The Boyscast with Ryan Long - MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES & REVENGE OF THE CIS

Episode Date: May 13, 2022

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And you can tell our friends, and they can have my things when we're dead But we don't live forever, but we don't live forever Yeah, it's your favorite boys It's your favorite boys in the morning Friday! Friday, Friday, Friday! You already know what it is It's drive time, boys If you're gonna be in San Diego this weekend, you're going to want to check me up at American Comedy Co.

Just find out what my hotel room is. Come egg it. Play Nicky Nicky Nine Doors. Said like a true American, right? Yeah, true American. And also, I just want to say, this is something that you're having a good day or whatever, right? And then maybe you think something from the past is,

you might remember this deep in your brain, but i'm just going about my day out of nowhere i put my headphones on boom you too full blast i've like i saw you post though yeah i've honest to god cannot believe in 2022 that you two still music. That U2 is still getting force fed onto my iPod. My iPod. Your iPod. How did it get on there? Well, I remember like eight years ago. Do you think maybe your Tulpa did it? Ryan's Tulpa loves U2.

Sunday. I see him fucking walking down the street. I go, he's singing U2. I go, that wasn't me. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what happened. My Tulpa went crazy last night. Big Bono head. I just wake up. There's all these videos of me. Whoa. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what happened. My tulpa went crazy last night. Big Bono head.

I just wake up. There's all these videos of me. Whoa, whoa. The sweetest thing. Just fucking in the subway, just singing. That's so funny. I'm telling everyone. I'm like, can you believe YouTube's on our phone still?

They go, they stopped doing that four years ago. I go, what? Well, that's the thing. I have. Did you confirm that they are doing it? It's in my. How else would it get there? I bought a new phone four months ago.

We cover this very frequently. What do we cover frequently? The tulpas. Maybe you have a tulpa you don't know about. Well, that's what I... Maybe we've read one of your posts, and Ryan's like, who is this joker? Well, actually, in a little bit,

we have a fucking thing that's a new version of a tulpa before we talk about it, and we have Revenge of the Sith coming in the studio a little bit we have a fucking uh a thing that's a new version of a top before we talk about and we have revenge and this is coming in the studio uh a little later on but this is i would say i honestly hate you i'm you know south park made fun of you too and they did a pretty good job with making fun of bono or whatever that helped people hate him or whatever yeah which i think one of the reasons that worked is because people are the biggest piece of shit or whatever yeah exactly and people are already pretty fed up with them because of that. The only thing I can think of comparable where everyone just hated was Lars Aldrich with his fucking.

Yeah. Where everybody's like, this is the sickest thing ever. And he's like, excuse me, my royalties. Yeah. Yeah. Especially when he was like, yeah, exactly. Real rich. My royalties.

It's not fair. That's exactly what I'm rich. My royalties. It's not fair. That's exactly what it was. You guys are taking away my royalties. But you two, you know, fucking, I guess it's Steve Jobs. He's, you know, made a deal with. They got something on somebody that they got this going on. Buddy, this is like an Epstein job. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I honestly couldn't believe it. I thought it was like, remember back in the day when they used to put you two on your phone yeah well they did that the one time where they released the ipod with it they never stopped they've been doing it slowly it's kind of like so but you listen but i thought you have spotify that's it's like the government when you're just like yeah they tax you once a year and you're like yeah and then when you buy stuff yeah it doesn't stop. You do. I think they're everywhere. Not on Spotify, though.

I honestly feel like you're going to be at a club and the DJ is like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This week, he's like, what the fuck was that? You know what, actually? He squeezed it onto his turntables. They get it everywhere. Because I have an iPhone as well. And sometimes, you know, like when you just like, when you do the swipe down and then you can press play,

but it doesn't, it defaults as iTunes, even though it's Spotify spotify so then it just plays like i have 10 albums i bought 15 years ago yeah and it'll just play a song and i go i don't want to listen to any of these like but that's so yeah anyways that's what they're doing they're just sneaking never happened to me and then it happened to me twice so if you're listening at apple then you're you're if you if you keep it up apple i might not uh i might only buy like a two three max a year so yeah someone who listens to the boys guys is gonna bump into ryan at like fucking youtube at city field and ryan's like what the fuck is this what the hell what the hell well i know i know another weird thing that happened is uh like i honestly feel like i was seeing things but i was walking

down the street and in a fire truck a bunch of fire bros you know what i mean like the tattooed up ones kind of thing right guys hacking a dart in the fire truck i think yeah that's is that normal dude i've seen new york the only place i've ever seen this and i've seen this multiple times cops smoking cigars like on duty cops smoking cigars i think i might have seen that too yeah i've seen that like many times it's the top of us but i've seen that a number of times where they're just like fucking leaning up against their car full uniform just smoking a cigar well it's definitely weird to see the guy in the fire truck cracking darts like that and he's like he was like looking at me like what you got a fucking

problem pal were you worried about fires you want to get the's like he was like looking at me like wow you got a fucking problem pal were you worried about fires you want to get the fire hose he's fucking flicking at you yeah yeah so that was thing and then also my i made this twitter video about disinformation and then it got flagged on everywhere as disinformation which is pretty funny so everyone was trying to repost the video and i was getting sent it from everyone. It was like, just so you know, this video is disinformation. And it was a video saying I'm stopping disinformation. Where were you stopping disinformation? I was trying to stop disinformation,

but I wasn't the one that gets to decide what disinformation is. They'll tell you what the fuck's disinformation, pal. Yeah, they will. If I was the disinformation guy, I definitely would be cranking in a few of them. Like anyone who says I don't have a 12 inch or like anything like that. Well, the chick, you know what I mean? Anyone who says that girls aren't hilarious.

Her assistant will be a guy. Yeah. That's where it's going to be. Someone says like girls aren't that funny and it's going to be like, that's disinformation. And then it's just like her at the fucking the Apollo getting like just fire set. Just murdered. Explain that. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That's disinformation. She actually fucking destroyed i did it i was watching i was doing this video about comedy and i was watching like old comedy specials and one of the ones is uh when dave chappelle i think it was is playing the comedian and the nutty professor doing the women be jumping i don't dread dreadlocks, but shitlocks. He goes, women be shopping. Women be shopping.

That was amazing. I changed it to, women be getting harassed. Women be getting harassed. Oh, that's funny. So Twitter, basically, the FDA basically posted this thing saying- Fat Dick Association? The fucking nice dick association. But fucking nice is one word.

Yeah, yeah. Bad ass. It's like how they are in Scandinavia or Sweden or whatever. Bad ass. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice.

They basically posted being like Johnson & Johnson and johnson they like retracted it saying it was something to do with blood clots or whatever and then it was like from the fda and then twitter fact checked it so it had the disinformation guideline going this is not true the vaccine safe and it's like it was from johnson and johnson johnson and johnson i saw their explanation they came out they go oh that was like a we changed that they go they're like and then we changed it you're like but you did release it exactly like yes but we changed it but how funny is that them fact checking like the the the main guys you see trump trump brought the same thing happened to them has happened to me i was trying to stop disinformation you see trump out of one of his rallies brought the fucking

johnson johnson ceo on i was and he goes he goes this guy has so much money he's got tons of money he's rich as shit and everybody's like yeah we gotta ask fucking trump revenge this is what they think about their boy doing that big miss trump oh my god that's what it reminded me of a comedian that you know goes on stage and then you you have this one actually someone i was talking about on twitter and then someone said a better analogy than the one i originally had which was trump going on stage and then doing his vaccine stuff and then getting all the johnson johnson guys is a comedian that like has a joke he knows should work but it's not working and won't let it go you know what i mean you're just like i'm i know this is funny yeah like why can't i make

audiences laugh at that you're at the fucking The Hard Times tent. Remember where they're like, hey, you want to do a different show? And you go, no, I don't want to do a different show. I want to do this show. And then you get there and it's all just like trans people. No, because what's her name? Ray Butcher. I know, but the audience was all like trans people.

And you're like, well, I'm doing my act. Yeah, so that was on me. No, because I was there doing stuff with The Hard Times. We made all these videos for PDR and stuff. people and you're like yeah you're like well i'm doing my act yeah so that was on me no because i i was there doing stuff with the hard times we made all these like videos for yeah i know i know i'm telling them but basically they had a stand-up show and one of the stand-up shows was like ray butcher who's like she's trans now right and then so basically like peak like 2016 like is you know right when it's when things are real fired up. And then Matt was like, hey, we're doing this one show for this girl,

and she's this super feminist. We were going to switch you to the other show because you may not be the perfect fit for her crowd. And I was like, what? You don't think I can fucking do her crowd, blah, blah? And I was like, I can fucking do any crowd, pal, blah, blah. And I didn't even know who she was at the time or whatever. And I was like, yeah, I think I'll be fine doing her crowd. I do fucking comedy any crowd, pal. Blah, blah. And I didn't even know who she was at the time or whatever. And I was like, yeah, I think I'll be fine doing her crowd. Like I do fucking comedy seven nights a week.

And then I went up. I was not fine for her crowd. It wasn't like super awkward, but it wasn't like the worst thing ever. But it was one of those things where- It was not your crowd. You go on stage and you're just like, not only are they there to see their favorite comedian in the world, I mean, it'd be someone who came to see me.

And didn't you have, you did the joke with the brother or whatever, like the gay people? Get my brothers going to hell. No, like any gay people? Every gay people in the audience. No, no, but you're- Everyone goes, woo, yeah! And I go, so at least I guess I'm the only one going to heaven. I was doing all my- There was a few people in the audience and everyone goes woo yeah and I go so at least I guess I'm the only one going to heaven I was doing all my

there was a few people in the back that liked it but I did get a few playing for the back of the room I did get a few people coming out to me being like yo comedy's hard I don't know how you do it and I was like fuck you I was like I usually do pretty good yeah you go I'm transitioning right now from a male to a female back to a male and honestly comedy seems like

way harder than that. Yeah, they didn't like this stuff but they're just like, I respect what you do up there, dude. It's like, that takes some balls,

huh? Yeah, that takes guts what you do up there. It's the worst comment to get. I know. Yeah, that was one of my lessons

where I was like, really just eating it with that grin on your face, huh? No, it really sucked and I was with all my friends who hadn't probably seen me do comedy that much who I was like... Really just eating it with that grin on your face, huh? No, it really sucked. And I was with all my friends who hadn't probably seen me do comedy that much

who I was there with all weekend and stuff like that. So that sucked. I learned a lesson about having an ego. Oh, what? You think I can't do comedy in front of... I didn't... I probably didn't realize how crazy things had gotten at that moment.

I'm like, it's people's people. Yeah, that was like in San Francisco, right? Yeah. And then you go, people's's people and then you show up you go every single person's got like a clown hairdo like fucking every person side buzz like yeah yeah a life dedicated to de-stigmatizing things you know what i mean yeah so that didn't work out very good but that that's true that's trump doing his j and j stuff and you are right it was really funny the fact that uh when he was doing it he introduced them he's like because it's one of those things where imagine it was a bad intro too right terrible why do you think they would care about

that because yeah right so you know if you go on stage there's things people would say that would make you hate you like right there if they if they went uh to the ray butcher crowd and then they i me on stage, they're like, this guy's got a podcast just for dudes. You know they would hate that, right? But the money thing, too. That's actually what I was talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The money thing. Dude, imagine getting brought up to like, this is the richest corporate CEO you'll ever see.

They're like, he's got so much money, it's fucking ridiculous. And everybody's like, yeah, we know from the vaccine we hate also they're like we're out of work and we live in like it was like in oklahoma or something and they're like yeah the yeah i can't afford eggs why are you bringing this guy on this guy right here he's got money like you wouldn't believe we call him the swamp he yeah he literally is the swamp that they're talking about he's raining basically some guy on patreon uh sent me this pretty funny thing because he lives in canada he said he goes he goes you guys are the absolute goats favorite comedians by a long shot hilarious thing coming out of university of victoria uh we have to do a consent workshop like just for going there

whatever they make them do all this kind of stuff. And he says at the consent workshop, they encourage that you should do a land acknowledgement before asking for the consent. So he's saying in the actual University of Victoria thing. Consent like sexual consent? Sexual consent. It's real fucking boner killer, huh? Do both people do land acknowledgements? You do yours first and go first can I just use yours?

is that cool if I copy? I think if you join hands then you do it like you're praying at a fucking crappy dinner family thing and just do your land acknowledgement isn't that great? so you have to basically go she goes to grab for your dick

you go I want to acknowledge the Iroquois tribe we're on unceded lands all that stuff goes to like grab for your dick you go i want to acknowledge the iroquois tribe and i want to know that we're on unseated lands yeah uh all that stuff and then and then you have to ask for consent and then he goes you want to smash he goes no and you go that's when you get the no after the land because you know there's so many guys who are like guys are just dogs and they'll just no you know i'll do that bullshit like i'll do the like huh if and then they have to do it and then they're not still no that's the thing you go with. I'll do the land acknowledgement. And then they have to do it.

Then nods match? Still no. That's the thing. You go, the girl knows once a land acknowledgement's coming, she knows what comes next. You know what I mean? Once you set that up, once you set the precedent, once you start that land acknowledgement, things are going down.

It's the equivalent of the fucking wah-wah pedal. Oh, damn. Yeah, yeah. Breaking out the land acknowledgement yeah yeah yeah that's amazing yeah she so she's yeah she's sort of you know you're sitting on the bed you turn the tv off and you just sort of you grab her arm and you go i want to recognize the iroquois tribe baby that fucking bomb ass pussy is sitting on unseasoned lands of the iroquois tribes girl girl that nice ass fucking snizze of yours

that I just can't wait to get into. But I just want to acknowledge the fact that I have no right to get into that. Baby, I'm going to rail you on this Métis inhabited land that we have stolen. This is stolen land from the Iroquois tribe, just like I'm about to steal that ain't a virginity, baby, get down.

And we are benefiting from the fruits of that land but my favorite fruit is the cherry that i'm about to pop ladies ladies may i proceed now you go now permission to proceed she goes just let me do my land acknowledgement and then we can do it yeah so that's the girls knowing the land acknowledgement is that you think that's going to make it into fucking Canadian porn? Ooh. Do you think it'll be like Canadian porn? Canadiana.

Canadian porn? You know how there's that genre of porn that's funny porn? Uh-huh. That would be great if there's like funny kind of based Canadian porn. I think Canada is probably a step away from having, you know, like government subsidized porn. You know what I mean? Yeah. So then the guy has to come in with, you know, like government subsidized porn. You know what I mean? Yeah.

So then the guy has to come in with, you know, he's hacking a dart kind of thing. Can-con? Yeah, he's got the beer hat on. It's can-con porn. Exactly. Because they have to pay to make Canadian content. So we did this, you know,

we've been talking about the Tulpa thing, right? So that's the new school version right the old school version was multiple personalities well yeah yeah mental illness but multiple personalities right well there's a lot of things that are mental illness that's you know they've they've found out a way to make it like brave or whatever right like being a democrat oh and that would have killed and fucking smashed that fucking the trump rally That's what he should have done. That's what he should have said, yeah. Yeah, yeah. What he should have done is, like, you know,

he trashed the other guys first. He goes, you know, those crooks over at Pfizer, and everyone goes, whoo, those crooks over at, what's the other one? Moderna. The crooks over at Moderna. Those people are crooks stealing your money. That's why I brought the Johnson & Johnson guy,

the only non-crook yeah and he's probably like well they make lots of other stuff you like what you guys don't like baby formula he goes these motherfuckers are trying to make you get two vaccines two vaccines sometimes three vaccines but you know who only wants you to get one vaccine which turns out to be the one that's like you shouldn't take it's like it's all coming out now too we go oh yeah the one vaccine one that's actually the worst one right yeah you're gonna want to avoid that so this was on quora someone was saying what's it like so this this is the old school multiple personalities right yeah and it's real real good stuff over here so it's a lot of people responding or whatever but the main upvoted one or whatever

right because you know they ask questions yeah okay so basically someone was dealing with this himself right and they said what was it like to have an altar so they call their multiple personality an altar um who dated another person even though the host already had a romantic relationship so basically what's it like for what we've been saying with the tulpa what's it like if your fucking altar inside of you starts to wander a little bit right and then all these people that are involved in this community and cheating and cheating they all the people they go this uh should be in the uh cheating category it's all the people in the cheating this is uh the this should be in cross post infidelity that's so funny you're jig being

like hey i was looking i was on your computer and why do you have bookmarked our infidelity? I didn't bookmark it. Yeah, my alter did. My alter. Look, he's got his own profile on Google Chrome. My alter did. So all these people responded, but they're actually, all these people are basically explaining what it's like,

and it is difficult for them. They're having a hard time with this whole thing, right? And they call it multiplicity is what the core thing is right oh that's oh yeah so i think the tulpa people and the multiplicity people have a different thing because the the tulpa people believe that there is a a person living inside of them yeah the multiplicity people think that one person takes it over then the other person takes it over yeah yeah okay so they disappear into another realm yeah they're like they black out almost yeah exactly whereas the tulpa people are that we're coexisting they have the coexist bumper sticker with two of the things are just

them you know what i mean right right so basically this is what their experience is what they said i'm actually going through this right now funny that you mention it and then he goes our mate by with our main protector vitani vit. Vitani. So that's why one of my main things that I liked about it is she's got a good name for her second personality, right? Well, that's Vitani's name.

