The Breakfast Club - Best Of Full Interview: Rome & Jess Hilarious Unpack Their Co-Parenting Relationship + More

Episode Date: December 31, 2024

Best of 2024 - Recorded March 2024 - Rome & Jess Hilarious Unpack Their Co-Parenting Relationship. Listen For More!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Wake that ass up. Early in the morning. The Breakfast Club. Morning, everybody. It's DJ, Envy, Jess, Hilarious, Charlamagne, the guy. We are The Breakfast Club. We got a special guest in the building. Because today is National Co-Parenting Day.

Yes. So we had to bring in a man who I feel like him and Jess have one of the best co-parenting relationships I've ever seen. That's right. Rome is here. Rome is here. What's up, bro? I got in trouble already, Rome, because of you. You got a tune already? I got ever seen. That's right. Rome is here. Rome is here. What's up, Rome?

I got in trouble already, Rome, cause of you. You got a tune already? I got in trouble cause of you already. Why, what happened? Just say, I wanna know who gave Rome some liquor this morning. And I was like, I ain't give it to him, I just told him where the bar was. And he said, help yourself.

Help yourself. Yeah, that's fine. You said it was apple juice. And Ty was about to take a sip and I was like, uh-uh. No it was not, you already knew it wasn't apple juice. I just ain't thank you, I was gonna pick the cup up. Okay. You and Jess have the best co-parenting situation

I've ever witnessed. How did y'all get to this point, bro? And she thinks she my mother first and foremost. But it took time. It took time. I felt like when you take the feelings out of it, and you realize that the child is the most important part of the relationship, because it's still a relationship,

whether y'all intimate or not, you can do magical things, magical things. And I think that me being a dad that I was and that I am still today, I wanted that. I felt like if we wasn't gonna be together, there was no need for us to beef. We've created over time, whereas now she's my best friend, she's my safe space, I feel like I can vent to her because sometimes, all the time, I need it.

But I feel like when I was pointing to these other women, they would use it against me. Whereas though now, and now that she's pregnant, I don't really call her and say certain things because I know she going through certain things mentally now, so Jess has always been my safe space though. So it's like she's always been a person that I go to, I call, give me advice, some advice I don't take,

but just to hear her give it to me, just to know that she care, because I don't take but just to hear her give it to me, just to know that she care. Because I don't really have nobody. How did y'all meet? How did you meet Jess and how did y'all start dating back then? Where did you see her when it was like, oh, this is somebody I want to holla at? It's crazy because we grew up in the same-

Starting to smile, he's starting to smile, he going back. No, because we grew up in the same church, but we didn't know. We didn't know. My mom, when my mom was alive, my mom died when I was 10. When my mom was alive, we went to the same church. My mom died, my father really took me away from everybody. So now it was like, fast forward, I'm like 17.

It's Facebook. Now it's after Myspace. It's Facebook. And she came across my timeline. And I was like, okay. So I did a dot, dot, dot dot and I put a basketball emoji. Mm-hmm. Well, you thought you were the WNBA player? No, just shut up man. No Play with you. No, she bid on it too. Okay, she bit

She was like what I forgot what she said, but I was like I was just I think I was like I'm just coming to get my ball coming to get was mine something like that. What the fuck is this? And you why the basketball room? I need to know I think I was like, I'm just coming to get my ball, coming to get what's mine, something like that. And I said, what the fuck is this? And you was like. Why the basketball room? I need to know. I seen it somewhere. What, loving basketball? No, I seen somebody do that.

Like, I don't know where I seen it, man. You gotta understand this one. You put a basketball in the messages. This is 11 years, 12 years ago. So I'm like, I don't know. I did it because I thought it was corny, but I thought it was, you know. But it worked. It got attention. What'd you think, Jess, when you saw the basketball? I just, I said it because I thought it was corny, but I thought it was, you know. But it worked.

It got our attention. What'd you think, Jess, when you saw the basketball? I just said, I said, what the fuck is this? Okay. I just typed it back and he was like, he said, it was my ball, it's my ball, and I'm coming to get it. Or something like that, I'm coming to get what's mine.

And I was like, oh, okay, what's up? I already knew what that was giving, what it was. It worked, you wanna bounce it? Okay, what's up? But it worked. It did. It worked. So y'all started talking, where was y'all first date? When you started first talking, what it was. You wanna bounce it? But it worked. It worked. So y'all started talking, where was y'all first date? When you started first talking, what was y'all?

To be honest, man, Jessica did a lot. I'ma say this, before a lot of these young guys became Jodie, I was Jodie. Mm. And our first date, big date, I'm gonna say it was Six Flags. Okay, okay, all right, that's doing it big. I never had a birth certificate after my mom died. It was here.

My dad didn't wanna come here to get it. In New York. Yeah, in New York. Cause you was born in Brooklyn, right? I was born in Staten Island. Staten Island, okay. So my dad didn't wanna get it, so for a long time I just had a college ID. I was born in Staten Island. Staten Island, okay. So my dad didn't wanna get it, so for a long time I just had a college ID.

I was driving on a college ID. But Jessica was the simplest one to let me drive with no ID. I meant with no license. I was responsible though. So I used to work at the car wash. I used to clean it, shine it up, gel on the tires and hold it in our yards.

But our first date was Six Flags. That morning I went to get my permit before we left for Six Flags, but I failed. I went in there on my high horses, that's why I failed. Our first big date was Six Flags. The written test. No, it was written, but it was computer. Go written.

Yeah, written. That test is difficult, I go from it. That test is difficult, too. I failed the one where it said put on your high bangs or your low bangs when it's raining or something like that or when it's the ground most slippery. Did you have shades on when you took the test? Nah. Okay.

