.

Oh, no! The six step! Dude, what in the fucking shit? Someone get some cardboard. I can do the beginning. I can do the beginning part of breakdancing. I can do the beginning. I can do the beginning part of break dancing. I can do the first part. Yeah.

Come on. Thank you, TJ. You can't beat that Justin It's a high kick Now will you dance with me Justin Now will you dance with me

You fucked up This is one shot in your life You blew it That was fucking beautiful It was beautiful This is a boy's cast You were wonderful out there Joe's eyes reflect We're all disappointed Yeah I was originally Pitchering Justin Like pulling a flower Voice cast. You were wonderful out there. Don't try to deflect.

We're all disappointed. Yeah, I was originally picturing Justin like pulling a flower out while he dances. But yeah, it's definitely chain around the neck, white beater, Adidas tracksuit. I bet it would have been beautiful. Yeah. Roughly grabbing them behind the neck,

like really hard. No, he won't, but he could. In fairness, I feel like a lot of dudes would be like, you don't dance with me. A lot of guys can't dance, so they don't want to fucking embarrass themselves. Oh, like you. How is that annoying?

Just now. That's not annoying. Talk to the other people. You said you're going to dance. Are you going to do it or not? I'm not going to dance, no. I guess you're a fucking liar. Jake, make him dance.

Jake, make him dance. fucking liar. Justin, you can sew up your own stitches on your face afterwards. Wait, Jake, will you? I'm injured. Yeah, what if you're injured? What if she's like dancing with me and you're like, I tore my ACL? Well, I think she already covered that with number one. We know that.

You won't go to the hospital. You refuse to see the doctor. I told you to get that checked out. Refusing to dance with her. Okay, we got a few more. Not even Jake Shields can make him do it. The next one is shitty. It's legit.

Yeah, you say that one, Justin. The next one. Flirting with her friends. You're a fucking douche. I mean, it's a lot better than fucking them. What about with her? Is this true? It makes a point.

If you're the guy dancing, her friends walk in, you go, oh, what do we have here? You're flirting with them when you dance. Can I flirt with her mom still? I don't flirt with them. I just dance with them. Yeah, that one's okay. You're not supposed to flirt with them, but you should them yeah that one's okay you have to float you're not supposed to flirt with them but you should try to like be cool yeah such a fine line yeah this is easy

shit gonna take a quick second here to tell you about a new sponsor that we've taken on and made friends with and both of us have been drinking pretty regularly for the last two weeks since we've been uh getting on the on the team which is salty sailor coffee this is not just another coffee brand this is an experience listen to these names here we got sailor blend the mid watch max cafe six bean espresso cup of joe 12 pack single serve k style coffee capsules davy jones locker a cold a cold blue brand. Eye of the Storm, Italian Rose. So they actually have all sorts of... The coffee's great, and you're already buying coffee. Give it a shot.

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a cool mission and despite being a boutique brand with 10% charity commitment, they stand toe to toe on pricing with the veteran owned premium coffee vendors like Black Rifle and Blackout Coffee. And the biggest thing about this one is it's not, not you know costing you an arm and a leg for the good shit so experience premium quality without the premium price tag visit the website to discover a treasure trove of flavors at salty sailor coffee dot com and you want to use the promo code boys cast 15 to get that boys cast discount for the fellas yeah this one's definitely very poor boyfriend specific. I went to a wedding and pretended the bride wasn't fat. The what?

I consider that flirting. That's showing a lot of restraint there. Some forget to notice when you get your hair trimmed. Trimmed? It's not even a cut? Yeah, I would never notice. What the fuck? No, this is a trim.

Is that a fortune cookie? You paid $500 and that? Trimmed implies less than an inch, sort would never notice. What the fuck? No, this is a trim. Is that a fortune cookie? You paid $500 for that? Trimmed implies less than an inch, sort of. Yeah. It's like, but I sometimes. Well, then I guess my dick is a trim. It's called a circumcision. And so sometimes I think guys can relate to this.

Like Kate will be like, oh, I'm going to get my hair done. And then she comes back and I forget that that's where she was. But then all guys, then you remember that her hair is different or it's supposed to be. And you just do this. Upstairs or downstairs?

