The Breakfast Club - Best of full interview: Jordan Carlos On Becoming A Better Partner, Emotional Maturity, New Book 'Choreplay' + More

Episode Date: April 10, 2026

Best of 2026 - Jordan Carlos On Becoming A Better Partner, Emotional Maturity, New Book 'Choreplay'. Listen For More!YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BreakfastClubPower1051FMSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Listen to no grip on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Every day I wake up, you're all finished or y'all done. Yep, it's the world's most dangerous morning to show the Breakfast Club. Shalameen to God, Jess hilarious. Invy is out, but Lauren LaRosa is in, and I got my guy, man,

Guy Code alumni. I affectionately call him counsel. Counsel. Because of our days on Guy Court. Jordan Carlos is here. Good to be here, Sharr. Good morning. Hold on.

You put Chorplay up here so that people can see it. It's right there. It's right there. I love the name of the book. Yeah, I do too. Oh, thank you very much. I appreciate that. I thought it was genius for what the book is actually about.

Oh, my God. Chor played a marriage saving magic of getting your head out your ass. Yeah, firmly, out your ass, squarely, out your ass. This was saved my marriage. And it's funny because I don't know. I mean, like, this is a very, like, it's challenging for men, but I'm going to tell you, what I found out was the bar is in hell for men when it comes to just, like, cleaning up around the house.

And we trip over it all the time. So I thought, I mean, I'm not telling anybody how to live, but I'm just telling people, like, have you considered this? I'm not an expert or anything like that. I'm just a veteran of the wars out here. And I'm lucky to be married still. and I just want to share that information with everybody. I think it's hilarious because you said your own book saved your marriage.

Yeah, for real. Like, that's what it did. It's, I mean, it's crazy. When I sat down, because writing a book, as you know, as you know, takes deep, meditative thought and you really self-reflects and you see yourself in the mirror and there's no getting away from it. So that's what it really was. It just, oh, man, I had to think deeply.

I looked up, like, invisible work. Let me just man-explain invisible work to y'all real quick. I'm just kidding. but like people don't know what it is. It's that work that my mom put in, that my grandmother put in, like taking care, my mom taking care of my grandmother while she held down a job. And, you know, like my dad, great guy,

but didn't contribute in the ways that he maybe could have and stepped up. And that's, I mean, that kind of thing, like learning about that, learning about executive function and what women go through all the time was so, like my eyes are open. Yeah. Women are better. cleaners than men. Okay.

That's not all the way, but no. No, my brother clean so much, I clean, but my brother is so much more organized. It depends on the man. He read the whole book and that's, yes, you take it away. That's exactly. That one thing you can never conquer is men, like, the brains and how small they be so. It's true.

He's the perfect example of it. He read the whole book. I'm sure front the back and look, he's going to still see and say it. I'm not saying that we shouldn't participate. I'm just saying women are better cleaners than men. They are left to do these things. They're left to do these things. Right? So, I mean, for instance, like, when I have Thanksgiving back in Texas, like, I noticed my baby cousins. The male ones do not have to watch the dishes, but the teenage girls, they're like, okay, baby, let's go to work now, you know? And it's like, the boys are always, the game is on, right? So it's like.

Were they hunting. Did they hunt the food? They didn't go shopping. Those teenage boys did not go shopping at all. And they use Instacart now, so you ain't even having to carry the groceries no way. Yes, I use Instacart. There's no better time to be a slob than right now because technology is caught up with you. I'm sorry. But no, no, you're fine. But no, that's not all men, though, because my dad, when I grew up, I grew up in a house, my dad was the one who claimed. My mom cooked, she didn't. You know, they both made the home. You know, but my dad, OCD, like, anything out of place, he's fixing it. He's, like, wiping down countertops, you know, so that doesn't go for, you know, all men.

It does not. It does not, no. I heard you say that this book saved your marriage, where you, was she on the way out the door, like you were about to lose her? Because it's also, it's also, like, a testament to knowing what you got before it's gone. Yes, yes, before you lose it. I mean, this is. what happened, right? So COVID happened. We were busy before COVID. Before COVID,

Guy Coe was popping. Everything was going on. And then everything stopped. And when the tide goes out, you see the rocks, right? And that's, that's what happened. I was at home. I was not working, but I also was a stranger in my own house because I was not contributing. I was mad that I wasn't working. And that was like, I was like given into like man-child vibes and things like that. And my wife was no longer having it, right, because I was not contributing to the household. And so, like, with that said, there was also another divorce that happened in our family. And I was like front row seats to that. And I did not want that at all.

