The Boyscast with Ryan Long - Women Say Men Are Too Broke To Date & The Taliban Say They Are Bored

Episode Date: February 17, 2023

Rihanna, alien blips, loud parents, girls dating down & MISGENDERING SAM SMITH SUPPORT THE SPONSORS AT: Cozyearth.com - Code BOYSCAST - 35% Off Sitewide Butcherbox.com/boyscast - Code BOYSCAST - Free Chuck Roast & Whole Chicken + $20 Off Athleticgreens.com/boyscast - Free 1 Year Of Vitamin D & 5 Free Travel Packs Zbiotics.com/boyscast - Code BOYSCAST - 15% Off Your Order SUPPORT THE BOYSCAST: https://www.patreon.com/theboyscast http://ryanlongcomedy.com MERCH - ryanlongstore.com Ryan @ryanlongcomedy Danny @dannyjokes LEAVE US A FIVE STAR REVIEW! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Recently, Rihanna performed at the Super Bowl while pregnant, showing women everywhere that just because you have a baby coming doesn't mean that you get to not do your job. Or if you're pregnant, doesn't mean you can't shovel the snow. Show up for work, do your job. Having a baby is not a license for you to be pregnant, okay? I mean, she literally has a song about working hard. Thank you. Yes, and you know what?

People are fat. Just because you're an extra little bit fat doesn't mean that you get to sit at home, kick your feet up. No, no, no. Get out there. You have earning capacity. I would like to see you utilize that.

No excuse. Oh, my feet hurt. You know what? While you said that your feet hurt, Dave just closed nine deals. Yeah, you're falling behind, ladies. And the commission that A$AP Rocky could have been receiving,

his portion of that commission, I would like to say to women everywhere, I don't care whether you're nine months pregnant, I don't care whether the baby is currently coming out of you. Every maternity ward should have an iPad. Every maternity ward should have a laptop. They should have a little business center. They should have a business center like a hotel.

Thank, honestly, thank you for saying that. Women should be delivering babies with a headset, and if a call happens to come in, a call happens to come in. That's the game. Game's the game. Are other people taking days off? I mean, not in other countries. We're falling behind, America. We're falling behind.

But these women, you know, you're right. You said it best that we're getting soft as a society where women think that they don't have to wear a headset beyond their iPads while delivering their babies. They think it's a free-for-all, and a license to be lazy, if you will. Things are getting too good. They've had it too good too long. So I like the re-in.

It lets women know that there will be no days off. Maternity leave is a privilege that you do not deserve. Yeah. The boys. It's the boys' cast. Collapse. It's the boys' cast. The dudes.

Prepare yourselves for the boys' cast. The bros. And another thing. And another thing. Yeah, I'm not done And you know, speaking of orbs If you are one of those orbs The flying saucers That's been flying over top of America Fucking blimps out there

Speaking of blimps Speaking of blimps I'll just say right now If you're a flying saucer And you want to come down to the Boy's Cast Studio Come get some Right now they're out there Taunting Joe Biden

You want to come talk to a real man Come down to the Boy's Cast Studio You won't be white anymore You'll be black and blue I'll tell you that much Oh yeah, they're out there taunting Joe Biden. You want to come talk to a real man? Come down to the boys' guest studio. You won't be white anymore. You'll be black and blue. I'll tell you that much. Oh, yeah. They'll be knocking on the door and being like, bleep, blorp. We come from smack.

Bleep, blorp. Bleep, blorp. Right in the face. Kabam. Kapow. Oh, China sent us. Well, that explains why you crashed. Kapow.

Didn't work out for you well, did it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you want to come down and see what we think of illegal aliens? We almost deported ourselves. That's how much we are against illegal aliens. Yeah, America's not a big country on aliens. Yeah, definitely illegal ones. So if you break the law, you

come down to the Boy's Cast Studio, try to break in the law. You think there's going to be like some... You think like in this version of Independence Day where they come and they want to annihilate us and then there's going to be like the super lefties who they're like, there's no such thing as an illegal person. They're like, they're trying to kill us. As you're getting as you as you are getting yourself like cut open. Actually, every person's illegal.

No person's illegal. They're like eating your intestines. No, I deserve. They're like eating your intestines. No person. I deserve, I'm a colonizer. It was like, we actually, they inhabited this earth 10 trillion years ago before us. We actually stole it from them. Does anybody really belong in the universe?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was there at first. That would be a big conundrum for them where they the aliens start killing the natives and they're like huh

I mean if they call them savages I'm about to lose my shit and by the way Danny it's funny that you bring this up I was already

a little pissed off because some friggin person on this radio station GBM misgendered Sam Smith. So I'm not in a good mood as is. Wow.

Honestly, I don't even, I'll get into it. You know what's so weird is there's only like, you can only, because Sam Smith is a they, but nobody would be mad. Yeah. But nobody would be mad if you called Sam Smith she. They might. It's only the one way. Well, I don't think it's pretty obvious to me. I mean, you know, these people out there calling him a him, like it's only the one way well I don't I don't think it's it's pretty obvious

to me I mean you know these people out there calling him a him like it's their first day on earth I mean maybe they should be going back to Zargon with the blimps because as far as I'm concerned it's pretty obvious to see that he's not Sam Smith identifies as a fat blob that transcends gender yeah this is a fat disgusting blob yeah doesn. Yeah. It's not a male or a female. Great pipes, though. Great pipes. Great pipes on that blob. Pavarotti style.

Fat blobs are known to have good pipes. Maybe better than Pavarotti. Lizzo, Smith. Yeah. Fat blobs are known to have pipes. I wonder why that is. I think what happens is something to do with the fat blobiness that just pushes the diaphragm. Yeah, you are stronger. It's just like there's all this

fat in there, right? You need to gain weight. I think there's also this thing of like, all of the voice is trying to escape your body just like everything else because it knows it's on a dying ship. So the words of the song are like, let me out of here. Because it knows, get us the hell out. It just hits those real high

registers. Yeah, because it knows, they're like, get us the hell up. And just hits those real high registers. Yeah, because it knows, any extra time spent in this body is a real coming close to death situation. so they're trying to get out of them. Well, so that's, I tell you,

pal, when I saw this Sam Smith stuff, I was, I wanted to march down to this studio and be like, listen, you are going to, one for you,

one for the aliens. Ryan is coming in hot i'm coming in hot for justice good morning britain this guy raveneer sing and you know what as a minority you think that this motherfucker you think that this piece of fucking human garbage yeah would know better would know better would know what it's like to be oppressed would know people probably called him from india he's from pakistan probably no it You don't want to talk about misgendering. It's a she that you're talking about right here. That's a woman, Ryan.

Ryan just did the thing he hates the most. The boy's got us going on an indefinite hiatus. Misgender's old Ranveer. Is that what happened, Danny? Or was I trying to show the people that it doesn't feel so good, does it? No, it doesn't feel so good, Ranveer. How does it feel? How does it feel, Ravnir? You were sitting at your home,

you know, you can't put yourself in his shoes, then bam, you get this gender. Well, she probably listens to the boys' cast and she's like, what? Now I finally... She finally feels what it's like. How does it feel? A little taste of your own medicine, Ravnir.

You know that crazy blip suit that he was wearing? Here's a bit of a souvenir, Ravnir. Ravnir? I feel like it was full of some wearing? Here's a bit of a souvenir, Ravineer. Ravineer? I feel like it was full of some sort of fluid. And her last name's Sing, too, so you'd think that she would know about people who sing.

Yeah, you think she's related to Lily? No, I just think she's really... Pretty uncommon. No, she named herself after that because she thought Sam Smith is so good at singing. She goes,

I'm going to name myself Ravioli Sing because I like people that eat a lot of ravioli and people that sing. And it was a tribute to Stan Smith. And then on top of that. Misgenders.

Yeah. So I'm not happy about that. Sickening. I'll just say one last thing is Ravineer Smith, if you're not listening, sing. Ravineer Smith. We don't want you to subscribe to our Patreon. No, we want you to resign. We want you to resign.

No, that's the only noble thing you could do at this point is you resign and then you give your job to a non-binary yeah give your job to sam smith even though it doesn't want your stupid fucking job probably not yeah it's a it's not a man or a woman's beard it's a fat transgender blob with a beard okay non-binary beard anyone anyone with a brain can see that anyone with two eyes on their freaking head that is i will say i was watching tiktok and you know how people will just be like, it's time to shut the whole thing down. Yeah. There's this big fat guy on Tik TOK.

And I don't know if you've seen this guy. It's been all over my feed probably. Cause I watched a few of the videos. His whole thing is he's got a big belly and there's this one song. He has, I know the Turkish guy, the Turkish. Yeah.

Oh dude. I've been watching this guy for, he has a video that has like... I think I want to say it has 400 million views on it. It's one song. Good song, too. It's this weird Turkish... And his belly just jiggles.

He goes... And he has this look. He goes like this. He's this... And then you go, what's the next video? And then there's him on the sidewalk jiggling his belly. Him on a playground jiggling his belly. him on a playground jiggling his belly, him on the driveway jiggling his belly.

