The Boyscast with Ryan Long - Reacting to THE TRUMP vs BIDEN DEBATE, a Stabbing Outside My House & The 'Gayest Show Ever' w/ JJ & Justin

Episode Date: June 28, 2024

Debate Shit-show recap! Comedians Justin Silver & JJ Liberman join the Boyscast to discuss Justin’s insane experience at a “rehabilitation” school reminiscent of “The Program,” and a predictable encounter with Kevin Spacey. SUPPORT THE BOYS PATREON.COM/THEBOYSCAST  SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! Marek Health - https://marekhealth.com/boyscast - Get a 10% discount on diagnostic testing (use code Boyscast) Sheath Underwear - Go to http://sheathunderwear.com and use promo code BOYSCAST for 20% off your order Fitbod - Go to http://fitbod.me/boyscast for 25% off your subscription RYAN ON TOUR:  Auckland: July 24, Sydney, July 25, Melbourne: July 27, Brisbane: July 31, Perth: Aug 1, Saratoga Springs: Aug 9/10, Fort Wayne: Oct 11/12, Louisville: Oct 13, Phoenix: Feb 14-16, Portland: Feb 25/26, Edmonton: Jan 24-26, Tacoma: Feb 27-March 1, Minneapolis: Jan 17-19 - ryanlongcomedy.com SUPPORT THE BOYSCAST:  https://www.patreon.com/theboyscast http://ryanlongcomedy.com Ryan @ryanlongcomedy Danny @dannyjokes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Fellas, I am fresh back from Danny Polischuk's Hawaiian wedding where the big man is going to be there for eight more days. So he's going to be back next episode. But out of respect for Danny, I will not be doing an intro out of respect for the big man. But I put together a super episode, a banger episode this week. So first, not first, but we had J.J. Lieberman and Justin Silver on the podcast to go through a whole bunch of stuff, which was actually a pretty crazy episode. And then came back to the studio at 9, watched the Trump debates, and responded with my take on everything that just happened there.

And then on top of that, if you want this t-shirt, RyanLongStore.com, the Fellows University, FU. And I'm going to announce some tour dates because I've been actually putting together this tour in the fall, which I'm going to release a special and then go on tour with all new material. And I'm going to Auckland, Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Perth, Saratoga Springs, Fort Wayne, Nashville just announced, Chicago, Louisville, Phoenix, Portland, Edmonton, Tacoma, Minneapolis. So this is the super episode of the boys cast and also on

the patreon me and we went through all the Julian Assange stuff and more so all right thank you patreon.com slash the boys guys ryanlongstore.com r that we had today, we stayed at the studio all day. So I've been here for eight hours so we could watch the debate to give the takes. J.J. Lieberman was not happy with the debate. I'll tell you something. Okay. I'll tell you something.

I'm realizing right now that if your whole life, like I'm literally seeing as the lights go on, we're here watching the debate. If your whole life is based on being a political person you're doing like this is your day every day politics how big of a deal it is i would also hate it it sucks you're just you're saying that i don't i kind of don't get your point if i'm being honest right now i'm trying i'm trying to go with what you guys are watching that like covering politics sucks i actually went when i was younger uh i actually was at like a newsroom for a debate once because then some guy i was randomly i was

when i was working at the hockey rink and i got talking to some guy and he goes if you want you can come with me to the debate and i was like in grade 11 and i went and sat in the newsroom and i was like a pa basically you liked it no i was pretty boring i kind of thought at the time i was like yeah this is kind of cool and then when i I actually watched it, you're just like, whatever. That's what I mean. Like right now, this is like this. You didn't think that was interesting, though? No, I thought it was.

I think you're just tired. I think that's your problem. It could be. I'm tired. I thought there was honestly, there was like, I would say most people watching out of the gate were just like, this is not great for the country. I don't think anyone was like super involved, loving everything that was going on. But I'll say, the funniest part,

first out of the gate, Biden came out looking real all out of the gate, right? Really right. So he came out, when he first started, he comes out and he was just like... He was mumbling. The first six minutes, I was just like, oh, this is brutal.

Eyes were blinking. But then, probably by the end, he was so bad at the beginning that it seemed like he wasn't as bad near the end. Still brutal and really, really old. But at the beginning, he came out crazy bad. And then, by the way, I don't know if you know this, because he was coughing and all this stuff, trying to clear his throat,

as soon as it ended, every news place basically posted that he had a cold and they were like already trying to run with the story of like they're already doing damage control right after it came out have you ever been to a walmart or something like that and you're checking out and there's an old dude bagging yeah it was it was like that and i felt bad that was probably my the funniest part to me was when because they would first of all well i'll just say this when they That was probably the funniest part to me was when, because they would, first of all, well, I'll just say this. Probably the funniest part to me was when they were talking about how old they were and then they're like, is it going to be a problem? And then basically they started arguing over who's better at golf.

Yes. Highlight of the debate for me. I've seen the swing. He goes, I've seen your swing. You're not a six. I could actually beat you when I had a handicap. They started arguing. This kind of happened a lot where they just go back and forth.

He goes, you're the worst president. He's actually the worst president. It's like, actually, you're the worst president. It's weird because they kind of just said the same thing over and over again, which was like, this guy's the worst. This guy's the worst. It just really shows, exposes the system that it's a figurehead and other people are running it. You think so? Yeah, let's get these people

who are actually making the decisions. Definitely they should be. If that was a debate, it was like, what did him really no favors was because we're watching on this YouTube stream and then they kept cutting to old presidents because I guess that's when they do commercials. They were showing all the old presidents. C-span.

Then when they cut to Biden and it was, I guess, three years ago, three and a half years ago, right? 2020 looked great. He was honestly pretty fine. And then they cut back to him. It's like, this guy is almost dead. The man is not looking good, folks.

No, not looking good. New York City aged me as a 43-year-old in two years. I lost my hair, but I'm not running the country. Well, obviously, it's like with him, you're just like, okay, so 100% it'd be Kamala Harris. That's a guarantee. Which is also even worse because if he aged in this four years, if that's what it looked like, what is the next four?

Oh, brutal. The guy's done. Trump's kind of seen the same. They showed Trump's thing. He sort of looked the same. He's going to age like AI. In four years, this could be a different thing. It's going to age like AI. In four years, it's going to be a different thing. It's going to be exponential, 100%.

So the man wasn't looking good. But that's the scary thing about Kamala Harris, because I haven't seen her in four years. I know. They keep her in a dungeon, dude. She's literally fucking locked in. She goes. She comes out for one, like, every now and then she comes out for, like every now and then she comes out for like one thing to like you know do like a speech at like some black dinner in like a like a city that you never

heard of you know what i mean in a legion hall yes okay what did you think there was uh trump's good things and bad things uh just honestly the i i think i was so upset about the debate because i had big expectations from it. It was a letdown in general. It was complete letdown in general. And no one likes a reboot. That's the problem, man, with America. Like, no matter what, however much you liked Bad Boys, the new Bad Boys is not going to be as good.

Bad Boys 5, this is 100% you went to see a movie and you're kind of like, obviously the first one was better. Yeah, it seems very stale. That's what I felt about this. They said the same thing over and over especially biden's things you're like not only is he saying the things from like before you're like you're saying the things that everyone's kind of made your mind up on you've already heard the thing that they're trying to say like for example trump said find people on both sides then you've watched the actual video and if you want to believe that you can believe that you know what i mean you're not so now it was just like.

There's no facts. I guess it's pandering or something to like people that already agree with you to some degree. There was literally no facts. And they both already had a term. So which is they've never had that before probably, right? Maybe once before back in the day. It was brutal. It was just like you were a year four years sucked.

It was like you're four years fucking sucked. Yeah, you're bad. You're bad. Yeah. So it's a lot of that. You're a loser. No, you're a loser. And then they lot of that you're a loser no you're a loser and then they had toddler rules so there's no interrupting so on top of that because it was toddler rules

where basically they turned their mics off uh when they were speaking because of that so then they would always have something to say and they asked them a new question they never answered a question right so they're just like i remember what was the one i wrote down they there's like a bunch of them but he was like that was when they started the worst president stuff. He was just like, what is your plan for child care? He goes, this guy's a piece of shit. He was the worst president.

They didn't answer the questions. They didn't do anything near the questions for most of the questions. I think that looks embarrassing on behalf of the country. That's sort of sad to watch. I think other countries watch this. The super country. That's sort of sad to watch. Yeah. I think other countries watch this, like the superpowers. Like, the superpowers are China, Russia, North Korea. North Korea because of military superpowers.

I didn't think Trump looked that bad. No, I don't think he looked bad. He just, like, he looked, he did just, as far as the stuff he was saying, he kind of said the same thing over and over again. He just said the same thing over and over again. I kind of felt like he would have been better off, like, letting Biden be that bad and just being normal. He was kind of said the same thing over and over again. I kind of felt like he would have been better off letting Biden be that bad and just being normal. He was kind of... He does the thing where you just sort of talk and then I'm sure that you've done that

on a podcast or whatever. I did it right at the start of this. You kind of just start talking and then you just say stuff. He did a lot of that where he was just kind of like run-on sentences about how bad Biden is or whatever. But I guess the things he actually said were like more

true it seemed like biden everything he said was just kind of like a cnn talking point from 2015 you know what i mean yeah you said the only thing i think that i kind of agree with the abortion thing was kind of that was one of the categories they did uh roe v wade yeah yeah i i was i was kind of watching the abortion part and what like kind of thinking about watching it like okay like chicks i know that are like somewhat reasonable yeah like how they're seeing it and i was trying to like watch it through their eyes that are very because a lot of the debate was like if this guy's in it's going to blow up the country if this guy's in you're dead like both of them were sort of like it's the end of the world if the other guy goes in right and i

was kind of watching it through that eyes of like a woman and i was yeah i felt like he uh he probably could have said less in that part yeah which he should have said less yeah because it's like it was one of those things where like the people that uh that are super for abortion already agree with him you already have them a little bit where it also seems like more people are they've kind of uh i feel like the people who are anti-abortion are more extremists and vocal about it where the people who are what are they gonna do vote liberal like you already got them you know yeah that's right yeah the people who are pro-choice there's a it just seems like even can there's a lot of conservative people who are more pro-choice that's what i'm saying i think that you have a lot of kind of people that are probably pro-choice that were going to vote for Trump. So

you could have, I think that when he said he was like, it's down to the States, I think he could have just stuck with that. There was probably like four times where I felt like Trump made a pretty good point. I was like, that's a pretty good answer. And then he just talked for another two minutes and it kind of made it worse. And you're just like, if you just said the first thing, you didn't really need to keep going and going. You that thing like it's like i know how everyone like incriminates themselves in court when they just keep talking a liar a liar keeps that a good liar doesn't say much a bad liar well i was uh yeah there was there was a bunch of stuff he said where i was like he didn't really need to say much more but it is they didn't give very anecdotal i thought this stuff

with afghanistan was good too where he's like but they didn't give very anecdotal, I thought this stuff with Afghanistan was good too, where he's like, but they didn't give an anecdotal like with, in terms of like the open border. Like, why is he not saying there's 40,000 migrants in hotels in New York City right now? He didn't say numbers. He was just saying a lot of hotel, but it sounds like, it just sounds like, oh, these are blanket statements opposed to like 40 000 people this amount of

dollars that amount like it's i i felt like it lacked facts and the facts that they did say were kind of like they were both like biden was just like really throwing out haymakers of facts where it was just like he he threw out so many things that i felt like like i wrote down a couple i mean his gaffes was hilarious basically the beginning. There's a thousand trillionaires. Thousands of trillionaires that we've made. He was like, the bleach in the arm. The kids in the cages stuff. He said a bunch of stuff.

He said on Trump. That was Obama when you were the vice president. There was a bunch of that stuff. The funny thing was too. Suckers and losers. The army loves me. He's like, actually they like me. The army of everyone. When he called them super predators and

obama uh uh biden went his face went he was so mad oh yeah he didn't like that that was another thing i thought about trump was that the way that his face moves uh he always goes like you know what i mean and instead i felt like he if biden said lies he'd be better off like shaking his head no like i know that seems like such a small thing but he kept doing a face that looked like he was nodding yes oh i didn't notice that no i kept if he kept thinking he kept looking at him and going but i was like it seems like you should be nodding no you know you should go like make a face like what that's crazy but he kind of made a face it looks like he's nodding in approval you know what biden does seem like he does seem like if that was your grandfather he'd still be kind of sharp with understanding stuff in the conversation but he

couldn't like execute conversation well like he's still sharp-minded right but he can't he can't really i don't think sharp-minded i think that he's like smart enough guy that's been doing this long enough that he's able to probably like click into being a politician yeah do you know what i mean like probably if you like um who's that stand-up the uh uh gilbert godfrey yeah so he was like really kind of apparently pretty bad near the end oh really except for when he went on stage i think biden's been a politician for so long. They know how to turn it on. Yeah, and you just sort of like, he just kind of like clicks into being a politician and it's like autopilot a little bit.

He has that sort of muscle, but anytime that he has to like think on his feet, that's when he really starts saying thousand trillionaires. Yeah, maybe that's also true about like when you get that rush of adrenaline because there's a guy who gave a speech once. He died. Do you remember the don't give Up, Don't Ever Give Up,

the basketball coach? He was dying of cancer, and he gave this tremendous speech at this ESPN awards ceremony. But he couldn't even walk that morning, but just because of the rush of the light. I think Biden's got a bit of that. Yeah, yeah. But still, I think, again, though,

it was like when you're a half an hour in you were kind of comparing it to the first five minutes where the first five minutes you're like this guy belongs in a fucking casket big l and then people were tweeting 10 minutes you're like i guess he's like sort of a human now which was comparing it to the beginning it just seemed better but then when they showed the old him you're just like this is. I think what happens is that after the 30 minute mark, you kind of get kind of like with RFK. If you hear RFK talk for the first time, you're like, what the fuck? But then you get used to it. I think he got better, though.

I think he was like a little sharper. No, I just think he was like really struggling in the seven minutes. Then he became like his normal self. Yeah, maybe. But his normal self still was not bad. It was brutal. Yeah. Again,

like if you see this guy bagging your groceries at Walmart, you would feel brutal. That was one of the craziest things is where they asked like the question about, uh, you know, some people have problems with like the fact that you guys are so old. And then Biden has to be like,

he's actually old. And it was like, okay, come on. Well, fuck you have eyes. Like if you, like you, at that point, you to be like, he's actually old. And it was like, okay, come on. Well, fuck, you have eyes. Like, at that point, you're just like, when he, when I think Trump said like something about him being a politician and he's just like, he's, you know, he'll say whatever,

lie to your face. That was like, that was the epitome of that, where you're like, you have a guy that I'm watching, like, he's barely there. And he's just like, this guy's the one who should fucking take cognitive tests but trump doesn't see i just watched trump on did you watch him on uh logan paul he doesn't seem much older than he ever did yeah yeah he doesn't when i didn't watch that i watched the celebrity apprentice uh 2012 2013 i was really into it. I would watch that every Sunday night. And he seems no different.

