The Breakfast Club - DONKEY: Florida Man Arrested After Attempting To Steal Crab Legs

Episode Date: January 12, 2024

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Had enough of this country? Ever dreamt about starting your own? I planted the flag. This is mine. I own this. It's surprisingly easy. 55 gallons of water, 500 pounds of concrete. Or maybe not. No country willingly gives up their territory. Oh my God.

What is that? Bullets. Listen to Escape from Zakistan. We need help! That's Escape from Z-A-Q-istan on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey guys, I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, The Running Interview Show, where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast

Post Run High is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. Listen to Post Run High on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. As a kid, I really do remember having these dreams and visions, but you just don't know what is going to come for you. Alicia shares her wisdom on growth, gratitude, and the power of love. I forgive myself. It's okay.

Have grace with yourself. You're trying your best. And you're going to figure out the rhythm of this thing. Alicia Keys, like you've never heard her before. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Lauren Smith, Laura Layton, and Daphne Zuniga. On July 8th, 1992, apartment buildings with pools were never quite the same as Melrose Place was introduced to the world. We are going to be reliving every hookup, every scandal, and every single wig removal together. So listen to Still the Place on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hey y'all. Niminy here. I'm the host of a brand new history podcast for kids and families called Historical Records. Executive produced by Questlove, The Story Pirates, and John Glickman, Historical Records brings history to life through hip-hop.

Flash, slam, another one gone. Bash, bam, another one gone. Historical Records brings history to life through hip-hop. Each episode is about a different inspiring figure from history. Like this one about Claudette Colvin, a 15-year-old girl in Alabama who refused to give up her seat on the city bus nine whole months before Rosa Parks did the same thing. Check it. And it began with me. Did you know, did you know?

I wouldn't give up my seat. Nine months before Rosa, it was called a four-month. Get the kids in your life excited about history by tuning in to Historical Records. Because in order to make history, you have to make some noise. Listen to Historical Records on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Donkey of the Day is sponsored by renowned personal injury attorney,

Michael the Bull Laminsoff. Don't be a donkey when you need a fighter on your side. If you're ever injured, go to michaelthebull.com. That's michaelthebull.com and when you mess with the bull, you get the horns. Make sure you tell them to watch out for Florida Man. The craziest people in America come from the Bronx and

all of Florida. Yes. You are a donkey. A Florida Man attacked an ATM for a very strange reason. It gave him too much money. Florida man is arrested after deputies say he rigged the door to his home in an attempt to electrocute his pregnant wife. Police arrested an Orlando man for attacking a flamingo. Put the breakfast club, bitchy.

Donkey of the day. Charlemagne the guy. I don't know why y'all keep letting him get y'all like this. It's not me, it's y'all. Donkey of the day for Friday, January 12th goes to a 33-year-old Florida man named Kurt Beck. What does your Uncle Charla always say about the great state of florida the craziest people in america come from the bronx and all of florida and today is no exception this is actually the first florida donkey of 2024 i know we just got back on the eighth but you mean to tell me florida

went all week without getting the donkey of the day what What happened, Florida? Y'all got saved? Did Erykah Badu go down there and sage the whole state? Did Sarah Jakes Roberts say a prayer for Florida? What's happening? Did everyone in Florida make a New Year's resolution to not be donkey of the day no more? Well, Kurt has already broke that resolution. And honestly, I have empathy for him. See, I try not to judge people based on what they do when they are in survival mode.

And if I'm being honest, Kurt was just trying to survive. And yes, he did break the law, which is the reason he's getting donkier today today but i feel like deputies with the volesha county sheriffs should have a heart okay you don't got to be 10 men all your life and even the 10 man long for a heart see according to an arrest affidavit a cashier witnessed a man in a jacket leaving the store while concealing several bags of one of the greatest comfort foods ever created a food that brings so many people together and brings us so much joy and causes us to socialize and that food ladies and gentlemen is crab legs dropping a clues bond for crab legs okay now this is florida so

it's always an amazing amazing plot twist now kurt had a friend with him but the friend didn't steal anything he was serving as more of a lookout a sexy decoy and he walked behind kurt as they exited the store now a store manager followed them out why why huh huh whoever the store manager is just know win dixie ain't dying for you okay now not not not nobody in win dixie is gonna put their life on the line for you so why would you follow somebody outside and confront them over stealing crab legs okay the only logical answer is there was like this crab leg shortage last year on red and blue king crabs and maybe just maybe this store manager was planning to make a seafood boil but he couldn't afford the crab legs until he got his next check and if kurt is stealing crab