And he has 20 gazillion subscribers. You go, this can't be real. You go, all right. If that's what it is, you go, everyone's out here planning podcasts, making sketches, and people are out here putting stand-up specials together, trying to get guests. This guy is the biggest guy on the internet. He wiggles his belly. He just sits here wiggling his belly he'll turn the internet off

you know it's so funny too when i saw him i mean i'm gonna admit i like got sucked into the whole because i love him oh he's aspirational for you but like i was so i went all the way back in his like all of his what was he doing before the belly? So he was like a farmer, right? So it is really funny to watch like how the videos go because he was like literally like, you know, probably like dirt poor, this like farmer guy. And then he did this one video. This TikTok blows,

but it is like the kind of the magic of TikTok almost where he like blows up. And all he's doing is he's just smiling and he's at this like Turkish restaurant. And this guy puts a piece of meat in his mouth as he's like jiggling his belly. And this guy puts a piece of meat in his mouth as he's, like, jiggling his belly. And then this goes super viral. And then you could see he did try other stuff.

Oh, he's a hot shot now. He's jiggling his belly with, like, a gold bracelet. Yeah, he's got a gold dollar sign chain around his neck or whatever. He went Hollywood, but he's still jiggling his belly. Yeah, but he, like, did try other things and just, like, nothing popped. What else did he try? Just, like, any different songs. Jiggling his arm, different songs.

Because he's tried different songs too. And the songs didn't take off. And he probably made, the thing too is like, if you go watch the video for the song, it's literally like these two guys, one guy's like on a fucking, the original one is he's on a keyboard in the back of like a Turkish restaurant.

And that's like the OG. What's this guy's name? Valley Jiggling Guy. I don't know, but it's like uh is it cis scis something cis yet or something he's like a very turkish i just typed in belly jiggling guy on tiktok 42 million views yeah z y r e z x underscore edits oh this is just a guy that edits that guy's name but Z-X underscore edits. Oh, this is just a guy that edits that guy's name. But Turkish man jiggling.

The song that was called Dom Dom Yes Yes by Bizzar King. I hate this guy. The song's honestly, though, the song is solid. I hate this dude. So that's that. But yeah. But he's just like, so now his whole thing is he just goes to restaurants. Different restaurants.

He jiggles his belly. He probably charges like a lot. He probably charges 20K to come jiggle his belly he probably charges like a lot he probably charges 20k to come jiggle his belly at your restaurant at your Turkish restaurant he goes to your restaurant and then he literally

like I wonder if he's doing like earthquake relief stuff like if he's like using his powers for good or he's still just like yeah fuck those like Michael Jordan

style fuck those kids yeah yeah yeah like he goes just like a long way and then the whole thing is the guy from the restaurant takes some food and just puts it in his mouth

while he's dancing I see that's the whole video that's the whole part but I guy from the restaurant Takes some food and just puts it in his mouth While he's dancing That's the whole video That was 30k If it ain't broke why fix it Did you see the guy that You know the shh So he's doing interviews And he does this song with Wiz Khalifa

And I'm following those guys Is that your boys? The dubs guys Yeah I thought so actually so I've been talking a lot about the and you know I hit them with the shh

and the guy's name is your fave band or whatever your fave ex-boyfriend yeah yeah your fave ex-boyfriend or whatever so then my buddies like made his new track

and they go they made this video with him and Wiz Khalifa or whatever and I saw I looked at it and I was like wait that was Dubs

so I just like hit them up and I was like getting all the scoop on Dub? So I just hit them up and I was getting all the scoop on what he was like. Weird? No, I can't. I feel like even if they did say he was the worst guy, I wouldn't be able to say that here. But one thing they did say is that he ordered a toothbrush on set.

He wanted to brush his teeth before his thing, so he door dashed himself a toothbrush. So strange. That's the only real tidbit I can share. On No J on no jumper and it was one of those interviews where you're like i thought i was like are you gonna have to just end this he was just like this he's like yeah he just sits there and they go they go so yeah yeah they go so what's it like being famous now he goes it is why dude he's like low like I don't know.

You're like, it's kind of making it hard to do an interview right now because you don't really want to participate. You're so right. They go, do you have any plans

for some other songs? He goes, maybe. I don't know. It's just like silence. You're like, oh, this is a really awkward interview.

Yeah. Are any girls messaging him he goes I don't know it's just gay yeah yeah yeah that is kind of what the whole interview

is like you're like the whole like really too cool to be here and you're like well then like don't the Adam 22 one you're talking about right

yeah I don't know if he's had other what's it like after the song came out he goes whatever it's like whatever you know it's not even like they go so you have more money right now and he goes i don't know maybe i do maybe i don't yeah like every question is just like this is like the worst it's so hard to watch

i was loving it i was liking it though like part of me is like are we all just getting played oh shit okay before we get into the first thing I am gonna announce that I'm doing Gramercy Theater in New York in September

tickets go on sale right now and then also Buffalo the next weekend Calgary, Atlanta Las Vegas Philadelphia Tampa

and the New York show Patreon my thoughts are we're gonna be doing the bugman versus bugman olympics next week yeah yeah yeah we're fucking coming in hot it is coming in hot we're um so that's what's gonna happen probably the next week on the patreon as well as your bugman different episode yeah people can uh message on the patreon where they think some of the things they want us to put together and we'll just order them all yeah my idea was i was saying we're gonna pick the things that have the

lowest stars like so all the reviews are like this thing was impossible together like who fucking designed this thing we're gonna be like that's what we're putting together patreon.com slash the boys guys so this is probably my favorite story this week that so google fired this employee for not being inclusive after refusing sexual advances from a female co-worker it's crazy i read this i was like they're sort of saying he's lying but yeah but i'm like is this fake like it seems like the way you read like exactly but i'm like you read this you go like this seems fake but it's real yeah and so basically the girl came up to him and she was like, you know, I want to smash.

And he was just like not interested. And then she started coming around telling everyone he's racist and all this sort of stuff. It's a victim off. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's like every kind of fake video that you see about like some dude who's too pushy at work. Like, you know, like some fake scenario. Like almost like it's your hr training that they put together

this video being like here's what happened at this workplace and some guys like it is he goes hey you want to fucking smash later my wife's away like or whatever but it's the opposite she comes on and she was like listen you know buddy i would friggin slob on that knob your wife's nothing this is what she said she goes a lawsuit alleges the company sacked the male employee for not being inclusive enough after he rejected the advances of a female co-worker. So basically she came up and she was like, listen, I want to hit it. Let's fucking. She straight up said I lost some spice in the relationship.

And then this guy hit his sign beside his desk and he goes, hey, lady, did you see the no fat chick sign? This is not some inclusive space. You know what I mean? I don't just say you don't have to lose 40 pounds then I mean if you're a dude you're working

at Google and the chick says this to you you're probably just like yeah where's the camera I'm not falling for that shit yeah nice try hell no

nice try even if he was so down he's like dude honestly I've wanted to do this for so long but he's probably just like yeah no come on like

something's happened something is you know what I like pat your titties down but not because i want to see if you're back in the hand though like tsa style yeah i'm not i'm not back in the hand well i was thinking it's more the opposite though where she came in and he was like he's not inclusive and he actually was like you know he has a fucking he goes hey and he pulls up his shirt he's got a t-shirt on that says must be this thin to ride. Step on the scale, babe. Yeah.

Hey, he must be under 200 if you want to ride this pump, yeah. You want a good thing, innit? I mean, the thing too is she got him fired. That's the crazy thing. She got him fired. So it's a real good

old-fashioned victim off because she's sort of going to the boss now and being like, that has nothing to do with that. This guy was just bad news. He's problematic. But this guy's on record because he already went to HR

and he said that she was trying to hit on him. And that's why I say, I don't really, there's a chance that this girl had it out for him. She was like, you know, she was like, you're a cis white male or whatever. And this guy goes, I'm going to get ahead of this. And then he goes to HR and he goes, this girl's been hitting on me.

Maybe. And it really is like, who can out victim each other? Sure. I mean, he's just essentially, he knows the playbook, so he's just doing the playbook, but the problem is, I guess he's like,

assumes it's going to work for him the same it would for a woman. Well, it might be though. We're going to see what's happening though, right? That's the thing though, Google might just be like,

this guy might be getting paid out. Although James Damore didn't get shit. Really? James Damore didn't get anything, other than like just them to leave him alone i don't think really any money no he lost wow james depore james depoe well i think he's at work somewhere but like i don't think he got any money from getting improperly fired yeah you want you want to take me down to the break room he goes i'll tell you

what any room that you're in is a break room because if you sit on something, you break it. You beat it. You're a cow. You're a pig. Yeah. Listen. Take a look in the mirror. Take a look in the mirror. You just broke the mirror. You're a fat hog.

Okay? Rebecca. Hey, listen. Rebecca. If you can stop eating for two fucking seconds and look at me. How is this guy a bad guy? She's married. She's married.

He's married. I guess she's saying none of this happened. Well, it's never enough. She's saying this is all lies. Well, she's saying it's not true She's saying no I mean I kind of Do believe all women though So I'm gonna have to

Take her side here You think that I mean I believe all women You just naturally Always believe them I mean why wouldn't I Well that's crazy Because a girl said

That you had a small D The other day She's telling me She goes With all women I mean whether you like it or not She goes Danny's got a Fucking any man

Women don't lie I mean They're both right Either a girl says You got a big one Or a girl Danny's got a fucking innie, man. Women don't lie. Mm-hmm. I mean. They're both right. Either a girl says you got a big one or a girl says you got a small one. They're both right. I can't, yeah. That's the moral of the story.

