The Boyscast with Ryan Long - Year of the Boys & Lessons from 2020

Episode Date: January 1, 2021

Vacinne, Older Women, Problematic Pickup Techniques & What I did wrong and right in 2020. patreon.com/theboyscast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And you can tell our friends, and they can have my things when we're dead. We are in forever. We are in forever. The Boys cast with Ryan Long, first podcast exclusively for The Boys. End of the year, start of the new. 2021 will be exclusively the year of The Boys. I said this before, but regardless of what happens, if you look on the Asian calendar, you will see that just a picture of one of the boys. 2020 was officially the year of the sheep. You'll see that it's a back in America. A lot of late nights in Toronto. Went out fucking those nights where it's 4am. And then everyone just starts making fun of the shit we've made fun of 100 times before. And you're like probably time to wrap it up just late at night beer in the air ain't it America

just needle in the groove take her home with some stuff we've already made fun of a thousand times beer in the air just turn the brain off I had to lie at the border a bunch because so essentially that was why when you saw Danny I was always like posting him and he's like, stop posting me. I'm in frigging three quarantines right now. He was in, he was in, he was in like, I can't remember what some other states quarantine, New York's quarantine and Toronto's quarantine

all at the same time. I keep getting calls from the government. They're like, make sure you're quarantined. I'm like, I'm out of the country, homie. I would go to the front desk and they go, hey, just so you, like when I would try to get my ticket, the people, if you type it in that thing, they won't let you cross. And then you go to the front and they're like, hey, just so you, like, when I try to get my ticket, the people, if you type it in that thing, they won't let you cross. And then you go to the front and they're like, okay, you're not in any quarantine.

I'm like, no, you've been in Canada for longer than two weeks. I'm like, yes. And I did that at customs too. So it was a little spooky because I'm like, dude, if I get trapped here, I will not be happy. But we made it through. All you have to do is lie. All it takes is lies. I have a good story.

And honestly, I do really think I have a good episode planned today. A friend of mine told me they were at Petro Canada, which is the gas station. And there was an old guy. He wouldn't wear a mask at the convenience store. And this couple, like a lady and her husband, that were probably in their 40s i think he said they go you know they started yelling at him get the mask off but the people i run ironically posting sheet memes fucking kills me they go you know you got to um you got to put the mask on blah blah and then he's like you know this guy was like based old

man love a based old man man in his 70s just birds up fuck you i'm not doing shit and then they called the cops on him they go well you've left us no choice and they called the cops and they're like yeah we're here there's a guy he doesn't have his mask on and like also you know just like in my video also we'd like you to be defunded after this call and so my friend was just like the cops were just like he wasn't on the phone with them but he was like you could tell the lady was getting irate because the cops didn't want to respond to the the life or death in the life or death incident of this 70 year old guy that didn't want to put his mask on and just that's that's where they're at calling the cops there's a guy

here without a mask it's like yeah i don't know what you want us to do lady we have we have real stuff to do and on top of that you've been working around the clock to get us defunded. Will I take the vaccine? There's a lot of people, you know. The truth is, the vaccine's just not, and I don't want to say this the wrong way, but, like, my fight, so to speak, in the sense that, like, I don't care. It's kind of one of those things with, like, the election, too. It's like, was there stuff going on? Funny business? Probably, you know, am I going to be caring one

way or the other? No, you know, vaccines probably help stand up, get back together, back out there quicker. Um, maybe there's some weird stuff going on. I don't know. I'm only one guy. I'll tell you what I, what is the truth though? I can't imagine me getting it anytime too soon, strictly from a logical perspective, from like an organizational perspective. I can imagine me being like, oh, I got to do this. So I got to get the vaccine. And then looking at my calendar and being like, yeah, I'm not doing that. It's like waking up seeing like, yeah, I have plans to get the vaccine today. And you're like, yeah, I have no interest in doing that. Blocking off half a day, going to the subway, waiting in line for a vaccine for something

that I have not been particularly scared about to begin with. Just seems like a task that I'm gonna be pushing off. I will be the last person strictly from a logistical. And they'll be like, oh, you're fighting the fight. And I'm like, I have not noticed. I looked at that on my schedule. I said, no, thanks. They would, you know, they're talking about,

they're going to make it illegal to fly and stuff like that with that. Yeah. Well, they're going to have to, because I'm not going to waste a full day doing some bullshit that I don't want to do. That's going to be the task that's been on 15 different to-do lists. So yeah, they will have to make it illegal to do anything. Like you'd have to, you'd have to really, really make that appealing. Like they have to come to my house and give it to me. And then I'd go, all right, fine. You know, fine. Give me the vaccine that's going to give me autism and retardation. Which is annoying because it's an anti-boy vaccine

because there's a potential that it could make you retarded. And girls are obviously already retarded. So it doesn't affect them. The side effects. I wish that the side effects I was already experiencing, if they said, oh, the vaccine might make you sick, I go, oh, well, then give it to me. We have no problems here. I'm already experiencing that symptom. Now, 2020 was definitely the year that professional complainers turned it up to 150,

just finalizing their lack of grasp on reality. Now, Emma Thompson, the actress, she says, she wrote an article, Emma Thompson criticizes the utterly unbalanced casting of older men with much younger women. It's completely acceptable for George Clooney, who is delightful, she says, doesn't want to make any enemies in Hollywood with her activism, to have someone who is 40 years younger than him or 30 years younger than him. If I'm playing opposite someone in a romantic way, they have to exhume someone because I'm 61 now. Do you see what I mean? It's completely and utterly unbalanced. And you go, the lack of reality is, should cinema be real or should we live in a make-believe world?

