The Boyscast with Ryan Long - Reacting to the Trump Assassination Attempt Coverage, Theories, & Winners and Losers

Episode Date: July 19, 2024

Forbes deletes article claiming Trump being shot will appeal to black voters, Kyle Gass gets his boss’s band cancelled, and the biggest political controversy in Canada is the beer stores are closed. SUPPORT THE BOYS PATREON.COM/THEBOYSCAST  RYAN ON TOUR:  Auckland: July 24, Sydney, July 25, Melbourne: July 27, Brisbane: July 31, Perth: Aug 1, Saratoga Springs: Aug 9/10, Fort Wayne: Oct 11/12, Louisville: Oct 13, Phoenix: Feb 14-16, Portland: Feb 25/26, Edmonton: Jan 24-26, Tacoma: Feb 27-March 1, Minneapolis: Jan 17-19 - ryanlongcomedy.com SUPPORT THE BOYSCAST:  https://www.patreon.com/theboyscast http://ryanlongcomedy.com Ryan @ryanlongcomedy Danny @dannyjokes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

After seeing the outpouring of support Donald Trump has received since almost dying from an assassination attempt, Press Secretary Carice Jean-Pierre took to the media to remind Americans that President Biden has also almost died tons of times. Jean-Pierre went on to say, just last Wednesday, the man almost kicked the bucket going for his daily bike ride. So if almost dying is what you people are looking for, I assure you Biden is your guy. And I invite you to watch him narrowly escape death while tackling a flight of stairs after 6 p.m. She continued, and if Americans really want to see an iconic photo, I urge them to take a peek at Joe putting his fist in the air after he too

escaped death's grip by the skin of his teeth after completing multiple conference calls in a single afternoon. Jean-Pierre ended by saying, let's just be consistent here, and to anyone thinking about giving support to Trump out of sympathy, just remember that Joe also had a tussle with two assassins last week, his socks, a battle which the president reigned victorious

and should be rewarded by donors. Organ donors. The boys. The boys cast. The lads. The boys cast. The dudes. Prepare yourselves for the boys cast. The lads cast. The dudes cast. The bros cast.

The homies cast. The dudes cast. The experience always lasts. The boys cast. Some of you might be wondering why Daniel and myself have bandages on. And they might start to think that this is Trump related. And oddly enough, Danny's is, mine is not. This is an unrelated bandage.

Sure. Well, what happened? Some of you might not realize this about Daniel Polichok. Because as soon as he heard the Trump thing, he got in line. He said, I want to donate my ear to the first man. He got in. they cut it off. He said, if he needs a free ear, that's what... I was doing parkour that day. I was doing an unrelated

parkour incident. What happened? Well, I was doing a double black flip from... I'm not going to talk about parkour to someone who doesn't understand parkour. I don't know parkour at all. Daniel, however, here's the part that they may not realize. Yes. Well, when I heard that the president was shot, I was the first in line to say, because they were like, do they have blood donors?

I go, I'll do you one better. Ear donors. He said, does he need a dick? Does he need an ear? He said, can he take a dick too? The man might need a dick. He's been through a lot. Yeah.

A second dick. Hey, he could use it. So what happened to me was Danny calls me this and I was wanting to make fun of him and be like, who fucking gives his ear however i had just finished me van go i just finished falling for my car and shouldn't this is the part that people don't want to know about daniel giving his ear however trump did not need an ear he said it was a year was actually in good so they took daniel's ear and they used that to for the the tissue from Daniel's ear to repair a man's rectum who'd been blown out from a gay bathhouse. So that's what Daniel's ear, if anyone's wondering where it is right now, it's on a man named Sven.

It's actually worse than that, actually. I lied to you about that. They use it for a transgender vaginoplasty thing. So your ear is now. My ear is now a labia. Your ear is now fake pussy. For a neo-vagina. Ooh.

Yeah. So, I mean, I feel honored that it just went to good use, you know? Simple parkour thing. I can understand why people think that would be a difference. Now. Yeah. This has been quite the week. Quite the week.

I'll tell you what, my friend. Oh. I told you, I was up north for, it took a couple days up north. I knew, dude. Our group chat was going wild And Ryan's just like Ryan hasn't chimed into the group chat I was going to fucking throw my phone at the wall

Ryan's probably like walking through the woods Like that old fucking So what was that commercial like Sprint or whatever Can you hear me now Ryan's just trying to get a single bar To be like what's going on I'm in the fucking woods It was a night in Bob Cajun

Watch the constellations align themselves. One star. Group chats blowing up. The world's on fire. President's almost dead. Yeah, Ryan's just sitting in a Muskoka chair just enjoying the lake. I wasn't enjoying the lake after this happened, man. I'm on the other side.

Bit by mosquitoes. There was a small second where I considered maybe I take a fucking flight back. They're like, Ryan's like, I gotta leave. Let's go pack your shit. You're like, oh, it's an emergency. The president of the United States was just shot. My mom's like- How does that affect you?

You go, there's content to be made. My mom's like, well, the macaroons have been served. Macaroons! How can you eat macaroons at a time like this? Deranged Canadians. There's a lot going on now this is i will say if i was there this wouldn't have happened if we're gonna go through things in somewhat of an order so well maybe uh there's probably like four four or five tape job, by the way. You kind of did a parkour on the tape job. I'll tell you what.

If I was present at that rally, me and Mark Wahlberg, they would have been... For the audio listeners... You would have gone up on that sloped roof. The audio listeners won't be able to see how quickly my hands are moving right now. But video listeners are also having trouble. You would have gone up on the roof and you're like, oh, this is a sloped roof.

I can't. It's too dangerous. I'll tell you what. I would have got up on the roof and you're like, oh, this is a sloped roof. I can't. I'll tell you what, I would have got up on a higher roof, Shane McMahon style coming down, biggest elbow in the game. Cage match. The cage comes down on the top of the roof. It's just you and Thomas Matthew Crooks locked in the hell in a cell.

You picked the wrong day, Crooks. More like cooked. You powerbomb through the roof of that window i actually think there's a pretty good shot that if i was there i would have jumped off the top rungs and got him before the sniper and you know what the crazy part is the sniper all of it actually ended up killing him yeah would have shot his bullet at the same time that i jumped off i would have came down just dropped him and then flicked the bullet away. Yeah, just caught it. You go, here. Don't want to waste.

We don't want to waste ammo. We don't want to waste ammo. On this piece of scum. You know what? Kamala Harris was right. These streets are getting hot. Yeah. She said the streets are getting hot.

Streets are getting hot. Now, probably the most thing that I was thinking immediately, where I was like, because obviously it was interesting. You're like, if that guy got shot, you're like, we'd be living a completely different timeline right now. I mean, there would be videos. We'd all just be on Twitter watching videos of his head getting blown up like a pumpkin. Oh, yeah. Like, it would just be like, everyone would just have that video.

There'd be no way to contain it. That's true. Yeah. Right. Well, probably Instagram and Facebook would be like you can't share it but twitter would be like yeah i guess be a wild nsfw tag on there but just that'd be the one of the wildest things ever happened but i mean the wildest thing that ever happened is the whole sequence where like they there was they just came out with someone um did like a mock-up

whatever and it was so it was while he was giving his speech and there's a like literally like a target like dead center on his head right and then he moved last and then he goes to point to this chart of illegal immigrants the illegal immigrants are gonna save him say i know that's all he's making me laugh too is the illegal immigrants actually saved his life because he went to go point of the chart and he leaned on the thing and so he's just and like just the obviously every scene but like the bullet just whizzes by his fucking head but uh it would have been like had he not moved it would have been a direct hit like wasn't even gonna be like hit him in the cheek it would have been like right in the fucking temple yeah so the legal immigrant chart saved his life the illegal immigrants the legals you know what the first thing that i was thinking when like he builds that wall biden builds that

wall and we're literally... Trump's dead. Right. I see what you're saying. You're right. Butterfly effect. That's true. If they did let him have that wall, he wouldn't have been pointing to the illegal immigrant

If Biden would have just not stopped the wall building to spite Trump, if he goes, yeah, the wall's a great idea. Love the wall. No Trump. That's true. Crazy. yeah wall's great idea love the wall no trump that's true crazy well when it first happened the immediate thing i was thinking it was like if you were picture like someone whose entire act right now is being a trump impersonator and they're just looking at their schedule they just

got off the phone with their agent they're like they need you at this award show you're gonna be doing another trump you know oh we just got you hired booked at a bar mitzvah two thousand dollars you're gonna be another trump this guy's looking at his schedule printing money looking at his trump wig his orange paint being like i can't lose right now the tiktok he's got going on making the most money i've ever made pretending to be trump that goes he just watches his entire income stream down the drain. That would be the real life. Probably they'd be like, how long until I can do zombie Trump? How long is it acceptable? Dude, that would be like, that would be the horror movie though.

The guy, he was riding high doing Trump, printing money. And then the next day he's just like. It's not even one guy. They have a union. There's probably like all of them. They probably are unionized. It's like the unemployment line is just 50 trumps in a row that's what i'm saying just like them begging on the street all the trump impersonators on the street will trump for change you're like come on that's in poor taste

the guy's like four days ago it's really hard up it's printed cash before this there is nobody that would have got hit by this harder than the including trump i think i think you'd be better off dead than being one of the trump impersonators to get put out of business man yeah they would have been like why could it have been me especially the ones that have tried 18 different things on the internet and then finally the trump impersonations were hitting for them their channels taking off you know doing there's guys that like their whole thing is they do they sing songs in trump's voice and they do everything and then just like that every variety those guys were probably having a conniption when they heard i mean the people

who sell trump merch like all the people who just sell like this just garbage the amount of license merch the amount of industries i mean how many social commentators Their whole thing is like White Trump is bad or whatever They would have been They'd have to find a new guy We've seen that before when the media tries to find a new guy To satiate them when they go like Fucking DeSantis isn't good it doesn't hit the same

No way There is so many people That would have been put out of business overnight It's scary to think of. Just being like, remember that guy? Probably like the United States would have lost like a point of GDP. Adjust to the Trump industry. One full point on the Trump impersonation industry.

Do you think if he did die, how long till they would be selling replicas of the bullet? Or do you think they could sell replicas of the bullet now? Like, you know what I mean? Like, you know how they sell like shrapnel of 9-11 and stuff like that, first responders? No, they're selling dirt. They're selling rally dirt. Like the dirt from the rally.

