The Breakfast Club - Are You In An Open Relationship?

Episode Date: March 9, 2023

Are You In An Open Relationship?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Had enough of this country? Ever dreamt about starting your own? I planted the flag. This is mine. I own this. It's surprisingly easy. 55 gallons of water, 500 pounds of concrete. Or maybe not. No country willingly gives up their territory. Oh my God.

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Post Run High is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. Listen to Post Run High on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. As a kid, I really do remember having these dreams and visions, but you just don't know what is going to come for you. Alicia shares her wisdom on growth, gratitude, and the power of love. I forgive myself. It's okay.

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Listen to Gracias Come Again on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's topic time. Call 800-585-1051 to join in to the discussion with The Breakfast Club. Let's talk about it. Morning, everybody. It's DJ Envy, Charlamagne Tha Guy. We are The Breakfast Club. We have Portia Williams here, and we're talking open relationships.

Now, this conversation comes from Monique. Now, Monique says she's done with open relationships. She don't want to have it no more. So we're asking, does this work? Have you ever been in an open relationship? Never. Never? It's done work for me.

No? No. I ain't got to ask you, Charlamagne. I know. No, I've never been in an open relationship. I don't even know anybody who's ever been in one i'm interested though because you know um it it seems to be working for some people but i wonder is it really all right oh you know what i do remember somebody telling me they were in an open relationship did they say it on the show i don't

think they said on the show so i can't name them but she said it didn't work out it was on the show it was on the show and they told me that they had she told me they had been in an open relationship now two men or was she dating and he dated she wanted she was with women okay she was with women and she wanted to continue to be with women and so they ended up making agreement to continue to do that and it didn't work out because you know i think she started to get emotionally tied with the other woman and he couldn't take it he didn't like it he thought was just gonna be sex and so they had to stop there's no such thing as just having sex I think most I wouldn't have most I would think most men would be cool with that like my wife

got a girlfriend you know what I mean not when she fall in love with her not when you like okay wait a minute you really like this person. That girl can do stuff with her tongue that you can't do. Well, let her teach you. No. No, she can't teach you. Now, listen. You can't learn what a woman can do for a woman. Most African men would like to be with more than one woman. Uh-oh. Hold on now.

No, they like believing polygamy. I'm just saying. Hold on now. It's a religion thing. And my husband is Christian. So, you know, depending on what their religion is, that may be what they follow. You know? But no, not necessarily. Gotcha. All right. christians so you know depending on what their religion is that may be what they follow you know but no not not necessarily gotcha all right well let's go to the phone line hello who's this

jelani hey jelani now tell us about your situation yours is very interesting yeah i talked to y'all actually a couple years ago um but i'm holly i've been in an over-relationship officially for about eight years with my husband but we have been living together for the past eight months with my other partner who I've been having an in vitro fertilization process with to have another baby. Is it a man? How about that's the same thing?

It has to be a man if you're doing in vitro. Two black, married men. Yes, two men. So you have two men living in your house now? Yeah, we all live together, but we live we have our own bedroom. So, you know, separate spaces at home. We all live together.

So how do you decide which man you sleep with each night? Um, I sleep by myself. Somebody get a camera over there at her house. Do they run on you? No, it's not called a It's definitely not called a Thank you. No, not at at all we've never even um anything together in that way dang she sound like the goat i choose to sleep with whoever i choose to sleep

with even if it's outside the house it's all ethical i'm honest about it i'm not there why y'all need a neutral then that's going on because the first can the first because my my children my children hide because i'm poly but uh i met this person right after my children's hide because I'm poly. But I met this person right after my children's hide. So for the past three years, we've been together. But now I want to have a child with him. He doesn't have a child. Oh, so that's why you want to have a child with him.

And what about the first husband? Did y'all talk about having a child together? We have two beautiful children. Okay, so you want to have one for the new husband. Why do y'all explain to y'all, Sharon, y'all got two daddies? Y'all got two daddy-in-laws? Yeah, they kind of would. Yeah, a whole bunch of love. Wow.

