The Boyscast with Ryan Long - The Most Insane Breakup Method Ever, Starseeds And Kaepernicks RACIST Parents w/ Adam Rowe

Episode Date: March 17, 2023

Colin Kaepernick's racist parents, ravenous female prison guards, JP retweeting questionable videos and the Tiger Woods controversy with ADAM ROWE! Adam Rowe is an English stand-up comedian and podcaster from Liverpool. @adamrowecomedian @adamrowecomedy SUPPORT THE SPONSORS: Tryfum.com - Code BOYSCAST - 10% Off RYAN ON TOUR: Boston: March 24/25, Las Vegas: Mar31/Apr1, Atlanta: April 28/29, Philadelphia: May 2/3, Tampa: June 2/3, New York - Sept 16 SUPPORT THE BOYSCAST: https://www.patreon.com/theboyscast http://ryanlongcomedy.com MERCH - ryanlongstore.com Ryan @ryanlongcomedy Danny @dannyjokes LEAVE US A FIVE STAR REVIEW! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Colin Kaepernick is back in the news after alleging that his white parents, get this, are racist. Well, actually, it's a pretty reasonable claim because as someone who also doesn't identify with white culture, I know what it's like to have it thrust upon you when my parents forced me to play hockey at the ripe age of six years old. Ryan, why are you wearing a durag? Made me get up against my will at 6 a.m. sharp, which we all know is white people time. But you're white. And on top of that, when I spoke of bonics to my grandmother, my dad pulled me aside and said, stop calling grandma a biatch,

because apparently other cultures are not welcome at this hospice. You know what? Now that you mention it, I also had whiteness foisted upon me. Where'd you get a matching durag? That's not important. What's important is that for my bar mitzvah, I wanted to wear a durag instead of a kippah. This thing is street legal.

They wouldn't allow it. And I also requested instead of a rab, to get the Reverend Al Sharpton. But they said they couldn't afford him. And now that I think about it, I don't even think they asked. I don't know if you're trying to make some sort of mockery of my culture, but when my grandmother died, I wanted to eulogize her with a freestyle, and everyone was violently opposed to that. Not to mention the pushback against what I wanted to wear to the funeral,

which was very baggy gray sweatpants, a white wife beater, two baby blue wristbands, a matching baby blue headband, Allen Iverson style, and I was told that there's a dress code at this funeral, which sounds about white. Oh, Ryan, I know what dress code really means. When I was at Passover, they're all droning on about Jewish slaves, and I was like, can we talk about the real slaves, please? Okay, but you actually do identify with white culture, and I don't, which is why it was

problematic when my parents forced me to do my homework against my will when what I really wanted to do was walk around the house with a comically large ghetto blaster, blasting music at all hours of the night. I was forced to light Hanukkah candles during Kwanzaa, Ryan. I was grounded for showing up baked to Easter, which is a part of my Rastafarian roots, which I was not allowed to explore,

and I actually don't appreciate you making a mockery of this. Because of the programming of my white parents, I'm physically incapable of getting waves. We have Adam Rowe in the studio, folks. The boys cast. Adam Rowe in the studio. Hello. From across the pond. Hello.

Contagious. It's really, really funny hearing you do what is a typical british hugh grant accent me because that's just not yeah well liverpool is like a way to you guys i mean everywhere is like well i'm sure can you tell all the like can you tell if you talk to somebody what specific area in the uk yeah oh yeah yeah they're so different. But like North London, like South, like that specifically? No, I could do like, I mean, yeah, probably. Liverpool's like the Beatles, right? Liverpool's the Beatles.

Right. Yeah. But like my accent is like, this is the third time I've been to New York. The first time I came over, everyone was like, oh, you Scottish or are you Irish? And then the last time I was here, I've told the story a couple of times. I can't even remember who it was, but it was at the comedy cellar and someone heard me talking and said,

hey, are you from Syria? Syria? His first guess was that I was Syrian. This is a comic? And I know I'm a dark-haired, hairy guy. Yeah, it was another comma. It was sat like near the table at the cellar. Hey, are you Syrian?

I was like, no, Liverpool. I was like, no, Liverpool. They were like, oh, the Beatles. It does seem like the accent that you have is almost sounds a little Scottish in the sense that it is, you know, like I count Dan killer. Yeah. Like I legitimately, I'll like, he does like stuff like his internet show. I'm like, I know he's a funny guy, but sometimes when I watch his things and I'm like, I don't know what this guy's saying.

Yeah. I was, I can't remember where I was recently, but I was at some show at the stand actually. And I started talking to somebody in the front and they were on vacation from, I think it was Scotland, which I guessed correctly. And then he, I asked him a question and his answer was like, I don't know what you just said. Like, honestly, nobody had any idea. Your crowd work didn't work.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, it didn't work. I just didn't understand what he was saying it's uh it's very difficult to have everyone take the piss out of you speaking your first language thinking you're from somewhere else so that's uh basically most of american tv is like guys from london uh talking about american politics and telling americans why they're bad that's like a big pathway. It's like you become popular in Britain, and then you can finally come over to America where you can tell Americans they're bad.

That's the dream for me. That's why I'm here. I'm on a pilgrimage. Yeah, the accent is tough. I naturally slow down a bit when I'm talking to you guys. Like I'm normally a lot quicker. So I've released a couple of specials this year, the first one I put out

Shane Gillis tweeted it for me he's like how many Maze Adams put a special out and I just clicked it and just looked at the comments every single comment is where the fuck has this come from what is that fucking noise Shane why have you shared this without subtitles

like there's no way we can understand this guy. Yeah, it's a very thick, strong accent. But Liverpool is an immigrant city from Ireland, really. So there's a lot of Irish in Liverpool. So you've got the north of England and Ireland, which has sort of created this news. Just a bunch of people that can't speak English very well. Yeah, Yeah.

And it's even harder for like a Brit like me to come over here than it would be for you to go to England because we see every fucking TV show you guys make. Every major movie is

done from here. Like you don't see any of our shit. This is a bit of Stolen Valor. We aren't from America. We're both Canadian. Oh yeah. Shit. Yeah. Yeah. Right our shit. This is a bit of a stolen valor. We aren't from America. We're both Canadian.

Oh yeah. Shit. Ryan gets it. This is still talking about. I couldn't let it go on any longer. Honestly, I was going to say, I just made a, for the Canadians,

I just made a reference. But I was going to say, because Ryan gets a lot of shit for his accent. Yeah. And he showed his raw accent. And I'm sitting here pretending and I'm like, do you believe I have an accent?

Like people are yelling at the fucking screen right now being like you got some fucking nerve Ryan I knew you were Canadian as well it just fucking

fell out of my head sure but like it does sound very similar okay dude like here's the example do you care about the like the Oscars

does anyone care about the Oscars where you're from care no but do you care? No, I don't care, but I'm like a cool hip guy.

I'm a guy that presents myself as too cool for that. Someone goes to the Oscars and I go, yeah, I was hip. The hot dog company? The morning after it, I woke up and checked

who'd won. The Hugh Grant thing was good. What's the Hugh Grant thing? What did he do? He was like, I don't know, he just really did not

want to be there and then that plus size model was like interviewing him or whatever. Hugh Grant's what do you do he was like I don't know he just really did not want to be there and then that plus size model was like interviewing him or whatever so Hugh Grant she was like what's your like favorite part

and he's like about the Oscars and he's like I don't know and then she's like who made your suit he's like Taylor

he's honest it looks like someone's gone Hugh can you do an interview and he's gone absolutely not no I'm busy.

No, it's like he's forced to be there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like the red carpet of the Oscars. And she's really trying. Like, God bless her. Yeah, sure. Everyone's giving Hugh Grant a lot of credit, like going, this is really funny.

And like, Ashley Graham it is. And she's trying her best. She's like, so, who are you wearing? And he goes, it's my suit. Yeah, I see. Just dummying some girl. This was her big break. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And she's just having a fucking nightmare, but he just couldn't give a fuck. It's like he's missing his daughter's bed. It's Dave. It's half this interview. It's the Steve Carell when he's doing improv, and he always just says, I haven't got a gun there. You just always put a stop

to whatever they're trying to do. Oh, you're having a fun time? Not really. Okay. You know what the only thing I do with those things is a little bit, probably just, I'll skim through to see

if there's any good controversies. That's what like, I'll see who's mad. Like I saw a lot of people on Twitter that were talking about the Brendan Fraser one. Like saying that, probably the best tweet I saw was like,

just know that this movie was made by like a guy that's not fat enough, by a team of people that were fat. Like they were mad that the directors and writers weren't fat too. Yeah, of course, of course. But I just love the idea that if you're going to make a movie about fat people,

like everyone's, the caterers have to be fat. I mean, that's the rules. Those are the new rules. I don't know. Maybe fat people were too lazy to write the fucking movie. Yeah, yeah. No, he's like, yeah, we had a lot of fat people on the writing squad. The thing is, though, like, I understand the arguments for, like, diversity and like, oh,

there's not enough fat lead roles for this show. I understand the arguments. I'm not saying I agree with it. But he's just won the Oscar for best actor. Like, he's won it. And afterwards, people are going, but should he really have played it? How can he win that award? And then be like, was

this the best guy? That's a good point. He was literally the best actor this year, and you don't know whether he was good enough to play the role he won it for. And also, with Brendan Fraser, it's funny too, because they're sort of like, oh, like, they should have picked someone else, and Brendan Fraser's like, hey, they're not because they're sort of like, oh, like they should have picked someone else. And Brendan Fraser's like,

hey, they're not throwing rolls at me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if you've checked out my career trajectory. Yeah, they're like, what are you doing playing a fat guy? He was like, yeah, would have loved to play leading cool guy. Wasn't really on the table in the last five years. Those mummy rolls kind of dried up. Yeah.

That's the other thing. So there was that one, and then people were saying that like, there wasn't enough gay people doing the gay rolls there was so there was that one and then people were saying that like there wasn't enough gay people doing the gay roles or whatever which was whatever but more importantly

do you know Diplo who Diplo the DJ famous DJ oh yeah yeah but basically he was doing like podcast circuit

and he was coming out and he said that like he's been having sex with men and letting guys blow them but he doesn't look them in the eyes so he doesn't consider it gay so that is sort of the question is that gay if you don't look him in the eyes he was saying that

not jokingly no he's sort of yeah he was doing the like emily rajatowski or whatever so it's basically diplo saying he's like yeah yeah like sometimes i get head from guys but i don't look him in the eyes so nothing gay about it it is just borrowing a bit of moisture from a stranger though isn't it like so that's how you see it you say not gay yeah i think you're one for not gay i'd go for not gay but if if he was the one sucking the dick then it's it's all of a sudden gay you're like yeah i didn't look at him if you have a dick in any of your holes at any point it's gay and there's nothing wrong with that but it is have you ever heard the thing where they said definitely that like

dudes when you get like famous or rich enough you basically become a chick where people are you know what I mean like cause girls it's like everyone's trying to buy them stuff

and try to like get them or whatever it's like guys if you get famous enough or rich enough it's like you get treated how a hot girl gets treated but maybe he has that too

where he's like the same with girls it's like girls can sort of make out with a girl at a party and it's not a big deal when you're a rich famous celebrity it's like you basically become a girl again where it's like a party, and it's not a big deal. When you're a rich, famous celebrity,

it's like you basically become a girl again, where it's like, yeah, I got blown by a guy. Nothing gay about it. I'm like a rich. You essentially go back to... The old Tom Cruise defense. Yeah, it's the old Tom Cruise defense. Would you rather never get blown again

or only get blown by guys for the rest of your life? Never get blown again. I barely get blown as is. One's a pretty rare occurrence. I'm being completely honest okay i have like that's what i guess i'm airing it out but natish would always say that he'd be like yeah like maybe once a week my girl just blows me we don't have sex or whatever and you're just like how do you finagle that yeah what's what's the uh the negotiation process there you're getting blown a lot danny that's normal there that's neither here nor there you think once a week just a straight up nothing else I mean I wouldn't put

like an absolute definite calendar timing on it but yeah I don't know that's I mean it depends once a decade first off here's the thing depends on the girl and then but there is and everybody who's watching this guys know exactly what I'm talking about the more you get blown the more problems you have that is a crazy it's really the psychos who want to blow you all the time it's always the ones where you're like the ones who are really it is it's the like if you're not getting blown a lot you're having a fairly peaceful home life i i so i do have you know what i've genuinely got to tell you, from my relationship experience, it was the exact opposite. Opposite, really? The exact opposite, though.