She didn't make that up. Well, she didn't make it up, I know. And she also says her protector, right? So basically, kind of the idea is... Yeah, protects her

from getting in trouble for cheating. Quite the protector. Yeah. The also thing, I guess what the kind of scenario is, is she has this Vitani person, you know,

that's like in the nether realm or whatever. But if you bump her or something like this, she's like, I wouldn't do that. You know what I mean? Just buddy,

I'd take it easy on that. It's a Hulk scenario. It's a Hulk scenario. And then you go, and you go, the Tanny's getting angry. But Tanny's getting upset. Yeah. But Tanny's getting upset. He doesn't like, so the Tanny sort of takes over when she's, when she's wronged or whatever.

Right. Yeah. So if you don't do the, your land acknowledgement or something like that, the Tanny takes over smashing. Yeah. But she goes, so I Shelby, i'm in a long-term relationship with my fiance we've been together for nearly six years with no end in sight however vitani has gotten really bored with me being in a stable relationship i guess we all got a little vitani inside of us the way she phrases it with no end in sight. Sounds like you're a little bored with that too.

Yeah, it's not usually pumped about being in a relationship to go with no end in sight. No end in sight's aggressive, right? Well, Vitani sort of took over for that one part of the sentence. Oh, yeah, yeah. But that is, yeah, so she's like, baby, I love you. You think I'm very happy. You couldn't be happier. Vitani!

Vitani, that's my i think but that you know i mean every one of us has a little bit of her we have a little bit of our own but tony inside of us i'm a little bit but tony yeah i'm a little bit piece of shit i'm a little bit shelby i'm a little bit tony so she's a little bit shelby and she's a little bit Shelby and she's a little bit Vitani I'm a little bit Vitani so she's having this and Vitani wants to bone baby Vitani wants to bone

but she's a girl I wish this was a guy because it's fun to do guy voices but again no guy can pull this off it's just the you know a guy a dude having the absolute absurdity to be like, you think I'd love to just be just with you, but George, however...

Yeah, George likes to smash. He likes to wet the whistle. He's no stopping George when he's on one, you know? But Roberto's got a bit of a tongue for wandering. A bit of a strange fiend. Tommy. But Tommy boy inside me. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that was Tommy boy who shit on the floor. I'm a traditional man. I would never do anything to hurt you. But Tommy boy just fucked your sister. But I will tell you, Tommy boy just fucked your sister but I will tell you Tommy just banged your sister so he said especially since she told my partner that it was always her

who he slept with for years and not actually me so he's banging her and then he goes you've been banging Vitani the whole time which is interesting now that he knows he has no interest in sleeping with her and she's got nancy that is such a guy thing too because she probably kept like he knew she was shelby but then she kept being like i'm vitani and he's just like

yeah i don't just i just want to smash he basically he just he heard it yeah yeah yeah just but well unfortunately though that's what this guy said she goes she's She goes, we've been having sex all this time. Sometimes I switch to my other personality. But then one time during sex, she goes, I have a confession. I'm not Shelby. You've been banging Vitani this whole time. Oh, Vitani was pretending. Vitani was saying, I'm Shelby.

And then Vitani broke the news. He said, listen, you've been banging Vitani this whole time, right? And then the boyfriend said, what the fuck? So the boyfriend's like, no, no, no, no. no i'm in love with shelby she goes you fuck it that's like next level psychotic girlfriend goes you know you've been fucking cheating on me i haven't you banged vitani you banged vitani he told me for starters you banged vitani i can't believe what you made her do me and you haven't had sex in two years he goes what you bone all the time it's like you fucking spend all your time with vitani you got nothing for me so he basically goes what my guess would be like this multiple personality thing's obviously

getting out of hand and he's like okay i'm like i'm not gonna have sex if until you get this whole thing figured out because she goes hey you gotta stop you're fucking just so you know you've been having sex with my multiple personality and he goes okay well tell me i guess let me know when it's just you and then we'll have sex when it's you and then he goes he goes vitani's not gonna like that so that's what he says is that uh the partner's only been boning vitani and vitani who's a girl that was getting all this dick and now she's unhappy, by the way, maybe should have kept her fucking mouth shut, right? Vittani had a good thing going. Vittani's making problems.

Right? If you're a guy that you transform into any body and then you have this thing where you could transform into any guy's body and then bone the girl, would you ever tell any of the girls? Yeah, you keep that to yourself, right? Keep that to yourself. Yeah, you go, all I have to do is go snap my fingers transfer into any dude's body and then bang his wife yeah it's like would you yeah 100 so vitani should have kept her stupid mouth shut she goes so for over a little over a year vitani has expressed her desire to be able to see someone on her own my partner is fine with her talking to other people and sending pics as long as she saves everything but he set the limitation at sex

and it seems like vitani is respecting those boundaries so that is quite a good one right so basically at this point the boyfriend said you're allowed to sex with if vitani wants to sex with other guys but she doesn't want vitani to be boning the other guys yeah which is fair yeah so this is where yeah i guess i guess when you really realize like oh i'm in a long-term relationship with someone who i didn't know is like completely batched in the same and so she's sending all these nudes to other people but it's not her it's vitani but this is where it gets weird but this is where it gets weird vitani appeared to be talking to quite a few different guys at once tony's a bit of a hoe this part she goes but i tried to stay out of it because it was vitani's

business she doesn't want to get involved with vitani's a bit of a slut right yeah and then she goes vitani's been sending you know she wakes up vitani sending nudes of their body to everyone but that's you know what happens with she's not trying to slut shame vitani you know what i mean it's like if you have like a siamese twin or whatever and one of them has a date and then you're yeah yeah yeah dragged along vitani is basically for the streets is kind of what they're saying right then i started getting texts during the day from a guy who used to be decent friends with but i ultimately blocked on everything because he was too weird for me turns out vitani has taken a liking to him and is forcing me to interact with him regularly fucking nerve to say

that he was too weird for her as as you're writing this you go that guy weird weird guy had to block him this fucking yeah so anyways my alter ego uh has been unblocking this dude and talking to him now he wants to talk to me but this guy's a weirdo so she now she's stuck in conversations with this friggin weirdo right uh that is it all it's basically uh uh you kind of you wake up and then you go vitani's been sending nudes to the plumber again you know what i mean and you wake up and you go you know there's the fucking garbage man smoking a cigarette besides you and you go what the hell you go what she goes free garbage uh service for the next year. He goes, it is free. Yeah, basically.

So every time she comes to, she's with a, you know, texting a different guy. She's paying, you know, texting her son's kids, teachers, all this sort of thing, right? Every guy, she calls the guy to, you know, fight with her AT&T bill, blacks out. You know, then she's banging that guy. She's on a date with that guy.

So Vittani's for the streets, right? And she goes, I've had tons of conversations with Vittani about setting these boundaries with this guy, but I don't get how, if it's a split personality, how her and Vittani get to talk. Does she leave notes for her?

I think, I don't know. That's a good question. I almost envision it like, almost like a movie where they're like in a room together, but they're just in her brain, like sitting across from each other. That's what I think. I almost envision it like almost like a movie where they're like in a room together, but they're just in her brain like sitting. That's what I think. But that sounds like more like the Tulpa thing.

Yeah, there's some holes in this stuff. Yeah, right. But she I think they might have to do leave notes to each other like in Groundhog Day sort of Memento style where she fucking writes it on her chest. I think that's what she has to do. Yeah. She wakes up and she has to go. And she goes to a Tony.

Hey, take it easy with all the dicks sort of thing. Hey, Vitani, can we just, can we lay off? Is it fine if we just take it a bit easy? You're banging everybody. Hide your kids,

hide your wife. Vitani's banging everybody. But sometimes he doesn't understand, but he doesn't understand now. And he's actually really respectful. I've had to have conversations with the Tani, especially since the guy didn't quite understand in the beginning that it was the Tani and I are different people.

So basically the guy, she's like, Hey, I don't know how to tell you this, but that wasn't me. You send me this message. It was like, Oh,

someone's fucking with you. Yeah. The Tani. Who's that? It's my ultimate personality. I'm just glad to smash. Yeah. Just happy to smash.

Just doing my thing as long as we do the land acknowledgements first so that's a tough convo to go to the guy that you've been sending nudes to and be like hey

we gotta stop sending nudes I never meant to in the first place yeah and you'll be like yeah it's all good anyways just I'll talk to Vitani later yeah imagine

yeah cause it's you but again you're like it's like I'm me but then you're like you might be hearing from Vitani and you go okay cool

later yeah cause you're right she goes just so you know that wasn't sending me him the n, it's like, I'm me. But then you're like, you might be hearing from Vitani. And you go, okay, cool. Later. Yeah, because you're right. She goes, just so you know, that wasn't sending me the nudes. It was like, who was it? My multiple personality. She's still interested in sending her nudes, but like, I'm not that interested. And he's also like, I like your multiple personality.

I don't like you. Yeah, I like the multiple personality better. Yeah. So he's like, hey, this is a conversation between me and Vitani. I don't even know why you're bringing this up. You think's like why do you mind your fucking business lady yeah this is none of your business you have a boyfriend yeah hey why don't we just part separate ways but he does understand now and he's being respectful so yeah you go okay all right imagine he's like hey quick question um do you have an iud just because vitani said she does yeah yeah yeah exactly vitani saying if you do vitani's very vitani's pro uh choice but you're she's pro-life i just need to know that'd be bad

you have to spit yeah she doesn't want to get an abortion, so she has to take nine months to try not to transition. He seems like a different person around her, so he's nicer around Vittani. From the messages I've seen and read, he seems so sweet to her. He doesn't know the difference. He's really sweet when he's talking to her multiple personalities. Yeah, because she's not fucking mean like you.

Yeah, because you're a bitch, man. Vittani, you should just let Vittani take over the body. Actually, everyone likes her. She's the belle of the ball. She's the belle of the ball. She's, you know, a hit. You're just this, you know. She's probably struggling to... Grumpy old guy telling your fucking friends

to not even have sex with anyone. And it's weird for me because I can't stand him. But nice to see her get to have that relationship with someone. So she can't stand this guy, but she's happy that Vittani can, you know, even if I hate him. And she can't stand him because he's so weird he's such a weirdo you know him but vitani doesn't seem to discriminate as much as her about people she's weird shames him yep her one personality doesn't weird shame but her other personality weird shames a bit

ultimately it's the kind of it's kind of weird having a part of me who's dating someone i don't like but with good boundaries i think it's more doable plus i'm happy to see vitani feeling happily so yeah you don't want vitani unhappy but hope this helps to answer your question that's what she says so that's even crazier than the tulpa stuff right and then uh they go the main front this one person has just explained just a little bit they go oh i oh, I've also experienced this. I was dating a man with another multiple system. His system's main frontier was married. This was all open, no secrets. The big problem was that she had a very jealous and possessive man.

Someone else in my system started dating someone else from his system. So she's saying, she's calling the body a system. So now she's saying, she's dating calling the two the body a system. So now she's saying her one. She's dating. The two people are dating. And then their multiple personalities started dating each other. Twins date like two. Like you see that we're two identical sets of twins get married.

So this is really off the reservation with these ones. Yeah. I mean, I guess it's they say multiplicity, but it sounds. Yeah, it's disassociative identity disorder. What a fucking nutcase bunch, eh? Yeah. Oh, yeah. So I had a technique that I was thinking about that was kind of in the multiple personality

realms for productivity. So isn't this a good thing? Okay. So I think a lot of people, they always, you know, they're bad at like setting their own productivity boundaries. We're like, hey, I won't take phone calls from this time. I'm not going to work on this. I have to work on this. Like, I can't respond to this kind of thing.

Right. But if you think of your brain, like you're imagine you had a company and your brain was your employee. So imagine you told you wanted. Imagine you go, I'm an employee and I go, hey, I want you to do something really important for the next two hours. Right. Yeah. And then someone, and then you were sort of coming and then someone else came up to you and they go, Hey, I need to like have a quick phone call with them that you'd go.

No, no, no. I'll have them call you back in two hours. You know what I mean? Yeah. So if it was, if your brain, if you think of it like that, so everything you want yourself to do, you go, Hey, I want to work on this for two hours. I need to get this done today all of anything like that how you would block off other things from getting to your employee think of your own brain like that as an employee yeah

because or anyone who wanted to do anything also sounds like you might have fucking you should be posting this in multiplicity i think it's honestly a good way to think of it that changes because everyone's uh everyone's more respectful to other people's times a lot of times in their own right yeah so if you think about that treat it like what if someone else was doing something really important and you were sort of uh had and they were doing it for you and then someone come in they're like hey i just need to ask them a quick question you go hey they'll get back to you in two hours like that's what you'd say to them right yeah so you treat it like that's what your own brain is and same with making them do stuff like imagine you need parameters

like the same way that if you're telling someone to do something you go hey i want some like graphic design done or i want you to uh do you know set up a set up like a thing you wouldn't just say i don't know figure it out you would probably go you know here are the parameters here's how much money you want to spend here's like so the same reason with or they'll do a crappy job and then you'll come back and have to so with your own brain you need to set your own parameters where you go hey here's the task i want you to do you know uh and what do you tell you speak to yourself in like a mirror kind of thing well you can write it down if you want you could write down like sometimes you could write down your parameters oh but you could also i mean you know some of

the things you could turn your phone off and you could but it's a lot of times like justifying it we think about that's how you uh your brain is really like this like a machine that's working for you it's interesting so anyways that's a computer if you will yeah something like that you basically want to write your brain like a robot that's working for you something like that bang the robot yeah you can robots jerking off again a robot would be jerking yeah that's that's the thing the robot every hour is like yeah you want to spank it yeah you want crank one out you go no and you can't crank one out yeah come on let's crank one out we'd love to crank please crank crank. Crank meter high. Cranking meter is high.

Crank it. They had, you know how we did the article last week about the, so there was the guy that was mad that his son was into trucks or whatever. Yeah. There's this woman that's trying to raise her son. She goes, raising feminist sons seems easy. A daughter, much trickier. And it's this woman who's like a and it was in washington post and it's this woman who's like really mad that the opposite

where her daughter isn't you know she wanted to put makeup on and stuff like that she was having a oh my god i saw uh there's a lot of that i think oh yeah you know but it's funny just to see this a complete opposite you know what i mean a dad's pissed off that his son wants to use trucks. A mom's pissed off that her son wants to put on lipstick. It's just like, and I saw like a funny, really funny couple of memes coming out the other day. There was one that was, it said, women in, it said, women, you know, know 1970 we want to be equal to men uh women uh 2000 we don't need men women 2022 we are men and there was another one that was like the evolution of women's private parts

and it basically had like uh it was like 40 years ago the girl had a big bush and then 30 years ago smaller bush then uh then 20 years ago like almost then completely it was like 40 years ago, the girl had a big bush. And then 30 years ago, smaller bush. Then 20 years ago, like almost then completely shaven. Then 10 years ago, the dick. Those ladies, wacky. The meme sphere was fucking bumping. But just, it just, I won't go through the whole article, but it was just making me laugh. Some of it, they go, you know, we knew it's easy to raise our boys as feminists. They said they got a clunky but equitable surname and painted their toenails upon request.

So it's easy to raise your boys. You just paint your toenails and give them a hyphenated name. You know what I mean? You're Henderson Rosenbaum. Female, female, what's better? Female name first or last? Did you see the couple that flipped the coin to do it? Yeah.

Yeah, there was a couple that said they're going to flip a coin to figure it out. And she goes, at the wedding? At the wedding.

Could you, would you, if you were doing that, would you get like, Two-sided coin? No. No, I would get like,

if you had the money, like, because you know how people will hire like a big band? Like, will you get like an NFL ref? I think they do. To come in, like you know how people will hire like a big band. Like, will you get like an NFL ref? I think they do. Like you go like, that's Ed Hockley.

Like that guy's like one of the best refs. He knows how to do it. He knows it. And that guy's flipped fucking 20 Superbowl coins. This is, cost us 50 grand to bring him in here. I think you do have to, you know. And he's dressed full, full ref outfit. I mean, what are you going to do?

You're going to, what's the other alternative? You bring on some guy that didn't, you know, he flips the coin, fumbles it, botches it, drops it on the ground. Then what?

