The Boyscast with Ryan Long - No Fun Only Activism

Episode Date: July 14, 2020

People think that you shouldnt celebrate 4th of july, play cards against humanity, and basically anything else. Be mad all day. you live to serve. HELLOOO patreon.com/theboyscast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And you can tell our friends, and they can have my things when we're dead But we gonna live forever, but we gonna live forever And you can tell our friends, and they can have my things when we're dead But we gonna live forever, but there's this dude. His name's Robbie Tripp, and he's a body positivity music video director. And he posted this picture of his fat wife. And the whole thing goes, I love my girlfriend. I love my fat girlfriend.

And I love my girlfriend. I love my fat girlfriend. And I love her roles. And I know how much the media makes, you know, you think that girls should be skinny. And I was teased for this. And everyone was wrong. And my wife is beautiful. And she's 800 pounds. And she's morbidly obese. And you guys are whatever it is, right?

It's this whole thing. Just so you know, I'm on the right side of this. It's this whole thing, just so you know, I'm on the right side of this. And then essentially every girl in the comment threads was like, I would kill myself. I would jump off the Brooklyn Bridge if I had to wake up in the morning, scroll through my Facebook like, oh, look, my boyfriend posted a photo of us together with a loving caption. Let me see what that says. I my fat bitch wife is so is so amazing. I love the fact that she can't fit through doors.

I love the fact that I can't finish my meals. And I love the fact that I'm halfway through my meal and I take a bathroom break and I go, oh, did the waiter come and take my plate? And she says, no, I ate your meal and I hate the plate. So we should go to the hospital come and take my plate and she says no I ate your meal and I hate the plate so we should go to the hospital because I got a plate in my body and so this guy just got beat up and then because he's trying to play the whole game of you know trying to get points he literally when he wrote this he's like I'm gonna be a fucking hero they are gonna carry me above their heads and obviously they're not gonna carry my wife above their heads because that would not be uh possible A little something called a gravity.

So he thought he was going to be here for this post. And every girl and even like the blogs were like, dude, stop hijacking body pods. He got beat up from all around. Can you imagine from the other way around your, your girlfriend trying to be something, is shamed on men and she posts like, I think that your society is wrong. I love my boyfriend's tiny micro penis. I love the way it looks. I love the way that it just flosses my teeth when we're having sex. So that's a benefit for me i have sex with him after i eat after i have some spinach i give him head and you guys are wrong i would be mortified if a girl posted anything you know i love the fact that my boyfriend has a terrible job with no money you guys the society likes to well shame men and say that if they have a bad job that they're nothing and my boyfriend is a hero for only making $22,000 a year as a part-time garbage picker not a garbage man that's actually a good union job he's not a garbage man what he has is a job as a garbage boy where he picks up garbage outside the local the local cat sanctuary when people go to look at cats at the sanctuary

and they leave their garbage around and he picks it up. I've also loved how on the internet right now, it is essentially a game of chicken for who can stop posting about Black Lives Matter first. I've watched so many people that have never posted about Black Lives Matter in their life. And they went from zero posts a day to every post a day. That's all they post about. And all of it's so funny because a lot of it's stuff that you should do. So Instagram posts is just a list of places that you could donate. And Instagram posts, it's a list of posts that you can do to make black people feel better. A list of places that you can be an activist, how you can help, numbers you can call,

Congress people you can call. Here's where you can call your mayor to complain. And then most importantly, all the posts that said, just so you know, the Black Lives Matter movement, woke stuff, feminism, all of this. These are things that are for eternity. I don't want to see any of you guys stop posting in a week. This is for eternity. And then so now that it's been two weeks and they're kind of they've gone so hard on it, they're like I and by the way, I know that I did say that I did see people back out. They kind

of said, you know, I'm done, you know, like a game of cards. They fold. Everyone's looking at each other like who's going to fold. And someone posted their, you know, I'm done, you know, like a game of cards. They fold. Everyone's looking at each other, like who's going to fold. And someone posted their, you know, banana bed recipes and they're like, all right, I fold. You know what? All right. If I'm not a hero, I'm not a hero, but I'm watching a lot of people, you know, maybe it was 20 posts a day before, maybe it was 15. And now they're down to like, you know, three posts a day. They're like, you know, still doing it. Just, yep. yep listen i understand still the most important thing in the world but now you know when so are they do they post that for the rest of their lives or do you kind of settle into a like once a week post just just all so you don't have to look at like a hypocrite from the one week where you pretended to care and the one week where

you said this is my entire identity and the one week that you said, this is my entire identity. And the one week that you said, if anyone else stops posting about this, I'm watching you. And now you are in a game of chicken. You're watching your friends post. You're watching the stories. You're like, everyone's still looking at me. At this point, you just have to delete your Instagram account. You just go offline. You live in a cave.

And you say, listen, it was an experiment. I tried it. I lost. I am no longer on the internet. That is the only place. The amount of cancelers that have been getting canceled, I feel like I'm, you know, I've been getting pretty good with predicting stuff

with my viral videos, but I did a video, absolve yourself by canceling others. Did very well. You know, hundreds of thousands of views, whatever. Appreciate everyone sharing and posting all that stuff and then that week seth seth simons which i'm i'm sure this has been covered to death so i won't talk about it but seth simons the ultimate cancelers canceling legion skanks the one who broke the shell shane gillis sign so he he he basically i was at a party i was at a fourth of july party with like

six or seven comedians, three of which have had national scandals that Seth Simons tried to cancel. So I was loving the idea of saying at roast battles, which I'll talk about in a second, but I did the roast battle, and I introduced myself as, you can call me, I'm Ryan Long, but you can call me the pesticide sex pest. Some girls call him a sex pest. And in his world, you know,

where you gotta believe everything everyone says. If there's anyone else you could say, yeah, I mean, we're all probably been a sex pest, whatever the fuck that means. But there is a certain type of, you know, woke pretender on your side that is way creepier than just like, you know, your standard average guy like trying to get pussy and he may be like,

she said no and he's like, come on. And it's like, no, then, so you've been a pest everyone's been a pest girls i've dated have been a pest to me and vice versa i have people on the internet that are girls that are pests to me so listen it's it's just it's justice it's hilarious and the more of these you know they're just pests in general they're canceled pests and the fact that they're getting out of this sex pest is just so fucking funny. So everyone had a field day. It was a win for the boys. There's a boy out there who's dedicated his life to canceling boys.

And that guy, he's not a boy. He's a woman. He's not only for the boys. I don't consider him a boy. And I'll be the judge of who's a boy or not. So my friend Johnny, who actually makes the merch for the boys cast, and he films a lot of my videos, he made, sex pistol shirts that just say the sex pestles. So everyone's been having fun with it. And you take your little wins when you can get it. I'm

sure he's going to be back canceling full force bass nectar. Another guy, big DJ. This is the same week he posted this entire thing. So he's like, you know, he he's basically this DJ. He's got these cults he's got does this retweets and they call him like the god of the movement and they've got this whole thing he's he's mr woke you know he's always posting how we need to be doing better as djs some other guy had some things posted a huge status being like this listen these guys uh we need to we need people to step back, examine their privilege. These people are a drain on the community because what they've done.

