The Boyscast with Ryan Long - The New York Times HILARIOUS Strike Demands, Assassination Attempts, & Exploding Hezbollah Pager!

Episode Date: September 20, 2024

Black girls need more D (vitamin) cops go ballistic in the NYC subway, and science has determined mammals can breathe from their butts. SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! Mando - Go to http://shopmando.com and use promo code BOYSCAST for 40% off starter pack FUM - Go to https://tryfum.com/boyscast and use promo code BOYSCAST for a free gift AG1 - Go to https://drinkag1.com/boyscast to get a free bottle of vitamin D3K2 and 5 free AG1 travel packs with first purchase Prizepicks - Go to https://prizepicks.com and use code BOYSCAST to get $50 instantly when you play $5 SUPPORT THE BOYS PATREON.COM/THEBOYSCAST  RYAN ON TOUR: Fort Wayne: Oct 11/12, Louisville: Oct 13, Phoenix: Feb 14-16, Portland: Feb 25/26, Edmonton: Jan 24-26, Tacoma: Feb 27-March 1, Minneapolis: Jan 17-19 - ryanlongcomedy.com DANNY ON TOUR: Baltimore Oct 10, Tampa Oct 20, Albany Dec 4 and Hartford Dec 5 dannycomedy.com SUPPORT THE BOYSCAST:  https://www.patreon.com/theboyscast http://ryanlongcomedy.com Ryan @ryanlongcomedy Danny @dannyjokes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

After a second Trump assassination attempt, some have called for the rhetoric in this country to be turned down, to which both Republicans and Democrats have united together to say, no, I don't think we'll do that. And also noting 100% of the rhetoric has actually come from the opposite side. When asked to elaborate, Democrat Jill Brown stated, if you want to see rhetoric, take a look at the side who, if not stopped by any means necessary, will force women to carry incest babies to term at gunpoint by January 6th militias while trans immigrant scientists are publicly tortured

by Islamophobic Project 2025's sonic hate speech as Donald Trump sits on a throne made of the bones of trans dreamers and the country's formerly democratic institutions for eternity unless, of course, a hero does something about it to stop the rhetoric. Republican John Springer commented, There's only one place you'll find rhetoric, and that is the party that is chomping at the bit to lop your son's hog off with a ceremonial cuckold guillotine as the cats of white America are ground into a stew to be publicly eaten by feral immigrants washed down with the blood of newly born infants chanting death to America, all while the CIA redistributes your legally

acquired firearms to Argentinian gang lords holding communist manifestos as they vote a thousand times a piece minimum. Vegas odds currently has the percentage chance of rhetoric being turned down this election at 0.00001. The Boys Cast is back. Your number one economics boy. Yes, it is. Number one. You already know what it is. Danny is now a Jersey man.

I'm now a fucking Greenpoint Brooklyn man. We've been out here moving. That has been 90% of my life. I love that, my friend. Danny actually might not be a Jersey boy for long. We'll see. We'll see. We'll keep you posted on whether Danny's a Jersey boy it sounds like he might be moving out the darker my eyes get the more I'm not a Jersey man

we got before we get into everything that is happening this week we should probably mention the woman who married herself is now getting divorced and not only that we can talk about her first. Who approaches who with the divorce?

This is the thing. Does she, like, serve herself? I think she does. She serves herself in the mirror. She leaves a trail of divorce notes for herself. Then she finds them. I was thinking maybe she hires a lawyer, and then she's, like, in a parking lot.

You know, she's at the Walmart. Just shopping. Hope I don't get served divorce papers. Buddy, she went to therapy. She said she couldn't be perfect for herself. Even committed to oneself can have its challenges, such as dealing with the expectation of being perfect for yourself at all times. So she couldn't stop nagging herself.

No. I mean, it's tough. You know what? I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Uh-huh. And they really need to bring back lobotomies. This would actually be one. Honestly, man.

That's the only way to properly divorce yourself. Have you ever seen the photos of lobotomies? They used to go hard on lobotomies back in the day. Dude, lobotomies used to be the go-to thing. It's like your chick would just be kind of like nagging a bit, and you go like, hey, this is like- Get rid of that part of your brain. You cry a lot.

So then all they do is you just go, and they just literally just stab a knife around the frontal cortex of your ice pick. That was one of the craziest. They showed the photos, and literally the person, the before photo, is just like, miserable. And then the after photo, she's just like. You're sort of pro-lobotomy. You're saying it wasn't working so bad. It was a great system. You just make them dumb.

Buddy, I'm telling you, you knock a few IQ points off are i guarantee you're making those points back in happiness absolutely the thing is the crazy part is like start wrestling all of a sudden yes you turn your whoever you lobotomize into just like a drooling idiot but they're happier too yes exactly like it's not like it's like everybody wins here it's so crazy because we were just like this is barbaric we have to out to outlaw it. But I'm like, I really think we should bring him back. What do you think about the guy who was like next in line to get his wife a lobotomy? When the thing comes on the news, breaking news, lobotomies are now banned. Oh, my God. He had to hear about it.

Honey, take your shoes off. And then he was hearing about that. She goes, you were going to get me this dangerous surgery? That's true. For like the rest of his fucking life. I was about to get lobotomized. She doesn't know what she was hearing about that. She goes, you were going to get me this dangerous surgery? That's true. I know. For like the rest of his fucking life. I was about to get lobotomized. She doesn't know what she was going in for. Oh, man.

That would be a nightmare. Well, she's having 100% arguments with herself. She's like, why aren't you enough? And she goes, you don't even care about me. She goes, you don't care about me. So it's real two heads clucking in one person, right? She went to therapy. And apparently she did 10 sessions.

So the therapist is just fucking scam artist. Obviously. I can't help you with this. She's now looking for a husband. So the reason I bring it up is that there's any takers out there. She's single out on the market.

Anybody takers? You want the chick who married herself? And the girl who married a plane is now divorced. So all these girls that were doing all the wacky things in the wacky era. She goes, I thought you were an Airbus.

You're a Boeing? You lied to me. He goes, honey, I couldn't tell you. I wanted to tell you, but I knew you wouldn't love me the same

if you found out I was a Boeing. So any takers, anyone, the plane girl and the marrying herself girl, both on the market for some lucky customer. Maybe we can get them to meet. I think so, but I think that she's looking for a husband right now, but we could obviously trans one of them.

They're into some wacky stuff. Yeah, for sure. The one started off as a Mariah Carey impersonator. Looks nothing like her. She's always onto some wacky fucking bullshit. Nothing like her. She's a Mariah Carey impersonator looks nothing like her she's always onto some wacky fucking bullshit she's a mariah carey uh impersonator then i'm a fucking denzel washington impersonator yeah basically so this is probably dj qualls impersonator i don't you actually are though and i don't i don't want to too quickly get into the assassination again and go into trump stuff

we're going to talk about something else yeah this is this was an article that came to me came to me through a birdie and i legitimately read it and i was like i thought it was a satire thing yeah i kept looking through other uh sites i ended up finding like yeah you're just like this is so uh crazy you're like this must be fake new york times tech staff's gonna basically they're they've been trying to go on strike for a while right yeah and it's the tech staff it's not their normal staff and they list so and they're kind of uh holding it over them being like hey it's the election so now we have the hand yeah well they're just like they're basically saying they're like yeah we're like not needed in any of this like people can get their news anywhere so like people just go

on twitter like you guys are so replaceable but the elections when they fucking real pop off you know what i mean or when the new york times is trying to get a war cooking yeah they pop into overdrive when they're trying to get a war there's a lot of these things going on and i'm wondering how it's affecting them but the times journalist walked off uh the job for a day in 2022 and wire cutter staff staged a five-day strike during the Black Friday shopping season of 2021. So they've been sort of pushing this for a while, but the Guild released all their tech demands, the tech staff's demands, and they're insane.

But the thing is, when you first read this, you go, okay, New York Times journalists, you're like, I'm expecting some wacky demands from them. You know what I mean? Just like no one looks me in the eyes, you know, crying room, all that sort of stuff, right? Yeah, all the stuff. When I think of the tech guys, I think you're talking nerds. You know, I'm thinking the tech guys that are sort of like, you know, working on the website and stuff like that.

The IT guys. The IT guys. I'm not picturing. But they're reporters still. Some of these are like journalists. So you're saying some of these tech guys moonlight as journalists. I guess. I don't know. I was under the impression Some of these are like journalists. So you're saying some of these tech guys moonlight as journalists? I guess. I don't know.

I was under the impression that they were like also journalists. This is what was a little confusing to me because when I was picturing tech guys, but it ain't tech guys. This is standard meat and potatoes, New York Times. Just lying journalists. This is exactly what you'd expect. They start off not as crazy. Yeah.

The guilds put forward a number of proposals that management balked at in totalitarity. Get me on that one. Totalitarity? You didn't get it that good either. And by the way... Oh, I said what you said. Oh, I thought... Totality. I didn't nail it either. Well, at first they've been going back and forth for like a couple

years and apparently the tech guild's been like, they're being unreasonable and they're like, they've been going back and forth for like a couple years. And apparently, the tech guild's been like, they're being unreasonable. And they're like, they're being unreasonable. And they started out with their, they want a four-day work week coupled with significant increases in pay. So they're coming in fairly hot. Less work, more money. They're ballsy. Usually you go, less work, same money.

Maybe that's what they're hoping to get. They're going, we're asking for less work, more money, and we'll be happy with less work exactly same money or same work i want to raise and you go and here's the also thing is i want to work one day a week but the thing is they come in they when they started out they're not zany like you go i'm not dealing with a crazy person i'm dealing with a lazy person sure so they go we want we want to work four days a week even in election season but we want more money and result of that non-performance based annual bonuses so we non-performance they think they're like a fucking athlete or some shit i mean no actually that's not a bonus athletes are actually all performance based well why is it a bonus then

you just ask like that's just a higher salary yeah well you want it to just not be tied to anything you go hey come come into my office and just here's like a bag of money you go what is this for you go nothing just being you just nothing we're hemorrhaging money but yeah that's the other thing i guess on the other side of this the new york times is probably not in its peak right now yeah well it's also insane because Twitter, everybody Twitter laid off two-thirds of their workforce. It only got better. All of a sudden, they start innovating

all these new features, all this stuff when nothing had happened. They're fine. You're like, just let them go. I would like to think the New York Times can probably cut half their staff and no one would notice. Easily. I'd like to try and sneak into the building. I mean, you don't take right here.

Really? You didn't know that? It's across the street. That's pretty funny. Dude, it's literally across the street. If they strike, we should pop over there. Dude, it's literally right across the street. You walk out and it's right across the street.

I want to work zero days a week and I want a million kajal. Because I walk by there all the time and I'm like, man, what goes on in here? Interesting. Yeah. Well, I think you know what's going on in there. Malarkey. Well, yes. A lot of malarkey.

A lot of crying. Well, you know what it is? They are probably like the tech people. These are the tech people. And then they were like, do you know what goes on at tech companies? They have fucking unlimited cereal. Right. We should have a slide.