And it was not because of infidelity. As I wrote in the book, it's because, I mean, studies showed that it's commitment. So it was like he wasn't doing anything. And if you're just like an overage child, you're going to get kicked out of the nest. And that's what happened to him. And I was like, I don't want that at all. What can I do? I was listening to

so it's like there was nothing dramatic you know and that's what really kills a lot of marriages it's like it's nothing dramatic it's just it's just this kind of me situation a woman complaining that you're staying in the house

and doing nothing during COVID is so selfish what are you thinking you talking about you brought me up you brought me here in good faith bro you're making us look bad let me tell you yeah no no no no let me counsel

counsel let me uh cover his mic No, I'm just saying this. I mean, it was, yes, in part it was COVID, but at the same time, I could have translated that into helping out. I was watching my wife pick up laundry, take it upstairs, take it downstairs, watching her do the dishes and everything like that. You know, watching her take care of the dog, dust in the corners, watching, watching, and just like doing nothing. And after a while, that repetition erodes the integrity of a relationship, man. Like little by little. Did it, were you emotionally?

Disconnected mentally disconnected? Like, how could you just sit, you know, and watch her do that? Like, where you're going through your own funk of not working and you were just, like, in a miserable state where you couldn't even help yourself. So how could you help her? Right. I think I was definitely there. But I was also, I stay on ready mode.

And that's something I write about in the book is, like, guys are always, like, we're always, we have like John Wick fantasies. I'm ready to fight. If she asked me to take the trash out, I'll do it. No problem. It's nothing. Yeah, you got to do the trash out. That's us. That's us.

That's us. But to be reminded of the thing. I was always being reminded of the thing. So I started reminding myself. It was just a small switch. I saw that divorce. I said, this is what the guy was not doing

and not bringing to the table. I was like, okay, let me flip this. And just, I know when trash night is. It's Tuesday night. So let me just go do it.

You know, like bring the receptacles back on Wednesday morning. Like that's, I knew to do that because I've seen her do it. So just do it. And like, I cannot tell you. Like,

there's that Maslow's pyramid. of needs, right? And, like, the basic needs are taken care of, and then you can get to self-actualization. But if your basic needs aren't taken care of, then you can't feel safe, right? So that's what I was, like, I was ignoring that about her. So when, like, I mean, another part of the book is smashing.

So, I'm sorry to look at you during that. Why did I suck? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, anyway, smash is a big part of the book. But like, but, but she wasn't, she wasn't down to clown as much when the house wasn't in order, right?

So I was looking at that, studying that, and that's people need safety. They need security deep down. It's that caveman part of you. And so when that happened, it was like, yeah. To get in the mood. To get in the mood. To get in the mood. Chor play.

Chor play. Chor play. He said down the clown, no. I was just like, uh-uh. I mean, I was trying. He can't say smack. He can't say having. Well, he can't say having.

Well, we, we make love. but like, you know, I'm messing, I'm messing, I'm messing. Is she like fumbling over your words? This nerd. All right, so, um, the book is really good, though, man. And I just, I just want you to be too hard on yourself. Like, when you talk about how you used to see her cleaning and, you know, you felt like you didn't help, it's like, yo, when you saw Leonardo da Vinci doing the Mona Lisa,

when you say, hey, let me get a brushing. No, you would let a master do work. No. It's the same thing. Don't listen. You're better at that. Hold on. You're saying let her cook.

If she's doing what she's doing. Charlemagne, but how are you? Okay, but you're married too. This is wild. All right. So I feel like, thank you, Charlemagne. That's called, I mean, that is called like when you pretend to be incompetent at something, right?

So it's like Tom Sawyer, right? Like, I can't do that. I can't let her whitewash the fence. I got to jump in there if I know what I'm doing. Because what's cute in your 20s is not cute in your 40s. Like, I'd watch. football every Sunday. I watched my Cowboys for no good reason, every Sunday

and she was fine with that in my 20s. But then in my 40s, she's like, why don't you take the kids to this or that? You know, they got practice. There's the evolution. No, no. What happened? You know I'm a cowboy fan, too. They got to give us the Cowboy game. Now, Jordan, this is a bit crazy.

Yo, the game's on. I know. He's like, so I did all my chores all during the week. I did everything I'm supposed to do during the week, and I can't watch the game. I'm so sad. I don't want to say. I don't want to sound like Stephen A, but like, what have the Cowboys done for you lately? The Cowboys, what have the Cowboys done for you lately? I mean, I'm talking to, okay, we can leave the Cowboys out.

Like, a Jets fan should be out with his family in the fall. They should be picking apples and going on hikes and canoeing. What are you doing at MetLife? Like, you should be, right? But you don't feel like there's like, I mean, and I know you talk about kind of like the giving takes in the book, but there aren't like giving takes. It's like, all right. Like, I can understand.

is the day that you want for that. As much as you can understand, cleaning the bathroom, I know you have your list in this book and you talk about cleaning just the tub out after you used it. That helps me a lot. It's give or take.

So do you got, what was your give or take in your marriage after writing this book? If you couldn't have football on Sundays, what was she willing to be like, all right, bet, I'm going to let you have that. And let me just say this. My situation was unique.

I had to quit, like, that was like a tourniquet. I had to fix this so I could fix a bigger thing. I'm not saying like everybody's got to quit watching football. You could stand to watch home games. You could stand to watch away games. Like you could pick, you know, or like just take a weekend off. That's all I'm saying. I would say that my give and take is this.

