The Breakfast Club - Best Of Full Interview: Dr. Cheyenne Bryant On Alpha Relationships, "High Value" Men, New Show + More

Episode Date: January 1, 2025

Best of 2024 - Recorded November 2024 - Dr. Cheyenne Bryant On Alpha Relationships, "High Value" Men, New Show. Listen For More!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Wake that ass up in the morning. The Breakfast Club. Morning, everybody. It's DEJ, Envy, Jess, Hilarious, Charlamagne, the guy. We are The Breakfast Club. Lorna Roses here as well. We got a special guest in the building. We have Dr. Cheyenne Bryant.

Hey. Welcome. Good morning. Good morning. What's up, Breakfast Club? Man, you are one of the people in the mental health space who's really using social media right. Right?

Because you've used it to elevate your platform and just elevate the conversation around mental health. Right, like you know, cause you've used it to elevate your platform and just elevate the conversation around mental health, so I applaud you on that. Yeah, thank you, I appreciate that. Yeah, I always say I didn't get into this field to become a celebrity, but God has his own plans, right? So I, literally in my masters and my doctorate program, I remember my professor saying,

everyone who's gonna get licensed, raise your hand. I didn't raise my hand, everybody else did. And he's like, Doc, you going, you know what Cheyenne at that time, you going through all this and not get licensed? I'm like, no. Because I'm gonna be on a platform where I'm able to change lives.

Didn't think that it ended up being a platform where, to this magnitude one, and then to the place where literally I didn't want it, the whole celebrity status and lifestyle. And not that I'm saying I don't want it now and I don't like it, it's just, this is not where I expected it to go. But again, if God needs to use a celebrities,

and I said it at your mental health, a mental wealth expo, you know, whether the celebrity status brings me the naysayers or the sayers, whatever it brings, as long as they can get a tip or two that gives them a better quality of life and helps them become better mentally, then run the play.

I'm good with it. It is what it is. How does that impact though, like you do work in mental health, but there's a lot of, like the naysayers are so loud. How does that impact you mental health wise and like what's your work through?

Cause it's there, especially with that, when the Kim interview came out, they were, people were upset about it. Some people agree, but you know, how do you as a person in that space

deal with all of that pushback? This is the thing, sis, I grew up a little girl in the inner city in the hood. I grew up to two teenage parents. My mom was addicted to the drug that my father sold. I'm a product of a street dude, a straight gangster, who turned into being a good family man. My mom is now sober, for the record.

And so I say all that to say that when you grow up in a certain type of adversity, loud noise, that's against the grain of what you're doing. It's not loud noise, you know, it's a norm. And that's why the Bible says it's good for me that I was afflicted. Because when you have those afflictions, they are preparing you for a time like this.

That you have to stand in a leadership role, and leadership comes with pressure. It comes with commitment, it comes with character. And so when you have naysayers who are applying pressure, then that's when you show if you a pipe or if you a diamond. But I already knew from the trenches that I was a diamond. So I wasn't worried about coming into this space with somebody having a problem with what I'm doing,

and I'm in my intent, I'm in my purpose, and I'm vertical in who I am, it don't matter to me because I'm running my own place. So I'm not sitting up there as a quarterback being Brady waiting for a moss. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good.

I'm good. I'm good. I'm gonna make all my receivers better. I'm starting early. Okay, just put somebody out there. We gonna win. Put someone out there. That's just what it is, you know?

So when you're vertical in who you are, you're not really worried about what is gonna show up to catch the catch. You know, your job is to throw, and then the receiver's job is to do what? To catch. And so the quarterback don't throw and go, Jess, catch, you better do it, Jess, hands up.

The quarterback throws and he like, all right, I know I did it, 10 up and slant over. And that's it, and it's a celebration. If you're in there, if not, we run the play back again. Until we do it. And that's just what life's about. Now you talked about your calling, so when it comes to your calling, what is your calling?

What are you specialized in? Is it relationships, is it dealing with people's problems? Is it just listening? What is your specialty when it comes to it? And what's your calling? I love that. So I started off as a marriage family and child therapist and I tell God, I said, listen,

I'm a little girl from the hood. You know where I come from. Don't put me in the hood and don't put me with court order DCF kids. Not that I had a problem with them. I didn't want to be triggered dealing with them. And I didn't want to have to deal with what I came from. I wasn't in the system,

but I came from that type of adversity. And the first place God put me was off of Hardell and Slauson, I don't know if y'all are familiar with LA, but a block away from Slauson swap me in the hood. And every one of my clients were court order, DCFS, Department of Family and Child Services. We had moms in there who were pregnant, still hitting the pipe. Asking me, can I sign off on the documents

so they can get their kids back? Because I was predicated on their reunification with their kids. And so, started off as doing that. When I got my doctorate, I transitioned to a psychology expert, life coach, so that my hands wouldn't be tied behind my back. Because when I was a therapist working for a non-profit under a license, the protocol just with the BBS law,

and you're very familiar with mental health and therapy, there's so many things that you cannot do based on ethics and law that in my opinion, it negates and it really takes away from the real therapeutic experience. So for example, I had a young lady come in and she had experienced sexual abuse. Her mother was allowing men to pay her to have sex with her daughter at 13, all the way from age 8 to 16.

The last time the guy came in, he put her on the burners, the stove burners, and had his way with her. For that young lady, thank God, that was the last straw for her. So she ends up in my office and we're talking and she's telling me her story and I'm starting to become triggered because it's triggering my sexual abuse past.

And so long story short, after one of our sessions, I get up and she's in tears and she's telling her story and I go to hug her and she's like, no, no, no, don't touch me because that's not something that she's in a place to handle at that time, no problem. Eight months go by, she has to then be transferred out. She's like, all right, I wasn't Dr. Brian,

then I was Cheyenne. She's like, Miss Cheyenne, thank you for everything. I'm like, okay. And she goes, oh, by the way, I'm ready for that hug. Everything in me, everything in me, DJ Envy, was just like, everything was just like, oh. Yeah. And so not only did I hug her,

but I think I broke the BBS laws, because I hugged that poor baby, I kissed all over her. Yeah. But you're not supposed to do that. You're still human though. You're not supposed to, but you're still human. And so my specialty then was marriage, family, and child therapy. So that is my foundation. So now that I am a psychology expert life coach, I'm still human, and so my specialty then was marriage, family, and child therapy.

So that is my foundation. So now that I am a psychology expert life coach, I can't get rid of that because that's my foundation. I do psycho dynamic CBT, but I couple it, which is my hybrid approach, with coaching. So it's therapy and coaching, which is hybrid, and I say this without humility, that's why I'm so effective. Because therapy is tell me more.

Let me hear about your trauma, your daddy issues, your mom issues. Why are you who you are? And then once you're finished dealing with that and you process that, okay DJ Envy, where the hell you going from there? I do have one other question when it comes to the therapy aspect. I'm sure the world has been watching

the Mendes Brothers, right? And I had a question, right? So the Mendes Brothers, if you don't know, they confessed their crime to the therapist. And they believed that the therapist could not tell police officers because it was, I guess, patient client privilege. But they did.

So does that mean anything that I tell a therapist or that anybody tells a therapist can and can possibly be used against them in the court of law? 100%. So a therapist is only under confidential oath unless you are threatening to kill yourself and someone else and it can't just be a threat. It has to be you actually have like a action plan to do so.

You can't just come to me and say, hey doc, look, I wanna kill myself. I will help you process through that and hopefully talk you off the ledge. But if you say, I got a plan at 9 p.m., I'm leaving the house, I'm gonna do X, Y, and Z to my wife, then I have a duty to report if I'm subpoenaed to court. I have to speak on that.

I have to. Now if I did a crime and I'm talking to you about the crime because it's eating me up, you're not supposed to tell law enforcement. If I already killed somebody, I already did the crime already. No. Even if it's a murder? Only unless that therapist is subpoenaed. Oh, gotcha. If I already killed somebody, I already did the crime already. No. Even if it's a murder?