Upstairs. Hey, I'd also like a little piece of that action if you don't mind fucking boys cast dude so you do this thing where you pretend like oh my god I didn't realize you look so beautiful it just caught my eye

this is incredible and Kate will be like you fucking forgot you piece of shit right but then we'll have a tickle fight and all's well all's well that tickles fight and all's well. All's well that tickles well. And she's like, why do I deserve this? You're like, because you're not wearing that thing that makes you look so fat.

I'm like, let's dance. Keep it going. I just start jerking off, dude. I'm like, get out! Get out! Yeah, I'm more like, oh, yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He's good. Yeah, no, that's a good cut. Great trim.

Yeah. No, I appreciate that you're not spending, like, tons of money on this kind of stuff, you know? I appreciate that. They tell you it was like $300. That's a real Sigma male you just heard from. That looks very frugal. That's fucking Sigma, dude. Oh, this next one.

The next one, she's right on this one too. You go, oh, you bought a haircut? I actually bought a hat, so that'll be fucking, if you don't mind popping this bad boy on. I got one of your friends coming over. She likes to be tickled. This is callback

city over here. Okay, Justin, you got the next one? Next one, and they are right about this. Some leave their socks on while having sex. That's fucking gross. Just the socks. What's wrong with conservative? I put the sock on my hand, and I do Mick Foley style. You do a little sock puppet.

Is it good for you? It's good for me. Oh, who's going to get fucked tonight? I don't understand why the only experiences I've had having intercourse with socks on, there's no traction. You're slipping all over the place. You use it as a condom like I do?

None of us use condoms. Or a filter? I prefer filter. You say bag and I sock it. I can't, right? It seems counterintuitive. Are you guys having sex on carpet? Well, I have the socks on.

It doesn't work. It's very absorbent. That being said, I have the socks on, but I also have my Tims on. The full outfit. You're like a black guy at the beach. Look, I have my socks, my Tims, and my Confederate flag duré.

I wear a vest, no shirt. I tie kerchiefs to my wrists. I cover my penis in underwear, multiple pairs. And then I wear socks as anklets. And then I walk out the door because there was no one in the bedroom. Thank you. I just have the one three-pr prong part of the sock cut off into a wristband pop-up style.

You have an 80s workout tape going on in the background. That's like an American apparel from back in the day. I don't think anyone's doing socks on during sex. Only girls look good with clothes on during sex. I have never not done that.

Shirt on, Donald ducking, dip through the hole of your boxer. No, that's way worse. No Donald ducking. Toddler style. That's so much worse than Donald ducking. Shirt, no pants. Do it.

Toddler style. That's a Stephen Collins. Unless you're like really fat. And then she goes, there's, she goes, why is your shirt on? You go,

there's no time. I want you too bad. I need it now. It's that new haircut. Look at me. Did you guys leave your bra on? Boys, boys I leave her bra on

Alright Okay, we got two more Some get uncomfortable when marriage is mentioned I'm uncomfortable right now That's a bad team now. Especially my wife. Especially my wife. Especially. Did everyone hear it?

You go on a full rant about how we're not letting the government get involved. You know the Patriot movement did that. Why do they need to be involved in this between you and me? Dude, Dustin Chafin has such a funny joke where he goes, I told my girl we're not getting married until gay people can get married.

And then the law was passed. He's like, I got to think of something else. No, he's still under Indian reservation rules, dude. He could get out of it. Yeah. He's part Cherokee. Go text him. Sovereignation, dude.

I don't know. I mean, yeah. When you guys were dating anybody and they were kind of like, so what about a ring? Have you ever been in that situation or no? Yeah. Just change the subject. Now he's engaged.

Yeah, I got it. Perfect. He goes, sorry, I'm shitting. Sorry, shitting. Come back later. Danny, we thought we all right. Perfect. He goes, sorry, I'm shitting. Sorry, shitting. Come back later. Danny, we thought we'd talk about marriage. You told you to leave me alone when I'm on the job. What I do is I put the back in 15 minutes sign,

but they never know when you put the sign up. I'm on the job. So you can just be there forever. Every time a girl has ever brought up to me my whole life, I go, I got to shit. Call me the runaway blog. I got a bad stomach right now. I'll be back. The sock's on the door because you're shitting.