I have a lot time for myself now because this book is about time management as well. And I have a lot time for myself. I wake up at 5 a.m. I've already been up for hours today. So like you can tell, I'm feeling hype. So that time I have for myself is mine and mine alone. I usually go to the gym, work out whatever it is. But if I don't, if I, on a rest day, I'll watch, like, a series I haven't watched yet

because I can't watch it around my kids. Maybe it's just, like, cursing it or something like that. So it's like I have my time to do what I want to do. I get to read. That's my hour, you know? So that's my give and take. And, yeah, I mean, look, sometimes, of course, I watch the Cowboys sometimes. What do you have to do to earn your hour?

It's about, but I feel like you have a techno feudalous household. So how much work do you have to put in the hour in your hour? It's a vibe. It's a vibe. It's a vibe. It's a vibe. We don't, that's what the book's about, too.

It's a vibe. I mean, I like a lot of books out there that tell you what to do. I was inspired by Eve Rodsky's fair play, right? But I was like, that's too rigid. That's too rigid. And at the end of the book, I'll just point this out and say at the end of that book, she's like, all right, ladies, now get out there and save your marriage.

And I was like, damn, this wasn't even written for me. This is written for somebody else. So what's, what would? What would a male do, right? I'm like, I'm going to change my vibe. That's what I'm going to do. Okay. So I can't have, I don't get by with charts in the wall and things like that and

gold stars because that's for somebody else's approval. What's my approval matrix? What do I believe in? What's my standard? So that's kind of where it is for me. Like, she, I mean, like, I could watch football if I wanted to. But I'm like, I want to take my kid to Governor's Island. I want to go hiking one Sunday.

I don't want to give it more money to Jerry Jones. Like, Jerry's fine. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, you know, he's fine. What am I doing for me? Yeah. You know? So that's, that's really what it is.

It's like, yeah. How long did it take you to save your marriage? You said it saved your marriage. But like, what was that process like? And how long was it? To be honest, I would say, like, it took about six months to write things, right? So there was this guy that was famous in the mom's group in Brooklyn. His, so he's Canadian.

So he's suspect anyway. But he's so. But we learn a lot from Canadian. Universal healthcare, you know, all the kind of stuff. So anyway, he was famous among the moms. They're like, oh, Hugh, he was a good guy. Oh, he was the best. Like, he makes coffee every morning for his wife.

He makes coffee. That's it. One cup. That's it. So I asked him, like, what do you do? You grind the beans. Do you make like a latte, cappuccino, whatever? The foam designs.

He's like, man, folders crystals. Folders crystals. And that's it. The bar is in hell, right? So for that, the man is famous. So I was like, I'm going to do the same thing. So I did that, slow-hanging fruit. I did the same thing.

It was hard to wake up in the morning before my wife, but I did it. And I kept doing it. I did it like one day, three days, seven days. I do it. Like, this is the only morning I couldn't do it. It took a man from Canada to tell you that the best part of waking up is full-divis. What is going on here?

A man from Canada after Ted to come say that about that? Yeah, yeah, for real. I mean, he showed me, he gave me the, like, Prometheus fire. Like, I was like, I was in the dark about it, you know? And it was, the guys were dwindling down in that group. We have, like, a Friday kind of, like, hangout. And it was just me and him left. I was like, damn, I had to know the secret after that.

I'd seen so many, we lost so many good men out here, Sean. But what did you think when you... Like, be enough. But what did you think when you heard that that was the secret? Just Fold just crystals. Like, even with this whole process, when you think back on it, right, things that you weren't doing versus now things that you are doing it,

do you ever say like, damn, it really wasn't that hard all this time? And I don't know, did you ever think also, like, Why do you guys expect extra credit for doing the bare minimum anyway? Oh, because, I mean, that's, I want my ticker tape parade. You know what I'm saying? Like, I really do. Like, like, I mean, I did the dishes before I left this morning. And I had to fight.

It was like fighting for my life not to be like, babe, do you appreciate those dishes was done this morning? She didn't care. You know, like, or you got to give yourself an adder boy. Yeah. I gamify everything. And I'm like, okay, let me see if I can get a load in before like a laundry in before I hit the, you know. like leave the house, go to the office, whatever it is. So it's just like, what is the vibe for you?

I mean, I had to also stop being and stop wanting to be mothered, you know? Like, because that's someone getting mad at you for not straightening up feels like that's me just like reliving the dynamic I had with my mom. And I love my mom, you know? But I don't, but marrying somebody is not substituting your mother. You know what I'm saying? It's like it's a partnership. It's, yeah, so. Murturing for you.

Yeah, absolutely. But just like, how do you nurture yourself? What do you want? Do you see yourself? You know? Like, for instance, like I had to get a fade yesterday, but I did it. Not my wife always being like, you're woofing, like, you need your edges, this and that. You know, like, stop.

What do you want? You know when it's time to do something. And do you feel like that came from your father not contributing as much or not being a, oh, was he? Yeah. How do you know he did not? My dad, my dad. You're just going to call this man, dad. No, no, no.