Like someone's going in there at night with like an excavator and just pulling up the dirt. And they go, it's... I mean, they might be doing it now because now it's like anointed dirt. It's like, this is like... It's literally like the steps in bethlehem or whatever where jesus walked you know because he got saved by everybody's like

he got saved by this is like holy dirt this is holy dirt now yeah yeah for sure it's now i mean i don't know if anybody think that bullet has some orange on it that would be so funny it's just an orange streak might though right he probably has the orange stuff on his ears, too. Maybe. I don't know. It'd be funny if it came out. Did they find the bullet? What happens with the bullet? I feel like that would go on an auction for a lot of money.

I'm sure it's in an evidence locker somewhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think. A bullet would be worth a lot, though. He's already selling sneakers, by the way. Which, again? See this? Oh, yeah.

He's got... Well, he had sneakers. The gold one. No, he has failed assassination attempt sneakers now. Shut the fuck up. You didn't know that? No. Yeah, yeah got his he's got the buddy he's the what no one sells more merch than this guy he fucking moves units he has failed assassination what oh yeah they are three hundred dollars all right well i'm gonna buy a pair yeah before they sell out are you stupid

yes so probably also the second thing i was thinking about i mean obviously oh they're golf shoes golf shoes oh no no sorry he has trump sneakers there's golf there's gold golf shoes look at those fancy things 10 of them there's only a 10 000 of them or a thousand and 10 of them are randomly autographed if you get an autograph one that's pretty sick you get a golf shoe oh yeah here we go the fight fight fight sneakers yeah so i told you hundo selling fast i mean the amount of money this situation is making donald trump is unfathomable i don't think you've ever seen that kind of cash i mean here's the thing this is the first time fucking dewy fingers you never seen money like that don't profit off of this don't profit off of this uh i mean dude the amount of like professional athletes who are like yeah i support trump now like this this basically broke the damn down

where all these people go okay well now i can vocally it did break the damn down i can say i support him and like you can't come at me like there's no it is sort of a I don't know what you would call it like an when they do a blog on something an amendment an addendum amendment well there's like a block on a moratorium moratorium there's a moratorium on like getting mad at

people that support him for sure yeah no I mean so many people are like yeah I support him now like it's and I mean again it is the whole thing is insane. The more you think about it, the more you're like, we're living in essentially like a JFK scenario, but in real time, high definition, tons of it. Because at the time, there was no information. Like JFK happened. People are like, the radio came on.

They're like, the president of the United States was just shot in Dallasallas and then you turn on the news on one of the three channels that night they're all covering it probably the same and that's it and then it's just like covered in the newspapers and then they didn't even have like the you know they didn't even have their like uh whatever trials or all that stuff for a while after that so you're just like yeah president that's crazy who did it and they go this guy Lee Harvey Oswald, which he conveniently got shot like a couple days later. Well, the conspiracy things were running rampant. I mean, how could you not?

Well, obviously. I mean, dude, there's so many people who are like, yeah, it was just a disenfranchised 20-year-old. I mean, I tried to watch. I was in Canada, so I tried to watch a bit of CBC's coverage, and it was like, what the fuck is this? what the fuck is this well we've seen some of the articles i had some of the best articles uh usa today's the best trump removed from stage by secret service after loud

noises startles former president donald trump escorted off stage by secret service rally after loud noises uh that's it that was abc uh. Donald Trump whisked off stage after loud. So a lot of them do the loud noises. Yeah, they do the loud noises. The one of them was like, CNN said Trump fell. He falls. Yeah, and they're very much trying to be like, oh, we're serious journalists.

The reason why we did that is because we have journalistic integrity, and so we didn't know all the facts. So at the time, and you're like, it was pretty clear when they were dragging a bloodied guy who was in the bleachers away that they go okay someone tried something someone there was a shooting he didn't we can agree there was a shooting that guy didn't fall and have his fucking head explode that's crazy and bleeding everywhere like there was a shoot and when are they ever afraid to be wrong about something well this

anything that goes that hurts them they go, oh, let's be calm. Dude, I was watching CNN last night, or that night, sorry, and the amount that they were being like, you know, this harmful rhetoric, and let's dial it down. You're responsible in part for this heightened rhetoric and stuff. You had a hand in this, and they were trying to back off that whole thing, being like, you know, we just need to be calm and all this stuff.

You're like, you were involved in this. But also, it puts these people in a real rock and hard place, because it's like, if you do say, you're like, this guy's the worst guy that ever lived, and now you're like, okay, turn down the rhetoric, because I was like, okay, so you didn't believe that then sure so you're you're either admitting that it's rhetoric or if you do think that you should be happy about this you should be like yeah i mean but you can't they're

just in a wrong that was a step too far they go he is the worst guy who's ever lived but if you believe he's hitler would it be a step too far to kill him like why would that be the case sure right i mean so it's sort of just like it puts you either basically have to admit that you're lying you were like you know never well never admit that well that then you have no choice but to just be a hypocrite because you don't really have there's no good dude if you were joe biden when this happens like there's his only good thing was when this happened you're like okay people aren't really talking about how old he is for a second well he was sleeping what do you mean there was fucking 10 different like presidents of countries came

out and gave a gave a like a you know a video like you know saying like yeah are you not coming out immediately yeah like obama trudeau uh netanyahu like all these world leaders and everybody's like where's biden he's like he's fucking sleeping it's seven o'clock it's possible he was sleeping it's also possible he's punching the wall fuck fuck fuck fuck you know what i mean like imagine you had to wake up to that if you were biden and he had to dude he had to phone trump and like you know act like you know yeah hey i hope you're okay or whatever again it all it just always kind of like these things where he's like you know i want to call him make it okay well if you think he's a rapist, you wouldn't be saying that. If the things you're saying are true,

then why would you be calling him? Like, you know what I mean? Well, because, yeah, it's just he goes, okay, so I'll stop making that point that, you know, it kind of proves that a lot of people don't mean what they say. Full of malarkey. Full of malarkey. But if you were, you know, Biden, and this sort of stuff happens, you're like, we're

fucked, pal. I mean, yeah, if they were fucked before, well, yeah. Oh,'re like we're fucked pal i mean yeah if they were fucked before well yeah oh well we're fucked because i mean i don't want to get too into this last thing this stuff but they're like hey we we kept we keep we've been trying all these other things and then our new thing didn't work either and i don't think we have any more things to try well that's the entertain thing he's always like first they do this first they do that then they try to kill you right yeah i mean again i don't have enough information on that front you'll never have that that information will never see the light of day if it again this is a wild that's the problem conspiracy theory but I mean okay well let's go let's go through the let's go through

some of the conspiracy theories then okay so. So there's only, there really is only like three things that there's three versions, right? Yeah. There's basically the, the, uh, whatchamacallit, the,

well, the leftist people that know what's the people with the magic bullet military. What are you? Oh, either the secret service is just super incompetent, super incompetent. Some people say that probably the worst conspiracy is that Trump organized this.

Yeah, that's the leftist conspiracy theory, which I saw a ton of. It was one of the top trending topics on Saturday. I legitimately watched people that were super left-wing, like, you know, the meme where they morphed

into Alex Jones in real time? Yeah. I mean, they were like, staged, like, obviously. Like, this is staged. Like, he's just using this to... And you go, you know how... Yeah, but for that one to be true, the... Okay, so if they were like staged like obviously like this is staged like he's just using this to you know how but for that one to be true the okay

so if they were like it's staged but there was a real bullet actually flying by him it's like that would be the most riskiest staging of all time yeah yeah yeah

if you were like it's staged and the bullet was fake well I need you have to prove that but also all the other real all the other bullets that killed people

that killed that guy and like shot and hit other people they were all real those were real those ones were real but also all the other real all the other bullets that killed people that killed that guy and like shot and hit other people they were all those were real those ones were real or if you're so like that guy was uh like part of it yeah but i think that that conspiracy was people's brains breaking where they're just like it can't be true well you know what i mean yeah because that's like i all i know is what just happened i I don't, I can't have this. Yeah, well, it breaks their framework. It's like a bug in the code, right?

It's a bug in the code. Right, where they go like, okay, well, then the whole code's wrong now. So they go, well, we can't allow that, so we'll just kind of. Maybe I can, okay, I can believe this, and maybe I don't have to have like a mental breakdown if I just believe this. Yeah, and I mean, yeah. And like part of me not to, you know uh like part of me feels bad

for those people because they've just been had this onslaught for the last eight years where like it's almost like that's the only uh like realization they can arrive to without having just like an amount of distance even they can't handle yeah like where they have to have like be institutionalized because they have like a break like i they have to have like be institutionalized because they have like a break like i have a mental breakdown like that's almost like the only avenue they can go down and keep their sanity that's what i'm saying yeah what what else can you do dude that what else can you do you have to post like hope he's okay like you know you don't obviously you don't you've been calling for his death on twitter for eight years oh it sucks so bad to have to be like just literally like the guy that fucked your wife

and you have to like wish him a speedy recovery basically yes yeah that's that's what it is and it has a tinge of that though like your girlfriend's ex-boyfriend gets really sick and then she's like you know what I mean? Yeah. And she, like, you know what I mean? It's in your life. Yeah. And you have to pretend you're not, like, who the fuck do I care?

Yeah. Also, those people are like, well, you know, those people are like, well, Biden's cognitive abilities are too bad. And, you know, I really think he can win this election. And now they're just like, fuck. We're losing this, right? It's the thing you were talking about a couple days ago where you're just like they're trying to get fed more slob and you're like my stomach's full my mouth is full

there's no room for any more slob i can't and you're it's someone bringing in like oh you don't want another course of slob you're like you're what is i'm hansel over here yeah i'm getting fed fucking slob by the witch i'm full to the brim, man. My cheeks are full. I'm a chipmunk. I've already filled both the cheeks. I've filled all my backpack. I've already started Mr. Bean style, taking the food and putting it in the napkin so I can take it to the garbage. I don't have any room for more slop.

It's a noble room. I'm out of locations for the slop. My pockets are full. I got some slop in my grandmother's locket here. There's no more room. Yeah, the leftists are not handling this well. So how could you be handling this well and they're also like you know the real ones who really just don't like wanted him dead and they go fuck that was so close i bet you trump was

fucking pumped that night i went when all the fucking thing got down he got his photo he got back and he was just like bingo yeah i mean people are calling mr magoo man he does fucking slide through every situation. He's still like a person. Like, at the end of the day, like... You think it shook him? You have to think. The more he probably... The adrenaline was up, though.