I ain't really wear shades like that thing. I did, but there was another, no, yeah. But first big date, Six Flags. But before that we did a lot of other things, but after that, we did a lot. She introduced me to a lot. Actually, we both was the same age but she helped make me become well got mature becoming a man yeah coming a man and then um yeah didn't boom now Jess always says that you are you were over protective make sure she was good but

she always said you can't fight oh my my God. No, she never seen me fight. No. I never had to. Rome, we fought. I got that from. She didn't say that. Of course I'm not. Of course I'm not gonna fight her, bro.

Oh, it's crazy, cause I just got a picture from the window you bust a mouse. She busted your window out your car? No, one window without fists. What? What happened? Oh, you can't be her then. If she could break a window from a fist out,

I wouldn't even try to fight that. What happened, Rome? Rome had to take a sip thinking about that. That's triggering to him. What happened? You want to know the real story? Oh, gosh. Alright. I was just talking about, I was just in North Carolina this weekend. I was just talking about this. Like how my stepbrothers was like corny and shit, right?

Like Jessica pull up. Mind you, we ain't together. Jessica pulls up. I had a girl in the house. So my brother like, he come to the top of the steps, like wrong. Jessica said to the dude, I'm like, all right, here I come. The nigga don't even wait for me to come. He let her in.

He let her in. Oh boy. I walked right past him and his friends with the girl. Jessica get in, friends with the girl. That's good, get in. Come down the steps. Right as she rolls. But what did I see when I walked down the steps, Jerome? You didn't see.

So then she tries to facade this story. Ashton, I had a portable rocking bassinet. We could put it in the trunk, send it to her, bring it back. Ashton was in a portable rocking joint. Me and the girl was on the bed. I had on basketball shorts, she had on her uniform pants. She gonna say she's been saying this forever. She was in the middle there?

She was the CO. She was the CO. She was the CO. This is correctional officer. Was she in the middle of time? No, great, she was correctional officer. So like she's sitting, she's facing me, but her legs is like, you know how that go.

Jessica, she gonna say, oh, we was naked, we was not naked. If we was naked, it would have been happening. I don't get naked and sit up. Was she topless? No, she had a shoulder on. Oh my gosh, she's never gonna tell the truth. Anyway, she banged the girl. You beat up the girl?

No, she didn't beat up, she banged her. I just like popped her, she fell off. And I picked her up, and walked up the stairs and threw her outside. Rome, you could never lift me. No, you never, no. Y'all see what I'm saying? She never wants to, she never wants to admit the truth.

So hold on, the CEO couldn't fight? No, I ain't no. I don't know if she could fight or not, but she hit her one time and then she got up, then she put on her uniform and went and left, went upstairs and she left. The truth is, no, I promise you, I wish it was iPhones and cameras.

Demi, you started fighting. That, that, no. I didn't fight you. And then my iPhones and cameras. You started fighting. That, no. I didn't fight you. And then my son was not in no portable nothing. He was on the floor on a blanket and the cat was looking at him like he wanted to eat him. Yes it was. What the hell bro?

Check this out. My basement had cement under the carpet. So I would never lay my, I wouldn't even lay on the floor. So why was my son on the floor? My son was in a portable bassinet. Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna argue about this for 11 She was drunk out of her mind and I'm trying to figure out work You did not get off where you was fired at that time, so no I got fired right after that I was working at McDonald's

That's when I was stealing out the register overnight. This is great. This is so much Gradle love. I love it. And then if I was drinking, okay, I was drinking on the job, but I was at work. So, and then I came to get my son and yeah. No, you did not come get your son because it was my weekend. You were getting him until Monday from daycare. Why were you coming? No, you was coming to be nosy. I didn't have to come to me. I was like, I was shit. And you found what you was looking for.

She had a passenger with her. If you coming to get your son, come and get your son. I mean, my cousin Nicole, yep. I want her to go with me. I need somebody to come to me. Yeah, she had a passenger with her if you See Go home 11 years you throw my Hand I walked out seen this car. No, she threw ass out Not that you was not that strong. Yeah, you I'm telling you, I had you and it was steps. You jazzy jaffed it. Oh! Yeah, that, right there. He could never ever, even right now, could not do that to me.

Why you hit the window though? Why you hit the car? Because she knew that word. Because I was just really, really mad because he wouldn't give me my son. She's a liar. He wouldn't give me my son. You called the police on me, going to try to say his stepmother didn't. I didn't call the police.

You called the police. I never called the police on him. You called the police on him? No, I didn't call the police. I don't know how to police. He said he'd go to jail. You went to jail? I went to call the police. You called the police. You said she called the police on him? Yeah, he said leave to jail. Listen, pause, pause, pause. Listen, hold on, everybody hear this. I need everybody to hear this. Where I'm from, the jail is right there. Right around the corner.

You can walk, it's two minutes. So they heard the commotion. They walked to us. I don't know how they came. I thought my stepmother called, my godmother called. One of them, it was my stepmother house, my godmother house. Somebody called, because I didn't call the police.

My phone was cracked, because of... You cracked his phone call cuz I ain't call the police my phone was cracked cuz uh you crack this phone but he can still everybody in the house had a phone he called my he called the police on me and then going and then when the police came I was I just sat in my car I was mad I was like no I can't move it again my son Nicole Nicole did tell me yo come on let's pull off he's not giving you the baby he not give you the baby I was like all right cool but I was mad on, let's pull off. He not giving you the baby. He not giving you the baby. I was like, all right, cool. But I was mad, so I didn't pull off. Police paddy wagon pulled up and got out. And you was like, she right there.