And, you know, whatever, whether it was a comment or a thing or whatever, you know, he posted a big thing just saying, these guys are bad and your kid over here is good. Base nectar is that sweet nectar of the right opinions. That's the nectar that you get from my base. It goes, but really it's saying, men are bad. Trump is bad. That's the resonation. His music speaks at a pulse

of the right opinions. And this guy, the next day, the next day, literally, gets accused as fucking, you know, basically he's running these occult djs he's

just running running through pussy he's fucking his fans and stuff like that or whatever i don't know the entire story but um from the sounds of it he's your standard dj that and just based on his apologies like yes i've been having relationships with my fans but that's only so i could spread the nectar of right opinions into their vagina. I don't know if you know that, but the woke community has actually decided that nectar of the right opinions spreads fastest through the vagina. It's true because how it works is it's a blood flow thing. So when it goes to the vagina, there are pheromones and hormones that come together to shoot that up to your brain.

If you just put it in the mouth, listen, if you put the sweet nectar from the penis into the mouth, it does help, but it's best if it goes in the vagina. So he's doing his part to spread the opinions the right way, the 2020 way, being a DJ, fucking it into these young girls. And you got to get them when they're young too. That's a part of being woke. You got to get the girls when they're like 20

because that's when the nectar works the best in giving them the right opinions. So the next day he gets accused and then posts a big thing saying, you know, I just have to say that I'm stepping back from my position of power and privilege. He said he's spending his entire, he goes, I will be spending this summer examining my white privilege. summer examining my white privilege. So the first thing is the, so the first part is that so fucking funny is the fact that on his Instagram, no word of a lie, these posts are back to back. You, the first post says, you guys are all creeps. I'm the only good one. And then the next post says, I have to apologize for my behavior. I mean, it is hilarious. And again, listen, I know what's going on out there. I know there's people canceling right and left. I'll probably, you know, I've experienced people bad to me. I mean, one of the things that I have

working for me is that I've made television shows and stuff like that. So, you know, these people are more opportunist than they are actually care about their opinions. So a lot of times people have all been nice to me. Plus, I'm nice to people in real life. I'm always a very nice person. So I've never developed a ton of enemies in the real world. But it's coming. They tried to cancel Danny Polishuk.

He's my main dude. JJ's been canceled. Two of my best friends. Three, four, five. I can name a ton of my comic friends that have all been canceled Danny Polachuk did a free speech comedy show and basically you know all these Antifa people in comics they all wrote all these blogs they said he's a Nazi they boycotted the show they came they had to get security then they can't send messages to the venue and it literally was a show with me him a gay dude yeah Danny's's gay guy uh no jj's a gay guy but um and then uh

amis patel you know brown people ernie vicente a woman even was on the show and they're like these sexes right can you believe the type of racist that supports free speech jj lieberman you know one of the most hilarious guys in canada he i do fucking comics podcasts with me what happened to him he won best comic of the year uh Glenn Sumi, they do this big best comic for the big magazine. The wokes fucking went crazy. They go, he's an abuser. And you know, and then what they meant was an abuser. They're like, he's verbally abusive at shows. I go, yeah, he's like a piece of shit. He walks around being like, you fucking look at this piece of shit. You a pussy. He's just that dude. He's, he's this old school frigging guy or whatever. He plays to play baseball and he doesn't know how to talk to women. So to men, he does this to

men and then he tones it down a bit for women and then they go crazy. So they tried to cancel him. So listen, I know this ain't going anywhere anytime soon, but you got to take the wins where you get them back to back posts saying saying that the DJ community's got a problem, waking up the next morning to immediately starting writing your apology. I have an idea for a new video. I don't think it's going to be next week, but a woke scold for hire. So, you know, everyone knows that when you, when you, you know, a lot of people, they watch TV shows that tell them they're bad. They read articles that tell them they're bad. They listen to musicians that tell them they're the problem.

But that's not enough. You know, what's Stephen Colbert telling you you're bad for? An hour, two hours a day? You can call me for $50 an hour, and I will tell you that you're a piece of shit. For an extra $10, I'll give you the full transphobia package where I call you a transphobe. I go, does your girlfriend even have a dick? You are a piece of shit. That will be $55.99.

It's even good for presents. You can give your mom that present. Hi, Mrs. Anderson. Yeah, I'm calling from your daughter actually bought me this present for you. I'm calling from wokeschool.com. Start for you. I'm calling from Wokeskull.com. Start the timer. That starts right now. Enjoy your present.

Listen, you racist bitch. So things like that. I don't have the entire video worked out, but you get the gist of it. I think that's something that's going to be coming in the future. Now, like I said, I went to this party, 4th of July, my first America Day. Happy America Day in my new country. like I said, I went to this party, uh, 4th of July, my first America day, happy America day in my new country, which by the way, I'm about to go full Aaron Berg, American Canadian Patriot. Cause the thing is, I really do, uh, have had a good time here. I feel like it really is still

one of the, you know, the countries where you, you can build wealth fast, probably not as much as before, but you can develop an audience. You can say what you want to say. I mean, you get to be honest and there's a lot of people that are still saying what they want to say and you can't do that in a lot of countries. They don't have free speech in Canada. So, and you don't have, you know, the population or the cultural reach to necessitate it, even if you did. So I, I have enjoyed my time here, despite the fact that I came here to start doing comedy and they shut down comedy clubs and locked me into my house like a Hobbit. But I had a, so with the America day stuff, I was even having

this conversation with someone else about America. And I go, you know, it's just been awesome. I came here. It's like kind of the things I wanted to do were, were working. I feel like I'm kind of getting, even though I've had this big career and made some money, I've, I've not had, you know, in a lot of ways, you know, I felt like recognized the way that I've, you know, felt and that's been happening and it's been cool, you know? So I was kind of saying that America is still one of the countries she goes, well, there's this. And she goes, well, there's people that have this problem. There's people have this problem. And I go, yeah, but compared to what? And she's like, well, it could be better. I go, well, yeah, but compared to what other country? So it's compared to, you know, it's compared to

this utopian that doesn't exist. Now I will say on the other side of it, there probably is a little bit of America where it says they go, listen, if you can, if you're great here, you can really do it. If you don't want to be lazy, if you want to put your mind to it, you can actually kind of make a life and start a business and you can still do those things probably better than you can do other places. And again, that's still not perfect. But when you say the opposite and you go, oh, but there's these problems compared to what?

The same thing as social systems and everything like that. What should probably happen in America is they should break up. And then one side goes back to freedom completely. And then one side goes back to, you know, kind of what England is right now. That's probably what, how it would look like when England sort of people came to America and they go, we want freedom. And then British people kind of said, well, we're just going to do this. They're not nothing, you know, the frigging safety America would still be, you know, the runoff of the old America. And they could still have, you know, they could get a queen. Maybe Obama could come in and be like their king and they can have all their ceremonial practices. And then the other people can, we can have Elon Musk,

Peter Thiel. It doesn't have to be here. Maybe Mars is the new America. We'll see what happens. But listen, I just want to say that the the the woke culture, the the anti the anti individualism, all of it that's like taken over this country so much is so pervasive that I saw these articles. So that's what I want to talk about when you celebrate the thing. So I went there, a bunch of my friends, had a super fun time. And I see someone post this article on Vice because I got to follow Vice, my favorite. It goes, skip your touching tribute to the American dream. And the gist of the article is that you shouldn't be having fun right now because there's so much going on in the world.

It's like you can't have a birthday. You can't have you can't hang out with your friends. You have to be entirely immersed in the experience of telling your country it's bad. You have to be totally immersed in a 20 in a 24 seven propaganda onslaught on your friends, your family. You're like, hey, do you want to go to the beach today? Go to the beach when I could call my mom and tell her she's racist? When I could give a list of things that my friends could do to get rid of their privilege? You want me to go to the beach with my 500-pound wife? No.

I will post about how hot she is though. So this is what it says. Life is good, right? Why not post about it? Well, yeah, that sounds simple enough. No, life is absolutely actively not good right now for any American with a sliver of a conscience or even a hint of financial instability, it is not good. Have you ever been, I talked about the term gaslighting, but someone's like, ah, life's good. And they go, no, life's not good. It's not good for you. It's not good for America.

