The Breakfast Club - DONKEY: Charlamagne Drags New York Giants After Getting Swept 40-0 In Season Opener

Episode Date: September 11, 2023

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey guys, I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, The Running Interview Show, where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast, Post Run High, is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. Listen to Post Run High on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I planted the flag. This is mine. I own this. It's surprisingly easy. 55 gallons of water, 500 pounds of concrete.

Or maybe not. No country willingly gives up their territory. Oh my God. What is that? Bullets. Listen to Escape from Zaka-stan. We need help! That's Escape from Z-A-Q-a-stan on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hello, my undeadly darlings. It's Teresa, your resident ghost host. And do I have a treat for you. Haunting is crawling out from the shadows, and it's going to be devilishly good. We've got chills, thrills, and stories that'll make you wish the lights stayed on. So join me, won't you? Let's dive into the eerie unknown together. Sleep tight, if you can. Listen to Haunting on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida.

And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami? Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Eliane Gonzalez story on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th, 2017, was assassinated. Crooks everywhere unearths the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks. She exposed the culture of crime and corruption

that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state. Listen to Crooks Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm not making these people do these things. They called Donkey of the Day, and it really caught me off guard. Damn, Charlamagne. Who got the Donkey of the Day today? Well, just hilarious. Donkey of the Day for Monday, September 11th goes to the New York Football Giants as a staff, organization, and mother-effing crew.

New York Giants fans, you getting some of this hee-haw too. Okay, I have no idea why they are known as the football giants, especially after what my Dallas Cowboys did to them last night. You would think on the eve of the 22nd anniversary of 9-11, the New York Giants would have some type of inspiration, some type of motivation to show up and be the best version of themselves. But instead, they ended up being the only team in the whole NFL who couldn't put up a single point on Sunday.

I don't even know if that's that is correct, but it feels right. It feels like the New York Giants were the only team in the NFL who didn't score a single point on Sunday. OK, correct me in the comments if I'm wrong. If not, who cares? All right. Who cares about the truth when the lie is more entertaining? Now, if you haven't heard, the final score last night was 40-0. I mean that. Cowboys D was penetrating the Giants O-line all night with no lubrication. All right, let's go to CBS2 New York for the report, please.

So there's that. 40-0, your primetime final between the Cowboys and the Giants. It was wet, it was wild, and it had some history in it. 40 points is the largest shutout victory in a Cowboys opener in the history of the franchise. 40 points is the largest shutout loss in an opener in Giants franchise history. It was wet.

That's why it made it so easy for the Cowboys D to penetrate. Now look, it was the Eva 9-11 as well. Okay. And America's team showed up. That moment was for America. Okay. That moment was for America's team. We knew what America needed and we delivered.

All right. We knew what the moment was. We wasn't going to let America down at a time like this. In fact, we knew that it was going to be a tough time for the Giants, which is why we decided to bring 40s for the moment was. We wasn't going to let America down at a time like this. In fact, we knew that it was going to be a tough time for the Giants, which is why we decided to bring 40s for the whole team. You know, growing up, if one of your homies was going through something, you pull up with an ice cold 40 to try to numb the pain. And last night was probably the first time in a long time that a lot of people

in New York drank a 40-0. And that's why so many of them were looking sick last night and probably feel a little hungover today. See, that Cowboys 40-0 hit different. 40-0 with St. Ives, Old English, Code 45, Slicksmartt Liquor, that Blue Bull, that 211, Hurricane, Mickey's, King Cobra. None of them hit like that Cowboys 40-0. Now, I know there was a lot of Dominicans in New York last night who feel like they put on white jeans and blue Giants jerseys for absolutely no reason. And who am I to tell you different?

You are absolutely correct. You put on those white jeans and that blue Giants jersey for no damn reason at all last night, and the weather was disgusting, so those white jeans got ruined. I guarantee dry cleaners all over New York City are being bombarded with white jeans today because of all the Dominicans who put on white jeans and a blue Giants jersey last night to watch my Dallas Cowboys dismantle the New York Giants 40-0. Now, Envy, this morning I want to tell you the story of the cucumber, the pickle, the penis, and the New York Giants fan.