Or your shit's on the door because you're going to fucking hear socks. Alrighty then. I had a lot of white clothes at this. Okay, and this is the last one. Jesus Christ. This is the craziest podcast I've ever been on in my life.

This is how boys do it. This is what boys do. We're just dudes doing dude shit at skatepads. Talking about shit and socks. And tickling. This is the classiest show that has ever happened at skatepads. Me and Justin were working out with the tarps off earlier.

All right. Last one. This is the last thing. There's a whole bunch, but the ones that we've included. Women don't like it when men love the wrong movies. Birth of a Nation? Oh, I'm sorry. I want to watch 12 Hours of Europa. Birth of a Nation? Oh, I'm sorry. I want to watch 12 Hours of Europa.

Birth of a Nation is the best. I was born in the wrong time. Birth of a Nation. That's the best one. There's like 50 movies he could have said, and that was the best one. TJ only fucks watching Yogi Bear over and over again. I fucked a Schindler's List, and if she can't handle it, she can leave.

I fucked. Well, because we're about to kill six million more Jews. I cum on the snow part, but it really has to. I just put six million Jews on your belly. Right when you climax, you yell, now we're cooking with gas. That's a skank fest. Thank you. I'm not leaving.

They do not like it when you love the wrong movies. What's a movie that you've ever had a girl that you've dated be like, this is my favorite movie. I love this movie. It's so great. And it's the worst. It's the worst, worst movie. Have you ever had a girl who loves a movie that you're like, that fucking

sucks. That's the worst. The Door in the Floor. What? It's by Kim Basinger. I don't remember the other guy. It sucked ass. But Kim Basinger fucks the kid. Meet Joe Black. Yeah, that's a bad movie Ebony Gang Bang 9

12 years of sleep yeah but she was in it she doesn't like to watch herself crazy rich Asians dude Passion of the Christ would be a weird one Passion of the Christ

Mother said it was good I feel, I'm trying to think of, I never really had, I dated this girl. She was so funny. Her name was Schaffler. She was Jewish. And that was her first name? No, but that's what everybody called her. How funny was she? Oh, I thought you were. I thought you said, how Jewish was she? Very Jewish. This is an actual question for the Jews. Did that bum you out? The Christians get to make so much money making Christian movies. Yes. Who do you think finances them? Yeah. Who do you think we got an investment from?

Aren't Jewish people financing those movies? No, Ryan. Um, and she was an actress in New York city. And one day we've been dating for a long time, and she's like, do you want to see my audition monologue? And I was like, yeah, of course.

She's so funny. And she did an audition monologue, and it was like, are you there, God, it's me, Margaret? It was about like a period. Maybe, yeah, I think so. Yeah, I don't know. I know it well. She did this monologue, and it was so terrible.

She was like, God, if you're there, it's me. And I was like, oh, no. And she stopped. She ended it. And she goes, what did you think? And I've never had a thought that is the opposite of what I said. Because I said because I said I thought it was good and in my

mind I was like this is over you can't date a person where they show you what they do and you're like you're the worst ever so I think with this it's like loving the wrong movies or you have bad taste in film

could be it too that's why I don't dance with you okay so or you have bad taste in film. Sure. Could be it, too. Bad actress. That's why I don't dance with you. Okay, so... Callback King. Okay, so... Oh, yeah, I'm going to put the 100 smackeroonies on the table. Get it out here.

Let's hear some soft stories. Oh, yeah. Is that what they call your country's money? Smackeroonies? That would be a couple of smackeroonies. Take that back. Do I have a toonie or a smackaroonie? How many contestants do we want?

We have loonies, toonies, and smackaroonies. Three? Three? We got three? What are they telling? I think we'll do five. What's happening? Right, okay.

So I think we're supposed to have a mic set up, right? Do we have a mic? Right here, right here, right here. Okay, we have the mic? Okay. No, but let's get that guy first, because then you go second. Okay, bring it up, and? Do we have a mic? Right here, right here, right here. Okay, we have the mic? Okay. No, but let's get that guy first, because then you go second. Okay, bring it up, and we'll do it, we'll do like a

20 second thing. Worst you've been wronged. So the worst you've been wronged by a chick, and we'll all judge who's the winner. Tell everybody your name. What's your name? Herman. But we'll judge at the end, so we'll just talk. Okay. Wait, do I have a pen? I want to keep scoring notes. Yeah, we need like notes. Like a fight card. Alright. Use your name? Herman. But we'll judge at the end, so we'll just talk. Wait, do I have a pen? I want to keep scoring notes.