Interesting. Without going into details. Cool girl, super nice, a lot of blowing. Yeah, just like, yeah, we're in a relationship. This makes you happy. I want to make you happy. Not mental. Yeah.

Sees those Patreon numbers. She would blow me, and I would cook more. No, you cook. I cook. Well, that's my thing, is I don't do any girl shit. He's a bean man. I'm not out here in a neighborhood. cook I call well that's my thing is I don't do any girl shit he's a bean man I'm not out here in a night he's big on your food culture actually big can bean man I do like a can of bean yeah yeah but like baked beans and there's like

beans yeah yeah yeah like I just like it I feel like people always there go viral on the internet being like everyone's like oh you have to go to get see the food in Paris and I'll be just a person with feel a lot of people always go viral on the internet being like, everyone's like, oh, you have to go to see the food in Paris. And it'll be just a person with like a piece of toast and some beans on the thing. And they're like, this is what I had to come for. This is like what everyone's been talking about. I like coming here for food because America just does food. It's bigger and it's just that ridiculous time. Bigger portions for sure.

They're not messing around with portions. I had steak steak fries and eggs at 9.30am because that was the breakfast special this morning and I sent it to my girlfriend she was like

it's half nine in the morning I was like when in Rome yeah when I'm with a fat American I'm skinny here babe I am no like not in New York

because New York people walk everywhere but like I do feel go to like Nashville I'm New York people walk everywhere but like I do feel go to like Nashville I'm going you'll be like emaciated

in comparison to the big ones big ones for sure big boys down there okay so you're a sports guy and we're sort of like talking on our Patreon

a little bit about this Tiger Woods thing but it's sort of like blown up are you a Tiger Woods fan? I am in this new era of Tiger Woods. I wasn't really bothered until I found out about his true numbers,

and that's when I fell in love with the guy. Are you a golf fan at all? Golf, no. I used to play quite a lot when I was a teenager, and I haven't played for about 10 years, but I've promised myself I'm getting back into it this year. Yeah, okay. But I've got a shoulder that likes to dislocate itself.

Ah, that's too bad. His is sort of like, Tiger Woods does keep presenting himself as like sort of a dog. Like even, what was the other one? He was on the course and then he had a tampon.

He handed Justin Thomas a tampon when he got drunk. That's just funny though, isn't it? That is so funny. The fact that he like in the morning was like goes to his caddy or himself and he's like, I'm going to throw a couple of tampons in my bag

because I'm going to need them. Like he had to to plan that like his whole plan was he had the idea where he's like gonna throw a couple tampons in the bag for when i out drive jt and then i is it not a more interesting world if he didn't plan it and he's just like where the fuck is this from oh actually it's a lot of pussy on the run though and i love that he's so insulated he doesn't realize that like he's gonna get in trouble for that like he really had no clue he goes what yeah it is funny but it's also obvious you're gonna get there's gonna be headlines about it and he just doesn't and to be him who's already had headlines that you do not want and to still be like you're right because he just non-stop makes moves that cost him like millions of dollars every move you know what i

mean but at the same time where you're just like someone's like hey this tampon thing is gonna get you in trouble he goes promise you it's not gonna pale in comparison to the other time i've been doing i mean he doesn't care at this point he has maybe i just hope that he just doesn't get a new girlfriend for the last three years of his like real career because he made he tops has two three years left before he's really like and do you think the girls are messing him up? Yes. So he missed the players last week.

No, no, no. I think like girls with his superpower because if you think about it like he was fucking I sort of think that a little too. He was fucking these women for years

and like thousands of them like all the time cheating on his wife like going through number after number of women and winning every championship at the same time

and the second it came out, he just became shit at golf. He's the ultimate confidence player. He's lost his confidence. I do know what you mean. He can't hit a ball as straight anymore because he's not getting blown enough. He literally, his secret

power was his supermodels and they took away his supermodels and he was like, they're like, hey, why don't you golf today? And he was like, I guess, whatever. They weren't supermodels though. took away his supermodels and he was like they're like hey why don't you golf today and he was like i guess whatever they weren't supermodels though they were waffle waitresses and shit that was the thing they weren't supermodels because you don't get the guys like that they're just like i have no problem with it yes i do i'm pussy crazy no no you say they were waffle waitresses but they weren't like the waffle waitresses we'd get to sleep with honestly you say that but i actually think they are like that was like it was kind of the thing that everyone was so flabbergasted about i think that is true the like guys like

that that when you're just like completely addicted to banging like the gene simmons gene that's why they call them genes that's where it came from yeah but the gene simmons gene like legitimately you're not discriminating you're just like oh there's one there's one there's one so I think that is waffle waitresses

you know what I mean he's got too many injuries like he just he can't deal with it right now he's just gotta get focused on golf no chicks for two years so okay

so that's what you but I'm sort of more with Adam because I do think that yeah because no okay we all know and the girlfriend was the problem

we all know the person that was like a comedian that gets the girlfriend, and all of a sudden they're like watching too much Netflix. They're not writing. They're, you know, your career is getting screwed up. I don't, but we also know the guy that's been banging too many, I think the sweet spot for Tiger Woods was have a wife and then also bang the supermodels.

Because if he doesn't have the wife he needs both of them yeah but the thing is he's 47 and he needs the wife to tone down how many supermodels he's banging

he needs a healthy home life with a blissfully ignorant wife and supermodels and if you take either away it's like giving him

left handed clubs it is ah yeah baby and also there is something about because with Tiger Woods, there's like, why can't you just have a girl who is like, listen, you know the deal. I'm going to be out there a bit, but you're going to

have a great life. He doesn't seem to be able to finagle that deal. We know fucking finance guys that have finagled that deal. How is Tiger Woods not being able to do it? Hey, he's got these bulletproof NDAs. I don't know.

I know. It seems to be the agreement Conor McGregor has with his wife. I don't know if you noticed that. But every like three or four months. Well, every three or four months, there's rumors that like someone else is pregnant via Conor McGregor. Yeah, I remember. Every now and then I remember.

Yeah, and he's like, he's always fucking me. There's pictures of him like in hotel rooms with girls with his hand, like half of their dress. And then every UFC event, D Devlin, his wife is just like hanging off him. And it's so obvious. He's gone. Look, I'm a two weight world champion and I'm a billionaire. Now you can either be with me and I'm going to fuck everyone.

Or you can go and have John who works in the church. Yeah, I know for sure. They're your options options and she's gone fuck who you want give me all the money I guess the counterpoint to that is he was like listen you can be with me

and be a billionaire he's like she's like yeah the part you're not realizing or as I could not be with you and be half your money a billionaire he's like

oh how much money do you have he's like how about having half of that how does that sound because that's like at that point I'm sure Connor is like early in

he probably doesn't even have prenups or anything like that no no no that's his original check yeah she's gonna own half of his but I think there is

something to be said about like when you are that like that in the sports especially it's like I do whatever I want

I think it's that you know there's something about like in the intellectual pursuits I think that doesn't help you as much

although there's like the Einsteins of the world that were just like non-stop banging was he apparently some of those guys i think this might might have been einstein but he was like notoriously like a bad guy like i don't know if he was a big like uh like sleeping with his friends wives and stuff like yeah i don't know but i know he had like a funny contract with his wife. All their girlfriends are like 14 too. Like don't look into the ages of these chicks. You heard it here first. Einstein, piece of shit.

Canceled. Fuck you Einstein. I think when it comes to Einstein, you just have to separate the art from the artist. We've got to be able to have gravity. Like we just need it. And you also are going to have a lot of gravity with the girls. Tiger's been banging sixes and fives.

Well, so, but what happened was the interesting thing about him is like, it kind of reminds me of like very, I bet, I don't know if he's like friends with Donald Trump, but it's very like reminds me of Donald Trump behavior where he was just like,

you know, I hear about like Trump kind of like just not pay contractors or whatever like things where it's just like you could tell this guy's just like I'm gonna do what I want and like I don't care about people's feelings sort of thing Tiger Woods is like how he I don't know if you saw what happened but basically he was with his like girl and then how he broke up with her is he convinced her that they're going on a vacation and then she packed her bags and then got out and got in the thing and then he just locked all the doors and he's like yeah yeah we're broken up now yeah and he she was like what and he's like yeah you have your bags now so good you're like that's crazy i mean you know what though jake is super crazy he's probably like

this is for me kind of just like so that's your easiest way for him to get out of this i feel like in his mind he's just like i don't he's weird he's a weird dude like i remember there's a famous story i think i said it before where he was super famous and he was with derek cheater and michael Like in his mind, he's just like, I don't know. He's weird. He's a weird dude. Like I remember there's a famous story. I think I said it before where he was super famous and he was with Derek Jeter and Michael Jordan at some club. And then he's like, I don't know how to. He's like, what do I say to these girls? Like, I don't know. And they're like, tell them you're Tiger Woods.

I think you told me that story. Yeah, you love that story. It's hilarious. But he's like a dweeb. He's like a golf nerd. He's not like some cool dude. He just happens to be good at golf. Then he took that advice and took it.

He took it to the nth degree. He's like walking around the mall being like, hey, I'm Tiger Woods. I'm Tiger Woods here. Hey, I'm Tiger Woods. On the vacation thing, where did he tell this woman she was going? That's a good question.

All of it. Big vacation. We're going to Australia for a year. Also also we're going to somewhere that's hot then we're going to somewhere that's cold you're gonna want the coat yeah we're gonna be hiking you're gonna want every nightmare too is she's just like yeah i should still be allowed to live at the house like that's her thing she goes that's what she said she goes we had a an agreement where i could still live there regardless of our relationship status. Wait, so before, how did they make that agreement?

She says it's an oral agreement. So he's like, yeah, no, that didn't happen. Nice try. Oral agreement. Well, it's her whole thing. She goes, we had an oral agreement that I got to live at the house even if it didn't work out. He's not honoring it.