Only unless that therapist is subpoenaed. Oh, gotcha. That medical professional. Oh, so the fact that he was subpoenaed. That's it. Oh, okay. When it comes to subpoenaing in the court and the justice system, their law oversees everything.

It just does. When it comes to your confidentiality as client privilege, there's nothing that I can say outside. Can you reach out to the court and say subpoena me? I need to be subpoenaed. I need to be subpoenaed. Subpoena me. I need to be subpoenaed. I would never, I personally would never do that

just because I believe in following the oath of, and maybe I just love and respect my clients too much, but if you came to me and said something, I'm just not. And I know this is smaller than murder, but I've had married couples who come separately and together. And the husband is just lighting it up in his individual sessions.

Like, I'm cheating, I'm into me with this person and that person, his family members, it's this, and I'm having to just make sure I process my countertransference because I'm sitting there like, damn, and I have her in one hour. I have her in one hour. God. Now of course if it was like my girlfriend,

I'd be like, bitch! You might take your girlfriend though right? My girlfriend, my best friend couldn't be, that's a conflict. She could never come to me as a psychology expert. But then I'd be ripping into him. Talk to me from the human perspective, because you're still a real nigga at the end of the day. So when you hear stuff like that, when you hear the guy come in one hour, he doing X, Y, Z, then the woman coming in X, Y, Z, what is going through your mind about the dude? Charlamagne, my clients are watching this interview.

My clients gonna be like, doc, that's what you really feel. But, you know, in my mind, honestly, what I try to do, and some of my clients have followed this guidance. I have one client now, he's married and the wife is attempting to divorce him, and she's divorcing him because he cheated, but she doesn't have any hard facts on him. So I've actually been able to process with him whether you're gonna be with this woman or not,

if you wanna be with her, or you wanna be able to leave and do better, at some point you gotta be able to be real with yourself and real with her and you gotta be transparent. When do you plan on doing that? So he just literally this week, or last week, because this week he told me, Doc, I sat with her and I told her

that it's been a few times that I did cheat. And I said, how does she respond? He said, she said, now we can have a conversation because now you keeping it real. And when I had her in session, she said, now we can have a conversation because now you keeping it real. And when I had her in session, I said, listen. Triggered. Triggered, right? Yeah.

But I told her, I said, look, you have two options. I said, either, you know, I can, if you're willing to learn to love a dog, we can start that process because, you know, or we can start the process of you leaving and starting over. And she goes, what do you mean by dog? She said, but we've been together for 10 years,

he's never cheated the first time. I said, no, no, baby. I said, he's been quiet for 10 years. He decided to bark on your number 10. Jesus Christ. So you don't think that he could change in that marriage and not cheat anymore? First of all, nobody changes, including me.

We shift and that changes our life. And when I say we shift, we shift out of the things and behaviors that don't serve us after we learn, they're not working. And then we have to learn to manage those. So I am very firecrackery. When I was younger, I was very temperamental. I was very, you know, who the fuck you talking to real quick?

I just, because of my trauma, because of things, I just had a very protective, by all means necessary, I'm the oldest of seven, so I was, you know, I light this place up. Is that still in me after all of my healing? Hell yeah. Do I manage it? Absolutely.

Managing it just means that I'm high function, I'm able to regulate my emotions, right? Identify my emotions, don't get into my feelings because emotions are healthy, feelings cause problems. And I can just say, okay, identify that I'm angry, I'm frustrated, so now let me choose my response. Before I was low functioning, once I felt it I was triggered,

and everybody here was going no, and it was gonna be a problem. So does that still come up? Yeah, but do I have self-talk that says, we not doing that. So you don't think people can change, you just feel like they change. We manage ourself well, we're not doing that. So you don't think people can change, you just feel like they change. We manage ourself well.

We manage ourself well. So a man who's a womanizer, he is always a womanizer. It's just how well can he discipline or manage his womanizing appetite, his womanizing actions, his womanizing desires. Can he manage his environment? Can he be in a room full of women and not womanize and not cheat and not step out and not have infidelity issues?

We like what we like. We are who we are. So you would never date a man that cheated before because you feel like he will always be a cheater? Is that what you're saying? I think that's also circumstantial. So I do believe that different relationships bring out different things in us. I was also an extreme alpha in my first engagement.

I had two engagements, caught up two weddings. My first relationship that I was engaged to, I was extreme alpha. So even if he tried to be alpha, I left no space. It was like, hell no, by all means necessary because I said, so you can walk. Like I'm chasing my career, I know my value, I'm not fatherless, I got a daddy, he spoils me, good day.

So even in that, do you feel like that he wasn't man enough for you? Or like what was that, do you think that's your fault? Do you look back and be like, ugh, I was trying to be the man, not trying to be the man, but I actually, I gave him, because you just said you gave no room for him to do it, so do you regret that part of it?

I think that's a duality. I think he chose a woman who was alpha because it fed something in him that was beta. I chose a man who was beta because my alpha needed to be inflamed. But my second engagement, he was alpha. That's why I say circumstantial. But not only was he alpha, I was ready.

I had these submissive fills in me already, so by the time we got in a relationship, I was a hybrid by then. I was alpha submissive fills in me already, so by the time we got in a relationship, I was a hybrid by then, I was alpha submissive. So I was cooking, he was daddy, I was soft, I was in my feminine, and the blessing of that is, I got to experience both, and I learned that I fell more in love with myself in my softness than he probably did.

Like I was doing shit where I'm like, ooh, girl. Like I was turned on by me, I was like, ooh, girl. I was turned on by me. I was like, ooh, sis. That's me right now. Even in the bedroom, things that I was like, no I'm not, when I was in my outfit, absolutely not. I was like, can we do that thing again? That thing.

I wanna look at y'all, y'all married. Can we do that thing again? Like that thing I said I wanna do that thing. So you submit more. Submit. Yeah. Y'all have to do that too. But also, right, but also plays a role in the position. Like that thing I said I want to do that. You said submit. Yeah. I do that too.

But also, but right, but also plays a role in the position. What you want to say? What you doing? What's that thing? What's that thing? No, because I'm not going to front when you said that I kept thinking of his story. Of what? It was Gilly telling me the story about, never mind.

Gilly the King was telling me a story about something that was in Ken Porter's book and how did he talk about Ken Porter do that thing again and it was getting packed in the butt I just knew it was something good something in the butt so you don't feel men can I'm not answering the butt question

you don't think men can change though like you know maturity because you know a lot of times yeah I'm stuck on that too because a lot of times you stuck in the butt what? she's not seeing that your kid changed I. I was saying because sometimes you're immature and you don't know, right? And I think you can grow out of things where you are mature, not just being a womanizer or being insecure. Some of those things you grow out of

because you learn differently. And some of the things that you follow is because of society teaches you other than what you should be doing. If you understand what I'm saying. So when I was a child, I thought as a child, now that I'm a man, I think as a man, right? That's what the Bible says.

So do I think that we can mature out of things? Yes, but maturity takes work. It takes awareness and sense of self. So how many of us are really getting that if we're in the same environments, the same relationships, or we're dating different people with the same spirit? So the same spirit's gonna activate the same things in you.

You want different, there has to be a different circumstance, a different activation. I went from a beta to an alpha, and I was receptive to being with an alpha. So that's why I was able to be activated in my feminine. I wouldn't choose a beta now, I'd want an alpha man, but I also hold space for an alpha man. You couldn't be with a woman who is high functioning

and be a womanizer. She ain't holding space for you. You can prey on a low functioning woman because she holds space, too much space for a low functioning man who wants to prey on her. But if you were to say, you know what, I wanna shift up my ways, you would also have to shift and choose a woman who won't tolerate that

because she will hold you accountable when you're in a space that don't work for her. That's right. Does that make sense? So you can't shift and be in the same environment. It doesn't work like that. But let's say a man is insecure and he's insecure when he's 16, 17, 18, right?

Because he doesn't know the world. Or a man follows the likeness of, for instance, hip hop. Because hip hop influences so much of us, and a lot of us were grown from it, whether it was what we did, what we spoke about, carrying guns, selling drugs, being womanized, whatever that may be. Men can change is what you're saying.