The adrenaline, for sure. For sure. It's the same as like, you know, when you see someone... It was like the, whatever, Dane Cook joke or whatever. But like, when you get hit by like a car and you like bounce up or whatever, you know, you get hit and you pop back up or whatever because you're trying to... And then you're like, I broke both my legs my legs yeah both of my legs are broken and i'm really really hurt but you're like yeah in that moment you're in your adrenaline's just like but

he had to think and the more he sees it he has to be like holy shit like any person who literally like i can't fathom if i was like oh yeah i just like looked here and i dodged death like certain death because i just turned my head just like this. Do you think it would fuck with you? For sure. I mean, a normal person has years of therapy. He's not a normal person. He's not a normal person.

But I'm saying a normal person probably has years of therapy to get back to some sort of sense of normalcy. I don't know. I almost got hit by a car once. How close? Did it graze you? Really bad, dude. almost got hit by a car once how close did it graze you really bad dude i like legit i actually and i will say i almost think about i think about it every now and then because basically i i've i was running across the road i went to an audition right yeah and then i ran across the road

and then i realized i lost i left dropped my phone so i went back to get my phone i go oh fuck and i just turned this way and start walk on the road and then i realized a car was coming head on and i did like a weird body turn and then yeah basically like a car going 60 miles an hour like graze me back the other way and then like it was like honking in the horn and i just like legitimately like oh shit oh fuck and then i before i knew it it was like i was like this close if i haven't been able to like contort my body in the right way i would have been dead yeah it all happened really fast and it was just like yeah i almost died like really close but also that's there's one thing so basically i'm the same thing you're the same thing you dodged an assassination attempt and i will be selling my my car assassination attempt sneakers

but also you're like okay well then like you know he knows people want to kill him like he's known that there's people who want him dead. But then when you're like, okay, that's an external thing. You can learn a lesson from this and be like, I'm going to cross the street and check both ways or whatever. He can't stop being in public. Yeah, you can. The lesson to be learned is you need better fucking security to double check. Dude, the Secret Service is like the top of the top. Now he's like, I can't trust the Secret Service.

Where you get Eric Prince coming. No, you get the fucking Blackwater. Yeah, you get Blackwater. And you're like, so what? I got to like. But dude. I'm sure they'd pay for it. If he crowdfunded his like top of the top security.

He'll just pay for it because he's going to pay for it. He has a budget or whatever. But like to be like, I can't trust the Secret Service now. That is a second or third level of paranoia that you have to now deal with you're like all these guys who are like job is to take a bullet for me i can't trust them to do that like i can't even the people who are surround me like dude 24 7 they surround them they're like i can't even trust them they're like who do you that's real you work for that's real like mob boss territory yeah like scarface at the end.

Yeah, it's insane. There's so many things where the people are being like, oh, well, they're trying to be everybody. That's the most convenient thing is like, oh, well, they're inept. But the further you kind of extrapolate that, and you're like, well, was it- How are you that inept?

Yeah, but also was it on purpose that someone, whoever they is, or like, you know, Deep State, whatever, Biden, and maybe Biden's doing a full Kaiser Sosa. Maybe Biden's being like, but then in the fucking, in private, he's like, we got to kill this motherfucker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This guy is dead. This guy is dead. Right?

Like, maybe it's that. But you're like, okay, so then what? He goes into the place he takes off with orthotics and he puts on yeah of course he puts on his like fucking trump kicks or whatever and like i have the photo in front of me um but you know like is that and then even if so they go okay so someone made the decision to put the most inept group around him just to increase maybe they all weren't inept maybe there was like only You know two inept people That were sort of central The chicks

Well the chicks See that's their thing Where you go Because you're talking about Okay So the story is that Okay these people Just like did a bad job

You know And I'll All of them though Well I You know that I've talked about this A bit ago Because I went and filmed there And I said

I was just like I've never seen Higher security At a thing that I've In my life than i was at the trump rally when it was at new york it was like everywhere you went then you had to go through security yeah well i don't understand how he got the rifle in there he didn't go through security he was on a roof that was outside of the secured zone but again you're so close how big is the secured zone it should first off there was like two basically elevated points which would be if there was a sniper they could be one of two places there was like a water tower and then there was that roof and they said one of them they go in

there like days before and days before they go months before whatever but they go well before they have a whole team coming in there there was a guy he's like a congressman from uh florida he was on cnn yesterday and he was like a sniper he's like i've done this a thousand times before exactly this it's like you go in there well before you find all the sites i know i watched cop shows yeah you you secure them like all this stuff and for whatever reason they do this for presidents of other countries yeah and for whatever, they just left this one roof and they go... And the chief of security, whatever, Kim Cheadle or whatever the fucking name is, they're like, the roof had a slope to it, like a small slope. It was like a sloped just roof.

So then they're like, we didn't... It was a little too dangerous. I'm like, it was too dangerous for a Navy SEAL? Like a guy, like a Green Beret couldn't deal with a minor slope? It's like this fucking kid had no problem with it it's like none of it makes any sense and the more you think about it the less sense it makes that's what i'm saying there's a dude okay you're a 20 year old kid okay they had they were they they're in his phone right now and so he has no social media whatsoever he's 20 years

old they can't find any social media footprint of him whatsoever. Fishy. Right. Ding, ding, ding. Fishy number one. Fishy number one. Okay. So his parents and his parents came out today.

Today's Wednesday. They're like, we called the police hours before because we couldn't locate him. That was a weird part too. They couldn't locate him. So he- How long was he gone for? The guy said that he was with his dad the night before. Yeah. It was that day.

So he's like, he has several hours. But who calls the police when their son was missing for several hours who does that nobody that doesn't make sense so he goes to home depot he buys a ladder he goes in the ammunition store he buys 50 rounds of ammo for his ar-15 like you went to the trump thing okay you have to think if you're one of these deranged people even if you're not deranged so you're totally sound mind you're like i'm gonna kill the president you any person would have to think especially an untrained person you're gonna show up you're gonna be walking around with your little duffel bag with your fucking gun in it or whatever and someone's gonna be like what are you doing

like someone's gonna come up to you some like you you watch trump if you try to get anywhere near near the action for sure but like you watch trump come into ufc right whenever he comes in and he has like he's surrounded by secret service they're not looking ahead they're looking all around that's you watch them they're all like looking like this they're surveying the whole thing you have to assume if you're that kid and you're just kind of wandering around the outskirts of this rally outside of the secured zone someone's gonna be like who's that guy what is that guy doing what's that guy doing who's that guy so you have to assume if you're that kid like like 99.9% chance you are going to get- You're like, I'm not getting in here.

You're not getting in and you're going to get caught at a fucking Trump rally with a gun. That's what I'm saying. It's like, yes. I agree. So this kid's plan was, I'm going to walk up there 99.99%- With a ladder. 99.999% chance the guy's going to just grab me. Not dressed as a handyman.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not even with the handyman, like, Ace Ventura shit. You're just dressed. Where you're wearing the janitor's outfit, pushing the bucket. Yeah, you're, like, dressed as you're, like, in your tactical, like, there's, like, this YouTube channel, Demolition or something or whatever. So you're dressed in your, like, YouTube gun shirt or whatever, walking around with a gun, an AR-15. i don't know what what it was in with a ladder just like 150 something else 150 yards it's not even like dude you watch because we're so like programmed by movies and stuff you assume like yeah this guy like finds like a box and jumps up

and does a pull-up he gets no he's a fucking ladder when i was there there was no chance anyone was getting that close nobody would be walking around with a ladder without someone coming up to me go what do you do in like kind of military-ish looking stuff being like also it takes a while to like take the gun out and you know probably he was up there for like i think i don't know 20 minutes or something there's all these videos of people being like yo there's a guy on the roof right there's a guy on the roof everybody's like yo there's a guy on the roof there's a guy on the roof like they're all being like hey there's a guy i don't know if you heard me there's a slope that's what they say there can't be a guy on the roof there's a slight slope and it's hot outside

it's a metal roof i'm telling you it's not possible yes I understand what you think you're seeing. The girl's doing her nails. It's like, dude, the whole, none of it makes even the littlest bit of sense. Fellas, as you know, I am on my way to Australia, as well as other dates that I will announce. But more importantly, on this Australia tour, I've solidified a crazy amount of special guests, who you'll know if you're there. I got Frenchie doing spots. Neimanaz.

Lou Spears. Neil Kolkatar. There is going to be special guests galore on these shows. And I don't know who's going where or whatever. But Auckland, Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Perth. Also, everyone, we have Saratoga Springs, Fort Wayne, Louisville, Nashville, Chicago, Phoenix, Portland, Edmonton, Minneapolis, Tacoma, all these tickets. You can go to ryanlongcomedy.com and check it out.

And also, you're like, okay, say everybody was in. It's a massive conspiracy. The Secret Service was like, a thing's going to happen. We're going to let this happen. Why not send a guy who's going to for sure get the job done? And I guess he came this fucking close but there's surely there could have been someone better like you're right though if you were like coming up with a plan and you were sending that kid out you're like unless there's something weird going

on you're like this plan has a one in ten thousand chance of working ten thousand dude one in fucking ten million right like it's a one in ten you're like you're counting on the this being like the most and you're counting on being in austin power like one in ept guard yeah one in ept guard you need every secure you need all the local police and there was also another thing which is that jill biden had uh a speech that day like i think it was like three miles away she was giving a speech at the exact same time and because she's the first lady she got the a team essentially and so what happened is trump the b team but i'm like how is there a b team it's the secret service how are like the fucking dopey guys whose uniforms don't fit

uh-oh we gotta give the 10 secret services to jill we need the trump team brandon the guy's who goes yeah he's sleeping goes what We need the Trump team. Brandon! The guy goes, yeah. He's sleeping. He goes, what? He's looking at his fucking chair. Oh, oh, oh, oh. You're working today. He's like, let me just go to this training.

He hits the punching bag, comes back, hits him in the head. He literally goes, let me just see him with my gun. He goes to grab his gun. It's a banana. You're like, fuck off. Like, none of this makes any sense. And they're going to be like none of this makes any sense like and they're gonna be like yeah it was just it was a confluence of just you know everything happened wrong and you go i mean here eat some more slop guys because fucking i ain't but i ain't eating it i'm on a no slop diet

right now this is definitely a lot of slop a lot of slop i don't know like this is homer simpson in hell with the fucking conveyor belt, and your mouth is open and just slop coming nonstop. I can't eat this much slop, okay? I'm not having trouble with this much as well. This is a lot to eat at one time. It's a lot. You really do have to believe it was the...

There was the funny part where there were just some of the ages that were crappy. Like, you see the girl trying to put her oyster back in. It's like if you had me. Cowering. It's like if you had me. Yeah. That girl looked pretty good, too, the picture of her. She's kind of chubby and stuff like that.