I'll let the courts duke it out on that one. You are not going to catch me. And it's going to have to be a female judge. That's the other thing. Dude, you are never going to catch me not believing our women. And the lawsuit claims that the rejection of the female co-worker

and his subsequent complaints to human resources, the co-worker began retaliating against him and complaining to others afterwards about his microaggressions and stuff like that. I will say, I actually think it should be, if a woman comes on to you and you reject her, that should be illegal. That should be a microaggression. I mean, no, that should be a crime. Misdemeanor minimum. That would be good, though. And you go to your chick, you go, are you trying to get me locked up? Like, I'm not trying to be about that life. You know what I mean, no, that should be a crime. Misdemeanor minimum. That would be good, though. And you go to your chick, you go, are you trying to get me locked up? Like, I'm not trying to be about that life.

You know what I mean? You think I wanted to do that? I mean, saying no to a woman is violence. Pretty much. Like, they put themselves out there and then you reject them? You go, listen, I don't want to do this, but I'm not a violent man. Unzip. I mean, it should kind of be a crime.

I don't know. I believe all women. And then the girl said like hey you need to do this that's your excuse you go listen i believe all women and that woman said that i should do this hey the woman said it would be a good idea it would be a good idea well that woman she just says believe you me, you're going to want to do this. You go. All right. Believe you me, you're really going to want to have sex with me right now.

Okay. Ah, they top their sign, believe all women. Yeah. And then you go. Darn it. And then you go, what are you supposed to do? You caught me between a rock and a hard dick. I don't want to go to jail. Would you still feel that same way if it was a woman with a hard dick. I mean, I don't want to go to jail. Would you still feel that same way

if it was a woman with a rod underneath between the legs? But it's a female penis? Female penis. Yes, obviously. Nothing wrong with that. That's a woman. Ain't nothing wrong with that. That's a woman.

I don't know. Nothing wrong with that. Okay? No, there's not even any jokes to make because there's just nothing. Nothing funny about that? Nothing there's just nothing nothing funny about that nothing going on nothing funny about that nothing wrong with that no no it's a micro aggression that is the girl saying like he goes i just told the uh hr that you know this girl's

probably like not even white and he goes i just told hr that you came on to me and she goes you fucked up bud yeah yeah yeah okay bud you want to declare war on the First Nations? Next day, she's coming in with a headdress. Oh, she's got a whole new identity every day of the week. She's coming in on non-binary headdress. You want to play this game, huh? She's got like a 23andMe the size of a phone book. You go, oh, I'm in trouble here.

I messed up. It's like on the old, you know the old printer paper with the holes and just like stack of them. You're about to see what victim looks like or what a real victim feels like. So apparently what she did was she said that she filed a complaint due to his lack of inclusivity towards other employees

and Google decided to fire him. That's pretty crazy though. She did just like say, hey, this guy's not that inclusive and then he got fired. Like that's all it took even though this guy had his... So then after that,

I think what happened is he went to the press, right? White men, that's what they're... They are sort of making a thing that you think you're going to be a white man and he's not going to play ball.

I have a photo of him right now here too. He is like a poster boy of just like a white dude. I mean, he's really Ryan Olihan. Yeah. Like he's just like a white dude. I mean, he's really Ryan Olihan. Yeah. Like he's like an Irish white guy.

Not doing good. No, not doing so hot. Yeah. So the girl's spokesperson is saying this is a fictional account and that she didn't even want to smash anyway. That's a quote. He's a good looking dude too. Beating someone in his own game.

So the guy's doing okay. That's why he tapped the sign. Well, he's a good looking dude too beating someone in his own game so the guy's doing okay that's why he tapped the sign well he's not doing okay Google fucking the guy lives in New York City he probably pays 15 grand a month in rent and she got fucking sacked

for not banging his like co-worker and she said his marriage had a lack of spice and he said no she said her marriage had a lack of spice

and he said your last meal didn't have a lot of spice cause you just fucking crop dusted my office area you're gross yeah oh it says look that's the dude oh dude's looking because you just fucking crop dusted my office area. You're gross. Yeah.

Oh, it says, look, that's the dude. Oh, dude's looking. And that's the chick. Oh, chick's Asian. Yeah, Asian chick. I didn't realize. Didn't see that coming. Yeah. Her name's Tiffany Miller.

She said she rubbed Olihan's abs and told him she knew he liked Asian women. That's a goat if I've ever seen one and I don't mean in a good sense. I mean in a good way, you guys. We should honestly,

I think, I think what's in order, I think we need to go handcuff ourselves to the Google building in New York City to protest this. To protest this.

This is fucked up. We're going to have to go full Laura Loomer. We're going to have to go to the Google building and handcuff ourselves for our boy Ryan. Handcuff ourselves to the Google building until they rehire this guy yeah that's crazy that is insane right yeah i'm gonna take a quick second to tell you all

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and use the code boyscast to get this special deal. You know what's even crazier than that? So the New York Post had this article, and there's two back-to-back ones, basically, but they go, Broke men are hurting American women's marriage prospects. It's like the craziest thing I've ever heard. Yo, the idea, their whole story is they're like, you know, men don't make that much money and it was like, all these girls are single and it's the dude's fault for not, you know,

these guys are not making enough money. That's why the problem is. It's like, yeah, well, how about this? Little spin. Guys aren't making enough money because they're not incentivized to make a lot of money because the girls are fat. Sure, or they are actually making okay money,

but all the money they make goes back to repaying their student debt. Dude, you know, yesterday Stanford announced that their tuition for this year, undergraduate tuition at Stanford is $85,000 a year. Screw off. Dude, I read it.

I was like, this is, I read it. I'm like so naive as a Canadian. I go, that's like for four years. Yeah, yeah. And no, 82 or 85,000. Get the hell out of here with that nonsense. Isn't that crazy for an undergrad at Stanford? It's moronic.

That's literally, what is that? What's the quick math here? 340 grand. Dude, that's so stupid crazy for an undergrad at stanford like it's moronic that's literally what is that what's the quick math here 340 grand dude it's so for an undergrad like i get you get to stanford but you're like 340 000 legitimately well but their whole thing is this the whole thing too is their the premise of their whole article they go research suggests that for recent years the decline of marriage rates could have something to do with the lack of economically attractive male spouses so yes obviously girls want to have they want you can't have it both ways you can't make more money and also need a guy that makes more money it's just like simple it's the thing that kind of the thing that used to always drive me nuts when they would be like uh the thing that would chappy gbt was driving me nuts when it was like if there's three spots and they have less men like yeah it doesn't affect you it's

like well obviously if they have less men it does affect you it's a zero-sum game right but this would drive me nuts where they go they're literally the whole fight is we need to make more money and then you go well men make more money than us now and you go can you believe these idiots i don't even think the issue here is specifically the like it's yes the money thing but it's also like we need like men making more money who are also in like white-collar jobs that's a huge that's a big part like there's lots of dudes who are just like trades who make 150 grand a year but they're like no no we don't like slumming it with those but they are saying they all also are saying that they need more money but my point to you that i was kind of going with that was that like when they say that you know i i should be getting this much of a guy like i should have a

guy this much you go well you shouldn't though yeah the thing's been rejigged like you're like i i'm some girl that's like you know 32 years old and i make 80 grand a year and i'm this hot and you're i deserve this and you go well no the whole thing's changed that's not what you deserve no you deserve this I mean the free market's the free market that's what I'm saying they they haven't it's like it's it's it's the type of it's the you know what it is Danny it's the white guy in entertainment that still thinks like no I'm just gonna you know write my scripts and I'll book my tv show that game's over pal long gone the girl that's like yeah I'm just like I'm 32 I moved to the city i where i can make 150 grand a year i'll find a guy that makes 200 grand a year equally as attractive

sure you know i mean no no and you go lady yeah he that guy dates a woman who doesn't have a job who's way hotter than you and younger with no job that That's exactly what it is, right? You go, and I'll just date a guy that makes $250,000 a year. You go, guess what? $250,000 a year doesn't need your fucking... He doesn't need your $150,000 a year. I mean, you might meet him at work, but also that guy doesn't want to date people at work

because that gets you in trouble. Also, this guy makes $300,000 a year. He can do anything, right? But also, yeah, these women probably are like, yeah, I work like a dog and you're like, okay, yeah, but also like guys know better than to date women

who they work with now. It's a fucking minefield. Are you crazy? Yeah. So for these girls, yeah, you're just like, the game's been rejigged. You participate in the benefits

and there's also some negatives. That's all I'm just saying. Oh, there are some negatives. Oh, are there? And they're feeling the negatives in a hard way right way right now i mean it sounds like not that hard but it's so obvious that you're like your standards are too high and the whole article she goes unless your dream man is a uber driver the dearth of would-be grooms is prominent in current gig economy of unstable low-paying service jobs and it was like well how hot are you like because

if you're like a seven that makes 100 grand a year in new york it's like yeah maybe you do get an uber driver i don't know that's like i mean there are yeah there's like there's not a shortage of you he's like sevens who make 100 grand a year living in new york you're like that's a pretty saturated market this is the main bottom line you go yeah there's no shortage of you know girls that make 100 grand a year in new y or like a major city or whatever. No, especially in New York. And especially when you consider that guys could date younger. I mean, again, there's no more, maybe we're just too pragmatic about this stuff.