Yeah, we need notes. Like a fight card. Use your notepad. I don't know what's on. All right, here we go. Oh, can we get the mic on? Is there a switch on it? Oh, notes in my phone.

Okay, here we go. Is there a switch on that? I got it. Nice, Danny with the tech tips. Linus. All right. Sinus tech tips. Sinus tech tips. Sinus tech tips.

Sniffly. All right. And this is a supportive group, so we wanted to... Oh, yeah, this is a safe space. We love you and we support you. You and Kurt open up to us. Open up. All right.

Brother. How about a joint if we're doing this? I was separated from my ex, and I bought her an apartment, got furniture and everything. She lived a mile away from me with our son, right? Last year when we were at Skank Fest, me and my new wife here, my ex took my kid and moved eight hours away while we were were at skank fest she broke into my house and also took my two dogs that my neighbors were watching what that's like john witch we got more reaction with the dogs so she yeah yeah so she took my dogs and my son who's 10

um and like my world and everything and so i get to see him uh once a month right now because we were doing temporary custody. We got court at the end of the month, right? So I drive eight hours to pick him up for like 24 hours once a month. And then I have to drive eight hours back to bring him back. Give him the hundred. Was there a reason that she did this? Has she ever seen him?

I don't know why I thought this segment would be funny. This is sad. Hey, Ryan. Whose idea was this? I don't know why I thought this segment would be funny. This is sad. Whose idea was this? This turned into guys we fucked. What the fuck, Ryan? Ryan thought it was going to be like somebody's like, holy sex. That's wild.

Okay, to be fair, had she ever seen you take a long shit? No. Did she tickle you? No. Do you fuck with your socks off? What do we...

Tell her she was getting fat? What movies do you love? He ticks every box off. How do we like... Have you ever acted like a... We'll pick at the end. That's awful. No warning.

Why don't we get your kid and the dogs while you were at Skank Fest? It's crazy because if you did that, they'll be kidnapping. And then, yeah, exactly. That would be kidnapping. You're right. And then she didn't let me talk to him at all for over a month. Are you Scientologist? No, no, no.

No religion. And then she... He's so serious. She texted me... Come on, man. no. No religion. He's so serious. Come on, man. She texted me on my birthday and gave me a 15-minute warning that she was going to let me talk to him for a half an hour. Did she sign your kid up for Cameo and make you pay for one?

Did you marry a Saudi prince? Not without my baby. I would say Sally Fields as this guy let's call her right now I'm trying to think of a Ryan Long joke on this one I think it would be like look she said

it seems fucked up what you know she did to you but she told me why she did it and I'm just hashtag believe all women. I think this is on you, man. Fucking nailed it, dude. It was on you.

I wanted to have fun. I think the greatest thing in the world is that you're here with your new wife, and she's fucking dope as shit. She gave everybody friendship bracelets. Hot, stylish, cool. Time to give this woman a baby. One you can keep.

And every, and every, every, every. Dude, if I see you next year at Skank Fest and you go, you're not going to believe what I'm saying. I'll just kill myself on stage. Oh my God. That is so funny. No, every hour that you spend with your kid is going to be instrumental into his development into life,

so fuck her and go have sex with this beautiful person. All right, thank you. A round of applause for Herman, everybody. Stay away from Joe DeRosa! That's a real high watermark right there. It's going to be tough to beat. Thanks, brother.

No, give it to him. Yeah. No, you've got to give it to the next guy. Give it to that guy. No, don't turn it off. Just give it to the next guy. Okay, he'll give it to me. Let this Cuban-American tell us.

Take this guy's kids away. Fuck yeah. Let's go. All right. Chick's eyes are like a dog's eyes. Hi, guys. This story's like, she wouldn't help me bury the body. Listen, I'm going to get to it.

There was a prostitute that I met a few days ago. That's better. I'm going to get to it. Yeah. I haven't gotten laid since like 2018. Shocking. Ex left me. She went to Peru.

COVID, dude. Yeah. I guess. There was a prostitute. I met her a few days ago. She let me suck her titties on Fremont for $40. How big was her dick, dude? Wait, in the street?

