The Breakfast Club - DONKEY: Florida Man's Arm Ripped Off By Gator Because He Was Peeing In The Pond

Episode Date: May 26, 2023

Florida Man's Arm Ripped Off By Gator Because He Was Peeing In The PondSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey guys, I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, The Running Interview Show, where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast, Post Run High, is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. Listen to Post Run High on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey y'all, Nimany here. I'm the host of a brand new history podcast for kids and families called Historical Records. Executive produced by Questlove, The Story Pirates, and John Glickman, Historical Records brings history to life through hip-hop. Flash, slam, another one gone. Bash, bam, another one gone. The crack of the bat and another one gone. The tip of the cap, there's another one gone. Each episode is about a different inspiring figure from history.

Like this one about Claudette Colvin, a 15-year-old girl in Alabama who refused to give up her seat on the city bus nine whole months before Rosa Parks did the same thing. Check it. And it began with me. Did you know, did you know? I wouldn't give up my seat. Nine months before Rosa, it was Claudette Colvin. Get the kids in your life excited about history by tuning in to Historical Records.

Because in order to make history, you have to make some noise. Listen to Historical Records on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, what's up? This is Ramses Jha. And I go by the name Q Ward. Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. to politics, to police violence, and we try to give you the tools to create positive change in your home, workplace, and social circle. We're going to learn how to become better allies to each other. So join us each Saturday for Civic Cipher on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Muhammad Ali, George Foreman, 1974.

George Foreman was champion of the world. Ali was smart and he was handsome. Story behind the Rumble in the Jungle is like a Hollywood movie. But that is only half the world. Ali was smart and he was handsome. The story behind The Rumble in the Jungle is like a Hollywood movie. But that is only half the story. There's also James Brown, Bill Withers, B.B. King, Miriam Akiba. All the biggest black artists on the planet.

Together in Africa. It was a big deal. Listen to Rumble, Ali, Foreman, and The Soul of 74 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everyone. This is Courtney Thorne-Smith, Laura Layton, and Daphne Zuniga. On July 8th, 1992, apartment buildings with pools were never quite the same as Melrose Place was introduced to the world.

We are going to be reliving every hookup, every scandal and every single wig removal together. So listen to Still the Place on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. So you're telling me to watch out for Florida, man?

The craziest people in America come from the Bronx and all of Florida. Yes, you are a donkey. A Florida man attacked an ATM for a very strange reason. It gave him too much money. Florida man is arrested after deputies say he rigged the door to his home in an attempt to electrocute his pregnant wife. Police arrested an Orlando man for attacking a flamingo.

It's a breakfast club, bitchy. Donkey of the day with Charlemagne the guy. I don't know why y'all keep letting him get y'all like this. Tell me my feet ashy. Oh, you got the low shit. You could have just took some off of your head. Donkey of the Day for Friday, May 26th goes to Jordan Rivera. Jordan is 26 years old, and he hails from the great state of Florida.

What does your Uncle Charlemagne always tell you about the great state of Florida? The craziest people in America come from the Bronx and all of Florida. OK, trust me, I know I was in Florida yesterday. All right. Dropping the clues before a lot of them. So everybody who listens to us on one or three five to beat out there in Florida for a lot of their logical stuff. My brother. Good luck and God bless to everyone going down to Miami for Memorial Day weekend. I heard it's a big prayer, praise and worship conference down there this weekend so y'all have fun now florida man jordan rivera is getting the biggest he hard today and it saddens me to

have to give him the biggest he hard because jordan just lost a limb yes he lost an arm not only did he lose an arm the creature responsible for him losing his arm lost his life but here's the thing this is all jordan's fault this whole situation is brought to you by jordan rivera being stupid and that's what donkey today is all about giving people the credit they deserve for being stupid i know i know you need context well let's go to the news report please i didn't lose my life lost an arm it's not the end of the world it's that attitude that outlook on life that stands out about jordan rivera despite being laid up in a hospital bed with wires all over,

he's counting his blessings. An alligator attacked Jordan early Sunday morning, biting off his right arm and nearly taking his life. They got my elbow, so I don't have an elbow, but I can still move my arm around and whatnot. Jordan doesn't remember much of what happened. What he does recall is that the bar he was at, Banditos in Port Charlotte, was busy,

