The Boyscast with Ryan Long - Pride vs Muslims, Roseanne & Making Friends With Submarine Billionaires Stepson.

Episode Date: June 30, 2023

A poo-shaming wife in Australia terrorizes her husband, Ron DeSantis gives his wife the worst birthday present ever, and RFK's private journal reveals he was a dawwg SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: NEXTEVO - Go to nextevo.com/boyscast for 20% off first order of $40 or more! AG1 - Go to drinkag1.com/boyscast for a free 1-year supply of vitamin D and 5 free AG1 travel packs! SUPPORT THE BOYSCAST: https://www.patreon.com/theboyscast http://ryanlongcomedy.com MERCH - ryanlongstore.com Ryan @ryanlongcomedy Danny @dannyjokes LEAVE US A FIVE STAR REVIEW! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Muslim-led city Hamtrak, Michigan has banned pride flags and many Americans are in dismay with local resident Susan Smith stating I really love the fact that they are Muslim But don't so much love the fact that they're pushing all this Muslim stuff love Muslims and gays though Brad Thompson of California Waited in saying I also really love gays and Muslims, but when we elected a Muslim majority council I wasn't expecting them to be like Muslim Muslim where they think the things the majority of Muslims think I love Muslims and gays though His wife Linda Thompson intervenes saying Brad you're taking up too much space Sorry about him Linda here love Muslims and gays, but we are hoping for the Muslims that like do lingerie with a jab You know or like a Mia Khalifa situation. There's nothing in the Quran about not celebrating homosexuality for a month

I'm assuming haven't personally read, love Muslims and gays though, so does Brad, who she then asks to wait in the car. A lot of people in the city are going back to the drawing board to figure out a way to make Hamtramck very gay and very Muslim. And one local resident of the town has suggested a compromise where kids read the Quran before lunch as long as the drag queens can read to them in the afternoon. But as of now, the Muslims have not taken that deal. Representatives of the pride celebrations have come back to the table with an offer of

absolutely no pork in the cafeteria, as long as the drag queens can have five minutes talks with the kids to teach them about the gender binary. But as of now, we've yet to hear back on whether the Muslim community is going to be receptive to that deal. And when retired Wyoming veteran Dan Brown was asked whose side he was on, he said, not particularly fond of either, but I'm warming up to these Muslims. And there you heard it. The boys cast. The holy. Just the boys cast. The dudes. Experience. The boys cast. The boys cast. Boys, boys, boys, boys, boys, boys, boys, boys.

I thought you were going to go more of like a... I thought it was going to be like a royal thing. It is a royal thing. That's what I thought you were setting up for. That actually is a royal thing. Boys, boys boys boys the fellas in the house less than 200 patrons

away from Bugman versus Bugman 2 Bugman v. Bugman go watch the first one if you haven't not the lawsuit yes exactly so go watch the first one

we only need less than 200 people out of fucking almost 100k and then we got fucking thousand a thousand episodes I think it's like

150 episodes or something stuff like that it's a metric shit ton and i am back from la yes who's back back from california again yes from that cesspool you do see a lot of this stuff i mean we live in new york so it's not much better but you do see a lot of the i'm telling you the people in the tents have it they haven't figured out i'll tell you that much dude i walked we drove we drove by one bridge and there's a bunch of people in their tents and they're barbecuing hot dogs in the tents i'm telling you it's not the worst life i actually some of the san diego it's almost like a part of me is like i could just you leave it all behind and go live with those guys for sure for a couple months and you're just cooking dogs with the boys stand off

your fingerprints off your hip fingers and just start over send your death certificate there's a guy that escaped from jail once and how he did it was pretty crazy but he basically uh he sent a he was managed to call the jail from the phone and acted like he was a nearby hospital and he needed to get transferred and And then he got transferred. I'm missing certain parts of it, but the gist of it is they brought him into the hospital or transferred him to this hospital. And then when he was at that hospital,

he left and then got mailed from the hospital somehow a death certificate to the prison. Oh, clever. And then just disappeared. That was a big conspiracy theory with the submarine is that all those people

went down there to billionaires. I actually had submarine stuff, but before that, I was going to say that kind of what I noticed about being in Los Angeles is like you sort of more just, it was kind of striking me a lot, the amount that you get like, just like West Coast California thinking,

because you always feel like you're on vacation. Yeah. It's like even just walking around the city. It's like I went from, like I was doing shoots and stuff like that. I went from one shoot to the other and I took like a scooter and you're actually just scooting around the city.

You always just feel like you're on vacation. There's so much more space there. That's what I mean. So you could see how people are like, all of the sort of policies. Okay, imagine someone brought you something about on vacation. You're just like to fix it like you know what i mean you're imagine you being like in the pool and then them coming

and they're like yo they're murdering like black people you're like well i don't know fucking fire the cops i don't know be gone it's all very like everything they can't if they were like listen like you know they want to let people be trans and they're like not letting them do it they're like i don't fucking let them do it what's the issue here like tequila you're like you're in my son yeah yeah tequila anybody so it's very like you just i get all the policies like the homeless people that i don't give them fucking money i don't know i mean i know you're like it hasn't been working i don't give them more just like get out of here the vacation thing for sure how many comments that's what it feels like do we know who like moved there and then you're just like they're just on a

permanent vacation they're on the beach every day on a Tuesday. You'll see friends on a beach, grown-ass men, just Tuesday afternoon at the beach playing hacky sack. Yeah. It is like that. You see Putin. They're like, oh, this Putin guy. You saw Putin there?

No, but I'm saying anything. Just picture any issue. Like, oh, there's this thing where putin is uh you know like putin's uh trying to invade ukraine you're like do you want us to tell you just freaking kill him i don't know get rid of him it's not my problem we can't like then we'll be in war you're like i don't get to give ukrainians the money to get rid of i'm like why are you bringing this to me basically in summation californians west coasters do not like their buzz and they go they don't want their buzzes nobody wants. Nobody wants their buzzes harshed.

And then there's this, oh, there's this other dictator that's like taking over Putin. You're like, good. And you're like, I don't just, I don't, yes, like, then we'll deal with that then. I don't know. Let's help that guy then. Sure. Just whatever gets us resolved. Greta Thunberg says the earth is going to be wiped out

by, you know, 2020. And you're just like, well, fucking stop using oil. I don't know. I don't know. Everybody just scoot everywhere. So I'll just scoot. Yeah. So I even feel like that too.

There was a bit of, because we're always, you know, we're doing videos about, you know, topical things or whatever. And it does feel a little bit when you're over there. You're just like, who cares, man? Just chill out, dude. Yeah, dude. Yeah, just chill, man. The state's going to take care of us.

Just, yeah. What is the government doing? Just like, I don't know, take more money from billionaires. I don't know. Just freaking deal with it. I don't know. Yeah, you're like... Kevin Newsom fix it. I'm trying to you're yeah you're in my son right now that's

all i'm hearing so that's that's the it does make you feel like that you're there for two days and you're just like i'll tell you what if you're there for four months it's probably very very hard to care about anything yeah yeah other than yourself well you've been on vacation once or twice in your life you're a big vacation guy. I'm not a vacation guy. I like a good travel vacation. You know what I thought? Someone was saying that he goes, it's hard. He's like, I basically think of everything like how, you know, like in life.

Like I even just like, you know, you got kind of like, how is this moving me forward a little bit? Even like vacations, a lot of times I'm'm like, okay, maybe I could go to somewhere. There's interesting stuff that I could, you know what I mean? Sure. I am acquiring experiences which I can monetize. Well, yeah, I don't know about that, but to that extent. But yeah, when you travel somewhere, not go to an all-inclusive, but even still,

you go to an all-inclusive, maybe something crazy happens. Right. But I'll even say, like, hanging out with friends. Can you write that off? I probably prefer to hang out with friends that are like i probably prefer like me and you to hang out then like uh someone you know that i kind of like that isn't in comedy or whatever to some degree because you're like well yeah but we like work together and there's like you know what i mean yeah yeah for sure but i my point of it was i thought of it like i think of

uh social stuff the way that girls think of relationships because that's a girl in a relationship is like she's like enjoy even like i bet you girls would like sex sometimes it's a little bit like it's it's not about whether the guy was good or bad sex is sort of like well what was this where's this going sure and if they feel like it's on the track to somewhere they like like it more yeah where they feel they kind of have that like where is this going where's a dude with sex could be like where's it going you're going i'm done i don't know why you're still going i'm coming you're going going i've called you an uber this isn't going somewhere

i feel like this isn't going somewhere what do you mean uover's going somewhere back to your back to your house you know what i mean you kind of like you want it to be like sort of leading to somewhere and it's like if it satisfies the criteria that it's leading somewhere then you feel more like inclined to enjoy it sure sure yeah i feel yeah yeah i don't know if i'm maybe that i'll tell you what i'll give you a perfect example. Just like eating food, right? Imagine someone told you something's healthy and it's good for you. You'd probably enjoy it a little more.

You're like, ooh, now I can let myself enjoy it. Yeah. As in without the guilt. Yeah, less guilt. I think that's where it's like, I think a girl, there's a little bit of like, oh, you're sort of dating guy. It's not going anywhere. You're just like, what are we doing here?

What are we doing here? My eggs are getting old. Right. So it's like, you know how some guys will like meet like some dude at a party and just go like a bender with randoms yeah like that doesn't appeal to me it doesn't appeal to me because what's the point of this yeah never see this guy again yeah he's just gonna fuck me he's gonna party with me and chuck me yeah for sure yeah i agree with that just like going on like totally like just total random guys

random excursions i felt like i had a little more random excursion in me when i was 20 yeah that's a young man's game i mean there's something about you being like you're also like oh i'm on this crazy random excursion then you look around and you're like the one guy who's like 48 hanging with like a bunch of 24 year olds and you're the fucking wife's calling you and you're like yeah this is maybe not cool and more like irresponsible which is cool though and yeah it is cool yeah oh your responsibility is cool now i didn't get the memo yeah my wife's my bitch nag of a wife's look at that she keeps calling not picking it up responsibility queen hey boys check this out ignore yeah ignore and then you're like actually like actually hold on a second i do have to text you though yeah jokes aside ignore anyways

she's going in for foot surgery tomorrow so just hold on a second ignore no injury no injuries in that do have to go to the bathroom though for a gonna be a while

yeah she's got bad plantar fasciitis so on the topic of you brought up the billionaires you had some fact what was what was the fact you were just saying the conspiracy

is that they're trying to get rid of the billionaires oh yeah yeah the billionaires cause there were all these billionaires on the submarine and then some people were the conspiracy was that they were trying to like avoid some hefty tax payments by uh going on this 250 000 sub trip interesting you know because obviously there's not going to be like a fragment of dna recovered from them there is oh you're saying they that's conspiracies they disappeared they disappeared. They disappeared themselves. They faked their death, started a new life.