I feel like what you're saying is true, but I feel like I would say shifts lead to actual change. That's what I'm saying. Absolutely. So I'm not saying, listen, we're not Jesus. We're not turning water to wine. I've said that on the Cam Newton episode, and I stand by that.

So you're not gonna change. You're not gonna switch up and tomorrow be a six, five chocolate mad. You don't know what identifies. Listen, I'm self-projected, because that's what I'm attracted to, but I'm back. But can you shift? Shifts will change you, your world.

You don't change, you shift. So what happens is that insecure boy grows up to be a man who shifts things in him and his environment changes, and so does he feel his insecurity and flame way less? Absolutely. But will there be moments where your little boy arises in you

because you're triggered? That's life. And when that happens, if it's once a year or once every five years, you have to have the effective tools to manage that little boy. Or he will sabotage, or he will go cheat. And that's how you say he ain't cheated in 10 years, but he barked on your number 10.

I agree with that wholeheartedly. The way it was worded the first time, I was like, I think man can change, but I get what you said. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah, people can shift. And that wholeheartedly. The way it was worded the first time, I was like, I think men can change, but I get what you said. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah, people can shift and that creates a change, but we don't wake up and we're like, pssh, we're totally different.

So the interview with Cam and also, I saw that you sat down with Nick. How did that, how did, did the firecracker in you be like, I need to sit down with them? How did you get them in the room? How did you do those two interviews? Did they reach out to you or did you reach out to them? So Nick reached out to me and said,

Doc, what's up? Like, I want to work through something. But I want to work through it on camera. And I said, OK, no problem. But I'm going to penetrate. So we're not doing this on camera. I know that's right, penetrate. Yo.

You didn't do it. These crazy words. The thing that triggered you is crazy. So when you. So he like penetration. Nick. Little thing you do. Little thing you do.

Right. Because Nick always goes, Doc, do you have to use that word? I'm like, yeah, I am. I'm penetrating you at the space that obviously is broken. Yeah. And that dysfunctional toxin. I'm sorry, we childish. I'm sorry.

You need to grow up. You need to grow up too. See, see. See that dysfunctional autotoxin. I'm sorry, we childish. I'm sorry. You need to grow up. You need to grow up too. See, see, see, see men just don't change. Nope, nope. Like you to your point. Look at her. To my point.

They gave me a 12 year old girl right now. The little boy. The little boy. It's definitely present. Definitely present. Sorry. So when he says, all right, I need to work through some things, you're like, okay, on camera. some things you're like okay on camera does that then in your mind say hmm is

this for real for real or do you want to appeal to a certain market you know to a certain audience you know I'm saying cuz you know we're in the in the times now where everything has to be recorded what didn't happen or you know that's just how people look or how people feel. But does that make it a little phony to you? Cause I couldn't find another word other than phony. Great observation. I didn't look at it like that because I look at it like I have a job to do and a purpose to serve.

So whether we have one camera or 10, you gonna get this work. And so they may have done it, and I'm not saying they did, they may have done it from an entertainment perspective, but as we see, more than entertainment came out of it. Because your intention will always be what ends up being the end result for you. And so my intent was to use Nick's situation

and shift a whole culture of black men saying what can, and it happened. There were a lot of naysayers, but a culture of black men saying what Cam, and it happened. There were a lot of naysayers, but a lot of black men were actually in there creating the virulence and saying, listen, Doc is right, we need to create more husbands and less baby daddies. Black men were like, I'm 26,

I got three kids by three different women, and she's right, this ain't it, man. We gotta do different. That was my intent, and my intent is what manifested. So, and Nick as well, Cam was resistant, but Cam had to answer a lot of questions in his household. Cam had a lot of stuff, he had a lot of different conversations he had to have with that woman.

Whether she wants to come out on social media and wear the mask she's been wearing, that mask is off at home. Cam had to answer questions. That created a lot of conflict. Conflict is needed for resolve and for shift and change. And so yeah, entertainment or not, I wanted to make sure that what happened happened,

that the conversation is now being had everywhere, that it is time for our community to do things differently. And if you have already created broken houses and homes, you're not doomed, but you need to stop. It's a time to stop. Like we're not here to create broken houses, and now you're projecting your daddy issues and mommy issues as a man onto an entire generation.

It has to now grow up to figure out what the hell is the root of their issue, and how do they not sabotage, and how do they do this thing differently? You know? Yeah, I saw Cam say that it affected his relationship with his first two baby moms and his current situation. You feel any remorse for that?

No, because I'm here to interrupt that pattern. No, like the shit should have been interrupted a long time ago. A long time ago, yeah. You know Cam, and you come from, and not that this breeds good decision making people, but Cam comes from, he's a pastor's child. He comes from two parents that are still married

and they're still, they're pastors, very much involved with the church. That goes to show you, like the Bible said, it was good for me that I was afflicted. Because you got people who come from brokenness, this is why I said these kids are not doomed, who make different decisions, because it's not about where, a lot of times it's not where you going they get you,

where you going, it's where you trying to get the hell away from. And a lot of times parents, yeah, like I was telling Ray J this, Ray J's my client as well. And leave my boy alone, leave Ray. I was telling Ray, I said, Ray, I love your parents. And, but they showed you everything to do right. They didn't show you what not to do.

And see, for me, I had a circumstance, an environment that showed me everything to do right. They didn't show you what not to do. And see, for me, I had a circumstance, an environment that showed me everything not to do. So sometimes, knowing what not to do saves you from doing the wrong shit. It's not about having a perfect household. It's about having a blended, balanced household that says, listen, this is what you can do

to get you this, this is what you shouldn't do. And when you come from a lot of pastor kids and these folks who come in from these really perfect households or perfect marriages that have a lot of infidelity, a lot of brokenness in them, these folks, these kids learn how to master life as well and they learn how to overcompensate

for what they're missing in broken houses, in womanizing or manizing ways, and that becomes an issue. And then they just becomes a dysfunctional pattern where they keep creating this, they get comfortable in dysfunction and say I'm thriving here. No, you're not, you've learned to survive. And you're teaching everybody else who you are creating

or procreating how to survive. How, go ahead. I was just gonna ask, how do you deal with your other clients if you have Ray J? Yeah, who do you talk to after you talk to Ray J? Do you have a therapist? I do. Oh yeah. I have that.

I have wise counsel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a nice group, a nice really healthy ecosystem of people who are in, you know, counselors and coaches and who are not. And I use them. Does this, like, so with the Cam situation, is in there like a follow-up conversation with him? And like he wants to work through more stuff now off camera

because like it, I'm sure, triggered a lot for him as well too when those additional conversations had to happen. Or did he block your number? Or like is he, you know what I mean, like what happens after that? We see it on the internet and it goes crazy. Yeah. Baby mom's a girlfriend, all the fallout,

there's been recent fallout too with him talking about her, Jazz, not being the only woman that he's slept with in a relationship. And so there's things coming out now. Does he hit you up and say, hey, I want to do some more work or I want to have a conversation or he's like, nah. He's, he hasn't hit me up to say yes,

but he's definitely not like, nah. Okay. But I, who I would love to have a conversation with whether it can, whether it's definitely not like not. Okay. But who I would love to have a conversation with, whether it's on camera or not, not just to more support her in whatever she's doing right now or feeling or going through is Jazz. Yeah. I would love to have a conversation with Jazz,

even if it's a private session. I think that she needs tools on how to be in this relationship if she's gonna stay. And if she chooses to leave, she needs tools on how to also pivot that. And it's not about having a conversation with her or having a session with her to get her to change her mind. It's about getting her to feel supported

and showing compassion. And trying to figure out where she wants to navigate from here. And see, that's the thing because I don't know if you saw months ago or this may have been before she was pregnant, I saw this. She's happy with, or you know, with everything that's going on,

you know, how she's okay with that. So if she understands and she is willing and she's like, okay, I'm all in, I'm abiding by every rule that you have, then what the hell you gonna talk to her about? You know what I'm saying? Like how can, cause even as a woman watching that, right, I didn't know who she was with yet until it came out and then I was like oh damn oh right so that's how you feel about him and that's my man's

and that's my girl but I'm just like damn how strong the strongest back that I've ever I give my head off to her for dealing with that whole dynamic, but what can you say to her that'll change how happy she is with this? I think it's helping her come to herself. And I think that Jazz got herself into something that, one, she didn't understand, and she was getting herself into, and I think she would love to into something that, one, she didn't understand, that she was getting herself into, and I think she would love to back paddle if she could.

