The Boyscast with Ryan Long - Women Won't Stop 'Exposing' Their Ex's Text Messages, & Jason Aldean is Cancelled

Episode Date: July 21, 2023

Bee Pollen makes boobs grow, new groping rules in Italy cause women to grope themselves in protest, the Taliban endorses Twitter over Threads, and NDA's for dating? SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: Factor - Go t...o factormeals.com/boyscast50 and use code BOYSCAST50 at checkout for 50% off your first box Manscaped - Go to manscaped.com and use promo code BOYSCAST at checkout for 20% off and free shipping SUPPORT THE BOYSCAST: https://www.patreon.com/theboyscast http://ryanlongcomedy.com MERCH - ryanlongstore.com Ryan @ryanlongcomedy Danny @dannyjokes LEAVE US A FIVE STAR REVIEW! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 People in the media are calling Jason Aldean's new song, Try That In A Small Town, racist. And honestly, sometimes the media just gets things so wrong, we have no choice but to comment on it. Alright, you tell me what exactly is racist about these lyrics, okay? In the city, they are everywhere. Some wearing leather and some have long hair. They grab your hand, at first you say no, but I have a wife, you start to shout. Try that in a small town. I guess they don't want you to have a wife now. It's something about family values is problematic with the media.
Starting point is 00:00:26 It's hard to keep up, really. That's how I see it. You were only at the parade as a joke, but now you're on your way to his hotel. You bite down on the pillow and think of your family. Why am I letting this strange man manhandle me? Try that in a small town. I mean, he's getting in a fight. It's known to happen.
Starting point is 00:00:41 I don't know if that's like a masculinity issue. The two guys will be fighting and one's manhandling the other. Yeah, big city happen. I don't know if that's like a masculinity issue that two guys will be fighting and one's handling the other. Yeah, big city crimes out of hand, stuff like that, you know. Anyways, I say I've never done this, but I was here last year telling my wife I'm with Jimmy drinking beer.
Starting point is 00:00:54 I tried all the methods like praying it away, but then why am I locked in this dungeon with Dave? Try that in a small town. You know, we're all sort of locked in the dungeon of life and I believe that's what he's talking about right there. Sometimes songwriters will, in their lyrics, use metaphors to illustrate the points that they're trying to make.
Starting point is 00:01:11 Obviously. Anyways, Dave is now joined by Barry and Steve. I wear a disguise so they don't know it's me. Dave must be hungry, and I don't mean for food. Steve's last name must be Paddock, because he's about to shoot. Try that in a small town. We all wear a disguise sometimes. I don't know what's the problem with pointing that out.
Starting point is 00:01:29 I don't really see how they could even have a problem with that. I think it's a nice song. Gun violence is a problem in the country. He was obviously drawing attention to that by talking about how, I believe it was Dave in the story that he's about to shoot. And Barry and Steve. Honestly, the whole thing's just lazy, and I just think we had no choice but to comment on that before we start the episode.
Starting point is 00:01:45 Yeah. The boys. The boys cast. The lads. The boys cast. The dudes. Prepare yourselves for the boys cast. The bros.
Starting point is 00:01:56 The boys cast. The homies. The boys cast. The dudes. The boys cast. The Dukes The Spirits Of The Stars The Boys Cast
Starting point is 00:02:07 Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys
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Starting point is 00:02:13 Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys
Starting point is 00:02:13 Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys
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Starting point is 00:02:14 Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys Zazaz. Zazaz. This guy. Zazaz. So, as some of you know, I've been chatting with him.
Starting point is 00:02:26 Billionaire's stepson. Yeah. You know, that died in the submarine. About to inherit some Skrilla. About to inherit some Skrilla. He's been going wild on the internet. I was the only guy that had this person's back. And then, so he got fired from his job for his tweets. He's doing all sorts of stuff. He's being persecuted.
Starting point is 00:02:41 I've been chatting with him online, as you know. I'm chatting with him on Instagram. I'm chatting with him online as you know chatting with him on instagram i'm chatting with him on twitter trying to get him to go the boys guest i literally go hey we'll come to san diego or you come here and then he's he's like he's like a loose cannon completely right well that's part of the charm i guess it is part of the charm and he's posting online essentially being like i got all this money and I can't get laid still. Where are the bitches at? All this sort of stuff. Come on. He's trying to use some of the fame to get some chicks, which no one's hating on him for.
Starting point is 00:03:11 But he's getting blasted in the press. You know what I mean? He's putting it out there. And then I'm simply saying, we're going to give you a platform with a lot of listeners. Yeah. To just tell your side of the story. Sure. Tell the ladies what's up.
Starting point is 00:03:25 Maybe express some of your grief. We might even do a dating show for him you know what i mean we have a lot of ideas and then so he starts messaging me on instagram he's saying you know he'd be loved to do it and then he messages on twitter and i say hey come on you're switching platforms huh i'm trying to get a hold of this guy even keep on he legitimately responds to me he goes love to do it that'd be fun blah blah blah he goes and then he messages me he's like i don't even care if you roast me and i was like yeah maybe but like literally we're not trying to do that i actually want you to come on we're going for full barbara walters i'm not my point is never to bring like a wild man on and then just like i'm not trying to be like you said said this. Yeah, of course. You know what I mean? It's not a gotcha.
Starting point is 00:04:05 Right. I'm hanging with the boys. I want to just hang with them. You're hanging with the bereaved boys. And I thought everyone would like it. And then he just basically goes cold, and then he'll answer again. So now I'm just like, if we went to San Diego, I feel like we'd be getting off the plane to have cold messages.
Starting point is 00:04:20 You know what I mean? We'd be sitting there with our dicks in our hand. I even said, I was like, we'll buy you plane tickets whatever and he was like yeah don't even worry i'm coming and then blah blah then he just like and i was like hey how's this day and then he just stopped responding so i don't know what to do with anything better going on unless he's getting in trouble from his mom unless this sounds like the work of a mom you think mom's saying you're not doing the boys get off the internet you're not doing that boys cast. Brian, get off the internet. You're not doing that boys cast. I've heard about that boys cast. They're no good.
Starting point is 00:04:47 He goes, mom, they said I could fight in New York though. You go, no. You're not going to New York. You're not getting girls. He's taking your Twitter away. She literally took his phone away. That's the only thing I can think about. He lost his job.
Starting point is 00:04:59 The media is going crazy on him because he's posting all sorts of stuff. He's like like any girls message me even trans girls everyone's on the market and then he wants to give black people money he wants to give black people money yes and then there's other people where he'll be uh there's some people will post on his thing and he'll just call them not hot and stuff like that so he's basically been going wild but we can't get a hold of this guy he's like off he's like a loose cannon sounds like he's grounded he has to be grounded but if you're hanging with him right now you gotta get this guy he's got a lot of uh yeah tough name to pronounce i don't even
Starting point is 00:05:35 know how to pronounce it that's coming from me so this is the weekend of a boy's wins this week yeah tiger woods nda danny just yeah just it just this is hot off the press then the girlfriend nda held up in court rock solid nda people that's got to be a hit huge oh so what was she trying to get just the fucking works she was trying to get 30 well she was just trying to get 30 million dollars because we've talked about it before but basically she was living in his mansion he kicked her out she said that they had an oral agreement that like she could live there for some period of time for her to rent a comparable mansion for that period of time would be like 30 million she needs the mansion fund basically she's like that's what i'm
Starting point is 00:06:15 owed and he's just like bitch you signed an nda and she's sort of showing up to the courts like oh please sir yeah please let me break my NDA. This is America. She says, yes. No. She's begging. She's in the courtroom begging. She's wearing her scrappy clothes. Oh, please, Mr. Judge.
Starting point is 00:06:34 I just need a mere 30 mil. Oh, please. She has one of those stories. I know. She deserves it in her mind. Dear Judge, I was fired from my job and my boyfriend kicked me out. I have 19 kids. All I need is $30 million to get me back on my feet and buy a train ticket back to my house.
Starting point is 00:06:56 She should go lock herself to the front doors of Augusta National until this gets settled. So the judge held it up. Well, I mean, look, it's like that is the you know one of the biggest like basis of america and the whole system here is that we respect contracts like that's the deal this is what makes us like separate from those savages in other countries canada uh but no it's just like you know it's contract law and he said look you signed a deal honestly you do need deals these days because I don't know if you've noticed, but it started recently with, there's been a few recently,
Starting point is 00:07:32 and obviously Jonah Hill was part of that. But there's just like, every time you look, there's a new breakup. And the girl's just like, here's everything he said to me ever. Oh, I mean, if Jonah Hill is not, I mean, I guess he's got a new chick. So, but if you are a level of fame like nda should be standard okay where it's like for a relationship like just when you know this is going to become trendy to be releasing all your private shit who what gonna become trendy or it is my friend my friend but it's picking up steam you know it's like legitimately every girl's just like you break up with the girl and she's like i got a little
Starting point is 00:08:04 fucking trick up my sleeve. Every message you've ever sent to me. Yeah. Well, no. Not the good ones. That's the worst part. It's not every message. It's not every message.
Starting point is 00:08:11 They take all the ones that make you look good. You go, all the bad messages out of context you've ever sent. It's been happening a lot. Yeah. So this girl, there's one right here. The girl's name is Baborexia, right? And again, I'm just picking one. There's 15, 000 right now i've
Starting point is 00:08:25 seen three things on twitter in the last two days where girls like yeah you think he's a good guy well check those out call me we need a scumbag steve yelled at me once we need a female scumbag steve meme it is it's scumbag sue sue sarah scumbag sarah scumbag sarah should be the it's any girl that posts the messages of the guys she dated you know what I mean you know what the crazy part is would you ever in your life
Starting point is 00:08:49 date a girl that she was publicly like fucking released every text message of her last boyfriend and someone will oh no and some idiot will
Starting point is 00:08:57 but you gotta be out of your mind call me old school but if you're a lady and you get fucked over by a guy just slash his tires move on with your life flash the tires i'll take a tire yeah tire slashing that's so inconvenient
Starting point is 00:09:10 they don't want this tire slashed down they want the reputation it's so satisfying too to slash tires like it's like instant gratification you slash those bad boys oh there you go chicks love that stuff there's you get in there just slash some tires you don't need to get those messages out there to get the messages out there you don't need to get the messages out there forever I think honestly it used to be you're saying if you're famous
Starting point is 00:09:28 I think like the friggin plumbers need to be walking around handing out NDAs right and left you honestly need a personal NDA every guy
Starting point is 00:09:36 in the future is just gonna be like before you even go on a date you're gonna sign an NDA that should be the new dating app like that should be NDA included in the app
Starting point is 00:09:44 yeah it's in the app oh a bunch of girls would sign up for the NDA but the that should be uh included in the app yeah it's in the app what girl would sign up for the guy signs it too everybody's signing the end you have to convince the girls it's good for them somehow i mean say it's like a new tier on raya so it's like people are already on raya right because that's where the good guys are the high end one or whatever right so it's like raya but with with NDAs. But for both parties, right? You're not even saying like, oh, only the women have to sign. Everybody's signing an NDA.
Starting point is 00:10:08 I know that, but why would the girl care? Equality, I don't know. We actually have an okay pitch on that where it means I can't talk about you in my act. Yeah, for sure. We actually know a few people that have had NDAs where they can't talk about their person in their comedy.
Starting point is 00:10:24 I won't slander you on my podcast perfect right yeah i don't think i would do that i won't uh get to get a billboard at time square and i'm planning to and i'll see how cheap they are this is you before you've even been on the date telling her this it's just she's like and then it's like three fall. They're like, hello? Hello? Bitch. She's like, what is this paperwork? You're sitting in the other room. Your bodyguards have a new sign of paperwork. You're at the side.
Starting point is 00:10:56 You work at the bank. You know what I mean? And she's like, why? And you go, oh, I just want to show you the price of billboards right now before you said you don't sign this. I know you said I'm not famous or anything, but damage can be done. Well, really, obviously the girl does come across a little bit like, what is this guy about to do? Well, then he'd be like, look, just with what's going on, it's been mostly women. I'm saving you for me.