Wow. And you know. That's what a good one. That is a good one, right? What a good death fake. Yeah. And that is because you're like, yeah, there's 4,000 feet below the surface is where they said it exploded.

You're like, you're not getting. And in the ocean, like you're not even going to get nothing. I heard you got lots of different conspiracies on this but so on the topic so i was this is sort of like a joke commentary for one but like i was uh i was in san diego and i was all all day long i was i was texting and posting about the stepson to try to get him into my show is that where he lived yeah i saw that he lives there and he went to the blink-182 concert and people were talking shit about him right yeah and like obviously my main thing was i think people were making the same jokes over and over again like

about this thing obviously it was became the biggest thing in the world and my thing was obviously on the side of like anyone could joke about anything but there is something funny about the hypocrisy of the like you can't joke about anything crowd that this one's a fair game you know they've somehow been like yes obviously you can't joke about something but someone died but he's like rich and like white so like that's okay and then they were basically trying to make the steps on like the enemy yeah and then they were like digging through this guy's past and stuff like this right and he's pretty funny there's there's some things where like don't you get like sometimes like step kids hate their stepdad well yeah not everybody loves their stepdad sure yeah i mean at the very least you fucked up my whole family and this guy's also

an adult yeah so it's like his stepdad but like i don't even know that he maybe he does maybe he doesn't but it's like this guy's an adult and it's like four days later or whatever three days later and he's got like fucking 400 blink-182 tickets and then on top of that the he said it's like four days later or whatever, three days later, and he's got like fucking $400 Blink-182 tickets. And then on top of that, he said it's like he's not getting money from the guy. It's like he's supposed to sit at what's sitting in his fucking house forever. Yeah, he's just like, he's not my blood biological father. He's my stepdad. I was doing jokes. It's like I don't even call him dad.

I call him by his first name. It's like, I don't know. It's like he's just a guy. Well, the question is, when did he enter the equation? Is he a stepdad or the dad that stepped up? Yeah. I don't think he's... He's not the billionaire dad that stepped up he showed up this is that dude's probably got a smoking hot mom and he came in like when he was so this is an adult now a wee cold but my point was i was doing jokes about it i posted one online that you know did like a

couple million views and over the different places yeah and basically i was uh saying that you know blink-182's dad in a submarine music like where are you like and then whatever a bunch of different stuff right and then obviously i'm getting some dms being like in poor taste sure i'm getting certainly comments being like you know this is when you crossed a line blah blah some people liked it some people did not like it. And then on top of that, so basically it was about the Stepson. And then I get a message from none other than the Stepson. Really?

He did message you? Yes. So every, this is the thing. These people like, they go, you can't joke about this. You can't joke about that. Guess who didn't like it? Didn't mind it. The person who actually, I said, why would he mind it? He was the one going to the fucking concert i thought the one reason he might mind it is because i kind of brought up some of his allegations in the thing but saying that i'm on his side yeah but he's like saying the n-word

on twitter and stuff who hasn't that's what i was saying who hasn't done that i said you do one come on you didn't get one? There's never been a better time for an N-word fest. Because my dad's dying. Yeah. So this goes on. And everyone, you know, I'm getting a bit of flack here and there. People are like, that's a lot.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, whatever. And then I messaged back being like, Cardi B's banned from the show. He's allowed. And then I tagged him and all this stuff. This is what he says. I never knew you sent me a ticket. Thanks. Very kind the show. He's allowed, and then I tagged him and all this stuff. This is what he says. I never knew you sent me a ticket.

Thanks. Very kind of you. That's nice of him. At this point, I'm thinking maybe he hasn't seen the joke. And then I go, and then I was like, dude, we're here for one more day. The shows are sold out, but you can come. And I was basically saying like free drinks, whatever, guest of honor sort of thing, right?

And then he messaged back. He goes, these jokes are in good taste. I feel bad for laughing, but funny. So this guy was like, he basically... This guy hates his stepdad. We don't know that.

You're turning into the mainstream media here, smirching him. I don't know. We don't know. Follow the money. That's always... Follow the money.

And he obviously ain't getting none, so he fucking hates his stepdad. We don't have any of this information. My favorite part was a journalist posted on his page. He goes, hey, I reached out for you for comment.

And then he replied to it. Yeah. And I ignored it. I saw that. That was funny. It sounds like he's like a funny dude. Then he goes, I said, drinks and food, anything either way, if you want to come back tonight. And he goes, I'm with family.

That was the end of it. So it didn't end with him going. I will say, we have a lot of friends, especially in comedy, who are leftists, essentially. The glee, the unbridled, uncontainable glee that they had for these fucking losers that were trapped in this submarine and were gonna die especially with the element of the clock like because there was they added the countdown clock that's why everybody was like so enamored with this that's why i'm just saying

there's a bit of hypocrisy but there was like this clock on it like dude i was at the fucking dead show last week and we were like randomly oh yeah you were yeah it was we were talking about it yeah they were good shows but uh we were talking we were talking about it like randomly oh yeah you were yeah it was we were talking about it oh bono yeah they were good shows but uh we were talking we were talking about it like randomly and like people would come over from like if they heard us talking about the sub it's the number one everybody was obsessed with the sub like obsessed everyone but i think it was like the countdown clock was like the big part because they're like you know it's like if you're in a movie and you run out of air you're like yeah that's that's what keeps you on the edge of your seat

right so uh but anyways for the people who i know like on instagram and stuff twitter who were just like loving the whole scenario i know because they were billionaires well they that's what i'm saying it's like this is why it's like when they talk about jokes period it was like you don't think what you think you just like you basically it's kind of like the intro we did where it's like when they talk about jokes period it was like you don't think what you think you just like you basically it's kind of like the intro we did where it's like no you don't think that like you shouldn't make jokes about muslim you just have like an affinity to the you you're the you're no different from somewhere that's like you can make jokes about people's girlfriend just not my girlfriend you know what i mean yeah yeah of course it's like a straight up which fine in

your personal life where you want to be like listen you cannot make fun of my dad you crossed the line but it's like on aggregate if you want to talk about people you don't know and you're just like these groups are on limits these groups are off limits it's like i always but the reason i'm even like kind of i think it's interesting it's because the rosanne thing happened where this week rosanne was onn's podcast, and she basically was doing a bit that she does on stage, and the gist of it was like saying some version of, she's like- She was being sarcastic. She was literally just being sarcastic. Yeah.

Talking about stuff you can't say, and then saying it. She was saying stuff that you can't say that is true. Yeah. That was the joke. She was like, it would be the equivalent of like, oh, you can't say that this funny stuff happened with the election. Just like you can't say this is black. Yeah. That's what she was saying, right?

So, or just like you can't, or just, yeah, but nothing happened. And this is white. This wall is white. Oh, no, yeah. She was using that as an example of something that obviously did happen. Yes, exactly. And she was denying the Holocaust in a way that was like, the joke was that obviously that did happen yeah she's like all the things i'm it's like opposite day it's literally all the things i'm saying that i'm

saying it's actually the opposite is true and the point she was making was she goes yeah joe biden got 40 million votes or something from 30 counties yes exactly like yeah she goes yeah because there's 40 million people in 30 counties and he's like yeah and then she did which is obviously not true and then did the opposite yeah but anyways and then you're fucking dwee this woman can't catch a break by the way yeah it's like so now like when you're in the scope you're in the scope well this is someone said this but it's such a good way to describe it it's like none of this has to do with whether it's real or whether it's fake or whatever but this is like a disciplinary tactic that they use for people that are also fucking dweeb of the millennia brian krasenstein excuse me

he like that's his business what the fuck are these guys what do you mean i know you don't know yeah there's first of all brian's they're both trump reply guys i didn't know there was two i think i after i remember you telling me this, but I honestly was just like, they kind of have a bit different personalities. And sometimes they're like, I was like, sometimes it's not that crazy and sometimes it is.

And I was like, and then I realized, oh, one of them's crazier than the other. Yeah, yeah. So Brian Krasenstein, they're both fucking dweebs. No, Ed's the crazier one. Yeah, whatever. They're both losers. They're both losers, but Ed's crazier.

Okay, and where do they come from? I swear to God, I never heard of these guys, the entire Trump thing. And then all of a sudden, my timeline is just like nonstop Krasensteins. I can't get away from these guys. They tweet 24-7. Yeah, they tweet 24-7. They're OG Trump reply guys. That's how they became popular, because they figured out that if they replied a lot, they

would get to the top of his comment section. I heard they bought accounts with big fucking followings or something. They did that, too. There's all this stuff or whatever, but that's what their main thing is. They figured out being Trump reply guys. Then they got kicked off of Twitter. Both of them got banned from Twitter. Oh.

Like, under Jack Dorsey's rule. Oh. Like, pre-Elon, they both got kicked back. So that's why you hadn't seen them for a while the brian one's less unreasonable the thing is sometimes they have reasonable takes yeah sometimes they don't like probably almost anybody but their whole business is just like uh and you're like getting selling though what are they even doing like a news guy or something they have a newsletter i think they did says he's like a tech guy or something. They have a newsletter? I think they did some crypto scam,

like most of them. Crypto scam's big. But they're just, they are terminally online. Terminally? Insane. I have a theory that it's not them. They've got a little like,

I bet you they have like a couple people working for them, tweeting and stuff like that. I think this is like a business for them. Maybe to crank out the company. But anyways, this guy goes on this big rant about like how it's never okay. This joke is never okay, and it was just like first of all like i'm not okay what if

you said this you go oh this guy's like uh he's so bad he might be a nazi well that is a joke that is a comment about the holocaust is that okay yeah like it's called like obviously he doesn't believe what he even believes like the guy it's like some- Well, a lot of this is backtracking. The people that say a joke, a topic is never allowed, it's like they have frigging worms for brains sometimes. They do. Well, this specifically is- So the initial tweet from him was he took a clip purposely out of context,

posted the clip, then that blew up, and then everybody turned on him being like, yo, you took this out of context. Half and half. A lot half and half a lot of people were the fucking worm brain people didn't didn't realize it and they go yeah just feed me more slop don't even care yeah more slop please but anyways and all these people like you took this out of context you're a loser and then now it's been him trying to defend himself because like the tide kind of turned on him people were like oh you even some people i think who would agree with him were like no you tricked us like we follow you and then you posted this thing and then now it's coming out that like it actually wasn't as bad as

it you made it out to be so now he's like oh well you know it doesn't matter it doesn't matter he's doing like what a chick would he's like oh it doesn't matter well it's like yeah i don't care that you said in whatever context it doesn't matter It's like she still said it. Who cares? It was said. I'll read the thing. He goes, to all the people defending her, saying this, blah, blah, blah. I don't care if it was a joke. I don't care if it was sarcasm.