Life sucks. You see your neighbor that's mowing his lawn and he's whistling. Life sucks. You see your neighbor that's mowing his lawn and he's whistling? He is whistling to cover up the systematic injustice that he is feeling at all times. He is in a war zone right now. Oh, you like watching sports and you think you should be able to just watch sports? You want to just watch a football game? You want to watch basketball? Well, you

can't because it's COVID and you also can't because you have some activism to do. You got your homework to do, kid. You're a kid right now and they're your parents and you're like, I want to go skateboard. And they're like, I'll tell you what you can do. You can take, you can do a kickflip over racial injustice by doing an Instagram post four times a minute. Have you tweeted yet today? Do your homework. This is a full-time problem and you are a soldier. So life is good. No, it's not. Well, it's hard to begrudge anyone, um, their cope and their coping mechanisms in the moment. So if you post a status being like, for example, I posted, I was out with my friends, bunch of super funny comedians. We were laughing. We were playing cards against humanity, drunk out of our minds at 2 a.m.,

having a ball. That's just me coping. I posted this. I go, listen, anything helps because I'm having a nightmare right now. I'm, you know, you do what you can, you know, I go, listen, anything helps because I'm having a nightmare right now. You do what you can. I posted a photo saying me and my friends are having a fun time right now. But what I really meant was I'm in hell. We are all living in the pits. Is it the pits? We are all living in the pits of hell. Well, okay. So it's a good time to reflect on the root of patriotism that circulates every year on the dot. Every year this time on the dot. I wonder why. Patriot Day.

You go, so there's one day a year that we're going to celebrate America? Isn't that so bizarre that every year on the dot, everyone gets all patriotic? Yeah, it's called the holiday. It's like, listen, oh, December 25th, all of a sudden you're a Santa fan, huh? Why aren't you talking about Santa Claus, August 24th? It's kind of a little bit of a little bit convenient to talk about the Easter Bunny in April. Yeah, well, I don't jump in on the Easter bunny bandwagon. Yeah. That's the point of the day is so you can be like, whatever. It's not perfect, but you know,

it's not perfect, but it'll have to do proud to be an American in this economy, in this economy, proud to be American in this economy with the rate of COVID-19 resurgence? Maybe not. Maybe you shouldn't be proud to be American. Like, I don't know about the testing or whatever, but I would assume there's lots of countries going on. It seems like in some of the hubs that are the most. And yeah, if not, if, if not that there's a little bit of a higher rate and that was because of of freedom you know they say listen we're not gonna have as hard of lockdown restrictions every country did a different way every household did it a different way and america says listen we're gonna lean on the side of

freedom if that happened i don't even think that's what happened i don't know but if it was the numbers are higher here and you go that's an opinion and quite potentially what the celebration is about if they're saying like we're celebrating freedom and patriotism, whatever the fuck. You know, I think patriotism is a little gay. You know, anyone that's super proud of anything that they're not part of. But, you know, you can't fake it for two days. It's just fun to do the thing. Everything doesn't have to be activism.

But I get it if someone's like, you know, the American Eagle flag, the American things like waving the American flag. It's like, oh, buddy, a little much in this economy. So if you have to be proud to be American and by the way, you know, you don't have to be that proud. I'm not even saying go out there and post a cringy like this is my country and I will die for it. You know, whatever, who gives a shit? But to post that you're having a celebration on a day of celebration, that's just what it is. I'm for sure for 10 people, America's like, this is, this is our day. They wake up and they go 364 days are for them. This is for us. Get go. We're going to the flag store. But for 99% of people, normal human beings, they go, Oh, it's a holiday. And we can get together with our friends,

eat some dogs, queue up some birds with the boys. And you're trying to take that away from us because of this economy, me and the boys can't shoot the shit. I don't think so. Not playing that game, sister. It's like, can you imagine this idea that everything, you know, and I get it. They go, you know, America's doing bad things and it's done bad things. And like every other country in the world, you know what? Same with canceling. No person is perfect and no country's perfect. So the thing that you're going to be like at someone's birthday party and someone's

going to be like, you know, we're here to celebrate John's birthday party. You know, everyone and someone goes celebrate John's birthday party. He owed me twenty dollars in 1998 and he never paid me back. This party is over. Cut the generator. We're going home, folks. Oh, celebration. You know, Pete and Janet are getting married. Everyone say hi to the bride. Say hi to the bride. This guy once beat up a guy at a bar. So I don't think I will be saying hi to the bride. You made a mistake, pal. We're not

celebrating your day. You don't get a day because you did something wrong. And by the way, ladies and gentlemen, the citizens didn't do it wrong. It's not the citizens that are out there bombing people. Yeah, it's people in the government as this country got carried away with growing the government because of you. Now, I'm not going to get on a liberty rant right now. They go, it's tone deaf. It's tacky. It is so tone deaf to have fun. You imagine seeing a kid. Where does this end?

Can kids have fun? Or is there an age where fun time is over? If you see two kids laughing, splashing around in a pool, maybe playing, doing some of the fun things me and my friends used to do, like running into my teachers. We used to skip class to run to a teacher's class named Miss Lion. And we used to go to her room every single day, literally every day. We didn't miss a day for about six years. We even took, it would be one of those things where you, I can't, I can't get out of class right now to go to the washroom or skip or whatever. Yo, can you take a shift? And she was a drama teacher. And every single day for two years straight, one of us would run by the classroom, open

the door and, and, uh, yell and keep running. We did that. And we didn't get caught for two full years of high school at Pickering High School in Ontario, Canada. So if you think kids do that and have fun, I'm sure she would agree that we probably can't do that. I doubt she would like that. But you get my idea. Kids playing basketball, having fun, and you go, this is a little tone deaf, you seven-year-olds. Social media's role in our lives is more complex than ever. We're at a crossroads in which people are blending their personal lives with their call to actions for

the many in need. Yeah, which is stupid. Yeah. The dumbest thing that's ever happened is that you've turned a tool to, so for people to literally, when Instagram started, it was for people to post fun photos of, and by the way, I don't give a shit. I'm not like some Instagram started, it was for people to post fun photos. And by the way, I don't give a shit. I'm not like some Instagram guy, but that's what it is. It's for chicks to post photos of them looking hot and they can get some likes, you know, for mothers. Facebook is for mothers to post their family photos, keep in contact with your friends, whatever. And you go, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Instagram does not exist for fun and to connect with your buddies. Instagram exists for you to fight the patriarchy.

Instagram exists for you to tear down capitalism. That's the reason that Mark Zuckerberg started all these companies. It's for you, a 20-year-old girl with a political science degree half finished because you wouldn't have been able to get into any program that involves any sort of critical thinking or any sort of brain power. So you have the easiest degree at the campus and it's for you to personally tear down, tear down the patriarchy by yelling at your friends and family. That's the purpose of Instagram. and family. That's the purpose of Instagram. They go, listen, it's confusing for sure,

but it's also productive. Is it though? Has that what you've, is that what you've seen over the last couple of years where everyone, everyone's an activist online and they yell at their friends and they yell at their family. You found that productive. Is that seem to be a better world or a worse world where everyone is yelling at each other nonstop? Does it seem like people are living their best life right now? Or does it seem like people are on edge? And your opinion is like, no, no, no. We have to be on edge. Always. Tell when, when you tell me though, honestly, if you're telling me that Instagram is a tool for you to tear down systematic racism, Instagram is a tool for you to fight the patriarchy and to yell at your friends. When tell when for eternity, or is it possible that until you stop

being an activist and the next people take over, I don't really see how this could end. And this is what all these people do. They start these, they, they, they make, and that's another video that I have an idea for is make your cause about everything else. But you know, you saw with gay marriage and they say, listen, we're fighting for gay marriage. And then they got gay marriage and they go, all right, we got to add the trans stuff into this mix because this machine's got to keep going. So tell when, if you want to tell people, you go, hey, I know that you are a person. You've got maybe your kids to deal with. Maybe you're in a bad relationship and you're dealing with that. You got to put all that aside and be a full-time yeller at your friends. You got to be canceling. You got to yell at that aside and be a full-time yeller at your friends, sir. You got to be canceling.