Not tall. Not even tall. So you can't block them unless you're on top of them. Aren't they supposed to be like big Navy SEALs? They used to be. I picture the people guarding the present basically like batista you know what i mean if you look at when reagan was assassinated those dudes are all just like fucking huge guys huge jacked guys that are also speedy yeah it's not

like short stout they go the best of the best out of the navy seals and you get like picked to be this other job where you get more money yeah Yeah. And it's like a kind of a fairly cushy gig because nothing ever happens because you do all this stuff in advance to ensure that nothing happens. This girl looked like

she couldn't guard a piece of cheesecake. Not for me, she can't. It literally seems like she'd be in charge of like the, she'd be in charge of like guarding the buffet spread at like a banquet hall

in a hotel. Dude, she looks like a security guard at a fucking Chase Bank. Like, she literally looks like a Chase Bank has better security guards. Yeah, like, Chase Bank has more imposing security guards. It's crazy. She looks, yeah, she looks like the security guard at a car dealership that's closed. Yeah, you ever see that video?

Like, the night security guard. Of the two cop, chick cops, and they're, like, trying to arrest this guy. And he just, like, won't allow it. And then he just eventually, they like trying to arrest this guy and he just like won't allow it and then he just eventually they're trying he just like they can't get him to the ground and then just runs away and they can't even chase after him like that's what the keystone cop ship you're like these aren't like low level small town cops these are like it's like there's a feeder system from the military yeah yeah and it's like they they don't just pick anybody. Like, I'm sure everybody who's in the military wants to eventually be in the Secret Service.

Well, this is the top job, yeah. Yeah, it's insane. And Trump's a top job, too, because they all probably like Trump, those guys. Yeah, that's another thing, too. This is like playing for the Leafs in hockey. Yeah, so we're expected to believe that... This is a home team. That all these guys who have essentially, like, you know given agreed to give their life for the president of the united states and are probably lean mostly

conservative like because generally those people do all just that like assuming that we're saying like a full conspiracy or whatever we're all like yeah we're all going to stand down and let this happen but what do you think happened i don't know i'm having trouble putting together like a theory that makes sense for myself. What's on the table? I'm just saying, if we're talking conspiracies, what's on the table where you're like, okay, it could be this? I can't even really think of one that satisfies all the criteria where it could make sense. The thing is, how do you get the patsy?

How does the patsy get all the other patsies? Well, they get the patsy and they're confident that you can do they get the Patsy just for the record is the guy? The guy, yeah. The Patsy is Matthew Crooks or whatever. But so you're like, how do you get this guy and you're confident... Halfway Crooks. You're confident that he's going to make the shot. And then... But then, okay.

So assume this scenario where like we found a guy who's going to come do this and then we're all just going to kind of look the other way. And then everyone agrees. Everyone agrees. Because it's not like two people. All you need is snipers on the roof. The one sniper was like, I had the guy for three minutes or whatever.

Like I was looking at him. And I don't know, maybe they weren't sure if it was one of their own guys. So they're like, we're not going to kill one of our own guys. Like, I don't know. Also, if you were trying to kill Trump, there's probably better ways for the people could have done it than this well but this is maximum effect right like you don't want to like if you're trying to demoralize a population

you want to kill him during a press conference on stage for the world to see in fucking high definition you know and yeah i i i mean whatever the story is going to come out, I'm not going to believe. Like, they're going to come out with whatever story. And this one's got you fucked up a bit. It's impossible to reconcile how this could have happened. Like, when you factor in everything. You're right. That's why you can see you're like, you have to believe something because it's like hard for your brain.

So I can understand why people like it would be as believable as if Trump was walking up to the stage and someone was like, oh, we accidentally... Oh, someone accidentally left a catapult right there and Trump steps on the catapult and just fucking takes off and you go... How is there a catapult there? Why didn't anybody... Shit happens.

Yeah, she'd go, oh, you know, D.I. left the catapult on stage. Sorry. The honesty. She didn't have her coffee today. She's off her game. Literally, it would have been as believable as an anvil falling on his head. I would have been like, okay.

Sometimes, would an anvil fall out of a plane? That would have been as believable as this scenario. At least they can't secure an anvil. I'll tell you one thing that I saw. Probably the day maybe it took a little bit, but within a day everyone's playing the game of trying to figure out so they can be like

this guy's a Republican and they're going he's actually a Democrat. People are trying to figure out what the thing is. I feel like every time anything like this happens we have to go through the same procedure of people being like he's a registered this. No, the registered people being like, well, he's a registered this. What motive, I guess.

No, the registered part, though. They always say he's a registered Republican. It was like, people always, how many times do we have to go through the thing of people being like, people register for the different party. Yeah, people register. And some people are like,

yeah, he registered for Republicans to vote against Trump in the primary. Yeah, but people do do that. So it's like, it doesn't, it's not a good piece of data to say that he's a registered this because lots of people register for the other thing or they registered that 40, 10 years ago.

It's like, it just isn't a piece of data. And I feel like you have to go through that same thing. And they just had an interview like that. People are so desperate to like slot it into what they think. It's like they're fucking manic. Well, because nobody's side wants to take the blame. Well, I get, obviously. They want to be on the side that's not responsible.

No, obviously I get that, but I'm saying the level of desperation with which I'm seeing it is off-putting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And again, like, they've been throwing the kitchen sink at this guy. They've been trying to get him out of the picture in every possible way,

criminal prosecutions, the documents case, which actually just got dismissed yesterday morning, I believe. His documents. Was that related? Well, that was one of the things they were trying to get him on is the improper storage of documents no but i'm saying was it related to this like no i don't think so i just happened to fall that way i think

it was like some sort of procedural teflon done yeah which can be really leading up to uh uh living up to his teflon i mean unbelievable yeah but you know they were trying to get rid of them there and like it's the Tate thing. Tate not... But he said, that's the last step. Nothing else worked. But you know what I mean, though? They'll basically find a video of the guy and be like,

here's him standing for the national anthem. Yeah, he's clearly a Republican. Anything they could do, you know what I mean? The BlackRock video thing was kind of funny. BlackRock video was funny. He just happened to be an extra in thing was kind of funny he just happened that just happened to be an extra in a black he just happened to be an extra right it was like they were just like at his school but like the fact that he happened to be an extra in a black

rock video is fucking funny yeah but anyways it's i mean we're not gonna get an answer for this because even the secret services you know the head of secret services essentially saying like you know we yeah we had some lapses or whatever it won't happen again kind of deal but you're like they're sort of saying did i do that two erico references in a row two episodes in a row bangers um yeah i i don't know it's it's has anyone gotten fired yet no no and the head of secret service is like i'm not stepping down she's just straight up they interviewed her she is like, I'm not stepping down. She said straight up. They interviewed her. She's like, no, I'm not going to be stepping down.

Why not? She's like, pretty big blunder. Yeah. You almost. Yeah. I mean, the president almost got assassinated on live TV on your watch. Yeah. Seems like a pretty big one.

And the only thing that stopped it was like luck. Pure luck. Yeah. Or divine intervention. So if he did get shot, she would step down. But what's the difference? Yeah. I mean, they fucked up.

You fucked up the same amount whether it worked or didn't work. You equally as much fucked up. So obviously, they'd step down if he got killed. So why wouldn't you step down now? Yeah. I mean, and she's going to get hauled in front of Congress. Yeah, she's're gonna take a beating that's for sure i hope so but again i mean you know that literally does though the amount of

blunder it'd be like the secret service would have to be taking their guns yeah that's what happened with a guy literally like i mean i was one of them but it's it's just the amount of things like you know if you think of it just from a statistical thing where you go what's the percentage of this happening and then you put them all together you go impossible yeah that's very yeah yeah yeah statistically impossible almost for all these things to happen sure and they're

gonna be like oh well yeah but it did you know ah not buying it yeah I've watched a lot of people post their theories and none of them really been sticking for me nothing nothing really made sense a lot it doesn't make does seem unsolved at this point and you are right that is unlikely to be solved it's not gonna be solved fuck no it might be one of those things that like someone kind of comes out with theories and you know two years that starts to you know put the pieces of it together yeah maybe and i mean yeah the general public just takes it on the

fucking chin huh yeah but the winner the real winner here is Trump. Oh, big time. At this point. I mean, I think we could say, right? I mean, and again, who knows? And maybe we're in November and they just go, yeah, crazy. It was a shame he got shot, but he did lose by 25 million votes. Impossible.

And then people go, okay. Okay. More slop, please. Slop, please. Okay okay let's talk about some of the funny coverage you had a pretty good one what was reed hoffman's thing because there were a lot of people that basically everyone that posted like three days ago being like this guy needs to die well he said make him make him a martyr he basically was they some he made some joke on stage reed hoffman who the founder of LinkedIn. And not a fat

pig. Do not call Reid Hoffman a fat pig. Okay? I heard someone call him a fat pig. I heard someone call him a fat pig and I said do not call Reid Hoffman a fat pig. He is not a fat pig. He is pretty chubby and there's not a good excuse to be like a chubby, like you're kind of chubby

when you're that fucking rich, you know? I mean, Ozempic exists. Yeah. Exactly. Look at Oprah, okay? Look at Mindy Kaling. She's fucking a rake right now. Is she?

Yeah. Nice. Nice. I always thought she was kind of cute. Yeah. She's a little cuter now. So, but anyways, he was like, oh, we need to make him a martyr. And then, of course, he's like, oh, no, I didn't mean like a literal martyr.

Guys. Guys. And then he did some, everybody's like where's reid hoffman where's he wing and then he weighs in on and he's like and then he goes straight to the like yeah yeah well trump said the bloodbath thing and you wanted a blood you go he was talking about an economic bloodbath just like listen to the context of two minutes yeah yeah it was an economic bloodbath he wasn't saying a literal bloodbath and then you go you just too much cognitive dissonance. And you're too partisan. But I like, again, it's one of those things where it's like, most people are probably,

you know, just living their lives. And but it's another thing when you're like, hey, I'm this like, genius billionaire guy that's like, you know, super getting involved in politics. It was like, well, yeah, you don't get to just be like, completely wrong. You know what I mean? You have to have some sort of like logic between your all the things you think about different things sure sure and and i mean biden had the thing where he said we got to put a target on his back or whatever put a target on him i mean i mean joe biden is senile so certainly he cannot be blamed for his that's

what i was sort of saying though the biden uh situation room must have been fucking bad where they're just like going through like you said this two days ago. He would. I guarantee you would. If he got the call of this, he fucking knocked something off the table. I mean, it's a different standard, though, for the left where they can. You know, the left is very much like, oh, we didn't mean that. That was, you know, it's not like the same as when Trump caused an insurrection or whatever.