Yeah, it's just similar. I think that people, when they say that he's way older, it's like, yeah, you're lying. Yeah, he doesn't. I mean, the guy does golf every day. It's really hard to age when you're an older guy and you're doing something physical every day. And there is something to that. Of course.

But I think with most old people, it's like you're fine, and then it just switches. And then once it switches, it seems to happen pretty rapidly. Yes, quick. The downfall's fast. The downfall's fast. And it seems like, I guess, you look at that video of him before and then look at it now.

You're like, okay, that was four years. Like, another four years. Are you, like, crazy? crazy yeah it's very scary so then there's okay the other thing that was funny to me was that like because obviously uh you know trump probably got like the worst media coverage out of any president and it's interesting that his strategy is just to sort of like ignore that like he anytime he talks about anything he did he goes and every like even this grovey wade thing he was like and everyone agreed with it everyone he said that he's like the most beloved guy like he kind of just it's like he just you're like you know you were the most hated pretend msnbc doesn't exist rachel madhouse doesn't exist he just sort of like

pretends everyone loves him or who hates him he didn't even go after him. Yeah, it sort of works a little bit. It's like if you're trying to pick up a girl and you're just like, dude, women love me. And she's like, it's almost like, you know when a guy has a hot chick, it convinces the girls, I don't know, maybe this guy's attractive or something. Girls seem to like him.

I think that's his technique. Pick up artists. Yeah, if I just tell everyone how much everyone loves me, they're like, oh man, maybe I'm crazy for hating him so much everyone seems to love him do you think the strategy was for do you think his camp told him to calm down because biden's gonna be so bad that's why he didn't say fake news he didn't do a lot of fake news yes he didn't do a lot of that stuff he didn't say sleepy joe he didn't do fake news no he i agree yeah i think you yeah but neither did biden really imagine america but it also sounds like when Biden did say that once, it sounded very cliche.

When he said what? He goes, Trump's MAGA America. It sounded cliche. Almost hack. I couldn't agree more. So much of this stuff that like they were like when Biden was relying on that stuff, it really felt like 2015. Yeah, hack.

Yeah, it did feel like. Yeah. Stale. stuff it really felt like 2015 yeah hack yeah it did feel like yeah stale well it feels like someone you know like uh talking about uh toxic masculinity like non-ironically you're like that moment's over yeah like no one really like everyone who was like all about that stuff like kind of everyone's agrees that stuff's over so yeah nobody talks about it someone's no one uses that phrase without kind of being like even like white privilege if someone says that they're kind of like yeah white like they kind of have a little bit of like irony to it because like everyone disagrees i have a thing like that where i want to say hipster on

stage to explain the person but i feel that like just saying hipster feels like you're old old yeah but i think that there was a bit of that where he was kind of like when he was saying to find people on both sides drinking bleach all that sort of stuff it was just like yeah but no one answered a single well maybe not a single one but it was like they were really fucking avoiding the question they were just going back to the but i kind of get that it's like if someone's besides you's like talking shit about you and then they ask you what do you think of child care you're just like no i'm gonna respond to this guy what he just said would they like consider lies about me yeah that's that is what it is it's uh i i think it's it is a bad state of affairs when you have two you were flipping out jj was like pacing around the room being like this is

not good it was not good i was surprised i had these grandiose expectations that it was going to be some epic debate because i nobody said it would you thought that it was going to be some epic debate because nobody said it would have been. You thought something crazy was going to happen, maybe. Maybe it was a little bit more. Trump definitely put it in reserves. Maybe that was. You're right, though. There is also a chance that Biden just legitimately

freezes up. It could have easily been something where you're watching that debate and he just legitimately freezes and doesn't know what to say. And like people have to come rush him off stage. So I don't know if this is because who I follow on Twitter. I went on briefly, but it does seem like a lot of the accounts that I were following putting up big L's for Biden.

Yes. He looked terrible. Yes. That's all right. That's a no question. Aren't you curious, though? I don't think there's any question that like Biden looked brutal in that debate debate so what if you're in the ecosystem of people who are like very leftist what do you think they're saying right now i think they're saying i think they'd vote for uh him just

because they hate trump so much but how do they say i think a lot of i think stupid like what's the what's the criticism yeah what's the consensus on the people who like i would say that the criticism would be probably like this guy won't take accountability for anything right like when they ask him about the gen 6 when they ask him about the election he's like he still wouldn't say no he they go would you uh accept the results of the election he goes if it's a free and fair election i think that those will have to be the points that they go look this guy won't take accountability i think that that's what they say, probably. And I think if you were watching it as a Biden fan, and you really don't like Trump, you're just like, this guy seems like a meaner person,

and Biden kind of seems like an old grandfather, which maybe you're like, as a person, I just like him better. But yeah, I don't see how you could be like... Okay, so if you remove Trump, and you just go, it was Biden versus anyone else, if there was 40 people there, he wouldn't make it to 38. Like, if you're, like, two people getting eliminated today and Trump was out of the equation completely.

Survivor. Survivor or president. He was one of 40 politicians. I can't imagine him making it to 38. If it's survivor president, you have to vote someone off the island after the first episode. He's gone real soon. Biden's gone first. Even if you don't like trump exactly biden's like you're looking at biden biden was like dennis rodman of celebrity apprentice you and dennis rodman kept on going

and people were like this guy's an idiot what the fuck's going on and then eventually like everyone's always saying like dennis is a moron dennis is not doing work tom green got voted out before dennis rodman yeah and people are like but why is dennis still here and he because trump liked dennis and trump would go but that's like the same thing if like biden was on it he's like he might sneak sneak past the first week but this guy's going i can't imagine him making it he's not making it the top half i'm fucking sure really bad so there was that the uh the the tax part i feel like it's interesting when every people talk about this because like trump will be basically say the he keeps saying oh he won't tax people and he lowers taxes and then trump has a pretty good point and

it was like yes because we but we raised more money with the lower taxes, which is the actual argument. You're just like, and it kind of he like, I feel like they won't engage with that point where you're like, it, if raising more, if raising taxes always brings you more revenue, then why don't you just raise it to 100%? And it was like, the answer is, obviously, there's an amount where you're going to get less half-starving if you take 100% of the profits. Okay, well, is 99 the number? He's like, well, at what point do you start kneecapping the companies? And the answer is like around, you know, 50 for people, and then I don't know what it is for companies, but if you got more revenue, then he's right, yeah. Well, the Biden answer was like, he was like, we do

6%, and then we do a 1%. Like, it was very confusing. I don't know what the fuck he was saying. We had 172,000, and then at 400,000, and then the do a one percent like it was very i don't know what the fuck he said we had 172 000 and then at 400 000 and then the one percent i was i was pretty confused to be honest with you there was a bunch of stuff where you like what did you just even say yeah it's i think that if you were to criticize both of them on that you'd say biden you're like i don't even i don't think you'd even know what you say and then trump Trump, sometimes you're like, you just keep saying words, but you already said your point. Yeah.

I also feel... He just kept going back to like, where's president, this guy, no border. Yeah, I also feel like, I don't know why the presidents don't ever say this. Is this like the kind of the Wizard of Oz where it's like, you know, there's someone behind the curtain,

like someone behind them. It's like when they ask about taxes, why didn't they say, I'm going to have the best tax, like, I would say, the person who I'm appointing to my cabinet is going to be XX, because isn't that who makes the decisions? You're right, though. Why? They sort of should say that. Yeah, why not? Like, they kind of have to take credit for the whole thing themselves, whereas they should be like, you know, I got this guy, he's better better he appoints the worst people i it should be literally why an argument of who appoints who yeah why didn't he say like well that's what he said a bit he goes he this guy never fires anyone he lets them lifetime bureaucrats he lets people just be there forever

but that's what i mean like why not specifics is like who's that chick the trans chick who's the uh leader uh the biden's leader of the uh the health or whatever all right there's two of them he's got a couple trans chicks in the but one of them's like i thought a military yeah i think that's the yeah he's got the military one the health one i would be literally with like i would be with receipts like what the fuck's this bitch doing hiring yeah yeah why not specifics though that's kind of what i felt it was lacking i think the reason for that kind of it's like that debate format it is this weird thing where it's like even like youtube debaters now they're always like on their computers like being like okay i just checked that you're wrong

yeah you're what in this format it is sort of like you can just say whatever you want and it's like if you're biden like the cnn's like not to be like, here's a list of things he was wrong. They're just going to say he's right. So it's like, he kind of just can say anything. It really was. It really is like that. It's just, it'd be like,

I raised a billion trillion dollars last year. Right. You know what I mean? You could, but that's what it was. It was literally, just say whatever you want. It was literally this.

My border was safer than your border. No, no, no, no. My border was safer than your border no no no no my border was safer than your border yeah and obviously it's like for people you're like well i have eyes so i know which borders less people but that's why i felt was lacking where i felt when the two something there was something special about 2016 when the debates even from like uh hillary bernie sanders um big year for debates yeah Big year for debates.

You thought there was going to be some of the more magic from Austin Powers 1. You got Austin Powers 3. Definitely a lot of magic lost. There was a bunch of those where you thought you were getting Rocky and his prime running up the steps. You got Rocky promoting the Sprite can and the Rocky 7. I remember 2016. You got the Rocky where it's his nephew. 2016 Republican they they had

eight guys up there it was phenomenal those were pretty funny yeah there's the best firework show you'll ever see uh the russia ukraine he had a pretty funny one where he basically said that uh he goes every time zielinski comes over here he leaves with 60 billion dollars that was great he's the best salesman in the world. That was fucking great. Yeah, I guess what happens is the truth is this, is that most people want it in a two-minute recap, and they're going to do zingers of the two minutes, and that's how you really like.

I have a hard time thinking that anyone that was undecided is watching that debate and being like, yeah, I'm a Biden guy now. Very different. I think most of those people at Trump would just have to be like so annoying that they're just like, I just can't do that again. They just hate him. Like they have to have a hate dislike for him like Robert De Niro. Yeah, and I think some of that's worn off for some of the people that are like normal and the spell's worn off. So if you were a person watching that that was like somewhat undecided you could not i can't imagine anyone

being like i'd vote biden i think you would yeah i think you would just have to watch that and trump was just like such a loose cannon that you're just like do i really want to see that loose cannon for four years the other funny thing was when he said uh when they're talking about crooked he's like your son oh yeah that was that was almost like a guarantee that was going to happen you're going to be they were going to say oh you're a convicted felon he's like your son oh yeah that was that was almost like a guarantee that was gonna happen you're gonna be they were gonna say oh you're a convicted felon he's like your son's a convicted felon that was pretty good that was yeah it's funny watching a bunch of politicians be like uh you should be in jail you should be in jail you should be in jail well whether the other thing that i'm like whoa whoa why are we debating where he's like you had sex with a porn star he's

like i didn't have sex with a porn star. I didn't get that. I thought that, I didn't realize that he was saying that never happened. I thought that he kind of said it did happen. I also. What did he pay her off for if it didn't happen? What's the, what's his argument? I don't know.

I also don't think it's bad. You were just like, ah, that was cooler when you did. Yeah. But yeah, the, Russia-Ukraine was that. Border, he talked to me, he's like, the Border Patrol endorsed me. Oh, that's what I wanted to mention. He goes, migrant crime? He goes, I call it Biden

migrant crime. That wasn't, I thought that wasn't the banger that he thought it was. No, it wasn't a banger, but still funny. That was a funny moment, but that one didn't hit. No, it wasn't. He thought he was going to give the crime, migrant crime, I call it Biden migrant crime. Yeah, it seemed like he wasn't.

That was you with your new kids on the block joke. Yeah, he didn't seem like he was on top of it in terms of the quickness. I thought, honestly, Trump was kind of fine. I think he could have done worse. I think if you watched his performance, you're like, he could have done worse. I think if you watched his performance, you're like, he could have done worse. I think that maybe he could have appeared

maybe a little nicer since you already kind of... Just because the people that are swing people, that's what you're sort of trying to appeal them on. They don't want this divide of a country. Yeah, Biden kept calling him a whiner. That was his big diss drop that he thought yeah and then um the climate part was funny because that was like classic uh that was a bit of old school trump when he asked about the climate he goes we got the best water we have the best air to oh he said best h2o best air that was great undermine administration

the h2o was the best the best the best h2o best the best h2o is great yeah so overall uh i think that everyone it seems like most people on the internet are kind of like biden's a laughing stock like look at just posting memes of how funny he is and stuff like that i do think though it is a scary thought to think if biden becomes president that probably the most incapable government official is next in line it's a guarantee yeah it's not probably it's almost 100 i think but that's the plan obviously but no but that she's like probably legitimately one of the most incapable uh government officials not just reminds me a lot of someone i know and they're very incapable person really yeah definitely no i'm just not

gonna say who it is but but there's a person in my life that i actually reminds you reminds me so much of scary right because he wouldn't hire for i'll tell you what you wouldn't want to hire to be the janitor here yeah so i think that that i bet you if you were like working for the democrat party or something like that you'd be kind of watching that being like, God damn, we should have switched out earlier. Do you think it's going to be? I don't know.

I think he wouldn't let them. It was just like, he's like, no, I'm going in. Do you think it's going to be a massive, I mean, from all things going into this, everyone thinks, everyone who I, like even watching all in podcasts, they're like, you're most likely going to be president like they were taught all of them agree to trump yeah to trump do you think it's

gonna be a fucking shellacking possibly yeah you never know you never know and I think there's another one but it's I mean it definitely seems like it's that was a shellacking at least to some degree but even the way the people are going to vote. They said because when they're going back they go you're the worst president. You're the worst president.

You're the worst president. And then they go he goes I'm on the only reason I'm even here trying to be president is because you're so bad.

And the guy goes I was only here because you're so bad. Is that grumpy old man. Grumpy old man. It really is. Grumpy old man too

is the sequel. What was the name Matt who did it? Walter Matthau. Yeah Jack Lemon. It literally is that worst worst president no you're the worst president no you're bored as well you're just bored as well someone i'm only here because of you i thought actually you were i would only hear because of you someone posted the simpsons article old man yells at older man or old man yells at old man it's really get off my lawn it's so funny i was a shit show to watch it is a shit show show. But yeah, it really was boring.

And especially since they weren't answering questions, they're just saying the same thing over and over again. You're like, after the first half hour, I don't think either of them said a new thing. No, nothing. They had three points. That should have been 40 minutes. An hour and a half, you're just like.

It is curious. I do wonder with all the turmoil of what's going on right now with all the different wars. Honestly, if China ever... They always say that what will push us over the edge is if China invades Taiwan. Because Taiwan's part of NATO, right? Yeah. Yeah.

And so... I don't know. But with everything that's going on, if China ever does invade Taiwan, it does seem like... A third one? It seems like we're very close. There's like, yeah, I mean, the actual point was like Biden just kind of kept saying like, it's actually going to be worse if Trump, and you're like, it's pretty bad. Like, it's quite the mess you've created.