My dad, my dad actually was not around. Okay. He was, he's a doctor. He's at the hospital all the time. So it's actually like a positive reason. You know what I'm saying? So, but he, he was taking care of women for so long and, like, as an OBGYN. And it's crazy.

He was also, like, instrumental Planned Parenthood in Dallas, Fort Worth, where I'm from. And then he'd come home and it's like, you can be an ally in the streets, but not in the sheets. You know, like, my dad. We'd just be watching ESPN2, watching boxing and just like having a state and like not giving a damn about what the state of the house was. So he was Heathcliff Huxstable outside the house. Yes, yes. Well, we can pick another doctor. I didn't say through it because me.

I said Heathclothoble. That's the character. I got you. I was like, Jess is, I knew I knew Jess was shoot at me. No. Okay, okay, okay. I don't think that's fair to your father, George. This man is in Dallas, Texas, taking care of vaginas all over Dallas.

And he comes home and just wants to relax for a second. And he's getting flag about not taking out the trash for five minutes. No, no, no, no. I'm just saying I love my dad. He's the most generous guy out there. But, like, that's what was modeled for me. Like, you could have what I detail in the book as a greedy job. And a greedy job is just a job that eats up your time.

It's not about money. So my dad had a greedy job as a doctor. He was a public servant. He's a doctor. God ordained your father. We love my dad. Joseph Carlos, I love you. MD, I love you.

No, no, no. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that you become what you behold. So that was model for me. So that's what I did. And it was repeated. And my wife is a professor too. And she holds down her job and does all these things.

But I was still like, just like, okay, what did dad do? That was it. That's, yeah. So, yeah. But you talk about that she brought in the the Cosby show and you talk about like even media

and like your mom taking you to go see Mr. Mom. Yeah. And like kind of some of I thought that the conversation that you were going to have after that

was a lot different than the one that you actually had and I won't give it away. But I guess talk a little bit about going to see that movie and how that resonates with you as an adult because I thought that your take on it was kind of interesting

of why your mom took you to see that movie. I think my mom took me to see that movie because it just spoke to her because it's a reversal. Mr. Mom, if you don't know, it's like Michael Keaton in the early 80s like He loses his job or whatever because the factories are all moving to Japan.

So he is at home as a, so he's Mr. Mom and his wife goes out to work. And lo and behold, he can't do anything around the house at all. But the man was like an engineer. Like he understood how like a combustible engine work, but he can't make a popcorn frywork. And I'm just like, this is the dumbest movie of all the time. But it's like, but it plays into the stereotype of the useless man, right? And so my mom was laughing the whole time. laughing the whole time because

I could see that, you know, that reflected my dad at home. You know what I'm saying? You could be a genius out there, but not get or understand like when my dad used to be like, Hazel, where the scissors is at? You know, like, the sisters have been in the same drawer for 10 years. He doesn't, he doesn't know. You know what I'm saying?

Like, so that kind of thing. Because women are usually are the CEO of the house. Women are the CEOs of the house. I mean, especially my wife. My wife is from Brooklyn. My wife went to public school, a whole life. Magnacum, Ladi, from Smith and a PhD.

She's a field general. You know what I'm saying? I am a good lieutenant. And a good lieutenant, the field general knows the playbook because she wrote it. Just sub-in. She can't do everything.

That's all I do. Like a good shortstop. You described Choate play as a marriage manual disguises comedy. Why do you think so many men need humor at the entry point before they can even hear a relationship?

Sorry, I love you. Actually, you described it as that. But you said I did. I did. Yeah. Celebrate your pride with the station that's as bold, vibrant and diverse as you are. IHart Pride Canada. From dance anthems to pop icons and hits from 2SLGBTQ Plus Canadian artists.

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On the Serving Pancakes podcast, conversations about volleyball go beyond the court. Today, we have a little best friend compatibility test. Okay, how long have we been best friends for? This is the day we met. As the League One volleyball season heads towards its final stretch, there's no better time to tune in. We really are like yin and yang, vodka and tequila. You'll hear unfiltered analysis, behind-the-scenes stories and conversations with leaders making an impact across the sport. Today, we have Logan Ledmecky.

I feel like our fan base in general is very connected. Just like a comforting feeling getting to play at home. Whether you're following the final push of love season or just love the game, serving pancakes brings you closer to the action and the people shaping the future of volleyball. Jordan, Thompson. Had that microphone out. God forbid we make mistakes or cuss at our coach. Like when time or two times.

Open your free IHeart Radio app. Search serving pancakes and listen now. This has been serving pancakes and we'll catch you on the flip side. Okay. Presented by Capital One. founding partner of I Heart Women's Sports. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, host of the On Purpose podcast. My latest episode is with Noah Kahn,

the singer-songwriter behind the multi-platinum global hit stick season and one of the biggest voices in music today. Noah opens up about the pressure that followed his rapid success, his struggles with mental health and body image, and the fear of starting again after such a defining moment in his career. It's easy to look at somebody and be like, your life must be so sick. Man, you have no clue.

