The Boyscast with Ryan Long - Michael Malice on Anarchy, The Right's Civil War, The Pope Vs AI & Which Race Looks the the Same

Episode Date: May 29, 2026

Michael Malice joins the boys to discuss the rift in MAGA, the Pope versus AI and how to get Jake Tapper on the show.   SUPPORT THE BOYSCAST! Go to https://patreon.com/theboyscast for a premium episode every week plus bonus content   SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! Marek Health - Go to https://marekhealth.com and use code BOYSCAST to get 10% off Marek Health and Marek Diagnostics   Upcoming Shows:  Winnipeg - Jun 4-6 Spokane - June 18-20 Boston - July 17 Denver - July 23-25 Albuquerque- July 31-Aug 1 Nashville - Aug 12/13 Kansas City - Aug 14/15 Tacoma - Sept 17-19 Phoenix - October 16-17 Edmonton- Nov 5,6,7 Calgary - Nov 12-14 DC - Dec 3-5  Providence - Dec 10-12 Punchup.live/ryanlong   Danny Shows: Brooklyn, NY - June 4th Stamford - June 6th Atlanta - June 11th Cleveland - June 12th Portland, ME - June 14th Tacoma, WA - July 15th Spokane, WA - July 16th Atlantic City, July 19th https://dannycomedy.com   Ryans: https://youtube.com/ryanlongcomedy @ryanlongcomedy Dannys Channel: https: youtube.com/dannypolishchuk @dannyjokes  FELLAS FELLAS MERCH! http://ryanlongstore.com   To advertise on this podcast please email: [e-mail] with Subject: Boyscast   Ryan @ryanlongcomedy Danny @dannyjokes Instagram: @ryanlongcomedy Twitter: @ryanlongcomedy Facebook.com/ryanlongcomedy tiktok @ryanlongcomedy  AUDIO  PODCAST: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-boyscast-with-ryan-long/id1498829489   Chapters: 00:00 - The Boys / Jake Tapper / Trip to Mar A Lago  08:20 - Freedom fest 10:59 - Worst Joke / Kenny Hotz / Trump Wedding 20:12 - North Korea 28:02 - AD - Marek Health - Go to https://marekhealth.com and use code BOYSCAST to get 10% off Marek Health and Marek Diagnostics 30:02 - Which race of Asian looks most same? / UK uglies 41:34 - Toronto  46:10 - Biggest Anarchist 50:21 - Collapse of the British Empire 53:07 - I don't miss NY 56:06 - Pope vs AI 58:48 - DATES - Go to https://punchup.live/ryanlong and https://punchup.live/dannypolishchuk for tickets! 59:26 - AI Accelerationist 1:01:20 - Hypochondria 1:05:48 - People at eachothers throats 1:21:36 - How to get Jake Tapper on the show 1:23:50 - Kevin Hart roast 1:36:07 - Enhanced games 1:42:43 - Wrap up / Cuba

We are here with the requested Michael Malice. Much requested. Much requested. And then we've also, we were just going over how Jake Tapper thought this podcast was a podcast about the boys. And Michael hates the boys. And that's leading us into. Well, are you going to tell the story again? Well, yeah, he's told her on here already.

I've told him maybe once. Basically, I made this video for Jake Tapper and then me and him are texting. And then he's like, yeah, I love the boys. And I was like, and I thought he was referring to her. podcast and then throughout our conversation I realized, oh, you like the show, the boys, you think my podcast is about the boys.

Oh, wow. Just like how sick it is. Yeah, we just roby and nailed it again with the commentary. There's this podcast where they just review shows and we're the boys cast. Honest mistake. I didn't even know we start the podcast and we go, you're going to start her me. Well, fuck Homelander.

Guys, the worst. Season four, episode three. Didn't like it. Guys, freaking terrible. I don't, asshole. Can I spoil a bit in the last season? Yeah, I'm not watching it. Well, just people at home.

I'm spoiling about this. There's other people listening to this besides us. We're just talking about people. That's fair. That's fine. Before we're recording, we've just talked of people who have been in the biz for a long time. There's things they don't know that you've told them. I was, had one of my dear friends, Tom Woods, was on my show once.

And he mentioned someone. I started explaining who this person is. And he's like, yeah, I know who, whatever. It goes, I go, yeah. But other. people are listening to this show and they might not know who that is. He's like, oh, yeah. This is, I haven't never told this story, but it's just like this because it's really

fun when someone is stupid and or crazy figuring out the train of thought that they take. Yeah. It's really fun with kids. I have a nephew, Lucas. I took him to Mar-a-Lago, this a few years ago. He's like six at the time. And I go, oh, we're going. You'll never be here.

You go, see this? If you're here, you took a wrong turn somewhere. Well, it's like him there. And I go, we're going to the president's house. He's like, oh, the White House. I'm like, no, no, like an old president. He goes, oh, Abe Lincoln. So it's smart, although it's wrong.

Right. So I had a friend named Jackie, and we were, I had my birthday, and we went to dinner. And she goes, look, we've been friends for quite some time. Can I ask you like a question, like whatever? I go, sure. She goes, do you have. secret birthday parties every year only for people who are famous. And I'm like, what? Like, where do you begin even correcting this? Just like she's saying, am I excluded from the fun stuff?

There's a rumor going around that you're doing these famous birthday parties and we're not invited. And I'm like, I have no idea. I said to her, which is the truth, I haven't had a birthday party since my mentor, Harvey Pekar, died on my birthday, July 12, 2010. So I haven't had a, I hadn't had a birthday party since. I go, why do you say this? She goes, goes, oh, our common friend, let's call him Jeff, told me this. And I sat and I'm like, okay, where did Jeff get this idea? Yeah. And it took me a few weeks and I realized what it was because one year, Jeff's birthday is in like October, I think. And I said, hey, let's do a roast for your birthday. I'll be the roast master, blah, blah, blah. And Jeff replies back, oh,

I really want my friend, whatever, Janine to be there. The only weekend she can do it is like July 17th, so we're going to do it then. And I said, oh, that's too close to my birthday. I can't do it then. And I think what he thought I meant was too close to my birthday party, and he wasn't invited to that birthday party. So there, and that was the train of thought. Crazy.

But I figured it out. And he's been going around telling people for years. With a matter of fact. He goes, do you hear the shit mouse up to you? Yeah, I'm not allowed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's too close to his birthday. Yeah.

What's having a mentor? I've only heard about people having mentors. Do you not know Harvey Pekar is? No. American Splendor? Yeah. No, I don't know who this is. So Harvey Pekar, they made a movie about him called.

Weinstein. So I do know Harvey's, but. Great contribution. So, Danny, Harvey Pekar was the Cleveland File Clerk, and he wrote a series of, Autobractful Comics, starting in the 70s, called American Splendor. And in the 80s, he was a frequent Letterman guest. And a lot of these clips now have, like, millions of views on YouTube

because him and Letterman would go at it, and it wasn't a gag. It was real, like, aggressive. One time, like, the union was striking with GE, which owned, I think it was NBC, and Harvey had a shirt for the union, and it got all very heated, and Harvey was kind of a very feisty person, let's say. So I met him when he came to New York, and he kind of, you know, took me under his wing. What would the arguments be about? I think he was talking about how GE sucks and Letterman's like Harvey

time and place. Yeah, it's like literally like Letterman's checks are like say GE on them. Right, right exactly. He's making trying to get Letterman to fight the man. Yeah and he's like I don't remember I haven't seen this in years. We're like Harvey I sympathize where you're coming from but like this is a comedy show. We're not going to start talking by union demands. Yeah. Like this is not the negotiating spot. So yeah. And then you moved to New York and then you met him and then what's having a mentor? I didn't,

no, he's from New York. I'm from New York. Okay, so you're in New York. He moved to New York and then you met him. Ryan, holy shit, you're like my friend. You're just filling in blanks that don't exist. I lived here since I was two. Harvey lived in Cleveland.

Harvey happened to be, you can know people come to New York. He came through New York on a visit to do one of his letterman spots. You don't have to fill the... This is like madlips. To do one of his... This is like madlips.

He's doing one of his famous letterman spots. He's doing one of his famous letterman spots. You're in the parking lot. With a sign. Doing fentanyl. The movie American Splank. And he gave you a Mento, you mentioned.

Yes, and I put in some Pepsi and it exploded. The movie was like the movie the year. Right. That's the only thing I really know him. Right. And it was huge in indie circles. But it was really funny because MSN named it DVD of the year.

Number two was Lord of the Rings. Yeah. So it's like that kind of weird kind of stuff. Oh, I finally beat them. That was what Harvey said. And he was on his world tour promoting the movie, and Howard Stern wanted him on. So they flew him back to New York just to do the Stern spot, pulled him off his tour, and the producer of the film sent an email to everyone the company that said,

Harvey's in town with nothing to do. If you want to hang out with him, this is your shot. And none of the kids working there took the meeting. I was the only one because I knew someone who worked there. I mean, if you didn't take it, that is kind of embarrassing for him. He was like, you know, I'm going to do something nice. Yeah, spots are filling up. And then he's like, um.

Spots are really up back. Anybody? Anyone? But that was his whole shit. Give a little treat to the guys. He was very kind of beaten down by life. That was whole shtick. So, yeah.

I remember the first one, I was in his hotel room for three minutes. And he's lying on it. I can see in my mind's eye. He's lying in his hotel room being like, yeah, I'm real fucked up, man. Because he had like antedonia, which meant he couldn't feel happiness. Oh, really? Yeah. So there's like, and his white.

Wait, what? It's a thing. It's called anhedonia. Like, I think people have SSRIs, take it too long, and when you get off it, you never feel happy again. Is that a dopamine situation? Yeah. Yeah, probably just...

So it's, it's no... It's a funny thing to tell people you have. Well, that was this whole schick, like, being a, like, a complainer. Yeah, he's a real curmudgeon. He hated that word. Oh. Because that reminds him... It sounds like something like a cremogon.

That's true. Remind him, Andy Roo, and he's like, I'm not like Andy Roe, he's a fucking asshole. But his wife was such... Who died recently, thank God, was such an evil woman. She was banned from the set by the actress playing her. That's how malevolve she was. Yeah, Hope Dave is banned from the set.

That is interesting to have a guy that you go, I can't be happy, my life is basically a living hell. And so, anyways, I'm looking for apprentices. And that's, that movie was called the Jake Tapper story.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. On your birthday. Yeah. Have you seen the freedom, so Freedom Fest, which is there is, are you going to Freedom Fest? I spoke last year.

Okay. I was not invited. Is there another one this year? No, they announced the lineup. It's the 250th anniversary. Oh, yeah. Not a great lineup, my friend. They didn't ask me.

Well, you're going to feel really bad right now. I feel like Harvey and Capo feel like happiness. Okay, so they're, well, it's funny because they're doing it on the White House lawn. So you think, right? Yeah, I thought. So who would be there? You think in kind of like, you know, Trump fans sort of thing. So we've got vanilla ice, Millie Vanilli, which is only one of them.

One surviving memory. Wait, wait. You're joking, right? No. Wait, wait, wait, why? It's the same organization. He's the featured performer at Freedom Fest. It's called Freedom Fest.

You sure it's not the same thing? I don't know. Is there doing multiple Freedom Fest? It's like voice cast. Like, it could be called Freedom Fest. There could be multiple Freedom Fest. Brett Michaels, Flo Rida. And then also a lot of these people, once it came out, then people were not happy with it.

So Millie, I think, dropped off. No, Millie's still in. He needs to cash. Young MC. But there's, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Guys, guys, guys, you fucking assholes. Millie's dead. it's vanilla it's sorry sorry I always confused idiots I was confused no it's the great I don't know

if it's freedom fest it's freedom two 50 the great American state fest no it's not freedom fest it's not freedom this is the great American state fair uh freedom 250 and uh this kid rock not going to be there he's always these kind that's what I'm saying it's surprising it's uh 16 days 56 states six territories Guam a lot of mills here in Guam they're Guam okay I guess that's a just a weird phrasing to say 56 states and territories. Well, you can't say 56 states. Well, wouldn't it be 50 states plus territories? Well, this way it's a bigger number.

I guess. I'm Canadians. They were trying to get the commanders on board. You're the guys who count provinces and the other things, territories is the same. That's true. That's a good point. No, no, no, we say provinces and territories.