Yeah. Slides. Kind. Like, I remember I went to the Shopify offices in Ottawa one year because my my friend's girlfriend worked there they had a go-kart track inside i mean some of that stuff it was all when things were it's like with that old thing where when things are growing a lot yeah it's you know every it's all everyone's generous and then when you know the thing starts stops growing as much it's always kind of like all right we need to you start dividing this pie and then you start fighting over who gets what. Tighten the belt. Yeah, when it seems like

there's more money coming in the future, everyone's kind of happy. When it seems like things are clamming down a bit, everyone's kind of like scrambling to get their little piece. Yeah, and I don't think there's a business that has a worse outlook than journalism. Doesn't seem like it's doing as hot as... You know, if you were to bet on any company right now, it wouldn't be the

fucking New York Times. Well, I think a lot of what the tech of the new york times does is they have they have to develop pipelines to encrypt the messages from the deep state okay yeah i guess they gotta keep keep all their handlers happy exactly i think it's a lot it's sort of like a sales position there's a lot of like taking the deep state guys out to games stuff like that you're essentially i mean you know what just as a because this is shocking to me but i just looked at uh the new york times company stock and it just made an all-time high like today okay so maybe that's why these guys so they're making money somewhere i wonder what how they what they're doing it's just they have a lot of online subscriptions they just probably have a crazy amount of subscriptions yeah

okay so then they're doing okay. Yeah. So management, that's where we started. They said management's getting bogged down with the negotiations, which they seem as somewhat outlandish, even illegal proposals. The guild has proposed a ban on scented products in the break room. I don't know what that could be. I think... Curry!

Yeah. None of these non-white foods is stinking up the break room or it's the opposite of that where these guys you know some of the other people that work there keep lighting candles and stuff like that because they're just like you know people are stinking this up with weird foods and shit like that right that's what it is the passive-aggressive whites who are like kind of like a week from retirement they go you know what this place used to smell like fucking ham sandwiches, which smelled nice and like nothing.

And now it's all these exotic foods everywhere. And there's no chance. There's no chance anyway. It's just ever going to say like, hey, do you mind like if you're going to have, you're going to bring like crazy smelling food. Can you just eat plain rice? So I think you got a lot of hippies in there

burning incense and stuff like that. Being like, no, no, it's unrelated. Your food smells great. and they're just like No no no none of this incense business The food smells the food smell We smell the foods Unlimited break time Unlimited break time

I guess a lot of places they have like a limited Paid tied off like a lot of places Will give you a limited paid tied them off But what they really mean Is like if you take more than three weeks, you're fired. You know what I mean? Sure, obviously. I mean, unless you're somehow a figure, unless it's a straight production-based company,

and you go, hey, well, you're doing all your stuff. As long as you get your stuff done, whatever. You show up, you go, hey, I got to go grab something. I got to go run an errand. You just come back at 5 o'clock and go, all right, see you guys. Yeah, I guess in this situation, they want someone to come and be like, hey, I need you to do something. You go, I'm on break.

You go, how long are you on break until? However the fuck I want. How long the fuck I want to. You're going to go catch a day matinee baseball game. Yeah, yeah. However the fuck I want to. How about that? I'm going to ride the ferry just for fun.

Wild. So the unlimited break team, which seems a little high to be like, I want more money, less days, Unlimited Break time, no smells. No smells. As well as mandatory trigger warnings

in company meetings discussing events from the news. This is where it starts to get a little fucking wacky. Crazy because you're the news and I gotta be like, all right, everybody,

cover your ears. We're gonna discuss the news at the news. I hope this doesn't... You're fucking... Imagine working at the news. Dude, we got to sneak in there. We got to get some janitor outfits or something. I know, right?

Janitor outfits sneak in there and just be... They're like, okay, we're going to be talking about Ukraine today. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! That was actually kind of insensitive to Arab arab people so don't do that yeah yeah yeah so definitely being a tech guy if you're like hey you're you're coming in and someone needs their computer fixed and you come in and you're like guys uh if you don't mind we have someone here and they're like sorry uh, the former president. Trigger warning. The former president. Trigger warnings at the news is something else.

Crazy. Seems like they might not be getting all this stuff, so there's maybe a little part of it where they're pouring it on thick, hoping to meet in the middle. I'll tell you how you know chicks are running the show, though. Yeah, I forgot to even mention that. It's pet bereavement. That's how you know. Pet bereavement?

Yeah. Unlimited pet bereavement. Unlimited pet bereavement. Unlimited pet bereavement. Wow, that's an easy one because you got 45 cats. Yeah, you go, my parakeet died. My pet ant died today,

so yeah, it's gonna be... What do you expect me to do? Do you know how many ants I have? His name's Morton. I'm supposed to come in? Fucking Morton's dead. Morton's a Morton Morton.

Supposed to just leave his 95 other brothers and sisters in peace? Times Management's been frustrated with some other proposals. So times management, the head honchos at times are just like, you know, really. They probably wish their fucking stock was in the gutter right now, actually. Because then they could be

like, hey, uh. He wants to come out there with his pockets out just being like, I would love to give you your unlimited time, but. Yeah, yeah. But this is probably where it got real good. more money for non-white staff and other underrepresented communities to attend conferences language that would prioritize non-citizens in the u.s on visas in the case of layoffs so this is where i

was thinking there's got to be a couple white dudes in this thing that were they were doing the meeting they're like okay you're doing your pet bereavement all this guys hey i gotta dip out you guys do you mind like just finishing this off you're not gonna do anything crazy it's like no no we have a couple extra points yeah you know i think you're ready for it i think you're ready for the added responsibility he comes back the next day they're just like hey did you add in the thing that i'm all white people are gonna get paid less money illegal That's illegal, first off. Basically, if anyone gets laid off, it has to be everyone else before the illegal immigrants or people that don't have green cards.

That's a tough one, too, because they're just like, you know, they're saying that. They go, that's technically illegal. And they go, no person is illegal. Yeah, yeah, exactly. They go, yeah, but you can't pay people differently expressly based on the race. Buddy, they must have had like five or six white dudes in this meeting or white people in this meeting probably more dudes that were just like you know yeah great the bereavement and just like okay obviously we're going to be doing more money

for anyone who's not white and the guy's like love that i think the white guys don't really uh pipe up anymore you think that they've they're just trying to not get fired and keep the pension guy has to put his hostage tape on before he gets into the meeting? They don't do anything. Those guys are just fucking head down.

They're hanging on cliffhanger style on a thread just being like, if I can make it another year, maybe I get some sort of pension.

Yeah, they just see the light at the end of the tunnel. I think that some of these New York Times white dudes are desperately starting podcasts being

hoping to take off so they can walk away. Oh, like where? Well, the problem is, is like they probably can't even start one because then you'd probably say something and they'd fire you for it. Yeah, and both of which paper pointed out

they couldn't be fulfilled because that would likely violate employment laws. So it is funny, the paper, they're just straight up coming with like some of the most illegal shit. Well, and you know what? From a negotiating standpoint, to give them maybe the benefit of the doubt here. They're just straight up coming with books of legal shit. You know what? From a negotiating standpoint, to give them

maybe the benefit of the doubt here. They're going hard. They go, we're going to throw all these crazy things. They're going to give us none of the crazy things. They're just going to give us more money and less work. So you're not going to give the white people less money. However, you are going to get your days off. You'll give everybody more money and less work and then I guess everybody wins.

Maybe that's then they go fuck you know. That's kind of a negotiated. I couldn't believe when I was seeing some of these demands though. It was like out of a friggin sketch. Lying New York Times maybe. The wacky New York Times man. They're getting wackier and wackier and every time you take a look at them they're exactly as wacky as you'd think they'd be.

And they actually seed your wackiness expectations because I was not sure this was real. Yeah I mean I guess if Trump wins, they're kind of just back to printing. They could be printing more money if Trump gets off because these guys are, you know what I mean? If he wins, man, they're just like, all right, we're back, baby.

Well, let me tell you on the other side of it, that's what's going on at the line in New York Times. Do you want to know what's going on in Wall Street? Investment banks limit junior employee work week hours to 80 hours. Yeah, yeah. I think we talked about this last week, didn't we? Briefly? No, we talked about this a while ago, I think. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But like I brought... Yeah, yeah, yeah. So basically...

No, because the guy died a while ago. The guy died. Now they just had the ruling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The guy died. Literally fucking... This dude died. He was a Green Beret. And being a Green Beret... What's a Green Beret? It's like this fucking super elite military dudes or whatever. And like,

I think they're, are they in the Navy? I don't know. Then he came back and he was like, it's like a fucking main dude. And then he came back, started working. Cause they love hiring these like high performing military dudes.

And then working at like Goldman Sachs killed him. It's like crazy. He was working like, these guys are like 120 hours a week. And the problem is, is they set it up where they're like, yeah, you know, uh, it's like crazy he was working like these guys are like 120 hours a week and the problem is is they set it up where they're like yeah you know uh it's uh you only have to work 100 hours like and they say like especially with like these junior guys because you pay you get paid like quarter of a million dollars a year like entry level yeah yeah but it's so competitive where they're like everybody's like well i'm like you live here. Like, I don't even go home.

This pussy only worked 95 hours last week. Come on, grow a fucking set. I mean, I see it all the time. Like, if you ever pay attention wherever you live, like a lot of times you'll notice like

you'll come home after shows at like 1 a.m. or some shit and the guy walks in like a suit. I know, yeah. And you're like, that guy's just like coming from work.

And he's going back at 7. Yeah, he'll be back at 7 and he showed up like when we're done stand there has to be some component of it where if they're sleeping four hours a night they're not that good at their well the problem is yes but like someone else is doing it and you know someone they're probably dude they're all fucking on amphetamines adderall that you forget about that part like this is honestly like the business equivalent of athletics, like professional athletics.

Yeah, you have to be in shape. You're in the major leagues of finance, I guess, and so people treat it like, you're like, yeah, Kobe Bryant used to wake up at four in the morning and go put up 5,000 shots. You're like, you can do it or don't do it. I don't know. Yes.

Well, this guy died doing what he loved, which is leveraged option trading. Actuarial tables. He died doing what he loved, which is leveraged option trading. Actuarial tables. He died doing what he loved, actuarial tables. And based on those tables, he shouldn't have died. Yeah. Well, it is funny just to go from the two sides of it. You're like in the journalism industry, they're like, we need trigger warnings before you talk about the things that are the main thing in our job. And in finance, they're like, all right, you're only going to have to work.

We're going to limit it to double the normal work hour. The normal work hours that everyone else is doing, we're going to limit it to doing double that. And then on top of that, no one's going to follow it. No one's going to follow it. Everyone there is just like, yeah, yeah, you put 80 hours. Basically, you put 80 hours in your worksheet. But if you actually work 80 hours,

everyone else is going to be ahead of you, and you're going to be fired. Exactly, yeah. So you're like, yeah, I'll just work. I don't know. I'll go to a coffee shop and work if I have to. I'm like, I'm getting 120 hours of work. Hey, you gave me 100 hours of work,

and I'm only supposed to work 80? Yeah, figure it out. Are you fucking your brain broken? This is the law. Yeah, exactly. Well, it's just they go, hey, you're not performing well. You go, well, I'm only allowed to work 80 hours a week. You go, it's too bad, I guess.

