The Breakfast Club - Best of Donkey of the Day

Episode Date: December 18, 2020

Lets flash back to the time Charalamagne gave "Donkey of the Day" to a man that begun watching porn and doing a little more things while on a work call. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Had enough of this country? Ever dreamt about starting your own? I planted the flag. This is mine. I own this. It's surprisingly easy. 55 gallons of water, 500 pounds of concrete. Or maybe not. No country willingly gives up their territory. Oh my God.

What is that? Bullets. Listen to Escape from Zakistan. We need help! That's Escape from Z-A-Q-istan on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey guys, I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, The Running Interview Show, where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast

Post Run High is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. Listen to Post Run High on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. As a kid, I really do remember having these dreams and visions, but you just don't know what is going to come for you. Alicia shares her wisdom on growth, gratitude, and the power of love. I forgive myself. It's okay.

Have grace with yourself. You're trying your best. And you're going to figure out the rhythm of this thing. Alicia Keys, like you've never heard her before. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

It's time for Donkey of the Day. Donkeys of the Day, ask Charlamagne. I'm a Democrat, so being Donkey of the Day is a little bit of a mixed question. So like a donkey. Keyhole. Donkey of the Day. The Breakfast Club, bitches. Now, I've been called a lot in my 24 years, but Donkey of the Day is a new one.

Yes. Donkey of the Day. Goes to CNN's chief legal analyst, Jeff Toobin. Jeff Toobin is also a renowned reporter for The New Yorker. Jeff Toobin is 60 years old, and he's been suspended by The New Yorker, and he's asked for some time off from CNN after doing this. Let's go to Fox News with Sean Hannity for the report, please. An unsettling incident involving CNN's chief legal analyst now off the air

for allegedly pleasuring himself on a Zoom video call. Jeffrey Toobin, who's also a staff writer for The New Yorker, was suspended by the magazine for masturbating during the call last week with other New Yorker employees and WNYC radio staff watching, according to Vice News, which reports the incident came during a drill for election coverage. Vice says when the groups returned from their breakout rooms, Toobin lowered the camera. The people on the call said they could see Toobin touching himself. Toobin then left the call. Moments later, he called back in,

seemingly unaware of what his colleagues had been able to see. New Yorker magazine told Fox News Jeffrey Toobin has been suspended while we investigate the matter. And in a statement to Motherboard, Toobin said, quote, I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake

believing I was off camera. I apologized to my wife, family, friends, and coworkers. I believed I was not visible on Zoom. I blame Zoom calls, bro. Zoom calls are mentally and emotionally exhausting. Zoom calls are stressful as hell and scratching Yoda behind the ears, tossing a little egg salad lowers blood pressure in stressful situations.

Now, I'm not making any excuses for Jeff Toobin. What he did was unprofessional and totally out of line. But one out of five Americans has an anger management problem. And Zoom calls make us all angry. OK, I have to do things to mentally, emotionally prepare myself for Zoom calls. Now, personally, I would have seasoned my meatloaf before I got on the Zoom, but not on the Zoom, okay? Like, I don't have a problem giving myself a helping hand, okay? You have to discover your own potential at times, but not on a business Zoom call, okay? I don't think any of us, male or female, can dispute the relaxing effects of turning

on the sprinklers, okay? Sometimes you got to find those clothes with Fred and Daphne and make Scooby do what he do. OK, listen to me. Masturbation fights depression. All right. Back to back Zoom calls are depressing. Sometimes you got to box the one eye champ to release that dopamine, to have the energy and strength to make it through a Zoom call.

But Jeff, not like this. Okay, you can't have a menage a moi on the Zoom, all right? Jeff, I have no problem with you making Pearl Jam, but it's a time and a place for everything, okay? And the Zoom on a business call is not the place. And why does your name, your last name, why does your last name sound like a euphemism for masturbation? Tubing?