Yeah, you say both. Yeah, but you count the numbers 14, whatever it is. Yeah, that's, I guess that's true. Yeah, flow rider, Morris Day and the Time and CNC, Apparently Morris Day in the time and Young MC both backed out. Do you think that there's any like 60-year-old Trump supporter women? They're just like, well, if Young MC's out. The artist formerly known as Young MC, he's got to be 60.

Young MC, he's no longer. Look it up. Can you look up how old he is? Because that song came out like 89. Our buddy had a joke when he first said a comedy. He was 59. Very nice. JJ's joke.

He goes, new kids on the block. They're not new and they're not kids. It wasn't a great joke. He closes it back. Thanks, that's my time! The worst joke ever written? What's the worst? He probably said it five times and we brought it up for the next ten years.

Okay, so I want to hear your guys, because it's hard to craft a perfectly bad joke. Yeah, the perfect terrible joke. Right, because, so my favorite comedian is Neil Hamburger. People at home who don't know, he does anti-humor. Yeah, right, it's a character. Possibly clearing his throat. Right, and spitting. And my favorite one of his jokes is, what question did Larry King ask most

frequently during his decades of broadcast journalism. Should I be concerned about blood in my diarrhea? And it's so bad, and so many layers of bad, that I think it's perfect. And it's a good limit's test because you tell people that and they just stare at you. You're like, okay, I will not be able to talk to you as myself. We're not on the same page. What's your perfect? What's the worst joke you guys know?

I think if I think of the, like, technically this is terrible, but I like it, would probably be Tom Green just interviewing people with poo on the microphone. Okay. Where you go? If anyone ever came up with that, it feels like at the end of a writing session, you're just like, what if we put like poo on a microphone? Like if, you know what I mean? It feels like everyone's tired.

We have a classic. This is back from this open micer in Toronto, but he used to do, he's, he didn't quite understand how a joke worked, but it was at the height of Rob Ford. Oh, God. I remember. This is a classic. This is a classic. And so it was when Rob Ford had that media script.

And they were like, you said you wanted to eat Olivia Gondack's pussy or whatever. And he said, I have plenty of pussy at home. And he goes, I have plenty to eat at home. And then his punchline was, what a guy. You go, that's not really a punchline. I said he had plenty of eat at home. Plenty to eat at home. What a guy.

The best rock board line was when he goes, yes, I admit I smoked crack, but it was during one of my drunken stupers. Yeah. And his brother is now the mayor or the governor of the pro. The governor of the governor. the premiere. Any thread to run me over in his car. Is that right?

On live television. He said on the, Danny made a movie about the thing and they wrote. Oh, that's right. We talked about this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I, I actually, they did a,

they did a documentary about Rob Ford. He said that earlier that I said, you said, about, oh, you dropped in a boot last week. Yeah. But they did a, what is this, Degrassi?

Junior high. They lost the accents of the new class. Also legendary. Yeah. I have, although, episode. Yeah.

That was like one of the most, including the kids at the Grassy Street, their original for seven. Literally one of the most like, this is like a sad state of Canadian, uh, television. You saw the guy with the hat? Affairs was one of like the most starstruck I've ever been was I was doing like some shitty bar show and this comedian, her boyfriend was Snake. See? Steven Brogren.

Yeah. Stefan Brogren. Yeah. And we were. Well, how foolish of me. Big Ten. Hey, do not have been the name of snake. Yeah.

Yeah. And we were just like sitting. in, it was out of like a restaurant and we were sitting in the, you know, so the, there's like the special rooms they have. Yeah, yeah. But it was just us and I was just like, holy shit. He became principal. Yeah, he's a principal. Yeah, he's a big producer. He was produced Kenny for a big bar. Did he really? Yeah, yeah. A lot of people, it's different episodes. Drake commercials. Do I want to drop the Kenny versus Spennybom? Sure. I don't know Kenny. I don't, you know Stefan pretty good. I think Kenny's going to be a skank fest because he tagged me

for some reason saying he's going to be a skank fest. So I was going to have Kenny in my show. and he backed out, whatever. It was, it was nothing echromonious or anything like that. And I did a little Nancy Drewing online. And there was a lot of debate on Reddit and other places about whether that show was fake or not. Mm-hmm. And I don't remember how I found this,

but I found Spenny's divorce filing, which, and it showed that he was... I wasn't mad or anything that he canceled, but... Anyway, this is private eye I hired You're not listening. You're not listening. I said it wasn't acrimonious. I didn't say I wasn't mad.

I said it didn't get contentious. So I'm nine weeks into my hunt. I didn't have AI then. It took me nine weeks. So he was married during that show. So all that stuff about him trying to get laid or whatever was fake. Yeah.

No, the guys who made my movie were they worked on that show. And they didn't live there. It's like a reality show style where it's... No, but they insist that it's real. Yeah. It's like a little K-Fabe. Yeah.

Right. Yeah. So that, yeah. Yeah, like, it's kind of the, like, I don't know. Like, they're out in public doing stuff. Like, they were actually doing that. Yeah, that's just.

But then they're building the story line. Like, I remember watching there's like this channel in Canada called Showcase. That's where it aired. And it aired and I don't, and I used to watch it all the time. I don't remember ever thinking it was real. I thought it was real. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I thought it was like real to the extent. I thought they were made. Yeah. Oh. I thought they lived there. Yeah. I thought they lived there.

think they lived there. Well, they probably did for like the time. With the time, yeah. Yeah. You know. Yeah, yeah. The way that you live in a reality show has. But it's the parts that were funny, like kind of did happen.

Correct. It's like a lot of these reality shows aren't fake. They're staged. It's not, but it's not scripted. It's just like get a room and go nuts and they do. Yeah, yeah. And sometimes they'll be like, can you try saying that again? Yeah, right.

But it's still not really fake. No. Yeah, I don't know fake is the right way, but you're like, yeah, stage. I mean, some of them are totally fake. Some of them are really, and some of them are like kind of Yeah, yeah, depends. Yeah. Production.

So anyways, that's how you found out through finding out his divorce proceedings. They had to, that got found out in discovery. Well, no, it was a, no, no, the suit was, I, you know. You just saw it was the timelines. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Speaking of weddings, I don't know if you saw that, uh, great segue, Ryan. Big controversy. Comedy unleashed.

Big controversy. Speaking of weddings. Have you seen these clouds in Congress? What a bunch of clouds. What a guy. You're going to have to do a full act out from your chair, unfortunately. That's the,

you mentioned you had a thing to say about... Earlier you were mentioning that you thought it was interesting that Donald Trump didn't go to his son's wedding? You said that to me earlier. You had a bit of a spiel on that. That's our work spiel. I did not have anything to say. I gave him the past.

They should give the pass. Oh, I, I, give me the K word. Yeah, the Yush pass. That's not a word. That's like a hipster word. It's so funny when people use that word online. I see it's almost on your shirt. But it's just like,

your territorial over spiel. But Jews aren't offended by that word. It's like, call it someone a sheenie. It's like, who says this? I heard someone say in the wild. I was listening to a prison documentary, and it was a guy that was pretty recently. And he goes, in passing, threw around.

He was like, yeah, I know is this. And the guy jude me a little bit. And I was like, I haven't heard Jude mean a little. That's fine. And like, Jip means gypsy. Yeah. Just haven't heard it. I mean, they've tried to say now that you can't even say gypsy.

They're actually saying now, not even Jews. Who's they? Yeah. I remember when like I was probably, I want to say like almost in high school. And then like a teacher was like, yeah, Jip is like a pejorative. Well, you know, Jerry rigging is Jerry like German, but it used to be N-word rigging. And they still say that in the Midwest. Whoa.

No. Yes. Half-ass it, right? I mean, you've got to have some balls to be dropping that. No, you don't. If you're saying it, you don't have to worry about it because you're going to be in a safe space for you. It's not like you're saying...

These people in their safe spaces, huh? Yeah, thank you. You're saying where the rigging takes place, the people care of it. It rolls off the tongue better. It does, though. Interesting. Yeah, I thought that was a guy named Jerry, Sailor. Sailor Jerry.

I believe that was... That's where that comes from. What's the update on North Korea? Korea. Yeah. So, okay, I'll give you an update in North Korea. All these people... You don't want to tell me your Trump Shbiel?

I don't have any Trump. What do you mean? No, I'm kidding. No, people are just mad because his son's junior's getting married. Right. And then Trump's not going to it. It's not the first wedding, though. It's a second wedding.

I agree. I thought he meant it's the first, not the first wedding. But they're married already. Yeah. Oh, it was just a ceremony. Yeah. They're married already. It was more of a party.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. too, which anyone who makes people go to Hawaii for their wedding has got some... It was in the Bahamas, actually. I thought it was why.

And loki, it's very possible he's under some kind of assassination threat that he doesn't want to make public. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Okay. Because that's a secret service thing, too. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I know.

So they could be telling him... We did the Bitcoin conference and Cash Patel couldn't come because of that... Yeah, he was missed. Was he? No. He zoomed in and there was 12 people there.

Oh, wow, they doubled their numbers from last year? No, there was actually lots of people there But for the event But it was on the It was this whole thing on the internet Where everybody was like There's nobody here

And it was the VIP day Okay So it was this like It's where we did our little thing And it's like this airplane hanger 2,500 people Oh shoot Basically Michael Seller was full

Everyone else It was you know 400 people Yeah Okay Yeah In like an airplane hanger Okay

So it seemed not full Uh North Korea So there was a lot of talk Recently That Kim Jong-un's daughter Was officially named the successor Yeah It's not true at all.

They don't talk success in session in North Korea. In fact, when the great leader Kimmel-sung was in charge, someone at the top was like, what are we going to do when you pass away? And for asking this,

he got set to the countryside or this family to work on a dirt farm for the rest of his life. How many years, I don't know. So you don't ever talk about the leader dying or things like that. And it's also...

You don't start poking around it as well. Right. And it's also super patriarchal country. So the idea that they're going to put over a girl, I'm extremely skeptical about it. Seems unlike. Yeah. So all those headlines were just like, this never happened.

Do you actually have, do you know people who you can like speak with in North Korea? Is it totally like, uh, no, they, no. So if you, you're getting, you're getting someone killed potentially. Well, the thing with North Korea is the great, man, we really took a turn in this episode. Uh, the dear leader, the great leader Kimmel Sung said class enemies have to be exterminate three generations. So something bad, someone's something bad, three generations are punished. They don't have individual punishment. Yeah.

So your whole family is going to get punished. Yeah. Something you don't know who did it. Right. And for three generations. That's real generational trauma. Where that is. Here people say generational trauma where it really meant like, I'm sorry I couldn't be on time.

My grandfather had a rough life. We know who you're referring to. We know who you're referring to. Do you think they have like, no women? You think they have like some shitty version of like commie AI there? No. Do you think they have like, because they have like phones. Well, now they do have phones.

You have to be wealthy. And it's also, it's also an intranet. Oh. It's like, it's like, internet for your company. And also the government watches your whole phone. Yeah, yeah, they watch everything. No, but it's like explicit. But that's what I'm saying.

I'm curious if they're like, here's like this, you know, their version. It's like, very low red. They don't think they have Jeeves yet. No, I'm serious. I think they're running like Windows 95. I'm not kidding. Have you ever seen that YouTube video of this guy and he was stealing them? He was like hacking satellites and he got their TV.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay. Have you seen that? That's pretty crazy. Like he just, he got. like just live TV from North Korea via like intercepting a satellite feed and it's,

uh, so much of it is just like, you know, every commercial is basically just like how good Kim Jong-un is. Well, I'm gonna steal man that because when you go there, if you look around Times Square or Harold Square, all the,

they have the same amount of billboards, but instead of it being boner pills, it's about Korea or the leaders. So it's not as crazy as it sounds in that regard. Yeah, no, no, no. I think it's crazy in the context of like here. Yeah. I mean, I was in...

Instead of a call the lawyer, it's just like, just reminding you how sick he is. Oh, no, just how awesome we are. Yeah, right. Like, when I went to Thailand, I watched a, we went to a movie theater, and before a movie, they do, like, everybody in the theater has to stand, and it's like a five-minute video of the king. Oh, when I went to, oh, my God, this is one... By the way, if anyone hasn't gone to Tokyo, I hate Japanese culture and all that stuff, but I went there and I'm like that, like, that girl in college who went to Africa. Like every photo of you is just like... Yeah, no, no, I just...