Hey, guys. Is that the nun? We're not going to give him a, you know, a clap. Yeah, guys. Let him finish, boys. Boys, out of here. Yeah, it was in front of cops, construction workers, and a bunch of maids at like 6.30 in the morning. You paid $40 to suck a dick?

Early bird special. Dude, I paid $40. Well, I tried to get her to pay. I tried to pay $20, and she's like, fuck you, give me $40. And I'm like, that's fair. Is it $20 a piece? What drugs were you on? I'm saying just stick to the left side.

Save some money. Spend that on shrimp, cocktail, and bidons. Dude, listen to me. She was a 10 out of 10. Black chick, hot, nice ass, nice tits, no stomach. Good job, huge dick. Hey, I didn't suck it.

She was going to charge me for more. Okay, so what happened next? You sucked the titties. What's going on now? I wanted to take her to my room, but she was like, no. I don't do that. She was like, 100 bucks. I was like, fuck that.

I'm broke. So I'm like, look. Fuck, this guy's pandering for the hundo. Well, at least we know what he's going to do with it. He wants to fuck with that money. He's like, long story short, GoFundMe.com backslash $40 titties underscore. She took my kids during COVID. You want it? You're drinking a bag of urine?

Okay, I know what you got to do. You got to set up right beside her $40 to suck your titties. And then when you get $100. It costs more than $40, suck your titties. And then when you get $100... No, I charge more than $40, dude. Come on. So what'd she do? Well, the thing is, I wanted to take her to the corner and suck her titties and eat her ass

for $20. I'm broke. You look like a young Timbaland. She has a titty-sucking corner. There's like a... No, he has a titty-sucking corner. He wanted to take heritty sucking corner. There's like a... Dude, she's been working all day. He has a titty sucking corner. Didn't you... He wanted the titty sucking corner.

Oh, you had already... So did you, before you talked to her, you like scoped out for good corners that you could get your suck on? No, no, no. I was literally walking through the Golden Nugget because I knew the comedians were hanging around there. Literally.

I wanted to see if I could get some coke. Hold on, hold on. Are you blind or just really cool? Nah, man, I'm gay, dude. I'm fucking gay. This guy rules. What? Fuck yeah.

Touche. So what happened? I haven't had pussy in four years. So I really want it. Yeah. So I saw this prostitute. She approached me. And I was like, fuck yeah.

She's like a 10 out of 10. We got that. So I was like, let me eat your pussy for $20. And she's like, fuck you. $40, you can suck my titties. You said this whole part already. Yeah. And whatever.

So I said, all right, let's do this. And she pulled me right on Fremont Street at like 6 AM when the sun was rising. Nice. And I was like, right here? Like there was cops on the corner. In front of God, dude. In front of God. No, there's that ceiling.

Is there any girls that need 20 bucks at Skank Fest? So what, though, what? What she, I wanted to take her to my room, but she was like, those cops you see right there on the corner of Fort Queens? I'm like, yeah, that's my hotel. She's like, they don't like me. I'm like, we can go to the back way.

And she's like, eh, $40. What's going to happen? I'm like, they don't like me. I'm like, we can go to the back way. And she's like, eh, $40. What's going to happen? I'm like, fuck it. Right on Fremont Street, I literally sucked her titties, her ass. For how long? You sucked her ass? I was nervous. You sucked her ass?

Dude, I'm Catholic. How did you do it, though? All right, thanks. I think we got what we need. Book them, guys. What is going on? I'm Catholic, dude. All for seriously think we got what we need. Book them, guys. What is going on? I'm serious. You got what you need.

Did you go on your knees or did you bend over to her ass? You ate her ass? Her tits? Dude, it was in front of construction workers that were trying to go to work. Were they cheering you on? And I spoke Spanish. So I'm like, you know what I mean? The construction worker, fuck her, I did.

Her tits? Nobody saw me suck her tits, but to suck her ass, I had to go on my knees. And I haven't sucked an ass. Wow, put that on your headstone. I've never even heard the term sucking ass. So you were sucking the cheek? Wait, what's your name, dude? Yeah, wasn't it cheeks?