Some kids ain't got no daddy, so at least they got two daddies. Just saying. What you going to do when you come home? Very abundant. What you going to do when you come home one day and you're going to find both of those men in bed? What you going to do when you come home one day? What you going to do when you come home one day and find both of the men in bed? He's going to go in with his fantasy.

Why you go there? That's his fantasy. He's going to go in with his fantasy. Why is he so ignorant? I'm not mad at her. You got to take it there, but see, I'm not mad at her because see, most men, when you think of like an open relationship, this woman is the goat all

right because she has actually managed to have two men so she got her first husband to agree for her to have another man most of the time men say yeah we can have an open relationship but it's a woman yeah exactly and that's where i have the problem yes my husband my husband dates outside of me my partner he dates here and there. They have the capacity and the ability to date whomever they want to, but I'm good. They don't have to go outside of me as much, and they choose not to.

What about when the new baby comes? Are you going to want more commitment from the second guy? Why can't you just be polyamorous? I am polyamorous, but I don't lack commitment right now so what about them can they have other women yeah she said yeah yeah she said yeah but what if she get pregnant now we got babies everywhere how are we gonna pay

he's kind of he's kind of affecting me we're smart about this we've been doing it for a long time i got a headache just listening to you, boo. She said they smart about it, though. Thank you, Mama. Ray, Jelani. You're welcome. That is wild. I just got a headache. That's wild. This just gives me a headache. If she would have stopped that, this is, I got my first husband, right? I brought my second husband,

and we three are in a relationship. That's it. We have a commitment. That's, I can't understand it, but okay, I got it. But when you say you got three men, two men in the house, and everybody's still sleeping with everybody outside of the house, that's a lot. That's a lot of soul ties going on. I don't even know how she deal with that.

Jesus. Brittany, good morning. Good morning. How are you? I'm good. You were in an open relationship? I was. What happened?

So, basically, he and I were dating, but I didn't really care about, like, the toxic taste in it. There were things that he was doing that just didn't really fit what I was looking for. So, I wound up finding my current boyfriend while I was in a relationship with him. And I left him for that relationship. Damn. Did he know about it? Did he know that you were still dating? Yeah, he knew.

I told him when I met my current boyfriend. See, that's the problem. See, you date one guy, you find somebody that's better, and now this guy is cool with you dating, and then you leave him. But I don't really know if that's considered an open relationship

because open relationship, in my mind, what I thought the definition was, we're committed, but we sleep with other people, but we are still always going to come back home. Well, that's what people but we are still always gonna come back home well that's what she did but she didn't come back home she was dating and sounds like he was dating i want to talk to him he was dating too but we just i wound up finding somebody who made more sense for me and what i was looking for and it no longer made sense to be in that open relationship and continue on see this was

this is everybody's fear. This ain't fair. You know what I'm saying? I opened the door a little bit. We supposed to be doing this together. So here you go, come meet me and move on. Right, right. You know what I'm saying?

That ain't right. That's called monkey bar. That's holding on to one bar. That's one relationship and hanging on to another one and then letting that one go. That's what it's called, monkey bar. Exactly.

You learned that in therapy? Relationship expert now. I mean, he got a whole physical movement for it. Monkey bar. Monkey looking stupid like a little beige monkey. With them little white monkeys.

All right. 800-551-051. We're talking open relationships. Are you in one? Has it worked for you? Let's talk about it. It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning.

I ain't going away, man. I ain't playing. I ain't playing. I ain't playing. I ain't playing. They clean on you. You know what I man. I like me. I like me. I like me. I like me. That kid on you, you know what that is? Call me. And your opinion to the Breakfast Club topic.

Come on. 800-585-1051. Morning, everybody. It's DJ Envy, Charlamagne Tha God. We are the Breakfast Club. We got Portia Williams, our co-guest host this morning. And we're talking open relationships. Now, this comes from Monique, who says she's done.

She doesn't want an open relationship anymore. So we're just asking, are you in one? How is it working for you? Hello, who's this? Hi. Hello. Hello. I am anonymous.

Okay, anonymous. We got your name, though. Yeah, we definitely got your name, but we're not going to say it. Kimberly. Kimberly. Thank you. I was in an open relationship two and a half years. Uh-huh.