Hey, when you're sitting on your bundle of cash, you know, and every once in a week you get to go to the strip club on Saturday night and, you know, really blow off some steam. You got a laptop on your – Laptop just doing spreadsheets and all your hotkeys and everything, all some chicks, like, trying to grind on you. And you're like, like hey not right now I'm doing some trades right now

after hours markets are hot trading China currencies that's how you get around it is you go I'm not working I'm at the strip club you have your laptop with you yeah no no I'm just a pervert this is uh what an extreme fucking city this is man oh yeah but I mean

you know if you're one of these guys who works at these things, realistically, you start working when you're 22, and you're like, I can be realistically retired by 35. And you can make real money where you're like, by the age of 30, you're doing like five to a mil. Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, you could legitimately be retired. Like, if you don't, like, go crazy, you're like,

yeah, I could have $5 million in the bank when I'm 35 years old. But a lot of them do go crazy. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm sure the heart attacks are through the roof and all sorts of stuff and i'm sure it doesn't help that they're popping all the pills you know no but you know if you're really good then you get to be like running some hedge fund and make a hundo now you're really CEO of morgan stanley or some shit new york's got wacky stuff going on right and left so basically eric adams was sort of saying that he the subway like

he's kind of originally on the case was sort of trying to be like i'm a safety guy right like a lot of people believed it that much but he's been kind of pushing that direction one of the big things he was like okay so uh we're gonna start enforcing fares because his idea private have you noticed there's private security and i didn't notice that it's weird it's i guess they did some budget stuff and they go you know what we don't need cops to enforce fair so it's just a guy so it's just private security no not armed do you ever see the guys that they just stand there yeah there's a big hustle around that is that is a big hustle i think hustle is the guy stands by the door holds the door holds the door

open then you go in and he's like pay me for my service yeah i mean it's a good service honestly i mean it's essentially like a guy stealing for you and he wants half the money but it's a big hustle that they got going on i mean it is a smart one because they can't be at every station i don't i don't like doing it though because i don't like to be i don't like the shakedown component of it i'd rather pay my 275 and get shaken down yeah yeah i mean in the event i happen then they might talk to you and stuff. I did it actually, funny enough, I normally do pay it,

and then for the first time, I did it the other day only because I happen to have a loose single in my pocket. Uh-huh. And so I just go, here you go, man. Yeah, whoever has loose singles, you're right. I know, I just happen to have one,

and not even in my wallet. It was loose in my pocket, so I didn't even have to go in my wallet. Uh-huh. I was just like, all right. Someone threw it at you when you were on the pole save me a buck 90 well apparently uh some guy went in the guy the i guess the cop was like hey you didn't pay the fee sort of thing yeah they chased him down then the cops were like hey take your hands out of your pocket this guy was like this is all this is all because this guy did not pay $2.90. Yes.

Correct. Yes. It's kind of, I can see from the other side of it where it's like, you know, this is a... It's the broken windows thing where you're just like, you got to like enforce it so people see you're enforcing it so that they don't do it. Well, I think the idea is the people that pay, the people that are, if you probably did a graph and you go, the people who go onto the subway to like, you know graph and you go the people who go onto the subway to like you know rob people versus the people who go on the subway and pay their yeah there's

probably a pretty big window so you actually probably are it's not yeah i know the broken windows thing where you're like policing everyone but i don't think it's if you do say like you don't go on the subway unless you pay the thing you probably do cut out like a lot of the crime yeah a lot of the riffraff gets kind of eliminated. That is a fair statement. Probably. Most of it. It may be true that it does make it safer. For sure it does.

Again, I don't even drive it that much. But I mean, I see the amount of just normal people I see who just jump over the turnstiles. It's so common. Well, you're right. I guess it's only at major stations where they have the people here. But also, if everybody paid their subway fees, this city probably would be doing a lot better. Well, but more so, I'm saying

that this is the type of beast you have to deal with in this city where a guy goes, I'm going to jump off the turnstile, cops chase me. Four of them. For my $2.75. Four cops making $80 an hour are chasing a guy who didn't pay $2.90. Tom has got to take his hands out of his pocket.

He's like, fuck y'all. And then they try to tase him. The tases don't take. These are the beasts that are on the subway. This is your daily commute. Just a beast. Half man, half beast. Trying to tase him. Just for his $2.75. All to save $2.75.

Yep. All to save $2.75. Yep. All to save $2.75. So this is the trifecta of the city. You have finance guys dying mid-option trade. Uh-huh. And then you have lying New York Times reporters. You're dying somewhere. You're either dying during an option trade, dying on the subway. Dying from the trigger warnings, the lying New York Times.

Yep. And then you have a beast on the subway kicking fucking cops. I didn't even hear about this either somehow. I'm all to save $2.25. It's crazy. But then they were like shooting everybody. That was the craziest part about this. So then eventually they're like,

this is the craziest part of this whole story is that so then they like, I guess started shooting and then they shot two bystanders. There were four cops. A little trigger happy. Four cops shot two bystanders there were four cops trigger happy four cops shot two bystanders one of the cops got shot yeah so like these guys are again like these guys are not well the subway patrol guys but they're still like nypd these aren't like those private security because they don't have guns i tell you but they're just like on a busy platform and they're

like stop pay us the two dollars 90 and they're like he's not stopping a busy platform and they're like, stop, pay us the $2.90. And they're like, he's not stopping. Go open fire. And they're, it is a calamity. Two bystanders over $2.90 and a cop got shot. No. Cause the reason they started from their side of it, they said, uh, apparently they said it was friendly fire and the cops go, we don't like to use that term.

Friendly fire is a funny term. It's insane. I don't think you understand how friendly the fire was. But it's like, how do you shoot another cop trying to just... At what point do you go, you know what, let's take the L here. Let the guy go. I agree with you. Their side of the story was, the guy had his hands in his pocket, and he was about to start attacking them.

And they were like, hey, take your hands in his pocket. And the guy says, you're going to have to kill me first. So their take on it was, and he was about to start attacking them and they were like hey take your hands in his pocket and the guy says you're gonna have to kill me first so their take on it was this guy was about to start attacking right so he's coming right for us he's coming for us and he's just shooting the wrong direction these guys are i mean the cops are definitely dumb and dumber they're bumping into each other crazy i 100% while this was happening, it was playing... Yeah, and the cops chase the guy the one way, then they chase each other the other way. Yeah, at the door, and then they go in the door.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Benny Hill. Yeah, the cop comes back. He's wearing the cop outfit with the paper, and then he puts the paper down. It was 100% a Benny Hill situation, but... You're right. It should be one of those things where they kind of just stand there but you're right if a guy goes through there's not really much

you could do i mean that's honestly almost the private security is just better for that because they probably won't like private security will will deter enough people those guys are just like they're like all right yeah and you can probably pay the private security a little less way less i know private security is probably making a third what they need for the private security is it should be like a grandmother who's you know 50 to 70 years old yeah i guess maybe yeah 60 to 80 years old i'm gonna reiterate that okay and then she stands there and she like she guilts you she's like come on man you're gonna get me fired from my job yeah she's gonna get knocked unconscious yeah i mean there's literally i forgot all the punches yeah there's literally a video the

other day of on the upper i think east side some 88 year old woman is just like literally standing there minding her business this guy walks by her broad daylight then turns around walks back and just knocks her out buddy the area i moved into there's a puncher on the loose and everyone's talking. Really? The puncher's back? That's a new puncher. I'm in the community chats for the thing and I was looking at their active and these guys are fucking going. But apparently

what happened was there was a puncher who was on the loose in Greenpoint. He's walking around punching everybody. I'm sure this isn't just like an ad for like a new boxing studio. Puncher on the loose. Defend yourself. Yeah loose defend yourself yeah learn how to defend yourself now that's like the your joke where you said there's a gay uh boxing gym and if you want to you can just go punch gay sign up and you're just gonna punch gay guys yeah that guy yeah but yeah so basically the puncher's on the loose and people what happened was they got the puncher and they went and put him in jail. And then it was one of those things where they're like, oh, he's crazy.

So he shouldn't be in jail. So they put him back out. So everyone keeps being up in arms. Apparently I got the scoop talking to the locals. So apparently what happens is the puncher, they keep taking them and then they keep putting them back onto the streets and then they put them in a halfway house. There's a halfway house kind of in that area. And then basically he just walks out and he's back on the loose and he punches a few more girls and then they cycle repeats but these puncher girls

the only punches girls all right yeah well i'm not worried about it myself put him in a full way house do you think there'd ever be a trans person in brooklyn that would get punched in the face and he's like thank you you affirmed my gender as much as this is painful that would suck though the opposite where it's like he walks up, punches the two girls, looks at them. Yeah, he goes, ah, sorry buddy.

Ladies only. You go, what? Ladies only? Fuck you. Punch me. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me.

Yeah, that's, damn dude, the punchers are out there. They really don't, they really don't like fucking locking people up in this city. Like what do you have to do? Other than

fucking ditty, what do you gotta do? They say the guy's crazy or something, so then they just put him back on the street. He's obviously crazy. The girls are out there. I love how they go, yeah, they're crazy, so let's just put him back on the street. He's too crazy to be in jail. He's too crazy to be in jail. City. It is interesting.

It's a hot topic over there, though. They used to just put you in a mental institution and now and then they were like started putting them in jail and they go no jail is not the right place for them they go where is the right place for them they go mental institution back in the street well we closed those i guess just let him go the guy's just fucking dusting off his fist he's probably sitting in the jail too every day just practicing his fucking clocks probably turned the you know he has some mop that he turned he's got his pillowcase and he fills it up with stuff and he's just fucking boxing knocking it down fellas i'm sure you've heard me talk about mando whole body deodorant at this point now you can use this on your whole body yes your whole body it is dermatologist

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Oh, D. And then they have a three and sort of silent. That's clever. Is that not wild, though? And I saw the ad and I was like, that's the craziest thing. We'll put it on the screen. That was the craziest thing.

It just says, black girls need more D. And it's like this huge billboard. They're all over. And I looked it up. But it's a black girl, it's a black vitamin. Black vitamin company.

And I looked it up because I was like, this is like a joke or some sort. And there was like all these Reddit threads, all these things being like, what the fuck is this?

Everyone was thinking the same thing I'm thinking. Let's just hope all the flavors aren't just like purple, red, orange. This is kind of a lot. Yeah, better be run by a black girl. That's going to be pretty racist. Oh, come on. Watermelon chewable vitamins.

If there's like a white dude at the top of the fucking black girls need more D. That guy better be the janitor. Just like some hood queen's white dude that just loves black chicks. You know what I mean? Like, y'all, they need more D, fam. All right. So, Danny, our group chats have been lighting up.

Yeah. With Hezbollah pagers exploding across Lebanon. Your people, the Jews, have been exploding. Diabolical. This is fucking diabolical. Nearly 3,000 casualties. Pagers that blow you up. Dude, did you see all the new ones today?

It's going off! Dude, the new ones is now they're like walkie-talkie started exploding everywhere. Everything's blowing up. Everything has a battery in it that they communicate on. One of our friends in the chat group said he knew someone that owned like a lithium or mine or something. A lithium mine, yeah. And he was like, well, they're very flammable, but it's like they don't really explode.