And these people believe it should be in a make-believe world. It all kind of boils down to that idea of why do you think that is? You know, why do you think that writers write certain types of relationships? You know, why if you have a hockey team, like I said, it's not 18 Asian guys. Why is that? Well, maybe because that's a little bit more what real life looks like. You go, it's completely acceptable. Yeah, because it's more common. That's why. And you say when it's unacceptable for you, what do you mean though? Do you get a look? If you're a 61-year-old woman and you're walking around with a 30-year-old man, do you get a look? Do you get people gazing

at you? Do your friends care? Are people on the, like, what exactly are you experiencing? And the reason you're experiencing anything is because, yeah, it's less common. You see some 90-year-old woman walking around with a 20-year-old, you go, what's going on there? You see a 90-year-old man walking around with a 20-year-old,

you go, ballin'. Kind of weird for her, but obviously there's an explanation for this. And generally it's money. And you go, yeah, because girls who are 61 don't want to usually be with a 20 year old guy and vice versa. So you go, the reason in film and cinema, it's generally portrayed more is because it's like that in real life.

portrayed more is because it's like that in real life. You go, okay, what, if you looked up how many relationships with 30 year gaps are men to women and how many are to women to men. And then you go, and you go, obviously it's way more. So you go, well then why is it that when people write cinema, they do that? So what should they be doing? You know, should they be like, there needs to be more relationships where there's this smoking hot model just with a homeless guy covered in poo. Why is there not more of that in cinema? Probably because it doesn't exist that much in real life. And I know there's been a move in Hollywood to move far, far away from what reality looks like, but you go, the fact that you can't grasp why you go, why is that? Isn't that crazy? Yeah, it's crazy. That's what it looks like. And we're both complicit in this.

If women want to start, if 61 year old women want to start clocking 20 year olds, throw your money around. I'm sure you can find one. If you're a millionaire, you could find one, go do it. And then start clocking up those numbers. You and all your famous friends, go, go find me and my boys when we were 25 years old and didn't have money. Find us, you know, put two mil on the table. Let us live in your fancy like sky loft. How about that? Do all of you guys get together and do that? And then it'll be like, Hey, there's tons of these fucking old women with 25 year old. Then they'd start being like, Oh, there's a phenomenon. Then that'll start seeping its way

into movies. The idea that movies should dictate how people act. We go, we want people to act like this. You know what we should do is just start fucking like writing it. And then they'll follow us. They think that there's so much that they're like the ones that tell you how to act. It's the same thing as like when a, like a woman actor isn't making as much money. And you're like, this person doesn't make as much money.

And you're like, well, they're less of box office. And you're like, well, that's because, you know, of sexism or whatever.

And you go, okay, you might be able to then fix sexism. And then that will probably stop. But until then the box office numbers are less. So should the, should the company pick up the tab? Also like,

you know, when you hear a two actress actress who's making $15 million complaining about she's making $18 million, you're like, and then you have the nerve to like talk about privilege and stuff. You go, come on, like read the room. It's the person, you know, having, has like a trillion dollar trust fund, like complaining that their dad's trying to like cut them off. And someone's like poor working at Arby's being like, I don't know if I'm the demo for this, you know, talking to normal people about your like 20 million off and someone's like poor working at Arby's being like, I don't know if I'm the demo for this.

You know, talking to normal people about your like 20 million. It's just like not the move. But it's the same thing where you go, okay, if there isn't that many people that are doing this, you can help that by doing it. Go fucking ugly person. Go fuck a 20, go marry a 21 year old. You are welcome to do that. But no one wants that. Cause yeah, most girls want like a more powerful guy than them. And also there's 10

million reasons why it kind of actually makes sense where you go when I was, if I was dating someone right now that was like 50 years old, I think I would be like a handful for them. Even the same reason when I was like 20 and I dated someone 30, they're like, this guy is like a crazy person. Whereas now if I date someone like seven years younger, it actually kind of fits pretty well. Cause you know, men and women mature at different rates, especially, you know, especially with the kids thing and the way that everything's shaken down. It's like they, they, they want to hit the things in their life at a different rate even. So it actually kind of makes way more sense for a guy to be with someone younger. And a lot of guys are more fine with being with a girl that's just hot. That

like doesn't really offer anything to them in their life. And then they go work at their other things and then just have this like trophy wife. Whereas girls walking around at 60 with like a, uh, you know, some like hot young, like dancer. Everyone's just like, cool. Like you don't get as much points. You would get more points if you walked around with like some impressive CEO. So there's actually a million reasons why. From one, the two actually fit better with an age gap, like even just personality wise and life wise. And for two, you don't get the same like buzz from having someone 30 years younger if you're the opposite sex but you should ignore that if you're a screenwriter and give Emma Thompson a fucking

just 19 year old stud just packing John Hamm style where you see the fucking imprint of the dick just walking around just and she's not even rich in the movie just some chick she's a nanny you know grandmother she's got her kids there and then her 19 year old she's just coming getting dick that's what they should write and not even like it's that shouldn't be abnormal in the story that should just be like one of the characters they shouldn't even address it they shouldn't even address why she's with this 20 year old person that's that's the way hollywood should start writing but this is what it looks like when it goes the other way.

And this is one of the, probably the best articles. And I took a while to get to it, but I'm just going to talk about it for a second. They go, this is an article in The Cut. And girl said, can I still charge my boyfriend rent

after we are married? You mean rent for both of your places? you mean rent for the place that you both own welcome to the real world my fiance and i live together i own the house it's paid off and he pays me 500 a month the bills which first of all if you were a guy like good luck with that arrangement if i like a house that i owned girl comes in, you're paying for it. It's tough. It's one thing if you have the mortgage. It's another thing if it's paid off.

Try selling that to a chick. The fact that you even got that deal, it's tough. The bills in the house are very low and come out to about $300. So essentially, he's only paying $200. He thinks that once we get married, he shouldn't have to pay rent anymore. And that we should split the bills evenly. This frustrates me. Oh, well, welcome to life.

Because I worked so hard to pay off my house early and I feel like he's taking advantage of that. He has made less money than me his entire seven years we've been together. And it's been a constant issue in our relationship. So, unfortunately, sister, unless you hit him with the prenup, that is both of your houses now. If anything, maybe he should charge you rent or just divorce you and take half the house. Welcome to the future. Now, first of all, there is actual advice for this because guys have been dealing with this problem for the history of time. It's like, yeah, if you're really rich and you've got money and you date

someone that has less money than you you have to be kind of like okay with the fact that you're going to be spending way more than them or lady find a rich dude that has more money than you or as much money you which is why they don't want girls don't want to date less than them because they don't like this stuff but the actual advice which, which this was a dude, you'd be like, dude, if you're dating someone, if it's going to get a little complicated, if you're married, but if you own a house, you've got to rent that house out and then you move somewhere else with them. Because it's for one, trying to get them to leave your house will be a problem. And for two, there's no way for you to get any money from them at a house that you pay

off. So those need to be investment properties. Then it just sits in a portfolio like, you know, no, I own this place. And it's like, essentially like owning stocks. It's just like another investment, but it doesn't hit the same way. But if you, if they live in a house that you're not paying for and they're just giving you money, that's going to be tough. So if you want to own a property and you want to get rent from a chick, you have to not live in that place. That's just the bare bones of that.