They also said that too, in 2016 for 2020, they said right before 2016, if Trump becomes president, it's going to be terrible with Russia. It's going to be terrible with China. And in fact, it wasn't terrible with either of them. Yeah, that's why he has pretty good points on the war front. Yeah. In fact, I was even watching last week the video of Trump going into North Korea. And he says this, and it's kind of true it's like every other president of the united states wouldn't go to north korea isn't that a bad thing and you're like yeah why wouldn't you have a relationship

with one of your biggest enemies no i guess they're just like they're so bad we should just ignore them until they start doing nukes or something and we can go to war you have six well there's a lot of people in that government that can't wait to go to war right so they're just like no you don, we don't want you to cool it down. Which is the craziest thing because they actually believe in their world that they're protected. Who?

Politicians? I think they think they're safe. They kind of are. If nukes happen? Yeah, I think so. They have bunkers and stuff? American soil, politicians. Do you think do you really want

to, like think of you. Me and you, right? We're two last comedians left. We have the bunker. Would you want to be living in this world where everyone else is annihilated? Except for the politicians that want to No, but except for like a handful

of people who survived it will be chaos i rogan always talks about it uh post nukes this world will be chaos yeah i'm not gonna be good for me yeah not good for me either not good for you johnny trying to whittle a fire to go yeah no thank you big big i'm in big trouble i actually thought for a second i won my power went out oh no not even my power went out i ordered an uber eats a couple months ago and the guy didn't come so i had no dinner and i'm like i'm not prepared so i went out and bought like six cans of stuff i can picture you being like i have a bunker and there's just like enough food in there for six days because

you just couldn't do it right yeah i'm fucked i'm fucked well i think that uh yeah that was in general that was crappy but what won't be crappy is the episode that we have planned today but this was breaking news there's no way we're going to drop an episode on friday the after the big debate that everyone's gonna be talking about so that's why we stayed here all day so we could give the commentary serious political commentary serious political commentary maybe political commentary that you'll not get from anywhere else and now we bring you the episode with justin silver fellas i gotta tell you about merrick health it's time to find out exactly what's wrong with you you do your blood work find out if there's anything missing you

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Justin Silver here, back from Danny's Hawaii wedding. You know what the actual, by the way, interesting point about Danny is, because you know how you two are both pretty Jew-y? Whoa. And Danny seems like he's Jewish. He's Russian. Like, all of the things that you think about Dannyy's jewish his parents are immigrants right so there was a lot of russians there no this no because no one came because it's so far away i'll tell you who didn't come this guy

yeah i don't remember getting an invite i don't remember if i did i owe him an apology or i'm angry at him he said no one would come. Even like everyone basically. I wouldn't, but especially not his girl. Dude, he's the type of guy that, you know, he would have just been like married and he would just introduce his girlfriend and be like, oh, you know my wife. And you go, you got married? He goes, yeah. He's too chill. That's why he doesn't seem Jewish.

He's like, that's the Russian part. But I didn't realize. I've always, everything about him I thought was Jewish. And then when you finally meet his parents, you're like, well, I've met them before, but like actually spent time with them. They talk like this yes they're dan is not jewish he's an immigrant like all of this stuff even his parents like they have a they own like a property or whatever and i was like oh jewish landlords kind of thing it's like no they own a property the way that like people who immigrate to this country like with the like with the the top of it that's

red in a shape like this yes like r Like Russian shit. It looks like a bishop. Honestly, and by the way, his parents are both really slim. Really? His mom was making a fat joke. She goes, you know Danny, when he's eating, he's happy. She's going in on him, right? Yeah, they go hard in the paint. They don't like flattery.

No, they're not about any of that stuff. They look very serious for you. Is that the first time you met them? No, we've met them before. I've never met them. You have, actually. They came't like... No, they're not about any of that stuff. They look very serious for you. Is that the first time you met them? No, we've met them before. I've never met them. You have, actually. They came to a couple shows. You know what's so funny is that... He didn't wear the hat or anything. I never wear the yarmulke.

I'm Jewish. I never wear the yarmulke at any sort of wedding. I never wear it at a funeral. I don't even like the headphones on my hair. I'm very hairy. Oh, that's why? I just hate the fucking culture. I don't like the culture either, which is, I never wear it at a funeral. Refuse it. I'm like two. I don't even like the headphones on my hair. Yeah, they didn't make it more than that. I'm very hairy. Oh, that's why? I just hate the fucking culture. I don't like the culture either, which is why I never date Jewish women.

I do rep it like hard because I'm like, I'm very Jew-y. You are, yeah. I've never even made out with a Jewish chick in my life. Really? Yeah, no hot Jewish chicks, you know what, DM me still, but like never have. There was a couple fucking around at this thing. Never have. So did you want to tell why Danny couldn't make it because of the weight restrictions

on the flight back? That's what happened. Yeah, they go, listen, is there two of you? Can we put you on opposite sides of the flight? And they go, it's just me. We were eating there.

Dude, I ate so much food at this wedding, I left looking like him. Really? Was it amazing food? Pretty good food. You became Polynesian, you ate that much?

They did. So everyone in the family is like really skinny and they're like going hard On him yeah yeah yeah and then I did I did this I did the speech buried These people I actually made that joke to Danny Johnny Johnny

This speech make my Little boy fat they forced me But yeah they did force you Yes you did do the speech yes Okay I did do a speech and then then I walked up to Danny right after. I go, follow that. Heartfelt or funny? Heartfelt or funny?

Funny. Or sort of both? Probably 90-10. 90-10 funny? Yeah, yeah, more funny. I went jokes. I had a couple pretty good ones. I said, because the thing was like 800 bucks, and then they got like a group rate that was

750, and I was like, this entire room full of Jews, and nobody could get a better deal like i had a couple of things you go do any crowd work let me end this here huh someone didn't have a white wedding huh i was thinking about funny for the speech just do crowd work all right for my speech you know'm going to do some crowd work. Uncle Ernest! No, not even that. Just basic crowd work.

What do you do for a living? Oh my God, that would have been so fucking funny. That's great. That would have been literally so funny. Him. I did a couple of dad jokes about Danny. I go, Danny's the only guy that works out seven days a week

and he's still kind of fat and then i go what's he doing there eating the machines oh people are dying it's pretty fun eating the machines is great and all this making me laugh about the like crowd work in general just if you think about one of the obviously comedians don't really like crowd work but like the the thing that was making me laugh is you go there's people that have favorite comedians they can't name one of their jokes yeah i don't know there's like one point i was just thinking it was like people are like that's my favorite comedian you go and then you go name a joke and they go i don't i don't know

any jokes i just know him like asking people what they do for a living right oh that's my favorite comedian you go and then you go name a joke and they go i don't i don't know any jokes i just know him like asking people what they do for a living right because that's right because that tends to be a lot of shit that we post so you don't like burn straight out yeah i don't know if we ever said this you don't know this the first time i met danny's wife i made her cry within five minutes okay i don't know if that's public oh sorry wow you're a lot heavier than Danny mentioned. Legitimately. You made Heather cry? Within five minutes of talking to JJ, she started crying. I thought this was a roast. I thought this was a bachelor party roast.

That's the thing, though. I knew how to tread the line. I was on there. The other people know. JJ, legitimately the people that went before him, he was legitimately like, you know, 80-year-old guy like reading off a piece of paper. And like no one can even really hear him. Wedding speeches suck. And I'm coming on and I'm like, all right.

I was like. Actually, Ryan hired me to help write it. We were doing a writing session. Did you really? No. What do you think? No. What do you think?

I love that you made her cry. Subtlety is not your thing. I'll tell you, I wish I could have done the speech. I was like, hey, remember when I made you cry? You would have made her cry again, dude, if you were there. That's great. In general, yeah, super fun. I love them, though.

No, Danny was very Russian at the thing, which now I know that he's a Russian. I'm only sure he's a Russian. He was very like... Did he change his accent? I'm sure on the podcast we'll talk about him more when he's back in like a week or whatever a little bit but no he was very like with the speeches uh is there any more speeches all right can we just get this moving let's get the cake going oh irritable irritable well just more like it was very like nonchalant to him he's like that about every like how he is about everything wouldn't

you want it like that though if you're getting're getting married? I want it quick. Let's just fucking hang out. I wouldn't have maybe had the balls to do that. Oh, right. Like, just to be like, he's basically telling the rabbi or whatever, like, all right, pal. Oh, they brought in a rabbi? They had a rabbi?

I think a rabbi does the wedding, but he's... They did the glass... One thing, they did the glass smashing thing. They did the glass. I'll tell you one thing. Okay, well, as soon as I got there, apparently the big joke was about me that they

were all saying is that like oh when am i gonna smash a glass or whatever because i always knock stuff over right i thought it was that you're not circumcised and then i and then i got there immediately and then i fucking the minute i got there i gave heather a hug and then knocked over a drink really probably within one second and it was kind of a whole scene and then if you were having a laugh at my expense and then the you're a klutz yes yes and then when the when the wedding started the rabbi he was like you know the reason we do this glass smashing thing is because a lot of times people smash glasses and it's you know people will say it's a big deal but actually it's a good thing and it should bring you joy and that's why we say mazel tov yeah i was going hard i don't think that's in the torah at all that's apparently that's why we do it that really you think this guy

was winging it i think i mean like hawaii rabbi might have just been i think a hawaii let me tell you a rabbi in hawaii is not he's not like you know an a-lister i don't think you know what i mean because you don't have florida first then new york and then like if you're fucking like Florida first, then New York If they draft you in Hawaii as a Jew Is there a big Jewish community in Hawaii? I don't know, probably not It's pretty expensive so maybe there's some of them there Real estate

There's a lot of fat Samoans though Half and half I went to a zip lining thing The guy was a caricature of a human being He shows up and he's like What's up, you, I went to a zip-lining thing. The guy was a caricature of a human being. Shows up, he's like, what's up? You guys ready to zip? White guy? Yes, out of a movie.

And he was doing like, they had like a comedy routine down, right? We did a luau thing, which me and Johnny was there. We did the luau, which was sumo all over again, because we went to the sumo thing with JJ and we got scammed. We actually mentioned it last week. Scammed. so everything that basically is made by like some sort of minority and it's geared towards selling it to white people that is to scam you like basically that's their reparations like essentially uh like that's them re we're saying they're raping your ears and pillaging your wallet oh yeah because because most white people don't

have like style or class so they're so stupid they're rubes right so they see this and they're like let's do the safari he's a he he told me about rube when we went out for a fancy dinner one taking it's amusing tonight we went out for a fancy dinner once me him and danny he goes look at you rubes getting suckered it was like one of the best meals i've ever had well jj is a sucker for sure but he'll talk to the manager and get his money back but this was like a luau it was like 300 bucks a pop and then you go up the guy was literally standing there and he was he described for 20 minutes he described how coconuts work legitimately two weeks in a row you guys got scammed i was sumo all over

again dude the guys cracking a coconut and he was just like and sometimes they come down from the tree and then you take the milk and then you know sometimes you crack it open and then it's all if everyone everyone's like oh a coconut bra out of these i have a question you were in hawaii at a luau jewish situation no pork no it No, it wasn't Jewish like that. But pork. I'm telling you, the Russian influence was strong. Russians don't care. Just whatever normal things. I don't think it had... Did they do a big pig at the wedding and not Danny?

Yeah, obviously. He was the groom. Danny, they put Danny on the spit roast. Came out with an apple in his mouth. Did you wear a suit? Obviously, yeah. I don't know. It looked like everyone was wearing the Hawaiian shirt thing. Not at the actual thing. There's a lot of events.

Me and Danny went golfing. You met my guy Bill? And Johnny what? Bill, Big Bill. Oh, Bill's the man, yeah. He's the man. The Coke guy. No?

Sounds like that was something you would do in Hawaii. A lot of partying though hey it was great yeah yeah fun and then but i came back and then well we saw this on the thing and justin you're an actual like new yorker new yorker that's like at first and 14th like right outside my old house but still kind of near my house like a proper stabbing yes it's like people always talking about new york kind of shit it was like this was that area i've been talking on this podcast about how it's like the craziest area in new york and then there was it was such a crazy stabbing that there was like blood caked all over the sidewalk when i was

a kid my dad my mom lived in queens my dad lived on 14th street and third avenue right i remember and this is like 80s right like i'm like 76 i'm born and i remember like 14th Street and 3rd Avenue. I remember, and this is like 80s, right? Like I'm like 76, I'm born. And I remember like 14th Street always, but like the Lower East Side was like always like, it was like disgusting and heroin, right? And then, yeah, definitely. Like the Lower East Side and then down.

But like 14th Street was like, it was like a fucking wards. I remember like my dad, I was coming to the city. And when you lived in that apartment, I was just like, dude, dude this is like there's like all the remnants of it have not changed like all the guys selling the clothes outside like this is like 14th street his legend it's like it's like a zombie land it's always it's always been like it's always been like the walking dead always and apparently i was like looking at uh what the politicians in new york were saying about it and

some of the ones that were actually trying to stabbing up well the poor teacher apparently like one of the things that they're saying i mean obviously it started started to get bad into like defund the police area where the police were just like yeah go set up your camps we won't do anything right yeah the police were just like and then people would like call the cops and they'd be like go i thought you didn't want us like yeah so they just stopped doing anything right but it was the markets apparently they were like one of the things that is they they were, because they need to, they were sort of saying, we need to crack down on like people doing these like unlicensed vendors. That's the word I was looking for.

Sure. So basically what happens is these guys start selling on the sidewalk and normally they kind of shut it down. But then people say like, oh, that's mean to shut it down. You can't shut it down. But when they start these vendors, then it grows. And then lo and behold, every day, there's like a- It turns to Calcutta.

That's basically what it is. It's like the fucking Silk Road. Yeah. yeah dude between that and the bicycles in this i'm like what the fuck i biked over here i'm like what you once you hit the 30s you're like this is like an insane asylum well because once you hit the 30s that's where all the migrant hotels are is that what it is yes they're well they're right down the street from here roosevelt right is that what happened yeah there's thousands jj show everybody how you draw that swastika. There's thousands. There's 40,000 migrants in New York. They have numbers from 1 to 40,000, and they just wait around all day.

I've never actually seen it in my life. I've seen it. I've watched the documentaries. It's insane. Maybe I'm not bobbing around that much, but I'm telling you, this area outside my old place was mayhem, and it hasn't gotten worse either. I drove by it, and there's blood. There's legitimately blood on the streets.

Crazy person. Not like a- They rained blood upon the streets. Yeah, it's- It's pretty badass. Not like a stabbing, like, this guy owed me money. Like, crazy person just like- Crazy person stabbing. yes. Crazy person with a

shank type of shit. With a machete. Yeah. With a machete? Yes. I did not know that part. I don't know if that was the weapon, but the way the blood is, I saw the images. It's disgusting. It's crazy. And also, when you leave the cellar, because you're always Ubering, do you ever go up on 6th? Sure, but I hate it over there for this reason.