It was his proud boys stand by, stand down or whatever. Where were the proud boys? They probably would have done a better job of securing that place yeah i'll tell you okay so now there was on i might mentally never come back from this by the way i might be ever next week i'm just being a tinfoil hat for the rest of this fucking thing fucking you up mean, it's just so obscene. And this is the rubbing in our faces. This is the real. They're really rubbing in our faces right now. How dumb.

They're like, you're so dumb. You'll take whatever. Well, they're just like, hey, this is how it is. I mean, we killed. Well, at least it didn't work for the people that were trying to rub it in your face. It didn't work. Well, it didn't work. Yeah.

But again, maybe they try again. I don't know. Alex Jones was on Tim Dillon. Alex Jonesones is like i know alex johnson and he's like he's like we're gonna have rolling blackouts power grids he goes there's false flags on black people yeah false flags and truck bombs blowing up black churches and stuff that he's making some wild predictions yeah i mean he made one wild prediction that they were going to try and kill donald trump and he was correct so anyways i don't know but it seems very just blatant like you know them just like just doing this in plain sight you know they're like hey this is just the country is not there's some kevin spacey house of cards

shit yeah it's like the country is not run by the president the country is run by you know some kind of shadowy figures shadowy figures and they you know he is the trump is the least kind of on board with all their bullshit and he opposes them the most and they just are not doing another four years of this they tried using lawfare didn't work next step just they're at they're low on options and this is what they're trying to do now yeah i mean it's the final final option they have so moving on to from just the reaction to the reaction now yeah there was uh jack black and some other celebrities like that if you saw kyle gas or boy kyle gas uh he made a joke where he said i you know i wish he said basically it was his birthday he goes blow out the candles it was make a wish and he says i wish the shooter didn't miss yeah now too soon kyle guess some people are saying that uh he got like canceled because they canceled

their tour but it's a little bit different because what people are flipping out on them but what actually really happened in that scenario is when you do that he became it becomes like a security threat but it was in Australia. No, but that... But even still a problem. But he didn't actually... Like the venues didn't cancel the things. He canceled it. Because it was going to have to...

Like I think it was going to cost so much more money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, they were just like, hey, now we have a security. And then I think Jack Crack was also like, I was in the crosshairs a little bit for doing all my corny fucking videos for Biden. So I think that this...

He wasn't happy with Kyle Gass probably coming off. No. But I tell you what, you're not going to catch me moralizing over people making jokes you know what i mean i don't know if you've seen libs of tech talk right now this woman is fucking drunk on power right now karenitis okay i've never seen karenitis like this she's like you're fired from home depot you're fired from home depot you're fired from Home Depot. This woman is like the Digimon into the final boss of human resources right now. It's insane.

And like some people make a case where you're like, you know, like, look, the right were the cancelers. The left had their little window where they were like, we're canceling now too. They canceled harder. The reason is, is because they controlled more institutions. Yes, and now- The principle's the same.

We live in currently just like a revenge-based society. It does, yeah. Where everybody, you know, that's what all the DEI stuff is. Essentially, it's just a form of revenge. And like all this stuff, you know, nobody's like wants, it's the eye for an eye stuff. And they're just, that is their nature. That is their true nature. That's most, that's a lot of people's true nature.

Not a lot, but there's probably 40, 30% of people, their true nature is if they got to be the librarian, they couldn't wait to tell you to shush. Exactly. And however that manifests as a human. Yeah. And I mean, she's been telling a lot of people in libraries to shush, specifically the drag queens. So she's been telling them all to shut the hell up.

And this is just kind of a pivot for her and i mean i don't know she literally found people there's like just a fucking facebook comment dude are just like a 70 year old woman on facebook that was like wish he didn't miss yeah and then you know fucking then she was like a national search party to fucking crazy find this guy do we you know he's a greeter at walmart here's the thing it's like not anymore i will agree all right patriots good work like i i like i because i i kind of have like a mixed feelings i don't agree with any of the canceling stuff probably like if it's like a teacher or something you're like yeah you know what you shouldn't be

teaching kids if this is the kind of shit you're saying like you have a higher standard but like a fucking cashier at home depot what are you doing who gives a shit fuck and also she's gonna go work at lowe's next week okay like if you think they're gonna be like why'd you and she goes i just kind of left home depot well i guess the thing is they're like people we want people to be scared to say that stuff and also you know what maybe she's doing that chick a favor because i'm sure someone's gonna some pro bono lawyer is gonna be like we're we guess what you never have to work she might have just got a fucking payday of the year right yeah well that is supposed to be sort of like the number one like if when you talk about free speech we talk

about jokes and shit like that but the number one is you should be able to say whatever they want about politicians if it sounds like you're actual a threat then they send the people to your house exactly and then that's where that went out of hand the other time where a guy would be like trudeau's a fucking goof and then the cia would show up or whatever yeah yeah shows up yeah and i mean again you shouldn't be able to threaten the life of a president except for the fact that they allowed it for four years that was fair game for four whole years where you could go on twitter and say i would like to kill the president and under Jack Dorsey's Twitter you should be able to go on and say

I hope either of these presidents die I mean again it's not the government it's tasteless it's like a tasteless behavior but like this isn't fucking America you're allowed to be tasteless I do it all the time

I do it all the fucking time you're allowed to do that in. I do it all the time. I do it all the fucking time, okay? You're allowed to do that in this country. And yeah, I mean, I bet she has a case for wrongful termination. I'm sure she does, and I'm sure Home Depot will give her a million dollars. Is there something in humans?

There's just certain people, there's just a lot, I guess a lot, I don't know what the exact percentage is. I would say probably 60% of women and maybe 40 of guys maybe 30 of guys 60 of women yeah just have a gene where they like they can't like they can't wait you can't wait to like enforce some fucking oh absolutely yeah it's i mean yeah i don't i don't agree teacher teacher look look look yeah i mean you would never catch me doing that shit in a million years of some fucking home even if a cashier at home depot was like i'm buying a ladder and she goes fuck wish the last guy

who bought a ladder fucking used it properly i'd be like that's kind of okay whatever it's not gonna catch me karen still need the ladder to pay my sometimes i wonder i'm like is my brain just too fried from like comedy and that stuff that like that you go am i wrong yeah and should i be out here being like oh yes and that eminem album he said some things i didn't like either we gotta get rid of eminem eminem album solid by the way there is a lot of money to be made in... Like, being just a chick... Being just a chick that's, like, upset...

Like, she can't fathom what she just saw and thinks there needs to be consequences is literally a good business model for people. Absolutely. And the thing is, she thinks she's better than the people on the left who do that same thing. Oh, yeah. Like, they all think they have the moral high ground they go no no my cancellations are

are just and right and yours are not and then you're like no you're the same people okay like you are the exactly the person you despise the other one they actually might have in some ways less of a high ground because like like i think someone made this point on twitter but it was like when they were canceling people like alex jones and those sort of stuff when you they actually were canceling like important people like and these were corporate like but my point is like that actually did work a little bit you know what i mean like it didn't work as much on like normal people and that you know kind of to some degree did but there was there were some ideas that they actually did cancel that didn't work on long term it never seems to however you know what i mean it kind of turned the turds but

there were some elections they might have swung by their shenanigans turn the tides oh like for example okay the hunter biden thing by like you know fucking suppressing that information it's fucking dirty as shit but like it did work with this is literally just fucking cashier this is she has no impact on anything she has no i mean she probably will have a big social media following now she'll be like home depot woman i won home depot lib on twitter does sort of work that way you know what i mean yeah and home depot lib could have a big following yeah she's the new cat turd yeah or whatever like yeah you can really turn into a big like she probably doesn't even want

to she's probably just like some fucking online spends all her time on facebook boomer and she just was like in a comment of her like friend i don't even know how this got public or whatever maybe his uh the gestapo public facebook and who's you know who is going through i guess i like i don't even know who finds these comments i guess they get screenshotted by some rando who probably knows her and then it just like gets on somehow makes its way on a lives of tiktok well i just wish that like i think all people always see it through the political prism where that's the problem is everyone sees it as like the left got to do it now we got to do it it's revenge i know but what they should see it is like stop letting girls control the discourse like fucking it's like chick shit and it's dudes

acting like chicks like i agree tattletailing i agree it's not you know what i mean i think people look at but you know whatever it's i think that uh i mean even with like the destiny stuff like you know everybody's getting kicked off everywhere i'm like he should be able to say whatever the fuck he wants if you don't like it just turn it off you were saying that the people who are getting mad about it and you know like they were saying the same thing but yeah you should be able to say that you think biden should die i don't know everyone i don't know in the paul pelosi thing is like yeah lots of people were making pretty tasteless jokes about the paul pelosi stuff and i didn't give a shit then and a lot of people didn't care until it's their

guy and i don't think there's any... It's not the same as the president, I understand, but like there is... Have you ever, has anything ever like offended you on that level of like, oh, come on.

No. Fuck no. Hell no. The only thing that ever offends me is just like bad comedy. Yeah, I might be offended like on... Yeah,

but I'm not like offended, pearl clutching offended. I'm just like, good God. Good God. You know? Right. It's like when I see some shitty comedy show on Netflix, I go, what the fuck is this?

It offends you that it was made. Yeah, it offends me that it was made. It offends me. It's a different sensibility that's offending me. But like, people are just like offended at tasteless comments. You know how we talk about the OnlyFans thing where we kind of like, where we're like, you know, you can make fun of the girls but really you're like come on boys get your act together stop paying for this you're to blame it's

like when you see the girls doing all that stuff it's like one thing like when when we knew a lot of people that were like cancelers it was the girls it was almost like their natural when you see like dudes like you know the guys who are like like a dude that's like a minion to like one of those people being like oh i found someone if you can't you're like that's like a minion to one of those people being like, oh, I found someone. If you can't find me, you're like, that's who. Get your act together, pal. Disgusting. If you're a grown man. Weak, weak men.

The weak men, too, ended up being a part of the Gestapo for definitely. Of course. Of course. It's just a natural pivot. Any Gestapo, left wing or right wing. So here's a funny article. Forbes deleted article claiming it is not unthinkable trump may use the shooting to reach black voters so they came out with this one pretty quick hot take

yeah you and my fucking 25 black comedians like literally black comedians being like they're doing my bit yeah fucking forbes stole my joke but it was funny like i think you're right i think forbes started to, they're doing my bit. Fucking Forbes stole my joke. But it was funny. I think Forbes started to think they were in the comedy realm. Forbes immediately, pretty quick off the draw came out. Forbes is like, Trump's like, my uncle at the cookout now.