So based on the value of the rent of that house, she goes, I want $30 million. Because that would make me whole, essentially. Make me whole. Yeah, well, basically. But when you're someone like Tiger Woods, this is what you probably have to deal with whenever a relationship blows up. Okay, but is the gist of it that she sort of said,

she got broken up with Tiger Woods. She's not taking it well She basically was telling him and if we break up I can still live here and he was like yeah sure yeah yeah That is a man who was trying to watch the golf and just wanted someone to shut up. Hey if we break up

can I still live here? Sure Yeah yeah the garage The fucking game is on wants to shut up hey if we break up can i still live here sure yeah yeah the garage yeah yeah the fucking game is on like when you shut up that does sound a little bit like that yeah you're right though but like that there is that where it is probably somewhat difficult to date at that level for sure i mean she had to sign her whole thing and she's trying to like break her nda right now she's in court because he made her sign like a pretty like bulletproof nda that says you can't talk about any of this stuff in our relationship can't post pictures nothing such as and she's trying to right now say like hey

what am i allowed to like talk about and they're like nothing have you ever considered giving a girl your girl an nda uh no i'd imagine it might happen the other way around. She'd give you one. She'd be like, you can't talk about this on stage. So whenever I start dating someone, I always do say I will talk about my life, including a relationship. If that's ever going to make you uncomfortable, we can't see each other.

I have said that to pretty much every girl I've ended up in a relationship. Did any of them say no? No. But you can tell sometimes they're a bit like, can we have a line? like i've got a girlfriend now and she's all she said is i can't go into details about our sex life yeah especially on like our podcast because like her family and friends have started listening to it because it's like they've got oh she's dating this comic and he does this thing i'm gonna start let's do it she's like so you can't be like going into details of what we've done because do you do that anyway i feel like that's more of like a girl podcast thing to

be like the very specific gruesome details of your sex life is more of a girl podcast thing yeah yeah we don't go gruesome on ours but in the past i have sort of what what i will do is i will mention things about people from the past without names it's and less about like your girlfriend you know what I mean yeah if you're like oh this story about this like chick but not like

yeah yeah yeah I'm going hey you know the girl you've all met and shook hands with it's almost like on the cheek it's almost weird

when a guy's too like telling you about his sex life with his girlfriend you're like okay she's like yeah I was banging this girl like just a hoe

or your wife my wife yeah i'm good on this story thanks i've got to look her in the eye tomorrow well so basically when that happened they were kind of going back in all his dating history and everything's like just coming out so like all of the stuff that he did do was like basically they said it was like over a hundred women that he banged back in the day and all that stuff's been like super talked about but i don't think that number's that high for tiger woods doesn't seem that high that is there's it's way higher than that you're right that's the one i know open micers are at a hundred yeah that's that's and then two of the ex so one

of the exes and that this new one are talking on twitter saying they're gonna start a podcast but like they're saying we have ndas but if they get lifted we'll do a podcast really yeah basically the hugh hefner thing where they the ex girls start a podcast about you dude can you think of anything worse than your two exes having a podcast about you dude i remember when i was like oh no i remember like in when i was in toronto a ex of mine and then a girl that i dated like way before her and i was like i was talking to one of them still but the other one was like pretty in the past and they were at a bar and they posted a story with the two of them together and someone sent it to me and i remember just my heart it's just like everything went like i was like how do i stop this it's like this needs to end what are you what is going on right now i'm trying to call the

call calling like a fire threat at the bar do you talk about like exes on stage or anything like that without without details you know a lot of times it's more like see i i don't um more so i have a point that like if i'm talking about something that my ex did it's often something that like all girls do so it's like if it's like some specific you know that thing that sometimes comedians will do where i'll be like this crazy guy did this crazy thing like isn't that crazy and you're like I guess I don't know you know what I mean yeah so it's more so if my ex did something that was like you know something like for example I had a joke about my ex being like well you don't know what it's like to be like a man and walk home and feel unsafe or whatever and I was talking about like

you think I've not felt unsafe walking through an alley like I'm always unsafe but of course the guys felt whatever right but it's like that wasn't like her saying that. That was her saying a thing that other girls also say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm probably more likely to do that. Yeah. I suppose I'm quite the opposite. Yeah, you have some, definitely some stuff.

Well, I told you before, like the special I put out last month. Yeah, which by the way, check it out. Very cool. Thank you very much. It's one story. It's called Juicy. And for legal reasons, I've got to say it was inspired by real life events and is a work of fiction yeah do you want to tell the short version of it so this is my third time in new york the last time i was here was uh january of 2022 and on the first night of that trip i found out my girlfriend was stealing from me like she was using me bank card

behind me back and buying herself things that that's called stealing in england yeah oh that's how that's how it's called having a girlfriend potato potato oh i've definitely had those times where i'm like oh that's weird that i just ordered uber eats when i'm in arkansas no but like it was on top of the agreed thing. Like she was like embezzling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is like embezzlement. How long had you been,

had some cash at this point? Like fresh or was it kind of a little more into it? I had a little bit when we started seeing each other and then I was doing all right. Okay. Once this started to happen. Yeah. It was. How did you find out when you, and how did you find out when you were? in each other and then uh i i was doing all right okay once this started to happen yeah yeah it was and how did you find out when you and how did you find out when you were uh i checked me a banking

app and there was a pending payment that i didn't recognize and i was like that's weird i don't shop there and she panicked and she goes that's that's weird that's weird that that, that, that, and made a load of, you called her, and like caught her off guard, with it, no she was with me, yeah okay, she sat right in front of me,

so I was like, that's weird, and she panicked, and I, because of how she reacted, I went, oh, and then we had a big argument,

and I won't ruin it, in case people are going to watch it, of course, yeah, the extent of it, which became apparent, over a period of time, it's,

it was absolutely insane insane how much was the total value you think i can't tell you it's too high no no you don't know so i i've signed a legal document that certain details won't be disclosed you're gonna make your money back one way uh yeah the special is called juicy it's on youtube on a your money back one way or another. Yeah, the special's called Juicy. It's on YouTube on our podcast. That is super funny what you said too because you were here doing like podcasts and she was with you and you were just like trying to be funny and stuff

and you're like this little snake sitting in the room. Like I'm doing a podcast with the two co-hosts that were and she's there like in periphery. Why did you just send her back? More money, huh? It's just a flight change at that point.

You're like, yes, I will pay the $100 change for you. I wanted to try and sort of enjoy New York and enjoy the things we... Like, I had two tickets to a Knicks game, two tickets to a Broadway show. Right. So I just was like, do like you know what let's try and i was also here for me 30th birthday yeah yeah it was a fucking playing crash of a trip um and i'm just glad that the special has been as well received as it has because people seem to really love it and it's just one of those things

i like that you kept in uh saying that like we're not going to use this show and then use it that's no that's not the one we used so that was a clip yeah that was a clip that went out but that's not the the the show we use oh never mind okay so we filmed it four times we did two nights in glasgow in scotland and and we did two Saturday, two Sunday. That was from the extra footage. That's from the extra footage. It was just like, we might as well put it out. That was cool.

Because it's not going to be in the show, yeah. Oh, shit. I do sort of agree with Danny, though, that there's like a level of like, especially if you've got cast, there's like a, it's like, you know the, I guess it's when they say that like if you run a restaurant, like there's a bit of leakage yeah for sure there's an expected amount of leakage yeah that's just like part of the deal is like your poison there's gonna be some

theft i just i i i just don't mind someone using stuff as long as they go hey i'm using how did you get your card like because I was so liberal with like, oh, we're going to Scotland for the weekend and you want to book the spa. Here's my thing. Here's the thing, book it. And then it's saved on your iPhone. Yeah, but it's such a crazy kind of scam

because you can't really get away with it very good. She was banking on the fact that I don't check. Don't check. I don't check. And would never. You had to check for a month. Yeah, eventually you're going't check. And would never. You had to check for a month. Yeah. And would never ever check.

You don't do taxes? Like, what is... There's an argument it's self-sabotage and it's just... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or she... Wanted to be caught. Yeah, or just, like, thinks you will just let it go. Did she give you the, like, what took you so long?

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Girls, I'll tell you what. Actually, I just wanted to bring up one funny thing that I saw. You know Jordan Peterson, right? So I love him having Twitter. One of the funniest things of all time. So he has twitter right and there's this video that i saw and people were like this is what's happening in china and it was a bunch of guys they were like strapped to beds and they had like machines that were milking

their dicks and it was like to harvest sperm and basically and they were like this is what's happening in china but it's obviously like i was like this is from a porn and then Jordan Peterson tweeted at me and like this is what's happening in China he's like what is this a three child policy now or something

that's what he's I was talking about this with Colm earlier Jordan Peterson is such a funny example of what can happen when you just go mad

in the public eye because when he first came like out as like the guy like his first thing was a british interview on channel four with kathy newman and she's just the way you're saying yeah so i think what you're saying is and he's going no no he's so right down the line really clear and knows exactly what he's talking about on really complex issues and makes it look like a fucking arsehole and now he's like what do you mean you what do you mean me what do you mean

door it's like we all know what those words mean jordan a part of me feels like there's uh that like there's that but like a part of me feels like old people can't just use twitter like some of it's too because honestly if you listen to him on like a long of me feels like old people can't just use Twitter. Like some of it's too, because honestly, if you listen to him on like a long interview, it's not that crazy. It's like, it's just, yo,

it's like anyone over 50 can't use Twitter. And he, Elon screwed him too. Cause he was kicked off of Twitter. Elon came back and bought it. All right, you're back on when he said that he was never coming back. There was another one that everyone's treating,

you know, uh, there was, uh, uh, that I think it's a person like that uh streamer named shoe or whatever and basically she she like uh there was a photo of her and then a photo of like her again and it was like this is person's transition it was a detransitioning thing but it was like not at all

well actually that was my favorite thing i've seen recently was uh because i always said the trans stuff probably the worst thing the worst person that of all the people that talk about trans stuff the worst person that it's for is women who are look manly you know what i mean and recently people have been posting all these photos and videos of like women ufcs that are just kind of manly and being like this is what happens when you let men in the u.s well there was because no you know what it was there was they have to keep coming up being like i'm actually there was a mixed there was a mixed weight or like a no weight class female ufc fight it wasn't like in the actual ufc but it was like a mixed martial arts and so this huge woman is just

beating the shit out of this little woman and the the people are like, you like this? See what this is? A trans woman is fighting. Is this what we like? And then everybody was like, yeah, that's an actual woman. That is a biological woman. They just chose to fight in no weight class. It started with the sprinter, didn't it?