So he was kind of saying- They don't explode, but they light on. So this is from what I understand. Because I one time- From what you understand from the meetings. From the meetings, correct. From what I was told. But no, so like maybe honestly maybe eight

years ago or something i had an iphone and the remember when the iphones were like their software and they were intentionally making the battery suck on the software whatever and they stopped doing that no they did because they did uh because it was called it illegal they called it legal or whatever but so they had some thing where you're like oh if you just replace your battery you can just on your iphone and then i was like, I just ordered like a battery on eBay. It was like 20 bucks. I was like, oh, I'll just swap it out. Right.

And so I was in my apartment in Toronto and I'm swapping out the battery and they give you like this little fucking plastic thing. But there was also a screwdriver. But you're supposed to use this plastic thing. And I was using the screw. You're fucking operating. I was using the screwdriver because the battery is like glued in there. Right. I was using the screwdriver because the battery's like glued in there right and as I'm trying to yank the battery out with the screwdriver I puncture the battery and oxygen hits lithium and it just lights on fire so I had a fire in my apartment I went to grab my phone I throw it in a

fucking pot I go and put it out on my balcony and my fucking all to save a buck all to save like maybe a hundred dollars I bricked an $800 phone. Ooh! Yeah, yeah. It was ruined. Where was this? This was in Toronto. Toronto?

Yeah, this was in Toronto. I ruined the phone completely. It was on fire, melted everything. So lithium, when it's exposed to oxygen, instantly lights on fire. That's wild. Instantly, yeah. Yeah, but there's a difference between lighting on fire. If that was the explosion...

So this is what happened. This is what I understand with the pagers from what I read. So Hezbollah, which is in Lebanon, ordered these... Because I guess they were getting all their shit intercepted for their traditional means of phones or whatever. So they're like, we're going to use these pagers because those pesky Jews can't get into our pagers. And they don't like that low technology. And and also it's also pretty easy to get middle

eastern dudes back on board with pagers they're probably pumped to go back to their roots they need something they go i still have the holster that's right they were probably loving going back to their roots man so anyways apparently they ordered like 5 000 pagers from taiwan and then somehow israel intercepted the whole shipment and i guess they must have just taken apart each one put explosives inside the like hollow areas of the pagers and then somehow remotely overheated the batteries i guess you can make the batteries heat up like remotely somehow overheated the batteries which then ignited the explosive some space laser technology this is space laser shit this is

like bomb i mean this is classic massage shit really but i guess right dude i had a teacher i remember told me in the 90s he he always used to talk about this there was like this dude in hamas and they uh he was like some bomb maker in hamas in the 90s that the Mossad wanted to take out. And this is when you had those big, like the Zack Morris cell phone, and then they basically found a mole in Hamas, the IDF, and they offered the mole a million dollars. And I believe American residency or citizenship, I don't know if it's citizenship,

but they're like, we'll get you out of here and a million bucks. Not a bad deal for an ex-H million bucks. Get us this guy's phone. And so he stole the phone, snuck it out, gave it to the Mossad. Can you imagine being in Hamas, getting caught stealing your boss's phone? I mean, death. Yeah, death by torture. Yeah, by torture.

But anyways, they got the phone out. There was like the big brick phone and they replaced in the earpiece. Just put a bunch of fucking plastic explosives in there. Put it and then he was like in like a public square they're washing him and he like i think they called him he picks up the phone they press a button just head explodes whoa yeah yeah so it's a real not the first time they did shit like this i mean this is a mass scale and then today there's all the walkie talkies now they're gonna be afraid to use any communication well that's the plan i, that really fucks them over. Yeah, it's like a beeper, apparently,

and if they don't accept a high interest loan, apparently they're fucking... Yeah, they go, what is this? 88% APR? This surely can't be right. Should have thought of that before. Well, after examining the facts, the heinous attack that took place, we hold the Israeli enemy fully responsible.

So I guess Israel hasn't taken credit, but they... I think they took credit for it. Although you think now they're saying, like, they're sort of admitting, like, yeah, it was us. Good shit, eh? Oh, for sure.

Yeah, yeah, they are. Because, I mean, that's like... I thought they were... At first, they were saying, like, nah no i mean maybe well at first it was kind of like i guess journalists were like hey until we get a confirmed report like we're not gonna like that's who makes sense but then i think they did take credit for and then i think what's happening is they're just expecting that uh they're gonna uh it just to go invade lebanon and go to war with them.

There is some. Yeah, that's the. This is just the start of the hypothesis. We'll kind of just fuck them up a little bit. Hopefully Big Daddy America is going to come in there, grab their back, right? That's the plan. That is. That does sound like a very Joe Biden-y plan.

Yeah. There is. The assassination attempts. There is stuff going on right and left. Johnny Glover had a pretty funny point where he goes, because apparently today they said that they found some explosive near Trump's rally. And they go, it's basically Trump is the fucking roadrunner now. And they're Wile E. Coyote.

Trump's just like every room he walks into is a bowling ball candle. That's the third thing. I mean, I don't know what the explosive one is, but the guy is... trying to try to take him out that's what i was hoping with the debate i was hoping so badly where you would just be like you tried to kill me you didn't really go on the one two combo but just to kamala harris just insinuating you guys tried to kill me he didn't really want to go too deep into that no i'll tell you what when you're speaking of kamal what she definitely didn't like doing and especially the media and a lot of them didn't really want to go too deep into that no i'll tell you what when you're speaking of kamal what she definitely didn't like doing and especially the media and a lot of them didn't do it that much even when they were doing the assassination attempt uh coverage they kept saying

trump pivots from second apparent assassination so i watch every article they say apparent assassination attempt they're very careful not to confirm it somebody could have just been hunting yeah it sounds like there's you you know, some of that golf course hunting. Yeah, exactly. Like you do down in Florida. But I was thinking

that that must be their least favorite thing in the universe for them to have to write that tweet, you know, where they're just like, I'm glad he's okay.

That's got to hurt every bone in their body. Yeah. If you're the media, I mean, the media can kind of just stay, we're sorting the news,

but like some, a lot of these politicians have to come out with their like, yeah, glad he's okay. Violence isn't the answer. Winking. Wink. We never the answer. We're fine. Yeah.

It's like, it's literally the, your fucking ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend almost dies and you're, you're supposed to say that you're really good. Dude, imagine Trump had to do a, you know, a, a, a ode to Rosie O'Donnell, like Rosie new boyfriend almost dies and you're supposed to say that you're uh really good dude imagine trump had to do a you know uh ode to rosie o'donnell like rosie o'donnell died and he had to ask him and he had to be like no i'm glad rosie's okay yeah like that fucking hurts their fingers they probably did so many parent drafts they're just they probably think it's bad for like kamala's chances they go this actually just like probably lost her a point of course it always does keep trying to. It gets a little

bump on those assassination attempts, man. Every time you dodge a bullet, you're fucking popping up. Yeah, I mean, that's this one was pretty wild. And then they're like, well, this guy was a Republican. And they're like, no, he was not. I'll tell you what's going on with the Secret Service. They're doing wacky stuff right and left. So some people have said that

their kind of thing is, they're trying to say, listen, golf courses are a pain in the ass for secret service which there is probably some little truth to that where you're just like every time i mean that is true like a golf course you get to know the course real well you know yeah i mean golf course i could see that like a lot of courses unless it's like unless it's like a links course where it's wide open you're like yeah there's a million places someone could be. I would say on the Trump side, you could probably take a day off golf for a few. You might want to take a month.

Dude, Trump was literally like he was most bummed about it. He goes, I was two under when they found him. I have to fucking end my round. If you're Trump right now, you might want to take a day off your huge public. You know what I mean? I mean, this is just spoken to someone who doesn't golf. Well, the Secret Service, a lot of people are kind of saying this puts into question whether the secret service can handle covering him and they're sort of being like i don't know what to do the

guys everywhere we can't do they're sort of yeah throwing their hands up if you were a target like if i was a target for some sort of a set like repeating his own security i mean even still you're like there's just all these places I just wouldn't be. Like, if I was really worried about getting killed. Seems like he's not or something. Yeah, he doesn't care. I think he thinks he has God on his side after the last one. He thinks he's invincible a little bit.

I think so, too. Yeah, I think so. Definitely comes across that way. Some people have said he's a little shaken from the last one, but it appears that he's still out and about. I mean, again, if I was really nervous, I would not be leaving my house, let alone going to a fucking golf course. I definitely wouldn't be out and about in that way.

No, I mean, the Pope's not golfing. He's in his little Popemobile. Well, there has been people... Yeah, that's true. There has been people who have been saying the Secret Service is kind of doing a sloppy job. And they're even sort of saying that, like, wow, he needs too much security

and we got other stuff to do. And our orders have been to, you know, lay off on the security. It does seem like they're fucking. Coming from the top is just, you know. That's what I'm saying. Let some things slide. Definitely. I mean, if you are in any way conspiratorial minded, it starts to make you think, you know what I mean?

Sure. Especially right now after the first assassination attempt. You think there'd be a month where they're just over the top. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you'd think you'd be like, all right, fool me once, but we're definitely not going to let this happen again. Secret Service accidentally includes 9-11 terrorist attack in their post-honoring the

victims. That's another blunder from the service. Oops. What did they do? Didn't you know a Secret Service guy? Didn't we know a Secret Service guy? Yeah, we did. Yeah.

Yeah, that's how you got your shit. Yeah, that's how I got my sweater. Secret Service accidentally includes 9-11 terrorists In post-honoring victims So they basically Probably one of the funniest Blunders in history man

Yeah whoops So they did a 9-11 post And they're basically However amount it was Died They included the people That died

Oh yeah From hijacking the planes Yeah that doesn't count And they said We erroneously Included the total number Of deceased From the said we erroneously included the total number of deceased from the september 11th attack which included the hijackers they apologized for that our bad oops real sloppy over at the suga service well this guy apparently he's a pretty wacky guy

which obviously anytime there's gonna be a guy that is an assassination attempt guy there's gonna be a pretty wacky guy but yeah he wrote it it. He went- Not the first guy. We still don't know anything about him. You don't really know. Wasn't wacky? Well, all we know is that he went and protested in Ukraine. No, I'm talking about the first guy, Thomas Crooks. First guy. Thomas Crooks, who shot him.