Supply and demand basic. Yeah, exactly. You're just like, look, if you can't find somebody, lower your standards, eventually you'll reach an equilibrium point where the dick will be rolling in but the problem that i'll even go one above what you're saying so agreed that lower your standards but like it's not just like lower your standard it's that you have a crazy version of

what your standard is yeah you know what i mean like if you're like some seven seven girl and you're like i should be with a trillionaire and then you're like hey you need to lower your standards it's not like we're just saying like yeah don't go to a billionaire there is an actual it's not it's not subjective like there is an actual standard and you're you're wrong of course so it's like you're incorrect about what you think you yeah you look in the mirror and you'd be like i'm looking at a 10 guys look in that photo of you and they go that's a i'm looking at a 10 years ago maybe yeah but i mean like it sucks because so many the advice for these women is like don't settle and you're like okay

well i don't then yeah yeah don't die single i don't settle you're gonna be settling into that bachelor you're gonna be settling into that one bedroom with that cat i mean maybe it'll be a two bedroom with a cat and stuff and whatever that's what's what you want, that's fine. But to say like, oh, there's no men out there? No, there's lots. So you just have a crazy opinion of them. Standards are too high. That's why I'm fighting the standards are too high because I think it's more accurate

to say your standards are incorrect. I mean, just think about it this way. You ever go look for a place online? The more boxes you check, the less places they show you. Stop checking so many boxes. checks more places some ladies here's the best part some ladies are even starting to date down oh that's the thing no you're dating no yeah you're no you're not that's my boy yeah like no guy's like oh i'm dating up she works in marketing it makes 85 000 a year and you're like but wait you make like 125 000 a year but you're an electrician he goes yeah but

i don't know i'm an electrician i yeah i'm gonna like i'm a low electrician but she's this high end yeah she goes i work less hours than her i'm dating down yeah that's run my own business but i apparently am dating up apparently i I should be so lucky. She's older than me. Somehow I'm dating up, though. I'm dating up, you go. No, you are dating equal. Yes. Like, obviously there are the scenarios

where everybody's like, and it generally goes the opposite way where it's a guy with a woman and people are like, oh, she's out of your league. But generally she's not because there are these intangibles. Sure, sometimes there's always going to be inefficiencies both ways.

There will. Of course, but what they said, so they wrote another article, the solution to NYC's man drought. Danny, it hasn't been a man drought for you. You're fucking bars the ego there. No man drought. I am not parched.

It's been a man, what's the opposite of a drought? Tsunami. Tsunami. No man drought here. Danny's been a man What's the opposite of a drone? Tsunami Definitely not a man drone in fucking Danny's life I used to Yeah you'd call Danny and go you ready to do the podcast He goes hold on Why are you talking to me like that No I'm just using a snorkel

Between nine different guys right now Yeah But they go They literally do Because I'm in between nine different guys right now. Yeah. So. Fucking man drunk. But they go, they literally do, they have a picture of a guy in this thing that looks super, they have a guy and a girl and the guy, like the guy's like super reasonable looking. Yeah.

And it says NYC solution, date down. And it's this, and it's all these girls accounts of like the trauma of how they had to date a guy that makes less money than him. And it was like, so I guess me and you are sort of heroes in that regard that's so funny though did you ever do that with like someone was like oh what does your girl do you go listen it's embarrassing she makes less money than me but like but it's like this chick's a fucking lawyer and she goes to like i'm an attorney which is like not that crazy like being an attorney's not like a thing she goes and she's with this low level electrician.

That's her big beef. Yeah. She goes, what does your husband do? Some people will ask her and she goes, he's an electrician already anticipating the wide eyed,

how interesting from her white collared acquaintances who can't believe that she'd be with an electrician who probably makes good money. Yeah. Yeah. And you're like,

okay, but I don't know. It's like, he's fine. He makes lots of money. He owns his own business, like all this stuff don't know it's like he's fine he makes lots of money he owns his own business like all this stuff like what just because he's an electrician no these people if you work with your hands you're like just scum to these people yeah it's crazy no the way that the way that she's live see in this world is out it's blowing my mind yeah

that's crazy i'm currently that's she's literally doing the same thing me and you are both doing yeah dating someone who makes less money than us yeah and because she's a woman she gets to go she introduces she goes hey what are you doing she goes before before hey can i just make blow the whistle can i just make an announcement before anyone says anything yes she makes less money than me i don't want anyone looking at her differently she's still a human being just because this woman yeah i know well there's the other one too is a 28 year old brooklyn-based research scientist she's like she has a master's degree and then like she's like engaged to a long island barbershop owner owner he owns a barbershop so why just because the barbershop you know the the like

audacity of these women she goes she's like so she beside herself you know many idiots have master's degrees like i guess it's so you're a moron with a master's degree and you're dating a guy that owns a barbershop like explain to me how is this is a discrepancy yeah and also like his uh like upper bound of how much money he can make is way higher way higher than yours potential is way higher for like she's like probably already capped out at the most she'll ever make oh this girl's a long island attorney by the way like take it easy yeah relax you're you're freaking you know what i mean it's not like you're and it's not like they're like it's not like you're working for berkshire hathaway you're on long island working at like

joe's ambulance chasers and like she's like again like she's you know not to be mean or whatever but she's not like particularly attractive handsome is the term this is crazy it's like some broad it's some 31 year old broad from long island it's paper pushing paper pushing broad yeah you know i don't know maybe it's society is the problem maybe she's she thinks society she's imagine writing and imagine you're fucking you make your you were you own a barber shop yeah you make you know whatever it is your girl's like some low-level attorney in fucking long island she makes you know 50 grand more than you and then she's writing

articles about how like how much of a hero she is to like imagine he doesn't know about this he's just reading your post and he's like what the fuck you wrote you were in an article about settling dating down like like first off we're like we're not dating we're married like what the fuck yeah and it's like by the way like i'm i easily could like get do better than you by the way and what was the point of this? I don't get this. It's not to promote your legal business. Just to neg me on the internet? Get it off her chest.

Andrea is hardly the only woman in Big Apple that finds herself dating down or engaging in a relationship with a man with a lower education or societal class. Now these women are just like... It's been a while. Can you imagine being... I keep switching it,

but if you were a dude and you just go, I know before everyone here, I'm dating a girl that's lower class than us. This is like the Indian caste system or some shit. It's crazy. They're living in a bizarro world where they feel that this is okay to do. Yeah.

Yeah, this is... I don't understand the point of this, how this is okay to do. Yeah. I don't understand the point of this. How they got them to be in this article. I guess we should pat ourselves on the back for dating down. I'd had a boyfriend in college who was perfect on paper. But this guy, we were both going to be attorneys, so she was going to meet another guy of her stature, by the way.

Another man who was also going to be an attorney, but he had a drug problem, and I knew deep down he wasn't right so perfect on paper drug big drug problem yeah addicted to h kind of an issue for me perfect on paper uh addicted to h wanted nothing to do with me banging 19 year olds big into prostitutes he was doing coke and clubbing a lot and actually i rejected my advances to be quite honest so didn't work out with that guy. Now I'm dating this barbershop owner. Real piece of shit. Yeah. Definitely doesn't deserve me.

I think the thing Andrea loves about me is how proud of who I am and where I came from. Oh, this guy's sort of in on it. This Jason guy is like sort of a bitch. The one guy. Andrea, he's part of the article. Yeah. If your wife goes, I'm doing an article about how women who are dating like lowly men that are below them.

Hey, honey, the New York Post is doing an article about dating losers. Do you want to be in it? You're like, what? And then first question, why do you love me so much? I don't know. I guess I just think that you're proud of where you come from. Andrea was raised in an upper middle class environment, but we're from a family of tradesmen.

I have blue pride tattooed on my chest. Literally proud blue collar worker. She must hate it when he fucking shows up with the white Peter showing off the tattoo. Or he shows up with it. He shows up to her fucking white collar lawyer functions with his blue pride tattoo. She has always explained like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It with his blue pride tattoo. She always explained like,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's a working class thing. He doesn't like the blues. No, no, no. He used to say white pride and we decided to have that just covered over because that was not. Describes my balls

because she won't smash with me because I don't get it because I don't make enough money. It's so crazy. Taryn Burke, 28 year old, Brooklyn research scientist with a master's degree That's the barbershop Yeah that's the one

With the barbershop We fell in love instantly Oh this is the best part Of the barbershop one We fell in love instantly But my grandmother Thinks we're insane This is the girl

Dating the barbershop What the She goes He said what do you do He's like yeah I'm like a lawyer And he like runs a barbershop And the grandmother goes

Stop You're messing with me right Yeah this is insanity what yeah we're upper crust can't be dating him and he goes he owns the barbershop she goes but we are petite but like does he own like a chain of barbers so he owns all the every barbers yeah he goes every barbershop barbershop in long island no he. Okay, so at least he has like 85 employees minimum probably. And you go, he just has three guys working with him. He goes, guys, I got to be honest with you.

This is fucking insane what I'm hearing. I don't know what to do with this information. Don't worry though. He's got a plan to turn things around. He's going to have that fat slob from Turkey come in and do a dance in front of the barbershop. Yo, how crazy is it that this girl goes, my grandmother thinks we're insane. Her mind's blown. I mean, old people.