It was so amazing. And I went to the cup of soup factory. Oh, really? Museum. Oh, right. A cup of noodles, sorry. And they have a propaganda movie about the guy who invented a cup of noodles and how hard it was. And at one point... His adversity?

What's that? His adversity had to overcome? Yeah, it's really hard. And at one point, he... The other people copied his formula. So for like, I figure what excuse they used. But like, for the good of the market, all the companies... companies got together and colluded

to keep prices at a certain level and they're bragging about how great this was. A noodle cartel? What? It's like a noodle cartel? And they're bragging about the creation of this noodle cartel. You're supposed to like... And it's like cartoon? So it's like

even weirder. Yeah, just the lady coming in to try to get a noodle for her son and she only has this much. Price went off. They're kicking her down and that's what was allowed this to continue. Yes. Yeah, exactly. So if anyone goes, there I highly recommend it. The real soup Nazi.

You know, he used to be here around here, like 10 blocks north. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. He was, I think, Armand. Never moved to L.A. after his big success? Oh, that, no, he,

has, I think he's what, Armenian or something. Whatever it was, his country, like, was, like, destroyed by the Nazis. Okay. And he was crazy. So this really bothered him. Oh, he didn't.

Oh, he hated it. Oh, he hated it. Yeah. Did you ever go there? Yeah, it was amazing. But was he really, really like that? Have you ever,

I'm setting up to comedians, but this is true. Have you ever talked to someone for like a couple of minutes like, okay, something's wrong with this person? Yeah. He was, like, there's some

around at a time. There's something really wrong with him. Yeah, yeah. But what do he like actually if you were? Well, no, there's a sign that's the list of of how to order blah, blah, blah.

And you had to follow it. Right. And he would kick you out a line. But it's not really, he just wouldn't call on you. It was a stand. So it's not like you're going inside anywhere. And people just did it.

Persian. Persian, okay. Persian. Okay. Oh, really? Huh. I don't know why I thought he was Armenian. I have a theory that, uh, this is not North Korea specific, but it was kind of making

me laugh that. So if you think about, am I really, you know what's happening? I think that I'm, I'm, uh, he took a pretty bad spill earlier. I did. This is a pretty crappy spill I took, but I just, I did a flyer where I pretend, and I was doing parkour and then I jumped up on the chair to get the photo and then the chair flipped out and I smashed my back on a cooler on a giant cooler and this is like a bit of guys you're actually killing me right now and now he can't pronounce polyeth anymore I think that's what happened

I thought it was getting better like you know what happened I think that uh I like got rid of some of the Canadian things and then I sort of got them back again because I started after his spill well no I started being like I'm just going to talk the way that I like I stopped caring about assimilating. And talking about projects? Yeah, project. Yeah. Well, okay, so... Do you go back to spelling with the U? No, but I'm doing rumors next weekend.

And... And also, like, autocorrect is still for my phone. Me too. Wait, rumors, is it a club? Yeah, and he's having with you, so I have been spelling it that way for that reason. But it's also to be a Fleetwood Mac reference. Yes. And is there's rumors with a O? No, they would be with a U as well. Okay. Yeah, yeah. This is the only country that just decided to

remove the U as far as I understand. That is efficient. It is. Honestly, whenever I'm spelling, because now I've removed all the U. There was no need for it. I know, this is so much better. Here's, it's, oh, I was a spelling me champion, pan the back. It still drives me crazy that a mong,

a mong doesn't have, Neat, Among, should have a U in it. Among. Like Young has a U in it. I mean, English has a million of those things. I know, but that's the one always bothered me. Anyway, you were saying,

yeah, among. About what? Your brain damage. My brain damage. Well, if you, okay, so if you, if people will say Asians look the most the same, right? And you're not, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, no, no, no, we're pausing here. We're pausing here. A lot of people.

Well, no, no, no, first of all, you know, Asians think white people look the same. Of course. Correct. Everybody thinks, but that doesn't make sense. Everybody thinks their in-group is totally variable. No, no. We have different hair color at least. Yeah, more variance.

That would be a distinction. So I started looking into it when I was sort of thinking about this. You know, there's a website called all looks same.com, right? What? this is like 20 years ago I'm showing my gray hair All looksame.com or dot net and you have to figure out the person's Chinese, Japanese

or Korean Oh, all looks same. Here we go. Yeah. That's funny. Pretty good. So, boys, this episode is brought to you by Merrick Health. If you've not been feeling your best lately, maybe you're a little sluggish, low energy,

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Absolutely. You're just like, hey, I take three supplements. You go, which one does anything? I have no idea. Yeah, how are my levels doing in this? You go, I don't know. Maybe I'll take another one. It's your cholesterol.

Like, what's your blood pressure? I don't know. Yeah, yeah. You know anything. You basically add everything up. Flying blind. And even if you did do it without a right person to go through it for you, you wouldn't still know what's going on anyway.

Yeah, you don't even know what's going on. Right. So this is the best way to do it. It's simple and easy. and they actually do stuff that helps. They're ahead of the times. A lot of times they're doing stuff American. Oh, yeah.

You know, I mean, this is years, this is several years ago now, and they were like, yeah, everybody's going to be taking the low dose to Delafil. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's like, even I see now, like, women taking it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they're not just trying to treat things. Turns out as good for you. They're actually making it better. You were a pioneer. I actually was a pioneer, and I've said, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I needed someone with some authority to be like, you, brother.

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Once again, use the code BoyceCast for 10% off at Merrick Health and Merrick Diagnostics at Merrickhealth.com. Well, I started thinking about it. I was kind of doing this for a joke and I was talking about this. And I was like, who is actually

technically the most least variance in an image, right? Oh, okay. So I started kind of looking it up. And it is, basically Japanese and one of the reasons, so the least variance in populations is from they had the least immigration.

That's right. So, and white people had more, you know, mixing of different types. The Vikings raping everybody in everything. But if you go to certain parts, like maybe Iceland or something, you go, they actually do. Right. So whereas most white people and all, so you go, they would say it's racist to say Japanese people, but in reality, Japanese people do look the same

and it's because they're racist. Right. But no, you're wrong. Because they said, we're not going to allow any immigrants. No. We got to keep our bloodline pure. And because of that, they have the least diversity. Okay, hold on.

Let me break this down. Okay. Where's the flaw in that logic? Koreans say that they are the most racially, North Koreans, the most racially pure country. Well, maybe it's them then. Hold on. Is them? So they, uh, they, uh, there's, the great leader Kim Il-sung even said that not one drop of ink

shall be spilled in the Han River, meaning there will be not one person in her breeding. And if women are, escape to China. You think he's talking about semen? Yes. Yes. When women go to China and are often sold to slavery or raped, if they're repatriated, they're beaten until they miss Gary

because they don't want Korean Chinese to interbreed. The Japanese I would question because just like the Vikings, they were raping all the Chinese women and all the Korean women and there are a lot of those kids that came out. So I bet you the Koreans are more racially pure than Japanese. Sorry, did I say Japanese?

Yes. They're the same to me. That's Korean. Which is the nowhere the eyes point up as supposed to down. Who peeing your Coke again? Have you been Korean this all the time? I was asking you to apologize. I just did the test.

I got an 8 out of 18. Oh, that's not good. Wait, can you look up who's the most who's more racially? That's Claude. Oh, no, it takes all. This is a, by the way, the project you're about to embark upon.

You're not going to get easy answers. You have to, is that right? You think AI's just giving that one out willy-nilly. You've got to fight it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's a long debate with AI. That's a night.

If you want to get ChatGPT, you're going to admit. You've got to ask GROC. GROC will give you the answer. Yeah, Grok's the racist one. GROC is the racist one. GROC will be a good at them. Giac has never turned down any sort of AI image that I wanted to make. It has never declined.

I had, I asked Chad GPT to draw Charlie Kirk and George Floyd hugging in heaven and it wouldn't do it. Yeah, I wouldn't do it. Groc will do it all day. Chat GPD would never do that. I didn't do it. Right. If you raise it somebody who looks exactly like person. I shouldn't have to do a dance for my robot.

The robot dances for me. Great point. I haven't even thought about it like that, but I am dancing for this robot. But see, I don't see it as dancing. I see this sparring. Well, I'm not sparring for fucking robot.

I can't win. He's a fucking robot. You are dancing for the robots. Yeah. So my point would still be logically sound with Koreans then. Yes. So you go, okay, if you said

they're, it's racist to say that they look the same, but the reason they look the same is because of the racist. Yes, correct. And my high school, I was high school here at Ivison was half Asian, the Korean kids

did not talk to the Chinese kids. Oh, yeah. They kept their beefs alive? It's not a beef. They think they're better. Yeah. It's not a beef. There's a real like, you know, obviously, yeah, hierarchy. Everybody, I think, agrees Japanese are at the top. Well, not everybody agrees. Well, I think non-Asian. My friend. I can find you

a billion people that don't agree with that. Yeah, yeah. And they're all they only have seven names. Yeah, yeah. But I think non-Asians kind of agree. They go, yeah, no, no, no, no. Hold on, hold on. Chinese are making a pull. Chinese are doing great. Korea has more money per capita now. Yeah. So they're pulled ahead.

That's... So that's our metric. Yeah, I don't think that's... I think that's out here kind of... You're like, oh, everyone knows that you... Britain's better than America, and you're like, yeah. I mean, a lot of people don't agree with that. I don't know how many people actually think that.

If you're great, you'd have to call yourself great. Yeah. Europeans would say that. Yeah. No, they wouldn't. They don't like the British in Europe. Mm, okay. I, the first, when I was on,

like people from France don't like the British. When I was on Rogan once, the thing of that show is like sometimes you'll say something and you don't think about it and then... Were you talking about the boys with them? I was not. I said, I made a comment about, why are British people so ugly?

And it was just a comment and I got a lot of heat. But it turns out that is the most commonly Googled question about British people in Europe. Stop it. There was articles about this. So vindication for me. What is the reason for that? I didn't read the articles.

Okay. I just was glad. If you were to hypothesize. That's a good question because they're alpha, right? They have an empire. You think they have the pick of the litter in terms of who they're... No real reason. They've never had crazy famines like the Irish.

You know, they've never had these like crazy food supply issues. They have... They're... It's not like some crazy amount of imbreeding because there's lots of them. I got it. Because they can be. You know your alpha when you look like all and you're having your pick of the litter. I will add to this

is that potentially there was very much like you know how people say like class is kind of more important there and maybe race people talk about more here. Whereas if you were like in most places where there's

like class isn't so ingrained the like a rich person's like well I'm just going to marry the hottest girl whereas there it might be like well you know you have to marry one of these rather rich people so like it's not a So, because of that, it's not like everyone's fucking the, you're not like you're fucking the rich people more than you're fucking the hot guy or something. It's true though.

And you kind of stay in your lane. Yeah. Yeah. That's a great theory. I think that's probably true. Because evolutionary, yeah, if there's more intermingling, it's like the good looking people are going to have way more kids in that sort of population. But it's based more on your status. Yeah, look at Camilla.

She's hideous. Right. She looks like a fucking purse. Purse. I'm serious though But like Diana was like an aberration Because she was beautiful Yeah

But like like Ferguson's not hot What's that? Kate's alright Oh yeah she's beautiful That's fair Yeah But it's not You like again you would think that they would be Like was Kate was Kate

She was noble though She was wealthy Oh she was wealthy But not noble Yeah But you would think that at that level Like based on the American standard You're batting a thousand

Right yes And they're not Right What's her name Megan Markle She's got kids Right When they weren't that accepting, when they bring a hot chicken, like Deanna, obviously they brought her in.

They were a little hot for their liking. Yeah, right. That's why she did. The queen killed her. Like, I don't know if you know what we do here. Sort of like a seven family. Like, when you said, when you said seven, I thought you meant the movie. Queen Elizabeth was a looker in her day.

I think she was elegant. I wouldn't call her pretty. I think she was all right. Queen Elizabeth, that's doing it for you? I'm just saying. Look at Queen Victoria. In your top three? Yeah, Victoria, maybe not.

Yeah, Victoria now. No. But Queen Elizabeth was all right. Maybe I've been indoctrinated because she was all our money. But also having this big theory. I can see why people, like, if you're in London, you just like, people are, she's like, we're not ugly. They are, though.