Casta Samania. Do you remember her? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Casta Samania. But she was actually a woman. That is actually a woman. But then everyone just took a look at her And was like

No Well she was Her thing was She was I guess intersex So she looked like a woman But because she was intersex Her testosterone was above Yeah

The allowable limits Okay For being a female So her thing was pretty fucked up actually Because she was so dominant And then they're like You have to take hormones To bring your testosterone down But she's like i'm just a woman yeah this is how i with high testosterone and they said that's not fair but the greatest thing about that was that

her name is an anagram of yes a secret man who figured that out who the hell figured that out really hold on it really is yes I can't imagine secret man

so what was her name Casta Samania Casta yeah I don't know if you want to do this right now right Samania secret man

okay I can't I can't figure it out I can't figure it out it is true i promise you i'm loving that though it's so funny um okay so there was like there was basically like a crazy amount of stories this week about like i don't know if this does this happen a lot in um britain that there's basically like a lot of like female teachers they get busted like having sex with the 13 year old male students and stuff like that uh i wish there'd be more yeah no i i think that we we often just get your news about that

yeah occasionally i don't know what it is one of them is from the the prison though no that was australia no that was oh okay yeah there's the honestly this week i've never seen so many but the first one that i like because it was sort of a sports related episode just the coach making the girls looked it's a very sports related but there was um so okay so this was at harvard and basically the woman's ice hockey teacher with hazing allegations so did you play sports growing up yeah football did woman's ice hockey teacher with hazing allegations. So did you play sports growing up? Yeah, football.

Did you ever have to do hazing stuff? Or is that like American frat shit? What do you mean hazing? Okay, so hazing is like initiation. Oh, no, not really. You don't like have, that's not like a cliche there? No. So like, because everyone's the same.

Hazing from what my understanding is From like movies and stuff Is Is a new kid Going into the team Yeah But like Young guys

Where I'm from Like The teams are aged That's true So if you're 15 You play At under 16 level And once you're 16

You play at under 17 level Yeah So you grow up with You would never be the new kid In the team No but you'd be on that level Like say you're the highest up with, you would never be the new kid in the team. No, but you'd be on that level. Like say you're the highest level,

the new guys, the new guy that just played on that high level for the first time maybe or something like that. But then you go into college. You move with your year group. Well, a lot of this shit's college oriented, but well, yeah, I see what you're saying. And I think that maybe that is why that I never saw it

because I used to always hear about it playing hockey. You'd be like, oh, there's the team that they all had to fucking jizz on the cookie and then someone had to eat the cookie. And then there's the other, the big one that I used to always hear about it playing hockey you'd be like oh there's the team that they all had to fucking jizz on the cookie and then someone had to eat the cookie and then they're the other the big one that i used to always hear was that they would tie a rope around the deck with the pucks yeah you've never heard any of this stuff so i don't know the jizz on the cookie thing is because that's called soggy biscuit soggy biscuit in in the UK. It's called that here too. Is it? Yeah, yeah. Actually, it shouldn't be. Yeah, you're right.

Yeah, the game is the last person to come has to eat the biscuit. So you have a room of like 10 men or boys masturbating. Me and nine boys. Me and nine of my students. Yeah, last one to call me It's the biscuit Yeah and the other one was They basically would tie A string around the guy's dick

And then it would go to a bucket And the bucket would be empty And then everyone would be Shooting pucks in the bucket Weighing the bucket down And weighing your dick down This is like So all the wives tales

To be honest I remember thinking Like I hope I don't have to do that The soggy biscuit one Is like the only I I still have always been like, do you know anybody who's ever done the closest is like our friend JJ says, he says, but I don't know if I could be lying. Yeah. Well, this teacher, she's a woman's teacher and basically got busted.

Um, what she was like a lesbian coach, I think. And then she had basically, she had a pretty good racket. She was like 56 years old and she made the kids, the college kids, which were underage, but underage, they mean college kids.

Yeah, so underage for America where they can't drink because they're 21. Yeah, but they basically had to skate around naked. And then also, she was making them do like fucking bananas

and condoms and all sorts of stuff. And she had this racket going for like a good like 20 years before she got busted yeah yeah yeah she kind of reminds me of a female mike babcock what's that one he used to be the maple leaves coach and he kind of was like a huge dick he wasn't hazing people but he was like the biggest dickhead what kind of stuff would he do he well this is the biggest one so jay this guy Jason Spezza, who was in the NHL forever, and he had an Ironman or a long playing streak going,

and then his first game on the Maple Leafs, he scratched him. Healthy scratched him. Okay. To ruin his streak or whatever. Everybody hated him. Piece of shit. And then basically what happened with this person is, I think around 2016 when stuff started to get like heating

up she's sort of gotten the crossfires when basically the harvard athletes uh they ranked last in satisfaction and then basically uh people started having mental health issues and coming and then going to the there started being like because before she basically was going to the people being like there's nothing in this dressing room we won't know about but yeah so she's sort of done but yeah well that's sort of done but well that's that's hazing you can't do that anymore hazing became really not cool

like really fast yeah like it was like just like this they're like you can't do this anymore well yeah because it's one of those things

where you like if you're new you get told oh this is what we do and because you want to fit in you're like okay cool I guess and it only takes

one person to go you know none of you should have ever had to do this and everyone goes I had a biscuit. You're like, in the biscuit in your mouth? Sure.

What? We're ending this right now? The frat and sorority stuff is nuts. Well, it's like they were doing it for the sorority stuff. They're like, yeah, we've been doing this for 50 years. And then just like one year, they're like, okay, we're not. It's retroactively not okay. It's funnier when a girl does it i guess who is the main guy that the main like the like pedophile coach

sandusky sandusky who's isn't there a big like or i guess if in the where you're from it's more the priest but is there is there a big like pedophile coach not a coach there was a tv presenter called uh jimmy savel yeah, Jimmy Savile. What's his deal? He was like a kid's show, right? Was he gay? He was indiscriminate. Okay, yeah, yeah. He'd fuck anything that was young enough.

He looked insane. He looked disgusting. Like if an alien came to Earth and you described a pedophile to it and Jimmy Savile was in the same room, it would go, there's one. And he hid so in plain sight. Like a lot of people knew about it.

Yeah, like everybody at the BBC like knew he was just like a pedophile, right? It's one thing, yeah, people being like, oh, I know this guy's like, just like a hound. But it's another thing being like, I know he's having sex with kids.

Yeah. Yeah, they did. Like that's like almost like, you're he's having sex with kids. Yeah, they did. That's like almost like, you're just as bad. He ran children's charities just so he could fuck the kids.

I mean, I think there's a lot of that, right? He would go to children's hospitals and just be like, giving the kids to the ward

and he's fucking ill kid. The cancer ward. Yeah. Genuinely, he was like the worst of the worst of the worst.

And he didn't go to jail. He died, right? Yeah, he died and this came out like came out publicly after that's so insane people at the BBC he had the

I think I remember this guy he was a sir he was sir Jimmy Savile he was given a knighthood by the queen and then when he finally died people came out is the reason

because they couldn't come out before because like it just there was a big like documentary when did he die I want to say

was it like the day after Harvey Weinstein where he goes, you know what? Just like, I'm not going to hang on any longer. Lost his will to live. 2015 hit that guy hard, probably. He's a disgusting cunt. He's so, I mean, he's like the hack punchline of all the shit comics in the UK. Okay.

Yeah. There's no shortage of it. I remember, that's why I always say that, like, there was one time when I was like, saying a girl's like, oh yeah,

she's like 25, stone, and then I like mentioned my friend who's British, and I'm like, everyone says this, don't they? The minute I said it, I was just like,

this is something that has been said at every British comic, hasn't it? Yeah, there's a few like, hack punchline people, and like, Joseph Fritzl was just a, Who like hack punchline people and like Joseph Fritzl was just a...

Who's that? Do you know who Joseph Fritzl is? No. So he had two daughters and he locked them in a basement for their entire lives

and fucked them like every day. Where was the mom? She was like just like on down with it. She had dinner. She's cooking upstairs.

This guy was a comic. No. No, he's just a bad guy. I've never seen this guy's act i think he was austrian yeah um uh he's like another hack punchline guy he's just yeah yeah yeah i mean that was the catholic priest stuff that got that's always thinking like do you know um like right-wing people their whole thing right now is like, kind of like, like everyone's a pedophile sort of thing. And, but like forever it was that Christians, like in Catholics were pedophiles. Right.

Yeah. So it's like, I was kind of, I don't know if anyone's noticed this, but that's what I was thinking last night. I was like, Oh, everyone's calling everyone a pedophile because even online,

it's like, yeah, you're, well, your priests are pedophiles. It's like, well, you're doing these drag shows.

So everyone's like a pedophile. Right. But it's almost like the drag show stuff. They need to get to the point where it's like yeah you're well your priests are pedophiles it's like well you're doing these drag shows so everyone's like a pedophile right but it's almost like the drag show stuff they need to get to the point where it's hack you know what i mean like they need to make it hack i mean i've seen some drag shows it's hack uh i've been it's pretty accurate but they need to get to the point where someone goes oh like you know like a ben shapiro comes out and goes like you know these these people i'm doing the drag shows for kids and we go oh another person talking about you yeah yeah it needs to get boring yeah it is weird though the people on the right basically became like it was like the left-wing

people were free speech people and the right-wing people were like anti-free speech and the pedophiles and then it kind of like switched it switches all the time yeah but it's like a full you guys did a sketch about this the racist woke woke thing. It's that all the time. Everything's a fucking cartoon. Anyone, it's not, because people think like the spectrum is like a straight line and there's left and right. It's actually a circle. And extreme left and right are both here

and then the middle's up there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the further away they get from the middle, the closer they get together. It's almost like sometimes with that stuff, it's like people make it political, but you're just like, yeah, people like to form groups and then try to control other groups. It's almost like, with that stuff, it's like people make it political, but you're just like, yeah, people like to form groups and then try to control other groups.

It's almost like, you know what I mean? It's just like the same thing as a librarian or whatever. It's like you give these little groups their power and then they want to start telling people what to do. And it's like, so you go, whenever you look at it, you go, oh, this group's not really telling people what to do. It's like, yeah, because they can't because no one listens to them right now.

As soon as they start, as soon as people start to listen to to them again as soon as anyone has got any sort of power to they just everyone abuses it if you give someone a high visit like a concert you talking to yeah there was one thing that was making me laugh though a lot is that so so i can't remember who it was alex byron i was just in calgary this weekend he he uh he showed me this there was like some right-wing guy that had his merch that was like mugs that say stop sexualizing kids and but it's like just loving the idea of like who's buying that's a comics merch no it was like a right-wing guy but like just the idea of like going to work

and like putting it on your desk i mean it's such a weird thing and then staring at like someone else like just so you know like no sexualizing kids going on well it's like

you're like who would be against that but then it's just so like nobody's like what are you got a problem with it yeah some stuff is just

better on set yeah it's like we can we have a consensus I think well the problem is I guess is I think we thought we had some sort of consensus and then there, well, it's very... It's like we have a consensus. Well, the problem is, I guess, is I think we thought we had some sort of consensus and then there's like not.

It's the version of the, you know, the punk thing where it's like the swastika crossed out. Yeah. You know what I mean? Which is always like, I mean, that's kind of like a hack joke, but it is really like, you know, just like a photo of a black guy getting lynched, but it's crossed out.

Like, just so you know, I don't like this, right? But that's the pedophiles. Like, it's one step away from having like a kid getting molested like a guy taking like nude photos of jobs like just so you know this is that we don't like child see the line there is a day where you've washed that shirt too many times and it's all of a sudden got the opposite message. Yeah, yeah. It's just like a guy beating his wife.