I don't care if she's Jewish. I don't care if she was God. Joking about Jewish people dying in the Holocaust and sarcastically saying that Jewish people should die is not okay. It never will be, period. First of all, she wasn't making that joke. He's just like, you're not even allowed to say it. It can't be coming out of your mouth

regardless of the context. I can't think of a single Jewish comedian that wouldn't do a joke format in something similar to that. It's equivalent of being like, yeah, and obviously there's no racism towards black people sure like that's it yeah that's basically the joke that they're making yeah exactly and then he's like well how dare you say it like look he's he's now backtracking and he's making brains fried works because he can't

just well the problem is is that what he did was sketchy to begin with because he purposely took a thing out of context so he can't even New York Post New York Post they took it from him well come on I mean New York Post is a tabloid basically like it's they're not like sure I mean they all kind of but like that is crazy New York Post is super engagement driven like nonsense

as well like with their headlines like they know what they were doing to the difference is that they get called on and they go games the game whereas brian krazenstein's like no like i'm supposed to be this like beacon of truth on twitter like you know i'm trying to be like you know even-handed or whatever and you're like yeah it's bullshit like you're not you did this you were the one who actually perpetrated this you didn't even get tricked by it like you weren't reposting a clip you cut it yeah so you're like he can't even say

like i i made a mistake here like you did it that's why he's not admitting it good that it got community noted yeah community notes are the bad dude joe biden gets community like president gets a community note on the stuff they post stuff and they just get a community note slapped on it that's the ultimate scumbag move is the freaking he's a scumbag he's a trump reply guy context he's yeah he's literally trump reply guy that's a crazy move and he's like a joke out of context. Yeah, he's literally a Trump reply guy. That's a crazy move. And he's the type of guy that's talking about,

oh, things are too partisan. It was like, well, yeah, because you're literally lying to stoke claims. Yeah, yeah. Anyways, this woman can't catch a break. And I'll tell you, the times that I hung out with her, I was literally after hanging out with her when I thought to myself multiple times, like it's one of the coolest ladies in the world.

Yeah, for sure. She's so cool. Look. I'm such a pro. Pick your team, okay? Fucking Brian Krassenstein or Roseanne. Just pick your team. It's one of those things.

It's pretty obvious. Even if you don't like the things she says or what she's into, she's just like, just such a badass. Even just like when we were outside the Comedy Cellar, she just goes up and she's into she's just like just such a badass like even just like when we were like uh outside the comedy cell she's like she goes up and like she's like hanging out with a bunch of homeless guys and they're like we need smoke so she goes with the guy and like buys and smokes and yeah and then she's like takes a nap on the like booth of the car just like a badass yeah she's a badass yeah no sense of shit yeah yeah yeah so anyways can't catch a break man if that if that like it's basically back toto-back things.

I will say, though, but she, you know, she kind of, like, with the Valerie Jarrett stuff, she didn't really have people, like, get on the defensive, like, in the way that Krasenstein is. Like, everybody kind of just, like, went forward. It's not just him, but yes. But him, but he, the fact that, like, it's, you know, there is a shift where, like, you know, it's not just, like, kind of going along with it. he kind of has to walk it back not walk it back but that's the problem it's the same it's the same logic to be like you can't joke about stereotypes you can't joke about any it's like it's just these like you're on twitter like what are you talking about

you're telling people what they can joke about on twitter you're like that's what it's for partially this isn't like you're not at work. I always say that like, I mean, I guess he is at work. He's like, I'm at work right now on Twitter. This is my workplace. Yeah, this is my workplace. I'm being harassed at work. I'm forced to have to hear

these inappropriate jokes at work. But you don't work at Twitter. You work on Twitter. That's different. Yeah, boiled my blood a little. Yeah, me too. Like I said, the worst stereotype I still think is people, you know, there's obviously

a lot of bad ones, but like Southern whites having sex with their cousins, that's like, and they don't have any good ones. Because all the other people will be like, oh, like Asians, they're like really smart, but nerdy or whatever. Like whatever the, there's a lot of good and bad. Like that's the only one where it's like only bad. Like there's no positive Southern stereotypes. It's like, you're stupid, but you have sex with your cousins yeah maybe polite i guess i guess they're polite

but like polite is like never really like a good like southern whites everybody says that about canadians ago you're so polite no canadian likes hearing that i don't think they'd mind it i don't know i think you would to my family would they would they take pride in that like you're damn right we're polite yeah you're fucking right we are everyone in my family, they take pride in that. Like, damn right we're polite. Yeah. You fucking right we are. Everyone in my family always talks about how Americans are assholes. Yeah. A little bit, yeah. I've never really found that.

Probably. Other than New York, but that's more of a New York thing. No, they're more just, it's like a more feminine culture in the sense that people don't tell you to their face what they think. That's what they mean by polite. It's like, they sort of, it's's a little more it's less confrontational that's really what the whole thing means yeah but i will say that uh no i remember being on tour and like the east coast again maybe this is like just small town shit but i remember it's like we partied

outside of this guy's house in a van and the guy was like pissed off or whatever and then he came out in the morning and he was like not happy with what you did you guys need some coffee and he came and brought people coffee like small town that's small town that's small town but small town america i bet you so that's the stereotype or is the stereotype small town america sex with your cousins that was they had to make laws that to stop it you know um isn't it crazy that like there used to be the rich families like the rothschilds or whatever that like they had they married their cousins to keep the money or whatever yeah that's do what like do you do you think they keep it well that's like the queen the whole royal family british royal family yeah they were because they were like someone's gonna get this money right yeah

and they're like someone's gonna get these bags do you think what happened is they went to the people and they're like we have a big inheritance for you obviously there's one stipulation or do you think it's the other way around where there was like the first guy that started it really wanted to have sex with his cousin and he was like you know we can keep their the money no he goes i don't make the rules you literally do make the rules though he goes yeah but it's like it's kind of an unwritten rule before i made it formally but it's already gotta kind of keep it in the family, you know? He's like,

do you think he's kind of going to his cousin and being like, fucking suck if these people got our money, huh? Actually, I have a freaking...

The Gentiles got some of our money. You mean, yeah, I got an idea so crazy it just might work. That's the other thing. Rosé's basically

like a Zionist. Yeah, she's a hardcore Zionist. Yeah, she's a hardcore Zionist. Yeah. She's a big-time Jew. Okay, I got a... Speaking of... I don't know if we were speaking of this.

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So this is, what was the festival that we were sort of, a 21 festival or whatever? Yeah, a 21 festival, like the Manly Festival. Yeah, we sort of went through it and it was like the best festival ever you bring your chick and they give her like literally a home ec class and then the dudes go to like how to fucking cheat on you get a side piece festival so it's amazing but they have these like alpha festivals or whatever and this is the guy so he's giving i'm not sure if you think that, I would consider us an alpha podcast minus one. Yeah.

So I think that Danny could start. I could use some of this? You might, I don't know. What do you think? Some alpha training? Okay. Just never be a beta. Just never, ever do it.

It is death. Never, ever, ever do it. Okay? He's talking to you. He's talking to us all. He's talking to us all he's talking to us all never be it's crazy that like someone bought tickets to this like he's not talking to nobody well they're all sitting there with their pen and paper i know that but he's like in a conference center and he's like doing this whole thing but like people bought tickets for this fucking dweeb

to be like never be a beta yeah this is what i'm thinking like we're not like super super jacked guys not particularly like good looking this is the movie we need you know what i mean it's like you go to like an alpha seminar yeah that's can you picture yeah you walk in on your husband he's like what are you been up to and he's just like sitting there like with while this guy yells at him yeah he has some he has some points though just wipe that out of your mind it is nothing good comes from that. Ever. Okay? The only thing good is if you're in jail and you're about to get shot.

You're like, okay, okay. You know? Other than that. The only time you're allowed in. Is if you're in jail. That's the only time you should ever be a bit. Because tons of people get shot in jail. You know what this is? You get shot in jail.

I get that. Obviously, the point that they're sort of making is you think that sometimes you're going to roll over for your boss or whatever but it's like even if there is any truth to like what he's saying what you actually get is a bunch of betas walking around like bumping into people you know what i mean their boss being like hey i need you to come in a couple minutes uh early tomorrow he goes no one pushes me around dude it's a bunch of people putting their foot down yeah no it's like weird times that's what this leads to it's like It's a bunch of people putting their foot down. Yeah, no, it's like literally... I like weird times. That's what this leads to. It's like if you get an actual beta person,

then you try and teach them how to do pickup, and then you go like... So when you talk to a girl, you want to maybe like neg them. It's that. And then they walk up and they go, what's up, you stupid, ugly, whore bitch? You're an idiot.

Yeah, you're a fucking idiot, and I don't want to have sex with you, and you're an ugly bitch in a whore. Well, the game says isolator, and you put a blanket over her head. Put like a net with those weights on the bottom. It's not what we meant. A little nuance here.

You know what it sort of teaches you? It's like sort of a short guy syndrome seminar. You may see him walk around and bump it in. I would pay to see that camera turn around. I'd like to see the audience too. I would love to see the audience. They don't show you that, really. If you're in a free society, don't do it.

It just doesn't happen. It cannot happen, okay? That's in the mirror in the morning. And by the way, the sooner you accept this, the easier your life gets. You're like, oh, life is actually awesome when you accept it. As long as you don't accept it and you're like, I just want someone to like me for the real beta me, your life's... He's talking to you now because you said things like that. I just want someone to like me for the real beta me your life that's he's talking to you now because you said things like that i want i just want people to like me for the

beta me that's what maybe there is nobody there because you don't actually hear anybody maybe he literally is just filming that and pretending like there's people there have you ever that's possible that is possible we've had that conversation with your girlfriend where you go i just want you to accept me for the real beta me just expect me for the real beta me danny i think you should work out you go why don't you accept me for the real beta me. Just expect me for the real beta me. Danny, I think you should work out. You go, why don't you accept me for the real beta me? Brunch will be ready shortly. You're in your apron.

You know who it's basically? The boyfriend from Righteous Gemstones. Yeah. I just want you to accept me for the real beta me. I love it. I love this guy. It's going to be freaking miserable. People around you will be miserable, and you will be miserable.

So just get over it. Now, it doesn't mean I'm paranoid. Get over it. They's going to be freaking miserable. People around you will be miserable, and you will be miserable. So just get over it. Now, okay, it doesn't mean I'm paranoid. Alpha girls are comfortable with themselves. Now, going from there, what you have, okay, the number one trait of an alpha is self-comfort. So just... So that's it. There's a little more, but it goes on and on.

Number one trait of an alpha is self-comfort. You're fairly comfortable, so you got a little bit of alpha in you. Yeah, very comfortable. Sort of a comfortable guy. Likes comfortable clothing. Aprons, track pants. Just accept me for the real me. Dude, would a beta podcast like this?