Starting point is 00:11:21 This is for you, man. Yeah. You're saving you from yourself. Yeah. It's saving you for me. This is for you, man. Yeah, I'm saving you from yourself. Yeah. It's everybody's wins here. Like, again, it's not like, it's not Tiger Woods where Tiger, like, she was never like,
Starting point is 00:11:30 hey, Tiger, you signed an NDA too. And he's like, well, why would I do that? You know, it's like, obviously. So it's like both parties signed the NDA and there's no disclosure. You just have a relationship. Obviously, I think this is, we're living in a dream world
Starting point is 00:11:41 that this is going to happen. This is the number one. They love doing it, man. It's their favorite thing to do. You're more likely to trick a woman into signing an NDA than actually getting her to sign one. Well, that might not hold up in court though, right? Oh, that's a good point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That she was inebriated
Starting point is 00:11:54 or something like that. I was just thinking maybe you'd have her like... Gotta use the lover boy method to get her signed an NDA. Hey, can you sign something for me? Hey, oh, hi, baby, baby. No, what about this He goes He goes
Starting point is 00:12:06 It's so crazy Like they don't really Teach kids cursive anymore Huh Isn't that crazy Do you remember Like learning your signature What does your John Hancock
Starting point is 00:12:13 Look like Kids these days Huh They just stop Teaching them cursive Like they'll never need it Anyways did you learn cursive What do you want me to do to you
Starting point is 00:12:21 I want you to pop Your John Hancock On here Pop your old John Hancock In here Oh there's nothing That'll get me to do to you? I want you to pop your John Hancock on here. Pop your old John Hancock on here. There's nothing that would get me so hot if you just popped the John Hancock on this fucking... On this blank document. On this 18-page NDA.
Starting point is 00:12:38 Yeah, baby, I want to just get your fucking Hancock on here. I'm grabbing your dog. You a freak, huh? gaga you a freak huh oh you a real freak huh so this is I'm just gonna read you a little bit of this what the big expose
Starting point is 00:12:52 was for this guy too by the way do we know who the guy is the poor chump yeah he's like a rich dude he's a rich dude public singers
Starting point is 00:12:59 this is the that is the mold like most female singers sort of end up with a rich dude you know what I mean yeah that's a pretty common yeah yeah for sure well because they can't i mean female singers that's the you know people they've made this uh joke about a lot of people but it's you know
Starting point is 00:13:13 how do you how does a female singer change the light bulb she just puts her hand on and the world revolves around her and you've heard that about other things too but it originally is a female singer joke it's like a genre of musician joke. Okay. Because there's no... And if you even watch, like, it's the... They'll go through... No one will go through, like, very extreme, serious relationships like female singers. Yeah. They are the most...
Starting point is 00:13:36 That is true. It's hard, right? They're just, like, they've been a superstar since they were young. They've had everyone doing everything for them. They're so powerful that I think it's hard for them to sort of relinquish any power to a guy which kind of and they're just not normal people anymore they've like just probably lost touch with reality lost touch with reality they're stuck in the sort of middle ground of not wanting a simp but also can't ever let like a guy be important because they're the center of the universe so they end up in the situation where they try to turn
Starting point is 00:14:02 a powerful guy into a simp and that becomes like an issue with them or they pick a simp and then they don't like him yeah so you know i mean especially if you pick a simp and you're this million you know multi-millionaire famous person so it's a hard it is a hard uh hard for them to find like a person with all the them being uh that famous and psychopaths yeah and the biggest psychopaths in the history of the universe and generally like if you're a female singer, obviously there are the Whitney Houston's and the whatnot, where you go, that's a very talented singer. But a lot of them are like, they're fine.
Starting point is 00:14:31 Yeah, she's just a pop star. Yeah, she's just a pop star. You're not the best singer in the world. Yeah, maybe the soulful ones are a little different. Like Whitney Houston, she's like, okay, that's a really good singer. But a lot of them are just like, whatever. I'm not really talking about, and he left me on Friday, and now it's Saturday.
Starting point is 00:14:44 I'm talking about that less than like, like in a dingy jazz club. Oh, gotcha. Yeah, yeah. You know me. That kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. Girl Michael Bolton, Michelle Bolton. Girl Michael Bolton.
Starting point is 00:15:00 Well, this girl, her big expose was that this guy called her fat. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And then basically... The guy she was dating called her fat, or her boyfriend. The rich boyfriend. And this is... I'm just going to read a bit of his message that's the expose.
Starting point is 00:15:14 This is the... She's going through all the stuff, and this is the worst she's got on him. Hey, I never said you weren't beautiful. I never said I didn't love you. In fact, I said how beautiful you are and how much I love you. But I've always said I would be honest with you. And your face was changing, so I told you it was. Damn.
Starting point is 00:15:32 There's nothing harder than explain. What are you supposed to do? There is no perfect answer. I know the old school wisdom is just like, no matter what she says, you tell her she looks great. It's like, to what end? Yeah. To what end?
Starting point is 00:15:44 At what point do you speak i mean and not only that but women are so willing to go like get that fixed like if there's an external like you know filler and surgeries and botox and all that stuff like they're willing to go do that stuff but they have to know exactly how long were they together that he was noticing her face she was probably listening to the poison of you know empowerment you know what i mean because she's no one's given these broads of the right age you have a mustache now where he goes i'm really noticing the facial changes you have a mustache everyone's afraid of these ladies i'm telling you female singer you know she's they're they're like tyrants right even the makeup artist and the fitting person you know what i mean they i bet
Starting point is 00:16:23 you they have like wardrobe people that are like scratching off xl and turning it into l just because they don't want to know that yeah totally she goes i'm not an extra large and you go of course you're not oh my god i'm so sorry and she goes i i think you might be extra large she goes fire her yeah just they're like old school uh tyrants yeah yeah you gotta watch out for him i was was laughing with Corinne. The idea was she was saying that, like, not wanting to give head because it's, like, degrading. So a guy has to make it not degrading. I go, I was saying that, like, oh, I have an offering for you, my queen. Oh. Yeah, that's the only way.
Starting point is 00:17:00 It's the only way. Oh, it is me, a'm your servant with a helping for my for my high queen but I am your house peasant offering you your dinner that would be tough for those girls who like to be degraded well if degrading is easy it's the ones that don't
Starting point is 00:17:18 because there is those girls that are just like I want to be freaking talk to but not degraded you have to find it. That's what I would say. They have to sort of make it nice and dirty. Like, here comes the airplane. You got to...
Starting point is 00:17:34 You have to sort of find the... But I think the best way is the medieval peasant outfit and just being like, oh, my high queen. Nothing would bring me greater joy than if I were to be able to fill your orifice. It would be such an honor. That's what you have to do with those girls. You got to trick them.
Starting point is 00:17:53 You got to beat their own programming. Yeah, you only have to trick those girls. Well, this girl, at what point, though, you know, at what point when she's breaking floorboards, can you say something? Or you just have to never? No, no. Once you date a girl,
Starting point is 00:18:06 you never tell her anything's bad ever. That's how some chicks want it. The empowered queens. That's how they like to have it. The empowered queens like it like that. The empowered queens do not want to be told what to do. The empowered queens want to be told they look great forever.
Starting point is 00:18:18 Stop asking at the very least. What am I, your frigging yes man? That's what they want, a yes man. Yeah, that's fine. That's what the girlfriends are for. You just like... Danny Yesman. Danny Yesman? No no so i i'll tell you what i would be in this problem as well because and i'll tell you what i wouldn't handle it as much as this guy
Starting point is 00:18:35 yeah this guy she asked me that she goes well i want you to be on i'd send her a before and after i wonder how much the face has changed Like what time frame Well so apparently she put on like 40 pounds or something Okay here we go You gained 35 pounds Obviously you gained weight and your face changes right So he's trying to actually be like I think he is
Starting point is 00:18:55 So I think I'm understanding this a little better now So obviously her body has changed way more than her face Yeah you were sort of zoning in on the face But he's just saying the face Because he's trying to be like yeah He almost wants to be like, yeah, he almost wants to be like, you know, your face. You look like a freaking pancake. But I think he's trying to more
Starting point is 00:19:09 relate to how he thinks he could turn this boat around. Like if he targets her body, maybe he thinks that'll be more of a sore spot. Possibly. So he's just being like, your face is kind of, you know, you don't want your face to look better. Body looks amazing with the 40 pounds. And honestly, this is a certain, this is like one of those girls that uh puts on weight okay because she sort of just has that like
Starting point is 00:19:29 Kardashian-y look where it's not it's not a total slob job it's just you know whatever she's a famous singer again do whatever you want but it's like and I get it you're just like hey I'm this famous singer if I want to put on weight I can put on weight and yeah maybe you're right yeah but if you ask the guy the question for sure what he's got a lie don't ask questions you don't want answers you know you look the you haven't put on a pound what's your name scale says to be continued one at a time would you do you ever have you ever told the girl she's put on weight uh no you wouldn't have those stones uh the current one, but more joking. Joke, never serious.
Starting point is 00:20:06 Yeah, constantly joking. Never serious. No, no, no. I mean, look at me. What you have to do is you have to fight fire with fire. You have to put on some weight yourself, and then you go, we need to lose a bit of weight. That's the only way you can do it.
Starting point is 00:20:16 That is the real only approach. That's the real only good approach. We're really tipping the scales here. Yeah, I don't think you can. You got to have some fucking like unless you're like some dude who's crazy workout guy and then you sort of have a joint scale and every day the two of you step on together look at us trying to lose weight and you're forcing them to go to the gym and then you're basically like hey i don't think you're pulling your weight and us
Starting point is 00:20:36 losing weight and then she's like who put the padlock on the fridge i'd like to get in here you go this is our padlock we are holding the hands together we stand in solidarity she's like but you know the code and i don't he goes i know i've forgotten the code i have a locksmith coming tomorrow and every day after that at the same time to unlock the it goes um come on i gained three pounds and you call me chubs so this girl's giving it back honestly doesn't mean you don't love me if you're trying to find reasons to break up this makes sense but it's not the real reason oh he's this place this guy's a smart dude he's like a rich older dude right so he's he's not his first rodeo that's for sure i mean if he's rich enough he's
Starting point is 00:21:20 like yeah he's like literally in our unwritten agreement he's like i need you like a little less a little less weight uh-huh yeah it is an unwritten agreement it's like i can't be poor and you can't be fat it isn't yeah exactly it is you're very right that it isn't like i lose all my money you leave you gain too much weight i leave but this guy's been he's been through this path before and it's not his first rodeo where the horse gets broken if you're unhappy with me or yourself or life and you don't see a future with us that's fine but don't anyways he goes on to that guy played it very well he goes he goes listen and she exposed him i think you're beautiful you put on a couple yeah no big deal i think what you're
Starting point is 00:21:58 doing right now something else this ain't about you know me just telling the truth about your way what you're doing right now something else and. And if that's the road you want to go down, then you are welcome to go down. Don't try to put this on me because I made a comment, which is true. This guy's bang on. And she posts this. She posts this to be like, can you believe this guy?
Starting point is 00:22:19 And you read this thing. Anyone with a brain is a lot nicer than most people would have done. Did she name him or no? It's a big public figure. I don't remember the guy's name or whatever. We're not going to embolden that kind of behavior by naming these names on this podcast.
Starting point is 00:22:36 Thank you. I'm not loving this new thing that girls are doing. Honestly, I think our NDA thing is going to have to be in play soon this is like revenge porn but like the female version for females
Starting point is 00:22:48 this is revenge porn for women this is such female revenge porn this should be illegal revenge porn is illegal it's revenge what do they call it
Starting point is 00:22:55 like food porn it's just revenge well in her case it's food food bukkake it's just it's just revenge which they say is a dish served cold but she'll never let it get to that
Starting point is 00:23:08 dish serve called once it gets called the patent law comes on you guys because i've never gotten to that point so we were talking about this off camera but the taliban um the taliban endorses threads no the, the Twitter. Twitter, sorry. So the Taliban, first of all, we should just say, people are getting paid on Twitter. Yeah, well, 10 people got paid.