And then on top of that, you need to spread your money around. I've said this on stage. You go, you put your money where your chick and where the government and your chick can't find it. And that being said, I actually am fairly generous with girls and with other people in my life. I don't have that much of a problem like paying for more stuff and doing all that kind of stuff. But there are big things like if you're, you know, worth tons of money, wait, that's why do you think people give houses to their moms and stuff like that? Honestly, though, like the reason you do that stuff on top of the fact that it's being nice is because they can't get that in the divorce now. That's why people spread their money around to their family. Duh.

That's one of the biggest things. Is you give stuff to your mom. You give stuff to like your other family members. And then when you get divorced. It's back to you when they die. And once you have kids it doesn't matter anyway. Because eventually it all goes to them. But.

You gotta be fucking smart with this stuff. And you go. Yeah lady. This is the kind of stuff you have to think about. And they don't like it. Kudos to the scrubs in the world, though. Honestly, some dude just working at Burger King, found a chick, tons of money, car, driving him around.

Kudos. You are the future and you give hope for the rest of us just pulling it off you know so this is why when you're talking about someone that doesn't understand like why cinema is written a certain way to reflect like somewhat of reality and then on top of that you know doesn't understand the dynamics of like a marriage when it works the other way around. And you go, yeah, I don't think you people are the people that I'd want to take advice from on how to live my life or anything like that. But this is what it looks like when they do give you advice from everyday feminism, which is my favorite, second favorite. And editor's note

that the article says how to compliment a woman without objectifying them. So like, you know, everyday feminism's guide to smash and pause editors note this article is focused on the problematic ways men are socialized to approach women they find attractive these men may be straight bisexual pansexual queer or they can be cis or trans so it's also trans men too like you're in the scope dude you thought you're just gonna you know you thought you're gonna shave head, become a trans man, grow a beard, and you thought you weren't in the scope. They got you too, pal. So trans men are also problematic when they're picking up girls.

Also bisexuals, gays, all of them. And why were we conditioned to pick up women like this? In ways, you know, like I said before, most of the ways that people are conditioned to do anything is because historically it's worked. But it's even more complicated than that in their article. The stereotypical men and women come on attempt. Ah, the stereotypical men and women come on attempt. Boy sees girl.

Boy finds girl attractive. Boy approaches girl and attempts to get in her pants by telling her how sexy she looks in her lime green halter top and skinny jeans. Just a classic scenario. pants by telling her how sexy she looks in her lime green halter top and skinny jeans just classic scenario and how if she sleeps with him he'll treat her to a breakfast in bed consisting of homemade eggs benedict and side occasion sausage and freshly squeezed orange juice guy girl finds boy creepy and tells him to fuck off it's the classic scenario we've all seen it a trillion times boy feeling rejected or hurt becomes angry and lashes out at the girl, calling her a bitch and stupid cunt. The scenario described above, although slightly embellished, is a common one.

Just classic. The classic scenario. Everyone's seen that. That's one way of picking up girls. And all of this stuff a little bit boils down to when they go this is bad way to do it this is a good way to do it it's like no the guys that fucking are good with women and girls like can kind of probably use most methods and girls that are guys that are terrible it's yeah it's not gonna work if you're like this super bad with women guy and you come up and you're like

i want to make you orange juice in the morning you're so fucking hot i love to look at the halter top you're halter top and green cheese let me buy you make you orange juice in the morning. You're so fucking hot. I love to look at the halter top. You're halter top and green juice. Let me buy you, make you orange juice. I'll make you everything. I'll make you everything in the world. Yeah, that's one. That's maybe one type of way to pick up girl, but it ain't the classic scenario. You know what else happens sometimes?

Sometimes guy uses pickup techniques like telling the girl she's hot. And then sometimes she goes home with him and smashes. Sometimes wakes up, takes the breakfast. Sometimes he didn't say any of that. Sometimes she just starts talking to him. Sometimes the guy was a famous athlete and the girl came up to him. Or sometimes the guy was a famous athlete. Girl decided she was going to smash. He came up, started saying all these stupid like pickup lines.

Didn't really matter because she wasn't listening. She already pretended she was getting the orange juice and hopefully a vig from him in the morning, hopefully get on a stipend by the end of it. Sometimes girls slide into men's DMs and vice versa happens way more. But you know, trans men too, you're in the scope too. Sometimes trans men walk up and they just go, I'm going to make you orange juice. But it's the intent behind the compliment that can be problematic. I'm not saying that male sexuality and male sexual desires are wrong. What I am saying is male sexual entitlement is wrong. Yeah. If you're going up to girls

and before you ever said anything, you're like, I deserve this pussy. But maybe it's all of this stuff is like the complete removal of any nuance of how any sexual relationships work. And most of the time, these people are lesbians writing these. Because, yeah, maybe that guy exists that offers you orange juice and you turn it down and he goes, I deserve these boobies. You're going to the nerve of you to take away my God given boobies. you're going to the nerve of you to take away the, my God given boobies. But when a guy, a lot of times when,

you know, you have that idea where you're like, Oh, this guy thought he deserved sex because of like our interaction that night. Yes. Sometimes that guy's just crazy. Small percentage. Or sometimes a guy got mad. Cause you let him on for 10 years.

You know, sometimes you took 10, you know, free drinks from him the entire night and your friends. And then you're like, we don't owe you anything. And you're like, maybe, yeah, you're right. He doesn't have any right to like do anything about that. But you can, he has a right to be like potentially surprised after your night of essentially lying to him.

And I go, okay, if you were working with someone or you had a friend and you friend and you like, I hate this person, I don't want to hang out with them or whatever. And they go, hell, I have tickets to this basketball game. I want to bring you to. And I, oh, I got this, you know, I got this crazy party. I'm going to bring you to. And I got this free stuff.

You want me to give you half of it? And you go, you take it all. But in your mind, you're like, I'm cutting this person off tomorrow. You're a piece of shit. If you're like potentially, you know, even auditioning for like a job or something like that and you're like in your mind, you're like, I have no interest in working here. And then you spend like a month kind of like letting them court you, but you've already made up your decision.