legs there won't be no crab legs for the store manager store manager to buy when he gets paid okay now i made this whole story up in my head but the moral of it is if i'm a store manager at winn-dixie i'm not following you outside for nothing okay you can have whatever you stole go home and crack those crab legs we'll be all right but if i follow you outside and confront you and you crack my head open like a king crab leg then i won't be well according to the arrest affidavit the men attempted to leave but their car wouldn't start florida ladies and gentlemen florida the car would not start that's got to feel like bruce brant bruce banner uh in infinity war when hulk couldn't come out to fight i mean of all the times for you not to start mr

car you're going to choose right now if this isn't god letting you know that you're doing something wrong then i don't know what is oh what a tangled web we weave when we steal crab legs and try to leave now it gets better kurt after his car wouldn't start simply tried to give the crab legs back to the store manager now if you ask me the store manager should have just felt pity for these fools and taken the crab legs back but no this store manager said he was going to pursue criminal charges he said when dixie was going to pursue criminal charges uh i don't agree but But this man, Kirk, did break the law. So after they were in custody, right? Kirk admitted during questioning he knew what he did was wrong.

Duh. Of course he knew it was wrong. But it was a chance he was willing to take. Because what is a seafood boil without crab legs? All right? This man had a get-together planned. Clearly a whole crab crack. He didn't have money for the crab legs because he probably spent his money on beer.

Hell, it's Florida, so he probably spent money on some meth too. And fun fact, a couple of days ago, authorities found some meth in a crab boil at a Louisiana airport. True story. Do your Googles. But back to Florida. uh homie that was with him deputies learned that he did not steal any merchandise and was acting only as the driver for kurt due to kurt's license being suspended nothing like a criminal with a conscience all right he knows he can't commit two crimes but if you ain't got no license and you don't got the kind of car that starts when you want to you probably need to keep your getaway

driving to a minimum and the way you keep your getaway driving to a minimum and the way you keep your getaway driving to a minimum is by not committing the crime in the first place now we have a person who works here on the breakfast club you have affectionately uh heard me refer to him as the president of the fat lives matter committee he actually started with us here at the breakfast club as an intern back in like 2011 or 2012 and uh he's back with us now he was back with us here at the Breakfast Club as an intern back in like 2011 or 2012. And he's back with us now. He was back with us all last year. And he didn't want to get on camera until he lost some weight.

Because, you know, camera adds about 10 pounds. So he lost the weight. Did he? Yeah. And he would like to come in and explain to us why Kurt doesn't deserve donkey of the day at all. Ladies and gentlemen, you see him on Wild N' Out. You see him on the road doing stand-up. His one half of the duo, Th Thick and Thin. Please welcome the

president of the Fat Lives Matter committee, Big Mac is here. Big Mac! Yes. Our Fat Mac, as Rose calls him. Did he lose weight? He did. He did. He did. He looks thinner. Tell me, tell me, Mac,

why Kurt doesn't deserve Donkey at all? One word. Inflation. Have you heard of it? Like, come on now. The price of anything is way too high now to the point where I'm surprised there's not more that's happening. Yeah, higher food prices did boost overall inflation in December. That is true.

How has it impacted you? Impacted me? Come on now. I'm the president of the Fat Loss Matter Committee. The whole committee is... Oh, God. I hate when you pull out. We had all types of meetings, so I did some independent research, right?

So, the fact that crab legs, if you want three pounds of it, it's going for about $200 right now. $200? $200, which is kind of crazy because now I understand why Mr. Crabs was so cheap because people was coming after him to get that $200. That's a lot right now. But this guy stole about six pounds of crab legs.

It's crazy. You ain't got that much money. How many pounds do you eat yourself? A metric ton is actually how it comes up on the scale. Google that. Lobster tails, crazy, $1.50. A pound? $1.50

for some lobster tails. Where are you shopping? I'm trying to tell you. You guys, you're on the rich side of the grocery store. This is the regular people. They're trying to tax us early. But while I'm trying to tell you. See, you guys, you guys, this is you on the rich side of the grocery store. This is the regular people. They trying to tax us early. But while I'm here, you know what I mean? I don't really get this opportunity. While I'm here and I got

your ear, I got some other issues. The quarter pounder with cheese, the value meal, about $14. That's too expensive. That's way too much. The number two, the two cheeseburgers used to be $3.99, $2.99. It's crazy. Now it's like $8. That's too much. That double quarter pounder better look like me for $14. God damn.

Who can eat all that? That's not a value meal. What value is that? That's crazy. The price of eggs at one point were more expensive than Hunter Biden's cocaine. Wow. And that right there. And that's how you start your day, with eggs.

You guys eat eggs. Well, I've seen Charlamagne eat eggs. How many eggs do you eat? Is that, huh? How many eggs do you eat? How much is a baker's? Was it like 13? 13.

Yeah. Two of them. Two bakers. Jesus Christ. 26. Yeah. Kool-Aid. I don't know the last time y'all bought Kool-Aid.