I was sucking the cheek, because I don't want to suck ass, because I don't want shit on my tongue. Because, like, I'm Catholic. So you're sucking ass, and why don't you suck sucking ass. Wait, what's your name, buddy? My name is Edison. Edison, I want to thank you for sharing that story with us tonight. We've got your mother right here.

This guy needs a hundred bucks. Please. I'll suck a dick right now, but it has to be a tranny. That is the name of Jode Rose's last album. I appreciate it. I'll suck a dick right now, but it has to be a tranny. All right, give it up for him. That was great. Fuck yeah. That is the name of Joe DeRosa's last album. I appreciate it. Okay, we got to go. You can go in for him.

There's a problem. Yeah, we're going to do three more. That girl was a saint. Respect. Okay, pass the mic to him. Here we go. Cheers. All right.

Good luck, bitch. So far, we have custody and suck to prostitute Taz. I don't know what she did wrong. Yeah. She gave him a deal. You know what? That didn't even occur to me. How did she fuck you over?

He wasn't following the rules. She did you a favor, dude. Wait a second. She threw in an ass sucker. This was just a story about pretty sick, though. Oh, low prices in convenient locations. Oh, no. There's no... Wow, you really got the locations. Oh, no. There's no...

Wow, you really got the good, ma'am. As a Jew, I want to say you got your money's worth, my friend. Go ahead. What's your name, dude? Name's Rob. Hi, Rob. Oh, you got a job? Oh, cool.

Hell yeah. What's up, man? Hell yeah. Yeah, so I Name's Rob. Hi, Rob. Oh, you got a job? Oh, cool. Oh, yeah. What's up, man? Oh, yeah. Yeah, so I grew up Mormon. I went to a Mormon college, BYU in Utah. And, yeah, no, don't cheer for that. But. What are you smoking, Mormon?

Oh. Angel dust. God's green. I used to be a Jehovah's Witness. Do you feel like a werewolf versus vampires antagonism to me? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. It's just a lot of knock-knock. Two of the same, but. Hey, you're doing great.

And we've brought you. Yeah, so, uh, I'm not drunk today. That's the issue. Uh, the, uh, oh, yeah. It's a safe space. Go on, son. When did he touch you? Yeah, no.

So she touched me, and she sucked my dick, and then I ate her out. And then she went to the Mormon bishop and then said, What? He sucked my dick and then ate me. What? What was that? That's what happened to my...

What? Can we circle back, please? Ladies and gentlemen, Joey Rosa. We have to go back to that. We have to go back to that. Dude, that's what happened to Mike Tyson. And Eddie Murphy. So she said.

Yeah, so she said, I sucked his dick. She ratted on you to the patient. Yeah, yeah. She ratted me out. She ratted me out. And then that prevented me from. At the time, I was, you wouldn't look. I was a good boy. So I fucking, I was going to go on a mission, you know.

Oh, no. Do the whole two-year thing, go to another country or somewhere else in this nation. You were going to meet Matt, Trey and Matt? Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Fucking exactly. So did he, like, kick you out? Did he make you kill a kid in front of him? Well, no.

I heard that's what you guys do. We don't know what Mormons do. Get over it. You know, it's a space religion. It's a gay religion if you ask me. Mormons. So she ratted you out and what happened? Yeah, so she ratted me out. I wasn't able to go on the mission and then

they suspended me for a while and then so when I... Wait, what was the mission? To ride a bike around like a dick? I feel like for two years. I feel like if they went to God and they were like we just suspended this guy for... And they call him Elder and he's 21.

You got your dick sucked and didn't have to go on a mission? That's a win. That is a win but then like... Everyone's just bragging. Do they make you turn in your name tag when they suspend you? I didn't even get the name tag, but then that... Holy shit. Jesus Christ. Did you have to sacrifice the child to the angel macaroni?

No, but, you know, the other part of the Mormonism is that I was also at school. So that affected me going to school. So, you know. For gay shit. What? That's way more expensive than this guy's titty sock, huh? Yeah, yeah. You pay for your soul, brother.

She basically fucked up your future because she told on you. Yes, exactly. And you went down on her and did you feel that you did a lovely job? I spent quite a time down there. All right, dude, can I tell you something? And you tell me if I sound crazy to you. But that's why they like a lot of Mormons in the FBI. That's fucking right.