She right there. And she ain't even pulled off yet. So they won't stop. How did I try to get you locked up when I'm the same old call trying to bail you out with no money? I don't know why you ever thought you could bail somebody out with no money. I ain't sleep that you ever thought you could bail somebody out with no money.

I ain't sleep that night. You trying to get out. You put her in jail and you trying to bail out? Listen, check this out. You ever went through a woman phone? Of course. Could you eat after that? Yes.

You could? Well, I couldn't. I'm comparing that to when she went to jail, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, you know? And I was sick. You was sick? I didn't want her in jail. Why the fuck would I call the police? So how did you punch the window? That's what we was talking about. I had walked up to it and I was sick. I didn't want her in jail. Why the fuck would I call the police?

So how did you punch the window? I had walked up to it and then was just like, then I just punched the window. What kind of car was it? He had a Honda. A Honda, cool. A Honda 4 door. A V6.

I know it was fresh. No, it was my first car. She didn't like it when I got it. She was jealous. Now, you had a lot more freedom to cheat. I had freedom once I got it. Very much. She couldn't call me, so she'd bring me my car back, Jodie.

I never called you that. She couldn't call me. I never called you that anyway. She took me to get the car. I ain't never seen nobody want to be tired of you so bad. When we got the car, she was like, I don't like this shit. I said, yeah, so this mean you really be doing you. Cause you was doing you, he would drop me off to work

and go act like he in class. I was an A student then. I was going right there to BCCC for my associates. That's how I did. I went to class. Cause guess what? You got off work two o'clock. You had to be to work six o'clock.

So I was getting up 5 a.m. every morning. We got to your work. We got to your job by 5 45. I got out of class at 1 30. Did my homework for the 15 minutes, came to Cold Spring, make downs, and picked you up, then we went home. That was my routine Monday through Friday.

Now what? You're skipping a lot of things. But it's okay. Did you hurt your hand? Did you hurt your hand? No, it didn't hurt until I got in jail. I ain't gonna lie. That's when I got in jail.

But listen. No, it ain't hurt until she sobered up. This is the crazy thing. I was not that drunk. So then when I got to the jail. But she used to drink 1800. Guess who did my intake? God damn! Guess who did my intake?

God damn! No, guess who did my intake? The damn girl who was with him. The one that you punched? Yep, yes. She went, she clocked in the dude. That's what you're saying. Wait, wait, wait.

She's like, I'm on my way. She did my intake, the same girl that I popped, yo. She did it, but she didn't say nothing because she couldn't be caught up enough. I'm like, daddy, oh, she woulda got fired. Yeah, she lost her job. She did right. I straight told her, like, yeah,

cause I was like, oh, absolutely. As soon as I got there, I said, oh wow, how could you actually wanna fuck with a nigga who laid his baby in a cat's face on the carpet? I ain't mad at that. I ain't mad at you jumping on that woman, Jess. Because you don't know what she could have tried to do to you in that situation.

So you got to put everything on the table. I was like, ghetto will be gotten. And that's what it was. So now when you hear this story, and you say to yourself, why are they there on National Co-parent Day? Because they are like the best of friends now. Jess calls you her brother. How do you feel about that?

How did y'all get there? Do you look at her like your sister? Cause you said mama. I was gonna say what you said you created that. She act like my mama when we out of town and shit. She act like my mama. Now I ain't gonna disclose too much, but she thinks she my mama.

No, I just know. She likes to control. Like she know how I am though. Like me, I'm a loner. I think part of that controlling part is like, okay, where am I at bro? It could be 20 of us. I don't wanna be with y'all.

So guess what I'ma do? And he can go out of town with these 20 people and then be like, all right. I'm like, no. We could be all on a Sprinter. What's going on? No. We be all on a Sprinter, whatever state we go to.

I'm not even gonna go in a rental or slingshot or something. It better not be raining. But I think that controlling part comes in because she cares and sometimes, especially when I'm under the influence, I've done dumb ass shit. So I think-

As good as you know that you can admit that. Yeah, I've done dumb ass shit. I don't know if you heard Justice Sister in the back. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, please tear it down. Everybody, like, you know, everybody know that. But I hold myself accountable to that, mind you. Now, I ain't gonna say what I learned from one mistake because I done did the dumb ass shit over and over again.

But I think in that aspect, that's when the mother, the mother with the V coming. But the brother, her calling me brother and sister, but like, honestly, without the child, like, it is there. It's seen, like, cameras on, cameras off. Like, you can't fake this or make this shit up. Oh yeah, Rome started that. Rome started calling me sis first.

And then I started calling him bro. I, you know, I'm like, yeah, we do have like a sibling dynamic in some way, you know. He still confides in my mom. He like, my mom is our mother. Like it's not, it ain't nothing crazy. It's nothing intimate. Like seriously, I always say this,

people be like, yeah right, I can literally walk past this, and I don't do this, but I'm saying, I can walk past this man naked, and he does, and they be like, girl what? Like put that out, I'm talking about seriously, like, it's not. How do y'all deal with each other's spouses,

or each other's boyfriend and girlfriend? Like how do you deal with his girl, and how do you deal with, with, uh oh, roll the coin. Now, Ron, she told us you had 17 baby mamas. Five. Five, okay. I never told you he had no damn seven.

I thought you said like that. Everybody always try to times two and shit like that. It's cool though, it's cool, I get it. I say a five. But, this was the friction part. Now we got over that, but the friction part was, I'm out of my business, I don't get in her shit. But the friction part was her getting into out of my business, I don't get in her shit. But the friction part was her getting into mines.

But she's still a woman, I'm still a man. So women tend to do that. And this is not, no shame to women, I don't mean no disrespect by saying it, but I think women tend to do that, especially a woman that care about you. She said that sometimes you make bad decisions and she's there as your sister to make sure you good. Regardless if it's life, relationship or whatever.