Like, yeah, it's kind of a shitty thing to do. So you don't see any culpability and you're like, yeah, no, you don't own us anything, but you don't see any problem with like a guy coming up buying drinks all night long. You know, you're like, oh, buy drinks for my friend. You essentially found a mark. You find some mark at the club, get him to do a bunch of stuff, get them to help you move. And then after that, you're like, can you believe this guy wanted sex? You're like, I can believe it yeah i could definitely believe that doesn't mean he gets to do anything about it but he still screwed him you know there's sort of somewhat of an understanding that that's what he's trying to

get so you know his intention like you said it's pretty clear what his intention was if you're at a bar and stuff like that and people are trying to up, they don't let me buy you drinks. It's like, it's ain't a friend drink. It's just kind of what it is. And it could go the other way around as well. But for you to then go like craziness that these people think they're entitled, you go, there's all different versions of this. But one version is a girl going around town, getting guys to buy free stuff for her and then being flabbergasted. But then there's also girls that aren't flabbergasted. You know, there's also girls that the guy buys all the stuff for and then he's mad. She's like, yeah, it's part of the deal.

This guy, yeah, this guy's pissed. You're like, I'd be pissed too, dude. Peace. We screwed you. Glug, glug, glug. You saw him, Mark. You took advantage. And he mistook your lying as a bit of interest

that's the game they say compliment her on something other than her appearance regardless of her age accomplishments or social status women are evaluated by their physical appearance overwhelmingly even hillary clinton with all her major political accomplishments is still the subject of articles that focus on her hair or fashion choices, which were the best when there was articles being like Hillary Clinton smoking. Woo wee. Hilldog? 10 out of 10. How does she stay so young?

Just Hillary Clinton is just a piece. How does Bill even handle being in a relationship with such a dime piece? But there's also the other way you go. They always do this with athletes. They go, you know, here's 10 tennis players and they go, look at this. They did the 10 top, like hot women athletes. They go, you don't see men this way. It's like, okay, well, when you were in a band, you know, a lot of people liked you for your music. And a lot of girls just have a picture of you on your locker with a fucking heart around you. And that's it.

Yeah, you're being sexualized. There's a lot of like 10 hottest athletes. But the problem is those are usually in men's magazines. So it's like, yeah, you're welcome to go make your women's magazines that have that stuff. Go make your women's magazines and talk about how hot Barack Obama is. And I'm sure some people do. You know, there's all the stuff with the Cuomo sexuals and Fauci. They just pick a weird fucking people to think are hot. But the reason is those are a lot of times men's magazines for men. So it's like, if I was reading

like, you know, fucking, uh, men's health and they're like, you know, look how hot fucking the 10 sexiest packages on male athletes. I'd be like, probably done with this magazine. Yeah. That's, that's why magazines for guys tend to focus on hot women. But I'll tell you what, the articles about Hilldog being hot, that one dudes, that was not like I was, you're not talking in popping onto like, you know, Adam Carolla and he was doing a big fucking Stern wasn't going on about fucking, Oh my God, Hill dog jaw drop.

This was like your bullshit propaganda to be like, and she's hot. And you're like, I mean, 80 year old woman Stern. She, and I don't mean Howard Stern. I mean,

she looks Stern. It looks like a woman that would, you know, be the principal at your school. And I mean, one at that, the hall monitor. So hot. Yeah. that was men doing that but they go so if you so if you know something about a woman such as that she gave a great speech in class or uh you took together or that she makes great

lattes at the starbucks she works at you know all of this stuff i go if you're good at picking up you do whatever you want if the girl's you, then you're fucking have an energy connection with her. You go, yeah, sure. I'd be like, yo, that latte was so sick. And she'd be like, oh my God, I complimented my latte. Yeah. But if you're a creep and you're like, fuck, do so much foam on that latte. You're no one makes a latte.

Like you showed up at your door when it's raining thunderstorm. You're there with a latte. It was perfect. Yeah. Not going to work. You're so fucking good at lattes. Compliment her brain. You want us to lie? So you admit it's all lying, but you're like, you know, just don't tell us how hot we were. First of all, a lot of you aren't. So yeah, I'd have to find something like your latte. I'm going to give you a compliment. I don't know. Your latte skills are good. The way that you pour the coffee into the cup. Nailed it.

They say avoid sexually charged compliments. It kind of reminds me of when you're doing stand-up and people do big act-outs. You're talking fucking stools. Some huge blowjob act-out rolling around on the floor. You go, it better work. You're right going up to someone you've never met before and is like your fucking titties is so nice you're taking a big shot

and if that works everyone's like sick dude yo this guy's got it and if it doesn't work it's more awkward now you got a guy rolling around on the floor and the audience isn't laughing and it's like that is much more awkward

than if he just stood there and told his jokes and they didn't laugh when you're rolling around on the floor and the audience isn't laughing. And it's like, that is much more awkward than if he just stood there and told his jokes and they didn't laugh when you're rolling around on the floor and everyone's like, yeah, so yeah, you're right. Going up to a group of girls and being like, yo, I bet your pussy's fine. That would be tough. That'd be a tough miss. It's the bigger, the shot, the bigger, the miss, just a complete lack of understanding of any of this stuff. They go, if you do decide to do something, say something nice about her appearance, which is entirely your choice, avoid using sexual overtones or telling her what you'd like to do. I mean, yeah, sure. But like the truth is put yourself in a position where girls like you make yourself somewhat attractive, make yourself powerful.

And then your compliments will probably be secondary. Don't listen to fucking, you know, don't listen to pickup artists. You're there with your card tricks and your pickup lines. There's a difference between yelling, hey, baby, you must be Tennessee because you're only you must be from Tennessee because you're only you're the only 10 I see the caricatures of a man that they think exists. Like if that person was saying that in a non joking way, that might have been said once in like the history of the world. Maybe she's talking about trans men because they just got into being men.

That's why trans men are so in the scope here because a trans man came up to her and he's like, oh, you're from Tennessee, Tennessee. Because he, you know, bought a book on like how to pick up as a man. Men's pickup lines for men. Tennessee, oh, this should do it. Tennessee, oh, this should do it. You know, and then asking how my day's going, respectfully asking if you could, instead of asking how my day's going,

instead of respectfully asking if you could speak to me about something or paying me a genuine compliment. Once a guy told me I had really nice teeth, which may sound unusual, but I was also something I knew to be true and therefore I appreciate it. No, yeah, I mean, this guy told me I was smart and I, you know, and smart and funny. And normally I would not like a compliment, but I know that I'm very smart and funny.