I don't have a... There's sort of a weird mix because it's like... Would a beta do a podcast like this? Well, this is the... Is this how a beta podcast? Would two betas be a podcast like this? Well, this is the... Is this how a beta podcast? Would two betas be kicked back like this? For those listening at home, I'm really reclining right now. Well, that's the thing, though.

There's sort of a bit of a contradiction between cool and beta, right? Yeah. Because cool posture is more like kind of slouched a little. And then if you think of typical, you know, kind of slouched a little, you know? And then, like, if you think of typical, like, you know what I mean? Cool guy, it's almost like you don't give a shit posture. And then, like, alpha posture is, like, as straight as possible, right? That is true.

So there's sort of like a— Well, you got to find the kind of happy medium there. Well, how do you find a medium between, like, walking around like this and then sort of, like, cool? Because you sort of like because there's an i would say that most guys that there was like the cool guy that's like uh he doesn't sort of really walk around like that is too stiff yeah yeah sort of neck stiff the body doesn't move very straight back yeah i get whenever i see an adult like a 40 year old guy

with like a real straight back Like you're really Sitting it up straight I usually think like Oh he's like Making health adjustments But when you see like Someone that's 25 like that It kind of comes across

As like he's trying to prove something Yeah he's trying to fight This guy's not He's not Yeah the 25 year old Is more like What's up bro Like a rapper

You never see a rapper With like perfect Like upright posture Yeah that is a function of age, I think. I think the older you get, the more it makes sense. If you're 65 and you're straight up, that's alpha behavior. Did you see RFK trying to exert... That dude is an absolute HRT...

He was doing push-ups, but they weren't good push-ups. Oh, he's 70. Yeah, but why post that online? He's basically doing girl push-ups. Yeah, he's doing knee push-ups. Oh, he's 70. Yeah, but why post that online? He's basically doing girl push-ups. Yeah, he's doing knee push-ups. That's weird. Well, that was... Is that jacked?

Well, he's jacked from hormone and testosterone and stuff. Like, he's HRT or HGH or whatever and TRT and stuff. Yeah. That's what makes you super jacked. Dude, he's got the veins, like the arm veins. That's from injecting yourself. Yeah, because he wasn't really that jacked if you see the old videos of him everybody's late in life jack dude everybody's

dunking on him because they were like yeah he's yeah he did like eight sets oh he did like an incline bench like 115 pounds everybody's like yeah this is the guy who's so jacked you're like yeah he is 70 though yeah you're like i mean he looks jacked i'm not saying he's not strong i'm just saying like why put bad push-ups on the internet yeah that is a good question I mean he makes some questions what was you you were telling me he had some RFK fact

what was it oh yeah yeah he had this note this notebook came out there was this not to you said it was some alpha shit I don't want to air

super dirty laundry because it's not that podcast but it was in like New York Post and stuff but it's a news story yeah yeah it was a news story

so he had this notebook that was found in his like old house because you were talking about we were talking about his current wife uh larry david's wife who found the notebook it was like someone when they were like moving or something could be all total bullshit but it's like in his handwriting and so this dude is rfk used to be a dog that's like a real like no but he was like a sex addict like where he was writing i like this guy where he was reading writing about how he was destroying his how he was destroying his life oh so he was writing in the journal journal do you think that that's just like an alpha move and then he left

it around for someone to find like could you not picture yourself doing something like that where you leave a journal and then every page is like can't stop smashing dude literally like that's what it is and he would give a number for all but anyway so he took down three more tens so he was giving um a number for every girl but it was weird okay it's on the new york's his secret sex diary um that's what they call you can look it up on new york post so he would every day that he didn't fuck a chick he would write victory for that day that was a win was when he didn't smash a chick right i swear to god and so then he would give all these girls numbers um so there's but they're weird there's only uh it is sort of a victory though if you are trying not to smash and you go to the bar i have he's a kennedy i legit have had that in my

life though where it's like you know what i mean you were at the at the bar and you go to the bar i have he's a kennedy i legit have had that in my life though where it's like you know what i mean you were at the at the bar and you're single or whatever and then you go home and you just like go home eat a piece of pizza and go to sleep and you are like that was a big that actually was a victory but for him he was like married but so i mean it's very like tragic but his previous wife like this is the story i don't know how much there is to it but she killed herself and they say it was because it was like all his cheating or whatever they divorced or whatever i don't know but anyways i'm not gonna pay no mind to that no i'm not gonna pay no mind to that either but dude that's not his fault he's millions of guys who got busted his uncle no no but first

off he comes from maybe the most famous family of fucking dog pound that is the dog that's a dog dude he's like you could probably get ass thrown at you like in salmon Clinton probably deep heed some check back at all RFK like yeah so anyways but he had this notebook that came out that he denies he's like that's not mine he says is not he denies it I think my guess is it is but yeah he says he grappled with his his biggest defect is grappling with his last humans. That's his second biggest defect, obviously. Well, this is pre-The Voice.

This is pre-The Voice. This is from 2001. Do you think The Voice is what put him out of commission in the dog film? Yeah, even though we... That's a little hard to pick up chicks with The Voice. You know what I mean? Not when you're him, though. I'm telling you, it's hard to pick up chicks when your voice is gone.

Yeah. I don't think when you're a candidate, when your voice is gone yeah not i don't think when you're a candidate when your uncle's oh come on going up to girls did you fall from this guy the thing is i don't think he needs to say anything that's yeah but anyways he would put numbers from 1 to 10, and the codes corresponded to sexual acts. Oh, that's getting out of here. 10 meaning intercourse.

So he kept a long list of all the chicks he was smashing with what he did with them. What he did with them? There was 37 women named in the ledger, 16 of whom get 10s, which means those are smashes. And then there was a lot of notes of him basically being like, good for you, you won the day by not like... Because I guess these hoes are after him.

I love him, dude. They're after him nonstop, though. It's like hard day's night. I know. The hoes do get after you. They're trying to get him. He's a Kennedy. Those hoes out there are thirsty.

Dude, if you get impregnated by a Kennedy... You're cooking. Set. You are cooking. We're set. Yeah, so I can see... And honestly, that is so funny though the idea of leaving the journal uh just kind of on the like leaving it somewhere very obvious

open to the main page where it's like one day of no tens good work rob bobby bobby take a day apparently that that's like his personally i guess based on this given the pecker a break. That was his one issue with himself. He could just not. He couldn't resist. Couldn't resist the ladies. That's a high T. And that cost him his marriage, I guess. That's a high T, man. And now it's super high T.

He's at the point where he's got that much T and now he's just injecting it straight into himself. I wonder if he's out there banging now. Probably now it's a little high profile. He's got the T running through his veins again. No, no. He's got the tea running through his veins again. That is true. That's probably a monster

coming back. That probably, yeah, he probably is like, I want to be jacked. The demon's probably coming back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It probably does bring

the demon back. The demon for sure brings the demon back because you're right, you get 60, 70, you lose a bit of the demon. It doesn't go all the way away but that tea starts

flowing through your body. I mean, you look at photos of him, you're like, he looks better than like his body looks. He's more jacked than he is. He's right in the mirror, right?

He's flexing in the mirror, and his demon, we need Tang, get us Tang. He goes, we don't do that anymore. We don't do that anymore. We're into vaccines now. We're not Tang guys. Get us Tang.

Yeah, he denies that this was his journal, but it seems like. Well, regardless of whether it was his journal or his Tang man. The New York Post, which I just called a tabloid confirms that it's true. But the point is that he gets Tang. I also don't confirm the New York Post bullshit about that.

But again, a Kennedy getting Tang is like, that ain't news. I guess so. But it is an interesting part about him. He's a Tang hound and now he's teed up. Buddy, I'll tell you what. I feel the sex drive going up when you're actually getting jacked. Okay, because a lot of times I switch back and forth from running to working out. Oh, apparently the ex-wife found it.

The wife at the time found the notebook. And then she says she was so distraught over their impending divorce and Kennedy's serial philandering that she committed suicide. Imagine getting busted. Imagine getting busted. You walk in, she's with your journal, where you talk about every girl. You imagine, like, that is dead to rights.

I guess you could be like, no, no, no, no. I write down, like, stories. It's like, basically basically i'm writing stories instead of actually doing it yeah i guess yeah nice try maybe we're giving you not a fucking kennedy yeah she knows what's up also what are the kennedy's nuts getting sucked the victories the de santis on the other hand a little bit of dog behavior too speaking of politicians so probably one of my favorite things in the world so ron desantis he's his campaign a lot of people are starting i got a lot of people have sort of turned on him and i actually i've been sort of saying from the beginning

i'm not the biggest him guy i'm sure he's a good governor if you live in florida or whatever but i'm a more of a biden guy too but the reason for that and i've been trying to put my finger on it for six months and it's not him specifically it's the same as it's just like my a lot of people i've just i like and i said some version of this but i sort of i became clear in my mind i just like people that are like thinkers that's who like attracted to me attractive to me yeah it's like men and women that have like interesting thoughts you know what i mean of course so i really like all the people that i like like even like my best friends in my life a lot of times like it's someone who said like something that i'm like oh that's i've never even thought of it like that i'm like i just like like

you know kind of like somebody like got to the bottom of something or has some interesting things ron desantis is that for you for me then the other side of that is politicians who are like politicians of twitter consensus yeah and and i get why people like it because they're like yeah that's what i want them to do it's like me and my movement comes up with an issue that we are agree upon and then they go make legislation based on it that's what a politician should do yeah they want them very reliable to well that's aoc to the left-wing people it's like hey we're mad about this issue she goes and complains about it and takes it to congress or whatever wherever they do it yeah do you know what i mean so i think i get why people like the politicians that are like yeah they're gonna just look at what the consensus

is on twitter but i i think a better leader is someone that like it's they it's the same in comedy i like comedians that like or even like political commentators that like don't always just agree with everything their audience says for sure yeah even like with trump or whatever it's like there's a few things where he goes i don't know this china deal doesn't make sense to me like you like unpredictability for sure like you don't want yeah maybe that's a part of it but i think i think that's a person in general what makes someone like yeah but i think for some conservatives they're like i don't want unpredictability they They're like, I want very predictable, just like, we'll do exactly what I vote for them to do and no deviation. Well, same as I'm sure that, yeah, AOC, if we're mad about this death, I want her to go complain about it and try to make laws about it, right?

Yeah. Yeah, so I think that's just, for me, that's what, like, I just see it as kind of, like, replace them with person X a lot of times. And maybe there's obviously no one's, like, binary, but I think I, that's why I like to like people that they kind of say that, yeah, I mean, Obama even like always was kind of like, he was never just completely in line. He was sort of leading them a little bit.