Starting point is 00:23:34 I thought it was more than 10. Or like, it was not. Dude, the Krasenstein brothers are freaking. No, just the one Krasenstein. They're swimming in money. They're posting photos doing Scrooge McDucks in a pool of coins. The thing is, so yes,
Starting point is 00:23:43 the Krasenstein, the Internet Hall of Fame dude got $100,000. That guy's a bit, you know how crazy it is that this guy just legitimately posts memes that he found and he's making $100,000. But people were kind of, so this was the first batch to kind of get it. And it was a really savvy move by Elon because he did this basically. He announced it in February, but then on the heels of a week after Threads came out and Threads was starting to already lose some steam.
Starting point is 00:24:10 Well, Taliban's off. Yeah. Taliban's done with Threads. I mean, everybody's done. Threads sucks. Threads was a one-day experiment. Literally, I'm like, I maybe go check it once a week now, and I go, oh, yeah. Me too.
Starting point is 00:24:21 It's crappy as it was before. Threads stinks. Threads blows. Beat it, Zuck. For an app that has 120 million users on it it's like maybe the biggest dud that it legitimately you go on and it's almost like fake it's i've never seen anything like this it was like everyone kind of used it because it forced everyone to do it yeah everyone posted one or two things and then every three days
Starting point is 00:24:40 someone goes back and being like still doing this yeah i mean it's just you can't search on there like search is one of the best features of twitter is that you can use as a search engine i think they missed their opportunity they missed it completely but then like a very savvy move by elon to be like hey we're paying people now uh here's the first which i crunched the numbers it's um i think you get for five million fifty bucks for five million impressions which is like five million impressions is like, not, nothing, obviously.
Starting point is 00:25:07 Okay. But like, so that Internet Hall of Fame dude was getting billions, like to get 100 grand is like, we're not even. And impressions
Starting point is 00:25:14 is like easier to get than a view, right? And they just, they just sit there and tweet all day. Like the Krasistein's fingers are like almost gnawed off from the phone.
Starting point is 00:25:21 It's one cent per thousand impressions. Okay. Well, whatever it is, these people are getting paid. Yeah, they're getting paid cent per thousand impressions. Okay. Well, whatever it is, these people are getting paid. Yeah, they're getting paid. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:27 Because there's a lot of people who are very mad because they're like, why aren't I getting paid? I meet all the criteria. And the first batch of people was pretty much hand-selected by Elon. It was a smart move
Starting point is 00:25:37 to just get the word out that it was happening. Hopefully, they roll it out fairly to everybody. I don't know how that's going to work, though. But yeah, anyways, Threads stinks. Threads stinks. Th anyways threads stinks thread threads and the taliban basically everyone it's pretty funny that a lot of the taliban guys are just like in the mix yeah because you have to remember
Starting point is 00:25:55 because everyone just thinks like the taliban the way you know it's almost you really just associate it with like you know actual like terrorists blowing up the thing but you go they're the government yeah they're the government yeah it's funny to think of though you know what i mean because you're like oh the fucking taliban you're like you mean the government the government they have a cooler name yeah it's like they're like bureaucrats yeah for sure yeah you know like we've even said before they don't like their office jobs like this guy's like the ministry of agriculture and we're like the tal ooh the taliban this guy well the guy specifically this article is like the chief philosopher of the government.
Starting point is 00:26:25 They have a chief philosopher? That's who this guy is. It's a solid name. Yeah, he's like the chief philosopher. Well, he basically said he was, obviously, what they really are saying is they are kind of like,
Starting point is 00:26:37 you know, not super pro-LGBTQ and all that sort of stuff. And he's basically saying whatever we post on threads, they're censoring us. Whereas the Taliban has free roam on Twitter. But it's just, to me, it's obviously funny.
Starting point is 00:26:49 A guy like doing a, he's like, do you know how hard it is to recruit people on threads? Are you kidding? Our beheading video got taken down in 45 minutes on threads. Cancel culture. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, Taylor Lorenz was like like she was getting all mad because she had all these posts taken down on threads like she was like later twitter fuck off losers and then like she's on threads and removing her posts what kind of balls like whatever i don't
Starting point is 00:27:17 know i don't even remember but they were like they were like their community guidelines are way stricter exactly you know on on threads especially so uh yeah it's that stinks yeah the taliban wanted to get there like i i obviously the taliban's not posting beheading videos anymore no they're not but they it is funny this is another dub for them though because this came out when this came out was like the day after threads came out and like literally i mean that's another organization that the Taliban is called. It's Threads.
Starting point is 00:27:47 Threads. Threads is done. I always love it when Osama bin Laden's brother, and it'll be like, Ben bin Laden. He's from Houston, born in Houston. Yeah, and he just loves Trump and stuff like that. Osama bin Laden's niece is a big TikToker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she started her own.
Starting point is 00:28:07 She started her own. Do you know what it was called? No. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tock. All right. So we're going to move on here for a second. Some other stuff to talk about. Enough about the Krasnick signs.
Starting point is 00:28:22 Let's get shit right there. Enough about the Krasnick signs. You think the Krasenstein's are beefing though because the one brother didn't get any money the krasenstein's well there's only one of them
Starting point is 00:28:29 they're not that's not a shared account they each have their own account well the krasenstein's brother that was getting money yeah he legitimately went on vacation because he got so much money
Starting point is 00:28:37 he posted he's like well needed vacation from tweeting yeah from tweeting yeah yeah I mean people they probably gave out
Starting point is 00:28:43 I would guess the total is about half a mil which is really nothing in the grand scheme of things but if they actually start giving out um dude if you're a guy that does that all day every day and they're just like hey here's 40 grand for doing that you're like what yeah it's it's an amazing bonus but you also have to think like if you're getting you know like a billion impressions a month you should that should be worth more than the the money like the money that they're giving you is obviously nice but you should be able to turn that into probably something sure even bigger hopefully but some of them can't man we know people that have big twitters and they have a podcast with 45 people and listen to it it is
Starting point is 00:29:15 true the twitter the twitter fame ends starts and dies on twitter i mean it is such a weird you are important nowhere other than twitter sometimes you can get a few people to dingle over to your sub stack yeah yeah yeah no but then they ban some stack exactly i'm telling you that is true yeah your your twitter fame for the most part every social every social media app is an island it's like its own island basically when it's so hard to get people to like it's very difficult to get people to pop over. It's very difficult to get people to pop over. Stop, drop, thank you very much. I need somebody with factorist touch.
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Starting point is 00:33:08 That's code boyscast50 at factormeals.com slash boyscast50 to get 50% off. So I saw Sound of Freedom. Yeah. And you've, we were talking about this a bit last night, but you were the one that introduced me to the conspiracy theories last episode. I hadn't really heard that much about it.
Starting point is 00:33:29 Okay. You've been pretty knee deep into this stuff. And since I've seen, honest to God, every conspiracy theory probably under the sun about this movie. Sure. Okay. So yeah. So give me a review.
Starting point is 00:33:39 Oh, you know, give me, give the backstory. Of the conspiracy theory. Well, the QAnon stuff. So there's the QAnon stuff. So Jim Caviezel is the star of the backstory. Of the conspiracy theory. Well, the QAnon stuff. So there's the QAnon stuff. So Jim Caviezel is the star of the movie. He has been on record as saying he believes that they are harvest, like they're basically global elites are harvesting children's organs to make adrenochrome, which then the elite. This is the star or the writer?
Starting point is 00:33:59 This is the star, Jim Caviezel, who's also Jesus and the Passion of the Christ. Oh, so this guy's in the mix. Yeah, and so he gives the interviews with Steve Bannon and stuff, where he's like, he believes Adrenochrome is real, which is the pretty far-out conspiracy. And he thinks the global elite, and the way that they get it is they terrorize little children, and it's like they're so scared, and then they kill them.
Starting point is 00:34:23 Come on, really? It's not true right the gist the gist of it is that like it's sort of like certain animals like the lobsters where they want to burn them alive because it makes them kind of better yeah or whatever so they're saying the kids like you can only get the juices if they're scared if they're like the most terrified they could possibly be so they they're like, they torture these kids to basically, it releases this adrenochrome. If you had that, you would have like if there was a certain secretion that worked better
Starting point is 00:34:51 if the person was disappointed. We need to kill the women. It's like, you kill women and then the secretions will help us live forever. But the girl needs to be mildly disappointed moments before. And she brings them to the place and goes, Bring them in! Then they have Danny on a leash
Starting point is 00:35:11 on your neck. She's like, oh, you're really going to kill me in this fucking shitty place? Perfect! Perfect! And you'll have sex with the beast first. Who's the beast?
Starting point is 00:35:26 Bring in the beast. I don't know. Hey. This is a beast. You call that a beast? Yeah, they call me the beast. I'm actually on Ozempic. You're the beast.
Starting point is 00:35:39 I only just started, so I'm still probably the beast anyways. Do you want to get into smash in or i guess just missionary yeah i don't know you pull down your pants you go i i don't know why they call me the beast oh i'm having some problems can you turn around i just probably get it up easier if you're just not looking at me do you want to fucking get my shirt on
Starting point is 00:36:10 oh shit I'm the beast I'm the beast ah bring in the beast beast approaching you, bring in the beast. Brr, brr, beast approaching. You rollerblade in, but you don't have the energy to rollerblade yourself, so you
Starting point is 00:36:31 stand there and someone pushes you. I just hit the wall. Take off your helmet. I'm the beast. Beast mode engaging. But anyways, yeah, so he's a q anon guy like he's legitimately like he's just like believes in q anon stuff so that they decided that they would smear the whole movie with uh basically like oh the star believes in this q anon stuff therefore everything in its lies
Starting point is 00:36:58 okay but he didn't write it he didn't write it no the weird thing is that um it was written like it was in the can which is like uh five years ago five years ago and then disney owned it i think disney owned it or fox owned it there was some deal that tried to make it disappear they did make it disappear they didn't it was like like paid for produced edited do you think that's why they bought it to you know make it disappear i don't know i think i think the no because what happens i think the original whoever originally made it and owned it just shelved it they're like we're not putting this out and then it was sitting and then someone bought i think it was fox or disney
Starting point is 00:37:34 some deal happened and then whoever the new company that bought it was like we have this movie and then they had it released okay so it's the new acquirer was like we have this movie let's release it you want to know the main conspiracy that was true? So one of the big ones that I heard was that they were turning the air condition off in every theater that this was played. No AC at the theater I saw it in. Really? And not kidding.