You got problems. You need a professional. It lands on its side perfectly. Like just the one in a million. He knows how to not do that. Yeah. I guess we're hyphenating. So this,

you know, these people, it's modern solutions for modern problems. Right. And then says, as a feminist, I was good on theory but mediocre in practice i shied from conflict craved approval and blah blah blah blah blah she goes on right

this is written by a woman yeah it is the blah blah blah part blah blah blah blah blah and yet every day i tried every single day i was on guard from the moment she was born no barbie dolls shall breach the perimeter but as soon as she went to preschool, princesses started entering her consciousness and worked their Disney magic. At age three, she wanted to only wear dresses, so she's not allowed to wear her overalls. Literally, this is the exact same thing that happened with my niece. They were just like, we're not going to, you know, we'll let her do her thing. My brother and sister-in-law, they're like, yeah, we'll just let her do whatever she wants. And then she very much gravitated towards it.

That's what happened. But they weren't like upset about it. No, exactly. It's not like insane where they go like, oh, this is devastating. Well, we'll make you a compromise. You can wear the princess outfit, but you got to put a hard hat on.

Here's the deal. You get to wear the princess outfit, but we're putting you on hormone blockers early, puberty blockers early. That's sort of a compromise that we're all making. That's phil lizzie had my one of my favorite jokes remember in toronto he was like uh you know my friend was like i don't want a daughter to have a princess themed birthday party because i don't want her to grow up thinking all this nonsense like princesses are real and he was like princesses are real.

Just for the record, princesses are real and you can be a princess. Yes. It happens. Angela Merkel. Yeah. Angela Merkel. What's her name? Meghan Merkel.

Meghan Merkel. Who's Angela Merkel? British politician. Chancellor of Germany. Chancellor is a fucking dorky name. Former chancellor. A chancellor. I'm the chancellor. Oh, that's the guy from Friends. Joey Chancellor. It was Joey,y name. Former Chancellor. A Chancellor! I'm the Chancellor. Oh, that's the guy from Friends.

Joey Chancellor. The Chancellor. It was Joey, Phoebe, and Chancellor. Probably have about the same odds of being a princess as being the president. So it's like, if you can shoot to be the president, you can aim to be a princess. Exactly. So that's what they're saying to this girl. Put your hard hat on.

Put your tool belt on. That's what they're saying to this girl. Put your hard hat on. Put your tool belt on. Here's your rugby. I guess rugby balls still can be feminine. Rugby ball? Yeah.

That's a big lesbian sport. That's what you'd want. That's what you probably would give them a rugby ball. We're going to give you a girl's sport. You know what I mean? I made sure to praise her brains and not looks. I refrained from counting calories in her presence. And I stopped hugging her without permission she's that's the other thing the mom said she was like you know i she put on weight and she felt bad about it so she has she goes you

know and i put on 50 pounds and i actually i know i i still feel bad about it and i wish i would lose weight because that's the patriarchy ingrained into my brain and all this stuff i hate that patriarchy but it's just funny like like putting on weight and being like, ah, I'm getting a little fat. And you're just like, you need to fuck, you know, this frigging, it's like idiot. You need to get fatter. Yes, idiot. Get fatter. Yeah.

So I began to ask for her permission before hugging her when she said, no, I felt a woeful joy. So it was sort of a test. You know what I mean? And she goes, hey, daughter, could I hug you? And then she goes, i'm not in the mood she goes that's my girl that's my girl that's my girl you don't let anyone fucking hug you ever again if you don't want to hug anyone that was a that was that sounds like a

fun household that was sort of a big one a few years ago right the um the uh that was like a big one they were pushing the you know that it's all a lot of young girls have to kiss relatives or whatever right yeah i wish we which was nice for them to get to do that like hey you don't have to hug your grandfather anymore like you're not obliged to do that whereas like we still have to fucking give a fucking smooch to some old bag when we're right you got some old bag slobbering on you with her dentures we don't get the same treatment yeah well i mean if you're italian that's just everybody's kissing everybody everyone's kissing everyone smooch city but with a girl you get to be like no no no consents consent grandpa or whatever whereas we have we walk in rapist grandpa yeah

we have we have uh family gatherings grandma fucking struts in the door kicks it down farts you know i love the idea of some guy got her titties out give me a fucking kiss little boy some guy who fought in like world war ii and he's got to ask his like great granddaughter if it's okay for a hug he's getting a proper consent yeah well they got that but we didn't get to do it so it's was some bullshit. It's not fair. No, I know. I just thought it was so funny the way that this girl was the exact opposite. You know what?

She's going to end up being in like porn. Like she's going to rebel against this whole thing so hard. Oh, yeah. As kids do. A lot of them that are going to do that. But then she'll be in porn and the mom will be like. Well, it goes one of two. Yeah, you are.

It goes one of two ways. And I think it's a fairly even split. That's what I was saying. There's that's the same as, you know, when you want your kid to be like the professional It goes one of two ways, and I think it's a fairly even split. That's what I was saying. That's the same as when you want your kid to be like the professional golfer and you force him like the Tiger Woods, right? Yeah. Yeah, it's like one of them become the best in the world. The other one hates golf.

Yeah, yeah. That's what you never hear about. It's a visceral reaction to seeing golf. Well, you never hear about his brother, Housecat Woods, right? You didn't want to go with the opposite of a tiger? What's the opposite of a tiger? A wolf or something? Well, a wolf could still be good at golf.

I tried to think of something pussy-ass. What's the, like, mouse woods? Pussy would have just done it. No, it'd be like house. Pussy woods. Yeah, yeah. Pussy woods. Well, that's right.

They named their one kid Tiger Woods and their other kid Field Mouse Woods. So Field Mouse Woods is the other way. Field Mouse Woods, yeah. Pussy woods. Well, that's right. They named their one kid Tiger Woods and their other kid Field Mouse Woods. So Field Mouse Woods is the other way. Very meek. That's what happens when you do that, right? And then the next thing this person said. Okay, so that was that, right? And then there's one more thing before we will bring on our guests.

Because we went through the Hapas stuff, right? Yeah. And it's these multiracial people. And so basically these people uh their whole thing is they uh like they're half asian half you know yeah sort of hawaiian a lot of them i thought they were specifically the hapas white asian there's a lot of them that seem to be like half hawaiian or something because hawaiians are sort of half asians already yes yeah so that's kind of like a version of it, right? But they're very, like their whole thing is they're struggling with this in the new age of identity, right?

So they have these crazy forums and stuff like that on all, it's like all half Asian people. And it's just, it's wild. I'll tell you two of the like craziest ones. So they said, basically, it's on embracing, you know, the tradition without the experience of colonialism and inequality. That's what their title is, right? This is what this dude posted. So just imagine going to your fucking college, getting your brain all fried up to the point that you're posting this. He says, I'm deeply ashamed of my dating history and preferences.

I'm half Asian male, 25 years old. What I'm ashamed of the most is I've dated mainly Asian women. Disgusting. Right. And you go, what's wrong with dating Asian women? You probably like Asian women. He goes, well, you might think that, but I will continue. I advocate against Asian women fetishization in all ways.

Yet I feel as a white passing Asian American, I'm taking part in the subjugation of the same people I advocate for. So he's mad. This is literally woke versus racist

where it's like, you're like, racist shouldn't mix. And you go, yeah, okay. This is literally, you're like, you're saying racist

shouldn't mix. And he's half Asian. And he's half Asian. He goes, that was a mistake. Racist should not mix mix have you ever seen the thing where uh the seinfeld episode where they have the cookies the white and the black and then they grow bad in his stomach that's what's happening to his body his white side is

like give me that fucking yeah yeah give me that yellow pussy like his asian his white side's like a huge and his battle he's like asian sides wearing like the hat and stuff like that like in the field in his body and he's like you, you stay away from our woman, whitey. I mean, the white parent probably. You white devil. You stay away from our women, white devil. He probably does call his fucking, gives his white parent kind of a hard time, I bet. Well, because his dad, he doesn't want to be like his dad who was banging Asian women, right?

Who's fetishizing them. Right, because his white dad's going to him. He's bringing an Asian daughter home back to family gatherings. And the dad's like, Asian women are women, right? Who's fetishizing them. Right, because his white dad's going to him. He's bringing an Asian daughter home back to family gatherings and the dad's like, Asian women are sick, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes, dad.

Someone else got the fever, huh? Yeah. I got the fever. No, no, no, no, no. I got the fever. Yeah. So he goes to his dad and his dad's sort of this white bro

that was, you know, finance bro banging Asian chicks. Or just a Jewish guy. A Jewish guy, yeah. Jewish guys love asian girls why do jewish guys love asian girls so much uh i think because i think because culturally it's very similar uh-huh and then uh and then doesn't remind you of your family no so it's like a bit of the best of both it's basically like dating your mom that doesn't look like her yeah Yeah. Yeah, I could see that. But culturally, in terms of caring about education and all that stuff, it's very similar. Very into education.

I got the fever! I got the fever! So he's having a complete internal battle, right? And it's like their brains are fried, right? And he goes, I maintain that it's simply who I find attractive, and so therefore I date them. So he's got his alibi. Yeah. Sure. Okay.

Fucking sure, bud. Yeah. Sure, buddy. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. So we're just all dating people we find attractive. Nine Asians in a row.

Yeah. We're buying that. He's real mad. Right. And he goes, of course, I'm never explicitly looking at Asian American women under a specialized lens. That's just who I'm attracted to. at Asian American women under a specialized lens. That's just who I'm attracted to. Yeah.

Okay. Also, again, like the birds of a feather, you probably have a pretty big group of friends who are Asian. Yeah. Like there's a big, you know, you probably just have a lot of, so then you date who's in your group. Well, also he's sort of saying, hey, listen, I don't want these white guys out here banging Asians. The way I do it's fine. Yeah. Because he's sort of, he's found a way to try to justify his internal strife.

As they do. But yeah, yeah. It's kind of, you know, like a black guy that only dates women. It's like, it's, I'm fine. But like, look at all, you know, look at these people. I mean, my wife's white, but like, look at all these people fetishize, white guys that date black women kind of thing. Yeah.

For me, but not, you know. With all this in mind, i'm still deeply ashamed so he basically um sitting there you know smoking the cigarette after sex and he's just like get the fuck out what have i done and then he goes i'm gonna go for ramen again get out get the fuck out i'm a monster yeah he tries to go to you know he's trying to just force feed himself with his eyes open looking at like indian uh indian chick porn what do they call that desi porn yeah he's just got his eyes up. He's just like, like it. Like it. Yeah, but he can't.

Fucking. I can't. Tapping at his dick. But I must. Get hard. Yeah. Get hard. He's flicking it.

Dig it. He's flicking his dick. Come on. Come on, dude. Get hard. Get the fuck hard. Yeah, you fucking. Yeah, come on, crow baby. hard. Get the fuck hard. Yeah, you fucking. Yeah, come on.

Grow, baby. Grow, baby. There you go. Grow, baby, grow. Grow, baby, grow. You got the grow in you. You got the grow in you. One single tear comes by.

You could do it. Look at those big white titties. Come on, look at those big white titties. He's motorboating yeah he's plugging his nose it tastes like bleach it tastes like white bread i can't do it anymore he's like comes running up to an asian girl he's like i'm back i can't do it and she's like who are you he's like oh right i still do I will say though for someone he's 25 years old you're like you got to think he's been getting force fed all this shit about all the self-hate stuff being that's what I'm saying 25

for like a good chunk of his developed life it's interesting right so that's like kind of makes you kind of reasonable to think people are like that well this is what it does to people it puts them in a bind where they you know have all this internal strife of, you know, they're basically like, it's bad being white, but it's worse being Asian, but you don't even get to do that,

but also you're Asian. Like, you can see why this shit would put them all confused. No, it's shit being Asian, but the problem is, it's just like the Asian... No, according to their ideology, they're being force-fed.

Well, it's just like the Asian in him doesn't like the Asians. It's the white in him that likes the Asians. That's the problem. But the Asian in him is sort of like, you know, he doesn't like the... He has a half-colon that likes the asians that's but the asian in him is sort of like you know he doesn't like that he has a half colonizer you know what i mean with this in mind i'm still deeply ashamed i honestly wish i wasn't attracted to them so yeah this is the world greatest part yeah he goes i wish that i didn't have to be attracted to these

fucking oh like a you know like an old slave owner yeah monsters ball or something right like you think i you think i want to fucking have sex with these asians these sweet sweet sweet sweet delicious asians i have to my racism is forcing me to do it wasn't attracted them and i wish i wasn't attracted to them because i hate myself for both the association and the thought that i have a racially prejudiced dating press so he's basically a slave to the asian snitch i like this point he goes he's gotten to the point where my friends see me as the guy who dates asians which is what i view as an embarrassing creepy moniker it goes to china he goes you guys are fucking creeps creep fucking creep that was the

one that we were reading the other day where basically it was someone they're just like these men they just won't stop banging asian women and you're just like where do you live shanghai what the fuck yeah that'll happen yeah i think that'll happen my friend so that's what's going on with that. It's tough out here. But we got Revenge of the Cis here. They're coming into the studio. Let's bring the fellas in.

These guys, you should have seen them yesterday because their whole thing is like comics won't trash other comics. They're at the stand. They'll be like, Hey, you recognize this girl from the Girls Rule Men Drool podcast? And you're all, Oh, hello. Nice to meet you.

Excuse me. I love women. Women are the best. What are you talking about, dude? No, well, because you guys, yeah, you're very like comics, need to talk shit about comics more, right? Well, not need to. No, that's not need to.

But you were there last night at the stand. You see it. But what I mean is this. It's funny. But what I mean is this is like there's a lot of like dudes who hate each other they go no no they're great they're great they're so good they're so awesome and then two minutes later like fucking guys are fucking oh that's caught that's comedy but wouldn't that also be like any workplace do you know what i mean would you be like you're like fuck that guy in accountings is pretty crappy you're like why don't you post that on facebook

if you're such a man say it to his face in the break room what do you think i'm what do you think i'm a podcaster that's the problem man yeah you're like well man. Yeah, why don't you go say it to his face in the break room? What do you think I'm a podcaster? That's the problem, man. Yeah, you're like, well, everyone does talk shit. I'll tell you one comment, Kyle, that, I don't know, did you guys see this? In the last hour, it broke Andy Dick. Dude, dude, yeah, we were just talking about that. Yup. Yeah, that was

bound to happen. So what happened? Did he have the scoop more than we do? Yeah, so he got arrested for allegedly molesting a ip2 live streamer by the name of jj yeah and the problem is is that i i cover ip2 all the time what's ip2 yeah it's like a all right so remember ice beside and remember water sports channel so there's this guy ice beside and he started a whole network and then half his audience decided to hate him and they started their own network they just have all these like drugged out like crazy people like

street kids that like rent rvs and yeah you know go out and stream live and you know it's it's very alaska's is that where he got his idea for no well he's part of it loosely that's the streaming you were saying that like basically the all the fans are just like get arrested yeah that's pretty much it maybe 10 bucks if you get arrested but the the problem is it's a weird subculture. Andy Dick already did this live on camera on a stream before this to another male streamer

and like, What did he do, like grab his dick or something? Like he was grabbing his dick while he was asleep, like tried to turn off one stream not knowing

there was another stream going. Yeah, it's a bit different with a guy. But no, it's both guys. It's both guy situations. Yeah,

it's Andy Dick. I don't know if you've ever heard he's a famous homosexual. Yeah, he like, so situations yeah it's andy dick i don't know if you've ever heard he's a famous homosexual yeah he like um so yeah it's they kept him on that uh rv even though he'd already done it once you can't grab any more dicks we've all been there right you get one you get one and they've been milking you have one dick grab and that's it and they're milking him because he's super famous so of course they're like we're gonna keep andy dick on but they left him on he was super famous and now, of course, they're like, well, we're going to keep Andy Dick on. But they left him on after that. He was super famous.

And now he's done it to somebody else. So it's like. And they already gave him his warning. They're like, listen, you. I feel like you should probably take a couple days off the RV when you do that. Right. But then he also lives in that RV. So where is he supposed to go?

Does he live in that RV? Back to Hollywood or whatever. I have. I'm assuming Andy Dick has money. Right. Some sort of money. He's really. Is he really broke? I don't know. He, I'm assuming Andy Dick has money, right? Some sort of money? Really?

Is he really broke? I don't know. You think he's doing this shit because he has money? No, I think he's doing this shit because he's horny. I'm sure he's horny. Oh, I thought this was just like where his career is at. No, no. He's a fucking RV streamer. That might be true, but he still has money.

He's an RV streamer. I think he has money. I think what it is... He must be getting... It's attention. He's radio royalties. He still wants to be in some sort of fandom, right? I agree with that.

You see all these other people that came up with him on TV shows now and on Law & Order episodes, and he's in our... He needs attention. I mean, I think that's what it is. Think about it. There was a time on news radio Andy Dick was bigger than Joe Rogan. Yeah. And boy, have they crossed paths.

Right. Now Joe Rogan is literally God, and Andy Dick's just this fucking coked out guy getting beat up. This coked up dude getting beat up by John Lovitz and molesting IRL streamers in an RV. Why couldn't Andy Dick just have a podcast? Like, go do a YouTube podcast? I'm sure he strives.