We still don't know anything about him. Yeah, sort of. That seems like old news. That was the last assassination attempt. This is the current one. We're off that one we don't care about that he's still living in the past still living in the past two months ago i mean what who is this guy so he wrote this book and he has some interesting parts in the book i'll just read ascendance he goes you are free to assassinate you are free to assassinate trump ruth wrote

of iran in an apparently self-published 2023 title titled ukraine's unwinnable war which he described the former president as a fool and a buffoon he wasn't even in power when they went to war though i know this is weird he goes for both the january 6 2021 capital right and the tremendous blunder of leaving the iran nuclear deal which i'm pretty sure wasn't him either yeah he's that's his that's all he rails about is that biden did that i saw this wacky stuff going on that's why i gave him all this oil money and stuff you know what there's been a ton of lately which is interesting like a lot of these fact-checking places yeah like all these uh media sources they also run fact-checkers just to be like just so you know what trump said's a lie like they do a lot of that and they've been

getting fact-checked a bunch good i mean the abc i don't know do you see the abc it's just so funny being a fact checker like trump will say something and they'll be like one of the ones there was a couple of them seattle times well i mean obviously they got fact-checked because they were basically when he said uh people took over seattle and then they were like actually they did not and then the fact-checkers are like they did yeah we all remember that i don't even need a fact checker there was the surgeries for trans illegal immigrants or whatever, but they were doing these fact checks. And then that's getting fact checked being like,

which is, I mean, it all goes to show you why you're just like, yeah, you can't trust someone to be in charge of information because they're all like wolves. Everybody has an agenda. I mean, even the ABC, there was an ABC whistleblower dude who put out an affidavit and all this stuff saying that he works at ABC. And for the debate that they did on ABC, where he's like, yeah, it was kind of rigged.

It was decided in advance that they would fact check Trump a lot, and they prepared a lot, and basically predicted the type of stuff that he was going to say. And then Kamala Harris was- Who was the whistleblower? They don't know. It's not known. But he released like an affidavit

under penalty of like perjury essentially. What does that mean? Saying like if I'm lying it's a criminal I guess a criminal offense because it's like

an affidavit is like a formal legal document. So if you go I'm lying but you don't get to know who I am. Well no

they know who he is. The people who I think they know who he is I'm just saying it's for public consumption we don't know who he is. But essentially and he they know who he is i'm just saying it's for public consumption we don't we don't know who he is but essentially and he was like kamala harris got a bunch of like essentially i didn't know that you didn't get the questions but got like question examples that were very similar to the question she was asked and like they didn't fact check her at all and they fact checked him i think five times yeah i know that you thought at least

they'd fact check him on the rally part being like we're gonna fact check that his rallies are sick yeah he's the sickest rallies it's like fucking stones concert so and because so since this assassination attempt there's a lot of people that have been getting in trouble local funny man elon musk in trouble don lemon don lemon the elon musk tweet was yeah i know well the don lemon one was well look at both Don Lemon, he was slammed for mocking the video of Melania Trump asking questions about the assassination. So she's basically like, what's going on here? He's sort of playing it cool, being like, you know, they did a good job, and she's out

there being like, what's going on here, folks? Yeah, what's going on? He posted a video of him responding to it where he rolls his eyes and he goes, and to be honest, some people were saying it was, you know, not tactful or whatever or whatever obviously but i kind of don't mind that don lemon's just back to being a sassy gay that is where he belongs he's a sassy gay tiktoker he's a sassy gay tiktoker he's not don lemon of cnn right and he sort of it suits him better to be completely honest him making tiktoks of him rolling his eyes at melania trump actually is his personality yeah i mean joe rogan says it but

what's the point of having fuck you money unless you use it you know right he has fuck you money don lemon's got some fuck you money and i think he has reverted back a little bit i know he's doing the street interviews he still obviously wants fame and he wants to get back in the limelight but him rolling his eyes at melania that is who he is yeah for sure so i kind of don't mind him because you're being honest. You're a sassy gay TikToker. Yep, you're a sassy gay TikToker. That's it.

So Elon Musk, local funny man. Local funny man. He says, no one is even trying to assassinate Biden Kamala. And then, you know, the thinky face. The thinky face, yeah. And then he was like, oh, that was a sarcastic joke. Well, you know this crushed in the chat groups with his tech bros. Yeah.

You can almost guarantee that he was in a few chat groups where this was rocked. That's grounds for the FBI showing up at your house. That's for sure. Did you see the Jeremy Coffin thing? What, the who? Jeremy Coffin. No. The New Hampshire Libertarian guy.

What did he do? Oh, he's a man. But I think he runs the new hampshire libertarian account okay and he's like the free state project guy or whatever i don't really know what this stuff is i met him before anyways he's a libertarian guy from new hampshire and uh he tweeted i think something that's a pretty veiled like uh assassination thing where essentially like something similar to elon musk and then the fbi showed up it has like 30 million views on twitter but the fbi showed up to his house to question him about it and then he just absolutely berates them like oh i saw that yeah and he just shit talks them and essentially

until they just leave oh it's like the canada one where the guy showed up fucking right you're gonna be getting used to us bud yeah exactly yeah yeah And then he just gives them shit and they leave. Well, it is funny how he's looking at what's going on in Canada because basically, I don't know if you saw, but basically,

this woman had a squirt gun and then she squirted her neighbor and the neighbor said that she fucking assaulted her with a weapon. The police came and put the person with the squirt gun in jail. And then she had to GoFundMe

and GoFundMe shut down her GoFundMe. She had to GoFundMe for her fucking legal case. She's like a teacher or something that's the ultimate karen you get shot with a squirt gun you call the police yeah but it's the karen was a dude i know i know neighbor guy and she just was like dorky ass dude i mean i'm sure there's a little more to the story but regardless like getting shot with a squirt gun

in small town ontario and like simcoe county and you're like i'm fucking calling the police so the fbi showed up to this guy's house to dress him down for making his tweet. They wanted, they just, we asked some questions. It's so funny because, because I'm curious how busy these two FBI agents were during, you know, 2016 to 2020

when there was like, you know, 5,000 daily threats on Trump's life. I'm sure they were going to every one of those people's homes. So you think you're saying that right now they're... Oh, all of a sudden they care again. They go, oh, it's serious now. They keep trying to kill Trump or whatever. But now they care again. And so then...

Because that was the protocol. Like before 2016, it was kind of understood that if you make a public threat against the president, you are receiving a visit. Yeah. Like that was everybody goes, yeah, you can't do that. And then it was four years of like yeah you could totally do that that's totally fine go ahead threaten him out kathy griffin got shit for hers though she got shit for hers yeah yeah but i'm saying she didn't really get shit she just sort of got like uh shit in her career she

didn't probably well i think she said she was she might have got some caa i think she had difficulty flying for a bit like she was getting secondary inspections and whatnot. But anyways, a regular person on the internet during Obama, if you're like, I'm going to kill Obama, you're like, someone's showing up to your house. Of course. With bells on. With bells on.

And then they showed up with Jerry and Coffin. These two FBI agents. He's videotaping them. They're like, can you please not videotape us? He's like, dude, I'm videotaping them. They're like, can you please not videotape us? He's like, dude. He's like, I'm videotaping this. This is going on the internet the second you leave. Like he was telling that.

These guys hated it. They hated having it. It seemed like some of these, some of the guys probably work at these places. Probably like, you think I want to be fucking doing this, pal? I mean. This is the equivalent. The question is, why do they have so much free time? It's the equivalent of me getting the graveyard shift.

Yeah. Like that. Yeah. But also they're like, there's not much else for them to do right there's so many you know the fbi probably is expanding on an annual basis like their employees so there's there's probably just not that much stuff to do so now they're back to hey i guess we're gonna check in the tweets there probably is i wonder if they keep expanding the amount of people that are in charge of going knocking on doors jehovah's witness style to be like,

did you try to, did you threat the president? Yeah. And you go, which one? Yeah. No, Trump a lot.

No, not the, not the new one though. Well, you on muscle local funny man's been in hot water for his, because he can't, he basically people were mad. He was just like,

I was joking, which I, I do actually believe. Cause that is like classic. That is classic type of a message that would be happening in a fucking austin yeah yeah i don't think he was serious he's like wink wink every no obviously not serious his joke was i think in my opinion tell me if i'm wrong my opinion is his joke was she's so crappy no one even tries to assassinate her yeah i think that was the point he's making. Yeah. And he probably got like fucking nine out of ten ha-has in the group.

Yeah. Killer Elon. Post it. Post it. Post it. Fucking cock Elon. Post it. And he goes, all right.

Crushed it again. How do you do it? How do you do it? It's a lower bar for you. You are the new onion, Elon. I guarantee he was getting that. Elon, you are currently 2005 onion right now with what you're tweeting. I think he dropped that six or seven times before he made it to his profile.

Yeah, for sure. Who's crushing. You know, audience is everything, right? Yeah. Because he thought that was tried and tested material that he was dropping. Yeah, that's a good thing to send to your 200 million followers. Same with his... And then he goes, Yeah, that's a good thing to send to your 200 million followers. Same with his...

And then he goes, Elon Musk's daughter responds to him for saying that he wanted to impregnate Taylor Swift. So as another one, he goes, fine, Taylor, after they were going back and forth because she endorsed... Kamala. Which, by the way, the polling was showing that it didn't actually help.

People were saying, I don't know if it's true or not, but the polling was saying that after... Oh, when they polled 13-year-olds, it didn't help with Kamala Harris's... No, they polled undecided people, and apparently the Taylor Swift tweet actually turned them off a little bit. Oh, yeah. That's what they said. I don't know. Yeah, maybe.

Elon Musk's daughter responds, because he said, fine, Taylor, you win. I will give you a child and guard your cats with my life. And then Hillary Clinton responded to this being like, he means rape. Hillary Clinton needs to jump the conclusions map on that one. He should have said, I'll sire you a child. That would have been more appropriate.

I think that's what Hillary Clinton, you know what her life's like. Even when Bill Clinton, probably back in the day, was like, I'm going to give you a child. She's like, I will give you a child. Oh, Hill life's like, even when Bill Clinton, probably back in the day, was like, I'm going to give you a child. She's like, I will give you a child. Oh, Hilldog, no. I'm going to give you a child, Hillary. You're going to rape me?

You're going to rape me? So a little bit of a jump to conclusions. Yeah, that's a bit of a stretch. Bit of a stretch, but he has been going off on Twitter and he's been getting in trouble. But the funny part to this was me, was his daughter response. So his daughter's becoming a problem for him. She's because everything she posts becomes news, right? Every time his trans daughter goes against him, every news station's like, fucking get

him. You know what I mean? Yeah. Heinous incel nonsense is in fact heinous incel nonsense. Funny calling your biological father an incel. Fucked your mom. Yeah, exactly. I made you.

Not exactly. You're celibate. Calling your dad's incel is the best because he smashed your mom. Yeah, I know. It's crazy. Incel just doesn't even mean incel anymore. I know. At all.

I don't really have anything to add to it. It's just abhorrent. That much is obvious. If you don't see how, then you're part of the problem. Yeah, calling your dad an incel is incredible and then trump wrote i hate taylor swift that caught ruffles and feathers so people's tweets that was a weird truth of his a lot of tweets have been news recently i hate taylor swift yeah i didn't i thought that was a fucking crappy tweet that was not one of the best ones oh it was back to his 12 year old girl era girl era. Yeah, I think that was a little... Was that an early day one?

Because I was listening to Trump on Lex Friedman, and Trump basically said that he stops tweeting after like 2 p.m. That's his new thing? Yeah, he goes, I don't tweet late at all. Because one, he gets in shit for it, because then people are like, what are you doing up late tweeting? And he goes, you don't even know what time zone I'm in. I don't think he even said that.