But where do you go from here? You have a child. A lot of women, especially black women, stay because they don't want to be a product of a broken house. And they don't wanna be a single mom. Who wants to be a statistic? Who wants to be that?

And so for her, I understand why she would want to stay to make it work. But I also would understand why she wants to leave to do it right. And it's not because he has kids, it's because this man is not honoring you. He's disrespecting you. And he's not only doing it privately, he's doing it publicly. He's not even allowing it to be pillow top. So it's like, and that's what I mean by the epitome of a high valued man in the most low functioning

functionality you can have. Like you have no respect at all for this woman who you not only have a child with, but you are in a relationship with. You're waiting for God to give you more kids, you have a woman at home. You're waiting for God to give you more kids. You have a woman at home. You're sleeping with other women publicly on your platform for this woman to feel how.

All you're doing is self-projecting your brokenness and your pain on this woman and all of these eight kids and these three other women. You are procreating broken houses, and let me go further. He also has a broken home with her, because a broken house and a broken home are two different things. So you have both. A broken house is just a single family home.

It could be one mama, one daddy, or for people who have partners, it could be one partner in the house. That means just there's one person. A broken home is you got a two-party household. The home is so impaired it can't even function at a level of healthiness. Cam has both.

And he knows that. And he's trying to figure out how he front back side pedals. But this is the deal. You know, and I said this to him jokingly and I wasn't pun intended but it was, like I told him, I said, I said Cam before we did even, I said Cam you about to throw picks this entire interview.

Just like you did when you was playing. I said you took him to a Super Bowl but you couldn't get the ring. And he just looked and he said, no. But to backtrack real quick, Cam reached out to me. I wouldn't pay you if you told me that before the interview. Yeah, that's brutal.

I'm saying it. I'm leaving. They go off. But did I catch the picks or not? From what I saw, yeah. You caught the picks, right? Definitely did. But my point is Cam reached out to me because Ego,

he seen me in Nick Cannon's interview, and he said Nick was too soft. Do my interview. It's not gonna be that same smoke. And so I said, sign me up when, I fly out tomorrow. He said, oh, okay, like that. I said, 100%, I'm ready. And so when it happened,

I think Cam's edge was to throw me off and to see if he can challenge me and more dominate the conversation. My intent was to bring healing and awareness. And he got that. Do you ever tell women to leave when you're dealing, when you're talking to women or men, do you ever tell them to leave? Because I know a lot of times,

therapists won't tell somebody to leave. And if somebody is still in a relationship, whether it's domestic violence, whether it's a womanized, or whether it's something that's negative, do you feel like if a woman stays, she's weak? I don't think she's weak. I think she has a lot of underlining issues that need to be processed.

And I think she doesn't have awareness of what those are. And what that relationship is feeding are the underlining issues. And she's staying because she needs those to be fed. And if she leaves, what's fed if she doesn't have any awareness of her healthiness? See, what we know is what feeds us. We all set up feeding stations and we go and feed on things that we have awareness of, which is a lot of times our trauma, our dysfunction, or our survival mechanism.

And so I never tell them to leave, but I do help them either say this is what the work is gonna take to stay, and this is what it looks like for you to leave. What do you wanna do? So you don't feel like if a man stays or a woman stays, they are weak, whatever their relationship. You don't feel that way.

You feel like people can get through certain things, whether it's domestic violence, whether it's abuse, whether it's cheating, whatever it may be. I think that people can get through it if they're willing to reinvent. So marriage isn't something that always has to be dissolved. Sometimes it can be recreated and reinvented if two people are open to that.

And I say that because I'm not married yet, I look forward to being married and being a mother, but I'm not divorcing my husband. And so it very well could be where, you know, shoot, the social media, hopefully not, goes off on doc one day and says, hey, what you was preaching, what's up, what you doing now, hopefully not,

but I'm saying that I'm not leaving my husband. That's right. What do you say to people that say, how do you give advice on marriages and marriage couples when you're not married? What do you say to those people? I love that. I say that I don't want to hear you being together 15 years with miserable 13. I'd rather take advice from a single woman or man who's happy, thriving, successful,

meaning in their joy, not just in their monetary value. Then someone who is miserable in their marriage with a side dude and a side chick, and you wanna give me the advice that you give yourself that you use in your failed marriage, I'll pass. I'll pass, I'll pass. And what happens is married people like to shun on single folks. The Bible also says single people are happy people.

Look that up. Look that up. It says marriage takes discipline. No, it says marriage takes discipline. No, it says marriage takes discipline. And listen. A lot of times they say that you reach out to older couples that's been married longer because they'll tell you how to deal with the marriage

than people, you know, like some people say don't hang out with your single friends. You talk to married couples that's been in that situation longer. And you know why that's true? Because folks have been married 10, 15, 20 years, they've been through the trenches. So they're not gonna teach you how to be happy.

We got that single, sis, we got that. I've had that all my life. They're gonna teach you how to get through the times when you ain't happy. Y'all married, you know that, let's not play this game. You married, you know that. You got, of course, I think marriage is beautiful, it's poppin', it's where everybody wants to land.

Why would you not want a partnership and a companion your go to? But that shit comes with work. The Bible says marriage is for disciplined people. Discipline. I'm single, I don't have to be disciplined. Even though I am, I don't have to be in that space. You think people get married too early?

I think people choose the wrong people. I think people choose their fairytale ideology. They're not choosing the person. See, people are choosing marriage and not a husband. They're choosing marriage and not a wife. And so when you're choosing marriage, you get the title, you get the looks of it, but you're not getting a person. So you're a beautiful house who's homeless.

They like the idea of the house. The idea, the idea. And those are people who are fatherless, sometimes motherless, who just need something to be a part of. I just need this companionship. I want the title. I don't feel valued, I don't feel validated.

So because we're married, I got somebody who's checking for me, I got somebody who can get me through the day. But you gotta be able to check. Even in marriage, I was engaged for 10 years, you know, because I kept calling it off, calling it off, and he was like, you keep getting these degrees, you keep saying, wait for the next degree

before you get married. And by the time I went and got my doctor, he keep getting these degrees, you keep saying wait for the next degree before you get married. And by the time I went and got my doctor, he's like, baby, you done got four degrees. I ain't waiting no more. Engage for 10 years? I can't putting it off because I knew that that wasn't my person. I was gonna say, I had the left-field ass.

You said you knew he wasn't your person? And I end up leaving him, you know, unfortunate for him, great guy. You've been alone for 10 years? 10 years? And she said he was a great guy. Great guy, he was a great guy, he just wasn't my guy, right? And so. For 10 years, he thought he, great guy. So you've been with him for 10 years? 10 years? And she said he was a great guy. Great guy, he was a great guy, he just wasn't my guy, right?

And so. For 10 years he thought he was the guy. You've been with him for 10 years, why you ain't let him go be great with somebody else that would appreciate him and love him? Yeah, I know I'm about to jump on me. She ain't want her in scaling. All right, let me say this,

I love that question, I love that question. So I'm not saying for 10 years I knew he wasn't the one. When we got about year number five or six and I seen that, his work ethic and his ability to provide at the level that I wanted our family to be at, I knew that he wasn't mine, my guy. And when I say provide, I'm not talking about like, he was making six figures and I was like,

now make millions. I'm saying his thing was, baby I'm cool with me, you a dog in a one bedroom apartment. And just no work ethic at all. So for the first six years I thought, well I'm out here getting it, I have a legal company, I own property, I'm only 22, I'm getting all these college degrees,

how can he not be inspired by me? See that's that age appropriate young woman, he got potential, let me stay. That's why people should take their time. But when I seen you number seven and eight, this guy was the same guy who was, you know, I hate talking, because he's such a good guy, I always protect him when I talk about him,

but where he was lazy and had no work ethic, I had a pivot, I had a pivot. And I had a man I feel you wanted. Well he didn't have the work ethic that you wanted, because he worked, right? But he just didn't. He was comfortable. He was comfortable.