He's just a crazy guy. Well, I know someone in LA that told me, not to say their name or whatever, but they basically are just. Jay Moore. Yeah, it was Jay Moore. Wanda Sykes. So basically, Andy Dick, they had a party,

and then Andy Dick showed up at the party, and it was very like, oh, who invited Andy Dick? And he just heard there was a party, right? High school shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah he shows up to like Hollywood parties on like I'm just a guy

from a different school I read the Facebook invite right one of my burner accounts shows up to the fucking Met Gala and he's like hey what's up guys

you didn't do your privacy setting right when you made the party invitation and he so everyone left and the people thought it was cool that he was there for the most

part, right? But then at like, you know, 5 a.m., 6 a.m., 7 a.m., people are doing rails and stuff. At one point, it's just the two guys and Andy Dick. And these guys are like 20, right? Andy Dick's like 55 or whatever, how old he is, right? And then he won't leave. But then they kind of thought it was cool. They're like, fuck it, we'll do an all-nighter.

So they do an all-nighter with Andy Dick. He goes to sleep at like you know 4 p.m the next day you know they wakes up at 9 or 10 and he was like yo let's call the guy let's get it going and they're just like i mean you've been here for fucking 35 hours and he immediately took charge he wouldn't leave it was like i think he thought he was on some bill murray kind of thing right no i mean i think that's the problem though with him like i think it's like well that and dude he had an mtv show people forget any dick like had an mtv show yeah the andy dick show got like a couple seasons and and so he was for a while there he was you know people knew who he was and then all of a sudden because he's fucking weird with everything he does people like nobody

wants him around yeah i think it's also the dozens of alleged incidents of violence and sexual assaults or anybody who's a huge phil hartman fan probably doesn't like him so there's you know dude he honestly he has a john lovett's like that's crazy to me oh yeah oh yeah john lovett's twice his ass that's a real thing fist fucked no yeah. John Lovitz kicked his ass. That's a real thing. I thought you said fist fucked. No, fist fucked. So did I. I smashed his head on the floor.

I'm like, these guys are, what is John Lovitz a jackass? I want to say, John Lovitz? Yeah, they were trying to do a jackass competitor. It was on an episode of The Critic, if I remember correctly. It stinks. Yeah, Steve-O, Knoxville, Bam, Lovitz. They got the whole gang together. But yeah, you didn't know that,

like, all right, so the story was that Andy Dick was the one that reintroduced Phil Hartman's wife to, like, drugs. Yeah. And then she went crazy and killed Phil Hartman. He's a big drug guy.

And then, like, Andy Dick was talking shit about it and it got back to John Lovitz. What did he say? She can't handle her coke. No, he said something like, he put the, you know, he went to John Lovitz

and said, like, I put the Phil Hartman curse on you or something. Yes, because he was hammered and he was being a real dick, right? And Lovitz found him. Smashed his head on the bar like several times. Mean drunk. Yeah.

Lovitz smashed Andy Dick's head on the bar? Yeah, Lovitz kicked Andy Dick's ass. Oh, Lovitz. No, Lovitz is a Chad, man. Yeah, he really is. He really is. Dude, that's crazy. Saying that's the ticket, his catchphrase while he's doing it. That that's crazy saying that's the ticket

his catchphrase while he's doing it that's the ticket that's the ticket another one that died you guys know Kevin Samuels right yeah of course

of course R.I.P. King do you like him R.I.P. King he's awesome I never really watched his like stuff but it's

I guess everyone's sort of melting down like you know because they hated him right oh they really hated him. Do you not know Kevin Samuels? Of course. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Women specifically hated him. Black women didn't like him. Yeah, I know. The world lost a treasure. That man is a national treasure. Yeah, he was like, well, I thought there was the one thing everyone was basically saying,

because all the girls were like, good that he's dead, all this stuff, right? Of course. Yeah, yeah, of course. And it was like, yo, fine, you know, good that he's dead, all this stuff, right? Of course. Yeah, yeah, of course. And it was like, yo, fine, make fun of people when they're dead, but like, then you can't get mad when other people do it. No, no, you can't, no. These are the same women that are probably defending Amber Heard right now.

Yeah, because I have no problem with people making fun of people when they're dead. I don't know. No, I don't either. I mean, you know, but I usually... Amber Heard, people aren't... It feels like people switched a little because they're not that mad at him. People are on Johnny Depp's side. He's the better actor.

That's why. He's very charismatic. That's what it's dead. That's all it is. Dude, when he told... I gave Marilyn Manson a pill so he would stop talking. That's pretty much all he said.

Yeah, that was... Do you think that... Don't you think, like, if this was three years ago, people would be it would not even be an option to be pro johnny depp yeah publicly i think i like think like what happened is like a lot like every movement right every movement every movement oh it gets too big and then the me too movement went something like hey let's get people like harvey

weinstein to like every guy's horrible so no everyone's like i don't want to do this anymore everybody's you know and then people it started the me too movement or caught doing it too and you're like okay so this is stupid I think it's also a mercy saying before where there's a but there's so many people that were just like they looked around and they're like everyone that I know that's cool isn't into this stuff everyone I know that's a loser is. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it was one of those. Kevin Samuels is a big one. The thing, what did he do? He went, his big original hit was telling the girl, you're average at best, right?

Yes. Yes. And then didn't he tell like 500 women? They would just call, because they would call in, right? Of course. He would do these like FaceTimes or whatever. Yeah.

And he just shits on them. He wouldn't just shit on them. I mean, I've watched some of his videos. I think that the more, obviously, the people dig for the good content and that's him being shitty. Yeah, yeah. But there's a lot of videos I watch

where he's just being very matter-of-fact with them and being like, yeah, I mean, like, you are 38 and you already have one kid. Like, okay, so you got to go easy on this new guy. Yeah, he's like, yeah, this is how the world sees you. Women are like, what? You're not a fucking, you're not a virgin Disney princess anymore.

You know what I mean? You got to start making some cuts and some cutbacks here. Yeah, well, how many girls have posted a thing where it's like,

I need a guy that's like this tall, makes this much money and he did the math and he was like, that's 0.1%. So it's like one in a thousand guys.

That's what your league, you know what I mean? Right, but a guy's not allowed to have any standards. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't. You have to be like,

oh, you have to accept me for how I look and my seven kids and all the mistakes I've made and my debt. And you're like, all right. I mean. You need to be like. No guy can be like, oh, you fucking don't want to say this. There is nothing. It's actually better to have a two-inch dick and there's fucking no. Yeah, exactly.

You're right. You need to be 6'2 and totally ripped, but they're also curvy. And every time you see curvy, you're like, all right, look, we got to. I think we need to adopt a national standard for the also curvy. Every time you see curvy, you're like, I think we need to adopt a national standard for the term curvy. You know what I'm saying? I need a man who's ripped and a pro athlete. I'm curvy, by the way.

You're like 4'11 and 250. They're better at marketing. You have to almost give it to girls, though. We had dad bod for a while. That was probably the best work that men have done in terms of... That's all Leonardo Caprio, by the way. That was probably the best work that men have done in terms of... That's all Leonardo DiCaprio, by the way. That was all him, too.

Well, that's what you need. I mean, that's like... I love a guy with dad bod, but also that has a yacht, right? But I think that's a woman still coined dad bod. Yeah. Because they were saying how much they loved his dad bod. So it was like... They loved Leonardo DiCaprio, but I'm a fat guy, right?

So every fat guy's like, hey, guess what? Guess what, ladies? Who's the Chad now? I think that was all born just because Leonardo DiCaprio decided one summer, I'm just going to get a between movies takeoff for two months and sit on my boat. And he was just burping, drinking fucking beers. Bro, banging like 22-year-old chicks. Yeah, it was the just yeah you know what it

is with kevin samuels too because there was a bunch of uh like he's done more stuff about like kind of guys like saying the same thing yo dude you're fucking broke like you what you think you get a supermodel exactly kind of the same thing but it was kind of making me laugh the idea that dude inspiration is all like you gotta fucking to fucking take over the world, bro. Like, you need to better yourself. And girl inspiration is all, you are perfect. Change nothing. Nothing you need to change.

Yeah, yeah. There's nothing you need to pivot in your life. Make zero modifications. The guys are sending each other the rock motivational memes. Like, go rise and grind, man. Go get it. And women are like, don't change. If anything, get worse.

Because that's good now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because men don't deserve you at your best anyway. Yeah, exactly. And you're like, don't change. If anything, get worse. Because that's good now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because men don't deserve you at your best anyway. And you're like, fuck, Jesus, man. Yeah, and all the female clothing lines are all just like, all the models look like fucking us. Yeah, no, you're right. That's actually true.

There's no more like the Victoria's Secret band. And what I always talk about is it's not that shit changes. When the retarded one is the hottest one now, you have a problem, you know? It's a problem, right? We've reached a critical point when you go, wait a minute, dude, one of them's a retard and she's literally the hottest one. That's right. There's the retard one, there's the trans one.

And you're like, all right, like, you know, so you've taken everything away from them. That's it. Yeah, you're getting, you have one choice now. You get the retard or the one with the dick. Like pick one now and you have 10 seconds. Let's go. It's like a game show.

Can I have, can I have? And you're like, I don't know the retard, I guess. Oh, ew. Can I think about it? No, the one with the dick, obviously. Because you know she's not going to be annoying because she's still a dude, you know? That is the ultimate. It's like, yeah, you because she's still a dude, you know? That is the ultimate.

It's like, yeah, you have all of the skills of a man with the life on easy mode of a woman. It's amazing, right? Like all the strength. Like you get all the strength and you're quick and you're fast. I'm getting all the perks and now I'm going to dominate you ladies in sports. But there's people buying you drinks and opening doors. It's awesome. the perks and now i'm gonna dominate you ladies buying you drinks and opening doors awesome there was a it really is like uh girls don't like a message of self-improvement it's like a very it's they have to arrive at them it's an attack one girl that's like a popular like i can name 40 guys that's all like what's a girl what's the girl version of even like a

tony robbins i think it used to be oprah well like there's the girl version of even a Tony Robbins? I think it used to be Oprah. Or like there's a female version of like Jocko Willing. Yeah, what is that? Oh, you got your period and you were late to work today? Good. Yeah. Is there a girl version telling people to take ice baths and stuff? Dr. Phil, and it's a guy

still telling girls what to do. What does he do? It's okay to be who you are and that doesn't make you less of a person but it's it is kind of funny though because you're right because like dudes dudes will be like hey man you're getting in shape good for you girls like remember when when when what's her face you think you're better than us when adele when adele lost weight when adele lost weight women were mad at her they weren't even happy for her they were like Ethan Supley the really big dude

from Mallrats that lost all the weight he got all jacked the guy from Boy Meets World yeah the guy got he was in Boy Meets World yeah yeah

he was the bully so he got all jacked and everyone's like yeah good for you bro you're awesome dude get hell get Rebel Wilson loses weight

it's like this bitch what does she think she lost a ton I know fucking bitch and they get all like you bitch what does she think she lost a ton I know fucking bitch and they get all like you know what she looks ugly now

her face looks like she almost there is something to be said about she like rode the like fat positivity movement to like fame and she was like

I'll be the funny fat person right when fat's in and then the moment that stuff was wearing out she's like alright see you later fatty she got fat surgery in it she got lap band and a personal trainer you're like oh okay it's awesome that is like what she

did she come yeah she really rose the she rose no pun intended like slapped her leg and rode her own fat way and what it's it's but it's it's just that weird brilliant move it's that it's like that it's like everybody says like you know dude there is no there everybody says, there is no female motivational speaker because other women don't like when women succeed. They're so mad at each other. People get mad. Guys are so misogynistic. And I'm like, look, man, I have a lot of female friends, a lot of male friends, and nobody hates women more than other women. There's no guy.

There's no guy that hates a woman more than than another woman does you know right and it's it's just it's like you know dudes are like if we're hanging out with you like oh you you fucking loser you suck and when you leave like man that ryan's a good fucking dude but for chicks it's like oh my god you're so pretty she goes to the bathroom oh my god she's getting so fat what a bitch did you see her you're like well that's why you guys are fighting and that's why they don't have motivational speakers. Did you hear what she did in fucking 2004?

Oh my God. Yeah, they don't want to be felt like that they need improvements. As soon as you go like, hey, you want to come to the gym

with me one day? It's like, what is that? Oh, I get it. So like, I'm getting fat. Is that what it is?

You're like, no, I just don't trust you at home. You're going to rifle through my things like some Dominicanican cna your phone on log key that was one thing the future uh he was because everyone's he he had kevin samuels in a video and then he sort of uh everyone's getting mad at him because he's like

the toxic brand or whatever of course but then he actually said something reasonable i wrote it down he was like oh i would have. He was like, Oh, I would have, uh, he was like, I wouldn't have had him in the video if I knew if it was him. Cause it would have been too obvious of a move of me. Cause everyone thought it was toxic. So it was like,

it was future. Sounds cool. He was like, no, I wouldn't not have him in the movie. Cause he's toxic. It would just be like too on brand for me. And I like to like,

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when you go to babbel.com slash boyscast. B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash boyscast for up to 60% off your subscription. Babbel, a language for life. Getting back into it. But I wanted to do just a quick thing. So you guys are constantly online being like, you know,

New York and LA blow, right? Yeah. Yeah. Um, New York's okay. No, New York.

Oh, you mean like, like it's for, Oh yeah. New York and LA do kind of suck. I was, well people. Yeah.

Cause I, I feel like I have a specific thing. Cause I'm like, especially, I don't know if you feel like this, where I was like, I left my entire kind of life behind to come to New York specifically. So I had it, especially, I don't know if you feel like this, where I was like, I left my entire kind of life behind to come to New York specifically.

The Big Apple. The Big Apple. I had sort of a thinking of that. Of course. And when I got here, other than the stuff that is, okay, obviously, so I made a list of what the, you know, the stats are or whatever. Okay.

So there's obviously, yes, homeless people and all that stuff, but that wasn't a surprise. Like, to me, I wasn't like, it's going to be a cleanly hub. To be fair, we don't really do the whole, oh, New York has homeless people. That's more of a- Because Florida, man, is sort of the medium to- That's more of an LA thing. Like, the homeless thing.

You guys have homeless people. We have cold weather that kills them. No, no. That's my point. But LA, it's like there's literal cities that they do nothing about, right? Yeah. So that's not my problem. I have other problems with New York.

Well, they, okay, so, because I want to separate the three. Because basically there's an East Coast, West Coast thing, which I feel more of. And then the Florida people are like, actually, it's East Coast, West Coast, and we're the best. We're trick daddy or some other Southern. That's us. We're trick daddy or some other Southern. That's us. We're trick daddy. Yeah. And it's sort of emerging because people have started to actually move to those places.

Like it's, you know, this is a spot spot. Like, no, it's not an alternative. Like this is the better one. Well, that's because pit bulls there. I actually does make a big difference. That's a big part of our GDP. Exactly. Okay.

So what's the pitch about what's so crappy about New York? Well, first of all, you just said all the homeless here. First of all, those are all Florida men. You have a bunch more of them. We have a lot of Florida men in Chicago. They just behave more because it's freezing out all the time. So that's, you know, you have the same problem. That is true.

You think the cold weather makes them sort of less crazy. I feel like in the summer they're more bopping around and then they get to calm down a little bit in the winter. That's what I'm saying. So you guys have them in the cold. They're all Florida men. They just are freezing. So they're not going to

pull their dick out and try to fuck a rat or a pigeon. Well, they will on the subway because that's where they go. Your subways are super safe, by the way. Subways aren't that safe.

And I'm not what I would consider a pussy, but I do feel a little sometimes what I consider a pussy. And every fucking Asian has a target in their back of their head here too like every week there's like five or six

there hasn't been one in a while though it's like two weeks yeah two full weeks they have the sign up in the subway station with the number like someone

changes the number every day days without a Asian person getting pushed on the subway we're at 16 whoa hey muscle top thank you Number, like someone changes the number every day, days without an Asian person getting pushed on the subway. We're at 16. Whoa, hey, muscle talk. Thank you.

No, it's really funny, though, because, you know, we play all the news stories from everywhere. And trust me, we make fun of Florida more than anybody because we do a lot of dumb shit, right? What? Okay, so I felt like you guys are like Florida supremacists. No, not at all. We make fun of a lot. The problem with Florida is...

I came out rubbing the colors today. Yeah. The thing is like, I know Florida can be this gritty, you know, alligator meth, you know, all these crazy people.