He goes, you don't know what time zone I'm in. I feel like he even said that. He goes, you don't know what time zone I'm in. Like, how do you know where I am? But then he's like, I got so much shit for tweeting late. So he goes, I only just do it. That's a pretty good rule for him. Yeah, during the day. Yeah, he might. Or schedule them.

You know what I mean? Schedule them. No, they come from the dome. I know they come from the heart and from the dome. Trump does not operate that way. But then what they should do is Hey Tom can you schedule my I hate Taylor Swift tweet

Then you wake up in the morning And see if you still want to fucking bang it out You know Nah I don't know There's no sober thought on these tweets He's definitely coming from the dome I hate Taylor Swift I didn't find was a great tweet Nah I don't know what that was

But I was thinking if the assassination attempt did work that'd be a funny last tweet it's so crazy though because you're like obviously taylor swift last kamala harris yeah who else is she gonna endorse well some people weren't sure if she was gonna come out with it yeah but that's i mean honestly she gets it from both sides though because i don't know if you know this but on the other side they all call her like a closet republican so like a lot of the dems democrat people online are just like she's a fucking actually a republican country star liar she doesn't i'm sure at least half her audience is at least the parents anyways are probably republicans she sort of gets it both ways because the people that she says she's got, you know, that's a big sort of Democrat thing, right?

You say you're a Democrat and they go, no, you're fucking not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did see something there where some mom was like, after that she endorsed Kamala Harris, some mom sold her kids tickets because then she's like,

we're not a Taylor Swift family anymore. Oh, yeah? I'm glad there was a few of that. It's funny. Dump the tickets. It's like the Pepsi and fucking Nike all over again. I mean, you probably made some money on this. Yeah, gonna go on a nice vacation yeah well i think that's what's

happened the daughter is like why can't i go to taylor swift anymore and she's like i don't think you saw what happened so we have to get her two thousand dollar refund i'm gonna have to sell these for fucking 5k a pop so sorry the first thing i do every morning fellas when i wake up is ag1 dann Danny's on it. I'm on it. At this point, it's been years. It's coffee. You got the system.

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the $50 bonus. It's guaranteed. PrizePix, run your game. Well, one of the funniest things to me is always that with Elon Musk, obviously if you're like a climate activist, all that sort of stuff, you've had a hate for him. Like this guy is not,

you know, you've wanted to hate him, but in this weird way, they can't because he's kind of like the environmental guy, you know? He's an environmentalist but they finally found their loophole so these climate protesters breaking into the tesla's germany factory multiple people got arrested they're busting in and what they basically said was he's trying to expand the factory to make more electric cars yes which is they're but they're

digging for a loophole because they started it was like they probably had these you know they've been probably racking their brains being like we know we don't like this yeah we hate this guy how how does this fit in right it still doesn't even make sense they know they can be the speech guy they're like we're not really a speech club we're kind of fucking climate people yeah we can't dip too far into that so they're digging around and then they find out they're like he's expanding his he's like, he's expanding his, and he's like, well, he's expanding his factory. And to do that, he's going to have to tear down some of the grass or whatever. Oh, yeah, some wetlands or some shit.

Right. So they finally, this must have been like Eureka. The guy came in after an all-nighter being like, I got it. That's still, that makes, was someone like, well, but it's to make more electric cars. Well, they haven't gotten that far. It's good enough, man. It'll have to do. May I interject?

I just have a note. Well, I think that these people, that's probably as bad as having to write the sympathy tweet about Trump's assassination. These people have to not hate Elon Musk, technically, right? So they finally found their loophole. They can't find a problem with the rockets or something? I feel like they should have just stayed away from the Teslas

and find one of his other businesses, but that's not their thing though. They're the environmental people. You're saying find some environmental problem with the carbon from the rockets. exactly. The satellites, you know,

this is what they came up with. All right. Well, they're, they're, they're busy people. They don't have tons of brainstorming. No,

or tons of brain. Exactly. Fucking got them. Turkeys. These turkeys don't have enough brain nope well like speaking of kathy griffin this is what she said she fears if comedian donald trump becomes president again he's gonna pick us off one by one she's basically saying trump's gonna kill them i can't wait for the nuremberg trials of all the late night hosts just seth meyers colbert kimmel fallon all in just like a fucking plexiglass box

those are being put on trial for war crimes yeah yeah he's gonna pick us off one by one like bowling pins and i'm not kidding and i'm not being paranoid so i think you're probably you know i mean i agree you're not kidding i think trump's gonna kill jimmy kimmel i don't think so pick going to kill Jimmy Kimmel. I don't think so. Pick him off like bowling pins. He might say some mean tweets at you, yeah. I mean, I think this is the whole late night thing is just taking care of itself.

I don't think you have to worry too much about it. It's just going to eventually atrophy. I mean, Tonight Show just dropped a day. I guess their argument is like we have a lot of viewers. They're just online. Yeah. But you can't have like a 90-person staff you know or 90 200 you can have a 200 person staff when you you know you have just have a youtube video every week that does a few million views like they're running a youtube channel with a but they're running it like an old school tv network i think the thing is they

get their ads probably sell for way more money and they have way more of them but that gap is closing yeah you know the gap is closing. Yeah. You know, the gap is closing. Actually, you know what? Maybe we could have a Nuremberg trial for Strike Force 5. That was something that should have never happened. I guess some of these guys could transfer over and get some of these big Netflix deals and stuff like that,

but I don't know if the numbers of watching is going to justify it for them. No. No, nobody watches that shit. They just watch the clips on YouTube. Right, but you don't make enough money for the clips on YouTube. No. To have 90,000. You're not making that like Procter & Gamble money.

Yeah, so I don't know what's going to happen. What other comedians do you think are on the chopping block if Trump gets elected? She thinks it's the late night host. Her and Rosie O'Donnell. Chelsea Handler. Yeah. Yeah, she thinks it's going to be one by one. I mean, maybe Logan because they had their little beef.

Yeah, I think that's sorted now. Now, in her heart of hearts, Rogan will be spared by the benevolent Trump. One of the weirdest times that I've been alive, man. The shit that's going on. You know, it's crazy. You ever been... Remember when we were in Europe,

and we were doing six percent zins and then we switched and the guy showed up with the 13th 13 zins yeah and then we took one and you're like this is crazy by number two it feels exactly normal yeah that's what's happening with the world right now i mean yeah i mean a trump assassination attempt and you're just like uh-huh there's one on the way here yeah i don't know on the way here they're like we found we found a bunch of me and johnny were filming me and johnny literally filmed a video about the other assassination attempt and on the way back from that we read that there's another potential one happening yeah you can't even go ahead this video might be stale by the time i put it out tomorrow i mean nima

actually did a video of that essentially saying that where our buddy neiman has he did a little video on instagram just being like back in the day if there's an assassination attempt on the president it was like drop everything now you're like oh that's fucking crazy anyways yeah i mean dude everybody was like that's like a whole thing in america everyone goes i remember exactly where i was when kennedy was assassinated you ask any person of that age they go i know i remember where I was the last Trombone because I was out in fucking Muskoka, Ontario and I wanted to come back.

Ryan is like in the woods trying to get a bar internet so he could fucking post some snarky tweets. God, I have bangers! I actually do remember where I was. But really right now,

it is more than ever in my life where it's just like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. That's what it's doing. That's the shots. That's the pagers exploding. And then on top of that, all these old rock stars are fucking getting back together to do tours. I mean, the Oasis one,

I guess that'd be kind of cool. They just need money no they don't you're fucking out of your mind if you think leap gallagher needs cash i mean you always want money but they want it no because their own projects do well yeah like you don't understand i think what people forget about oasis is like they were another random uh fucking they were another random band in america and canada bit. They're like the Beatles. But over there, they're as big as it gets. They really sit there in this higher position. It's like Wembley Stadium every show.

Yeah, Ricky Gervais is big here, but he's not. Probably Louis C.K.'s bigger, maybe you might say, or whatever. He's up there with those guys. There, he's like the guy. Yeah, he goes, I'm testing out new material in front of 15 000 people yeah yeah so i think that's oasis is like this they're in every you know here it was like oh remember oasis yeah they're the guys are on the internet being funny kind of there it's like they get every move they make is like their tmz they get queen treatment like right it's a big deal yeah they're big big but jane's addiction went back out there perry farrell and uh and dave navarro i guess that's over yeah oh i mean that was hard to watch

it's just like really really seemed like some fucking geezers and we talked about before because jane's addiction his old wife was doing articles about right like i don't get enough credit about that she doesn't get enough credit so it's karma and basically it was over uh the vocals not being loud enough and that's what the whole start well they were i think from what i understood is that he was kind of started rambling and then they started speeding up the tempo to just finish the song quicker and then he was mad because he figured out what was going on but he seemed like all fucked up they all hate each other they all hate each other i'll just but he was saying also that his voice was they kept turning

down his voice so he had to be yelling. You can relate. Oh, I can relate? That's what I'm saying. To you, last episode, you tried to turn my... Well, I thought it was mine. We almost had a similar situation because Danny kept turning my fucking headphones down. It was. So I actually feel what Perry Farrell is.

And I'll just reiterate, because last week we were talking, I actually do like Jane's Addiction. I think they're pretty sick Yeah I mean I like three songs But I'm sure that

You know I don't know Track nine on the albums Or whatever Entourage theme song No I like Been Caught Stealing Yeah

Jane Says That's really those two The other That's really the two That are on my thing Yeah I guess Porno for Pyro Is like kind of cool

For a second Yeah yeah You go see them They just play the new album But I was thinking more Because obviously that are on my thing. Yeah. I guess Porno for Pyro is like kind of cool for a second. Yeah, yeah. You go see them, they just play the new album. But I was thinking more because obviously when I said Nirvana is overrated band,

I got maybe more hate than I've ever got for anything ever. I stand by that. You see, I was getting personal messages from people being like, you got it wrong, pal.

Saw the hate, stand by my hate. Let me just, this is where, I've even kind of said this on this podcast but whenever i think about comedy it's like what you're always what and i've kind of said comedy a lot of times is like inefficiency in the market a lot of times you're just like the same way that if someone was like this guy's amazing and he was like average you'd be like he's not amazing before you know what you're kind of like you know you guys think he's way better

than he is yeah but if someone says someone sucks and you're like he's all right yeah it's so to me it was it's not it's like nickel band nickelback isn't the worst band in the world and nirvana isn't the best band in the world and to me all those bands when you go nirvana i said this is how you remind me you go this is how you remind me i don't not some i was never some big nickelback fan but if you take the song this is how remind Me by Nickelback and you change one note, this is how you remind me. One note that is in your Vana song. Sure. I will also go, when we talk about Pearl Jam, people think of as cool.