That's fucking right. What? Because they don't do any drugs, and they're willing to do anything to suck up the fucking Mitt Romney people, dude. Well, this guy couldn't get in the FBI because he's already in the FBI. Female body inspector. Can I ask an honest question? Is it true in Mormonism that they're allowed to fuck in the butt

but not in the vagina? That's every religion. It's called butt sex. Is that true? No, Mormons are autistic about that. Literally, when you're a teenager, you talk to your adult male bishop about masturbation.

If you've even touched a girl's butt over the pants. They ask those questions specifically. You don't do soaking? Yeah, soaking. Is that real? That's cool. No, no, no. Is that when they put it in and bounce on the bed?

No, no, no. Soaking's fake. Soaking's fake. It's called having sex. Dude, I was just in Salt Lake City, and I talk about they soak, so the guy puts his penis in the woman's vagina. You's called having sex. Dude, I was just in Salt Lake City and I talk about they soak so the guy puts his penis in the woman's vagina. You know how this works. But you can't move it all.

You just put it in there. Wait, can you pause? I'm going to take a piss. Then you can invite friends over to jump on the bed. Yes, your friends can move the bed and if you're not moving then that's not having sex. Well, where did you go to school? BYU. So she fucked you over if you're not moving then that's not having sex. Well, where did you go to school? BYU.

So she fucked you over if you went down on her and she gave you fellatio because she was guilty. She was also guilty. No, she was guilty. She felt guilty so she sold you out. Yep. So when you put it that way, I think we understand.

Let me ask a question. What happened to her? Did she go on to, like, run the church? Like, did that help her, or did she get in trouble, too? I don't think women lead that church. Believe all women. No, but what happened to her? Got married to a Mormon gentleman.

Okay. Yeah, I thought he was going to say, got married to this guy right here. All right, thanks, thanks brother That was awesome Hand him applause Anyone else? Yeah we have two more Alright right here

Guy with the mustache Oh he's got a good one This looks like it's going to be sad You know when his boys Are fucking talking shit Yeah yeah yeah I feel like this is going to be sad His boys are like

Oh Craig's got to get up there He's got the hiking sandals on He's got the hiking sandals on He's got the hiking sandals on He's got the hiking sandals on He's got the hiking sandals on He's got the hiking sandals on He's got the hiking sandals on He's got the hiking sandals on He's got the hiking sandals on He's got the hiking sandals on He's got the hiking sandals on He's got the hiking sandals on He's got the hiking sandals on He's got the hiking sandals on He's got the hiking sandals on He's got the hiking sandals on He's got the hiking sandals on He's got the hiking sandals on He's got the hiking sandals on He's got the hiking sandals on He's got the hiking sandals on He's got the hiking sandals on He's got the hiking sandals on He's got the hiking sandals on He's got the hiking sandals on He's got the hiking sandals on He's got the hiking sandals on He's got the hiking sandals on He's got the hiking sandals on He's got to get up there. He's got the hiking sandals on. He's a tearjerker right here. He's business, dude. Tivas. What's your name? Simon.

Hi, Simon. I have an ex-girlfriend that cheated on me with a stand-up comic. Is he here? Is he here? He's not here.

He does have a stage name, which makes it worse. His stage name, he was, I got cheated on. Does it rhyme with Barrett Bop? It's Phil the Abortion

Prop Comic. What? Which comic? Do you guys know this guy? I saw Ryan be like, was it me? He wasn't even a good comic? That's even worse. He would come on stage with a doll and a trash can

and do abortion ventriloquism. God, it sounds amazing. The headline JFL is what I heard. What's the abortion ventriloquism? You've looked it up, right? You've checked it out. There's nothing that comes up when you search them.

Did you guys go to his show together? Yeah. Oh, my God. And she was turned on by that and was like, I'm going to get that abortion dick. Yo, if she got pregnant and said he would keep it, that guy must be pissed.

The abortion guy. Where, what city was this? Minnesota. Rochester, Minnesota. After the show, she cheated on you with a gun? Not directly after the show. Oh.

She slid in the DMs. Was he good? No. Did you love her? No. Okay. You didn't love her? No. I love this. He got up here. He's like, I got fucked over by a girl I don't

give a shit about. So the abortion comic did you a favor. Kind of. Kind of aborted your relationship. Yeah, there it is. You have to do that, okay? Maybe mine wasn't that bad. This guy can't see his goddamn kid.