Excuse me, so this is my new husband. We're getting married. What does he do? I own a barbershop. It's like you went to all that school just to end up marrying a business owner? These girls are making me sick right now, dude. They should be ashamed of themselves

with this kind of attitude. My grandmother thinks we're fucking insane. While we do sometimes fight about finances, at the end of the day, I'm really glad to be the primary breadwinner. I like being in control, calling the shots, deciding that this is the girl with the blue, the guy that's got the working class pride tattoo. The guy with the working class pride tattoo. So the guy with the working class pride tattoo

is really getting bitched around. Yeah, he's getting bitched around. I have a feeling that this guy, his working class pride involves working pretty part-time, blue collar. Or he's like, I wonder if, just to make himself, he disconnects stuff at home so he can come and save the day.

Oh, yeah. He goes, honey, the outlet's not working again. He goes, ooh. You're going to have to head down the road We're a shop Yeah I don't know Just a couple Blue pride

Got a part time job As a crossing guard I mean again Like I guess For us You see this And you're like Just cause you make

10 more grand a year Than him You're not settling Say take it easy You're not dating down Like chill Take it easy Chill

Fucking chill He's not like a works he's not like a 65 year old man who works at mcdonald's and you're a 31 year old attorney like he's like a few years older than you it's like pretty normal article that's settling crazy though it's just like why would you be in the article though that's not like no girl if you go like if you're imagining hey you want to be in an article about settling? About how I'm being, yeah. You're the lower one for this.

It's for Maxim. I'm doing a Maxim article about how I'm settling down. Settling for you. Is that cool? If you don't mind, if you don't mind, describe what it's like dating up. They need some tax returns. They want it. They want to know what you're in.

And your measurements. You're going to write like a couple of paragraphs on what it's like to dating up they need some tax returns they they want it they want to know and then you you're gonna write like a couple paragraphs on what it's like to date up yeah can we just get a couple little comments you can get a little bit of a quote on what it's like to be dating up so these girls are out of their minds and the last one this is the best part though they said uh not every woman considers blue collar guy uh blue material. For example, Dawn DeLavida, who's MD, she's the author of She Makes More. She's an MD. She's a doctor. It's a woman that makes more than you. First off, there's no...

Can you imagine? You fucking start dating a girl that makes like 50 grand more than you and she starts working on a side book about making more money than you the only thing you can do at that point is figure out a way to make more money you have family things she goes so what's your book called that's the pettiest person alive yo that's a chick. Danny, you said your wife was working on a new book. What's your book called?

It's like, I make more money than my husband. Oh. She's an author. She makes more. Yo, girls have had two years of making more money than relationships. Out there writing books. That's like the people who did well in crypto and they're like, yeah, I'm writing books on how to

be a millionaire and stuff. And then by the time it comes out, you're like, not a millionaire anymore. She's writing a book called She Makes More. Because she's dating a guy that she makes 20 grand. She's doing what 90% of guys did for the history of the world.

And she's writing books about it. The anthology that she makes more anthology she's trying to cash in you know maybe she realizes this might be a short short do you want to see what's you know i don't know if you know what the rest of the she makes more story is but she goes author if she makes more how to blue call her partner too and found it to be a little lonely now divorced so she makes more girl yeah she now makes i mean look if you make a lot of money you're a chick you like go for what you want unless plain about not getting anybody unless uh the guy's alimony she got to have and then he writes a book she no longer makes more um i make the same now yeah his book comes out he goes out to fucking rinse rich chicks

yeah how funny would that be if they did the alimony thing and she had to pay him half the thing he wrote a he wrote a book or he gets half of the book sale so he's like really pumping like everybody hey buy this book i get half of the proceeds i have my own book coming out called she makes the same she makes the same now how to be a dude and win. Now divorce. She says, well, the income discrepancy wasn't the main reason that failed. She said she had to handle her partner with a little bit of kid gloves.

So her thing is sort of some people like it, some people don't. That's kind of the moral of that. But it was so funny that she makes more, girl. After she wrote her book called She Makes More, the marriage didn't last that long after that. I love it. Oh my God. That's a good stuff right there.

That is good shit right there. I wonder what the, uh, she makes more, uh, how it's doing on Amazon. We should, we should order. She makes more and put it on the table.

We should order a copy. I get ordering copy of you. She makes more. If it's an option, can you order? copy of it. Yeah, order a copy of it if she makes more. If it's an option. Can you order if she makes more? Yeah, I wonder where you buy it. Weird, there's no real... Oh, here we go. Okay, we're buying it. Oh, she's got a lot of stuff. Training. We could hire her to be a speaker.

What do we want her to speak about? I don't know. We could just hire her to talk to a bunch of dudes. Just kind of talk shit to them. Definitely I'll think about that. Potential option. 11 ratings. 4 kind of just talk shit to them. Definitely I'll think about that. That's a potential option. 11 ratings, four stars. Okay, so order that. It makes more.

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polyamory one yeah so this this dad and this is in yahoo sports by the way so i don't know it's getting very very uh this one was oh yeah why was this in yahoo i have no idea maybe this guy was uh writes articles for a sports or something like that and then he just started to branch out yeah why would this because this started with insider it the original source is insider and somehow made it so yeah i didn't even see that that is yeah it's making me laugh yeah my wife is bisexual and non-binary and my daughter is transgender my queer family helped me better understand myself and my masculinity and the guy looks exactly what you think he would look like

this is one of those things where I saw he looks like the guy in the cover of G-Makes more kind of he looks like Sam Banker Freed a bit but like when I saw this screenshot I'm like oh this is like a photoshop for sure you know like this is like not him yeah there was like a guy in there who probably looked like Sam Smith

and then they're like they photoshop this guy or something like his boys are like playing a prank on him no that is him no prank yeah that is a funny prank but the funny part is that is the thing that uh the the odds of you go the odds of your daughter being uh transgender and your wife being bisexual non non-binary is probably, what would you say, one in a million? Yeah, but also your wife comes out as non-binary when you're like 50. Yes, fuck off.

And the daughter comes out as transgender first, then mom's sort of copying the daughter, too. Kind of. First my daughter came out as transgender, then my bisexual wife came out as non-binary. So they're really sticking it to him, right? So yeah. daughter came as transgender then my bisexual wife came out as non-binary so they're really sticking it to him right and so yeah oh man so i honestly one of the things i couldn't figure out when he says my daughter came out as transgender i couldn't figure out whether it was a son that he's calling a daughter well he's calling it his daughter that means that he probably used to be a

son now it's a daughter whatever so his son says i'm a his son says I'm a girl. And then his wife says, well, I'm not a girl anymore. Yeah. So I think they have like sort of a one girl per family rule in this household. They were on China politics. So when the son came to transition to a girl, the mom's like,

well, one of it's either one. Yeah. You or me. Yeah. And the mom goes, well, good news.

I'm not there to save, to save the family. So I'm neither. Right. So I guess he's gay. So, cause he sort of says, he goes,

no, he says, he says he says he's the only non-queer person but you are queer though because you're dating someone that's not you're dating non-girl i guess this is what i'm saying though he's oh he goes and that's me i'm the only guy in the family that's not queer and i got got news for you now that iced tea man yeah the photo too where it's like if you say to him he goes like i got news for you, pal. Oh, so your wife's a girl?

No, she's not a girl. Oh. Interesting. So you're saying. What does that make you? And he goes, that makes me. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I too am a queer. But the reason I thought. It's real. The reason I like this is because the whole thing seemed like they were bullying him a little bit that was what I found funny about this article the only non-queer person in the family

I often feel left out of shared experiences so he's sort of coming home they're like what's up you cis pussy like a sissy boy the only cis head guy in the family they're calling him sissy boy but it's CIS look at this fucking sissy man. And they go,

my queer family's taught me a lot about how my masculinity can become less restrictive. By the way, this guy was not like a super masculine man to start. I know, right? Not exactly buying that one. I don't know exactly what, he never really explains that much what he taught. All he explains is that his wife,

his wife's always sort of gallivanting around doing like queer things. You know what I mean? Yeah, I mean just standard stuff my 19 year old daughter last month invited her mother to see the queer community Chris Fleming I was not invited So he doesn't get invited to think he's gonna get like bullied a little bit at home Chris I'm super funny by the way. Yeah, remember that guy uh i guess now he's like he's a big he's a big like he's got a big hair dude yeah he used to make these videos where he played like a mom and he was like oh yeah i remember that yeah yeah he's still that guy's super funny i don't know if i ever i don't know what the deal is if he's like a not a guy or girl anymore but super funny yeah let me show me his bank account i'll

give you the answer depends on how many zeros there are okay what if it's less zeros what would you say and he's still a guy yeah okay i was not invited to this excursion my wife has tried to explain his appeal so his big thing is his masculinity is like he doesn't like this queer comedian he goes no he goes i don't get this queer comedy i don't get and then his whole family is like well as queer people this is like he's our voice don't you get it

and he's like no the whole article is my wife and daughter like this comedian I don't really get that much yeah I don't but I'm learning

all about this stuff but I'm learning all about what I'm supposed to like and not like from my newly queer family and my because they're all recently

my wife is a dude now yeah my wife is our daughter came out as bisexual in middle school and then in high school she reassessed and came out as trans and lesbian his wife really didn't like the daughter taking all the attention you can just reassess your gender it's like an annual just like meeting you know like a performance evaluation so what are we thinking what do we think you got to tell you, this whole bisexual thing is very 2022. The kids are loving this transgender stuff. What do you think?