Starting point is 00:37:56 So I walked. What? Swear to God. This is in New York City. Hand to a light. Wow. In New York City. I asked you specifically if it was because there's another one where people would be like there's nobody in the theater but all the tickets were sold or whatever and they're
Starting point is 00:38:08 like it's empty people which that i was like because they are giving away tickets so maybe they bought them up they give away a lot of tickets or whatever people didn't show but no so i go in as soon as i arrive they go hey just so you know if you're seeing sound of freedom uh the ac is off in that theater if you want you can switch the movie to a different movie yeah and then i just said no we have a double screening of cuties going on in theater nine it was pretty pretty uncomfortable by the way that's crazy it stunk it's like the middle of summer and you know it's like it was crappy that sucks yeah so that was that conspiracy was i would just say as a review it's just like a movie what but here okay i'll tell you this i
Starting point is 00:38:45 definitely the type of person who works at a movie theater is like a non-binary like purple haired college student so you think there's some of that they're probably like yeah this is like a q anon thing like right wing q anon thing they're like we don't want people to see it so you think it's you think it's like a minor i don't think it's uh like they're on the movie theater message boards yeah popcorn junkie.com and popcorn junkies are all like we're standing in solidarity to shut this puppy down and i think they make it slightly less comfortable like they're probably like people are showing up in new york city with like usa like t-shirts and stuff and like usa hats and it's very triggering for the employees this this is what i concluded yeah is that if there is a conspiracy
Starting point is 00:39:26 they're putting it in the crappy theater yeah and then the crappy theater the ac doesn't work okay were you which were you in a crappy theater no i don't know i'm just saying that maybe they were like you're right i don't know if that's how i don't know if that's how i you know i'm sure someone's listening to this who's less of a bug man than myself i don't know if ac works that way where you're like okay like it's just out in the i mean maybe where it's out in the one theater but i imagine there's like a whole system that air like air conditions the entire theater okay so it's falling apart the whole building i don't know well the movie it's just a normal movie but like i wouldn't if there wasn't all this talk about it which is like guess what they wanted
Starting point is 00:40:01 i wouldn't have watched it because like for me it's like it's not really fun to just watch kids get like molested for two hours yeah you know what i mean no you're just like it's almost i don't really like to watch torture movies i don't think to watch i don't like horror i don't even watch no no because horror movies you go it's not really that fun for me to go sit girls love watching a family just get like tortured by ghosts for two hours dude i've sick fuck i've been like with some people where like you know i had friends or like and they want to watch them like a horror movie and you watch it i'm like what's wrong with you you like this this is like something weird about like why do they like it so much i know like and i i hate all the tricks in horror movies like all the jump cuts and scares and it's all the same movie a family moves to a house and then the they get they get terrorized by ghosts and then they die
Starting point is 00:40:46 yeah i like the saw movies and stuff but yeah yeah well whatever obviously there's some that are better than others but my thing is i don't really enjoy the like guy getting tortured for no fucking two hours right so now it's this with kids the pedophiles in the movie the main pedophiles they're pretty funny that they actually went with the classic pedophile look i saw that you know what like you want to know something funny about that actually so i saw they went vintage on it i saw that and then i saw the still when it first came out and i actually went on comedy sketch i went on imdb to find where that person was credited because i wanted to know what they called him in pedophile number three like i wanted to be like because then you like the idea like you're going for an audition and you're like you're auditioning for pedophile that must have been
Starting point is 00:41:31 a creepy ass do you think that yeah do you think that there's anyone in that audition room just being like are you a real one like you know what i mean i wanted to know but i couldn't find it in the credits like well the fun so this is the funniest part about the whole deal right so and this is probably where all the controversy came from so at the end of this movie it ends and then it goes special special message coming in 16 uh 60 seconds or whatever right yeah and you think it's going to be you know i don't know what it what it's going to be right okay maybe uh the a little little sampler of what happens in the second episode okay what what happens in the universe you know but then it ends and the guy the actor comes on screen he's like what we just watched is something that happens every day you know we all want to stop
Starting point is 00:42:15 this child trafficking is one of the most terrible things in the world which is why you should buy more tickets for other people and if you want to buy tickets obviously some of you you know maybe more indifferent don't really care about child want to buy tickets, obviously some of you, you know, maybe more indifferent, don't really care about child sex traffic and getting stopped. But for those of you who do actually want to make a difference that are sitting here,
Starting point is 00:42:31 we're going to put this QR code on the screen. So let's get this QR code up, pop that on your phone, and then we want you to donate. Maybe, you know, you buy tickets for two people. You buy tickets for your friends. Maybe your whole family comes.
Starting point is 00:42:41 Maybe you come again. And this guy's going on and on, right? They got the QR code. Basically, if you hate, if you don't like kids, be a molester. He turns into a pitch man, like real quick, right? He goes from, this is the worst thing that's probably happening in our world, to buy two, buy four, buy six, buy eight. Get them on the screen.
Starting point is 00:42:59 Get that QR code up there. Get your phones out, ladies and gentlemen. You want to get those tickets. Tickets, tickets. So how many did you buy? eyes were closed man my phone wasn't working my phone my phone wasn't working that qr codes are tricky sometimes you'd see some people that were like you know on new dates and the girl's just like oh i get me another guy's like oh yeah you're not a fucking pedophile are you then he switches from that being like he talks about that for a couple minutes being like you need to about that for a couple minutes,
Starting point is 00:43:26 being like, you need to buy those tickets unless you like kids getting hurt. This is after the credits? Well, the credits kind of happen half, and then they're sort of the other half. I think half. They go, unless you hate, unless you like watching this, you hope this happens more in real life,
Starting point is 00:43:37 you're going to want to buy tickets. Also, he's like, again, this is one of the most terrible things that can happen in the world, and we need to raise awareness. So when you're watching a movie like that, there's no better place to watch it than the movie theater. You got your popcorn. You got the big screen.
Starting point is 00:43:51 You got the surround sound. And you start going on about how the theater experience is so great. You know what I mean? He's talking about it. He's like, and the theater. He goes, nothing beats the cinema. I know we got some cinephiles in here. Pardon my French.
Starting point is 00:44:01 Nothing beats the cinema. I know we got some cinephiles in here. Pardon my French. That's the only files that are in here, hopefully. It's going on and on about how the movie theater experience, nothing beats it. You got the comfy chair. And you're still just watching it? What are you waiting for?
Starting point is 00:44:18 I'm watching it because it's funny at this point. At this point, I'm just like, this is crazy. Is everybody just looking around? Well, if you don't want to leave you go some of you may be leaving right now probably to have sex with kids it's like the whole implication is that if you like if you do not like pay attention right now yeah it's a very it's very uh accusatory almost so then yeah people have kind of reluctantly so a part of the reason it's probably so sold so many tickets is everyone sits there it's like a it's like a chain
Starting point is 00:44:46 letter that if you don't forward on they're gonna kill your grandma you're gonna get seven years of bad luck so that they're basically give you a chain letter at the end and if you don't buy tickets for two other people you basically sentence four kids to their grave and just killed them you should go hang out inside of them and interview people as they
Starting point is 00:45:02 stream out of there be like so how many tickets did you buy how many tickets you you buy? How many tickets did you buy? Like, four, pedo. You're no better than them. Just four, huh? You're no better than them, pal. Oof. And then probably the other thing that struck me was that how many people, like, it can't
Starting point is 00:45:20 possibly be that this many people are pedophiles. Yeah. Like, they legitimately, theyiles yeah like they legitimately they go at one point they go we have a hotel and then they're just like 300 kids in the hotel and then all these like famous people come through and have sex with kids and and then the all the gang members are having sex with kids you go can't be that like is everyone like yeah i i don't know i was also of that and then i've like just the epstein stuff and i had this guy on last night the about the nick bryan about the franklin scandal there's so many pedophiles it's crazy
Starting point is 00:45:50 yeah how is it unbelievable what is it like but like even if you were i feel like you how many are they catching if there's millions why aren't they catching more i don't know apparently the guy who was based off of two they have a hotel they have a pedophile hotel well because it's in like it's a what columbia or something yeah yeah they don't i don't know if they offer i mean what policemen it's okay here's the thing even like gang members and mafia and all that sort of stuff right yeah you feel like they'd be like listen i will be involved in your corrupt crime but then they're like hey do you want to guard the hotel while people come in to have sex with children you probably be like what i didn't get into being a a criminal for this no do you know what i mean like why i i agree i agree but there's uh the guy tim ballard who
Starting point is 00:46:30 it's like based off of or whatever he was in the organization that like it's it's whatever based off of him apparently there was something that were not true like they were embellished hot so some people were saying for movie purposes there's some stuff that was embellished as they do in the fact that they call this a true story some of the stuff had to be super untrue. Yeah, I think so. But there is a scene where he has to watch all the child porn, and he's just like, single tears are dripping down his face while he's just looking at hours and hours. That was Jim Caviezel did an interview, and he was talking about preparing for the movie, and he basically was like yeah i had to watch a ton of child porn what how is that not illegal it was like well that would be a life hack for these like pedophiles being like oh no i'm not gonna join
Starting point is 00:47:12 the fbi no no i'm making a student film like you know what i mean well it was no it was like with the guy who like at the fbi like there's i always i what the hell some guys in the movie and they let him watch it some people's jobs at the FBI are to watch people all day. Yeah, well, his job isn't that. His job is an actor. Yeah, but I guess they brought him into the whole world. Stop it. There's an interview where he essentially insinuates
Starting point is 00:47:37 where they're like, are you ready to watch? And he's like, yeah, because this is so important. And he's like, it's the most horrific stuff. But yeah, he just has to like... Well, I don't get... Do you have to get a secret pass from the government? Because wouldn't that be illegal? Like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:51 Look, I'm sure there's court proceedings where if you're some pedophiles on trial where they show the jury all this stuff. This guy's doing a ride-along with the freaking... What? I understand you're going to be a cop. You get to do a ride-along for a day. This guy gets to do a ride-along with the guy who watches the CP?
Starting point is 00:48:07 I guess. Stop it. There's an interview. I saw it on Twitter. Someone posted an interview where he's talking about it. And he goes, yeah, it was so important that I did this. He's like, it was horrifying and I didn't want to do it. They only wanted me to do it for five minutes because I care about acting so much.
Starting point is 00:48:21 I've actually even kept doing it after the movie because i'm i'm meth i'm like doing a uh after the fact method super method speaking of super just in case there's a sequel you never know about the method actors i saw you know michael shannon from boardwalk empire no and he was probably by superman you know him for sure he's super famous actor michael shannon i saw him in the west fourth street i. He's a super famous actor. Michael Shannon. I saw him in the West 4th Street. I wonder about this a lot. The West 4th Street subway station. You know who I know?
Starting point is 00:48:49 So he walked right by me and he was dressed like a total schlub and he was literally just talking to himself in West 4th Street station. Oh, God. Unbearable. Literally, he's like... And I walk by him and I go,
Starting point is 00:49:00 this is just like some psycho. He played small roles too. He was doing all that. He was nominated for Best Actor, I believe, for for uh academy award that's true but he plays guy number four in a lot of movies yeah but he's like a you know a great character actor and he's literally just walking around muttering to himself like dressed like a like it was so weird and i was like that can't be him because he had blonde hair and then i went and googled it and he like he has blonde hair he's doing a method thing i guess or he's just lost it i don't know or both these guys they're nuts to begin with yeah i guess some actors are like nuts
Starting point is 00:49:30 but i was like you're like pretty famous to just be walking around she'd be like like muttering that is the like hack if you're a big famous actor being like i'm playing an asshole for someone to be a lot for the next eight months. Coming home, you stupid bitch. Don't have dinner on the table. You didn't see that I'm in Bad Husbands in 2085? You want me to get an Oscar like Daniel Day-Lewis or no? You call that a fucking dinner? Nothing.
Starting point is 00:49:57 You're a nothing. No man, whatever. Slappin' her. I'm a method actor. What isn't on the table if you're freaking doing a ride along watching cp i guess yeah that's freaking nuts dude yeah it's uh also just a quick thing on the movies and we'll move on but nefarious uh it's another one where there's like a thing uh nefarious is labeled controversial for calling out woke culture um 35 on rotten tomatoes 96 on audience score and i just want to give a quick opposite of a referral this is the worst piece
Starting point is 00:50:31 of junk i've ever seen in my life buddy this watch this too so apparently the guy who made it's christian right and he did an okay job of disguising it because he did both points this movie is about a guy who is a serial killer right yeah and then this this is such a piece of crap i don't even know where to start dude first of all the first beck is is the third cast member well glenn beck get what glenn beck plays glenn beck oh okay so he's there's a scene at the end of the movie where he goes on the glenn beck show to talk about how jesus so i'll just give a quick synopsis for people i'm not trying to be the you know the cinema cast here yeah but i can't not tell you how bad this is so the first 45 minutes take place in the cell and basically there's a guy going to death row and he says he's
Starting point is 00:51:21 a demon that's someone the hot shot therapist just like knows he's not a demon he's just got split personalities and then the demon starts telling him stuff and he starts being like and then there's abortions he goes the devil had you figure out how to kill all the kids for him he doesn't even have to do the evil and then the guy goes the guy goes what do you mean the world's better than it ever been racism is an all-time low sexism's at an all-time low sexism's at an all-time low homophobia has been at all-time low he goes is it oh yeah or are you doing the devil's work so this goes on for 45 minutes right and then he starts predicting stuff about him and blah blah
Starting point is 00:51:55 and he's he's a devil and he goes i'm gonna get in your head and the guy you have to let me in and he's like a demon right yeah tells this whole story about the demon guy end up going to the electric chair before he gets electrocuted he transfers himself into the other guy's body nice so the other guy goes and the demon jumped from the guy he was gonna die into his body and then he picks up a gun starts trying to shoot everyone and then somehow he expels the demon and then he goes on the glenn beck podcast tour to tell everyone like i was wrong the demon is there and the demon and then he goes on the glenn beck podcast tour to tell everyone like i was wrong the demon is there and the demon wanted him to write a book because he thought it was going to be his bible and he goes and uh he goes i wrote a book telling you why you shouldn't be that
Starting point is 00:52:33 so he did the opposite and then well because the devil thought that if he got this psychiatrist to write his book this would be his bible like because he's jesus like if some psychiatrist wrote a book right now being like i talked to this demon and he told me that jesus is bad and the devil's actually good and this is why we should do that it's like they would it was going to change the world and be his bible this thing is maybe the worst movie i've ever seen where'd you watch it i don't know one of the services it's on theaters yeah it looked like a good movie you got a good he had a good title for him nefarious great name too it looked up my alley it was called nefarious it was like in a jail it was like a good poster yeah you're gonna it was a
Starting point is 00:53:10 real piece of work this thing all right well i'm not gonna see that now don't don't yeah it looks like a real piece of shit it really pisses me off the more of these crappy well i guess it's down to freedom's not that but it's just when crappy movies come out and you're like just let us make a movie let i'll tell you this is i don't know if you've seen the snow white and a lot of people we're going to talk about the disney thing for a second here yeah so the snow white thing obviously you know dinklage is out there being like get rid of the dwarves or whatever yeah they're getting rid of the dwarves she's not white she's latina but she's like honestly that she's not that dark it's like whatever right yes it's still whatever that the crazy part and i obviously everyone's having debates over all that sort of stuff right which is probably what they want you know what i mean
Starting point is 00:53:57 i'll tell you what is crazy let me just read you snow white's live action um live action of snow white instead of um so prince charming coming to save a long lost snow white but instead this movie is focusing more on the main character following her leadership dreams so this is what she's like breaking the glass ceiling something is this what this is my friend people are i will say this isn't for what this is? My friend, people are arguing. I will say, this isn't for us. This is still a kid's movie, right, at the end of the day? No, but I don't care. Get rid of the dwarves and replace them with weirdos. You want to make her not another color. This has to stop where they go,
Starting point is 00:54:36 Little Red Riding Hood is now Little Red Riding CEO. I'm telling you, Hollywood, you're this close to just every kid's thing being from the Daily Wire. You are not favorable right now. No. Not with this shit. Do you see the new UFC girl? She comes out and she's like, I just want to tell everyone we got to save those kids.