Yeah. That's a good way to, there was an old thing in music where they said the bands that, that, uh, their fans dressed like them versus the bands that started dressing like their fans. And I think that that like kind of describes everything where it's like the politicians that start uh thinking

and acting like their base versus the like they lead a base to start acting like them and i think i just i prefer i personally am more attracted to the one and i see him as a little more of like a twitter consensus guy and i see yeah i don't know what the polls are at currently but yeah i don't know the whole republican uh like just leadership thing rfk is not a twitter consensus guy he has his own opposite of it he's literally fucking saying wi-fi is causing he's saying here's the things i think yeah yeah but i think that goes for me with people comedians musicians anything yeah right i agree yeah yeah but anyways oh the reason i brought yeah i was gonna say we're going ronda sanctimonious ronda sanctimonious this is so funny so basically his campaign he posted a tweet and he goes

it's almost my wife casey's birthday and i want to surprise her with your support she's standing with me by my side in this fight for freedom and i want to show her how much our team appreciates her will you add your name next to mine on her birthday card so basically for her birthday present i guess you could say the worst present ever so this is what ronda sanders is getting his wife if you sign up for his mailing list your name goes on her birthday card then he gives it to her do you have to give money or just sign up i don't know if you give money i think it was i felt like it was a campaign. Money to his campaign. I guess he's farming emails, but like, man, if I ever gave a girl a fucking birthday present where I go, great news, I just signed up nine people to my Patreon on your behalf.

It's basically your Patreon too, though. Exactly. I'm sure she's in on this whole bullshit. She wants to be first lady, no question. I'm loving the idea of that as your birthday present. It's like I got my followers to sign a card for you. Yeah, just a bunch of random people. I crowdfunded a birthday card so I could farm names for my email list.

Happy birthday. Because of the popularity of this, we know for a fact that there will be no birthday card. There's not even gonna be a card he says you give her a printed out list it's like an excel spreadsheet you email her pdf yeah here's a spreadsheet with everybody's name and happy birthday i guess yeah what's the worst gift you've ever done that i've ever given yeah uh i don't know what the worst gift i've ever given does like count when i was like six or something no to a girl i mean oh to a girl the worst gift i've ever given

have you ever had a balls to give a bad gift the best gift because you're paying for it anyway sort of so you put pop that on the docket uh i don't know i'm generally not into like i won't give a gift if i'm just gonna half-ass it so i wish i'm more you go all in i don't go all in but i'm generally not into like i won't give a gift if i'm just gonna half-ass it so i wish i'm more you go all in i don't go all in but i'm not like i'm not crazy i want you to accept me as my beta self i've never been a that's all that's what you asked for for christmas you're fucking beta way up there dude like you're slouching that's beta posture according to this guy's alpha dude this is chill alpha you go hey um what do you want for your birthday you go i want one thing and one thing only for you to accept me as my beta self uh i don't know i actually just want one simple word it shouldn't be too hard for you and that word starts with an a and ends with an

acceptance um yeah i don't know i don't know what the worst in there right i'd uh i've i've i i mean back in the day i would go funny i remember I was dating I'd go probably only like Nine months But not too crazy And you know If you Funny you can Like I basically did a

Picture of my abs Which I don't really have abs And then I put it In a picture frame And gave it to her Printed it And put it in a picture frame Seven dollar photo

And I was like There you go That's a good thought That counts And it seems like And it was Suits my personality Of being a zany guy

Yeah That's not fair That is a good one to be honest that is a good one though it was it was sort of probably get some points there that's like thought that counts it was a thought that counts it was the it was the like 24 year old equivalent or whatever however old i was 24 year old something like that equivalent of uh making your mom a drawing. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Well,

here's a rock with some googly eyes glued onto it. Exactly. So we talked about this in our intro, Brett, the pride versus Muslims versus Armenians. There is quite the, uh, well,

it's a, I'm, I'm rooting. See, I'm sort of unpartisan. What I want them to do is do a cage match, and they have all the kids. Hell in the cell!

Yeah, they do hell in the cell. And it's like Muslims versus, basically Armenians versus Antifa, and they have a cage, right? Yeah. And then they have the kids basically sitting on, they have the one full class of kids sitting on a platform that has two buttons,

and then basically whoever wins gets to press one of the buttons, sort of like when they grab the belt at WrestleMania. So they walk out whoever is the last in there goes and presses the button and there's one button that puts the kids into a pit of drag queens and dildos and there's one

that puts the pit into basically a church. Okay. I like the Antifa versus the Armenians, though, because when they probably are yelling at each other, then the Antifa is like, there's a transgenocide going on, and then the Armenians are like,

yeah, you want to talk about genocide, huh? All right. All right. All right. Get the swords! Yeah, swords versus bike locks. Yeah. One. It is versus bike locks. Yeah. They go, one.

It is. Kind of a sore spot for us because nobody will acknowledge our fucking genocide. Swords versus bike locks. It's just all the guys there with their bike locks and all the guys there with their swords. But like the trans people are whatever, Antifa, but it's the same kind of thing. But they're always like, there's a trans genocide. And generally nobody can respond being like, yeah, well, we also have a genocide. So this is the one where they kind of met their match where they're like oh shit you ever seen the you have to pay the troll tour to get into the boys hall from always sunny yeah it's kind of like that

because they are sort of uh battling over their kids buttholes you know what i mean like that it's sort of the big battle for you know whether they get to teach the kids about butt sex at five years old. At four years old, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So they basically have the curriculum in a net on the top, and they have Bibles on the net on the top. All the butt sex pamphlets come down.

And the kids are all going for them. And then right when the Armenian's so close to the Bible, they pull out the bike lock and they lock them to the cage so they can't reach it. They're like, ah! They're like, I'm stuck on a cage. Oh, that's good shit.

That's what I'm thinking it is, though. It's a hell in the cell. Armenians versus a team of trans people to find out whether the kids get to learn they like go under the ring and they pull out just huge dildos and stuff instead of folding chairs yeah and then the armenians come out and they have like scripture tablets they pull out tablets yeah giant like stone tablets just break them over their back that's like essentially what's going on and then so there's been lots of controversy because basically the armenians versus tifa and then that was that

and then there's the muslims ones and then i love the huge controversies because basically the armenians are just normal and then this is a huge controversy is they're just normal and then they just don't want to do well i don't want to go along with this stuff anymore because they basically they were also there was like the big video right now where the kids the people are like we're coming for your children yeah we're coming for your children yeah that was an interesting community note because they were trying to pass that off gonna teach those kids they ain't a boy or a girl well they're literally like they're like we're here we're queer We're coming for your kids. And then they were like all,

at one point they go, we've been saying that since the 70s. That's how that is. There you go. We've been saying that since the 70s. Everyone's denying it. Or whatever. And then they're like, no.

Then there was a community note saying like, no, this only started in 2021. But if you want to know something really interesting with all this stuff is go watch like the New York Gay Pride Parade from 2005. What are you saying? It's so different. If you go watch, in 1970, the first one in New York City, they're all just wearing suits and shit.

It's like the middle of summer. Is that true? Dude, it looks like- I would have assumed it was more grimy back then. No. It has been, you can honestly- it's it's almost like a march at that point it's like linear yeah it was like a legit i think it was probably still a party though no the first one was not i mean it was okay i remember 20 years ago it was a party 20 years

ago yeah yeah it was a party i remember this is like my one of my earliest memories is my family went to center island yeah and we got stuck in the pride parade accidentally my dad was about to have a conniption right dude we're fucking i'm like i'm like seven yeah like i don't know like under 10 for sure right and then my dad takes a wrong it's like a fucking scene in a movie right my dad's got the family he's playing he's got his music blasting the good old hockey game center island and then he takes a wrong turn and ends up in the pride parade and there was guys like dicks on the window and shit and then one guy my dad's like roll the windows up get the wind kids get the windows turning on the wipers like and then this is i'll never forget this so this guy wearing like a bondage outfit comes up to the

window of my brothers were sitting in my one brother's two and he comes he goes we're proud we're gay so get out of our way and you're like i'm trying yeah it's one of my like earliest memories yeah i don't know maybe it's because of youtube but i was watching them on 22 years ago yeah well you said you're under 10 so that's probably 30 years ago but right even still i was watching on youtube and you're like it just didn't seem like quite that uh is extreme maybe i think you're wrong you just saw some one part you know yeah i think it was this see this is to me i mean the ones in the 70s were definitely not like if you look pre-2000 they were like the one in new york was like way tamer than now for sure okay maybe that be the case but i think that if you want to

get to the heart of the issue but there's two the ones the like curriculum stuff and that's that but i'm talking about the actual pride parade where people complaining that like people are you know helicopter in their dicks all the kids are there whatever i mean whatever my beef is with people who bring their kids to it it's like the people i like i get that people are like there's people naked but you're like there's going to be people naked here it's like you're if you don't want kids there your issue should be with people who bring their kids there yeah not with the people getting naked i think that makes sense yeah um but the probably uh the the more like overarching issue is like it's almost like the same thing that like artists have pride needs to decide whether they're like a wild party or they're gone corporate

yeah it's like it's almost like the problem is because they they want to be like there's there's sort of like a disconnect with half the gays being like yo this is a wild like hero like a fucking drug filled like vendor for adults dude i couldn't buy coffers anywhere last weekend i tried sold out right and half the people are like this is this family friendly. And the problem is the disconnect. Because you have like a bank float. And it's like, I think it's the disconnect that's probably going on, period, where it's like, some people are like, yeah, this is like a wild, crazy party event for adults. And half the people are like, this is like a celebration, just like the Santa Claus parade.

And it was like, but Santa Claus is wearing a friggin' He's got a ball gag in and a fuckin' butt plug. Santa Claus parade. And it was like, but Santa Claus is wearing... He's got a ball gag in and a fucking butt plug. Santa Claus is riding a reindeer Sibian. Yeah. And it's only Prancer. It's all Prancers. They're all Prancers.

Yeah, it's... And believe me, there's gonna be snow. Yeah. I mean, whatever. If you want to fucking fuck up your kid and bring And believe me, there's going to be snow. Yeah. I mean, whatever. If you want to fucking fuck up your kid and bring another... Well, there's that. But I think the real thing is that.

It's like they almost need... Their leadership needs to decide. Be like, are we going corporate? Are we going to stay fun? Well, if they want that corporate... I vote fun. Yeah. Fun would be way better.