Creed, people think of as lame. Tell me, Jeremy's floating. Is that different from, with arms wide open? Yeah. Are they that different they should be in the same genre the thing is that it's the fan bases that dictate

how people feel about these it's what happened with country music for a long time where you go I hate the people who go to this just like I hate the people who go to Nickelback and there's a very adversarial thing where you go like I'm not like them like the people who go to nickelback right and and there's a very adversarial thing where you go like i'm not like them like the people who go to the shows i like are cool people who go to their shows are

lame yes and there's a bit of an elitist component absolutely there's an elitist component like it was very much like look at these fucking white trash who go to nickelback like fuck them fuck nickelback all that shit everyone started saying which also, that's probably the first time it made me question, like, are these guys kidding? I always kind of thought they were like an ironic band to kind of funnily like,

but they even did a documentary and they were just like, you know, we kind of skyrocketed and we were this big band and then overnight, we became like a punchline and we were like,

what the fuck? Yeah, what happened? Yeah, they probably were like, what the hell? And it was just like, I mean, country music was like that for a very long time where people just like yeah i just hate the fan base i just sure don't identify with them at all and you know i don't like the fan base they're all probably just like republican like southern people and then people

just like yeah i don't like them it doesn't matter if i'm listening to a radio and nirvana comes on instant turn off sure i Turn it off every time. And I might, if some Nickelback bangers come on, I might not turn them off. Well, because it's sort of ironic a bit. I mean, they have some catchy songs. I'm not going on a record backing Nickelback. But yes, when they come on, it's almost like funny. When Nirvana comes on, it's almost like everyone has to pretend how great they are.

Yeah, I don't know yeah sounds like i'm being contrarian but tell me that creed and uh pearl jam you change a few notes yeah they're similar for sure it's not that different i think pearl jam hard to compare because pro jam has so many hits oh yeah creed doesn't have hits they have not the same amount i don't know creed how many i mean i'm trying to think of just ones i know okay arms wide open can you take is that the same song okay one last breath higher my sacrifice with arms wide open my own prison okay i don't even know my own prison neither do i but i know i know four of them dude fucking

pearl jam 10 was like all hits that whole song that whole album do you remember the jamie candy uh sketch so jamie candy we were like i always you know i was hanging out with him and chatting with him at skank fest and he's like i always thought uh jamie candy experiment was like one of the funniest shows ever hilarious posted one again recently where he's the lifeguard and then he goes and pees and he tells everyone hey everyone you got to give me a second i gotta go to the bathroom and then he walks into the pool and then pees and then uh and then he walks back on the lifeguard stand and he blows the whistle he goes everyone back in but there was a one of the things he goes to like a spring break situation they spread a rumor that creed's coming yeah and so they spread

they go tell everyone creed's coming and everyone's getting pumped up and everyone's chanting creed creed and then finally they like they uh they build it all up and then the curtain comes down and he's standing there in the acoustic guitar and he's chris creed and it's spelled k-r-e-e-d he goes chris creed and his song he goes no drugs No booze! You snooze! You lose! I'm high, I'm high on life! Boo! It's all these bros on spring break thinking that Creed's coming. It's Chris Creed.

Chris Creed. That was one of the best ones ever. That was a great show. Oh yeah, definitely. I just actually got back from Toronto. A lot of people were fucking saying what's up to the boys at um in the airport nice which was good i always thought it was it kind of reminded you remember uh did i ever tell you the probably the most awkward one i ever had in tulum i think i probably told you but when i went to tulum we had to release the podcast and

sometimes i go through it to like approve clips and stuff like that. Yeah. So a guy came up to me, and I was on the beach in Tulum, and he comes up, and he was like, dude, Ryan Long? He's like, that's crazy. He was like, I wasn't sure if it was you, but then I saw you were listening to the boys' cast. I was on the beach watching the video.

I was just like, no, I have. No, I'm working i have i i'm finding the clay i have to approve the time stamps for the clips the guy no no i like the podcast too man i like just two of us who like fucking is in grain he probably be listening right now that shit's ingrained into my brain dude i like all night long i was just like fuck yeah i'll never live this down guy caught me on the fucking beach in tulum watching boys cast oh no no i was just this is someone sent it to me my own podcast yeah i wasn't sure it's you but then i saw you watching i have to prove the clips just looking for clips i'm mortified i go let's get shit anyways okay so we talked about naval last week yeah and i've always kind of

thought you know him we always really like balaji that's why we had him on the podcast there's a few of those guys that i always just thought indian guys smarter than people I kind of put Eric Weinstein Peter Thiel in that category A little bit But Naval Since we talked about it I kind of was like Okay let me go listen To some of his bangers He had this tweet storm

How to build wealth Do you remember that? Yeah yeah And then I just wrote down A couple of the clips Because they were like Fucking banger

Banger quotes Sorry not clips He goes He goes If you want to be If you want to be happy Surround yourself with people that are lower than you. If you want to be successful, surround yourself with people that are higher than you. Sure.

I thought that was such an interesting one because people always think of them together. But it's like there is an inverse correlation always between happiness and success. Sure. And I think some people always, they always go back and forth being like, I'll be less happy like this. I'll be less successful. You're like, yeah, it is somewhat inverse correlated until it isn't, and then you can...

Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. But for a period, it is. Yeah, that was... He's a big... The most important thing in the world is compounding, whether that be relationships, whether that be money, everything. You should be playing long-term games with long-term people.

That's a big him one. But the number one one, which I've sort of said about myself in worse ways but he put a very big uh button on it he goes most of life is searching for who and what needs you the most yeah and i've even said that sometimes they'll be kind of in culture or whatever it is and i'm just kind of like eh like i could say something here but it's like you know enough people are saying it i don't know if i'd be specifically better at making this point yeah and you can't and then there's other times where you're like oh i think my specific set of skills would be the best one to sort of say this

sure and you kind of being a being in tune with that or whatever so i thought that was such a good way to look at and even probably people and you're like but yeah life is a search for who and what needs you the most yeah and then he was talking about politics and he goes put your enemy in charge and see how fair it is well you know that's an obvious one that a million people say but that's the that's the free speech thing you know yeah you want to have a fucking misinformation bureau wait till trump takes over and runs it right how you gonna like that that's exactly it which is crazy because it seems the most common sense thing that if you told that to somebody they'd be like no i wouldn't make that much sense to them that wouldn't make that much sense to them and then the last one i thought was just a notable quote he said uh and this may not be him but it was art is art for arts for its own

sake art is for its own sake yeah so i think that a lot of times when people you know you'll see things that are like propaganda and it's really that's the that is the meaning is like there was a different purpose for this other than art whether that be to whether that be changing people's opinions or money but a lot of times when you go when you make something and your whole purpose of making it you're like i think this is sick yeah not like this will help i think a lot of people in culture will talk about like how this helps the movement or this helps that or this helps this well it is though right yeah and you go well what is it really it goes art is art for its own sake yeah

i mean a lot of the good art is yeah and it can have and it will have other purposes like it's gonna change things but you go that is not the purpose of it yeah the purpose of it's not commerce commerce or uh i guess what would be the better word for when it's propaganda commerce or shifting opinion yeah yeah like opinion opinion uh yeah but i thought that was the yeah best way to describe but anyways that guy's bangers i would i would check out that how to build wealth i thought it was like it was based on this like tweet storm he did yeah that was like the first tweet that's like when he showed up to twitter i think that was either right before he went on Rogan. Maybe he had just been on Tim Ferriss or something. Yeah, when he first came out, he's the angel list guy.

And then he started getting involved in philosophy and politics and stuff. Yeah, he's a man. So this woman says, I wear black to my friend's weddings so I can mourn for the bride. Shut up. Lots of people wear black to weddings. Do a lot of people wear black to weddings? Not the bride. Shut up. Lots of people wear black to weddings. Do a lot of people wear black to weddings? Not the bride.

Women? Wear a black dress? I don't think that's so crazy. Oh, I guess so. It's like she's trying to make a whole thing out of literally nothing. You're trying to make yourself the center of attention here. Your friend doesn't give a shit that you wear a black dress. Your friend cares that you won't shut up about it. Well, that's definitely true.

You go, you want to know why I'm wearing a black dress? You go, you're fat. Letting yourself go a little bit and you just want to kind of like the way the shadows. I wear black to the wedding so I can mourn the bride and I'm fat. Yeah. It's just because it makes you look slimmer. No. No.

No. It has nothing to do with the fact that it slims me no it's because i'm mourning your your life my girlfriend zoe called to announce the engagement somehow i dug up the energy and attempted to make my words of congratulations sound authentic she sighed heavily on the phone she's taking pride in the fact that her friends sighed heavily on the phone she goes all she asked was for me to promise to not wear black to her wedding i'm that friend the woman who doesn't ask to see your engagement ring hey do you want to see my engagement ring no no does it look like a ring yeah is it a rock the one who doesn't get excited about shopping i see i almost did this at

danny's wedding i i wear a toga to my friend's wedding to mourn the loss. Guy, I tell you, I wouldn't have given a shit. Ryan, can you please just not bring the beer funnel? I go, a wedding is not a time for celebration. I will be wearing my skeleton outfit with coffins on it. My beer hat. My beer funnel hat. And I will have a toga.

And boy, yes, I will be making an objection. Sure. And you go, okay. All right, I guess. Black is my standard uniform for weddings because as a 40-year-old woman, I no longer get lost in the romance. I see, too, the realities of marriage for women.

So it's funny because, too, there's like, her whole point is blah, blah, blah. She goes, marriage is worse for women. it's funny because too there's like her whole point is blah blah blah she goes marriage is worse for women she goes through all the standard arguments uh however why would that be any different if these people lived together before which is mostly the case you go what's the difference now the only difference now is maybe she gets some cash if they break up yeah there's no difference and again lots of people wear black to weddings it's not that crazy i could see this girl having a business model where guys hire her to hang out with her chick if she wants to get married and you're kind of pushing the can down the road and you show up you go hang out with this girl she's like there she's anti-marriage feminist

yeah you're you're you're not you're a feminist aren't you the the anti-marriage feminist chick could definitely be hired as you know sure where you hey where are you gonna be tomorrow i want you to meet someone yeah i mean the only thing guys just piling up in line is if she's like hey i want you in the bridal party and you're like these are the dresses you're wearing she goes uh no no uh unless they're black unless everybody wants to wear the same dress i'm wearing but otherwise i'll just be wearing a black dress and i will also be wearing a widow's veil. Yeah, see the veil would be better. If you want to wear the veil, I go

okay, that's fucking weird. You're wearing it at a wedding and you've just got the veil over your face. Do we have any objections? No objections, just a comment here. Both your funerals. She's got to say this in the speech though too. Marriage isn't even a good long-term bet with a high percentage of them sister preach from the heavens yeah telling you telling me some guys

wouldn't want this girl to have a word with their chick yeah most of them end up in divorce within the first 10 years furthermore two-thirds of divorces are initiated by women sure so it's funny too because she's having this speech around the uh the guy too and the girl's like can you shut the fuck up he's like has to act like he doesn't know these things he goes really what the fuck really two-thirds of women huh this seems like maybe i shouldn't do this shut up so that's a wacky girl right there yeah that's uh really annoying can't even suck it up for two seconds for someone else to want that no and you're like okay we get it you own one dress never article being like oh yeah i just realized i'm selfish narcissist yeah no this is if she

does realize she's nurses she's writing blogs for mama mia that's kind of prerequisite this one's uh tango i think this is your tango I think But we got a Yahoo article They got another gay guy I've been loving these by the way We'll just turn Turn in every character gay Because it's coming out right now Was Abraham Lincoln gay?

