The Breakfast Club - DONKEY: Florida Man Impersonates Security To Get Into Taylor Swift Concert

Episode Date: October 23, 2024

Charlamagne Tha God Gives Donkey of The Day To Florida Man Who Impersonates Security To Get Into Taylor Swift Concert. Listen For More!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Why does the Sunshine State consistently produce such strange news? If I catch y'all ass in traffic, I whip her, my gin and I, y'all don't suck. It is just one of the many wacky news stories out of Florida. On The Breakfast Club. Listen, there is a statue of limitations on being a Swifty, y'all. Donkey of the Day for Wednesday, October 23rd goes to Ivan Mariotti. He is 44 years old of Key Biscayne, Florida.

What does your Uncle Sharla always tell you about the great state of Florida? Say it with me. The craziest people in America come from the Bronx and all of Florida and today is no exception. See, Ivan was identified by police as an Uber driver. Okay, he identifies as an Uber driver because he actually is. Well, he's a driver,

and he was hired by an auntie to drive two women around. I'm assuming since these two women are saying their aunt hired him, they must be the nieces, but he was hired to drive them to a concert with his big grown-ass man at his big grown-ass age.

Must have gotten excited about this concert he was driving these two young ladies to. So he devised a plan, a scheme, to get all up in the mix. Let's go to ABC Local 10 for the report, please. Only in Florida do we have a story like this where a guy has a badge and the cops say, wait a minute, something's wrong here. And they ask him for a ticket. He says, I don't have a ticket.

We'll have all the details now and you'll find out why he landed in the slammer. It was the place to be over the weekend that Taylor Swift show at Hard Rock Stadium, but it wasn't an enchanted evening for this guy. Ivan Mariotti. Apparently he got into the show, but he can't shake off the charges. He's got an immigration hold.

This is a policy impersonating an officer. Interference with a sports entertainment event. Cops say he was impersonating an officer. According to the arrest form, a Miami-Dade officer swiftly spotted the guy with a badge. The defendant stated that he was hired by four women to work as a security guard and he escorted said women onto their property. Mr. Mariotti was asked if he had a ticket to the event, to which he replied no. He further advised that he's working security, and that is how he was able to get in.

Impersonating a police officer to see Taylor Swift. Ivan, you're too big to be a Swifty. He's 44 years old. The only person over the age of 25 who should be a Swifty is Travis Kelsey. That's just my opinion. You don't like it, fight me. Okay, we used to be a country.

All right, people, every day I get on this radio and I tell you stories about individuals who take penitentiary chances for a lot of different reasons. Most of the time they revolve around money. Okay, folks are always down to do something strange for a little bit of change. Whether it's robbing, stealing, drug dealing, they're going to get that money by any means and they're not tripping off the consequences but i have never ever ever ever thought that i would see somebody be willing to go to jail to see taylor swift especially a 44 year old grown-ass human you impersonated a police officer at 44 years old now i read once that almost half 48% of Taylor Swift's fan base was millennials,

which are people between the ages of 27 and 42. Even if that's true. Ivan, you're 44. Okay? You telling me you like shake it off that much? You telling me Cruz Summer, you belong with me, is worth standing in front of a judge for? No, Ivan, no. And you know what gets me?

You know what really gets me about people? The fact they don't think they look suspicious. You thought you could just go into the Hard Rock Stadium where the Dolphins play while the biggest music superstar on the planet was playing with no ticket and you thought everything would be okay? Okay?

Even the people you were driving said they did not know why their driver had a badge. So there was bad blood between you and your clients from the start you thought just throwing on a suit and wearing some fake badge over your neck was enough for you to remain incognito in a taylor swift concert then you had the nerve to be near the floor field area of the venue ivan they knew you was trouble when you walked in but apparently anti-hero is worth catching a charge over. Now, as of this Monday afternoon, Ivan remains in custody with a $1,500

bond and an immigration hold. You're not even from here and you're cutting up like this. Look here, you 44 year old senior Swifty. I bet you at this moment, you are wishing you could find a way to begin again and turn things around. I bet this is the reputation you don't want. But apparently antihero is worth catching a charge over. I say it's not. But since you clearly, you know, clearly love Taylor Swift, I need you to do me a favor, Ivan. If you have any doubt of what the root cause of your issues are find the nearest mirror in the turner gopher

night correctional center where you currently reside look in it and say it's me hi i'm the problem it's me because you are indeed the problem please give ivan mariotti the sweet You are the donkey of the day. You are the donkey of the day. Yee-haw. Statue, how old, like, is too old to be a Swifty? I think over 25. Flavor Flav is 65. Okay.

Statue of Limitation has been up on him being a Swifty. He has the friendship bracelets and stuff. Really? Mm-hmm. He goes to the concerts, all of them,

most of them, a lot of them. Okay. I guess you're taking your grandkids or something. No, he goes, he's there by just enjoying. He just goes to go?