I've been to a pride parade in Toronto before. It was fine. But then it's like it's not a kid's thing at that point. It's like a fucking... I've never thought it was a kid's thing. it's like kids they just were you know they kind of kept going along and along and yeah it's it really is you know what i mean yeah but i mean again i guess like in the you know you ever watch like these history is this weird is it a weird degenerate thing or is it like a normal thing you ever watch like you go is this like a degenerate

like crazy thing where people are or is this or is there nothing out of the ordinary about this lifestyle it's perfectly normal i don't yeah yeah i mean it's always like uh based on the times you ever see like in those old like history shows or whatever where like there'll be like a beheading in in france in like the 1600s and it's like it's family affair you're like happens at one o'clock in the afternoon the whole family comes out to just like watch a beheading yeah bring all your kids get some like popcorn and you just like watch a beheading yeah bring all your kids get some like popcorn and you're just like watch a beheading you do you do make somewhat of a point because they're like oh look at these like they're doing in front of kids they're like kids that their

parents brought them there to see that yeah exactly you're like yeah i don't know i'm sure some families back in the day were probably like hey man we don't want our kids seeing a fucking beheading i don't care if it's the queen but this is the thing if you're the guy with your dick out you should be definitely on the side of like i don't want them here yes for sure which they are not they're definitely but if it does go corporate like if you're saying like our fucking thing is like super normal and it's corporate there's nothing you know abnormal about this lifestyle yeah then then at that point it's like probably it's like gonna be held to the same standards as any other parade you know what i mean like you're at that point you're held to the same standards

as carabana like carabana can't like carabana is literally kind of the same parade in a lot of ways because it's basically like well there's no it's a lot of like nudity a lot of everything but but that's what i mean if carabana had like nine like Caribbean dudes with their like dicks out walking around like people would be like what the fuck's going on with Carabana

yeah if you want to know the hypocrisy get ten guys at Carabana doing that and there'll be an uproar like people will be like this is fucking you know

well that's because it's corporate they've sort of accepted you know what I mean they just yeah so that's what that's what I always say

that you have to walk around Carabana with your eyes closed basically every it's the most always say you have to walk around Carabana with your eyes closed basically every it's the most fighty fucking you literally walk around Toronto and nine guys the only thing I can think

of fightier is like maybe after the fucking UFC match you know what I mean it's just everyone being like what are you looking at I'll just look at the floor

if I don't want to fucking get nine fights every bar has 25 fights that's at night the parade's more like chicks and feathers. Yeah, that's where I used to live in Toronto was right by there.

They would be all in my neighborhood like walking around. It was so funny. So I'm fine with either, but I think there's a decision to be made. Are you corporate or are you degenerate? I'm fine with it.

I just wouldn't bring my kids to it. Yeah. I don't know. I'd bring your kids to it. I'd go, boys, he's not going to show you. Hey, you want to ride a fucking old groover along over there bringing my kids? I would bring Danny's kids and I'd go boys I would bring Danny's kids

And I'd go listen This is what your dad does And he's not going to show you He'll never have the fucking stones to admit it So I'm going to have to out him to you now Because he is not proudful of what he does Show the funniest part of Osama There's like a lot of videos

Where like there's some guy reading the Bible Up right And people are circling Hitting him with stuff I saw but there's like a lot of videos where like there's some guy reading the bible up right now and they're like people are circling they're circling just like hitting him with stuff but here's the here's the one thing that I saw weird it's like I always say most uh guy to girl trans when you go guy to girl they like go pretty hard on trying to you know act like a woman because you know women act like gay guys so they're already like halfway there usually most of the time you know what I mean but it's like the girls that go to guys they still like do all the pride stuff so there's like a lot of these like those videos that i saw and it was like basically a girl like cuts the boobs off

basically has her shirt has his shirt off i guess now so it's like a a trans man but he's like baby i was born this way he's like scars and everything yeah but my point is it was like a gay guys don't do that well gay men do well like are they acting like gay men but they're not gay men because they like women right i don't know well it's like my thing is like i feel like i should take some of these under my wing and be like listen like almost like if you're yo you turn into a guy at like 25 they should get like a liaison for like six months to be like, yo, this is the kind of shit dudes do. It's like, listen, all this dancing to Britney Spears shit, that's out.

We don't do that. Like what you do is like, cause that would have got socialized out of them, right? If you were the guy that was like, I'm a straight man that was like at the high school dance, like baby, I was born this way. And you're fat with your shirt off, people would would be so bad that you'd stop doing that. Or you'd transition into being the party animal guy, in which case you'd be dancing to rap, not girl music. You know what I mean?

So I think someone needs to be like, listen. Okay, first of all. Well, look, but they're not guys. Wow. Not yet, because they haven't done my program. They're just not going to get to that. They need to go to the alpha male program that's more like you're talking more like butch lesbian and butch lesbians are like they're comfortable in that like lane and they do want to be like closer to guys

and they probably would do more i know but why okay but you're like hey i just don't get away to be like hey i feel like a man i'm really a born. Have you ever done that in your life? Yeah. But, no, but I. You get the beer up. You go, listen. Yeah. So, first of all. Fucking get a dip in there.

You knock their, like, cooler out of their hand. And you replace it with a shot of whiskey. And you go, here you go. Here's a, you knock the coolers out of their hand and put a Miller there. And then you go, hold that up. Yeah. And then when this song's playing, when they start playing, like, baby, I was born this way. Or, like, shit like that. You go, you sort of take a step back. And then when this song's playing, when they start playing like, baby, I was born this way, or like that,

you go, you sort of take a step back. And go, gay! Yeah, you let the women and... You want to be a real man. No, I think a lot of them are non-binary. So they're kind of a bit of both, right? So then that's how they do all these conflicting things at once. You go, let's put a Hawaiian shirt over you. I guess it's sort of the non-binary

that's the they're the non-binary where they'll like have the mastectomy but they're still kind of like not i guess that's what it is lesbians yeah so which we but it's not again it's not non-binary you're like oh i'm neither gender it's like well you're no you are doing a gender you're doing girl shit all right well you heard it here first everybody ryan long says there's only two genders extra extra only two genders ryan long says it is so i'm saying i can tell yeah listen if you saw someone and they're out there like you just want them to be old school lesbians how you doing like bush lesbians well they're acting like but they're they that's the thing. They took an even more drastic step to be less drastic than a Bush lesbian. If it's not the social behavior, then what is it?

If you're saying like, if someone came up to you and be like, Have you ever heard of activism? I just feel like such a man. You go, what? And you go, there is nothing feminine about you. And they go, I can't believe that people think i'm a woman and you're just like you know where's the gossip corner and you go yeah it doesn't sound like you're like i think it might be atrazine what's that it's the stuff that's making the frogs gay okay that's uh rfk was getting on that as well but that was the

thing that that uh alex jones french people he was doing a slur but that was the thing that that uh alex jones french people he was doing a slur but that was the thing that rfk was saying too where there's like this chemical that it's like makes the frogs change their sex or whatever that's that's one theory that's one theory about that about what you're yeah what you're explaining right here so they were a man but they got a little bit of the frog serum yeah they got some frog juice in them and then they're like a little that's the thing it's like they get the mastectomy so it's kind of working but then they're like acting like a gay man and you go there's something not lining up here that's one theory so then people hear it here first that's what happens when i i take a second breather

it's fucking silence i was waiting for you to say something so that i could interrupt you i was trying to figure out i was trying to figure out the time thing and then i thought for maybe you'd be able to fucking hold the cast for two seconds pregnant pause ryan the polish okay don't realize that about him i'm gonna take a quick second here because we got to tell you about ag1 of course we've been telling you but i use it every single morning this is one drink you pop the powder in give her a little shakerino give her a little shaker. And this is the first thing that I do every day. You might be tired of taking all these supplements.

You want a better single solution that supports your entire body, covers the nutritional bases every day. I did it because I want better gut health, a boost in immune system support. I'm always traveling all over the place, which is something I need. I hate taking vitamins and pills. And also, I'm shaking traveling all over the place, which is something I need. I hate taking vitamins and pills. And also, I'm shaking 10 million hands. So that's another reason why I personally want immune system support.

But there's a million reasons. You want a supplement that actually tastes great, which is probably one of the only ones. So I drink AG1 in the morning before working out. I like to give my body the nutrition it craves. And I'm covering the nutritional basis. It's hard to keep up with a supplement routine that comes with a bunch of different products, you know? Also, it's hard to know who to trust and what supplements to take. You've heard Ricky Gervais talk about it.

You've heard Joe Rogan talk about it. You've been hearing us talk about it. Why take a bunch of things when you can mix one scoop of powder and water once a day? My AG1 is delivered to me every month, so it's been super easy to make a daily habit. I also get the single serving AG1 travel pack, so I never miss a day. I just mix the powder into ice cold water and drink it first thing in the morning. Sometimes I actually put an ice cube in it. Ooh.

That's it. Helps with the shaking. Yeah, it does help with the shaking actually quite a bit. With AG1, taking good care of my body each day really is that simple. If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase. Go to drinkag1.com slash boyscast. That's drinkag1.com slash boyscast and check it out. Okay, so I'll just, moving on, sort of. Yep. But basically, there was one that Tony found

where basically they do, there's a Texas university that's offering like a drag queen courses or whatever. Yeah. And it was just like, if you were thinking that gender studies was useless before, basically it's a four-year degree to make you unemployable. I can't believe this is at a Christian university as well.

I know, I thought it was really weird. But it's pretty funny because basically, it's just this school where one of the courses you go and at the end of the year you got to do like a drag performance and all this sort of stuff right and they go and they basically teach kids that gender binary is a tool of white supremacy and by bisexual blogger kravitz marshall and this is kind of the whole thing that's going there right and it's like it's really switched from the age where gender studies was like a poontang hound class literally that used to be like that was the thing there's the i know right there's probably some dad telling his kid like you really want to get all the girls you

go to gender study you're looking around like what the because i don't know if any of these people are girls yeah but they're not guys either yeah yeah like a bro down but it's not a bunch of chicks that I want because that used to be the place where you would what wave of feminism was that? it was like an industry secret that you take that class as 90% chicks it's just you had to be

it was so blatant that when you did it and you were like one of the dudes in this class but everybody's also like you know what he's doing now you got the pick of the dumpster. Yeah. Yeah. What wave of feminism are we on right now?

I don't know. It was a few waves ago. I don't know. I've just been riding the wave. I don't keep count. So that was funny to me that like the extent to which like that used to be like a pussy getting class

and then you're just like, you're like all the chicks, you and then you're just like you're like all the chicks you go there and you go and they're like well they all have buzz cuts and fucking i heard me to die i heard a new term on this thing because i guess because the fee for the course it's a eight-week course 650 bones okay but for queer transgender and students of the global majority have you ever heard that because they're not minorities anymore but but then it says in brackets it says bipoc right so then so bipoc which is black indigenous people of color and then that's the act which makes no sense because they're like they have a term for this but then

they're like we have another term for this because they don't like being called which is now students of the global majority that's getting that's and the crazy thing is so the students of the global majority. That's getting... And the crazy thing is, students of the global majority can pay a reduced rate of $550, but why would you get a reduced rate if you're the majority? That's why I've been always saying that about Chinese people,

they're literal majorities. Yeah, but the whole point is, you get benefits from not being a majority, now they're like, you are the majority, here's also benefits yeah i mean that's literally losing the plot here good stuff but the reason i even brought it up was because someone in the pager on sent me this other one where there's this woman because basically some people are like hey if you want to do this stuff do it at home or whatever right yeah and some people are like

you know injected into the kids veins at two whatever right but there's so some people that the areas where the schools aren't going to teach all the butt sex and stuff like that they basically uh have like private tutors are popping up and they sent me one it's like a woman and she does like zoom classes to teach sex ed to kids like ages 3 to 21 and basically but like it's how funny is it you're like pretending you're like six year old up on this zoom class and she goes if there is new there is if there is no group class option currently, or if you think a private one-on-one session would fit better, we can accommodate your child by having private, personalized, virtual classes over Google Meet.