And our agreement was essentially if we're going to sleep with anybody else, we're going to let each other know ahead of time. Now, I never slept with anyone outside my relationship, not because he wouldn't let me. I just didn't want to. On three different occasions in these two and a half years, Oh, damn. And who I actually wanted to be with. And a month after me and him began a relationship, I told this other guy, hey, I know we're in an open relationship. I've met someone else and this relationship is over. And he was begging to be with me and all this. And I was like, well, you wanted to be in an open relationship.

And now the open relationship was the nail in our coffin. Lord have mercy. Now that's a real open relationship. Yeah. Thank you, mama. That sounds like the movies I used to watch. What's the movie? Them Twa movies?

Twa. Yeah. They don't end well. Pandora's box. I ain't seen nobody have an open relationship and it ends well yet. Hello, who's this? Hey, this is Jayden. Good morning.

Today is my birthday and rest in peace, Biggie. Hey, happy birthday. Hey, man. It's Bow Wow's birthday too and Chingy too. Hey, happy birthday. All right. What's your, too, and Chingy, too. Hey, happy birthday. All right. What's your story, brother? So I was in an open relationship, and my parents are in an open relationship, and my sister's

in an open relationship. And let me tell you. Where y'all stay at? Where y'all live at? Utah. So I think being in an open relationship is an opportunity to flex your communication skills and really learn about yourself. But ultimately, whoever your main partner is, your main squeeze, you really need to dedicate all of your energy towards them as well as finding out about yourself.

So in a way, it's a way to get stronger, in my opinion. How old are you? I'm 24 today. Oh, so his parents are like our age. So your parents, your mom had dudes in the house? I mean, they do now. Not when I was a kid. This is more of a recent thing.

How do you look at the other dudes that's tapping your mom's cheeks? Jesus. I'm just asking. Tapping your mom's cheeks Jesus I mean I Personally The way I grew up I don't Really see it like that you know They're adults I'm an adult now so like Whatever's happening On their side it's really none of my business

You know that's true So did you start having your open relationship because you knew your parents Were doing it so it's like a normal thing For y'all cause now this is gonna probably be generation opposite huh i started with the open relationship and they followed you oh they followed me i thought you said it was happening in your house already son he means now now no i'm sorry i miscommunicated yeah now so you so you date i guess you have a relationship with a i don't want to be assumption a sumptuous uh man a woman right i i had a previously i had a relationship with a man and

a woman okay okay you just greedy man so but what did you what did you say to your parents that made them want to open their relationship after all these years because i'm assuming they've been married for 24 years because they're still together now. What did you say to make over a relationship sound so good? Well, it's my dad and my stepmom. So, you know, I just kind of showed them, you know, what it was that made me happy and that made me and my little triple happy.

Okay. Yeah, and I guess they just kind of realized you know they needed to flex their their communication and such with each other because they were struggling yeah so your dad like that men too yes it sounds to me like everybody it sounds to me like everybody's exploring their shadow side and I think that you know it is hard to communicate your shadow side. But if everybody is, you know, dealing with their shadow side.

What's a shadow side? The shadow side is just like that. I don't want to say the darkness because dark ain't the right word. But just those things in you that you may not speak to anybody else about. Those desires you may have. Like this. You know what I mean? His dad clearly wanted to be with men.

He probably never felt like he could talk about it. He said his son do it. And now he's in it. Exactly. and he probably never felt like he could talk about it he said his son do it exactly so now that him and his wife can talk about it it just opens up the communication even more so you took your dad out with you and turned your dad out so he was able to see that wow he said yeah

don't let him tell you you turned your daddy out he didn't turn his daddy out his daddy been out okay he just was in yeah i mean yeah it just sounds like everybody in this house is exploring their shadow self okay you know and to give the technical term is when you uh it's the uncivilized even primitive side of your nature and we all have a shadow what's yours what's your shadow side um what the parts of myself that i deem unacceptable yeah that's if you could do it