Britain's the only country where, like, the guys are better looking. The teeth is a weird thing because it's unnecessary. Well, it's just, I know they go to dentists. Like, I think that was the common kind of refrain was they're like, oh, they don't go to, they go to, they go to dentists. It's like, there is some genetic component. Yeah, because the dentist isn't. If your teeth are crooked, it's not.

dental. Like, they don't have sweeter food. Like, their sweets aren't sweeter. It's not like they have cavities. It's just that the teeth are crooked. Yeah, I don't get it though. But like, they go to dent jaws too. Yeah. Hmm. I'm trying to think if there's any, you know, I don't know if I want to rank the looks of like every place, but there was, you got to think there's some other places in Europe where, you know, some people have a bit of like a, you know, like a bit of a beat down look in certain places. Oh, I think I feel like Sweden's probably. No, no, Sweden's the opposite. Yeah. I think some of those probably like weird Eastern. European countries.

Right. Where the eyebrows connect. You know, the guy's 30 years old and he looks like a 60 year old construction worker. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. I feel like the countries we would mention are also the ones who are most proud of the country and most prone to violence. So I feel like this is a good time to stop talking.

Prone to civil war. And this country's not for violent women because the women look like fridges and I'm not going to talk about it. Okay. I actually, although this is funny

I know the stereotype, I've not personally thought that that British people are gross, in my opinion. No, I don't think they're gross. I'm just saying if you're forced to rank. No, no, here's how. What passes the hot chicken Britain would not catch anyone's eye in New York.

Yeah, that's what's shocking. They have weird hairdos and their plastic surgery's bad, but... I don't think it's that. Yeah, part of it is that for sure. That, like, if you watch, like, reality shows where they have the American version, the British version, They all get hatchet jobs on their face over there. But also, I think, but what, they have, I'm sure they have access to great.

Not all the good surgeons moved to the U.S. They're all in Hollywood. London is, they go, no, London has plenty of good. I'm telling you, all the top surgeons, all the top surgeons left, like London. Yeah. And then they go in and they're just like, I don't know, everyone left. They're like, I don't know, we have, I guess, do we have the, the assistant. I can't import them.

I can't import them from. I'm not the first person to say that. That's actually a theory that a lot of people say that they do bad plastic surgery there. I'm not sure. Some of it might be taste. It might not be a skill thing. I think they tan badly. They dress badly.

They overdo the tan. Bad attitudes. It's just, they overdo the tan. They're a mess. Yeah, they basically, you guys know what Gemma Collins is? No.

This Gemma, look her up. G. M.MA. She's like one of their media personalities. She's like 300. Whoa. Pounds? Yes. That's some like progressive bullshit.

No, no. She's one of these party girls. She's like a Kardashian over there. You guys? with Gemma Collins? No, but you can be famous now and, you know, being on that. Like, but I think that I don't know if every, if you went to every guy in Britain, they're just like, oh, fuck, yeah.

That's true, but I'm just saying, the dream. Do you see her? Yeah. She's a mess. It's a big girl. But she's like, I don't know. Very tan. I don't know what the fuck is. But again, weird hair dye job.

Great teeth. Mm-hmm. Great teeth. Or Jordan's the other one. Her name put Jordan model. She has like gigantic jugs, but her kids all had water in the brain or something. something and that he's all fucked up. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what we're talking about. This is

more what we're... Yeah. Yeah, but that's a look, but I'm telling you. Pull up her kid, Jordan Jordan Model's good. But that's not because she's ugly. She just looks mad British. She's hot. But she looks mad British. She looks like she has terrible like filler and... That's what I'm saying. They all do these it's a weird look. Yeah. It's been a, it's been that way since the

dawn of time. But maybe they look at the sort of Hollywood plastic surgery and things like that was chompers on her. We're used to it. Oof. Now, the lips do look like they've been punched in the face. That's just going for that kind of blow-up doll look. The blow-up doll.

It's a good way to put it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you guys been there in the UK? Yeah, we were just there a couple years ago. Yeah, I was just there over the summer. It was kind of interesting. I like it there. A little dreary.

Yeah, I didn't like it. I've been there a few times. It's not my favorite place, that's for sure. I used to love, so Toronto was my second favorite place, so they destroyed it. Toronto's still sick. Is it? Oh, yeah, as a city? You still have COVID.

Yeah, very sick. Still have very much COVID. I mean, the tax rate's 94%. It's not nothing crazy. We're almost there. I mean, the tax rate is arguably. I don't know if you know about their new policy, but they have like height requirements

where if you're any standard deviation over the mean, you have to get rid of a couple inches. Is that right? Getting in that bed, the percussed bed. They've done, they have a height communism thing going on. Yeah, they've, they have dick size, socialized dick sharing. I don't know if you know that.

but that's called homosexuality well they were they were gonna add that is funny thing gay homosexuality is socialized dick sharing this is the gayest country call it Gloria

Canada? Oh yeah No it's not It's up there Thailand They got a lot less What's the gay Around six years France

France is gayer than Canada Francis is way gayer You think so? Let me stop it I mean France even the straight guys are gay Yeah but that's

But they're getting so much ass, though, those guys. That's a lot of, think about a lot of the guys you know that are like, I got this. Yeah, thank you. Gay guys tend to get a lot of ass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's got to their thing. Female ass. It's all the same to Polshock.

Ass is ass. Mouth is a mouth. Eddie holds a goal, right, Danny? What's the gayest cut? France is up there. The idea that it's not one of those, yeah. Those guys, I know what Danny's saying. Like, he's kind of saying, well, it's this

European, whimsical sexual thing where I'm bisexual but really I'm like crushing puss and you're just like a Russell Brandy starts a situation and you go sort of and they but like they also have more actual gay guys I meant more like the government's policies

I'll tell you all the Africans are probably bringing down the gay Yeah like I I I'm okay Are you saying they're in the On the down low? I was on God this is I was with five Africans last night Let's just say. I was on Glenn Beck's show a couple years ago,

and he was cracking up because he heard this expression, men who have sex with men. And he's like, oh, look how crazy woke culture has gone. And I had to tell him, they had to make this stuff in the 80s because all these black dudes on the DL were giving AIDS to their girlfriends, and they didn't identify as gay,

because I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, can I say, can I curse? Can I say a bad word? What do you think you are? I'm not a faggit. Like, just because I fucking do, doesn't make me a fucking. So that, so they had to call it men who have sex with men. That's super funny. It's like the law and order.

That famous icedee clip where he's like, I got, he's like, I'm not gay. He's like, I got news for you. You're gay. Yeah. So that was a thing. Yeah, I can see that. Is it gay people? No.

Wow. Like third in the world. Like in terms of most gay people? Brazil is. Not most gay people. most gay per capita. Oh, I wasn't even talking about the most gay people. You're just saying it as the most gay people.

I was talking about more like the essence of the country. Yeah, I agree with you. That's what I was talking about who has the most gay. And what was your conclusion of the gayest? Canada, or it's up there. No. In terms of essence. No, you don't know.

Some of those European countries are maxed out. I know. It's not gay. Yeah. Like, Canada's womenly. Some of those countries are like straight up gay maxed, dude. Like Belgium or one of those weird ones? Yeah, one of the ones like Finland or something.

You don't even like know where you just. like the no not Finland Finland's the first European country where the white nationalists got into Parliament yeah yeah it's a government yeah but that's how that happened oh by the way okay point second point honestly like that is no you're right point taken point taken I can get the reaction that's right you're right how do you think we got here like the few guys that just like had enough yeah you're right you're absolutely right I will say by the way can I ask a question about the boot I think you're actually hearing you wrong because I don't think I

say that. Because he has tonight is tinnitus now ever since he cracked us that open. He is deaf. Are you? I think

I have a little bit of a hearing issue, a little bit of a seeing issue. What is that? Real Magoo situation. You know who did his voice, right? Mr. Howell from Gileas Island. Oh, really?

Yeah. I mean, I'm fine. I have bad eyes, bad ears, bad, I'm bad. You're the guys who are blurry. You should go see a doctor who have a shape.

That's why I don't even need the Japanese. My eyes blur the dicks themselves. Yeah. What were you going to ask? So, in terms of political systems, because you're probably like the anarchist, correct? Well, no. Nomechomsky.

Nomechomsky's an anarchist? He's the most famous one. I thought he was like a kind of a government guy in a weird way. He does go that route, which makes me very unhappy. And Russell Brand identifies an anarchist. Dave Smith is an anarchist. I thought Dave Smith are libertarian, and Russell Brand has a new thing every week. He's like an evangelical Christian now.

giving you guys the list. So he says he's an anarchist. Yes. And I give him shit about it. Is he still one? I'm sure he is, yes. Oh, because I thought now, like, is there a lot of anarchists that are, like, baptizing people in the rivers and stuff like that?

Are you thinking of Anabaptist? Well, I'm just saying Russell Brand is, like, straight up, like, super Christian. Now he's a Tolstoy was a Christian anarchist. No. Okay. Okay. There's a big Christian anarchist subsection. Hmm.

So, okay, maybe I'm missing what? it is. If you heard, give me the boiler pitch. Well, no, if you believe that only God, so the reason Rhode Island became a state is because there was a few of them from, I think, Massachusetts

and Anne Hutchison was one and her husband, and they're like, you can't have intermediaries between people and God, right? Like, God talks to you directly of a personal relationship, so they were called Antonomians, meaning they didn't recognize like authority, and that

They're like the original sovereign citizens. They were. I'm not kidding at all. Yeah. And what's... They're lucky tasers didn't exist back then. And what's even crazier, she gave birth to a hydrocephalic...

I don't remember what the word is mole, M-O-L-E. And what that is, it's like a massive tissues where it's just like fingers and eyes. And that was taken as proof that she's demonic. Right. But this is...

Can you look this up? Ann Hutchinson, Mole, M-O-L-E. And she was killed by Native Americans while hiding behind a rock. And that rock is on an expressway in the Bronx so you can see where she got like scalped by Elizabeth Warren's grandparents.

Point being Christianity and anarchism have gone hand in hand for even for the term anarchism was a thing. You're not a Christian. I'm not a Christian. Okay, well, I feel like in punk and like music culture, when everyone, there's kind of a big thing where most people will say on the internet

especially, but like in those scenes of like punk's always been kind of leftist or whatever, right? But it was like almost true that like a lot of the biggest punk's been like like anarchy stuff. Well, the sex pistols especially, right? Yeah, sure. And just in general, like those patches.

But then also, like, yes, you would see the Che Guevara side of it. And then you would also see the, like, anarchy symbol side of it. Sure. But I feel like that was their description of anarchy is almost more like nihilism. Yes. I mean, he said Johnny Rodney explicitly sang with, there's no future. That was the lyric. Okay.

So is that, like, that side of culture when they talk about anarchy, are they kind of saying it wrong? Yes. I mean, I don't think the sex pistols had a very well-informed political philosophy, to put it mildly. I'm a huge fan of theirs, and I can go on for a long time. But this was Britain in the mid-70s. When Great Britain, during Queen Victoria's era, had the British Empire, you could say, honestly, the sun never set in the British Empire because it circled around the world. In the 70s, they had blackouts. They had mandatory rationing of electricity. The garbage during the strike was hitting two. two meters tall in Lester Square. It was a disaster. And the argument was, we had Iran and now we're like in decline. So when the sex pistols came out 75-76, they're singing,

there is no future in England's dreaming. They weren't joking. They're like, we have no, this country's fucked. And what hope do you have for us? You guys are full of it. And then Thatcher came in

and revitalized it in 79. But the 70s in the Great Britain was a very, very dark place. And you were being told, like, this is, get used to it because it's not getting better. So that's a really sick message to tell kids.

What are the biggest mistakes they made? Was it like just straight up over-regulation of everything? No companies can exist. Was it just like crazy inflation? There's also even a song called The Great British Mistake by the adverts, which are a superb British punk band. No, so, do we want to get history of British politics? In the 70s, they had something called...

Well, I guess if I... The point maybe to make is like, is what's... How much of that is what America is now? No, the issue in the British in the 70s, they had something called consensus politics, right? So the idea was, let's everyone get together, put your views out, and we're going to meet somewhere in the middle and move that way forward. The problem is if everyone has the same solution, that solution isn't working, keep doubling down, the problem is going to get worse and worse. So Labor and the Tories, which were the two main parties, they had like three elections within two years, and they kept alternating, but their policies were identical. The issue was inflation was like double digits, right?