And yes, we have all that. But also there's something cool about that where it's like, nobody tells us what to do. Because I was saying it earlier today, it's like,

everybody thinks it's like, oh yeah, no, it's just a political thing. Bro, this has nothing to do because I was saying it earlier today it's like everybody thinks it's like oh yeah it's just a political thing bro this has nothing to do with politics when it comes to Florida Florida's ungovernable like that's what it is we're crazy we're fucking nuts I was shocked it's a wild place but everybody is super polite because

everyone's armed at all times so it's like yeah they might be like fuck you you cut me off asshole but nobody's like coming yeah, there might be like a fuck you. You cut me off, asshole. But nobody's like coming up to your car with like, you know, a broken hockey stick or something. I remember when I was in Miami, it was on the news that there was like some some people were driving around with like literally a fully automatic rifle and just firing into random cars on the highway. Yeah, that happens sometimes.

Just like for fun. Nice. That happens sometimes. Look, sometimes that happens. It's crazy crazy i'm not saying it's not i i just uh well number one like for me i don't i i've never been like it's not even a new york thing i'm not a big city person yeah you know what i mean like i'm like i go the oh look at these bill look at the bustling life i'm like i don't like that many people around me so i'm like just leave me alone do you know how they always yeah that's how a lot of people always, I always think

of the same way with a lot of people that describe things as like left, right. But really it's like a fucking male, female or whatever. It's like, yeah, people describe kind of fucking red, blue where you're, where you're really describing is like city country. Yeah, no, you're right. That's a really good point because a lot of people always think, oh, it's all political. I'm like, not really. There's just different people have a different kind of lifestyle, right?

City boys versus country boys. City boys versus country boys. Godless city kids. Godless city kids versus us. Nihilists. Us humble, hardworking southern folk. Do you want to eat my gruel? Yeah, it's like New York's as blue as you can get and then drive fucking an hour.

And by the way, you fuckers, here's the problem is that when COVID happened, everyone's like, everyone in New York is like, Oh, Florida is so stupid. And literally everybody from New York was there. Every car was on our highway, clogging it up. And I'm just out the window,

like an old Southern going, Yankee, go home. Florida's tons of New Yorkers. That's like the, Oh no, no, no,

no. So many of them move there because it's same times. And you know what? And I forgive New Yorkers. Cause they're not the worst. The French Canadians. Yeah. French Canadians are garbage. Real French Canadians. Yeah, Ontario.

French Canadians are garbage. Real not great. Yeah, they're bad. They're not great. And it's also the only acceptable form of racism. They don't tip service industry people, which really pisses off Floridians. Oh, the French people.

You'll get shot for that. Top of that car. And it goes to show you racism isn't what people make it out to be because if you ask a server, you go, hey, who tips the worst? You expect to hear like, oh, yeah, black people tip the worst.

But they're like, no. They go, French Canadians. These fucking frogs. Exactly. French Canadians tip the worst. They just won't tip. And they won't do it. And they go.

And then the excuse is, well, you know, it's different there. It's not different. I know it's not. And then I go, what do you mean? This is a different culture. They're from Canada, not not fucking france what's different about it they walk on their hind legs i don't understand okay so they did all the thing taxes obviously that one's bad no income tax boom but there was

some things where they basically said there's some there was some higher they get they've get you a few that's where they get you with property and sales tax. Yeah. So transportation, they, you know, these places have better. So that's a benefit, but I don't get murdered in my car. It takes a little longer to get.

Well, no. So here's the thing. What cities are you comparing? What cities? I just want to know. This was New York, Florida,

but just the whole state. Okay. State to state. Okay. Go ahead. State to state. Okay. So crime,

according to FBI reporting, the overall crime rate in New York is actually quite low. I don't know if this is bias, but... And places the state just outside the top 10 states with the lowest crime rate overall. I mean, they did in your defense, New York, they just stopped arresting people for stuff. Yeah. Well, also, you got to realize... But is that why?

Because it says here that the crime rate in Florida is actually higher. Well, okay. Here's the thing. So what is the... Tell me this, here that the crime rate in Florida is actually higher. Well, okay. Here's the thing. So what is it? Tell me this, Skinny. Here's what it is. The reason that – this is a little inside baseball. How do they fucking stack the stats?

It's actually funny. It doesn't make sense to me either. The reason that Florida – everybody thinks that Florida is this crazy state because you always have these Florida man stories, right, that come out. Everybody thinks that Florida is this crazy state because you always have these Florida man stories, right, that come out. But the reason those stories actually come out so quickly and so it's because we have something called sunshine state laws, right? Where all you can't you can't like other places let you like, you know, crimes are immediately published. Yeah, they're published immediately. I know. It's right away.

So obviously, you know, that affects the crime. And, you know, we're still I mean, there's a lot of parts of Florida like Polk County. We have like Grady Judge. You know, Grady Judge, the crazy sheriff that we have. The one that's always, oh, he's nuts. Anyway. Plus, we have a bunch. I don't know your Florida sheriffs.

Plus, we have a bunch. Oh, yeah. Sorry, but everyone needs to know. First off, sending me to the wrong studio. You don't even know where you're at. Yeah, seriously. By the way. I sent them to the wrong studio.

Yeah. I'm sitting out there in front of a sidewalk flea market going, where the fuck is flying? How sick is that sidewalk flea market? It's pretty cool, though. It went from them. I got a Gucci wallet. Dude, it went from them selling stuff that they were finding super quickly. They're like, oh, you're just going to steal stuff and start our own businesses.

Dude, they sell like ground beef. Okay. So also, for the record, to defend the crime thing, we have Jacksonville. Why is the crime rate higher, though? We have Jacksonville. We have Orlando. rate higher, though? We have Jacksonville. We have Orlando. We have Daytona Beach. We have Miami.

We have Tampa. More cities? You have New York City. Buffalo? Okay, come on. Come on. This is a serious show. Half of those crimes are handed over to the fucking Royal Canadian Mounted Police.

That's a pretty good point. So more cities. Yeah, because New York's big, but Miami's huge. Everyone's trying to scam you in Miami and do crimes. And also the other reason is we don't like juke our stacks the way you guys do in New York. Where they just don't. Like cops just let people off because they don't want the paperwork. Whereas in Florida.

And they just stop working, period, because of the fucking, like cops. People hate the cops so much. If we had an urban area like New York City and we had had like a jaywalking thing there would be prisons it would be an entire processing center filled with people being like well he jaywalked cops back in the day was like 90 florida yeah no that's fair that is fair and they arrest everyone for everything so it's like you know i have a fucking ticket that i didn't pay in hollywood florida for a dog on a boardwalk and then i'm just like there's probably a warrant for the rest no it happens to like i it happens too. Like I ran a toll. Like I ran a toll in Florida.

I didn't run a toll, but my thing just didn't go off or whatever. And then they apparently mailed me a ticket and I never got it. And then I get pulled over and the cop's like, hey, man, your license is suspended. I go, for what? They go, yeah, it says a toll violation like from two years ago. I'm like, oh, fucking what? But so, so again another way they make their money

in Florida you know they gotta that's how they get it and the interest in fees too because like we don't have an income tax

but like I got a parking ticket in Orlando remember that like a few months ago and I was doing some and I come out got the ticket it was like 27 bucks

and it became one of those where I just put it on my desk and I'm like I don't fucking get around to it kept going out and I just didn't get around for like two months it was like $ those Where I just put it on my desk And I'm like I don't fucking get around to it Kept going out And I just didn't get around to it For like two months It was like $57

Like I paid it right before We left for this road trip Because I'm like Oh I don't want to get pulled over That's not that bad No but it was like 24 bucks And then like a month and a half later It was like $57

Dude in Toronto They're like 30 And they eventually end up At like way over $12,000 We got our car towed When I was on tour And came back

And they wanted $2,000 To fucking got our car towed when I was on tour and came back and they wanted 2K to fucking take it out. What? How much? 2K because it was like 175 bucks a day. You know what I mean? You were gone. They're total scumbags. It was furious.

This is when I'm like 21. We had a buddy go on vacation in Toronto and then he left and he was like, you could park on the street. And then when he was gone on his vacation, they started doing construction, and then they put up a sign being like, you can't park on the street. As he was gone. That's amazing.

And then they towed his car. Yeah. And then he's just like, what the fuck? So he gets it, because he's like, my car's stolen. And then they're like, no, it was towed, and you owe all this money to get it back. The sign just popped out of the ground like a cartoon. Oh, legitimately. Well, that's another thing.

The income is higher in New York, so that's one thing. That makes sense. Yeah, so people make more money. But see, hold on, hold on. Well, I mean, pushing people on the subway track is pretty lucrative. That's a good point. Good gig. The income is higher.

Especially if you double it up with handing out tickets to bringer shows. You can make up killing. The income is higher. Especially if you double it up with handing out tickets to bringer shows. You can make up killing. The income is higher, but that's also because after you pay more taxes. Oh, and rent. You can't even fucking. Right, that's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you really making more?

That's happening. No, you aren't. But if you could work here and then save it. And then hopefully save it, then move to Florida. There's a lot of companies. A little life there. There's a lot of companies that started working remote now, like, you know, after COVID, and they stayed remote. So there's a lot of big companies, like in New York and stuff, and people, like, move to Georgia, right?

And they're just like, I have to work remote. I don't need to go to New York. But then these companies are like, okay, but we're not going to pay you your New York paycheck. Then they adjust it for where you're living. And they go, you're going to pay. It's still worth it, though. Honestly, even if they adjust it for where you're living and they go you're gonna pay it's still worth it though honestly even if you adjust it it's like fine fuck it okay how much would a place like our studio be uh in this location and where in like my and i guess not miami but in where you live let's pick let's say let's say like lakeland this

would be like a lakeland area right so a space like this like wide open like that like six seven hundred a month come on yeah we're up around three i mean it would be yeah about maybe a thousand i'll say this no yeah it'd be about about a thousand because you have a kitchen and like a bathroom i forgot about like this is actually a full like you know what i mean about that much yeah and then because i pay about 10 68 and i have a two-bedroom apartment by myself. That's insane. Yeah. Here's a thing that Florida has more of.

Boomers. Okay, yes. I know you guys aren't Boomer fans. Guilty. I will not, but you know what we did? It's the Boomer house. I don't know. We have Long Island.

We did separate, but- Dude, they ruined the world. Traveling drunks, as you say. They ruined the world like four times over, and then COVID happened, and then we ruined the world. Traveling drunks, as you say. They ruined the world like four times over, and then COVID happened, and then we ruined the world to save them. I'm furious. You think that's what happened?

I'm furious at them. Well, they were in charge. Yeah. People were like, why would they do this? You go, because that age of people in charge are that. Yeah, I mean, but it's true. We do have old people, but we're doing a separate but equal thing, but with ageism.

So there's this entire, I'm going to call it a city, basically this whole county called the Villages in Northwest Florida, where it's like all the old people are there. And they're kind of, you know. So the rest of Florida is kind of getting a little bit younger in those areas, because all the old people are in there. Oh, yeah, you know, go right around in your golf cart and they all fuck each other there. Oh, yeah, there's like noise.

Yeah. Yeah. STD infection rate in the villages is like way above the whole state. It's way above the. Yeah. It's worse than college towns. There's actually. There's actually no retirees.

They're all like widowers and shit like listening to Jimmy Buffett and walking around just drinking margaritas all day. And they don't hide it, by the way. They'll be like, oh yeah, I fucked Rob the other day. It was great. And they just do that. It's a bunch of just old ladies. 50, 60 years old.

Nobody can get pregnant. You're going to die soon anyway, even drinking your whole life. You're in fucking Florida. You're doing cheap meth. Where in Florida is that? It's the villages. It's kind of north of Tampa. Oh, okay. It's wild. Yeah. You've been fucking Florida. You're doing cheap math. Where in Florida is that? It's the villages. It's kind of north of Tampa. Oh, okay.

It's wild. Yeah. That sounds like a party. That could be the plan a little bit. And by the way, they'll still let you go to the bars there. There's no way. We could go hang and find somebody.

Yeah, man. Get out there, seduce some women, get them to update their life insurance policies. Yeah. Do you think that there is... We were doing something the other day and people were pushing back on the boomer thing. Do you think that it switched

where like boomers are making a comeback? Like it feels like, what was it the other day? No, when I did Tim Pool. And you said something about boomers? No, I didn't say something. Tim Pool said something about shitting on boomers. Like I can't remember what it was. And then his whole comments was like 20,000 comments

being like, I'm fucking 67 years old. He was saying like boomers. They're can't remember what it was and then his whole comments was like 20 000 comments being like i'm fucking 67 years old yeah he was saying like boomers they're getting oh he was saying he was saying like he was like oh boomers like don't know about uh the ballot it was babylon b he goes they think it's real and they don't know and those people like i've been listening to the bab watching babylon b for fucking 10 years it's like i'm not a boomer i'm sick of getting shit on for being a boomer and like they're the only thing you're like what you're telling me is that uh tim pool's uh audience leans really hip and cool yeah well that's cool cool hip demo i guess this is just a part of these are the ones well these are the ones well no it's funny i'm not guaranteed you're gonna see a tweet from some sort of a some sort of a older mag older maga person going like uh actually the b word is worse than the n word you know it's coming

no it's coming that's gonna karen is literally worse than the N word. That's right. You know it's coming. You know it's coming. Karen is literally worse than the N word. Yeah, did you see that? I'm like, come on. Come on, man. Please stop. So what's the big criticisms for you guys? What's their problem?

DeSantis, he's a monster. He's, every time he's- No, no, no, of boomers. Oh, of like, I thought you meant our state in general. Just that they're- You don't like DeSantis? No, we love DeSantis. That's a criticism we get, though.

They're demonic monsters who reverse mortgaged this country for 40 years and got RVs and went off so they can go fuck in the Arizona desert. And they didn't do what people have done for generations, which is like, this is the family house. And we'll give it to the... You know what I mean? You're supposed to pass things down and take care of your grandparents of your grandparents in your house not send them off to like you know have like some dominican lady in the bronx rifling through their things and like some nursing home

like there were things that you were supposed every generation did it before us and like asians still do it hispanics still do it but a lot of like just the white boomer americans were like yeah i'll just stick that at home and sell his house i don't fucking go party for a while i think i want to go to burning man you're like i'll work remote from burning man and it's like just like like we've gotten to that level and boomers with the first phase of like yeah let's just we'll get a reverse mortgage and shut it all down and then before you know it andy dick is buying your used rv so you can grab somebody's dick in it i need this i'm gonna have it burn because this is you know? The Andy Dick thing is boomer's fault for normalizing RV travel.

Andy Dick's just calling him going, is it evidence yet? Do me a favor. I want to buy it for five grand. All right? No more than five and we got to burn it. Yeah, there is. I'm going to fucking prison.

He would like prison though. You'd think that'd be good for him. That's a good point. There is like, I guess because also not only were they like hey, we're not going to give away our houses there's a lot of them like starting companies right now be like, what if we just

buy all the other houses too? You know what I mean? Yeah, I kind of did. The BlackRock just buying them. Did you see the scam that Zillow's doing? It's, yeah, it kind of did. Oh yeah, like the BlackRock just buying. Dude, BlackRock buys entire, did you see the scam that, did you see the scam that Zillow's doing? Is crypto the way to fight back?

Listen. Have you seen the price of crypto? Bitcoin fixes this. Bitcoin, you know what? Bitcoin fixes this. Hear me out, hear me out. In business with me, BoyzCast, NFT.

BoyzCon, yeah. Let's do it. Let's go, guys. That's the way up. You know what's so funny too is like, because crypto is getting absolutely fucking demolished. I'm taking a break from losing money from crypto to lose money in the real stock market.

I go back and forth. Call me old school, but it's all so brutal right now. Someone's trying to launch an NFT today. And you're like, read the fucking room. I got this picture of Droopy the dog. Not now. Not now. My wife is divorcing me.

Dude, I don't know if you saw. I can't think I got you a mortgage. I told her Cordano and Chainlink were going to make us billionaires. The fucking Luna thing. I don't know if you saw that, but it basically went from $120 to $69 yesterday. Oh, no. It hit $69 yesterday. What?

Is that bad? That is bad. And it's... Because just like crypto does... Are you checking? Just like... No. I thought you were checking your...

Yes. He's panicking. He goes, holy shit. No, thank God I didn't have Lunacorn. Yeah, yeah. But anyways... Our buddy just messaged us. He got fucking torched.

Oh, yeah. You see Merch look down. he goes, I'm ruined. And I found out on the boys cast that I'm ruined. Merch just announced, he goes, I'm launching an NFT if anyone's interested. Yeah, just tell my audience. Guys, just to let you know, my cat is now down to one wet food a day. That's all he's getting. But Luna was like a real cult.

Like they had, like cryptos in general, like it has these, but it was a real cult around Luna. And I was looking through the guy who started this guy doquan who uh daquan no the instagram guy not daquan irish gentleman yes an irish gentleman his name is doquan was just like hey homie figure out how i can get in on this nft game but anyways he started this this thing and everybody was really into it and you know it went from $5 to $120. Everybody was like, we're all going to be rich. But the comments on Twitter when it went from $120 to $1 basically in, I don't know, a week. It was $70 five days ago.