Shut up. Forbes deleted an article saying, will surviving gunfire be Donald Trump's next appeal to black voters harper floated the idea that trump may be surviving the shooter as a new way to collect black voters and the blacks they love me because they know the terrifying sound of gunshots it isn't a claim that trump actually made but you can assume he might i mean the only thing i'll

say is this was always more racist yeah yeah but i think this was it was written by someone this was like a di expert who wrote this they brought him in they go we need the big guns right now wake him up the di expert you go we need your best fucking banger right now yeah di expert he's like uh where is he right now it's like uh he's making sure that every last white person at google has been removed and you're like he's just one more it's like, he's making sure that every last white person at Google has been removed. And you're like, he's just one more. It's like, we're going to have to pull you from your post. And he's just looking. He sees like one white male just like sitting in the back.

He's like, I got one more. No, no, he's one of the good ones. He's one of the good ones. He's gay. He's with us, man. He's with us. Just say the word. I'll fucking, I will write my report to get rid of him.

He's gay. He's gay. All right. Okay. We're going to need you at the Capitol.itol yeah so this guy's a dei expert i would say whatever that means i would say this guy's more of a dic case sucking expert i would love to know what's what how do you become a dei expert and we've talked about this like ad nauseum but like what makes you a dei expert you just know the fucking percentages

you don't know you're lying you're a good liar but i'm saying yeah you're a good liar but like you just know all the percentages of of race popular like the race population demographics so you can just be like oh well that's low no i think you know a lot of like uh propaganda theory you know what i mean like you know a lot of like fake articles that university professor right so you're kind of like listen i can provide you the mumbo jumbo to defend this. Right. I think you become, like, an expert in the mumbo jumbo to sort of, like, rationalize all this bullshit. All the circular logic bullshit where you can say, hey, you know, we can somehow talk our way out of it.

Right. So you're kind of like, listen, we want to fire all these fucking dudes and replace them with chicks. Yeah. What do I say? Uh-huh. You know what I mean? Yeah, what do I say to not get sued yeah what's the like what's the mumbo jumbo that goes along with the moves yeah so i think you become an expert in mumbo jumbo but it does always sound more racist

to have to say that because it's like obviously you have 80 people made that take but it does sound racist to have like for example he might be like look at me i'm a black poor black you know you just have to hey poor blacks i'm just like you i'm constantly getting shot at and they're like you know we're not constantly getting shot at though i don't i mean i don't know if yes you are because you're a criminal yes aren't you your whole family's involved in criminality no i just and you had no choice yeah no choice i will say that you had no choice to be part of that crime. Sure, I suppose in some cities in America, like Chicago. I'm not a criminal.

It's like, thank your lucky stars. I live in upstate New York. Just a quick reminder to the people that there is a new episode of The Boy's Cast every week at patreon.com slash theboy'scast. But a lot of people, I wanted wanted to say a lot of people don't realize that if you listen on itunes or spotify or wherever you listen youtube that you have to go watch it on patreon you can connect it to wherever you listen to podcasts and also the youtube link is there as well so however you like to listen to podcasts you can do it the same way

through the feed and we are about 100 people away more from doing episode 3 of our TV series that we do. Which is Bugman vs. Bugman. They're a half hour series. We did hot dog eating competition. We did building furniture. And then we're doing gun range, which is pretty topical right now. Pretty topical. Patreon.com slash TheBoysCast.

Best way to support the show. Alright, thank you. And we love you. And we love you. Okay, so what do you think?. Best way to support the show. All right. Thank you. And we love you. And we love you. Okay. So what do you think? And it just came off the heels. And then they did the fucking Republican convention.

And Trump came out to the, he came out to the, with the earpiece. Someone did a really funny version. The memes were on fire. But the video of Trump coming out, but had the Monday Night Raw Like a thing on it And it looked exactly like Just coming out on Monday Night Raw It's pretty funny Everyone was making the many men

People even did like An auto-tune of him singing many men Yeah, yeah, yeah I mean he's The memers are working full time, man So he's giving a speech tomorrow Well, so it's Wednesday now Tomorrow night he's giving a speech

To close out the RNC When they select him Even though it's Well, so what do he's giving his speech to close out the RNC when they select him. And J.D. Vance. That's what I'm going to ask you. What do you think of the J.D. Vance guy? So I don't know a ton about J.D. Vance. We have some friends who kind of know him a little bit, I guess. Yeah, they said they don't know him that well.

I know people have said his book was really good. And then the movie sucked. Oh, yeah, the movie of the book? Yeah, so the book was kind of i'm not i'm not like totally an expert i don't have a daily wire plus subscription so i can't watch the movie but no the buddy you are incorrect about that look who the director of that movie was my friend you are incorrect about your synopsis of what this movie was buddy this was like a big best-selling you oh it's on netflix on netflix look at directed it my friend oh ron howard this was a big deal yeah so he made this book it was a big too great in theater the

gist of it was kind of like the point of it was like there's these kind of like white hillbilly cultures yeah where they fall by the wayside from appal from Appalachia. But also, there's a lot of white people that, in his mind, kind of fall into these victim ideologies, and they won't do things to make their life better. He got nominated for an Oscar? This is a real deal. How did we miss this whole thing? You're thinking of this guy as some conservative guy.

This guy was this, the big Hollywood movie. Then he started getting into politics as like the never trumper oh okay i know he was the never trumper guy i didn't i didn't realize he started off with the movie well it was somewhat i think there was two sides of it some people think it was like a sympathetic kind of uh portrayal of like what it's like to be you know kind of like poor and white in the south like parts of canada where they're sort of forgotten and then the you know the middle class is like eroding but they're also making decisions that are making it worse which is essentially who the people voted for trump the first time around

like this is who trump was appealing to is all the forgotten poor white yeah there was some controversy where people who are from that area are just like yo this guy's not even from this area that's not what it's like here you know like he kind of you know people are just like this guy wrote a book about like burlington being like everyone's hillbillies here and you're like well no i don't know that's not really you're thinking of somewhere else but and then he was like oh i spent summers there so this is kind of okay so he's only as of 2022 he got into politics right so this guy was you know wrote this book that became like a best-selling movie right interesting okay so i'm gonna watch it then on the other side of it i I think that like the, I think a lot of the far right people

are just like, this guy's like an Israel Schell. They kind of see him like that. The part of it that it was always kind of funny to me because people were like, oh, this guy's like a Peter Thiel puppet. But I was like, well, I do like Peter Thiel though, so I don't know. Peter Thiel gave him 10 million for his campaign. Yeah, Peter Thiel kind of got this guy started, which I think Peter Thiel's really smart. Yeah, I like Peter Thiel gave him 10 million for his campaign. Peter Thiel kind of got this guy started, which I think Peter Thiel's really smart. I mean, I don't know every fucking thing he's been up to.

I mean, listen, I think that a lot of people, everyone has their issues. Some people, their issue is, you know, like identity stuff. You have some people that their issue, like the way that i kind of look at it is the there's two kind of schools of thought and the one school of thought is that you can tax your way out of problems and the other school of thought is you can grow your way to a problem yeah and to me that that those are probably like the two defining ideologies that i pick between sure if you think about it that way yeah and i mean i don't know peter teal's obviously the the other one i think trump recently has definitely been closer to that but sure sure so but anyway sir the only thing i know about was um mike cernovich basically because i guess uh he he basically he's getting fucking

hit hard from far far right internet for having like a indian wife and stuff like that yeah whereas i sort of saw solidarity in that i was like indian wife right right but um i guess he's more conservative than that what they're saying is he's more conservative than trump so uh cernovich essentially said that like uh trump should pick him as an insurance policy against further assassination attempts because you're like well if you don't like me you're gonna like this guy even less so if you kill me like then you get this guy that That was kind of his... I don't know. But he was saying that weeks before he picked him. Or do you think... And then immediately after the assassination attempt,

he went and picked him. Yeah, because he probably... He might have thought that guy was too hot and he has a bad press. And he has... Literally, he does have fucking... I mean, it does... It is funny to pick him

because this guy just has hours and hours of footage of this guy being like, Trump's the fucking worst. I mean, Kamala Harris said that about him. He was just this guy being like Trump's the fucking worst. I mean Kamala Harris said that about him. He was just teeing off on him for like four years. I think Kamala Harris has no shoulders or shit. Against Biden? Against Biden. I guess they all have it. I know. It's like they almost, it's there is this element, you know, it's like sports

almost where, you know, two guys were enemies and then one guy gets traded to the team his enemy's on and it's like, oh, it's all good. It's just funny when the things you're calling them is like a rapist and it's like, so you're relying then or you don't care about it like you know politicians i know i mean i'm not like yes it's the game listen you know i'll agree with you to some extent yeah but like you it's also real so it's hard to live your you can't just exclusive be like it's all fake like no well then you then you know i believe he believed those you know what i mean you could say that about anything where you're like any point anything

you're like well this guy said this now he's saying this that's all fake you know this this guy said this guy said he was not a communist now he's against this that's all fake like you can dismiss anything by it's all fake but this guy was teeing off on trump pretty hard yeah yeah i know yeah um i don't know. I guess Trump still thought he was the best guy to be the vice president. He might be a team player now, man. So people are saying he's bought and sold for.

He's bought and paid. But again, I'll say that. I guess it depends on who they're bought and sold for. Like if someone was bought and sold by you, I would be like, I don't know. Danny has pretty good opinions. I don't care if he's bought and sold by Danny. I mean, it is crazy. Someone was bought and sold by Peter Thiel. I'd good opinions so i would right i don't care these bought and sold by danny i mean it is crazy all someone's bought and sold by peter teal i'd rather be bought and sold by peter teal than be bought and sold by fucking zolinski zolinski sure it is crazy all the tech guys who are now like coming around to trump though like pretty

openly like yeah all those guys already were they just didn't want to well not all of them no like i was just actually listening to a podcast with mark andreessen who's he's the guy who started netscape navigator or whatever and like in the 90s and he's like a big tech guy and he runs this big like it's called like a71 or something and he was like a hardcore liberal like hard hardcore like he's yeah i was listening to last night he's like his dad was like a communist but then his dad became eventually like super conservative which i can't even understand like that seems the most idiotic to me that you could literally at some point hold both of those things but uh he was like he's like and you always want to be aware of people with to have these like massive swings like yeah yeah yeah like polar swings crazy to me but they're like it's like someone that like

easily excitable no real foundation like yeah but so mark andreason who's those are my most people that in my life i'm scared of is people that have wild swings yeah they'll fucking stab you in the back right yes well yeah because you're hoping that oh no but that they're done swinging it's like are they though no no they never are done swinging what's the wind like right now uh no i feel a breeze they're definitely throwing the piece of grass in the air to find out which way they're swinging yeah yeah but uh anyways he mark andreessen who's like a big time liberal guy and he's like i'm but that's all over the fucking israel but his no his his thing campuses wasn't that his big swing stuff because he goes the biden is so anti-tech and uh like the like to a

to the detriment of the national security of the country, essentially, that he's like, I just can't support. Without his national security. Because they want to limit all this AI stuff. And essentially, the biggest arms race right now. And this is from a defense standpoint. This isn't even like AI, like chat GPT. Like all the, like essentially, there was,

I can't remember what he called it. He said, you're going to be fighting an AI military. There's basically been like three huge advancements in, uh, military ever. And it was nuclear bomb, something else. I can't remember what it was.