She said that on there before. With me personally, I never really like, I talk to her about certain things, but I never really like my family to get into no intimate situation. Because guess what? Y'all can feel a way about this person however y'all want, whether it's negative or good. If I'm gonna deal with this person, I'm gonna deal with her. Like, the female can smack shit out me yesterday. I might get over it and fuck her tomorrow. But it's like, that's why I always, that's how I was always able to distinguish the two.

Like when Jessica with her men, when she come to me, like I don't know, I ain't never pillow talking or sneak dissing or nothing. Like, I don't really care if it ain ain't nothing a nigga have that I don't, if you put it in that sense. But when she come to me with a man, I tell her, I ain't right. But both of y'all gotta care though,

because you gonna wanna know who around your son, she gonna wanna know who around her son. I never did though. Yeah. So in the beginning stage, yeah. Don't have this nigga around my son, but yeah. I grew out of that. So now it's, I trust my child mom enough

to she won't bring no fuck shit around my child. So I don't say, oh, don't have this nigga around my son, but yeah, I grew out of that. So now it's, I trust my child mom enough to she won't bring no fuck shit around my child. So I don't say, oh, don't have this nigga around my child. That's never been a problem. What has been a problem was motherfuckers envy me, except for my last dog. Yeah, my dog, that's my dog. Who's the dog? My dog, Chris.

Chris, okay, so it's Chris. My dog, that's my dog. I ain't gonna hold you, I think he's the, I think, like, me, honestly, me. Chris, okay, I like Chris. My dog, it's my dog. I ain't gonna hold you, I think he's the, I think. Like, me, honestly, me and Jess, man, like I think it's been times where a woman didn't like me and her situation. But guess what, bye. Yeah, more so on, and yeah, it'll be more so on his end

because it's much more of them. But the thing is, yeah, the thing is like, I don't like when, cause I even tell him when he doing wrong too, like yo, don't treat her like that. This is not, how, how, how you going to introduce me to her? Now I, now I got to know her, you know, and whether she had a kid or not,

most of the time is the ones that have the kids, but it's like, yo, you gotta be, do right, or just be single. Like don't keep hurting women in the process of trying to find what you're looking for. I mean, I know that's all a part of dating, but when you have kids, it's different, you know? And then he'd be like,

ah, that's why I don't like you to be getting into it, you know, and then I don't like, he attracts a lot of toxic women to like abusive relationships where women will put their hands on them. I'm like, what? Yeah, all right, you know, but he don't, he's like, no, but I might be fucking with it tomorrow. What?

She just blacked her eye. What are you talking about? You know what I'm saying? Like, no, we not doing it, but. Claire, I never had a black eye. Okay, well, she bust your nose, whatever. Women have put their hands on you. That's the friend you need.

And that's why she's my dog. I think she's the only one, really honestly, to wanna get the fuck under my skin. Like a certain wordplay she used. And I don't care what tone she uses in. But to say that, it's like, Rhymes really never taught her how to love. Like, I lost my mom at 10 years old, my heart.

I moved with my dad. And when I moved with my dad, I didn't move my dad and my stepmom, which is my mom now. Me and my mom have a great relationship, that's my stepmom. And my dad was married, but my dad was cheating. Like, my dad was cheating, bro, my dad showing me shit that, bro like, I'm thinking cool.

So like when, even when I started dealing with women and stuff like that, multiple women and all that, my dad was like, yeah son, uh-uh. Absolutely. And I'm thinking it's cool. Cause that's what we been taught. That's what I'm seeing, that's what I'm being taught. Like, and every man in my life that I looked at

as a role model to me was the same way. Same. So it's like, what you expect, but the good thing is now is like, I'm old enough now, and mind you, I ain't perfect now. I'm seeing it, I'm trying to change it, but I never was taught to love properly. So, and I never, my trust issues was fucked up from my dad.

Like bro, my trust issues was fucked up before I even met her. Because I'm seeing what he's doing. But I'm seeing when it's done to him, his reactions. Like damn, my nigga, you was just doing this, how you gonna get mad? Right? So it's like, every relationship I went into,

I had an expiration date. Me, I put an expiration on myself. I said, she gonna get what she gonna get, I'm gonna get what I'm getting, I had an expiration date. Me, I put an expiration on myself. I said, she gonna get what she gonna get, I'm gonna get what I'm getting, I'm gone. So I never really gave a woman the, what's the word I'm looking for? I never really gave a woman. Commitment?

Not even commitment, but I never gave the woman a chance to really love me. But even with the kids, like even having kids with other women? Nah, I had, and this is, like I said, no disrespect to my children moms, a lot of my children came out of vulnerability. Explain, expound on that.

And I'm gonna explain that. So I will meet a woman who I may feel like she, it's what I need, another safe place or whatever the case may be, but I'm already vulnerable from a previous relationship. Have a child, knowing I don't wanna be with this woman. I don't want her, I don't, I really don't wanna be with her, but I feel like I'm forced to be with her

because it's a child. And I've done that, you know. Multiple times. Multiple times. You needed a therapist, not another baby model. Correct. Yeah. But at the time of need, at the time of vulnerability, You needed a therapist, not another baby model. Correct. Yeah. But you were- At the time of need, at the time of vulnerability, you know, women can, they be masked up.

You be masked up. And also, you know, just on the accountability part, which he has taken over his recent years, is like, you was looking for like your mom in women, and you would never get that, You know what I'm saying? Because you was trying to look for an emotional connection with nurturing also and then like you was really, really searching for Keisha.