So he nailed it on that one. I do. Oh, I do have perfect teeth. You noticed. Trans men for sure, though, I think with the Tennessee line. So, you know, there's all these sort of things. It's like, you know, going back to stand up. You go, it's better off to do this.

It's better off to do this. No, it's better off to be like really good at the thing. And then you can probably pull off any of these. So your list of like how men should act and how people should do things is just like people don't need rules. What they need to do is like make themselves better and make themselves like desirable. So that's the kind of advice that people like are giving you right now. And it's all useless. But because it's the end of the year and the beginning of the new.

And I do. I appreciate like so much anyone who told their friends about me. Sub to the Patreon. Came to my shows. Bought a shirt. You know, spreading the word around. It's been very cool. And it's been kind of like an insane year.

Not the, and it's kind of weird because you're like, this year has been so insane. But like, for the most part, you're like, actually kind of the, one of the least insane years of my life, to be completely honest. It was the weirdest year, you know, very, very weird for me. Like both, you know, I'm in a new country. This stuff happened and kind of changed my entire life from doing stand-up to like all this other stuff so in a lot of ways it was the weirdest year but in terms of the actual craziness you're like I guess it's a lot of craziness going on but most

of us are probably like in your house for the most part you're not really partying anymore like bars kind of shut down for the most part so it's actually been a calmer year in a lot of ways. So somewhat of a focused year, but with all this stuff that happened, I feel like there's a lot of like lessons I learned and things that I can look at and say, I did bad or I did good. So I want to go through first, I'll go through what I did. I want a couple of things I did good and bad and what to take from them. And then some of the things that I was reminded of that I think that everyone could take from. So the first things, things I did bad this year. I think I took too many favors early on. Because I think you want to be in a kind of like what I was talking about early on with the, you know,

taking a bunch, being a girl and like just letting a guy buy you like $200 worth of drinks. You know, I think you want to pay back your social capital. And so a lot of people right now will be messaging me about this and this. And I feel like I owe them. Even when I first moved here, you know, people that put me on their things or put me on shows and a lot of people were very helpful. And I feel like I owe a lot of those people. And now that I'm like really, really busy,

I feel like I kind of maybe moved things too fast and took too many helpful things whereas I think it's not the best to always take so many people helping you. So I think be weary of taking too many favors because you don't want to be the person that doesn't pay your social capital back. There's nothing worse than someone

that sort of like takes favors from you and then when you ask them for something, they kind of like ignore you or whatever. It's a shitty way to be. So I think the trick is to some degree, especially when you're doing something new, be fine with moving a little slower and take a little less help. I think I took a little too long to accept that stand up is temporary on hold. And I should have, I think I wasted a lot of time, uh, kind of like half-assed trying to do it and stopping and starting and stopping and starting and I think I should have realized that right now

it's for fun or if I want to do you know vacations and do like a weekend you know and for money or whatever it is but in terms of like the grind of doing three shows a night in the city it's over and I can't compete there so I think that certain things a lot of people might have been doing something else and trying to do a half-assed version of that for too long as opposed to moving on and being like, what can I focus on until things get back to normal? I was probably in the middle in terms of people,

but I probably could have done that a little quicker. I remember I used to do the late shows. Like when I did stand up, it would be like, you know, seven, nine, 11. And sometimes on a Friday night, it'd be like the seven and nine, I'd work really hard. But the 11, I'd be like, you know, seven, nine, 11. And sometimes on a Friday night, it'd be like the seven and nine. I'd work really hard. But the 11, I'd be like, you know, tell my chick to come meet me and just kind of like

get drunk. And I was like, that show was just for fun. I wasn't like getting anything out of it. But it's like the in between, you're like, oh, maybe I'll work on a new joke. It's like, no, you're getting stuff done when you're focused. Whenever you're like half-assing anything, you just get nothing done with anything. Things I did good. I think that I stuck to my guns and on a lot, on a few different things.

Like for one, there's a lot of people pulling you in a lot of different directions. And I think that a lot of it's because I've been through this a lot of other times in my life, but I didn't go over like the dark side for views or money and whatever that dark side might be. That might be the industry that might be, you know, there was, for example, like a big, like right wing, uh, site that has like, you know, one of the biggest ones that offered me like a pretty, pretty substantial amount of money to go do like a comedy show there. Like, you know, be like the flagship show there. And it was pretty, you know, like a life changing, like amount of money. And I didn't get starry eyed about that. I just said like, no, I just don't see that as like what I want to do. And I did that with a lot of other things.

So I didn't get bullied by the industry, even with little things like, like I said, with the standup, even later on, like having a lot of people were like, you know, you should tour and we have these dates and these dates, but I'm like, you know, but why though? Right. So that idea of like asking why instead of why not? And I think a lot of times it's so, you know, you go, why not? But like, why? So when you're having these conversations with people, a lot of times, and you know,

a lot of times the answer is money. Okay. So that's what I'm weighing money against, like what I want to do. Or, you know, I'm weighing like essentially appeasing you. But I was, I think I got pretty good at like saying why instead of why not. Staying focused instead of getting bored. I think that there's certain people that are, you know, pretty good naturally at things and you, whatever you do, you probably get pretty good at it. And you know, whether that be starting to think about like

trading stocks or something, or, you know, uh, changing programs at school. And I think a lot of times those people, because of 80-20 principles and all that stuff, because the first 80% you can move so fast, it's very exciting. Let's say you started playing an instrument. You're getting pretty good pretty fast. And then once you get pretty good, the next part you start moving slower. And the difference between coming like, you're the guy that's been doing it for a year that you're like pretty good at. You're not the best, but then that you spend another, you know, five years becoming an expert essentially. And it's so easy to get, get bored and move on. I think even with like things like the videos,

it's kind of like the tendency is like, okay, what now? Okay. What next? You know? Okay. I did. That was good. We did all that stuff. What next? So it's like, let's do this. Let's do that. And it's like, I think the trick is a lot of times once you get to that, like 90th, 95 percentile, it's like, no focus on, you need to be like, no, no, no. Narrow it down. Don't have discipline when you're good at things and you lose focus. You can, you can replace your need for new things with a lack of discipline. Or, you know, not replace, but those go hand in hand. So you stop being disciplined in your need. And you can justify that being like, yeah, I'm conquering new things.