Remember the little packets? Yeah. 49 cents. Growing up, it was 10 cents. That's a fact. You know what I mean? You can get 50 cents. You can get five of them.

All the flavors. Red, grape, fruit punch. Now, 50 cents gets you one. I hate how passionate you are about this. I don't get this opportunity. And listen, stores, Arizona iced teas, it says 99 cents on the can. Don't be charging me a buck 50 for that.

It still say 99 cents on the can? It says 99 cents on it. When I buy it and I ring, and guess what it says? 150. I'll be like, nah, bruh, that's got to come out your pocket. All I hear is you talking about a bunch of stuff you shouldn't be eating. No way. And chip and dip. I got to make a decision in the store.

Do I want the chip or do I want the dip? Because they're so expensive. And while I'm here, too. Which one do you take? I'm just curious. Which one do you take? Nah, I'm like my man in Florida. I'm stealing it.

You put it under your roll? I'm putting whatever's cheaper. That's what I'm... You know, the self-checkout at Walmart. I go through there. but the rest of it, I put it all under my rolls and folds. We got to get you more money up here, man. Shout out to Florida. We got to get them on a diet.

That too. Listen, I don't do anything that has the word diet in it. It just doesn't sound good. Please give what's the guy's name? Kurt Beck, the biggest hee haw. Jesus Christ. I like this. You do this's name? Kurt Beck the biggest seahawk. Jesus Christ.

I like this. You do this every day? Whiting is 350 a pound too, buddy. The whiting too damn high as well. You want to play again? No, I don't. You don't want to play again? I do.

I won't play again. I'll just play again. Guess how much Mac he weighs. Guess how much Mac he weighs. I think he weighs 275. No, leave him alone. I'll say... I'm not playing this game. Let's carry the two.

Both legs or one leg? I'm not having this conversation. He took three pounds. I think he took three pounds. I'm not having this conversation. That's what I'm talking about, Sean. It's 2024. All that fat shaming you was doing all 2023, it's over for that.

I've never fat shamed people. Shout out to everybody that sweats sitting down. We out here. Whoa. Jesus Christ. Mind you, what up? All right, well, thank you to Big Mac. Whoa.

Mr. Yerp. It's a stomach growler. You think Mac calling you and you're just hungry. Yerp. All right. Now, when we come back, Dean Phillips will be joining us. Yes.

He's running for president and we'll see. Yes, he's also the U.S. representative of Minnesota and he is the 2024 presidential candidate. He's actually the only person

in the Democratic Party who's actually a member of Congress who decided to challenge President Biden. That's right. He says his career is over because of it.

That's right. I hope he brings down the food prices if he get in there. That's all you care about, huh? That's important. He says his career is over because of it. That's right. I hope he brings down the food prices if he gets in there. That's all you care about, huh? That's important. Vote your interest back. Vote your interest. We're going to talk to him when we come back, so don't move.

It's The Breakfast Club. Good morning. The Breakfast Club. Had enough of this country? Ever dreamt about starting your own? I planted the flag. This is mine. I own this.

It's surprisingly easy. 55 gallons of water, 500 pounds of concrete. Or maybe not. No country willingly gives up their territory. Oh my God. What is that? Bullets. Listen to Escape from Zaka-stan.

We need help! That's Escape from Z-A-Q-a-stan on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, guys, I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, The Running Interview Show, where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast, Post Run High, is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together.

Listen to Post Run High on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. As a kid, I really do remember having these dreams and visions, but you just don't know what is going to come for you. Alicia shares her wisdom on growth, gratitude, and the power of love. I forgive myself. It's okay. Have grace with yourself. You're trying your best, and you're going to figure out the rhythm of this thing.

Alicia Keys, like you've never heard her before. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everyone. This is Courtney Thorne-Smith, Laura Layton, and Daphne Zuniga. On July 8th, 1992, apartment buildings with pools were never quite the same as Melrose Place was introduced to the world. We are going to be reliving every hookup, every scandal, and every single wig removal together. So listen to Still the Place on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hey, y'all. Niminy here.

I'm the host of a brand new history podcast for kids and families called Historical Records. Executive produced by Questlove, The Story Pirates, and John Glickman, Historical Records brings history to life through hip-hop. Flash, slam, another one gone. Bash, bam, another one gone. The crack of the bat and another one gone. The tip of the cap, there's another one gone. Each episode is about a different inspiring figure from history, like this one about Claudette Colvin, a 15-year-old girl in Alabama who refused to give up her seat on the city bus nine whole months before Rosa Parks did the same thing.

Check it. Get the kids in your life excited about history by tuning in to Historical Records, because in order to make history, you have to make some noise. Listen to Historical Records on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.