Yes, for that reason, I don't go up there anymore. When you turn the corner from out of the cellar going up onto sixth street there's like an area outside of the subway there's like guys just selling like legit smack yeah that's been never going on forever but dude it's like rough this is like how is it how how rough how's the smack oh i don't know i don't do hard drugs you didn't try no i like weed anyways it's a shit show over here that's the moral but we actually were going to talk about this one thing after but it kind of reminded me i was on so when i was on the plane i was going to watch a one movie and then if you look at the things uh it was every second movie that the

plane was feeding me was like a gay sex line. No. Legitimately. What an airline. And then they had their own pride section and then this. But it was like, there's probably 10 movies available. And eight of them, there was like two guys fucking like smooching on the cover. That's okay. Bye. Good bodies.

Good bodies. They were pushing. Yeah, that's pretty funny. You know what? You know how much money you said that? Because I was just like, this shit's too gay. And then I watched the bodybuilding documentary, which is just guys. Oh, I love the bodybuilding documentary which is oh i love them dude i watch so much bodybuilding if you look at my instagram feed i swear to god it's like do someone look at it they're like it's all it is is jack fucking dudes they're like i'm like i don't need fucking chicks in here infecting my day yeah you know i

mean i'm like i do actually know what you mean yeah like if there's a super hot chick at the gym i'm like this workout's to suck because I'm too distracted. And then I start going in my head. I'm like, why aren't I with her? Jack, dude, pumps you up. Someone's tired of fucking her. I would feel that way anyway. I just start going.

I start going. What's the epic documentary they redid about the bodybuilders? The biggest one. They did one in the- Pumping Iron? Pumping Iron. And then they did one with that guy with the crazy blue eyes. Generation Iron? Yeah, something like that.

And then the guy who just died a couple years ago. Oh heath with the blue that's the one i watched phil heath yeah which one six time mr olympia yeah no who's the guy who just died who was like massively rich piano rich piano you really know this he was taking all the synth all so like yeah you had this like people what was that documented generation iron so the guy who has generation iron like vlad something he's made like ten of these things. None of them are actually that good. If you're interested in that topic, it's like you learn a lot about that topic, but the

documentaries themselves don't have much of a fucking narrative at all. This one did. The whole thing was like, I mean, you're right. Is this like him versus Kai Greene? No, they sort of... Oh, that was good. They force a narrative, but the narrative was he had some stomach problem and he had to drop out for a year and then he was fighting back from that. Aw.

But there was no good movies? My point was they were really, really going hard on pushing the gay movies. So this was what we were arguing about. It's kind of weird, though, because you're on a plane and everyone can see the screen. And now you're fucking horny. And you look around, there's 19 guys watching gay gay sex like bro you want to go to the bathroom i would not want to be like a just a man sitting there on a plane like watching gay sex out in the open everyone just walking by the aisle uh sir uh coke that's

what they want a full plane of white guys Watching gay porno Always Normal sex scene It's strange though When you're on the plane And you're just like Sex It is You see a guy in front of you You're just like

Just glued to the screen That's what I was gonna ask Like can you get in trouble Like there's people Just fucking raw I'm hard Can they show tits on the plane On a movie

Yes they do They can And they'll give even warnings now They'll say Hey this is Or something like I feel like it's like. Yeah, but the problem is everyone can see your screen.

And everyone can hear you moaning. What's the plane where you can talk to the other passengers? Like, I think it's like on JetBlue where it's like, oh, no, a version. Stephen Hawking plane? If you have a friend who's sitting in another aisle, you can like message that person. That's kind of cool. Yeah. Are you watching this fucking movie right now?

Well, no. I wanted to ask you about the bodybuilding thing, though. Go ahead. Okay. So I've watched two or three of them, right? And the thing is, they have the guys on the stage. They all look exactly the same. That's what I was thinking.

Exactly the same. And then they go on the thing. They show the announcer, and then they go, he came out this year, and he was just miles above everyone. He destroyed them. It was like, it was no question. No one was even in his league and you're looking at them you're like there is zero difference yeah like the black guy's just darker it's like yeah it's you know what it is it's like i always think about that i'm like the you're like what are they better i get it's

it's like any sort of thing that like when you're at the upper echelon of things the differences are so fucking small but i'd like i i always notice that thing and it's like this guy symmetry they're looking with such a fucking magnifying glass at this shit it's like the slightest thing it's like he's flat they're just like oh because they're describing they go this guy wasn't even in his league and you're like they look literally identical yeah but the crazy thing about bodybuilding you're like this isn't really like a sport where you're like achieving this like you didn't get the goal in the end zone and like right a lot this is like your body's just shaped this way and here's your jeanette like it's it's it's like more of like a weird like kind of like

homoerotic art form than it is and it is it is it's like it's like and they're always like it's it's pretty wild like how like i've known i guess you could say it's like figure skating but it is again though if you watch things like that or ballet, it's like the person is better, the other person fell. There's actually, if you look at a guy like Kai Greene, he does these posing routines where it's like, the guy's like- Yes, the hair, right? Yeah, but he could do, the way he moves is almost like a mix between a break dancer and a ballerina.

That's what it should be. Right. His, the way he presents this thing, you're like, that's fucking awesome, but everybody else, I'm just like, the difference between this and that, I'm like, right his like the way he presents this thing you're like that's fucking awesome but everybody else i'm just like the difference between this and i'm like like they're like the peak of the bicep you're you killed him in the biceps i'm like i don't get like this is just like i can't i can't tell well and the reason is i'm calling phony on the whole thing i think that i think they're lying you think they're lying about what the judges when it was like the one they're like we unanimously scored like uh that phil heath was so much better than these people and it was like they must have just decided that

he wanted to win like there's no way that no i think they i think they legitimately like they they set these categories in these things then they got it down to a nazi it's such a niche fucking it's so nice that's why there's no money it's such a niche insular thing that it's sort of like all the money i think is like in like people's social media and then like repping products and basically be like yeah if you take this you're gonna look like me type of shit it's like that's where all the real money is in the sponsorship type of shit but i don't think it's like like that guy rich piano for example like he never even he never won anything and you're like sold stuff he sold a ton of shit like he did everything on his own social media on his own i just find it so interesting because

number one i like i like working out and i like freak of nature i'm like that's fucking insane i do like the books of nature i like it but like when i see you're like this is such a niche it's a weird world it's weird so the chick who i first started titty when i started banging women the first chick was a bodybuilder her name was you would be dating a bodybuilder she died a couple years ago of cancer. Rhonda Lee Quisardra. Fake tits or real? Huge fake tits.

And that's who I first titty fucked. I was like, for two years, I was really into the idea of titty fucking. Did she hold you up while you were doing it? No, I didn't. So you found a girl that most looked like a man. Yeah, mostly looked like a man. Great body, great tits.

Smart. Smart. Yeah. Smart. Smarter like a man. Yeah. And so I would titty fuck her and she didn't make enough but she was a professional bodybuilder but there was no money

there as little money as there is for men there's even less for women yeah a lot less oh yeah that yeah so who the hell wants to watch that did you see that documentary i think it's called like killer kathy about the chick who she. Insane documentary. So they basically like they do these things where it's like, you know, this is like these guys who like they want to cuck out. So they have these like they wrestle these women body. But yeah, they wrestle these women, but they put them on like it's like these business man or old dorks and like she'll like headlock them and like put her thighs around them and

like and they basically want to cuck. It's called it's called schmoing. There's a word. No, there's a word. It's called schmoing there's a word no there's a word it's called schmoing out it's guys who are like in you're schmo dude you're into like a guy is he getting choked or nothing no no it's guys who are like it's guys who like fucking like horn out on like muscle chicks no i so you can like pay him to like jerk off and like feel their bodies that's kind of hot it's hilarious schmowing out we used to have a category that is true you're a schmo dude you're a schmo it's such a great word it's such a great word for it i'm a schmo and if you're into like female body belly magazines or like you got

you got any they call like schmo literature they got really yeah you got any like you got any schmo material she ended up killing the guy right she came in killer sally is what it was yeah she came in with a shotgun or something and blew his brains out he was like beating the shit out of her though so there they were both great documentary can you imagine a couple male and female or two gay guys gay guys fuck the shit out of each other not i mean physically because when they're juiced to the gills yeah like those big jack gay dudes that's's a hilarious image. Yeah, and they just fight, but they also talk like they're feminine. Fellas, I got to take a break so I can tell you about Fit Bod.

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they would lose the accent. Then you know it's really fake because a lot of the gay guys, you're like, okay, you probably done stuff to like lower your tea to the point where you're like, I can see why you're so like talking a little lazy like that because you don't have any energy. But the guys that are like juiced up,

like, you know what I mean? Going to the gym five times a day. It's like, you're that accent for sure, fake. It's no way tell us jj there's no way i can see though if you get like feminine enough sure but culturally you're you're again it's you're doing it culturally it's like if you move around other people and you start picking up their accents you're just doing i say a when i hang out with you guys dude i, I was thinking about that because people always give black guys shit about code switching. I don't know if you saw

Will Smith recently. Oh, yeah? He's the ultimate of that. He's bilingual. But he'll be on like, well, he did a tour recently. Yes. He did a tour recently

and it's like you'll see him talking to white people and he'll be like, what's up? And then a black guy will be like, my brother, my brother. He turns it right on, right?

Code switching is such a great term. And I know guys who do that for sure. Rube, code switch it. We got a fucking vocabulary. People sort of give them shit about it, but you're like, I kind of get it because you're like, it's fun to do to put on the accent. Like I definitely, you don't see it as much with other things. Like when I go back to Canada, I'm not like, oh, there they are, boys. You don't turn far if you get drunk and you're up at

like if you're doing a cottage country festival yes and you're drunk of course there's gonna be a lot of fucking a's buddies yeah but you know but we have like friends like chris for example like dudes who are so new york they've been around black guys like their whole lives like i bet like i i switch when i'm like with all my black friends i switch out a little bit Do you turn a bit thug? I don't turn a thug But I definitely You hear my shit come out like this You have like a

I forget the word Ebonic? No like a something Low credit? A good alibi because you're from New York So a lot of people like that They go oh you're talking black You go no I'm talking New York New York. So a lot of people like that, they go, oh, you're talking black. You go, no, I'm talking New York.

New York is a thing. It is a twang. I can see why you'd want to turn it up when everyone's... Yeah, if I was at the cottage country with a bunch of country boys from small towns in Toronto, I'd be like, oh, buddy, he's getting ripped, eh?

So they get shit on it, but I kind of see it why you would people are going after will smith it's like no one's really going after him he's just the king of i'm just saying i notice it he's the king of people black guys get like shit on for code switching people said that movie was great too his new bad boys yeah that was i was maybe gonna see on the plane but it was too long really yeah i wasn't looking for a three-hour fucking thing. I thought you said you were going to rod-dog it. Obviously, I'm not rod-dogging. What I heard on that one...

I posted a photo that said I was going to go on the plane. Like, it was a trend. You said the rod-dogging? I said I was going to go on the plane, no headphones, no TV, no nothing. You just thought? You know, you just stare at the flight map for eight hours. Yeah, it's a trend right now.

Guys are talking about... It's like if you do have the balls to stare at the flight map for the full eight hours. Yeah, it's a trend right now. Guys are talking about... It's like if you do have the balls to stare at the flight map for the full eight hours. I've definitely had it against my will lots of times. I've had it against my will. It's a nightmare.

I end up putting my head on the desk trying to sleep. Oh, brutal. Yeah, I want to get a switch. I don't even play video games. Long flights, I get so irritable. I usually just think. You just think? I'm kind of

raw-dogging it in a weird way. Because a lot of times I think of stand-up. So, like, if you look at me, I'm just doing this. Like you're watching gay porn. But in my head, I'm just like, oh, that's kind of funny. I actually do write on the plane. Writing on the plane is good. Writing on the plane, it's because of the buzz

of the engine. So you have this, like, kind of binarial beat. I don't think the buzz of the engine. So you have this kind of binarial beat. I don't think the buzz of the engine is doing anything for me. Maybe it's not doing anything for me. I feel like, do you think a buzz helps? Well, you've seen my act. That's so dope. Okay, so the creator of Star Wars, on the topic of gay shows,

creator of Star Wars, they basically keep coming out and being like it's gayer and gayer, and they did it recently. Well, she went viral first a few years ago, right? Yes. People have been mad because they've been sort of wrecking the Star Wars franchise, but then creative Star Wars said, this one's the gayest ever. But it's funny because then they're sort of coming out and being like, they're getting, people are saying like, oh, you're trying're trying to like you're going so hard on the progressive stuff but then basically the creator goes no it's not that gay it's not it's

not actually like some super progressive show it just has lesbian space witches that's the best three words ever put together by the way i texted him i'm like this is a great i've never those three words put together one of us has to use that lesbian space witches and then so they basically created a world where it's like they're like and then she's like you'll obviously they're all going to be gay it's like there's only girls there well but so basically it's like well yeah but obviously you did it on purpose it's kind of like uh doing a you know a show where you're just like every girl is like a gold digger and you're like no no just you have to understand in this world everyone's gold digger so it is not my perspective it is funny now how especially us because maybe we're in the side of the arts how many women claim to be some kind of bisexual

or something yet they don't ever fucking eat muffin they don't do a lot of it they don't do a lot of it let me tell you something i think you're right i ain't that gay but i fucking do a lot of it that's what i say i whenever someone... I think you're pretty gay. Yeah, maybe. Well, you were arguing that I was more straight than gay. I know. In reality,

you know what? You've suckered me into talking about your sexuality again, which I don't love. There's an oldest trick in the book. No matter what you're

talking about, I can come back to JJ blowing a dude. Do you eat box, JJ? I actually only if it's like it has to be a sexy. Like I won't. Some guys will eat

like disgusting chick box. I don't think by choice, but go ahead. Yeah, but they still will. You have to be like an Adonis. An Adonis. Yeah, an Adonis chick and I know you're getting

some good dick from hot guys. How do you keep them off of you, buddy? Who, me? Come on, look at this. I think he's like the bisexual chick

where it's more part of his identity but he doesn't actually do too much of it because they're not really beating down his door. You know what I'm saying? No, not a lot.

So I think he's more like hypothetically gay. The dudes though? The dudes? Like he's gay. I don't know if he does something with the guys. I did bring some little

twink to a show last week. Some 21 year old. Allegedly. No, it was at Brooklyn. No, but you have to the thing he does though he brings these like he'll meet a guy and then bring him to the show and then like go for like brunch with them.

Ooh, great night. Okay. But if you were a guy that was like actually, okay, if you were smashing a ton on tour, would you be going to have brunch with them exclusively? And then you come back to the show and you're like, where are they? It's like, oh, we just did brunch. It was like, for what? Are you smashing?

He likes companionship. That's what I'm saying though. That's the gay part, but he's not, I don't know if he's actually banging it i'm curious about the witches like the lesbian girls that you're like yeah you're annoying but are you actually having sex with women yeah but do you but do you when you go on the road because you are very good looking do you just do you just fuck no like like rarely what do you do i haven't done that in like forever i've been like beyond asexual in the past like two years. I could give a shit.

I could like give a shit. So maybe you're a lesbian switch. I could give a shit. I just could like. You're a Star Wars character. I couldn't care. I do. I like my sex drive has got like it finally like went down.