So like, let's suppose inflation is 15% a year. Well, the unions say, I want a raise of 17% a year because if I get a 10% a year raise, I'm losing money. Because my money's losing its value faster that I'm getting my raise. So they're both going up and up. No one knew how to stop the inflation or the unions getting more and more money. And then you have complete kind of economic devastation. And in 78, after Thatcher took over the Tories, their slogan, which they did with the advertising company, Satchee and Satchez, are still around. was brilliant. Their slogan just said,

Labor isn't working. Right. And they had the billboards had lines and lines and lines of people waiting for their welfare a role. And her point was, would you ever have anything great or anything of value if you sat down and said, brother, I believe in consensus? And she goes, you need conviction politics.

I have my point of view. You have your point of view. Let the people decide. And they have a choice. And that worked. And it worked for Trump, too. That was his kind of approach. as well. Like, fuck you, this is my way. Pick. And now that I want, we're doing it my way. And I'm not fucking sitting down with you because you're full of shit. You can say the same thing about Mondami and Spencer Pratt.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, for sure. I mean, that's the easiest job in politics. We were saying there's just like, look at a city that's not going good and being like opposite of that. Well, I don't think Mondani was saying the opposite of Eric Adams, was he? And no, he was more saying, I'm going to do it for real. Yes, right. That's right. Yes, yes. I just go to the other version. of like, I'm going to actually do it. More radical.

But people want that, and I don't blame them. No. It's expensive to live here. My friend was just telling me that his rent. I couldn't even believe it. Well, I was actually thinking about yesterday because sometimes I'll say it's more the taxes are higher here

than in Canada. But like, you know, me and Ryan have the same deal where we live in a place where like a third of the units are essentially subsidized. by us. That's right. Yes. So it's like if I factor that in, my taxes are way higher.

But it's also the quality of life. All these other things I make them more expensive. It's crazy. Yeah. I don't miss New York at all. Yeah. You know, what would be cool here? The glory holes.

I miss what it was. Like, I read a lot of books and movies about old New York. Yeah. But I just, I don't know how I lived here. I couldn't live here now, I don't think. Yeah, you have to buy into this. I don't think you could leave and come back. That's right.

You can't get to be married. to some other higher standard living and then spend more money to lower your standard living. And for what? Yeah, yeah. There was, we've kind of talked about here

the idea that I think... There it is again. You got a jar. You can put a Canadian quarter in a room. Talked about... Put a loon. A loonian. Talked out how the future will be

the best for people that are mobile, because like everything's changing so quick. Oh, yeah. And we sort of said that and then someone actually, this is like on a Patreon, but he messes and he goes, there's a futurist Alvin Tofeier, do you know that is?

Toffler. Yeah. Toffler. And he said his line was, the future is going to be for those who can, not who can read and write, but those who can learn, unlearn, relearn, like, and that's kind of that's a good point

where you go, right now, probably the hardest thing is, dude, there's so many people in so many industries where you go, that guy's just, you can't hire him because he's so set in his way. when everything changed so much.

And it was just like, I kind of see that as a good point where the amount of people that, how fast people can be like, oh shit, I have to forget all that and start again new. It's almost a hard thing to do.

I think a lot of people don't have the capacity for that. My greatest hack in the last year that I figured out how to do, because I used to be very skeptical of AI because I would ask a thing because it would just make up answers that I knew weren't right. I have a graphic novel Harvey wrote about me

and there was a panel from it and Grock would insist that, no, this isn't you, it's Tom Woods, and it's just like, I'm telling you it's you. And Grok says, ha, ha, you're trolling. And I'm like, holy shit, you're arguing with me about my own comic book. This is crazy. I got advice first. It's Tom Woods.

It was saying it was me. It's crazy. But what I started doing is, since so much of internet discourse is about people pretending not to understand things or generally not understand anything is just digging in, I say, hey, Grock, explain to Ryan, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And Grock understands what I'm saying and spells it out to you. and then Ryan will argue with GROC for hours. But now they're kind of quarantined into this AI little bubble.

Go talk to the robot. It's a babysitter. It's a baby sitter. It's for special needs kids. But the point is, in that situation, I would rather hire GROC, because GROC understands me better, is more articulate and can learn. Yeah. Which this human being cannot and refuses to.

Right. Yeah. So that's like kind of even, you're saying even further. that people that are kind of like in those bubbles are just going to be like fucked you're just going to be like hey you bring no you you don't not only do you not bring a value you're creating a cost yeah yeah what is uh you so you probably saw the pope and the pope and the pope and a i uh recently yes i did so i've been sort of on the opinion just period that like the pope gets too involved in every issue i know that's his whole deal it's not his whole deal okay then there you go i'm just like why do i have to care i don't know it's like the same reason if you're like oh so you're like oh Some of Mon said this, I go, okay. It's not his whole deal at all. Yeah. It's just become an ideal since Pope John Paul.

And you've had a lot of... So he came on the scene. Pope John Paul was the first guy that was like, I'm going to weigh in on everything. No, he wasn't the first guy, but I mean, just he, you know, became this very, I think, revered figure, even in non-Catholic circles. He did a lot with the Polish people in terms of fighting communism. And just he was Pope for a very long time. So, and he really, from my understanding, was like a real class act. And people really admired.

him. Then you had Francis and Leo, the new guy, and they're just like, like, freaking blue hairs, and they can't shut their mouths. Well, it's sort of like, it sounds like the way you're describing it is, you know, when people, you write books or you make things for like a TV network, you get all these notes. It's like if the first guy who invented notes had good notes. Yeah, right. And it's excruciated. Now you've got the, you know, the old guy's assistant there and his one guy's son, and they have some notes now, and you're just like, but the first first guy giving notes you're saying were actually good notes. Right. And also he stayed in his lane.

Okay. Yeah. And it was kind of like peace and, you know, brotherhood and like things that are like Christianity at its best. And the thing that Francis, who, like, if you guys talk to any Catholics, this really bothers them. So Francis was basically like a commie, right? So Francis was the last one? Right before. Yeah, yeah. He was sort of the like, not your grandmother's pope. Like, you can be gay. Just don't do it. You know. Right. And the thing is, when you're the, when you're the, when you're the, when you're

Pope, you have your own opinions, right? And then when you're speaking as the Pope, which is like Peter's seat, this is like God's representative on earth. Oh, he separates them. He didn't. So Francis would tap dance between the two and it's like, oh, you're fucking phony. Because you're presenting this as if this is like, I'm speaking as the Pope, but this is just you talking out of your ass. Yeah. And many, like every- He's saying God said this. He didn't say it, but that's the implication. You're still the Pope with what, you know, talking to a mic. So every Catholic guy. know who's like Catholic Catholic are like this the drug they're drunk crazy yeah and he did this intentionally and there's a girl like that no he was like a really like the other side yeah yeah he was like he looked like a vampire yeah and then he retired right yeah just because i don't want to do this anymore like just like for us gone because i'm tired of running i'm got to watch the boys fellas if you're not catching us on tour you're missing out we're having a ball on the road

meeting you people i'm going to be in winnipe next weekend. I got Spokane, Boston, Rochester, Denver, where I'm filming my special Albuquerque Kitchener, Moncton, Nashville, Kansas City, Tacoma, Phoenix, Edmonton, Calgary on the books at punchup.combe. Ryan Long. And I'm going to be next week, next Thursday in Brooklyn at the new improv. Come check that out. And then Stanford, Atlanta, Cleveland, Portland, Portland, Maine, Tacoma, Spokane, Atlantic City. You can get tickets at punchup.com slash Danny Paulschuck or Danny Comedy.com. Do you think that, like, from, if you think about it, like, from the anarchy perspective,

you probably would be super for, you know, the accelerationist when it comes to the day, I guess, right? Yes. I am, I'm very, very excited about what, because I think the internet. I'm excited with the robots, because I think the internet, and I'm sure you guys have seen this also, and everyone watching this has seen it, unless they've been a victim to it, has started making everyone crazier. Yeah. And it's just like, like, I'm sorry Erica Kirk is not. working with Jeffrey Epstein. Even if she had wanted to chronologically, it's not possible. And if you're at a space where this is like a topic of discussion, things have really taken

a turn. But what happens with, so our AI knows us better than we know ourselves, right? Like if I'm a serial company, one thing they do, they'll have a supermarket and they'll have a mock-up of their box and like they send people to shop, I think with glasses, and they can see where it's attracting your eye, what box you're picking up what you're getting. You're not even doing it consciously. You're just shopping, but they can track, okay. red, track 70% of people, blue 30%. Your AI sees where your eyes are on the screen all the time. It knows what you like.

It knows what you don't. Things that you're not doing on a conscious level. So when AI is going to be an individual babysitter, it's going to be used, I think, to calm people down and keep them docile because most people can't handle all this information. That's right. It just gives guys tits, yeah. That's right.

My problem with it is my wife uses it and she thinks it's infallible. she just thinks it can make no mistakes. Really? Yeah. She's not very... Well, yeah, you can see that. It presents itself as this all-knowing... Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, finish that sentence, sir. She just thinks that she...

She thinks it's amazing, and she just... I'm like, it makes mistakes, and she... It's mostly with her... Like, people don't? Yeah, well, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's mostly with her, like, hypochondria, so... Oh, what's your worst hypochondria story? Because I've got a good one. I don't...

Me personally? Yeah, I don't know, then. I'm like... I'm like the... Jews like immune to it. I have no like neuroticism. I took a dump once. It was jet black. Yeah. So I Google it. Here's what Google would tell you at the time. The guy can barely breathe. It was a, it was a colon cancer, stomach cancer, internal bleeding, or you had pepto yesterday.

And I'm sitting there, I'm like, why is that number four of this list? That's what happened. Yeah, yeah, that should be number one. I mean, one time I had intercourse with. with a woman, not to brag. Just the one time, literally went to go pee, peed blood. That happened with me. Didn't Google it. Didn't do it.

I just, well, I just, that's weird. Just went to bed. Well, she was, what's that called? Nothing. What's that called?

Just like a bunch of blood came out of that. That's weird. My hands are covered in blood. Also, my clothes are covered in blood. No, she was not on her period. Oh, that's what I thought you were getting at.

No, no, it came in, it was internal blood. No, she disobeyed him is what happened. It literally was like, I don't know,

what it was? Reader, I married her. Listen, when Polachuk says flip over, I recommend you flip over. Yes. You don't got to sell her twice. Because she can't hear anymore. She'll be doing herself a disservice. But no, I literally pissed blood didn't even.

Wait, but, okay, I'm sorry. Didn't Google? Blood is very thick and viscous. Doesn't come out like a liquid, right? Well, no, it wasn't pure blood. There was blood in my urine. Okay. Like, it was certainly like, it was, unmistakable.

unmistakable I go that's a lot of my urine yeah I go that's a lot of blood was it a lot it was like enough where it was pretty dark and you don't know what it you didn't care well I'm of the opinion where it happens

the third time yeah if it's a pattern if it's then I'll investigate then I'm concerned was there pain no no pain and I thought I go this is odd I say listen if it burns when I be the 45th time I remember thinking I go that's weird

And then I just went to bed. Did it taste weird? It tasted normal. Salty. Rare. Very sweet. Very sweet. I like my blood like I like my crime.

Rare. Yeah, but I literally didn't even worthy of a Google search nothing. Wow. Okay. I have a very... I've never... I mean, as I'm saying this,

I know you guys are going to be like, yeah, I can tell, but I have a very laissez-faire attitude towards my health. I had the comfort. back before I had the... Wow. Okay. Yeah.

I don't have a hypochondriac, but I think that one would at least be some... Nah, I'm the same as that. This is in Canada. Like, I can literally go to a dog... I can go to the emergency room for free. Five minutes away from my house. I feel... I feel like it depends.

Like, if I'm sneezed... Okay. I went to a Maha event in Austin, so Bobby Kennedy speak. Then a bunch of us, not including him, went to a restaurant and get some food. And the next day had food poisoning, right? and I was fine with it because we've all had it. You know it's going to be like a day or two that sucks. You know, your diarrhea, hopefully you're not puking, fever, sleepy.

You just got to ride it out. And I woke up for my fifth nap and we were bombing Iran. And I'm like, oh, I do not have it. Now I'm hard. I do not have the energy for this. I swept back to bed. But there's certain things, so I didn't care. I'm not going to call a doctor.