Non-binary. It's like a sale. It's like, you think we can maybe get you into this? What would it take to get you into a non-binary asexual identity? Okay, you know what? Hey, I'm not trying to push you. What would it take for me to have you walking out of here in women's clothing?

Let me just write down something And I'll just pass over a sheet of paper Let me know what you think You like write down the pronouns The new pronouns They You go They them

I don't know What do we think I see you're pretty nice What do we think What do we What do we think He goes You got a deal

He goes You don't really shake hands We don't shake hands anymore Yeah he puts down the Slides it across He puts down the pronoun what it would what are you thinking about this it just says gay i love it i love it i love it what would it take to have you walking out of here in women's heels i would love to see it and i'm not saying no listen we don't want to start so we don't have to go transgender it's not you know you don't have we could just be queer you go here's a little here's a little

industry secret you go queer doesn't mean anything yeah it means nothing and everything how does it sound we go queer it means nothing and everything all at once you go mom you're getting a little jealous your new daughter walking around here stealing the show a little bit, wearing your clothes. You want to really stick it to her? Non-binary. You go, what does that mean? Do I have to start wearing boys' clothes? You go, there's no such thing.

Yeah, there's no such thing as boys. There's no such thing. None of this stuff exists. The non-binary is so funny. You have 52 because you come home and you go, I'm non-binary. What does that mean? You go, uh, what does that mean? What does that mean?

What does that mean? Women have been doing this. He has to call his doctor back up. And he goes, hey, I started asking questions. I don't know how to answer. But like women have been doing that forever. Like we're essentially 50 and then they have like a buzz cut. Every woman over 50 is non-binary.

That's what I think. They're all non-binary. Now they're just like, oh, there's a term for it when I don't want to have long hair anymore. Every woman over 60 is non-binary. And it's like trendy, because they're all trying to like,

you know, get a little bit of their youth back. So now they're like, oh, it's actually kind of like, it's cool. I'm a boy. I'm a guy. My salt and pepper buzz cut

and my overalls. I'm not just a middle-aged woman anymore. What's the girl? I'm not even a middle-aged woman anymore what's the girl not even a woman at all i think she has a transgender daughter actually and she looks exactly what you're describing she's in scream she may be the mother in the scream uh she's got a salt and pepper haircut she's in a lot of different things i don't know okay nev Neve Campbell? No, it's not Neve Campbell. Scream cast. But this is... I haven't seen Scream in a long time. Okay, maybe she's not in Scream at all.

So there you go. Okay. Well, anyways, there's some lady that I was thinking of that fits the bill of what you're saying. Okay. Okay, moving on. I think there's a lot of people... Ah!

Fuck you. How about this? Yeah this yeah identifying as a juggalo in your old age yeah so she says she's not invited to the going seeing the queer comedy show wife's going to the new thing she goes i'm gonna need a gender she brings the consultant in she goes i'm gonna say she goes well if i'm not a girl if i'm not a going to say, she goes, well, if I'm not a girl, if I'm not a boy, what am I? She goes, non-binary. Yeah, I mean, it's the ultimate. My wife's known she was bisexual since she was in Indiana, though she was heavily, miserably closeted. Now she's married to a man, but she's also a man. Or not. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

I love this whole thing, though, where you're like, I'm this whole thing though where you're like it's been a really you're like i'm this whole thing you're like but you're married to a man none of this says anything the whole thing is like there's this article is nothing but i've they do they are they are bullying him and excluding him to people my daughter coming out as trans prompted my wife to think about her own gender you don't say yeah that is the most like narcissistic mom of all time though the daughter the son comes home and he goes mom I have to summon to tell you I'm a girl now. And the mom goes like, I have something to fucking tell you.

What is it? I'm I'll be back. And I have just wait. I'm not sure. That was me. I would just straight up to be like, Oh, just wait for this to just.

Okay. I guess. And she's since come out as non-binary though. She's retained. She, her pronouns. So the wife's sick going with she, her, but she's a dude, her pronouns. So the wife's going with she, her, but she's a dude, I guess.

Oh, she don't even change the pronoun. I would be losing my mind in this fucking clown house. I'll tell you what. Oh, I'd be like, maybe this is on Yahoo Sports because the end of this is going to be like a promo for like a man cave kind of set up, like some man cave company being like,

is your family all queer now? Well, then you need a man cave i mean listen uh while you guys were at the chris fleming concert i decided i took the liberty of getting some clothes for you guys what is it i got you both red noses because this is a house full of clowns i got i got three matching red noses for us because this is a house full of we're all just a bunch of fucking clowns. Well, good news. Yeah, you're right. You're not a boy or a girl because you're a fucking clown.

Genderless clown. I hope you're happy. It's tough when your kid is doing that, too. You're like, okay, well, this is tough. I hope my kid doesn't... Because you see a lot of states now are banning the surgeries. Web surgeries. Like gender reassignment surgery for

kids. For kids. Yeah. Which seems normal thing to do, but it's not. It's pretty spicy to some people, but imagine your kids doing that. You're like, what if my kid doesn't want to have surgery and shit? And then your wife's like, ahem, I'm also queer.

Okay. The daughter's getting, getting yeah the wife's getting the surgery on the daughter like it's one thing with the kids and you're like and then this just sucks

dude this would be such you know you go obviously like you probably married the type of girl and these people are all in if this you know the dad's writing articles

so this is the dad that's probably like whatever he's happy he probably this is like a communist yeah he thinks this makes him more interesting or whatever i do feel slightly judged by my nearest and dearest for dressing badly and having the same predictable gender representation i've always had uh so that's what this is where like the wife's sort of walking along and they're

just like oh just check you're still a dude pussy cis pussy yeah this is one of the guy's most recent articles he goes i wrote wrote about this really dreadful Nikki Sixx-funded slasher, which dispenses with a final girl to have a final patriarch instead. This is like the kind of stuff this guy's on. It's like breaking down slasher films. Be like, oh, you have to kill a woman at the end?

Really? Come on. That's what this guy's up to. Come on. This is the kind of stuff he's writing about. Yeah, so he's writing about the patriarchy and his whole house came out as non-binary. Every single person in his orbit. Maybe this guy's the-

Life imitates art. I'll tell you what, though. You say to this guy, you go, hey, is it possible that you go look around? You go, is there anyone around you that's retained their original gender? You go, maybe you're the problem, bud. Maybe everything you touch changes gender. Or we're just waiting on him to do it. Like he's

the final holdout you know this guy is the final holdout i'll tell you one thing that's making the birth rate rise a little bit during the pandemic i developed a relationship with an employee in my office in a way that did not meet the standards to which i hold myself as mayor and as a family man the relationship ended by mutual consent. I wonder how that kind of got... John Tory. I missed an ava-lava. So that's the Toronto mayor.

He's doing his part to keep the population up by smashing one of his subordinates. It's funny too because when he basically... The Toronto mayor basically was like

banging some girl that he works with during the pandemic and then they found out and they're trying to make him step down and everyone in pretty much in unison

was like who cares yeah who cares like I don't think well everybody's like we kind of like this guy everyone's like yeah this guy's fine like and they're like

well but he was banging some girl he works with and everyone's like so yeah like who cares like was it illegal and no one cares force himself on her

and like no no one gives a shit yeah but that's just how it is I mean they just gotta that was a surprising one though even Rob Ford didn't leave like that well the so in terms of places the taliban the taliban well now tough being the taliban it is tough being the taliban so the taliban bureaucrats hate working online all day and they miss the days of g i will say give

it up to Vice for writing an article where you feel bad for the Taliban by the end of it. You go, ah, Taliban's kind of the fucking craziest article. Grass is always greener, huh, Taliban? Grass is always greener. Yeah, and the gist of the article is the Taliban people were like, there's a lot of hustle and

bustle. They joined the Taliban. They were 20. They were fucking taking over Afghanistan and now they sort of took it over and now they all have paper like paper pushing yeah well they're all like yeah we were soldiers and all this stuff and we were like at war a civil war and they're like we won and now we have to like run a country and they hate it which is like a job but who in the taliban's allowed to do this vice interview they're like i don't know because a lot of people there's a lot of these taliban guys that are doing these interviews basically. I don't know how they got someone in multiple people in the Taliban to give these. Interviews with five former Taliban fighters reveal the crushing office life in the big

city. They're at the office and they're like, hey, you want to get these TPS reports done? He was like, I was thinking maybe I could suicide bomb someone and they go no we don't really bomb anymore they used to just

kill people all day so it really is I think that happens a lot though it's kind of like when you know the gang members they start having

like legitimate businesses and they're like hey so this other business you know what I mean they haven't paid their bills go kill them

and they're like no we just we're going to sue them and you're like okay you got soft I don't have time for this shit literally they're all like we're all addicted to the internet and twitter and stuff now and all we do is just spend our days on twitter they're really the taliban's really not having a good time the show the shield yeah remember the if you remember the final scene of the shield is

the way he gets punished because he was like this super corrupt cop. And then the way they punish him is he's just on desk duty. And that's how it ends. The whole series ends. It's just like he's on desk duty. It's like kind of how this is. Everyone in the Taliban, just like the one guy, he's like working on the accounting for the agricultural department. Yeah, for sure.