Enjoying the show. Gotta monitor him. Gotta monitor him while he's there. Why? You just gotta monitor him. How join the show. Got to monitor him. Got to monitor him while he's there. Why? You just got to monitor him. Older people go to Taylor Swift concerts. Well, got to monitor them all.

So you don't think older people can like Taylor Swift? By the way, you can like Taylor Swift. He's 34. But I'm not catching no charge over Taylor Swift. I'm not impersonating a police officer, okay, to go see no damn Taylor Swift. If you want to pay for your Taylor Swift ticket, no, there's artists that are worth doing that. Like who? You just want to pay for your Taylor Swift ticket, no, there's artists that are worth doing that.

Like who? You just want to say? Like who? I think you could do that for Stevie Wonder. Stevie Wonder's up there in age, but he's a living, he's an icon.

An icon living. What? What? Nothing. I just want to say she took over the NFL. Now she's taking over your donkey of the day.

Mm. Mm-hmm. You hated to give her any, when I first brought that up, that whole Taylor Swift thing in this room, you hated to give her anything. Okay, let's talk about this.

Lauren, I wasn't gonna say anything. Now you wanna bring it up again. Now see, y'all think I be starting with Lauren. Now I gotta bring it up. It wasn't that Lauren, it's not that Lauren was into being a Swifty.

It was that Lauren had jungle fever. Lauren had white lust in her eyes that Lauren was into being a Swifty. It was that Lauren had jungle fever. Lauren had white lust in her eyes. Lauren was letting Dr. Umar down because she loved Travis Kelsey. She did. She was just talking about how Travis Kelsey was white chocolate, and she used to love her screensaver with Travis Kelsey with Tims on. Yes, she did. Now, she switched it up. No, that's not true. She's been up here a few months. Think she's going to run into Dr. Umar at any minute. Yes, she did. Now. You gonna lie? Now. You gonna lie? Now she switched it up.

No, that's not true. She's been up here a few months. Think she's gonna run into Dr. Humar at any minute. No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. She switched it up. Who was the other white gentleman that came in? Oh, Khalid.

Khalid Plant. Khalid Plant. I'm gonna wait until y'all done. Another white boxer. A white man with a beard. A white man with a beard. A white man with a beard. A white man with a beard.

A white man with a beard. A white man with a beard. A white man with a beard. A white man with a beard. A white man with a beard. A white man with a beard. A white man with a beard. A white man with a beard.

A white man with a beard. A white man with a beard. A white man with a beard. A white man with a beard. A white man with a beard. A white man with a beard. A white man with a beard. A white man with a beard.

A white man with a beard. A white man with a beard. A white man with a beard. A white man with a beard. A white man with a beard. A white man with a beard. A white man with a beard. A white man with a beard.

A white man with a beard. A white man with a beard. A white man with a beard. A white man with a beard is Lauren's kryptonite. You hear me? I am totally against that. That's right. All two of y'all. Y'all done? White man with a beard and some tins? I just wanted to make the point that, you know. 800-585-1051.

You might be coming on over, baby. Are you a black woman that are into white men as well? Call us up right now. Let's discuss. 800-585-1051. Are you a black woman that are into white men? Now, when I start taking calls about sleeveless shirts, you're going to be mad up here. You're going to be mad up here. You're going to be mad up here.

Are you a Dominican who just likes to get a little freaky? Are you a Dominican who thinks there's nothing wrong with being a little freaky? You want to be a 50 so bad and The Rock over here. She called me a pebble.

See, you got to have your jokes wrong. She said a pebble See you gotta have Your jokes wrong You should have said The pebble over there I was trying to give you one First of all The joke is that She called you The Rock

We all know you're not The Rock baby That's the joke We know you're not Morris Chestnut That's a lie See He's delirious

Now you just ain't Trying to get into heaven I wouldn't be upset If you decided to go And test out the waters At a Swiftie concert And see how it is It seems like you're interested

All I'm saying is What's that got to do With you liking white men You're very interested Shout out to all the white guys you decided to go and test out the waters at a Swiftie concert and see how it is. It seems like you're interested. All I'm saying is you're very interested. Shout out to all the white guys. If that's what she into and she want to be in an interracial relationship, I'll support it. All right, guys. I don't want nothing you support. Let's start this over. I sentence you to 500 lashes for conduct on becoming a black guy.

That's right. Enough, enough. And the phone lines lit up when I said if they're black women, they're white women. But we're not going to do that. White men. Well, the pickings are getting slim for long. Okay, so let's open the phone. Maybe her blessing is...

My blessing would never eat a dry sandwich. Don't. Do not. Listen, man. Maybe your blessing is in the Caucus Mountains. I don't know. Let's stop, guys. Dog here today is sponsored by renowned personal injury attorney Michael the Bull Laminsoff. Don't be a donkey when you need a fighter on your side.

If you're ever injured, go to MichaelTheBull.com. That's MichaelTheBull.com. And when you mess with the bull, you get the horns. Wake that ass up in the morning. The Breakfast Club.