But there are certain things that I think are often indicative of something much worse. And peeing blood, I think, would be pretty high. It was a data point. It absolutely was a data point. Small one, but it was... I knew what I heard. Where if there was other things, then I would start to... But the thing is that usually means there are other things.

Well, but then that thing would happen. There would be something. Like, if I pissed blood the following day and the day after that, I would certainly go to the doctor. Are you not... But a one-off and what it was? So you still have no closure on this? I haven't pissed blood since. No, but you don't have closure.

No, I don't have closure. the fist in his ass didn't help, but we don't know for sure what it was. I mean, no, I don't have closure about, I heard he was someone's puppet. I didn't realize it was literal. You ever watch puppets who kill? I do remember puppets who kill. Absolutely. Canadian show.

Yeah, that and Kevin Spencer. Didn't watch that. You ever watch Kevin Spencer? Kevin Spencer. Yeah, puppets who go. I wasn't a huge fan of it. I like Kevin Spencer. I like the idea, but it wasn't a good execution.

You know, you mentioned that like everything, like you probably, obviously you have friends now on like the internet that we're all fighting. You know what I mean? That you're kind of friends with both. It really bothers me a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Like a lot. I don't want to hear your opinion on that a bit because you seem like you've been managed to sort of stay friends with different people.

But like it does feel like there was, you know, there's just so many alliances where they're, you know, we agree on most stuff. And then now it was kind of like, well, the two things we didn't agree on are the main thing. So that's a big part of it. And then also there was kind of like a time when people couldn't say things and it was nuance was sort of necessary. Now everyone's saying everything. So there's, you know, kind of there's like a whole bunch obviously like Israel is kind of like the huge part of it where even if you think of like libertarian guys it was that was like a huge, you know, the war stuff was a pretty big thing. Sure. But it took a back seat and then now it's in the front seat again.

So that's like a issue that. Yeah. And then there's other people there just like that's just like my 10th issue or whatever. Right. Right. But yeah, what's your take on like how much everyone's at war or also liberals left Twitter so now that they all had to fight each other. There's a guy. Yeah. It's a great question. I've been waiting for someone to ask it. It is very frustrating to me when I know with 100% certainty that if I got a couple of these people in a room together, they would disagree, but I have a perfectly nice conversation and enjoy each other's company. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I do know what I mean. That's what really bothers me about all this. And people who, I respect, you know, and just who are going at it violently, it's like, if you knew this guy,

you wouldn't be talking like this. And this is a person worthy of respect and vice versa. So it really, really upsets me. The other thing I really don't like is maybe this is my Russian upbringing, whatever, when people are like, oh, how could you are friends with such and such a person? It's like, A, I don't know you. And the idea that I'm going to be explaining who I've relationships with and to what extent what are you a cop like what are you talking about like KGB shit yeah it's so crazy to me and people like I did a book

with a Matt Hughes who's UFC fighter yeah and it's like when you're Matt Hughes is it oh is that GSP thing well no I think you would yeah that's what Jeff GSP French guys would say it I think that people would think he just walks around choking people out yeah it's like

the amount of time I've seen him fighting normal human is zero right so if people see you in a politics context and they see someone you disagree with in a politics context in their head it's not possible that you guys are friends yeah because why aren't you sitting around arguing all the time it's like you know sometimes i have friends and we don't talk about politics ever yeah yeah and that's fine i thought like uh there was a jimmy kimmel and adam kroll i'm like he's like he just got him he just got his start walk start on the walk of fame and they talked on each other's things and i'm like i have so many friends where i'm just like disagree on

most stuff it's like when telssy gabbert's not the only thing in the world. But for many people it is. For many people it is. Well, if you're an activist especially, you're an actor or if you're terminally online. Or if you're termily, yeah. I mean, I saw, did you see that thing it was out today about. But you kind of become a phony if you're not like a poll about

Hassan Piker and it was you know, people were asked like, essentially it was I think 60% of people were like I don't know who that is. Yeah, of course, yeah. You know, but then when you meet a terminally online person, you're like absolutely, obviously everybody knows who this is. Right. Right. It's, it's, I think the internet is getting more and more detached from

reality. Yes. I saw someone predicting that Thomas Massey. You're not fixing that, by the way. Oh, really? Yeah, you broke it. Oh, okay. I wasn't I was enjoying watching you struggle with it. He's going to jerry-rig it now. It's all that. It's, it, when people are terminally online and their entire identities,

their political views, like, why would you want to talk to someone like that? Like, I know what you're going to talk about. I know what you're going to say. You bring nothing to the table. I mean, I'm sure a lot of people were very shocked with the Thomas Massey thing. No, no, what I meant is like, are there people online saying that he is like a guarantee to be the next president. He's a better shot at Ross Perrault.

And someone I saw in my reply said, he's going to run. And when he loses, that's going to set off the next American Revolution so people can finally be free. I'm like, you're deranged. Yeah, you're deranged. It's like the guy from Kentucky. No, but even someone replied, you saw it during COVID, no one's taking up arms. Like, it's not happening. Yeah, it's not happening.

It's at all. No, no, things are too good here for the... That's right. Things are way too good. So we're not having a revolution because someone lost the election. The best candidate ever. Yeah, yeah. What are you talking about?

No, no, no. I mean, that would never. But, yeah, I was just saying back to the, you know, the people who think that Twitter is real life. Oh, they were extremely surprised. They're just like, oh, wait. He got smoked. Right.

I was shocked by the amount of she lost. So you see it as, like, one of the things is just people are too online. The, like, algorithms are pushing certain people. There's too many, like, incentive structures monetarily that, you know, you kind of are almost like a phony if you, don't like hate these people. If it's November and I'm a politician, right? And one person, I have two advisors and one person is saying, go out there and talk about it hard to put food on the table and fill up your gas tank. The other one is saying you should relitigate World War II. Who do you think

is going to score with the electorate? Like, who do you think votes? This is what's so crazy to me. And it's not even a question of like who's right or wrong. It's like what are people's priorities where they care about. At this moment. At this moment. And if I care about an issue very very passionately, it is almost impossible for most people to think there are other people who agree with me, but don't care that much. So if you have, let's suppose these numbers are not accurate, but if it's 50-50 pro-life, pro-choice, that doesn't mean the result be 50-50, because if those pro-life people are obsessed with it and the pro-choice people are like, this is like my fourth issue, the pro-life will win every

time because that's all they care about. Right. Yeah. People don't get it. Most people just care about economics issues. for the most part. Yeah. And you can't blame them.

I do, I kind of see that even with like, comedy, the way that I've always kind of thought of is like, yeah, obviously I have a like perspective and things that I think.

And if I'm, and I'm pretty arguing. And if I'm around people, like I'm aggressive with my opinions, maybe. But at the end of the day, I don't like almost care, which is I feel like that.

And it's not like you don't care. You care about being right, but you don't like, but I can also see the other side of that where people go, well, there's people dying. And you go,

Well, yeah, but every issue has their version of that, I guess. One of the reasons I'm an anarchist is those issues you feel passionate about, you have no power to change it. Like, none. Like, you could flick a switch once every other year, but you're still not determining that election. So it is correct that someone can be very, very upset about things being done by our government

and other governments abroad and how horrific it is. But the idea that somehow, if you tweet enough, that you're going to stop this is false. Do you vote? No. No. No. My dad loves to vote.

He's from Russia. He loves... He does he vote. He voted four times. He voted for Biden ten times. I was on Gutfeld the day after Charlie Kirk was murdered. Yeah. And, you know, this was not...

Talk about tough crowd, right? And that's a comedy show, and I wanted to kind of test my chops. So the two I had were... Dr. Jill Biden said her professional medical opinion, Charlie's fine. And the other one was she welcomed him to voting Democrat for the rest of his life. And the crowd liked that. So it was good to be able to get them to laugh on that day.

That's a real tightrope. Right. For sure. It's a, when I was thinking about that, you're going to give him like a complex. That's the whole goal. Yeah.

This is what America is. That wasn't on purpose? Bullying people. That really wasn't on purpose? I think my natural contrarian instincts have made it worse now. Okay. I think that they're unnatural. We did this podcast with this guy

and he's this Canadian YouTuber and he literally said a boot. Okay, yeah. No, no, but like Ryan's like somewhere in between. This guy would, and I was like, this is crazy. He would just go, a boot.

I feel like when we hang out with the Philly boys, those guys have like the wildest accents. But the thing with the Canadian accent, it's just certain words. Yeah. So it's not an accent. So it sticks out. Yeah.

Out. Yeah, it's weird. Like everything else is the same. This is just bullying them. like it's like someone playing the piano they keep hitting the wrong key every like five minutes. It was like, it was like a dissonance. Yeah,

yeah, yeah. It's like, I thought we were the same. It's like, it's like some kind of invasion of body snatches how you know someone's an alien. They can't pronounce that one word correctly. You almost had me, Ryan Long.

Oh, well, to me, the, if you think about about, that was correct. That was correct. Yeah, like,

okay, so with anarchy. Yeah. If you think about, where I maybe, I don't know if disagree is the right word, but like, you know, I see... Don't consider disagree and consider it being incorrect. Yeah. Where I'm incorrect and have yet to be educated properly, you see that you go, okay, so everything like, you know, culture, there's...

I had a theory that I kind of said it this way that I go, everything's just baggy jeans back to tight jeans. Sure. You know what I mean? And you can see, you know, people go, most, a lot of big. businesses are kind of like decentralized, then centralized packaging, unpacking, right? Absolutely. So maybe, like to me, whenever things get so decentralized, that's, like, they're generally, but they're generally not too decentralized.

So it's kind of like you're mostly right to decentralize, but then whether you're right or wrong, the natural human instinct is just to start centralizing again. You're absolutely right. And I think that's a great, first of all, I think you touched on something that's really, really smart and most people can't wrap their heads around it. because people have this idea that things either used to be really bad now they got much better or things used to be really bad and they got worse and they cannot wrap their hands or how things used to be in cycles like at certain points like gay rights was a thing in the 20s like people could be openly gay in New York

but the myth is nope that's why his family came here what son one day you will pee blood and that's when you know you're a man and the 30s hit we're going back to Russia thanks dad thank you But blogging is another one, right? You used to have blogger or blog spot, and everyone would have their own little page. Then you had Facebook, which is basically micro-blogging.

Everyone's in the same space. Then it's spread out again. So you see these kinds of things on the Internet all the time. So I agree with you completely. Things are cyclical or it doesn't go in one direction. And if it goes to one direction is to stick there. But then wouldn't the kind of like anarchy thing be just like, well, it's always, you're 100% of the time,

it's too far to the one. way. Well, no, it's just saying that force is a very poor mechanism for organizing anything and that voluntary structures are always stronger and more moral and more efficient and more productive, but they certainly can, like, mace. Slower. Or slower. Yeah. A bureaucracy is not a government, but it's certainly inefficient, but it has efficiencies. Yeah. Like McDonald's, the fact that, the fact that you can go to California or to Tokyo and have the same McDonald's. Same with Starbucks. It's kind of amazing. I mean, yeah, Starbucks is crazy.

You order any Starbucks in the world, it's the same type of coffee. In terms of distribution, production, pricing, it's crazy. So that's a major, major accomplishment. At the same time, there's a cost. You know what I mean? So it's Thomas Sol.

People say anarchism is utopian. It's not at all because there's still going to be problems. Thomas Soul said there's no solutions-only trade-offs. Yeah. So there's huge benefits to centralization. If I'm Starbucks, my customers know what I'm getting anywhere in the world. That is a huge advantage.

But there's a cost, right? maintaining that brand is not going to be easy. Having a big bureaucracy to manage is going to be unwieldy. At the same time when you're like a regular guy, it's hard to compete with Starbucks because everyone knows Starbucks, people aren't going to know my company.

So there's plus and minus. So I guess then there's also that decentralization always becomes like the release valve. Like even if you think about it back to the like fighting with the internet stuff where you go, there was all these sort of like,

you know, kind of groups that sort of set up. And then after that sort of sat there for a little bit, it was like, okay, now we're breaking, everything down and then forming new groups and that kind of keeps happening.

That's like QAnon. There's just like a bunch of new Q&ons. Is that right? Well, it feels like it on the internet. There's, you know, like flat earthers. There's all these people. Like the Netanyahu when he died. Remember that when everybody's like Netanyahu's dead?