Starting point is 00:54:52 The message is getting popular. Yeah, yeah. People have had enough. Yeah. This isn't really completely that. Yeah, this isn't that, but this is more. But you're like, look, you've agreed that dwarves is problematic. Don't make it.
Starting point is 00:55:04 Just don't make it. Don't make it. Surely you must have agreed that dwarves is problematic don't make it surely just don't make it don't make it you must have some other intellectual property they don't or their brains are broken like i get it that like you know old ip is is a safer bet like ip you own that's because they already own it it's free everybody knows what snow white is like everybody knows that's the big thing you're forgetting it's all free because they own it yeah and everybody knows snow white versus coming up with a new thing but you're just like look you're not gonna fit like one of the guys is six feet tall i don't have a six foot tall dwarf like what what are you i'm telling you that part that seemed par for the course for me obviously i mean even what i'm
Starting point is 00:55:40 saying is par for the course but the idea that Snow White's a new tale about, basically they're making Snow White Elizabeth Holmes. Yeah. The empowering, I can't remember who ever said this, but the women's hero's journey is just a girl that was always great, but she just didn't know how great she was. Totally, and beautiful. That's the part where it's like,
Starting point is 00:56:00 a girl that was always beautiful, great, and talented, the guys made her think that she wasn't as great as she already knew she was and for a second she doubted herself and then she was able to release that doubt and realize that she was always great all along it's like it's the crazy he's like there's no do we have any actual uh examples of any of this stuff actually being successful by the way like snow white is a tale of a latino boss bitch yeah you know what the problem is because everything's streaming now there's no metrics for anything being a success or a failure like you know indiana jones is in
Starting point is 00:56:34 theaters what was the other big there's a huge other big blockbuster and they're they're both bombs um but like at least you know like they go this is a bomb this is a success and but streaming there's no metrics they just well they have the metrics well they have the metrics but but they can't publicly being like hey your little mermaid was like it was a piece of shit and like it lost money or whatever because they don't know it's like it's mostly streaming it's hard to find out yeah and they won't release it and they won't release how much it's worth to them i wonder why that is i mean why they won't release it yeah because they just that information is valuable and i don't don't think they want their competitors to know i i mean the whole actors right that's
Starting point is 00:57:10 right part of it now is the strike is because they're like we don't they won't even tell us like we don't really know like what's successful what's not they keep that information to themselves they just give us you know offers for money and you know this is what you get but that's the whole uh residual thing right is they go like pay us for streams like we want to actually get paid like something for every stream you get or whatever i don't know so but i mean again i don't i don't know if these are successful or not but i assume not no idea i mean maybe they make their money back but there's nothing funny i mean i think
Starting point is 00:57:46 plus is their star wars shit makes all their money and then everything else just gets paid for at the star wars fund what is some uh fairy tales uh a little bit riding hood yeah what's another one cinderella well cinderella how about cinderella is a tale about this woman named cinderella yeah she's trans well she's like she's having trouble with her stepsisters yeah they're giving her yeah she's obviously trans they're giving her some you know giving her some shit and then she finds out that she knows how to run facebook better than mark she's toiling around she finds a laptop and she starts she becomes this she just realized she can code better than anyone in the world right and she finds out a hack that she could uh run facebook twitter snapchat and youtube better than
Starting point is 00:58:38 all of the people working there combined and she tells her stepsisters she goes hey guys i figured out how i could run you know the world better than all these men are running and everyone goes you're but you're a woman you know but she's and then she goes back to her room she codes she makes a new facebook in 15 seconds you know just for fun i love it not thinking about anything right so she essentially does that and then she takes you know she takes her new idea to the market and she gets laughed out of the offices of all these investors and hedge funds they go ha go, Ha! A woman who can code! And they go,
Starting point is 00:59:07 We already have a Zuckerberg. And she goes, But you're a Zuckerberg, but you never met Cinderella Steinberg. Yeah. And then eventually, she just has to break into the Facebook office where she sort of just takes Mark Zuckerberg down herself.
Starting point is 00:59:20 She breaks in, then she takes Elon Musk down, and she essentially... Snaps their necks. Yeah, and during this time, she's sort of gaining support online going viral because she's also a big influencer yeah so she sort of has makeup tutorials and stuff like that and she also has like a fitness blog and she also has a she has a science a stem blog she has a she's also big in stem so she's sort of like fighting down all of the patriarchal men that are trying to stop her from
Starting point is 00:59:44 doing her coding yeah and at the same time she's uh writing articles fighting down all of the patriarchal men that are trying to stop her from doing her coding. Yeah. And at the same time, she's writing articles about STEM with her right hand. Yeah, yeah. And then when she finally gets to the top, she just, obviously there's these like white men, they have these like bags of money and they're just sort of holding the bags of money. And then they're just, you know, kind of petting them. Yeah, of course, of course. But because they want to have all their money, they have like sort of like billion dollar
Starting point is 01:00:06 like cash notes. Yeah, special. They keep all their money in like billion dollar cash notes. And then they're just like high fiving and give each other props. And the one guy's like, I fucking love being a man. And the other guy goes, I love being a man. No women will ever. A straight man.
Starting point is 01:00:20 Yeah, I love being a straight man. No women. And white. No women will ever take down our company and then as they're like doing a big laugh sort of thing she jumps down from the rafters still she only has her hand she only has her feet because her hands are still she's coding with her left hand and then writing the stem blog with her leg she kicks them both out the banknotes go into the air and then she ends up jumping on a trampoline grabs the notes
Starting point is 01:00:46 and then she invests in herself ah yeah and she just realized the problem while she had to invest in herself the whole time so she invests in herself and then the new cinderella book essentially becomes the new social media platform that we're all on and she sort of partners with the government to censor any bad information about women and then finally we get to live in the utopia that we deserve to live in the president well she's all of course there is no president anymore it's like there only is just one sink there's a one singular part of the universe that operates within cinderella book yeah and she controls that and it essentially controls all thought it controls all thing and there's a 90 tax rate on anyone who is a man so i love this idea the
Starting point is 01:01:26 only maybe criticism i have is it's just optics wise it's bad that like a white guy is coming up with this so could we maybe swap you with shonda rhimes yes because if we if shonda rhimes pitch this this would be a green light instantly this would be on this would be done this is a done deal also you could just kill yourself and then we'll replace you with shonda rhimes shonda rhimes comes up with it and shonda and then the cinderella is also latina in this yeah of course she goes no man and some native they do a 23 and me and she just has like she has all the things oh and she's all the things but there's no stereotypes involved it's not like you know the prince charming or whatever it is
Starting point is 01:02:04 comes in and she's checking his phone. I don't give a shit about no Prince Charming. Let me see that phone. Who are you texting with? Who the motherfucker you be... Who the motherfucker... Who the fuck is Pizza Hut? Why is Pizza Hut texting you at 2.30 in the morning?
Starting point is 01:02:21 Cinderella's poking holes in condoms. Trying to rock up the kids. my god cinderella's 19 kids this motherfucking deadbeat won't pay child support so i can invest in my cinderella book we both love it i love it yeah punches him in the throat for looking at another woman sort of thing yeah there was a good meme that came out it was uh white women versus latinas and it was uh like i told my ex was latina so i feel like most people that have dated a latino reference well people always say it's true and it like is it's just like fiery it's on no other way to describe it you know abusive uh yeah i guess i know obviously i wasn't being abused i mean nobody's calling a latino man
Starting point is 01:03:09 fiery are they are they calling latino men fiery i don't know that's a good question it's more than the women it's more the women are fiery they are fiery though but i don't mind fire yeah it's fine but the one goes it can get old it says white versus Latinas. And it's the white woman, Hugh Hefner's ex-wife writes a tell-all book. Tell-all book about how bad he is. And then it says Latinas. It's El Chapo's wife saying she had no idea he was involved in crime.
Starting point is 01:03:36 She goes, really? Are we talking about the same Hefner? Or the same El Chapo? Not my El Chapo. Yeah, that's classic. I gotta tell you that. Always love it there's nothing that i like more than one of the sketches or videos becomes uh real yeah i posted this on the internet but nyu hosts an anti-racism workshop available only to white people that's not even the one i thought you were gonna say by the way which one did you think i thought
Starting point is 01:04:04 you were gonna say the Trudeau with the Muslims Trudeau with the Muslims. Okay. That one too. We'll do both of them. But the NYU host anti-racism workshop, it's like, this is a sketch that I've,
Starting point is 01:04:14 I've wanted to make forever. I tried to make it like a few different times and it was just like, I never had the right thing. I want to do it with Che. I almost did it with Che. The last time we filmed her, it was going to be me, you someone else.
Starting point is 01:04:22 Oh yeah. Me, you and Aiden. And then Che walks in being like, what are you guys doing we're like this is sort of a whites whites whites are bad conference and there's like what do you mind if I change like I mean it's kind of a whites against whites yeah you know that was really self-flagellating here I've had that idea forever and I had it in my last special as a joke and it just like always makes me laugh every now and then
Starting point is 01:04:46 I think I should make it as a sketch And then so they basically did that in New York And they have like a flagellation session Where all these white women get together in the basement of NYU And just talk about how bad they are And pay for it It's like you gotta pay a bunch of money to go And they're like they're trying to like
Starting point is 01:05:00 They're essentially being like we want whites to figure out the problem on their own It shouldn't be their issue They're like this isn't our problem that you're all racist. So I don't know why we should have to come fix you and your racism. So it's literally just like we put a bunch of racist white people in a room alone and had them solve their racism. Exactly. That's the goal. 100%.