But it's like you're almost conquering a lot of new things. Girls. I think that one of the big things that I think that everyone should come to terms with, including myself, is that no matter what you're doing, whether you're in a relationship or whether you're single, you're always going to be thinking you did it wrong. And that never, probably ever goes away. So whatever you're doing, you know, I get little bits of it here and there. It's like, oh, am I messing this up? But that will never go away. Whether you're with like the super hot chick, you'll be like, I wish I was with, maybe I should have done this. Maybe whether you're with like, you know, the perfect, the, like the, what you think is the perfect girl for you. And you go, is this girl

holding me down? She's taking my, it never goes away. I think the idea of being like, am I, should I be in a relationship right now? Should I not? So the only way you can get close to going away, in my opinion, is focusing on what you have to do and have something that like a lifestyle design that doesn't like mess you up. So I think that's a big one is like, I think it's so, it's so easy to like get in that zone of, ah, this is, am I doing it right? And you go, I think the soulless is like, no, everyone thinks that, dude. I remember meeting like 60-year-old guys

and they're like, fuck, I wish I could, like, it never, never goes away. This guy's 80. They're like, am I fucking with the wrong broad? Or should I even be with a broad? Maybe I should be backpacking. You're 80. It never, it never stops.

So knowing that it never stops calms you a lot. And you go, yeah, okay, I'm going to be, these are the things I'm thinking about. But if I did it the other way, I'd be thinking about them too. That's just like the way that it works. Another thing that I think that I was dealing with a lot this year, which is you should avoid bad faith conversations. You know, I've seen some people on the internet, for example, especially ones where the ramifications are so high. Like I see people on the internet

arguing about like whether reparations is a good idea, especially if it's like a white guy and you go, what are you doing? Like, what's the, what's the point of this? Like maybe if something you really trust and there's like a forum where you kind of know this person's in good faith and you're actually having conversations of like, you know, what would actually happen? Would this be better? Would this solve the problem? How much money would it be? And you want to actually have that conversation.

But for the most part, it's like people are just trying to find like the fringes of your ideology in order to, you know, kind of drill you on it. And first, like the first thing you want to ask is like, before any of this, when someone wants to have a conversation like that, you go, do I get to have an opinion on this in your opinion? And is my opinion worth less because of my race or gender? So if you're talking to someone, you go, we're talking about like, you know, women or something like that. And you go, do you think that my opinion is worth less than yours? And you go, yes. And you go, okay, well, if my opinion is less worth less than yours, then yeah, there's definitely no reason for us to have this conversation.

It's better to find the, like the problematic points. And again, I don't know if I have like, you know, some like strong opinion on that one, but I go, I think it's better to find the problematic parts of someone else's ideology. Like if someone's trying to push some, you know, someone on this and be like, do you think someone should be able to say this online? And you're like trying to defend censorship and they're trying to find, you know, someone on this and be like, do you think someone should be able to say this online? And you're like trying to defend censorship and they're trying to find, you know, the, the point where it's like, it's too, it's too much for you even you go. Okay. But yeah. Like, what do you think? Like, you know, what age do you think that trans people should be able to, um, transition in a way that prevents them from puberty one? Like, what do you think's the thing?

Like, you know, there's a lot of tough questions on every side so you go yeah you're right there are like tough questions to ask if and if you're willing to have like a good faith conversation which i think you're not but like if you talk a lot about you know there's too many like white people in this field and there needs to be more it's like you know how do you reconcile the idea that there's a lot of like jewish people in certain fields like do you think that's a problem that there's too many it's like because those kind of that is like something that goes hand in hand in a lot of these jobs.

If you say, oh, there's like, there needs to be other people in law and there's too many of, you know, this type of person in law. Like you're kind of like by definition saying by any like logical jump, you're saying that there needs to be less Jewish people. Like, how do you reconcile that? Like there's problematic, you know, uh, of any argument. And it's better to like address like, yeah, of course there are points of all of these like topics that there is a thing. If you want to just start pointing them out, here's ones that like exist over there.

But more importantly, like if you think my opinion is worth less and you know, you just want to try to find like somewhere where you can get me on, it's not worth having. So I think it's better to like ignore all of those things. I think one of the things that this goes hand in hand with is know the cost benefit of the other arguments so you can like negotiate better. Like for example, let's say every song and movie is one format. So every song, you know, essentially in pop culture goes verse, chorus, verse, chorus, bridge, verse, chorus, some version of that. And every movie kind of follows like the hero's journey in a very, very specific way. So when you're talking about movie scripts, all the people's notes are usually is how to get more back to the hero's journey.

So, you know, if you're trying to leave a job for another job, like everyone's like, well, you, you know, you have this good job. This is the path you do. You finish school, you know, if you're trying to leave a job for another job, like everyone's like, well, you know, you have this good job. This is the path you do. You finish school, you get a job, you do this. And a lot of times people are just telling you why you shouldn't do things. And if you want to do like kind of alternative things, knowing that you I understand, you know, that path. And you're like, here's the path for that. And here's the like payoff.

And here's the path for like going all away from that. And here's the like payoff. And here's the path for like going all away from that. And here's the payoff for this. So you kind of be like, you know, I understand you're sort of saying like, play it safe. And I do understand that. But at the same time, like, realistically, if I was to do this, and then come back two years later, I wouldn't be that that far behind because that path is like a long thing. So I understand. And also you're sort of putting it in a position where it's like, you know, the payoff for that is lower. So it's like, I think right now the move is to take this other risk where the payoff is higher. And you're like, well, this is how you do here's journey. Like no point out like, no,

here's some places where they went outside of the box, for example. And here's some people that didn't go outside the box. And there's both those options. And so a force them to own up to the fact that they're just all, you know, they're playing it safe. And there's both those options and so a force them to own up to the fact that they're just all you know they're playing it safe and there's also ramifications from playing it safe here's a bunch of people that played it safe and it didn't work out or here's a bunch of people that like followed this thing if you're trying to you know make any sort of dent in culture and you're just making uh movies and songs that kind of like look like everything that anyone else has made you're like that might actually be harder to break in. So it's like, you know, there's, you're not always right. Just cause you're saying like the mainstream opinion. So sort of pointing out like the pressure points in the ideology of people

who are like telling you not to do things, I think is like a better way than like defending your risky decision. And it kind of, a lot of this goes back to like trusting your instincts, which I think, cause your brain is like working against you, essentially. If you think about it, your brain's there to like solve problems. So if it doesn't have any problems, you're trying to put this out of business. So the first part is like trust your instincts. Like for my instincts, for example, the Snoop Dogg stinks. And then recently I had a company that wanted to work with my Facebook account.