You're like, no, are you idiot? It's just circled. Yeah, it's just circled. The line's just eroded. Oh, we were dying thinking about that. She's like, bring in your mug, putting it down, then staring at one of the guys Just so you know If you want to sexualize kids

It's going to be happening over there Not in this area That guy You know what that's a good mug for Is you go to like Starbucks And you go Yeah I brought my own mug From home

Fill it up Like stop sexualizing kids Tumblr Fill it up Yeah yeah yeah Just the whole gear. I'm like the hat thing. This guy hates sexualizing kids.

Nothing he hates more. Okay. So this is then the other one. There was basically Colorado woman having sex with 13 year old. And then she's basically having the guy's kid. And then 18. This is probably more. This is the one you're right.

It was in the UK. Yeah. and then 18 this is probably more this is the one you're right it was in the UK 18 female guards were fired

and they resigned from a very cushy UK prison so I guess like a rich prison for having hookups with inmates it's crazy did you not hear

about this story then no okay you come over here and you don't pay attention I'm like that with Canada it's in Wales so maybe that's why you didn't

do you know a lot about what's going on in Wales I mean Wales like they won't forgive me for saying this but like it's such a small country it's tiny so it's like we do i've been doing a joke about tommy cooper actually you know that guy is yeah he had a heart attack and died on stage yeah yeah what's the joke just let me die because there's so many people having heart attacks right now and then my fear is that i'll have a heart attack

because when he's having the heart attack on stage everybody's like laughing they think it's like the funniest thing that's a fear of yours now myocarditis there you go and youtube just put that right there thanks there was another comic a uk like say a comic who had the same thing happen had a heart attack on stage yeah his name his name was Ian Cognito. That was his stage name. Oh, crappy stage name. He was fucking... Ian Cognito's great. He was like a circuit legend in the UK where when he died, every comic had a story about him,

like something he'd done or something they'd seen him do. He was like... Like what kind of stuff did he do? So he used to open his set by walking on stage, hammering a nail into the wall and then hanging his coat on it.

Yeah, that must have loved him at the clubs the clubs well he got banned from a lot of clubs because he was just fucking around like i the last time i ever seen him he was at a club in liverpool called baby blue and uh piss quick i think i've heard of this guy yeah he died fairly recently a couple of years ago yeah yeah he has like really wacky hair like he had like really long hair yeah that's right yeah yeah yeah i know yeah he went on stage and are we still going or jude yeah yeah we're still going yeah yeah he went on stage in live when i seen him and he asked the guy on the front row can i have a drink out of your pint yeah and the guy said no so ian took his cock out put it in the guy's pipe and swished it around put it back and then said how about now that's like so crazy that is like something where

there was like this overlap where this guy's like yeah in the 80s this was probably like murdering sticking your dick in uh someone's beer and then they're like yeah it's not really acceptable anymore how about now that was the big closer that was the big closer dick in the beer that was this guy is incogn it was Ian Cognito. He asked the guy, could he have a drink of his pint? And the guy said no, so he put his dick in it and said, how about now? How about now? I love this guy.

So that's the kind of stories that he had kicking around about him. Okay, so Ian Cognito. And then, so basically, and that guy was from Wales, is that what you're saying? No, he was from the UK. I only brought him up because he also died on stage. He had a heart attack on stage. By the way, not No Laughing Matter. Hey, no better place to go, eh, boys?

Iacogmito dies on stage. The BBC managed to hold off on saying it was No Laughing Matter. Oh, we're saying that every article about comedy always says it's No Laughing Matter? Yeah. They fucking do. There was a montage once, and it was like 75 articles and things that weren't a laughing matter i i could see juicy being like you know the but but you getting the robbed was no laughing

matter spend an hour joking about it there's no love of mother that is i i like i'm pretty into like i love of i don't follow that many but i do love when a good like jail tiktok comes up and it's like it really is exposing like dude i see it pretty often where like a jail tiktok comes up and the guy's like hey here's my like big screen tv here's my this like here's my cooking station like here's my ps5 like yeah they have all sorts and then some of them like yeah i guess it depends where you go because Because this one in Wales, it's like, it looks like what you would expect when they talk about, like, you know, club fed or whatever. Like, there's no bars. It all, like, it's brand new.

Like, it looks like a high school. Like, a new high school was built or something. Well, that's a good place to send all these pedophile teachers. Yeah, but the thing is, they had all these hot chicks working at them. And then they fired 18 of them for having sex with 18 female guards. And you see the photos. That's like a big percentage of guards

are like banging. These are all like mug shotties. But if you're a woman who's into bad guys, why would you not get that job? Do you think that's what happens? Oh, you think that's... Yeah, I think they're like, I like a bad boy

and I might just go to prison and just fuck all of them. Yeah. Like I would. Yeah, I guess that's kind of boy, and I might as well just go to prison and just fuck all of them. Yeah. Like I would. Yeah, I guess that's kind of a good deal. And then you just go home. I just didn't. Well, first of all, it's weird because I was picturing like, okay, I can see how like gang leader.

Like if you're a fucking gangster or something like that or a mafia guy, like those guys are probably pretty good with women. You know what I mean? They've all been like, you know, womanizers to some degree. degree so they have all the moves they know how to seduce a guard or whatever and they also like kind of have money on the outside but this is like hot like white collar almost yeah but it wasn't so it's like this is like some nerd guy that got like some bank fraud guy but it's not they said one of them was a drug dealer one of them was a guy one of them a guy who like killed someone in a car but like the chicks are like sort of good to know though that you can go to jail and be like cruising like that yeah i also don't know why they've been fired like what have they actually

done wrong sure like like genuinely what who are they hating yeah i mean i'm with you they're getting fucked like why it's probably more they're just like Yeah it's still Kind of supposed to be Prison for them Can't be fucking me They should be having Sex with other inmates That are men I wonder if there's

Any guys that like Are the male guards That was like Come on I got a little treat For you ladies And the girls are like We're not interested

Yeah yeah The guy thought Like he thought Yeah for sure The guys are like Dude these chicks Don't bang anybody And then they're

Trying to get in And they're like Oh The male guard That goes to the female guards being like listen i guess you heard that uh some of us guards are putting out it's your lucky day and the girls like get away from us you know i'm a bit of a bad boy myself i really didn't realize that this that you can it was that easy to get fucking snizz if you're in jail I don't think it is 18 on the market

in one prison one yeah it's crazy 18 female guards in one prison also what prison has 18 female guards

this one the best damn prison in the world that's which one imagine finding out you were getting sent there

or sent to use the life but you're going to the pussy prison. I won't appeal as long as you send me to that one. That's the top lawyer that knows how to get you into that prison. They got laptops, TVs. They got all this stuff. Lap dances.

They have state-of-the-art sports facility. So they're cruising at this prison. Sports facility. Yeah, it did seem like their life is very cushy. all this stuff lap dances they have state of the art sports facility so they're cruising to this prison sports facility yeah it did seem like their life is very cushy like you're basically just playing

you wake up play intramural baseball like you know what I mean play poker for a while yeah it seems pretty good yeah cruising on that life yeah the other funny one

that was making me laugh was uh cause there's there's basically like all these women that I actually was doing a joke about it like a while ago but there's a couple of them popped up but there's like basically like all these women that I actually was doing a joke about it like a while ago, but there's a couple of them popped up,

but there's like a lot of these women that have basically, they handled guys with disabilities and they started doing, they started offering a service pretty publicly. It used to be like more black market where basically it'll be a girl be like, yeah, I'll take your like disabled son or whatever

who can't move and then come like jack them off. And like they basically made this video about it. And I was watching it. And all the guys are like, it's pretty wild. She has it on her website. And it's these guys that are like, her name's like Susan, Sue Newsome. And she basically has these guys that are like the breathing tube. And legitimately, the guys are like, we like her coming.

It's like, dude. Wait, is she the one doing it yeah who knew so oh i thought she was like arranging it oh so you're doing the jacket west she's older too yeah but it is always makes me laugh the idea of like imagine because she's sort of doing a press tour of like what a nice person she is but it just makes me laugh imagine like the 60 year old guy they'd be like i'm just fingering all these girls that can't move but the fact that they showed all the guys that were getting service they showed the disabled johns their mom pays for them which like i guess is there is nothing really wrong with it no there's nothing wrong yeah but it's like

why am I hearing about it where did you hear I feel like by the way where did you hear about this it went viral and then people in our

in the discord sent it to me there's like all these videos but like Ryan's ordering himself a wheelchair a wheelchair and a bell. She's going to be like,

Salamanca. Just fucking dinging away. The phony. The guy orders the fake scooter, comes in. She realizes the mouth tube's not attached to anything. No, after she finishes he gets up

and walks off can you imagine well Sue you do good work anyway see you next week she's like what

getting up and walking off old Kaiser Sosa yeah my assistant's gonna come pick up the chair he does a Kaiser Sosa pick up the chair yeah because he has the breathing to and halfway through he's like yeah slower she goes why are you talking

she's in the UK actually I told you I was trying to get to the UK The other one is getting the chair I'm not getting the chair You're getting the chair Gonna take another quick second here To tell you about our Patreon This is valuable ad space We are removing from the normal program To tell you about

What we've been going on the Patreon Right now every week we do an additional episode, especially when we do guest episodes. You got your classic Ryan and Danny episode, banger articles, banger Reddits. Feet pics. Feet pics. There's the discord that everyone's talking. We're doing Q&As. Every time we do guests, like today, we do polls where everyone can ask questions.

Surprise streams. Surprise live streams. Surprise streams because me and Danny meet up once a week to do podcast stuff and we do surprise streams. We're going to be doing surprise Q&As and we are also about 40 patrons away from doing our first reality show, which is the Bugman vs. Bugman, which is a manliness competition with me and Danny,

which will be starting at 2000, which we have never been closer to. show which is the bug man versus bug man which is a manliness competition with me and danny which will be starting at 2000 which we are just never been closer to no patreon.com slash the boys cast support the boys so and also we use that money to do all sorts of things and we're flying around for some guests coming up we are patreon.com slash the boys cast sign it up i saw the one thing that someone sent me is that, you know, like guys that are into semen retention? What? Do you know what that is?

No. So basically it was kind of popping off. It's basically like... Starting with like Muhammad Ali. He was like the OG guy. And the idea is if you prevent yourself from coming, that you like retain all these powers. And they're saying clarity of mind no

mental clutter better stamina power in the gym no depression better term memory and all the hair grows thicker it says there's no way it seems like the opposite not coming gives you clarity yeah that was the real clarity is a thing isn't't it? Yeah. There's no way. But I guess Muhammad Ali, his whole thing was like two weeks before a fight. But I thought it was like to make him angrier. That was like a caged animal. I thought it was like to piss him off more, not to make him more clear in his mind. Sometimes I finish like jerking off to a porn video and I have to put my phone in another room for a bit.

I can't believe I was enjoying that. I will say, do you live with your girl? No. Okay. I will say that like the, uh, the like don't jerk off movement I feel like has been really popping off online lately. No fap. It has.

I feel like three years, three, I feel like I never heard about it for my entire life. And in the last three or four years, I've been hearing about like a lot. It's like kind of popping off. I don't know. Do you find that? Yeah. It's just fucking stupid.

It started with no, not November, didn't it? Cause they were like, no, not November. Like I get that. It was kind of funny almost.

Yeah. It's like like kind of like, I can't tell what element. And you were sort of like, I think November, November, you're supposed to like raise money for prostate cancer or something. It was almost like a joke. No, that was Movember.