It's an independent sex and sexuality educator. Their classes are inclusive and queer, gender diverse, body positive, fat positive, sex positive, evidence informed, and not abstinence only, blah, blah. So you basically sign up, and the brackets are as early as three, and then you do a Zoom class. To learn how to masturbate. To learn how to masturbate.

Essentially, the Zoom class is with the gay masculinity class. But the funny part is fat positive. So you've basically got i got your like five year old sitting there and just like in his chair you know like eating fruit snacks well this person is like now there's nothing wrong with the guy you're banging being 200 pounds you know like some ladies that you're gonna be no there's gonna be a little smelly down there because they're fat all right this is yeah that's I don't get why this is, why can't the type of parent who would be so into this,

you'd think could just do it at that point. You could just, that's what I think too. You're like, you're so into this that you would go to this length. So then just you're into this. It is probably better than if you want to do this wacky shit, you're on zoom.

Dude, you'll be like fucking no, but this is going to keep some of the real pervs out because like, if you're like a real top tier, like again anything where you're like hey you get to teach sex to kids is gonna have a fucking little bit of a influx of some of the pervs right yeah so you go if you keep them on zoom that is a sort of a good way to like uh fend against that my god like well imagine you're like this is a guy doing and you're like I'm sending my kid to you know the sex ed guy it's like it's in this guy's basement and we just drop him off

it's now he's in his basement but it's over zoom so better to keep on zoom bridge that gap there it is kind of weird that he's paying us to teach the kids but this should be no guys allowed that's for sure there's no like dude if you're like a grown man and you're like i why i teach people's kids how to masturbate it's like come on buddy on, buddy. I'll tell you, as girls, it's a little weirder. Well, but then the guy goes, I'm not a guy. It will turn you off sex because you know how they say that people that are sex-educated are less likely to

get pregnant early or whatever like that? I'll tell you what, if I had some 400-pound buzz-cut lady sort of teaching me how to masturbate i honestly might it's like smoking a pack of cigarettes yeah honest to god i might sit there and be like i'm honestly just might be asexual yeah i don't and she goes we have a course for that we have a course for that too and there's nothing wrong with you and uh you are valid yeah because the basic i guess

they give them like pointers and then after the masturbate they go how'd it go you treat yourself felt good if i was like 11 years old even if I had to teach and the guy's like okay so you're gonna want to be stroking yourself tonight and I'd just be like mom I don't want to be in zoom sex ed with this fucking freak crazy this is what I think

they basically need to do both right because they're trying to go too far one way, right? Where they go, listen, we're going to have your eight-year-old or whatever, and they're going to learn all about sex, and we're going to teach them about how it's good to be fat. All the stuff, yeah. We want you to read The Ethical Slut and all that stuff.

They should also have half of the teachers be like total bros. You know what I mean? Basically, they should have like, no, they have Drag Queen Story Hour. They should have like a dude that comes in and reads the fucking game to theos. You know what I mean? Like basically they should have like, no, they have drag queen story hour. They should have like a dude that comes in and reads the fucking game to the kids. You know what I mean? I like that.

Yeah. Like the, the girls get to go to this girl and the dudes get like some dude that's RFK in his prime coming in and being like, yeah. And the kids like all have to howl in unison. Oh, okay. Good. That's too much man these are the toxic

masculinity but that's what i'm saying they should fight it they should have to be like a guy that's gonna even it out yeah yeah i mean there's i wonder how much business is like there there should i be like this is my they're like my curriculum is like fat positivity and um you know queer abstinence or queer diversity and then the other guy goes my criteria is negging kicking them out in the morning fingers out everybody let's smell them let's smell isolating all that stuff just you know all the tricks balance it out you know you got to do it's like a it's a well-rounded child yeah that's what i'm saying so you do like five minutes of you know fat masturbation and then you do five minutes of peacocking everybody pull out your deck of cards we're gonna learn

some tricks exactly it's like a deck of cards That's the only way to counter it, you know what I mean? So the kids get a well-rounded education, and whichever way they lean towards, whichever way they lean towards. Whatever the cards. You end up probably with a guy that's like a pickup artist, but he's an inclusive pickup artist. He's a very respectful pickup artist. Very respectful pickup artist.

He doesn't care if you're 600 pounds. He'll still pick you up. Yep. Not obviously physically. No. No. That's a a different class so that's what i'm thinking yeah the students parents uh set a time it's one hour session 65 bucks so it's 65 bones if you want to put your kid in the masturbation seminar i don't understand why the parents wouldn't do this though because they don't want to it's awkward how could it but you're that type of parent you're that i don't want to teach my kids about masturbation but i would never sign

my kids up for this it's funny the fat parents sending them to camp where they basically the kids come and they're getting taught that like being fat's actually yeah there used to be remember there used to be a thing called fat camp yeah it's like fat camp yeah fat camp now they're like they're just like yeah now they walk in and they go they go like yeah i think you leave a hundred pounds heavier you just walk in one door and out the other door they go you were perfect yeah bucks like remember like there was like a thing in movies and stuff in the 80s was like the fat kid camp yeah that is they were always the foils did they work you think because the gate conversion camps apparently don't work

all that great i wonder if um i don't know i mean literally all fat camp was as far as i understand was like you go there and then because you're like away from anything they're just like you're in prison like they're like here's your food you don't get and then they make you exercise so you're like you have to lose weight because there's just not food for you there's only like a set amount of food but then once you leave there you just go back to be honest that would be good for me if i just got a set portions. Because my only thing is just eating too big of portions. Yeah, for sure. If you're on an island and you're stuck.

Here's your portion. Yeah, and you go, okay, yeah, I have no option other than this. And yeah, you'll lose weight for sure. So if you're looking for a job at the job fair, one of the options is teaching kids. Yeah. You think there's like a guidance counselor who's like, some like i don't know what i could do and they're like well i see you have purple hair have you ever considered masturbation counselor for four-year-olds the job fair and they

that'd be so funny if you go to the you know when they do those they used to do those things where you would do the the aptitude test yeah tell you what it was and one guy gets truck driver the other guy goes you know he goes you were exemplary on the grip grip strength test so i think uh masturbation teacher teacher to kids for you that's the perfect job for you i can take a quick second here to tell you because we want you to come see us on tour. I have been out there meeting people. We just sold out three shows. Thank you everyone

to come. Danny, where are you going to be? I'm going to be at Poughkeepsie this July 7th. Laugh it up, Poughkeepsie. And August 11th, 12th in Burlington, Ontario. Help Danny put numbers on the board in Burlington. Help him put numbers on the board in Poughkeepsie. You're going to catch me in Salt Lake July

21st, 22nd. We got New York, Tacoma. New York get those tickets because they are actually going to probably sell out and I'm not sure that I'm going to add a second one. So if you are going to do the New York show at Gramercy Theatre, Tacoma and then we are going to put the Vancouver and Toronto tickets on sale very

soon. We got Omaha, Edmonton, Los Angeles, Irvine, San Jose, Phoenix, Toronto. And we also, and people, this is on the low, but I, maybe not on the low, but I am going to add, I am going to be coming to places like London and the UK in January. And there's a lot more dates. But yeah, that's going to go, that's probably not going to go on sale for like a month or whatever. But to people who have always been asking me, it's going to happen. It's happening. So this one, and I was

actually having sort of trouble parsing this out. But there's this article where this girl wrote, she goes my wife poo shames me, now I'm embarrassed to go home. And I couldn't understand why there's a girl writing it. No, the guy gets poo shamed. That's what I thought too, but it's a girl that wrote the article. And I went through all her other articles and it was a girl. I couldn't figure it out.

What? I think maybe she just published it. Maybe she published it. It was definitely a guy. It's from the guy. The guy's getting poo shamed. Yeah, the guy's getting poo shamed. And then now she's poo shaming their kid too. It's a poo shame household. And the reason why I think this is interesting is because you,

your household is very poo- Poo-friendly? Poo-friendly. No, there's a lot of poo-shaming in my house. No, my house is- I prefer to use public toilets because I just don't want to hear the jabs about something that I got no control over. I've told my wife that the jokes are not funny and they are offensive, but she will just

dismiss it. You're offending me? This guy needs to go to the fucking alpha course. He needs to go to the alpha course. He comes up. He goes, honey, I've come back from my alpha course. He literally just drops his pants, shits on the fucking floor of the kitchen.

He goes, no more. This ends now. Clean it up. He goes, that's the best money I ever spent This guy's wife's walking around with a fucking gas mask on I don't like it if a girl tries to make a big ordeal about it too Oh my god Oh good lord

She comes out in a fucking biohazard suit Yeah So do you have that? That's the kind of conversations you have in your household the of shaming well you and your girlfriend are terrence and fucking philip yeah yeah so far off but um no no you never comment no it's not on hers well sometimes it's a joke i will but you know i i know what you mean you're like i like i'll like i'll go be like oh my god but like it's never there's never anything actually what about to you

do you ever get this uh yeah for sure what happens is it more so it's like a later match or something and then it'll be more like it's like the david tell joke you know it's like you ever like go in someone's bathroom and then it like they just sprayed something and you're like ah you just did something smelly yeah and it happened five minutes before i got here no but i'm saying do no no i'm saying do you get shamed no i don't get shit no uh no i don't get shamed it is no not like this like she sounds like he actually has a real issue with this absolutely disgusting it smells more like you ate roadkill absolutely horrendous this is like to the point where this guy's like i need to go shit at work in my own home she basically does the wrestling

announcer oh my god that one was absolutely horrendous what a massive dump is that corn that toilet's been massacred smells like you ate roadkill this is uh like the fact here's the thing that i don't even understand is like it's pretty easy to cover up your tracks if you like you ate roadkill this is uh like the fact here's the thing that i don't even understand is like it's pretty easy to cover up your tracks if you like you really just went and blew it up like yeah so it's either he's so close the door once and i didn't like it close the door afterwards oh yeah a long time ago it still stuck with me i didn't like the i didn't like it yeah i mean that's what matches are for they're like literally maybe one of the greatest solutions to that problem that's ever been simplest.

Or the sprays or whatever. But the matches are really just done. This guy is living in hell right now. But again, what is he doing? That's the thing. She's like, this is psychological warfare because he can just clean it up and fucking light a match and that's that. He says it's not even that bad.