and the bathroom line was long. So he walked to the pond out back. I just saw a little lake, trying to go over there and just take a little pee or whatnot. Something happened where I either tripped or something, the ground below me kind of just went down and I ended up in the water. And that's literally the last thing I remember. The next time he opened his eyes, he was here in the hospital. It's then he found out that the gator ate his arm. And I was like, whoa, like I was just, cause I woke up and I was just sitting here and I looked over and then I saw my arm the way it was. And I was like, Ooh, it kind of just looks like my arm just there, but not there. If you think this story is wild, you're not the only one. Try telling it

to the guy who's living through it, but remembers nothing. It was just the craziest thing. It was like almost like out of a movie. Now, thank you to ABC news for the report. Now I tell y'all all the time. I'm not the highest grade of weed in the dispensary no i'm not the strongest avenger but if i'm at a bar bandito's bar in port charlotte florida and i gotta pee so bad that i decided to go out back and pee in a pond a lake whatever you want to call this body of water if i go out there to pee and i don't remember what happened after that just hilarious on the scale of one the alcoholic how drunk am am I? Ten? Easily. Easily.

Easily. If you go outside from a bar to a lake to pee and you end up in the water and don't remember how, trust me, you've had too much to drink. Okay? If you blacked out, ended up in the water, and then woke up in the hospital with your arm missing, you've had too much to drink. Jordan, I don't know if you're fretting for your mom because she's sitting by you in that hospital and you don't want her to know that you was in this bar heavily intoxicated but i know

wasted when i hear it and you sir were wasted and because you don't know how to handle your liquor a perfectly innocent alligator was euthanized yes professionals later trapped and euthanized the alligator but simply being an alligator imagine being a gator minding your own damn business and you come across some of that red delicacy called human flesh. I mean, just literally, this tasty treat called Homo sapiens is just laying in the place you call home. For a gator, this is like a human walking up to their house and it's a million dollars in cash just sitting there.

Too good to be true. So what would you do? Take a hundred thousand? Maybe two? Then call the police and tell them it's a bag of cash sitting at my door. This is what this gator did. He could have took the whole body, the whole stash, but he was conservative and just took an arm. Okay, just a little bit.

And if you ask me, he had every right to do that. That gator should be alive today, but instead he's dead because Jordan Rivera got pissy, drunk, and passed out in his house. Okay, there was a million places to pee, all right? And there's a million places to pee when you had a bar. Either wait in line like everybody else, or say you identify as a woman and go in the woman's bathroom.

If you don't want to identify as being in your soft girl era, say you're non-binary or bi-gender, and then you can go to whatever bathroom, got the shortest line, male or female. Hey, why not go pee on the side of the building? I'll go pee by your car like normal people, but no. You want to go pee in those gators' house, and then when you pass out and fall in, you wonder why that gator wasn't shy about taking a bite of arm candy okay jordan uh you decided to take a nap in this gator's house this gator's house so you essentially was inviting this attack with open arms all right did this gator take advantage of you no you're an intruder in his house he disarmed you and went on about his

business okay thankfully for jordan there were bystanders around that were able to give him a hand after the attack. They saved his life because it could have cost him an arm and a leg if that poor gator was on a date. Okay, please give Jordan Rivera the sweet sounds are the donkey of the day yee haw I'm not mad at that Gator you pee on me

you pee on my house it's gonna pee all over the place and then banditos I be getting drunk in there too yeah yeah yeah shout out to Bandidos. They will fix chains to make you. Oh, it's a chain.

Yeah, Bandidos is like a real, real. It's one in New York. Ain't it a Bandidos? It's a Bandidos around. I never heard of it. I think me and my sister ran into it the other day. Yeah, but it's a chain. And their drinks are heavily strong.

And yeah, yeah. So what on you had somebody eating after you left Bandidos? Whoa. I ain't had nobody. It's freaky, freaky, freaky, bro! I know. I'm just saying, I ain't never had nobody. Oh, not Freakily with us. I'm saying, y'all ain't had to bust out with the Freakily after discussing that a gator lost their life.

Y'all ain't had to just go straight to it like that. You're right. But, yeah, but, I mean, I done got drunk and got some things eating, but it wasn't no arm or no leg, babe. Do you like it, baby? Do you like it, baby? They playing Freaky Leak in my ear, y'all. I love it. Oh, my goodness.

All right. It's Freaky, Freaky, Freaky Friday. And the question is, we're going back to the rumors. We're back to Jess with the mess, I should say. 800-585-1051. Oh, we need to tell BET Peace first. Oh, BET Peace. We'll see you later.