Tubing sounds like something you would use to describe shaking hands with the milkman on the Zoom. And I'm sure during this pandemic, when people had to socially distance from their cut buddies, all those summer flings that didn't happen, you were away from your side chicks. I'm sure they were replaced with people playing five on one for some warm custard. But what do you call that? Okay. What do you call masturbation on the Zoom? The answer is Jeff's last name. Tubing. Okay. Masturbating on Zoom calls should absolutely be called tubing from here on out. All right. Tubing your meat on Zoom. Okay. Tubing the purple headed yogurt slinger on Zoom. Okay. Tubing, you meet on Zoom. OK, Toobin, the purple headed yogurt slinger on Zoom. OK, Toobin, the mayonnaise river on Zoom. Toobin, the hand puppet on Zoom. Listen, a lot of y'all judging Jeff for Toobin on Zoom.

But you, too, have met the goop man at midnight on Zoom. All right. Just not during a business call. All right. Now, back in November of 2019, Jeff Toobin was reacting to a New York Times report that Trump was briefed on the whistleblower complaint before releasing military aid to Ukraine. And Jeff's reaction to Trump is our reaction currently to him now. He got caught. Simple. Yes, he did get caught. Toobin for Tartar Sauce on Zoom.

Please give Jeff Toobin the sweet sounds and the hammer tones. Oh, now you are the donkey of the day. You are the donkey of the day. Yee-haw.

Yee-haw. Now, let the record show Angelina because you're not in studio Somebody in this room Alright mind you it's five men in here Somebody in this room That's like a party for you Earlier said what's wrong with that

When I was discussing this story When I was just throwing it around the room Who said that That person didn't say what's wrong with that. He says the suspension might be a little too far. Let me explain why.

All I heard was what's wrong with that. Because he didn't... I'm just saying because how do we know it wasn't on accident? He took a break from his Zoom call. He didn't know the camera was on. It's not like he was stroking his one-eyed monster live for people on Zoom saying, watch this, watch this, watch this. He might have paused it or he might have thought he was off for a second because he probably closed his laptop a little bit and said, hey, let me handle the one-eyed monster.

Then I get back to this meeting. There's absolutely no reason to be tubing for Tata Sauce on a business Zoom call. We also don't know if he did it on purpose or by accident. How do you not masturbate on purpose? Only he knows that for people to see.

First of all, what do you mean? When you say not on purpose, you mean masturbating? No, I mean for people to see. He might have done that. You know, some people are exhibitionists.

Some people get turned on by people watching them. But let's say it was an accident. Let's say he really just thought he was, you know, pushing the camera away from his junk and wanted to get a little one-eyed monster going before the next Zoom call. Can you stop saying one-eyed monster?

What do you want me to call it? He was buffing the vampire slayer, bro. Okay, it's a penis. You can say penis. I can't say buffing the vampire? Penis sounds way better. But you can't stroke. Sounds way better. You can stroke the one- can't say buffing the vampire? Penis sounds way better. But you can't stroke. Sounds way better.

You can stroke the one-eyed man. He was shuffling his iPod. The moral of the story is this, though. I think that this has been a common occurrence during the pandemic. I think it's a lot more people who have been, you know, Zoom accidents. Yeah, strangling their Cyclops on Zoom. We're going to call it tubing from now on.

I think it's a lot of tubing going on. All right, we got more coming up next. We're The Breakfast Club. Had enough of this country? Ever dreamt about starting your own? I planted the flag. This is mine. I own this.

It's surprisingly easy. 55 gallons of water, 500 pounds of concrete. Or maybe not. No country willingly gives up their territory. Oh, my God. What is that? Bullets. Listen to Escape from Zaka-stan.

That's Escape from Z-A-Q-a-stan. On the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. As a kid, I really do remember having these dreams and visions, but you just don't know what is going to come for you. Alicia shares her wisdom on growth, gratitude and the power of love. I forgive myself. It's OK. Have grace with yourself. You're trying your best and you're going to figure out the rhythm of this thing. Alicia Keys, like you've never heard her before. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey guys, I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, The Running Interview Show, where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast Post Run High is

all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. Listen to Post Run High on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.