And what they do is they're like, okay, what we can do is we take your Facebook and we have all these accounts. And we essentially, it's kind of like a scam. They basically take videos on all their different accounts and post them on each other's pages. And just gets the videos, gets the views up. And then the monetization, because you can cross post on Facebook, the monetization like makes everyone a lot of money. But the pages of these were people like Ludacris, Snoop Dogg. So Snoop Dogg, if you go look at his page, he's always posting like funny videos and stuff like that. It's like someone paid him to do that. I knew this guy was lame,

but essentially if you go look at his Facebook page, every post that's like, ha ha ha, oh, so funny, laugh emoji. He got like a bunch of money to do that. And you go, that is fucking lame, dude. So trust your instincts on that. But, and then also do experiments to hone your instincts. Cause that's, this is what like the brain will try to screw you up and your instincts will be generally better, but not if you don't do anything like you need to know where the bumpers are to hone your instincts will be generally better, but not if you don't do anything like you need to know where the bumpers are to hone your instincts. Here's an example of something that I did recently. I did the like pedophile, uh, sketch and I knew that the, that I was starting this like really slow. And I knew that my, my, I was like, you know what? I don't know. I think a

lot of, there were a certain amount of people that really like me and they were like in enough to when it actually did pay off and it started to get funny. They were like, fuck, that's so much funnier because they were in.

But if you weren't in on that, you kind of were like, ah, this skits, like you're like 10 seconds in and you're like, I don't even get what's going on here. That's kind of boring. And in my mind, I knew that.

Like when I was watching it, I was like, this starts a little slow, but I'm like, fuck, if you can, if you can watch it in the right context, it's like so funny. But I'm like, do people like me that much? Do I have that kind of power? And the answer I think was no, I think people that really liked me thought it was funny, but like on the internet in the context of needing to go viral, I think it moved a little slow. But when you move slow, sometimes those jokes can be like way bigger laughs. It's like the comedian that sort of, you know, sits in silence for like, you know, a good 40 seconds and then kills, but you really got to like own them. If you went on and they didn't know who you are and you just started like that, you know, literally have to be the best joke in the world. So I kind of, you know,

you do those experiments and you go, okay, so that maybe I reel it in next time. Maybe I try another experiment where I'm like, you know what, let me try another one where I kind of start a little slow, but go for a bigger laugh. But, you know, I'll reel it in next time. And I kind of know that's a spot that I don't have, you know, enough power to like pull that joke off in that context. And I think a lot of things are, you need to like kind of do those experiments to find out, you know, again, picking up girls, we're talking about that. It's like, you kind of try things and then, you know, you're like, I know that doesn't work. So when then you can move on your instincts, which is just like a list of things that you already know without your brain actually trying to like, uh, interrupt you

and try to sabotage it so it can put itself back to work. So yeah, ignore the noise. Cause there's always noise. It's just part of the ecosystem. You know, some ant that has some opinions on you. I was talking to some of my friends. They're like, you know, they've done some stuff and their extended family saying this and this. You just got to ignore. They're always going to be people complaining. Just like focus on doing what you want to do.

Like right now, people are nonstop arguing about that woke racist video. Literally, I still pick up my phone every day and get like people that are yelling at each other. And it's like, now I completely ignore it. There's people on my, I released that religious video. My Instagram, I wake up to 10 comments every day of people still arguing with each other. And it's like, just ignore it. It doesn't mean anything.

It's once in a while you read the comments and you go, they don't know what they're talking about. This person said, recently on a video, it said, I i mean if you've never met a real a leftist in real life and your only exposure to those ideas is through the straw men that the alt-right construct then i guess this is what you would think they look like and it's like we're talking about hollywood major publications universities it's also people i personally know you know that idea of like calling people pocs and a lot of my friends who are comics being like, yeah, how about I'm not a person of color comic? How about I'm just a comic?

So this is stuff that like I know the entire entertainment industry. And it's like, no, that's you having something that you thought 10 years ago, not being able to adapt it to how crazy the world got. And you sort of sitting in the way that you saw the world 10 years ago and assuming that it kind of stayed that way. And that's not what happened. So you kind of look at these people and you go, that's fine. They don't, they just don't really get it.

They still think that like, oh, woke stuff and leftism is like really the same thing. And they don't understand that like the corporate nature of which has been taken over. And that's what they'll be like, oh, okay, I get it. S-G-W-E's are bad. Like, you know, one note. It's like, first of like, oh, okay, I get it. SGWs are bad. Like, you know, one note.

It's like, first of all, I'm not saying they're bad. Well, they are. But I'm not saying that. I'm saying they're funny. I'm saying it's hilarious. Saying this stuff like makes me laugh, which is why I like making videos about it. So that's why I think like,

ignore all that noise. It's like, it's not up to you to like educate people. It's up to you to win at your own life, I think. And I'm not going to do podcasts like this all the time where I just list off, you know, whatever you want to call it, like lessons I learned. But I thought it was something that I've been thinking about and be cool to do at the end of the year. Don't take wild shots.

That's another one that I've watched a lot of people whether that this year especially whether it be like in entertainment um in life in like fucking investing i just see people taking these like wild shots and it's like don't just throw hail marys out everywhere here's here's an example of video that got sent to me. And also before I, and also before I even say it, like you go the most of the time when you get things and I've, this is one thing that I've hugely noticed is most of the time when you get things, it's way after you needed it anymore. You know, it's like the guy that has a ton of girls was good at getting girls. The guy that has a good, good job that you like really wanted could have got four of

those jobs. Even right now, I have lots of people that'll like message me about like an appearance and be like, yo, congrats for being on that show, dude. And in my mind, I was like, that was like a hassle when that person asked me, like I got that person messaged me being like, Hey, can you come do this? And I was like, all right. Yeah. All right.