Talking about the mental illness stuff, it used to be this thing that I was ashamed of. I'm just now trying to unwind this idea that I have to be unhealthy physically or in pain in some emotional way in my life to create good music. If someone says that I did a good job, I'm like, yeah, I'm good.

Someone says that I suck. I'm like, I suck. Getting to talk about this is not common for me. Right now I need it more than ever. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Chetty, on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Nora Jones, and I love playing music with people so much that my podcast called Playing Along is back.

I sit down with musicians from all musical styles to play songs together in an intimate setting. Every episode's a little different, but it all involves music and conversation with some of my favorite musicians. Over the past two seasons, I've had special guests like Dave Grohl, Laveh, Mavis Staples, Remy Wolfe, Jeff Tweedy, really too many to name. And this season, I've sat down with Alessia Kara, Sarah McLaughlin, John Legend, and more. Check out my new episode with Josh Grobin.

You related to the Phantom at that point. Yeah, I was definitely the Phantom in that. That's so funny. Share each day with me, each night, each morning. Say you love me. You know I... So come hang out with us in the studio and listen to play. along on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Yeah, yeah, I appreciate you. I know, I appreciate you. He'd be writing and reading so much. I know, I know, I know. All right, so say one more time because I was like, yeah, and you do, I described it as a marriage man who's not as comedy, but I would say, why do you think men need humor as the entry point before they can even hear a relationship with? Because we got to sneak the veggies. We have to sneak the veggies no matter what. I don't want to, I don't, and by the way, a lot of men are doing a lot of things out there

and busting their ass. But like, but, um, so I give men credit for that. Nobody would stay with you for a long time, most times, unless you were doing something.

But I think that we get tripped up because we feel as though maybe masculinity gets in the way. Like, like, that's why we need a little humor. Masculinity gets in the way. Like, I met this guy on vacation and this guy was like next door to us.

Um, and he, he was, uh, staying like a door down. And he was a colonel in the army. I asked him what kind of, what did he do as,

As colonel, he was like, I was a quartermaster. I was like, what's a quartermaster? He's like, quartermaster just like, make sure that the troops and everything have the food, the ammunition, the supplies they need to do whatever, right? I was like, oh, okay. So he's like, I'm a quartermaster at my own home too. I was like, oh, okay. So I took that idea because I'm also, I mean, I am in touch more, I guess with like my feminine side,

but like I do have thin skin as a man. So I had to like, I was like, I'm going to be the quarterback. at my house too. So that's what I needed. Yeah. You know, I think men need that. They need to just make sure that it translates to something they can understand and take in. Because the guy said, Napoleon said an army marches on its stomach. So like, so having supplies, having resources ready for my family, my wife, whatever, that makes me feel, it makes me feel like more of a man.

And it's, and it does it in a way that is not harmful to my wife, to her femininity, to feminism, whatever. It doesn't matter. It doesn't disrupt, you know? And I like that. What age of like men do you think will actually get this book? Because you're talking about being in touch with your feminine side and all these things. And like, I think that that's a, most men don't get there for a while. Like, where did you, when did you get to this point?

I mean, I've always, Shar will tell you, I've always been a different kind of cat. You know, it's like, that's just who I am. But like my mom, raising more than my dad. So I understood women more and like women. you know, I think they're great. Like a lot of guys don't even like women. You know, they like pussy but don't like women. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly.

Exactly. But even that, you know, like, yeah, but even in that, you know, when you have guys that our allies, like, whatever you want to call it, at home, they just, it doesn't translate. Yeah. And so I think that that happened to me in my 40s. This is a late awakening. That's why I wrote the book right now. I had to, you know, like, because I thought I was doing fine. Yeah. I thought it was doing fine.

Just a realization. Therapy, self-realization. Therapy can only do so much, right? I mean, I'm not an expert. It could only do so much for me because we were talking and talking and talking in circles. This is just a book about like, have you tried this? Yeah. You know, like, have you tried this?

From your experience. From my experience. Have you tried vacuuming without being asked? Have you tried the line like, I already did that, you know, and seeing what that does to your person? Have you tried? Like, we always go to like. wonderful gatherings, parties in the summertime, spring, whatever it is, barbecues, cookouts,

kids are there, families there, everybody's there. When it's time to go home, my wife's always the one that says it's time to go home. Have I done that? I did that for her. It's free. You know, I flipped it and it was like, babe, like, we got to, you know, school. We got to, yeah, we got to go.

We got to go. And like, to see her. When you never wanted to go to begin with, should you give her credit? Should you give her credit for wanting to leave when you never even wanted to go? Like, we were having. been such a connective moment right there. We literally was like, we were like elevating,

elevating. Some people in our 40, you think there yet. But that's free, Sean. You can say it's time to go. You can, but I'm just saying it's for free you can do that. And it's like, it's so easy. It's like, there's little things low hanging fruit around the house because I was not ready for like big, big, big change. But I wanted to change. I'm not good with big change. I'm good with granular kind of change.