I'm like, oh, there's like space to think now. This is great. It's a dream. It is the dream. It is the dream. It's so much better. I wish I could in the last couple years more and more

into like reading and doing stuff watching documentaries yeah get a little something done life is good learn to sell yeah

but yeah so what about these bitches well the show's obviously like a piece of shit and the Rotten Tomatoes is 85% my brother actually

mentioned me and he said the X-Men one they went hard to he said they put Gambit in a tube top he said that was enough for him which brother the straight one he says no the X-Men one they went hard to. He said they put Gambit in a tube top. He said that was enough for him.

Which brother? The straight one. He says, yeah, straight one. He goes, Evan. They don't even normally know. He goes, I don't notice this stuff. But he's like, I finally saw one where I was just like, what the fuck? Could you imagine if your gay brother said, it's enough?

It's enough. Well, I told you, FBI. I actually, this is what I thought about all this stuff. I was sort of, because I watch the show FBI. And I was actually giving a pretty hard recommendation on it I was saying it was good and they do all this stuff pretty good and then I then but I started at like 2014-15 and I didn't realize 2020s every show you're watching gets insane so it's like Hondo is like the main guy and he was like kind of like you know the best way to like start to have better race relations is to like be in the communities he's saying like normal stuff like that and then like it switches to like 2020 21 they have him getting pulled over by another cop

because he's black and he comes over and he trashes hotel room and he goes when will racism stop and it was like he was reading look at the camera and wink it's like that and i think and then i look when it happened you're like it was the week after george and wink? It's like that on the show. And then I look when it happened. You're like, it was the week after George Floyd died. It's like every show just fired the whole cast, brought in a bunch of bisexuals. And then they have another thing. They have a main plot line. The girl's in a polyamorous relationship.

She's dating a full-ass couple. And you're just like, all of the things are just ridiculous. And you look at the year, and you're like, yeah, it was the week after George Floyd. You've got to skip those years of TV shows. So that's what's the opposite. I just started watching Fargo season five, the first episode. Amazing.

And there's a scene where the daughter's wearing like a tie and the mother, the rich mother, just like is like disgusted from the daughter wearing the tie. The grandmother's like, you idiot progressives. And it's like, oh, this is good. They're going that way. Yeah, yeah. I'll tell you the other one. Dave Rubin has a new cartoon.

You don't want to watch that he did i literally want it was on twitter i watched this thing i literally was about to donate to biden i saw this thing i got but to send a thousand bucks to joe biden after seeing you might you might have said it first they had a couple years of larry elder as a voice you know yeah always a bucket of laughs they had a couple years where they were Larry Elder as a voice. Yeah, always a bucket of laughs. They had a couple years where they were hidden under Trump where they were cool and then now they're exposed. You thought David Rubin was cool?

That's how you saw it? There was like a year where he was like in the mix of like, yo, and then he just leans they're all a branch of, what's the Jew? Shapiro. Ben Shapiro. They're all eye-rolling losers. I mean, this would be like if Nancy Pelosi had a comedy show. Yeah, what's the Jew? Shapiro. Ben Shapiro. They're all eye-rolling losers. I mean, this would be like if Nancy Pelosi

had a comedy show. Yeah, parents. Parents, could you imagine if your parents came out with a show? That's what they'd do now. Did you see that girls have to sign up for the draft now? Have to? That's what it says. What do you mean, have to? For the draft?

Girls couldn't get drafted, and now they have this new bill. I don't know if it's going to go through, but it's looking like it says. What do you mean, have to? For the war, the draft. The girls couldn't get drafted. Right. And now they have this new bill. I don't know if it's going to go through, but it's looking like it will. And basically, women are going to have to sign up for the draft if there's a war. But they actually did it. You guys wanted it. Yes, well, exactly.

Here you go. Oh, my God. People would be laughing at our eyes. Also, they had another one in Israel. The Orthodox Jews had their scam where they didn't have to do it because they were too religious. And then their scam's getting shut down, too, and they're going to have to join the IDF now. Yeah, yeah.

A lot of people's scams of not having to go to war is running out. Who would win in a war? So, Ukraine's conscripting men with Down syndrome or America with women? Well, here's the thing. They're going to use them to, like, if they think there's a minefield, they're going to be like, no, go walk that way. Women are Down syndrome. The way they used to do With dogs

Or both That's what they do They used to send the war dogs Out to see if they Get blown up first So they're doing that With the downies Or the women

Downies is nuts You weren't going to Invent anything No That's rough though If you were in Like the opposing team And you just saw

Like a downs army Coming towards you That's trouble man But they do have the strength I think I honestly think i'd take my own pistol in my mouth i'd be like you know what like in mad max when they take the guys help me no he has the brain of a child you would think they're running at you like they got zombies oh speaking of tv shows i actually talked about this on the show. Because I watched the program. And the one thing that I was saying was, but Justin went to the school.

Yeah. I went to one of them. Which school? There's a bunch of them. Of what? There's this whole Netflix documentary. I'll just do a small little introduction of this thing. Oh, yeah.

Oh, you brought this up. I saw it in your story. Yeah, I was talking about it. Because everybody started DMing me, like, didn't you go to this school? And I was like, I didn't go to that one. Can you go recap it? Because I forget the whole thing.

Basically, they have a whole empire of these schools that they like are behavioral schools. There's like no evidence that they work. They basically tortured all the kids. All these people committed suicide and they're still going. I'm still here. They're like tapped into all this funding.

Are they still going? I didn't know that. Basically, a lot of them they convince, yes. A lot of people they convince the parents still going and they get here they're like tapped into the are they still going basically they can a lot of them they convince yes a lot of people they convince the parents that like your son needs to go to this behavioral school yeah and then you can get grants from the city to pay for it so like they've got the scam of the year and what then these girls made a documentary because uh in that school specifically basically the dudes of the school tried to do a jail break and stuff like that we got we broke out. I mean, I'll-

Where was it? New York? And then the girls made a documentary. So which one did you go to? I went to this one called the DeSisto School. You can look at this up. It got- The amount of illegal activity and child-

I went because I stopped going to school. I was just like, fuck this. I went to our school. So you were like a New York bad boy. Like a New York bad kid. Bad boy. And then they kind of- The way they sell it like you

know they do the classic thing where you're like here's the main dorm and it looks beautiful and it's in this mansion and they're like but that's not where you actually go you're doing manual labor non-stop they have this what kind of stuff like you're chopping wood you're like like just any kind of manual labor that the school needs but But like, there's, well, there's a huge contingent of like, pedophile teachers there. Oh, yeah. There's a huge contingent of that. Did anyone try to make a pass on you? Not on me, but like, plenty of friends of mine.

Did that bother you? That did bother me. But there's like, the thing they do, they have this punishment system. Where the way they do it is, like, when you're on this certain dorm, you're like, you're not allowed to space. I'll give you, like, three examples of this. You're not allowed to space, like, arm's distance from another three kids in your dorm at any time. So that's impossible. You can't be close, meaning?

No, you can't be far apart enough that you can't. I'd have to, I couldn't be far enough for you to. You'd have to be close enough. Close enough. So if you do that, they do something called handheld, which means now the whole dorm, let's say you're going up to the dining hall, like 14 boys are holding hands. Oh, weird. Then if someone breaks that, they call it amoeba, where you hold hands in a circle.

So imagine like now you're going to the dining hall. Then when you have to get up and go get your food, you have to go with like, you can't go by yourself. So three guys have to hold hands to go get the food come back hold hands again what 15 15 they had they would have things where i got caught sneaking out to like make out with my girlfriend i thought the girls were segre oh your new york girlfriend no no no my girlfriend at the school like they're it's co-ed okay so they had the one i watched wasn't so yeah that one's not this one was so they had this thing

where they could do they could there this place called, it would be your farms, which was basically this apartment on this, it used to be a farm where you would do manual labor on this farm, but there was no farm anymore. So all you do is chop wood. So for a month, me and her had to live in this apartment together with two dorm parents. You're not allowed to make eye contact. Wow. You're not allowed to talk to that person.

And you'd have to speak i'd be so we'd be cooking it'd be like can someone ask carrie to please pass me the spatter for a month you could be like if they think you're a runaway threat they would like robe you which means like you're wearing a robe 24 hours we ran away in robes like when we actually ran away why was the robe supposed to help with so like they're because it's in the berkshires so like you're not going to run away with milk uh in massachusetts oh so it's forced yeah yeah yeah that's what i watched they have them in utah they still have these things they're in utah in mine there's like you could get away there were no bars on the windows so this is interesting you see this tattoo it says otr there's a it says otr you see this so it means on the run or on the road because there's a every morning they have like otr there's a it says otr you see this so it means on the run or on the road because there's a every morning they have like faculty meetings there's a board that says otr

which means all the kids that are currently like on the road so we all ran away like there's like a level system so the way to like if you want to want to run away the way to do it it's like you gain enough trust where like there's a week where the kids run the school and then you get vacations and if you apply for the if you are if you are sort of like leveled up enough to get a vacation then you plan the runaway that you're basically just like trying to trying to like manipulate the system so like 30 of us ran away and like actually like last year we all got together so this was like this is crazy dude so we ran away. There was a, right at like the, after the summer, all the new kids come in, right? So we were like leveled up.

We were like at the highest level. So let's say it's like a tier system. It was like, there's words for it, but let's say you're like a level three, right? So then when the new kids come in and the teachers take vacations, a lot of the students run the school. So we ran away while we were running the school and then we come back and then like you're robed you're watched you're cornered which means you have to face a corner like pretty much except for meals you're silenced you have to sit in a

corner all day like just face the corner what did you didn't you tell your parents like so they the craziest thing about it is and this is how it sort of works, they have their manipulation system. You have to remember, when I went, this is like pre-cell phone. Yeah. So they read all your mail. They monitor your conversations. And your parents only send their kids to a place like this if they're like desperate. So the way that they convince your parents to do this is the parents of the students who are quote unquote doing well there,

like most of those students are doing exactly what i just said where they're just trying to game the system to you know what i mean they have parent meetings so whatever group you're in like there's the new york group there's the you know the la group so the parents all have like conversations and so many of those parents are brainwashed they're like you know when your kid wants to get out and tells you this is terrible just stay with it it's you know it's like It's almost like if someone did forced AA or something like that. But it's so fucking, it's so punitive. They don't believe you.

Well, how much do they pay for a student to go? 80 grand a year. And this is in 19, this is like, I'm 48. So you have to think of it like this, too. They're making a ton of money. So it's like army recruiters. So army recruiters are not actually like, they're not like, they're army guys, but they're considered some of the best sales guys. And same with like, so if you have the school that everyone's paying $80,000 a year, the people who are communicating with the parents are probably savants.

They'll like probably have this. You know what? It's not, it's not, they're all just so, they all like buy into this system. It's very, it's very, they're all just so, they all like buy into this system. It's very, very cultish. It was led by this like very effeminate dude who used to weigh like 300 pounds. Then he lost all this weight based on like OA, which is like Overeaters Anonymous. And then like, it's like this forced, almost like forced, a mix between like abusive 12-step program. It's hilarious forced, a mix between like abusive 12-step program. It's hilarious, dude.

But it's like, it was so fucking weird. And it gets so like, how fucking micro it gets in terms of the punishment systems. It's like, my friend Drew is a famous tattoo artist now. He ran away and he got like a little tattoo like on his like thumb here, right? Like that he did with like a needle and ink. They made him, they cut it out no they had yeah they had like one of the dorm parents like literally like get it they cut it out and sewed it up i actually here i have a when when everyone was asking me about that like when that documentary came out i said drew send me a picture of that

scar on your send me the picture of the scar on your arm and it's like on your hand it's like you can't you know so when you run run away, where would you go? Would you just saw like 30 people just kind of scary? Like scary. So because we had like, because we were on like the tier threes, all the new kids are now coming in. So we had run away on vacation and then we're in these like extreme punishments. But because these kids are like new, they've only been there for a few months.

They all have like a lot of respect for us. So it's very easy to be like, hey, I gonna go to the bathroom right now right and so i remember like it was like it was still summer and when it gets winter there it's very difficult to run away because it's like the snows there are fucking nowhere it's the middle of nowhere so there's a town it's right by uh tanglewood which is in like massachusetts right so basically like four of us like four of our best friends we ran into the woods and it's on this huge mountain and all we had to do is basically like if we hide out and like cover ourselves with leaves and find places that we can hide out for long enough they send like other kids out to get you the faculty's going out but like these are woods what about the

cops the no the cops don't really get involved with that because like they believe the school they don't believe the cops don't really listen this amount of illegal shit that they do there in terms of just like fire codes and like like so much of the shit they do like like work laws like kids working it's like the last thing they're beating everyone yeah they beat the shit the last thing they want is like police showing up so it's like that's the last thing it's the last thing they want so we basically like just they can't even sleep out in the woods that night and then snuck back in at like three in the morning grabbed the rolodex like went like walked 20 miles to the town pay phone like calling friends of ours who ran away car to pick us up and like the crazy thing about it is like when you run away the school has custody over you so they they instruct your parents like don't take

your kids back in now my mom i have like a codependent jewish mother so all i had to do is be away for two weeks i'm like you were able you were able i'm like here's the deal i'm like you're either going to take me back and withdraw me from the school and show me paperwork or you're just not going to see me and they're done so like i'm home but all my friends what if you went back and your mom then they picked you up again so the first time i ran away um i remember i told you how we went back and then we were in this punishment system and then like what i just told you so the first time we ran away was on vacation in new york and uh i they had uh they had my my mom's phone bugged they had my mom's they had like they had my mom's phone bugged. They had my mom's, they had phone bugs.

A wiretap. They had wire, and also my friend, they hired private detectives. And also my best friend Dove's phone. And I said, hey, listen, I'm going to, I need some money. He's like, all right, I'll give you like $500. So just meet me in like Washington Square Park. And it was like all of us went to Washington Square Park. And next thing you know, I'm getting like pummeled by these like the parents of the other kids.