Was he a rapper? Your ideas were different. Was he a rapper? At some point he just decided to not work at all. He rapped? He wasn't a rapper. Oh, okay, he stopped like that. all? No, he wasn't a rapper. Not just that, he had a mix-aid.

He started off in pharmaceutical sales, a very educated young man. Went to BYU, D1 college, did his thing. Very much like the boy next door, mixed kid. And so it was all really good. Came from a really amazing family. Parents still married, I think they're on like 45 years. You just wanted more.

I wanted more and if he would've said, we can have more and grow, I would've rolled with him. But when he said, I don't want anymore and I'm cool with this, it goes to your question. Then I had to choose what I was choosing. I was choosing a man. I wasn't choosing marriage. I didn't grow up the little girl that wanted

marriage in this white picket fence. I wasn't choosing marriage. I didn't grow up the little girl that wanted marriage in this white picket fence. I wanted, just to be honest, I wanted money and power to change a trajectory of a community. I wanted a platform to be able to shift people so they have a better life, so they can take their pain like I did and find some pieces out of it and make peace from their broken pieces.

So I never grew up thinking, and I also had a father. I had a daddy who doted on me. I'm a product of a street dude. And if anyone knows a street dude the way they love their daughters when they're involved, you're a god. You're a princess. You're a goddess to them.

You're a princess. I mean, I didn't have man problems like that. And so I wasn't looking for a man outside to come validate me. So when I get in relationships till to this day, I'm still choosing the man. Did he acquire more in the future? No, he's still in the same place.

So I made the right decision. What was the conversation, that last conversation y'all had when you decided to leave him and how did he react? You can have the dog, that's what you said. Oh my God. Keep the dog, you told him keep the dog? No, he was in tears and I was in tears.

We were sitting there crying and he said, I knew it, I was a buffer for you. He and I was in tears. We were sitting there crying, and he said, I knew it, I was a buffer for you. He said I was a buffer for you, he said I just knew it. And he said, you're with me because you're too insecure to be with who you really wanna be with. The type of guy, not a particular guy, but type of guy. Was he right? 100% right.

I said, you're right, you're right. And as years went on, that was some of the best advice that I was able to acquire because I was able to work on myself. And he was right because the type of man that I now date with that alphaness, with that leadership, the space that he needs so he can even be with me, right, is a different type of space, a different type of woman.

So I had to shift, not change, shift a lot of things in me that had to do with insecurity. Because my mom being in her addiction, creating abandonment in me, I had attachment anxiety. And so, in order to have a man who's doing well, who's successful, and he's in his alpha, the healthy alpha, that man is moving in groove

and he's doing certain things. He don't have time for a woman with no damn attachment anxiety. Meaning when he's making moves to better this household, when he's making moves to better this family, I gotta be able to be solid and vertical with myself and who I am and hold the house down. I can't be insecure when he's traveling

or doing things already, he's not right up under me. I had to work through that attachment anxiety. Does that? Hold on, I got a couple of questions, right? Like one, I wanna know what is your definition of a high value man. That's number one. And then two, what you said about attachment anxiety.

Is it okay for the woman to feel insecure if she knows this man ain't really out here doing- Oh, 100%. Business, he out here really- That's called discernment. Okay, all right. Yeah, call him out on that. And I mean, transparency.

What's up, I'm feeling some type of way. What's going on? What are you doing? I'm feeling this way. And I just's going on? What are you doing? I'm feeling this way. And I just think two respectful people who are choosing each other and not just the relationship are gonna have those conversations. And that's what those older couples

who've been married 20, 30 years is teaching you how you have those conversations. And baby, when your man tell you he out here turning corners, he not really turning bills, how do you stick to that? How do you stay without losing your dignity? How do you still be submit to this man, cooking and cleaning and having sex,

making love to this man without being disgusted at the fact that he's either stepped out emotionally, physically or mentally? How do you keep that? How do you keep going? I was going to act, that was going to be my question too. That's what the older folks say. They don't tell you how to be happy.

And they telling you how to roll through and stick through some shit. That's what they teaching you. Well, my grandpa was like, leave that bitch. You don't wanna tell my brother that. Yeah, cause he, that's how I be like back in the day. That he was still with, you know, my grandma,

but he just still was just like, man, like leave that bitch now because I would have left this bitch back in the day. But then you wouldn't have me. I've been grandpa cause I've been leaving. But now I say I'm in my choosing stage and I'm really looking forward to staying, but it will be my first time utilizing

a lot of my new tools, not new meaning a year ago, but new because I've been single six years of this attachment anxiety I've had to work through of what that looks like. So there's going to be things in me that are new that inflame and trigger that I'm going to have to have a hell of a man

who's mature enough, emotionally intelligent enough to sit through certain conversations with me that are gonna be transparent. So what is a high value man? Because I heard you reference Cam as a high value man with a low value, I guess, just a low vibration. Low functioning. Low functioning.

Very low functioning. So what is your definition of high value? Because to me it just sounds like high value to you is superficial stuff. High value just means that you're, yeah, it's pretty much like you're making a lot of money. You have a lot of tangible things, you're high value. Your value is high.

Your value is high and your monetary value, your value is high, meaning you got a man who's making 100 million dollars, then he's high valued and women who are superficial, but I'm not knocking y'all, sis, okay, are very attracted to that. But again, are they choosing the man? Or are they choosing the value?

The value. But some people are so poor, all they got is money. And so is... You know what I mean? And that goes to where this is gonna be a very, very unpopular opinion or very popular, but it's gonna cause a lot of controversy. I always say if you realize

the most prettiest, beautiful women, many of them, men have put a baby in them but ain't made a wife out of them. And I go to the high value men have put babies in them but ain't made a wife out of them. Because those women are choosing the value in them and those men are choosing the low functionality in her. So that's a match made in heaven for them. Even though the fairy tale ends at some point.

And everybody goes back to the drawing board and comes into my session and says, because I can't name, I have some very, very A-list celebrity women who come in and say, I'm beautiful, I'm successful, I can have any man I want. I'm lonely as hell. And I'm afraid that I'm a guy alone. Yeah.

But you have a child. You've been married to this A-list, A-list big NBA player, and the relationship is now over, and you feel like you gonna be alone? Because you never learned to choose anything of substance. So you will hollow the whole time. So you're not afraid of being alone physically, you're afraid of being alone emotionally,

because you've been alone this whole time. So you don't even have a relationship with yourself. So who you really don't want to be with is you. Because being alone is about being with you. So why should we call those brothers high value then? Because value, based on how I define it, is just money. Like I'm a high valued woman. I have a multi-million dollar home.

I come from the hood. I went from the hood to the hills, but I've accumulated a lot of value. I drive luxury cars, I have a certain lifestyle, but I would be low functioning if I prayed on men that I know I can use. If I prayed on men that I know I can say, eat sleep and poop me and shut up,

I'll go run a mug, be in your beta, because I said so. That's low functioning of me. High value and high functioning would be, now I want a man who can stand on, he's vertical, because every human being is a hybrid. We're all high functioning and low functioning. So there's gonna be moments where I get in my low functioning.