You got to yell at your grandmother. I know your grandmother's a bitch. Okay. Your grandma's a fucking cunt. She deserves to die. Okay. Capisce. And you go, all right, listen, I'll do it.

All right. How long are we thinking? How long? As long as it takes. Well, as long as what takes it? What exactly are you fighting for? You don't know. You don't see. This is your privilege talking. You don't see the problems. I go, listen, you're asking me to turn my entire life and social network into a propaganda tool for your movement. Is it possible that it's not unreasonable for me to maybe ask what that movement's goals

are so I could keep track of if we're getting close to them? It's someone starting a Kickstarter and they're like, Hey, I'm starting a Kickstarter because I'm going to, I'm starting a Kickstarter because I have this thing. Uh, I I've made an invention. So I need, and I'm going to print a bunch of them on a 3D printer, and I need this Kickstarter for you to support me so I can make, so I can, I'm botching, botching this analogy. But I need a Kickstarter for money. And you go, oh, how many are you going to make?

And you go, however many it takes. You go, how much money does it take to make them? You go, I haven't even checked. And you're like, okay, well, what are you planning on doing with the money? We'll figure it out. How much money do you need? All of the money. So your movement, I looked at the black lives matter thing. And that's the trickiest one. Cause the, you know, I've said this before, but the biggest stake to victimhood, a claim to victimhood in this entire country is by a long shot, you know, black people. And it doesn't mean that I agree with all of it. It means that I agree with part of it. And I think

you can understand, you know, where those might exist. And I go, it's, it's one of those things where that's the problem. It's like, I say in New York, I can point out a lot of ways why black people have it easier probably in certain ways especially in certain industries and you can probably you know maybe in college applications whatever it is if you're a rich black guy when they like killed it and you get and it's easier for you to get into college obviously but and I would say that there's probably more the other way and especially in other places and whatever that's it doesn't even matter I'm not getting I'm not going to do an analysis of whether thing is what I am going to say is i took a little cruise through the black lives matter um uh website and i kind of went there in bad faith i'm going to be honest with

you because i kind of looked at it and i was like i bet you i bet you this is all over the place about i bet you it doesn't even talk about black stuff. You know, I kind of went there the way that a blogger would watch my comedy. You know, like they sit down like ready to watch some freaking comedy. That's like the kind of way that I watched it. But I went there and it was 10 times worse than I could have thought. I swear, I go on the about page on their mission. There's five paragraphs. I think one of them

mentioned black people it was I couldn't believe what I was it was there's a full paragraph about it's only one page long and like 25% of it's about trans people and 25% of it's about LGBT and this and I go what is happening right now I'm in a black panther rally and and they're like yeah and also if your wife does a dick, you're racist. And you go, if your wife doesn't have a dick, I go, what is happening right now? So I think that I've seen a lot of my black friends. I've seen a lot of black people. I follow kind of waking up to this and being like, wait, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Wait a second. I saw one, uh, uh, dude who's been on Rogan. I was following him and he's talking about how he kind of had a good point where he goes, no, no, no. Black Lives Matter is a movement that they gave us. You know, we've been supporting for black stuff. And this is the movement they gave us and they own it. This is not for black people.

It's a communist movement. It's whatever. He's saying stuff that other people move. But, you know, I don't want to. This is a tough one. I don't think I would ever want to go on a tv show as the pundit being like yo black lives matter is a shit but i do want to say that i said that that i think that everyone should be weary of movements that they have nine different causes you know if you're if i if i'm the boys cast right now

and i'm for the boys i said i always have respect for movements that actually stick to their cause, even if I don't agree with it. But I'm saying I'm for the boys. And I go, listen, guys, we are for the boys. And you know what the boys are for? The boys are for supporting handicapped charities. That's what boys do. We are for the boys, boys, boys, boys. Right.

And you know what? You know what else men do? Men give money to support pedophiles that were wrongly accused when the girl was actually only 13, when they sang she was nine. That's what boys do. And you go, wait a second, what? What was that last part? I go, it's just boy stuff. Listen, I'll figure out, you just got to know that you support the boys I'll tell you what the boys do we actually have a program uh for the boys that uh supports a child pornography because it's for the I'm just saying that and you go wait well and you go how that I go well I have a website called the boys cause for the boys and that's on the site I don't know what to tell you do you disagree with the boys and you go no I don't know what to tell you. Do you disagree with the boys?

And you go, no, I don't disagree with the boys. I go, well, bring the frigging diaper boys in then because that's on the list. Maybe that analogy was flimsy. Maybe it wasn't. Okay, if you absolutely positively must post, if you gotta post, when you gotta post, you gotta post, you get that fire selfie, Throw it up on your Instagram. And by the way, I definitely don't want to post.

There's nothing worse than the chick forcing you to post when she's like, hey, why don't you post about me? And you go, no. Throw it up on your close friend's story. At least they probably already know what they're going to see when they click it, that little green circle. that little green circle. So if you are going to post, ladies and gentlemen, anything that isn't about systematic racism and oppression, make sure that it's for, you know, only, you know, a close friends because you don't want to potentially change the mind for no one's listening to your posts. You don't matter. No one cares. No one's changing their mind because of your stupid posts. If you're online and you go, listen, I'm posting for, I'm posting for my fans.

Excuse me, my fans, your fans, your friends, the people you went to college with your coworkers. What are, who is this? If you must post a photo, I am posting and you go, yes, but listen, I've got impressionable followers. My cousin, Daryl. But listen, I've got impressionable followers. My cousin Daryl. I do not need Daryl thinking that he can stop thinking about systematic oppression. I can't have Daryl seeing me at a picnic.

I can't have that. That's going to ruin him. He's too stupid. I have no respect for the people in my life. They're morons. Listen to me, the leader of the pack, the leader of the pack. So I will, as my solidarity, because I am, my voice is so powerful. No, it's not. You are nothing. You're a cashier at Target. You're nothing. It doesn't matter. No one cares what you have to think. You're not doing this for them. You're doing this for you. So if you want to say, hey, listen, when you're trying

to put out this like cool guy activist persona, yeah, it might help for you to not post your picnic because then people are going to be like, oh, I thought that this person was an activist 24-7. Now I find that they're eating blueberries? My brother actually told me the funniest story. He's like this big 6'6 guy, but our uncle had a heart attack. My uncle's like a hilarious dude when he was in the hospital. Pretty funny.

He was going to... I'll tell you the first story first. So basically what happened is he had a heart attack, so he had to stop eating fruits and vegetables, or he had to start eating fruits and vegetables. This guy's living off like a diet of exclusively chicken fingers. You know what I mean?

50 years old, never touched a fruit in his life. And then he started eating fruit because the doctor's like, yeah, you're going to die, dude, if you don't start eating fruit. So anyways, he works with my brother, and he showed up with him. And he goes, Evan, have you ever tried a blueberry? 50 years old. He goes, these blueberries are fire. For the first time in his life at 50 you ever tried a blueberry? 50 years old. He goes, these blueberries are fire. For the first time in his life at 50, he tried a blueberry.