There's still people who are for the remainder of their time on Earth are like he's dead and he's been replaced. And you'll never convince them otherwise. Whenever I hear something like that, I never say it's crazy. I say what would need to be true for that to be true, right? Yeah. So let's suppose Netanyahu died and he's been replaced. replaced with someone, what would be the utility of that and what would change?

Yeah. Like if Netanyahu died and there's some puppet ruling Israel right now, okay, now what? Again, it's not, uh, there's some element. Well, I guess it would be like if they're willing to lie to you about that, like, but they are willing to lie about that. Yeah, right. So we know they're willing to lie. So, okay.

There's some element, I think of like fantasy where people wish it to be. Sure. So they kind of can't. I had a friend, uh, tell me they were QAnon. And they told me that everyone in Congress had been arrested and facing secret tribunals. And all of them? All of them? 435.

And I didn't say, okay, you're crazy. What I said is, how is it possible that 435 Congresspeople and their spouses and their chiefs of staff? No one leaked? No one talked to the press that this person got arrested or I got arrested or I'm worried I got arrested. That to me is less believable than they all got arrested. Yeah, yeah. So a lot of times with these kind of stories, I don't say on its face, it's crazy. I'm like, what would need to be true for this to be true?

Rogan was the one who told him about the moon landing because he broke it down. Then he goes, the reason I believe it is the Russians would have ruined it for us. They would have clowned us so hard if it had been fake, and he's right. Yeah. And I mean, they just did the Artemis too. You know, think about all the people who are like, space is fake, the moon landing's fake. And then they go, here, okay, we did it again. Right.

And people are like, no. No, no. They just have to go, no. Okay. They go, that was fake too. Okay, right. Everything's fake. Everything's fake.

Yeah. No, if you're looking at like movies whenever, like my problem with it, I'll always say I go that it's unrealistic. But it's like not what I mean that it's unrealistic because people go, movies don't have to be realistic. And you're just like, no. Incoherent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Incoherent is really what you're saying. You go, no, that person that you told me how they are and you gave me all this information about that,

they wouldn't have done this. Like, and then they wouldn't have done, and there was too many of those. On the last episode of the boys. Here we go. I was just talking about this on the way of the studio. Spoiler, everyone home. Homelander kills the president

in the whole office. And a few minutes later, like the vice president is now the president, but there's no reaction to this. Yeah. And like, oh, whoa, whoa. President murdered in Oval Office, is it news?

Yeah, it's not news like in LeMond? It's not so much times you go, this would be news. I mean, this is the one, president murdered in the Oval Office. It's not. There's no reaction. Like really?

Nothing? Yeah. You take over everything. Yeah. They might have shot that scene. Send that to Jake Tapper. Just be like, love to have you on though again. Like, so.

Jake, I know you're on the fence about coming on the show. We do talk about the boys. No, don't even say that. Just be like, we're talking about the finale if you're interested. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it.

I'm good at this. This is something I'm good at. Go on, what's the app where celebrities leave little messages for you? Camio? Go on cameo. Get some rando boys character who's been in 50 bucks. Have them record a message to Jake inviting him on this show. And he'll come on.

Get him into a cameo. Jake, we'd love to have him on. He doesn't respond to my text messages anymore. Hey, but if he gets the cameo. This guy's going to be here. Yeah. Yeah. Get A-Train.

No one's spending money for A-Train. Can you look up boys' cameos, who's the cheapest one? It might be the girl. No, she's going to be a lot of money. What's talking about? She's Asian. An Asian chick cameo, that's going to be $500. And hear me out, we don't have to get.

That might, I'm sure Anthony stars like a thousand dollars. Sure. You could search, can you search boys? Jesse T. Usher, is that A-Train? Is that the black guy? There's two black guys here. There's Mother's Milk and then there's A-Train. Shaft?

Shaf, is that right? Is the character named Shaft? I mean, listen, no money. Oh, he's been in shaft. No amount of money would not be worth it. For 225. This will be such a funny thing. It is crazy, though. You're like an actor on like some huge show and you're still out here doing

cameos for 200 bucks. A train, yeah, A-Train. Yeah, 225. That's not bad. Yeah, that's not bad. I'm bad for him. What's doing? I mean, what are you up to with your time?

Yeah, Jake Tapper will be rethinking some things if he winds up in your chair. That's for sure. Well, I'm filling with farts. You should. He just sits down. He's got his shirt on. He's coming right straight from whatever in the situation room. I think this will be.

really funny. I've tried. I've invited them a couple times. But now you have the clips and the cameo and do it publicly. Yeah. Yeah. We say we went back to our roots and you know obviously we got off topic for a little bit. So I talked a little bit too much politics but it's kind of politics. You can just point this boys, boys

right there, points of that. Yeah. Yeah. That was actually from the cinema that they had the original show at. Oh, is that right? No, but we'll tell Jake Tapper that. Yes. But that is what we'll tell Trey Tava. What do you just said? What the fuck's the cinema? Well, that's Canadian too?

Yes. Sometimes I'll say certain things. No, no, no. First of all, we don't say cinema. I'm being fancy. Okay. Gancy means Canadian, which means gay. Feminine, we said.

It is a bit of a girl country. You're less gay. Let me hear your opinion on the roast. I didn't watch it. Oh, you probably seen the discussion around it. You probably watch something and have an opinion? Well, I'll tell you my. It's the internet.

I'll tell you a point. I'm kind of salted that I don't get to do it. Because it's, you'd be great on that. Yes. But there is like an overall thing that it's not just about the roses, about everything. But it was interesting because like, so Joe Budden, and I don't know if you do, like, you don't maybe follow the rap podcast like I do, but Kevin Hart had to go on like an apology tour basically, right? For what?

For Tony Hinchcliffe's joke. It was a bit of a struggle session for him. Struggle session, which, by the way, he wasn't. What joke? Joe, just in general. What was the joke? You really don't know of his stuff? Tony Hitchcliffe said that George Floyd, if he was, he'd be looking up, looking up at us.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, there was, like, there was some people. People got butt heard about that? Oh, yeah, the blacks. Come on. Are you fucking with me? No, I'm not fucking with you because I would think at this point if you're butt heard about George Floyd, there's enough of, we've passed that people will be like, yeah, whatever.

His family did a press conference. Well, here's the thing. No, you're joking. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. They're not, uh, they're not. Well, the thing is, they don't get the context of a roast, right? They don't get the, the point is to say the most awful stuff.

I mean, George is roasting right now. So they kind of get the point of that. You're going to have your own struggle session. Holy shit. But it's also, I hope when they, I hope they paid for those. bikes with the cashier's check, you know what I mean? You would think people who watch deaf comedy jam would understand. The dozens

is a thing in black culture. Yeah. Your mama jokes. This is not. They do know the point of it. Yeah, yeah. There's no way they don't. They go, this is too far. Well, no, no, no. By the way, they have gotten extreme. Yeah. I do get the idea of someone that's not into this being like, what? Well, no, because it's not that crazy,

but it doesn't make them right. I mean, it was like two hours and 45 minutes into the thing. Here's the thing. Oh, for sure. Good point. Is the point of the joke to be mean? Is the point of the joke to laugh, right? A lot of times it's just mean it's not funny. It's tough, right? The balance is tough. But I think he's also their kind of patron saint.

And if you're kind of hurting the brand, that's going to fuck the family. This is their chance to get on camera. No, I think, yeah. What bullshit? Yeah, I think it was in a porno. Tony had a joke about that too. Yeah, yeah. Was it in this roast?

No, I mentioned the porno. No, Tony had, has this been his act where he's like, oh, you know, I know guys saw this George Floyd porno and I also was close to finishing. He also allegedly. You're stepping on a punchline? On Tony's punchline? Oh, what's he has, Tony had this joke about, I was jerking off to the George Freud porno,

and I was this close to finishing until I realized it was the George Floyd tape. Like, that was his, I fucked up the joke, but that was one of his jokes. Oh. I was just going to say he also robbed a woman and put a gun to her belly, yeah. Although apparently that's not true. Are you sure? Well, Stephen Jackson, you know him, former NBA player? I believe he was either a friend of his or a cousin.

Now, this could be a completely lie, but he went on a podcast and basically said that George Floyd was it was his friend who did it and then his friend was like hey I have all these I have a rap sheet so I'm gonna go to jail for a long time so can you be a pal

and just take one for the team okay so he's colluding with a criminal to escape jail I mean also I don't believe that either but that's also perjury and also a felony of course well I mean he was charged with a felony but I'm saying is like if you are lying to keep your friend

who robbed the woman at gunpoint out of jail, you should be in jail. Yeah, well, and you're taking, but he's like he took the charge because his charges would have been, his prison term would have been lesser. Which is insane. It's still different level, one's worse.

Like, normally you hear about this stuff and someone's like, yay, you know, you get a million dollars. Sure, sure. This was not that. This was just being a good friend. But it didn't, okay, I really want to be clear here. It'll be one thing if it's like,

you know, there's a three strikes in you're out. Yeah. Right? Like, let's suppose Ryan, you have two felonies. You get a, You steal a candy bar. You come to me, you're like, look, the judge is going to give me life for this candy bar. Malice, can you take the rap?

Sure, I take a rap for a candy bar because what you did wasn't that bad. Me keeping you out of jail because you robbed a woman at gunpoint. A pregnant woman. A pregnant woman is not the same thing. It's not like I'm being a bro. Well, you don't know the street code. That's true. Yeah, yeah.

There's street code elements that were not factoring in. Holy fuck. But that's what Stephen Jackson says. Holy crap. I don't believe it. I don't believe. doesn't, even if I believed him that doesn't absolve him. No, but I also don't believe it.

Well, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, we proved it. Yeah. Now we know who looks like the most. Because if George Floyd could pass in a lineup for his friend, it's them. Yeah. Who, who, can you tell us who? Yeah, what was that one? I think it was any of them.

The one of that porno that I watched. Wait, so they're butt hurt that, about George Floyd being in hell show? Yeah. I mean, it was basically like your stand. thing that you've seen a million times. That's why I'm surprised. You know, it's not. But also the reaction was the standard.

It was like, these people get mad. But like, to me, the interesting thing that I've seen, well, I could be speaking about like whatever activist, really more than. So if you think about the, it was kind of like the standard people get mad. And we've sort of talked about this little last week, but the interesting thing this week was Kevin Hart was kind of getting in trouble. Like all the black people, it really became a point where it was like all the white people,

it kind of reminds me of like when people were trashing white men and then white men stopped caring so they had to trash white women because they would it was almost felt like a little bit it was at this weird point where it was you're like oh well we can't we don't really have jurisdiction over getting mad

at the edgy comedy people and if anything it doesn't matter and nothing's gonna happen to them so we just have to get mad at the black people police our own and it was a bad situation where it was like every black comedian had to go on and sort of like answer for it everybody was calling them boons Yeah, it's just like a weird place

It's gotten to Yeah, like I guess like Kevin Hart They were calling Kevin like a lot of I've seen like the Kevin Hart They're basically saying how could you Stand by and allow this Like you just sat on the stage You didn't do anything about it

You didn't like smoke some crack Yeah you didn't pull a Will Smith Like you just did nothing You just kind of just sat there And you were laughing Like how dare you I didn't not know any of this I am surprised

Yeah Because I'm gonna correct slightly, this, that's not an edgy joke. That's like an open mic, like it's like a gimmee. It's so not a big deal. Sort of. If I was doing all black show and I was going to tell a joke, I wouldn't be like

surprised that that was the one that people didn't like. I mean, I think he probably, Tony probably knew like, yeah, this one's going to get some talking, people talking. Sure, but I mean. And the venue, I think, is, obviously, if this was at an open mic. What was it? What was the nature of his apology? Kevin Hart.

Well, Kevin Hart sort of isn't apologizing. Yeah, he's not. But he's being brought on to, like, you know... Defend yourself? Charlemagne and, yeah, like, explain why this is okay. You know what I think's going on? They're getting taken through the ringer, and it's kind of like...

I feel bad for them. Yeah, Kevin Hart's defending comedy. You know what, I think is really happening? Because a lot of times what the thing is, it's not really the thing. Yeah. Like, what's going on here? Exactly.

I don't know if you guys know this. In 2020, after Joe Biden and Kamala Harris quote unquote won the election, publicly, this was public. They wouldn't even take BLM's calls. like the BL11 founders publicly said we try to get a meeting they're not calling us back

they couldn't even get Kamala to just sit down photo op nothing nothing they're like you got used bitch you got used yeah so I think the fact that now the Democratic Party is not talking about black issues at all I have not seen them talk about it once Trump's gone ham

against diI and a friend of action and in college and all this stuff they're salty about it yeah to your point we take it out on people in our community. Right. Yeah. Or somebody.