Like, like, so what I did was just like checked. I remember once I was on the bathroom. I just checked the TP roll. I was like, oh man, that should change that. So like, so just like, that's easy. It is. But it don't be happening. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

You know, you leave it with one little little piece of paper on a roll. Not helping nobody, right? So we got, you know, two bathrooms in the house, not trying to brag. So. Yeah, it hurts. Okay, joy. I love it. No, in my, I live in New York City in my entire house.

So it's easy to, I'm saying, it's easy to do. Yeah, not trying to brag. So it's easy to do. You know, doing that. And then I was like, then I, like, I wanted a snack. I checked in the refrigerator. I'm like, we running low on OJ. So checking your levels, I always said like in the book, I said the devil's in the levels.

So checking the OJ, the milk, the, these are all things that she would do. She'd be like, we got to get milk. We got to get milk, you know, like on the way home. And I'd be like, milk. You know, but like, we can never go straight home. So now I do that, right? I check the levels, the olive oil, whatever. it is, the butter, because my daughter's

a baker, she'd be baking. Like, we run a little bodega, basically, in our place. Like, she's always, we're running out of everything. So that's, that's, like, that was easy to do for me. Gotcha. Now, I love, I love the accountability on your part of everything that you're accepting, everything that you changed. Was there anything that you felt like she needed to change? Or, you know,

just like, something. She watching this? You say, yeah, so confident. And it thought about it. I know, like, yeah, a couple things. Let me. No, she, yeah, because when you have that, she possessed that image as the person who had it all under control. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And that can be, I understand.

My wife grew up in Brooklyn, like her parents were like radicals and hippies and they had like a townhouse and they rented it out. And she had one small space and order gave her peace, you know, in this kind of chaotic environment. And so the only. The only thing she had to change was letting go the fact that maybe I could handle things. Yeah, she doesn't have to do it all by herself. And that's how she's been pretty much all her life. Absolutely.

Okay, okay. So just taking things off people's plates can be tough because it's almost existential. Like, if I'm not doing at all, then what am I doing? You know? So like little by little, and we get competitive with it because she's from New York. So, you know, I'll be like, all right.

Where are you from? I'm from Texas. Yeah. From La Boarie. I'm from Dallas. I had no choice. I got to be a Cowboys for this can be next year. Okay, so.

I want to say a lot of guys in providing financially is it. Yes. What's the difference between a provider and being an actual partner? Wow. Okay, so yeah, a partner is just one who, like I said before, I'll return to it.

Just takes things off the plate. When you're just adding money, I've done that. I've just, I mean, like, I've added funds and then just been like, leave me alone. Right. And not, not so forcefully, but like, but, um, but that was the vibe.

That was the vibe. You can go buy the milk. You could go by the milk. I don't have to go to the store to get it too. Yeah. I don't have the time. You know what I'm saying? Or like, I didn't know, like, my kids' teachers' names.

Shout out to Smith, Tera. You know, shout out some of string. Like, I didn't know my, my kids' teachers' names. I wasn't invested. I figured that that absolved me. I could buy out of it, you know? And, like, I think, um, a part of it. you do that in more like you and it's and it feels good it feels good to have like inside jokes

about like what our kids uh discard in their lunch and what they eat and how they be coming back with different food than what we put in the lunchbox I'm like how what happened what they're that I know I know but I put carrot sticks in there and now it's like jolly range now because I don't want no damn carrot it's true it's true when you are reading Troy Did him finding out his kids' teachers' names prompt you to go find out your kids' teachers' names? No, but I think it's important. No, I do think it's important. And the reason I think it's important is because we're dropping off our kids with these people that we don't even know.

Like, you know what I mean? You know how insane that is when you actually think about it? Our actual souls, our hearts outside of our body, we're just dropping them off with adults all day and don't even know their names. But that's how important the woman it is in your household because you're only okay with it because you know your wife going to hold. the damn and she's okay. Duh. But knowing the names, did it change anything for you for what he's talking about, like a sense of security outside of your wife?

Of course. I set up like, I mean, I do a lot. You know, I got jobs. I got gigs. But like, I was like, babe, I'm going to set up the parent teacher conferences. You know, so just like doing that, getting that done, which is like, oh, my God, you have to. It's a blood sport.

It's really a blood sport because people are, and it's all online. So, I mean, it took up time and it's very stressful, but I got it perfect. I was right saying that is a lot. That is a lot. Which is why, you know, women do it. But like you, it's something about dad being able to, you know, go and have a conversation with your teacher. Oh, yeah. Because mom, sometimes, I don't always feel like it, you know.

So when your kid runs up, it's good. Go tell dad about Ms. Gimble Gamble, Gammell. Yeah, yeah. Miss Waffle bottom. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. That's why I can't remember the name. Yeah.

Yeah. They change every year. You know, like, like, you know what it was was like, I feel, I feel, you know, I feel like doing that, some of the system, right? Sometimes it's the water, not the shark, right? We're always worried about the shark. Man's not doing this, that, and the third, but it's the water, too. It's how the system is set up.