Would you like to hear it? No. So there was a cucumber, right? A pickle, a penis, and a New York Giants fan sitting around talking about how bad their lives were. The pickle says, you know, that's nothing. When I get big and hard, they stick me in a jar full of vinegar and vacuum seal me. And the penis says, my life is the worst. When I get big and hard, they put a rubber tarp on my head and stick me in a dark room and bang my head against the wall

until I throw up and pass out. The New York Giants fan said, My life is terrible because I can't handle Big D. But side note, Giants fans love Little D. I like Little D. Yes, you do, don't you, Envy? Envy, you a father like me. Let's see if you can guess these dad jokes.

Okay? You want to guess some of them? Sure. Huh? Why doesn't New York Giants quarterback Daniel Jones use the phone anymore? Why? Because he can't find the receivers. Let's see.

You want another one? How many Giants fans does it take to find a light bulb, Envy? How many? None, because they are happy living in the Cowboys' shadow. I got another one for you. What's the difference between the New York Giants and a dollar bill, Envy? What? You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Last night, the Giants couldn't give you one. Want one more? Huh? Want one more? Huh? No. What did the New York Giants and Chick-fil-A workers have in common yesterday? I know you know this one.

Come on. Come one. Come on. Come on. Come on. They're off on Sunday. Neither one of them showed up for work on Sunday. Look, I'm here all week. No, literally, I'm here all week reminding you that my Dallas Cowboys have the best D in the league. Last night, the Giants got the first taste of the big D that the league will be sucking on all season.

And on February 11th, we will be playing in the Super Bowl in Vegas. But no need to get ahead of ourselves. Let's just enjoy the process, starting with the 40-0 ass-cutting we put on the New York football Giants last night. Now, can we please give the

New York Giants the sweet sounds of the Hamiltones? You are the donkey of the day. You are the donkey of the day. Yee-haw. And in case you're wondering, the cucumber's life is terrible because when the cucumber gets big and hard, they chop it up and put it in a salad.

Just want to throw that out there. I would just like to say, you act like people can't have a bad day. Like you ever have sex and then boom! Happens too fast, that's a bad day. You ever go to the casino and don't win, that's a bad day. You ever need to the casino and don't win, that's a bad day. You ever need a haircut and then you forget your hat, you had a bad day.

You ever walk down the street and step in some poop, you had a bad day. You ever walk down the street and a pigeon ish on you, it's a bad day. We all have bad days. What about when somebody box your mouth? Is that a bad day. We all have bad days. What about when somebody box your mouth? Is that a bad day? Shut up, man. Or is that threatening

somebody with a good time? You know what? Which one is it? Which one is it? It depends where you're at. It depends where you're at. All right? Oh, okay.

All right. Okay. All right. Well, thank you for that donkey today. BET. We'll see y'all tomorrow. Peace.

BET. Donkey of the Day is brought to you by the law office of Michael S. Lamisoff. Don't be a donkey. Dial pound 250 on your cell and say to bull if you've been hurt in a Michael S. Laminsoff. Don't be a donkey. Dial pound 250 on your cell

and say the bull if you've been hurt in a construction accident. That's pound 250 from your cell and say the bull. Wake that ass up early in the morning. The Breakfast Club. Had enough of this country? Ever dreamt about starting your own? I planted the flag. This is mine. I own this. It's surprisingly easy. 55 gallons of water, 500 pounds of concrete. Or maybe not. No country willingly gives up their territory. Oh my God.

What is that? Bullets. Listen to Escape from Zakistan. That's Escape from Z-A-Q-istan on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast, Post Run High, is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. Listen to Post Run High on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello, my und you get your podcasts. It's got chills, thrills, and stories that'll make you wish the lights stayed on. So join me, won't you?

Let's dive into the eerie unknown together. Sleep tight, if you can. Listen to Haunting on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th 2017 was assassinated. Crooks Everywhere unearthed the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks. She exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state. Listen to Crooks Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida.

And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home, and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami? Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.