Peace. See you on Monday, next week, or Tuesday. Gotcha. So we're asking, 800-585-1051, would you be cool if your girl had an OnlyFans? Would that be okay with you? I feel like we've done this before. I don't know. Did we?

All right, look, I got a different topic. Okay. All right, look. So say, for instance, right, because I want to see if we just get them. Because I said that you made me just admit that I've been gay a little bit before, right? Mm-hmm. All right, so I have had sexual encounters with with women okay I don't consider myself gay cuz I will never do it again desire that I don't desire that right

just came out that's good no no no I came out before that I went back in it's not where I wanted to be yeah I don't even perform all the duties of a gay I ain't complete that many missions to be there no I'm still an orientation you just had a couple of missions a couple of missions a couple of kerfuffles you know what I'm saying so but I don't consider myself gay okay now a man would date me I tell him that then he wouldn't have a problem with that would you date a man that said he, you know, didn't complete the mission, but had a couple kerfuffles too? Like he...

A little dibble dabble. A little guy? A little dibble dabble. A little dibble dabble. A little dribble on the dibble. Oh, no. No, I wouldn't. Put the tip in, but then not the whole... Right, because see, like, I'm not gay. I'm not gay. You know what I'm saying? I don't really even consider myself ever being gay. But if a guy comes to me and he tell me he had the same little experience or whatever.

You wouldn't date him. I wouldn't date him. I wouldn't date him. So I don't know how to shorten that up. All right. Well, let's look at the phone lines. Do you feel like Jess Hilarious? You feel like if you're a woman, you could be a little gay and not be gay.

But you won't date a guy that. Find my drop. You know the drop I want. A little. Cuff off. Cuff off. You know the drop I want. What drop you want? I like Cuff Off.fuffle you know the drop I want what drop you want

I like kerfuffle oh it's an oldie but goodie what you don't have it I don't know you know the question but like I said is it okay

to experience gay as a woman and then say you're not gay no more and for guys can a guy experience gay a little bit and do the same thing

alright let's open up the phone lines let's discuss alright 800 what drop you want it I get it 800 I don't know some gay stuff For guys, can a guy experience gay a little bit and do the same thing? Let's open up the phone lines. Let's discuss. Yeah. All right. 800. What job you wanted? I get it. 800.

I don't know. Some gay stuff. I'm sure. 800-585-1051. It's The Breakfast Club. Good morning. It's Freaky Friday. Goddamn.

The Breakfast Club. Donkey of the Day is brought to you by the law office of Michael S. Laminsoff. Don't be a donkey. Dial pound 250 on your cell and say the bull if you've been hurt in a construction accident. That's pound 250 from your cell and say the bull. Hey, guys. I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, The Running Interview Show, where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more.

After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast, Post Run High, is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. Listen to Post Run High on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Story Pirates, and John Glickman? Historical Records brings history to life through hip-hop. Flash, slam, another one gone. Bash, bam, another one gone. The crack of the bat and another one gone. The tip of the cap, there's another one gone.

Each episode is about a different inspiring figure from history. Like this one about Claudette Colvin, a 15-year-old girl in Alabama who refused to give up her seat on the city bus nine whole months before Rosa Parks did the same thing. Check it. Get the kids in your life excited about history by tuning in to Historical Records, because in order to make history, you have to make some noise. Listen to Historical Records on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, what's up? This is Ramses Jha.

And I go by the name Q Ward. And we'd like you to join us each week for our show Civic Cipher. That's right. We discuss social issues, especially those that affect black and brown people, but in a way that informs and empowers all people. We discuss everything from prejudice to politics to police violence. And we try to give you the tools to create positive change in your home, workplace, and social circle. We're going to learn how to become better allies to each other.

So join us each Saturday for Civic Cipher on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Muhammad Ali, George Foreman, 1974. George Foreman was champion of the world. Ali was smart and he was handsome. The story behind The Rumble in the Jungle is like a Hollywood movie. But that is only half the story. There's also James Brown, Bill Withers, B.B. King, Miriam Akiba.

All the biggest black artists on the planet. Together in Africa. It was a big deal. Listen to Rumble, Ali, Foreman, and the Soul of 74 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everyone. This is Courtney Thorne-Smith, Laura Layton, and Daphne Zuniga. On July 8, 1992, apartment buildings with pools were never quite the same as Melrose Place was introduced to the world.

We are going to be reliving every hookup, every scandal, and every single wig removal together. So listen to Still the Place on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.