Like I'm getting pummeled by these like dads. They threw us in a van. Citizen guards. Right. They threw us in a van and took us back, which is like the predecessor to what I just said, how we ran away the second time, which that's when we stayed out. But I had friends who like, you know, my mom like took me back in. I went like back to school because the thing is I didn't go to school. But school, like that's why I got sent there in the first place school was like a privilege you had to earn i don't remember there ever being school like none of we talked about

there was no school so you were there for like a whole two years two years you didn't do a single piece of nothing so i had to make up two years of school but the but what i was saying was like um like the like you're chopping wood for two years basically like chopping wood doing manual labor for two years nobody's ever gone back and like killed the teachers so no that's what these guys they've got attacked a bunch of time this is what i was saying so uh basically like when you when you run away the the the punishment system is so fucking intense so like kids want you want to get the fuck out of there so they instruct your parents not to talk to you so my friends were like sleeping on the subway like

17 year old kids like sleeping on the subway i would like my mom would try to house them and then like we get called by like their parents they're like we're gonna we're gonna sue you for aiding and abetting a runaway and they're like these are fucking 17 year old kids you're gonna let them like my best friend jesse who you know was like sleeping on the train every day yeah that's how i know jesse like still like some of my best friends like to like the guys and the girls like you when you but when you go through shit like that with people like you bond with them for life is it still in existence that place that place isn't like i think uh actually my friend amanda who when she ran away and got she became a social worker and like one of her main,

like, goals was, like, shut places like that down. It got shut down on, like, 47 counts of child abuse, which is, like, that would have been in a day. So, it's, like, these are just the ones they brought up at that time, but, like, when they think you're, like, a runaway, they would, like, there's, like, bunk beds in front of the doors, so think about, like, that. There's, like, everything they do is just, everything's just like rigged in the moment to solve a problem there's no like because the people that work there are like just prison guards they're not

actual teachers no no no they're not they're they're just people there there's no like people in the town that got a job right yeah people they had a thing where it's like kids used to like go crazy and like punch the windows out this is like a big thing it was like kids used to like go crazy and like punch the windows out. This is like a big thing. It was like one kid did it and then it was like a way to get attention. So we had these big plain glass windows in the front of the double plain glass, right? Like huge windows. And this one kid who we all hated his guts, like we used to torture him, but he used to like punch these windows and like with his arm down. So he like his arm almost had to get like amputated from how much damage he did

to this right so they came in one day and they're like we're gonna show you guys how to do something called limit structures which is basically like the other kids putting each other into like these four point restraints when someone would like freak out and you have to imagine like if someone does something like everything the whole dorm is accountable for anything anybody does so like if i when i snuck out to see my girlfriend they're like they find like well where's the negligence in everybody else and they would call it negligence where's the negligence of everybody else in this dorm where justin would north korea where justin would think it's okay to go and do that so then you have to like it's like a court like you have to like argue your negligence or not and like you're always going to fail.

So the whole dorm gets like punished. So you have to imagine when some kid does some shit where you have to like hold them down, like you want to beat the living shit. So we used to like break kids' toes and shit like that. Like that kid who used to punch the windows, he used to get us so fucked all the time to the point where like our punishment systems

were like, we're all robed. We're on this this thing called super cleanup which is basically from morning to night you're scrubbing and cleaning every aspect of this fucking school with toothbrushes so we like when he would freak out we had to hold him down we used to like just beat the living shit out of him like you have to like it's it's just such a it's such a weird like lord of the flies situation it was awful dude it was fucking awful by the way the lord of the Flies situation. It was awful, dude. It was fucking awful. By the way, the Lord of the Flies thing is actually not real. What do you mean? It's a book, right? Yeah, yeah. It was based off a real story.

Lord of the Flies. Yeah. It was based off a real story but the book was a lie. Like they actually came together and like helped each other out. There's a real story. Yeah, I'm sure it's like fantasy. But the thing that they said. Oh, the actual real story it's based off of goes differently. Yeah, well, it's like the people worked out to help each other.

But that's the very same thing in sports culture. When I was playing baseball, I had the hard ass who was my mentor. Man, we would all get fucked over. It gets tribal, dude. It gets fucking. Dude, some of these punishment systems were so fucking nuts. You're just like... I would wake up...

Did you have to do the humiliation rituals? And the thing they had all these weird humiliation rituals. They would call it humiliation. So there was a kid who, like we just said, would talk black. So they fucking tied a pork chop around his neck. And he'd have to go to everybody and be like, this be my pork chop. That's what he would have to say. Dude, some of the shit they do was so humiliating. he wouldn't stop talking black because that's just how he was he

was like just kind of like this like new york street kid who that he wasn't from new york he was from baltimore but that's like that was just how he was so they'd be like they tried to like break you down like just like in the program the way they did it was they had you like it was a little different they had like in that documentary they had this like specific program that you had to pass and what ours was not so much like that it was more like how much you can adhere to these restrictions but the restrictions get so absurd that it's like think about that first one i told you like the handheld thing i could give you 30 examples of things like that from like where your hair is in terms of your eyebrow ratio. And, like, they would, like, take a thought. Like, how many thumbs it would be.

It would be like, okay, now you have to shave your head. Like, there were so many, like, crazy restrictive things that there's no way that you could actually, like, adhere to all these things. Because they're all, like, made up as they're happening in the moment. Right. To, like, fuck you. Where do you think the overeater feminine guy is? Oh, he's dead. He's dead.

I remember when he died. Yeah, he died. But the guy guy ran the whole like the guy who's in charge of all the things you're right he basically stole like aa thing and then yeah and this other yeah kind of these like culty uh things they were like supposed to help people but never really did it wasn't a it was like it was no they basically they basically take like the whole like the the they basically just took the 12-step program and stuck it in like a fun mirror and just

made it like this thing that it's not it's like look i'm into like 12-step program but it was a money-making thing so they're just like yeah right this has nothing to do with that but that's sort of like if you look at like the roots of where this thing stemmed from it was like this very like almost nazi version of like sobriety where it's like you have to get honest with yourself and you're full of shit and come clean and it was like just very just like guilt-based sort of like it's it was almost like it was like a mix between like a cult of religion and aa and like a bunch of fucking people who were there to just like abuse a bunch of fucking kids and like yeah similar to any sort of dogmatic thing like that but when you're not being like when you're in the middle of nowhere

you're not being watched by anybody you could and like you're this crazy megalomaniac type of dude think about like and the implication he made his own world kids to start with yeah and no one really was like there was no one there was like it was just sort of like kids you have to have so much money to go there one guy in this thing said that he goes when they sent him to prison he goes prison was like a five-star resort yeah they. They were like, what was prison like? He goes, it was a five-star resort compared to this thing. There's kids who would do things to try to get, like, there was like a mental institution not far from there where if they think that, like, you're like a suicide risk, kids would

like fake that shit to get out of there to go to the other place all the time. Brutal. Because you're like, yeah, at least they least they follow like a legal system and there's professionals working as opposed to like you're just getting the shit beat out of you but like fucking hicks who live in this town and need a job he was a janitor you know he's here exactly a hundred percent it just it got so it would get so fucking weird but like running away from there was like i gotta tell you like i don't regret going because I'll tell you why. Because there was something about like, like at that young age, like bonding with these kids, like my friends at that age. And like the whole thing of like running away and like, wait a second, I'm going to like take my life into my own hands here.

And like, yeah, I'm willing to like get out of this thing, not go home to my mom if you don't want me back and just like own my life here like it's a fucking ballsy move to run away from that place and it takes a lot that's probably not that's only a small percentage yeah most people are probably fucked up um i don't think most like sure it's like uh yeah it's the same thing the sad thing the sad thing was like there were there was like there were kids there that had severe like mental disorders and problems like there was this one kid who was like catatonic and we thought like they would say like oh yeah he used to do so many drugs and he took a bunch of acid and so he fried his brain and that's not what happened like the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck at birth and so like he was operating like with not a functional brain And so his parents sent them there thinking,

like, this is a place that could help him. And it was like, it was awful for him. So he's basically retarded, and they just send him somewhere to get the shit kicked out of him for two years? Dude, yeah, man. He used to, yeah, yeah, basically that. But, I mean, the shit we used to do,

like, there were kids, Mike Brown, this really annoying, fat Jewish kid who used to brag, who used to wear a porsche 9-11 velour brown jumpsuit who used to brag about how his dad was like a plastic surgeon and it was like you know there's a community showers like in a gym and so he would sit on the drain and be like i'm making a bath and splash himself and we used to just like piss all over him from the back like the shit you the shit 15 year old boys do are fucking hilarious dude yeah you do hilarious shit so you were sort of like the town bully no i know because there's big dudes there i'm a small i'm a small guy so it was like but like

you know like hilarious like you know you could imagine like these are all funny kids but it's also too it is right because it's all the troublemakers yeah it's all the class clowns so it's like it shit would get like you would have good times but not because the school's providing good times this oh wait i gotta tell you this punishment this one's fucking crazy so there's something called a sitting where they found the word fuck scraped in like the paint on a heater so they're like who did this and they bring the whole school together like who did this and they're like no one's gonna admit to doing that no one knows who did it so they're like okay everything is called off and we're gonna do a

sitting which means the entire school sits in a circle in the dining hall like chairs just in a circle and we are going to sit until someone admits that so you wake up in the morning you go eat no one's allowed to talk to anybody you go take a seat and you sit there and days and days go by this went on for a month no and the month every day all day you just sit the you break to sleep you break it definitely raw dog a plan with that experience buddy let me tell you something the flip outside what happened the amount of chairs that kids threw through the windows motherfuckers just beat like because like you're also they're trying to like facilitate some sort of group therapy while it's going on right and it's all like it's so weird and bizarre and like so kids are just like you'll they flip the fuck out yeah

they'll beat it out of someone admit it you're just like it wasn't me who the fuck was it you know but it's not as aggressive as like that they're like you know like shit comes up it's like this is because of your father and blah blah blah it's like it gets so fucking bizarre and weird so this uh that's where it came i think during that sitting like uh one of the kids like broke down and he like admitted like that this teacher was like molesting him and the entire school just went bananas to beat the living shit out of this dude. And then they're like, you know, there's like the staff,

it's not even a staff, they're trying to pull him off and chairs are getting thrown. It would turn into a fucking asylum, dude. It just got fucking crazy. There's gotta be a couple people that you don't know of that are like out there right now

or in jail because of this, like just psychopaths. I don't know of that are like out there right now or in jail because of this like just psychopaths um i don't i mean the p there's some there was you listen just like anything you bring like a few hundred kids together there's like some weirdos in there a few of them like there's this one kid i'm pretty sure he's going to kill me like he he hates my guts and i'm yeah and i'm like you know he's like now he's like this like uh I don't want to say too much because I know he's gonna listen to this but he's like uh he's one of these like conspiracy theory type of weird dudes who was like this dude was just always off and he had like and I was one of the people he hated the most and in a way where he was like kind of puny

he was very easy to bully but he very much deserved it because he was the one who would get us like in the most trouble and i'm very public so like i'll see like on comments on posts on things i do and like the friend's joke is like oh you know beep is gonna fucking kill justin one day like it's probably gonna happen yeah interesting so you were sort of would you say that you were were middle of the pack in terms of toughness? I don't, I wouldn't say in terms of toughness. Like I wouldn't call myself particularly tough, but I was like, same as like in comedy. Like I'm very well liked.

You were sort of popular at the school. Yeah. Like I'm just very funny and like well liked. Like the way. And you were bullying this guy. No, no, no. This was like very. I wasn't necessarily a bully

but there are people who like it when when like the well-being and your day or your month is contingent on the behaviors of someone else and this person to get attention is intentionally fucking up and then the whole dorm is getting punished he wasn't like cracking the rocks hard enough buddy it was like yeah when you're like all right like you seek like it turns tribal like you're like we're gonna seek revenge on that like you know he would do some shit to get like attention and then you're like okay well now guess what now you guys like you're all cornered for like six you're all cornered for six days and you're like okay and then when he freaks out when he throws a fit about the fit that he got you into

and like it's your job to like hold him down I mean it just sounds like jail it's like you're on lockdown because of this guy exactly I always think about it like the people we've I've been brutal to like made fun of in comedy like you think some people could take it and then some people but that's all

but that's all motivated for you to try to be funny and yes that's all but so that's different but most people you're not you think you're not a vicious jj just treats everyone in his life like it's a sports dressing room well you know and some people just like are drunk like this industry's full of like drama kids and jj's trying to like bust their balls like they're in a baseball dugout well like chloe messaged me she's like you're so mean to me i said i mean it to your boyfriend so don't worry like it's fine yeah no i get your sense of humor though because i get that you probably have to bleep that you don't have to no i'm saying that i said the f word not her that's that's not the f word there's another word that's yeah my youtube doesn't love it but i'm saying like people don't get this it's like

yo the dude i get savages there's people i'm around that are just monsters like what we did about danny he can't even defend himself we're calling him a fat fucking pig at his own wedding and he'll laugh yeah but he's got that i have that same sense of he's not defendable yeah i but so is everybody so we're the three of us like i know i notice as i deal with like other people in life you get this too where it's like you bring that same comedy humor they're like if you're out with people that are not comedians they get like they're like oh don't say that it's not a comedy thing because i have a million friends like that it's more just like a certain type of dude like any hockey dress and like dressing

rooms like that yeah any i'm sure frats are like like it's yeah it's just like yes it's boys boys boys boys at some point i i guess the idea is like that you probably jj gets into trouble probably because you just treat everyone the same which technically is like if you actually think about it like on its surface level that is you don't have you're not discriminating you don't you don't have the best social thermometer no i don't right but they sort of like that is the idea it's like oh you should treat guys and girls the same and you're like well no you shouldn't. Like, obviously.

You know what I mean? Yeah, but I get JJ 100%. Like, JJ is just like, whatever is in his head is going to come out in this moment. But it's actually even more on his side than that. Because people like that, it's like, it's not even that he just can't control himself. It's like, he's like, he's being friends with you. Right. That's his form of affection.

He's the dog in the park that jumps all over you and licks your face and like then like then like tries to lick your ass and lick his donut. Yeah. Like that's what JJ is. Like I get I get that. I appreciate it. But these kids are fucking belly. I get it.

Drama school. I get it. I mean, there is it is fine because there is a lot of people that come from like theater and they're such fucking so not just in comedy just in general people are so they're a bunch of Kevin spaces but even more yeah they're Kevin spaces even that's my new that instead of saying the f-word now I just call him a bunch of Kevin space a bit of a spacey I tried to make out with me in a nightclub one time no people were getting all pissed off when I was

like posting like that anti Kevin spacey shit I was posting all these thing about what a piece of shit he is after I saw the documentary. I'm like, this guy was fucking this kid I knew, this young actor kid. You had inside space? Yeah. He tried to make out with me in a nightclub one time when I was 18. Really? Yeah.

Yeah. How successful was he? Not at all. What'd you say? Can I have one? Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. no no you're out sorry sorry was it by the way ryan helped me quit vaping watch boys cast by march he helps you quit you

know what's so funny i watched that interview and it just made me think about the documentary when he's crying yeah when he's crying on pierce morgan i watched that and it just made me think of amber uh heard and johnny dapp is like fuck these people in like this real life situation that's why it's like i don't trust none of them no i like them but i don't try like even i got proven innocent on all the things that's why it's like i don't it's hard yeah but you're saying you know specifically everyone said he's a notorious piece of shit i've heard that from a lot of people but that's all of them so wait what was it what was the thing okay what's what's the inside what's the what's the thing that he so here's the breaking news yeah if it's one thing when you're harvey weinstein when

you're like literally like didn't he rape people or didn't he or no with harvey weinstein sexual assault there was like i think the like it's all like casting couch stuff but i think his is like way way more way more yeah and where what was kevin space he was just a creep he's just an old gay creep i mean i didn't spend much time with him i just remember he was just like he like he was just dude we were in this nightclub and he like i was just like nah dude like no i don't want to what do you mean what do you want you don't want to what i don't want to spill too much in a public forum because i don't give a shit well but what does it matter though like what does it matter if you spill it it's not you spill it? It's not a hot secret. Yeah, that's true. If you and Spacey made out, you made out.