I mean, that's what they never thought. They never thought they'd win. They never thought they'd probably win. They thought we'll just be killing people and just blowing up shit, but we'll never actually get the country back. It really is the guy that like, you know, spent all this, the Pepe La Putra, spending all this time getting the girl.

Then once you get the girl, you kind of wake up the next morning being like, huh? Yeah. She's like, want to go shopping? And you're like, oh. Yeah. They almost need an invasion again. They need some sort of force to fight.

Maybe they need the aliens. Everyone needs something to fight back against, you know what I mean? Especially the Taliban. You know how annoying it is? That was crazy. That must be being the Taliban. And it's like these other people that you were out there pillaging and killing and raping and all this sort of stuff with in the fields.

And now you're just just going to the bathroom, sort of stopped by someone's desk. Like, Abdul, what is it? And the guy's like, can you not? I'm working. He goes, OK. You got like, Mohammed, what's up? And he's like, hey, come on. I have shit to do.

And the one judge is just like, he goes and looks in the mirror. And he just stands there. And he just sprays some water on his face. And he goes, Hey, Mr. Taliban. Taliban. Yeah, you have your lumber comes and goes, Hey, Cameron.

Sorry you were late today. We're going to have to dock your pay for that. We're going to have to dock your pay for that. It's not really cool, but this is a different Taliban. And if I can get you to maybe stay a little later to make that up that'd be great mo mo mo hours you know what they say mo mo mo overtime you know what they say

we're gonna need you to I miss the days of fighting in the streets too but that's what we do it for anyways and he like gives a little mo mo gonna need you to come in early today yeah That's what we do it for anyways. And he gives a little... Moe, Moe. There he is. Moe.

Going to need you to come in early today. Hey, it's like, hey, Cameron, is it casual Friday? Yeah. Oh, no, it's Wednesday. Interesting. So we're going to have you button those up. Going to need you to button those up, pal. Yeah, it's more of a Friday fit.

Hey, I didn't mean I didn't know if anyone wanted to say this but you're a little a little late hey Abdul so we've had a couple

complaints that you've been eating people's food out of the fridge so just you know it's just like if it has someone's name

on it you know that was that was Son it has someone's name on it you know that was that was Sonia's food and they go that bitch shouldn't even

women shouldn't even be in the office these women should not even I would have beheaded her in the streets okay well okay well that was that

and this is now we won so gonna need to stay away gonna need to stay away from Sonia's PB&J. She's your co-worker now. I have killed for less.

In these streets, I've killed for less. I mean, if you want to go back to that, he goes, I would love to go back to that. We're gonna have to have the Americans come in and invade us again. I don't know what to tell you. Well, in the meantime, gonna need you to finish out those email signatures, pal?

Got a lot of spamming to do. Building bridges. Good old days of jihad. Former snipers. The only thing he's sniping now is that French grueler from the brick room. It's unfinished meals from the fridge. Damn, dude,

that sucks. Yeah, that stinks, dude. Yeah, he used to be a sniper. He said, life was simple and free during

jihad. You think they all hate Biden because Biden was fucking evacuated? They probably hate Biden.

Biden's like, they're probably like, curse that Joe Biden. Like, yeah, you you hate america too no it's like we work around this fucking office now stuck in this desk all day yeah it's legitimately it's just like uh a dilbert but it's like a taliban guy working harder hardly working maybe the greatest thing ever You've been late

I love how they're legitimately Just like in cubicles now though Like they were like Fighting in the desert We're in dread Now they're just like Yeah we're in cubicles Oh my god

And they're like Can't afford to live in the big city either Cause like rents are out of control Oh this guy's got a friggin Like they all are They're just getting fucked It's gotta take a bus into an hour and a half into this cubicle in four years ago i had to kill that i must hate the women in the office if there is any yeah there's not that's the one thing taliban used to be free of restrictions now he's sitting

one place in front of a desk and a computer 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You do the same thing every day. Being away from family has only doubled the problem. So he doesn't even get to go home for his family. No, the traffic's bad too. It's Lumberg.

We need a good Muslim name for Lumberg. I'm not cultured enough to know about Slumberg. Slumberg. Yeah, I think that's what it is I sometimes miss the jihad life says 25 year old Abdul

so Abdul's not having a good time no spend most of my time on Twitter he's just dicking around on Twitter he's just got the Homer Simpson the the drinking bird the drinking bird

we're connected to speedy Wi-Fi so that's a plus says Muhadden including me many of us are addicted to the internet and mainly Twitter the drinking bird we're connected to speedy wi-fi so that's a plus says uh uh muja muha den including me many of us are addicted to the internet and mainly twitter so i'll not live in a good life no no so don't you know don't you always know what you got don't know to need you go but don't know what you've got till it's gone and paradise strap on a big bomb paradise but you don't know what you had till it's gone bomb paradise strap on a big old bomb bomb paradise that's the moral of the story is even when you think you're winning you're losing

yeah it is always you know what i've been liking you know like um every time whenever someone gets shot by the cops or whatever um the parents a lot of times will you know protest and stuff like that yeah but it's all it's like it's funny because there's like with the tory lanes thing like there's a lot of times where it was like a clear they were guilty like i always there was one recently where it was basically like a guy that got shot by the cops it was like maybe like a bad shooting or whatever but it's but the crazy part it was like this guy before that happened shot like three guys so his parents are like this is you know crazy the cops shot him but it's like it's funny the other parents of the people that are like, this is, you know, crazy. The cops shot him. But it's like, it's funny. The other parents of the people there are like, yeah, your son's a murderer. Your son murdered my son, right?

Yeah. And they're like, that's not what this is about though. We're protesting that thing. Yeah. It's just kind of like a weird thing. Like the Tory Lanez thing, the dad's out there being like,

this is a travesty. He's in jail. And everyone's like, okay, but like he did do it though. Yeah, he did do it. But you can imagine if you have a son that's like Tory Lanez, and then the dad, like if the son goes to jail,

you're doing everything you can to get him out because that guy is the breadwinner. He's probably funding like 40 people, you know? I mean, yeah. Well, good luck doing that from Canada once you're out of jail. I know. Okay, there's actually, fuck, there's so much good shit this week. A lot of good stuff.

There really was a good one. A lot of good stuff. It really was a good one. A lot of good stuff. I want to talk about that Mr. Beast thing again a little bit, but let's maybe do it after. Cause so this article, this man basically, uh, he asked if he's wrong for sending his parents to a hotel for,

because they were too loud during sex. I had to get to, we had to, you know, I had to get to this one. You know what it is. You know, you motherfuckers know how to get to this one.

Yeah. I can't believe that there's actually people who are like, it's nice. Like, aren't you just happy that your parents love each other? I'm like, no. Because they grew up in a sex positive household. That's what they said. And his parents keep boning. So a man asks if he's wrong.

So he writes that his siblings have always appreciated his parents' sex positive attitude. But he prefers to keep his private life private. And he says his embarrassment started right from the beginning when his relationship with his wife of several years, when his parents made a show of how cool they were while letting them share beds on visits. So this is basically when him and his wife started visiting. Yeah, yeah.

The guys. No separate beds for you two young lovers, huh? Uh-uh. this is this is basically when him and his wife started yeah the whole thing is like it was basically the sketch we just did i know i was thinking because he basically said i was i was mortified with my girlfriend at the time who couldn't stop blushing uh because they hadn't slept together but like that is crazy it's like you're 17 and you start dating a girl or whatever and you bring her home to your dad

and your dad's like I'll put my earplugs in you know give her hell kid I guess you're gonna be walking funny tonight oh you want me to bring the sex swing in

oh no I mean there's nothing embarrassing it's totally natural just explore each other's bodies explore each other's body there's nothing unnatural about using your father's sex swing now this is a family heirloom we guys like food can i get you guys some hot fudge some caramel maybe some whipped cream yeah we'll work it in there yeah that is so fun yeah they're just sitting there nice to meet you nice to meet you mr cooper he presses the button the sex swing comes on he goes i guess i'll leave

you two lovebirds alone he goes dad stop it he goes okay no no big deal no big deal and then you just hear him coming in your room and just plays really loud no no unusual that sure has a lot of lava lamps huh yeah yeah he has one of those things that you press it and the wall turns around. The chains. Heart-shaped bed. Now, okay, before, you know, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. I'm not trying to, do you have a safe word? No, huh?

Freaky. Freaky, no. Ooh. I like her. Honey, listen to this. They don't even have a safe word. I mean, we've always had a safe word. Mom comes down.