Right. That's what I think's happening here. Yeah. Because black people in comedy go hand in hand and have for decades. This is not this isn't like WASP, Connecticut culture like, oh, like they were foundational to American comedy. Of course. That community understands

comedy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like 100%, but it is, you feel bad for a guy that's it's hard to like explain exactly what I'm saying, but you're like, imagine you have like you say something crazy about Persians and you're like what's the worst thing

or like imagine I said something crazy about Muslims like what's the worst thing that could happen to me it's like I don't know you're mad at me me. That is not the worst thing that could happen to you. What can happen to me here? Like you're in reality in New York. What's gonna fucking happen to me? Where they get fly plane into me? All right Ryan do it. Yeah do it do it do it do it do it

do it talk about Muslims. Talk about Aisha do the dude do it do the real one yeah yeah don't go don't pussyfoot around you're saying the Muslim N-word is drawing Muhammad. Yeah. Or something. Or talk about Aisha's a big one. Isha, yeah.

What about her? She was like eight, wasn't she? I think she was nine. Oh, that's his, his, his wife. His wife. I don't know what that word to mean. It's like the mystery. No, it wasn't the side check.

It was the main. Yeah. It was the main, yeah. It was the main, yeah. But then I guess they're saying, she's like, she was like, figuratively nine. Is that what they say? I don't know.

BBC just ran a big story on like the guys that have to sell their daughters into slavery. Oh, God. Dude, and they were kind of like, this is how hard it is to be like the guy. It's very un-BBC of them. No, you're joking. No, the BBC thing was because the point that they're making is like this is the conditions that America has created sort of, you know, that was the broader narrative. But like, wait, America is the fault for this?

Yeah, yeah, the West. I mean, whatever. But like the article was not, you know, like this is how bad this society is for women really. It was kind of like, these are the tough decisions dads have to make there because of the situation there. It's like Sophie's choice every day. Yeah, and they interviewed the guy and he was just like, what are you going to do? I'll tell. I knew someone.

Interview her, but she's not allowed to talk. I knew someone who talked to someone whose job is to go to, it was Iraq at the time. And he had like, not literally a bag of gold, but like he would go to these families that the American military killed by accident, like their kids. Yeah. And they were paid off. and they were different rates for the boys and the girls. Oh yeah.

And the boys were paid at a far higher rate than the girls. That's logical though. It's logical, but I'm just interesting that it's from pure labor perspective. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's, uh, and what?

They're just like, hey, no, uh. What are they gonna do? We killed their kids. You think they're safe? But, but you, right, but you just give them money. Yeah. No hard feelings. You know what they said?

Sorry, boot it. I'm gonna fucking be, I'm gonna be listening to everything being like, I, do it. Yeah. God damn it. I'll tell you, there was a comment last week where Danny was on me about this. And the comment said, uh, Danny said Ryan said a boot and I went out to listen.

I couldn't hear it. Probably fucking guy from Sudbury. He goes, I don't hear it. Fucking don't hear it. I don't know what you're talking about. Danny fucking says this guy's dropping a boot. I don't even fucking hear nothing. So Danny needs to get his fucking ears check there, pal.

Do you know what I learned about? Who are the ones who are arcadians? Do you guys know any arcadians? Acadians? They're like the... They're French, but they're not from Quebec. Well, they're like Louisiana is associated by Acadians, yeah, yeah. They're like a type

of French. Aren't they in Newfoundland? Where are they in? I think they're like in New Brunswick, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know the ones. Have you ever been to New Brunswick? I've never been to New Brunswick? I've never been to Tonson person. Well, he's never been a long time. I've never been further east than... I've been in Brunswick tons of times with that Sydney Moncton. Is it cool? No. Oh, okay.

Crappy. Come see me there. Big show. 2000 seats are really going to need you there, boys. But like, no, no. That's like, Halifax is pretty cool. Moncton's like a cool city,

but they've all got like a Detroit-y vibe maybe. Oh, God, okay. But on like a coast. Yeah, yeah, okay. Like economically decimated. I know exactly what you mean. But like the building is still cool. Yeah.

And cooler than Detroit there. especially because like they've got that way smaller way smaller well they've got that like nautical vibe in those places you know well you know finally the last thing let's talk about one more thing is uh the enhanced games do you know about this okay yeah so peter teal uh was kind of like a big funder behind this they eventually did the enhanced game they were public do you know that well you do you know about this a decent amount right i know about that i know a bit about it but the enhanced games like you could buy stock in it somehow right yeah which is crazy.

So there was original investors, then they went public. Yeah, then they went public. It's down like a lot. But they just had one of them. Yeah, they had the original. The first one in Las Vegas, and there was one world record broken, which kind of goes against the entire premise.

Everything I was reading was saying that these guys were getting smoked. Well, it's all about beating world records. That was the premise is you get some person and you go, we're going to juice them up for six months. The premise is they should just be knocking off world records. left and right. But I saw a bunch of people. See, that I can disagree with. See,

because if you take, like, most of the top runners aren't going to do this. Right. So then if you remove, if you take the NFL and you go, none of those guys, but we're going to take the next batch of guys and put them on steroids. It's not a lot of that they're going to be better. Yeah, it's not enough to bridge exactly right. And a lot of the NFL obviously are all juiced up anyway. Also, we have to juice up more, I guess, you know. Yeah, cycling is, the tour de friends is already the enhanced celebrity. Of course, yeah, that's the thing.

people don't appreciate it. But these guys were losing against their own records is what everyone was saying. Yeah, only one guy. But I guess there's one element because I think they got, I think the minimum you would win is $20,000. And then the maximum, I think it was like $200,000 if you won. I think there might be some element where they just can't get themselves mentally like up enough for something like this versus the Olympics, which is like, you know, you literally are thinking about it for four years. You're training about it. These guys didn't train for four. It's not going to take over their life the same way. Yeah, I don't think it's going to take over their life. I think this is more. like a corporate and also i think a lot of the other these Olympic athletes they know how to do this but they know how to be to test because they've got supervision like the east germans are famous for this so yeah yeah no no they have supervision with all this stuff all i'm saying is like people in the olympics who cheat right that's a that's a big thing also yeah yeah yeah they know ben johnson you know him right yeah of course yeah i just know how to do this do you know do i cheetah what okay so ben johnson we know him probably better because you know those guys are bigger stars and he's from toronto area i didn't know that okay but after

after or was it Ben Johnson? It was Ben Johnson. So after he got caught doping like years later he did a commercial for Cheetah the Energy drink where they probably gave him

a thousand box and he came out and he goes Frank DiAngelo and Frank DeAngelo gave him the money and he goes do you cheetah because I cheetah and held up the energy drink that's how badly

that guy needed money man holy shit He did the campaign for Cheetah the Energy Drink Do you remember when OJ wrote a book called If I did it course. And if was in small font. Well, that was because

the reason if was in the small font was because in his civil suit, the Goldman family won all the, I guess, ink, like residuals from the book. They basically owned the book. Okay. So they changed it. No.

No. They said you can only release it if we picked it. No, no, no. It was going to be released. That's what I read was that the Goldman family changed the cover. That's a vintage Goldman thing to do. Because they won civil suit and they changed the cover and made the if super small no way wait hold on this what i've read goldman's always win hold on hold on the editor of that book judith regan who was like the the head bee in publishing she got fired as a result of publishing this book but as i always tell

people when people who in public get fired it's not the reason that's just an excuse to cover because she was like a loon um but her point was she was getting him to confess, but he couldn't literally confess to murder. So he's like, oh, I'm just imagining this. But I thought that was her. No, this says right here. Please. Thank you. This was done intentionally by the family of Ron Goldman. After Simpson was found liable for the murders in civil court, he was ordered to pay a massive wrongful death judgment. When he filed for bankruptcy, a court awarded the rights and profits of the manuscript to the Goldman family. They took the original manuscript, publish it with this deliberate cover design to turn the book into an undeniable confession. Because

they legally held the publishing rights and the statement reflected, civil courts liability ruling they were able to design the cover as they saw fit that that was a little i didn't know that that's that's also bizarre because very few authors if any get cover control yeah i mean like so if the family goes to juth reg and goes i want to if and small that's nice like it's that's not the publisher i mean i'm not to argue with you speaking as uh murderer uh potential goldman speaking as the real murderer yeah you could rest in peace we found the real Someone who might be sympathetic with a Goldman. This is why you're, I get the joke.

This is why you're, I think the small ifs. It was Nicole's. Yeah, yeah. I think a small if might sell better. Came to Canada for the gay rules. Then they got, you know, and then cycles went down. Yeah. Started peeing blood, killed O.J.

In that order. Yes. But I think it would sell better. Well, to me, that makes it crazy to me, though, because OJ did this where he goes, I'm going to write this book. If I did it, you go, also you're not getting any of the money. from it he goes well then now I'm definitely not doing it right well the book was already they're saying the manuscript was already written but what was in it for him he had a civil

suit he was civil found civilly liable for her death so he had the contract he had the book deal then he lost the money yeah so you think he'd be like well then we're not doing the book it's not up to him at that point it's not his book it's not his book the book's written like if you the book is just like this you build a condo Danny sues you he take hey that's anti-semitic well no you'd be the one building a condo not literally I mean I do the emotional labor so and then he takes to decorate it

because it's now his condo yeah yeah it's just like at that point it's a piece of property right it's like same as if someone owns a movie script or something man that sucks your last ditch effort if I did it and then they take the money from that well maybe you shouldn't be murdering people yeah sure but you know easier

said than time in a perfect world okay miss the utopian and who says the guy he won't even take a, you know, a couple years in the slammer for a good friend. Yeah, we're pointing a gun at her pregnant woman's belly for no reason for a porno. Well, you don't respect street codes he did it to me. I'm not a street man. Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Michael Malice and YouTube, it's the YouTube channel is, uh, it's your welcome of the podcast. That's right. It's, uh, it's, what's the

channel? Michael Malice official. Yeah. And you have 15,000 books. I do have a lot of books. That's true. It's fun. Anyone's in the pipeline? Uh, yeah, I got a graphic. novel coming out in December called you go to unwanted book.com that's sort of a divergence right or have you done a lot of graphic novels no this is so the story of this graphic novel briefly is uh i it's about i wrote this graphic novel in 2000 yeah mentor you don't why what you i sometimes when i talk to you i think you're on a game show and you have to get the right answer get into the buzzer we have time and i will provide you all the information i didn't actually think it was your man ryan just got a thing in his earpiece that we're going to commercials

I wanted to bring up your mentor again. But he is dreaming to this story. So Harvey... So I was right. I wrote this screenplay, this script about this band from the 80s. The keyboard player from the band did the animation for Harvey's movie American Splendor. It was through him that I met Harvey. So he's very germane to this.

So it's the story of this band who combined punk and country and shot for the moon and went absolutely nowhere, but now I'm finally getting it into graphic novel form following at Harvey's footsteps. So I'm very excited. It's finally going to come true after a generation of it sitting in my desk. There you go. On Wondewbook.com. It's bad ass.

Yeah, I'm excited. Hell yeah. Yeah. All right. Thanks so much for coming on. But they really want us to go to commercial. Can we end on something funny? That was such a fucking like, wawt, want, want.

I felt like Kevin Hart talking to Charlemagne, if your characterization of that conversation is accurate. Pitch us the book. Okay. Are you, Hassan Piker going to be an indicted for... Do you think they're going to put him away now? I don't know enough about it.

He's going to have a fine at most. I agree. Yeah, first off, it's not... What is... Because you, one of you guys want to tell me? Basically, they... In Cuba, they have all these restricted hotels because they're basically run as proxies of the government.

So if you give them money, the money goes to the government. So the state department has all these hotels you're not allowed to go to. He didn't stay at one, by the way. Nick Shirley did, but he did not. But he handed out, he was giving out shit, and I think he was giving out, like, solar panels and stuff. And the way the U.S. sees it is,

you're like, you are literally giving equipment to our enemy. Okay. Right, so it's, but it's realistically it's a fine, and that Neville Roy Singham guy will pay it. Okay. Much fun here. Nailed it. We're really killing it today, boy.

He's nailed it, Dan. Jake Tepra. Peace.