And then he's like, AI is the next one. And these are like, and every country, this is going to be the next paradigm in defense. And like, you know know and if you fall behind you're getting sweet the democrats are just putting handcuffs on everybody and they're trying to like restrict it and he's basically like we are going to be so fucked as a country

furry handcuffs pink furry handcuffs but he's like we're gonna be so fucked as a country if this is allowed to happen so so everybody always votes for their reason like everybody has their reason for picking a candidate and you know they're generally they can plug their nose and you know let whatever other shit happen because like this is the thing i care about but you know to see all these i don't want them to ruin tech if i get an abortion then i'll have to go state over exactly you know what i mean exactly kind of thing he's like you know he's like i'm super liberal but he's like this specific issue for me is gonna like literally potentially ruin our well most people i think yeah you most of your life is one thing right and you're kind

of like what's the one that's gonna fuck up that is a maximum two-issue voter yeah because most of the things are sort of out of sight out of mind well they don't affect you most things don't affect you and you know if like you know everybody can stomach like a one percent tax increase or something you know obviously if there's every year taxes keep going up and it gets to the point where you're like, you know, and the crazy thing with taxes is they're kind of as high as they can go. Like, you know, New York City, you live here, you're like, you're paying fucking 50% of your taxes.

It can't go higher than that. I mean, you'd hope so that it's not going to be more than half. So they're kind of bumping up against the ceiling on that. but that's the thing though they can't fucking print any more money because inflation is sort of a problem so it's like you have two options that's what i was sort of saying you have two options you either tax your way out of which you can't but people think you can right yeah or option two is you can grow your way out of it like you know or well option three is spend less spend less austerity fucking good luck seeing that one pal i'll fucking hold my breath yeah yeah i mean i just saw yesterday uh stats canada here's danny

you're watching danny to fucking another pile well i mean it is possible to spend less maybe they'll spend a bit less yeah cut back on social programs and bureaucrats maybe the military will take a bit of a haircut this year everybody knows that uh some useless bureaucrat who works two hours a day wants to go work in the fucking private sector where they can actually get fired exactly Well, that's maybe possible. Those five are some of the government employees. Yeah, we'll just cut back on that. So that one ain't going to be happening, my friend. No, no, no.

But I was saying, oh, yeah, in Canada, this is just a minor thing, but Stats Canada came out and said it's the most government employees that there's ever been. So everybody just wants to work for the government. but stats Canada came out and said it's the most government employees that there's ever been. So they're, they're just, everybody just wants to work for the government. That's like, you know,

and I'm sure, I don't know if that's if the, I imagine the U S government is obviously the number one employer in this country as well. Well, if you always look at the things, there'll be like the craziest thing is most places. They kind of like what they pay and all that sort of stuff is like tied to

like growth and blah, blah, blah. Whereas then it was like, you know, it's just set. You're like like whether this is successful or not it just you know whatever right just this is our pay scale and it's indexed or whatever and it just always goes up so i think that number goes up they all both parties have like a big fucking divide right now the right one definitely if you watch the republicans they have a big divide between like sort of like

you know conservative catholics like social conservatives and then people are just like yeah we want like we don't want fucking huge taxes and yeah and wars that were like you know i think that and i think they're the harming i think they're the right one because i think the other one it was like they're living in a fantasy land but i think the problem is a lot of those people uh that are pushing that it was like it's not really about them it's like those ideas's not really about them. It's like those ideas, those,

the same as like pushing communism is always going to be like a profitable business model. Sure. Pushing sort of like a super socially conservative agenda is always going to be like a profitable model.

So there's always going to be people pushing it. But it's like, I think the idea that everything's just going to go back to like some, you know, time in the, like you have to, it's all, that's over. We don't go back. back to like some you know time in the like it's you have to yeah yeah it's oh that's over we don't go back without like some you know we don't go backwards

you don't really no i mean some people were like with the abortion thing we did but again it's still up to the states and that's arguably how that should have been to begin with that was the point of it so uh yeah i don't uh i don't i don't know about this well even like the thing is even if you do go to something that resembles like you know and then people say history doesn't repeat but it like rhymes yeah it's like you might go to something that like resembles but like the idea of like just actually going back to like some you know christian society with we have phones it's like it's a different world yeah it's a different world for sure yeah i don't uh yeah i don't know don't know about what about this this whole thing just in general just danning kohlschuk you heard it here first does not

know you lost me i'll talk a bit more so okay so that was the other one with the they had the convention um okay we'll move on this main thing i actually this main thing is the funniest thing i've ever heard about yes definitely i'll tell you one thing you gotta go show up to the fucking uh we'll tell them what it is well i was just gonna say that the one thing that was funny though when i was at the you know what i wanted to mention is do you know know who Taylor Pendrith is? No. PGA Tour? No. Anyways, I have a cousin, second cousin that's on PGA Tour. Oh, that's cool.

Taylor Pendrith. I thought you would know who he was. No. I mean, the PGA Tour has like 150 members. Apparently, he's doing pretty good. I already made like three mil. Really? Hey, he's cooking.

No, I never heard of him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they've been all following him because I was talking about his family. I know his cousin. So I'm second cousins right so i guess my dad's got some uh some passes hmm they said get him to hook us up with some passes let's go watch the pga i've never even heard it i've never even heard of this guy until two days ago and someone told me this i've been told this a couple times but i never really registered but now he's cooking but i know his like comedy his cousin was a musician in Toronto that I knew,

and he played in a band that I'm actually, he's actually still a friend. He was at my Toronto show. That's his cousin, but we're all like, our parents are cousins kind of thing, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's a comedy where you're doing comedy,

and then you start doing well, and you go, oh, oh, yeah, yeah. Exactly. When you're on the corn ferry. Now it's like a fun fact. You're like, oh, he's on the corn ferry tour, and you go, oh, whatever. Okay, sure. How much does he make? He goes, he loses money. It's really expensive to be a golfer. corn now it's like a fun fact oh he's like on the corn fairy tour and you go whatever okay sure how

much does he make he goes he loses money it's really expensive to be a golfer he actually loses money every year buddy i fucking injured myself up north too because a gainer no there was a gainer off the dock what's a gainer you fucking run and then you flip backwards oh i can do one of those but i did not this way no there was like huge, me and my brother had a bunch of competitions. There was basically like. Feats of strength? Oh, yeah, definitely feats of strength. So there was one, basically, it was like 12 flights of stairs at this huge cottage.

And then we did a race up there. And I won, but he was beating me. But he used all his fucking energy the first seven, eight sets. And then he just basically cacked out at the end and I took over. So I did take it. But like both of us were like i literally felt sick i was like sitting down and then the next day i could barely walk yeah and then i was playing uh pool volleyball and i think i pulled like i think i pulled my shoulder out welcome to middle age ryan dude by the end of it i was burnt to a crisp i I could barely walk. My shoulder was

hanging on by a thread. I really fucking took a beating. Oh yeah. I was catching W's though. Yeah. But I was. You got the wins. Well, you know, it's nice to beat the younger brothers. That's for sure. I was, yeah. But I was in rough shape. I mean, that'll happen.

That will happen. But Spain, this is what these people have gotten going on here. Spain introduces porn passports to stop kids from watching smut. So, a lot of people do want them to figure something out so the kids can't be watching porn. Which is not unreasonable. Like, again. How it plays out is hilarious.

I often think, like, man, I don't know what it would be like being a teenager with just, like, just full access to porn all the time. I know. I remember printing out my one photo, having it fucking balled up. Dude, I remember I went to someone's house,

and then the dad had like, they're like, oh, my dad has like a fucking every Playboy ever or whatever. And then someone was like, you want to take one? I was like, yeah. And then I remember I took one, and then I just like, but I couldn't like, I was like worried yeah. And then I remember I took one, and then I just like, but I couldn't like, I was like worried to keep it in my house,

and I just like ripped out a few of the pages and just had those full. Those pages must have been fucking nice at the time. That shit was hard to come by, man. You're jacking off to fucking calendars and, you know, like catalogs and shit like that. Britney Spears music videos.

Whatever you can get, man, using your mind like a sorcerer. But anyway. Now these kids are going to have to go back to the woods. These kids are going to... That's going to be real fucked, man. I'm sure they'll figure it out. Like in the year 2050 and all these kids are like, yeah, I had to go. All these guys are like, yeah, when I was

a teenager, I had to get porn in the woods. They're going to have to again, too. Yeah, because they had to do a masturbation passport. Porn viewers will be asked to use the app to verify their age once verified they'll receive 30 generated porn credits with a one month validity granting them access to adult content enthusiasts if you want to view a little more yeah we'll be able to request extra credit you gotta go in person though Show up like day one. You go, I need more credits.

You use all 30 credits today. I need more credits. I said I need more credits. What is this fucking communist China? I need more credits, okay? Give me more credits. You know what people do on black market credits in the alleyway? Give me fucking more credits.

Come on, man. I just need a couple credits. So, yeah, you have to show up. i don't think you have to show them you can have as many credits as you want you have to it's like the dm and there's a hot chick working there dmv is all just dudes just waiting around being like waiting for their number to get called you know so he used 4400 credits so far this month. And they have it on the loudspeaker. Yeah. Daniel Polishchuk. Is there a Daniel Polishchuk?

Daniel, we have your masturbation credits. Daniel Polishchuk, who has used all his credits for pornography. Step up if you want one more credit. Yeah, you got to get them one at a time daniel polishuk we have here that the credits that there's also gonna be oh there's gonna be all on a registry yeah you just sign up on this public registry and you get more credits there's like a leaderboard who's used the most credits this month we've given you 30 credits they didn't even make a dent step up if you'd like a few more that's the thing too i don thing, too. I don't know if even VPNs bypass this.