If something goes wrong at school, my name's at the top of that emergency contact list. I made sure it was this year. They're like skip, they go down to my wife, and I have to hear about a third party. I was like trying to make some disappointments for my kids, like tooth cleaning. I call up, I'm like, listen, I need to know about Izzy and Malcolm's tooth cleaning. are they set for whatever they were like the mom already knows this and I was like what they're like oh the mom already knows this information are you divorced I'm like no first of all but they're like only divorced dads call and do that kind of stuff right so it's like the system

is is rigged against men in to an extent we play a role in massagin we all play a role in misogyny right so it's like you can have agents of misogyny that don't want to see men do the right thing. And they can be women. You know what I'm saying? Like, so it's like, that factors in. But still don't ever say that to me on the phone. Like, are you divorced?

You can't have bussed out and kids because you really are. You know what I'm saying? It was South Brooklyn. So it's different. She was like, divorced. I bet you're divorced, right? We got another divorced line. Dad on the line, Carol.

You know, like that's what it was. But, you know, you recover from that. It wasn't, you know, and just know that that is, oh, okay, that's the state of play. That's the atmosphere. It was your written. Yeah, I mean, it's a low bar, though. I was walking my kids across the street in South Street Seaport,

and, like, this lady looked at me, and she goes, now there's a dad right there. I was like, I'm not doing shit, but holding their hands. Like, you're like that. I guess, okay. Yeah, I'll take it. I guess it's not to a lot of people. It's unusual to see, but, you know, I've seen it all my life,

but I understand why. Well, that's beautiful. That's beautiful. What you're saying about your dad, that's amazing. It is unique. And it's, you know what? I found a lot. Also, I have three wonderful aunts.

And my eldest aunt, my aunt, Sabitha, who's amazing college professor, is such a wonderful woman. Her husband is exactly like that. Exactly like that. But it took a three, that's the third husband now. Uncle Charles is great. You know, she's a child.

Third time to charm. Yeah. If somebody read show a plan only applied one habit. One habit. What's the one small action that you think could change the relationship more? Have a plan. just have a plan

get I mean this is not an endorsement for the resi app but get a get an app like that because you deserve like your partner deserves like dinner plans whatever it is keep that I say keep that candle burning and make sure that you got a backup because we're so expecting

you know her to want to do something what about you you got to research things like I'm a very fun dad I will take my kids to like, you name it, whatever. We'll go to like, let's go to Yankee Stadium. Then we'll go to get ice cream and, you know, like, we're going to go see dolphins. You know, like, that's me. But I just needed to divert some of that back to my wife.

You said you didn't want to just be the fun dad. You wanted to be the responsible partner. Yes, yes. But my wife wanted that fun too. And I was leaving that out and playing like a game against her. So, but, but one thing, but one thing. today you know download an app like that

make it really the res app right the rezzi right the resi app too oh risi app what's the number one dating app you know if you know they say the Riz you got God got you I don't know anything about that

Charlemagne Rezzi Reservation it's the number one AI dating assistant Charlemay what you're trying to do to me at the end of the show I'm divorced Be your own people.

This was to be your own people. Crabs in a barrel. Crabs in a barrel. Can you, I saw you talk to the New York Times about this too. You were telling them that being a fun dad, almost ruining your marriage. Yesterday I was watching Stanley K. Brown and Ryan Michelle Bath, his wife, his wife, on Michelle Obama's podcast. And they were having a conversation about preparing to be empty nesters and how you have to like figure out being together again. Can you talk about kind of what now your dynamic is with your wife because your kids are still in the house.

but you realize you got to be with your partner. Absolutely. So most weekends, like, if she's not going to go out with her girls, then we will go out together. I love that. You know, we look forward to, like, having a night out. Like, my mother-in-law lives real close to us, so we just drop up the kids.

I got babysitters on death. Yeah, yeah, you got to have that. The village, that village. But she's, again, the Brooklyn, get you a Brooklyn person, you know what I'm saying? They got the connect. They got the hookup. So it's like, we just do that. And then we go out.

And then, like, during the week, we try to play hooky. So, like, because I write from home, work from home, and she, like, only, she has three nights a week of teaching. Like, during the day, we can be around. So, like, we'll go to, like, what's the place? Bathhouse, which is really great. Oh, the spa. Yeah, the spa. Yeah, get lunch on a Wednesday.

Don't, like, because we both are home and we have, I mean, I'm very fortunate and very blessed that I can just be like, you want to do the spot tomorrow. She's like, yeah, let's do it, you know, or get lunch or whatever it is. So you got to keep it spicy and chop it up all the time. And if you, and that's, we're preparing ourselves for that. I mean, like, our kids are 13 and 9, so we got a couple more years. It goes by fast, man. It does. How old are your kids?

My oldest is 17th. She'll leave me for college this fall. Wow. But then I have a 10-year-old, 7-year-old, and 4-year-old. So, you know, I get a time. It goes by fast. It does go by so fast. It goes by real fast, but just keeping that spirit alive

and keeping, like, the fun that you have for your kids, even if you divert a little bit. You know what I'm saying? For her, that's what's up, because we just get resentments. And I'm like, you don't deserve that fun. I'm going to put it over here. She didn't let you watch the game.