No, I didn't make out with Kevin Spacey. One, could you blame him? In the eyes of Spacey, he sees young Justin Silver. And don't forget, you're forgetting that this is young Justin Silver, like bad boy, he found a young runaway. Fresh out of Massachusetts. Fresh out of the juvie. Troublemaker.

Needs money. Yeah. I didn't need money. You're fully. I was selling Coke at the time. Your tea counts at 2,000 naturally. That is true. That is true.

Yeah, man. I'm a hyper-responder to tests. Can you blame. Looks a bit gay, maybe. That is true. Could you blame Oscar winning award actor Kevin Spacey? Can I say something? I want to say to camera right now

I deserved it And it was my fault I was asking for it And it was my fault But what did he do that was I know What's the other scoop then? Your buddy

He did stuff with your buddy? I think so Sounds like Spacey Was just tearing through Justin's group, eh? No, no, no, no, no This was like No, this was not someone

I was close to But I remember they showed up At this nightclub And I was like I was like This does not look I was close to, but I remember they showed up at this nightclub and I was like, this does not look like just two dudes hanging out. Oh, you're saying you watched Spacey and he showed up with a little tiny twink? No, the person I knew, this dude that I used to audition with was this tiny. He was actually doing well. I can't say his name.

But he's overage. See, this is what I have. He was overage. He was over 18. I have to defend creeps. There's a difference between being a creep. Oh, I'm not saying what him trying to make out with me is creepy. I'm not claiming that.

No, it is a little creepy. But I have to defend... There's a difference between criminals and creeps. I'm a creep. I'm not a criminal. So I have to defend... He's a weirdo. Yeah, neither of this was...

No, none of this was criminal. None of this was criminal. Okay. So that's what... He was not... I mean, if you saw the suit he was wearing, that's criminal. That's criminal. That, hello, call the fashion police.

This is not fabulous. By the way, his brother in the documentary, what he wears. Did you see like what like his not? I actually didn't watch the documentary. Oh, his dad's like a Nazi who would have like, you saw that part, right? Oh, they used to hold like SS meetings. Oh, I heard about this, yes. Yeah, his dad was like a Nazi. A proper, actual Nazi.

A proper, actual Nazi. And then his brother basically says he was fucking his brother. His dad was fucking his brother. And his brother wears... Look up Google... Are you saying the Nazi was having sex with his brother? Yeah, a lot of the people who joined those, who were in those extreme things are like...

Are you saying the KKK has a lot of pedophiles? I would think so. Coming from Jew propaganda, the KKK is bad. But no, I felt bad for his brother. His brother looks like Elton John fucking Liberace. That's how he dresses. Really? In this documentary, he's like, I wear these costumes to keep myself distanced from who I really like.

No way. He's so damaged. He's so damaged. That whole family's probably. Why am I Googling? Get Johnny to Google it. Oh, I didn't know you could see. Kevin Spacey's brother, and you'll see the outfits.

That whole family's probably so fucked up. It sounds like. And that's interesting trying to like impress your dad when he's an Aussie if you aren't one, and he's like just coming in with like the wrong stereotypes. He's like, oh, those Indians can't drive, right, dad? He's like it's not even the indians that can't drive you don't have your facts down i can't believe you didn't see this documentary dude those jews are criminals and you're like yes but they they don't steal you're getting this wrong yeah i promise is like

you're not good enough at the stats yeah you're not you're like trying to be a fan but you're too casual you're like he you don't even know where this guy played at school. Hey, Dad, four-fifths of a person, right? He's like, you fucking idiot. You know why movies and shows were so much better 20 years ago? Because actors didn't speak that much. And now they speak that much, and it ruins the... You mean publicly. Yeah, it ruins it.

That's why I try not to watch these guys. I remember Matthew McConaughey, and I used to love him. McConaughey's hard to watch after all his antics. When they try to tell you, when they do these speeches, the worst ones are on YouTube, but they do these motivational speeches, like, here's how to make it. I'm like, can we just say that everybody's great

and talented at a certain level, and you got extremely lucky, and this has very little to do with you. Me and Danny, we got into a huge argument with the girls about this the other day where it was like they were talking about how just like someone's you know just so great and both the argument we were making was like if they if they if that guy didn't book the role and the next guy right second choice role you just be saying this about him dude when people go when people go like this when people go dude you just always knew that

guy was gonna make it i'm like i'll show show you 100 people that we said that about who are doing nothing in this field, who are as talented as that guy, if not better, as good looking, and they're like, right place, right time. Especially when you get to movie star territory where they're not even good actors. No. Dude, it's like my dog show, right? They're like, how did he book this? I'm like, here's how.

I was competent enough with dogs. I had an acting background and when something else dropped out they fit the show in and i and i just happen to do a great job at it because like i'm good at those things does that they were like no like they're like he was he's the best at this and i'm like no i'm probably really good at it and very competent at it and like all these other things played a part and i just showed up for it and like the no one would be like okay this is this is if you think of it like for example like a lawyer right or a doctor okay so the top like law like lawyers and doctors that make like over 200 grand a year in the world

there's probably i don't know i don't know i'm guessing like 50 000 100 000 like maybe right i don't know i don't know like doctors in the world doctors i don't know doctors don't make a lot of money okay but let's just say it's 50 000 right like it doesn't know. I don't know. In the world. Doctors, I don't know. Doctors don't make a lot of money. Okay, but let's just say it's 50,000, right? Like it doesn't even have to be doctors, but the job that there's 50,000. The difference is in this field, there's more people doing it and only 5,000.

So if there was like only, you know, let's say 800 doctors that got to be like, actually make a career, that would be like all of a sudden you start just picking them. You know what I mean? There's a great book. And that's why with acting, it's like, so they pick 800 people, you're like,

yeah, but that could have been these other 50,000. Listen, if I literally took, if you literally like... So the amount of people that are good enough to do the job is far, far greater than the amount of people that get to do it. Look at Khan. If you were like, you know, he's good enough to get a Netflix special. Like, if you took all the comedians that had Netflix specials, you're like, are all these

just phenomenal con... You're like, no's like no there's like yeah there's so many you have to be you have to be good enough like you have to be a certain level of skill to be in the casino to play a fucking hand exactly and then from them it's like the real falls where but my point is for acting that certain level of skill is lower as well. Yes. Like, the truth is, like, I mean, what other job other than, like, farmer has, you can have this level of nepotism? Like, you can get a job at Goldman Sachs if your dad's, like, you know, runs Goldman Sachs, but you're probably not going to be the CEO

just because your dad's a CEO because it'll take the company down unless you happen to be that great. Right. Not only that, too, you could be pretty solid as an actor and have a phenomenal director and a phenomenal editor. When I make stuff, when I edit it, I've done things where I'm like, I edit it and I'm like, oh, this actor looks terrible.

And then I'm like, okay, I'm going to fix this. And I like literally fix it. So the actor looks like they're good. Do you do that when I'm on camera? The thing that me and JJ did. Do you do it when I'm on camera? Also explain. Well, I mean, you just pace it wrong.

You literally, like the person speaking at this speed, and then you pace it so it seems like they're speaking too fast or slow. That's like an easy thing. Like an editor can make any actor look bad. You make women look better and Danny look skinnier. Women always, yeah. But normally I don't care so much about lighting, but when you're doing it with a girl, you have to

because they're going to flip out if you make them a dog. Yeah. And so here he is making these sixes, a bunch of sevens and eights. Makes them eights, man. There's a great book called The Drunkard's Walk, How Randomness Rules Our Lives. This is a brilliant book, right? This guy is named Leonard Modlino. He wrote Matlock.

Remember the TV show Matlock? Yeah, yeah. So he's a great screenwriter. And he also wrote books with like Stephen Hawking. And he's a mathematician he basically goes through every industry in the world he's gonna show he's like I'm gonna show you how at the highest levels how much randomness and a coin flip is the thing that decides this thing and almost like a freakonomics of it and he does the right thing though yeah you're in the casino that's yeah he does sports he does it with like the finance industry.

And he goes, the way he basically does it, he goes, this is my favorite one. He goes, what are the chances? He takes some like Fortune 500 company that has beat the S&P 500 by 50% for 15 years in a row. He goes, all right, let me do the math. He's like, I'm going to take how long the S&P 500 has been there, how many companies are in it. And then if I flip flipped coins what are the chances that a company would do this you're 15 years in a row and he's like so he's like people like oh my god this company achieved this or is like this thing happened lucky recipient this person or this company you're talking about the chances of that happening are so great but you're talking

about the person who picked the stock the company is actually a company right like if you're the company can be a better company sure but you're saying the person who picked the stock. Absolutely. So you're saying, you're saying like this hedge fund guy, you're like, they're like the genius hedge fund. It's like, no, the chances of this happening randomly are 100% that it would happen. If I took, if you, if, if, if, if you took a hundred people in a room, none of them knew anything about stocks and you all just randomly picked a bunch of companies.

Someone. One of those would have the same outs. same same uh some people are better at allocation absolutely but but what we're talking about is like on a certain level it's just randomness well i'll tell you what your thing i had an economics professor that said he goes if there was this is uh he goes if there was a coin flipping competition and you started with like thousands of people or like let's say you started with a million people and there's a coin flipping competition then now you're down to first one you lose you're out now you're down to half a million now you're down to 250 000 now you're down you know what i mean yeah so eventually it's whatever 20 coin tosses or whatever the number is then you

get eventually he goes eventually you would get down to 20 people that had won like 20 coin tosses in a row and every single one of them would have a book about their coin tossing technique. A hundred percent. So when Matthew McConaughey basically says like, here's what you have to do to make it, I'm like, what? Win the fucking rules of randomness? Congratulations.

And you have a great hair transplant. He does. Yeah. So that's basically, that's when people argue, they're like, you always knew he was going to make it. I'm like, did you?

Some industries are different than others. I mean, yeah, you can say you always knew he was going to make it. I'm like, did you? Some industries are different than others. I mean, yeah, you could say you always knew he was going to make it, like, once he was like 20 and booked that huge role and it was the number one hit in the world. Of course. Of course. No, but in terms of like- You can screw it up by being bad. 100%.

In terms of sports, there aren't people that should be- Sports is the least, acting's the most. That's my argument. Yeah, no, but he actually, that's what I was thinking. Oh, shit. I was thinking something. I was like, oh, something where you have to be like so physically gifted you're like but you have no he does the randomness of that as well he's like all right how many times like this guy got injured the uh he came on he was phenomenal and then the quarterback who was injured whose dad knows the guy comes back in like There's so many people who just like... The whole Tom Brady story is Drew Bledsoe was the prize.

He was the franchise quarterback. He got injured, and Tom Brady just got... Sure. Next thing you know, that guy's playing for the Argos. He was, wasn't he? With Drew Bledsoe? Then you see it... Is that Doug Flutie?

Doug Flutie. Then you see it in the opposite. You're like, all right, Tim Tebow, Heisman winner. You're like, this guy never played professionally, really. You're like, how does that happen? Couldn't people say, you always knew Tim Tebow was going to make it. You're like, did he? You know what I'm saying?

You see it in everything, man. To me, it always means the least. But sports more fair. Acting the least, but sports is the really least. Because when people are like, let's say a guy who's a ceo like i listen to a lot of people kind of you know talk about you know uh how to be better and stuff like that right and those guys a lot of times have the like good tips but whatever but my least favorite is when it's a uh seven foot tall black guy telling me about like you know honestly you just got to wake up you're like also be like seven two yeah i also have to

be a guy. You literally were born like 7'2". Jason Momoa is going to tell you how to make it in Hollywood. I'm like, thank you. Be the most perfect specimen that's ever walked the face of the planet. That's all I have to do. Doesn't do it for me, man. Just believe in myself.

Doesn't do it for me either. He doesn't do it for you, JJ. No. Get the fuck out. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Before you say the next sentence. Jason Momoa walks in this room right now. He sees you.

He goes, I love you. You're big and bulk. I don't like that. It has to be you. Get the fuck out of here. I don't like that big. I don't believe it. I also don't understand.

I watch him do these commercials. I mean, it must just be pure money grab, eh? Yeah. No, I think he really loves fucking Nextel. He really believes in Nextel and wants us all to know it. He loves the art form. They're cable commercials. But they're so gay.

When he's doing the backflips. He's doing the backflip. I'm looking at this. I'm like, do you sink that low at that point when you're like one of the biggest actors in the world? He must, what, they just give him $20 million? You think he just loves the art forms, the other option? I mean.

He really believes in the self. No, but at least Aquaman. The coverage is so much better. He called them. When you're underwater, the coverage is so much better. No, but aquaman at least called his agent he goes can you understand you gotta get me geico on the phone but at what point like how much more money do you need i don't know i would rather just be hanging out and like

in i think that about fallon the other day because i was like those guys work like 70 hours a week and then fallon also does all these commercials and it's like i think it is they just throw them like they're like hey how much money you make in a month you're gonna make that in an afternoon and it's like hard to say no a lot of them do it in other countries though oh to not be embarrassing yeah a lot of famous actors are like that's the move like what's the movie

the Bill Murray movie the whole point of it is uh fuck lost in translation the whole point of it is it's like you know famous actor in America doesn't want to be associated with this thing. So they go do like, you know, commercials overseas. Yeah. If you would tell me, cause I know Amish, he did a commercial in like some Island, like

in the Cayman Islands. If you told me like, Hey, we're going to pay for you to go to the Cayman Islands for two weeks, we'll get you a villa. You just got to shoot for two days out of the two weeks. Who wouldn't do that? That's what I'm saying. That's how I would do it. But if you're like, okay, do this on top of this on top of this.

I'm like, dude, I need to relax right now. Yeah, I think they make it very fucking easy. I think a film actor on Jason Momoa's level, he's got plenty of relaxation time. I think he's probably pretty busy. But I'm just saying, I know what you mean, though. You show up for an hour. But it is corny yeah to be a movie star that just like can't stop cranking out insurance commercials right

yeah it seems it seems also exhausting the best is when you see their careers but that's that's my problem that is exactly how i feel about jason momoa is he's like an industry like dork like he's a bit of a feminine energy like he's just like i know he kicked the shit out of me whatever but like he's just like not he's not going he's not a cool guy in my opinion all his opinions are corny like he's he's like does whatever they want he looks awesome if he took that away you're like yeah which also that goes hand in like you know he's telling you whatever the cause du jour is that week and that goes hand in hand with i'll do anything for money like there are people that

are there are movie stars that are like no i don't want to do that because i think it's uncool i think what we're talking about here is standards guys yeah there's standards standards there is standards like if i would align jay's not gonna fuck the guy now no i'm not now he's gonna learn his lesson like your standards kevin spacey's not gonna cut it for you no but i get like if like your little twink friend though, got took in for a spin. It's a twink taking a time. Well, I mean, they get suckered in because they believe the power thing.

The crazy thing about the documentary is you see the guys he did it to. It's like, this guy's a fucking Marine. I can't believe it. We have to talk about this when you've seen it. I'm not watching this. The guy's a Marine. There's 95 Me Too documentaries on Netflix.

