The Breakfast Club - DONKEY: Burglary Bowels: Man Breaks Into Building & Barricades Himself Inside Bathroom Due To ‘Crisis Of Bowels’

Episode Date: April 15, 2026

 Charlamagne Tha God gives Donkey of the Day to a man who broke into a building and barricaded himself in a bathroom due to a ‘bowel crisis.’ Listen for more!YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BreakfastClubPower1051FMSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed human. When a group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist, they take matters into their own hands. I vowed I will be his last target. He is not going to get away with this. He's going to get what he deserves. We always say that trust your girlfriends.

Listen to the girlfriends. Trust me, babe. On the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you. you get your podcast. I got you. In 2023, Bachelor star Clayton Eckerd was accused of fathering twins. But the pregnancy appeared to be a hoax. You doctored this particular test twice, Ms. Owens, correct?

I doctored the test ones. It took an army of internet detectives to uncover a disturbing pattern. Two more men who'd been through the same thing. Greg Gillespie and Michael Mancini. My mind was blown. I'm Stephanie Young. This is love trapped. Laura, Scottsdale Police.

As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences. Listen to Love Trapped podcast on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. That's shots fired in City Hall building. How could this have happened in City Hall? Somebody tell me that. A shocking public murder. This was one of the most dramatic events that really ever happened in New York City politics. I scream, get down, get down.

Those are shots. A tragedy that's now forgotten and a mystery that may or may not have been political. That may have been about sex. Listen to Rorschach, murder at City Hall, on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Lori Siegel, and this is mostly human, a tech podcast through a human lens. This week, an interview with OpenAI CEO, Sam Altman. I think society is going to decide that creators of AI products bear a tremendous amount of responsibility to the products we put out in the world. an in-depth conversation with a man who's shaping our future.

My highest order bit is to not destroy the world with AI. Listen to mostly human on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Don't be out here acting like a donkey. Hi, bitch. It's time for donkey of the day. I'm a big boy I can take it. If he feel I deserve it, ain't no big deal. I know Shalamanian guy's going to have some funny shit.

Say out of his mouth. This guy says something you may not agree with doesn't mean I mean. Who's getting that donkey, that donkey, that donkey, that donkey. Donk, don't, don't. Donkey of the day right here. The breakfast club, bitch. You can call me the donkey of the day, but like, I mean no harm. Yes, donkey of the day for Wednesday, April 15th,

go to an unidentified man from Bermerton, Washington. Never heard of Bremerton, Washington, but drop on the clothes bombs for Bremerton, Washington. Okay? Now, it's probably for the best that they haven't released this man's identity because this man was caught in a very embarrassing situation, and I would like to actually thank all parties involved, including the Bermerton Police Department, dropping the clues bomb for the Bremerton Police Department

for how they handled the situation. They handled this situation very well. Now, before I tell you why this man is getting donkey today, I would like to discuss with you your boughs, okay? Not just your boughs, because if you're healthy, you should have a bough movement a couple of times a day. What I would like to discuss is when you're climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter.

What am I talking about? Diarrhea! That's right. When you're chilling with your daughter and you feel the poo-poo water. Diarrhea. When you're walking down the hall and you feel something. something for diarrhea

I didn't know that one never heard that one one more one more when you're riding in a Chevy and you feel something heavy diarrhea diarrhea that's right butt mud okay

poo goo the runs bubble guts back door blues cold brown okay hurricane gut trina diarrhea is no joke kids okay but you get to a certain age and you know what you should

and shouldn't be eating because you know it can trigger a chocolate tsunami okay and if you risk it all by eating something you have no business eating and you leave the house knowing what could happen that's on you okay have you ever done colonoscopy prep envy i know you have yes okay i have as well all right what does your doctor tell you the day before when you are on that liquid diet don't leave the house stay near a toilet

why because you want the toilet for what feels like every three to five minutes why am i bringing this up because if you leave the house when the doctor tells you not to when you get to her she squirts that's on you and that is what bringing me to today's don't here today. See, Brimerton police had to respond to a burglary call. Okay, officers were called to a report of a burglary in progress, okay, in a building in downtown Brimerton, where a man had forced his way into a building and barricaded himself inside a bathroom. Now, I'm reading this directly from the police report, okay? The Brimington PD said, from behind the closed door, they heard yelling and screaming, okay?

Yes. What? Their exact words was he was making a lot of noise, so much so that the police thought this might turn into a tense, violent encounter. They yelled commands for the man to leave the bathroom, and after being told several times to come out, he finally came out. He probably came out after everything else came out.

And when he came out, the police wished they had left him in there. All right? The police said, this is the police's exact words. What happened next was not your typical burglary scenario. They said the situation became immediately clear that everyone present, that this was less about criminal intent and more about a full-blown personal emergency. That means it was boonky gravy everywhere, okay? Probably all on the floor, the walls.

He couldn't flush enough. I'm sure it looked like somebody won a championship game, and instead of champagne, they decided to pop collo. Okay? The man told police it was a crisis of boughs. And the police agreed with him. They said based on the totality of the circumstances, that assessment was not in dispute. And the individual was taken to a hospital for treatment.