The new documentary The name is fucking crushing me New Abraham Lincoln I mean they should have went with Abraham Lincoln. Well, that's a missed opportunity if it's not Gabriel Lincoln. Lover of men. New documentary about Abraham Lincoln

called Lover of Men. Freed the cum slaves. Guys, after Danny passes away from his morbid obesity, we are going to be writing the Danny Poloshuk story, Man Addict. Addicted to men. Addicted to men. This never gets old for me.

It's just dying, and then 100 years later, someone does your biography, and they call it Never Enough Men. He's like, I'm not gay. Debates over Abraham Lincoln's private life have lingered for years. They have not lingered for years. They started lingering three years ago. I mean, this is kind of the first time.

And it's so funny, because you're like, yeah, he stayed with a buddy of his for a few weeks exactly 1812 that's pretty dubious his upcoming documentary a lover of men lover of men's crushing hitting theaters september 6th takes joaquin phoenix the dream probably was so mad that he didn't get this role no that's daniel day lewis territory daniel day lewis probably wanted this territory until he found out the name of the film what he's gay i'm not doing it he goes why would we do a abraham lincoln part two he kind of got everything kind of i sort of already did this you go no but you don't understand our new one shaft fiend is gonna cover stuff that the old one didn't he's like i died at the end what else is there to even do the rod hound the abraham lincoln story imagine fucking

daniel day lewis signs up because remember the whole thing was he was he was lincoln for like four months but then he's gay lincoln oh yeah you're you're a method acting oh we should probably tell you one thing before you start your method acting yeah the film is called uh gagging on nine inches hanging out in bathhouses and shit big stove time stove pipe they called him a queer icon throughout his life a story some well some historians maintain that he was heterosexual there's a few still holdouts there's a few holdouts wait do we do we end up with the john wilkes booth was just like a jilted lover? Possibly, yeah. Was that a domestic? I'd have to watch. I mean, I haven't seen

Lover of Men personally. You're going to have to watch Lover of Men and get back to me. Others argue that Lincoln was a queer icon, a race from history. Sure. A queer icon is definitely pushing it. Based on nothing.

So their side of the story is he came in from freeing the slaves and he was like yeah definitely it's very important free the slaves comes in he goes oh finally all this slave talk has made me thirsty yeah but like literally one of the things is like they're like yeah he stayed with uh a guy he had a roommate he had one of his boys you know what they said about guys back in the day who had roommates my roommate yeah oh you said a room i can read between the fucking lines gabraham beard wasn't his only beard gabraham dinkin got him lover of men yeah you think they're gonna like as a publicity stunt they're gonna go to the lincoln memorial and just like put some gay shit on them glitter it up just the rainbows all over

yeah he would have loved that to face the lincoln memorial the intimate world of abraham lincoln which faced put so there was an original a book called the intimate world of so they originally someone wrote a book being like nah nah, he's gay, bro. And then basically a lot of scholars were like, stop calling him gay. He's not. And then they decided to take that book and make a movie out of it. Now, here's the thing. I think the people that do this are pussies because they only do white guys.

They never have the guts, really. You never hear like Gagas Khan. They never really do iconscons that aren't white Because they don't have Martin Luther King or something They don't have the cojones To be like Martin Luther King was gay

Yeah well Fucking say Martin Luther King Was gay And then go walk around Martin Luther King Boulevard Exactly They only have the fucking cojones To hit up white dudes with this

Which shows just how much Of pussies they are Because they've been calling They go you know Napoleon They've been trying to say bye They're like the Romans are gay It's like okay Talk about some uh you know one

of the muhammad's yeah just just the muhammad go osama bin laden was gay you never you never see them having the guts to do that one osama bin sucking and he had a very slender frame or hey spend a lot of time in those caves i don't know what was going on osama bin laden power bottom that's pretty good. Yeah. But doesn't it seem like kind of a pussy move? Yeah. Because if you're like, hey, if you actually think all these guys are gay and it's good,

then why don't you pick some black dudes and start talking about which ones of them are gay? And they're like, nah. We don't have the guts. That's the reason. They don't have the fucking cojones. Martin Luther King Jr. Pause. The book.

That's the problem, though. They don't have the fucking cojones. They're King Jr. Pause. The book. That's the problem, though. They don't have the fucking cojones. They're cojone-less men. They'll get to them. Whereas, yeah. Like Lincoln. They fucking go

to the stop sign. They stop immediately. They stop at yellows. One, one thousand. Exactly. One thousand, three one thousand. These people who wrote this

have never yielded at a stop sign in their fucking life, man. The cojone-less men. It's just fucking flat. Ken's a bunch of them. Stouffer hopes the documentary will challenge perceptions of American history and LGBTQ acceptance. And so their theory is everyone, somehow this is going to make people like gay people more.

If anything, it's just annoying people. It's like, stop saying everyone's gay I mean again you have no proof you have no proof other than you never see the other way around Freddie Mercury was straight that was he was quite gay well you never see the other way where they do a documentary about a gay guy and then they go jokes on you

the Freddie Mercury story no dudes allowed all those Liberace. Exactly. Trying not to be a flamboyant straight guy. We had it all wrong. Yeah, so the only thing they do is gay up white historical figures, which shows you they don't have the cajons. Yeah, they don't have the balls.

They fucking ball-less, man. No huevos. Definitely no huevos, man. All strikes, no balls. All going on strike a large number of americans define the united states as a heterosexual nation just a large number i don't think we do i don't think we make a call either no one ever finds it but if you were to say what are the majority of people here sure you go some people are saying the majority of people are straight and you go they are they are don't know what to tell you.

I just, I guess if you want to say that. North Korea, that's a gay nation. That's a gay ass nation. America ain't no fucking gay nation. Maybe Japan's a little gay. You know what the gayest nation is? Donation. That's the Jewish nation.

So a lot of people say that the Jewish, a lot of people say the Jewish nation is Israel, the least Jewish nation. Ethno state. Ethno state with no Jews. No Jews. Donation. Nation, that was Hitler's dream. The nation of donation.

The nation of donation. Not going to find any. So to call Lincoln gay threatens them. Do you feel threatened by this? Kind of. I don't like this revisionist history of business. Don't love it either. I don't think it threatens me though. I think if

anything it fucking, it does make you feel like, okay, you can't believe a word these guys say because they're fucking fucking. The thing is, they're always trying to be like, even if they're right once, even if one of these guys happen to they're fucking... The thing is, they're always trying to be like... And even if they're right once, they're... Even if one of these guys happened to have some fucking Jamaican style on the down low. Yeah. But you go, 95% of them are this guy's gay, that guy's gay was wrong.

Yeah, but also these are the same people who are like, you know, there's no gay agenda. But also, Abraham Lincoln was gay. I'll tell you what else these people are the same people that say no, everyone's a conspiracy theorist. Yeah. They go, look, we need to get rid of these conspiracy theories. Anyways, fucking Abe Lincoln was sucking cock in the White House. It was a bummer. No pun intended.

Yeah. So they're saying it does that, that it threatens people. Anyways, we'll watch. Heterosexual Nation wouldn't be the worst name for a stand-up special. There you go. This film is to get under the skin of the haters the lincoln haters they're saying the people that don't think that everyone's gay it's gonna get you're like if you are a lincoln historian there's they're gonna get under your skin you're like well

yeah you might be able to get under my skin for being how wrong it probably is the people of the south the people who want to secede well yeah you and you and them are now pals they want to get under the skin of the haters as a way to open the door to greater LGBTQ acceptance. I don't think that's been working. No. I mean, look at the stats. Has your attempt to get under people's skin

with gay stuff made them like gay stuff more? We're done accepting. No more. We're not accepting any more applicants. We're done. We've had enough. The time has come for this to be accepted and embraced Come is spelled C-U-N Abe's gay

I mean this has to bomb right This film can't do good I don't think this is getting a theatrical release It is it's in theaters What? This is a straight to fucking video In theaters September 6 I mean it might be in a couple theaters in the village.

If you Google Abraham Lincoln was gay, the first thing that comes up says, critics of the hypothesis that Lincoln was homosexual emphasize that Lincoln married and had four children. That's one of the things. And their theory is, oh, yeah. I mean, I knew someone. I literally knew a guy who was gay and he was married and had like three children. I'm looking at the man in the mirror yeah i mean i guess it's possible that had he not been assassinated he would have been just like a

sassy gay guy probably at the end that's how he dodged the bullet like he would have dodged the bullet if he was out but he was too afraid to be sassy i really would like to watch this video just to know the proof of this i got a banger science article to close off on for you. This is right up Daniel Polosuk's alley. So sick of science. Danny's sick of science. So sick of science.

The scientists have finally done it. The final, I guess you would say boss, of scientists getting grants to do wacky fucking shit. Scientists who discovered mammals can breathe through their asses received Nobel Prize. Okay, I'm listening actually. I like this. Among these collecting their prize

was a Japanese... Some Japanese shit. Have I ever heard some Japanese shit? Japanese people figured out you can breathe through your ass. I mean, Danny, you found out years ago

you can breathe through another dude's ass. Call it the snorkel. What are you researching at your lab? This guy comes back every day. What do you need his credit money for? Why is your nose brown? Well, that's how it starts.

First, you find out you can breathe through your own ass. Next thing you know, you find out you can breathe through another man's you know you're fucking find out you can breathe through another man's talk about farting gary or whatever who was the farting guy on stern was the guy who could just suck in air out of in his ass farting gary fucking should get in the nobel prize gary's for mr show what was the farting the guy who could fart on command i don't remember there's a few remember he just like he would fart for like 10 minutes straight on Stern He'd just suck air into his ass That was radio back in the day That was as good as it gets too

Who was it? Will the Farter That was as good as it got back in the day too When you were like 12 years old No video you're just like listening And all you're just like I'm like dying of laughter Can't breathe

Ryo, Okabe Tanakura, Takabe I'm like dying of laughter. Can't breathe. Ryo Okabe, Tanakora Takabe, who discovered that mammals can breathe through their anuses. They say in their paper... Which mammals? That's pretty broad. They're saying... I don't know. They probably have to do them one by one.

Now they got a Nobel Prize. They could probably secure some more funding for their cause. They say in their paper that this potentially offers an alternative way of getting oxygen into critically ill patients if then yeah there's a lot of dudes who are like uh I'd rather die

some dude who's like been smoking for 80 years and they gotta like he goes don't stick it up my ass just kill me I don't stick it up my ass. Just kill me. I don't want oxygen in my ass. You got these scientists fucking bending him over, and he's just cranking him, and they do the thing.

Stop. Stop, please stop. Rectal oxygen. Please stop with the rectal oxygen. They say in their paper this potentially offers an alternative way of getting oxygen into critically ill patients if ventilator and artificial lung supplies run low like they did during covet 19 dude so now you got a fucking doctor shoving air into your ass because of covet yeah they got we

got no ventilators to go i don't even want a ventilator we're gonna have to put oxygen in your ass i mean you could i guess that's just boofing essentially we're just boofing boofing air yeah you're boofing air boofing air yeah i got some other wacky shit we're gonna go over to the patreon patreon.com slash the boys cast every week y'all already know what it is and appreciate every one of you who messages me with some banger articles and stuff like that yes sir peace later