Keisha's his mother. You were really searching for her and women, that's a different type of love, you know what I mean? I think different women, why always that with different women a different type of love, you know what I mean? Like intimacy, relationship. I think different women, why I always dealt with different women, because different women has certain, what is it?

Certain things that. Certain aspects of her, certain aspects of her, but like, I never knew how to be alone, bro. Like, I would be single, in my own apartment and all that, and let it go and go move with a woman, because I never knew, really, I don't know how to,

I don't like being lonely. Like so it's like a lot of the times when, and I say this, this shit is real, like I don't know if a lot of other men like me, but when being lonely, bro, you go through, so I don't give a fuck how much money you got, I don't care about none of that. But like I never really knew how to be alone.

Like I feel like I gotta have somebody laying next to me. Because even before my mom died, my mom used to sleep naked. This is a back then thing. How old were you when your mother passed? I was 10, but I was a mommy's boy. Did you ever really properly grieve? So grieving, no.

I never really grieved. All I did was I thought it was gonna help me by going to school for social work, because that's what she was. But I never really properly grieve. And that's a process now. I do want to get back in the gym. I do want to get a therapist, but I want everything else around me to be intact so

that I could fully commit because if I ain't fully committed, it ain't going to work. And then also, I also feel like your dad didn't get you any type of food. No, my dad, my honestly, I felt like me personally, and this is probably the first time I said this, I think my father really wanted me for a check. And exactly what I said, the money. And lied to me for so long. I lost a scholarship because of my dad.

Because at the time where I wanted to go, I wanted to get away from them. So I had a couple scholarships. I had like over 30 acceptances. I got it. So y'all this is Questlove and I'm here to tell you about a new podcast I've been working on with the Story Pirates and John Glickman called Historical Records.

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Did you know, did you know I wouldn't give up my seat Nine months before Rosa, he was Claudette Colvin Get the kids in your life excited about history by tuning in to Historical Records because in order to make history, tuning in to Historical Records because in order to make history, you have to make some noise. Listen to Historical Records on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I was sent to a school in Florida. I think they asked, did your mom leave you money? Yeah, my mom left me money. Oh yeah, because I thought maybe the government gave you a check every now and then. No, no. My mom left money, my mom was getting money, and you know, social security stuff. So I was like, my dad was making bank. Like I didn't even say the calculation,

the calculation was crazy. What's your relationship with your dad now? We okay. You know, we all right. He, you know, he's still living with that regret, and I feel like that's why we can't really get there. But yeah, I feel like my dad wanted me for a check, man. How'd you lose the scholarship though?

He didn't finish that? I lost the scholarship. I lost the scholarship because August, like two weeks before school was supposed to start, I had got a, I was leaving. My mom's side, they bought all my dorm stuff and all of that. All my life, my father always said, yeah, when you get 18, you gonna have money, you can go get your car, you can go do what you want,

you go to school, whatever the case may be, all right, cool. I get 18, I graduate. It's nothing there. I asked my father, I'm like, wow. It's still no answer though, my father never even answered. So, mind you, I know I got a partial scholarship, so a partial scholarship with the, you paying the school and room and board,

at the school I was going to, that was about 16, 17 thousand a semester. I had like a 42 thousand dollar partial joint. So my dad was always saying, all right, I gotta rest. I gotta rest. So two weeks before I was supposed to leave, so a month before I was supposed to leave, my family got all my darn stuff. A weeks before I was supposed to leave, so a month before I was supposed to leave my family got all my darn stuff.

A week before I was supposed to leave my father called me up to the room and he like, I ain't even going to say what he said. He like, you can't go to school. I'm like, why not? Like, nigga, I'm an A student. I work hard for this. I was an athlete, I was a student. I ain't get no offers from basketball my junior, senior years, so I gave up and said

fuck it, I'm gonna fall back on my grades. You always said I had the money. The money wasn't there. He spent it all. And you know, we turned 18, like 17 and a half, it stopped coming. But even if it come again when I'm 18, that's one check. All the rest gone. And my stepmother used to always tell him, and I love my stepmother for this,

and I wish I'd have known this when I was younger, but my stepmother used to always tell him, put that money up. But she never came to me because she didn't wanna overstep the boundaries of her husband. And I understood it. But now that I'm grown and we have conversations now, it's like, I understood it because my father

always tried to make people hate me. I hated my step-mother growing up, but it was never her, it was him. Lights didn't get cut off, we had Christmas because of my step-mother. My dues got paid, my senior dues, I'm talking about my middle school dues, mind you, bro, you're getting money

from me and my middle school dues. My step-mother paid them. My step-mother and my teachers paid them. High school dues, my step-mother paid them, and my friends, I got two friends, their mothers paid all that. So it was like my dad really crushed me, man. I told my dad a couple weeks ago, man,

I said, bro, you hate me, not literally saying you hate me, but you hate me so much because I caught your ways. I said, what's the difference between me, I'm young and I'm gonna change him. You 20 years older than me, you still doing the same thing. You wanna break those cycles. And it's not even me breaking a cycle, bro.

I just don't like being like this. I don't like hurting people. I don't like hurting women. I don't like, I never really hurt, I'm so loyal to my friends that any little disloyal thing they do to me, they cut off. So it's like, the shit be hurting, man. And it's like, damn, I already had nobody.

So then when I got a child, mom, I cherish it. And I tell her, bro, cherish the really ones you love. The really ones that's genuinely there for you. The ones that you ain't gotta do nothing for and I really love you, because guess what? At the end of the day, if shit go bad, they gonna be the ones you count on. You know there's this thing,

when you start going to therapy, you'll hear about it, it's this thing called the mother wound. And it's a type of attachment trauma that instills deeply rooted beliefs that make the child feel unloved, abandoned, unworthy of care and numb to their feelings. Does that feel like you? Maslow loss, Maslow loss.