No, I don't think they do. I don't think they do. I don't know. I don't think they do. Well, it's probably just connected to anything in that country, right? Yeah. But you have to understand, the big thing here is this is the in-between stage before they try to hit you with that traceable, what do they call it?

Social passport. Social passport. Yeah, yeah. This is the start of it. You know how every invention always goes through porn do they call it? Social passport. Social passport. Yeah, yeah. This is the start of it. You know how every invention always goes through porn, they always say? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like every, you know, the internet always starts with porn? That's how they're going to get every dude that doesn't, every dude's kind of like, I don't want to be fucking tracked on this app. It's like, I mean,

you already kind of are, but like how they're going to get you to officially be tracked like totally by everything. It is really true. I don't know if you saw this. There was an AT&T hack the other day. Yeah, where all the stuff came out.

But they said there was no. Yeah, it was like every group chat got released. But there's no identifiers on it. It was just the raw data. Yeah, but numbers were attached to a lot of it. Oh, I didn't know about the numbers. Well, apparently they said numbers were attached and text messages were attached. However.

As an AT&T customer you sweating a bit little bit I was sweating fucking I'm only human you think I wasn't sweating a little bit and the thing that they said though they were like well it wasn't the contents or whatever but you're just reading this being like okay but like so that's an option that potentially like someone just goes in

and so what the fuck yeah yeah I mean there's dude you need to literally get the fucking uh that whatever call it phone the oh what i don't know there's that one phone the conspiracy theorist is already was saying he wants to get it dumb phone or whatever i don't know what it's called but like the fact of the matter is the that this stuff can be hacked and they just have like a data of just like group chats and it can be hacked you're like okay they're like oh close call and you're like so it was a close call you guys are you doing anything about this to maybe i don't know it doesn't happen

again what can you do though i mean i'm sure they have a thousand people in this department i mean this would be the ashley madison hack times fucking 10 000 if they just released this iphones though everyone's text messages for the last five years? I thought iPhones are encrypted, though, somewhat. I know they're not, like, super encrypted, but, like, I thought that, you know, all your shit's stored on your phone and probably AT&T. I don't know.

Like, I don't know if your carrier can access... The government seems to be able to get text messages somehow, one or another. Yeah. If they're looking for a crime, they seem to be getting phone records. Well, Android... The phone company has...

They can get it. Yeah, Android and iPhone, though, is different. Like, I don't know if because Android is technically all SMS messages. Maybe it's just the Android users. Because iPhone has, I mean, I'm sure Android has security too. So I don't know. But

yeah, I don't know what the AT&T. All I saw is I saw it come out and then they were like, and maybe this is just damage control and maybe it's not the case. Exactly exactly who even knows what to believe man just wait Danny's eating the slop oh they got it under control it's all good you got nothing to worry about

none of those damning texts will be coming out anytime soon so don't worry Ryan I mean dude it is like it is one of those things where you basically are just like it is possible in my lifetime everyone's released every text message and that's the end of the world yeah i mean the only thing well yeah if it's you go for your bunker you run for the bunker yeah yeah like if it's a spreadsheet that you can kind of like hit the find button on and just enter a phone number i think what happens is you take

your because that happens and they're basically like mayhem is loose and then you basically take your family before they can read the news or the thing and you go we have to get to the middle of nowhere so that's the world's about to break down we gotta get to the bunker and then should we take our phones snap their phones no that's how they find us no phones and you live happily ever after and you shack in the woods

I mean you probably wouldn't have the worst life out there I'll tell you some people are living out in these cottage countries they are just fucking chilling out there and they're not tapped in man yeah they're not tapped they probably are tapped into boomer fucking facebook but maybe but they just probably are just out on their tube there is a lot of people cruising around on a tube not tapped in no no they're just bummed that they can't hang in bob cage in watching the constell the constellations. Can't drink in tube.

Can't drink in boat anymore. That's their thing. People are worried about politics. Their thing is like, can't even have a fucking beer and drive the boat anymore. Well, buddy, it is funny that you say that because the premier of Ontario, which is Doug Ford, the big thing right now, we're in America, they're like the president's almost getting shot. They're having these huge conversations about the fate of the world essentially all the wars they're big while in ontario their big issue there is the lcbo is closed so the beer store is closed yeah you just

can't buy hard hard liquor right now in ontario that is actually the biggest issue right now because the government they always go on strike right teachers and beer store employees go on strike every second and they're just like okay well why can't anyone else sell it and they're just like oh it has to be us it has to be us we're like why monopoly on it why well it's because that's what funds their fucking roads and shit and they're yeah their argument is like well that if uh if if you didn't let us sell it you wouldn't make as much money and they're like well we'll just charge the tax so we'd make exactly the same money and we'd have less bureaucracy we'll kill you it's a fucking cushy job okay we're not just giving this up crazy that's that's the big thing over there yeah but i mean i'll tell you what if there is any more

big hacks i probably won't get off but i'll consider it considering Consider it moving. Jumping ship? I'd strongly dude just imagine how many people that just like the smallest thing like they've just been trashing everyone that they

work with. You know what I mean? Like you've been talking shit about your boss all fucking year and now that's public and now you're fired.

You're not fired but you're like how do you John Gruden got fired for that? What happened to him again? They found his emails talking shit about his boss? they was they did a big uh like um investigation

into the nfl and then john gruden was talking shit about roger goodell ari yeah yeah yeah yeah and they're like he was just talking shit and called him like the f slur and uh well it does feel like things have moved in faster than like the security for normal people is like caught up and you just have to like assume they got it under control you know and it turns out they do not yeah yeah well i guess i guess we'll tbd on this 18 how good would the wank be when you only have fucking one credit left you know when people are like looking for the perfect video and you're like i don't know you know if i on this, it's a bad one. It's only 30 seconds.

Fuck. How do the credits work? Is it for a session or is it for a fucking spend? I hope it's not a timed thing. Each one's only two minutes. You go, two minutes? I'm gooning over here. You see the fucking counter timing down?

Oh, my God. It's like the old school nudie. You just put six minutes Oh my God. It's like the old school, like nudie. You just put six minutes on the clock. It's like the peep show where you're in Times Square and then the fucking window goes down.

You go, no, no, no. The system will be available by the end of the summer and it will be voluntary. I don't get that part of it. Well, it starts as voluntary. Well, who would volunteer for that? What does that even mean

if you volunteer? What are you going to volunteer to be on the credit wanking system? You know what it is? It's the people who ban themselves from casinos It's the same thing It's because people have gambling problems And they go to the casino and they go I'd like you to ban me from the casino

And then because that way they can't get in So you think this is for porn addicts That put themselves on the credit system It's going to start as that And then they're going to be like now it's's going to be managed, just to test it out. The problem they're trying to solve, I guess, they're saying is kids getting porn, and it's fucking up their brains, which is probably

is, you know, it should kind of be like that. And the question is, how do you do that without, like, making everyone wait in the government line for their porn credit? The line. I guess the face ID is the only way you do well they do it the same as the kyc for crypto or whatever that that's how it's going to be where you just need

id and but i mean yeah but then how could a kid not just get a fake id like i don't i mean there will be ways around this i'm sure but there will be not easy ways around this it'll probably yeah crack down on a lot of it well here's the thing if you get a fake id for example if you're like i'm gonna use my buddy's id that id's been registered but you know one of these things it is gonna fuck up a lot of dudes because there's gonna be one of those things where the it'll be like your internet will be and the mom will kind of be like okay so we have the internet checking if the kid went on it's like oh no he went on it twice yesterday you're like I'll talk to him. It's going to be a lot of that.

You know what I mean? A lot of people who don't have ID now are like, you know, just like those guys are like, yeah, I don't have any ID. Fucking Johnny. You go, I got to go get it. Yeah, you got two now. You go, I got to go get ID. It heralds an EU law going into force in October 2027, which will require websites to stop minors from accessing porn. Yeah, so it has a date

when it's going to be in effect. 2027. 2027, so get those hard drives. Fill up those hard drives. You got three years of cranking. Oh, in other news, hard drives are out of stock in all of Spain. Let the cranks begin. I would hate to have to get credits, man.

But the thing is, it will likely be replaced by EU's very own digital identity system, the so-called Wallet app, allowing people to access a smorgasbord of public and private services across the whole block. So literally everything conspiracy theorists said about the whole COVID stuff with the passports. They're doing it for porn. Well, it's better. All this other shit, too.

But I'm saying it's better to do it for porn because you're gonna get less pushback because no one really wants to be that public about like same with covid they go hey there's like a health people would you know but there was like there go there's a health crisis emergency yes we're doing this they rule they roll it out for an emergency then they're like now it's for porn listen i'll just even rand paul is gonna be less wanting to stand up and uh going on a fucking hour long a tirade in the congress about why you should be able to fucking wank yeah yeah for sure i'm a goddamn libertarian but that's what i'm saying i feel like covid didn't work because you know too many people kind of were onto the shenanigans maybe this is how they get you the second time because there's

not a lot of people that are going to be wanting to because liberals get in line with the government programs yeah and i think the conservatives aren't going to want to fight for fucking uh wanking rights and yeah and not only that but they're doing it they're saying they're doing it your only option is to go vote out the party in power who's implementing it. And you're like, yeah, that's kind of like 10th on my list of problems. So I'm not going to, that's not my issue. I'm not going to be my single issue voter on the porn pass. I know.

Right. Right. So they're like, we have all these other problems. And I'm like, and a lot of people do want them to solve it for kids. And they always do this where they go, yeah, we'll solve it. Also, it's, we're going to get something out of it. Oh, you think we're just going to solve a problem? We're going to

solve a problem. We're going to kill two birds here. Now when you jaywalk, money is directly debited out of your bank account. They never do process. The government will never just try to solve one thing at once. They need to solve. They try to always solve

five problems at once, and they end up solving none. Maybe this will be a big thing for OnlyFans. Does that apply to OnlyFans? I wonder, do you need the porn passport for an OnlyFans? Hmm. That's a good question. Yeah, maybe that'll be a big boom for OnlyFans. Why would it be a boom? Oh, you're saying it'd be a boom because people will do OnlyFans because they don't want to get the passport.

They don't want to get the passport for the Pornhub and whatnot. Well, ladies and gentlemen, we will be going over to the Patreon. I have actually a couple of the best articles for this week. And I'm going to let you know what I really think about this Trump situation. Daniel Polachuk is going to let the guard

down and let the games begin at Patreon.com slash The Boys Cast. Fight! Fight! Fight!