That's what I'm saying. But then she's going in there and probably it smells like sulfur from the matches she's like oh my god it's like what have you just been eating onions like what's going on in here i think she's uh negging him like she's trying to belittle him yeah for sure that's why i agree that's why she he needs the alpha course because she's she's belittling him yeah that's where you need to be like all right i'm gonna start like i'd be shitting everywhere no you gotta i the only thing you can do is because is it like i'll this is uh there's no way that you could really have this conversation like it's pretty corny to be like no pun intended this is bothering me because you're gonna lose lose so much hand later on. The only thing you really do is you've got to pick

things about her and go to fucking town on them. Yeah, or you become... Every time she... Now you've got to get in on her weight and be like, oh, my shits are bad. It's like you put on five pounds, you're a carb dashing. And then any time she even looks at a piece of bread, you go, interesting. She's going for the bread again. You've got to pick

something. Yeah, you've got to do that. I would do the... If I was him, I would do like the opposite of catering. I would just be like, oh, did I forget to flush? Crazy. I thought I did. So you would go warfare the other way. Full warfare. Dude, full just war paint.

I would just be like, all right, let's go. You want it, you're going to get it. What's the song War Pigs? War Pigs. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. I don't know if it's that, no there are sort of comments those are the sort of comments i received from my wife amelia amelia she's calling me fucking saying my shits are bad and i was like amelia depending on when nature calls yeah that's right anytime i gotta fulfill a completely

naturally body function, she will go on and on and on as if I've left an atomic bomb. In other words, I'm poo-shamed. There's nothing... This is guys trying to get on the girl stuff a little bit. Yeah. There's nothing offensive about the owner. In addition to the comments,

she also does little performances and over-the-top gagging sounds. So she's walking out. Don't go in there, then. I get, like, uh... Do not. I get police tape. Yeah, get a... Literally police tape the bathroom.

Just tell her, like, you use this bathroom, I'll use this bathroom. Well, they must only have... If they have more than one bathroom, then this is next level. They got kids, though. And she says she goes on to the whole family. And she goes, basically, hide your kids, hide your wife. She sounds neurotic and crazy about this stuff. Of course.

This is completely inaccurate. So this guy also, this is the part that you're not mentioning. He's positing to the jurors that the poo actually doesn't smell. Well, he's probably like, it's normal. I don't think any shit smells good. And he's just like, it's normal. As far as I'm aware, there is nothing offensive about the odor of my pee. That's the thing.

That's not true. This guy says his shit doesn't stink Yeah he literally Yeah That's where you're losing me pal You're literally saying Your shit doesn't stink And you're like

Okay well That's a problem too This motherfucker Thinks his shit doesn't stink Literally you're just Writing a blog About how your shit Doesn't stink

And you're being Unfairly characterized He's very defensive And he's walking up To the girl I mean she's fucked him up Poo in hand Smell that

That's a normal smell He brings the girl And he makes her blindfold he's got nine different because I bet I dare you to tell me what's plop is mine we got nine plops in a row look at me in the eyes and tell me imagine what the therapy would be like for this if they have to go to like a couples counselor over this issue and basically if they're there yeah they're there and then like the like probably like the therapist is like okay go uh just go use the restroom and then and then like she goes and like really like she maybe mics it up so you like hear it out in like the main area and she goes

how does that make you feel and the girl's like oh my god he goes just just listen to it you're gonna be okay you'll be okay everything's just all fun oh the guy's like just having the most insane dump but she's like see we're fine we're fine nothing's bad happening she goes i can smell it you can't smell it doors closed strong potpourri out here you can't smell it it's just your imagination just everybody does it just he's in there he's like mommy it's all she's like i can smell she can't smell it telling you can't smell i think he's done he comes out he goes does anybody know where the plunger's at i did some real number in there i'm

sorry maybe she's right how does that make you feel does that make you feel can we take a session break for a second? You guys didn't have toilet paper. He walks out with no shirt on. He goes, I really did some damage to those towels in there. Those hand towels? All right, you're going to want to get a new one, so sorry about that. I think I clogged the toilet with my socks.

I was embarrassed to say that I even saw a doctor because of her poo shaming the doctor confirmed there was nothing abnormal so he went to the doctor he probably had it in a bag sort of thing yeah for sure she probably wasn't pumped when she opens the freezer the fridge is baggy i need it for later i'm trying to prove something i'm trying to get it checked out you're saying i got something wrong with me. And then, yes. Opening the window or putting the fan up. So she comes in immediately, puts the window up. And why are you coming in immediately? That's like the number one.

You're like, literally give it fucking 10 minutes. I'm telling you, I'm on this guy's side. Yeah, like why are you coming in immediately? Ladies are out of control. She's up to something though. This is not about the piss. If the moment I exit the bathroom she comes in i go like you're going into your own risk at that point like you know what you're doing

i can picture you walking out and you go enter at own risk i mean that's just you know um enter at your own risk i'll say this i mean i am actually lucky in my because my building has a public like a building restroom on the first floor wait you go use it

sometimes I only have one bathroom in my place so you're on the way in you go hit the public sometimes I'll just my girlfriend will be in the bathroom

and I just need to use it and I'll just go use it like we have the one bathroom for the building the public bathroom and it's pretty nice interesting you just go down there

give yourself an Italian shower with the toilet bowl of water. No, I don't do it, but it's got like, it's a nice bathroom. Now I've told her enough is enough. So that was when we finally went to the Alpha Conference. Enough. Honey, sit down. I have something to say

to you. I will be a beta no longer. Sit down. Can we not do it in front of the no they need to hear this the buck stops here i will be ashamed no longer yeah the only thing i think of is i feel like women have extra sensitive smelling yeah i feel like that is feel like women have extra sensitive smelling versus men. I feel like that is a thing. They might have worse smelling than men because they've sort of put up with men's smell.

Maybe. I feel like just for the maternal thing, like maybe they need to like to detect. Maybe they do or maybe they don't. I don't think we have any data on whether that's true or not. I feel like my girlfriend's got super extra sensitive smelling. I think you just might have a poo situation. It's not even just about, she's just prissy. It's not even about that. It's about everything.

The jokes aren't funny and they are offensive, but they, she will just dismiss this by telling me I can't tell him a joke. So she's sort of saying, you trigger. Yeah, you trigger snowflake. I'm sorry.

Oh, I didn't know I was fucking living with Brian Krasenstein. Triggered much? Triggered. She's saying that he's triggered. Sounds like he is triggered. And she gives him the thing. She goes, she puts the toilet paper in there and then the small toilet paper for his tears.

Such an easy thing for him to win. such an easy thing for him to win like you I was just straight up start being more of a more gross about it not less just for her to understand where this can go yeah exactly like we understand how good this is right how good you fucking got yeah and how bad this could get

like he could probably just like turn off the water too so you're like look now we have no running water and you probably can't figure out how to turn it back on so this is where we're at right now we're we're fucking shitting in a pot because you're not going to be able to figure out how to turn about that how do you like that you like them apples yeah the jokes aren't funny and she says that i'm a bad sport and i'll and after i say this she'll do it again later that day so it's like well i don't know if you're taking that many shit. He goes, every time I have seven times a day I shit.

She goes, all right, maybe you are shitting a lot. You will do it no more. And this ends today. All right, capiche? If anyone needs me, I'll be in my office. She goes, ah. Yes. And then you just hear a faint music playing from his phone from the bathroom i'm on a highway to hell

this guy's life so life sounds like hell which honestly all he really is pump up the jam pump it up he listens Let's get it started. Oh, damn. Everybody, everybody. If anyone needs me, I'll be in my office. Just faintly from the bathroom well well it's the big children man if the guy could just get an extra half a bathroom

in his place that would really solve the problem one more that he might be doing is boom here comes the boom boom here comes the boom ready or not not like you just have to like me now you just have to make her wish she never said anything exactly that's how you do you make her be like if he has to get a divorce over this that's a funny one not hilarious divorce courts hilarious the kids have gone too far uh while the the and then uh the moment her criticisms of the kids started i uh i'm sort of wrote this down wrong, I think. But basically, she started going in on the kids.

And she was shaming the kids by saying, I guess you take after your father. And he really didn't like that. Yeah, she didn't like that. So now, basically, he's saying this stops me before the kids have to be inflicted with this punishment. So she's trying to save the kids. Well, also, she's crazy. No, I. So she's trying to save the kids. Well, she's, yeah, she's, well, also she's just, she's crazy. No, I'm saying he's trying to save the kids. Yeah, he's trying to save the kids.

She's like, the kids can't poo. He goes, you say this to me, that's one thing. You're going to tell my son. This is what it says. It says, and now Amelia has started to do it to our kids too. You're definitely daddy's son, aren't you? She will say when our son has gone to the toilet. Very passive aggressive way.

Super, like to the kid. And the kid's like, I don't get it. And she's saying that while she's staring at you. I guess you're definitely daddy's son then, aren't you? Can you make sure you poo before you shower? The heat makes it stink even worse. That might be true. But also you're...

I don't know. It's still... Does kids shit... Who doesn't poo before they shower? What, do you go afterwards? Yeah. You do? Yeah.

What? Just to keep the stink on there. Do you actually do that? who goes only when it's like a absolutely there's like strategic it's like so counterintuitive the most strategic misstep ever is like it doesn't yeah yeah you messed up yeah you messed up i've had to i've had it where i fucked up yeah you fucked up you go oh god it's just a waste of a shower i've taken a half shower and then i'll yeah for sure and the worst part is like you get all the oils off of you so then it just feels wrong. The whole thing feels weird.

Just squeaky clean, you know? Not good. So this guy's being a little unreasonable because he should be doing that anyway. Yeah. I know the whole thing seems ridiculous but I find the craziest about this whole thing, or ironic at least, is her number twos are actually

really strong. That is ironic. I mean, you can smell them from the other end of the house and they're bad and she does nothing to combat the smell.

It's like she's marking her territory or something. So this guy says, this is crazy. That part is the most crazy. So he went to the doctor. He says that her poo smell, he might just be coping

at this point. But it's like, what? So she doesn't light a match? She's like fucking with you at this point. You're being hazed, dude. This is like jail fucking hazing. Psychological warfare right here. This is what this is.

Yeah, this is literally psychological warfare. Like, for her to be like that. Okay, we have a whole bunch of, every episode, a new bonus episode on the Patreon. But we have a lot of funny stuff actually because we sort of cooked this episode. I have a

really funny Reddit forum I found. There's a whole bunch of stuff to talk about. I don't really need to get into the specifics of it. We are under 200 away. Patreon.com slash the boys cast. So come hang out with us.

And next week, I'll be, next Friday, I'll be in Poughkeepsie, New York, laughing up comedy. Okay. Oh, I was going to say, we'd do the dates afterwards. Oh, okay. That or whatever.

But yes, go to that. Go to that. Okay, peace. Peace.