This is a man that got a free look on life. You know what? I think we just gave him closure. Yeah, we just gave you closure, dude. That's what a therapy session looks like with the squad. And they charge you $900 We're going to the We're still not doing

Well we charge him not getting $100 Thanks Respect dude We got applause for closure And then we have one more Anybody else Here we go One last one Okay, sick

Come on Weren't you in Bon Jovi? Aren't you in Bon Jovi? My ex-wife What's your name? Curtis My ex-wife But you're white

My ex-wife left you're white What's that? My ex-wife left me and she took our kid And he's trans Like he identifies as trans or whatever How old? Oh he's 11 Wow that was some fucking red hat shit For sure dude Or she's 11

Wait the kid's trans? Kurt our period's just Wait, the kid's trans? Kurt, our period's just saying. Wait, the kid's trans? Wait, okay, okay. Curtis, Curtis. That's what happens when boys hang out too long. She's 11.

She's 11? She identifies as trans. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And your ex-wife is what? Encouraging it? No, she's garbage. No, we gathered from the story. It's a problem she's not affirming the kid? What's that? She's not affirming the kid? No, she's garbage. No, we gathered from the story. It's a problem. She's not affirming

the kid? What's that? She's not affirming the kid? No, she is affirming the kid. You have to affirm him early. I don't want to affirm the kid. Because you're a bigot? Get a DNA test, dude. Did your kid identify as trans before she left you or then they left him now?

No, it was like building up. took the male presence out of the house old do you wish there was like you remember gay conversion gay big a conversion therapy no in the future dude you could get where they bargain your kid down to just gay 30 grand just tell him he's gay that's amazing so wait you think that

it's gay not trans I think I think he's gay but I just want him to be happy look at that I think he's gay

but I just want him or her to be happy I don't know what the rules are anymore none of us do you know what the rules are but the bottom line is you don't want to say

you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say

you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you don't want to say you But the bottom line is you don't want to say it in the hallway. You know what the rules are? Love. That's it. Do you get to see her?

No, I love him. Do you get to see him? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, I get to see him. Oh, that's good, at least. How often? Probably like every couple weeks. Okay.

As a tiebreaker, did she take the dogs also? I would have rather had the dogs. I would rather have had a dog. I would rather have had a dog. What gender are the dogs? They're non-binary. There's no reason. They're non-binary. Yeah, well, listen.

Ken Jake Shields, fight. All right, you got everything you need, officer? Come get him. All right, yeah, that sucks, dude. Okay, give him a round of applause. That's the last one. Curtis, everybody. You're going for Curtis. Was that, yeah, was that bad

of me? Oh, yeah, it sucks. Tough break, dude. Alright, anyway, so, no, you're back. Dude, that should be a Canadian-like fucking show. Tough break, dude. Hey, I'll tell you what, you'll get her next time, huh? Alright. Body, body. Oh oh it's a tough break they don't all go your way

you got three that's why God gave us all three periods huh you catch him in the third people don't know what you're doing Ryan we're in America it's a Canadian show so what so now we gotta vote

the first guy got fucked over the worst So what? So now... Okay. We got to vote. We're like, do each of us choose? The first guy got fucked over the worst. No, I think we can check it out. I would eat ass for the money. I'll tell you right now. I would eat ass for the money, though. Yeah, number one. Number one.

Do we want the money to go towards eating ass, though? Yeah. Honestly, I was thinking the exact same thing. I think everyone thinks this. And thank you all for coming up. He's probably the winner. But we'll just give him the fucking hundred bucks for his pasta.

Is that chick still out there? I want an ass to get eaten. He's got to pay for HRT. Most guys don't pay to eat ass. Yeah, pay to suck ass. So they're both winners. All right.

Herman, give it up for Herman, the real winner of this. Thank you for sharing You better eat ass without money And thank you everyone for coming out to the boys We very much appreciate it Thank you Danny

Thank you guys both Shout out to Skankfest for having us We gotta give it up for TJ Miller Justin Silver Kurt Metzger Jake Shields And Danny Danny Polashuk. Give a round of applause for Ryan Long, everybody. This has been the Boyscast.