Okay. So I don't know. Movember was for prostate cancer. No, not November. I mean, some of the NoFap people are like, yeah, this is like, porn's like ruining my life. Yeah. But then I think some people are just, they do it as like a discipline. I don't know.

People, a lot of people. Okay. But here's my question. Okay. So I guess there is that for addiction but if porn was ruining your life and you stopped it that would probably be ruining your life too the constantly wanting to would be also ruining your life yeah but i guess they they see it as like oh this is you know they see it as heroin i think that there's no win though you know how you're like an it's like this tiger woods with the sex addict yeah you're just you know what you mean you're like i have a wife even if you're like it's like this Tiger Woods with the sex addict yeah you're just you know what I mean you're like

I have a wife even if you're not doing it you're just like I'm still an addict I'll not what do they say like I'm an addict has never recovered

an addict has never recovered you like that's it's funny though like of the being the sex addict and being with your like wife

and you're getting like the different rings the chips you're getting the chips she's like what's that it's like two weeks strong this is my one year chip you're like you haven't rubbed around in a year no that's you banging other girls i guess oh that's for the sex addicts they probably do get that but you are like tiger woods there's no scenario where tiger woods is like

cured it was like you know even if he's like okay i'm not banging other girls he's still like probably not helping too he's a pro athlete so he's getting testosterone boost and like he's like okay i'm not banging other girls he's still like probably not helping too he's a pro athlete so he's getting testosterone boost and like he's probably on trt and all this stuff that's like even if it was kind of waning then that brings it all back that's like such a good point that i didn't even think about yeah because even when i'm like working out i feel like i've got a little more drive in yeah it's the test you know. Yeah, it's tough for time. But I think the semen retention stuff's like a total load of shit. Could be. I don't know, so. Do you know,

okay, actually, there's one, this is someone sent, it's like a boys question that we do. First, I want to ask you about this joke thing after, but there's this woman who walked out of a date with this guy

and went viral on TikTok, basically, because this dude wouldn't pay $3 for the extra cheese. I love this guy. Honestly, this guy's in New York. I was reading this. We got to get him on the show. So basically, the girl being like, I knew he was cheap because he asked for the extra cheese.

It was $3. He said he wouldn't pay it. Then it kind of went viral. And then basically, most people were on the dude's side. Like the tides turned. And then the guy made basically most people were on the dude's side. Like the tides turn and then the guy made a video of himself eating the cheese or whatever.

So it's total like W for dudes. Big gun. But the question is more like would you have the guts on like a first date to ask for something and then them tell you the price and then say no?

I would not ask how much the cheese is. They could honestly like tell me any price. Yeah yeah like that could be like a racket that women and restaurants could set up where they're like bring first dates here and like oh we've changed the menu today and it's now like 400 per person i'd be like is it really oh all right enjoy this love because i'm the exact same way once i've asked i would like you as soon as you ask you like what are you doing

no way I mean yeah it was not like the best move on his part to be like how much they go

do you want cheese and he goes how much is that extra and they go three dollars and he goes I think I'm good

I feel like being a cheap but I also agree I go three dollars for a slice of cheese of course it is too much but New York City well New York yeah the price are crazy that's why being like a cheap guy takes a bit of like i don't know if you've ever been a cheap guy like that dating but like it almost takes you got a

plan you know the places you're going and you have to be like oh we'll pop over here like oh did it happen to be half price today like you have to you know i do the one up they go do you uh want a slice of cheese on your burger i go way ahead of you got one brought one with me you guys i've got like an uncorking fee for cheese you go can you just throw that on there what's that like 50 cents uncorking fee i actually went to it was surprising i went to because there's this new comedy club that's byob here and then uh which comedy club the seventh street it's byob yeah you just bring your own like just people show up with packs of white claws and stuff and beers or whatever but then i went to a sushi restaurant in brooklyn yeah yeah and i and uh i went to a sushi restaurant and we went there and we would go can we get drinks and go we're byob i thought that would be like illegal i don't know

if they lost their license or what maybe not because you wouldn't be but then they're like yeah there's like a i just went to a bodega but it's like a nice sushi restaurant and they were like yeah we don't sell alcohol one thing that i do always remember about like when i went to uk like 10 years ago was your money's so much heavier that it does feel cooler buying a pint with coins and And they're giant. Like, you know what I mean? You feel like a miner almost. You know what I mean? You've got some... It does have a lot

more. What a heft. Actually, let's do a few more of these questions that everyone wanted to ask. Okay. People actually were asking a lot about your accent and then stupid soccer questions. Do you like Paddy Pimblitt? Yeah, he went to my school. Wait, what? He was three years below me in school, yeah. Oh, you grew up with him? Oh Paddy Pimblitt? Yeah, he went to my school. Wait, what? He was three years below me in school, yeah.

Oh, you grew up with him? Oh, you didn't know him? No, he's done our podcast a couple of times now. That's why. So he's like your body, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He seems like a pretty cool guy. He's dead sound.

He's just had some surgery. He can't fight for a while, but yeah. What's the stereotype where British people don't have good teeth or don't brush their teeth I don't know where it comes from but it is true right

well and yeah I don't like everyone just does seem to have like cracked smiles and stuff like I've got at the minute

I've got an Invisalign I've took it out for this because you told me so long I'd be spitting everywhere but yeah everyone's teeth are a little sort of

misshapen and stuff it's I don't know where it comes from. We do brush our fucking teeth. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's still a pretty modern society. How many times a day do British people brush? Twice.

Okay. Morning and night. Seems pretty normal. Yeah. I think it's like some of them are in the water, like they're not enough fluoride. I've got no idea where it comes from. But yeah, a lot of people get braces in the UK.

A lot of people were asking about your accent. People asking if your accent got in the way of you smashing chicks. I can't imagine in Liverpool. He's saying even it is though. In the UK, Liverpool is a very divisive city. Do you have like a low class accent? Do some people see it as that? Some people do, yeah.

So Liverpool is a proper working-class city where it's not seen as anyone's doing well there. It's like a hillbilly accent, sort of? No, not quite. That's more like the southwest of England, but it's just seen as working-class. I don't know if you know America, but maybe more like how people would like

from Boston or Philadelphia or something. Boston's better. That kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. More like a, I don't know if you know America, but maybe more like how people would like from Boston or Philadelphia or something. Boston's better. That kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's better for a guy than a girl probably too. Yeah, but it's very divisive. Liverpool is a city. People either love it and they're like, oh my God, I love the Scouse accent.

Or they just hate it. There's no one who's like, I could take it or leave it. It's sort of like an uppity thing to probably be against it, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the rest of England, Liverpool is seen as a bit of a republic within the country. Yeah. Like, Liverpool fans, like football fans, don't normally support the England national team. We just don't fucking care.

Have you ever seen? You guys don't? You're just like, fuck them? It's not like fuck them. It's just like, I don't care. Like, I want Liverpool... Like, Liverpool are playing right now, and it is itching me.

I mean, you were literally watching it as we were setting up. Seconds before we started. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were just like, how did it get on? But like, when England lose, I'm like, eh. Like in the World Cup, you're just like, whatever. Yeah.

Like the pubs in Liverpool are like, they're not like overflowing, or they are, but... No, they're not as busy for that as they would be for the Liverpool game. What? No. Is that who, like when you grew up, is your squad that you went to high school with, I guess,

or like college with, is that like soccer hooligan types? Not hooligans, no. That's a very sort of small group of people who like the sport. We just want to go to the pub and drink. So was your crew of people, did you hang out with just want to go to the pub and drink and yeah so was your was your crew of people like where did you hang out with like artist type people or like or just like blokes just like i i only hang out with artists like people now because of comedy but like they're just normal lads who've got like normal jobs and years and uh shit like that but

like okay i always say that like my high school was kind of more like a movie high school in a lot of ways that we really had like the italian kids were over here then there was like the the punk kids and there was like the rapper guy like it really was like that so it's also like a prison but then it to be honest it is like that's what people always say it's like uh sitting with the races prison that's why people when they're like a lot of the you know new like progressive stuff it's like people say like oh they're trying to get prison politics in real life but it was and then in america a lot of schools where they were just like there was like the athletes and then the outsiders like it was almost but like in your school was it less like groups like that yeah so like my school was a specialist sports college so like a lot of people who went there were like there's a lot of people who were in my year at school who went on to play football or soccer for like in the mls or lower leagues in

england um and then but there was no like jocks and then them there was there was the nerdy bullyable kids and then it were like the bottom 10 and then there was% of just all very similar people which I was in and then there was just the people who were really good at football at the very top the top 10% that's the most popular is like gets the most girls is like you're good at the best at sports what are the nerds at sports school like darts no no they what sports are they so they're not playing sports oh they're not but they're out of sports school it's it's called the specialist sports college because that sporty people go there, but there's also a lot of people

that are just... That is actually honestly a bucket list thing that I've always wanted to do is go see like darts. Yeah, darts is a fun day out. That's your bucket list, isn't it? No, it's like one...

No, no, no. It's like... It's one of them. It's among... Dude, you know what? I was like, I want to have a threesome with fucking six supermodels.

Danny's like, fly me to Liverpool to watch darts. Dude, you know what I watched back in like, I want to have a threesome with fucking six supermodels. And he's like, fly me to Liverpool to watch darts. Dude, you never watched a man back in the day that used to own TSN in Canada? No, I didn't.

The darts championship? Oh, it's crazy. It's in a giant beer hall or whatever. And the people who, first off, the guys who play, they're all just like alcoholics.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're just fat old men. They're like fat old men. That's cool He's like crazy like blue like Mohawks and shit and any one of them would have been a better lead for the whale And then people just got they'll throw the thing and the guys like 118 and then they go crazy. It's I don't know. Hey know. And everybody's smashed. It is a good day out. They're smashed like even in the championships?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? Yeah, yeah. They don't do it now because of like the whole alcohol and sport thing, but like up until about five or ten years ago, the people in the final would be like sipping pints in between darts. It's crazy. And they're in a beer hall and everybody's just like going nuts.

Is that because there's not really any money in it? Oh no, there is. No, there is. They're like famous. But you think if like so much money's on the line you wouldn't be drinking beer.

No, but a lot of these men are just better drunk. They're alcoholics so that's what keeps them shaking. Have you ever been like four pints in playing pool and you're like you just hit like a streak?

Yeah, but you think that like it's kind of one of those things when you're like first starting something like stand-up you might be like oh's kind of one of those things when you're like first starting something like stand up you might be like oh get rid of the nerves by having some drinks

but like hopefully when you're at like a higher level but they've just never not done it and there is comics that are like that they've just

like there's a lot of comics who like after a drink they're so much better and they don't know how to do it properly without it and these DOS players were those guys

they're probably just like you know it's like your hands don't shake quite as much especially if you like he said you've always played like that you know, it's like your hands don't shake quite as much. Especially if you, like he said, you've always played like that. John Daly always said, like John Daly the golfer was like, yeah, he's always drinking. What? Yeah.