And if I get in my low functioning and I start to say things that are emasculating to you, I don't want a low functioning man. I want you to say, baby, I don't talk to you like that. And I don't like when you talk to me like that. I'm not gonna leave you, but we gotta work on this. Because I'm not some nothing ass nigga. You know, and I love you and I respect you,

so let's work through this. What if you got a high value man, he got all the money, he might even be an alpha, but the dick little, and he trash in bed. So then what? That's what I'm gonna do. I'm just saying, becauseed in bed. So then what? That's what I'm saying. I'm just saying, cause he can't, cause then what? Because you ain't gonna let him talk to you

in your own kind of way? What? Listen. Listen. You ain't gonna let him talk to you in your own kind of way. That's what I'm saying. He can be the out for you. I know you ain't letting him talk to you in your own kind of way.

That might go crazy. Hey yo. If I had to choose between a little pito, okay, in my Spanish speaking language, little pito, little penis and a family hell of a good man, take give me the little dick and a good man. Because remember I'm choosing the man, I'm not choosing these ornaments.

And I know, and I'm, this is the thing, men don't understand this. A woman just needs a big dick when she don't know how to truly love and connect with you. Once we love you and connect with you, and when we love, we love, especially black women. When we love, we love, yeah. We're figuring out how to work with that little thing.

You got fingers, a mouth, you got toys. Like, when we love you, we love you. And we figure out how to make it do what it do. You got women who are with men who got little penises and pay no bills, because she love him. Now that's not doc approved. That's not doc approved. But so for me, I'm not manifesting God

the little pito type thing, but I'm saying, you know, if it, yeah, and this is probably gonna be TMI, but I always joke with my best friend Lola and my sister and I always say girl I'm not the woman who needs a big old penis me either girl. Sure. Wait a minute Jeff But I said why do god always send me the myth? What is this You ain't never seen. Go here. What the fuck? I said like this?

It's unfamiliar to you. What the fuck? I'm familiar to you. Lauren, what the hell? I'm not familiar. You're right. You're right. I know what you mean.

And I got to be inclusive. But I want to ask you about some internet rumors that I've seen. You know, Corey Holcomb said some things about you, about not having your degree and where you started off as, I guess guess working in a strip club. Is any of that stuff true? You said you're not a real doctor. You said yeah, you're not a real doctor. No, so I have four degrees.

Three are in psychology, one's in Pan-African Studies. My doctor degree is in counseling psychology. My master's in marriage and child therapy. All degrees are in psychology. Where this Corey Holcomb thing comes from is we did, I was on a show 10 years ago, when I actually, I think it was before I even had my doctor's degree, and Corey is used to being able

to be very disrespectful to women and do his thing. He was on a show with him or was just? He was a guest on a show I was co-hosting. He was a guest. And I drilled his ass, to be honest. It's on YouTube, people could look at it, and I cut into him and I said, you seem like you are inferior to white men.

You seem like you got daddy issues, and you seem like you got mommy issues. And you got kids that don't even talk to you or respect you, they don't like you. It tells a lot about your character. Now this was 10 years ago, okay? And obviously he's still in his feminine because he's still holding a grudge over it.

You know, this is like interviews are interviews. Are you saying you do them and you move on to the next? And so, was very upset. And I felt like in that space, he was, y'all could watch it, he was dumbfounded. Like usually he comes back with the F-U-B, or he has something to say. Or he's, you know, he got a mouth.

He was really just like, you know, a deer with headlights. He was just like, oh my God. The interview, the person podcast was on, everybody else was in it was like, we've never seen Cory be this quiet. We've never seen anybody be able to respectfully check him in this way. After we were done with the interview,

we went to take a big picture on the back splash and I walked up toward him, you know my personality, I'm very playful, I walked up and I'm like, let's take a picture. He wanted to fill in the picture. 10 years later I think he looked at it with his failed comedian career, because he's been attempting this career

for about 45 or so years with his failed comedian career, his failed marriage, and I'm not saying this to be mean, y'all can just research it. Jesus Christ, that, go ahead. And his failed parenting skills with his kids, because none of those people deal with him. I think he looked at it like, I get to kill two birds with one stone, which was smart.

I get to humiliate her back in some kind of way, which it didn't work, and or I get to ride on her back because she's going viral. I don't have a career, I do, he doesn't have a career. He's got a good comedy career. He does stand up, he just stays in 5150, he's a big podcast and he does stand up. Where, where he be at?

What? Where he be at? Thank you, we back. She got a good career but anyways we back. So, the point is I think that he did, and at this part I'm not knocking him for it, he did what any to me career oriented business person was supposed to do.

I see an opportunity, let me take it, let me create a narrative. But what happened was all it did was bring more attention to damn Dr. Bryant. So all people did was research me more, which is what I wanted them to do. All people did was find out for themselves, she is a real doctor, she has these degrees,

she's been doing this for a long time. This woman started off from Teen Mom, Family Reunion, which we were the biggest show on MTV. She not only was the on-camera life coach doctor for that show, she co-produced it and developed the show. So what happened was he brought attention to where people were able to go in and do what I want them to do,

which was research more of me, get more background on me and say, hey, let me make my own opinion about her. And again, you know, as my really good friend, Shaquille O'Neal says, which is one of my, you know, we've become pretty much like best friends now, he's like, doc, he's like, you know, he says, I hate when he says it but I love it, he goes, Doc, trust-front babies don't give attention to the ones who have

nothing. He goes, so let the good and bad attention do what it does for you. Let it do what it does. And I'm not a trust-front baby, but what Shaq is saying is, when you hear and they hear, all it does is magnify you, right? The small dog has to stay in the small dog park. They're just not allowed in the big dog park. The big dogs can go to the small dog park and we dominate either way.

Would you have a conversation with Corey now? Like would you go on 5150 or have him on Truth Talks or something? I would not. Only because Corey's, and I'm only talking only because Corey's, and I'm only talking about this on here, because when I did Nick and other interviews and other places I've interviewed with,

who are also as big as Breakfast Club, well who's bigger than Breakfast Club though? Y'all copy, but I also told them, I said I'm not gonna address him, period. I don't wanna bring any attention to him or give him the fume that he needs. Because again, Charlie Mann, I hear what you're saying, but he has a total failed career.

A total failed career as a comedian. Is he funny? There's some things he says yes that are funny. Has he made it to any place past a podcast of a group of men who agree with just a rhetoric that's just a very negative, distorted narrative of black people in general, especially women. Kevin Samuels spent only two years doing what Corey does

and had a better career than Corey. Corey had been doing it for 40, 50 years. He was at Improv in LA and can't even get a job there. So that doesn't go to his comedic abilities, that goes to his lack of character, nobody wanting to work with you. You have gifts and you have professionalism. You gotta have both to make it.

Corey is just a broken person, period. And I do feel like you'll need help. He needs help. Corey needs off camera. If Corey came to me and said, Doc, let's do off camera sessions, 100%, 100%. If he wants to do it on camera because it's just gonna be a rhetoric,

I'm not doing that, to help his career. I will help him as a man, but I'm not here to help him in his career. That's his job. I'm not here to carry a man that ain't mine or float a man that ain't mine, but to help you with your mental health or help you as a person.

He's an alcoholic, he drinks a lot. You know, he's overcompensating those areas. Those are places he needs help with. Did you guys see what he looked like on Cab Newton interview? I'm not talking about looks meaning attractiveness. Do you see how unwell, hygienically clean he looks? God damn, alright Dr. Bryant, Lord have mercy. Let me say what, no this ties into mental health.

You know this. She's a necessity. I mean the chopper is out. But does this not tie into mental health? You ran actually an amazing organized mental wealth expo. Thank you. I was so honored and privileged to be there. It was amazing. But I wanna say thank you that we know that

keeping up your hygiene is one of the number one symptoms of depression. The number one way you're able to see that somebody's depressed or in their addiction or overcompensating in addictive behaviors is how they keep themself up. That's how parents could look at their kids and be like, you're not bathing,

your hygiene is not up to par, what's going on? That man's hygiene was on negative 200. What I'm saying is he needs deeper help than me coming on 5150 to bring him a bigger audience. He can still do 5150, but he needs to be able to 5150 himself and get the help that he needs. Lord have mercy. God bless right.

Doc was talking, you were talking earlier about growing up in the wrong environment and you learn what not to do. And I think that is difficult for a lot of parents, right? Because I always say my father raised me out of fear and not love because he didn't want me to make the same mistakes that he made growing up in the same environment. So what would you say to parents who are navigating that?