It's done to you as a child, will affect you as an adult, but it will not define you. That's right. So it was like, it's crazy cause going to school was like, man, you reading this shit. I'm like, man, it's me. It's me. I'm was like, it's crazy, because going to school was like, man, you reading this shit. I'm like, man, it's me. It's me. I'm thinking of my own therapist,

but every therapist needs a therapist. And that's how they able to be effective. So it was like, man, I ain't have a bad upbringing, but I've been through some traumatic situations, man. And you know, they ain't gonna define me. Like them babies of mine, man, I love them babies. I feel like if it weren't for my babies, I would've crashed out.

Long time ago. Long time ago. And then I say I got them babies and out of all my, I got two children moms like that. My last one, you know, she may know harm by certain things, but I got that one and I got this one to my left, man, my dog, and it's like, she give me hope every day. She don't even know it.

Like even when, you know, we might not even argue, but every day I wake up, she doing, you all right, how you feeling? Just because I know that she need it. Like when you the shoulders and the head of families or communities, bro, it's a lot. Honestly, I think them people need it the most. So I give her her flyers every day

and I feel like, man, like without her, yeah. I think you're on the right path. You know, they say healing the mother wound first starts with acknowledging the pain. Correct. And then seeking professional help, which you wanna do, cultivating healthy relationships,

which y'all have done, and you focusing on self care and personal growth. Yeah, that's right. So you're definitely on the right path. It's gonna get there, man. It's time, take time, you know, but it'll be there. How did y'all, that's the most important thing, I won't say most important,

but one of the most important things, how did y'all realize we don't have feelings for each other no more? Like how did that just go away? Like y'all have, y'all love each other, but not in that way. I got my answer, you wanna go first? You can go first, what's yours? Cause I'm still thinking.

When I stopped caring about who she dealt with. Oh. When I wouldn't even like, what's yours? Cause I'm still thinking. When I stopped caring about who she dealt with. Oh. When I wouldn't even like, I wouldn't even care. Mm-hmm. Like, I'll take. Three years. So like when Ashton was like three. Yeah, he was still like really young.

Yeah. It was like three years, but honestly, that three years like, I I had caught a big check. So it was like, I was almost half a million dollar nigga. So it was like, the pain that I had, whatever the case may be, I would just buy shit to block it out. But other than that, like- You ain't try to stunt on her a little bit, though?

Oh, no, move back a little bit. No, I never stun her. No, I never. Yeah. No, I never. I'm waiting for that. I never intentionally stun it on her. I never did that, never. Okay. I did everything she possibly could ask me to do.

And she said on one of these shows, something about a BGE bill, and I'm gonna address that. I never wanted to address. That was on our show. That was on Co-Parents and Ann Reckless. I'm gonna address that now. What bill? That's an electric bill, right? So, I'm gonna address that. I never wanted to address. That was on our show, that was on Co-Parents and Ann Reckless. I'm gonna address that now with the bill. That's an electric bill, right? So I'm gonna explain it.

Her lights got cut off. You just got a $500,000 check and you don't like it? Listen, no, it wasn't right then and there. Okay. But it's over time because, Marjorie. What's wrong with that? So Marjorie, like Marjorie, a lot of my place, she helped me get a lot on the back end.

But in the time, I helped her whatever the case be. I didn't know she's moving with a man. I didn't move with a man. Well, she moved man in with her Yeah, yeah. All right. Okay after he had you in the dark, too No, no, this is my business. So I don't know that he not there. So boom. Here's his so his his my logic in I'm a say what I'm gonna say to her after I explain it. My logic was, all right, man is in the house, boom. B.J. Iggy cut off, right? I'm thinking like, damn. So she like, well, Rome, I'm like,

well, I'll take my son with me. But that wasn't me talking. That was the girlfriend I had talking. Oh shit, you ain't tell me that. I never told you that because as a woman, you ain't trying to hear that. And as a man and you being shit, you ain't tell me that. I never told you that because as a woman, you ain't trying to hear that. And as a man, and you being me, I don't want to hear that. So I didn't want to tell you that

because I'd have felt less of a man. Unball your fist, Jess. So yeah, so. But now, I understand them. Somebody else is smacking the cheeks, you pay that bill. So the girlfriend was like. Y'all living in their house. So the girlfriend was like.

Don't talk about no house. So listen. Now go ahead. So the girlfriend was like. Don't talk about no house. OK. Now go ahead. So the girlfriend was like, I took a certain amount of money out of the bank. I did. She was with me. She like, mind you, this certain amount of money,

I had to call because I was going to break it in half, give it to Jessica, and I take the rest. And I was going, me and Ashton. Me and Ashton, that's all I did, shot me and Ashton. So I was going gonna give it that, but the girl like, why you giving it to Jessica? I'm like, cause she need it. And she like, oh that's why I'm here,

cause of your money. I never said the reason. I never said the reason. Yeah, yeah, I never said the reason though. She was like, what exactly do she need? Cause I know you ain't giving her no, she don't need a bag or nothing like that. I'm like, no, it's something else.

She like, well, don't she got a nigga living with her? And mind you, I'm drinking at the time. You taking the same thing. I'm like. You weren't even thinking that till she said it. I wasn't thinking that, but I'm drinking. But when she say it, cause I'm not, like I said, bro, like wives and girlfriends,

I've seen men crumble and go against their family because of a wife or a girlfriend. I've seen it. And I'm like, you know what, you right. Why you ain't ask Jess though? Crazy. Why you didn't pick up the phone and say, Jess, what's up with you?