Starting point is 01:05:21 Yeah. I mean, I guess Robin DiAngelo could get in the mix there because she's white right okay so tell me about this uh trudeau thing basically you know muslims who are you know like a religious muslims in canada who are fairly conservative generally just in their beliefs are not into all this this is one of those our sketch from the podcast yeah for the podcast like two weeks ago or whatever we're like you know they're just like yeah we're not all into all this like they're basically like there's a whole scandal in canada because all these politicians keep getting not loving you teaching the kids butt sex before ramadan and like all the stuff with like the trans and you know million
Starting point is 01:05:56 genders and stuff and so they're praying so the kids are praying and then they so they go but they're like you know they go up and down yeah and when they go up they're trying to slip like slip genderqueer inside of the quran like this looks different but there's all these scandals in canada where like politicians like uh are taking photos they called that uh pulling a fasting one politicians are taking photos with people who are like have shirts that just say leave our kids alone yeah which has become like a very problematic like controversial like everybody's like like pierre or whatever his name is like takes a photo with someone wearing a controversial
Starting point is 01:06:40 shirt and it says leave our kids alone okay i guess that's controversy is different everywhere i suppose but anyways it's just like all these like uh so all these muslims who are opposing all this lgbt stuff which is like pretty on brand for the muslim people always like like they're not like they were different and now they're like you like this have been consistent on this stuff they're like you know ah yeah right and so now uh trudeau's essentially saying hey like you're only thinking these things because you've been tricked by the alt right well the all like the right wing uh you know people have tricked you into thinking this is what we're doing at the calgary mosque where by the way everyone thinks like this it ain't just everyone in Calgary for the most part or in Alberta.
Starting point is 01:07:27 And they're like, yeah, but so, so the protest, so American right wing specifically, they're like the American trick you in Canada, you Muslim Canadians into, and it's very condescending,
Starting point is 01:07:38 right? For sure. Cause it was just like, listen, I know that you've all, I know that all of you have been tricked you know you're obviously you guys loved you you wouldn't love gay stuff if it wasn't for ben shapiro my arch nemesis ben shapiro and then yeah he keeps kind of saying to them like listen i know
Starting point is 01:08:00 you're not like this yeah yeah essentially he's like you've just been tricked like obviously muslims love homosexuals and all this like LGBT stuff. He thinks he's the. That's why there's a Muslim float every year at the pride parade and, you know, all that stuff because you guys just love it so much. And he's like, no, I mean, I'll stand up for LGBT. Then the gay Muslims. And they're like, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 01:08:19 We really don't like this stuff. No, not a fan. We were like, we were kind of somewhat tolerant for us just because everybody became very tolerant of yeah i want to give an arranged marriage to a member of the opposite sex yes not you arranging putting that is literally going to be a show on cbc like next year gay muslim gay muslim arranged marriage though where they're like but they don't tell the parents they like it's like it's two fathers like with the guys and then they're like they think it's gonna be like a chick but it's like just two guys you're gay now yeah you're gay now can that work for can you be
Starting point is 01:08:55 like because it's like it's that arranged we've arranged your marriage and your sexuality we've arranged your sexuality you're gay yeah. They just show up like, what's up, Mo? What's up, Mo? One of us is going chick. I don't know. It ain't going to be me. Ain't going to be me.
Starting point is 01:09:11 I don't know. You better get used to fucking wearing a dress, pal. You better. It's just Haram, dog. I'll tell you what. You're going to put a, by the time I'm done with you, we'd have a fucking bonnet on your head
Starting point is 01:09:21 because I ain't no gay. Yeah. And I think he got booed. I think he got, I don't know if this don't know if this is the event but the guy's out of his friggin he did some muslim thing though where like because he in his mind he's like you know everybody loves him at least the people on his side but now he's like did some thing some event for all these like either muslim or native things and he got booed he's starting to get booed i have feelings time's up i mean he's been for eight years already. Has it? I thought it had been longer.
Starting point is 01:09:46 I think 2015 he got elected. Cannonball. That is what you're going to be doing when you're at the beach. You're jumping into the pool. In Danny's case, there might be a kid that ends up on the tree. And in your case, there's a pool at the beach. In that case, there's a pool at the beach. But there is sometimes pools at the beach.
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Starting point is 01:13:53 question so i'm applying to go somewhere and i just wanted to know are there accommodations for people who struggle with time blindness and being on time you know and then the person i was with interrupted and acted like i was asking something else. And then when we were done, they actually started yelling at me and saying that accommodations for time blindness doesn't exist. And if you struggle with being on time, you'll never be able to get a job. This person is dead serious right now. Yeah, for sure. I mean, they look exactly what you think they look like.
Starting point is 01:14:19 Time blindness is nice, though, if you can convince a fucking chick. Being late is a disability? I am an asshole-aholic. I cannot. This is a medical disability that I can't call you afterwards. I'm just hoping my girl's not listening right now, because that's what she's going to be like. I'm time blind.
Starting point is 01:14:37 For sure. Well, how about this? Telling the girl that I have just this specific disability where I can't check my phone for days on end when I'm on a trip with the boys text blindness i have text blindness blindness i just for whatever reason certain texts just don't come up it's like uh i don't know exactly what it is but i just can't see them i think this one was a bit of a peak for the whole thing because a lot of people were just like nope yeah and how about new how about new scott that's crazy time blindness time blindness you just want to go on disability is that the goal here you go i'll tell you what kind of
Starting point is 01:15:12 blindness i have when we're out at the bar and um one of my boys is doing something bad that's where you in the walking stick when your boy is up to no good you go what the fuck where is I have I have I have Mike
Starting point is 01:15:30 blindness Mike's doing something maybe he shouldn't be doing I mean I will say that there's nothing that makes me happier with them
Starting point is 01:15:37 when someone like says that because they think that this is about to go viral positively they think they think that someone's gonna be like
Starting point is 01:15:44 your fucking boss needs to be fired from his own own company exactly like all that stuff and everybody's like you're fucking idiot well all this i listen i've been saying that most of this stuff's from a and this i'm actually a person that has been through when i was young the doctors and the teacher is trying to get me on medication saying i have adhd right and this whole you know this was like a whole debacle right i imagine teachers pushing a doctor's trying to put trying to pill me up yeah try to say there's something wrong with me yeah i just figured you were they they just had to rein you in some way no one reigned in shit but that's what they were going for they were just like they had to medicate you because you're probably like starting fires in
Starting point is 01:16:23 class that's a bit of a troublemaker i'm not gonna lie a bit of a handful you might say and sure maybe the teachers did want to fucking dim me yeah but that's not the way to do it well dim what i've gone on to be bart simpson over here i did good in school yeah i know went on to do good after school and then went on to be successful in life these teachers if they had their way i'd be sitting in a corner freaking pilled up just drooling drooling drooling i need more adhd medication i'll be telling people i can't do stuff oh sorry i have my adhd i can't potentially start a podcast maybe i'm thinking about starting a podcast next year like yeah maybe next year i have too much adhd i can't concentrate on anything. It's like, yes, every, this is the thing, every quality that a person has
Starting point is 01:17:09 comes at some expense of something else. Of course. So it's like, you don't always want to get rid of it. It's like, yes, a person, yes, obviously. Well, they were trying, like the people who were trying to do this
Starting point is 01:17:17 were, it was purely motivated by their like, we just need to turn this down a little and they go, let's just throw some drugs at them. Do you know what they're trying to turn down yeah my free thinking sure literally yeah do you know what they're trying to turn down the fact that i wasn't really going with the program exactly yeah you were a bit of a wasn't going with the program of not talking to a class i'm sorry but like really if you boil it all down you're not going with the program yeah I agree
Starting point is 01:17:48 yeah so listen I'm sure there are people well this is the thing though and they want to give you Adderall they want to give you this they want to give you that make everyone dependent on drugs I mean obviously I don't even think it's like a hard stance to be like over prescribing all this shit but it's like
Starting point is 01:18:04 I'm a personal like you know if right now i had gone through my like you know school years used medicating freaking you know with all these drugs i would now currently be like dependent on a drug for sure as opposed to anything it's like i've always said even if i'm like if i do things better drunk or whatever like stand up it's like i always don't know because i don't want that to be worked into my system for sure for sure i mean that's just path of least resistance they just don't want to actually have to like do the effort required to maybe change those behaviors and they're like well just i mean i'm lucky i live in a house where my parents aren't freaking nutcases for sure because i was just like i'm not doing that shit right and they're like okay yeah whatever yeah tell your teacher to fucking suck it the teachers probably weren't pumped
Starting point is 01:18:48 about that the same thing they tried to send me the gifted class i said to suck it too i said to suck it all the things yeah they're always they're up to something man they're trying to get me to go to some other class for that and then they're also trying to pill you up and it's like you get one i'm not moving i did the le the Leonardo DiCaprio speech in, what's the movie? Wall Street? Yeah, Wall Street. I go, thought about it. I'm not going.
Starting point is 01:19:13 I'm not taking the pills. I'm not eating the bugs. Not eating the bugs. In fact, I can tell this when I came back to the boys. I go, I'm not going. I'm not taking the pills. I'm not eating the bugs. And this guy, Jeff, is going to be eating some bugs.
Starting point is 01:19:29 And we fed Jeff bugs. The teacher's like trying to teach math. They go, Ryan. Stop eating Jeff bugs. Go to the office. You're disturbing us. I'm not going. You will not dim my lights.
Starting point is 01:19:42 So this is the thing. They need to keep making up illnesses if they're gonna keep fucking feeding people pills i'm blindness jesus these doctors man dr pillman's yeah they're just i it's almost like there's nothing you can do about it because it's just gonna keep getting worse yeah they won't rest until every kid's on a friggin you know a cocktail of medication for sure i mean it's just big money in that stuff and it's easier than real parenting i would imagine they want your brain foggy yeah they want you they want that third eye all fogged up they want those chakras just all cloudy so you can't see
Starting point is 01:20:18 what they're up to that is actually what they're trying to do cloud up your third eye they are trying to cloud up the third eye. That is probably the 90% of them giving you medications is your third eye's a little cloudy. Probably. Probably. All the antidepressants and stuff. Yeah, so I've had enough of that shit, man. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:36 Time blindness. Okay, this is the boob segment. No. Let's cut the shit here And talk about the real Fucking scoop You know what I'm saying And talk about the real
Starting point is 01:20:48 Two scoops Yeah Danny's a titty man So I know that he likes These articles Yeah He's a big He's a whole pack
Starting point is 01:20:53 You're the biggest Titty man I know probably I'm not a crazy tit guy What I mean I like him I'm not like a I feel like you are I feel like you sort of are though
Starting point is 01:21:05 I like some nice jugs Like the rest of the guys I like a jug The next man Like the other red blooded males I feel like you are I like a jug Or two
Starting point is 01:21:23 Well then you might see Now he's admitted it it finally took him a little while he doesn't like to be pegged down no peg so basically they're saying that bee pollen helps boobs grow yeah this was i had a friend of mine actually who was um like a real health nut guy and he would always put bee pollen in his smoothies really he was a big bee well your fucking friend's gonna be growing some titties that's probably why i hung out with him he had a nice set of double d's on him biggest set of titties on a dude that i've ever seen so yeah your boys gonna be growing boobs but yeah we were me and tony were laughing at the idea of the commercial just for b-polling
Starting point is 01:21:59 and we're all the guys just trying to force b-polling on chicks and just being like you know there's lots but, but just like, like sliding the one in. Like, there's a lot of health benefits, you know, it's good for your skin. You know,
Starting point is 01:22:12 it helps your blood flow better, make your tits grow bigger and it also, makes your tits grow nonstop. So, well, improves your hair, obviously makes your boobs grow bigger,
Starting point is 01:22:23 anxiety. Anxiety. You all have that, don't you, ladies? Well, yeah, you're more of a tick guy than I am. Well, improves your hair, obviously makes your boobs grow bigger. Anxiety. Anxiety. You all have that, don't you, ladies? Well, yeah, you're more of a tit guy than I am. Well, this is the thing. I'm probably more of an ass guy, but I'm just as much of a tit guy. I just don't really discriminate big or not big. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:22:36 Like, I think probably some of the nicest tits are, like, pretty moderately sized. I agree. I agree. I'm not a bigger is better guy. No, I'm not. Bigger is not necessarily better no no hell no some people i think just like yeah some people like jj is so you're just saying you're not that you're not yeah no like jj's literally like give me a 450
Starting point is 01:22:55 pound woman with just like size like k like giant hands that are just like touching the touching the floor and jj's, those are the best. I'm not that dude. That ain't me, pal. No, I'm not like... You ever see a dog that's recently been pregnant? I don't want a chick that looks like that. You know, like that thing?
Starting point is 01:23:14 Some people do. He likes floppy and empty. Yeah, I don't like... Not a lot of meat in there. A lot of skin. A lot of hang. Yeah, I don't like the deflated. Well, no one likes the deflated.