People are jumping out at Winslow. No, people are just like, I bought my whole thing. Buy the dip. Buy the dip. But that is a game as old as time. I've lost money on things. I've made money on things. I've made money on things. But, like, when something's, like, wow, like, taking off like that, you go, okay, I'm not doing this right now.

You've got to wait and see. I do it usually. Or you just, like, put a stop in. I'll get a taste. That's because you have a gambling problem, though. I've been saying on stage that crypto is how men close the wage gap. Every guy puts 20% of his money into crypto and loses it. That's very accurate.

What if women, because they don't know who, they don't really know who's the guy that came up with Bitcoin. What if it's just a woman just to fucking even the scores with us? Yeah, it's like Satoshi's just some chick. Yeah, some chick. Fuck these guys. Look, I don't know those Japanese names. I just assumed it was a dude.

I assumed it was a guy. Because it was brilliant technology. I just assumed. Well, if you think about it, it was making me laugh the idea that the girl fables is like a little red riding hood. Like, don't stay away from strangers is the moral. Jack and the Beanstalk is like a dude fable.

He gives all his money for this bean. Everyone says he's stupid, and it turns out it's actually fucking sick yeah he goes to the fucking moon and he's rich now he literally to the moon what's the moral of that story and i say now you don't even get the like a bean you just get a digital copy of a bean a jpeg of a bean there you go boys uh by the way uh look out for bean coin coming out soon. Yeah, it's Jack and the Beanstein. Dude, actually, I was in Toronto, and I met up with a buddy on the weekend, and he was this girl he's seeing,

and she's like, yeah, I'm going to go to the NFT, whatever, like the NFT. Emporium. New York Con. Pool party. No, no, NFT pool party. No, like the convention. I was like, oh, you're really into that stuff?

And she said, I go, what do you like about it? She goes, oh, you know, she's like, I'm way down, but they just go up in price I go oh okay yeah this is gonna be bad this is gonna be dope by the way they just go up in price that's

no she goes they're down now but she's like you know they'll be back and I'm like you can't lose no really that's because you can tell

this is her extent of the house always loses in this game you fucking mark yeah but I'm like there must be just so many people and you don't know you're into the second part danny's like anyways i got some shit to sell you

speaking of you heard of danny coin loading luna on her i'm selling bean coin now you ever heard of jack and the beanstalk i'm telling you honestly i'd be shocked if that doesn't exist oh Oh, man. Oh, people are getting fucking lit up right now. I've lost so much money. Dude, I've lost so much money, and I have to pay tax on that money. So it's like I'm paying fucking huge amounts on taxes on money I don't have anymore. Literally, if you look at Wall Street Bets right now, it's half of the poster of the suicide hotline.

Unironically. You're right. Unironically. Yeah, yeah. It's not a joke. Everybody's just like,'re right. Unironically. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but like, honestly, everybody's just like, it's not worth it.

Don't kill yourself. Should I get, don't kill yourself. There's still, you can still pawn a few more things in the game. Yeah, people are like, I might kill myself

and they're like, I didn't hear no bell. I didn't hear no bell. Dogecoin is making a comeback, boys. It's under 10 cents. Oh no. That's not good.

We know this girl who fucking, like, she, in the height of the Dogecoin thing, she was like, she was living with her parents, okay? And she was, she's like, not in comedy, but comedy, like, adjacent or whatever. And she was, like, back with her parents, had no money. I guess took out, like, a credit card loan, bought Dogecoin at a penny, had, was up, like, three, she was posting screenshots of it, three quarters of a million dollars. What? Took out like a credit card loan. Bought Dogecoin at a penny. Was up like three. She was posting screenshots of it. Three quarters of a million dollars.

What? Oh, yeah. I remember that. Yeah. And I honestly, I bet you she's just like. Did she hold? No. Yeah, I think so.

She was like a hodler. She's like, it's going up. Diamond hands. Dude, diamond hands hodling is literally one of the worst strategies. Unless you own like Apple. Like, so do it on like a speculative asset on the sp500 and then it became this like badge on disney yeah yeah i mean even disney i guess from 20 years ago sure and if you wait another 20 years the real diamond yeah the real diamond

hands i guess but people are like you're oh you can't be over leveraged and diamond hands that's just not how that works. You get blown up. You sell and then you maybe hang on to a little bit of it. That's pretty fucked. But like, there was the one guy who was the first. I don't know. She kind of went loopy.

Well, yeah. I mean, I would imagine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But remember, there's the dude who was the first Doge millionaire. And he's like, I'm never selling that guy. And he was like, he turned and, you know, he's like pretty not fully round he's still a doge thousand there yeah but he was in i think a four cents got to a million and now i mean i bet you we see doge in five six cents soon yeah hey guys uh i'll tell you what like the moral of this

lesson don't jump take the mill like if there's ever If there ever is a mill in some form. That being said, though, that person that tried to take the mill, as you say, maybe should have taken the 500K. That's not a bad point. That person maybe should have taken the 800K. You know what? That's all comprehensive. Take the 100K.

And beat it. If it hits that, just take it and go back to your hotel room. There's a lot of fucking people. Dude, I did take the 100K. And beat it. If it hits that, just take it and go back to your hotel room. There's a lot of fucking people. Dude, I did take the 100K. Lost. That's not counting taxes, though. It's not counting crypto. Oh, dude, I'll tell you what.

The government is going to be getting a lot of dumb and dumber style IOUs this year. Because those are as good as money. Anyways, fellas, fellas, merch is on sale. RyanLongStore.com. For the love of God. Patreon.com. And if you want to pay in Bitcoin, do that soon. Because Bitcoin is going to be worth less and less every day.

They're only accepting mailed in envelopes of cash at this point. You know what? I don't know here so much, but I did notice when mailed in envelopes of cash at this point. You know what I did? I don't know here so much, but I did notice when I was in Toronto that every place you go by had signs being like 10% discount if you pay cash. I guess everybody's like, we're not giving, we don't want to give our money to the government. Can't I just mail my cash directly to the Ukraine? Yeah, yeah. Just mail it directly to Ukraine.

What if the government's doing it for you? Yeah, just skip the middle. I don't want a middleman. Just cut out the middleman. I'll just give it right to zelensky you know what you do is your offshore company did you see that youtube concert there that was amazing i meant to bring that up actually in the fucking oh dude in the subway station and it was so funny he looked like a street singer and trudeau was there right dude all the cool people of course and he modified some of the lyrics to like isn't that to add ukraine stop yeah he's changing up some of the songs oh well the sweetest linsky kiev bloody kiev oh my god it's terrible that is fucking rough dude it's hard

to watch that yeah yeah I was just complaining funny thing too on those links too is like cause it's just Bono and Edge and like you know

the other guys are probably like fuck we dodged a bullet on this literally they got their drummer do you think

that there was a guy that just turned down his iPod and he was like fucking U2's plan and he goes wait a sec what the fuck

they're in the hallway in real they're doing it for real now apparently it's pretty i was i was i was just hanging out with my family on the weekend and uh my grandmother has this like lady who helps her and she's from ukraine and apparently kiev is like pretty normal right now yeah i mean obviously like nancy pelosi's hanging out with him yeah so i'm like they're all showing

up now right like there are cities where they're don't spread that disinformation not she's from ukraine and they're all she's super pumped because she's like all of her family can now get the fuck out of there and come to canada because they're giving visas so like they're actually like kind of canada's handing out visas all willy-nilly you heard that the ukraine thing was a good thing you heard them for the for some of them some people always come out on top my friend i don't know what to tell you making a little lemonade yes dude i hate to be uh like you can always play that game of like you know this is where my taxes are going with you could just pick a thing right but like it did seem crazy to me right now when like everything's kind of the

read the room thing but everything's crashing i just fucking gave up fucking all my money to the government in the crypto markets and then they're just like, yo, fucking 40 billion. And you're just like, yo, you're robbing it. It does make you be like, I'm going to be a fucking hardcore anarchist crypto guy. There's no baby formula. And they're like,

we need to give $40 billion to Ukraine. Like, you know, the babies aren't eating. Can we figure that out? It did seem like a lot. I don't even know what things cost. They go, what is that, a tank? What's 40 million get you? A couple tanks?

One airplane. It's kind of like being in jail and then having like some big dude come over but like very politely finesse things off of you and like just suggest

that the vibe's bad. Yeah, it's just like, are you going to finish that? Yeah, I didn't have any soap actually. You know what? Can I,

you know, you don't mind and you're like, no, hey, of course not. You know what I mean? Because you just don't want to get raped.

Especially with the whole relationship with the government. It's like, I hope you don't rape me. Yeah, I have commissary items if you want ramen. Yeah, specifically in America. Take my ramen. It's okay. That's fine. Please just don't rape me, dude.

But there is kind of, it's that thing where it'll be like, what? You don't care about poor people? You don't think your tax should be higher? Most of those people, I'm like, well, I paid more than you, so I guess I cared way more than you. Yeah, no, that's a good point i pay my fucking taxes yeah but you then you're uh you're supposed to like like it you're supposed to be like pumped about it yeah i gotta fucking enjoy the bang sorry would you rather than give the money to russia

ryan well that's that's my exact point and that and that's always the argument it's like they're rubbing in your face that's that's the guy in jail. Or no, it's the guy by the subway that's like, my family broke, all this stuff. I'm poor. My daughter can't eat. Can I just give you five bucks or whatever? And you're like, yeah, bro, here's five bucks. And then he just walks by and throws it in the garbage. Oh, come on.

But it's funny because they're saying, oh, yeah, let's just give them $40 billion. But it's not just $40 billion because then it's – two weeks ago it was $20 billion. So when you start – they trickle it in so even – they don't shock you that much. Oh, yeah. It was $20 billion last week. Well, we need to give them $60 billion.

How about $80 billion? A trillion dollars. Money isn't real. Who cares? And then they go, we're going to sanction Russia. We're going to fuck them up. Yeah, but imagine if they are able through this proxy war, which is really what it just is, and then they go, we're going to sanction Russia. We're going to fuck them up. Yeah, but imagine if they are able through this proxy war, which is really what it just is,

and then they go, we have all of Russia's resources. And then at the end of the day, they go, that was a fucking good deal. Good investment. Have we ever done that? Not successfully, but it doesn't mean it's not going to work this time. I mean, look at all the resources we have in Afghanistan now.

In Iraq. Oh, my God. All that great stuff we get. I think I'm taking a plane over to Ukraine. I'm just going to pick up someone's gun and be like, this is mine. You should go to Ukraine and do a set in that same subway where Bono was at. Hey, look, you know what? I see some of you are dying.

The best would be if Ryan does like a hat, does stand up. It's just at the end of it. It's just full. You're like, where do you guys have all this money from? His next special is in the subway called Laughter's the Best Medicine. You're right. I'm reading the player instead of the game. Show up, man.

I got to be, you know, when people are getting in line for the government money, I need to have like a mustache on. Exactly. I'm impressed, dude. You crane shirt. And then I need to find out how to get behind that. Elon Musk doing that take a 23andMe

find out if you at least have like just 1% like Eastern European like even if it's just like vague and then you can be like I need money

yeah I came from Canada Danny's Ukrainian he didn't find out how to get his hat under that fucking no that sucks Russian Ukrainian

the bad kind oh no yeah as of Battalion. They call you guys what? You're one of the Donbass boys. Yeah, Donbass boys. You're a day walker.

Day walker, correct. And a Jew. No, the way my parents say it is, we were Jews first and then Russians and then Ukrainians. And then your parents. Yeah. They're like, when they're there, though, they're like, there's a real hierarchy. And they're like, well, Russians. They're like, no, no, no. You're Jews. they're there though they're like there's a real hierarchy and they're like

you're they're like well russians are like no no you're jews you're not russians so are you like anything good or no i'm white i'm white if i lie that's something i can take a second quick break here to tell the fellas about sunday sunday sunday so maybe you have a lawn that's not The fella's about Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. So maybe you have a lawn that's not looking so hot. The season's coming around. The summer's coming around. You want to get this thing piping. You want to be, you know, if you're going to be sitting on the lawn yelling at the birds.

All the other dads in the neighborhood are just laughing at you. They're laughing at you. These guys fucking choke on the lawn. Not even a man. Not a man. Look at this Danny Pulisic. He's not even a man at you. They're laughing at you. This guy's fucking Joker's lawn. Not even a man. Not a man. Look at this Danny Pulisic. He's not even a man at all. He could be the fucking Alpha Chad dad. Alpha Chad dad. Of the neighborhood. With a nice man's lawn. So you want to

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We were kind of saying that yesterday when were talking about the elon musk thing because it was whether it's like a hypocrite for him to be like kind of this mr like libertarian guy but also getting all the subsidies but it was funny being like the people that give elon musk the space subsidies are not the same people that are the twitter arguments you know i mean yeah of course like those people that are giving elon musk his space his space government people probably hate the fucking other government people that are the Twitter argument you know I mean of course like those people that are giving Elon Musk his space his space government people yeah probably hate the fucking other government people that's two different groups of government also the subsidies

were there first well I mean I mean I know that's what I was sort of saying too it's like they were like hey if you make these cars please do this and there are these subsidies what's he supposed to be like no well but here's the thing I was good I told Ryan yesterday like Elon Musk is our space

program like we don't really there's no american space program anymore it's elon musk wasn't bezos doing it too well just because hey but at least bezos taking william shatner to near orbit that's not the same thing yeah we've took some guys that far too yeah we have elon Elon Musk and NASA, and NASA's useless now, but at least we're still paying for both. So that's great. That's the problem.

We're playing for both. Does NASA do nothing? Yeah. No, they do. They're basically like landlords. They rent out their landing pads to SpaceX. Yeah, exactly. They are.

But he managed to do the whole thing way cheaper than them too. No, no. He lost their budget budget and he was like he's reusing rockets they're just like yeah we just let him blow up fuck it we leave him up there fuck it yeah but yeah i don't know man i mean look everybody like you're right i think everybody gets subsidies and it's look we've criticized elon musk a lot but i've always said the same thing like but if he could make twitter like just fair i'm happy right like

all i want is to be able to joke around because like everyone goes all these political people getting kicked off the twitter and you're like i know people that got kicked off because they said a stupid fucking joke dude we have a buddy uh canada i was like pretty like like chris lock who's like you know he's not a political guy at all he's like very like you know fairly left-wing guy right really hilarious guy but he just did some joke where like i don't know he had a big twitter account and he's just like something about oh i'm gonna kill whatever and they're just banned him that's all that's why just a straight joke like obviously a joke non-inciting violence and they just banned him there's no recourse yeah you can't like the kill thing is now like even when you're joking you gave me a post you're

gonna kill yourself you start getting locked i think that might have been oh yeah no you can't i i got i i got a come on i got a 24-hour ban on facebook because one of my friends facebook i just with my family and one of you know one of my friends posted a picture and all i wrote joking was like ew girls that's it and then 24 hours for for harassment i'm like first choking and saying no but that's just because they're pussy crushers you know what i mean it was girls are gross oh girls are gross sorry girls are choking and saying No, but that's just because they're pussycrushers. Your exact quote was, girls are gross. Oh, girls are gross. Sorry. Girls are gross. That's all I said. Yeah, but that's Elon Musk's thing. He said, no gay shit on the platform.

Oh, yeah. He did say. It's only for the fellas to hang out on. I believe the exact quote was, miss me with that gay shit. He did. That's right. That was the official Twitter thing to you. That's immediately liked by Joe Rogan. One like, Joe Rogan.

That's you. You're like, ah, girls are icky. They go, fuck, it's a strike, but you want to come back? We'll be waiting for you. Elon Musk is going to show up at the Oscars wearing a no-ma'am shirt. It's just like, what up? Let's go oh man

that was the oh you know okay just to finish up that thing there was one more thing that I had one more interesting one

the happiness index see this is what I wouldn't have thought is that they said according to the latest Gallup share care well-being index

most residents said that they were happier with their lives and community in New York State than in Florida, but the difference wasn't that big. What's the lying to yourself index look like? Well, I was... This, to me, I felt like it was going back... I felt like, you're right, because they go, hey, we have have all these like, you know, depressed, non-binary, whatever, right? I believe the term you guys call it

is what, cope? Yes. Coping and receiving, I believe. Seething. Is it possible that the fucking unhappy wine moms are bringing up the Florida thing? Like think about,

I bet you your average like pill popping, like 60 year old like Christian mom that's like, you know, neurotic, hates her life. Like I bet you all them said pill popping like 60 year old like Christian mom that's like you know neurotic hates her life like I bet you all them said they're depressed maybe but okay

but if the other explanation but if everybody in Florida is so fucking sad then why do you New Yorkers keep moving to like this thing I don't get plus different

it's the same as Elon Musk thing it's different people well it could just be all the liberal people in Florida because it is a swing state so yeah

probably tons of liberals who are just swingers QS baby QS but it's probably just like all the liberals who are like this is hell on earth under desantis i want to kill myself they call him death santa exactly right because you know right right wing boomers get a lot of shit but left wing boomers don't get enough shit because let's we left the cnn boomers i do i give them yeah they're so cringe too upper west side cnn boomer yeah it's

the same people i I was saying this. When you see a group of six CNN ladies just like, ugh. They just think they're the most condescending people. You know what I mean? Somebody who's out there with a $10,000 scarf walking their designer dog or something. Yeah. CNN boomers really think they're better than you. And Fox boomers think that you're trying to ruin this country.