But the other thing is I, he's like the funniest guy. And when I, he had a heart attack and him and my mom were supposed to go on a trip. And then the, so this happened like right before the trip. So I, I was like talking on the phone. I was like, Hey, you know? And he was like, Hey, hey, thanks for calling. I go, yeah, I'm not calling for that. The trip.

Is it taken? Can I have it? He was like, ah, he goes, oh, you're the first person to make me laugh or whatever. So he enjoyed that joke of me saying that I don't care about your stupid heart attack. What's going on with Beirut? Is that a place? So next, like I mentioned, me and my friends played Cards Against Humanity at the thing. They got a, this is at like, you know, we did a full day ripper.

We're at 12 p.m., bunch of comics, some chicks there. And then, or 12, from 12 p.m. to 2 a.m. So we're like getting tuned up for, you know, 13 hours straight. I'm, I'm, I'm shredded. And then it's a bunch of comics and we're like let's play cards against humanity someone pulled it out at first i was kind of like i don't want to play a board game three minutes into cards against humanity i'm like this is the best game ever made i i'm i'm getting competitive i was i was i was winning at one point

i was robbing everyone's faces i was i very annoying, probably, to everyone else playing the game. That's probably the best way to describe it. Very annoying. Someone's like, can Ryan stop yelling and screaming? I go, just because you can't take the heat. Don't play Cards Against Humanity with a god. So anyways, they made this article from Vox, the nice counterpart. My second favorite is Vox.

And then they go, so you can't celebrate 4th of July. You got to be an activist. And Cards Against Humanity, fun game for 4th of July. They said, Cards Against Humanity is racist and sexist. And they say, did Cards Against Humanity's ironic humor masks a toxic culture all along. So not only can you not, you can't play, you can't celebrate with your friends. If you are celebrating, which we strongly suggest against, and you decide to play your favorite board game, guess what? I am a racist.

And their idea is, because you can say stuff like there's all these nouns and so one of the things would be like this was the best thing to ever happen and you could say like holocaust or something you know what i mean so and there's a million reasons why it's funny you know what i mean a it's funny to do things you're not supposed to do obviously it's you know it's funny for a bunch of drunk people to be like say do something that you're not supposed to do it's also funny to say things that will bother people it's funny and then there's a little bit of which they try to go with ironic racism or whatever maybe it's funny like doing it ironically it's also funny to do do it and pretend it's not you because in the context of cards against humanity they don't know who's

reading it so you could kind of do something really mean and then be like what who said that oh i'm guessing this person and then if you win, it's a reveal of like, it was me all along. So there's this extra funny component. And then if you don't lose, you can hold the idea that it was this person saying the race. I'm still, you know, I kept saying that, like, I would be like, I still, I'm very ashamed of you for posting that. And they're like, it wasn't me. And I go, yeah, sure. Even though it was me, um, you know, just the same way. It's funny to do things you're not supposed to do. If you go bowling and your friend's name, you change his name to small dick Chris, you know,

that's just a funny thing to do. So there's a million reasons. You know, and their thing was, it's basically the popular brand built on its progressive ethos through a game that encouraged ironic bigotry now faced its reckoning. So these guys kind of became this big game or whatever. They started their board game and their board game company. And then it became a big game. And then everyone said, you guys are the problem. And they jumped through hoops to say that they're not racist. So then they did this thing where they could raise, they raise money for racism. They did, they just did all this stuff to show that they were you know that they were on the right side of it so they wouldn't get canceled so they basically said aren't playing our game

instead of them saying like hey your games you know we think your game's offensive and i'm saying like yeah don't play it then eat a dick yeah we made a funny game it's taken off people like it don't play it if you don't like it he played they played the game they go and this is what a lot of people do and i'm going to talk about rickie Gervais had a big interview and I want to talk about that too, but they basically go, no, no, no, no. What? Racist. No, no, no, no, no.

We, this game is for people like us who we know racism so wrong that it's funny to do, which is sometimes the case. Not always the case. That is one type of thing to do. But then they go, so they basically said, no, we're on the right thing. The popular card game faced multiple allegations of fostering longstanding abusive racist workplace culture earlier this month.

By the way, what is a racist workplace culture? You know what I mean? This is like five guys who are online are saying they're woke. So how racist is this culture that you have a guy that, you know, went to NYU or some school in San Francisco, made a board game with his friends, and he comes, he's like, we're woke. He's online posting.

We stand against bigotry. You know, I'm not saying that he might not make a joke or two, but the idea that as a racist culture, like you come in and he's burning a cross and you're like, what's that? You're like, welcome to this culture, bitch. Oh, you thought I was woke because I posted a Black Lives Matter square? Yeah. Welcome to a racist culture. Yeah. Someone had a noose in, I'll put a noose in my lunch in the fridge.

Yeah. It's a racist culture. No, what they mean in the racist culture, they mean microaggressions and things that don't exist. So the company, you know, company emailed Vox when Vox has been beating them up they've it's ongoing they have a war against cards against humanity so basically vox send them a thing being like well no no we donated a hundred thousand dollars you know we've uh to you know fight sexism and all the things and then they and then they even they even talked about their their starting story they go actually, it began as a satire of hollow morality and evangelical hypocrisy

during the tail end of the George Bush administration. So they're like, no, we actually made the game to make fun of. So when someone said something and you said make something funny, everyone's laughing like, oh, that's what someone like George Bush would probably do. And then they go, although they do admit

that it didn't come out into the ears of Obama. So basically all these people that play the game, it's like, don't play the game. You can't win. They don't want you to win. You can go, no, no, no. I'm not racist on this. It's, you know, they, they want you to lose. So you can't play. And they do this whole thing, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But the funny part to me, this is what another thing they go, we're going to have a day of reparations. So they, they basically basically they're all in on this stuff right now trying to prove that they're on the right side. So they go, we're going to have a day of reparations where we send black children to museums and theme parks. And that's what they came up with or someone at the place came up with.

And that would be a good thing for them as their publicity team or whatever. team or whatever and then someone at the company was a was a whistleblower and wrote an article being like this you consider this reparations a twenty dollar bill to black person giving them a free admission well they're like i mean not no we just thought it would be a good thing to do it's like no you should be giving them a hundred grand it's like okay well we're a board game we can't give every black person in america a hundred thousand dollars well then you're out it's not enough so they go and they and the people about all this thing they go communicating through irony isn't a great basis for social change and you go yeah we're making a board game not social change yeah we how about this we can make our board game and then if we want to participate in the culture because we have to,

because we're going to get a million articles, we'll donate some money. Would that appease you? Which, by the way, that's something that I've come around on a little bit. Because I've been saying, not come around on, but I've come to a realization that I want to update my opinion. While I do think that all of these woke organizations in entertainment and stuff are the problems. I didn't realize the extent to which it's a circle where the advertisers, and you go, well, why are these companies have to make woke stuff?