She didn't let you watch the game. I mean, in peace. You know what I mean? But it wasn't, it wasn't about like, the game is, it's not that. It's just the cowboys have, it's been a one-sided relationship, abusive relationship for so long that I was like,

I got to listen. I got to do something. I got to get out. I got to get out. You know? And I just want you to check on them. I don't believe in roles, right? Okay.

I believe in everybody doing what they're the best at. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Women are the best at cleaning. Women are the best at. Oh my God. Like, we've come.

No, let them. Don't stop. Counsel. Let them keep going. I'm not saying that we can learn. So no roles. Just what are your best at. What are women are the best at?

Women are the best at organizing. Like, they hold that down. Oh, don't patronize it. I'm better as a worker. You're better as a worker. Okay. Were they not working in that example? You said they were holding it down and doing everything.

No, I'm better off working for them. You know what I mean? Okay, okay. So I'm there for like moral support. I'll get you to broom. I'll go get, you know what I mean? Yeah. What are you doing?

Charlemagne. And you afford to open a house for your wife. I will open a window when you clean in the bathroom. Wow. Wow. You will open the window so that don't do too much in the crowd. I don't know, son they're supervised

of a cleaning company. Like, do you mean? You just help. What are you doing? No, no, no, no, no, I love everything you do. Wow. She's mad. She's got it better than all of us, George.

How did I put? Thank you. Thank you for your service. Thank you for Joe. Don't do all. He's Mexican and blacks. Oh, okay. Like me.

Like Carlos. Yeah. No, no, no. I'm African-American. But I'm like Latino. Like, people think I'm Latin. They think I'm out. I'm Latino.

I'm Latino. Nah, son. Like that's me. Thank you for your service. In these times. These, okay. I was just saying, in the atmosphere, that's all. I can, I mean, I'm the same way.

No, Chalkley is good. The most important thing about Cholplay to be is it will help you with your emotional labor. Yes. You know what I mean? That's what I think. Yes. Yes, your empathy, emotional labor. I got very lucky.

Like, my grandmother had Alzheimer's when I was a kid. So I learned what it was like to take care of somebody that maybe like, is with respect, respectfully, you know, like their faculties are going away. Right. So I had, that was put on me early, so I was like empathetic to that. So learning that is definitely, yeah, it's a certain kind of intelligence, you know, and I think we need to up that. Men need to up that completely.

We're always told to be cold and stoic and things like that, but you got to go back, way back. When you had like, you feel for your person. You know, you don't have to feel for everybody. But if you feel for your person, what they're going through, even on little things. I wrote this book because I read a book about a guy that just didn't put his glass in the sink when his wife would ask him for years. And she divorced him because of that. So just like taking in what people want from you.

And if you know what makes people upset, then you know what makes them happy. And just doing that thing and putting your arms around it instead of your head around it. I think, like, you'll be much better off, you know. Joy players available everywhere you get books right now. Tell them to follow you, Jordan. You can follow me on Instagram. I'm one of one. My name's Jordan Carlos.

Follow me there. I'm also, my website's Jordan Carloscom. I'm on all the things, the TikTok and all that. So this has been amazing. Thank you so much, y'all. I really appreciate it. My guy, Jordan Carlos, Chorplay is out right now, man. Go pick it up.

It might save your marriage. It might save your marriage. The marriage saving magic. You're getting your head out your house. Thank you for joining us. Thank you. Thank you. It's the breakfast club.

Oh no. Every day I wake up. Wake your ass up. The breakfast club. You're on finish or y'all's done. On the serving pancakes podcast, conversations about volleyball go beyond the court. Today we have a little best friend compatibility test. Okay.

How long have we been best friends? Since the day we met. As the League One volleyball season heads towards its final stretch, there's no better time to tune in. You'll hear unfiltered analysis, behind the scene stories and conversations with leaders making an impact across the sport. Whether you're following the final push of love season or just love the game, serving pancakes brings you closer to the action and the people shaping the future of volleyball. Open your free IHeart Radio app, search Serving Pancakes, and listen now. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports.

10, 10 shots five, City Hall building. How could this have happened in City Hall? Somebody tell me that. A shocking public murder. This is one of the most dramatic events that really ever happened in New York City politics. I scream, get down, get down. Those are shots. A tragedy that's now forgotten and a mystery that may or may not have been political. That may have been about sex.

Listen to Rorschach, murder at City Hall on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. In 2023, Bachelor star Clayton Eckerd was accused of fathering twins. But the pregnancy appeared to be a hoax. You doctored this particular test twice, Ms. Owens, correct? I doctored the test ones. It took an army of internet detectives to uncover a disturbing pattern. Two more men who'd been through the same thing. Greg, a lesbian.

Michael Mancini. My mind was blown. I'm Stephanie Young. This is Love Trapped. Laura, Scottsdale Police. As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences. Listen to Love Trapped podcast on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Ready for a different take on Formula One?

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