Of course, yes. Of course, at all times. And they're like, you don't know that I'm standing up for you. And it would be like, they go, you don't have the info that I have, and it was just the basic Fox News commercial. These colors don't run. I'm like, all right, man, shut up. I got to say, I also think the happiness factor,

it also depends on what time of day that this poll was taking place, because they might have just been waking Floridians up in Tampa the day after Gasparilla, like one in the afternoon. So you don't believe that at all. And they're like, how do you feel about your current life right now in its current state? And they were probably like, oh, my God. There's some sort of factor. All I'll say is if you took that poll and maybe smoothed it out over a 10-year period,

there's no way it comes up in New York. Well, because maybe it was during Trump. Everybody was like, oh. poll and maybe like smooth it out over a 10 year period there's no way it comes up well because because like maybe it was during trump everybody was like i was just thinking that like everyone in new york would say they're depressed i thought it'd be like depressing in new york was like well every girl said yes you know which is also harder to live in new york just like you know unless you're insanely wealthy yeah that's all your life's like way lower you're new york either if you're really rich or really poor but if you're anywhere in the middle, you're fucked in New York. But you think L.A. is the worst.

L.A. No, no, look. There's one thing that New Yorkers and Floridians should all agree on. That L.A. is the absolute worst. Dude, if I had to deal with all the stuff we're talking about, even the homeless guys. And then on top of that, after I was already annoyed annoyed with that uh homeless guy bubs me on the subway and then some girl wants to tell me about fucking like yoga and opening up your mind and shit like that yes that would really put me over the edge exactly like exactly you're like all right man come on so you're getting screamed that's like save the environment walking walking over shit and needles like you

look don't get me wrong i'm knocking on on actual shit. I'm fucking knocking on actual shit right now. How about fix that? And then, you know. There's shit everywhere. And then, well, I'm sure. Not human, though. Occasionally human. There's a lot of human shit, basically, over there.

And then they also have those open injection areas where it's like, oh, yeah, drugs are cool here. And you're like at a fucking little phone booth. Those little personal phone booths are everywhere. I've never seen that. Dude, I've had those in Vancouver for 20 years. Yeah, so. Somebody's fucking shooting heroin right next to the changing table. Dude, we've had those in Vancouver for 20 years. Yeah, so, somebody's fucking

shooting heroin right next to the changing table. There's like a nurse in the bathroom, you know, and you're like, jeez,

they only have it for those though. They don't, they need ones for like weed where it's just like a hot box booth in the middle of the thing

with a fucking boom box in it. I thought that was the whole city. Just tie dye on the thing. Yeah, they have like lava lamp.

Black light in there. Yeah. It's a... Lava lamp? Yeah, black light in there. Yeah. It's a safe bong zone. I'm going to the safe bong zone and smoke one real quick. It's like the reefer cube, like sponsored by Amazon. It would have to have some kind of corporate,

like Chase Bank gives you the reefer room. That's what they need to fight back. Like a city bike, but for fucking weed. They have a coke room. They just reefer room. That's what they need to fight back. Like a city bike, but for fucking weed. They have a coke room. They just have one room. Just shit for you to punch. It's just a Koala cure.

It's a Koala cure changing station and the bathroom is the coke room. JP Morgan Chase presents the coke cube. I'm just getting there. It's so dystopian. We're going to get to that too. Brought to you by Pfizer. The Coke box brought to you by Pfizer. It just feels like season three of Westworld, except everyone's fatter and uglier and more retarded.

You know what I mean? Like, that's all it is. Oh, man. We really got the bad future. We need to get the cool future. Elon's on it. Do you think most Florida people Are over Trump and DeSantis

Is the guy Is that like Is that overwhelmingly happening So check this out We were just talking about Because he did his We were just Earlier talking about

His Johnson and Johnson guy Bro Dude look He basically did the same thing As Stephen Colbert Yes dude It's hilarious Because a lot of people

Got sick with Trump For a lot of reasons Because it's like... What are the biggest things there? Well, he hired... He's all like, I'm draining the swamp. I'm draining the swamp. So then he hires one guy who's like John Bolton. You're like, that's not draining the swamp, sir. That's like a Bush

guy. And then he starts hiring these people around him. And the excuse is like, well, he doesn't know what he's doing. He's not whatever. But then it's like tech censorship was another one where he didn't give a shit about people getting kicked off of twitter till he was kicked off of twitter then it's like it's the worst thing that's ever happened in the history of the world but uh i think the other part with him is is like he you know most people are like man this vaccine mandate is bad and trump's like i helped create that i'm the genius behind that that's where he really got

on people's nerves during the during the second, he actually was trying to out authoritarian Joe Biden and was like, I'm going to have military flatbeds and I'm going to be having the vaccine available. And you're like, what the fuck? That's wild. All right, man, we're getting weird. And then he pardoned Julian Assange and Edward Snowden. Fuck those guys. But then he pardoned Kodak Black.

Come on, man. Oh, Lil Wayne gets to go out but Julian Assange is going to die in some prison somewhere. But I mean that. I mean, the problem with DeSantis

is that people are like, oh, I bet you want him to run. I go, no, honestly, I want him to finish his term in Florida. Maybe he could run in 2028 if he wants. Keep me in the Florida guy.

Because, dude, you know what you realize is like a state governor has more power than the federal government if you use it right. To actually do anything. Yeah, because that's the truth. Well, in America especially because the whole point is that every state has run like a different. Well, that's good. People were freaking out about the Roe v. Wade thing and I'm like, well, you know, the states.

Danny was. Danny was panicking. He goes, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. I just started my own abortion business. He just got a grant for it. God damn it, man. Danny's abortions and hoagies. Well, I had abortion coined.

It's tethered to the number of abortions. You're going to be ruined again. Again. Bad investments by Ryan. You should do a bad investment show. Oh, my God. I don't think I've ever made a good investment. Oh, there's already one of those, Jim Cramer.

Oh, woo! I hate him, dude. When I first started trading stuff, I used to listen to his thing, and I just kept losing money. And then every once in a while, lately, I'm checking in on this guy, and I go, I don't understand how he has a show. And a bunch of people have done the, hey, if you took all of his advice be broke he's wrong yeah he's but if you you can learn i hate it's crazy bear stern is a stronghold i mean like you can all he does is once a stock starts doing good

he goes that one right he's tells you it's the classic thing too is with uh when you're in a bull market everybody looks like a fucking genius right like everybody looks like a genius because they're all just like yeah buy something and then everything goes up so of course you look like you're smart and know what you're doing and then it's the it's you know it's when it's like now when it's the actual smart people kind of are it ain't him and fuck no no if you but also he's not telling you to like short stuff he just goes yeah buy it and he's the warren buffett thing he's just like yeah buy it and talk to me in 10 years. And you go, well, it's down 50% this week.

And he goes, talk to me in 10 years. I don't know. No, but then he tells you to sell it three months later. I know what he does. This is what he'll do. If you just learn to use him as a metric and just do the opposite of what he says, you'll actually learn to appreciate him. He will say things like, Netflix is a buy.

You're going to want to get in on this. And that's a selling signal. And then three months later, he'll be like, yeah, you're going to want to sell Netflix. You go, okay, well, it's down 30%. Maybe address the fact. Yeah, how about help me out that I was wrong. He's wrong about everything. Even with the Elon Musk thing, it's like there's no way.

Elon Musk is no way Elon Musk is going to let it go through. And then the next day, Elon Musk buys Twitter. And you're like, oh, so yeah, you don't know what you're talking about. I guess it's bad being in the prediction business. Well, the prediction business is not bad don't know what you're talking about. I guess it's bad being in the prediction business. That's why. Well, the predictions. Yeah. For the prediction business is not.

But he has wacky sound effects. He does have wacky sound effects. That's how he lures you in. At least the girl. Like when you go, when girls go to like a fortune teller, they say, I see change somewhere in the next 10 years. It's vague. You know what I mean? Like if Jim Cramer said like, you know, the tech sector, I feel like there's some good picks in there you know feel it out for yourself then you go i didn't mean that one he doesn't

even have any culpable deniability yeah that's right women when they go to a fortune teller they don't get it they don't have to short their chakra or whatever yeah they don't say like they don't fucking come out like uh i'm seeing a guy named bill thompson that fucking you're dating and they go i'm not dating bill th. They go, all right, well. Oh, fuck, man. Yeah, he ain't doing good. I'm surprised he doesn't do good. So Florida wins is what you're saying? Also, I want to throw in more championship teams recently.

For sure, more championship teams. But that makes sense because the tax thing, you guys have such an edge. Like with hockey. Better weather, better strip clubs, better drugs, better gun laws yeah we win that's all the things

yeah is there anything just entertainment's like the biggest one and then opportunity I will agree with that like if you in comedy and stuff

obviously Florida's not New York you know there is sort of I'll tell you what it's that's the only honestly it's the only thing that keeps me here

but there's also a mentality there is like a mentality of people a lot of you know and this isn't your average person but there is a mentality of a lot of people that like, really, I'm like, I could fucking take over the world. So there's more of a take over the world mentality.

And I think in a lot of other places, there's more of a like, yeah, I mean, you know, you got to get to, you want to make 200 grand a year, have a good life. Like, you know what I mean? But everything's more psychopaths. I wonder how long that's going to be because like New York isn't though. No, Austin's turning into that. Well, Austin is too. But New York isn't, though. No, Austin's turning into that. Well, Austin is, too. But New York isn't like the Sinatra song. You make it there, you can make it anywhere.

Everything's online now, right? Pretty much anything you could do, you could do it anywhere. Mr. Beast lives in Charlotte. Yeah, exactly. Red Letter Media guys live in Wisconsin. Yeah. Like, you know, everyone's all over the place. Well, I have a lot of beefs with it so I'm obviously just taking the side

I love Florida I am a Florida man in training Florida man in training he loved it Florida I honestly went there for the first time

and oh this is it you know what I have one question okay I have an article I want to go through but one thing okay this is like me being stupid

but every and maybe I don't know if you know this but like Bill Maher fucking every democrat like louis ck said this everyone was saying the problem with like uh republicans right now is they hate democracy like you've heard this right like they're against democracy but i'm like i for the life of me i'm like i can't figure out what that means it's a talking

is it just the election thing well it's not just the election thing because the election thing is part of it but like you, they've been using. What does that mean? Well, what they what they what they're trying to say is, is that like, for example, like they're using the Roe v. Wade thing. It's like Republicans hate democracy. But the Roe v. Wade thing, it's more democracy.

Every day, every state gets to vote on. Yeah. Wouldn't that be the argument for all of these? Yeah, exactly. When they're saying, oh, they disagree with this election. You're like, yeah. And you disagree with the other one. you both yeah that's the point hillary hillary didn't didn't believe hers either and stacy adams still thinks she's the governor

fucking yeah also not my president didn't end when trump left no exactly they just switched sides and then all these people are like that guy's not my that guy's not my president now it's the number one talking point like okay when they're like oh republicans are racist or whatever it's like i don't think i think it's stupid as like a generalization but i also like understand where that's coming from like i'm really don't get what that means when they're like they hate democracy i mean i think it's just a talking point i really think it's too and they've all picked it up basically bill maher's not stupid it's the left wing's version of you hate our troops. Like every time a Republican was like, oh, we got to go bomb Syrian kids.

And we're like, well, maybe we don't need to do that. Oh, because you fucking hate our troops? You want to be fighting them over here instead of fighting them over there. And you're like, no, I actually like our troops. I'd like them to not step on a fucking landmine. You know what I mean? For no reason.

Just so that we can get our... Is it January 6th? January 6th might be the reason. Is that the reason? Just because they were trying to... Yeah, we hate democracy, even though most 99% of people on the right wing were like, yeah, don't go to that. Yeah, we said that when the January 6th thing happened. And then a couple hundred people showed up and they're like,

that's all Republicans. I mean, I'm sure most people who went there, too, stayed outside. We're FBI agents. Yeah, that too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, for like three or four months, all we said The people who went there, too, stayed outside. Were FBI agents. Yeah, that, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's that? That's what it is, man. Dude, for like three or four months, all we said every day was like, don't go to that. If you're a fan of our show, don't go to that.

Take a weekend. But I think a lot of people stayed outside. Go to the beach, go to a barbecue. Most people did. The majority did. Most people were going to go, yeah, it's probably not a good idea that we go in the Capitol. But they made it seem like they burned the Capitol down and installed a new president. Like, that's not what happened.

But I think that's probably part of it. But it's just like to think about it. Every election has a catchphrase, right, that you use against the other side. Like, so this one is like, oh, Republicans hate democracy. Republicans hate. Nobody hates democracy, right? I think it's like the most democratic country in the world, arguably. Yeah.

Anarchists don't even because I talked to a lot of anarchists that are like, yeah, but I want anarchy through big government. I'm like, all right, do you know what anarchy is, bro? You don't even, because I talk to a lot of anarchists that are like, yeah, but I want anarchy through big government. I'm like, all right, do you know what anarchy is, bro? Do you even know what that is? That's what I got. Leftists just call every right-winger a Nazi, and then every right-winger calls every leftist a pedophile. And then we go round and round.

And there you go. And there you have Twitter. It's called Twitter. I'm only on Truth Social right now. Oh, nice, nice. It's about Rumble It is Speaking of being surrounded by FBI agents

Going to Truth Social I ain't going to that fucking site That whole site's a honeypot and I feel it Yeah dude that whole site Truth Social's a honeypot Ray Epps The real Ray Epps 1776 ain't gonna get me on there Fuck you Bro The real Ray Epps, 1776, they're going to get me on there.

Fuck you, bro. That is with the handles. I'm just getting DMs every day. We need to fucking do something. I don't want to do anything. You want to blow up a federal building, kid? I don't want to do anything. I came over here because Trump said it was cool. Who knows where I can get some ammonium nitrate in bulk?

I'm not going to join Boomer Gab, but no thank you. It's such a honeypot. It is. It's also the worst app. It's terrible. Don't tread on me, underscore freedom 55. Does anybody know where I can get fertilizer in a watch battery? I don't want to know. It's a honeypot. watch battery. I don't want to know. America first guy

88 wants to know where to get fertilizer. Based Groiper 1488 is hitting me up asking me where's dude where's the hotel which hotel we all hang out.

I'm going to need names and phone numbers. Why did you end up in the pen? I joined Truth Social. Sorry. I just wanted to see Donald Trump tweeting again, man. I really thought it was just the fucking guys there. But it wasn't.

I thought it was just my fellow mega, man. Hello, fellow megas. You know when you tweet, it says, where are the tweets from? All of them are from Langley 90 of the accounts have one ip address wow all our users are in one office building in virginia that's so weird i'm not going on there you fucking nuts i don't trust that for a second it's also not good no it's even besides that it's also not good no it's even besides that it's just not good so i got one more thing that i decided to do because of the three of

you sure it's a vice article because vice might be in uh uh going down again selling off all the parts again i did a video about it this is not gonna save them again well this one they're uh selling a water cooler now they're selling off all the parts and stuff like that. So it might become like some of the parts become, you know, munchies might become a property of fucking, I don't know, something. They should sell those cool vice rings that they all have. Have you seen that? That's why they should raise capital by selling the vice rings.

But they did this article that talking about the stigma that we were talking about before. Why doesn't the porn industry accept big, handsome men? So if you guys, if the three of you are thinking about getting into porn. I told you it was our time now, boys. No one listen to me. Let's go. I mean, it's the Victoria's Secret. They are.

It's coming. Because most consumers of porn are men that aren't tall. Is this really a question they're asking? And by the way, is there still a porn market there's people paying for pornography no no no there's only but there should be this guy yeah so what do you think what do you think the most profitable uh what are they called bhms there's actually a whole they actually did a whole list of all the names that they call themselves so this guy he's a guy first of all they're all they start with gay porn obviously and then they're like but why should i have to be relegated to gay porn?

That's a good point. By the way, that's pretty crazy that there's so many guys who are like, yeah, I'm totally straight in porn. They go, I do gay porn because I just need the money. You go, I mean, I need money too, but Christ. But damn, they go, no, but they're so identified as a real pornography performer where they go, yeah, that's part of the deal. It's like playing a gay guy in the acting or something.

Yeah. But there's probably a difference between taking it and getting it. I could see the gay guy that's just such a performer. He's like, I'll get head. But there's a big difference between you're getting fucking... It's best actor or best supporting actor, I think, is the answer. That's the difference. Between the top and the bottom.