Because I was a young, emotional boy. Who had just ran into a bunch of money and a bunch of bitches came with that. No, fuck the bitches. Man, nigga, I'm hurt. My hurt young man got a lot of money. Everybody done fucked me over, nigga. I got some that. No, fuck the bitches. Every, I'm hurt. I'm hurt young man, got a lot of money. Everybody done fucked me over, nigga. I got some money.

I'm doing the fuck I want. I make myself happy. And that's how I'm nigga went broke. Like it was times when I'm not happy, but I go spend money just cause I'm not happy. Like, oh, that car just came out like that. Everybody except me, fuck you over. You feel me? Except her.

So that was why I was like, and granted, right now, on today, I'm gonna say I truly, sincerely apologize. What? For not taking care of you the way I should have. Do you accept that? And I'm gonna take my glasses off. Yeah.

Because for a long time, that shit hurt me. And it's like, I never ever ever, especially you, I never ever ever ever meant to do that to you. And it's like now that's why I even, I work so hard today and just try to even just give you something. But in due time that shit will come back. I ain't, you know, I done made that shit back,

went broke again, made it back, went broke again, but my biggest downfall to common denominator was alcohol and women. So that shit, them two problems never allowed me to really reach my full potential. Even when I seen it a couple years ago, you seen it, 2019 when I was single, when I went and moved back by myself,

I ran that motherfucker up. Flourish. I ran that motherfucker up. Flourish. I ran that bitch up. That's one thing I know how to do. I'm gonna run it up, but there'll be women holding me back, man. You ran into somebody. I'm sorry that I didn't do what I was supposed to do. And a lot of motherfuckers say, well, I wish I didn't just jar that one you dog.

I felt that was my duty. But because I had certain people in my ear that I thought had their best interests in me, but when that bag ran out, they left. I'm sorry. No, I'm not a sorry person, I apologize. Okay, I appreciate that. But listen, I was not, I was talking to a nigga. He moved in months after.

You think a nigga was gonna move into a dark house? You think I wanted a nigga to see how I was living? No, and when you say, I asked you like, yo, can you just get my lights on, I'll pay you back. That's when I was scamming and doing all that shit. That shit got slow too. So I'm like, all right, you was like, nah, I take my son, nobody taking my kid,

not even his father. Like as long as Ash was in the shade of the dark, we was good, you know what I'm saying? Like I still had candles, we was playing, we was doing all that, we would stay outside. That turned you up a notch. Until it went, until it got dark, and then we would go in the house, We still had candles. We was playing, we was doing all that. We would stay outside. That turned you up a notch. Until it went, until it got dark,

and then we would go in the house. He ain't never asked me why the lights ain't coming on. It don't matter. So as long as he was good, I was good. I just wanted to be able to call you baby. You know what I'm saying? And just be like, yo, get my life back home from me. And you should have.

But guess what? That made you a demon. And when I say demon, I say it in the best way. That turned you up. And I got to teach my kids, especially my oldest boy, my 11 year old, bro, like I don't want you to have to go through something bad to learn a lesson. I don't think everybody should have to go through

something bad to learn a lesson. But in your case, I feel like, yeah, that put that battery in your back. And no, when that battery came in your back, you ain't treat me no way. It took still a minute for us to create that bond. But y'all have it now and I think y'all both should give each other some grace because y'all was dumb.

Yeah, correct. And I always was a hurt young man. So, correct. But I love this story because it shows the foundation and how y'all are now and how y'all treat each other now. You know, I don't know you, but the way she talks about you on the radio and like you said, she is a mother, she protects you, she holds you down.

I just love to see it. Yeah. No, sometimes I be telling her, stop talking about Rome like that. He always do, but it's like. And you're like, why you be talking about Rome? But I get it, she don't mean no harm by it. No, she don't.

No, she don't mean no harm. Like I said, man, like I wish a lot of other people would take from us. And that's why this shit gotta be on TV. That's why y'all writing a book. Yeah, all that. Book coming, everything coming. Book coming.

Yes. Everything coming, man. There you have it. What do you think the most important thing, cause I want y'all to save a lot of this, but what's the most important thing it takes to co-parent? If y'all just, leave it on that, cause it's National Co-Parenting Day.

Yo, I'll take it, I'll start it off. Communication, like a lot of people be scared to hurt each other's feelings, and a lot of people be afraid to have uncomfortable conversations, whether it's about kids, unhashed differences, whatever. Like one day me and Rome just literally met up and we just talked about everything.

He felt like I did him wrong in certain situations and then he felt like I would always try. Because he says I'm controlling a lot and I do take that, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I own that, I do. I was trying to control how he parents sometimes, like how he would raise Ash and all of that type of stuff. We just put everything on the table and just was like, all right, you're moving forward

because it's really about Ash. And that's really like when we, after that it was like no looking back. It's like, all right, whatever. Cool. Piece of cake. It was just communication for him. You can't eat, but I think it's a couple things, man. Communication, feelings out of it, ego out of it.

Ego for sure. And just, man, both parties gotta be in it though, man. I feel like now, even at my kid's school and shit, man, like, dang, you said a man. I think that's fucked up. Your job, kids that you teach at school? No, kids, no. My children, my own children.

