The Breakfast Club - DONKEY: Florida Man Arrested For Stealing From Jesus

Episode Date: October 24, 2024

Charlamagne Tha God Gives Donkey of The Day To Florida Man Who Was Arrested For Stealing From Jesus. Listen For More!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

it is just one of many wacky news stories out of florida on the breakfast club that's that devilish laugh what is so funny you learning burning bushes with jesus no i was laughing that's something i saw carlos miller post my guy carlos miller listen donkey of the day for thursday october 24th goes to a 20 yearyear-old Florida man named Jeremy Lang. Now, what does your Uncle Sharla always say about the great state of Florida? The craziest people in America come from the Bronx and all of Florida, and today is no exception. Now, I'm going to tell you right now, we keep having all these conversations about border security,

but I see stories like the one I'm about to tell you, and all I keep thinking is we building walls for the wrong people. We need to build more walls. Okay, finish the one building walls for the wrong people uh we need to build more walls okay finish the one at the border because yes we need stronger border security but who's gonna keep these crazies from within away from us okay i'm looking at jeremy lang and i'm saying i need a wall built internally here in america to keep us away from them who is them them is the crazies okay he's a young man so I can grace only 20 years old but then I see what he's accused of and it just reinforces to me that this new era we are in because of

social media just has completely completely made people lose sight of what reality is hell if you 20 you probably don't know what reality is you never experienced it you grew up in an era of social media and youtube and nothing I repeat nothing will make you out of touch with reality like those platforms now jeremy wanted to steal from jesus okay what jesus what a place where people worship okay jesus and that place is a church yes jeremy was arrested last week for burglarizing a church and police say he's probably linked to six more what type of table you get in hell for that okay i should get you in the vip section of club satan with bottle service but jeremy was arrested for burglarizing the church let's go to abc3 for the report please police say 20 year old jeremy lang is responsible for at least seven burglaries

over two and a half weeks span surveillance footage we obtained from pastor clifton riley at bethel ame church shows the suspect break several windows before eventually climbing in last Friday night. The pastor tells me he spent less than five minutes inside and left with nothing. Authorities say Lang was spotted Monday night wearing the same clothes from the surveillance days prior. He was found carrying burglary tools, marijuana, and a stolen firearm. And PPD says Jeremy Lang provided a false name to them at the time of his arrest. He is charged with one of the burglaries at this church. Other charges are pending from the six other churches that he's burglarized.

PPD did not identify the items that he's accused of stealing. No, I definitely could just give him donkey of the day for that. You know what I'm saying? Because, you know, you stole from the church. God definitely got something for this jackass. but that's between him and his creator but the reason i'm giving him donkey of the day is not only because he stole from all those churches but police searched his cell phone and in his cell phone he had internet searches like and i quote how to cut shirt into a mask jesus where do church keep money these are actual quotes do churches have safes let me tell you how you spelled safes s-a-f-e apostrophe apostrophe s

so s-a-f-e apostrophe this is the one that got me He Googled events where you raise money in Pensacola. He was going after all the sweet licks. This man was going to rob people who were actually doing great things in the community. Events where you raise money in Pensacola. I had to Google for myself events where you raise money in Pensacola because I had to see what Jeremy saw. I wanted to see what Jeremy saw. Would you like to hear some of the events this heathen was plotting

on? Fourth annual Brunch Fest. Purple Paint Party. That's the second annual charity event. The Fall Pawpalooza. A pet adoption and charity event. Together for Tomorrow event. Fourth annual Mission 22 Show and Shine.

Ends for a purpose. 28th annual CCA Pensacola Banquet and Auction. Hot work hits cancer. Pensacola, East Hill, and Northwest. He deserved to be under the jail. What are you talking about? You know what's under the jail? What's that?

Hell! Okay? You was going to take money from people raising money for cancer. You was going to take money from people who are encouraging people to adopt pets. I keep telling y'all, segregation wasn't a bad concept. It was just poorly executed. Should have been based on behavior, not race. Because I don't want people like Jeremy eating in the same establishments I'm eating in.

I don't want people like Jeremy going to the same schools as my kids. And I damn sure don't want to go to the same church as Jeremy because he's just in there staking the place out. I need to see what human evolution looks like for people like Jeremy. He's 20, but he thinks he can just Google search how to commit a crime against the church, how to commit crimes against the community. He literally searched for how to cut shirt into a mask. Where do church keep money? He was plotting on robbing a pet adoption and charity event. I don't know if anything man made.

I don't know if anything man has created can rehabilitate this human. I think even God would have to admit some of the product he created is just defective. Please give Jeremy Lang the biggest hee-haw. It's horrible. What's he look like? What you looking at? You play a game? I do.

Okay, let's play a game of Guess What Racist. All right, give me clues. Jeremy Lang, 20 years old from Pensacola, Florida, robbed about five to six churches, and he Googled how to cut shirt into a mask. Where do church keep money? DJ Envy, Guess What Racist. Wait. Okay, I'm not mad at that guess. But racist.

White. Okay. Not mad at that, I guess. See, if he was black, he'd have the Pooh Shiesty mask already, so he wouldn't need to cut a mask into it. So, that's what I'm going with. That's a good use of context. Lauren LaRosa, Jeremy Lang, 20 years old, Pensacola, Florida. Robbed about five to six churches.

Googled things like, do churches have safes and use an apostrophe in safes? Guess what? Racist. I hate to do this to us. Uh-oh. Us. What do you mean? I think he black.

I hate it. I think he watched a little bit of like Too Much of First Sunday. Yeah. I think he's one. I hate that, though. But I think he's one of bit of like too much of First Sunday. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I think he's one. I hate that, though. But I think he's one of us. Apostrophe S. Well.

Apostrophe S. DJ Envy, Lauren LaRosa, I want you both to know that you are absolutely positively wrong. Both of us are wrong? Yes. Both of y'all are wrong. Wow. Jeremy Lang is not white. Jeremy Lang is not black. Jeremy Lang is nigga!

Wow. How did he think he was going to get away with that hair like that? Like, you see that hair a mile away. I don't care if you wrap your face with a t-shirt, a sweatshirt. You can see that hair sticking out. I'm convinced after seeing that, that N-word did it for the mixtape. He needed content for his mixtape. at him look at him okay look at him prostitute gave it away this man looks suspicious in any neighborhood i don't care what neighborhood he's in he looks suspicious

black neighborhoods white neighborhoods this man will get the police caught on him he came out the room he looked like he came out the room doing all the wrong stuff. Wow. Even in his mug shot, he's like, mmm, boy, mmm. He got his lip balled up like, mmm, when I get out of here. I'm coming straight to the pastor. You got to be a different type of dumb to try to rob the people of God. Jesus. All right. Well, thank you for that donkey of the day.

Donkey of the day is sponsored by renowned personal injury attorney, Michael the Bull Laminsoft. Don't be a donkey when you need a fighter on your side. If you're ever injured, go to MichaelTheBull.com. That's MichaelTheBull.com and when you mess with the bull, you get the horns.