It really is going to change how respected you are at the industry. Yeah, like if you're just like a bottom, but you're really the straightest guy, but on film, that guy's like, this is fucking Daniel Day-Lewis. Yeah, you're just like, why don't we switch? Because he's actually gay. I like the challenge. This guy's a literal sloppy party bottom. I feel he'll do better. This guy's name is Vinny O'Neal.

He said he saw himself becoming a porn performer. He watched a lot of porn. He never saw himself. He watched a lot of porn, but he never pictured himself as the male talent. I've always assumed that I don't have the right body or penis for this, so he's got a small dick. Wait, or penis? Hold on. This isn't even a fat... Hold on. This is fucked up.

This isn't even a fat guy thing. This is also he has a small penis. Those things aren't mutually exclusive. He's just a guy. Yeah. Dude, I was thinking Canada is going to be pretty soon being like government grants for porn probably to make more inclusive porn. Like they're going to be creating this bullshit with some fund. I like a bunch of points with Somali immigrants.

That sounds fun for me. Yes. That Somali immigrant With a fucking tiny dick They convert that whole Like refugee hotel In Toronto Into just a giant Porn studio

What is it Toronto Radisson East or West Yeah the Radisson East Yeah that's just The whole porn studio now It's a shanty town Porn studio

No literally And they said Because that's the image That the mainstream projects All the male talent Are fit with large penises I have no idea. What about Ron Jeremy?

Hold on, hold on. His grandfather didn't, though. Oh, that's true. That's a good point, though, because he's the most famous porn star of all time. But he didn't start as fat. He just went off fat. Well, this guy's like a girl. He thinks he should have everything handed to him. Like, why am I

not a famous porn star? Well, you want everything handed to you, and you want to do porn, just become trans. To kill two birds with one stone. Yeah, that's true. He says there's the counterpart. BBW is being pretty fun, but extra large men aren't appreciated for the fans

for their girth above the belt. This guy's got a good rap. You know what I mean? Like he can tell you he really gets chicks. He's sort of tickets. It's what the he basically took the thing

from the girls were doing and he's trying to sell it. You know, body positivity. Vice is a new site. I love this. It's great stuff. Yeah. Big handsome men.

So this is what they're called. That's what I'm getting called myself from now on. You better fucking believe it. BHM boys. Go with a big handsome man. So they're called. That's what I'm getting called myself from now on. You better fucking believe it. BHM boys. Yo, where the big handsome men at? So they're the straight side of bears and chubs because chubs and bears imply you're gay,

but a BHM is not your straight. So if someone calls you a bear, you go, what the fuck do you call me? Oh, hey, excuse me. I ain't no bear. I'm a BHM. Two categories of talent that exist within the gay porn world. In the past, BHM.

So this is the ones that they have for all of them. They say supersize. So if you go supersize, you put that on your profile. Okay. Teen BHM. No. We aged out. We aged out.

We can't be in that. Do you think that you could shave off the white of the beard and be a teen BHM? Teen BHM? That's so funny. You look like a teen in Degrassi when they're all 30. Isn't that so funny, though? Being a guy that's like, you're looking up. You're basically like some 50-year-old man.

You're just looking up teen guys. What about a fat teen gay? Very niche. No, but this means not gay, though, right? Well, this guy thinks it should be mainstream. Why are fat teen porn gay men? So you're basically like a fat little meatball 19 year old.

Why can't you be famous? All the porn stars look like Andy Milonakis. The penguin. Yes. Okay, so that's one. Polar bear. So a polar bear is a little thinner than an actual bear they said. I thought that would just be an albino. I think Danny's like a polar bear and you're an actual bear. Yeah, you're a polar bear for sure.

I'll take it. Yeah. Polar bear is way better than B.H.M. I don't like the acronym. You don't like B.H.M. That sort of rubbed you the wrong way. I don't like B.H.M. I don't like being described in acronyms because they're almost always being used to insult you.

Handsome is the way that your mom describes you you know what i mean you're so handsome yeah i prefer or you could put down a woman by calling her handsome yeah what a handsome woman yeah yeah you're a handsome female swimmer chubbies gainers so that's what what are those we're gainers gainers is because you're gaining weight i guess oh okay so it's like oh like women are feeders feeders women Gainers is because you're gaining weight, I guess. Oh, okay. So women are called feeders. Feeders have men, too. Sakamiko, who you're doing his thing tomorrow, he said that he would get messages from people being like,

yo, I'll pay you to watch you eat. Oh, God. And people are serious about that. People are really into that shit. That's a wild one. Yeah. Wait, people can pay me to eat? Yeah, there's people like, Do you have to eat like...

Do you get to choose? Yeah, can it be at a fancy restaurant and you're sitting at a different table? Eating at Peter Luger's. Y'all get two sticks, please. Thank you. They do realize there's like food challenge YouTube videos.

Like this entire channel. Right. Like this entire channel is dedicated to that. Yeah, exactly. Jerking off to epic mealtime. Yeah, really. They already make this.

It's free. I think they need you to be your shirt's gotta be off and stuff like that. Oh, okay, okay. Belly builders, feeders, foodies and gluttons.

So that's, they're trying to make foodies a porn category too. What's foodies? He says, in the past, BHMs and large men and porn in general have often been the butt of the joke porn category too what's foodies he says in the past bhms and large men in porn in general have often been the butt of the joke kind of what's happening right now right of

course the gimmick is uh the minions gimmick is letting beautiful women smear food all over him in search of uh tube sites for fat men and variants and they so a lot of them is all so the only fat guys have been getting into the game is like you'd get in there and they take your stuff off and a bunch of girls are going to buy you. Oh, okay. All right. They'd buy you. Right, right.

So they just smear me with food. This is a humiliation. But it's women. That's not bad. But I think- It's not that bad. Also, there is this element- Hold on.

Do I get to pick the food? Hold on. It's a question though. Right. Do I get to pick the food? Is it lemon meringue all the time or can I say it, Jerry? I don't want to be smeared with ghost peppers. You know what I mean?

Well, I imagine there's sex afterwards so they can't get to. No, that's a good point. No, that guy they tie up and he watches the sex. He watches.

In the corner of that St. Peter Luger's where you're eating your two steaks. That guy comes and finishes your steak and fucks the girl. Yeah, there's definitely

sex later with the producer. And not by choice in many cases. In a fucking bottle section of a VIP club. The funniest part is this guy being like, you know, there's nothing gay about it. You go, like, there's one fucking straight woman watching him porn him, 400 pound man getting a pie thrown at him.

It's not gay, bro. It's just a room full of dudes watching you get humiliated by a five. What is he doing? They're talking to me. They go, this is actually for straight people. I'm like, okay. What if you're in like clown college

and you're just trying to learn how to properly throw a pie? And it's the only place you know to find those videos. Look, I'm doing this to pay my way through clown college. Look, I can't learn fromusty the Clown. That's a cartoon. I gotta watch somebody see how the wrist balances the pie. Oh, fuck. Well, there's one more really

funny thing he says. Other than a lack of mainstream recognition, he said his biggest challenge as a 6 foot 4 inch tall 450 pound performer is the sturdiness on set. Namely, he's had problems breaking the bed when a scene gets really intense like a bed frame

smash the bed you should be fucking I mean that girl's not light either oh that's what vice leaves out they don't tell you

they don't want to insult the woman they don't want to insult the woman so they just leave that to you to figure out but yeah she's his weight

now it's Ashley home furniture store's fault right like fucking maybe you should be banging maybe banging people in a fucking WWE ring. That way it's nice and sturdy. He was trying to work the Murphy bad. It breaks the floor and just starts spinning around. But this is what we were telling you,

what we were saying earlier, where it's like the girls have been more successful at being like, you should like this. And some guys are like, yeah, I mean, there's like the girls have been more successful at being like you should like this and some guys are like yeah I mean there's like some creep for everything so then they can be like

look there's actually a market but you're like no dudes are just fucking creepy perverts that's the problem if there's no girl version of that where you go

hey ladies you should like a 500 pound guy getting fucking pies thrown on him and they're like we don't yeah sorry

I thought we were going to a nice like martini bar and just you were gonna pay for my shit Kevin Samuels would need to give this guy a talking to may he rest in peace rest in power rest in power bro rest in power there is some pretty good memes of that

stuff where it's like Kevin Samuels and heaven realizing it's all fuck gross bitches you know who's that who's that way too Sotomayor have you seen him stuff where it's like Kevin Samuels and heaven realizing it's all fat gross bitches. You know who's that way too? Sotomayor. Have you seen him? Tommy Sotomayor. I thought you meant like Supreme Court.

Tommy Sotomayor is kind of the same thing. He's now the spiritual successor. Did you see the Oprah Tate thing? Tommy Sotomayor is the kind of guy basically if we're going to have a peaceful transition of power now with the power vacuum and Kevin Samuels wake then Tommy Sotomayor is the kind of guy, basically, if we're going to have a peaceful transition of power now with the power vacuum and Kevin Samuels wake, then Tommy Sotomayor is the obvious one. Is he black? Yeah, he's a black guy who does the same thing.

He's like Stannis Barathe. Samuels got popular. There's probably a few of them. He's like Stannis Barathe, and he's like the true rightful king. You know what I mean? What's his thing? Same deal? Same thing.

He tells women. He's a little more hood. He was on the Fresh and Fit podcast. I don't... Oh, wait. Is he light skin? No, he's dark skin. He was on the Fresh and Fit podcast and there was like... The Fresh and Fit podcast is just them

with a bunch of different strippers and dudes. I don't know how they get the girls to keep coming back. Money. Oh, they pay them? Yeah, they're whores. That's not even a joke some of them are literally hookers oh so they'll give we'll give you a hundred bucks if you come and let this guy berate you yeah i mean if you make enough money why not but then realize that

some guys are getting fucking pied in the face by some 400 pound check yeah i'm telling you market for everything yeah women will do anything for 200 bucks and some instagram followers i was honestly thinking that i was like how do these guys keep getting women to call in and be like, I'm going to give Kevin Samuels a piece of my mind. Well, because in their own heads, when they're having the argument with the shampoo bottles, they're like, oh, I would tell him this, and I would tell him to go fuck himself.

But you're like, no, you're not. I ain't fucking no Kevin Samuels. I actually am shit. Maybe you ain't so great, Kevin Samuels. Exactly. There's a new guy that's really popping off on TikTok. The bald guy, Cobra Tate?

You just got arrested for sex trafficking. Cobra Tate got it. So his whole thing was he's like, yeah, I went to Romania because they have like the laxest sex trafficking laws or whatever. They love prostitutes. So no, because he started doing- That's a terrible way to start a conversation. No, it's crazy because he was talking about this. He started coming up in my feed too, so I guess.

And then he was talking about this and I'm like, he's like really admitting borderline to some crimes here. He's like, I had all these girls that I was dating and he's like, I had five girlfriends. I flew them all to Romania. That's the guy. Right? Yeah. And he goes, we're doing fucking camming and all this sex.

He's like, three of them left, two of them stayed, and that's why I made all my money. And then literally last week, he got arrested for fucking sex trafficking in Romania. You know, we probably would have got away with it if he wasn't fucking bragging about it, too. But that's what I'm saying. He made it his brand of like, this is all the shit I do. He's like, I'm blah, blah. I make all this money. I'm this rich dude.

He's a pimp. Yeah, he's a pimp. Yeah, he's a pimp. Well, there's a lot of dudes like that. And he was like, I could be a pimp in Romania. That is the attitude of a pimp. His attitude is a pimp. He's the most garbage person ever.

He's the worst. But he got literally last week arrested. There's a whole genre, though. There's another guy named David Bond that we cover. It's not his real name, obviously. But he's one of those crypto bros who travels to countries

and always with these hot chicks. But they're clearly hookers he travels the place that right but he lies he doesn't say they're hookers and he makes dudes think that like you could achieve these hot women too if you you know read my motivational book and i'm like dude these are clearly motivation yeah exactly and he gets these like airbnbs but in like honduras where it's like 300 a night but but it looks like a fucking palace. You know what I mean? And he's like, you too can have this life. It's like, well, yeah, if I have like enough Bitcoin cash and I'm going to Honduras, I

guess. But, you know, normal guys aren't going to go to third world nations and take advantage of the power dynamic. You know what I mean? Because that's what they're doing. You're going there and you're like, oh, who wants a US dollar? Like, it's basically rape. It's like financial exploitation.

But the fact is, he's like, yeah, I moved to Romania for these lacrosse. And then still got arrested. So you're like, you must have done some fucking shit. How bad must it have been? Yeah. Did he have an entire webcam compound like Sons of Anarchy? Yeah, I don't know. He did something crazy.

In Romania, it's fine as long as you let him out of the container on the container once a day let him have one cigarette let him have one cigarette and get right back in the container one cigarette and a can of tuna now back in the container ship with you so yeah that guy because that guy i think he went on sagura's book he did go on oh really yeah he was okay all those guys would be like sick to have a podcast. No, they would. You got to admit. First of all, you go, he's going to say 12 things that are going to go viral. The hot takes that they have are like, I don't think women should be allowed out of the house. They just wait real hot takes.

Every man should be able to have 12 wives minimum, and that's just Tuesday. And then he's also got all these nice cars. A Rolex. Yeah, exactly. All the stuff. How's that guy rich just from from this pimp and stuff that's he said that's how he made his money it was being from basically being like a cam girl like pimp i guess oh he's a cam girl or maybe real i don't know he i mean he obviously crossed by the way i'm really glad we have cam girl pimps because it's so hard for women to just go let me turn my webcam on. Honest to God. Do we really need a middleman for webcam people now?

Literally IT guy. I know, exactly. You're just an IT guy. No, but I think what happens is you probably have some place where you have like cubicles essentially. Yeah, for sure.

Oh, 100%. They've got, you know, 80 girls lined up as cubicles and he goes, you fucking masturbate? Yeah. You know, these girls got out of,

like got into this lifestyle to not have a cubicle job only to have a fucking cubicle job. They're both standing around with their tops off around the water cooler talking about the big game. Hey, you watch that game now? Yeah, it was great.

Becky, do me a favor. You're checking your Facebook a little bit too much, okay? I mean, we got to stay on the clock here. Yeah, just look at your progress reports. That dildo only went 80% in. Just like to see it at 90 next time. Nothing, just look at your progress reports. That dildo only went 80% in. Just like to see it at 90% next time. Nothing, you know, no big deal. Just

thought we'd have a little chat, but if we could get that up to 90% in, we'll chat again next week. And make sure when you squirt, you put a mat down. I'm really sick of cleaning it. Thank you. Listen, Heather, you were late twice this quarter, and you know, third time. Yeah, HR, so I'm just letting you know. You gotta have have those periods because we put you on.

We put you on. We do check the times on the key fobs to make sure you're coming in on time. And yeah, the Homer Simpson was like, hey, are you guys working hard? Mind working harder? Hey, everyone. Masturbating. Yeah. Think you'd flick the bean a little harder?

Sure, boss. Sure, boss. Let's go. Turn the setting up on the Hitachi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then all you hear is the cartoon music. This place is great. There's that banner from Office Space.

Ask yourself what you can do for the company. Just hanging on the wall. And one of the girls does like a flinch tilt. It's a living. Listen, ladies, Friday is casual Friday. So if you want to flick your bean in a flint still it's a living listen ladies Friday is casual Friday so if you want to flick your bean in a Hawaiian shirt that's great

feel free you know the deal there's one girl doing like a asphyxiation thing with a hang in there sign a fucking Cathy cartoon fuck

oh god respect alright we're gonna wrap this up tell everyone where to find you and shit uh YouTube

Revenge of the Cis patreon.com says we're not sorry I mean you already signed up for there so I mean you know what I mean now you're on the site and running over on your card anyway so come on over to us anyway

yeah that's up yeah and then we do our own shows Day Wave and Night Wave yeah I've known you guys stream more I guess there's probably other people

but like the 20 hours of streaming a day would fucking... I don't even know how you do it. You guys are very online. That's why anytime anyone gets mad at people that stream for 40 hours a day, they're like hey, these guys are saying offensive stuff. I'm like, if I was doing this, I'd be like

if I was streaming 20 hours a day by week three, I'd be like, Edward. I got nothing hours a day by week three i'd be like edward i got nothing i got nothing i gotta say you're going how could you not start a fight with everyone you guys by by hour 30 he's really mind kumpf on the air i need a content man i don't know bro do you think i wanted to do this you may be doing this for historical reference either Have you guys been doxxed recently? No, not at all. All the time. 24 hours a day. Yeah, all the time. They have a 24-hour arm to guard.

I have an AK now, so I'm not really worried about it. Florida. Florida, baby. We're on security. Anytime a streamer is trying to start a fight with you, it's like, they are filling four hours of content a day, and if you have shit to do, they do not. Oh, cool. The thank you for the first hour of my show yeah yeah yeah so anyways okay uh fellas

this is hopefully i'll see some of you in san diego this weekend and anything else to promote low value mail podcast ryanlongstore.com peace