She's just in full bondage gear. She goes, are you coming up? She goes, zip. Are you coming up or what? I've been up there for 20 minutes. I'm starting to cramp. Me and the other guys are starting to cramp. The other guys, hey, hey honey could you come back up

here the other men are the other boys are getting tired yeah they're waiting for you what's going on we're all waiting for you yeah they're all just standing there you told us to wait for you they're all just standing over the over her bed like looking at their watches so i was i was loving the idea of the the dad so basically this is how it starts this is how he grew up you know what i mean anytime he brought a girl home and he goes so you know you and you're gonna let him give it to you and the girl's like oh mr cooper i don't think this is appropriate and she goes i'm gonna ask you a question this is sex positive household now it seems the tables have turned he writes that the guest's bedroom isn't even against a shared wall and yet we could hear everything i don't want to

hear everything i don't want to hear everything i don't want to hear anything and his wife thinks he's overreacting and uh so the guy's wife thinks he's overreacting and says i think it's lovely that a married couple in their 50s still has that attraction and energy he vehemently disagrees dude if i if i invited my dad to stay at my house and he went in a room and started boning super loudly. Like ridiculous. That is the, while your chick's with you, that is the craziest shit I've ever heard in my life. I wouldn't even like if you were like in a hotel. You know those hotels that have the shared door?

You know that it like locks, but there's like a shared door in between. So it could be like two suites or whatever. Like if that, I'd be like, no. Yeah, he's just banging her against the wall. Yeah. That's what you hear, too. Because you don't know what you hear.

I guess he's saying you hear just like clink, clink, clink. And just like loud moaning. Yeah, your mom. You hear your mom. Your mom's shit on my chest. You go, ah. Okay, mom, can you keep it down? This is a sex-positive household.

Oof, oof. Your dad's probably like that, too. Oof, oof, oof, oof. Gush. Hell. That's hell on earth. Yeah. The scene in MacGruber where he bangs the ghost,

that's what I'm picturing. This is crappy, man. Absolutely. Feel sorry for this guy. And the fact that he doesn't even have anybody agreeing with him. He's like, this is a bit absolutely feel sorry for this guy the fact that you and the fact that he doesn't even have anybody agreeing with him

he's like this is a bit much huh and the wife's like what do you mean what do you mean a bit much and the drywall falls onto your head yeah it's just like covered

you're like wait what's the problem yeah he comes out you're covered in drywall like literally like you look like you just finished you know drywalling a fucking house

it's all over you it's been sanding imagine how awkward it is. You sort of look at your wife and then she's like, you're just like, do we have to bone? Yeah, what's the deal here? I guess you put on- Not only that, but you're like, it's probably like right before dinner and then you're all sitting to dinner an hour later and you're like, so?

Yeah, yeah. She's like, oh, you're right, you're right. The dad's like, I'm sure you heard us. I was giving it to your mother. Totally normal. And you'll be hearing some more of this a little later once the Viagra's kicking. Let's just clear the air here. There's a bit of an elephant

in the room. Yes. That elephant is my hog after I was just giving it to your mother. Your mother comes over and she's like, listen, I'm going to need a cushion, obviously. So if you don't mind, I'm going to go grab my pillow because I'm feeling it a little bit right now.

The old people with the stairs and they have that seat that goes down, the automatic seat. And she's just like, Mom, are you okay? He goes, Your father just gave it to me real good. I'll be down in a moment. Yeah, the father walks down and the mother has to come down and the thing... Comes in and she just sits down like, Woo! And I'll wake you up.

It's 6 a.m. It's them at 6 a.m. What is for dinner? Hopefully a lot of carbs. Yeah, hopefully a lot of carbs. I mean, he'll eat, but I'm pretty full. If you guys get what I mean,

I got filled up. Guess you could say. She's like, no jokes out of you. Cum might come out of my nose. You go, I'm done. That's it. Okay, I think you guys are going to have to get a hotel.

I'll pay for it. Anything you want. Your mom laughs and snorts at the gun. Okay, I think... It's time for you two to get a hotel. All right. Spare no expense. Yeah, I think it's about time you two got a hotel, huh?

You just snorted cum all over the turkey. Oh, gross. got a hotel huh you just snorted cum all over the turkey oh gross these are your sex very positive it's just jerking them up you're just jerking them up you just hear this under the table okay mom what what what what what we love each other did we raise you to be a prude like this Just I love your father What can I say God This happens You're sleeping You just wake up

In the middle of the night You go what Your dad's there He goes hey Do you have any extra Anal beads Do you have any pliers I got the anal beads

Stuck in your mouth Oh my god Do you have a rubber Do you have a rubber He goes why do you Need a rubber You got to use a rubber He goes no I like to put it on my You get to use a rubber. He goes,

no, I like to put it on my head. I try to put my head there for sure. Okay, dad. Get out. Fucking emancipate yourselves from adult emancipation. You definitely have to do adult emancipation.

I'm an adult, but I'm still one who just emancipate myself. You definitely have to adult emancipate yourself from that. It's fucking nonsense. Yeah, it's a lot. It's fucking nonsense. Yeah, it's a lot. That's the tables have turned. He writes that the guest room bed isn't even against a shared wall.

The man asked his parents to stop having sex in his home, and when they refused, he sent them to a hotel. When he asked that, they at least refrained from having sex. They called him a brood. Your dad calling you a brood. Your mom. You're like, can't you just have less loud sex? His mom called him. Why isn't there some sort of in-between here?

Yo, that's so crazy that they called. Your parents called him a brood, and they go, this isn't how they raised you. Oh, my God. Your dad calling you a brood. Yeah, look at this, Daniel. You probably have sex with your shirt on, you prude. It doesn't even sound like they're like hippies either. Like they're too young to be hippies.

This is nuts. And they said they went to stay at his brother's house who also disagrees with how he responded to his parents' sex life and criticized him for imposing rules on his parents that they didn't have for us. And it was like, yes, because they're freaks, by the way. So the parents had to go to the brother's house.

But it's funny, the parents showing up at the brother's house, they got a condom in the hand still. Like, you know what I mean? They're barely unpacked. No, but I was saying, no, you have your, like, the stick with, like, your stuff in it. Yeah, yeah, the second bindle, yeah. They have a stick with just, like, a condom in it.

A condom just carrying all their shit. Well, I guess you didn you didn't i guess you heard the news brother is a bit of a prude so we're coming to stay with you like i don't have an extra bedroom that won't be a problem that won't be a problem we can do it any we can do it anywhere i would contact and it was over his sisters have turned against him as well. That must also suck for the Taliban, too, because they're sitting at the thing. This would have got them hyped up to be like,

we need to stop America when we hear about shit like this. Now all they do is they have to go on Twitter and be like, this is bad. Allah does not approve of this. Yeah, they just quote tweet it, sub-tweeting these people. His sisters have turned on him as well. So the fact that this guy is the bad guy in this scenario is absolutely nuts, and everyone turned on him as well. So the fact that this guy is the bad guy in this scenario is absolutely nuts and everyone turned on him,

but that's so funny. Also, we're not out of the woods yet, but I will say that Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly broke up, which means there's a possible chance that we don't have to really hear about them that much anymore. Yeah, I mean, if it honestly wasn't for my girlfriend, I think I would almost never hear about them. He's out and about, dude. He was at the comedy store.

He got in a fight with Sam Tripoli. Did you hear? Oh, I saw that. Yeah. I didn't know they got in a fight. I saw a photo of him with somebody. So, apparently, Machine Gun Kelly apparently showed up at the comedy store, and then they were doing some sort of roast show or whatever, and then Sam Tripoli was making fun of MGK,

and then MGK came backstage, and he was was like what are you doing making jokes about me and it's apparently sam tribley knows krav maga so he was like ready to go with them sort of thing oh i'd love to see that oh yeah he apparently he was like he was like yeah i'm like no i'm not afraid of him at all i was like super ready to go yeah and also it was like every comedian was on the side like imagine going to the comedy store and being like what do you think you're gonna do you're literally wearing like a fucking pink woman's outfit and like he's like wearing like that like borat fucking like bikini you're like you want to go he's legitimately like wearing like a woman's outfit he's posting a video of him like crying every second day and he's going to the comedy store and he's like i should

not be made fun of and you're like i guess he thinks just like because the rest of hollywood it's like everyone probably sucks up to him because he's in movies but comedians it's like don't care about that shit is he in movies yeah he was a big movie star now kind of right but anyways he's the eye roll of the century as far as i'm concerned and then they basically posted uh uh that the incident that one of the things they posted about was him he was he was on like he was doing a late night you know tour and talking about this and there was some phone call that got recorded and all this and he goes he reports that megan uh fox called him and he goes you aren't here for me and then he goes i'm in a room and i put the shotgun in my mouth and i'm yelling on the phone with the

barrel of the shotgun in my mouth and i cocked the shotgun and uh blah blah so this is the kind of stuff he's doing. He's on the phone with his girlfriend crying in a fucking hotel room with a shotgun being like, I'll do it. I'll kill myself. It's like, yeah,

this guy stinks, right? Yeah, for sure. I would tell him to do it. Why don't you, why don't you fucking do it? Yeah.

Yeah. This guy stinks. I know. I don't, I don't really care about it. That's the problem is I don't, it's not like I know. I don't really care about it. That's the problem. It's not like I'm like, oh, I care about her. I don't care about any of them.

I'm just happy that they're not going to be in the mix anymore. But what will be in the mix is a fantastic episode at patreon.com slash Oh, we got some spicy stuff. The Boys cast.

We got something real spicy that can't be. We got some real Oh, yeah, we got some We got something real. Oh, actually, I know what you're talking about. You're right.

And actually, Danny's legitimately been told not to say this on podcast. Yes. Patreon.com slash the boys cast. You already know what it is. Come hang with us. Big tings.

Tings.