Like, because I was, I was getting these things like past the point that i wanted them like right now right now there's a lot of things but then there's lots of other things that i want and i'm kind of like maybe want them too much and then you're kind of realizing like you like let's say that i've said i wanted a netflix special it could be potentially you know two years from now when like it was so past me needing that and And you, you know, you could do bigger numbers and more money just doing it on your own. You don't need them anymore. So a lot of times things come when you don't need them anymore. So it's like not great to just think about what you need and taking these huge shots. So this is what if someone messaged me and I get

a lot of messages and a couple of which I've like worked with people. So one dude, this guy, Bobby, that's like shot a bunch of my videos. He was on people. So one dude, this guy, Bobby, that's like shot a bunch of my videos. He was on the Patreon and he messaged me and he was like, Hey dude, like, you know, I got a bunch of cameras. Here's my real blah, blah. If you ever need someone in New York. And then I looked, looked at it. He's like, it was stuff was awesome. And then now it's like, I probably bugging him too much. I'd be like, yo, we're going to do something. You come and he's like, sort of the is yeah because he didn't need this it's like so a lot of times when people reach out to me to like do something or i reach out to them it's like when it's get when it's uh when when when you

needed it more then they like it doesn't work so you want to generally like take shots when you almost didn't need them anymore and then you don't even take the shots. It kind of just works out the way you want it. But this is like an email that I got the other way. I go, hey, Ryan, I'll get straight to the point. I don't have any professional experience in comedy. But I think I'm well more than decent at writing funny stuff. I'm not exactly sure what kind of arrangement we could find. But I'd be more than happy to get paid for making people laugh if you're looking for that.

I don't want to appear on camera. I'm just not like that. I know there should, I should probably be sending you something to prove to you that I'm at least sort of funny, but I don't really track the stupid shit I say all the time. So if you are interested, I can make an effort to send you something for a short skit or something. Anyway, mate, love what you're doing, blah, blah, blah. And you go, what the fuck is this? Like, you know, and again, I think a lot of these people said these things out to like a hundred people, but you go, what's like, you know, and again, I think a lot of these people have said these things out to like a hundred people, but you go, what's like, who's, what's the point of this? You go, that's like me reaching out to, you know, Jeff Bezos and being like, Hey buddy, like, you know, not really experienced in that field.

But if you, if you're looking for like a co-CEO or something like that, or even just, you know, someone to Joe with, it's just like wild shots. And I've done, you know, I'm, I'm not even, it's just like wild shots and I've done you know I'm not even it's crazy but I've definitely done some things looking back where I'm like you know being 21 years old and like emailing like the head of universal and being like hey my or whatever 16 and being like you know my high school band is an EP like so how does this work like should I just uh should I drive it to you do you want to do like a listening party? You kind of look back at some of these emails.

There's been a few people that like I started working with after, and then I kind of am like, oh shit. Like I look at my like last message to them and I was like pretty cringe. So, you know, I think that's one thing that I've even realized now. It's like, you know, don't take these like crazy shots. You know, there's that talk about the law of hype. And I think this comes from the immutable laws of marketing. But it says, you know, things are the opposite of how they seem in the press. When things are going well, they don't need hype.

When you need hype, you're usually in trouble. Real revolutions sneak up on you. They aren't announced with a loud marching band, which I think could be the perfect way to describe sort of, you know, the, who the biggest standups are versus like who the industry is telling you they are and a million other things. But it's true. And you go, if something's being like rubbed in my face, I always used to say that with actors where I go, it's not even that I hate this actor. It's like, I can just tell you're hyping them up so much. Why is this guy at every billboard? I go, this isn't natural. So when you're always just trying to like overhype yourself, it's like people can sort of

tell. Cause like the real hype doesn't need to be hyped. So sell yourself in your mind a little short and then just be who you are. And now you're overhyped already. So I think that it's more about staying in the pocket. So that should be the 2020 stay in the fucking pocket. I remember a interview with the Smashing Pumpkins when they were on Stern, I believe. And I thought it was kind of cool the way that they like looked at it, where he was like, you know, this is what it is right now. We write better songs than people. We rock harder.

We're more fearless or whatever. I don't know if he said fearless, but I'm making it like way too. I'm probably just making it about me. I'm like, I remember when Billy Corgan said we are out here. We made the best jokes. We're the fastest Canadian to move to New York and explode. I made it a very,

a little too about me, but the bottom line is they kind of said, we're like, you know, that's why we do this better. We do this better. We do this better. We're in the fucking pocket right now.

And that's what it is. I mean, you know, then everyone kind of loses their momentum and they find something else or don't and the culture changes. But I think that that's the moment. No, don't flounder, you know, trust your instincts, hone your instincts, react to the world. Don't get caught up in stupid fights. Maybe all of it just sounds simple, but I try to articulate it into little phrases that, you know, you can keep in your head. Like, don't ask why, why not? Ask why. Whatever you fucking thinking about girls,

unless she's ruining your life, it's, you're always going to be thinking that. So anyways, that was a little bit of a different kind of podcast of the second half. I appreciate everyone, especially, you know, subscribing to the Patreon. And I do want to say, I, you know, I always say, you know, join my Patreon if you want to support and I've other episodes there and

they're all like pretty succinct. And I think that if you like the boys cast, you'd like that. But this I'm giving a specific recommendation this week, even if you wanted to join for one week and leave or whatever, because so what we're about to do is my friend my friend paul he got this big article about a chick that he used to date right right she wrote this huge article about him 10 years later hitting him and we went through it and it's like we can't go public with it because it's like you know we know this person is too it would just be like it's not comfortable to do this in public, but I've got him to agree to do it on my Patreon.

And I sent this article that his ex-girlfriend wrote about him. So it's like, to me, I was like, basically, when I went back to Toronto with the fucking boys, like, this is one of the things we talked about the most because it's so fucking funny. At one point, she goes, at one point in the article, she goes, and then at one point he goes, one point in the article she goes and then at one point he goes if you keep talking about me on stage and then he proceeded to do a digging a grave act out like he's so obviously kidding and there's just like banger after banger blames diarrhea on him i'm telling you it's like probably one of the funniest things i've ever heard but it can't be public so if you do want to go on the patreon around, this is a good time to do it. Okay. Happy new year, everyone. 2021 year of the boys. Peace.