The Breakfast Club - DONKEY: Florida Woman Tells Cops Crack Pipe Found During Strip Search Was Sex Toy

Episode Date: January 25, 2023

Florida woman told cops crack pipe found during strip search was sex toySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Make sure you tell them to watch out for Florida Man. The craziest people in America come from the Bronx and all of Florida. Yes, you are a donkey. A Florida man attacked an ATM for a very strange reason. It gave him too much money. Florida man is arrested after deputies say he rigged the door to his home in an attempt to electrocute his pregnant wife. Police arrested an Orlando man for attacking a flamingo breakfast club bitch donkey of the day with charlemagne the guy i don't know why y'all keep letting him get y'all like this donkey today for wednesday january 25th goes to carmella

and mains of clearwater florida now what does your uncle charla always tell you about the great state of florida say it with me the craziest people in America come from the Bronx and all of Florida and today is no exception see Carmela was taken into custody Wednesday in Clearwater Florida after she failed to show up to court to face shoplifting charges now why no no not why Wow she was being processed at the county jail a body scan revealed an anomaly in her genital area I don't even know why I'm using big words like anomaly for no reason. They found something odd in her genitals. I know what you're thinking.

Was it a penis? All right. It can be a little confusing when someone tells you they are a woman, you know, but that's actually just what they identify as. And then when you get down there, whoa, you're staring at a whole plate of franken beans. But no, it wasn't a penis. Okay. It was a pipe. All right.

Not the kind of pipe that produces baby batter to procreate more life, but the kind of pipe that people put crack in and smoke it. You heard me correct. Crack. Fried cocaine rocks. This woman had a glass crack pipe in her vagina. Okay, yes, when officials conducted a script search of the suspect, they found a glass crack pipe protruding from the woman's pom-pom.

Carmela then removed the crack pipe from her vagina and intentionally threw it on the ground and stepped on it in an effort to destroy the evidence mind you she did all of this in front of the officers who had just discovered said evidence on her but that's not why she's getting donkey of the day it could be but it's not it's part of it the main reason she's getting donkey of the day is because of her excuse as to why there was a whole crack pipe in her vagina carmella said that the crack pipe wasn't a crack pipe but it was a sex toy she said this despite the fact that it was consistent with a pipe commonly used to smoke crack cocaine and it had

burnt markings all over it okay if she was really thinking she could have said the burnt markings came from that new screen of gonorrhea that's going around okay it don't just burn humans but nope she said that the crack pipe she got caught with you know was a sex toy let me tell you something carmella you might could have got that lie off if you wouldn't have put it in your vagina i repeat you might could have got that lie off if you didn't put the crack pipe in your poom poom if you're going to try to convince people a crack pipe is a sex toy then guess what you got to put the crack pipe in your pom-pom. If you're going to try to convince people a crack pipe is a sex toy, then guess where you got to put the crack pipe? In the crack of your ass.

All right, listen, man. There's a lot of people who are into anal play nowadays. All right, Cosmopolitan. I saw this article on MB's computer. Cosmopolitan just came up. No, he had his computer open and I saw it. Cosmopolitan came out with a list of the 15 best butt plugs for 2023.

You got the Jimmy Jane Aerial Glass Plug. Would you like to hear the review? Nope. Are we really talking about butt plugs? This is true. This is real. Okay. The review was, I got the Aerial and let me tell you, wow.

I was a little nervous that my inexperienced back door might have difficulty but i was surprised when it did not a bit of warming up and some lube and this thing had me reaching my oh like most glass toys you can use it cold or warmed up and i have to say playing with this toy was amazing i highly recommend this toy end quote that was a review why did i use that one why did i highlight that toy because it's a glass anal plug just like a crack pipe is made of glass it's time to rebrand crack pipes ladies and gentlemen okay they can actually be sex toys they even have the perfect name pipes are already slang for penis asses have cracks so this is a pipe for your ass all right butt plugs come in all forms silicone

glass metal anal plugs but the crack pipe could be a glass anal plug. I can see the reviews now on Cosmopolitan for the crack pipe. Such a great product, especially for the price. It's only $20, reads one review. Perfect for beginners and seasoned pros alike. Big enough to be satisfying, but small enough that it was comfortable to wear for a good period of time. I recommend the crack pipe to anyone that's smoking. Boom! That's how you make a crack pipe a sex toy carmella not the way you did it please give carmella means the sweet sounds of the hamiltons oh now you are the donkey of the day you are the doggy Of the day

Yeehaw Now tell me, Laleezy, you don't want to crack pipe after that review. Come on now. No interest in that or butt plugs. But that's just my personal preference. Whatever floats your boat. What about you, Envy? Want to play a game?

No, I don't want to play a game. I want to play a game. I'm going to be honest, man. This woman is on crack, and she's from Florida. I don't know what she is. When I look at her mugshot, let me... Let's play a game. Okay.

Here we go. Let's play a game of Guess What Race It Is! All right. La La first. Carmella Ann Mains of Clearwater, Florida. She got caught with a crack pipe in her vagina, and she told officers it was a sex toy. La Lazy.

Guess what race she is. Caucasian. What makes you think that, La Lazy? This is just what I think. This is just how I feel. Stick it to it. Did I win the money? Envy

Carmella Ann Mains A clear water floor Got caught with a crack pipe In her vagina Told officers it was a sex toy Guess what race she is This is a tough one Okay

See cause my black people They like to hide stuff They like to maneuver They don't mess with the police That's not just a black thing Knock it off Yes it is That is not just a black thing

Everybody got asses and vaginas. Well, not everybody. Wait, what? Everybody got an ass. Yeah, you know what I mean. I'm going to go with white. Okay. For what reason?

I don't know. It's just a feeling. Some white crackheadish stuff. Well, Lala, Envy, both of you are right. She's Caucasian! Yes! I said it first! You got it! Definitely a crackhead.

But you can tell why I was a little confused, right? She looks like a crackhead. What do you mean? Well, she don't look like a woman. You know what? Let's keep it moving. More water, let's crack. Can't believe there's a vagina in this one. All right.

Thank you for that donkey today. Up next. Come on. Woosah. Woosah. All right. Come on. Woosah.

Woosah. Okay. All right. Donkey of the Day is brought to you by the law office of Michael S. Lamisoff. Don't be a donkey. Dial pound 250 on your cell and say the bull if you've been hurt in a construction accident. That's pound 250 from your cell and say the bull.