Before, like, you know, he'd sneak them in. I definitely wouldn't be better at golf with a couple crinks in me. No, no, no, no. But once you're like, you know, on that super high level. And I mean, most players probably aren't. But yeah, the darts, I don't know. That shit was wild. Okay, apparently,

I actually don't know anything about this, but there is something that everyone said there was this big deal kind of in London called the Comedy Collective Facebook group. Do you know what that is? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was apparently, it was like a place for,

this person said it was a place for gig opportunities and comedy advice and then it became like this big like cultural thing where everyone was getting kicked out and fought do you know what I'm talking about?

someone told me to ask you about it oh it's I mean is it not that interesting? it's not really worth talking about but it's a Facebook group where what would happen was

occasionally someone would post oh there's a spot going tonight it's you know 50 pounds for 15 minutes does anyone want it and you get a load

of comments below but then it starts with anyone could join it so people who'd never stood on stage would join and be like I'm thinking of

starting comedy and I hate gays is that going to be a problem and then it would just be a billion comments this is actually

really against the community spirit of the comic and it would just cause mad arguments but then you would get more experienced comics who were bored like me for example just going in and just saying horrific stuff to wind everyone up and then you'd get like a load of people replying so you're going this is bang out of order and i'm like no i actually think that like we should exclude everyone of color

from comedy like it's not for them and it would just people would like wind people up people take it really seriously and it's just a cesspit of a Facebook group. Which is every comedy. Ours was the same sort of thing. Yeah, the same one, yeah. Well, did you know, okay, so in Sydney, there was this like,

speaking of kind of what we were talking about before, in Sydney, there was like this like gay dude and he did some joke about Jesus. And then Muslims and Christians got together and protested it recently. And he basically, it was like pretty kind of like, I guess. It's good to see religious people becoming dweebs again. They had their moment where they were kind of cool.

We go, yeah, they're like, yeah, free speech, anything goes. And then they're like, don't make fun of Jesus again. Well, that's what, before it kind of happens to me a lot where people, I'll say, I'll do like, I actually released one recently where it was like something about Christians and people were like, you wouldn't say that about Muslims. And I go, I do though. And then, you know what I mean? And there'll be like something about girls and they'll be like, you wouldn't say that

about this group. And I go, yeah, I do that. Oh yeah, Jews. They'll go, you said something about this. You go, you wouldn't say that about Jewish people. I go, I do though. And then it was like, no, you're not. You wouldn't say that about Jews.

He goes. Well, yeah, but it's kind of what the thing is it's like you're like well you know you're not really fighting something you're just like a guy that's like offended but that's so the reason i kind of wanted to ask you about it is because i feel like like there was other people that were saying like the uk is like the hub for craziness and then you kind of online were like it it's not that crazy. Like it's kind of being overblown. Oh, that was, I was talking about this with Colin as well when the guys from Trigonometry went on Joe Rogan.

Yeah, we had them here too, yeah. Yeah, but they're just lying. Like there's a lot of bollocks that was just spoused on that podcast. Like I didn't see them on this, but like the clips I was watching from Rogan where they're like, oh, if you do anything provocative on stage stage you get banned from all the comedy clubs

and it's like one club you know it's not even one club there's just there's a couple of venues that run in london and nowhere else like safe space comedy nights yeah which i actually think are a good thing because then it keeps all the fucking people who don't want anything provocative yeah going there and stay in yours area. And we'll have comedy clubs and they look at this one night or these two nights and go, oh, these safe space things are bad because I couldn't

play there. Then they'll whinge about like, oh, the comedy store don't book me. They think it's because they're edgy. It's actually because they're not good enough. Constantine, who... Or sometimes maybe just don't. A lot of times people times people, it's like, you don't even... You kind of, like, aren't doing stand-up as much. Like, you're not...

Like, a lot of times... Maybe you can tell me. Actually, you've, like, finished. Constantine was a newer actor who blew up quickly because he got on the news because he got booked to do a university campus and they made him sign a contract. But, like, he was a new comic.

He was a new comic he was a couple years in and he then because of the thing and he lent into the sort of right-wing rhetoric which led to trigonometry he's got like this big following now which means he never had chance to do the work in the clubs and become a really good comic because he got a fan base before he had any miles on stage so it's i'm not i'm not slagging him saying he's a terrible comic and he was always going to be he didn't have a chance to learn how to be good but now he's leaning into this oh i'm i'm banned from all the comedy clubs because i'm too edgy he isn't he just never got good enough to get past at them yeah that's what

happened and that's what and it annoys me because i like to be a bit provocative on stage and sort of you know that juicy is a bit different but with other stuff i will you know it's quite an americanized style of stand-up where it's here's the concept and here's the jokes and it's not necessarily a concept that the audience all agrees when you first say it but the jokes win them around you all have a nice time i get lumped in with right wing free speech comics because I'm joking about dodgy subjects and the American comedy circuit is a lot more willing to let comics do that than the UK is, there's not a lot of people doing

that yet over there it's becoming more and more like that because of the globalisation of comedy, Netflix and YouTube and podcasting has made everyone sort of share fan bases and share audiences and share styles but these people are like you can't do this in clubs or you get banned no you just have to be able to do it well and just go on stage and open them with a rape joke which isn't a good one we'll make 500 people go no

and that's what is annoying because i'm telling you i make a living but without even doing touring and selling my own tickets from comedy clubs booking me to do the type of material they're telling you that comedy comes ban you for i've i do know i do actually know what you mean because i've i've had that like i've gone especially doing stuff like i've go on a lot of podcasts where they'll be like oh you can't make jokes anymore and you're like well i do it four times a night in new york yeah like you know you're just kind of like like yeah you're you're but though i guess where i think there's two parts and this is why i'm like maybe i kind of see where they're coming from too like where i i sort of agree in the comedy clubs i've always said like yeah comedy

clubs most clubs like are owned by a guy that's cool they're not pussies but like the the the industry maybe it's like you're like yeah i can't get uh you know but like the, the, the industry, maybe it's like, you're like, yeah, I can't get, uh, you know, that like the, the idea of like becoming a comic and like being like an edgy comic and then that leads to this and this and this, maybe that's a less of a thing. So you, if you're going to be edgy now, you're like, okay, you're going to be a podcast. You're going to be a YouTuber. Yeah. Like you're probably not going to go where you might've five years ago gone on like,

or 10 years ago gone on like comedy central, for gone on like Comedy Central for example the thing did all change so if you were in 2015 where like it did kind of get wild and then maybe you kind of stepped away from the comedy scene you might be like oh it's crazy

and there's a part of me where there's like it was like that for like a moment but the comedy club thing like evened out a little bit I mean there was a comedy club here that I'm not going to name and the booker was straight up like

pretty much like that yeah she but again there's so many clubs here but there are so many clubs. It depends. I always, it's such a weird thing. It wasn't specifically edgy.

In Canada, it was worse. The same way it's like, you know when you go to like a little scene sometimes and there's like five people that run that scene and you're just kind of like,

if they're that, then you're screwed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. But London's probably not. It's a big place and there's clubs. What you're saying is right. It's about TV and industry and in general and that bit but i don't know when there

was ever a time where you could be completely wild on tv because they've always been behest to their advertisers and their license payers and stuff like any tv comedy has always been a little bit sanitized and it's got worse absolutely but those guys are saying comedy clubs are banning people for doing risky stuff, and that isn't happening. No, I don't agree in comedy clubs either. Yeah, it just isn't a thing. It's bollocks. Yeah, it is such a nuanced thing, I guess,

because you're just like, obviously there's... Yeah, it's almost like you're like, there is shit that's happening that's annoying, but you're maybe like, it's not really that. Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what it is. There's annoying stuff, but then it's the same with every part of culture war uh stuff with to cancel culture and this everyone goes oh no this is happening it's really really awful and it's bad it's bad it's bad and you know comedy clubs are banning us for doing edgy stuff and then the baby gets

thrown out with the bath water because there is a problem that is worth talking about but when you shroud it in as much bollocks as they have then the actual issue gets thrown out and everyone's like there's no problem there is it's just not what you're saying it is okay and you're stopping the conversation with reasonable people because you're pretending that you've been banned from the comedy store because you're edgy not that the audience didn't laugh enough yeah i guess or like the booker just doesn't like you yeah which is entirely and people are allowed to book who they want to the club as well it's almost evened out now a little bit to where what you're saying where there's like yeah there's like

the club comics and here's the clubs and if you're good you can do what you want and then there's like the gay scenes and if you want to you know whatever go like i mean brooklyn like brooklyn has lots of those shows where you're like That's the booker you were talking about where she was like, abortion. There's like when they did abortion past and she goes, I guess I won't be booking anymore

white male comics because of abortions. Because they repeal Roe v. Wade. She's like, well, until they undo that, I guess I'm not booking any white male comics. You're like, what? First off, if that is true, keep it to yourself.

Why are you publicizing that you're not doing this yeah you don't have to say that you don't have to say it like it's not like the white male comics were like on the supreme court like yeah yeah so like yeah it does go back and forth and it sort of does switch but like there was a one there was like there was a article that we like talked a little bit last week but it was like going in on podcaster bros. And I've actually seen a lot on the internet of people being like white male podcasters. Like, oh, give a guy.

Actually, it's not one with Chris Williamson. It was like another white guy with a microphone like that. And it was like, a part of me was like, yeah, because you kicked us out of the other thing. I was like, okay, put me in movies then. I'll stop and put the mic down. I had that on we had a comment on one of our

TikTok clips from our podcast and it was not everybody needs a podcast you're like we're pretty popular I'll screenshot our Patreon page

and print it and post it to you no it's like these people just don't get it you know you're just like oh this is crappy it was like listen we these people just don't get it you know you're just like yeah you're just like

oh this is crappy it was like listen we have our own thing going on here that you aren't invited to to be honest and you're just like yo you you're not you almost just want to shut the door on them be like hey we got our podcast thing going on over here uh and we're making videos and doing our podcast with our friends and everyone's selling tickets and see you later some people's minds are so stuck so stuck in like just tv where they go like yeah this should be for everybody and then when they see something that's not for everybody they're like what yeah why isn't this for me why isn't this designed specifically for me yeah yeah i don't know it's not oh we want to kick you out of podcasting be like well you don't own that

but there was like sort of right off as they did like the like it does go recently they did a thing where basically they said like if people did resumes that had like pronouns on them or whatever yeah um basically they kind of said that uh people were less likely to get hired yeah did you see that yeah yeah and i was like it is sort of true like to be honest in comedy this is what i sort of argue with like sometimes even like our fans sometimes where i'm just like i think in some industries it would hurt you more to be like i'm fucking you know if you went up and being like i just want to say that i'm a fucking feminist like you have i've like you know we have friends that are just like uh jokes all about like how liberal they are and it almost has to be like i know because people are like annoyed by it

or something i mean yeah people are sick but like i've said that before and not even anything against like whatever like uh any type of person but you go if i was hiring people and i was just like for example a lot of times i would travel around and hire someone just like in a city and if i if i look at someone's thing and their their facebook page is all about protesting and then they're like email cover as he him and all that sort of stuff like yeah i'm like this guy's gonna be first off if you have if you have like especially like not normal pronouns like there is a 50 chance that you're just like not a capitalist like you were like a communist or something and then you're like why do i want to hire you you're gonna probably like force me to give my company away to the employees at some point.