Starting point is 01:23:26 But I just... Yeah, okay. No, JJ does. Well, I don't like the deflated. Well, no one likes the deflated. But I just Yeah, okay. No, JJ does. Well, the reason I bring it up is because there's a couple of titty articles. Yeah. So the Italians This is insane. I posted this on Twitter last night because I was reading it. Tell the story. So basically
Starting point is 01:23:39 there was a court case in Italy where something to do with someone groped someone and said it wasn't a full sexual assault. A 65-year-old janitor at a high school went up to a 17-year-old girl, pulled down her pants, and grabbed her ass during school. And then they put him on trial. And then his whole defense was that it was a joke. He just goes, it's a joke he just goes it's a joke it's a funny joke what is the matter it's a funny joke i grab it on the little kiss
Starting point is 01:24:13 i watch you look at me you take the pants down oh he laughed he laughed everybody laughed it's a joke and then they found the old cuomo defense yeah well that's the way and then they found the old Cuomo defense yeah well that's why and then I found the screenshot of Cuomo where he goes I'm not perverted I'm just Italian which is like the greatest the greatest
Starting point is 01:24:31 I'm grabbing a meat a ball it's a joke I'm laughing pretty much and then they found him not guilty because they go
Starting point is 01:24:38 it's not an assault until it's a 10 second grope right they go there's a 10 second rule and that's all weird you know i mean insane yeah so that stuff's bizarre yeah but what happens next is even weirder yeah so there's
Starting point is 01:24:53 girls i've said this in my stand-up act i've said it here but it's like whenever you leave girls with their own devices eventually they take their top off for whatever they need sure you know whether that be money but it's like so all the activist causes you've seen the climate people out there it's like every 15 days they run a nudist colony and they're like well yeah against fracking right that's the best well these these girls have been doing a tiktok trend where to like protest italian government they grab their boobs on camera for eight seconds to be like wasn't that that's not a problem yeah but sure but what you have is girls grabbing their titties for fucking yeah they're just like yeah you like that for eight seconds yeah like wait can you imagine if they were you
Starting point is 01:25:38 know obviously like a dick grabbing thing and then the guys were like every man is jerking off on camera to show that if it wasn't jerking off for 10 seconds and like every man is jerking off on camera to show that if it wasn't jerking off for 10 seconds and it's not actually jerking off well then tell me what this is yeah so you got all these girls being like you you know yeah oh they need more aggressive harassment laws well yeah how would you like to see me grab my titties for eight seconds the guy the italian guy's like i'm much alike i actually i would i mean italy's sick if you could just literally do that for eight seconds literally just i i can't believe that that that stood up yeah me neither there must have been something more kind of going on you
Starting point is 01:26:17 know i think he's just like a sweet oh i think the guy's like a he like he's like i actually was joking but pulling the pants down's a bit much that's insane for us no it's like the guy's like a he's like he's like i actually was joking but pulling the pants down's a bit much that's insane for us no it's like the guy's an old school creep like when the me too stuff happened and then you go like remember everybody used to just dismiss people as like oh he's like a creepy old man but he's like harmless and then now after me too we're like no that guy's a criminal yeah i mean i don't think i was dismissing that before but people like no people forever would be like some you know oh he's just like a creepy old man but like you know he's he's harmless like he's not like you know like where he would touch like i think i know in small you know i'm talking about like some old guy be like oh he like always like touches the small of my back or something
Starting point is 01:26:56 and like but he's fine joe biden yeah whatever like joe biden yeah creepy old man like but he's harmless and then now people are like after me too we're like no that's like you can't do any of that stuff that's not appropriate this guy was trying to be like old school being like oh he's harmless and then now people are like after me too we're like no that's like you can't do any of that stuff that's not appropriate this guy was trying to be like old school being like oh it's just uh i'm just a sweet old guy just a little smell of your underwear i don't know yeah so the the titty protest to me is always just like, how is this helping? I don't know. We'll see if they get it overturned, though, and then you'll be eating your words.
Starting point is 01:27:32 Well, if they do, good, I guess, because they go, hey, every girl pulling her tits out and grabbing them. Truly, that's a win-win for everybody. Yeah, that's how you get legislation passed, and it'd just be like, yeah, I hope you're right. It's just like tasselsels just like spinning them around the girl trying to get like a stop sign put in a neighborhood shit my word hey i'm here to talk about the construction project that's been going on too long at a fourth and 15th um they go we're
Starting point is 01:27:59 listening she goes okay start the music pump up the jam and then she goes pump it up pump it up they go all right we'll take your promotion time is up uh please seed the floor anyone else another girl comes out she's like yeah i just want to say that the uh asphalt's been a little bumpy outside of the local community center and they go, we're not really hearing what you're picking down. She goes, start the music. The lights go down.
Starting point is 01:28:32 Fucking the fog machine. Up the chance. Pump it up. Pump it up. Up the chance. Pump it up. Pump it up. All right, we've seen enough.
Starting point is 01:28:42 All right, we'll consider the asphalt next Thursday. Is that going to work for you? We'll put in the budget. She goes, I was seen enough. All right, we'll consider the asphalt next Thursday. Is that going to work for you? We'll put in the budget. She goes, I was thinking Wednesday. They go, So that's that. But this is the mother load of why I wanted to bring it up.
Starting point is 01:29:00 This girl goes, One day, I woke up with a debilitating fear of boobs but i won't let it control my life this is odd one crazy right so essentially what happened is this girl's got small ones right yeah she's got some dude she thinks he likes big ones this she's got like anxiety the whole ball of wax everything these girls could have she's a blogger you fucking name it right yeah so she starts believing that like oh this guy every time he's looking at boobs he's thinking about those boobs and it like really starts to make her brain go crazy right to the point where she's gotten to the point where her obsessive compulsive
Starting point is 01:29:36 disorder latches on to themes and terrorizes her she says but the main three are dying violently, my boyfriend Mike dying, and boobs. So she can't even watch a movie. A movie. A boobie. Boobie. Boobie. That's right. Sometimes in my 35 years on this planet, I've developed a crippling fear of tits.
Starting point is 01:29:56 So she's watching a movie with her boyfriend. You know, some titties comes on the screen. She goes, ah! Ah! Yeah, like, I want to know, like, what's the reaction like when that happens? I was also wondering that myself. Like, is she like off turn it off please no she actually says she does the thing where because you can check if you're like a parent for movies like there's like some website where you can check just to see what's gonna happen in the movie so you don't expose your
Starting point is 01:30:17 kids to it and she like watches those for like as an adult just to make sure there's no breasts why can't she wouldn't like exposure therapy be the thing for that where you just take her to the ripper you didn't read the second half because that's what she tried it was a really long article i didn't expect you to read the whole thing but that does what happened she goes to a therapist right and her therapist is doing stuff like that legitimately like okay just you know picture a dome yeah now picture a second we need to take a break we need to take a break okay just stop for a second we're okay we're just everything yeah everything's fine okay i'm just gonna show you a girl in a snowsuit here she's
Starting point is 01:30:57 gonna unzip the snowsuit she's having a flip out so the boyfriend's dealing with some fucking nutty i guess you can't get implants. That's not a solution for what the fuck. Get in. Well, I guess we make it. She's got scared of herself. Well, but then she has the huge jugs now and she just knows that there's nothing to be scared of.
Starting point is 01:31:13 And then also like she's not self-conscious because she has the jugs. Oh, no, no. That's the answer. Yeah. Clearly. Yeah. She didn't even mention the possibility of plants. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:31:21 That's crazy. You go, buddy, plant it up. It seems like obviously yeah i think so robert and roberto plant i i don't know what she's thinking she's she's out here doing therapy the therapist is like showing her you know just a picture of one boob and she with her eyes you know taped back to her head and it's like get some implants yeah get some implants problem solved and if you don't like them, you can have them removed. But then the problem is
Starting point is 01:31:46 maybe she becomes scared of herself as she wakes up in the middle of the night trying to rip out the implants and all this sort of stuff. I guess, yeah. Fear aboom. I guess that's like you're locking yourself in like a cage.
Starting point is 01:31:55 Well, you have that fear of vagina. How does that work? I just close my eyes and pretend it's an ass. You should put a little... Put a little little dirty sanchez on top i give myself a dirty sanchez just to simulate just to simulate it a little better i just put it right right under my nose right there you have a fear of the opposite of no titties? What? What? What? What?
Starting point is 01:32:28 What? What? Fear of no titties? What? You have fear of no titties. I'm not a boob man. I'm telling you. You are, though.
Starting point is 01:32:35 I'm not. I'm an ass man. I don't think you are. I am. I am! I love a nice ass. As long as it's on the dude. Anytime Mike and I watch a movie,
Starting point is 01:32:46 I first have to check it on Common Sense Media. That's what you were describing. I decided after watching Gangs of New York, I read the comment on Common Section Media. Brief nudity, breasts, buttocks, character in bed with three naked women, so that she had to go, that was going to be a no-go for her.
Starting point is 01:33:03 She can't go to the beach, none of that. I feel like I have that. I'll tell you one thing i will say that i i don't have a fear of this but like in the last i would say like obviously dudes being nude are funny sometimes yeah but in the last like this the sort of like judd apatow seth rogan era movie yeah they started getting a little carried away with how many dicks they're putting in movies oh do you see euphoria it's like dick city and yeah so like i get why someone doesn't want to watch a movie and it's just like a big honking dick every time and honest to god they don't usually go that small no because it's i don't know what it is only ken jong is the only one it's it's ridiculous yeah so and i think it is it's because it's like the cuck movie producer era.
Starting point is 01:33:46 Do you know what I mean? It's like these guys are all like. You know, that was in. They picked like honking D's, right? In Popstar. Popstar. That was, what's his face? Judd Apatow?
Starting point is 01:33:54 Yeah. What? I think I knew that, but why? Yeah, I don't know. But that was like at the limo with the windows going up. It's like that Quentin Tarantino thing that everyone's been talking about where he, because there's like a scene where he like has to lick the girl's foot and drips the thing down it's like just remember he wrote this and casted himself in that role
Starting point is 01:34:10 and he's like a noted fuck guy or whatever but it's like yeah why would judd apatow like decide that like hey i'm gonna be the guy waving my dick in this movie i'm not in the movie but i'm gonna cast myself as dick number three yeah i guess this is funny everybody huh you go i mean you're kind of our boss so it just seems like it just seems weird that they're just like because you know you have a bunch of people like watching movies in their bed and then you just like i guess i don't know what why they wanted obviously it's a little bit funny but for some reason it's been like over the course last seven eight years well it's just revenge it's like they're going but it's revenge by guys yeah yeah that's true it's like guys cucking themselves yeah to a degree i think
Starting point is 01:34:48 they're also just trying to placate whoever is complaining you go okay sure there's been so many breasts here's some dicks i guess you're i think that you're being uh i don't know over the over like too much on their side i think it's something more at play here yeah i think they're trying to in the occult something in the occult yeah something in the occult some sort of well anyways the righteous gemstones i told you that they want to be to potentially like audition for it and the guy like liked me at this show or whatever blah blah well anyways the guy that i watched the show and the guy that i was gonna do guy has his fucking dick out half the movie and by the way i would have been terrible at this character
Starting point is 01:35:25 i got judy cheats with and he's like the guy who they picked actually did a really good job i don't think i would have been good for this thing yeah but this dude he's got like a full scene where he gets in this big fight and he's got his dick out the whole time yeah that's i thought it would have been insane yeah it'd be tough for the podcast would you have done one of those probably not i'll tell you i don't think i mean how are we supposed to do the podcast after i'm just like podcast is like done what after i've got my dick out that much why i don't know you think it'd be weird for you no not for me i don't know you're just so weird afterwards so it's like i can't stop looking at your crotch yeah yeah yeah yeah well it's a little weird
Starting point is 01:36:07 yeah i agree so i have a version to that but i don't i don't go ah i just go i don't know you're just sitting there with your chick and it's like some guy waving his dick around it's just strange yeah i agree not for me anyway tell you that much yeah it's also not for me i hate that stuff i don't know comment below if you like the dicks i hate that stuff comment below if you're loving the dicks hating the dicks so this woman on a movie night i'm feeling casual i don't and i don't first search the title on my website having breasts appear on the screen surprises me like having tarantulas in my bed i stiffen what if i look at mike and see the boner in his eyes so a big thing is looking at the guy stiffen too when i see that stuff so she's kind of like how i am with dicks and i guess
Starting point is 01:36:55 how you are with it which exactly like her you stiffen i don't like them and you stiffen when you see a lot of dicks you're used to be real stiff none of us are stiffening if mike's cruel enough to look at me while i spiral in distress he'll see me hard at work trying to conceal the horror on my face so this guy's got a real problem so she said she's watching porn and stuff like that to try to like and at one point she goes i'm watching like all these like gangbang scenes to try to desensitize. Imagine going home and fucking dating a girl. She's watching all these gangbangs. She's like, I need to get over my fear.