And you go, because no advertisers will advertise unless it is. So it's this thing where the media and the companies that make comedy force everyone to essentially be woke because you know these all these shows go in they're like every you know everyone needs to care about intersectionality that's the only thing that matters and they influence the culture of these these companies and these companies now go yeah they're right we need to do that and we'll only we'll only advertise if stuff's woke. And then these comedy organizations are like, oh, we told these corporations they have to be woke, and now they can't advertise on anything that's not woke,

so we exclusively have to make this, even though people don't want to watch it. So the advertising dollars, you know, that's why you have guys like Alex Jones selling Patriot pills and Patriot cream, bunker vitamins, because that's the only thing they can sell because they can't get advertisers,

which I kind of always have realized that with the Alex Jones, but I didn't guess I realized how pervasive it was even for news stations and even for a show like Tim Allen's Last Man Standing, which is why it does better on Netflix, or not does better, but makes more money on Netflix because they can get the big-name advertisers that don't want to be seen advertising on these programs and I'm sure I'm sure we've all had some version of thinking that but I guess I just it like clicked to me the extent to which

it was like a perfect circle but these guys had cards against humanity what they did which is what always happens it happened a lot of places but they said okay also because it's like the five of them grew up together and they went to college together lot of places, but they said, okay, also, cause it's like the five of them grew up together and they went to college together and made this game, but they're all like white dudes. They said to prove our allegiance to you, we're going to hire a bunch of diverse people in the writer's room. Right? So they've got, they essentially hired a bunch of 20 year old girls to come in and tell them that they're not funny and tell them that their jokes are wrong and tell them what real humor looks like. These guys are five guys that I guess, obviously they're not funny and tell them that their jokes are wrong and tell them what real humor looks like these guys are five guys that i guess obviously they're i don't know who's the funniest

or i don't know their names but i assume they're funny guys because the game's really funny they wrote you know thousands of cards it's very funny and then basically it became this big huge hit they get these they get a team the super team they marched in like a you know a 20 year old chick with a hijab like a girl with blue hair and nose rings. They go, who's ready for comedy? Literally a comedy black hole walks into their frigging thing. Like anyone that came in here to surgically, to surgically make sure that you're doing the right time, right type of humor. You can almost guarantee that is going to have the

opposite effect of making your game more funny. I guess the opinion is, well, who cares? It's not a matter of being more funny. It's a matter of being more right. Is it? Cause I kind of thought it was a matter of being funny and that's why the game was popular. So anyways, she's making all these, you know, jokes, probably the worst stuff. stuff you know it's probably like the her new version was cards against humanity it's like name something that is bad they're like uh men and you're like okay men uh systematic oppression uh okay and then we can only have negative questions and positive answers because if you she goes well if you have positive negative, that gives them the chance to do the opposite. So you can only have questions that say what's bad and then only have answers that we will give you. I don't know if that's what happened,

but I assume some version of that, or they just had some crappy jokes. You know what I mean? So, you know, we all know what fucking woke humor looks like. So anyways, these guys weren't listening to them. Fucking jokes stink. And then they said they went on a big tirade, wrote all these articles at Vox, did this big expose saying they brought us in to be like the minority council here, here, here. We will allow we will we will judge what jokes will be allowed and what jokes will be tossed in the trash like your opinions and your perspective. And most importantly your existence i don't care if you're five friends you're five white friends and that's racist inherently so then basically she wrote this big expose and they have to they can't say well they weren't funny so these guys just box them in and now they brought the diversity council back and

they're making new cards and i asked the person whose game it was i go hey just ask me let me ask you a question that cards against humanity when was it made and she was like oh it was uh the version from like 2010 or whatever and i go that makes sense because they've did this thing where they issued all the cards they got rid of all the ones or whatever and i go so basically they've reissued a new pc version of cards against humanity so if i if i'm giving you advice and you'd like to play that game, what you want to do is make damn sure that you buy an older version. So this leads me into what Ricky Gervais said. And Ricky Gervais, again, I've talked about this a little bit,

but I feel like I still haven't put my finger on it the last time I talked about this a little bit but I I feel like I still put my finger on it uh the last time I talked about it and it's something that drives me crazy is this sort of boomer take on how to defend edgy humor Ricky Gervais Camille Nanjiani so Camille Nanjiani is like you know part of the Pete Holmes and TJ Miller crew and And now he's a big star, Silicon Valley, the whole deal. And he's essentially, you know, a big internet woke boy telling everyone they're wrong, the whole thing, right? He's a pretty funny guy. You know, probably was funnier before he got into this stuff. But so the edgy liberal defense is what basically what they do, right? So he goes, and this is what Ricky Gervais says. He goes, a big part of my comedy

is saying things I do not mean. I say the wrong thing because I know the audience knows the right thing and that's why they laugh. I'll pretend to be right wing, left wing, or no wing if it makes the joke funnier. And then Kamel Gianniani goes, well, isn't that normalizing harmful ideas?

And then they went back and forth on that. And Ricky Gervais basically says i'm playing a character and this is what they always always do and it's just it is just wrong so i if anyone has watched ricky gervais's special yes there's there's times where you watch like the office and you're laughing because he's an asshole and but that's the character you're rooting for but and when you watch his stand-up and he does jokes about caitlin jenner being dead named when he goes and he says mel gibson's an anti-semite at the golden globes when he does all these things he's not playing a character they're they're laughing they're not laughing when you say to an audience full of people caitlin jenner

uh used to be bruce jenner and why so when i'm referring to in the past why can't i say bruce jenner is that wrong he's you're obviously playing a little ignorant and then he goes you know like Caitlyn Jenner used to be Bruce Jenner. And so when I'm referring to her in the past, why can't I say Bruce Jenner? Is that wrong? You're obviously playing a little ignorant. And then he goes, you know, like when you went to the doctor and the doctor goes, Brucey. Like everyone knows you shouldn't be saying that. But that's different from knowing that it's not true. And those are a big distinction.

They say, oh, everyone knows that it's not true. No, no, no. Everyone knows that you're not supposed to say it. You might be saying things that aren not true. No, no, no. Everyone knows that you're not supposed to say it. You might be saying things that aren't true, but a lot of what you're saying, they're laughing because it's a truth you're not supposed to say because it's a little bit true. And maybe you're pretending it's more true than it is. And it's only a speck of truth. But if you just go up there and say lies, you know, no one says, no one goes up there and says, oh yeah, Chinese people, they're so stupid. They can't do math. Everyone would be like, well, who would laugh at that? You'd go, they're actually good at math. So you're being an asshole and the thing's wrong.

So the whole thing, it's like, they want to play in the ballpark of this thing. I don't, I don't know if he's just like, I think this is the move or he's thought of it more thoroughly. And this is a big long con and he just knows how to play in the game or people like this actually believe it. Or they just know that this is the only defense. But it's like if instead of saying this, if you think you're some edgy humor guy, you're saying this, you're like, no, I'm allowed to do it because I'm one of the good guys. And I actually get why you canceled those people. They're the bad guys. But me, Ricky Gervais, your old pal, Ricky, you know that I'm one of the good ones. I'm saying in my audience knows I'm lying. I'm making fun of racists. I'm making fun of transphobes. No, you're not, though. I've heard you say some of these things in podcasts and interviews as well. So you obviously are a critical thinker. You're a smart dude. So it just drives me up the wall when they say this because

A, it's a flimsy defense and B, they're saying this game where they say you're normalizing harmful ideas. And what you're saying is, no, I'm not. What you should be saying is it's not up to me to do, to normalize the right ideas as a comedian, as an artist. It's up to me to make the thing that I think is funny and up to them to laugh at it. And you can get mad at it, but it's not, I shouldn't be defending myself against you to say, they go, that joke's racist. And you go, no, no, no, it's not. I'm one of the good guys. You stop playing the game because it forces everyone else to play the game. When people like Ricky Gervais do, when these big people go, no, I'm actually good. So that's why that shit drives me up the wall. Ricky Gervais talks about how religion's stupid. He talks about how

women cry more in certain times. It's like, okay, so is the audience know that religion's actually great? Do they know that women don't cry and that's why they're laughing? There's obviously truth to it. And sometimes you're doing, and the other one too, sometimes you are saying something that's not true probably, but you're doing both. And when they say normalize terrible ideas, you go,

you know who's normalizing terrible ideas? Universities, you go, you know, who's normalizing terrible ideas? Universities, you, the terrible idea that everyone needs to think the exact same way. Turn it on them. You're not going to win the argument by defending yourself. When they say you're racist, you go, no, I'm not. You're normalizing terrible ideas. You're the universities are a frigging propaganda machine. I go, I was having this argument with

someone the other day where I go, I always say argument. I just mean conversation, but there I go, they're like propaganda machines. And you know, a lot of people have talked about a university to become propaganda machines. I have friends that are university professors and they're like, you don't understand how bad it's gotten. And they go, yeah, but that is the right thing. I go, okay, stop. Just before we even get into it. yeah, but that is the right thing. I go, okay, just before we even get into it, imagine every university right now was teaching kids, 90% of the faculty was teaching kids that abortion's wrong and was teaching kids that there should be unadulterated capitalism and there should be, they should not have public healthcare. And that's just a value that you should have as an American.