Like who have kids, you know y'all are in, they're in the same environment that you grew up in and you want them to get out of it, but you weren't even able to navigate through it yourself. You know y'all are in, they're in the same environment that you grew up in, and you want them to get out of it, but you weren't even able to navigate through it yourself. Yeah, I think that again, seeking wise counsel. I think that therapy, coaching should be a lifestyle. It shouldn't be something that someone does

for preventative or intervention measures. And I think that parents need to just be 100 and transparent with their kids. I think they need to say, listen, this is my first time doing you, raising you, knowing you. I've never known a 15-year-old you. So I don't know what to do here. You know what I mean, let's sit down and dialogue.

Can you use some of your critical thinking skills? Do you have resources at your school? Help me help you. Let's do this. I think the transparency of it is what allows kids to be vertical in who they are. I think that handing them everything, problem solving for them,

and doing everything for them, especially men, it handicaps y'all. So when you have to be the head, you now have a mother who taught you how to be the neck. And then you wanna be mad at a woman who comes in and she has to be in her alpha because who the hell gonna be the head to this thing? So I think it's about transparency.

I think parents gotta stop having this mommy daddy guilt and stop feeling like they have to be this perfect parent. I think your kids seeing your vulnerability and your imperfections will actually aid them in ways more than them seeing your perfection. You think kids are too soft? I think parents are too soft and kids are too soft these days, yeah.

The Bible says an undisciplined child is an unloved child. I think kids are feeling unloved because they're not being disciplined. What is too soft for you now? And the reason I ask is, like Charlamagne said, there were certain things, I mean, my kids can't do it anyway, but there were certain things that you can do

and you couldn't do, right? And I run the household the same way, right? But if you look at these kids now, a lot of them are a lot softer, a lot weaker, cry faster, you hear depression, you hear a lot of triggering words that I don't even think that they know what they're saying, they just see it because they see it on TV

or they heard somebody say it online. But also people will say that the reason that these kids are like that because parents can't parent anymore because if they yell at their child, if they pop a child, or if they do anything that their parents did to them except abuse, they will be you know told on to the school the CPS will be at their door. So listen, my grandmother whipped my ass and I called the police. While I was down nine she put one in one and told them when they got there I'll whip my ass and I called the police. While I was down, nine, she put one in one

and told them when they got there, I whipped her ass. If you take me to jail, I'm gonna come home and I'm gonna beat her ass again. So whatever you gonna do, let's do it. And I would never take away her discipline. That's how I know she loves, you know how, first of all, I'm not even a mama. I'm the oldest of seven.

I got about nine nieces and nephews. Do you know how much energy it takes? Well, y'all have kids to discipline a child, to watch them to see when they're doing right or wrong. The love part is the time it takes to even watch to see what I'm doing, to discipline me. So a lot of parents to me, this gentle parenting is just called lazy parenting.

That means I'm not in the mood to parent. I got things I'm trying to do. I'm trying to figure my life out, or I'm a single parent, I'm trying to date, or I'm trying to get a sense of self. So I don't even have time or energy to deal with disciplining you. I think that's more of what it's about.

And no, it does not work. These kids have no guidance. They're a very lost generation. I mean, I'm gonna go there. You look at the campaign this year. You know, all due respect to César Camilo, she threw a concert, and I like Meg, and I love L'Oreal.

She threw a concert with Meg and L'Oreal thinking that that was going to move and influence our community to vote for her. You think that we're that low functioning that you cannot talk politics to us and legislation to us for us to choose you based on leadership. That we're gonna choose you based on

who's dropping it like it's hot or who's bringing in a concert. I agree with that. I said that I would rather just had Megan up there talking about women's rights and women's reproductive rights the way Cardi did. Cardi. What Cardi did was fantastic.

But Cardi's been talking politics for years. She just run for office. Cardi will come on there with no wig, hair everywhere. And really know what she's talking about. And be like, listen here, all this shit fucked up. And then we'll run a whole bill that she could just author and try to pull into legislation. So what I'm saying is this whole election

showed you the level of where our kids are. And I'm like, really? But it also showed you it didn't work. It didn't work. I saw you said too that you comment on the fact that Kamala didn't come out that first night when she didn't win. You speak to that and speak to the comment

because we were upset about. Oh yeah, another unpopular opinion. I don't care. This is, she proved why the people, men and women, who are not ready for a woman president are not ready for a woman president. Because society and some men, not all, deem women as emotionally unstable and unable to regulate our emotions. Sis, when these, when you knew you weren't in the lead, and these kids, these babies, these adults

were at a historical black university that you went to, Howard, waiting hours for you, they had volunteered, I'm sure, they had contributed, and they probably voted for you and supported you this entire time. You couldn't come out and address the people who supported you? That's proven to the people who don't believe women

could lead at that level, that a woman can't regulate her emotions enough to come out and take an L. I don't care if she would've came out in tears. Listen, I'm sorry we lost, whatever that looks like. And this husband, listen. I'll give a little pushback on that, because Donald Trump never gave a concession speech.

Hillary Clinton didn't. Nor would he even admit that he lost. Listen, I'm not in support of Donald Trump. But Donald Trump didn't need to come out because he never conceded. He also stood ten toes down and said, y'all, which I'm not saying I agree with this, y'all rigged it, I won, I'm not conceding. He still got the keys to the White House. But he didn't come to his people either.

When that night he never came out and there was what he lost to Joe Biden. He never came out that night. That's what I just said. Yeah, no, but she said he didn't concede. That's literally what I just said. But he didn't come out at all to speak to his people at all. That's what I just said.

But we're talking about Trump who runs on being that type of person. So his people never expected that. Just like when someone says, well Trump's a racist. He's running on that. Trump is talking about getting rid of DEI. He has said that to us. But Kamala came out and showed us all this love and support.

After she said, I can't do just something for the black community, but when the day that I get into office, I'm gonna sign my very first bill that's called immigrant reform, that's doing something for a group of people. Now, I'm black and Hispanic, so I ain't got a problem against immigrants. But what I'm saying is if you can't do something

for one group of people, my love, that's one group of people. Now let me move forward. But when you took the L, let me add to that, not only did you not come out, you sent a man to come out and address these people. Cedric Ridge. He was fine too.

You sent a man, I don't know if you're married, but that man was handsome. You sent a man to come out and address the people. You didn't even send another woman or black woman. This was a woman's moment and that's what you made it. Black and women. You sent a man to do a woman's job and in my opinion that all that did was tell the folks who said women can't lead. See she sent a man out to do it and then came out the next day and said okay I'm gonna have this.

That's not leadership to me. Leadership is commitment. And commitment is doing what you said you would do regardless of how you feel. I don't care how you felt. Kamala, come out and address us. Those kids left what they had down. They weren't sad just because she lost.

They were sad because they were looking for who was still their leader, whether she lost or not, to come out and address those kids. That's wrong, that's just out of pocket, that's not leadership. And you gotta have a backbone. So, I mean, either, I still supported her, I voted for her,

but I didn't see the leadership in her from the beginning. But I was rooting for her, I wanted sis to show different. But when she didn't show up for that, I said, this is it. You know, maybe I'll run in four years and I'll run black and women and I'll run all these ways

and I'm very lovingly criticizing Kamala for it. And maybe when I win, y'all will say, well, of course you came out, doc, because you won. He is married too. I looked it up for you, sis. Sorry. What's the last time? Did you know Nipsey?

Personally? Yeah. Okay. We grew up in LA. All right, got it. Everyone in LA, and that's how, you know, in LA we know each other, yeah. Especially in the 80s, we're all 80s kids.

I was gonna ask, when's the last time you apologized, or last time you were wrong about something? Do you remember? Good question, Niffy. It probably, no it probably. Probably was 1984. No, it probably was to my best friend Lola and my assistant, we work so closely together, we're always together.