Starting point is 01:37:28 She goes, I can't even live. You just start screaming in the other room. Do you think she's so bad that they'll buy oranges and then he'll put the oranges beside each other in the bowl and they're just like, nothing resembles breasts? Well, that's what it sounds like. I'd search the internet for best sex scenes, graphic sex scenes all this sort of stuff sports illustrated swimsuit photos bikini hunt after each exposure i'd spiral down an inferno so she's like running
Starting point is 01:37:56 around having like a manic episode and the boyfriend's just like are you looking at boobs again she's like no i mean it's hard to avoid them, I guess. But this is, I've never heard of such a thing. Having to look at a picture of a boob and having a literal meltdown. Could you look at one boob? Is two boobs looking at double as bad, you think, as one? I think that's how she probably started trying to do stuff like that. She tried to go one and then the other. And she goes, nipples are not lasers.
Starting point is 01:38:24 This is what she has to tell herself. Nipples are not not lasers so this would be an annoying person to date that's for sure they all are it's medical do you know the world cup um they've been giving out like twenty thousand dollars free tickets for the women's uh thing which is obviously kind of funny. Son of Freedom Part 2. World Cup 2023. I don't think the girls need to... Listen, the girls have their new sport, and that is fake horseback riding, if you've seen it.
Starting point is 01:38:56 Nice. This is the new thing. This is your sport. You don't need to worry about the ticket sales. You don't need to take my thing of taking your top off to try to increase the sales. The basically just they get a fake horse and they ride around and then they get judged on it and that is the new women's sport men aren't going
Starting point is 01:39:13 to stay away from it it's your i don't i mean maybe did you see that synchronized men's synchronized swimming made in oh boy already no next year they just announced it like yesterday or two days ago that they've accepted men's synchronized swimming well this is literally the snl skit i know right with harry shearer i think i don't know the guy's name the guy who played uh the the the martin short yeah martin short and i think harry shearer who plays miss who's the voice of mr burns um but that's the two of them yeah like and literally that's gonna be a sport now i mean it is a sport but brutal now it's uh in the olympics men's synchronized swimming i'm gonna read you a question actually okay i'm gonna do one thing first then i'm gonna read a question this guy my
Starting point is 01:39:57 ex is lying about me being a sex god this is so funny in the wake of our breakup my ex-girlfriend's lying about me to all our mutual friends traditionally these would be stories about what an awful boyfriend i am you're right this is the opposite of our breakup, my ex-girlfriend's lying about me to all her mutual friends. Traditionally, these would be stories about what an awful boyfriend I am. You're right, this is the opposite of what's been actually happening in reality. But in this case, that I'm a freakishly intense, kinky and satisfying lover with a penis that borders on alarming, which
Starting point is 01:40:18 appears to be a humble brag from this guy. But then it comes out, he goes, he's never even had sex. Yeah, he says I'm a virgin and it scares me. I know there are people who would appreciate this, but I it comes out he goes he's never even had sex i'm a virgin it scares me i know there were people who would appreciate this but i actually find it awkward and embarrassing particularly since the rumors have spread to people i don't know so he's this guy's like a church guy yeah and he's like back to in the dating scene and uh i guess like like people have heard the lore of this dude so he's like matching with people on apps and they're like holy shit it's a big dick
Starting point is 01:40:44 freak yes he's a virgin he's a virgin he's like i've actually never had sex before it's sort of an okay prank actually to pull because the girl you know just saying he's bad at sex if you're normal you're probably going to exceed expectations and most girls probably aren't going to totally take your word for it yeah but if you say he's good for good at sex and then girls sign up for that and then he shows up and he's just like doesn't know how to do it he's been like coming quick and they were like i heard you're gonna be like putting me on the fucking whatever though but if you're that dude you're just trying to get it in there then what do you just be like yeah i'll just keep doing this until i ruin the reputation it would be a bad prank for this guy because he's not the type of guy that's just
Starting point is 01:41:18 trying to get it in he's a v yeah that that is a tough spot for him if he goes i'm embarrassed uh that i have i guess she's embarrassed by the fact we didn't have sex so she started telling people yeah this is they're 20 like four or something too so it's not like this guy's 12 years old you know fucking 16 or some shit right and then she goes yeah how is sex he goes like he's crazy he was putting me on the walls he was so kinky and he was making he was tying me up to the torture chamber. I was in a wheelchair afterwards. And then this guy shows up like, excuse me. I am.
Starting point is 01:41:54 So it's pretty funny, almost a prank. But at this point, this story seems to have a life of its own, and he can't do anything. And he basically, do I need to get a doctor's note attesting to the perfectly average size in my trousers so that's what he's potentially proposing that'd be pretty wild doctor's note you go hey can you just like can you just take a picture of it i guess i don't know measuring this imagine you talk to me get out of my fucking office okay this guy from the patreon's got a question okay we because we talked about making fun of
Starting point is 01:42:28 the game or you know you said it's good or some some parts of it some parts of it some useful parts said a couple months ago he got out of a five to six year relationship and he's having trouble getting back out there my main concerns i had an accident when i was a baby and left my left eye messed up and the iris is cloudy white and blue and the other is normal dark and brown so I get self-conscious about it when trying to pick up chicks especially uh at least in my head since eye contact is a big part just seeing someone across the room first connection and I think that and I think that's all people are looking at so it's very you know self-conscious about it
Starting point is 01:43:05 and he goes any advice on how to overcome this when trying to pick up chicks 30 years old five nine slim build and he wanted to add that uh i could now get a painted contact lens to cover it up do you think that that's uh the way to do it or just say fuck it and who cares contact lens what i was literally in my mind i was thinking surely there can't be a contact lens that you could get where this would take away all of your self-consciousness about this issue obviously the conversation we should be having after you tried all this stuff no but you're like yeah i mean look the fact is is that there are some women who will just be like yeah they're weirded out by it or whatever like there'll just be there will be some portion of people who it might be an obstacle for them for whatever reason but there's a painted contact
Starting point is 01:43:55 lens you could buy so you could do all the stuff you can physically first right yeah painted contact lens dark bars um get jacked whatever you know what i mean contact also i'd say an emo haircut where it's just kind of yeah you could do that the beaver you can get the the beaver from 10 years 15 years ago it's just like this is what i was so there is that and obviously do anything you can physically and the end of the day i remember when i had like a broke my nose really bad and it was really crooked didn't really slow me down that much you know what i mean all that kind of yeah but again if you also probably weren't really self-conscious about it. And it was temporary.
Starting point is 01:44:27 Whereas like this guy. I sort of was for a second, but then it just went away. Well, anyways, unless it's like things prohibitively expensive, which I can't imagine it is. Yeah. I would just get the contact lens. I mean, I would still do all this other stuff too. I have one piece of actual advice. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:44:42 So obviously it's like, yes, do all the stuff you can. Make all the other parts of it better. If a's sick like no one's gonna give a shit right yeah for sure but one thing that legitimately and this is probably in sort of that pickup you need a good funny story to get into totally you know what i mean like i wrote one or two down like for example um like if you had like if you were like if you're solo you basically be like you know at a bar you could be telling girls like you know I obviously lost my like I had a bit of an eye problem because I was saving babies in a fire
Starting point is 01:45:12 like shit like that definitely has to be like an outlandish funny story say you were like an assassin for the CIA like some shit like that that's up the alley of like all that game shit but if you had like a really funny story about it at the bottom line is it's been addressed yeah it was funny and you're both moving on what about if you wear glasses and then you go just so you know the reason why i'm wearing glass sunglasses in size because i have this thing with my eye
Starting point is 01:45:34 and then you go let me show you and then you take off the sunglasses another pair of sunglasses it's like a russian nesting doll you just keep taking off but you're like and she's like how the fuck are you even doing this and it's like 12 sunglasses later you go it's like a russian nesting doll you just keep taking off they're like and she's like how the fuck are you even doing this and it's like 12 sunglasses later you go since this thing legitimately there's a way to make it funny but if you're like if it's hurting your self-confidence to the point of like actually even getting to that point then like contact lens i don't know i don't know what's the ever the reason you'd not want the contact lens that's to me it's like a lot of times with these like when anyone has a physical problem with them it's like oh i have this big thing on my face it was like i'm thinking about getting removed yeah to
Starting point is 01:46:12 do that for sure i've always actually always thought because like you know some people will have like a birthmark on their face or glasses you can have some glasses yeah cover it up a bit but i've always thought tinted glasses the ones that tint in the light yeah yeah exactly the tinted but i always thought like people have like the odd like weird birthmark like where it's like prominent i'm like i would just get that tattooed over at that point because you're like you have this thing that's like catches people's eyes on your face well but you have a thing on your face already right it's just like one thing's natural but you're like you know sometimes people have just like they'll have some crazy mole i would go at that point what would you tattooed? Just a big dollar sign on your cheek?
Starting point is 01:46:47 I don't know. It depends what the birthmark looks like. I would consider it though. Yeah. Did you see Dennis Rodman's tattoo that he got on his face? What did he get? He got, he's dating some girl right now. And Dennis Rodman is 60 right now.
Starting point is 01:47:00 And he got her face tattooed on his face, like right here. And it looks so shitty. Like it's not even like a good tattoo. Dennis Rodman's a wild guy. He's a wacky dude, but you're like, it's really like a bad tattoo. He's friends with Kim Jong-il. You know he's going to be a bit wacky. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:47:17 He was always wacky. He was wacky even when he was on the Bulls and stuff. But you're like, it literally like on his face. And it's like of his new girlfriend who's probably won't be around in two years don't forget that's what the when you talk to these anyone that has like you know something like that it's like all this is gone if you're cool you know i mean he's dennis robbins it's like you know he's multi-time i think he won six championships exactly right yeah but and also don't forget like if you're a dude that's all the things they always
Starting point is 01:47:46 say if you're just like in shape like are somewhat successful it's like it's so easy to surpass most of the guys and on top of that you have to remember like how gross girls are getting yeah yeah so was it 70 of girls are like really overweight right now right yeah and we have a bunch of articles about this which i think will probably cruise over to the patreon but it's like we're running out of time like there's like four articles about how women are just like up in arms refusing to shave yeah they want to be hairy beasts this is you know i mean yeah and so you have these girls they're out here putting on weight they're they want to look like sasquatch yep with the amount of hair they want to they want to look like austin powers comically in the movie and then they you these ladies want to have some nerve to be like weird eye you walk
Starting point is 01:48:31 in there and you go weird looking eyes you got there you tell them of course what's wrong with your eyes you know and then they'll go what's wrong with your eye you go but your eyes the one that looks weird but more importantly contact lens and also if they look at you go do i got fucking candy in my eyes patreon.com slash the boys cast bonus episode every week you can catch me in salt lake city this weekend it's going to be a freaking awesome show it's my first time to being at salt lake um we are getting very close to selling out all these canadian dates so definitely make sure that you get on that we have uh a New York coming up very soon. Tacoma, Vancouver,
Starting point is 01:49:08 Kansas city, Omaha, Edmonton, Los Angeles, Irvine, San Jose, Phoenix, Toronto.
Starting point is 01:49:13 Get on that. And I'll be at Burlington, August 11th and 12th, Ontario, Canada. Where are you doing in Burlington? Just a yuck yucks. Oh,
Starting point is 01:49:20 that's fine. Yeah. It'll be fun. Yeah. It's just down the street from who you're doing it with anyone yet. Uh, Kyle Lucy is hosting and kevin soldo sick that'll be a fun time yeah maybe i'll try to come back around that time because i'm coming back at some point but yeah the boys almost a couple hundred away from bugman versus bugman let's get there see you over at the patreon peace

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