And regardless of what you think, I go, would you say that that shouldn't happen? Okay. So what you are saying is that universities should be propaganda machines as long as they have your propaganda, but it's not, it shouldn't work that way. So with Ricky Gervais, he goes, no, no, no. I am my, my, what I am saying to do is analyze issues properly and what you're saying to do is here's what the ideas are normalize bad ideas and Kamal Najumbi you are the sole decider of which ideas are good or bad that's the answer to this question so anyways I'm not going to go too far into it but the idea is they want to give you a fucking list of acceptable opinions and a a coloring book for what to do your art inside someone like ricky gervais wants to say i'm doing my art outside of it but i still agree with the fact that those lines exist i agree with what

you're doing but i'm doing it to actually make more people get inside the lines so you know i'm kind of like a on your team but i go outside the So, you know, I'm kind of like on your team, but I go outside the lines just to make sure. I'm sort of like a hall monitor for the lines for other people. I do it just to keep it in check. So, you know, they talk about these ideas of controlled opposition, and I'm not a conspiracy theorist about that, but it's the same principle where it feels like that.

It's like those are the people out there representing. That's the best famous people we got. instead of saying, no, I don't want you to give me a list of things I could think. And no one does tell people to think for themselves, tell people to analyze the issue and listen to all the things. And he goes, well, why would we do that when we already know what the right ideas are? So I judged the roast battle, uh, the other day, uh, for gas digital gas digital. All my, a bunch of us went, it was, I was roasting. And the purpose of that is everyone makes like the worst jokes. And it's the most positive environment in the world. People are calling chicks ugly. People

are throwing faggot around. People are doing all sorts of stuff like that. And it's literally, get around. People are doing all sorts of stuff like that. And it's literally, it is the most inclusive sort of environment in the world. Everyone's positive. Everyone's happy. And everyone knows they signed up for that. And that's okay. If you don't want to do it, don't sign up for it. The cards against humanity. If you don't want to play it, don't play it. But you can't say that me and my friends who are black, brown, Asian, whatever, I can, I, we get together and you show up and you go, I'm going to give you guys a list of rules of how to communicate with each other. And you go, well, the thing with comedy is the rules by design. When you're talking about comedy by design, the rules exist because you have a contract with

the audience. If you and your friends are talking shit and you say a joke and they don't laugh at it. Now the rules exist that, okay, I kind of know that they don't laugh at that. So they actually get created by the game. That's how it works. So when we go to this thing and that's it's anything goes again, if someone said something too much, it might not work, but the rules are going to get created with that audience. Sometimes you get an audience that isn't dirt bags, digital dirt bags. Sometimes you get an audience of normal people that showed up to a comedy show and everyone's yelling and screaming and you know, doing this thing and and they go what the hell is going on here why did that guy just call her a fat bitch i can't watch a comedy show what is going on right now this guy

is making fun of this person's dead dad what is happening and agreed so in that scenario people are like oh i just go to plan b so the rules of the game are created by the players and you're not a player. You're an outside critic. You don't get to be, you don't get to show up to, you get to show up to gas digital and participate with a vote. Your laugh. That's how you participate in creating the rules with your laugh,

your one vote, but you don't get to tell other people how to vote. Unfortunately, as much as you'd like to. And honestly, it was the best time. Big jokes. I was, you know, there's like, there's a, there's like a gay guy and'd like to. And honestly, it was the best time. Big jokes.

I was, you know, there's like a gay guy and a Jewish guy too. And I was like, you know, I thought you had the better set. But I don't want to vote for you because you're gay. But being Jewish is also pretty gay. So I think it's a tie. You know, I was making that joke to my buddy David Piccolino. He's like a polyamorous guy. He has a podcast called Tinder Tales.

Solid dude. But I go, oh, and David a polyamorous guy he's he has his he has a podcast called tinder tails solid dude but um he's i go oh and david's polyamorous you guys might know what that means it's when you have sex with nine different fat chicks with armpit hair from brooklyn you know i mean we're all everyone's being mean i was saying that um the one of the comics that was jewish i was saying that he's not going to be on any top comic lists but i would be happy if he was on schindler's list stuff like that. And people were giving it back at me and people were giving it to everyone and everyone had a good time. And it's kind of one of those things with,

I was thinking about this the other day with calling shit gay. And people are a big, you know, and again, one of the reasons why gay made a comeback is because you made it so unallowed. You know, I don't need to go into too much depth about that, but that is a big factor with all things that are funny is how much you say they're not allowed.

But what happened was I was thinking about the fact that I have tons of gay friends. All my boys at the brothel. We go there. We hang out. We have a steam. We suck each other off. We go back to our wives. It's called being a man in 1945.

off we go back to our wives it's called being a man in 1945 so there's a lot of comedians that i know that you could be that they think it's fun to call shit gay and whatever and i go okay so why is that fun and they go wow they're internalized homophobia whatever i go okay but so you're white right how much how many times have you seen people go, Holy, that's fucking white. Like you see someone dancing and you're like, ah, it's pretty fucking white of them. So there is this, of course you understand that. So they're like, they're using you being white as a negative. The same way you go, a girl might be like, this guy's a girl's like a fucking man. You know, you can understand why that would be used as negative. So if you call something, you go, that guy fucking dances, fucking white, just the same way that you go, that guy fucking dances fucking white. Just the same way that you're like, this straight guy's fucking gay.

You don't understand how those are the same thing. It's just, and I understand why they would say, well, the power dynamic, this and that. Well, the power dynamic's different in every room, sister. You know, if you're at gay pride, it's going to be the power dynamic in favor of the gays. So whatever. I don't need to get too into power dynamics. We talked to that at length. But that is my synopsis of the roast battles and the activism culture and everything.

So it's good to just be able to be there with a bunch of comedians. No holds bars. Everyone's having a good time. And you look around, you go, what exactly is the problem, miss? I watch this. And the problem, a lot of this is comedians. Cause we're such a bunch of losers. Hopefully I'm not, but it's a, it can be a lame group of people, but I was watching this television show and you ever, I don't know if you guys are

like me where you probably mainly watch Netflix movies, Amazons, maybe some of you watch sports. I turned on a normal television show. It's these comedians. And it's, I think it's in the UK and it's a bunch of famous comedians and they put each other in a room and they have to make each other laugh. And if you laugh, if you laugh, you get kicked out of the room. I have never seen anything more cringe in my life. I was watching, I go, this, this is what TV's doing, huh? You know, I mean, I haven't watched a reality show since I don't survivor, I might say.