I feel like the father is not alone. Your job? Kids that you teach at school? No kids, no. At school. My children. My own children. Oh yeah. I feel like, you know, the father is not an arm. So I always been a, I ain't, it's not, I ain't say I'm a changing arm, but I've changed an arm. Like, it's me. You ain't gotta call a mother. You know that DMX son, call your father. Yeah. That's me. Call me. Don't call the mothers. I'm hands on. I'm gonna be there. And when my old is 11, man, I don't, call me. Don't call them others. I'm hands on, I'm gonna be there. And my old is 11, man, I just sat in the school,

sat in the class with them the whole day. They call you, but Ash called me on the side. Ash was like, my dad's a little kid, it's too much. Can you come up? But that was a thing too, she had to learn. Don't try to take the father from the child. Let me father him. Because I refused for my son to become a statistic,

I refused for my son to become a young, hurt little boy, I refused for my son to grow up not knowing how to love a woman, I refused for my son to be so many things that his father was. I'm still young, so I'm still, you know, I told Naya earlier, I said, man, like, you know, I'm gonna write my rights to you, my boys. I got girls too.

You still unlearning, you unlearning right now. Correct, correct. You unlearning to learn. When it's co-parenting ain't easy, man. And I used to be hard on him, how he was so hard on my son. Like, no, like Ash gotta wanna talk to you, you gotta make him want to talk to you.

Like, Ash, he used to come and talk to me about things he was scared to go to his father about, not because it was any abusive relationships, anything, it was just like, I can't talk to that. You know what was my son's problem? I like to say I'm creating a young man, man. My son's problem was, he don't like confrontation, not confrontation,

but he don't like to confront a man. And when I say that, me, his father. He don't like to, and I tell him, I said, bro, if you don't like something, you tell me. I'm not like my father, oh, shut the fuck up. Oh, I'm your father, you tell, no, no, ain't none of that. Same brand, we go to McDonald's, and I be like, all right, do you six, oh, dad, I don't want that.

All right, what you want? It's the same concept. I get his head done now, he want hair. Oh, dad, I don't want that. All right, what you want? It's the same concept. I get his head done now, he want hair. Oh dad, I don't like that. Tell me, don't go back and tell your mother, that's when I'm gonna get mad. Cause he was just with me and I just asked you and you ain't say nothing.

You want the communication. I want to communicate. And when you communicate with me, you look me in my eyes and tell me, dad, I don't want this. You ain't gotta be disrespectful when you say it. I want to say my baby getting better, but I'm here. So it's like, I don't know man, it's not hard.

It's easy, it's fun. You know, but- You do have to make it a little bit- I make it a little bit, but it's like, I don't like- Easier for him to do that. It's just man, like, I don't know. As a mom, it's different than when a dad raising. I'm doing everything that I wanted. I wanted my father to come up my school.

I wanted my dad to talk to me. I wanted my dad to ask me what I wanted. I wanted my father to come up my school. I wanted my dad to talk to me. I wanted my dad to ask me what I wanted. I wanted my dad to come to my basketball game, my baseball game. My dad had been to one baseball game out of four years. Two basketball games out of four years. You just gotta make sure you raising your child out of love and not fear.

And I don't wanna live for it. And I was scared of my father. I couldn't talk. I got a bang in my mouth a lot. That's why I got a big, that's why I got a busted lip. Most of our fathers raised us out of fear. Most of our fathers raised us out of fear because they didn't want us to end up going down

the same path they went down. So we gotta figure out how to raise our kids out of love. But you know, if moms get this, and I think I got that, and I told my dad a couple weeks ago, bro, like, you know, because he always kind of be, well, my father, my father said, I don't wanna hear that shit. That's what I'm saying, I'm a man now.

You ain't gonna tell me, shut the fuck up. I don't wanna hear that shit. Your father him straight up, I'm a man now. You ain't gonna tell me shut the fuck up. I don't wanna hear that shit. Your father wasn't a father, he was a provider. I'm a nurturer, I'm a dad, I'm a father. I nurture my baby. And even your response to your dad is angry. Yeah, because he always out of, my response to my dad is what he's given to me now.

Like I'm a man now, so it's like, bro, I don't have to take that shit, I'll leave. But he's trying to explain why he was like that. He's trying to explain but he don't explain it. Cause he's just now figuring it out too. He still ain't figured it out. So it's like you in the room, and it's me being in the room,

cause you know I don't call you about this type of stuff, but this me being in the room, it ain't. Is he? Different story man. I got somebody for you to talk to, I got a therapist, I got a good therapist. I got a lot of them. No, no. No, I'm not saying it like that. No, I'm talking about a different story, man. I got somebody for you to talk to. I got a therapist. I got a good therapist for you to talk to. I got a lot of them. No, no.

No, and I'm not saying it like that. No, I'm talking about a real professional. I got a real, yes. They black? They black? Yeah, I mean. He requires for someone to be black. I think I got somebody in mind for you, dude.

I want a woman. You want a woman? All right, I got you. I don't like men. I got you. I got you. I got you. I know exactly who you should talk to.

That's cool, man. I'm always open to it, man. But you know, other than that, you gotta work it for yourself. Do you? I've been there, man. Okay. Well good.

My biggest thing was just cutting back on the alcohol. Like now I do it for recreational. Well thank you, Envy. For it. Thank you for recreational. This is recreational. I'm gonna put it in this coffee. I didn't know it was gonna take a shot.

Nah, this is great. I didn't even know it was gonna drink no coffee. I didn't know it was gonna take a shot. No, this is great. I didn't even know it was gonna drink no coffee. I didn't even got you. I drank coffee. This was a great conversation. I'm sure it's a discussion that'll continue on, not even just amongst Jess and Rome, but just amongst anybody out there

dealing with co-parenting issues. But I think Rome is talking to a lot of different issues that a lot of us men go through. So I'm happy that you was vulnerable this morning. That's right. Thank you. And their book is coming soon via Black Privilege Publishing. Simeon and Schuster.

All right. Well, it's Rome. It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning. Wake that ass up in the morning. The Breakfast Club.