I know you might be thinking, Charlemagne, why are you victim blaming? First of all, two things. One, if you got to be taken to the hospital for treatment because your body is rejecting your life choices. And if you have to break into an office building because your ancestors told you not to eat to eat that and you did it anyway, then you had no business leaving the house to begin with. Okay, even if it wasn't the house, if you was at work, okay, wherever you was at, you did whatever you did that caused your stomach to file a grievance. Okay, you did that, all right? So wherever you was at, you were supposed to stay there. You can't be out in the wild when there's potential for a brown flame.

Okay, when your stomach and ass come together to go rah, like a dungeon dragon, you will absolutely be changing your drawers. And you knew better. You knew better. You knew not to leave that house or wherever you was at. That's why they tell you to trust your gut. Please give this brother the sweet sounds of the hamletones. You know your stomach. You know your body.

Trust your gut. Sometimes it's unexpected. Y'all know that happens sometimes. Happened to me once in my life. I went to a Jamaican restaurant in Columbia, South Carolina. Used to be called, I don't even know if it's still there, but used to be called Cool Runnings. Cool Runnings.

Yep. And whatever I ate the night before, it came out the next day. Next day, though. You know what I mean? So that was unexpected. Right. Okay.

Yeah, that happened to me a pair a couple years ago. I remember when you threw your drawers in the underwear. The jam boy. And the jam that I found him had no idea what the hell we'd be doing at the breakfast club. That was actually the custodians complaint. I don't know what they'd be doing in there, but I found some red underwear with brown stains in them. That's not true.

I thought it was gas and it wasn't. So was that sound you? That was it? Might have been. And that happened. You've been working a pair, what, three years now? And it happened to be a couple times up here. I ain't about no couple now.

See, something wrong now. See, that's loose booty, loose booty. You don't remember her running out? He's not talking about me. Oh, I thought you was. I thought you was saying you did a couple of times. No, we're not talking about me. No, okay.

No, that's because I don't have no gallbladder. What? You're lying again? Now your mom about to call you and say you're up being embarrassed and sir again. I'm not lying. Y'all remember that back in January. So you ain't got no gallbladder and now you got diarrhea? No, no, I don't have a gallbladder so things like I can't hold this in times and it's like, oh my God. So yeah, when y'all are recording me and laughing and things like that, it's my health.

I mean, let me Google. It's an actual condition. Exactly. I don't trust you. I don't have, you only get one gallbladder. I thought you had two, but you have one. And when they removed it, I was like, wow. Like I thought they could have.

It says most people live normally without a gold bladder, though many experience temporary digestive changes such as diarrhea. Exactly. Wow. Gas are bloating. It says it causes frequent loose booty or watery stools. It does not say that. And you never and you never know. No, it does say diarrhea.

It says when you get your gallbladder removed, it says when you're sliding in the first and your pants begin to burst. Diary. Yes, diarrhea. When you're sliding into two and your pants are filled with glue. Diary. When you're sliding in the third and you feel a greasy turd. Oh, please shut up. Oh, shut up.

You're sliding in the home and your pants are filled with brown phone. Some people can't help it. Shut up. Some people just can't help it, y'all. All right, let's get serious. Let's get serious. Thank you for that donkey today. Now, when we come back, United States Representative from Minnesota's 5th Congressional District will be joining us.

Ilhan Omar. When we come back, it's the Breakfast Club. Good morning. The Breakfast Club. Donkey of today is sponsored by renowned personal injury attorney Michael the Bull Lamantsoff. Don't be a donkey when you need a fighter on your side. If you're ever injured, go to Michael to Michael. The bull.com, that's Michael the Bull.com, and when you mess with the bull, you get the horns.

When a group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist, they take matters into their own hands. I vowed. I will be his last target. He is not going to get away with this. He's going to get what he deserves. We always say that trust your girlfriends. Listen to the girlfriends. Trust me, babe. On the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. In 2023, Bachelor star Clayton Eckerd was accused of fathering twins. But the pregnancy appeared to be a hoax. You doctored this particular test twice in so-ins, correct? I doctored the test ones.

It took an army of internet detectives to uncover a disturbing pattern. Two more men who'd been through the same thing. Greg, a lesbian. Michael Mancini. My mind was blown. I'm Stephanie Young. This is Love Trapped. Laura, Scottsdale Police. As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences.

Listen to Love Trapped podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. 10, 10 shots fired in City Hall building. How could this have happened in City Hall? Somebody tell me that. A shocking public murder. This is one of the most dramatic events that really ever happened in New York City politics. I scream, get down, get down, those are shots. A tragedy that's now forgotten and a mystery that may or may not have been political, that may have been about sex.

Listen to Roershack, murder at City Hall, on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Lori Siegel, and this is mostly human, a tech podcast through a human lens. This week, an interview with OpenAI CEO Sam Altman. I think society is going to decide that creators of AI products, are a tremendous amount of responsibility to the products we put out in the world. An in-depth conversation with a man who's shaping our future. My highest order bit is to not destroy the world with AI.

Listen to mostly human on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.