Not like quiet quitting stuff or whatever. Yeah, like you're like sabotaging the company from the inside because you're against capitalism. You have a TikTok page about quiet quitting. So what is the landscape for, do you have like plans to kind of do television or like any of that stuff like are you working on that stuff are you 100 like fuck that shit there's a couple of tv shows i'd like to do because i think they're fun and interesting and uh like we have a lot of panel shows and stuff in the uk that's so weird the the two weird like uk things is like you guys all the panel shows and all the like like presenters yeah like the fact that like presenters is presenters

is just like a job i'm just like a presenter that is weird yeah yeah like the fact that like presenters is weird presenters is just like a job I'm just like a presenter that is weird yeah yeah like I don't think there's is there anywhere else to have that

and they're like famous say that again and they're like super famous just as a presenter just as a presenter like a TV presenter yeah wait is that Ryan Seacrest would that be that though no

yeah so would like Steve Harvey as well oh well no he's a comic though yeah but he's a comic who is a presenter is a presenter Drew Carey you you're right.

They're presenters now. A lot of presenters in the... What happens a lot in the UK is people get into stand-up to get some sort of TV job, like presenting or something like that. It just seems so funny that your goal for stand-up

is to be a presenter. Maybe this is the word presenter. The word presenter is funny. I guess this is a host or whatever. Yeah, the panel shows, they don't have here. No, and they've tried to do a couple, like the American Eyes for Netflix,

and they just haven't worked. Yeah, the Canadian, what's her name? Catherine Ryan. Catherine Ryan, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they tried to do it there. There's a couple in the UK that are fun that I'd like to do. Live at the Apollo, the stand-up show. It doesn't get as many views as it used to get,

but I'd like to do that again. I've done it once before. I'm on the list to maybe do it again this year and host an episode, which would be great. But that's more to do with, like, I want to say I've done it, rather than, like, it's going to have a massive impact on a career.

I want to do bits, but I... So my manager left the industry in August, and then I had a few offers from other managers. But I just went on my own for a bit. And if you want to do TV, you need a manager knocking on the door for you. You've got to be in that whole game. Yeah. It's a lot of work, too.

It's a lot. And also, I've got to give them 15% of everything in order to send, what, six emails a year? Yeah. And I don't really feel like doing that at the minute because the podcast is doing well. And I've just announced a ridiculous tour. Like, I just don't see the value in...

There's not enough TV work that could be worth 15 of my live work sure like yeah well do you do you think the british office is better than the american office um this is gonna uh be very unpopular i've never watched either of them oh it's a real hipster or it's the opposite where you're like too working class for that stuff i'm just like i'd never do that job uh yeah i've never watched either of them i've watched a couple of episodes of the american one easy yeah i get a lot of stick do you know what i'm really bad for do you know if i miss the boat i'm watching a tv show and then everyone's like you've got to watch it

it makes me not want to watch it so i've never seen game of thrones either yeah i just missed it i'm just like i missed it and i can't be asked like there's no one for me not want to watch it. So I've never seen Game of Thrones either. Me neither. Yeah, I just missed it. I'm just like, I missed it and I can't be arsed. Like, there's no one for me to talk to about it now because everyone's seen it years ago. Yeah. Like, I've just, I'm done.

So I'll just, I'm really bad for just re-watching the same old shit in the background. Just shit sitcoms. Coronation Street. Love, love Coronation Street. It's a huge show in Canada. Like, if I get in of a night after a show and I'm not tired and I just want to be on

my phone and eat and shit, I'll just put Friends on. And it'll just be on in the background. Friends, man, huh? Just in the background. Just numb, white noise. I've heard every episode a thousand times and it's just on. And I just, that's my piece. You know what I was kind of thinking about, like, recently about Friends was that, like, it's the same as i it just it's that's my piece you know i was kind of

thinking about like recently about friends was that like it's the same as almost like not enough diversity i was getting mad about but like there almost is uh like a lot of those actors have gone on to do bigger things than friends or whatever but like still i wonder if they like a lot of them look back and they were just like, that moment, as much as we're more famous now, that was the most we ever changed culture. And I think a lot of comedians will have that, where they go on to become big movie stars, but that moment, I don't know, you might think of Jackass.

Johnny Knoxville is a pretty big movie star right now, but it's never be as big of a deal as the amount that that like cultural moment or if you think about rappers like like there's like a lot of like rappers that go on to become like big movie stars or whatever but like there's something about like just being like the catalyst for like a culture that's just like so much cooler or something and i wonder if a lot of them still think of that i understand your question but i actually don't think anyone from friends has been in anything bigger than friends no no way jennifer aniston maybe jennifer huge movie star jennifer aniston would be the only one who is that's who on your question but I actually don't think anyone from Friends has been in anything bigger than Friends no no way Jennifer Aniston is like a huge movie star

Jennifer Aniston would be the only one who is that's who I'm talking about but I still don't think she is more famous oh yeah David Schwimmer

wasn't guy number three in the army show I don't think any of them are more famous Jennifer Aniston right no you think she's more famous than the last

than when she was Rachel like people all over the world change their fucking haircut to be like Rachel well I think that you're kind of in some ways

making the same point I'm making but just like saying it differently because that's what I mean like it was so culturally like important

it was massive and like I don't know how often but she's a bigger movie star now or whatever she's big but I mean

you can't name the last movie she's been in you know she's on Friends well movie stars are like a higher thing than TV things I guess or something I know I know what you're't name the last movie she's been in. You know she's on Friends. Well, movie stars are like a higher thing than TV things, I guess, or something.

I know what you're saying. I just don't think any of them have done anything bigger than Friends. Yeah. I don't think so either. What role has Jennifer Aniston done where you remember her for that more than Friends? Five Adam Sandler chick flicks. Was she in Horrible Bosses or something? Yeah, but-

Maybe the last thing I saw her in. But that's the question, isn't it? Was she in that thing or something? She was in Bruce Almighty. Yeah. But what was her character's name in bruce almighty yeah like it jennifer well i guess what i'm getting at is like i feel like there's something even like think of like tim and eric like i'm sure those guys are you know right now making tv shows and whatever doing whatever they're doing but like and that show wasn't that huge but there's something like so cool

about being like just a moment in time where like you really did like define like a little era of culture, whether it's like music or comedy. I think to me, that's like, if you're getting into it, you should almost like be trying to do that.

Comedy Central, eight hours a day in the UK is still friends. Really? They show like 16 episodes a day. I mean, it's probably, it's it's south park here yeah but it's probably like a similar thing to canada where they're like it's just it's so much cheaper than producing a show and it the any show we make is not going to do well ratings wise yeah

so no they haven't hit in a while no i'll go in a hotel room and i'll look at comedy central and i'll be like you're just like is this like glitch? It's just like 19 South Park blocks in a row. It's so crazy. But okay. Well, we're going to wrap this up in one second. But do you know what star seeds are? No. We follow these Reddits.

So star seeds are these, do you know any girls who are into like super whimsical shit? Have you ever dated one? Basically, there's star seeds are these do you know any girls who are into like super whimsical shit have you ever dated one basically witches, crystals star seeds on the internet and they think that

they're actually from a different planet no I haven't I mean I've had girlfriends who are like massively into astrology like what

this is like taking that to the yeah it's just to the point where you can't argue with them like where you're like you're being in a

fucking mood and they're like well you're being in a fucking mood, and they're like, well, actually, the Mercury is in. For real. And you're like, oh, for fuck's sake. But if I'm a gobshite, if I'm out of order, then that's my fault. But whenever she's a cunt, it's something to do with the sky. I've been doing a joke about how, like, Giselle said that there was protection crystals.

Like, that's why uh tom brady won the super bowl but i was saying if you had told the girl like listen i don't have a condom but i have this protection crystal you know what i mean like all of a sudden all of a sudden now she doesn't believe in it that's really funny but there's these funny like there's these basically the star seeds and they do these like they have this reddit where they just give each other like insane things and this person says so she's from a different planet and she goes but on my current form uh i i have someone that visits me in my dreams and holds my hands i feel her energy and i can talk to her telepathically not always clearly so generally i wouldn't die or something she would want to tie me up to a chair handcuff me and tie me with a piece of black metal

to a chair and she would undress me and do various stuff and i realized that's called bondage to the point where this post i realized that the planet that i'm from has bondage so she's essentially imagine dating this girl where she goes i had a dream and the guy tied me up i know it's bonded now and i realize i'm from a planet that has bonded by the way this is a funny one because there's always this is on reddit and there's always comments and this one is just like no comments this one is people are like even the starseed people are like it is always funny when their own people because they're all very reaffirming they're all like yeah there totally is like here's my experience this one's just like yeah i don't know about that whole thing um this person says minding my own business

listening to metallica when a very loud voice comes in and says i'm a syrian starseed so essentially this person says every time they're listening to a metallica um a war against an eagle and a snake god just comes in and then the music tunes out so anytime that they're listening to metal music that's when their starseed voice comes in and then there's one other person that says my mom says i'm an inferior human being because i'm not a starseed so there's someone in the group that their mom's a starseed parent. Also, she said that the mom said that me and my sister are mud people or pig people. What is that?

Mud people generally not a good thing to call someone. That is super funny. Whereas pig people is a compliment. There's no racial connotations. That's so funny to me, though. You know when they you like they kind of make the joke about like the like super hipstery parents that'll just be kind of like like my son's not even gay that's like so bullshit just being like let's this guy idiot's not even

from a different planet it's such a funny thing i guess it doesn't transfer over like if your mom's a starseed i guess i guess not so, so you're here for like, what? Like maybe Monday, maybe Tuesday? Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. And tonight you're going to see the musical? I'm going to go and see Parade, which me and my mom are going to see. I like musicals.

Are you going by yourself? Yeah. I've never gone to see a musical since I lived here. Yeah, I haven't seen one either. I haven't done anything. I didn't grow up with this. It's just a few years ago I went to see Hamilton.

What do your working class blokes think back home? I just don't tell them. He goes, this is what you've been up to with your comedy friends, yeah? Me dad would rather me go and see anything else.

Your dad, yeah, yeah. It's like the memes like goes to New York once. It's like singing along to the Lion King like goes to New York once it's like singing along to the Lion King comes back with a tongue stud Josh can't wait

to meet me he's like well yeah definitely I think we'll be at the stand so maybe we can hang out after but yeah and then on

also if you're listening to this Adam's gonna be in our sketch that's coming out Monday and then also they'll see the vice versa this but so the podcast have a word podcast and then also they'll see the vice versa of this.

So the podcast, have a word podcast, and then on all your socials is Adam Row Comedy? Adam Row Comedy on Instagram, Adam Row Comedy on Twitter, and two recent specials are called Juicy and Imperious, and they're both on YouTube. Yeah, and you put them out a month in between each other, which is interesting. Well, Imperious, I finished in June last year, the tour,

and it just took a while to get the edit sorted because there was a problem with some of the footage and Juicy was just ready to be filmed. So I started writing that in September. It was done by January. I just recorded it and put it out. Sure.

No, check it out. It's super funny. So, okay. Adam Rowe, this has been, oh, you know what? Also, catch me next weekend in Boston

and then Atlanta Vegas New York tickets for the Grammar so you're on sale and a few more dates that I'm forgetting patreon.com

slash the boys cast yay okay peace bye bye