And I, I go, this is what they're doing. There's seven comedians. They're standing in a room, a guy's putting on a fake mustache, being like, hello, trying to make people laugh with a fake mustache. They're putting goggles on. They're making their hair look funny to try to make each other laugh. One guy, he goes in a pool and he starts screaming, mommy, mommy. I go, ah, I feel like I have bugs in my skin watching this. The only funny thing that I did see on the entire thing was one guy, which allegedly is the most famous guy in the thing.

He actually is the only time in the whole show someone said an actual joke is he said he goes, hey, I'm just going to tell you guys a joke because I think Nanette was the number one comedy special of all time. And the reason I think that is because it represents a group that hasn't been represented in comedy and needs more of a voice. White people. And I go, that's funny. They didn't laugh. represented in comedy and needs more of a voice. White people. And I go, that's funny. They didn't laugh, obviously. That's the point of the game. You don't laugh.

But I just thought it was, honestly, this guy, listen, I'm not saying I'm above going on some stupid show like that. I'm sure it was huge for all their careers or whatever. But oh my God, did it suck to watch. And this guy, I respect the fact that he goes listen i'm on this show this is embarrassing i'm a 45 year old man flapping around on the ground making fart making fart noises with your armpit trying to get a laugh it's disgusting and he goes i'm gonna squeak in a joke though so at least when he finishes this he has one clip where he said a good joke and i respect that but the the just to wrap up how comedians are losers i see a lot of comedians they go i can only hang out with comedians because i can't hang out with pedestrians dude all these podcasts are such

circle jerks and they go i can't hang out with normal people anymore i can only hang out with comics i mean and i agree that i can only hang out with funny people I think that most of my friends are very funny but the idea that some magical thing happens when you become a comedian I go I have some of these people I listen to them say that they go um they'll be like you know normal people I can't hang out with them because not as funny as funny as comedians. I have four friends that I talked to today that are 10 times funnier than you. Some of my friends are the funny, like I have friends I went to high school with that are and friends from the band scene. I know like three guys that are like singers in bands that are as funny as any comedian

I've ever met. They might not be as good at doing standup comedy, but they're funny. And the thing is, like I said, standup comedy is a language, but you and your friends develop a language. So the way that you speak in funniness to your friends, like, so when I'm talking with my three friends, those two guys are just as funny as me. If they're as funny as me, however, sometimes it is true that a new person shows up in the group and they'll say a joke and it won't hit as hard. And then I could say the same joke and they're like, this guy's so funny.

He's like, I just said that. I go, yeah, you don't know how to do it for normal people. But their brain is just as funny. And once you have a language with your friends, that's the same as the language of stand-up. So these people think, oh, our language is stand-up. You don't have friends that you think are hilarious. You can only speak. So it's just this insane thing. I know people in comedy that don't do friends that you think are hilarious. You can only speak. So it's just this insane thing.

I know people in comedy that don't do stand-up. I know so many people that are hilarious. You know, so I always think that's so funny. Yeah, like me and my friends in high school, I already mentioned the, you know, like the lion stuff. There was all sorts of that stuff. I remember stealing our parents' car and doing a 12-point turn in front of the school bus so it couldn't get past us. Not our school bus. We're not morons. I remember doing our parents' car and doing a 12-point turn in front of the school bus so it couldn't get past us.

Not our school bus. We're not morons. I remember doing stuff like that. We replaced our French teacher's movie that she was going to show us about French. Tell a Francais. English. It's a Canadian reference if you don't know that. But we replaced that with a porno.

So Ms. Valdman literally had to take the DVD, or movie at the time, and put it in there. And a porno starts going. And then we go, Oh, Ms. Baldwin, you pervert. And that was one of the funniest things. I have a million funny friends and I'm sure most people do. So I think that it's just funny watching when people do all that stuff. Now we are getting near the end and I do want to say thank you again. The Patreon has been growing. Now we have like 10 extra episodes up there or something like that. I've got extra videos up there.

If you want to go donate $5 a month to patreon.com slash theboyscast, we're rocking out over there. And if not, thank you for supporting. Just send some messages to your friends. Tell a friend. Buy the merch or something. Share a video. All of it helps.

And I appreciate you supporting Ryan Long and the boys takeover from 2018. But the one thing that I was happy with, because I've been getting so much love from all these big celebrities or whatever on my videos. And I always think it's so funny when people misinterpret your things. Well, first of all, I've done two videos now that're kind of making fun of people that like trump and people that don't like trump and and they all did really well which i think just goes to prove you go yeah most people aren't psychopaths like i've been saying you go the world's so divided it's actually not people are just afraid to say their fucking opinions in private especially to you if you're the type of person that is like that so i was uh but the the video um the one

thing i thought was so funny was my buddy like a guy i really like but he goes he posted a thing and he was like um when ryan long uh he in the video i'm holding hands and he was like you can see that he's holding hands the trump guy and the not trump guy are holding hands and he was like you can see that he did that to show the juxt the not trump guy are holding hands and he was like you can see that he did that to show the juxtaposition that they're both the same person of the different coin and i was like yeah that's generous because i thought it was hilarious two grown men holding hands i was like no i thought that like two grown men that was me i was like i have this video that i think i wrote fairly intellectually and i was like yo how funny would it be if we held hands and literally as we're holding hands we're like

and we're lying in the bed together and i was just laughing at the fact of like two guys be in the bed together just making me laugh it's just honest to god i was like there was nothing more to that than me just thinking that's hilarious so anyways anyways, a few other people shared me, I did a couple of big podcasts. And one of the guys told me after he goes, listen, he's like this big, you know, journalist guy or whatever the fuck you want to call it in that scene. He's got a big thing. And he goes, I've been, uh, I've been talking to people at CNN, vice Fox news, and all of them have shared me, shared your videos with me. He said the Fox news versus CNN. He said one friend from CNN and one friend from cnn and one

friend from fox i don't know if maybe it was two or whatever because they both sent me your video being like this guy rules and i was like oh i already said that and i've been sending around and stuff like that so i go even in these institutions they don't want to do this people working at cnn right now are like kill me i want to report the news and they're like the news we will tell you what the news is. People at Fox news are doing the same thing. They go, they, everyone, they're all being like, and not to say there isn't, that's the point. There is good people at all these things. There's people at vice. They just fucking, he's a tattooed band guy that was writing about the

hardcore scene and doing drugs in fucking Dubai. And now he's writing about how he's the problem. So yeah, there's a lot of people in these institutions that have problems with it, but it is what it is. But I thought that was cool that I made this thing, making fun of both sides. And I would agree that probably one side's worse right now, but the, because the, you know, because they control the world that I'm part of anyway, the media and Hollywood and all that stuff. If I was fucking working in Washington, maybe I'd feel differently. I don't know. But the moral of the story is the boys are strong and there's a lot of silent boys. What is it? Trump says silent majority, silent boys, boys are in the comeback. So listen, celebrate 4th of July with some Roman candles that you shoot at some of the other boys' peens for fun.

Do some gay shit because it's hilarious. Shoot some Roman candles off in your buddy's eye. That's what I recommend. That's my recommendation. A burning schoolhouse. They got real fireworks, not like those pussy fireworks that we had in Canada. Literally, you go to Canadian Parliament for the big fireworks display

and they're holding sparklers. That's what happens. The prime minister comes and they light the ceremonial sparkler. Right here, they got atomic bombs. It was amazing. I've never seen so much. I felt like I was in frigging Baghdad

during the Obama administration. It's getting political up here. in friggin Baghdad During the Obama administration It's getting political up here Did he bomb Baghdad? Guys, thank you for supporting the boys cast I will see you next week I've been Ryan Long And if you don't follow me on YouTube And Instagram, please do

At Ryan Long Comedy Peace in the middle East.