I can't keep up. There is too much shit. Between that and all the gay TV on the plane, a guy's got to fucking breathe and sleep. It actually is a gay, gay Me Too, gay, gay Hollywood Me Too. Jason Momoa commercial. Dude, there's one girl, and I can't remember her name, but she was the girl who tried to take down David Cross.

But she basically worked on a set, and then she made a documentary about how there was like the guys on set were toxic and stuff like that and then she made another documentary It's ugly male comedians, what are they going to be? She made a documentary about like taking down men and then she made another documentary about how the men on that set were

It's such a rush The guy on the set No, don't you guys, how do you not understand what we're doing here? The grip, he doesn the guy in the set of her no don't you guys how do you not understand what we're doing here the grip he doesn't believe in the cause dude if you're on

her next set of her next movie you're fucking you're like this you're not blinking you better show me up in a fucking attack dog suit

yes ma'am I mean ma'am sorry if you're on that set you're not gonna blink without her permission my friend you're gonna end up

the star of the next doc. Did she really? At the end of it goes, and by the way, the guys on this set also. No, no. In the writing. No, she made another one. That's so funny. That's all she does.

That's so funny. She's making a guys are bad documentary. What does she look like? She made a documentary where the guys on the guys are bad documentary. What does she look like? I think she's half Asian or something. She's the girl that took down David Cross for the Asian joke that said that David Cross said Jing Chong to her.

Did he? She said it was like 15 years ago. She's literally remembering. This girl remembered any slight that she's had from any man ever or just made them up. I don't know. There are some angry women, which I don't get, man. You think? She's profitable, man.

She's made a business out of this Oh my god You could literally like Be a hot chick Like a decent looking chick And just like Fucking work your way up the system And not even be like a cunt

Make a documentary About a documentary How How bad did she take him down? Did it really fuck him over? Wow he's changed his act What the David Cross thing? Yeah

His was kind of bad Because basically David Cross was like really on the like bad Trump's bad and all that sort of stuff and like every other thing and like you know

against racism and then she basically came out and said that well David Cross is saying he's so against racism 15 years ago

I was walking to a show and he looked at me because I'm Asian and said ching chong ching chong I would have done that I would have done that that's pretty fantastic

he used to be so funny. And then his wife basically... That would be my closer. David Cross basically said it didn't happen, and then David Cross's wife basically said, I believe the girl. Oh, the fat feminist chick. What?

David Cross's feminist girl wife. I don't know if she's fat. Oh, I don't know if she's fat. Oh, I don't know if she's fat. I know. I don't really remember. Her personality's fat. Jason Mowes. She sided with the girl against him, basically. That's always the kiss of death.

When the ex comes on and is like, oh yeah, he's like this. But that's his current wife. That's what I'm saying. Get the fuck out of here. That's his current wife that's what I'm saying get the fuck out of here dude his like he was like this bad boy and now he's like his stuff I watched him on a podcast talking about biscuits

oh the old Jim Gaffigan ended up huh no Gaffigan's still dark though I know but it's like it's very family friendly oh it's so family friendly I've always loved it my mom she-friendly. Oh, it's so family-friendly. Really? I've always loved that. I'm sure my mom.

My mom, she'll definitely message me every now and then and be like, you heard about this guy, Jim Gaffigan? The way I do with music? Yeah, yeah. Ryan's mom has a crush on me. JJ will send you a message and be like, have you heard of ACDC? Not that bad. The Killers, I didn't find out until last week.

Found out about The Killers last week. Last week? Last year. Maybe actually six months ago. Which song? Christian Rock. Which one? What was the song that made you really feel it?

The Bright Side thing. JJ, he went to the bar and he had a drink in his hand yelling, It's Mr. Bright Side! That's the ultimate. Number one song on the planet for two years, JJ. Really? That's the ultimate. For two years?

Yeah, sorority chicken at a bar. Two years. Not these two years. Like, years ago. Years at bar. Two years. Not these two years, like years ago. Years ago when you should have first heard about them. I was an AM radio guy. Sports talk. There it goes. All right.

A sports talk. All right, coming in with a win. Yeah, literally. And there's the pitch. Welcome to the dugout on 4-3-4-5-4 Kitchener. And that's a ball outside. Ball four. But you know,

so in Canada, we've been following this story, but basically, there was this basically waxing salon and then trans goes into the waxing salon and the Muslims didn't want to wax the dick and balls and then basically sued the place. And then I think it was the girl was jessica

thirty five thousand dollars but i don't know if this is jessica and eve or another one i don't know because jessica and eve was like the famous one and she was going everywhere and she's like fat and everything being like uh a muslim waxing place so yeah they must have it down oh oh yeah i was gonna say i thought you were saying it was weird for them to have it i was like that seems like such a business like an Indian dude would run or something like hey you want to

you want to be able to not have to not wear a shirt anymore no the Indian dudes need to go the shoulders that's their problem they always or smooth as a baby

I was saying the natish you need to have the shoulders either way you can go the shoulder thing natish it's a hairy back all of our buddies have the shoulder things

the shoulders but I'm just just shave that. They all have the shoulders. Everyone. Man groomer, bro. Are they fucking sponsoring this thing? Come on.

There it is. Yeah, the shoulders. That's a bad look, man. It looks like you rolled around in the barbershop. Your arms were wet. Yeah, the worst is the hair out the back of the t-shirt. You are fucking peeling, by the way, dude. Holy shit.

Ryan, dude, these Canadians are not supposed to be in sun. I just saw the back of you. Look at you, dude. You're like a snake. What the fuck? I just had to put on an aloe app. You better not commit a fucking crime today, buddy. It's the golf that did me in, man. Don't pick it. What, are you going to give it to me? You're going to touch me.

By the way, we're going to sell this. I need to go to the waxing place to get the wax and peels. So the Muslims didn't want to wax the dick. And then she got 35K. The balls. But they won. That's the thing. So the Muslim place, and I think they're trying to do a GoFundMe and all this stuff now, but

it's just so funny they did the court case. And I was actually thinking that would be a funny show or something, being the lawyer for that kind of stuff. The lawyer had to go argue that, is this not a woman? See, your sign says that you wax vaginas. My client is not a woman? Does she not have hair? Does she not complain?

They bring her up on the stage. You're saying she's not a woman. They bring her up on the stage and she cries and they go, exhibit A. Funny would it be to be in that jury when they get down to the nitty gritty of like, explain the process of the waxing and why this does not

constitute fair wax like when they get into the nitty gritty of this that would be hilarious that's what I'm saying it's so funny your honor

I'm going to ask my client to show her ball pussies and the Muslim girl is in the corner crying it's like basically like

the girl pulls out her dick and she's like oh now my husband's going to beat me for having to see that oh I didn't even think about that part oh you think it was their own accord she's like basically like the girl pulls out her dick and then she's like, oh, now my husband's going to beat me. I'm going to see that. Oh, I didn't even think about that part. Oh, you think it was their own accord?

She's like, I can't jerk off another dude or I'm going to be in fucking hot water with my husband, Muhammad and Muhammad. I don't know why anybody would want the balls waxed. That's so painful. No, you shave them. Also crazy. Yeah. Also crazy. I shave the balls, wax the asshole I agree Shave the balls Waxy asshole

That's it I shave my asshole Really I mean I don't have a lot of hair But I just like I'll just run around the side Like there's the There's the hole here

And then there's like a little cheek That comes out You could just like go But you don't need a smooth ass I don't need a smooth ass That's right No one puts anything in there Or near there

As far as everybody on this podcast Is concerned Kevin Spacey call Kevin Spacey Kevin Spacey's watching this space all right well I don't know that story is just my favorite but that was a good one that is great needing my balls wax anyways Justin you got shows coming up right yes uh this Saturday which is June 29th I will be uh in New Jersey at the Dojo

of Comedy, one show, 930. And then July 18th, I will be in Austin, Texas at the Creek in the Cave. You can get all tickets at IamJustinSilver.com. My social media is at IamJustinSilver. And I made this cool merch, the Anxiety Athletic t-shirts, which you can get all, find them all on my social

media. So please come out to shows, support, watch my shit on social media. Dojo's amazing, by the way. Is it? I heard that show's... Two weeks ago, I just did it. I heard it's a great room. The guy who runs it, Mike? Mike, yeah.

Badass. Oh, cool. Yeah, I'm excited. That's a Saturday. And for people who have been following JJ's since we brought him to New York, he might want to see his Instagram. He's a social media star now

from the Che Durena formula How's that feel to be a big star now? I said it right before We're almost at 40 How's that feel to you? Body, you know I don't know The slightest bit of fame

This guy's going to become a monster You're going to start doing these Nextel commercials Back flipping I'll be honest with you He's going to be doing all of that I'll be honest with you I have a bit about this

guy now so ryan this guy ryan about ryan okay we're in an uber when i first moved here the first week we're going from brooklyn comedy club to the cellar and they complain about how loud he is now that's my uber and i we're talking about success he goes he looks at me he goes you're not ready for fame and then in all seriousness he said this two years ago because I couldn't handle it right away. You need to see it. And then I start doing well online and I'm just sending out nudes to everyone. Well, I just knew.

Didn't you watch the Kevin Spacey documentary? If it became very popular overnight, it would be bad for him. I think you need a slow thing. Slow. Or else you're going to become a maniac. First of all, if you made a million dollars,

you would lose it in like three thing. Slow. I knew that. Or else you're going to become a maniac. First of all, if you made a million dollars, you would lose it in like three months. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. You'd try to fuck everything that walks. Everything. You're sending nudes to people who are not asking for them? Bro, I'm famous. Here's my dick.

Let me tell you something. I've had to block people that I've had crazy conversations with where I'm like, yo, for sure you're over 21. Look, I'm like, yo, for sure you're over 21. Look, I'm not sending this until you prove I'm over 21. And then I send it. I'm like, oh man, I don't know about this. And I have to block them. But on top of all that stuff,

you definitely should ask. But I'm saying on top of all that stuff, the level that you'd be an asshole to people. No, I'm not an asshole. In fact, I've gotten nicer. I think that now You're better But I think there was

Probably a point where If you like shot up Very popular You would be probably like Who the fuck is this Jamoke That thinks he can talk to me Who's this Rube

Who's this Rube But he was right Do you know who I am You'd be saying You know who I am Pretty quickly No Oh really

No I would never say Me No I think he's ready now I would I'm telling you He's scotter. I think he's ready now. I would. I'm telling you, he's skyrocketing. He's taking Instagram by storm. I said to him, or I said on stage, I'm like, yo, I'm sending out.

Dude, there was a Tuesday. I was in my bed sending out nudes, and it wasn't even 10 a.m. And I'm like, yo, I'm not ready for fame. Were you up from the night before? No, I just woke up. Had a cup of coffee, and this is what I'm doing. I hadn't even eaten coffee yet. I'm like,

I'm not ready for fame yet. I need, and I had, this was like a week. That's an after 4 p.m. fucking activity. Yeah, two weeks ago and I'm like,

yo, dude, you gotta change shit. So I was like, to any girls or all guys? Whoever. Everything, kids, everybody. I'll show you the DMs afterwards. People are saying,

hey, can I see it? I don't want to be complicit in your fucking crimes. Oh, because you posted your thing being like, I send people nudes and then other people message you being like and then you're just sending it to everyone then i had an only fans chick who was so smoke show she's in miami this weekend because i'm miami with jay and we're doing exotica the avn thing yes and she's like send me videos so hot she's talking about how we can fuck and stuff like that hot chick

totally into the gay stuff that i'm into yeah and then she sends me a video and she's farting. I'm like, that's what you think I like? You think I want to see a fart? I don't like a fart. I don't like ass play. She thought you'd kink out on her? She thought I would love a fart. I'm so mad.

I'm a fart. I come across as a fart. You 100% do oh you really do if you if you told me like i love when a guy like farts in like a tupperware and then like gives it to me and then i open it up and smell it while i'm joking i got real i got real specific on that oh god can i see the nudes yeah let me see him well you want to see jj's nudes yeah i like see like i mean i see the farting i don't know let me see j's nudes I want to see JJ's nudes What the fuck's going on right now?

I don't even answer them, man Dude, you're so pop Oh my god, you're like Kanye You don't even answer those fucking things The requests, dude These requests JJ can't find your pride month

There's like Send me the dicks React to the story I want to see them Can you shut the fuck up? That guy's on the money this is the only good that guy's got standards but i was so upset i'm not into flatulation play who i don't who is i guess but you're right danny says he likes a good fart i don't think i don't think it turns him on but i

actually mentioned that of the my speech they laugh i think they're terrence and philip yeah yeah i think that's gross but i don't think and Phillip, yeah. Yeah, I think that's gross. But I don't think it's like during sex thing. I think they think they're funny. A fart during sex would be horrendous. I once drooled.

Horrendous. I once drooled on my ex, the only chick I ever dated. I drooled while I was inside of her. She laughed so hard she pissed the bed. I get the idea of laughing at it because you're close to someone

and you farted during sex. I get that. But into it, be like, come on, go eat a bunch. I get the idea of laughing at it because you're close to someone. I get that, but into it, be like, come on, go eat a bunch. I can't imagine liking it. Go eat a bunch of fucking whey protein and store it up. Yeah. I'm going to fart on my dick. I go, what the fuck did you just do to me? You're getting sent to the program.

Sent to the program. You're getting cornered and robed. Next time we have sex, we're going to be taping that asshole shut because he can't be trusted. Pig. I think it ruins the moment. Like, I'm not going to be able to. Of course it does.

Like, sure, you can fart all you want by accident, but don't expect me to, like, nut in you. I'm very, I'm good about, like, not farting. Like, if I'm dating someone, I'm like, you know. I would just pretend I didn't notice. Yeah. But do you fart in front of them? I don't. Fuck no. I would start. Yeah, I'm not. But you fart in front of them? Fuck no.

Yeah, I'm not. I'm not like a gross out. I'm not a gross out guy. I'm not a gross out guy either. Yes, you are. Oh, it's true. Jesus, that was fucking easy. That was so easy. You spit everywhere.

Boomer, our buddy, the firefighter in Toronto. Dude, his ex. And Rouse are gross out, guys. Gross out, guys. His ex is sleeping on the couch, and he turns the camera on. And yo, he's notorious for being disgusting. He let one rip on her face. I guess that was his thing.

And she wakes up and like, come on, Boomer. No, screaming at him. What the fuck? It wasn't normal. It would sound like a whoopee cushion. He's a big dude. Jacked out was his thing. And she wakes up and like, come on. No, screaming at him. What the fuck? It wasn't normal. It would sound like a whoopee cushion. He's a big dude. Jacked out of his mind. Got it.

So he was one of those stores them up. But that's not my thing. Not my thing either. That's definitely not my thing. I reciprocate it when the girl tries to turn us into a gross-ass relationship. I go, we're not going to. You're going to be a lady. Yeah.

Be a lady. Be a lady. Wax your balls but anyways this week in Miami this comes out tomorrow today yeah

Miami with Che 28th 29th and then Exotica and then I'm with you in August

oh yeah yeah yeah yeah Saratoga Springs Saratoga is amazing yeah alright peace everyone