And because I'm so comfortable with her, she gets all of my moving parts, right? So she gets like the really good me, she gets like the bratty me, she gets the, what the fuck are you doing, you're moving too slow me, you know, she gets the really good me, she gets like the bratty me, she gets the what the fuck are you doing, you're moving too slow me, she gets the thank you me, and then she gets the like, you know, I'm sorry, you're right, that was a little brash,

or you know, so probably her, to be honest with you. What about to a man that you're dating? He ain't never getting an apology. I actually got though because you are very strong in opinion and stuff like that. And I think men think that women that are structured, like you don't know how to be accountable and don't know how to apologize. I'm very accountable. I do apologize.

That's why I said I want a man who will say with respect. And he ain't about to just dominate, like shut your ass up. You know, he can be disrespectful, but I want a man who's like, hold on, you're out of pocket right now. We don't do that, this is not what we do. And I like you strong, but this is not strong, this is disrespectful, baby. But I want him to be able to know how to say it,

and then I will be like, even if it's not in that moment, I can process and be like, you know what, you're right. And I do, I will apologize, I will come to myself because I have the discipline of that self talk of saying stop, you know, or I will say, listen, you've already apologized, you've done everything you could right now, it's not a you problem, I'm still trying to get out

of my ego, so just give me 30 minutes because baby, you've apologized, like you've done your job. And then I come around in 20, 30 minutes and I'm like, okay, I'm back, and I'm sorry too. like, okay, I'm back and I'm sorry too. That's awareness, that's accountability. I'm sorry too and the thing is when you really want peace and that's the thing about being single for so long though. You find a peace and a joy that when you do get

into a relationship. It gotta make sense. And when you do get into a relationship though, you're really saying, let's dead in this argument because see, I'm so used to being happy because it's just me that I just wanna get to the cuddle part again see I'm so used to being happy because it's just me, that I just want to get to the cuddle part again. I just want to get to the happy part again.

So what do we need to do just to be good? And people who are so used to being in relationships with this circle dysfunction of argument, they leave that marriage and do the same thing. Have you ever got afraid that you're gonna get so used to that piece that you're not gonna wanna do nothing? Because I tell myself that all the time, like I'm in such a good state. I don't want nothing to bother me But people come to the floor shut up. Shawn. I'm a hater

Well, he's a hater no because I have been I have been serial serial dating for the six years I've been single so when I say single it means I haven't been committed committed But have I had like three months six months relationships that went that long season and were exclusive and were committed in that season because I am very into exclusivity. I don't like casual sex and so I will accidentally go a year, year and a half celibate because I don't like the casualty of sex. You know what I mean?

And so yeah, no, so I'm dating. I mean, I have someone that I spend time with now that I will go on dates with. We're not committed, so I'm still single. But I'm a woman who, I'm gonna have a companion around. I love companionship and I love a man's energy. That testosterone, that alpha energy is recharging for me. And it's not something that I would just say like,

oh I could do without, no, I want it, I love it. And so I keep around what I want. And when I decide to, I would choose that one person to be around for the long term. Well, when does that decision happen for you then? Now, I'm in my choosing stage. So it's gonna happen now, like soon? I'm in my choosing stage.

But I'm not desperate. So it's not like, again, I'm not choosing just a high valued man. I would even take a man who's a little less value, meaning a little less income money, but I just love this man. He's my person. So you would take the bus driver?

I don't, well, only no because he's away from me for too long, and he's coming home with money that's not worth the value of the time I'm not getting with you. What if he's a good man? I guess that's why I'm confused about what the high value man think, because I'm like, I understand he got the bank, but what if he's just got a poor spirit?

What if he got a poor character? What if he's not willing to do the work on himself? That's why I'll take a little less value in higher functioning. I don't want high value, low functioning. I'll take a little less value. Because I do well on my own. Am I gonna take care of a man?

No. Am I gonna spoil the hell out of him? Hell yeah. But I'm not gonna take care of you. But will I go, will I take you on a trip because you mind? Yeah. Would I buy you a brand new car when. But will I go, will I take you on a trip because you mine, yeah. Would I buy you a brand new car when you come home and this is the Lambo you wanted, hell yeah.

But are you going to be a man who is not submitting to me either or can't be in your alpha or you ain't paying no bills or you're not respecting me, you're not coming to support my shows, you're not on my speaking tour, no, I'm not doing it with a man who's not doing those things. But do I need you to just take full care of me and then I still got my hand out?

No, I'm submitting to you, you have in-house loving, I'm not gonna deny that. Whatever I gotta do, I got you, I did that in relationships and that's why the men I've been with are the men I've dated also, have always wanted to marry me because I'm a good woman, I treat them good, I'm loving. But also because I'm not choosing a man just for their value.

I want you to have money, I wanna go to Maldives, I want a trip, I want you to buy me a Birkin. Not because I want a Birkin, it's because I want it from you, right? And so the Birkin or the Louis or whatever the hell coming from you is what I place value in. And that's what makes me love the bag. That's what makes me love the iPhone

because you bought the iPhone for me. Right. Yeah. Right, so yeah, yeah. I mean he can, yeah, so I would, and I would rather have a regular man who isn't in the limelight, who we both don't have to straddle this whole industry thing and he can go run a business or go be a corporate guide. He can come to my shows and we can go home

and have intellectual pillow talk. I can go home and put my hair in a bird's nest and walk around with sweats and a tank top and no bra. You know what a bird's nest is? No, I definitely know what it is. Oh wait, he just, uh-uh. Laura do too? You know what, so you got the show Truth Talks. I do, Truth Talks, yes, yes, yes. Talk to us about that before we get out of here.

Please talk to us. Oh my gosh, so Truth Talks is my new talk show. It's on Fox, it's Monday through Friday at 8 p.m. Eastern. Congratulations. Why would somebody give you a talk show? You good at talking to someone? No, not at all, not at all.

It's funny, sometimes the producers are like, Doc, you know, give the other co-hosts time to talk. I'm like, really? I'm like, I gotta do that? But it's cool, we're pretty much, we're a global news, we're a CNN that gives you the black voice, the black perspective, and we're bringing truth to everything, news, with culture, to us to it.

So we're every night, 8 p.m., Brian time. Love that. I appreciate you joining us. I'm gonna follow you Dr. Cheyenne. Follow me on underscore Dr. Brian, on Instagram, social media, or you can go to drbryant.co, and that's me on underscore Dr. Brian, on Instagram, social media, or you can go to drbryant.co, and that's drbryant.co, not dot com.

And then I'm on my speaking tour. So every weekend I am on the tour with Tonight's Conversation, but I'm also on my own speaking tour. So every weekend go to my website on my social media, you'll see that I'm with Tonight's Conversation for the rest of this year, but I also have my own speaking tour in Chicago.

We got Atlanta, we got LA, we got we got London we got Canada we have Iowa I'm like I'm like y'all like black people in Iowa right that's how I be when I be on my comedy so like who was in Wisconsin even if there's two people in Iowa who are black whose lives I can shift or change I'm the doc is on her way the doc is on her way we gonna do it yeah that's Dr. Shia and Brian we appreciate you joining us thank you Dr. Brian, thoroughly enjoyed the conversation. I am, thank y'all for having us, but no, Shia LaMe seriously,

thank you for being such an advocate this whole mental health, it's not an event, you have a mental health movement going on. When I came there, people, I mean, to see black people, black men with like, mental health for black people, black men for mental health, and mental health is life's change, they had like merch with everything mental health black

and even though it's for all races and all ages, your panelists there were just giving incredible information. People were sitting there intrigued, entertained, but more than that, people were leaving with gems that they were really like, yo, this event is powerful. Thank you, I'm glad we could have you there. It was amazing, so thank you for having that.

I needed you there, like when we, you were like top of the list, I'm like, Dr. Brian got to be there. Thank you. I'm glad we could have you there. So thank you for having that. No, I needed you there like when we, you were like top of the list. I'm like Dr. Brian got to be there. Thank you. So I'm happy that we can meet. Thank you so much. Thank you all for having me. It's The Breakfast Club. Good morning. Thank you.