if you could approach your wife and say this is what i want to do oh no me and my wife talk about these type of things so what's your shadow side i'm not sharing that with the world why we're all sharing this is a breakfast club what do you mean nah something that you should keep to yourself like a shadow side to something your shadow your shadow something you have to realize that that's part of you yes but you have to you have to accept that you have to accept yourself because if you don't you're denying yourself even the bad part that is very true all right thank you sir i want to learn my shadow side i'm interested and the way to find is you you pay attention to your dreams and nightmares you use shadow work uh prompts in a journal to understand your core beliefs thoughts and feelings you talk to your

therapist or counselor about the things that bother you and you look for patterns of behavior that you don't that you don't like in yourself so when do we get to indulge in our shadow self like when do i get to do these things i'm gonna find out i don't even know if it's the thing you indulge in it's just the thing that you might want to communicate because those are the things that make you feel bad right right but that don't necessarily mean you're a bad person just because you think about these things so who are the people in your life that you could talk to about your shadow self and they don't judge you okay you know probably your sister okay you know maybe i don't know i'm just asking like i don't know what my shadow is is it connected to

sex is it like oh i think about murdering Yeah, it might be all of that. Oh. Yeah. I think the world knows your shadow self. What's my shadow self? Mm-hmm. Mm. What's my shadow self? Mm-hmm.

We got rumors on the way, Paul. Oh, you have a shadow self. What's your shadow self? I really don't have a shadow self. No, you do. You admitted it. You just don't want to tell us. We could open up the phone lines right now and ask you.

You're a shadow self. I don't show the world. Tell us. I really don't. I've explored it. I don't have a shadow self. I feel like your listeners know you well enough that they can probably

tell you what your shadow self is. I would like to know. Yeah. 800-585-1051. You think you know shadow... But only a psychologist can tell you that.

You think you know Charlamagne's shadow side, something that he really wants to do, but is scared to let it out? Yes. You think you know that? Let's help him reveal

his true self. We got rumors on the way. Did we get a moral of the story from this open relationship? What's the moral? Nobody up here is in one. The moral of the story is it don't sound fun.

I thought y'all was going to make it sound fun. No. It don't sound like nothing I want to try. I'd rather just... We're going to stay inside. We're going to stay inside.

We're going to stay in our closed marriages. We're going to stay married. That's what we're going to do. I'd rather just definitely stay married. That's what we meant to say definitely stay married that's what you meant to say absolutely

we got rumors on the way we do we have some rumors coming up and they are really good so make sure y'all stay tuned you're supposed to say Tyrese oh Tyrese that's what I'm saying

it ain't in front of me now made it up we're talking Tyrese when we come back it's The Breakfast Club good morning The Breakfast Club had enough of this country ever dreamt about starting your own i planted the flag this is

mine i own this it's surprisingly easy 55 gallons of water 500 pounds of concrete or maybe not no country willingly gives up their territory oh my god God. What is that? Bullets. Listen to Escape from Zaka Stan. That's Escape from Z-A-Q-A-Stan on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey guys, I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, The Running Interview Show,

where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast, Post Run High, is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. Listen to Post Run High on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. As a kid, I really do remember having these dreams and visions, but you just don't know what is going to come for you. Alicia shares her wisdom on growth, gratitude, and the power of love. I forgive myself.

It's okay. Have grace with yourself. You're trying your best. And you're going to figure out the rhythm of this thing. Alicia Keys, like you've never heard her before. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Welcome to Gracias Come Again, a podcast by Honey German, where we get real and dive straight into todo lo actual y viral. We're talking música, los premios, el chisme, and all things trending in my cultura. I'm bringing you all the latest happening in our entertainment world and some fun and impactful interviews with your favorite Latin artists, comedians, actors, and influencers.

Each week, we get deep and raw life stories, combos on the issues that matter to us, and it's all packed with gems, fun, and influencers. Each week, we get deep and raw life stories, combos on the issues that matter to us, and it's all packed with gems, fun, straight-up comedia, and that's a song that only nuestra gente can sprinkle. Listen to Gracias Come Again on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everyone. This is Courtney Thorne-Smith, Laura Layton, and Daphne Zuniga.

On July 8th, 1992, apartment buildings with pools were never quite the same as Melrose Place was introduced to the world. We are going to be reliving every hookup, every scandal, and every single wig removal together. So listen to Still the Place on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.